1 00:00:01,440 --> 00:00:05,160 Speaker 1: Hey guys, it's Sugarlane. What you're about to hear is 2 00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:10,000 Speaker 1: a bonus episode from our infectionous Disease doctor as she 3 00:00:10,119 --> 00:00:13,400 Speaker 1: gives us an update on the coronavirus. If you like 4 00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:15,640 Speaker 1: to hear the FULLD episode, please become a member of 5 00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:19,960 Speaker 1: the Patreon account at www dot Patreon. P A t 6 00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:24,320 Speaker 1: R e O N dot com. Forward Slash the PhD Podcast. 7 00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:27,479 Speaker 1: I hope you all enjoy. Y'all, stay safe and enjoy 8 00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:30,920 Speaker 1: this week's episode later. So do you think that we 9 00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:32,800 Speaker 1: are on the brink of the second wave or are 10 00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:37,800 Speaker 1: we still in the first wave? I I honestly think 11 00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:42,279 Speaker 1: that we are. It's just a poem birth wave at 12 00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:47,040 Speaker 1: this point, because you have to ask yourself that the 13 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:51,279 Speaker 1: did the states that are having higher numbers that they 14 00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:56,640 Speaker 1: really have things to earnder control. A second wave assumes 15 00:00:56,720 --> 00:01:00,880 Speaker 1: that you had a large number of cases, the public 16 00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:07,360 Speaker 1: health policies and governmental policies were put in place where where, 17 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:13,160 Speaker 1: which resulted in the cases being dramatically decreased or no cases, 18 00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:16,760 Speaker 1: and then you're having a spike. That is not the 19 00:01:16,880 --> 00:01:20,200 Speaker 1: case in a lot of these places. What happened was 20 00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:25,039 Speaker 1: there was maybe a marginal decrease in cases and then 21 00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:30,400 Speaker 1: now it's just flourishing. If you look at certain places 22 00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:33,880 Speaker 1: like Arizona, is just the curve is going up, up, up, 23 00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:40,600 Speaker 1: And so I honestly question whether or not these states 24 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:45,800 Speaker 1: that are now in cricenses actually had the outbreak under 25 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:51,120 Speaker 1: control in the first place. What were your thoughts on 26 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:55,160 Speaker 1: people saying that the numbers was rising due to the protests. 27 00:01:55,800 --> 00:02:02,280 Speaker 1: So I would really challenge that thinking because if you 28 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:08,040 Speaker 1: look at so I personally participated in protests here where 29 00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:13,639 Speaker 1: I am, if you look at the news footage from CNN, 30 00:02:14,639 --> 00:02:24,120 Speaker 1: from um MSNBC, most people were wearing masks. The majority 31 00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:29,360 Speaker 1: of people are bringing maks. So I, yes, it's a risk. 32 00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:32,000 Speaker 1: Please don't get me wrong. It was a lot of 33 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:37,120 Speaker 1: people that conviregated together, but at least people were wearing masks, 34 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:44,480 Speaker 1: and that dramatically decreased, Uh, excuse me, the risk of transmission. However, 35 00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:51,160 Speaker 1: I it's hard for me to believe without hard facts 36 00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:55,080 Speaker 1: that the protests were the trigger. What I really think 37 00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:59,560 Speaker 1: happened where people in communities where masks were not not 38 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:05,359 Speaker 1: a requirements, there were very There weren't really a lot 39 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:11,359 Speaker 1: of regulations for people, you know, remaining distance for limiting 40 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:14,760 Speaker 1: the number of people in one area. I think those 41 00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:21,200 Speaker 1: things for unfortunately issues. So let me actually bring you 42 00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:24,079 Speaker 1: back and try to put some fashion regards to the mat. 43 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:30,880 Speaker 1: So we've heard of like many protests all over the country. Okay, However, 44 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:40,320 Speaker 1: you know Trump recently had of rally campaign rally in Arizona. 45 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:45,760 Speaker 1: If I'm not mistaken, there's an outbreak of people who 46 00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:50,000 Speaker 1: went to that rally and the Secret Service and everything 47 00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:55,480 Speaker 1: you know, associated with that rally. People were seeing more 48 00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:59,920 Speaker 1: COVID cases and if you look at the footage, most 49 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:04,280 Speaker 1: of those people didn't have masks. And so then now 50 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:08,200 Speaker 1: you see a clear example of a large group of 51 00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:13,280 Speaker 1: people gathering, you know, without mask and see what can happen. 52 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:17,680 Speaker 1: So there may have been you know, outbreak associated with 53 00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:20,000 Speaker 1: the protest. I don't know. I don't know the fact 54 00:04:20,080 --> 00:04:23,680 Speaker 1: that I haven't heard anything on the news, that doesn't 55 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:27,440 Speaker 1: mean that it didn't happen. But you know, we do 56 00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:31,479 Speaker 1: know that if there have been an outbreak associated with 57 00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:37,320 Speaker 1: recent Trump rallies, and these people specifically work and wearing masks. 58 00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:43,719 Speaker 1: So that's an example. Like I understand, people have their 59 00:04:43,839 --> 00:04:50,159 Speaker 1: political affiliation, they feel strongly about whatever issue, and they 60 00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:52,360 Speaker 1: feel that they need to either go for a rally 61 00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:56,320 Speaker 1: or protest. I understand that. However, if we could just 62 00:04:56,520 --> 00:05:01,280 Speaker 1: wear a mask, that's gonna definitely pret text you and 63 00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:06,520 Speaker 1: if you were to be sick, protect others from you. Welcome. 64 00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:43,279 Speaker 1: You are now listening to the Professional Professional Professional. Hey guys, 65 00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:47,039 Speaker 1: Welcome to this week's episode of the PhD Podcast. It's 66 00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:49,360 Speaker 1: your girl, M and A and like always, I am 67 00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:53,760 Speaker 1: super excited about this week's episode. Before we begin, let's 68 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:56,400 Speaker 1: do some housekeeping. Please make sure to follow me on 69 00:05:56,520 --> 00:06:00,359 Speaker 1: Instagram at the Professional Homegirl at the p pot cast 70 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:04,719 Speaker 1: and Evan a Beauty. Follow me on Twitter at th 71 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:08,000 Speaker 1: ch E, p h G Underscore Show, the website some 72 00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:12,680 Speaker 1: Love at www dot the PhD podcast dot com. If 73 00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:15,800 Speaker 1: you have any questions, calmness, or concerns, or you just 74 00:06:15,839 --> 00:06:18,200 Speaker 1: want to say hey girl, Hey, please make sure to 75 00:06:18,279 --> 00:06:22,240 Speaker 1: email me at Hello at the PhD podcast dot com. 76 00:06:22,279 --> 00:06:25,520 Speaker 1: If you are listening to this episode on an iPhone, 77 