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Speaker 1: Most of the time when people ask us to do

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Speaker 1: prank calls, they say their friend has a really short

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Speaker 1: temper about X, or their uncle is really irritable about

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Speaker 1: Why what do we do when we're asked to prank

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Speaker 1: a really nice guy who's very mellow and level headed

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Speaker 1: about everything, not normally, But they asked us to sure

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Speaker 1: we could say we detained his grandmother. Then what are

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Speaker 1: we supposed to do when he's still being kind and

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Speaker 1: reasonable about it? So I understand maybe I took it

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Speaker 1: possibly too far this time?

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Speaker 2: Already? Did you break someone?

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Speaker 1: This probably is going to be the last time this

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Speaker 1: phone tap ever airs before finds out about it. But

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Speaker 1: enjoy it while you can. It's your phone.

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Speaker 2: Tap right now. The twenties.

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Speaker 1: Hello, Hey, I'm looking for Gary.

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Speaker 2: This is him, they ask, she's calling?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, my name is Max. I'm the owner of the

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Speaker 1: cafe on sixth Street, and I have your grandma. Wait

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Speaker 1: what grandma Josie? She's here? Oh and I don't know

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Speaker 1: if you know this, but she comes into our cafe

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Speaker 1: quite a bit for breakfast, so just kind of a regular.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Well, what can I do for you? How can

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Speaker 2: I help you?

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Speaker 1: Well, unfortunately, today one of our waitresses spotted your grandma

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Speaker 1: shoving a handful of sweet and Lows into her old

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Speaker 1: lady purse. I was trying to make a run for it.

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Speaker 2: Aren't those free? I'm pretty sure you guys just will

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Speaker 2: leave him out for people.

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Speaker 1: Right, Normally that wouldn't be a huge deal, but we

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Speaker 1: forced her to open up her bag and it was

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Speaker 1: filled with tiny condiment packages from all over the city.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I'm that would make sense.

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Speaker 1: I mean, Grandma, oh, that would make your You know

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Speaker 1: about that, You're cool with that.

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Speaker 2: I mean, she's always all grown up. She's always had

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Speaker 2: like condom a packets and stuff we at her house.

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Speaker 1: But clearly your granny gets off on this sort of

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Speaker 1: thing because there's mustard packets in there, mayonnaise, even just

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Speaker 1: some loose honey in a ziplock bag.

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Speaker 2: She does love her honey, That's why she probably separated it.

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Speaker 2: That's weird, you.

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Speaker 1: Think, dum, Sorry, you think this is funny. She's not

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Speaker 1: stealing from restaurants.

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Speaker 2: Well, I don't know that's true. I mean, how could

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Speaker 2: you be feeling when they're things that you're allowed to take.

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Speaker 1: She's not allowed to grab like fifty sweet and lows

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Speaker 1: and toss it in her bag. She's allowed to use

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Speaker 1: a couple and use them at the table.

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Speaker 2: So wait, how do you even get my number? Like?

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Speaker 2: Did she my grandma give you my number?

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Speaker 1: Yes, she gave me your number after I zip tighter

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Speaker 1: to the grill in the back.

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Speaker 2: What you gip tighter to the grill?

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Speaker 1: That's yeah, okay, I had no choice.

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Speaker 2: Let me speak to my grandma right now.

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Speaker 1: I can't do that right now because last time I

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Speaker 1: tried to get close to her, she bit me.

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Speaker 2: What bit you?

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Speaker 1: It was probably my fault, honestly, because I had some

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Speaker 1: barbecue sauce on my hand and I should have known

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Speaker 1: better than to get close to a condiment crusher like Josie.

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Speaker 1: But we need to figure out what to do here.

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Speaker 2: What do you mean what to do? Let my grandma

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Speaker 2: go before I called the police on your store, and

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Speaker 2: have you got rested?

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Speaker 1: I think you're misunderstanding who's the criminal here?

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Speaker 2: Misunderstanding the definition of kidnapping? Sir? What did you say

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Speaker 2: your name was?

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Speaker 1: You don't have to worry about your grandma. She's fine.

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Speaker 1: We're feeding her packets of maple syrup.

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Speaker 2: That's not what Grandma Ice number one I told.

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Speaker 1: You if you like honey, Okay, I hear what's going

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Speaker 1: on here. You must be one of them liberals. What Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you just want to let You want to let the

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Speaker 1: criminals out of jail and run the whole city, don't

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Speaker 1: you that'd be better society in your mind?

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Speaker 2: How dare you speak to me like that? Okay? And you, how.

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Speaker 1: Dare your grandma come to my cafe and steal my

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Speaker 1: sweet and low?

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Speaker 2: I'm about to steal your face if you keep talking

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Speaker 2: to me like this, I'm about.

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Speaker 1: Why don't you come down to my cafe, I'll slug

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Speaker 1: you right in the face.

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Speaker 2: Go ahead, I dare you?

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Speaker 1: Liberal?

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Speaker 2: What are you?

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Speaker 1: You probably want me to get wrapped the cash register

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Speaker 1: and hand it to your grandma on the way out

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Speaker 1: of the store.

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Speaker 2: Huh. I need to chill the out. You're obviously going

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Speaker 2: through something.

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Speaker 1: Oh I'm chill.

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Speaker 2: We're talking about an eighty five year old grandma right

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Speaker 2: now with a criminals like a criminal. Yeah, okay, I

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Speaker 2: have some mine come down there in jip time you

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Speaker 2: or something? Oh, where to God?

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Speaker 1: Don't get kinky with me, guy, I'm not into that stuff.

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Speaker 2: I cannot believe you, Honestly.

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Speaker 1: I can't believe you, and I can't believe your brother

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Speaker 1: Bill either. What he said that you are a level

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Speaker 1: headed guy, not some uptight liberal with a zip tie fetish.

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Speaker 2: Now you're talking about my brother Bill.

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Speaker 1: Why Bill's Bill's on his way down to the cafe already.

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Speaker 1: He says he's gonna help me throw your sweet old

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Speaker 1: granny in the slammer right after I tell you it's

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Speaker 1: a prank call.

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Speaker 2: Bill would never do. Wait wait a minute, Oh, now

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Speaker 2: you hear me.

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Speaker 1: You finally get those by out to gradable straws out

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Speaker 1: of your ears. What my name is Jeff from the

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Speaker 1: radio show Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. Are you

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Speaker 1: serious we're doing a phone tap on you.

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Speaker 2: I was literally like about to have a heart attack.

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Speaker 2: I sure.

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Speaker 1: Gotten question is do you do you use you? Do

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Speaker 1: you want me to let your grandma go? Or should

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Speaker 1: she just stay tied up.

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Speaker 2: For a while? You know, I'm literally getting off the

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Speaker 2: phone Colin Dyll like twenty five seconds if he doesn't answer,

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Speaker 2: coming straight down to whatever damn coffee shop you just said.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I'll have the zip tides ready for both of us.

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Speaker 1: That's what us freaky liberals do, not.

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Speaker 2: Okay, you're individual week up every morning with phone taps

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Speaker 2: weekday mornings on the twenties, Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning,