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Speaker 1: Ladies and gentlemen. This may be a surprise, but you

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Speaker 1: don't have to live broke now to be rich later.

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Speaker 2: I love that look at you, you always dropping gems

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Speaker 2: in these little soundbites.

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Speaker 3: I love that you know.

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Speaker 2: And for me, I'm just always looking for ways to

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Speaker 2: save money now.

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Speaker 3: And I don't know who I am. Dead ass, dead ass.

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Speaker 2: Hey, I'm Kadeen and I'm Devout and we're the Ellis's.

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Speaker 1: You may know us from posting funny videos with our.

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Speaker 2: Voice and reading each other publicly as.

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Speaker 3: A form of therapy.

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Speaker 1: Wait, I make you need therapy most days. Wow.

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Speaker 3: Oh, and one more important thing to mention, we're married.

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Speaker 1: Yes, sir, we are.

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Speaker 4: We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of

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Speaker 4: Li's most taboo topics.

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Speaker 3: Things most folks don't want to talk about.

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Speaker 1: Through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead ass

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Speaker 1: is a term that we say every day. So when

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Speaker 1: we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred

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Speaker 1: the truth, the whole truth, and think about the truth.

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Speaker 1: Were about to take Billow talk to our whole new level.

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Speaker 3: Dead ass starts right now.

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Speaker 1: So storytime, all right. Every time we talk about money,

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Speaker 1: I talk about Kadean, I get excited. Yes, But see,

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Speaker 1: look I was about to say, but today I'm not

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Speaker 1: talking about I'm not talking.

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Speaker 3: About about get excited when we talk about money, you.

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Speaker 1: Do you she love talking about money and spending it too.

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Speaker 3: No, so much better though, guys.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, today I actually want to talk about how

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Speaker 1: I am changing the mentality of our boys when it

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Speaker 1: comes to money. Right, growing up in my household, everyone

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Speaker 1: I ever heard talk about money. They always talked about

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Speaker 1: just save money, save money, having in your account. My

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Speaker 1: dad keeps money in his house that he counts every day. Right.

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Speaker 1: Then he has his accounts that he looks at every day,

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Speaker 1: like McDuck, Yes, like screen scoop scoop McDuck scoop, mcdunck

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Speaker 1: or Troy mcscoop, whatever you want to call him. Right,

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Speaker 1: So I grew up the same way. I grew up

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Speaker 1: the exact same way. I like looking at my money

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Speaker 1: on my accounts. I keep my cash here to make

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Speaker 1: sure that, you know, if armor getting happens, that my

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Speaker 1: family would be okay. Right. But when it came time

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Speaker 1: to Jackson and Cairo and Kaz and Dakota, I didn't

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Speaker 1: want them to have that unhealthy obsession with money. Right,

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Speaker 1: The unhealthy obsession with money comes from us thinking that

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Speaker 1: you're never gonna get it. It's impossible to hold on

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Speaker 1: to and when you get it, you have to see it. Yes,

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Speaker 1: And I've changed that by getting Jackson a checking account.

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Speaker 1: I got him the first time, first checking account that

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Speaker 1: we have our partnerships that we work with with our bank,

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Speaker 1: and he has his own bank account, so he's able

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Speaker 1: to buy whatever he wants. Jackson no longer has to

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Speaker 1: ask me and his mom for anything. He works. His

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Speaker 1: working it does not come from doing chores, So make

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Speaker 1: up your bed, do dishes, I don't pay you for that.

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Speaker 1: What I pay him for is working on skills that

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Speaker 1: could help him make money in the future. So coding

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Speaker 1: he gets paid for that, Basketball he gets paid for

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Speaker 1: that football he gets paid for that. If his grades

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Speaker 1: are all above ninety, he gets a bonus because academically,

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Speaker 1: if you can be on top of those things, you

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Speaker 1: can make money from it. So I don't pay him

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Speaker 1: for cleaning because those are just grown adult things you

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Speaker 1: have to do. But what I've noticed with Jackson since

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Speaker 1: I started to pay him based on what he does,

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Speaker 1: He's starting to see money differently. Absolutely, he doesn't see

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Speaker 1: money as a scarce thing that he has to hold

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Speaker 1: on to, which has allowed him to be more forthgiving

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Speaker 1: with his money. He buys his brother's things, he buys

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Speaker 1: his friend's things. He buy me and you things sometimes

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Speaker 1: and a lot of times I'm like, bro, like that's

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Speaker 1: your money, why don't you want it? But you know what,

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Speaker 1: he says, I could always work for more. But what

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Speaker 1: that's done for me has made me realize that he

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Speaker 1: values money differently than we valued money. For sure, we

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Speaker 1: valued money and it's like it's impossible to get so

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Speaker 1: when you get it onto it. For him, it's like

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Speaker 1: I just have to work harder for it. So if

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Speaker 1: I spend money here, I have to work harder here

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Speaker 1: to get it back. I've also noticed that he budgets right.

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Speaker 1: His account is at a certain point. If I was

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Speaker 1: that age and I had that type of money at

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Speaker 1: that point, I probably would have spent it, because you know,

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Speaker 1: you get it, you think you have to hold onto it.

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Speaker 1: But then the Jordan's come out than this. Jackson has

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Speaker 1: programmed himself that he doesn't want his account to get

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Speaker 1: below a certain level, and every year its rate is risen,

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Speaker 1: so it's.

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Speaker 3: Like his own personal like goals for his money.

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Speaker 1: Yes, yep.

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Speaker 2: And I've even seen a pair of I think it

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Speaker 2: was sneakers or some kind of like sneakers that kids are,

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Speaker 2: you know.

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Speaker 3: I saw like an old lady for Christ, like an

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Speaker 3: old lady.

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Speaker 1: At the bottom. We had them back in the day

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Speaker 1: to La gears. I think Jackson was buying some La

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Speaker 1: gears Jackson's.

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Speaker 2: Stride, but no, And I remember I saw him like

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Speaker 2: kind of working through his head like damn, that costs

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Speaker 2: that much. He checked his account. He was just like,

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Speaker 2: I don't need them that bad. And he definitely didn't

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Speaker 2: get him. But then the other day at Amazon, package

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Speaker 2: shows up in his name and it's flossers for his teeth,

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Speaker 2: for his braces and a special toothpaste that he found

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Speaker 2: out about on YouTube.

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Speaker 3: And he was like, I wanted to try this new toothpaste.

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Speaker 2: So I was like, well, Jacks, if you want a

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Speaker 2: toothpaste and floss, you could have told me how they

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Speaker 2: got it at Target.

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Speaker 3: And he was like, Noah, man, I want to try

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Speaker 3: for myself. I have money, I can get it. So

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Speaker 3: I was like, all right, then buy a deodorant too.

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Speaker 1: You should know when he turns thirteen. When he turns thirteen,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to make it a point that he is

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Speaker 1: responsible to replenish and buy the things that he deems important.

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Speaker 1: The Flossters, deodorant, he got his contacts. These are things

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Speaker 1: that he wanted, Like he wanted contexts. He didn't want

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Speaker 1: to wear glasses. You replenished that, just to teach him

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Speaker 1: how to balance it, not hold it from him, and

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Speaker 1: then say here, your dad gave it to you, so

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Speaker 1: now be grateful. You want to continue to wear contexts.

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Speaker 1: A solution costs X amount dollars ordering the events. You

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Speaker 1: want a specialty rate because it got a little bit

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Speaker 1: of a sense. So you want to word cologne, you

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Speaker 1: buy it. You know what I'm saying. But I think

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Speaker 1: in teaching him that it's teaching him how to balance,

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Speaker 1: how to budget, but also how to enjoy his life

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Speaker 1: in real time sure and not wait until later on.

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Speaker 3: So good job, dad, That was a good tactic.

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Speaker 1: Now all right, In honor of our guest and also

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Speaker 1: Kay's favorite discussion, I see what color she got on right?

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Speaker 2: I Needallas, Dallas, Dallas is what I need?

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Speaker 1: A song that was?

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Speaker 3: That was my song?

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Speaker 1: I remember why that was your song?

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Speaker 3: I worked at MAD.

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Speaker 2: When I worked at Mac Cosmetics, y'all, there was the

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Speaker 2: playlists that played like every month or the week, and

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Speaker 2: it would be the same songs in rotation, and I'd

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Speaker 2: be in those stories for nine ten hours a day.

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Speaker 3: And that was one in particular.

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Speaker 2: Whenever a song used to come on, everybody knew that

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Speaker 2: was my song because we had a goal of money

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Speaker 2: that we had to make each day.

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Speaker 3: So once that.

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Speaker 2: Song came on, I was like, all right, y'all, I'm

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Speaker 2: hyping out. I gonna make this money. So yeah, that

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Speaker 2: was my little two cents for karaoke today.

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Speaker 1: Did they ever play this song.

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Speaker 3: Money, maney miney?

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Speaker 1: Did they ever play that? In Man?

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Speaker 5: They did Mad Money to make Mad Money for Frank

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Speaker 5: and Frank listen ship.

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Speaker 3: All right, ya, well, we.

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Speaker 2: Gotta make some money here for this podcast because if not,

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Speaker 2: there would be no what. So let's go pay some bills,

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Speaker 2: get into these ads, y'all, and we'll be back with

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Speaker 2: the special guests. All right, y'all, So you know, we

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Speaker 2: don't be doing the whole guest thing very often because

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Speaker 2: did Alla and I are just you know, we're not

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Speaker 2: about that life.

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Speaker 3: We know, y'all like to hear from us.

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Speaker 2: However, there's a particular guest that every season we have

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Speaker 2: to have her on. Yes, and I think she's the

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Speaker 2: only guest that we have every season for that reason,

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Speaker 2: just about because we absolutely adore her.

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Speaker 3: We love her spirit.

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Speaker 2: She is a fountain, a wealth of a knowledge, literally

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Speaker 2: a wealth of knowledge.

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Speaker 3: And I love.

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Speaker 2: To have her because she really puts things in perspective.

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Speaker 2: Me because for me, because finances never gets old, right,

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Speaker 2: money talk never gets old. So our favorite financial expert,

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Speaker 2: Tiffany Alice the Budget Nissa as we know her, is

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Speaker 2: back to share her knowledge with us some more and

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Speaker 2: has a brand new book that's out today, Made Whole,

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Speaker 2: The Practical Guide to Reaching Your Financial Goals is the

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Speaker 2: ultimate hands on workbook for anyone looking to get their

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Speaker 2: finances in order.

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Speaker 3: And that should be you, and you and yes you,

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Speaker 3: who's listening now?

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Speaker 1: All right?

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Speaker 2: So today Tiffany is here to tell us all about

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Speaker 2: what's in it and why you have to have this

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Speaker 2: book in your life.

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Speaker 1: Tiffany, what up?

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Speaker 6: Hey, I missed y'all.

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Speaker 1: Now we missed you too, Yo. You've been kind of touring,

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Speaker 1: you know, getting all the money, sharing all the knowledge

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Speaker 1: with the world. How you've been.

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Speaker 3: She's been quietly.

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Speaker 5: I have been to like four or five different countries

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Speaker 5: in the last few months. I mean, I just took

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Speaker 5: my my bonus daughter. We came back from Europe for

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Speaker 5: her sixteenth birthday. I took her to the London, Paris

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Speaker 5: and today Mafi Coast.

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Speaker 1: Oh, and that's what's up.

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Speaker 6: Before that, I was in Egypt before that Kenya.

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Speaker 5: So I just you know, I haven't really posted to

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Speaker 5: social I've just been like luxuriating in my quiet luxury.

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Speaker 2: I love that for you. Sometimes you just got to

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Speaker 2: be present in that moment. I completely understand it, and

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Speaker 2: I appreciate that, and I love that for you, Stace,

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Speaker 2: for sure.

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Speaker 1: Thank so talk to us about this book just so

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Speaker 1: you know. Ever since we've had our first conversation Season one,

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Speaker 1: Kadeen has been on top of her budget. She opens

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Speaker 1: up her account, she sees what's in there every day

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Speaker 1: every other day. She's very tedious when it comes to suspending,

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Speaker 1: like she's on top of it. And I want to

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Speaker 1: thank you personally. I've been telling her for years and

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Speaker 1: now she comes to me like, no, baby, you know

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Speaker 1: Tiffany said that said Tiffany said what Tiffany told you

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Speaker 1: that you should be doing.

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Speaker 2: What I've been telling you my financial fairy godmother Oprah,

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Speaker 2: you know, like he'd be like, you know.

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Speaker 3: Oprah said, so now you want to do it?

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Speaker 2: Or doctor Phil said so now, I'd be like, well, listen, Tiffany.

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Speaker 3: Said that what we should do with the money through

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Speaker 3: that's lou.

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Speaker 5: You need to hear from a different person. And honestly,

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Speaker 5: that's why I wrote. So y'all know, I wrote Get

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Speaker 5: Good with Money a couple of years ago.

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Speaker 6: It was New York Times bestseller, almost three hundred.

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Speaker 1: Yes, it was. Man, don't don't skip over that New

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Speaker 1: York Times.

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Speaker 6: Everybody around here's a time.

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Speaker 3: We wrote a book, wrote something.

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Speaker 5: But I decided that I wanted to write a companion

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Speaker 5: book to Get Good with Money, because gigod money is

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Speaker 5: quite like a textbook, you know, And I was like,

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Speaker 5: you know, what if I could write a work book

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Speaker 5: for people who really want to get to work right away?

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Speaker 6: And so that's why I made Made Okay behind me and.

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Speaker 3: So I love that how'd you come up with the title?

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Speaker 5: Because the components of this book is going to help

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Speaker 5: you reach what I call financial wholeness, you know. So

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Speaker 5: financial holeness is like these ten steps that if you

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Speaker 5: achieve these ten steps, you don't have to make a

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Speaker 5: million dollars, you don't have to be rich, but you

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Speaker 5: will be okay with your money. Because it really bothered

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Speaker 5: me that I felt like the financial space was leading

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Speaker 5: into everyone's teaching everyone how to make a million dollars.