00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:27,840 Speaker 1: please make sure to leave a five star review at 78 00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:31,640 Speaker 1: the bottom of the page. The podcast has grown with 79 00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:34,520 Speaker 1: over one d five star reviews and I have so 80 00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:37,000 Speaker 1: much a store, but I cannot grow it without my 81 00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:40,080 Speaker 1: professional home girls. And also shout out to the niggas 82 00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:42,880 Speaker 1: that's listening to the podcast as well. I appreciate y'all 83 00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:46,640 Speaker 1: and I see y'all. My nigga listenership is growing, so 84 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:50,280 Speaker 1: thank you all for listening and tuning in. Last, but 85 00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:53,200 Speaker 1: not least, I need y'all to support the PhD podcast 86 00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:57,760 Speaker 1: by becoming a patron at www dot patreon dot com. 87 00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:02,200 Speaker 1: Patreon is spelled p A t r EO in forward 88 00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:05,719 Speaker 1: slash the PSD podcast. There are four different tiers, ranging 89 00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:08,360 Speaker 1: from three dollars to twenty dollars. I have some really 90 00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:12,280 Speaker 1: dope stories that I've been working on, including a documentary, 91 00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:14,080 Speaker 1: but I need you all to support the kids. So 92 00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:17,800 Speaker 1: hold me down, don't hold me up, niggas, those that's 93 00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:21,720 Speaker 1: been slidding in my d m open up that wallet 94 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:25,760 Speaker 1: and show me some love and support me um. The 95 00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:28,520 Speaker 1: link will also be available in the show notes, so 96 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:31,520 Speaker 1: please keep in mind that all of my guests are anonymous. 97 00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:35,840 Speaker 1: So let's begin this week's episode. So to my guests, 98 00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:40,000 Speaker 1: how are you doing? I'm fine? How are you? I'm dead? 99 00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:46,360 Speaker 1: I'm good. I was taking a little nap, but I'm good. Sleepy, 100 00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:48,800 Speaker 1: But anyway, I want to say thank you so much 101 00:07:48,840 --> 00:07:52,360 Speaker 1: for sharing your story. On the PhD podcast and bringing 102 00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:55,800 Speaker 1: more awareness as a survivor of gun balance. So thank you, 103 00:07:56,440 --> 00:07:59,920 Speaker 1: thank you for reaching out. You're welcome. So let's start 104 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:03,840 Speaker 1: in the very beginning. So how did you meet your 105 00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:08,720 Speaker 1: ex boyfriend? I had known him since like seventh grade 106 00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:12,720 Speaker 1: middle school, so yeah, so it wasn't like a stranger, 107 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:15,440 Speaker 1: you know, it was like somebody that you really had 108 00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:20,160 Speaker 1: history with. Mm hmm. So from middle school we talked 109 00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:23,080 Speaker 1: or whatever we wanted, really too much in the relationship. 110 00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:25,920 Speaker 1: Then high school we were in a relationship. He went 111 00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:30,080 Speaker 1: to jail, I got pregnant by a different guy. He 112 00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:32,640 Speaker 1: got out of jail and we started talking again. So 113 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:34,480 Speaker 1: it was like real cool. You know, he was there 114 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:37,560 Speaker 1: when my son was born, and that wasn't his kids. 115 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:40,600 Speaker 1: So that made me love him a little more than 116 00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:43,680 Speaker 1: I loved anybody else, because dang, like you really here 117 00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:48,480 Speaker 1: for this kid, you know that's not your kid. But 118 00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:51,720 Speaker 1: then yeah, stuff got a little rocky. How long we 119 00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:57,000 Speaker 1: are in the relationship, like two years mm hmm. And 120 00:08:57,080 --> 00:09:00,400 Speaker 1: during that relationship that you know, it's any red flags. No, 121 00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:04,080 Speaker 1: the only thing that I would say was that I 122 00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:06,560 Speaker 1: didn't like from the relationship was I paid all the bills, 123 00:09:06,559 --> 00:09:09,680 Speaker 1: but he babysaid it saw I mean, m M. It 124 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,760 Speaker 1: was I guess the win win in my eyes because 125 00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:15,440 Speaker 1: it was free babysitter. But it was like no abusiveness 126 00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:19,160 Speaker 1: or any of that. Was he not able to work 127 00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:22,959 Speaker 1: because of his background? Yes, and he just didn't want 128 00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:25,680 Speaker 1: to work. He had like a short man syndrome because 129 00:09:25,679 --> 00:09:30,000 Speaker 1: he was a little short, so he didn't want to work. 130 00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:34,480 Speaker 1: So yeah, I'm like, okay, whatever, that's not a reason 131 00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:37,760 Speaker 1: but whatever, right, So what was the reason why you 132 00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:39,080 Speaker 1: wanted to like break up with him? I mean, I'm 133 00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:41,200 Speaker 1: pretty sure you were sired of paying for ship. That 134 00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:44,440 Speaker 1: was it right there? If I can't just pay all 135 00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:46,320 Speaker 1: the bills by myself, what do I need the man for. 136 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:49,120 Speaker 1: You can get dick from anywhere, you know, like you 137 00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:52,640 Speaker 1: can get that's like no issue, you know, but hand 138 00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:59,520 Speaker 1: bills and okay, habit No, M that it was that 139 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:02,320 Speaker 1: was in it? Wait, say if your daughter about him 140 00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:05,280 Speaker 1: or no, neither neither one of my kids are by 141 00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:08,520 Speaker 1: My kids are about the same person. Okay, yeah, so 142 00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:10,160 Speaker 1: yeah it was really gonna need him to be around 143 00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:13,280 Speaker 1: like that? Then yeah, no, you can leave. So after 144 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:18,160 Speaker 1: the breakup, how was he acting crazy like He texts 145 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,240 Speaker 1: me like he'd pop up at my house because my 146 00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:23,040 Speaker 1: grandma own's houses. So we moved out of the apartment. 147 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:25,679 Speaker 1: I wouldn't stay in my grandma house. He popped up 148 00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:28,760 Speaker 1: him and his little friend, and he just like, don't 149 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:30,800 Speaker 1: do that. Called me before you come to my house. 150 00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:36,200 Speaker 1: That's the type of person I'm in. So I'm snapping. 151 00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:38,400 Speaker 1: He tells me, Oh, I'm gonna show you I don't 152 00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:40,880 Speaker 1: play about you. This is so that was my next 153 00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:44,160 Speaker 1: question too. Yeah, that that that was the icing on 154 00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:46,680 Speaker 1: the cake right there. But I blew that off because 155 00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:48,440 Speaker 1: I had after he came over. I pulled up on 156 00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:50,480 Speaker 1: them like, my son needs some pathers to give me 157 00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:52,520 Speaker 1: some money. You didn't think nothing of it when he 158 00:10:52,559 --> 00:10:55,600 Speaker 1: said that. This is after I got the money from him. 159 00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:58,160 Speaker 1: He said this. So no, I wasn't really thinking like, oh, 160 00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:00,800 Speaker 1: he's gonna hurt me, you know, because he never put 161 00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:04,120 Speaker 1: his hands on me, So why would I think that, 162 00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:09,800 Speaker 1: Oh he gonna shoot me up? But I'm at the store. 163 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:13,080 Speaker 1: I get in the car with my brother. They like 164 00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:15,600 Speaker 1: take us around the corner. So me and my sister 165 00:11:15,640 --> 00:11:17,480 Speaker 1: and my brother is all in the car. We pull 166 00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:19,959 Speaker 1: up at this little corner store because my dad's out 167 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:23,960 Speaker 1: there talking to my aunt and we're talking our whatever. 168 00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:26,760 Speaker 1: The next thing I know, but this is the night 169 00:11:27,640 --> 00:11:29,560 Speaker 1: this Yeah, it's all in the same night. It was 170 00:11:29,559 --> 00:11:31,280 Speaker 1: a long day. I should have know somethad was gonna 171 00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:33,880 Speaker 1: happen because I told my son I was listening to 172 00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:37,400 Speaker 1: Jaheen just in case I'm making home the night. Yes, 173 00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:39,959 Speaker 1: I know, right, makes me prior every time. So that's 174 00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:42,079 Speaker 1: the last song I like to it with my son. Well, 175 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:45,120 Speaker 1: so let's real, let's rewind. So wasn't the day before 176 00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:47,040 Speaker 1: that he told you that comment that he doesn't play 177 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:50,000 Speaker 1: we don't It was in the same day, earlier in 178 00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:54,440 Speaker 1: that day, okay, So on July thirty one, this is 179 00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:56,559 Speaker 1: the day that you got shot by him. Yes, so 180 00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:59,200 Speaker 1: you went to don't get money from Pam first. Yeah, 181 00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:01,200 Speaker 1: we were cool then and we was whatever. We had 182 00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:03,600 Speaker 1: a little argument, but it was okay. And then later 183 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:05,480 Speaker 1: on that night we got into it real bad and 184 00:12:05,679 --> 00:12:07,640 Speaker 1: he told me I'm gonna show you I don't play 185 00:12:07,679 --> 00:12:10,000 Speaker 1: about you. That's what you So you went to the 186 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:14,600 Speaker 1: corner store with your siblist y'all hanging out. Then people 187 00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:18,720 Speaker 1: walk up and the first shot my uncle had a 188 00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:21,560 Speaker 1: beer in his hand and the bullet went through the beer. 189 00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:24,600 Speaker 1: Who was the people him? And his people was just him? Yes, no, 190 00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:32,079 Speaker 1: three people, like three different yes. But my brother's got shot, 191 00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:34,480 Speaker 1: but I don't everybody that that got shot. I was 192 00:12:34,559 --> 00:12:37,040 Speaker 1: the person that got shot the most, Like they got 193 00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:39,040 Speaker 1: a little legs shot and a little arm shot. I 194 00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:42,320 Speaker 1: got shot five times and all my shots were from 195 00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:48,400 Speaker 1: the back. So the his friends didn't like my brothers. 196 00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:52,640 Speaker 1: So it was just like a whole lot of commotion 197 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:56,679 Speaker 1: as well. But as the shots go off, my uncle 198 00:12:57,040 --> 00:13:02,280 Speaker 1: his beer gets blown down whatever, and then I try 199 00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:04,280 Speaker 1: to run. But when I running, I run into my 200 00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:08,720 Speaker 1: sister and I run into my brother, so y'all collide together. 201 00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:11,160 Speaker 1: The first shot that I feel, it goes in my 202 00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:16,160 Speaker 1: face from the west side. Yeah, but so I'm I'm panicking. 203 00:13:16,559 --> 00:13:18,679 Speaker 1: I just dropped though I'm the only one that failed. 204 00:13:18,679 --> 00:13:20,040 Speaker 1: I don't know how I feel, but I'm the only 205 00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:23,439 Speaker 1: one that failed. So I lay down. I'm trying to 206 00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:25,160 Speaker 1: get up, and all I'm thinking about is my kids. 207 00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:26,640 Speaker 1: And I didn't know I was shot as many times 208 00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:28,000 Speaker 1: as I was shot. I just knew I was shot 209 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:30,800 Speaker 1: in the face, so I had a wig on two. 210 00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:33,600 Speaker 1: So shout out to wigs because they saved lives. By 211 00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:35,560 Speaker 1: the way, I got shot in back of the head 212 00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:38,920 Speaker 1: as well, but since my wig and the braids under there, 213 00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:46,000 Speaker 1: the bullet got stuck instead of just yes, so I 214 00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:49,200 Speaker 1: love wigs. I'm ready to get the frontal now right 215 00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:55,840 Speaker 1: to yah. Yeah information so I can support you. Yes so, 216 00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:59,320 Speaker 1: but you was thinking when all this was going on, 217 00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:01,760 Speaker 1: because you didn't realize you've done shot until you feel 218 00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:05,080 Speaker 1: to the ground ground. So all I thought about was 219 00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:07,600 Speaker 1: my kids. I didn't think about nothing but my kids. 220 00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:09,840 Speaker 1: Like you have to stay strong for them, like forget 221 00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:13,280 Speaker 1: everybody else, but not panic because if you panic, you're 222 00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:17,000 Speaker 1: gonna probably passed out and ventilate. And yeah, I couldn't 223 00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:18,719 Speaker 1: do none of that. I watched too many movies. So 224 00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:22,320 Speaker 1: that's the only people that can keep my calm, like 225 00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:25,200 Speaker 1: the two of the ones. So I'm thinking about them. 226 00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:27,880 Speaker 1: My stepmom is out there. This is how crazy that 227 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:31,360 Speaker 1: everybody's out at the corner store because it's the summertime. 228 00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:36,640 Speaker 1: It's a nice hot day. M So she pulled off 229 00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:39,040 Speaker 1: when the shot started, but then she went around the corner, 230 00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:41,520 Speaker 1: she said, and she sees somebody laying on the ground. 