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Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to this episode of Keeping Positive.

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Speaker 2: Sweetie.

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Speaker 1: Today we are talking about can you take a Lot?

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Speaker 2: I guess you see who I'm with my company. Today

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Speaker 2: we are talking sisterhood and listen. I know you guys

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Speaker 2: know me on the TV show Sisters, But today I

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Speaker 2: have my real sisters with me. With me, I have Aril,

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Speaker 2: who is my friend. Because you know friends, they all

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Speaker 2: hold different places in your heart. Aril is the person

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Speaker 2: who I know is here for the right reasons. I

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Speaker 2: never have to question her and she's one of the

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Speaker 2: most supportive people that I know. To my right, I

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Speaker 2: have my Bood, who started off as my costume design

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Speaker 2: We costume design together for a few years for Tyler

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Speaker 2: Perry for all his projects and become one of my

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Speaker 2: closest friends.

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Speaker 1: We took a trip.

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Speaker 2: Together and after that I was like, oh, yeah, she's

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Speaker 2: stuck with me. For Brionda is the friend that will

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Speaker 2: pull up when you need her. And when I say

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Speaker 2: pull up with her nickname is Ray Ray. Honey, Ray

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Speaker 2: Ray is you see this? Smile?

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Speaker 1: Ray Ray is in the play with it. But I

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Speaker 1: love you so much.

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Speaker 2: I love you, Thank you for coming me seriously. And

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Speaker 2: my book the one Nina simment right, first of all,

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Speaker 2: is hilarious.

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Speaker 1: Second, Nina is my prayer warrior.

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Speaker 2: Anytime I'm going through anything, I know that I can

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Speaker 2: call on you to get in their prayer closet. Call

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Speaker 2: them warriors, and them angels will start to camp around me.

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Speaker 2: And I appreciate you so much. You're not only funny,

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Speaker 2: but you are my direct line to God. So I

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Speaker 2: appreciate you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so happy to.

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Speaker 2: Have you all in my life.

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Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, guys.

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Speaker 2: When I think about sisterhood, I think about the song

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Speaker 2: friend by Brandy and goes.

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Speaker 1: Don't know what I've ever do with them from the

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Speaker 1: beginning to the end.

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Speaker 3: You always been here right the sid me, so I'll

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Speaker 3: call you. I went low.

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Speaker 2: And through the good times in the bad, you guys

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Speaker 2: have all been there for me.

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Speaker 1: And I appreciate you.

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Speaker 4: Guys for us for sure. Definitely a reciprocal relationship.

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Speaker 2: Thank you ways, Thank you so much. Seriously, means a

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Speaker 2: lot for y'all to come and sit on the couch

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Speaker 2: with me. I'm here by myself sometimes I have guests,

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Speaker 2: but to share this space with you, guys who I

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Speaker 2: share a lot of my personal space with, my secrets,

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Speaker 2: my troubles, my worries, my success, joys, everything I get

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Speaker 2: to share with you guys. So to have you guys

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Speaker 2: here and to be able to say those words and

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Speaker 2: truly mean it means so much.

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Speaker 1: Can we get into have beautify?

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Speaker 3: Y'all?

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Speaker 1: Look, do y'all see the hair.

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Speaker 2: Out to Destiny Kelly who is stops by Destiny on Instagram?

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Speaker 1: You guys have seen me post her.

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Speaker 2: She does my natural hair, keeps it nice and healthy,

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Speaker 2: but she stopped by the day to take care of us,

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Speaker 2: and you guys like, oh man. So when I think

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Speaker 2: about friendship, how I define a friend is a safe space,

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Speaker 2: you know, because you can be around a lot of

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Speaker 2: people and not feel safe. But when I look at you, guys,

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Speaker 2: it's no judgment I never I can tell you guys,

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Speaker 2: just like the worst thing about me.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, you're gonna like.

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Speaker 2: Either tell me chrystals, it's okay, you're not perfect, or

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Speaker 2: you're like, hey, this.

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Speaker 1: Is something you need to work on.

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Speaker 2: You're gonna tell me the truth, you know, and you're

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Speaker 2: supportive when you need to be. You're my mirror when

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Speaker 2: I need a mirror. And friends. Friends are also non judgmental.

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Speaker 2: They are people that you can trust, people that you

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Speaker 2: can share your highs and lows with, and people that

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Speaker 2: you can grow with. And I've literally grown with all

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Speaker 2: of you.

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Speaker 1: You know, a lot of time, a lot of women.

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Speaker 2: Don't have the the ability to say that they've actually

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Speaker 2: grown with their friends, you know, because everybody's not here

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Speaker 2: to stay. But I'm glad that God has chosen you

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Speaker 2: all to like stick by me through thinking thin, how

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Speaker 2: would you guys define friends? Like when you think of

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Speaker 2: friends and sisters? Because some people have biological sisters and

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Speaker 2: some people don't.

