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Speaker 1: Hi.

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Speaker 2: What's your name.

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Speaker 1: My name is Malachi.

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Speaker 2: Malachi. What's up? Malachi has life?

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Speaker 1: Dude? Life is nuts. I this is weird.

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Speaker 3: I told myself I wouldn't be nervous, but you always say,

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Speaker 3: don't be nervous, and it's just a it's just a geck.

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Speaker 2: So the central nervous system does not The central nervous

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Speaker 2: system does not respond to logic. Only instinct.

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Speaker 1: Makes sense.

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Speaker 2: It's okay, it's instincts will eventually catch up to the logic.

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Speaker 2: It just takes a second. What's up, man? What's nuts?

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Speaker 1: Dude?

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Speaker 3: I've been dealing with I know you on your podcast

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Speaker 3: recently have been dealing with a lot of like existential dread. Sure,

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Speaker 3: And I have a perophobia. I don't know if you

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Speaker 3: know that is like a it's a fear of eternity.

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Speaker 3: And so I know you don't necessarily have, like you

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Speaker 3: say that you're not really spiritual or really believe in

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Speaker 3: a whole lot. But I'm a Christian, and so it's

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Speaker 3: weird for me because it's like the idea of what's

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Speaker 3: supposed to be my spiritual inheritance, you know, is like

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Speaker 3: the most terrifying thing to me. So it's something strange.

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Speaker 3: I've been battling for since I was like a kid.

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Speaker 3: And yeah, I.

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Speaker 2: Guess that's it interesting. Okay, So tell me what you

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Speaker 2: believe as a Christian? Is your spiritual inheritance?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, well I believe when I die obviously, if you

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Speaker 3: believe that Jesus Christ died in the cross and came

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Speaker 3: back to life and you, I mean, repentance is its

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Speaker 3: own thing within that, but that you would be able

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Speaker 3: to live an eternity forever with you know, Jesus and

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Speaker 3: everyone else that debth. And so I guess for me,

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Speaker 3: it's just like it's weird. I'll be sitting there and

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Speaker 3: I'll think of like, oh, well, it's one million years.

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Speaker 3: You know, you're you're there for one million years, and

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Speaker 3: it's like, oh, well, it's not just that you're there

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Speaker 3: for two million and three million and four million and

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Speaker 3: five million, and so it's like, I don't know if

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Speaker 3: it's like a weird OCD thing, but I'll start snapping

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Speaker 3: where I'm just I'll be like, oh, every snap is

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Speaker 3: a billion years, and it will pull me into like

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Speaker 3: almost full panic mode where I'm like my wife will

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Speaker 3: be sitting there, She's like are you okay? And I'm like, yeah,

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Speaker 3: I'm freaking out, but it's weird. And then I'll I've

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Speaker 3: been smoking recently to try and kind of combat it,

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Speaker 3: but it's sometimes made it worse, almost like more paranoid.

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Speaker 2: Right, how old are you. I'm twenty three, and you've

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Speaker 2: had this fear for your whole life?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I would say since I was around like the

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Speaker 3: ten to twelve age, Like I want to say, it

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Speaker 3: was weird, Like I'd start thinking about it and it

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Speaker 3: would like really mess me up as a kid, and

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Speaker 3: I didn't really know what anxiety was or what you know,

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Speaker 3: panic attacks were or anything like that. And then my

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Speaker 3: stepbrother passed away. It was kind of messed up, but

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Speaker 3: he committed suicide, and so I started getting panic attacks

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Speaker 3: even worse than and then it kind of came back

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Speaker 3: in to that too. I feel like the idea of

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Speaker 3: death really like encompassed everything that I was thinking, and

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Speaker 3: I felt like I had to do things out of

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Speaker 3: spite to you know, like everything. I feel like everything

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Speaker 3: you do in life is like out of spite of

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Speaker 3: your death. And so it's coming. You're on the train

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Speaker 3: no matter what. There's no way to get around it,

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Speaker 3: and so it's weird. Because it's like, I almost the

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Speaker 3: idea of me being able to die and there just

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Speaker 3: be nothing for eternity, like I wouldn't be conscious, So

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Speaker 3: that almost sounds more enjoyable than being conscious for eternity,

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Speaker 3: and it messes me up because it's like, well, that's

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Speaker 3: directly against my beliefs. So it's very it's very strange,

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Speaker 3: and it makes me feel like uneasy. It's like the

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Speaker 3: same idea. There was some guy that I was listening

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Speaker 3: to literally yesterday at work that you were talking to

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Speaker 3: that had like the fear of planets and like the sun,

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Speaker 3: like he was a he said he was an amateur,

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Speaker 3: a strong.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember that. That's that was like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: a year and a half ago. I remember talking to

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Speaker 2: that guy.

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Speaker 3: So it's kind of it's like the same idea of that.

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Speaker 3: It's like just how crazily big like that number is

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Speaker 3: like with eternity or with other planets and suff because

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Speaker 3: I get that the same thing. Like my wife and

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Speaker 3: I will go up we live in Tucson and there's

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Speaker 3: like a big old mountain up here and sometimes we'll

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Speaker 3: drive up, and so it's the higher you go up,

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Speaker 3: the less light pollution there is, and I literally like

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Speaker 3: I'll get fearful, like I'm going to fall off the

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Speaker 3: edge of the earth. Like it's weird. I feel like uneasy.

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Speaker 3: It's it's weird and it's been bothering me for weeks since.

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Speaker 3: I'll listen to your show and there's people that are

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Speaker 3: talking about like the existential dread thing, and I'm like,

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Speaker 3: I have been dealing with that horribly.

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Speaker 2: M So, well, tell me more about your beliefs, like

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Speaker 2: do you I mean this question genuinely, like do you

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Speaker 2: do you have conviction in your beliefs?

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Speaker 3: Conviction how so like like conviction I'm wrong.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, uh, well, well, conviction and your beliefs in

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Speaker 2: the sense of like you're talking about death as a

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Speaker 2: secession of any consciousness for all of eternity versus your

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Speaker 2: belief of Christianity, being that your spiritual inheritance upon death

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Speaker 2: is eternity with Jesus Christ in heaven.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess it's just pretty it's for me, it's

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Speaker 3: just like pretty straightforward. I feel like, like one breath out,

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Speaker 3: you're here on earth, Like it's just I don't know

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Speaker 3: if this is what you're asking about.

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Speaker 1: One breath out.

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Speaker 3: I'm dead and then the next breath in, I'm like,

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Speaker 3: I just I see the gates, you know.

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Speaker 2: That's yeah, so that's that's that's your conviction. Yeah, okay,

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Speaker 2: hmm hm hm hmm. I'm trying to figure out how

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Speaker 2: I want to have this conversation with you, because I

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Speaker 2: I think it's good to well, well, actually, no, I'll

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Speaker 2: ask you this. I think you're a smart guy, like,

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Speaker 2: do you ever And I don't mean this, I swear

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Speaker 2: in my life, I don't mean this in a leading way.

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Speaker 2: I genuinely again ask do you ever question your beliefs?

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Speaker 3: So for me, the doubts come up a lot more

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Speaker 3: with kind of what I'm battling in life, and so

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Speaker 3: right now I'm battling there's like a lot of pornography

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Speaker 3: that I'm trying to get around. I grew up kind

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Speaker 3: of not having a whole lot of confidence in myself,

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Speaker 3: and so I viewed sex as like a I love you.

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Speaker 3: I guess like if I got that with someone, then

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Speaker 3: that meant that I loved me. And so recently it's like,

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Speaker 3: if I'm not doing so well, I definitely get the

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Speaker 3: doubts of like why am I?

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Speaker 1: Like, why am I doing this? What is this what

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Speaker 1: is this for?

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Speaker 3: Or like right now, I'm like at work, I don't

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Speaker 3: like I have a good job, but it's not at

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Speaker 3: all what I want to be doing. And I think

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Speaker 3: that plays into the dread too, is like I'm like,

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Speaker 3: it's Attorney's just going to be me doing things that

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Speaker 3: I don't want to do forever and ever endeavor and

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Speaker 3: so there, I would say there's definitely those doubts that

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Speaker 3: you know, like what if what if it's bad? What

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Speaker 3: if it's not all good? Because it says, like, you know,

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Speaker 3: God keeps his promises in the Bible like everything is good.

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Speaker 3: But for me, it's like a lot of my joy

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Speaker 3: if your life comes through like battling and experience and

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Speaker 3: growth and saying hey I'm better than I was, you know,

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Speaker 3: a year ago. But that doesn't really happen in heaven.

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Speaker 3: It's apparently supposed to be just like all good and

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Speaker 3: all great.

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Speaker 1: And I'm like, what the heck?

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Speaker 3: How do I you know, like, and it's always forever changing.

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Speaker 3: It says it's never going to get boring, and I'm like,

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Speaker 3: am I going to be able to play skate four?

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Speaker 1: You know?

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Speaker 3: It's like I like, yeah, they.

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Speaker 2: Might have heaven is definitely full of skate four setups

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Speaker 2: for sure. That's absolutely positive. Yeah, skate four. They got

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Speaker 2: grand theft Auto seven up there, it's great. Before my

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Speaker 2: death interesting so well, okay, because one of the questions

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Speaker 2: I was gonna ask you is like why, I mean

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Speaker 2: just the simple one of like why are you afraid

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Speaker 2: of eternity? And I guess one of the ways you're

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Speaker 2: answering it is like, okay, so in eternity, if everything

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Speaker 2: is always great and amazing fucking awesome forever, and we

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Speaker 2: live in utopia and there's heaven and everything is an

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Speaker 2: orgasmic beam of eternal light and sunshine and harmony for

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Speaker 2: all of Attorney forever, and Jesus is there and he's

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Speaker 2: jacked and everyone has a billion dollars and whatever the

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Speaker 2: you know what I mean, It's like, how how is there?

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Speaker 2: How is their measurable growth?

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Speaker 1: Right? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: And that's what makes you guys, what gives you happiness?

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Speaker 1: That's that's a big part. I feel like, you know.

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Speaker 3: You can be that's go ahead, go ahead, Yeah, sorry,

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Speaker 3: I feel like it's the idea of the sun shines

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Speaker 3: brighter the harder it rains.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, like how.

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Speaker 3: It's so confusing in my head. One just the idea

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Speaker 3: of existing forever, but two, like, how how do I

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Speaker 3: measure happiness without sadness? Because like I've seen some i'd say,

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Speaker 3: some really bad stuff in my life, like I was

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Speaker 3: saying with my brother, and There's been a lot more

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Speaker 3: traumatic things as I've grown up. But I feel like

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Speaker 3: where I'm at now, Like I just got married. I've

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Speaker 3: been married for three months, and like it's like I've

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Speaker 3: I feel this thing that like I have so much

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Speaker 3: I don't know how to explain it. Like I like,

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Speaker 3: I built this thing from the ground up, and so

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Speaker 3: I'm proud of the fact of where I've got to.

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Speaker 3: And so it's like if I just enter heaven, it's like, oh,

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Speaker 3: here's your house, here's your million Jesus dollars, here's your

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Speaker 3: you know, like I'm just kind of like, okay, but

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Speaker 3: what do I have to do? You know, Like what's

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Speaker 3: my sense of purpose?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? If I'm going to be there forever, well, I mean, yeah, dude,

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Speaker 2: I have I got tons of thoughts about this is

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Speaker 2: how did you were your parents Christians?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: So my it's kind of crazy. Actually my family like

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Speaker 3: two or three generations up actually we're the earliest Mormon

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Speaker 3: settlers in the US, so all of Utah and I

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Speaker 3: don't know if you know, like I think it's called

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Speaker 3: Bear Lake was actually settled by His name is Charles

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Speaker 3: Colson Rich And so my family's Mormon coming all the

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Speaker 3: way down the line. And then when it came to

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Speaker 3: my mom, my mom said screw this U and converted

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Speaker 3: to Christianity. And so yeah, it was like kind of

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Speaker 3: since I was born, like I was dedicated at my church.

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Speaker 3: And I'd say, growing up, I kind of always went

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Speaker 3: to church because that's just what my parents had me do.

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Speaker 3: But then I dated some girl and was like, I

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Speaker 3: want to kind of figure out my own life. And

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Speaker 3: after she was she was pretty abusive to me for

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Speaker 3: three years, and so after that I kind of, i'd say,

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Speaker 3: really like laid my life down to Christ. So that's

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Speaker 3: been i'd say two or two or three years, and

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Speaker 3: like my wife now I'm at a church and it's

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Speaker 3: been pretty good. It's just yeah, i'd say, like, realistically,

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Speaker 3: my actual beliefs only started about two or three years ago.

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Speaker 4: Do you.

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Speaker 2: Do you when did you when did you start to

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Speaker 2: believe or I guess arrive at the conclusion that there

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Speaker 2: is this definitive eternal life in heaven.

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Speaker 3: I'd say probably, jeez, dude, I'd probably like in my

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Speaker 3: teens somewhere, I'd say like fourteen to sixteen, did I

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Speaker 3: really like because I was going to church with my

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Speaker 3: family a lot, and they're always like, you're going to

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Speaker 3: go to hell if you you know, if this doesn't

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Speaker 3: work out or if this doesn't work out, you need

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Speaker 3: to you know, be this way and be you know.

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Speaker 3: I guess it wasn't like be this way, but.

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Speaker 1: It's like, you know, you gotta believe in Christ and

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Speaker 1: go to heaven.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, cool, well that's like ultimate goal, right,

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Speaker 3: And I'm like, what am I going to enjoy about

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Speaker 3: this ultimate goal? And I started really sinking into it

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Speaker 3: and it's like it's weird because I've I was talking

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Speaker 3: to pastors and stuff and I tell them like I

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Speaker 3: felt like I was crazy because I'd be on Reddit.

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Speaker 3: I'd be like looking up why do I have a

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Speaker 3: fear of eternity? And there's like a Reddit thread called

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Speaker 3: a perophobia and there's apparently a lot more people that what.

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Speaker 2: Do people on that Reddit thread say? What kind of

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Speaker 2: like other people who are dealing with this. What do

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Speaker 2: they have to say about it?

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Speaker 3: It's well, it's not just for Christianity, it's for everything.

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Speaker 3: And so it's like some people have the fear of like, oh,

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Speaker 3: when I'm dead, I'm I'm gonna never be alive again.

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Speaker 3: You know, I'm just gonna float off into the cosmos.

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Speaker 1: But there's other people that do.

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Speaker 3: Kind of have the same things. For me, I actually

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Speaker 3: read an entire research paper that this guy made for

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Speaker 3: his college class. It was for like theology, but it

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Speaker 3: was called like four and against Eternal Life, and he

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Speaker 3: basically explains, like, you know, how God is as he

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Speaker 3: is stated in the Bible, and basically what his fears were,

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Speaker 3: and then what the pros and cons were of having

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Speaker 3: eternal life, and so it I mean I read it

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Speaker 3: in it like kind of helps, but it kind of didn't.

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Speaker 1: And so.

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Speaker 3: It's just it's weird. It's kind of just people saying

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Speaker 3: the same thing. Sometimes people kind of get over over

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Speaker 3: time and they say, I keep this thing, And a

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Speaker 3: lot of people are just saying, like, if it's within

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Speaker 3: your belief, you have to believe that God is greater

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Speaker 3: than like what these fears are being stirred up against. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 3: it's like the idea of.

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Speaker 1: Letting go.

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Speaker 3: And just like like Nirvana, you know, like letting go

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Speaker 3: and being in that state and let.

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Speaker 2: Me it's sorry, I want to you're Before I cut in.

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Speaker 1: I was just gonna say it's weird, but you're good.

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Speaker 2: Well, let me say this, for for me to have

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Speaker 2: this conversation with you is yeah, you know, I talk

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Speaker 2: on the podcast a lot about like existential crisises and

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Speaker 2: thinking about death and thinking about eternity and thinking about

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Speaker 2: the big questions and really, like you know, I had

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Speaker 2: a whole period of time for most of this year.

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Speaker 2: I feel, I fucking feel great now. I feel the

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Speaker 2: best I ever have. But for most of this year,

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Speaker 2: I felt like I was in outer space and I

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Speaker 2: took my helmet off and I had to be directly

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Speaker 2: confronted with the these like big questions. And I thought

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Speaker 2: about like God, and I thought about, yeah, these big

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Speaker 2: questions of eternity and death and nothingness and and and whatnot.

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Speaker 2: And I I've become increasingly increasingly agnostic because I think that, like, well,

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Speaker 2: I think that God and the idea of like like

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Speaker 2: the idea of like submission, like what you just said

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Speaker 2: when you talked about like God's plan, you know, and

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Speaker 2: submitting to God's plan and letting go I whether or

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Speaker 2: not I'm I'm not a I'm not a Christian, and

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Speaker 2: I don't think I believe in any sort of like like,

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Speaker 2: I don't I don't think there's like a dude in

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Speaker 2: a heaven necessarily. But gain again, I'm becoming becoming I'm

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Speaker 2: becoming further further agnostic towards the idea of there being

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Speaker 2: some kind of like unseen plain or dimension or it

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Speaker 2: could all just be you know, I don't know. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: but anyway, anyway, God's plan, right, okay, And this is

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Speaker 2: And by the way, if you're listening to this and

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Speaker 2: you're like, what the FI, don't there's no God or whatever,

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Speaker 2: it's like, that's not You're not It's not the point.