231 00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:43,240 Speaker 1: I had a red shirt on though, so really they 232 00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:45,680 Speaker 1: didn't even know if I was shot or not. But 233 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:49,240 Speaker 1: my dad was with me, remember that, And all I 234 00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:53,560 Speaker 1: yelled that was that that, Like, I was more concerned 235 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:56,120 Speaker 1: about my dad than probably me, because that's my best 236 00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:59,120 Speaker 1: friend and it's thirteen of us. I got two kids. 237 00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:01,120 Speaker 1: I know if happened to me, he's going to take 238 00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:04,440 Speaker 1: care of him. M hm. So that was I don't know. 239 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:06,200 Speaker 1: I was just more worried about my dad. But she 240 00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:09,400 Speaker 1: picked me up. They put me in the car. My 241 00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:11,720 Speaker 1: brother had me squeeze in his hand, like you gotta 242 00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:17,640 Speaker 1: keep squeezing in my hands, don't lose conscious. Yeah, I'm steady, 243 00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:20,600 Speaker 1: squeeze in his hand. We get to the hospital. My 244 00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:23,920 Speaker 1: stepmom had to take me into the hospital by herself, 245 00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:26,320 Speaker 1: but she said I walked in. I don't remember any 246 00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:29,200 Speaker 1: of that. Mm hmmm. And while you in the hospital, 247 00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:32,120 Speaker 1: you were in a coma. Yeah. I got air lifted 248 00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:37,320 Speaker 1: to um out of town because that's how bad I 249 00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:39,760 Speaker 1: was shot that they had to get me out of town. 250 00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:44,040 Speaker 1: I was cut open for two days and very high 251 00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:46,200 Speaker 1: off the medicine. Like when I woke up, I really 252 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:47,840 Speaker 1: didn't know where I was I didn't know it had 253 00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:51,000 Speaker 1: been like, damn near a week. I'm about to ask 254 00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:53,040 Speaker 1: you how long he was in a coma for? Yeah, 255 00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:57,360 Speaker 1: like almost the week. I didn't know nothing. All I 256 00:15:57,440 --> 00:16:01,240 Speaker 1: knew is I had got shot. That's all I knew. 257 00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:03,440 Speaker 1: And I had went to the hospital. I thought I 258 00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:06,560 Speaker 1: was at the same hospital. They're like you, I was 259 00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:09,840 Speaker 1: pulling out the tubes out of my nose. My dad 260 00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:12,440 Speaker 1: wouldn't come to the hospital because he didn't know what 261 00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:15,400 Speaker 1: was going on with me. Like it was. It was 262 00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:18,080 Speaker 1: a lot. So when I finally woke up, my mom's there, 263 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:23,720 Speaker 1: I'm like, she like, you was shot, You're paralyzed. So 264 00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:31,640 Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm gett emotional. I'm sorry, No, that's that's crazy. Yeah, 265 00:16:31,680 --> 00:16:34,680 Speaker 1: so well, wait, how did you How did you know? 266 00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:36,880 Speaker 1: Because I was I was reading one of your interviews 267 00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:40,560 Speaker 1: and you said that he came to the hospital. Yes, okay, 268 00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:46,080 Speaker 1: this is the craziest part. Note I yeah, but this 269 00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:50,440 Speaker 1: is the craziest part. My little brother was with him 270 00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:52,760 Speaker 1: when the shoot. When when I got shot, him and 271 00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:55,040 Speaker 1: my little brother was together. Me and my little brother 272 00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:57,880 Speaker 1: got the same mom were like close, like peanut butter 273 00:16:57,920 --> 00:17:00,840 Speaker 1: and jelly. Me and my little brother don't talk anymore. 274 00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:02,800 Speaker 1: I feel like we don't talk because you know, something 275 00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:04,600 Speaker 1: happened to me, and you don't tell me what happened, 276 00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:06,439 Speaker 1: because I've asked him and he still hanged with the 277 00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:11,560 Speaker 1: boy with my ex boyfriend? What right? Who does that? Right? 278 00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:16,240 Speaker 1: So it's like that's yeah, so you don't even understand. 279 00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:17,960 Speaker 1: So but how do you know that he was So 280 00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:19,480 Speaker 1: he was with home while he was shooting at you 281 00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:22,399 Speaker 1: or he just because my dad seeing them come up 282 00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:24,800 Speaker 1: to the store before anything. He said he's seen him 283 00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:26,399 Speaker 1: come up to the store. My brother spoke to my 284 00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:32,080 Speaker 1: dad and he they was all together. So that's the 285 00:17:32,119 --> 00:17:33,760 Speaker 1: last time you've seen him. Then when they came to 286 00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:36,280 Speaker 1: the hospital, my brother was with him at the hospital, 287 00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:38,719 Speaker 1: and when he got to the hospital, when my boyfriend 288 00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:40,879 Speaker 1: got to the hospital, he said, it was supposed to 289 00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:43,400 Speaker 1: happen like the that was supposed to happen to her, 290 00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:48,120 Speaker 1: and it was supposed to go like this. But right, 291 00:17:49,119 --> 00:17:51,280 Speaker 1: if you know you just shot at somebody, why would 292 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:54,120 Speaker 1: you come to the hospital. Then one of the guys 293 00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,640 Speaker 1: that were shooting at us he got shot too, So 294 00:17:56,840 --> 00:17:58,880 Speaker 1: we all ended up at the hospital at the same time. 295 00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:02,560 Speaker 1: So you got four gunshot victims from one crime scene 296 00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:07,320 Speaker 1: at one hospital. The police so dumb. They're not putting 297 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:11,320 Speaker 1: this all together, like this is still unsolved, and you know, 298 00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:17,240 Speaker 1: and they don't care. They just don't, especially the black people. Yes, 299 00:18:18,119 --> 00:18:20,560 Speaker 1: so my kids. I hadn't see my kids for like 300 00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:24,120 Speaker 1: three weeks, two weeks because I was in the hospital 301 00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:26,280 Speaker 1: and they don't want me to have anxiety attacks or whatever. 302 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,200 Speaker 1: But when I finally did see them, they didn't want 303 00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:31,720 Speaker 1: to see me because my mouth was wire shut because 304 00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:34,040 Speaker 1: how the bullet went through, Like the doctor like, you 305 00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:37,280 Speaker 1: were so close. If it was over an inch, a 306 00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:40,120 Speaker 1: little inch over, it would have hit your juggler and 307 00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:42,760 Speaker 1: you would have been gone. Like, so you got one. 308 00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:45,080 Speaker 1: You got shot in the face, you got shot shot 309 00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:49,359 Speaker 1: your head, shot in the back, shot in the breast. 310 00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:52,800 Speaker 1: I think that really just considered it five because the 311 00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:56,600 Speaker 1: bullet in the back went in and out. Yeah. So 312 00:18:57,160 --> 00:19:01,600 Speaker 1: and now you're paralyzed because of this situation. Yeah, yeah, 313 00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:03,600 Speaker 1: you'll ever be able to walk again, because I think 314 00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:05,760 Speaker 1: I read somewhere that you're starting to make some type 315 00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:09,960 Speaker 1: of movement, right, Yeah, I stand up and take steps 316 00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:13,879 Speaker 1: or whatever. It's just building the muscle back up. But 317 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:15,880 Speaker 1: they also say it's some mind things. So I think 318 00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:18,919 Speaker 1: it's the one because I keep trying and stay strong minded, 319 00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:24,800 Speaker 1: it'll come back eventually. Mm hmm. But I also just 320 00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:27,960 Speaker 1: I mean, I'm just happy to be alive, so I 321 00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:33,040 Speaker 1: can really care less about walking. I care. But my 322 00:19:33,119 --> 00:19:36,000 Speaker 1: kids pushed me in my chair, they put my chair together, 323 00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:38,960 Speaker 1: they put it in my car. My auntie carried me 324 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:41,040 Speaker 1: on her back like I got so much love like 325 00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:44,639 Speaker 1: it don't I don't care about I don't care. I 326 00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:47,560 Speaker 1: really don't care for real? Well, and what other ways 327 00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:50,920 Speaker 1: has this aspected your physical health? Besides you're not able 328 00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:55,000 Speaker 1: to walk, that's it? Like hap to use captitors, that's 329 00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:58,240 Speaker 1: about it. What's that? But like you have to urinate, 330 00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:02,800 Speaker 1: you have to put it in your little your nation hole. Right, 331 00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:05,960 Speaker 1: it's like every six hours. That's the only thing. And 332 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:07,560 Speaker 1: then when I first got the house, but I had 333 00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:10,520 Speaker 1: to wear the pens. And that's like being twenty four 334 00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:13,760 Speaker 1: and wearing the pens. Yeah, that's you know what's so crazy. 335 00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:17,000 Speaker 1: I was just about to ask you because you look young. Yeah, 336 00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:19,840 Speaker 1: I was twenty two when I got shot. I was 337 00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:29,920 Speaker 1: about to be twenty three. Mm hmm. How does how 338 00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:33,040 Speaker 1: have this affected your mental health. I had went through 339 00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:36,040 Speaker 1: depression for a little minute, but I didn't like to 340 00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:39,720 Speaker 1: counseling or anything. Did you not want to go or 341 00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:43,800 Speaker 1: I didn't think nothing was wrong. It was just an 342 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,040 Speaker 1: eating and wanted to stay in the house. I'm not 343 00:20:46,119 --> 00:20:48,720 Speaker 1: going outside, I don't know, want want nobody to see 344 00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:52,680 Speaker 1: me in this wheelchair. Like. But then I got over 345 00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:55,040 Speaker 1: it because you know, I got two people in my 346 00:20:55,119 --> 00:20:58,640 Speaker 1: corner and the kids in my ant and my dad, 347 00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:03,240 Speaker 1: so I'm still getting used to it. I just really 348 00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:07,400 Speaker 1: started going outside and getting dressed like I didn't care. 349 00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:10,159 Speaker 1: I was sitting in the house all day. People in 350 00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:13,680 Speaker 1: your neighborhood know what happened to you? Yeah, the hotel knows, 351 00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:17,159 Speaker 1: they'll act. Some people act because some people won't know 352 00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:19,160 Speaker 1: until you'd be like oh, they'd be like, oh yeah, 353 00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:22,560 Speaker 1: I heard about that. Hmm. And then you'd be like, yeah, 354 00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:24,320 Speaker 1: our little kids wouldn't look kid and see me, and 355 00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:26,800 Speaker 1: they stare. I tell them what happened, because I feel 356 00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:29,879 Speaker 1: like kids need to know, especially little boys and little girls. 357 00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:34,280 Speaker 1: Mm hmm. So and I know that your your kids 358 00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:36,480 Speaker 1: were close to him, So did you have a conversation 359 00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:38,600 Speaker 1: with them or what happened to you. You know, it's crazy. 360 00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:43,960 Speaker 1: My kids don't even remember. Wow. I told them what happened. 361 00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:46,360 Speaker 1: We were gonna move back to the apartment complex where 362 00:21:46,359 --> 00:21:49,199 Speaker 1: we stayed there when me and him was together, and 363 00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:52,600 Speaker 1: my daughter was like, mind. My daughter was four when 364 00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:56,280 Speaker 1: she said this. She said, Mommy, I had a dream 365 00:21:56,359 --> 00:21:58,399 Speaker 1: that your friends stopped doing the back with a pencil. 366 00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:01,960 Speaker 1: So after she told me that, I just we're not 367 00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:05,520 Speaker 1: moving over there, because I feel like that was God 368 00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:08,080 Speaker 1: talking to her telling me you better not go over there. 369 00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:11,960 Speaker 1: So yeah, but wait, where is he right now? He's 370 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:16,240 Speaker 1: still running around decator. No, So did you not want 371 00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:19,560 Speaker 1: to take any legal action against him? Yes? I took 372 00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:23,080 Speaker 1: legal action. I did a photo lineup, an interview. I 373 00:22:23,119 --> 00:22:26,520 Speaker 1: gave the police my phone. What they told me was 374 00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:30,280 Speaker 1: we have to wait on blood work and phone records 375 00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:33,160 Speaker 1: to come back. Mind you, this is three years ago. 376 00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:37,520 Speaker 1: I have not heard from an officer about anything. My 377 00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:39,919 Speaker 1: case had got switched over before I got out of 378 00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:43,280 Speaker 1: rehabilitation because I had to go to Chicago for rehab 379 00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:48,200 Speaker 1: and I called like, um, I'm getting at the hospital. 