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Speaker 1: Do you guys have any I know.

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Speaker 2: I have two sisters one So when you have people

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Speaker 2: who are not related to you come in and play

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Speaker 2: that role, what does that mean to you? And how

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Speaker 2: would you define a sister a friend?

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Speaker 5: So my sister wasn't in my life for years just

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Speaker 5: because of the strife between her and my dad. So

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Speaker 5: I looked for sisters and women friends, sorority sisters, lying sisters.

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Speaker 5: And so for me, it's support, it's unconditional love, it's

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Speaker 5: you know, check any my I need to be checked.

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Speaker 6: Don't just be my yes man, Challenge me, Challenge when

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Speaker 6: I'm not doing something right, hold me accountable.

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Speaker 5: To the goals I set for myself, but also don't

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Speaker 5: stop my growth, don't stopped me from reaching the stars.

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Speaker 5: Don't shoot down my dreams or aspirations. So that's what

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Speaker 5: a sister or a friend looks like.

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Speaker 2: To me, That's who you are.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, drink, It's my favorite part, my favorite part the dream.

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Speaker 2: How would you define a sister and a friend?

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Speaker 7: So for me, sisterhood means a lot one because I

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Speaker 7: do have a younger sister. We're eleven years apart, so

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Speaker 7: I felt more like not she was my sister, like

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Speaker 7: I was an aunt to she was my niece.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, sort of thing.

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Speaker 7: And for me, growing up as an only child for

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Speaker 7: eleven years was like I had to have for tend friends.

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Speaker 6: Right now I look at it, I.

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Speaker 7: Know, but now I look at it and I reflect

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Speaker 7: on just my friends and how my friends have developed

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Speaker 7: into my sisters. And they've been supportive, They've been there

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Speaker 7: for my growth, They've been there for my good times,

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Speaker 7: my bad times, you know, my sad times, through through.

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Speaker 1: Sickness and through health.

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Speaker 7: And when you have somebody who can be there through

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Speaker 7: every step in life, you're ebbs in your flows and support.

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Speaker 6: You no matter what.

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Speaker 7: That becomes a sister, somebody who can pray with you,

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Speaker 7: somebody who can be there for your good times and

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Speaker 7: you know, share graduations and everything with you, all those moments.

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Speaker 7: That's who you can define as a real system. Yeah,

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Speaker 7: so that's how I.

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Speaker 2: Define my sister. I love that. And when I think

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Speaker 2: about it, when I think about you, everybody that all

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Speaker 2: the women that you have in your life absolutely love you.

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Speaker 2: And I tell people, I was like, I've never met

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Speaker 2: anybody like Ryanda likes here, So you have this infectious

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Speaker 2: spirit the first thing I mentioned.

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Speaker 3: I was like, yep, this is it.

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Speaker 2: And then it's like every day our lives just continue

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Speaker 2: to grow together. But I always look around out and

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Speaker 2: see how everyone just admires you and gravitates to you

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Speaker 2: like men and women because everybody loves right.

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Speaker 7: You know what it is too, is I think because

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Speaker 7: once you find who you are as a person, right,

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Speaker 7: and you really know who you are deep within, and

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Speaker 7: people gravitate to you because they know that she knows

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Speaker 7: who she is, she knows her self worth. And I

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Speaker 7: don't come like I don't there's no fast What you

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Speaker 7: see is truly what you get and who I am

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Speaker 7: as a person, and I think that helps in all

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Speaker 7: my relationships to be genuine and real.

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Speaker 2: I love that.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, so good and so true.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yes, honey, you know I'll say this. I had

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Speaker 4: up until like my thirties, I didn't always have the

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Speaker 4: best relationship with women. And I think I placed your

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Speaker 4: sorority and it was a little caddy and then I'm

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Speaker 4: an aka.

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Speaker 3: I started light. I lay an hour, a coup of hour.

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Speaker 3: It's already and incorporated.

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Speaker 1: I had to go ahead and put that out there.

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Speaker 1: I'm surrounded by since you love.

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Speaker 3: Light, that's why you are light. That's what it is.

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Speaker 3: But I never experienced it.

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Speaker 4: Now, I mean, like in my thirties, I feel like

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Speaker 4: I can really experience true sisterhood. And I think what

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Speaker 4: it is is somebody who's with you in the valleys

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Speaker 4: and on the mountaintop. I think for me, my sisters

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Speaker 4: and my friends are like the people who they remind

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Speaker 4: me of who I am and moments when I forget,

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Speaker 4: because every time you step out your door, you scroll

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Speaker 4: on Instagram, the life is trying to tell you who

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Speaker 4: you were not. But my friends remind me, women, oh

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Speaker 4: that ain't got's best. It's not your best, This is

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Speaker 4: not who you are. You know, and will remind me

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Speaker 4: and pick me up. And so I really think that

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Speaker 4: that's what sisterhood is about.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, love it.

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Speaker 2: I love it. Has there ever been a time where

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Speaker 2: you recall that your sister was your saving grace?

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Speaker 1: And I'll go first on this story times story.

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Speaker 2: So, once upon a time I was dating this guy.

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Speaker 2: He look cute and I want him other cues, I

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Speaker 2: like other Q two. He's handsome, but he was very nigolative.

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Speaker 2: He was not ready doing other things. Had me out

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Speaker 2: here looking crazy crazy. Okay, I was looking crazy and

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Speaker 2: it got to a point where I just kept saying

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Speaker 2: sign after sign after sign, and I remember like I

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Speaker 2: had just bought a house. It was in twenty seventeen.

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Speaker 2: We met in twenty and fifteen, and we're by your

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Speaker 2: first home. This is like a new level, you know,

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Speaker 2: like God is taken to another level. And we got

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Speaker 2: in this huge fight I'm talking about. We were in Houston's,

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Speaker 2: which I love Houston's. Shout out Houston want a suspended?

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Speaker 2: Did that's.

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Speaker 1: Anytime I go to I have to send her a

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Speaker 1: picture and be like, yes I am just like last week.

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Speaker 6: Yeah I saw that photo though.

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Speaker 2: They were like, girl, is you hungry or not. But

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Speaker 2: we were at Houston's taking a little moving break because

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Speaker 2: I was moving into my house that day. My parents

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Speaker 2: were on the way, and it had started raining, and

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Speaker 2: we had a huge argument and he said something that

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Speaker 2: just why.

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Speaker 1: I say, like, y'all, I don't I'm not Eve. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna tell you all.

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Speaker 2: The truth because I don't want people thinking I'm without flaw.

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Speaker 2: I blacked out and I lost it on this man

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Speaker 2: I'm talking about. It was just like nobody puts baby

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Speaker 2: in the corner, Like you can push me and push

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Speaker 2: me and push me in that corner, and I'm gonna

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Speaker 2: keep taking it, keep taking it, keep taking it as

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Speaker 2: we do.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you know.

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Speaker 2: And I came out swinging and like literally blacked out.

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Speaker 2: Like the outlet in the back seat of the truck

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Speaker 2: was hey, I don't know, how was that in.

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Speaker 1: The backs I don't know what happened.

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Speaker 2: I was like, oh my goodness, and he put I

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Speaker 2: called Rayanda it was it started raining. He put me

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Speaker 2: out of the car. I called d and I was like,

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Speaker 2: you gotta come give me. I was like I just

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Speaker 2: lost it on him, and She's like, well.

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Speaker 1: Well, why are you? Why are you?

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Speaker 2: She pulls up on me and she gets me back

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Speaker 2: to my home. Other things transpired within that night, but

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Speaker 2: by the time the end of the night came and

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Speaker 2: I was driving to my new home, it was as

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Speaker 2: if God himself sat in the car and said, Crystal,

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Speaker 2: where I'm taking you? He can't go? And I was like, heard,

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Speaker 2: you got it. God, I'm so sorry, I got it.

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Speaker 2: I hate that it took this to get it. And

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Speaker 2: he said, I knew that you weren't going to leave

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Speaker 2: if I didn't let it get this extreme. And I

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Speaker 2: just found out last week when I asked you if

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Speaker 2: it was okay to talk about this story that you

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Speaker 2: actually were on a date and left him to come

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Speaker 2: get me. Yes.

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Speaker 7: Funny story, though the person I was on a date

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Speaker 7: with was my most toxic relationship in life.

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Speaker 6: Wow, listen, listen God.

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Speaker 1: Things happened for a reason. God makes no mistakes.

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Speaker 7: So yes, I left that date to come get my

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Speaker 7: friend because guess what, he wasn't going to be in

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Speaker 7: my life forever.

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Speaker 2: Shee wow, and there was I remember I was so

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Speaker 2: scared because I was like, I didn't know what he

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Speaker 2: was going to do after that, So I was scared

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Speaker 2: to even stay at my old place so I went

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Speaker 2: and got a room that night, and my parents are

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Speaker 2: on the way. I was scared to tell them what

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Speaker 2: had happened. Yeah, because I think in moments like that,

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Speaker 2: you are so used to being mistreated that you're like, okay,

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Speaker 2: is it gonna work again? Like I don't want to

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Speaker 2: tell two many people what have because I might get

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Speaker 2: back with him and then be embarrassed. And one thing

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Speaker 2: we know is that when your friends or family see

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Speaker 2: the flaws of your significant fact, the way your heart

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Speaker 2: can get over things, your family and friends cannot be mad,

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Speaker 2: you know.

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Speaker 1: And to this day, like we're cool now, and.