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Speaker 2: It's not about a physical God. There is. Logically, God's

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Speaker 2: plan in the sense of the universe continues to march forward,

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Speaker 2: not with any kind of like a gentic plan made

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Speaker 2: by a God, but it marches forward.

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Speaker 1: And you, you, and.

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Speaker 2: You and you and you are on it. And it

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Speaker 2: contains an unfathomable bull amount of uncertainty. And I think

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Speaker 2: God and God's plan is an allegory for that uncertainty, Okay,

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Speaker 2: And so there's something to be said about submitting yourself

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Speaker 2: to that uncertainty a ka in your case as a Christian,

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Speaker 2: submitting yourself to to God's plan. And I think there's something, uh,

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Speaker 2: extremely peaceful about that. And I almost think that the

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Speaker 2: the crisis. Also, some people never have the crisis. They

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Speaker 2: just never have it. I don't know how you live

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Speaker 2: on this fucking planet and you never have the crisis,

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Speaker 2: but some people.

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Speaker 5: Never have it.

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Speaker 2: You're blessed, You're You're blessed enough truly to be endowed

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Speaker 2: with the gift of the realization of the of the

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Speaker 2: of the insane cosmic predicament that you're in. Yeah, and

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Speaker 2: it's it's diabolically uncomfortable. It's diabolically uncomfortable. And when I

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Speaker 2: was in it, I thought I was going to have

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Speaker 2: to kill myself. I thought, I thought, but there was

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Speaker 2: no return back to you know, eating a slice of

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Speaker 2: pizza and talking about a movie I just saw. You know,

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Speaker 2: I thought there was no return. And I since feel

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Speaker 2: very returned. I since feel even more at harmony with

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Speaker 2: you know, the the fucking matrix or whatever that we're

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Speaker 2: living in that we have are uncertain about if you

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Speaker 2: know it's it's real. And I can speak on that

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Speaker 2: as my personal experience, and I'll say that what people

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Speaker 2: are saying in that separated about submission to God's plan.

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Speaker 2: And again people get all crazy about like religion and stuff,

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Speaker 2: and it's like, you don't have you don't have to

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Speaker 2: believe in God to know to like submit to God's plan.

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Speaker 2: If you believe God's plan is just an allegory for

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Speaker 2: the uncertainty that we have about in the universe, like

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Speaker 2: consciousness and eternity and where we you know, uh uh

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Speaker 2: how we're able to do all the amazing fucking things

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Speaker 2: that we do as conscious beings. But I think it's uncomfortable,

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Speaker 2: but you kind of gradually learn to submit yourself to it,

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Speaker 2: and uh there's a lot of love and realizing that

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Speaker 2: everyone you're in the same unfathomable cosmic predicament as every

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Speaker 2: single other living thing and person around you, and you're

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Speaker 2: all going to submit together as this collective consciousness and

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Speaker 2: it's it's it's kind of beautiful and it's going to

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Speaker 2: be whatever it is, and you're not alone. You're the

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Speaker 2: universe experiencing itself and you'll be okay, and then you

347
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Speaker 2: can go, uh, you know, fucking watch a movie and

348
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Speaker 2: jack off. I know you're trying to not jack off,

349
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Speaker 2: but you know.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, let's not let's not do that.

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Speaker 3: No, but I completely understand what you're saying, Like I

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Speaker 3: feel like, whether or not you believe or not, you're

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Speaker 3: still on this fucking train man, You're you're still marching

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Speaker 3: towards the end.

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Speaker 2: And so for me, I'm sorry. I mean, it's not

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Speaker 2: about it's not about I don't know if it's about belief.

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Speaker 2: I think it's about submission.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, well it's like whatever, Like yeah, that makes sense,

359
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Speaker 3: Like what whatever it is you have to submit.

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Speaker 1: To the train.

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Speaker 2: Yes, you have to submit to the.

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Speaker 3: Trarain is continually going forward, and then you're just whenever

363
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Speaker 3: you're done, whatever happens. It's like, okay, like you you

364
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Speaker 3: made it to the end of that train ride.

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Speaker 2: And there's also sorry, go ahead.

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Speaker 5: One of you.

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Speaker 1: No, you're good.

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Speaker 3: I was just gonna say for me, it's like it's

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Speaker 3: kind of cool like you and I both in the

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Speaker 3: general sense, have had the same you know, like like

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Speaker 3: you were saying, like the I don't know how people

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Speaker 3: get through life without having this happen to them. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: but it's like for you that brought you to even

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Speaker 3: more of going like, Okay, well I'm not gonna I

375
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Speaker 3: don't think there's any like, you know, God in heaven,

376
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Speaker 3: you know type of a thing is just God is

377
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Speaker 3: like the universe, which is nuts because that's actually like

378
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Speaker 3: directly what my brother believes. For me, it's pushed me

379
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Speaker 3: more into it and that makes sense. Yeah, it's like

380
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Speaker 3: gnarly because it's like I'm more uncomfortable as I go on,

381
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Speaker 3: but it's like I do find that sense of peace

382
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Speaker 3: of like I'll watch a movie or whatever and I've

383
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Speaker 3: it's like I almost break the fourth wall in the

384
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Speaker 3: movie and I'm like, oh, yeah, that's just an actor.

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Speaker 1: That's house. Are gonna die? Yep, you know yep.

386
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Speaker 3: And so it's like all of us, we're we're the

387
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Speaker 3: entire generation that we are all living in. It's like

388
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Speaker 3: in one hundred and fifty years we're all gone. There

389
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Speaker 3: will be a complete new cycle of new people that

390
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Speaker 3: will be on there.

391
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Speaker 2: Yep.

392
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Speaker 3: It's weird.

393
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Speaker 2: It's not it's not. It's it's what's your name again, Malachi, Malachi?

394
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Speaker 2: I think you have I still have existential crisises, and

395
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Speaker 2: I'm not like, uh uh, I'm figuring this out with

396
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Speaker 2: you as I'm trying to gain greater clarity on it.

397
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Speaker 2: But I've been thinking about it a lot lately, and

398
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Speaker 2: I think that there is there's a so because you're

399
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Speaker 2: you know what it is. Part of is is like

400
00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:53,879
Speaker 2: your there's a sense of like ego, I think, and

401
00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:57,320
Speaker 2: I have. I have tons of ego for sure, and

402
00:24:57,359 --> 00:24:59,760
Speaker 2: I and I care a lot about like what I'm

403
00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:02,960
Speaker 2: ex experiencing is my own life, especially when I'm not

404
00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:07,159
Speaker 2: especially when I'm not you know, having esoteric conversations and

405
00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:10,280
Speaker 2: I'm just going about my and I'm deeply entrenched in

406
00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:12,520
Speaker 2: the fucking matrix in my day to day, which is

407
00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:19,880
Speaker 2: ninety five percent of the time. But there's something truly

408
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:24,320
Speaker 2: extremely peaceful because I assume that's what your mind and

409
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Speaker 2: body want, is peace, because you know it's such a

410
00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:35,920
Speaker 2: deeply uncomfortable position. But you'll find I think you can

411
00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:41,040
Speaker 2: find peace in like probably two things, which is one

412
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Speaker 2: is deciding like on the on the ego side of

413
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Speaker 2: the spectrum, is like deciding what is going to give

414
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Speaker 2: you meaning and progression in your own experience of your

415
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Speaker 2: own life, which you talked about already because you were like,

416
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Speaker 2: I like, that's what I like about my life. You're like,

417
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Speaker 2: I built this thing with my life. I'm building this career.

418
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Speaker 2: I that's you know, have heaven sucks ass. It's like

419
00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:08,000
Speaker 2: the game is on, you know, one hundred completion. I

420
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:10,200
Speaker 2: want to play the fucking game. You're enjoying playing the game.

421
00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:12,760
Speaker 2: So that's good, that's real. That's that's that's where you

422
00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:16,400
Speaker 2: find uh peace on the one part, in the ego part,

423
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Speaker 2: and then on the uh on the flipping on the

424
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Speaker 2: on the uh on the whole thing of like, oh,

425
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Speaker 2: I have to at some point relinquish my ego and die.

426
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Speaker 2: There's something extremely beautiful about submitting to about coming to

427
00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:42,199
Speaker 2: complete terms with the fact that, uh, the world you

428
00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:47,800
Speaker 2: live in is unfathomably beyond you and bigger than you,

429
00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:52,199
Speaker 2: and UH, when you've come face to face with that,

430
00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:55,760
Speaker 2: there's actually a lot of peace in there. I think

431
00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:58,440
Speaker 2: there's a lot of peace in I'm gonna I'm gonna

432
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Speaker 2: just die, dude, and and everything else that's beyond me.

433
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:05,520
Speaker 2: I served my own purpose that I created within the

434
00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:11,280
Speaker 2: framework of my ego by fucking uh loving my wife

435
00:27:11,359 --> 00:27:15,920
Speaker 2: or raising kids or starting a podcast, or playing Tic

436
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:19,639
Speaker 2: tac toe or eating a sandwich, and or just or

437
00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:25,440
Speaker 2: just living or just purely just existing. It's fine fucking too.

438
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:29,879
Speaker 2: And I served my own little the part of that

439
00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:32,879
Speaker 2: I could control within like my ego state. And then

440
00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:36,320
Speaker 2: and then outside of that, I'm just everything beyond that,

441
00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:40,840
Speaker 2: uh is I I fucking accept to be beyond me

442
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:44,040
Speaker 2: and I submit to it. And there's peace in that.

443
00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:46,360
Speaker 2: I think people want to I don't. I don't get

444
00:27:46,359 --> 00:27:50,120
Speaker 2: why everyone wants to be in control of things all

445
00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:53,879
Speaker 2: the time. You're searching for control. You have control of it,

446
00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:56,159
Speaker 2: you have you have I mean, this is when you

447
00:27:56,240 --> 00:27:58,159
Speaker 2: this is when we start getting into like politics and

448
00:27:58,240 --> 00:28:02,000
Speaker 2: economics and what not. Is in the ego part is

449
00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:04,639
Speaker 2: like how much control do I have over the the

450
00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:09,800
Speaker 2: part of the matrix that I live in, right, And

451
00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:12,359
Speaker 2: that's when you get into That's when you get into

452
00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:15,880
Speaker 2: the politics and economics and whatnot, and that's its own thing.

453
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:18,359
Speaker 2: And then everything beyond that you but everything everything beyond

454
00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:20,600
Speaker 2: that is you just have to submit yourself too, because

455
00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:26,600
Speaker 2: it's not uh, it's just fucking beyond you. You have

456
00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:27,600
Speaker 2: to submit yourself to it.

457
00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:31,720
Speaker 3: Well, that's like one of the biggest things that the

458
00:28:31,760 --> 00:28:36,359
Speaker 3: Bible does teach too, is like being content with everything

459
00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:39,960
Speaker 3: and right now on earth, like existence as a whole.

460
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:43,080
Speaker 3: Like there's as a version that says like we return

461
00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:47,760
Speaker 3: as dust, like as we've been made, you know, because

462
00:28:47,760 --> 00:28:51,360
Speaker 3: we're just freaking dirt or part of the earth. Yeah,

463
00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:54,320
Speaker 3: now the earth go back into it. And so it's, uh,

464
00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:55,760
Speaker 3: that's totally makes sense.

465
00:28:55,840 --> 00:28:56,520
Speaker 1: There's just like.

466
00:28:57,960 --> 00:29:01,600
Speaker 3: There's a piece that happens when you just say, screw it,

467
00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:05,160
Speaker 3: I am a little tiny ant on earth that nothing

468
00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:11,000
Speaker 3: really matters. Everything matters. Why not just like eat a

469
00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:16,240
Speaker 3: freaking cheese steak and watch TV with my wife, Like

470
00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:17,200
Speaker 3: why am I worrying about this?

471
00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:18,840
Speaker 5: You know.

472
00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:22,400
Speaker 2: It's it's very funny and interesting to hear you say

473
00:29:22,440 --> 00:29:25,920
Speaker 2: that your existential crisses and realizations and questionings have brought

474
00:29:25,960 --> 00:29:28,840
Speaker 2: you deeper into Christianity. It makes a lot of sense,

475
00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:32,280
Speaker 2: especially when you're reading the book that says like you know,

476
00:29:32,360 --> 00:29:35,560
Speaker 2: from dust to dust. Then you're like, that makes fucking sense,

477
00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:42,000
Speaker 2: and it's probably why Christianity is still I mean it's like,

478
00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:47,080
Speaker 2: I mean, how old. I guess Christianity is technically twenty

479
00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:48,360
Speaker 2: twenty five years old?

480
00:29:48,440 --> 00:29:53,320
Speaker 1: Right? Yeah? No, yeah, I think okay.

481
00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:56,080
Speaker 2: I mean that's why it stood the test of time

482
00:29:56,160 --> 00:30:02,400
Speaker 2: is because it has this like framework of uh answers

483
00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:08,480
Speaker 2: to great questions. It's been unfortunately, it's got a bad

484
00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:12,560
Speaker 2: rap because it's been unfortunately co opted into like for

485
00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:16,160
Speaker 2: like lots of like horrible stupid things that take it

486
00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:20,280
Speaker 2: so deeply, deeply far away from the.

487
00:30:22,920 --> 00:30:26,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, no there, and that's I know exactly what you're

488
00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:28,800
Speaker 3: talking about, unfortunately, And that's the thing that sucks is

489
00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:32,160
Speaker 3: that like for you, for instance, it's like if there

490
00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:37,280
Speaker 3: was anyone else that was you know, like that, they

491
00:30:37,320 --> 00:30:40,040
Speaker 3: can't really have a conversation with other people. They're like,

492
00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:42,440
Speaker 3: you have to believe in this. But like my brother,

493
00:30:42,520 --> 00:30:45,480
Speaker 3: for instance, he believes exactly what you're saying. He's you

494
00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:49,320
Speaker 3: guys are I would like to see that conversation. But

495
00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:54,720
Speaker 3: it's like, shut up, just let people be human. Like

496
00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:58,720
Speaker 3: there is literally averse saying, don't have freaking stupid arguments,

497
00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:01,120
Speaker 3: Like if you're gonna tell any and about me, tell

498
00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:04,120
Speaker 3: them peacefully and then leave them the hell alone. And

499
00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:06,520
Speaker 3: it's like that makes the most sense. Like it's like

500
00:31:06,560 --> 00:31:09,000
Speaker 3: why am I gonna like one of my best friends,

501
00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:12,760
Speaker 3: I brought him to church last week he came out

502
00:31:12,760 --> 00:31:14,760
Speaker 3: as gay to me, but he was like, yeah, I

503
00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:17,400
Speaker 3: want to go to church. I'm like cool, sick. I

504
00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:19,400
Speaker 3: like brought him over. I was like, how is things

505
00:31:19,400 --> 00:31:20,840
Speaker 3: and he's like good, He's like I just want to

506
00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:23,520
Speaker 3: check with out. I'm like cool, have a good night.

507
00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:25,720
Speaker 3: You know, like like why why am why are you

508
00:31:25,760 --> 00:31:27,200
Speaker 3: gonna it sucks?

509
00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:27,760
Speaker 5: Right?

510
00:31:27,800 --> 00:31:27,840
Speaker 6: No?

511
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:28,200
Speaker 5: Right?

512
00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:32,760
Speaker 2: The ethos of the thing is like a submission, and

513
00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:37,880
Speaker 2: it's like a fucking submission and acceptance of what is,

514
00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:41,680
Speaker 2: and then to use it to like make people like

515
00:31:42,280 --> 00:31:47,280
Speaker 2: feel bad about being gay is like is uh is stupid?

516
00:31:47,600 --> 00:31:47,800
Speaker 1: Yeah?

517
00:31:47,880 --> 00:31:50,360
Speaker 3: No, Like I had a conversation with him. I was like,

518
00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:52,800
Speaker 3: so with you going here, I was like, that doesn't

519
00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:55,840
Speaker 3: change anything. I'm assuming. He's like, nope, absolutely not. He's

520
00:31:55,880 --> 00:31:58,480
Speaker 3: like I just wanted to check it out. I'm like cool, man, like,

521
00:31:58,680 --> 00:32:01,960
Speaker 3: it's not my place to tell anyone. And even more so,

522
00:32:02,040 --> 00:32:03,880
Speaker 3: it's like that's so stupid. In the Bible, it says

523
00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:06,800
Speaker 3: multiple times like God is the only judge. Why the

524
00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:10,440
Speaker 3: heck are you judging people? Like like it's just and

525
00:32:10,480 --> 00:32:12,920
Speaker 3: then you push them into the sense of existential threat.