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Speaker 5: Which that's great, but let's be real, everyone's not going

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Speaker 5: to reach that.

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Speaker 6: What if you're a pre school teacher.

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Speaker 5: What if you're a mechanic or a nurse and you

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Speaker 5: don't get that huge lump sum of money.

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Speaker 6: So does that mean you don't write a chance to

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Speaker 6: have a good life, You can't buy a car in

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Speaker 6: the house. And I say, no, I don't believe that

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Speaker 6: to be true.

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Speaker 5: And so I wrote Mad Whole to help just regular,

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Speaker 5: everyday people make the most out of their money. And

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Speaker 5: by reaching these ten financial steps that I outline here

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Speaker 5: so they can be okay as well, they can reach

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Speaker 5: financial holeness.

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Speaker 1: So let me ask a question. Right, I don't want

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Speaker 1: you to go through all ten steps because we don't

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Speaker 1: have time, right, but what would you say, of the

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Speaker 1: ten steps, are the most important three that could just

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Speaker 1: help people? Like just the most the top three? If

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Speaker 1: you do three these three you could be on the.

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Speaker 2: Path or can segue you because we also ultimately want

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Speaker 2: you guys to go out and get the book because

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Speaker 2: I know I'm going to get the book.

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Speaker 1: Two for sure, because we get good with money. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: we definitely support and not only support.

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Speaker 6: We learned.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and what I love about you what you said

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Speaker 2: about this book, Tiffany, is that regardless of what financial

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Speaker 2: level you're on, regardless of what your financial health looks

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Speaker 2: like in this moment, you will find it useful.

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Speaker 6: Absolutely.

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Speaker 5: Okay, So I would say first things first, foundationally, you

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Speaker 5: have to have a budget. They don't call it the

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Speaker 5: budget the stuff for nothing, so you know, it's the

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Speaker 5: foundation for all the things that you're doing.

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Speaker 6: You know, you can't say if you don't have a budget,

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Speaker 6: you can't get out of that.

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Speaker 5: You don't have a budget, your credit's probably going to

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Speaker 5: be the greatest if you don't have some sort of budget,

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Speaker 5: which is just a money plan telling your money what

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Speaker 5: to do.

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Speaker 6: So that's one.

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Speaker 5: The second one I'll say is learning to earn, because

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Speaker 5: you're not going to budget your way to financial security.

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Speaker 5: You have to learn how to make money when needed,

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Speaker 5: you know, like not just from your regular job.

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Speaker 6: But in made whole, I teach you how to make money.

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Speaker 5: How to make more money at your regular job, and

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Speaker 5: if you need excess money, I teach you how to

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Speaker 5: make money outside of your regular job. So that's I

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Speaker 5: would be number two for me. It's like meaning like

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Speaker 5: a hustle, like a siey, that's what you want, a

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Speaker 5: side hustle, a business, you know, like we have to

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Speaker 5: make additional income, Like when I used to teach preschool.

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Speaker 5: I love teaching, but there were times I needed more money.

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Speaker 5: So I learned that I could tutor. I learned that

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Speaker 5: I could I could babysit. So learning how to make

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Speaker 5: more money is critical in your financial holeness journey.

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Speaker 6: And then last, but not least, I.

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Speaker 5: Would say, it will be hmm, I'm vacillating between your

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Speaker 5: net worth and maybe it will be financial professionals because

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Speaker 5: I think, especially for black and brown communities, we hesitate

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Speaker 5: to ask for help when it comes to our money.

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Speaker 5: So I have a whole section of the book about

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Speaker 5: how to identify the financial professionals you need on your

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Speaker 5: money team, you know, like who can help you.

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Speaker 2: That's interesting, that's interesting. It's interesting you mentioned that too,

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Speaker 2: because I think about when you say that in the

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Speaker 2: black and brown communities, we are apprehensive sometimes to ask

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Speaker 2: for help when it comes to the money. And I

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Speaker 2: even think of our parents' generation, because we're at the

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Speaker 2: space in our life where we're almost becoming like parents

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Speaker 2: to our parents. And you know, knowing that my mom

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Speaker 2: and dad, for example, are retired or on a fixed income,

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Speaker 2: and they like to see their money in their account

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Speaker 2: and they don't want to take any chances. They don't

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Speaker 2: want to take any risks. And Deval and I were

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Speaker 2: trying to explain to them, like they just hold a

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Speaker 2: property recently that they had in New York. You have

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Speaker 2: this lum sum of money. It's like, how can you

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Speaker 2: now use this money to work for you, which may

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Speaker 2: require a little bit of gambling, you know, or taking

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Speaker 2: ariad But that generation specifically does not like to take

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Speaker 2: that race. So how do you encourage that, you know,

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Speaker 2: for anyone, how are you going to take a risk

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Speaker 2: to potentially get this money to grow?

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Speaker 5: So that's actually perfect. So one of my friends, his

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Speaker 5: grandmother lives around the corner for me, shout out to you,

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Speaker 5: miss Diane. And so she recently same sold the property

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Speaker 5: that she actually got from her grandmother for a dollar

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Speaker 5: so many years ago. Miss Banne is like in her

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Speaker 5: late late seventies, and so she sold the first significant

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Speaker 5: amount of money. I'm not going to say Miss Diane's

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Speaker 5: gonna be like, but she got a cute coin, a

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Speaker 5: cute coin, and Miss Diane is more scared than ever

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Speaker 5: chid what it took to get Miss Diane. So he

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Speaker 5: came to me, he was like, she will not listen

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Speaker 5: to me. She has all this money sitting in a

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Speaker 5: checking account just looking at it to your because anybody're looking,

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Speaker 5: she would have seen and see her, you.

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Speaker 3: Know, every day, like on just to see Yes.

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Speaker 6: So I told him, I said, well, one, you her grandbaby.

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Speaker 5: She's not gonna listen to you because she's like, I know,

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Speaker 5: the baby ain't even though he's grown forty. She's like

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Speaker 5: like the behind now, right, The first things first, you

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Speaker 5: have to bring it outside help. And so what I

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Speaker 5: told him is, then let's get a certified financial planner,

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Speaker 5: which is a type of the gold standard of a

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Speaker 5: financial advisor, which I help.

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Speaker 1: Oh before you continue, before you continue, please tell the

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Speaker 1: difference because people have been asking ever since season one,

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Speaker 1: what's the difference between a certified financial planner and a CPA.

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Speaker 5: Oh okay, so a CPA is a certified Public accountant,

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Speaker 5: So that's your accountant.

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Speaker 6: Yes, So there are financial advisors.

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Speaker 5: Anyone could basically call themselves an advisor for the most part,

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Speaker 5: but a CFP, a certified financial planner, is a gold standard.

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Speaker 5: They have to take a certain level of testing, they

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Speaker 5: have to have been in business for a certain amount

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Speaker 5: of time, they have to keep up their knowledge base,

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Speaker 5: and they have to be what they call a fiduciary,

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Speaker 5: meaning a fiduciary has to legally put your interest first before.

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Speaker 1: Anything else first.

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Speaker 5: So if you're looking for a type of financial advisor,

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Speaker 5: there are many types. You want to look for a CFP,

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Speaker 5: a certified financial planner because that is the top because

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Speaker 5: everybody can't make it. It's like the difference between like, oh,

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Speaker 5: I play you know, reck Ball on the weekends and

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Speaker 5: you and the NBA.

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Speaker 6: So right right, you don't don't be fooled.

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Speaker 1: Don't be fooled.

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Speaker 5: So you want to see f P, a certified financial planner,

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Speaker 5: and I I teach you the book like how do

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Speaker 5: you identify, how do you interview?

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Speaker 6: How do you pick the right one?

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Speaker 5: And so what I did with miss miss Diane is

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Speaker 5: and her grandson. As I said, miss Diane, like, you

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Speaker 5: are gonna want someone because she wanted it to be me.

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Speaker 6: But I'm not a CFP.

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Speaker 5: I'm a financial educator, meaning that I just teach financial knowledge.

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Speaker 5: I don't tell you what to do with your money,

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Speaker 5: specifically what to do with your money. So I told

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Speaker 5: her what we can do is I showed her that

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Speaker 5: this is how you interview. I'm going to line up

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Speaker 5: my top three financial planners that I like personally mine am,

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Speaker 5: this woman named Amy, and this other woman named Helen.

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Speaker 5: And I said, and for the first one, I will

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Speaker 5: co interview I know Amy, but I will co interview

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Speaker 5: her with you so you can see, so you can

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Speaker 5: see what questions to ask and like what And so

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Speaker 5: I did that and she was really just like okay.

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Speaker 6: And so they did the.

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Speaker 5: Next two on their own, and they ended up choosing Amy.

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Speaker 5: And so now Amy is the referee between what her

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Speaker 5: grandson wants because he's young, he's forty, so he's.

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Speaker 6: Like, yo, let's put it in the market.

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Speaker 5: Let's the best, you know, And then what she wants,

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Speaker 5: which is I don't want to I don't want to

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Speaker 5: lose now one cent I want to ride this thing

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Speaker 5: out until I'm no longer here.

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Speaker 6: And so Amy helps to add that.

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Speaker 5: Extra sense of comfort for me, saying I just saw

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Speaker 5: her the other day, like last week, and I said,

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Speaker 5: let me walk over and check on her. I said,

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Speaker 5: how's it going with Amy? She's like, I like her.

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Speaker 5: Amy's a little older. Sorry, Amy, you know, I'm just

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Speaker 5: saying you are a little older.

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Speaker 6: It was a little old. Actually, she's a little older.

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Speaker 5: So she liked the fact that someone they're not close

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Speaker 5: in age, but old enough where she felt like and

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Speaker 5: that this is someone who can understand like why she

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Speaker 5: might be a little or hesitant. So slowly they had

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Speaker 5: been like chipping her toward, like, well, let's put some

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Speaker 5: of this money into a high yield savings account. Let's

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Speaker 5: open up, like put some of this money, like, let's

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Speaker 5: look at what it might look like to purchase another

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Speaker 5: property that could be a property to live in and

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Speaker 5: potentially a property for investment. So with Amy's expertise, she's

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Speaker 5: building trust and slowly inching Miss Diane to a place.

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Speaker 5: I have to always remind her grandson, Dee, I'm like, yo,

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Speaker 5: she's Miss Dianne. She's seventy seven years old. Like she

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Speaker 5: don't walk, that she don't want that. She's not gonna

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Speaker 5: move fast, you know with her money, you know. But

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Speaker 5: that movement that's 'ah making is aligned. Before she wasn't

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Speaker 5: moving at all. So that's what I say that if

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Speaker 5: you have older parents, like my dad, you know, is

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Speaker 5: in his eighties and my mom is in her seventies,

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Speaker 5: he got himself a hunt gred you know, young.

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Speaker 6: Girl, but they too.

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Speaker 5: I mean my dad, you know, was an accountant, and

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Speaker 5: but still it was hard for him for me to

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00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:56,480
Speaker 5: move the needle when it came to making certain financial choices.

440
00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:59,040
Speaker 5: Like his will was like he made his will when

441
00:19:59,119 --> 00:20:00,720
Speaker 5: I was like ten years old, and I'm my daddy,

442
00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:02,600
Speaker 5: you need to update it and he would say later

443
00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:04,800
Speaker 5: and I'm like, I mean, not gonna be shady, bro,

444
00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:05,240
Speaker 5: but you.

445
00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:13,879
Speaker 7: Eighty here, you actually past the expiration there because the

446
00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:16,119
Speaker 7: AVA person lives to seventy eight and God willing, are

447
00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:16,640
Speaker 7: you gonna be there?

448
00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:21,200
Speaker 6: But we're here now.

449
00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:23,439
Speaker 5: And so but it took me to bring in my

450
00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:25,800
Speaker 5: I had this is another component of the book, right

451
00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:29,840
Speaker 5: the financial professionals. I brought in my attorney to have

452
00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:32,280
Speaker 5: the conversation to say, like, what are you afraid of

453
00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:34,000
Speaker 5: He didn't really want to go through all the work,

454
00:20:34,119 --> 00:20:36,840
Speaker 5: so she did a template of a will where they

455
00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:38,920
Speaker 5: could just make little changes versus having the bill from

456
00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:41,320
Speaker 5: from scratch. So that's what I say, like having the

457
00:20:41,359 --> 00:20:44,960
Speaker 5: initial conversation with your person, your your parent, your grandparent,

458
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:48,920
Speaker 5: bringing in a financial expert to help buffer, and then

459
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:51,399
Speaker 5: slowly working towards like what's this is the desired outcome,

460
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,240
Speaker 5: and you can have your side conversation with the expert

461
00:20:53,359 --> 00:20:55,840
Speaker 5: like here's a desired outcome, this is what I'd like

462
00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:58,320
Speaker 5: to see, and the expert works with you and you're

463
00:20:58,320 --> 00:21:00,760
Speaker 5: a grandparent or parent to get there. But having that

464
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:03,440
Speaker 5: conversation is critical the sooner because it's gonna take a while.

465
00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:05,720
Speaker 5: The sooner you start those conversations, the better.

466
00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:10,120
Speaker 1: This is what I've realized, Tiffany. And that's I'm glad

467
00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:12,160
Speaker 1: we're having this conversation because we've been talking to your

468
00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:15,040
Speaker 1: parents who are now retired. My mom is looking to retire,

469
00:21:15,119 --> 00:21:17,960
Speaker 1: my dad just retired this year. And the hardest thing

470
00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:20,840
Speaker 1: explaining to anybody, not just people in their generation, but

471
00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:24,200
Speaker 1: to anybody is that money is a tool. That's all

472
00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:27,800
Speaker 1: it is. People like to collect money and like you said,

473
00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:28,560
Speaker 1: steer at it.