380 00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:52,960 Speaker 1: I'm scared. I haven't heard anything. They're like, oh, your 381 00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:55,480 Speaker 1: case has been switched to a different detective, Like nobody 382 00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:59,800 Speaker 1: was gonna call and say, hey, that's fucking bugged out 383 00:22:59,840 --> 00:23:02,720 Speaker 1: for this man is free. Yeah, all three of the 384 00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:05,080 Speaker 1: individuals that was in the shooting. I did the lineup 385 00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:09,840 Speaker 1: of our free. Everybody's free, And how does that make 386 00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:12,880 Speaker 1: you feel? Like that's three years ago? Three years like 387 00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:16,840 Speaker 1: that's why I just just what the hell? Like, what 388 00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:21,560 Speaker 1: the fuck I was? That's what my dad hates it, like, 389 00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:23,680 Speaker 1: he hates it. And that was my big thing too, 390 00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:26,679 Speaker 1: because when I first got home and me, I'm so 391 00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:29,960 Speaker 1: independent and I hate asking for help. So when I 392 00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:31,760 Speaker 1: first got home, I told my dad, like, you should 393 00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:34,760 Speaker 1: just let me die because I do not want nobody 394 00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:39,560 Speaker 1: carrying me like and yeah, that that broke his heart. 395 00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:41,840 Speaker 1: But that's how I felt, like when you go from 396 00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:45,160 Speaker 1: your independence to having to depend on somebody, that's so 397 00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:50,760 Speaker 1: that's very hard. But now I'm getting that all back. Um, 398 00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:53,879 Speaker 1: I hate asking for help now, and they hate that. 399 00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:57,439 Speaker 1: I hate asking for help. Yo, I can't believe this. 400 00:23:57,840 --> 00:24:00,880 Speaker 1: It's free. Yeah, he's free, us can be. I see 401 00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:04,360 Speaker 1: him though, when I see him, I have whole penicyn 402 00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:07,520 Speaker 1: into them, like he won't see me, but I could 403 00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:09,240 Speaker 1: be riding down the street and I see him and 404 00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:12,160 Speaker 1: I have to pull over and call somebody to calm 405 00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:16,320 Speaker 1: me down, because I would have a whole anxiety attack, 406 00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:21,240 Speaker 1: Like he frightens me because you take me from my kids, 407 00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:26,080 Speaker 1: like that's some real evil ship and you was in 408 00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:28,679 Speaker 1: their life. That's what's even eviler. And then from my 409 00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:31,360 Speaker 1: little brother, you just broke my heart because how could 410 00:24:31,359 --> 00:24:34,000 Speaker 1: you even cross me like that? Why do you think 411 00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:37,200 Speaker 1: he did that? Oh? No, that's my thing. I tried 412 00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:39,199 Speaker 1: to talk to my little brother. I asked him, like, 413 00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:42,280 Speaker 1: so you're gonna tell me what happened. I ain't gonna 414 00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:45,520 Speaker 1: talk about this over the uh Facebook, And you're my 415 00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:47,399 Speaker 1: little brother, so we don't got to talk about this 416 00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:49,520 Speaker 1: through messenger. You can pull up on them, you can 417 00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:52,600 Speaker 1: call me like, I ain't gonna talk about it over 418 00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:58,200 Speaker 1: the phone. Why, just what's the secret? That's my whole thing. 419 00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:00,320 Speaker 1: So my mom didn't feel like something feeling the type 420 00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:02,240 Speaker 1: of way. You know how moms are. They go on 421 00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:05,560 Speaker 1: everything to be hope static. It's not that. That's why 422 00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:08,199 Speaker 1: I told her. No, your brother didn't let up my 423 00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:10,040 Speaker 1: fucker shoot you, and he still talked to the people. 424 00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:14,160 Speaker 1: So I don't really care about now you say, where 425 00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:18,679 Speaker 1: about your other siblings, how do they feel? Uh, we 426 00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:21,239 Speaker 1: only got one sibling together, me and my brother. He 427 00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:24,840 Speaker 1: trying to stay out of it. He seventeen a seen. 428 00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:27,000 Speaker 1: He really trying to stay out of it. But he 429 00:25:27,119 --> 00:25:30,280 Speaker 1: knows how I feel. I voice how I feel to everybody. 430 00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:34,520 Speaker 1: I tell my brother, I don't like you. You're bogus, 431 00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:36,960 Speaker 1: Like he knows that. The whole family knows. It's not 432 00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:40,960 Speaker 1: a secret, right yeah, And it's like, you know, you 433 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:44,280 Speaker 1: could have almost died. I could have almost died. And 434 00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:46,960 Speaker 1: then my kid's father is in jail, so my kids 435 00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:49,119 Speaker 1: have just been out here parents. He in jail for 436 00:25:49,119 --> 00:25:52,720 Speaker 1: twenty years. He then only did for like, so y'all 437 00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:56,399 Speaker 1: just want them out here, just looking sad, like where's 438 00:25:56,440 --> 00:26:01,560 Speaker 1: mommy and where's daddy? No, that's so evil. What's since 439 00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:04,760 Speaker 1: the since the situation? What are some challenges that you 440 00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:06,800 Speaker 1: and your family's face since the shooting? Because I know, 441 00:26:06,880 --> 00:26:09,119 Speaker 1: like your dad has to help you with like taking 442 00:26:09,119 --> 00:26:13,560 Speaker 1: the bath and stuff. Yet he does. When I first 443 00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:15,600 Speaker 1: got home, he did. He had to put me in 444 00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:20,520 Speaker 1: the shower, wash my hair for me, osen me up 445 00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:25,199 Speaker 1: all that, take me to the doctor's appointments. But since then, 446 00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:27,720 Speaker 1: I do it literally everything along. I got a car. 447 00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:30,880 Speaker 1: I'm gonna move into my own house always so you're 448 00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:33,240 Speaker 1: able to drive. Yeah, I do that. Girl up, I 449 00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:36,119 Speaker 1: told you I'm and I don't like depending on people. 450 00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:41,040 Speaker 1: That's a no. Yes, No, I work. I have a job, 451 00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:46,080 Speaker 1: literally work Monday through Friday. No, that's really good, that's 452 00:26:46,119 --> 00:26:48,800 Speaker 1: what's up. Yeah, I don't. I can't ask people for 453 00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:50,879 Speaker 1: I have two kids and nobody gonna take care of 454 00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:54,760 Speaker 1: them like I take care of them. So right, How 455 00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:58,000 Speaker 1: has your perspective on dating change? I just started dating 456 00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:03,159 Speaker 1: this year, like, oh no, probably last month? Were you 457 00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:05,760 Speaker 1: were you scared? Heck yeah, I will talk to people. 458 00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:08,200 Speaker 1: I was talking to somebody for three years and never 459 00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:10,679 Speaker 1: let them see me. The only time they see me 460 00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:12,520 Speaker 1: is through a FaceTime Like, you don't even need to 461 00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:16,119 Speaker 1: know where I'll stay at. But this guy on this 462 00:27:16,119 --> 00:27:18,760 Speaker 1: this kind of different. I guess. I don't know. We're 463 00:27:18,760 --> 00:27:24,639 Speaker 1: gonna say, why are you say different? Well, you know, 464 00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:26,119 Speaker 1: I don't say too much because he might listen to 465 00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:27,600 Speaker 1: the episode and he don't even know what you're thinking. 