526
00:32:13,320 --> 00:32:17,800
Speaker 2: Yeah again, No, I totally. I I from having an

527
00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:20,320
Speaker 2: existential crisis. I get why why it brings you closer,

528
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:22,760
Speaker 2: but it brought me close to God. It just as

529
00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:26,120
Speaker 2: an it's just as an allegory, like it's a fucking allegory,

530
00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:28,480
Speaker 2: you know, like God. And I've always thought it was

531
00:32:28,520 --> 00:32:30,360
Speaker 2: an allegory. I don't I know, and I don't know

532
00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:35,680
Speaker 2: what your belief is, but like it's not a I

533
00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:37,320
Speaker 2: don't know if I believe in it as like a

534
00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:40,520
Speaker 2: fairy tale. I don't know if there's like a a

535
00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:45,120
Speaker 2: unilateral force or like a higher being or like a God,

536
00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:49,520
Speaker 2: like a you know, a god God. But God as

537
00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:54,600
Speaker 2: an allegory for the answer. God is an allegory for

538
00:32:54,760 --> 00:32:58,719
Speaker 2: then the unknown and the yeah, you know, and at

539
00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:03,240
Speaker 2: all it's it's it's it's funny because it's, uh, it's

540
00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:05,880
Speaker 2: this all this conversation we're having. It sounds a little woo,

541
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:10,440
Speaker 2: but it's also really not. It's really like grounded in

542
00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:22,080
Speaker 2: the acceptance of the unknown, which is like empirically unknown. Yeah,

543
00:33:22,120 --> 00:33:23,920
Speaker 2: and we don't even know if it can we and

544
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:26,560
Speaker 2: they and part of part of the undude, the part

545
00:33:26,560 --> 00:33:29,719
Speaker 2: of the unknown is it's unknown if the unknown can

546
00:33:29,760 --> 00:33:30,320
Speaker 2: become known?

547
00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:34,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, man, it's God.

548
00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:37,880
Speaker 2: I know this. I I get. I get where you're

549
00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:40,080
Speaker 2: coming from, man, because this conversation it just really makes

550
00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:42,960
Speaker 2: me want to fucking jerk off and watch a lot

551
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:45,920
Speaker 2: of porn and and zone out. You know, I get

552
00:33:45,920 --> 00:33:47,920
Speaker 2: you you're struggling with Tell me more about the tell

553
00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:51,520
Speaker 2: me more about the porn thing if you want ship Yeah.

554
00:33:51,360 --> 00:33:56,959
Speaker 3: Oh god, okay, yeah no, that's a that's a loaded question.

555
00:33:57,080 --> 00:33:59,680
Speaker 3: I don't know how time we have, but.

556
00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:02,040
Speaker 2: We have as much as much time as you have.

557
00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:07,920
Speaker 3: Okay, No, man, I just I grew up with a

558
00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:13,040
Speaker 3: lot of really messed up things happening to me. I'd say,

559
00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:16,680
Speaker 3: like I my parents, my dad was gosh, I'm really

560
00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:19,200
Speaker 3: gonna have to be careful.

561
00:34:18,960 --> 00:34:21,680
Speaker 1: Who I show this to if you end up posting it.

562
00:34:22,080 --> 00:34:24,680
Speaker 2: But I will. I just want to let you know

563
00:34:24,680 --> 00:34:28,359
Speaker 2: because I I I am going to post this as

564
00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:31,640
Speaker 2: a podcast. This is I'm gonna post the podcast, and

565
00:34:32,600 --> 00:34:35,840
Speaker 2: so like for real, you like, if there's things that

566
00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:38,200
Speaker 2: you don't want to share, you don't want to talk about,

567
00:34:38,320 --> 00:34:40,479
Speaker 2: or you don't want to you know, get too deep

568
00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:43,480
Speaker 2: in like don't feel like you have to, or we

569
00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:46,880
Speaker 2: we can we can just bullshit. It's totally whatever as

570
00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:48,719
Speaker 2: much or as little as you want to fucking talk

571
00:34:48,719 --> 00:34:49,439
Speaker 2: about it as you want.

572
00:34:50,160 --> 00:34:52,040
Speaker 3: No, I'm I'm I'm down to talk. It's more so

573
00:34:52,160 --> 00:34:55,600
Speaker 3: like I really I don't have a good relationship with

574
00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:57,319
Speaker 3: my father, but I mean I'm not gonna like show

575
00:34:57,400 --> 00:35:01,160
Speaker 3: him Hey I was a look you know anyway way, Yeah,

576
00:35:01,160 --> 00:35:05,920
Speaker 3: I'm good my dad. My dad was like a crazy, deadbeat,

577
00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:09,520
Speaker 3: drunk dad growing up, and so a lot of stuff

578
00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:11,719
Speaker 3: slipped the cracks when I was growing up, and like

579
00:35:11,760 --> 00:35:18,080
Speaker 3: I've been like sexually touched a lot when I was

580
00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:20,840
Speaker 3: growing up, from like friends and crap. And then my

581
00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:26,160
Speaker 3: dad he like I remember vividly like watching him throw

582
00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:31,319
Speaker 3: wine bottles across my kitchen into the bathroom at my

583
00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:32,480
Speaker 3: mom and crap like that.

584
00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:32,920
Speaker 1: And so.

585
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:40,280
Speaker 3: Over time, like I realized that I wasn't really getting

586
00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:44,080
Speaker 3: a lot of love at all, and so I feel

587
00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:46,440
Speaker 3: like I tried to search for the best way that

588
00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:50,000
Speaker 3: I knew how to, which growing up was sexually. And

589
00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:57,560
Speaker 3: so I started, like, like I want to say, because

590
00:35:57,600 --> 00:36:01,840
Speaker 3: I lost my virginity when I was fifteen, and I

591
00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:05,440
Speaker 3: think I was in eighth grade, and so it was

592
00:36:05,440 --> 00:36:09,320
Speaker 3: like from there, I was just kind of like whatever

593
00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:13,200
Speaker 3: says goes, you know, like it doesn't matter. I'm just

594
00:36:13,239 --> 00:36:15,839
Speaker 3: trying to find those one off experiences over and over

595
00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:19,600
Speaker 3: and over again. And so it was probably for like

596
00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:24,000
Speaker 3: my eighth grades through like three fourths of high school,

597
00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:28,120
Speaker 3: I just kind of looked for sex wherever it was,

598
00:36:28,239 --> 00:36:31,479
Speaker 3: and if someone wanted to do it, then I was like, Okay, sure,

599
00:36:31,520 --> 00:36:34,080
Speaker 3: I'm down. And it made me feel good about myself

600
00:36:34,120 --> 00:36:37,120
Speaker 3: and it made me feel like I was like loved

601
00:36:37,239 --> 00:36:40,200
Speaker 3: and people actually liked me and that I wasn't some

602
00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:46,080
Speaker 3: like weirdo dude that was just hanging about. And I

603
00:36:46,120 --> 00:36:49,879
Speaker 3: think that really pulled into like pornography as well. And

604
00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:54,560
Speaker 3: so it's like to this day, like I struggled pretty

605
00:36:54,600 --> 00:36:58,520
Speaker 3: badly with like what I would say is temptation on it,

606
00:36:59,280 --> 00:37:01,759
Speaker 3: and it's like something that my wife and I have been,

607
00:37:01,880 --> 00:37:05,400
Speaker 3: you know, we talk about and you know, if I

608
00:37:05,440 --> 00:37:07,880
Speaker 3: mess up, it sucks, and my wife and I go

609
00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:09,759
Speaker 3: through like what I can do better next time, And

610
00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:14,000
Speaker 3: I feel like, regardless of you know, belief or whatever,

611
00:37:14,080 --> 00:37:16,840
Speaker 3: I feel like it definitely like pornography itself has a

612
00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:24,440
Speaker 3: can have a very detrimental impact on your mind. You know,

613
00:37:24,880 --> 00:37:29,640
Speaker 3: like it's like the idea of like Instagram and doom scrolling.

614
00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:33,480
Speaker 3: You you have a new source of material and content

615
00:37:34,040 --> 00:37:37,560
Speaker 3: every five seconds, and it's like with pornography, you have

616
00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:41,719
Speaker 3: a new source of do you know what color hair

617
00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:45,720
Speaker 3: and who and why? And it's just like you don't get.

618
00:37:46,440 --> 00:37:50,479
Speaker 2: Well, I'm curious about this, and I've completely one hundred percent.

619
00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:56,160
Speaker 2: And I think a lot of people, you know, I

620
00:37:57,520 --> 00:37:59,720
Speaker 2: only know it from the male side, but I assume

621
00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:02,440
Speaker 2: both men and women. A lot of people, yeah, are

622
00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:07,480
Speaker 2: like can relate to you on the road of like

623
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:13,399
Speaker 2: constantly seeking like like novel sexual experiences as a way

624
00:38:13,440 --> 00:38:21,120
Speaker 2: to like like gain self esteem, you know. I mean,

625
00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:24,080
Speaker 2: it's it's it's a it's a huge classic. I'm curious though,

626
00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:29,440
Speaker 2: how that manifests itself in porn, because yeah, novel sexual

627
00:38:29,480 --> 00:38:34,600
Speaker 2: experiences definitely give you that like short term self esteem boost.

628
00:38:35,040 --> 00:38:37,600
Speaker 2: But I don't I've never experienced porn doing that.

629
00:38:39,360 --> 00:38:44,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, I really don't know how to, I guess. Let

630
00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:49,360
Speaker 3: me try to fathom and figure out like how I

631
00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:51,040
Speaker 3: don't know how to explain it. I guess like for me,

632
00:38:54,480 --> 00:38:58,719
Speaker 3: I grew up like always kind of chebby and I

633
00:38:58,760 --> 00:39:01,040
Speaker 3: don't know why. But like growing up I've had like

634
00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:04,680
Speaker 3: my brother or you know, people and friends tell me stuff.

635
00:39:04,680 --> 00:39:08,759
Speaker 3: And so when my brother I have two brothers, when

636
00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:12,480
Speaker 3: my other brother ended up committing suicide, and like the

637
00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:15,000
Speaker 3: idea of death really set in and then the existentialism,

638
00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:16,880
Speaker 3: so I think everything that ties into itself too. But

639
00:39:18,480 --> 00:39:19,960
Speaker 3: it was like, I'm going to die, and it's like,

640
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:21,840
Speaker 3: what's the first thing that everyone's been telling me that

641
00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:23,919
Speaker 3: like I can't die about. And it's like, oh, well,

642
00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:26,080
Speaker 3: if you're overweight, then you know you're going to have

643
00:39:26,120 --> 00:39:30,080
Speaker 3: a heart attack or whatever. And so it's like I

644
00:39:30,120 --> 00:39:35,440
Speaker 3: feel like the overweight side of it. It was like

645
00:39:35,680 --> 00:39:39,719
Speaker 3: if I'm watching porn, I don't have to, you know,

646
00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:46,080
Speaker 3: like be all sweaty and breathing hard over some person

647
00:39:46,200 --> 00:39:47,840
Speaker 3: that I'm attracted to.

648
00:39:49,239 --> 00:39:49,440
Speaker 1: You know.

649
00:39:50,160 --> 00:39:52,600
Speaker 3: It's like I just get the it's a little selfish.

650
00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:55,040
Speaker 3: I just get the good parts of it, like the

651
00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:58,120
Speaker 3: parts that make me feel good and like, you know,

652
00:39:58,160 --> 00:40:01,239
Speaker 3: the dopamine that releases. No one has to see me

653
00:40:01,680 --> 00:40:06,759
Speaker 3: gross and naked and that's cool, you know. And so

654
00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:10,239
Speaker 3: I guess for me growing up, it was like, yeah,

655
00:40:10,520 --> 00:40:15,240
Speaker 3: it was like there was a sense of comfortability within

656
00:40:15,320 --> 00:40:19,640
Speaker 3: that where it's like no one knows that I'm doing this.

657
00:40:19,880 --> 00:40:23,400
Speaker 3: I can do it whenever I want to just feel

658
00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:28,319
Speaker 3: a little better and like and it's like like I

659
00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:32,200
Speaker 3: was saying, like you anything you want, it's there, like

660
00:40:32,280 --> 00:40:35,560
Speaker 3: the flick of your fingertips. Online is crazy. You can

661
00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:39,560
Speaker 3: look up anything and it's just there. And so.

662
00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:45,960
Speaker 1: I guess that would be like the best way I

663
00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:46,640
Speaker 1: can explain that.

664
00:40:46,719 --> 00:40:51,160
Speaker 2: I'd say, yes, yes, well, I mean, yeah, it's it's

665
00:40:51,239 --> 00:40:57,120
Speaker 2: everything that you want and you don't have to involve

666
00:40:57,160 --> 00:40:59,880
Speaker 2: another person in it, and it can just be quick,

667
00:41:00,200 --> 00:41:07,200
Speaker 2: easy and give you the same you know, keep the

668
00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:09,520
Speaker 2: train of whatever it is you were searching for going.

669
00:41:10,400 --> 00:41:19,960
Speaker 2: But yeah, yeah, interesting, So how do you how do you? Uh,

670
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:21,759
Speaker 2: what's your wife's take on it?

671
00:41:23,520 --> 00:41:27,000
Speaker 3: My wife, I mean, like I said, we're both Christians,

672
00:41:27,040 --> 00:41:31,440
Speaker 3: so the there's a very big idea of you know,

673
00:41:31,680 --> 00:41:37,160
Speaker 3: no sexual immorality and so it's pretty gnarly. Like I

674
00:41:37,200 --> 00:41:39,279
Speaker 3: went from doing a lot of stuff with a lot

675
00:41:39,280 --> 00:41:42,880
Speaker 3: of people too, I went to church, I found my wife,

676
00:41:43,280 --> 00:41:48,319
Speaker 3: and my wife was a virgin and she like told me,

677
00:41:48,440 --> 00:41:51,040
Speaker 3: you know, absolutely not, We're gonna get married and do

678
00:41:51,160 --> 00:41:53,799
Speaker 3: things like the the way that you're supposed to. And

679
00:41:53,840 --> 00:41:55,759
Speaker 3: I said, okay, cool, that sounds.

680
00:41:55,440 --> 00:41:55,880
Speaker 1: Good with me.

681
00:41:56,160 --> 00:42:00,360
Speaker 3: So we went through like our entire relationship where together

682
00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:02,160
Speaker 3: for a year and a half before we got married,

683
00:42:02,800 --> 00:42:08,160
Speaker 3: and then you know, everything happened to her. But along

684
00:42:08,239 --> 00:42:10,759
Speaker 3: that ride of the year and a half, obviously an

685
00:42:10,800 --> 00:42:19,239
Speaker 3: abstaining through like no sex and trying to do no porn, there.

686
00:42:19,160 --> 00:42:19,759
Speaker 1: Was a lot of.

687
00:42:21,400 --> 00:42:24,640
Speaker 3: Sucky conversations and things that would you know.

688
00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:25,719
Speaker 1: Hurt her a lot.

689
00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:34,360
Speaker 3: Obviously. I've tried to explain, you know, like I guess

690
00:42:34,400 --> 00:42:39,600
Speaker 3: how how I feel with it, and that it really

691
00:42:39,640 --> 00:42:44,080
Speaker 3: doesn't have anything to do with her. But dide, I

692
00:42:44,080 --> 00:42:45,719
Speaker 3: honestly could just like ask her and put her on

693
00:42:45,760 --> 00:42:47,200
Speaker 3: the phone.

694
00:42:48,680 --> 00:42:50,239
Speaker 2: We can, we can, we can, we can leave her

695
00:42:50,280 --> 00:42:52,799
Speaker 2: out of it. But can I ask you? I want

696
00:42:52,800 --> 00:42:58,200
Speaker 2: to ask you another thing. Uh, why do you believe

697
00:42:58,320 --> 00:43:03,720
Speaker 2: that there is inherent morality in uh sexuality?

698
00:43:05,280 --> 00:43:09,120
Speaker 3: I don't think there's an inherent in sexuality itself. I

699
00:43:09,160 --> 00:43:14,040
Speaker 3: think it's I think, you know, like, sexuality is obviously

700
00:43:14,040 --> 00:43:16,480
Speaker 3: a gift from God. But I do believe that the

701
00:43:16,520 --> 00:43:19,760
Speaker 3: gift from God is for your person that you marry,

702
00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:24,319
Speaker 3: and it makes things like logically, if you're thinking about

703
00:43:24,920 --> 00:43:26,359
Speaker 3: this people as a whole, like I grew up with,

704
00:43:26,680 --> 00:43:29,239
Speaker 3: you know, my dad and my mom you know, had

705
00:43:29,320 --> 00:43:31,360
Speaker 3: sex before marriage and then they ended up having my brother,

706
00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:35,279
Speaker 3: which my brother is awesome, but it pulled them into

707
00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:38,480
Speaker 3: they felt coerced and forced to be in a marriage

708
00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:41,160
Speaker 3: that really did not work out, and my dad ended

709
00:43:41,200 --> 00:43:45,400
Speaker 3: up becoming very abusive and drunk. And it's like.

710
00:43:46,200 --> 00:43:51,280
Speaker 2: Well, that's like your parents felt coerced into a marriage

711
00:43:51,320 --> 00:43:52,839
Speaker 2: by the fact that they reproduced.

712
00:43:54,480 --> 00:43:55,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, and so well.

713
00:43:56,080 --> 00:44:00,640
Speaker 2: But but but I'm asking about like uh like like

714
00:44:00,640 --> 00:44:03,640
Speaker 2: like like take reproduction out of it, you know what

715
00:44:03,719 --> 00:44:07,600
Speaker 2: I mean, Like where where is the inherent? Where do

716
00:44:07,640 --> 00:44:12,200
Speaker 2: you see inherent? Where do you see immorality in because like, okay, wa,

717
00:44:12,200 --> 00:44:14,080
Speaker 2: Actually I'm curious about this, right, Like I know a

718
00:44:14,080 --> 00:44:16,680
Speaker 2: lot of Christians try to, like you know, they try

719
00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:22,600
Speaker 2: to like fucking like like ban birth control or condoms

720
00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:28,399
Speaker 2: or you know all that, and like why why is that? Where?

721
00:44:28,520 --> 00:44:32,120
Speaker 2: Where is the what's the logic behind that?

722
00:44:33,600 --> 00:44:34,799
Speaker 1: I would say that I have a.

723
00:44:36,560 --> 00:44:38,120
Speaker 3: Condoms and birth control itself.

724
00:44:38,120 --> 00:44:39,640
Speaker 1: I don't have.

725
00:44:39,640 --> 00:44:43,919
Speaker 3: Any direct personally, I don't have any beliefs on I've

726
00:44:44,000 --> 00:44:49,640
Speaker 3: used both, so I don't have any like negatives against that.

727
00:44:49,800 --> 00:44:55,160
Speaker 3: I would say, like I do have a particular idea

728
00:44:55,239 --> 00:44:58,759
Speaker 3: but like behind like abortion itself, but that's obviously political,

729
00:44:59,320 --> 00:45:03,000
Speaker 3: and so I don't know, ah, how much conversation that

730
00:45:03,400 --> 00:45:04,359
Speaker 3: we can have on that.

731
00:45:04,640 --> 00:45:06,919
Speaker 2: Well well well listen, listen, listen. Well let's talk about

732
00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:09,239
Speaker 2: I just like like I mean sex, It's like why,

733
00:45:09,480 --> 00:45:15,120
Speaker 2: like what's the immorality behind like just have like I

734
00:45:15,120 --> 00:45:21,800
Speaker 2: I because I'm I'm I think like with Christianity again,

735
00:45:22,040 --> 00:45:27,120
Speaker 2: like as an allegory for attempting to face and understand

736
00:45:27,120 --> 00:45:30,680
Speaker 2: and deal with the things that are unknown, makes a

737
00:45:30,680 --> 00:45:38,400
Speaker 2: lot of sense to me. But I think that like

738
00:45:39,120 --> 00:45:43,719
Speaker 2: there's certain things like, uh, there's certain things that are known, right,

739
00:45:43,760 --> 00:45:48,600
Speaker 2: which is that human beings are where our brains are

740
00:45:48,719 --> 00:45:52,839
Speaker 2: wired for us to just be crazy fuck machines and

741
00:45:52,880 --> 00:45:55,480
Speaker 2: like have sex all the time and like be like

742
00:45:55,520 --> 00:45:58,400
Speaker 2: so like it's like so so when someone like is

743
00:45:58,440 --> 00:46:00,319
Speaker 2: out like having sex with a bunch of people, like, yeah,

744
00:46:00,320 --> 00:46:05,240
Speaker 2: that makes that makes sense according to the empirical data

745
00:46:05,280 --> 00:46:08,120
Speaker 2: that we have on just the human brain, you know

746
00:46:08,120 --> 00:46:14,040
Speaker 2: what I mean, So like what is the what is

747
00:46:14,080 --> 00:46:19,799
Speaker 2: the the the the I guess the the philosophical opposition

748
00:46:19,960 --> 00:46:20,440
Speaker 2: to that.

749
00:46:21,800 --> 00:46:29,480
Speaker 3: No, yeah, I would just say very much that very

750
00:46:29,560 --> 00:46:33,879
Speaker 3: much is determined, just like just off the belief itself.

751
00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:36,680
Speaker 3: It's kind of like you you either feel it's like

752
00:46:36,719 --> 00:46:39,839
Speaker 3: two sides of a quint. Yeah, they feel like it's

753
00:46:39,880 --> 00:46:42,440
Speaker 3: like why, why, what's the wrong with me, you know,

754
00:46:42,520 --> 00:46:44,480
Speaker 3: doing this with this person and then going and doing

755
00:46:44,480 --> 00:46:47,799
Speaker 3: this with this person, or it's or it's like me

756
00:46:47,880 --> 00:46:52,720
Speaker 3: where I feel like I went from that and then changed,

757
00:46:53,680 --> 00:46:56,440
Speaker 3: you know, halfway through and then said no, I'm gonna

758
00:46:56,600 --> 00:46:59,960
Speaker 3: like try and practice celibacy and do that for my wife.

759
00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:02,080
Speaker 3: And I would say, at least for me from a

760
00:47:02,080 --> 00:47:11,120
Speaker 3: personal sense, the when I was going around and doing

761
00:47:11,200 --> 00:47:14,960
Speaker 3: everything I was doing and being safe with it obviously,

762
00:47:15,080 --> 00:47:25,040
Speaker 3: but you lose a sense of sitting down with someone,

763
00:47:25,280 --> 00:47:28,080
Speaker 3: I feel like for a long time. And I mean like,

764
00:47:28,680 --> 00:47:31,000
Speaker 3: I know people in relationships are like, Okay, well we

765
00:47:31,040 --> 00:47:34,440
Speaker 3: have sex before marriage, and I that's cool. But I

766
00:47:34,480 --> 00:47:38,000
Speaker 3: feel like the idea of marriage first really brings in,

767
00:47:40,120 --> 00:47:46,160
Speaker 3: like you are committed to this individual's totally Yeah.

768
00:47:46,200 --> 00:47:50,960
Speaker 2: I mean there's I think that, Yeah, if that's the

769
00:47:50,960 --> 00:47:54,000
Speaker 2: way that you want to run it, I think it's

770
00:47:54,080 --> 00:48:01,880
Speaker 2: totally legitimate. I think there's there's there's definitely something to that,

771
00:48:02,920 --> 00:48:05,360
Speaker 2: for sure. I think there's definitely something to that I

772
00:48:05,360 --> 00:48:10,319
Speaker 2: don't Yeah, I don't know. I don't know.

773
00:48:10,400 --> 00:48:12,919
Speaker 3: This is again, it's a loaded one for me too,

774
00:48:12,960 --> 00:48:16,480
Speaker 3: because I've like I've been on both sides of it,

775
00:48:16,880 --> 00:48:19,080
Speaker 3: you know, and so it's like I only can explain

776
00:48:19,200 --> 00:48:24,920
Speaker 3: personally how changing has made me feel significantly better about myself.

777
00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:28,160
Speaker 3: And you know, like I have my one person, I

778
00:48:28,200 --> 00:48:30,680
Speaker 3: have my wife that is like well and.

779
00:48:30,680 --> 00:48:32,800
Speaker 2: So well, this is well, this is the beauty of

780
00:48:32,840 --> 00:48:34,840
Speaker 2: the world that we live in. And also part of

781
00:48:34,880 --> 00:48:36,919
Speaker 2: the thing, one of one thing I've been thinking about

782
00:48:36,960 --> 00:48:42,520
Speaker 2: a lot lately is like, isn't it so fascinating that

783
00:48:43,640 --> 00:48:50,279
Speaker 2: different lifestyles and different philosophies and uh, you know, different

784
00:48:50,320 --> 00:48:56,760
Speaker 2: lifestyles and philosophies achieve different results in different people. You know. Yeah,

785
00:48:56,800 --> 00:48:59,120
Speaker 2: So i' mean, look, you went from, right, you went

786
00:48:59,200 --> 00:49:03,719
Speaker 2: from us letting it up around town to you know,

787
00:49:03,960 --> 00:49:08,400
Speaker 2: being a nice, married Christian man, and it seems as

788
00:49:08,440 --> 00:49:11,359
Speaker 2: though that is serving you and that's great. And then look,

789
00:49:11,400 --> 00:49:16,719
Speaker 2: there's probably fucking people who you know, became did the

790
00:49:16,760 --> 00:49:21,839
Speaker 2: opposite way from you, right, and that's serving them. And

791
00:49:21,880 --> 00:49:23,840
Speaker 2: that's actually one of the things I that's one of

792
00:49:23,880 --> 00:49:28,520
Speaker 2: the unknowns about life that I find truly fascinating is

793
00:49:29,080 --> 00:49:33,480
Speaker 2: that we do live in this world where all of

794
00:49:33,600 --> 00:49:39,239
Speaker 2: our consciousnesses are all wired differently and require different solutions

795
00:49:39,239 --> 00:49:45,480
Speaker 2: and different philosophies and different ways of being to be

796
00:49:45,560 --> 00:49:50,880
Speaker 2: compatible with them. I find that interesting. And I guess

797
00:49:51,080 --> 00:49:56,680
Speaker 2: the where things you know, I guess I guess where

798
00:49:56,719 --> 00:50:02,240
Speaker 2: people get pissed off at Christians is way or we're

799
00:50:02,400 --> 00:50:04,239
Speaker 2: honestly not even christ I'm not even Gonnay. I don't

800
00:50:04,239 --> 00:50:06,120
Speaker 2: want say Chritians or people get pissed off at really

801
00:50:06,160 --> 00:50:12,799
Speaker 2: anyone is where they attempt to espouse the philosophy or

802
00:50:12,800 --> 00:50:16,840
Speaker 2: the ideology that worked for them to be the one

803
00:50:16,880 --> 00:50:21,080
Speaker 2: true God. Like the idea of the one true God

804
00:50:22,520 --> 00:50:26,080
Speaker 2: is I think kind of douchey, because there's no if

805
00:50:26,120 --> 00:50:30,640
Speaker 2: there There can't we if we have such different wirings

806
00:50:30,640 --> 00:50:34,239
Speaker 2: in our consciousnesses such that you know, you can you

807
00:50:34,280 --> 00:50:37,080
Speaker 2: can be in a pollocule with five people and have

808
00:50:37,160 --> 00:50:40,319
Speaker 2: a rock and time uh. And you can also have

809
00:50:40,520 --> 00:50:42,560
Speaker 2: you know, the one person that you are is the

810
00:50:42,560 --> 00:50:45,759
Speaker 2: only person you have sex with uh forever and you

811
00:50:45,800 --> 00:50:48,399
Speaker 2: ever you have a rock and time doing that? You know?

812
00:50:48,800 --> 00:50:55,640
Speaker 2: Can there can there really be a a one true anything?

813
00:50:55,880 --> 00:51:00,080
Speaker 2: You can only really stand humbly before. I think. I

814
00:51:00,120 --> 00:51:02,440
Speaker 2: don't know. I guess you can only really stand humbly

815
00:51:02,560 --> 00:51:06,480
Speaker 2: before everyone and be like, hey, this is what I

816
00:51:06,560 --> 00:51:09,520
Speaker 2: think and what worked for me, and then period. And

817
00:51:09,560 --> 00:51:14,879
Speaker 2: then once you start being like, well, everyone should be polyamorous,

818
00:51:14,960 --> 00:51:21,080
Speaker 2: or everyone should be wait until marriage to have sex,

819
00:51:21,200 --> 00:51:23,040
Speaker 2: or everyone should be straight, or everyone should be this

820
00:51:23,200 --> 00:51:25,840
Speaker 2: or that is where you start pissing people off, because

821
00:51:25,840 --> 00:51:28,759
Speaker 2: that's that's incompatible with the world we live in.

822
00:51:29,320 --> 00:51:33,279
Speaker 3: You know, yeah, well that's that's absolutely true. I feel

823
00:51:33,320 --> 00:51:36,200
Speaker 3: like like, at least for me, if my beliefs like

824
00:51:36,239 --> 00:51:38,400
Speaker 3: I'm one.

825
00:51:38,280 --> 00:51:39,439
Speaker 1: I just I don't.

826
00:51:39,440 --> 00:51:41,560
Speaker 3: I wouldn't even say I feel like I'm religious. I

827
00:51:41,560 --> 00:51:44,040
Speaker 3: feel like a lot of religion, like you were saying,

828
00:51:44,239 --> 00:51:47,240
Speaker 3: says to do things. I feel like what I believe

829
00:51:47,280 --> 00:51:49,279
Speaker 3: in is like I feel like someone's explained this to

830
00:51:49,320 --> 00:51:53,160
Speaker 3: you before, but I just like, I just follow Jesus Man.

831
00:51:53,400 --> 00:51:56,560
Speaker 3: I do what I read the Bible and I hear

832
00:51:56,600 --> 00:51:58,719
Speaker 3: what it says, and I try to do that as

833
00:51:58,760 --> 00:52:01,160
Speaker 3: much as possible. But the idea behind that is that,

834
00:52:02,680 --> 00:52:06,319
Speaker 3: like at least in Romans how it explains you, you

835
00:52:06,400 --> 00:52:08,759
Speaker 3: are going to want to do the things that your

836
00:52:09,160 --> 00:52:14,080
Speaker 3: carnal nation, like your your flesh and what like you

837
00:52:14,080 --> 00:52:17,120
Speaker 3: were saying like we're machines, like we're we absolutely are.

838
00:52:17,200 --> 00:52:19,560
Speaker 3: You're going to want to do what your body is

839
00:52:19,640 --> 00:52:22,719
Speaker 3: just wanting to do, and if that makes you feel good,

840
00:52:22,800 --> 00:52:25,000
Speaker 3: then I mean that makes you feel good, and you're

841
00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:26,600
Speaker 3: going to do it either way. I'm not here to

842
00:52:26,640 --> 00:52:30,000
Speaker 3: tell you one way or the other. You know what

843
00:52:30,680 --> 00:52:32,640
Speaker 3: you should be doing. What I am going to say

844
00:52:32,719 --> 00:52:39,520
Speaker 3: is that at least from my change and what I've felt,

845
00:52:39,640 --> 00:52:46,799
Speaker 3: there's a crazy great sense of peace beyond what I've

846
00:52:46,800 --> 00:52:51,560
Speaker 3: felt with anything else. That it's like mastering one's self.

847
00:52:52,640 --> 00:52:56,880
Speaker 3: That's like the idea of going into your carnal nature

848
00:52:56,920 --> 00:53:00,560
Speaker 3: and just freaking I.

849
00:53:00,520 --> 00:53:02,920
Speaker 2: Go, oh yeah, sure, sure, I get I get what

850
00:53:02,960 --> 00:53:04,239
Speaker 2: you mean. I get what you mean. I get what

851
00:53:04,239 --> 00:53:04,560
Speaker 2: you mean.

852
00:53:05,160 --> 00:53:11,600
Speaker 1: You're not a hedonist, not gonna lie.

853
00:53:11,640 --> 00:53:12,720
Speaker 3: I don't know what that means.

854
00:53:13,080 --> 00:53:17,040
Speaker 2: Heist is like, Okay, so you're you. You You get

855
00:53:17,080 --> 00:53:21,560
Speaker 2: off upon the idea that you possess this higher human

856
00:53:21,640 --> 00:53:26,480
Speaker 2: consciousness that can wrangle and maintain and overcome and usurped

857
00:53:27,280 --> 00:53:33,000
Speaker 2: the pleasures of the flesh that are that that your

858
00:53:33,200 --> 00:53:38,160
Speaker 2: consciousness is is is uh a prison to in in

859
00:53:38,200 --> 00:53:42,600
Speaker 2: your physical human body. You know the temptations of fucking,

860
00:53:42,960 --> 00:53:48,120
Speaker 2: uh laughy taffy and and uh, marijuana and porn and

861
00:53:48,120 --> 00:53:51,200
Speaker 2: and but but you have this like higher human consciousness

862
00:53:51,200 --> 00:53:54,240
Speaker 2: that is attempting to break free from the flesh prison.

863
00:53:54,280 --> 00:53:59,120
Speaker 2: And you believe that, uh you you you can and

864
00:53:59,200 --> 00:54:05,360
Speaker 2: you will over overcome and usurped the Yeah, the cardinal

865
00:54:07,040 --> 00:54:11,759
Speaker 2: pleasures or whatever. Yeah, audenis a hedonist would would would

866
00:54:11,760 --> 00:54:16,360
Speaker 2: say the opposite. A hedonist would go, Actually, the cardinal

867
00:54:16,440 --> 00:54:20,839
Speaker 2: desires is the one true God, and the cardinal desires

868
00:54:21,280 --> 00:54:26,759
Speaker 2: are to be are to be indulged and enjoyed. And

869
00:54:26,760 --> 00:54:29,799
Speaker 2: that's we were put up. We are our our biology,

870
00:54:29,880 --> 00:54:34,879
Speaker 2: our instincts are correct. My instincts are telling me too,

871
00:54:36,480 --> 00:54:39,680
Speaker 2: to fuck as much as possible, and to eat as

872
00:54:39,760 --> 00:54:43,520
Speaker 2: much as possible, and to to to uh do this

873
00:54:43,640 --> 00:54:46,000
Speaker 2: and do That's what my biological is. This, My body

874
00:54:46,080 --> 00:54:50,240
Speaker 2: is fucking telling me to do. It's it's real, it's here,

875
00:54:50,480 --> 00:54:53,799
Speaker 2: it's present, it's voices must be correct, and therefore I

876
00:54:53,880 --> 00:54:59,040
Speaker 2: must indulge. And you know what, the hedonist and the

877
00:54:59,040 --> 00:55:06,959
Speaker 2: the the hedonist and the Christian, they both die never

878
00:55:07,080 --> 00:55:10,840
Speaker 2: knowing if they both died never knowing which one of

879
00:55:10,880 --> 00:55:15,040
Speaker 2: them was right. I guess they both have some intuitive

880
00:55:15,080 --> 00:55:18,640
Speaker 2: sense of how their lifestyle. They both have some intuitive

881
00:55:18,680 --> 00:55:24,880
Speaker 2: sense whether or not there. They both have some intuitive

882
00:55:24,920 --> 00:55:27,600
Speaker 2: sense of whether or not their lifestyle is working for them,

883
00:55:28,719 --> 00:55:36,560
Speaker 2: and occasionally they have varying levels of being in tune

884
00:55:36,680 --> 00:55:39,080
Speaker 2: with whether or not there. Yeah, their lifestyle is working

885
00:55:39,080 --> 00:55:43,360
Speaker 2: for them. But yeah, that's why I'm That's why the

886
00:55:43,400 --> 00:55:45,279
Speaker 2: more I think about the world and life and shit,

887
00:55:45,360 --> 00:55:50,720
Speaker 2: I just become more agnostic because there's so many people

888
00:55:50,719 --> 00:55:52,680
Speaker 2: in so many variables, and it's all too complex, and

889
00:55:52,719 --> 00:55:57,200
Speaker 2: so I submit to it and I play Mario Kart

890
00:55:57,239 --> 00:56:01,200
Speaker 2: and I have a good time. What's your what's your

891
00:56:01,840 --> 00:56:04,000
Speaker 2: what's your name? Malachi?