474
00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:29,440
Speaker 3: It's a security, buddy.

475
00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:31,959
Speaker 1: But if you're staring at it in a checking account,

476
00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:36,200
Speaker 1: ultimately over the years is gonna diminish one mainly because

477
00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:38,640
Speaker 1: of interest, Like once interest grows up their money even

478
00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:40,920
Speaker 1: if you don't spend it. But you also have to live,

479
00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:43,439
Speaker 1: so you pay your mortgage, every month, you pay your card. No,

480
00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:45,800
Speaker 1: it's gonna keep going away. If you don't utilize that

481
00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:50,040
Speaker 1: money as a tool, you'll never You'll never have financial security.

482
00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:53,879
Speaker 1: Can you talk about the best ways to turn your

483
00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:54,800
Speaker 1: money into a tool.

484
00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:57,520
Speaker 5: So to start, if you're really, really, really nervous at

485
00:21:57,560 --> 00:22:01,160
Speaker 5: the very least, open up a high yield savings account.

486
00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:03,360
Speaker 1: Come on, I'm the back plate, you.

487
00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:04,720
Speaker 6: Know, because the people get scared and I'm like.

488
00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:06,840
Speaker 5: The good thing about a high yel savings account is

489
00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:09,679
Speaker 5: if you're like, I'm totally risk adverse. Is that up

490
00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:12,960
Speaker 5: to two hundred and fifty thousand dollars per bank, you

491
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:16,159
Speaker 5: know you can you are protected if it's an FDIC

492
00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:19,320
Speaker 5: insured if this is a federally backed bank, meaning that

493
00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:22,040
Speaker 5: up to two fifty if the bank goes under, the

494
00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:23,439
Speaker 5: government will give you back your two.

495
00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:24,040
Speaker 1: Still get money.

496
00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:25,160
Speaker 6: So it's like you can't lose.

497
00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:28,240
Speaker 5: Right and so right now, like as of the taping

498
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:31,199
Speaker 5: of this podcast, right now, I'm seeing like four and

499
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:32,840
Speaker 5: a half percent like return.

500
00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:34,800
Speaker 6: And so inflation.

501
00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:39,680
Speaker 5: Inflation is when money is devalued or things cost more

502
00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:42,320
Speaker 5: over time, meaning your money is worth less year after year.

503
00:22:42,359 --> 00:22:45,320
Speaker 5: And right now, the inflation in the United States is

504
00:22:45,359 --> 00:22:47,360
Speaker 5: that money is going down in value at about three

505
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:50,719
Speaker 5: point something percent. So you know, if you put your

506
00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:52,920
Speaker 5: money in a high yield you're making four and a

507
00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:55,760
Speaker 5: half percent, but your money is losing three and something percent.

508
00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:58,240
Speaker 5: So at least at least dollar for dollars, you stay

509
00:22:58,240 --> 00:23:00,639
Speaker 5: in about even, you know. So if you don't do

510
00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:03,160
Speaker 5: anything else, you have a lumpsum money, take it out

511
00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:06,560
Speaker 5: of checking and put it into a high yield savings account,

512
00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:07,199
Speaker 5: you know.

513
00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:09,639
Speaker 1: But that's important that you said though. It has to

514
00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:11,480
Speaker 1: be high yields for you to even be close to

515
00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:13,960
Speaker 1: breaking because if you keep it in a saving and

516
00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:16,760
Speaker 1: keep it in a checking account just based on inflation,

517
00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:17,960
Speaker 1: you're gonna lose money.

518
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:19,639
Speaker 6: Of the year because so think about high yields.

519
00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:22,199
Speaker 5: This typically the big banks that you see outside on

520
00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:23,840
Speaker 5: the corner, you know, like those big old banks that

521
00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:26,560
Speaker 5: we all know, they don't offer most of them don't

522
00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:29,159
Speaker 5: offer high yeald savings, so the interest they're paying you

523
00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:33,240
Speaker 5: is point zero zero or zero zero zero. I mean,

524
00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:36,920
Speaker 5: I mean not only that. So they take your money.

525
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:38,480
Speaker 5: You put that little hundred dollars you got in there,

526
00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:41,359
Speaker 5: They take your hundred and they pimp it out and

527
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:44,280
Speaker 5: loaning and make money off of it, and then say

528
00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:46,320
Speaker 5: they get fat off that money, and then say here's

529
00:23:46,359 --> 00:23:47,440
Speaker 5: a penny for your troubles.

530
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:53,440
Speaker 3: But at least with a high definitely all like eighty

531
00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:56,040
Speaker 3: four cent. I was like eighty four a cent.

532
00:23:56,119 --> 00:23:58,520
Speaker 5: You don't want to take your saved. I never keep

533
00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:00,639
Speaker 5: my savings at one of those brick and mortar banks.

534
00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:03,160
Speaker 5: Is that I keep my check neighbor there for convenience

535
00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:05,119
Speaker 5: because if you go, especially y'all like y'all, you travel,

536
00:24:05,359 --> 00:24:07,159
Speaker 5: so I like to keep my checking there so no

537
00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:08,840
Speaker 5: matter where I am in the country, I can get

538
00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:12,200
Speaker 5: to my money and my savings. Typically, most high yield

539
00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:15,480
Speaker 5: savings accounts you'll find with online only banks because they

540
00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:17,560
Speaker 5: don't have the same overhand, you know, they don't have

541
00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:19,520
Speaker 5: like the location they have to worry about, So.

542
00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:23,200
Speaker 1: I never thought about that. That's why it actually makes

543
00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:25,040
Speaker 1: sense because it's not brick and mortar. They don't have

544
00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:26,480
Speaker 1: any expenses more sense, so.

545
00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:27,359
Speaker 6: They're able to pass.

546
00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:29,520
Speaker 5: You know, at least you get four five pennies versus

547
00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:32,440
Speaker 5: the one penny. So that's so that's one if you're

548
00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:35,480
Speaker 5: gonna do anything too. If you're still nervous, I want

549
00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:37,159
Speaker 5: you to look at your job and if you have

550
00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:39,440
Speaker 5: you know, you're not self employed or whatever, and see

551
00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:41,760
Speaker 5: are you is your money being put into some sort

552
00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:44,560
Speaker 5: of four to one k, you know, whatever retirement account

553
00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:46,879
Speaker 5: is available. Like you might say, oh, I don't do

554
00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:48,600
Speaker 5: all retirement account because I don't know where to put

555
00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:51,040
Speaker 5: my money. You don't have to. I can almost guarantee

556
00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:53,880
Speaker 5: most four one ks or four or three b's or whatever.

557
00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:57,720
Speaker 5: The retirement account has has something called a target date

558
00:24:57,960 --> 00:25:01,960
Speaker 5: fund a TD target date fund, and that is when

559
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:04,240
Speaker 5: you say, this is the year I think I want

560
00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:07,600
Speaker 5: to retire closest to sixty time or whatever. You're gonna

561
00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:10,960
Speaker 5: find TDF and the year that's closest like TDF two

562
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:14,040
Speaker 5: thousand and sixty five, TDF two thousand and seventy, whatever

563
00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:16,600
Speaker 5: that year is, and you can say I want my

564
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:19,600
Speaker 5: money put into that fund, and the fond will choose

565
00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:23,960
Speaker 5: the investments for you based upon risk. So the further

566
00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:26,919
Speaker 5: you are from retirement, the more you'll be invested in stocks.

567
00:25:27,119 --> 00:25:29,159
Speaker 5: The closer you are, the more you'll be invested in

568
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:30,880
Speaker 5: bonds and things that are a little bit safe in bonds.

569
00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:32,280
Speaker 5: So you ain't got to worry about it. You just

570
00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:34,200
Speaker 5: put your money in your target day fund and every

571
00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:37,359
Speaker 5: year that you get closer to retirement is the investments

572
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:39,840
Speaker 5: get more and more conservative until you're ready and then

573
00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:42,320
Speaker 5: you can pull your money out. So that's the second thing.

574
00:25:42,359 --> 00:25:44,440
Speaker 5: Make sure you're putting money in your retirement account.

575
00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:46,440
Speaker 1: So let me ask you a question, because this is

576
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:48,720
Speaker 1: what I've been talking to her mom and my mom about.

577
00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:51,080
Speaker 1: Right when you do have a four to one K,

578
00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:53,679
Speaker 1: now you get that lump some four on one K,

579
00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:57,080
Speaker 1: can you explain why it's not smart to just take

580
00:25:57,119 --> 00:25:59,120
Speaker 1: that lump some four one K putting in a checking

581
00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:01,280
Speaker 1: account and say this be my money till I die.

582
00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:03,840
Speaker 1: Can you please explain? Because I try to explain to

583
00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:05,360
Speaker 1: them that money is a tool. You need to use

584
00:26:05,359 --> 00:26:08,040
Speaker 1: it to make more money, like you said, buy another property,

585
00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:10,639
Speaker 1: start a business. But a lot of people say I

586
00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:12,800
Speaker 1: got my four on one K. This is what I'm

587
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:14,840
Speaker 1: supposed to use until I die. So if I have

588
00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:17,000
Speaker 1: two hundred and fifty K and my four on one K,

589
00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:19,600
Speaker 1: hopefully I only live a certain amount so I can

590
00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:21,439
Speaker 1: pay my mortgage. Like I'm trying to explain to them,

591
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:23,960
Speaker 1: that's the wrong way to view it. Can you explain

592
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:26,280
Speaker 1: to them why that's so bad? Ideal?

593
00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:29,680
Speaker 5: The ideal ideal? Ideal is that money that you put

594
00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:31,840
Speaker 5: up is a seed. So I want to think about

595
00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:36,000
Speaker 5: like the difference between like an apple seed and an apple. Right,

596
00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:39,040
Speaker 5: So that seed that you initially planted ten years ago

597
00:26:39,119 --> 00:26:42,720
Speaker 5: in the backyard, like that is the initial investment to

598
00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:45,119
Speaker 5: your retirement account. You're puting seeds. You' putting seas. The

599
00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:47,920
Speaker 5: seeds grow some trees. Over time, your retirement is growing.

600
00:26:48,119 --> 00:26:51,120
Speaker 5: The trees grow branches. Your retirement is growing. The branches

601
00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:55,720
Speaker 5: eventually yield apples, and ideally, in retirement, you're going to

602
00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:59,040
Speaker 5: want to eat the apples because what essentially the ball

603
00:26:59,119 --> 00:27:01,200
Speaker 5: that you're saying that your parents are doing. They're going

604
00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:03,680
Speaker 5: back and digging up the seeds and eating the seeds

605
00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:06,080
Speaker 5: they originally put in, and so you will.

606
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:06,639
Speaker 6: Kill the tree.

607
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:10,600
Speaker 5: So ideally you want to be starting exactly what ideally

608
00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:12,640
Speaker 5: what you want to do is that you, of course,

609
00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:14,080
Speaker 5: who is mowing the lawn?

610
00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:16,119
Speaker 1: Can you hear that? I'll met you.

611
00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:19,240
Speaker 6: That's my landscape. I'm like Lewis.

612
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:24,439
Speaker 2: I don't hear it Wednesdays too. It happens over here.

613
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:25,680
Speaker 2: We start later for that reason.

614
00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:28,680
Speaker 6: And so so ideally what you want to do is

615
00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:29,800
Speaker 6: lead them seas alone.

616
00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:32,800
Speaker 5: And you want to eat the apples only, and meaning

617
00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:36,160
Speaker 5: that you want to live off the investment what it's yielding.

618
00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:39,399
Speaker 6: So I live by so many people they call the

619
00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:40,240
Speaker 6: four percent rule.

620
00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:43,040
Speaker 5: This is what I live by, meaning that you put

621
00:27:43,119 --> 00:27:45,800
Speaker 5: up enough money and you never take more than four

622
00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:48,560
Speaker 5: percent out because on average, if you have your money

623
00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:52,000
Speaker 5: invested into the market, it's going to yield. It's gonna

624
00:27:52,040 --> 00:27:54,280
Speaker 5: yield no more than it's gonna yield like ten percent

625
00:27:54,359 --> 00:27:56,560
Speaker 5: on average. So the last hundred years the market has

626
00:27:56,680 --> 00:28:00,959
Speaker 5: yielded on average annually ten percent, meaning some years thirty,

627
00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:03,480
Speaker 5: some years negative twenty, but it all evens out to

628
00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:07,920
Speaker 5: about ten percent. So if you only live off four

629
00:28:08,160 --> 00:28:10,760
Speaker 5: it keeps you real safe to one never touched the

630
00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:13,119
Speaker 5: original seed, and to allowed to keep growing because you

631
00:28:13,119 --> 00:28:15,040
Speaker 5: got about six percent to play with, just in case

632
00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:18,520
Speaker 5: it gets a little crazy, you see. And so for me, I,

633
00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:22,080
Speaker 5: when I'm no longer here those season I plan it

634
00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:24,600
Speaker 5: will continue to grow apples for whoever comes after me,

635
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:27,720
Speaker 5: and I can still live. Well, just eat my four percent,

636
00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:31,439
Speaker 5: eat my four percent, and that's actually safer than digging

637
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:33,840
Speaker 5: up the tree. It's like the goose that laid the

638
00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:35,840
Speaker 5: golden egg. Just keep getting the eggs.

639
00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:37,720
Speaker 6: Someone doesn't cut the goose open, and.

640
00:28:38,360 --> 00:28:40,520
Speaker 3: You know now that goose will no longer you know.

641
00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:44,040
Speaker 5: And that story, the farmer was like, well, why should

642
00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:45,560
Speaker 5: I wait for this goose to lay a golden egg

643
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:47,520
Speaker 5: every week? I could just cut it open and scoop

644
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:49,920
Speaker 5: out all the gold now. And he found that there

645
00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:51,640
Speaker 5: was nothing in the goose but just a regular goose.

646
00:28:51,760 --> 00:28:54,040
Speaker 5: So now you cut the thing that was generating you money.

647
00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:58,040
Speaker 5: Damn if you spend the source, SI analogy and tall

648
00:28:58,040 --> 00:28:59,760
Speaker 5: you generating you money. So that's what you share with

649
00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:02,720
Speaker 5: your parents, which is like, this is the source. This

650
00:29:02,840 --> 00:29:05,400
Speaker 5: source can generate your money indefinitely, even when you're not

651
00:29:05,440 --> 00:29:07,680
Speaker 5: even here. But if we start, if we eat these

652
00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:10,320
Speaker 5: seeds now, no more apples will grow. So let's leave

653
00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:12,240
Speaker 5: the seats alone and only eat from the apples.

654
00:29:13,160 --> 00:29:16,479
Speaker 1: I like that I like that. That actually is a good,

655
00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:19,560
Speaker 1: really good way to do it, because they all want

656
00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:21,080
Speaker 1: to take it out. They want to take it out

657
00:29:21,120 --> 00:29:24,239
Speaker 1: before one k and hold it and I got it now.

658
00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:26,320
Speaker 1: But you're right though, because that's killing the guest. Killing

659
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:28,760
Speaker 1: Why kill the goose if the goose is going to continue.

660
00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:31,840
Speaker 5: To give you to get your eggs every morning, get

661
00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:35,160
Speaker 5: your four percent, Like I just get my four percent.

662
00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:37,200
Speaker 5: I'll get my four percent you know, every single year

663
00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:40,160
Speaker 5: that way. Know that, Like it doesn't matter how long

664
00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:41,120
Speaker 5: I live, because I.

665
00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:42,520
Speaker 6: Know I'll never outlive that mnchy.

666
00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:46,640
Speaker 1: You've got to live within the four And the good

667
00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:49,240
Speaker 1: thing is if you if you make more money, you

668
00:29:49,360 --> 00:29:51,680
Speaker 1: just keep putting more money back into the goose. So

669
00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:53,760
Speaker 1: now you make it more money, you keep ordering keep

670
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:55,720
Speaker 1: that plan so it can.

671
00:29:58,360 --> 00:30:00,720
Speaker 5: Because if you lived at the full tea and then

672
00:30:01,080 --> 00:30:03,120
Speaker 5: basically you bring yourself back to like let's just say

673
00:30:03,160 --> 00:30:06,080
Speaker 5: you have one hundred thousand dollars in your retirement account

674
00:30:06,360 --> 00:30:09,560
Speaker 5: and every year the one hundred thousand dollars grows through

675
00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:12,600
Speaker 5: one hundred thousand, one hundred ten thousand dollars, because that's

676
00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:14,920
Speaker 5: ten percent. So certainly you could say, well, I'm just

677
00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:16,600
Speaker 5: gonna take the ten percent, So I'm back at one

678
00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:17,160
Speaker 5: hundred thousand.

679
00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:18,200
Speaker 6: Ever, you'll take the ten percent.

680
00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:20,120
Speaker 5: You could do that and just keep that hundred thousand,

681
00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:22,720
Speaker 5: But what I'm saying is it grows to add one

682
00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:25,320
Speaker 5: hundred thousand, grows to one hundred and ten thousand. I'm saying,

683
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:28,440
Speaker 5: only spend four thousand, so that one hundred thousand is

684
00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:31,400
Speaker 5: one hundred and six. Now, now it grows interest on

685
00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:34,520
Speaker 5: one hundred and six, and so it's like and then

686
00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:37,960
Speaker 5: next year it's not ten thousand, maybe it's one hundred

687
00:30:37,960 --> 00:30:40,040
Speaker 5: and twelve, and so you still take your four percent.

688
00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:42,480
Speaker 6: Now, all of a sudden, you see, like that extra interest,

689
00:30:42,520 --> 00:30:43,040
Speaker 6: you're leaving.

690
00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:46,080
Speaker 5: Every year more money money, money, And then also too,

691
00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:48,640
Speaker 5: like it gives your chance to leave a legacy. That's

692
00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:50,360
Speaker 5: one of the chapters in the book, the last chapter

693
00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:52,680
Speaker 5: about leaving a legacy, like how do we leave a

694
00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:55,560
Speaker 5: legacy for those that come after us?

695
00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:58,200
Speaker 6: Like when I'm not here, you know, like my my

696
00:30:58,640 --> 00:30:59,440
Speaker 6: nieces and nephew.

697
00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:01,920
Speaker 5: You know, I'm leaving them plenty, But it doesn't mean

698
00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:03,600
Speaker 5: I live less of a life, you know, off camera,

699
00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:05,960
Speaker 5: you know, or I just shared with y'all. I just

700
00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:08,120
Speaker 5: bought a condo cash half a million dollars I paid

701
00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:10,120
Speaker 5: for it, and I'm renovating it another one hundred thousand

702
00:31:10,280 --> 00:31:12,800
Speaker 5: I paid for it. So it's not that like I'm

703
00:31:12,880 --> 00:31:15,920
Speaker 5: leaving all this money left over for my nieces and

704
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:18,040
Speaker 5: nephew and my sisters if I'm not here anymore, and

705
00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:19,160
Speaker 5: then I don't live well now.

706
00:31:19,280 --> 00:31:22,240
Speaker 6: No, I'm I'm living well now, like I'm getting all

707
00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:22,720
Speaker 6: the things.

708
00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:25,720
Speaker 5: Yes, but I'm still living within my means, you know,

709
00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:28,640
Speaker 5: in a way that I can enjoy life while still

710
00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:29,440
Speaker 5: leaving a legacy.

711
00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:30,120
Speaker 6: That is possible.

712
00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:32,600
Speaker 5: That is why why I wrote maid whole, not to

713
00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:35,800
Speaker 5: teach you how to be wealthy, But how do you maximize.

714
00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:36,920
Speaker 6: The money that you have access to already?

715
00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:38,640
Speaker 1: Nothing?

716
00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:42,400
Speaker 2: Okay, going back to the first thing that you mentioned,

717
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:44,680
Speaker 2: which was the budget. Now that was something that in

718
00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:47,120
Speaker 2: the very first season devout always a joke about me.

719
00:31:47,160 --> 00:31:49,680
Speaker 2: I'd say budgets are made to be broken, because that

720
00:31:49,840 --> 00:31:53,680
Speaker 2: was my mindset. So how do you speak to someone

721
00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:57,440
Speaker 2: who may be again like your nurse, your doctor, your lawyer,

722
00:31:57,600 --> 00:32:00,920
Speaker 2: your you know, tea school teacher, anyone and who is

723
00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:06,960
Speaker 2: maybe has the the unhealthy relationship discipline. You don't want

724
00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:10,560
Speaker 2: to say but budget just sounds like, oh, it sounds

725
00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:13,360
Speaker 2: like a restraint. It sounds like boundaries. How do you

726
00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:17,680
Speaker 2: encourage someone to develop a healthy relationship with budget? Because

727
00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:20,320
Speaker 2: I know how it has worked for me and how

728
00:32:20,360 --> 00:32:22,520
Speaker 2: I've seen the benefits of it over the course of

729
00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:25,280
Speaker 2: the past couple of years. But how can you speak

730
00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:26,880
Speaker 2: to someone who said, you know, this is the first

731
00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:28,440
Speaker 2: place you're going to start when you get this book

732
00:32:28,560 --> 00:32:30,920
Speaker 2: made whole budgeting is the first thing.

733
00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:32,400
Speaker 3: How do they create a healthy relationship?

734
00:32:32,480 --> 00:32:33,880
Speaker 5: But well, you can change the name. I like to

735
00:32:33,960 --> 00:32:37,040
Speaker 5: call my budget. I say yes plan, Like the budget

736
00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:39,240
Speaker 5: is there for me to say yes to me. It's

737
00:32:39,280 --> 00:32:41,360
Speaker 5: there to say yes to me in a way that

738
00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:44,240
Speaker 5: will keep me safe and maintain my current life style.

739
00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:45,520
Speaker 5: So I like to think about budget, like why are

740
00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:48,160
Speaker 5: you a black mama? Your budget is your black mama.

741
00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:50,320
Speaker 6: Right, Like I'm sure your kid's Like, Mom, could I

742
00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:51,080
Speaker 6: have dessert?

743
00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:51,400
Speaker 7: Yes?

744
00:32:51,520 --> 00:32:53,160
Speaker 6: After you have dinner? Can I play outside?

745
00:32:53,240 --> 00:32:53,360
Speaker 1: Yes?

746
00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:56,120
Speaker 6: After you do your choice? Can I, you know, jump

747
00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:58,600
Speaker 6: in the pool? Yes? If after you put on sunscreen.

748
00:32:59,080 --> 00:32:59,920
Speaker 6: The budget is you could?

749
00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:02,960
Speaker 5: It is there to say yes because you care about

750
00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:05,120
Speaker 5: your boys, you know, But is there to say yes

751
00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:06,720
Speaker 5: in a way that keeps them safe.

752
00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:08,720
Speaker 6: And so that is a budget.

753
00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:11,880
Speaker 5: The parameters are not there to hold you back, is

754
00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:14,960
Speaker 5: but to provide the safest environment forward for you to

755
00:33:15,040 --> 00:33:15,480
Speaker 5: have a yes.

756
00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:17,480
Speaker 6: So that's how I like to think of a budget.

757
00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:20,280
Speaker 3: And you don't have to like thinking of the yes yes,

758
00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:22,320
Speaker 3: and you know also the moments when you can't yes.

759
00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:25,080
Speaker 5: But I mean and if it doesn't say yes now right,

760
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:26,560
Speaker 5: then it's like, well, what can I do to get

761
00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:28,120
Speaker 5: to a yes? That's what your budget is there for.

762
00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:31,200
Speaker 5: It's there so you can see your money down on paper.

763
00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:33,720
Speaker 5: So you're like, oh, you know what, Actually I don't

764
00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:35,880
Speaker 5: really eating out is all right, but I much rather

765
00:33:35,920 --> 00:33:38,160
Speaker 5: go on vacation. I can get a yes and vacation

766
00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:40,400
Speaker 5: if I reduce this thing that I don't even care about.

767
00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:43,840
Speaker 1: You know, see this, this is why, this is why

768
00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:47,920
Speaker 1: I really appreciate what you do, because it's always a mentality.

769
00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:51,880
Speaker 1: Right when when people hear budget, the first thing people

770
00:33:51,960 --> 00:33:53,880
Speaker 1: think is, oh, this budget is going to tell me no,

771
00:33:54,920 --> 00:33:57,720
Speaker 1: as opposed to, this budget is going to allow me

772
00:33:57,840 --> 00:34:00,560
Speaker 1: to be able to say yes when I really want

773
00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:02,560
Speaker 1: to do something. And I think that's the biggest thing.

774
00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:06,400
Speaker 1: Budgets aren't a list of nose. Used to look at

775
00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:09,840
Speaker 1: it like a list of loads astrations.

776
00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:12,880
Speaker 2: Like don't hold my sagittarian and that's hostage because that's

777
00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:15,640
Speaker 2: when I become the sagittatist everything.

778
00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:18,560
Speaker 1: But if you got to listen to her now, her

779
00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:21,080
Speaker 1: sister is and her brother in law getting married, right,

780
00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:23,480
Speaker 1: So we had things we were planning to do, and

781
00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:26,399
Speaker 1: this is the first thing Kadeen said to them. Can

782
00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:28,560
Speaker 1: you guys, are you guys going to be able to

783
00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:30,359
Speaker 1: do that? Because you're planning a wedding. I'm like, wait

784
00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:33,640
Speaker 1: a minute, wait a minute, you did you just check

785
00:34:33,719 --> 00:34:35,800
Speaker 1: them or doing something because they have something to do

786
00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:43,320
Speaker 1: in the Martyr for change, And if you think about it,

787
00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:45,560
Speaker 1: that's the way you should think about life. Everything is

788
00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:48,000
Speaker 1: in a no, it's not it's not a dream denied,

789
00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:51,600
Speaker 1: it's a dream deferst. I can do it now and

790
00:34:51,719 --> 00:34:53,040
Speaker 1: then I will have to do a whole bunch of

791
00:34:53,080 --> 00:34:56,560
Speaker 1: shit I don't want to do later, or I can decide,

792
00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:59,040
Speaker 1: you know what, I'll alter my plans now to do

793
00:34:59,120 --> 00:35:03,480
Speaker 1: whatever I want do later. On budget is an automation.

794
00:35:03,600 --> 00:35:05,200
Speaker 5: You don't have to because I think people also think

795
00:35:05,239 --> 00:35:08,200
Speaker 5: they have to be with a notebook, writing down every penny,

796
00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:11,560
Speaker 5: like everybody got the top of that, right. So instead,

797
00:35:11,680 --> 00:35:13,120
Speaker 5: what I like you to do is I tell people

798
00:35:13,160 --> 00:35:15,120
Speaker 5: do the split it before you get it right, which is,

799
00:35:15,640 --> 00:35:18,480
Speaker 5: you figure out how much money you need. And there's

800
00:35:18,520 --> 00:35:22,400
Speaker 5: two four accounts, two checking, two savings, one account for bills,

801
00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:26,320
Speaker 5: one account for spending these checking accounts, one account for

802
00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:29,640
Speaker 5: long term savings or emergency savings, and one account for

803
00:35:30,239 --> 00:35:32,840
Speaker 5: goal savings. These are these are your higheld savings accounts.