466 00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:32,959 Speaker 1: My flight card is active now, so they've just been 467 00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:39,280 Speaker 1: not tried me me. Oh yeah, because then you're still 468 00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:45,600 Speaker 1: to care. Yeah, so they better praise God and be blessed. Right, 469 00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:48,560 Speaker 1: But I know I read somewhere where you said, like 470 00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:51,080 Speaker 1: you really don't you really can't trust anybody because you've 471 00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:54,080 Speaker 1: been doing this person since seventh grade. Yeah that's do 472 00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:56,879 Speaker 1: you still feel that way? Yeah? I don't trust people. 473 00:27:57,800 --> 00:28:01,040 Speaker 1: My guard is literally always up. I don't trust nothing, 474 00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:04,080 Speaker 1: but I feel like I shouldn't because the closest people 475 00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:09,119 Speaker 1: crossed me. So anybody I can't believe he's still free 476 00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:12,320 Speaker 1: Like that is crazy. That's how I felt too. But 477 00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:14,520 Speaker 1: after three years you be like, Okay, clearly you're not 478 00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:19,160 Speaker 1: gonna do nothing, so whatever. Yeah, but do you feel 479 00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:23,080 Speaker 1: like this hasn't failed you? I mean right, they did, 480 00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:26,199 Speaker 1: they know they did. But where I stay, it doesn't. 481 00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:30,000 Speaker 1: They don't care like you in the South, right, No, 482 00:28:30,119 --> 00:28:37,760 Speaker 1: I'm up North? Oh yeah, corner store. Yeah what I 483 00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:43,360 Speaker 1: thought you was a um Atlanta. I'm in Illinois. Oh well, 484 00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:46,160 Speaker 1: I was just saying, not too long ago. Well you 485 00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:49,840 Speaker 1: see the stuff that goes on in Chicago. Yeah, yeah, 486 00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:52,960 Speaker 1: they don't care here like I was literally just there 487 00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:55,680 Speaker 1: last week. I was there from like a mom. That's crazy. Yeah. 488 00:28:55,720 --> 00:29:01,480 Speaker 1: Well you know, then you experience yeah, why, that's crazy. 489 00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:03,120 Speaker 1: But do you think that a lot of people are 490 00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:07,200 Speaker 1: normal they normalize um, gun violence because they happened so 491 00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:10,720 Speaker 1: much in Chicago. Yes, and it's since it's black on 492 00:29:10,840 --> 00:29:13,320 Speaker 1: black crime, it's like all right, it's all right, they're 493 00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:16,600 Speaker 1: gonna kill each other anyway, so let's just turn the 494 00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:22,520 Speaker 1: cheek until it happens to the white person. Mm hmm. Damn, 495 00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:27,880 Speaker 1: that's sucked up. Um uh So, one of my listeners 496 00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:29,520 Speaker 1: wanted to ask you this question, but I don't even 497 00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:31,280 Speaker 1: care for you to answer this question because it's like, 498 00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:36,200 Speaker 1: I I know, but it's just because it's really sad, 499 00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:37,760 Speaker 1: because like the fact that you see the sniga out 500 00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:39,840 Speaker 1: on the street and the system they protect you is 501 00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:42,120 Speaker 1: just like, and he has a possibility doing this again 502 00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:44,600 Speaker 1: to somebody else, especially a black woman, is just disgusting. 503 00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:47,120 Speaker 1: But they want to know, aren't you in a space 504 00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:52,800 Speaker 1: of forgiveness? No? Yeah, no, I tried that because my 505 00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:55,480 Speaker 1: baby dad, you said you should just forgive me. That's 506 00:29:55,480 --> 00:29:59,240 Speaker 1: that's easy to say, but that's hard to do because 507 00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:03,080 Speaker 1: why did he say that? Because he trying to you 508 00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:07,520 Speaker 1: know how when nigga's in jail and they're trying to like, yeah, 509 00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:15,200 Speaker 1: like nigga. So no, that's how that is, yo. I 510 00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:20,840 Speaker 1: think it's gonna jail like they can't burden ship, like 511 00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:23,680 Speaker 1: stop it. So no, I think it would be the 512 00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:26,720 Speaker 1: most forgiving person that you're gonna tell me, I forgive 513 00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:30,400 Speaker 1: you for everything you did, bro Okay, just no, I'm 514 00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:32,640 Speaker 1: not forgiving nothing, though, because my daughter asked me all 515 00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:35,880 Speaker 1: the time, Mommy, when you're gonna walk again? All right, Mommy, 516 00:30:36,080 --> 00:30:38,160 Speaker 1: when you walk, can we're gonna swim with the dolphins? Like? 517 00:30:38,480 --> 00:30:41,719 Speaker 1: So no, I can never forgive you. She can't forgive you, 518 00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:46,560 Speaker 1: So why would I forgive you? I know forgiveness? What 519 00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:53,000 Speaker 1: I'm saying, what is something you teach your daughter about dating? Uh? That? Look, 520 00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:55,440 Speaker 1: I don't. I just don't want her to day, to 521 00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:58,400 Speaker 1: be honest, but I always teach her everything, Like as 522 00:30:58,440 --> 00:31:00,080 Speaker 1: far as if a man is in jail, she no, 523 00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:01,440 Speaker 1: he can't do nothing for you but to talk on 524 00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:03,840 Speaker 1: the phone. So that's not a relationship, baby girl, that's 525 00:31:03,880 --> 00:31:07,320 Speaker 1: just a friend. Like make sure he treats you like 526 00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:10,680 Speaker 1: a queen. I don't like being told no. I don't 527 00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:13,040 Speaker 1: want her to know this though, because I hate being 528 00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:14,600 Speaker 1: told no. If you tell me no, I just don't 529 00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:17,240 Speaker 1: want to talk no more because I'm a spoiled brat, 530 00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:20,280 Speaker 1: but I want her just know, be treated like a queen. 