892
00:56:04,920 --> 00:56:05,319
Speaker 1: Yeah? Three.

893
00:56:09,000 --> 00:56:10,919
Speaker 2: I hope you're doing okay, man. I know it's really

894
00:56:11,040 --> 00:56:13,759
Speaker 2: uncomfortable to be thinking about all this stuff all the time.

895
00:56:14,000 --> 00:56:16,279
Speaker 2: I hope you joined the living. I hope you. I

896
00:56:16,320 --> 00:56:19,120
Speaker 2: want you to know something I thought I was and

897
00:56:19,160 --> 00:56:20,840
Speaker 2: who knows what the future is like for me. But

898
00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:24,440
Speaker 2: I've only felt great for like a little over a month.

899
00:56:25,920 --> 00:56:29,640
Speaker 2: But the fact I I I thought I was never

900
00:56:29,719 --> 00:56:32,120
Speaker 2: going to be able to live a life beyond that discomfort,

901
00:56:32,160 --> 00:56:34,920
Speaker 2: and now I, at least for the past month, I have,

902
00:56:36,360 --> 00:56:40,239
Speaker 2: and so I I sincerely wish you a lot of

903
00:56:40,440 --> 00:56:45,120
Speaker 2: uh uh hope and uh you know a lot of

904
00:56:45,120 --> 00:56:49,920
Speaker 2: love in uh returning back to a version of your

905
00:56:49,960 --> 00:56:53,200
Speaker 2: life where you don't feel in such great discomfort and

906
00:56:53,200 --> 00:56:56,200
Speaker 2: that you even feel grateful for the discomfort you went through.

907
00:56:57,440 --> 00:57:00,400
Speaker 3: Yes, I feel like I'm on I'm on the I

908
00:57:00,400 --> 00:57:03,200
Speaker 3: feel like I'm coming around it, Like I definitely like

909
00:57:03,480 --> 00:57:08,480
Speaker 3: I've almost tried to dive into my fear to overcome it,

910
00:57:08,560 --> 00:57:12,160
Speaker 3: if that makes sense. So I'm definitely I'm getting there.

911
00:57:12,920 --> 00:57:15,560
Speaker 3: I'm getting to the idea of, like you know, I'm

912
00:57:15,600 --> 00:57:18,120
Speaker 3: gonna do what I feel like in my beliefs and

913
00:57:18,160 --> 00:57:20,000
Speaker 3: try to be the best person as possible.

914
00:57:20,080 --> 00:57:20,920
Speaker 1: But also like.

915
00:57:22,640 --> 00:57:26,520
Speaker 3: I am an aunt, I also just wanted to play

916
00:57:26,520 --> 00:57:30,520
Speaker 3: Mario Kart and eat a freaking bag of doritosood so.

917
00:57:31,640 --> 00:57:36,600
Speaker 2: Well, which everyone you choose? I wish you good luck, Thanks, Grek.

918
00:57:37,640 --> 00:57:38,880
Speaker 2: Is there anything else you want to say? The people

919
00:57:38,880 --> 00:57:39,720
Speaker 2: the computer before we.

920
00:57:39,680 --> 00:57:49,480
Speaker 3: Go, Everyone says they're not prepared for this, and I

921
00:57:49,520 --> 00:57:50,760
Speaker 3: totally wasn't prepared.

922
00:57:50,400 --> 00:57:50,880
Speaker 1: For this, But.

923
00:57:53,080 --> 00:57:55,240
Speaker 2: You don't have to, Like, you can say no, you

924
00:57:55,280 --> 00:57:55,800
Speaker 2: can say no.

925
00:57:57,120 --> 00:57:58,680
Speaker 3: Well, I feel like I want to say yes, but

926
00:57:58,760 --> 00:58:01,640
Speaker 3: like I want a shameless plug. I'm a photographer, but

927
00:58:01,760 --> 00:58:05,280
Speaker 3: I also I hate doing that ship man, realistically, I

928
00:58:05,680 --> 00:58:09,120
Speaker 3: hate I hate being like, hey, this person you know

929
00:58:09,400 --> 00:58:11,160
Speaker 3: has people that could also see my stuff.

930
00:58:11,280 --> 00:58:13,400
Speaker 2: But you can do it. Yeah, I don't care. You

931
00:58:13,400 --> 00:58:15,840
Speaker 2: can do you can you can do whatever. You can

932
00:58:15,880 --> 00:58:17,560
Speaker 2: do whatever you want, but I'm gonna give you fifteen

933
00:58:17,640 --> 00:58:18,960
Speaker 2: seconds before I hang up on you.

934
00:58:20,120 --> 00:58:24,640
Speaker 3: Okay, uh, limitless dot portraits. If you want to see

935
00:58:24,680 --> 00:58:28,680
Speaker 3: some photos, I think that's cool. If not, I don't care.

936
00:58:29,040 --> 00:58:31,520
Speaker 3: Ghek bless you, gak bless them.

937
00:58:31,840 --> 00:58:44,040
Speaker 2: Thank you. Jeez, dear God, oh man, oh jeez, Rick.

938
00:58:45,400 --> 00:58:47,840
Speaker 2: That was cool. I liked that conversation. That was interesting.

939
00:58:51,440 --> 00:58:54,480
Speaker 2: It's hard to it's hard to have a podcast when

940
00:58:54,480 --> 00:58:56,440
Speaker 2: you're agnostic.

941
00:58:56,480 --> 00:58:56,800
Speaker 1: You have to.

942
00:58:58,440 --> 00:59:02,720
Speaker 2: Fucking whatever. Even even agnostics is a label, you know

943
00:59:02,760 --> 00:59:06,000
Speaker 2: what I mean. If you're truly agnostic, you can't even

944
00:59:06,120 --> 00:59:09,880
Speaker 2: you can't fucking be anything. It's hard because I feel

945
00:59:09,880 --> 00:59:13,240
Speaker 2: like having a podcast requires you to be very not agnostic.

946
00:59:13,760 --> 00:59:17,720
Speaker 2: Like the top podcasters in the world, they just they

947
00:59:17,760 --> 00:59:21,240
Speaker 2: just say stuff. You know, there's no question, there's no

948
00:59:22,120 --> 00:59:26,160
Speaker 2: eternal questioning. You just gotta say stuff. Maybe I should

949
00:59:26,160 --> 00:59:33,040
Speaker 2: start doing that, start saying things. I fully absolutely believe

950
00:59:33,520 --> 00:59:41,600
Speaker 2: that there is a in afterlife where I can play

951
00:59:41,680 --> 00:59:45,560
Speaker 2: Grand Theft Auto seven. No, I don't actually believe that,

952
00:59:46,440 --> 00:59:48,280
Speaker 2: but if I'm lucky, I'll get to play Grand Theft

953
00:59:48,320 --> 00:59:51,280
Speaker 2: Auto six. And I and and I by the way,

954
00:59:51,320 --> 00:59:53,800
Speaker 2: through everything, and you guys who listen to the podcast,

955
00:59:53,840 --> 00:59:59,840
Speaker 2: you guys know this, through everything, through all the existential whatever,

956
00:59:59,840 --> 01:00:02,520
Speaker 2: the through all the oh the Matrix and the God's

957
01:00:02,560 --> 01:00:06,520
Speaker 2: plan and blah blah blah, through everything. Who as long

958
01:00:06,560 --> 01:00:08,560
Speaker 2: as I get to play Grand Theft Auto six, I

959
01:00:08,600 --> 01:00:14,600
Speaker 2: don't give a fuck. Through everything, None of it matters.

960
01:00:15,640 --> 01:00:18,000
Speaker 2: Burn all the bibles. I just want to play Grand

961
01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:25,360
Speaker 2: Theft Auto six. That's all that matters. Hello, Hello, Hey,

962
01:00:25,400 --> 01:00:26,360
Speaker 2: what's your name? Brother?

963
01:00:27,200 --> 01:00:30,440
Speaker 1: Hey, my name's Quincy. Dude. I can't believe I've gone on.

964
01:00:30,560 --> 01:00:31,920
Speaker 1: I've called you so many times.

965
01:00:32,440 --> 01:00:36,760
Speaker 2: Quincy's a cool name. Quincy's like an old guy name,

966
01:00:36,840 --> 01:00:38,120
Speaker 2: but you sound like a young guy.

967
01:00:39,480 --> 01:00:42,120
Speaker 1: I am kind I like to think I'm still young.

968
01:00:42,120 --> 01:00:47,440
Speaker 1: I'm twenty eight, but you know, getting up there, I let's.

969
01:00:47,280 --> 01:00:52,560
Speaker 2: Talk about that. I'm twenty seven and I'm realizing that

970
01:00:52,640 --> 01:00:55,680
Speaker 2: you don't go back. We're only going forward. We're only

971
01:00:55,720 --> 01:01:00,520
Speaker 2: marching towards uh, you know whatever. And part of me

972
01:01:00,600 --> 01:01:02,720
Speaker 2: is was I spent a long part of this year

973
01:01:02,760 --> 01:01:07,240
Speaker 2: specifically being very terrified about that, but I'm coming to

974
01:01:07,360 --> 01:01:10,760
Speaker 2: accept it. I when I walk around I've probably talked

975
01:01:10,760 --> 01:01:12,680
Speaker 2: about this on the podcast a billion times already, but like,

976
01:01:12,720 --> 01:01:16,720
Speaker 2: walking around in New York is fun because you see

977
01:01:16,840 --> 01:01:19,760
Speaker 2: a lot of old people and they're they're living their

978
01:01:19,800 --> 01:01:23,040
Speaker 2: lives and doing things, and you know, it's like I'll

979
01:01:23,040 --> 01:01:25,960
Speaker 2: see like a fucking you know, guy in his fifties

980
01:01:26,000 --> 01:01:28,560
Speaker 2: and he's you know, he's he's out there, he's doing

981
01:01:28,560 --> 01:01:29,880
Speaker 2: his thing, he's living his life.

982
01:01:29,920 --> 01:01:34,840
Speaker 1: So it's uh and hopefully that's gonna be you dude, hopefully.

983
01:01:34,840 --> 01:01:36,520
Speaker 2: I hope. So, man, I hope. I'd love to make

984
01:01:36,560 --> 01:01:37,959
Speaker 2: it the eighty. If I can make it the eighty,

985
01:01:38,040 --> 01:01:39,000
Speaker 2: that would be cool, wouldn't it.

986
01:01:40,480 --> 01:01:43,280
Speaker 1: I dude, Honestly, I don't know. I like see so

987
01:01:43,360 --> 01:01:47,280
Speaker 1: many people that get to up that age like eighty. Honestly,

988
01:01:47,520 --> 01:01:50,200
Speaker 1: mid sixties, mid to late sixties. It seems like that's

989
01:01:50,200 --> 01:01:54,120
Speaker 1: when of all like the health stuff that's in and honestly,

990
01:01:54,240 --> 01:01:58,680
Speaker 1: if if something could take me out before I hit

991
01:01:58,800 --> 01:02:00,680
Speaker 1: like health issues to be sick.

992
01:02:01,320 --> 01:02:05,320
Speaker 2: Really, I but what about like, uh, I don't know. Uh,

993
01:02:05,480 --> 01:02:08,280
Speaker 2: what about mel Brooks? He's making space balls too, he's

994
01:02:08,360 --> 01:02:10,600
Speaker 2: ninety something, he's hanging in there.

995
01:02:10,760 --> 01:02:11,240
Speaker 3: Yeah.

996
01:02:11,240 --> 01:02:13,760
Speaker 2: What about the fucking the Six Flags guy? I know

997
01:02:13,840 --> 01:02:16,720
Speaker 2: he's not real, but he's based off an idea.

998
01:02:18,000 --> 01:02:19,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, you ain't lying, you ain't lying.

999
01:02:21,560 --> 01:02:25,720
Speaker 2: What were you gonna say just now? Oh?

1000
01:02:25,800 --> 01:02:28,200
Speaker 1: I was just gonna say, like, is that guy in

1001
01:02:28,320 --> 01:02:30,680
Speaker 1: good health like mel Brooks? Is he in good health

1002
01:02:30,760 --> 01:02:32,720
Speaker 1: making this movie? Oh?

1003
01:02:32,720 --> 01:02:35,000
Speaker 2: He'sn't good enough. He's in good enough health. I guess.

1004
01:02:36,120 --> 01:02:37,960
Speaker 1: I guess I just don't want to like you know,

1005
01:02:38,720 --> 01:02:42,200
Speaker 1: you know, life can be difficult at a young age,

1006
01:02:42,240 --> 01:02:46,400
Speaker 1: you know, mentally difficult, like hopefully by the time I

1007
01:02:46,480 --> 01:02:49,760
Speaker 1: hit that that age, like I've pushed past all the

1008
01:02:49,920 --> 01:02:53,000
Speaker 1: mentally difficult things. But then like I feel like it's

1009
01:02:53,040 --> 01:02:55,080
Speaker 1: a slap in the face. You push past the mental

1010
01:02:55,160 --> 01:02:58,400
Speaker 1: things and then life just smacks you with physical.

1011
01:03:01,400 --> 01:03:06,040
Speaker 2: It's true. Yes, you can never escape conflict of any kind.

1012
01:03:07,080 --> 01:03:09,800
Speaker 2: You will always be pushing some sort of boulder up

1013
01:03:09,800 --> 01:03:10,120
Speaker 2: a hill.

1014
01:03:12,880 --> 01:03:16,240
Speaker 1: Yeah. Sadly, I mean not sadly.

1015
01:03:15,480 --> 01:03:18,360
Speaker 2: Not sadly, not so well, I mean theoretically not sadly

1016
01:03:18,400 --> 01:03:21,040
Speaker 2: if you're a fucking monk or whatever. You know the uh,

1017
01:03:22,800 --> 01:03:25,360
Speaker 2: you know the myth of Sisyphis. We've talked about it

1018
01:03:25,400 --> 01:03:26,480
Speaker 2: on the podcast before.

1019
01:03:27,240 --> 01:03:31,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, okay, what that that's basically his punishment is

1020
01:03:31,120 --> 01:03:34,320
Speaker 1: just like always pushing that boulder uphill.

1021
01:03:34,360 --> 01:03:37,040
Speaker 2: He's always pushing a boulder up a hill, right, He's

1022
01:03:37,040 --> 01:03:40,080
Speaker 2: always pushing the Sisyphus. He did something to some guy

1023
01:03:40,160 --> 01:03:42,160
Speaker 2: and the thing guy made him push a boulder up

1024
01:03:42,160 --> 01:03:47,680
Speaker 2: a hill. And now, I mean that's I guess that's life,

1025
01:03:47,760 --> 01:03:49,880
Speaker 2: as you're constantly forced to push a boulder up a

1026
01:03:49,960 --> 01:03:52,880
Speaker 2: hill in some way, no matter who you are, because

1027
01:03:52,920 --> 01:03:56,280
Speaker 2: you are you're just you're a slave to the drudgery

1028
01:03:56,320 --> 01:04:00,680
Speaker 2: of the passage of time. But because pushed, But you

1029
01:04:00,760 --> 01:04:05,480
Speaker 2: gotta you gotta imagine that Sisyphus is happily engaging in

1030
01:04:05,560 --> 01:04:07,520
Speaker 2: the task of pushing the boulder up the hill. I

1031
01:04:07,560 --> 01:04:10,120
Speaker 2: only bring this up because I post I posted some

1032
01:04:10,320 --> 01:04:15,760
Speaker 2: clip about I don't know if people remember the firefighter

1033
01:04:15,760 --> 01:04:18,920
Speaker 2: who called in and talked about how.

1034
01:04:18,640 --> 01:04:21,840
Speaker 1: He uh the volunteer firefighter.

1035
01:04:22,080 --> 01:04:26,520
Speaker 2: Volunteer firefighter talked about how he lives life out of

1036
01:04:26,560 --> 01:04:29,320
Speaker 2: existential spite, where he said he He said he feels like

1037
01:04:29,400 --> 01:04:34,320
Speaker 2: Charlie Brown because Charlie Brown is always having optimism and

1038
01:04:34,360 --> 01:04:38,959
Speaker 2: then having his optimism return uh defeated, and then having

1039
01:04:38,960 --> 01:04:41,760
Speaker 2: optimistic again, and he's stuck in that cycle. I posted

1040
01:04:41,760 --> 01:04:45,360
Speaker 2: a clip somebody on YouTube shorts commented saying, one must

1041
01:04:45,360 --> 01:04:50,560
Speaker 2: imagine Charlie Brown as happy as a reference to one

1042
01:04:50,600 --> 01:04:53,840
Speaker 2: must imagine Sisyphus is happy. And I thought that was

1043
01:04:53,920 --> 01:04:59,600
Speaker 2: really funny. Anyway, Quincy, Quincy, what's up?