804
00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:35,719
Speaker 5: So you go to your HR department and say, I

805
00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:37,680
Speaker 5: need you to put my money these four accounts for me,

806
00:35:38,080 --> 00:35:40,520
Speaker 5: so you don't even have to budget. So yeah, So

807
00:35:40,600 --> 00:35:42,759
Speaker 5: money goes into your bill's account, money goes into your

808
00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:45,520
Speaker 5: spending account, money goes into your both your two savings accounts,

809
00:35:45,760 --> 00:35:48,319
Speaker 5: and you have your you only have your debit card

810
00:35:48,360 --> 00:35:51,320
Speaker 5: attached to that one checking account for spending, so that

811
00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:53,640
Speaker 5: way you can spend as much as you want for groceries,

812
00:35:53,680 --> 00:35:56,720
Speaker 5: for hair nails, lashes, whatever, but it's only gonna attached

813
00:35:56,719 --> 00:35:59,120
Speaker 5: to that account because you know, bills is paid automated.

814
00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:02,080
Speaker 6: Saving. The others say was to say, this is one

815
00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:03,080
Speaker 6: of the ways that you get.

816
00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:05,640
Speaker 5: Over the hump of having to be so responsible is that, like,

817
00:36:05,960 --> 00:36:07,600
Speaker 5: I never worry if I'm overspending.

818
00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:08,200
Speaker 6: How can I?

819
00:36:08,239 --> 00:36:12,399
Speaker 5: I can only spend what's attached to to my debit card,

820
00:36:12,480 --> 00:36:14,279
Speaker 5: and so I split it before I get it. And

821
00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:16,120
Speaker 5: if you do that, that will help you maintain a

822
00:36:16,160 --> 00:36:17,840
Speaker 5: budget and not feel so bad about it.

823
00:36:19,239 --> 00:36:23,400
Speaker 1: Tiff. Let me tell you that is literally literally what

824
00:36:23,560 --> 00:36:27,680
Speaker 1: we do. Kadeen and I pay ourselves. But we pay

825
00:36:27,760 --> 00:36:31,880
Speaker 1: ourselves like our cash fund, our slush fund, after everything

826
00:36:31,920 --> 00:36:36,799
Speaker 1: else is taken care of. We have trust building, wealth building, mortgages,

827
00:36:37,040 --> 00:36:40,080
Speaker 1: children for one k's and then at the end, after

828
00:36:40,160 --> 00:36:42,400
Speaker 1: all of that stuff is paid, Kadeen and I have

829
00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:44,280
Speaker 1: our money. Could Deen get some money in her account?

830
00:36:44,360 --> 00:36:45,879
Speaker 1: And she's just like, I could do whatever I want

831
00:36:45,920 --> 00:36:48,759
Speaker 1: to do with this because everything else And then now

832
00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:52,200
Speaker 1: she's planning her whole life based on this, and what

833
00:36:52,360 --> 00:36:54,239
Speaker 1: she's realized is like, dang, I ain't even need that

834
00:36:54,440 --> 00:36:56,640
Speaker 1: much to plan what I wanted to do. So at

835
00:36:56,680 --> 00:36:58,160
Speaker 1: the end of every month, I'm like, how much money

836
00:36:58,160 --> 00:36:58,840
Speaker 1: you got on your account?

837
00:36:58,840 --> 00:37:02,120
Speaker 2: She's like that, like look, and even he was surprised

838
00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:03,440
Speaker 2: one day. He was he was like, you know, how

839
00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:04,360
Speaker 2: about you got in your account?

840
00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:05,560
Speaker 3: Are you good? And I'm like, yeah, I have X

841
00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:08,480
Speaker 3: amount of dollars and he was like, you haven't been

842
00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:09,640
Speaker 3: doing any spending.

843
00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:16,520
Speaker 5: There's a freedom in that because you thought to yourself,

844
00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:19,560
Speaker 5: I do that, I'm in financial jail. But now you realize, wait,

845
00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:23,719
Speaker 5: the organization actually grants me freedom, not jail, because now

846
00:37:23,880 --> 00:37:27,400
Speaker 5: you know I can spend in a way that doesn't

847
00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:29,399
Speaker 5: harm anything else that I'm doing. I could do whatever

848
00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:31,239
Speaker 5: I want with this money, you know. So that just

849
00:37:31,320 --> 00:37:32,000
Speaker 5: feels really good.

850
00:37:32,120 --> 00:37:32,719
Speaker 6: Yeah, I love that.

851
00:37:33,480 --> 00:37:35,840
Speaker 1: That That actually is like the best feeling when I

852
00:37:35,880 --> 00:37:37,520
Speaker 1: look at my slush account and I could be like them,

853
00:37:37,560 --> 00:37:39,480
Speaker 1: I could just spend all this today and I don't

854
00:37:39,520 --> 00:37:42,319
Speaker 1: got to worry about nothing. It feels good. I don't

855
00:37:42,320 --> 00:37:45,800
Speaker 1: feel like it feels freedom. But I just heard something.

856
00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:48,520
Speaker 1: I think it was Serena, No, it was Venus Williams.

857
00:37:49,040 --> 00:37:52,480
Speaker 1: Venus Williams said, structure for her and discipline is freedom.

858
00:37:53,280 --> 00:37:56,000
Speaker 1: She said, structure and discipline is freedom because since she's

859
00:37:56,040 --> 00:37:58,160
Speaker 1: learned to be so structured and disciplined from when she

860
00:37:58,320 --> 00:38:00,839
Speaker 1: was young, when she's ready to do what she wants

861
00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:03,480
Speaker 1: to do, she's always able to do it. She's like,

862
00:38:03,600 --> 00:38:07,040
Speaker 1: I've been so structured and I've created such a strong foundation.

863
00:38:07,960 --> 00:38:10,040
Speaker 1: She and I think Serena in that same interview was

864
00:38:10,120 --> 00:38:12,359
Speaker 1: just like, there's like, what's your big splurs She's like, well,

865
00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:14,480
Speaker 1: my my big splurgs. I like to buy houses.

866
00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:15,400
Speaker 6: Excuse me.

867
00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:20,920
Speaker 1: I'm like, god, dang, like some people be like a bracelet.

868
00:38:21,080 --> 00:38:23,320
Speaker 1: She said, No, she likes to buy a problem. But

869
00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:26,440
Speaker 1: imagine you've been so structured that one day you're just like,

870
00:38:26,480 --> 00:38:27,800
Speaker 1: you know, if they go to house is worth a

871
00:38:27,840 --> 00:38:29,600
Speaker 1: million dollars, yep, I'll buy it.

872
00:38:29,719 --> 00:38:30,680
Speaker 3: So it's just that's freedom.

873
00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:33,839
Speaker 2: It's changing the viewpoint or the negative connotations around words

874
00:38:33,880 --> 00:38:37,160
Speaker 2: like structured, yes, and looking at it as freedom.

875
00:38:37,520 --> 00:38:39,959
Speaker 5: But even now that I'm retivating the condo that I bought,

876
00:38:40,800 --> 00:38:43,719
Speaker 5: I already know because I'm like every year I have

877
00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:45,200
Speaker 5: a certain amount of money that I like to give

878
00:38:45,239 --> 00:38:49,560
Speaker 5: to my financial advisor to put up for my seats

879
00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:51,600
Speaker 5: that I want to put up. You know, that's about

880
00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:53,840
Speaker 5: half a million dollars or so I'm like, Okay, this

881
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:55,200
Speaker 5: is my goal. You know, we got to hit it,

882
00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:57,320
Speaker 5: and so I like to hit it as early as possible.

883
00:38:57,640 --> 00:38:59,480
Speaker 5: I used to be like, if I hit it, you know,

884
00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:02,399
Speaker 5: by I don't know, like August, let me keep going

885
00:39:02,680 --> 00:39:05,280
Speaker 5: and it took Angelie my financial and be like, girl,

886
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:09,360
Speaker 5: you good like that, like I know your goal of

887
00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:11,600
Speaker 5: what it is, and that half a million that you

888
00:39:11,680 --> 00:39:13,480
Speaker 5: put up, you're going to reach that goal.

889
00:39:13,800 --> 00:39:16,839
Speaker 6: You're giving me extra. It just means less life for you, now,

890
00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:21,320
Speaker 6: you know. So now she was like, go ahead. So

891
00:39:21,520 --> 00:39:23,359
Speaker 6: now I've already had my goal with her.

892
00:39:23,520 --> 00:39:26,360
Speaker 5: And so now when I am looking at like I

893
00:39:26,480 --> 00:39:28,640
Speaker 5: was looking at Marble for the for the master Bath,

894
00:39:28,719 --> 00:39:29,360
Speaker 5: I was like, oh, I.

895
00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:34,440
Speaker 6: Don't want it on give me that horrible hit my Marble.

896
00:39:35,239 --> 00:39:36,759
Speaker 5: I was like, but I none of that because I

897
00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:38,960
Speaker 5: feel free that I can, I know how much Like

898
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:41,840
Speaker 5: it's my slush account. I'm like, Tiffany has a freedom

899
00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:45,120
Speaker 5: to get fancier things in your place that maybe if

900
00:39:45,160 --> 00:39:46,759
Speaker 5: I had not seen my plan.

901
00:39:46,920 --> 00:39:49,360
Speaker 6: And knowing like you already feels all the other buckets

902
00:39:49,360 --> 00:39:50,040
Speaker 6: you good my mind.

903
00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:52,000
Speaker 5: You don't you don't have to actually hold back like

904
00:39:52,120 --> 00:39:54,080
Speaker 5: this extra money, like if you want to spend the

905
00:39:54,120 --> 00:39:57,440
Speaker 5: extra you maybe I have a budget for them renovation,

906
00:39:57,560 --> 00:39:59,279
Speaker 5: but if I want to spend an extra thirty thousand dollars,

907
00:39:59,280 --> 00:40:01,560
Speaker 5: it doesn't take away for my retirement account, doesn't take

908
00:40:01,560 --> 00:40:03,600
Speaker 5: away from my own goals, doesn't take away from bills,

909
00:40:03,640 --> 00:40:06,160
Speaker 5: It doesn't take away from anything. This is money that

910
00:40:06,400 --> 00:40:09,239
Speaker 5: is in excess and so I can use it to

911
00:40:09,360 --> 00:40:11,080
Speaker 5: enhance my current life. And that's what I want for

912
00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:14,399
Speaker 5: people that we are not here to merely work, pay

913
00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:15,920
Speaker 5: bills and countpennies.

914
00:40:16,160 --> 00:40:20,719
Speaker 6: You know, that's like whole Listen, how do you want

915
00:40:20,760 --> 00:40:21,279
Speaker 6: your life to go?

916
00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:23,520
Speaker 5: You are here to use money, to your point about

917
00:40:23,560 --> 00:40:26,480
Speaker 5: as a tool for a better life, and that's what

918
00:40:26,560 --> 00:40:26,839
Speaker 5: I want.

919
00:40:27,200 --> 00:40:30,680
Speaker 3: Yes, I love that because that's actually sums up my

920
00:40:30,760 --> 00:40:31,279
Speaker 3: final question.

921
00:40:32,120 --> 00:40:35,480
Speaker 1: The biggest I was like, dang, that was the perfect

922
00:40:35,520 --> 00:40:36,359
Speaker 1: take pay for take.

923
00:40:36,480 --> 00:40:37,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, what I was going to ask, what was your

924
00:40:37,719 --> 00:40:39,520
Speaker 2: biggest take or what do you hope people will have

925
00:40:39,640 --> 00:40:41,160
Speaker 2: as the biggest takeaway from maid whole?

926
00:40:41,239 --> 00:40:42,239
Speaker 3: And that I think that was it.

927
00:40:42,719 --> 00:40:47,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, being made whole doesn't mean that you sacrifice your

928
00:40:47,280 --> 00:40:49,680
Speaker 1: whole life so the people after you can live. No,

929
00:40:49,880 --> 00:40:52,759
Speaker 1: being made whole means that you learn to sacrifice in

930
00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:54,919
Speaker 1: the right time so you can live the best life

931
00:40:55,040 --> 00:40:58,760
Speaker 1: you living right now. That's what people don't understand about

932
00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:01,399
Speaker 1: financial literacy because that's ultimately what it is. It ain't

933
00:41:01,440 --> 00:41:03,480
Speaker 1: about just making all the money putting it in the

934
00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:07,080
Speaker 1: side for your kids or your nephew's. No, it's putting

935
00:41:07,120 --> 00:41:09,200
Speaker 1: the money to where I can use it for my life,

936
00:41:09,360 --> 00:41:10,040
Speaker 1: right exactly.

937
00:41:10,040 --> 00:41:12,800
Speaker 2: Because even to go back to speak on the property

938
00:41:12,880 --> 00:41:15,319
Speaker 2: my parents just so, my father's mindset was well, I'm

939
00:41:15,360 --> 00:41:17,279
Speaker 2: going to have this property for my three children, so

940
00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:19,800
Speaker 2: when I passed away, they can then inherit this house.

941
00:41:20,360 --> 00:41:21,880
Speaker 2: And Deval and I were talking to him and we

942
00:41:21,960 --> 00:41:23,480
Speaker 2: were like, Dad, but if you were to sell it

943
00:41:23,600 --> 00:41:26,040
Speaker 2: now in a market that was a seller's market, and

944
00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:29,440
Speaker 2: we can now then use that money to then make

945
00:41:29,520 --> 00:41:32,800
Speaker 2: our own investments, like sell it, then divide it, and

946
00:41:32,880 --> 00:41:36,000
Speaker 2: then we can now have the leverage to do those investments.

947
00:41:36,120 --> 00:41:39,400
Speaker 1: We told them. He said that you have one property

948
00:41:39,719 --> 00:41:44,080
Speaker 1: that's paid off, That one property can now be six properties.