531 00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:22,480 Speaker 1: If he don't love his mama or his kids, he 532 00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:27,120 Speaker 1: is not gonna love you. Um hm, that's like I'm 533 00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:29,480 Speaker 1: really big on that. Since my dad has thirteen kids. 534 00:31:29,760 --> 00:31:34,280 Speaker 1: You gotta love your kids. Mm hmm. What about your son? 535 00:31:34,360 --> 00:31:37,280 Speaker 1: What would you teach him? And just love my son 536 00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:39,640 Speaker 1: that I ever put his hands on a girl, He's 537 00:31:39,680 --> 00:31:42,200 Speaker 1: better treat his woman how he wants a man to 538 00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:44,920 Speaker 1: treat his mother, or how he treats his mother. And 539 00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:47,400 Speaker 1: my son is raised around all females for real, Like 540 00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:50,640 Speaker 1: he in a house full of females. So if he 541 00:31:50,680 --> 00:31:54,200 Speaker 1: grow up to do some crazy things, it's he's gonna 542 00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:56,720 Speaker 1: be held accountable. I'm not gonna act like my mama 543 00:31:56,760 --> 00:32:01,160 Speaker 1: acting brush stuff. Mhm. Did it bother you how your 544 00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:04,520 Speaker 1: mom acted with the situation? Yeah? So we Yeah, I 545 00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:08,960 Speaker 1: told that, you know, I told you I don't hold 546 00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:11,720 Speaker 1: my tongue at a certain time. You can cut family 547 00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:13,600 Speaker 1: members off when you get to a certain age because 548 00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:18,240 Speaker 1: they talk so and she just want to I got 549 00:32:18,280 --> 00:32:20,280 Speaker 1: a mess with her from a distance, him from a 550 00:32:20,320 --> 00:32:23,600 Speaker 1: distance and anybody that know about the situation and think 551 00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:30,560 Speaker 1: it's okay, would you have done anything different? M h. 552 00:32:31,560 --> 00:32:33,920 Speaker 1: But I'm just I'm just also curious that, like what 553 00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:36,120 Speaker 1: made him like click like that, because if he wasn't 554 00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:38,680 Speaker 1: abusive to you, wasn't that bad and relationship as far 555 00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:41,120 Speaker 1: as like how he treated you and not putting his 556 00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:43,920 Speaker 1: hands and you're like, how do you get to that extreme? 557 00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:48,240 Speaker 1: He kept trying to get me back. I know, I don't. 558 00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:50,479 Speaker 1: You're not trying to get no job like they're You're 559 00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:52,200 Speaker 1: not trying to do anything like, you're not trying to 560 00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:55,960 Speaker 1: hustle nothing. So while I'm pushing him away, he don't 561 00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:58,600 Speaker 1: like that, and I'm talking to people, which that's very 562 00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:04,960 Speaker 1: bothering to him, but still in drugs liquor. But I 563 00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:07,600 Speaker 1: didn't want them. I just don't want you. And he 564 00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:09,080 Speaker 1: had just got a jail when he got with me, 565 00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:10,640 Speaker 1: so I was the only person he had messed with, 566 00:33:11,480 --> 00:33:14,840 Speaker 1: But he didn't reach out to me like after mm 567 00:33:14,920 --> 00:33:19,880 Speaker 1: hm and said I'm sorry I didn't do this, and 568 00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:22,040 Speaker 1: artist but a crap or I'm gonna get the people 569 00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:27,960 Speaker 1: that did it. And then when I say that, say, well, 570 00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:31,800 Speaker 1: I said that he was like man, no, man, nothing 571 00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:34,960 Speaker 1: like it's you and your guys, So what you're gonna do? 572 00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:37,200 Speaker 1: You fuldn't hurt yourself. So then I'd be like, I 573 00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:40,160 Speaker 1: just shot myself then if if it wasn't you and 574 00:33:40,240 --> 00:33:43,480 Speaker 1: it wasn't them, I shot myself and he was like, 575 00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:47,640 Speaker 1: see you tripping? But who was it then? Like the air? 576 00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:54,080 Speaker 1: So I just I don't I don't know. He's just 577 00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:56,600 Speaker 1: I wish he would go to jail for or at 578 00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:58,920 Speaker 1: least get picked up for it, like get questioned or something, 579 00:33:58,960 --> 00:34:05,520 Speaker 1: you know, his cell phone, like blood samples anything. I 580 00:34:05,520 --> 00:34:07,400 Speaker 1: don't think it's ever gonna get solved. But I just 581 00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:10,239 Speaker 1: think I'm gonna walk again. Now. I think you're gonna 582 00:34:10,239 --> 00:34:13,360 Speaker 1: walk into You're very like, I mean, you k for driving, 583 00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:15,440 Speaker 1: you got a job, like you're making ship happen. So 584 00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:19,800 Speaker 1: I think it is a mind of a matter of thing. Yeah, 585 00:34:20,040 --> 00:34:23,359 Speaker 1: and going to Chicago to rehabilitation. That's a good place 586 00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:26,600 Speaker 1: to go to. So are you still going or I 587 00:34:26,640 --> 00:34:29,160 Speaker 1: plan on going back after a little on the leaves 588 00:34:30,040 --> 00:34:35,520 Speaker 1: mm hmm, So hopefully she leaves soon. But yeah, what 589 00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:37,680 Speaker 1: is your advice to women that's listening right now that's 590 00:34:37,719 --> 00:34:40,759 Speaker 1: not in a healthy relationship? I advised that you leave. 591 00:34:41,120 --> 00:34:42,880 Speaker 1: If he get mad when you get your lashes on, 592 00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:47,879 Speaker 1: that would be the one that would be the only girl. 593 00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:50,600 Speaker 1: If I got my lashes on the Live Bliss, he 594 00:34:50,640 --> 00:34:53,360 Speaker 1: would get mad, or if I got my hair done, 595 00:34:53,480 --> 00:34:56,600 Speaker 1: So that's really insecurities. Look for those things. He ain't 596 00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:58,560 Speaker 1: gotta beat on you. He can get mad over that 597 00:34:58,640 --> 00:35:03,160 Speaker 1: little ship. He should be like, oh damn big like, 598 00:35:03,320 --> 00:35:06,040 Speaker 1: how are you mad? Because I'm cute? Mm hmm. So 599 00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:11,560 Speaker 1: he would just just period. He should be uplifting you, 600 00:35:13,040 --> 00:35:18,640 Speaker 1: not where being your downfall. R if elite leave alone. Yeah, 601 00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:20,799 Speaker 1: I'll be taking care of on niggas now, yeah I 602 00:35:20,840 --> 00:35:23,680 Speaker 1: can't do that, Like it gotta be just you just 603 00:35:23,719 --> 00:35:25,680 Speaker 1: take care of me or something like that. But me 604 00:35:25,719 --> 00:35:30,239 Speaker 1: and my little news should it. That's my dog. Well, 605 00:35:30,239 --> 00:35:32,759 Speaker 1: I'm gonna definitely be checking in with your child. I mean, 606 00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:35,160 Speaker 1: this is a very sad story. But I think with 607 00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:38,040 Speaker 1: your spirit and your energy, like I definitely know you're 608 00:35:38,040 --> 00:35:40,200 Speaker 1: gonna inspire and give a lot of people hope because 609 00:35:40,239 --> 00:35:41,640 Speaker 1: you got her doing a damn thing like I don't 610 00:35:41,680 --> 00:35:44,360 Speaker 1: know you were driving. Oh yes, girls, sense it's like 611 00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:47,680 Speaker 1: last year my father taught me actually how to do 612 00:35:47,760 --> 00:35:51,480 Speaker 1: it so, and I have a cousin that's paralyzed as well. 613 00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:56,359 Speaker 1: He showed me a little things m hm. So yeah. 614 00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:58,600 Speaker 1: I at least you're not on here by yourself, so 615 00:35:58,680 --> 00:36:02,759 Speaker 1: that's even better. You. Thank you well, I want to 616 00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:05,040 Speaker 1: say thank you. If you have any questions comments with 617 00:36:05,120 --> 00:36:08,800 Speaker 1: the Organsas about this week's episode, please email me and 618 00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:12,560 Speaker 1: hello at the PhD podcast dot com. And to my guests, 619 00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:16,959 Speaker 1: thank you. You definitely asked me to laughing. You're uncle. 620 00:36:17,040 --> 00:36:20,560 Speaker 1: Thank you for having me, I know, I know, I'm 621 00:36:20,760 --> 00:36:22,680 Speaker 1: definitely checking in with you and stuff. And then you 622 00:36:22,719 --> 00:36:26,759 Speaker 1: have to send me your your business page yep, your 623 00:36:26,800 --> 00:36:32,239 Speaker 1: business information. Okay, I've seen you everything, and until next time, 624 00:36:32,280 --> 00:36:34,960 Speaker 1: everyone later, all right,