1044
01:04:59,640 --> 01:04:59,760
Speaker 3: Man?

1045
01:04:59,840 --> 01:05:01,920
Speaker 2: Is there something you called in? Do want to talk about?

1046
01:05:03,360 --> 01:05:06,080
Speaker 1: Honestly, dude, I've called them so many times. There's so

1047
01:05:06,240 --> 01:05:09,280
Speaker 1: many things that I'd like to talk about with you,

1048
01:05:09,360 --> 01:05:11,680
Speaker 1: But like I think, I just want to talk about

1049
01:05:11,720 --> 01:05:15,080
Speaker 1: what's going on today, please, Like I'm just I'm sitting

1050
01:05:15,120 --> 01:05:20,800
Speaker 1: at home. I'm actually tonight, I'm like hosting for like

1051
01:05:21,200 --> 01:05:25,120
Speaker 1: I don't know, ten to fifteen people, and I've like

1052
01:05:25,680 --> 01:05:29,480
Speaker 1: I've never hosted a single thing in my life, and like,

1053
01:05:30,480 --> 01:05:32,440
Speaker 1: I don't I don't know what it is. I don't

1054
01:05:32,560 --> 01:05:36,200
Speaker 1: like having people inside of my house. Like it's it's

1055
01:05:36,240 --> 01:05:39,480
Speaker 1: like my bubble, you know what I mean. So like

1056
01:05:39,640 --> 01:05:44,240
Speaker 1: inviting people inside of my home feels like this huge thing.

1057
01:05:47,720 --> 01:05:48,960
Speaker 2: Why are you doing it?

1058
01:05:51,240 --> 01:05:56,080
Speaker 1: So okay, why am I doing it? Because so not

1059
01:05:56,240 --> 01:06:02,520
Speaker 1: that long ago, me and my old lady met another

1060
01:06:02,640 --> 01:06:06,000
Speaker 1: couple that like they always invite us over to go

1061
01:06:06,080 --> 01:06:08,680
Speaker 1: do stuff, Like they always host stuff at their house.

1062
01:06:09,240 --> 01:06:12,120
Speaker 1: They always like to like invite us to go do stuff.

1063
01:06:12,440 --> 01:06:15,240
Speaker 1: So I kind of feel like I need to in

1064
01:06:15,280 --> 01:06:20,200
Speaker 1: some sense put effort into you know, this friendship that

1065
01:06:20,280 --> 01:06:23,880
Speaker 1: we have by inviting them into my home and you know,

1066
01:06:24,360 --> 01:06:25,840
Speaker 1: taking my turn hosting.

1067
01:06:28,120 --> 01:06:31,200
Speaker 2: But it's fifth why but you're not You're not having

1068
01:06:31,240 --> 01:06:33,120
Speaker 2: like a couple over for dinner. You know, you're doing

1069
01:06:33,200 --> 01:06:35,760
Speaker 2: like a fucking fifteen person party.

1070
01:06:36,680 --> 01:06:40,160
Speaker 1: Well yeah, yeah, See I have this issue with like

1071
01:06:41,160 --> 01:06:44,200
Speaker 1: I can't do anything, like I can't just like dip

1072
01:06:44,240 --> 01:06:46,880
Speaker 1: my toe into like we'll invite these people over. See

1073
01:06:46,880 --> 01:06:49,480
Speaker 1: how that goes. I have to do like the We'll

1074
01:06:49,520 --> 01:06:51,880
Speaker 1: invite a bunch of people over and then I'm gonna

1075
01:06:51,920 --> 01:06:54,840
Speaker 1: be stressed out on like but it'll be fine because

1076
01:06:55,200 --> 01:06:58,600
Speaker 1: because I know like once I do it, it'll be okay.

1077
01:06:58,800 --> 01:07:01,640
Speaker 1: But like it's just get to that point of actually

1078
01:07:02,320 --> 01:07:04,600
Speaker 1: doing it, And.

1079
01:07:07,320 --> 01:07:08,760
Speaker 2: Why what are you stressed out about?

1080
01:07:10,640 --> 01:07:13,280
Speaker 1: I don't know, they're like people in my house and

1081
01:07:13,400 --> 01:07:16,120
Speaker 1: like maybe they might let my cats out. Maybe they

1082
01:07:16,200 --> 01:07:18,480
Speaker 1: might judge the way that I live.

1083
01:07:21,320 --> 01:07:24,200
Speaker 2: Well fuck them if they judge the way that you live.

1084
01:07:24,680 --> 01:07:26,880
Speaker 2: Do you like these people that you're having in your house?

1085
01:07:27,760 --> 01:07:29,840
Speaker 1: Yeah? Absolutely do so?

1086
01:07:30,560 --> 01:07:33,960
Speaker 2: Then do you whantn't you enjoy having them over?

1087
01:07:35,920 --> 01:07:39,440
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm going to when it's actually happening,

1088
01:07:39,800 --> 01:07:42,600
Speaker 1: but the moment's leading up until you know, you have

1089
01:07:42,720 --> 01:07:45,880
Speaker 1: too much time to like think about stuff.

1090
01:07:47,400 --> 01:07:53,000
Speaker 2: Sure, sure, I don't understand this. This this makes no sense.

1091
01:07:53,040 --> 01:07:54,880
Speaker 2: You're having a party with a bunch of your friends.

1092
01:07:55,600 --> 01:07:56,520
Speaker 2: You should be excited.

1093
01:07:58,160 --> 01:08:00,160
Speaker 1: Well, Like, I don't want to make it sound like

1094
01:08:00,200 --> 01:08:02,520
Speaker 1: I'm not, because I am. But at the same time,

1095
01:08:02,640 --> 01:08:06,560
Speaker 1: I'm just like, I don't know. I guess I'm not

1096
01:08:06,800 --> 01:08:10,840
Speaker 1: always like the center of attention, and I feel like

1097
01:08:11,920 --> 01:08:14,200
Speaker 1: being that at at my house I have to like

1098
01:08:14,840 --> 01:08:18,400
Speaker 1: do the whole song and dance of like entertaining and stuff.

1099
01:08:20,320 --> 01:08:22,320
Speaker 2: What how does your wife feel about it?

1100
01:08:23,600 --> 01:08:27,519
Speaker 1: I think she is fine with it, Honestly, I don't

1101
01:08:27,520 --> 01:08:29,000
Speaker 1: think she cares much.

1102
01:08:30,080 --> 01:08:32,960
Speaker 2: Okay, well, uh, well, what kind of what kind of

1103
01:08:33,000 --> 01:08:34,400
Speaker 2: food are you going to have for these people?

1104
01:08:35,680 --> 01:08:39,480
Speaker 1: I'm uh, you know, doing the good old us a cookout,

1105
01:08:39,680 --> 01:08:41,840
Speaker 1: having you know hot hamburger.

1106
01:08:42,000 --> 01:08:44,200
Speaker 2: Oh, so you keep it everyone outside? This is an

1107
01:08:44,200 --> 01:08:45,160
Speaker 2: outside ordeal.

1108
01:08:46,760 --> 01:08:48,960
Speaker 1: Well, uh, that was the plan.

1109
01:08:49,040 --> 01:08:50,200
Speaker 2: But do you have a lot? Do you have a lot?

1110
01:08:50,360 --> 01:08:51,519
Speaker 2: Do you have a do you have a yard or

1111
01:08:51,560 --> 01:08:52,360
Speaker 2: a lawn or something?

1112
01:08:53,600 --> 01:08:57,040
Speaker 1: Yeah? I have like a small like backpath, Like it's

1113
01:08:57,080 --> 01:08:59,400
Speaker 1: not small. I have a back patio that's got like

1114
01:08:59,400 --> 01:09:00,479
Speaker 1: a backyard and stuff.

1115
01:09:00,520 --> 01:09:03,360
Speaker 2: So can you can you fit fifteen people in that

1116
01:09:03,400 --> 01:09:04,000
Speaker 2: back patio?

1117
01:09:05,200 --> 01:09:05,360
Speaker 5: Oh?

1118
01:09:05,439 --> 01:09:08,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, then here's what you do. This is okay,

1119
01:09:08,040 --> 01:09:10,880
Speaker 2: here's what you do. Don't fucking let anyone inside the house?

1120
01:09:11,800 --> 01:09:13,840
Speaker 2: Is can you get people? Can you get people to

1121
01:09:14,040 --> 01:09:18,920
Speaker 2: the yard without having to go through the house. Yes, okay, great,

1122
01:09:19,400 --> 01:09:23,080
Speaker 2: don't let anyone inside the house. Okay if they have

1123
01:09:23,160 --> 01:09:25,680
Speaker 2: to use the bathroom, then then sure, if they have

1124
01:09:25,720 --> 01:09:29,240
Speaker 2: to use the bathroom. But you guide people to the backyard,

1125
01:09:30,000 --> 01:09:33,360
Speaker 2: and then you focus only on the yard because right

1126
01:09:33,400 --> 01:09:34,840
Speaker 2: now you're stressed out about it. Oh, are they gonna

1127
01:09:34,880 --> 01:09:37,280
Speaker 2: let the cats out? Are they gonna h judge the

1128
01:09:37,760 --> 01:09:40,479
Speaker 2: crap I have on my walls? But you gotta maintain

1129
01:09:40,520 --> 01:09:43,240
Speaker 2: the sanctity of your home by not letting these people

1130
01:09:43,280 --> 01:09:45,920
Speaker 2: in it. You just focus on the yard. It'll take

1131
01:09:46,000 --> 01:09:49,599
Speaker 2: all your stress right now, your stress is permeating throughout

1132
01:09:49,600 --> 01:09:52,320
Speaker 2: the whole house. You only need to be stressed out

1133
01:09:52,320 --> 01:09:57,120
Speaker 2: about the yard. That makes sense, makes sense.

1134
01:09:57,000 --> 01:10:00,880
Speaker 1: You know what, it does make sense. But it was

1135
01:10:00,960 --> 01:10:04,000
Speaker 1: gonna be a nice day, but then you know, that

1136
01:10:04,200 --> 01:10:07,240
Speaker 1: kind of changed. So now it's a little damp outside,

1137
01:10:07,280 --> 01:10:07,960
Speaker 1: you know what I mean?

1138
01:10:08,240 --> 01:10:09,160
Speaker 2: How damp we talking?

1139
01:10:10,400 --> 01:10:11,200
Speaker 5: Uh?

1140
01:10:11,280 --> 01:10:15,400
Speaker 1: Right now it's not raining, but they are talking about thunderstorms.

1141
01:10:15,479 --> 01:10:16,720
Speaker 2: You're talking without thunderstorms.

1142
01:10:18,600 --> 01:10:20,639
Speaker 1: Yeah, does that mean I should cancel?

1143
01:10:20,800 --> 01:10:26,160
Speaker 2: I think you should. Well, I think that, I think that.

1144
01:10:25,360 --> 01:10:28,800
Speaker 2: I think I think that in combination with the fact

1145
01:10:28,840 --> 01:10:30,960
Speaker 2: that you really don't want to do it, means you

1146
01:10:30,960 --> 01:10:38,080
Speaker 2: should cancel. I think that, in combination with the fact

1147
01:10:38,080 --> 01:10:42,400
Speaker 2: that you're severely dreading this event, could be a good

1148
01:10:42,400 --> 01:10:45,639
Speaker 2: reason to cancel. Yeah, what's you gonna have everyone inside

1149
01:10:45,640 --> 01:10:47,679
Speaker 2: your fucking house while it's thunderstorming out?

1150
01:10:48,400 --> 01:10:50,439
Speaker 1: I mean, if it come, what will I do? Just

1151
01:10:50,479 --> 01:10:53,599
Speaker 1: be like? Yeah, sorry, guys, like you're gonna you either

1152
01:10:54,160 --> 01:10:57,240
Speaker 1: enjoy getting wet and eating food out some song et

1153
01:10:57,479 --> 01:10:59,360
Speaker 1: ass food outside.

1154
01:10:58,960 --> 01:11:03,240
Speaker 2: But bro, just can't just cancel the party if it's raining,

1155
01:11:03,640 --> 01:11:05,599
Speaker 2: you don't want to do it, What are you doing?

1156
01:11:05,640 --> 01:11:07,880
Speaker 2: Why do you just cancel the party? I gotta fucking

1157
01:11:10,040 --> 01:11:12,479
Speaker 2: some what I was gonna go to some party someone

1158
01:11:12,560 --> 01:11:16,080
Speaker 2: canceled the other week. It was fine, nothing bad happened.

1159
01:11:16,080 --> 01:11:16,880
Speaker 2: I forgot about it.

1160
01:11:17,960 --> 01:11:20,160
Speaker 1: How last minute cancelation was it?

1161
01:11:20,200 --> 01:11:23,040
Speaker 2: So it was maybe one or two days?

1162
01:11:23,680 --> 01:11:27,160
Speaker 1: Yeah? See this is like, you know, a couple like

1163
01:11:27,240 --> 01:11:28,200
Speaker 1: two hours.

1164
01:11:28,479 --> 01:11:30,440
Speaker 2: Wait, wait, this is happening in two hours?

1165
01:11:31,200 --> 01:11:33,160
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, this is going down.

1166
01:11:33,520 --> 01:11:37,599
Speaker 2: It's fifteen people two hours. Ye yeah, Okay, I guess

1167
01:11:37,600 --> 01:11:39,479
Speaker 2: you can't really cancel it. I mean you can you go, yeah,

1168
01:11:39,520 --> 01:11:41,080
Speaker 2: you can do whatever you want. You know that, right,

1169
01:11:41,120 --> 01:11:44,320
Speaker 2: it's completely there's no point. No one cares. No one

1170
01:11:44,439 --> 01:11:49,559
Speaker 2: cares about you enough for your actions to matter in

1171
01:11:49,600 --> 01:11:51,880
Speaker 2: any real, genuine way, shape or for him. And you

1172
01:11:51,880 --> 01:11:53,280
Speaker 2: could say that about kind of anyone.

1173
01:11:54,680 --> 01:11:57,080
Speaker 1: Well yeah absolutely, maybe.

1174
01:11:56,920 --> 01:12:00,240
Speaker 2: Not really, I don't know. I just said that Eaven

1175
01:12:00,320 --> 01:12:04,320
Speaker 2: a little bit. You could probably be the like, I

1176
01:12:04,320 --> 01:12:07,240
Speaker 2: don't know, that's just that's just nihilism talking. But it's

1177
01:12:07,439 --> 01:12:16,080
Speaker 2: it's a little true. Quincy, Quincy, what do you? What

1178
01:12:16,080 --> 01:12:20,000
Speaker 2: do you? What's the food situation? Pizza cooking? Are you cooking?

1179
01:12:21,200 --> 01:12:21,360
Speaker 1: Oh?

1180
01:12:21,400 --> 01:12:25,400
Speaker 2: I'm cooking, like I got cooking for fifteen people you

1181
01:12:25,520 --> 01:12:28,400
Speaker 2: really like made this so much harder for yourself than

1182
01:12:28,439 --> 01:12:28,920
Speaker 2: I had to be.

1183
01:12:30,040 --> 01:12:33,559
Speaker 1: Well, you know, I like the I like to just

1184
01:12:33,680 --> 01:12:36,120
Speaker 1: torture myself a little bit at a time, you know

1185
01:12:36,120 --> 01:12:36,439
Speaker 1: what I mean.

1186
01:12:36,640 --> 01:12:39,160
Speaker 2: You were gonna say, you were gonna say you like

1187
01:12:39,280 --> 01:12:41,360
Speaker 2: to cook, in which case I'd be like, that's wonderful.

1188
01:12:42,280 --> 01:12:43,760
Speaker 2: But the other part do not?

1189
01:12:44,200 --> 01:12:47,680
Speaker 1: I do? I do? But I don't know, man, I

1190
01:12:47,760 --> 01:12:49,599
Speaker 1: say it's one of those things for like, I have

1191
01:12:49,720 --> 01:12:53,000
Speaker 1: anxiety about it. But I have always kind of wanted

1192
01:12:53,040 --> 01:12:56,439
Speaker 1: to be like that guy that's like, oh, come on in,

1193
01:12:56,720 --> 01:12:59,719
Speaker 1: come on over, and like I'll do We'll do stuff,

1194
01:13:00,000 --> 01:13:02,679
Speaker 1: hang out, like have a big bar, have a cook out,

1195
01:13:02,960 --> 01:13:04,200
Speaker 1: but like I just never.

1196
01:13:05,400 --> 01:13:08,120
Speaker 2: But you're not you know, you're not that guy.

1197
01:13:10,800 --> 01:13:14,680
Speaker 1: So let me ask you this, Yeah, wile, yes, do

1198
01:13:14,760 --> 01:13:20,240
Speaker 1: you think that like exposure therapy is good or bad?

1199
01:13:20,360 --> 01:13:24,280
Speaker 2: Because like that, I think it's good. I think it's good.

1200
01:13:24,320 --> 01:13:26,000
Speaker 2: Don't listen to me. I think it's good. I think

1201
01:13:26,000 --> 01:13:27,560
Speaker 2: it's good. I think you should have your party. I

1202
01:13:27,640 --> 01:13:29,479
Speaker 2: think I think by the I think I think you're gonna.