949
00:41:44,480 --> 00:41:47,400
Speaker 1: Once you sell that property, each of your children can

950
00:41:47,440 --> 00:41:50,080
Speaker 1: then buy two properties with that same money and then

951
00:41:50,160 --> 00:41:52,080
Speaker 1: do the same thing for their kids.

952
00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:54,240
Speaker 3: And that's when he was like, that's the legacy.

953
00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:55,960
Speaker 1: He was like, oh, I said yeah, because your kids

954
00:41:55,960 --> 00:41:58,400
Speaker 1: are still working, so they don't need the money from

955
00:41:58,480 --> 00:42:00,400
Speaker 1: your property right now. All they can can use it

956
00:42:00,480 --> 00:42:03,000
Speaker 1: for as an investment for something else. That's what you

957
00:42:03,200 --> 00:42:06,920
Speaker 1: call planning. That seed and watering it. Dad, let them

958
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:09,000
Speaker 1: water their own seeds now so that they can continue

959
00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:09,120
Speaker 1: to go.

960
00:42:09,200 --> 00:42:15,920
Speaker 6: And he's like, I love that, thinking that season.

961
00:42:16,320 --> 00:42:20,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just in time, just in season. Tiffany, thank

962
00:42:20,719 --> 00:42:23,160
Speaker 2: you so much for joining us again. And it's always, always,

963
00:42:23,200 --> 00:42:25,400
Speaker 2: always a pleasure to have you here. The fact that

964
00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:27,680
Speaker 2: you have another book, which you're already gonna say, is

965
00:42:27,680 --> 00:42:30,000
Speaker 2: gonna be a New York Times that's already Oh yeah.

966
00:42:29,840 --> 00:42:33,640
Speaker 1: You can already. You can already put that on And

967
00:42:33,680 --> 00:42:34,919
Speaker 1: when when exactly does it drop?

968
00:42:34,960 --> 00:42:37,439
Speaker 5: Though it should already be out by now, November twenty first,

969
00:42:37,480 --> 00:42:41,000
Speaker 5: because I know this is airing around that time, and

970
00:42:41,040 --> 00:42:44,759
Speaker 5: so it's available at Mad Whole workbook dot com. That's

971
00:42:44,840 --> 00:42:45,520
Speaker 5: made Whole working.

972
00:42:45,600 --> 00:42:48,279
Speaker 2: Then you're going, baby, I think that's the perfect time

973
00:42:48,320 --> 00:42:51,280
Speaker 2: with holiday seasons coming in. It's giving the perfect stocking

974
00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:54,320
Speaker 2: stuff for the perfect gift. Go get that book, especially

975
00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:56,600
Speaker 2: when people like to go into the hole for the holidays.

976
00:42:56,640 --> 00:42:58,640
Speaker 1: So go get that book, and I'm gonna be made whole.

977
00:42:58,719 --> 00:42:59,600
Speaker 6: Don't go into the hole.

978
00:43:00,239 --> 00:43:03,120
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be honest. I'm going to be honest. Your

979
00:43:03,160 --> 00:43:07,040
Speaker 1: first book is something that you and I have adopted. Yes,

980
00:43:07,280 --> 00:43:08,960
Speaker 1: a lot of when people as were telling me how

981
00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:12,239
Speaker 1: did the Elysis get out of the apartment to move here.

982
00:43:12,680 --> 00:43:14,640
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie to you. So many of the

983
00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:17,640
Speaker 1: themes and the ideas and the way I just viewed

984
00:43:17,800 --> 00:43:21,279
Speaker 1: money changed from twenty and eighteen, and a lot of

985
00:43:21,320 --> 00:43:22,640
Speaker 1: it had a lot to do with the fact that

986
00:43:22,760 --> 00:43:27,200
Speaker 1: we spoke. Our first conversation was twenty eighteen. Then when

987
00:43:27,239 --> 00:43:29,200
Speaker 1: the book came out, I was like, this is stuff

988
00:43:29,200 --> 00:43:29,919
Speaker 1: that we talked about.

989
00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:33,720
Speaker 3: We expected our financial advice, Like okay, so said.

990
00:43:37,360 --> 00:43:39,560
Speaker 1: Then, but then he started following you and it was

991
00:43:39,640 --> 00:43:41,239
Speaker 1: just like, yo, she got some dope. He's like, she

992
00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:44,279
Speaker 1: got some dope, some dope by this. And the thing is,

993
00:43:44,360 --> 00:43:48,279
Speaker 1: it wasn't for just oh, you're in entertainment, you're an athlete. No,

994
00:43:48,480 --> 00:43:52,160
Speaker 1: it was for everybody. So I can guarantee you if

995
00:43:52,160 --> 00:43:53,680
Speaker 1: you have the first book and now you get the

996
00:43:53,760 --> 00:43:56,520
Speaker 1: second book, you will not be disappointed and start planning

997
00:43:56,560 --> 00:43:59,160
Speaker 1: to live the life you want right now, not forty

998
00:43:59,239 --> 00:43:59,640
Speaker 1: years later.

999
00:44:00,400 --> 00:44:03,680
Speaker 2: That's it freedom, maybe structured discipline that mainehold.

1000
00:44:03,800 --> 00:44:05,640
Speaker 3: Thank you so much, Seff. Let everyone know where they

1001
00:44:05,680 --> 00:44:07,520
Speaker 3: can find you too. I am the bu case. They're

1002
00:44:07,560 --> 00:44:08,160
Speaker 3: new to the show.

1003
00:44:08,320 --> 00:44:11,960
Speaker 5: All the things Instagram. I know, know on's on Facebook

1004
00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:14,719
Speaker 5: like that anymore, but I'm there too, YouTube.

1005
00:44:17,280 --> 00:44:18,920
Speaker 6: Dot com. But yeah, so I'm there everywhere.

1006
00:44:20,239 --> 00:44:23,160
Speaker 2: Awesome, all right, we love you so so much. Thanks

1007
00:44:23,239 --> 00:44:26,279
Speaker 2: for being with us again for sure, and all the

1008
00:44:26,320 --> 00:44:27,520
Speaker 2: best with this book, baby.

1009
00:44:29,080 --> 00:44:44,880
Speaker 1: Out all right, Man, it's always fun with with Tiffany

1010
00:44:44,960 --> 00:44:45,480
Speaker 1: Man and budget.

1011
00:44:46,640 --> 00:44:50,040
Speaker 2: She's great, She's always insightful. She literally really has like

1012
00:44:50,160 --> 00:44:52,960
Speaker 2: helped us so so so much when it comes to

1013
00:44:53,760 --> 00:44:56,200
Speaker 2: just building over the years. I mean, it's amazing when

1014
00:44:56,239 --> 00:44:58,719
Speaker 2: we really look back at how far we've come, man,

1015
00:44:59,560 --> 00:45:02,399
Speaker 2: from the apartment days and trying to find ways out

1016
00:45:02,480 --> 00:45:02,759
Speaker 2: of there.

1017
00:45:03,280 --> 00:45:05,880
Speaker 1: I mean, it was all it was all a consistent

1018
00:45:06,600 --> 00:45:10,640
Speaker 1: process of small progress over the years that when you

1019
00:45:10,760 --> 00:45:12,680
Speaker 1: look back at it now, it was just like it

1020
00:45:12,840 --> 00:45:15,919
Speaker 1: was thirteen years we spent in that apartment, but every

1021
00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:17,640
Speaker 1: year when you looked at it, you wouldn't have thought

1022
00:45:17,680 --> 00:45:20,279
Speaker 1: the progress was that much. But now looking back on

1023
00:45:20,360 --> 00:45:22,719
Speaker 1: the thirteen year progress come along.

1024
00:45:22,520 --> 00:45:25,200
Speaker 2: With that is a shout out to you, because I

1025
00:45:25,480 --> 00:45:28,160
Speaker 2: could not see the bigger picture. And again just growing

1026
00:45:28,280 --> 00:45:31,000
Speaker 2: up in my household and seeing my parents' relationships with money,

1027
00:45:31,080 --> 00:45:33,799
Speaker 2: like they would just encourage working because that my parents

1028
00:45:33,840 --> 00:45:37,640
Speaker 2: weren't works, hard workers, but also saving and that was it.

1029
00:45:37,760 --> 00:45:39,759
Speaker 2: It's just having the money there so you could see it.

1030
00:45:40,280 --> 00:45:42,800
Speaker 2: But you had a little bit more business acumen and

1031
00:45:42,920 --> 00:45:45,040
Speaker 2: you were willing to take more risks. And here we are,

1032
00:45:45,280 --> 00:45:48,320
Speaker 2: so amazing, amazing time. All right, let's jump into this

1033
00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:50,000
Speaker 2: listening letter. We're going to do one today because this

1034
00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:53,360
Speaker 2: one seems kind of long, so we can unpack a

1035
00:45:53,440 --> 00:45:55,759
Speaker 2: couple of things here. I'll go ahead and read. Go ahead, baby,

1036
00:45:55,880 --> 00:45:58,759
Speaker 2: it's cool, all right, Hey, cuttin a daval. I hope

1037
00:45:58,800 --> 00:46:01,760
Speaker 2: this email finds you as well as in your families

1038
00:46:01,760 --> 00:46:04,600
Speaker 2: as well. I am a huge fan of both of y'all,

1039
00:46:04,680 --> 00:46:06,440
Speaker 2: all the way from London Town.

1040
00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:07,239
Speaker 6: In the UK.

1041
00:46:07,520 --> 00:46:08,759
Speaker 3: That is dope. I got to get there. We got

1042
00:46:08,840 --> 00:46:09,359
Speaker 3: to get there, a baby.

1043
00:46:09,360 --> 00:46:11,520
Speaker 2: We haven't been to London yet, but thank you for

1044
00:46:11,600 --> 00:46:13,640
Speaker 2: being a fan of ours all the way across the sea.

1045
00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:17,759
Speaker 2: My husband and I have been married for six years together. Well,

1046
00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:20,759
Speaker 2: we've been married for six years together for sixteen. I'm

1047
00:46:20,880 --> 00:46:25,120
Speaker 2: thirty two, my husband is thirty three. I'm an aries

1048
00:46:25,160 --> 00:46:28,360
Speaker 2: and he's a Sagittarius. We're flipped, all right, flipped, and

1049
00:46:28,480 --> 00:46:31,520
Speaker 2: our relationship has been a very similar dynamic to that

1050
00:46:31,719 --> 00:46:35,120
Speaker 2: of y'all's. We have three children, one boy and two girls,

1051
00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:37,040
Speaker 2: ages eleven, seven and three.

1052
00:46:37,200 --> 00:46:37,919
Speaker 1: Every four years.

1053
00:46:38,840 --> 00:46:41,000
Speaker 2: I love that it's kind of similar to us well,

1054
00:46:41,120 --> 00:46:46,279
Speaker 2: with the exception of the back to backs for sure. Anyway, y'all,

1055
00:46:46,520 --> 00:46:48,640
Speaker 2: let me get to the point. Over the years, my

1056
00:46:48,680 --> 00:46:52,160
Speaker 2: husband and I have suffered financially, and to be frankly honest,

1057
00:46:52,640 --> 00:46:55,279
Speaker 2: it was mostly due to my immaturity at the time.

1058
00:46:55,560 --> 00:46:59,359
Speaker 2: Like Kadeen, like me, Like Kadeen, I wanted the wedding

1059
00:46:59,440 --> 00:47:03,600
Speaker 2: over everything. I understandsis. In my defense, we had been

1060
00:47:03,640 --> 00:47:07,239
Speaker 2: engaged for ten years and your girl was tied with

1061
00:47:07,360 --> 00:47:11,040
Speaker 2: a lot of a's. We had close to zero family support.

1062
00:47:11,160 --> 00:47:14,239
Speaker 2: It honestly feels like finances never ever seem to get better,

1063
00:47:14,320 --> 00:47:16,680
Speaker 2: even though my husband is very frugal with money and

1064
00:47:16,840 --> 00:47:20,279
Speaker 2: saves everything for a rainy day. I, on the other hand,

1065
00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:22,600
Speaker 2: appreciate that life is very short and I don't want

1066
00:47:22,640 --> 00:47:26,560
Speaker 2: to just be existing and not have lived. I've worked three,

1067
00:47:26,719 --> 00:47:29,399
Speaker 2: sometimes four jobs at a time in order to help,

1068
00:47:29,520 --> 00:47:31,840
Speaker 2: but my husband always says it's more of a detriment

1069
00:47:32,520 --> 00:47:35,560
Speaker 2: than a help because something is always falling by the wayside.

1070
00:47:35,960 --> 00:47:40,120
Speaker 2: My husband works extremely in capital letters hard to provide

1071
00:47:40,160 --> 00:47:42,239
Speaker 2: for our family and says that he does not feel

1072
00:47:42,280 --> 00:47:45,880
Speaker 2: respected because I had had I because had I listened

1073
00:47:45,920 --> 00:47:48,560
Speaker 2: and followed his path, we would not be struggling right now.

1074
00:47:49,239 --> 00:47:49,600
Speaker 3: Currently.

1075
00:47:49,680 --> 00:47:53,680
Speaker 2: My husband is totally unmotivated and defeated. I know my

1076
00:47:53,800 --> 00:47:56,799
Speaker 2: choices in the past haven't helped, but I really don't

1077
00:47:56,880 --> 00:47:58,719
Speaker 2: know what to do to get out of death and

1078
00:47:58,880 --> 00:48:02,160
Speaker 2: help my man feel more motivated again. It really depresses

1079
00:48:02,239 --> 00:48:04,680
Speaker 2: me to see him down and out, because outside of

1080
00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:07,080
Speaker 2: him being my husband, I care about him and his

1081
00:48:07,239 --> 00:48:10,840
Speaker 2: dreams as a human being, and he deserves happiness. What

1082
00:48:11,000 --> 00:48:13,319
Speaker 2: can I do, y'all? I'm out of hope and out

1083
00:48:13,320 --> 00:48:15,480
Speaker 2: of answer. Is signed a desperate wife trying to get

1084
00:48:15,520 --> 00:48:18,680
Speaker 2: that old thing back. That was really really sweet.

1085
00:48:20,120 --> 00:48:23,279
Speaker 1: First thing I want to do is acknowledge her taking accountability. Yes,

1086
00:48:23,800 --> 00:48:25,680
Speaker 1: like just taking accountability and saying, you know what, I

1087
00:48:25,800 --> 00:48:29,600
Speaker 1: was immature, Yes, I'm the reason why we're here. We

1088
00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:32,040
Speaker 1: don't hear that often from a lot of people, men

1089
00:48:32,120 --> 00:48:35,480
Speaker 1: and women. Most people don't like taking it. They blame Yeah,

1090
00:48:36,040 --> 00:48:37,279
Speaker 1: I just want to point this out right.

1091
00:48:37,360 --> 00:48:39,239
Speaker 2: And she gave her husband his flowers and said that

1092
00:48:39,400 --> 00:48:41,600
Speaker 2: you know, he's tried, He's tried a lot.

1093
00:48:42,320 --> 00:48:44,440
Speaker 1: I want to take this time to point this out.

1094
00:48:45,000 --> 00:48:46,480
Speaker 1: We had a young lady at one of the live

1095
00:48:46,560 --> 00:48:50,000
Speaker 1: shows point out that her boyfriend needs to share to

1096
00:48:50,040 --> 00:48:53,040
Speaker 1: get off the pot in three years and whole bunch

1097
00:48:53,040 --> 00:48:56,120
Speaker 1: of all this stuff. I asked her, remember what type

1098
00:48:56,120 --> 00:48:58,520
Speaker 1: of rings she wanted? She says, she wanted three carrot rings.

1099
00:48:58,520 --> 00:49:00,759
Speaker 1: She wanted all this other stuff, right. I want to

1100
00:49:00,800 --> 00:49:06,360
Speaker 1: point out that this is why men struggle sometime with

1101
00:49:06,480 --> 00:49:09,839
Speaker 1: the right time to getting married. You love a woman,

1102
00:49:10,040 --> 00:49:12,840
Speaker 1: you want to give that woman everything in life she

1103
00:49:13,040 --> 00:49:17,080
Speaker 1: desires because you love her, and that woman deserves everything

1104
00:49:17,120 --> 00:49:20,399
Speaker 1: in life she desires. But there are times when as

1105
00:49:20,440 --> 00:49:23,160
Speaker 1: a man, you just aren't in a good financial place

1106
00:49:23,239 --> 00:49:26,680
Speaker 1: to provide that. And I know that ten year engagement

1107
00:49:26,880 --> 00:49:30,360
Speaker 1: might have been long and tired, but now you married

1108
00:49:30,400 --> 00:49:32,720
Speaker 1: and you got everything you wanted, and now this marriage

1109
00:49:33,000 --> 00:49:36,200
Speaker 1: is long and tired. Yeah, And sometimes we as people

1110
00:49:36,280 --> 00:49:38,480
Speaker 1: need to realize And this is going to go in

1111
00:49:38,640 --> 00:49:42,640
Speaker 1: line with what Tiffany was talking about. Sacrificing now so

1112
00:49:42,760 --> 00:49:44,640
Speaker 1: we can live the way we want to live later

1113
00:49:44,760 --> 00:49:49,880
Speaker 1: on is paramount, but also not sacrificing your happiness in

1114
00:49:49,960 --> 00:49:52,759
Speaker 1: the present day. And this message is to a lot

1115
00:49:52,800 --> 00:49:54,360
Speaker 1: of young men or older men who are looking to

1116
00:49:54,400 --> 00:49:57,760
Speaker 1: get married. Oh for sure, this marriage is This message

1117
00:49:57,840 --> 00:50:00,640
Speaker 1: is for you. I'm going to speak from a man's personspective, right,

1118
00:50:02,719 --> 00:50:05,400
Speaker 1: it isn't fair for you to tell you're a woman

1119
00:50:05,920 --> 00:50:08,560
Speaker 1: that you want to marry or significant other, you gotta

1120
00:50:08,600 --> 00:50:12,600
Speaker 1: wait till it's my time. Financially, we as a community

1121
00:50:12,760 --> 00:50:17,279
Speaker 1: have to collectively find a way to do both give

1122
00:50:17,400 --> 00:50:20,480
Speaker 1: the person you love what they desire because you want

1123
00:50:20,520 --> 00:50:23,160
Speaker 1: to provide that, but also plan a life for the future.

1124
00:50:23,360 --> 00:50:25,600
Speaker 1: And there are ways, and that's what we talked about

1125
00:50:25,920 --> 00:50:29,840
Speaker 1: with Tiffany today. Now, what we all have to realize

1126
00:50:29,880 --> 00:50:32,480
Speaker 1: is that no one is entitled to time to your time,

1127
00:50:32,640 --> 00:50:34,879
Speaker 1: So you can't say I want it done on my time.

1128
00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:37,600
Speaker 1: It's gonna take some time. But we also can't tell

1129
00:50:37,800 --> 00:50:40,759
Speaker 1: young ladies, well, you're gonna have to wait on my time.

1130
00:50:41,320 --> 00:50:43,279
Speaker 1: We have to work together. And I feel like if

1131
00:50:43,280 --> 00:50:45,560
Speaker 1: they would have been more communicative about what they wanted

1132
00:50:45,560 --> 00:50:47,840
Speaker 1: from each other, they could have found a way to

1133
00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:50,600
Speaker 1: both get the wedding and get the life they want

1134
00:50:50,760 --> 00:50:54,040
Speaker 1: and not sacrifice. Because now here's the sad part, that

1135
00:50:54,200 --> 00:50:56,440
Speaker 1: resentment that he's not motive he's not motivated, and he

1136
00:50:56,600 --> 00:50:58,440
Speaker 1: keeps saying to her, you know, if you were to

1137
00:50:58,560 --> 00:51:01,920
Speaker 1: just listen to me, and that's not fair to her.

1138
00:51:02,560 --> 00:51:04,399
Speaker 1: That's not fair to her, and it's also not fair

1139
00:51:04,440 --> 00:51:04,920
Speaker 1: to him.

1140
00:51:04,880 --> 00:51:07,120
Speaker 2: Because she's thirty two and then begin together sixteenth, so

1141
00:51:07,360 --> 00:51:09,280
Speaker 2: they've been together since sixteen seventeen.

1142
00:51:09,440 --> 00:51:10,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a long time.

1143
00:51:10,600 --> 00:51:13,080
Speaker 2: That's a long time to be together, to work through

1144
00:51:13,120 --> 00:51:15,120
Speaker 2: those years, Like Devella and I know exactly what it

1145
00:51:15,239 --> 00:51:17,600
Speaker 2: is facts eighteen and nineteen years old, trying to figure

1146
00:51:17,640 --> 00:51:20,000
Speaker 2: things out and thinking that you had things figured out, yes,

1147
00:51:20,200 --> 00:51:22,799
Speaker 2: and also being in that age group where you want

1148
00:51:22,840 --> 00:51:25,280
Speaker 2: the wedding and you feel like at that point you're invincible.

1149
00:51:25,320 --> 00:51:26,839
Speaker 2: Money's always going to be there. We can always make

1150
00:51:26,880 --> 00:51:28,960
Speaker 2: more money. We're young, we're able body, we can do it,

1151
00:51:29,440 --> 00:51:32,759
Speaker 2: but not really realizing how much of a setback that

1152
00:51:32,960 --> 00:51:34,239
Speaker 2: can be or it can be.

1153
00:51:34,800 --> 00:51:37,439
Speaker 1: And we have to as a community of people, start

1154
00:51:37,520 --> 00:51:41,800
Speaker 1: realizing when we're making demands on people what that demand

1155
00:51:41,880 --> 00:51:45,040
Speaker 1: can do to that person, whether it's a young man

1156
00:51:45,160 --> 00:51:48,600
Speaker 1: asking a young woman to wait until I'm ready, or

1157
00:51:48,640 --> 00:51:50,880
Speaker 1: if it's a young woman telling a young man, you

1158
00:51:50,960 --> 00:51:52,920
Speaker 1: got to do this on my time and I'm leaving.

1159
00:51:53,000 --> 00:51:56,319
Speaker 1: We have to stop that conversation. The conversation now has

1160
00:51:56,400 --> 00:51:59,680
Speaker 1: to be how can we collectively build to get what

1161
00:51:59,719 --> 00:52:01,600
Speaker 1: we want one now and get what we want later.

1162
00:52:01,640 --> 00:52:04,800
Speaker 1: And I don't want to leave out our LGBTQ people

1163
00:52:04,840 --> 00:52:07,799
Speaker 1: by saying man a woman, it's partner partner, because because

1164
00:52:07,840 --> 00:52:10,719
Speaker 1: even in those partners, because we have a large contingent

1165
00:52:10,920 --> 00:52:14,480
Speaker 1: of lgbt Q I A plus people who follow us, right,

1166
00:52:14,880 --> 00:52:18,319
Speaker 1: and there's always one that's like And it doesn't matter

1167
00:52:18,440 --> 00:52:21,120
Speaker 1: if it's two men or if it's two women, there's

1168
00:52:21,160 --> 00:52:23,520
Speaker 1: always one that's more fiscally responsible.

1169
00:52:23,520 --> 00:52:26,000
Speaker 3: I think any relationship for sure, yes, And we just.

1170
00:52:26,040 --> 00:52:28,719
Speaker 1: Have to do a better job of collectively having these

1171
00:52:28,840 --> 00:52:33,239
Speaker 1: discussions during the courting process, not after because now they

1172
00:52:33,400 --> 00:52:36,239
Speaker 1: married and got kids and they tired of each other.

1173
00:52:36,960 --> 00:52:40,360
Speaker 3: But if they tired of working and stuff too, But

1174
00:52:40,440 --> 00:52:42,920
Speaker 3: trust me, I had those moments. We were tired of

1175
00:52:43,000 --> 00:52:43,279
Speaker 3: each other.

1176
00:52:43,360 --> 00:52:45,960
Speaker 2: We told y'all our first five years of marriage a

1177
00:52:46,160 --> 00:52:49,360
Speaker 2: hot mess because we had a baby, we had the wedding.

1178
00:52:49,880 --> 00:52:51,200
Speaker 2: I thought we were going to have the wedding in

1179
00:52:51,239 --> 00:52:53,440
Speaker 2: all the houses, but instead we had the properties that

1180
00:52:53,560 --> 00:52:55,880
Speaker 2: work in other states that we were trying to keep afloat.

1181
00:52:56,200 --> 00:52:58,400
Speaker 2: I was working long hours in retail. De Val was

1182
00:52:58,440 --> 00:53:01,239
Speaker 2: working NonStop at the gym. There were just I think

1183
00:53:01,360 --> 00:53:04,080
Speaker 2: every couple, especially being together for that long period of

1184
00:53:04,200 --> 00:53:08,040
Speaker 2: time and as teenagers growing together, you just make dumb

1185
00:53:08,120 --> 00:53:11,920
Speaker 2: ass mistakes and dumb ass decisions and they're all lessons,

1186
00:53:11,960 --> 00:53:14,080
Speaker 2: they're all learning, and it's just how you come out

1187
00:53:14,120 --> 00:53:16,320
Speaker 2: on top after that. But I love says that you

1188
00:53:16,480 --> 00:53:19,440
Speaker 2: are acknowledging, you know, your issue in this. I love

1189
00:53:19,520 --> 00:53:22,400
Speaker 2: that you are so devoted and committed to your husband

1190
00:53:22,480 --> 00:53:25,000
Speaker 2: and his happiness, like you said, as a human being.

1191
00:53:25,520 --> 00:53:27,279
Speaker 2: Like reading the end of that almost made me kind

1192
00:53:27,280 --> 00:53:30,280
Speaker 2: of emotional because that's how I felt in those moments

1193
00:53:30,360 --> 00:53:32,319
Speaker 2: with Devo, where I saw he was busting his ass

1194
00:53:32,400 --> 00:53:33,800
Speaker 2: day in and day out, and then he's just like,

1195
00:53:34,160 --> 00:53:36,560
Speaker 2: you're still not doing the right things to get us

1196
00:53:36,600 --> 00:53:40,600
Speaker 2: in a financially, you know, comfortable space, and at some

1197
00:53:40,719 --> 00:53:43,040
Speaker 2: point something had to give and it really just required

1198
00:53:43,080 --> 00:53:44,719
Speaker 2: us to break things down again.

1199
00:53:44,760 --> 00:53:46,560
Speaker 3: I think one of our early YouTube videos we did

1200
00:53:46,719 --> 00:53:47,560
Speaker 3: was a budget.

1201
00:53:47,320 --> 00:53:50,560
Speaker 1: Episode and they got over two hundred thousand years at

1202
00:53:50,560 --> 00:53:52,520
Speaker 1: the time we only had about six thousand.

1203
00:53:53,160 --> 00:53:56,120
Speaker 2: It was like subscribers, Yeah, but so many people saw

1204
00:53:56,200 --> 00:53:57,800
Speaker 2: it because at some point it has to click, and

1205
00:53:57,880 --> 00:53:59,960
Speaker 2: it's just like, Okay, let's go back to the basis.