1203
01:13:29,479 --> 01:13:31,880
Speaker 2: I think you should have your party, and I think

1204
01:13:31,880 --> 01:13:34,200
Speaker 2: it'll be fine and you'll have a fun time, and

1205
01:13:34,200 --> 01:13:36,080
Speaker 2: then you'll be like, all right, cool, we can maybe

1206
01:13:36,120 --> 01:13:38,639
Speaker 2: we'll do that again. It's never going to be stressed.

1207
01:13:40,320 --> 01:13:43,639
Speaker 1: Well hopefully you know, maybe something while it happens, who knows,

1208
01:13:43,880 --> 01:13:46,920
Speaker 1: but well, we'll think positive thoughts on.

1209
01:13:46,920 --> 01:13:50,000
Speaker 2: This one, Quincy, Is there anything else you want to

1210
01:13:50,000 --> 01:13:51,639
Speaker 2: say to the people of the computer before we go?

1211
01:13:53,680 --> 01:13:57,280
Speaker 1: Get bless you guys? Honestly, this this was this made

1212
01:13:57,320 --> 01:13:59,639
Speaker 1: my whole day. Whether I cancel it or I have it,

1213
01:13:59,720 --> 01:14:02,200
Speaker 1: just be able to talk to you with sweet dude, Hey.

1214
01:14:02,520 --> 01:14:04,040
Speaker 2: Let me the next time you're having it. I want

1215
01:14:04,080 --> 01:14:06,560
Speaker 2: to come. Wait where do you live? You don't have

1216
01:14:06,600 --> 01:14:09,200
Speaker 2: to give me your thing in Pennsylvania?

1217
01:14:09,280 --> 01:14:11,639
Speaker 1: Want Yeah, you want my social too.

1218
01:14:12,000 --> 01:14:13,479
Speaker 2: What part of Pennsylvania are you in?

1219
01:14:14,640 --> 01:14:16,560
Speaker 1: Soutful? I'm outside of Pittsburgh.

1220
01:14:16,720 --> 01:14:18,320
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, no, I'm probably I'm never going to

1221
01:14:18,360 --> 01:14:19,280
Speaker 2: come to your house ever.

1222
01:14:20,200 --> 01:14:22,040
Speaker 1: Wh dude, you don't like Pittsburgh.

1223
01:14:22,400 --> 01:14:25,920
Speaker 2: No, it's what I you That's I don't like when

1224
01:14:25,920 --> 01:14:29,080
Speaker 2: people say that I don't like. There's nothing I've loved Pittsburgh.

1225
01:14:29,080 --> 01:14:30,640
Speaker 2: I think Pittsburgh is awesome, but I'm not going to

1226
01:14:30,920 --> 01:14:32,439
Speaker 2: go there to go to your house.

1227
01:14:33,360 --> 01:14:37,840
Speaker 1: Well that's good. It's a fair enough point. Well, Gek,

1228
01:14:38,160 --> 01:14:40,000
Speaker 1: I appreciate you taking my phone call.

1229
01:14:40,120 --> 01:14:42,759
Speaker 2: Thank you, Quincy, Quincy. I hope you have a good party.

1230
01:14:42,760 --> 01:14:44,840
Speaker 2: Don't let don't don't stress yourself out. It will be

1231
01:14:44,840 --> 01:14:45,360
Speaker 2: a good time.

1232
01:14:47,120 --> 01:14:49,680
Speaker 1: I'll do my best, beautiful.

1233
01:14:50,200 --> 01:14:51,519
Speaker 2: Wait, what do you wait? What are you cooking? You

1234
01:14:51,520 --> 01:14:52,479
Speaker 2: never said what you were cooking?

1235
01:14:53,479 --> 01:14:56,320
Speaker 1: Oh, I told you I was doing like hot dogs, hamburgers.

1236
01:14:56,439 --> 01:14:58,360
Speaker 1: I made some like oh.

1237
01:14:58,320 --> 01:15:00,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh right, yeah, I'm sorry. Yeah, you to tell

1238
01:15:00,240 --> 01:15:01,880
Speaker 2: me that. Yeah, yeah, you got a barbecue. Wait, this

1239
01:15:01,880 --> 01:15:03,439
Speaker 2: is gonna be awesome. Well, actually I might come to

1240
01:15:03,439 --> 01:15:05,400
Speaker 2: Pittsburgh to come to your house. I can't make it

1241
01:15:05,439 --> 01:15:07,160
Speaker 2: in two hours, though, but if you have another one.

1242
01:15:08,560 --> 01:15:12,000
Speaker 1: Maybe, I mean, if you you know, I'll shoot you

1243
01:15:12,080 --> 01:15:13,479
Speaker 1: a d M a couple of weeks and you know,

1244
01:15:13,520 --> 01:15:14,799
Speaker 1: I'll give you like a month's notice.

1245
01:15:15,160 --> 01:15:17,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, better if I see.

1246
01:15:17,760 --> 01:15:20,680
Speaker 1: You're playing, like, if you're gonna gonna be doing a show, like,

1247
01:15:20,760 --> 01:15:24,360
Speaker 1: I'll just hit you up maybe the next day. How fast,

1248
01:15:24,720 --> 01:15:27,000
Speaker 1: hold on, before we go, how fast do you move

1249
01:15:27,360 --> 01:15:27,799
Speaker 1: to city?

1250
01:15:28,479 --> 01:15:30,800
Speaker 2: How fast do I move city to city?

1251
01:15:31,720 --> 01:15:42,720
Speaker 1: Yeah? Like when you're out, like when you're out doing shows.

1252
01:15:38,320 --> 01:15:40,000
Speaker 2: It always it kind of depends. It's just like, yeah,

1253
01:15:40,000 --> 01:15:46,040
Speaker 2: it always depends. There's no real like set time late.

1254
01:15:46,120 --> 01:15:47,880
Speaker 2: I think when I first started, I wanted to spend

1255
01:15:47,880 --> 01:15:51,920
Speaker 2: more time in each city, and now now I'm like,

1256
01:15:52,720 --> 01:15:55,479
Speaker 2: I'm enjoying. I'm enjoying being at home a little bit more.

1257
01:15:57,120 --> 01:15:59,640
Speaker 2: I get that by Quincy, you have a good time

1258
01:15:59,680 --> 01:16:08,360
Speaker 2: at your Thanks Gek. I wonder what kind of desserts

1259
01:16:08,400 --> 01:16:09,080
Speaker 2: he's gonna have.

1260
01:16:11,360 --> 01:16:12,560
Speaker 5: From Jerryanna?

1261
01:16:14,640 --> 01:16:15,040
Speaker 2: Hello?

1262
01:16:18,160 --> 01:16:20,280
Speaker 5: Hello, is this the Gek?

1263
01:16:20,840 --> 01:16:21,080
Speaker 1: Yes?

1264
01:16:21,200 --> 01:16:21,760
Speaker 2: Who is this?

1265
01:16:23,240 --> 01:16:28,080
Speaker 5: Oh? Snap, this is Jerryana Jerryanawa.

1266
01:16:29,360 --> 01:16:32,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, what's up, Jerryanna. How's it going?

1267
01:16:33,320 --> 01:16:39,120
Speaker 5: Hey man? The weekend? Just catching up on chores, boring

1268
01:16:39,200 --> 01:16:43,840
Speaker 5: shit like that. By the way, I h I like that.

1269
01:16:45,720 --> 01:16:47,640
Speaker 5: I mean I love all the conversations on here, but

1270
01:16:48,479 --> 01:16:53,800
Speaker 5: the one about you know, religion and marriage, and I

1271
01:16:53,920 --> 01:16:56,519
Speaker 5: just kind of wanted to follow up on that because

1272
01:16:57,680 --> 01:17:01,400
Speaker 5: it's just so important to our society nowadays. Love. You know,

1273
01:17:01,800 --> 01:17:06,200
Speaker 5: we need more to say now, but it's like, well, yeah,

1274
01:17:06,240 --> 01:17:06,920
Speaker 5: we do need it.

1275
01:17:07,600 --> 01:17:10,200
Speaker 2: What's what was your take on the on that conversation?

1276
01:17:11,240 --> 01:17:14,679
Speaker 5: Well, well, the Colors seemed like a really sweet guy

1277
01:17:14,960 --> 01:17:18,920
Speaker 5: and he was kind of like wasn't he kind of

1278
01:17:18,960 --> 01:17:22,439
Speaker 5: talking about monogamy and how he's kind of like a

1279
01:17:22,479 --> 01:17:24,400
Speaker 5: born again Christian something.

1280
01:17:25,280 --> 01:17:26,759
Speaker 2: I don't know if he was a born again Christian,

1281
01:17:26,760 --> 01:17:27,800
Speaker 2: but a little bit.

1282
01:17:27,880 --> 01:17:37,800
Speaker 5: Yeah, okay, okay, So I really believe in commitment to

1283
01:17:37,840 --> 01:17:40,720
Speaker 5: the person you love and at the same time, you know,

1284
01:17:41,000 --> 01:17:46,240
Speaker 5: two things can be true at the same time. Uh,

1285
01:17:46,479 --> 01:17:49,320
Speaker 5: just monogamy is just way too toxic. And no, I

1286
01:17:49,360 --> 01:17:52,800
Speaker 5: don't believe in collyamor it works for other people too,

1287
01:17:52,960 --> 01:17:55,000
Speaker 5: you know, but which the vibe.

1288
01:17:54,960 --> 01:17:55,160
Speaker 7: You know?

1289
01:17:57,520 --> 01:18:04,679
Speaker 5: But uh, the Modern day Philosopher, because you know, states

1290
01:18:04,680 --> 01:18:08,479
Speaker 5: of love and being, that's like, that's all the School

1291
01:18:08,520 --> 01:18:13,679
Speaker 5: of Life, right, Like you're talking about life being loved,

1292
01:18:14,200 --> 01:18:14,960
Speaker 5: shit like that.

1293
01:18:16,479 --> 01:18:16,680
Speaker 1: You know.

1294
01:18:17,280 --> 01:18:19,920
Speaker 5: Have you ever heard of the Modern day Philosopher? Then

1295
01:18:20,040 --> 01:18:20,719
Speaker 5: de patonce?

1296
01:18:21,640 --> 01:18:24,800
Speaker 2: No, I thought you were just talking about No, no,

1297
01:18:24,840 --> 01:18:26,400
Speaker 2: I haven't. Who are they?

1298
01:18:27,439 --> 01:18:28,639
Speaker 5: I know'm kind of all over the place.

1299
01:18:30,120 --> 01:18:32,599
Speaker 8: But well, he actually founded this.

1300
01:18:32,680 --> 01:18:35,280
Speaker 5: University that's like in several.

1301
01:18:37,120 --> 01:18:37,680
Speaker 3: Countries.

1302
01:18:38,840 --> 01:18:41,400
Speaker 5: I think there's one in Canada too, but it's called

1303
01:18:41,479 --> 01:18:45,519
Speaker 5: it literally called the School of Life. And he talks about,

1304
01:18:45,600 --> 01:18:49,439
Speaker 5: you know, when it comes to religion, we honestly we

1305
01:18:49,520 --> 01:18:54,440
Speaker 5: need to start cherry picking like the good things from it. Yeah,

1306
01:18:54,439 --> 01:18:58,080
Speaker 5: and so I'll get back to my whole point. I

1307
01:18:58,120 --> 01:19:01,559
Speaker 5: was going to get about monogamy and coxpic and stuff

1308
01:19:01,600 --> 01:19:05,200
Speaker 5: like that, but like cherry picking religion because what I

1309
01:19:05,280 --> 01:19:07,800
Speaker 5: found fascinating during COVID is like.

1310
01:19:07,760 --> 01:19:15,240
Speaker 7: I I I defaulted to practices in Islam without knowing it,

1311
01:19:15,640 --> 01:19:17,599
Speaker 7: and then when I realized, I was like, oh shit,

1312
01:19:18,560 --> 01:19:21,000
Speaker 7: you know, I'm definitely not Muslim, but this is very Muslim.

1313
01:19:22,120 --> 01:19:22,479
Speaker 5: How did you?

1314
01:19:22,960 --> 01:19:25,480
Speaker 2: How did you accidentally become Islamic?

1315
01:19:26,520 --> 01:19:30,000
Speaker 5: Man? It's so cool, Like I, you know, we're all

1316
01:19:30,040 --> 01:19:35,520
Speaker 5: stuck in our damn living quarters and or like scrambling

1317
01:19:35,680 --> 01:19:38,720
Speaker 5: for things to keep us entertained, you know, things to do,

1318
01:19:38,840 --> 01:19:42,120
Speaker 5: and we need a routine. Where's a routine? Right? And

1319
01:19:43,120 --> 01:19:46,280
Speaker 5: I was like, okay, I need to find a routine

1320
01:19:46,280 --> 01:19:49,160
Speaker 5: to be saying because I'm going insane. We're all going insane,

1321
01:19:49,400 --> 01:19:52,240
Speaker 5: and so I, you know, I'm like, okay, first thing,

1322
01:19:52,280 --> 01:19:55,519
Speaker 5: when I wake up in the morning, I'm just gonna stretch' stretch.

1323
01:19:56,400 --> 01:19:59,120
Speaker 5: Then the day starts passing, you're like, shit, still like

1324
01:20:00,280 --> 01:20:01,559
Speaker 5: cooped up here? What the hell?

1325
01:20:01,800 --> 01:20:02,000
Speaker 2: You know?

1326
01:20:02,120 --> 01:20:03,840
Speaker 5: You find something to do this or that, and then

1327
01:20:04,240 --> 01:20:06,679
Speaker 5: you're like and then you get into meditating a little

1328
01:20:06,680 --> 01:20:08,160
Speaker 5: bit here and there, and then I'm like, you know what,

1329
01:20:09,040 --> 01:20:10,880
Speaker 5: I need to stretch again?

1330
01:20:11,280 --> 01:20:11,559
Speaker 2: I need?

1331
01:20:11,680 --> 01:20:16,479
Speaker 5: And then throughout the day I found myself like doing

1332
01:20:16,520 --> 01:20:19,639
Speaker 5: the yoga pose. I think it's called like the something

1333
01:20:19,760 --> 01:20:21,560
Speaker 5: cat pose.

1334
01:20:22,360 --> 01:20:25,719
Speaker 8: Or the ah or like do you know what yoga poses?

1335
01:20:26,000 --> 01:20:26,320
Speaker 3: Do you know what?

1336
01:20:26,280 --> 01:20:26,639
Speaker 5: Anyway?

1337
01:20:27,640 --> 01:20:28,799
Speaker 2: Sure? Sure? Sure?

1338
01:20:31,160 --> 01:20:35,960
Speaker 5: Well okay, so kid yourself. You're on a yoga mat

1339
01:20:36,560 --> 01:20:41,280
Speaker 5: and you're sitting there and then you you curl over

1340
01:20:41,320 --> 01:20:45,000
Speaker 5: your knees with your arms stretched out but your legs

1341
01:20:45,040 --> 01:20:52,640
Speaker 5: are curled under you. Okay, that stretch. And then like

1342
01:20:52,760 --> 01:20:53,719
Speaker 5: have you ever done yoga?

1343
01:20:54,360 --> 01:20:55,719
Speaker 2: I've done yoga a couple of times.

1344
01:20:55,800 --> 01:20:58,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, damn it.

1345
01:20:59,040 --> 01:21:01,559
Speaker 5: I wish I knew the name anyways. So and then

1346
01:21:01,720 --> 01:21:05,680
Speaker 5: like my cat passed away a while that tragically for

1347
01:21:05,720 --> 01:21:07,640
Speaker 5: all these reasons. And so I was like doing my

1348
01:21:07,720 --> 01:21:10,559
Speaker 5: yoga stretches in front of in front of my little

1349
01:21:10,560 --> 01:21:13,519
Speaker 5: shrine to my cat. And then I'm like, and the

1350
01:21:13,520 --> 01:21:19,240
Speaker 5: in front of my fucking shrine for my freaking cat,

1351
01:21:20,000 --> 01:21:23,120
Speaker 5: Let me pray. Let me just like pray to my cat,

1352
01:21:23,200 --> 01:21:27,799
Speaker 5: who's like my heart, my freaking goddess, Like that's my goddess.

1353
01:21:27,880 --> 01:21:28,400
Speaker 3: Like that's.

1354
01:21:30,200 --> 01:21:31,560
Speaker 2: Well, why did you why do you? Why did you

1355
01:21:31,640 --> 01:21:34,840
Speaker 2: say that? Monogamy is toxic. I'm curious what your philosophy

1356
01:21:34,920 --> 01:21:35,360
Speaker 2: is on that.

1357
01:21:38,120 --> 01:21:40,439
Speaker 5: Well, I'm going to get back to that, but I

1358
01:21:40,520 --> 01:21:43,000
Speaker 5: just want to say about how, like how I got

1359
01:21:43,000 --> 01:21:46,639
Speaker 5: into like the practices of his mom.

1360
01:21:47,000 --> 01:21:50,559
Speaker 2: Okay, oh wait, sorry, you know what, I kind of

1361
01:21:50,560 --> 01:21:53,040
Speaker 2: lost the threat of our conversation in my head.

1362
01:21:53,200 --> 01:21:56,760
Speaker 5: And that's okay, because I'm talking about doing yoga whom

1363
01:21:56,920 --> 01:21:57,679
Speaker 5: the shrine of my cat.

1364
01:21:57,720 --> 01:22:01,360
Speaker 2: Okay, I forgot. Yeah, we're talking about how you came Islamic. Okay.