1206
00:54:00,280 --> 00:54:02,640
Speaker 2: Let's go back to what we're both willing to do,

1207
00:54:02,840 --> 00:54:05,399
Speaker 2: how much money is coming in. Looking at it from

1208
00:54:05,440 --> 00:54:08,239
Speaker 2: this perspective where Tiffany talked about the book you know

1209
00:54:08,640 --> 00:54:11,439
Speaker 2: made whole, the first thing was the budget. Not looking

1210
00:54:11,480 --> 00:54:13,960
Speaker 2: at it as ways to restrict each other further, but

1211
00:54:14,120 --> 00:54:16,360
Speaker 2: ways to be able to make little sacrifices so you

1212
00:54:16,440 --> 00:54:18,640
Speaker 2: can do what you want to do. So continue to

1213
00:54:18,719 --> 00:54:21,480
Speaker 2: have the conversation with your husband. I hope that you've

1214
00:54:21,520 --> 00:54:25,160
Speaker 2: also expressed this to him, your investment in him and

1215
00:54:25,280 --> 00:54:27,480
Speaker 2: his happiness and you guys's financial future.

1216
00:54:27,800 --> 00:54:31,319
Speaker 1: Well, she asked, how can she get that old thing back?

1217
00:54:31,360 --> 00:54:33,320
Speaker 1: The first thing I would do is do what you

1218
00:54:33,440 --> 00:54:37,239
Speaker 1: did express and say to him and I diagnowledged that

1219
00:54:37,280 --> 00:54:40,120
Speaker 1: there was some mistakes I made. Ask him how he

1220
00:54:40,360 --> 00:54:43,880
Speaker 1: thinks it can be changed for them moving forward, and

1221
00:54:43,920 --> 00:54:47,239
Speaker 1: then work collectively, both of you, because it's not just

1222
00:54:47,480 --> 00:54:48,440
Speaker 1: work on one side.

1223
00:54:48,760 --> 00:54:49,080
Speaker 3: For sure.

1224
00:54:49,320 --> 00:54:51,359
Speaker 1: You can't do all the work yourself now and take

1225
00:54:51,440 --> 00:54:53,920
Speaker 1: all the blame. No, Because here's the truth, right, and

1226
00:54:53,960 --> 00:54:56,120
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say this, and it may ruffle some feathers,

1227
00:54:56,680 --> 00:54:59,400
Speaker 1: he's still a blame too, even though it was your decisions,

1228
00:54:59,440 --> 00:55:01,600
Speaker 1: because he could have at any point said I can't

1229
00:55:01,600 --> 00:55:05,080
Speaker 1: do yes, and that's why. And I feel like that's

1230
00:55:05,120 --> 00:55:06,839
Speaker 1: part of the reason why Kadeen and I were able

1231
00:55:06,880 --> 00:55:09,719
Speaker 1: to make a turn, because I stopped blaming her for

1232
00:55:09,880 --> 00:55:12,320
Speaker 1: our financial decisions and started saying, Okay, you know what,

1233
00:55:13,320 --> 00:55:15,360
Speaker 1: I did. Concede to do it because I wanted to

1234
00:55:15,360 --> 00:55:17,359
Speaker 1: see her happy and smiling. And my ego was part

1235
00:55:17,400 --> 00:55:19,120
Speaker 1: of the reason too why I wanted to get for

1236
00:55:19,239 --> 00:55:22,440
Speaker 1: these things. So yes, once I stopped blaming her and

1237
00:55:22,480 --> 00:55:25,680
Speaker 1: stopped self loathing, she and I got on a plan together.

1238
00:55:25,880 --> 00:55:28,719
Speaker 3: Right, We've both done things different. Yes, yes, for sure.

1239
00:55:28,920 --> 00:55:31,080
Speaker 1: Continue to speak to him, ask him how he feels,

1240
00:55:31,400 --> 00:55:34,320
Speaker 1: ask him what he needs. When he tells you, listen,

1241
00:55:35,000 --> 00:55:37,080
Speaker 1: but also express to him that you're willing to be

1242
00:55:37,160 --> 00:55:39,600
Speaker 1: a participant to make you guys move forward, and y'all

1243
00:55:39,680 --> 00:55:41,400
Speaker 1: just work together and know what's not going to happen

1244
00:55:41,680 --> 00:55:44,000
Speaker 1: next week. You know what I'm saying, Give yourselves a

1245
00:55:44,040 --> 00:55:46,440
Speaker 1: five year plan and say let's move ourselves out of

1246
00:55:46,480 --> 00:55:47,440
Speaker 1: this in five.

1247
00:55:47,320 --> 00:55:49,399
Speaker 2: Years, absolutely, and go ahead and get made whole because

1248
00:55:49,400 --> 00:55:51,080
Speaker 2: I know Devala and I took a lot of really

1249
00:55:51,080 --> 00:55:53,800
Speaker 2: good tips from tip actually on and that might be

1250
00:55:53,840 --> 00:55:55,800
Speaker 2: a good way to just kind of start and bond

1251
00:55:55,920 --> 00:55:58,600
Speaker 2: over it and you know, talk about the positive things

1252
00:55:58,640 --> 00:56:00,440
Speaker 2: that you guys can do with your your money and

1253
00:56:00,480 --> 00:56:02,360
Speaker 2: your financial situations enough.

1254
00:56:02,200 --> 00:56:04,560
Speaker 1: To get good with money. Was that's a good find,

1255
00:56:04,719 --> 00:56:06,840
Speaker 1: like a good foundation to start with, get good with

1256
00:56:06,920 --> 00:56:10,560
Speaker 1: money and then get made whole. Her principles really do

1257
00:56:11,640 --> 00:56:15,200
Speaker 1: Kadeen and I have grown our family and our finances

1258
00:56:15,680 --> 00:56:18,000
Speaker 1: following some of the same principles.

1259
00:56:18,120 --> 00:56:20,600
Speaker 2: Yep. Absolutely all right, y'all, If you want to be

1260
00:56:20,640 --> 00:56:23,759
Speaker 2: featured as a listener letter, be sure to email us

1261
00:56:23,920 --> 00:56:26,080
Speaker 2: at dead ass Advice at gmail dot com. And I

1262
00:56:26,120 --> 00:56:28,279
Speaker 2: know I tease y'all about y'all long dissertations now, but

1263
00:56:28,400 --> 00:56:31,040
Speaker 2: we love it because they gives the contexture because we

1264
00:56:31,080 --> 00:56:32,719
Speaker 2: usually still have questions even after that.

1265
00:56:32,880 --> 00:56:35,000
Speaker 3: But keep writing in. We love to hear from you guys.

1266
00:56:35,280 --> 00:56:37,320
Speaker 1: Yes, that's D E A D A S S A

1267
00:56:37,520 --> 00:56:40,640
Speaker 1: D V I C E at gmail dot com.

1268
00:56:41,120 --> 00:56:42,479
Speaker 3: All right, moment of truth time.

1269
00:56:43,120 --> 00:56:45,719
Speaker 2: I think my takeaway from this whole thing and talking

1270
00:56:45,800 --> 00:56:48,959
Speaker 2: to Tiffany and you and just thinking about my entire

1271
00:56:49,080 --> 00:56:52,000
Speaker 2: mindset when it comes to just finances and budgeting and

1272
00:56:52,080 --> 00:56:57,000
Speaker 2: all that is that the discipline involved in it. What

1273
00:56:57,200 --> 00:57:00,640
Speaker 2: seems like a boundary is not in the necessarily that

1274
00:57:01,160 --> 00:57:03,440
Speaker 2: it's just me putting myself in a position to do

1275
00:57:03,560 --> 00:57:05,759
Speaker 2: the things that I really want to do, and it

1276
00:57:05,880 --> 00:57:08,560
Speaker 2: forces me to live in a space where I'm really

1277
00:57:08,680 --> 00:57:11,879
Speaker 2: assessing the things that I really need versus the things

1278
00:57:11,920 --> 00:57:14,279
Speaker 2: that I want to do or need to do, and

1279
00:57:15,040 --> 00:57:16,960
Speaker 2: what's required for me to get that.

1280
00:57:17,280 --> 00:57:20,479
Speaker 3: So discipline, like we said, structure, those are.

1281
00:57:20,440 --> 00:57:22,960
Speaker 2: All words that typically have a negative connotation and you

1282
00:57:23,120 --> 00:57:26,360
Speaker 2: feel restrained and limited, but really it's a way for

1283
00:57:26,440 --> 00:57:28,800
Speaker 2: you to gain freedom over your life and your time

1284
00:57:28,840 --> 00:57:31,360
Speaker 2: because ultimately that's the goal for me at least, is

1285
00:57:31,440 --> 00:57:34,200
Speaker 2: to have autonomy over my time, to be able to

1286
00:57:34,240 --> 00:57:36,200
Speaker 2: do the things I want to do because I have

1287
00:57:36,320 --> 00:57:37,560
Speaker 2: the financial freedom to do that.

1288
00:57:38,240 --> 00:57:42,800
Speaker 1: Facts, I believe that Tiffany opened up something to me

1289
00:57:42,960 --> 00:57:47,400
Speaker 1: today met my mind thinking about it. Okay, right, you

1290
00:57:47,520 --> 00:57:50,240
Speaker 1: know how we went on a diet, but while we

1291
00:57:50,320 --> 00:57:54,080
Speaker 1: were on the quote unquote diet, we had cheat meals,

1292
00:57:54,840 --> 00:57:57,480
Speaker 1: so it really wasn't a crash diet. It was more

1293
00:57:57,520 --> 00:58:00,480
Speaker 1: like a lifestyle change, moderation so that we can enjoy

1294
00:58:00,560 --> 00:58:02,400
Speaker 1: our life while losing the weight to get to the

1295
00:58:02,440 --> 00:58:04,400
Speaker 1: goal we want to get to in the future. Why

1296
00:58:04,480 --> 00:58:07,600
Speaker 1: can't we do the same thing with finances. I like that,

1297
00:58:07,720 --> 00:58:10,200
Speaker 1: You see what I'm saying. It doesn't have to be

1298
00:58:10,400 --> 00:58:13,800
Speaker 1: a crash diet of finances. Let me say fifty thousand

1299
00:58:13,840 --> 00:58:16,160
Speaker 1: dollars in a year. No, you can still have your

1300
00:58:16,200 --> 00:58:19,840
Speaker 1: cheap meals, you can still enjoy your time, but know

1301
00:58:19,960 --> 00:58:22,440
Speaker 1: that there's a plan down the line. Because if I'm

1302
00:58:22,480 --> 00:58:24,360
Speaker 1: being honest with you, guys, that's what Kadeen and I did.

1303
00:58:24,720 --> 00:58:27,840
Speaker 1: Even though we were broke and we weren't doing all

1304
00:58:27,880 --> 00:58:31,160
Speaker 1: the things we wanted to do, we still enjoyed our

1305
00:58:31,360 --> 00:58:34,200
Speaker 1: life while we were building what we've built so far,

1306
00:58:34,600 --> 00:58:37,840
Speaker 1: and we're still enjoying our life while we're continuing to

1307
00:58:37,920 --> 00:58:39,680
Speaker 1: build to where we want to go. Because the way

1308
00:58:39,760 --> 00:58:41,760
Speaker 1: you see us now is not the way we want

1309
00:58:41,760 --> 00:58:43,920
Speaker 1: to spend the rest of our lives. We want to

1310
00:58:43,960 --> 00:58:46,680
Speaker 1: be able to accrue more and gain access to more

1311
00:58:46,800 --> 00:58:48,640
Speaker 1: so we can give more to our kids. But that

1312
00:58:48,720 --> 00:58:51,120
Speaker 1: doesn't mean we're going to sacrifice all of our happiness now.

1313
00:58:51,320 --> 00:58:53,120
Speaker 3: That is a whole fact. I love that.

1314
00:58:53,240 --> 00:58:55,360
Speaker 2: I love that analogy that's perfect puts in a really

1315
00:58:55,400 --> 00:59:00,520
Speaker 2: good perspective too, because man listen sometimes on them diet days. Baby,

1316
00:59:00,880 --> 00:59:02,640
Speaker 2: I was ready to crash, but you know, having the

1317
00:59:02,640 --> 00:59:04,720
Speaker 2: little cheat meals here and there definitely helps to kind

1318
00:59:04,760 --> 00:59:08,480
Speaker 2: of lessen the blow. All right, y'all, be sure to

1319
00:59:08,680 --> 00:59:11,800
Speaker 2: sign up for Patreon and subscribe so you can get

1320
00:59:11,880 --> 00:59:16,080
Speaker 2: more exclusive dead Ass podcast content, more Ellis family content

1321
00:59:16,160 --> 00:59:18,600
Speaker 2: as well, and you can find us on social media

1322
00:59:18,720 --> 00:59:20,560
Speaker 2: at dead Ass the Podcasts.

1323
00:59:20,840 --> 00:59:22,800
Speaker 3: You can find me on my personal page Codeine I

1324
00:59:22,880 --> 00:59:23,880
Speaker 3: Am and I Am Devout.

1325
00:59:23,880 --> 00:59:27,800
Speaker 1: And if you're listening on Apple podcasts, be sure to rate, review, subscribe,

1326
00:59:27,920 --> 00:59:30,760
Speaker 1: and get your copy of We Over Me, The Counterintuitive

1327
00:59:30,760 --> 00:59:34,680
Speaker 1: Approach to getting everything you want out of your relationships shit.

1328
00:59:34,960 --> 00:59:37,479
Speaker 2: Perfect time with the holidays coming up, y'all is giving

1329
00:59:37,560 --> 00:59:40,440
Speaker 2: stocking stuffers, go ahead and get your book now.

1330
00:59:40,520 --> 00:59:42,439
Speaker 3: All right, y'all, run it up, dead Ass.

1331
00:59:43,720 --> 00:59:46,760
Speaker 4: Dead Ass is a production of iHeartMedia podcast Network and

1332
00:59:46,800 --> 00:59:50,360
Speaker 4: it's produced by Donor, Opinia and Triple Follow the podcast

1333
00:59:50,440 --> 00:59:53,040
Speaker 4: on social media at dead Ass the Podcast and never

1334
00:59:53,120 --> 00:59:53,600
Speaker 4: miss a Thing