1365
01:22:02,000 --> 01:22:06,080
Speaker 5: Yeah, so I'm pound I'm gonna type egg. Got it.

1366
01:22:07,040 --> 01:22:10,120
Speaker 5: So I'm like, so while I'm doing.

1367
01:22:10,040 --> 01:22:11,840
Speaker 8: Yoga throughout the day and finding things to do, I

1368
01:22:11,880 --> 01:22:15,639
Speaker 8: start to pray after I do my little yoga cat stretch,

1369
01:22:15,720 --> 01:22:20,200
Speaker 8: pose and try and I do that like five times

1370
01:22:20,200 --> 01:22:20,920
Speaker 8: throughout the day.

1371
01:22:21,000 --> 01:22:23,240
Speaker 5: Early morning when when I wake up at five am,

1372
01:22:23,479 --> 01:22:26,280
Speaker 5: stretch pray a couple other times throughout the day, and

1373
01:22:26,280 --> 01:22:28,840
Speaker 5: by the time the end of the day, I do

1374
01:22:28,960 --> 01:22:31,439
Speaker 5: my stretch and pray like five six times. And that

1375
01:22:32,080 --> 01:22:36,960
Speaker 5: is actually the amount of times that Muslims pray. It's

1376
01:22:37,000 --> 01:22:41,040
Speaker 5: like a five or six. And I'm like and and.

1377
01:22:40,960 --> 01:22:43,639
Speaker 4: I because because I was like, oh, I'm just all.

1378
01:22:43,600 --> 01:22:45,719
Speaker 5: Of a sudden, I'm praying throughout the day to my cat,

1379
01:22:45,840 --> 01:22:50,240
Speaker 5: to shrine, my cat shrine, and I'm like, this seems.

1380
01:22:49,920 --> 01:22:52,040
Speaker 9: Like, wait, don't Muslims pray throughout the day?

1381
01:22:52,200 --> 01:22:53,840
Speaker 5: Two And I was like, how many times did you pray?

1382
01:22:53,840 --> 01:22:56,000
Speaker 5: And it was an exact amount of time and I

1383
01:22:56,040 --> 01:23:00,479
Speaker 5: was like, that's crazy. So and that but that really me.

1384
01:23:00,560 --> 01:23:05,160
Speaker 5: It centered me. And you know, from that chaos of

1385
01:23:05,200 --> 01:23:09,919
Speaker 5: the pandemic, I from their religion. You know, obviously I'm

1386
01:23:09,960 --> 01:23:11,880
Speaker 5: not Muslim. I was raised in like a Christian type

1387
01:23:11,880 --> 01:23:14,400
Speaker 5: of Methodist thing, which is still not even that, but

1388
01:23:14,960 --> 01:23:18,000
Speaker 5: you know, and anyways, the philosopher guys talking about Adam

1389
01:23:18,240 --> 01:23:22,080
Speaker 5: de Baton when he who when he was talking about

1390
01:23:22,120 --> 01:23:24,320
Speaker 5: you know, takes of being and religion, and he's like,

1391
01:23:24,320 --> 01:23:26,600
Speaker 5: you know, religion has a lot of great things in

1392
01:23:26,640 --> 01:23:30,799
Speaker 5: it that help us with the complexities of being human,

1393
01:23:31,880 --> 01:23:36,240
Speaker 5: you know, like if and so anyways, he said, cherry

1394
01:23:36,240 --> 01:23:41,080
Speaker 5: pick the good things. And so I love that about Islam,

1395
01:23:41,120 --> 01:23:46,120
Speaker 5: even though I don't believe in whole everything else that

1396
01:23:46,280 --> 01:23:47,320
Speaker 5: I don't understand about it.

1397
01:23:47,960 --> 01:23:54,880
Speaker 2: But yeah, yeah, yeah, that's yes. Actually you accidentally practiced Islam, I.

1398
01:23:54,920 --> 01:24:00,759
Speaker 5: Guess, yeah, yeah, And so okay, and so going back to, uh,

1399
01:24:01,520 --> 01:24:06,400
Speaker 5: how I find like monogamy toxic? Is that like even

1400
01:24:06,439 --> 01:24:11,000
Speaker 5: though the practice of committing yourself to someone is beautiful

1401
01:24:11,000 --> 01:24:14,400
Speaker 5: and needed, because I feel like love equals trust and respect.

1402
01:24:15,040 --> 01:24:17,519
Speaker 5: I mean, without that, what do you have? You know,

1403
01:24:17,560 --> 01:24:19,559
Speaker 5: if you don't trust the person, how can you really

1404
01:24:19,560 --> 01:24:22,280
Speaker 5: love them? If you don't respect them, how can you

1405
01:24:22,320 --> 01:24:28,680
Speaker 5: really love them? You got to have those two things?

1406
01:24:28,720 --> 01:24:29,160
Speaker 2: And so.

1407
01:24:31,400 --> 01:24:39,920
Speaker 4: Uh oh yeah, So anyways, and what were they saying about,

1408
01:24:40,200 --> 01:24:42,080
Speaker 4: uh oh yeah, monogamy being toxic.

1409
01:24:43,320 --> 01:24:48,519
Speaker 5: So even though you even though committing yourself to someone

1410
01:24:48,760 --> 01:24:51,559
Speaker 5: is really important, it's just.

1411
01:24:53,040 --> 01:24:57,720
Speaker 9: When you have children, you need to have more of

1412
01:24:57,760 --> 01:25:04,120
Speaker 9: a tribe than just one women, like raising.

1413
01:25:03,800 --> 01:25:08,680
Speaker 5: All these kids. Yeah, well, it takes a village. And

1414
01:25:08,720 --> 01:25:12,080
Speaker 5: the thing is about modern day society is obviously the

1415
01:25:12,160 --> 01:25:13,920
Speaker 5: village is not right down the street. You got to

1416
01:25:14,000 --> 01:25:15,759
Speaker 5: drive here and there, and then so you have kids

1417
01:25:15,800 --> 01:25:19,280
Speaker 5: growing up in these nuclear households that so many of

1418
01:25:19,360 --> 01:25:24,320
Speaker 5: us have experience without the grand parent down the street.

1419
01:25:24,360 --> 01:25:26,360
Speaker 5: And and thank god, you know, some of us walked

1420
01:25:26,400 --> 01:25:28,360
Speaker 5: out and did have those family members down the street,

1421
01:25:28,360 --> 01:25:31,559
Speaker 5: which is great, but it's like becoming more and more

1422
01:25:31,720 --> 01:25:38,719
Speaker 5: rare and like with that you know, mental health. Obviously

1423
01:25:38,800 --> 01:25:42,400
Speaker 5: nowadays we're seeing with the pinnacle of narcissism of Trump

1424
01:25:43,720 --> 01:25:46,519
Speaker 5: is so important and we don't have any policies to

1425
01:25:46,600 --> 01:25:50,240
Speaker 5: keep these people out and anyway, so you have kids

1426
01:25:50,320 --> 01:25:52,759
Speaker 5: being raised by just one person, not getting the eye

1427
01:25:52,800 --> 01:25:58,519
Speaker 5: contact that they need to have a healthy core self.

1428
01:26:00,080 --> 01:26:02,760
Speaker 5: And sure, I'm you know, I think, like a lot

1429
01:26:02,800 --> 01:26:05,280
Speaker 5: of us, we read up on narcissism and things because

1430
01:26:05,280 --> 01:26:10,920
Speaker 5: it's just so bad nowadays, which is an understatement, and

1431
01:26:11,479 --> 01:26:15,839
Speaker 5: it talks about to have a healthy human psyche.

1432
01:26:16,200 --> 01:26:19,479
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, you need, you need yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

1433
01:26:19,560 --> 01:26:22,559
Speaker 2: I'm with you. I I I agree, I agree with

1434
01:26:22,640 --> 01:26:25,880
Speaker 2: I agree with the sentiment that you know, I think,

1435
01:26:26,040 --> 01:26:29,599
Speaker 2: uh sorry, I'm I've just been I think I'm losing

1436
01:26:29,640 --> 01:26:32,639
Speaker 2: conversational steam. I think. You know what it is, every

1437
01:26:32,760 --> 01:26:39,040
Speaker 2: every every podcast I have the every podcast, I have

1438
01:26:39,120 --> 01:26:44,240
Speaker 2: the energy for one really good conversation that I put

1439
01:26:44,280 --> 01:26:49,040
Speaker 2: at the beginning of the episode. And that's how that's

1440
01:26:49,040 --> 01:26:52,560
Speaker 2: how I began to format this podcast. Is every every

1441
01:26:52,600 --> 01:26:56,000
Speaker 2: every time I go to stream and do a podcast,

1442
01:26:56,080 --> 01:27:00,040
Speaker 2: I have the energy for one really good conversation and

1443
01:27:00,080 --> 01:27:02,120
Speaker 2: I put at the beginning, and then at the end,

1444
01:27:02,200 --> 01:27:05,200
Speaker 2: I'm like and then you know, I start to I

1445
01:27:05,200 --> 01:27:06,000
Speaker 2: start to lose steam.

1446
01:27:06,040 --> 01:27:08,160
Speaker 6: But I'm trying to well, I totally get it because

1447
01:27:08,280 --> 01:27:12,360
Speaker 6: I'm I'm in healthcare and I happen to be I

1448
01:27:12,520 --> 01:27:16,040
Speaker 6: happen to provide hygiene, and I have all these patients

1449
01:27:16,040 --> 01:27:16,679
Speaker 6: throughout the day.

1450
01:27:17,040 --> 01:27:19,400
Speaker 5: By the end of the day they're talking about this that,

1451
01:27:19,600 --> 01:27:22,080
Speaker 5: and I'm just like, I'm sorry, the caffeine is wearing off.

1452
01:27:22,600 --> 01:27:24,120
Speaker 5: But I heard you.

1453
01:27:24,439 --> 01:27:28,880
Speaker 2: I just I care, but I yeah, what's your what's

1454
01:27:28,920 --> 01:27:29,599
Speaker 2: your name again?

1455
01:27:31,840 --> 01:27:39,679
Speaker 5: My quote unquote name is Jerrana Marianna, uh like Tom

1456
01:27:39,680 --> 01:27:43,160
Speaker 5: and Jerry Gianna, Jerryanna.

1457
01:27:45,200 --> 01:27:49,000
Speaker 2: Well, listen, Jerryanna, thank you for providing a alterned. I

1458
01:27:49,000 --> 01:27:51,960
Speaker 2: do I get what you mean in terms of I

1459
01:27:51,960 --> 01:27:54,439
Speaker 2: don't know. Well, here's the thing is is we're about

1460
01:27:54,479 --> 01:27:58,519
Speaker 2: to there's lots of people probably in polycules who are

1461
01:27:58,600 --> 01:28:03,000
Speaker 2: raising children that way, and so in our lifetime, yeah,

1462
01:28:03,600 --> 01:28:05,200
Speaker 2: we'll get to find it's bad. I thought you said

1463
01:28:05,200 --> 01:28:06,120
Speaker 2: it was good.

1464
01:28:07,720 --> 01:28:09,200
Speaker 5: Wait you said I thought you.

1465
01:28:09,560 --> 01:28:10,479
Speaker 8: I don't know what you said.

1466
01:28:10,479 --> 01:28:12,680
Speaker 5: I thought you said, like there's lots of people in

1467
01:28:13,000 --> 01:28:19,240
Speaker 5: like in like capsules of like raging raising children like

1468
01:28:19,240 --> 01:28:21,080
Speaker 5: that like a monogamous way.

1469
01:28:21,479 --> 01:28:24,760
Speaker 2: Polycles polycules.

1470
01:28:25,000 --> 01:28:26,719
Speaker 5: Oh like the polyamorous lifestyle.

1471
01:28:27,240 --> 01:28:31,559
Speaker 2: Yeah, but we'll get to we'll see how those people

1472
01:28:31,560 --> 01:28:34,559
Speaker 2: turn out. Maybe they're amazing, maybe they're maybe everyone, maybe

1473
01:28:34,560 --> 01:28:35,160
Speaker 2: they're awesome.

1474
01:28:35,720 --> 01:28:38,920
Speaker 5: Well, the problem with the poly lifestyle is that they

1475
01:28:38,960 --> 01:28:42,280
Speaker 5: should be I think they should be more like with

1476
01:28:42,280 --> 01:28:44,680
Speaker 5: with again, going back to cherry picking good things out

1477
01:28:44,680 --> 01:28:47,600
Speaker 5: of religion, right, Like I like the commitment with Christianity,

1478
01:28:47,640 --> 01:28:52,320
Speaker 5: but with Islam you can also have several wives. And

1479
01:28:52,800 --> 01:28:57,080
Speaker 5: I happen to be like bisexual, and I don't understand

1480
01:28:57,320 --> 01:29:01,120
Speaker 5: how women are like, oh yeah, I'm just gonna be

1481
01:29:01,120 --> 01:29:04,439
Speaker 5: with this man forever. That's it. Like, but also I

1482
01:29:04,439 --> 01:29:07,400
Speaker 5: don't want to be going out to different people having

1483
01:29:07,439 --> 01:29:11,000
Speaker 5: sexual romantic connections. Like I want to have one good

1484
01:29:11,439 --> 01:29:13,880
Speaker 5: good I want to have one good Betty, who's my

1485
01:29:13,960 --> 01:29:14,960
Speaker 5: ride or die wife?

1486
01:29:15,280 --> 01:29:15,519
Speaker 2: Sure?

1487
01:29:16,000 --> 01:29:19,120
Speaker 5: And then also we have our husband, and like, why

1488
01:29:19,160 --> 01:29:23,360
Speaker 5: not fucking do that? Like everyone stop going insane with

1489
01:29:23,600 --> 01:29:24,280
Speaker 5: one person.

1490
01:29:25,280 --> 01:29:29,680
Speaker 2: Stop it nice. That sounds nice, It sounds nice.

1491
01:29:29,520 --> 01:29:32,720
Speaker 5: But I know that I'll let you I'll let you go.

1492
01:29:32,720 --> 01:29:34,720
Speaker 5: I'm glad we got the chat, and I just want

1493
01:29:34,760 --> 01:29:39,639
Speaker 5: to get that out there about uh love. So thanks

1494
01:29:39,720 --> 01:29:42,680
Speaker 5: for having me on the show.

1495
01:29:43,000 --> 01:29:44,760
Speaker 2: Of course, thank you. And next time you pray to

1496
01:29:44,800 --> 01:29:46,439
Speaker 2: your cat, you know, put in a good word for

1497
01:29:46,520 --> 01:29:49,080
Speaker 2: me too. In case if your cat I'll tell y'all,

1498
01:29:50,200 --> 01:29:51,800
Speaker 2: just in case, if your cat does end up being

1499
01:29:51,880 --> 01:29:53,719
Speaker 2: the one true God, I want I want some favor

1500
01:29:53,800 --> 01:29:59,320
Speaker 2: with them, all right, man, I will all right? Later,

1501
01:29:59,600 --> 01:30:01,240
Speaker 2: have a have a have a I'm sorry, what did

1502
01:30:01,240 --> 01:30:02,640
Speaker 2: you say? Your name was? Again? It starts with the

1503
01:30:02,720 --> 01:30:13,400
Speaker 2: jay I have a good one, Jerryana YouTube guy. Later, Well, folks,

1504
01:30:13,439 --> 01:30:16,120
Speaker 2: that was it. We did a therapy Gecko podcast. We

1505
01:30:16,200 --> 01:30:19,559
Speaker 2: talked a lot about life. We learned a lot of stuff,

1506
01:30:19,840 --> 01:30:24,320
Speaker 2: like hop in those Spotify comments or those Apple podcast

1507
01:30:24,360 --> 01:30:26,680
Speaker 2: reviews or those YouTube comments. I want to know what

1508
01:30:26,720 --> 01:30:30,200
Speaker 2: people thought about these conversations. We had some pretty dense

1509
01:30:31,560 --> 01:30:34,439
Speaker 2: conversations on this episode. I want to know what the

1510
01:30:34,479 --> 01:30:38,160
Speaker 2: people thought. I hope people. I hope people understood what

1511
01:30:38,520 --> 01:30:44,639
Speaker 2: we were trying to say. And if not, that's okay too,

1512
01:30:44,680 --> 01:30:49,160
Speaker 2: because it's fine. Thank you guys very much for listening,

1513
01:30:50,000 --> 01:30:53,959
Speaker 2: Thank you for being here. Thanks for continuing to indulge

1514
01:30:54,560 --> 01:30:57,280
Speaker 2: me as I as I do this podcast, and and

1515
01:30:57,400 --> 01:31:01,559
Speaker 2: continuing to indulge the people that call in. Uh, this

1516
01:31:01,680 --> 01:31:03,679
Speaker 2: is fun. I feel very honored to get to wax

1517
01:31:03,760 --> 01:31:08,920
Speaker 2: philosophy with strangers, and thanks for listening.

1518
01:31:09,640 --> 01:31:12,960
Speaker 1: Rep KT goes on the line taking your phone calls

1519
01:31:13,040 --> 01:31:13,599
Speaker 1: every night.

1520
01:31:13,960 --> 01:31:15,880
Speaker 2: The repin Can goes doing a ride.

1521
01:31:15,960 --> 01:31:18,120
Speaker 3: He's teaching you about in the middle of your life,

1522
01:31:18,479 --> 01:31:20,680
Speaker 3: but he's not really an expert.