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Speaker 7: He loved right ray and I love him, but not

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Speaker 7: for you. Exactly what I'm saying.

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Speaker 3: You would love somebody, but not for you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so good, Oh my goodness.

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Speaker 1: And that's a real thing.

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Speaker 2: That's so mature. And I think a lot of times

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Speaker 2: we cut people offganize them, knowing that they're not a

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Speaker 2: bad person. They're just not ready for that, you know,

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Speaker 2: And they're just doing what they need to do.

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Speaker 1: And sometimes it's black men.

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Speaker 2: They're doing all they see, yes, you know, repeating the

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Speaker 2: cycles of their grandfather, their father who was absent, you know,

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Speaker 2: just doing what they saw thinking this is how you

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Speaker 2: do it, and also being influenced by society, you know,

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Speaker 2: and thinking, oh, this is this is what you're supposed

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Speaker 2: to do. I realize the thing, like I have a

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Speaker 2: prize right here and I'm really messing it up.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you know.

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Speaker 2: So that's my like saving great story.

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Speaker 4: And I've never shared this story before, but I feel

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Speaker 4: that to share it so it involves you.

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Speaker 2: Oh okay.

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Speaker 4: In twenty twenty two, last year was a really hard

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Speaker 4: year for me financially, and my business was suffering so bad.

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Speaker 4: And I remember at your birthday party, you know, you

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Speaker 4: had made the sponsorship of your giving for Serenity, which

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Speaker 4: is my business, and it was like every week it

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Speaker 4: was always something I would call my parents and I

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Speaker 4: could just see, like, you know, as a family business.

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Speaker 4: So to see the weight of my parents, like them

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Speaker 4: trying their best with their retirement and everything to make

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Speaker 4: this work, it just got so heavy. And I remember

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Speaker 4: me telling them, well, y'all, I got a what's the

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Speaker 4: thing called life insurance, I'll be the one. I sat

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Speaker 4: be the sacrificial land y'all could just take my life

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Speaker 4: insurance pay off all the debt.

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Speaker 3: So on this day, I had decided, you know, this

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Speaker 3: is done. Lord, I'm done with this. I am done,

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Speaker 3: you know. And I remember when going home.

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Speaker 4: I had went to work out with Jay, I had

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Speaker 4: came home and I had prayed and I said, God,

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Speaker 4: if you want me to stay, I said, you're gonna

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Speaker 4: have to lighten us.

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Speaker 3: I said, because I am not built for this, and.

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Speaker 2: I'm tired, Jesus.

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Speaker 3: I went into the office and you call me, and

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Speaker 3: I had seen it. I had text you had text

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Speaker 3: me too.

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Speaker 6: He's like, hey, I.

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Speaker 4: Didn't want to I wanted to give my donation or

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Speaker 4: whatever to your business. And I said, and she said,

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Speaker 4: I text you and you didn't get in. And I said, oh,

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Speaker 4: And at that moment, you donated to my business. And

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Speaker 4: it was a sign from God that he was with me,

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Speaker 4: and he hurt me and it literally saved my life.

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Speaker 4: And so I hear so many times on your podcast,

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Speaker 4: I just want to say this.

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Speaker 3: You talk about how Tyler was there for.

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Speaker 4: You, and he'm partonering you, but just know that what

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Speaker 4: he partdoning you was for somebody else, so you can

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Speaker 4: to them. So I love you, and I thank you

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Speaker 4: for that because you literally saved me on that day.

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Speaker 3: I got my lasses on, y'all know, cry But that's

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Speaker 3: a real story and nobody knows about that between me

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Speaker 3: and God.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Wow. And I'm just grateful that he put it on

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Speaker 2: my heart because I kept saying I'm a donated, I'm

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Speaker 2: a donate and I was waiting to divide it because

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Speaker 2: I have like a loved son that I give at

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Speaker 2: the end of the year to different people in different

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Speaker 2: projects and things that I'm passionate about, and that was

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Speaker 2: like when I wanted to give essentially to So I'm

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Speaker 2: so happy that God put it on my heart to

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Speaker 2: answer your prayer on that day, that day, and it

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Speaker 2: needed to have it on that that day because if

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Speaker 2: I hadn't done it before to be like, oh, my

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Speaker 2: friend is so great. That was good, but he needed

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Speaker 2: you to get down on your knees to that last

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Speaker 2: moment where to know that he did that, not Crystal,

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Speaker 2: you know.

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Speaker 4: And it was so funny because it was like, you know,

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Speaker 4: a lot of people want to know God as a provider,

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Speaker 4: but you can't know him as a provider that you're

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Speaker 4: in me.

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Speaker 3: And so when me calling out and saying God, I need.

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Speaker 4: You to do this, and then it immediately, you know,

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Speaker 4: people when they're trying to give you money, they.

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Speaker 3: Text you, don't respond with you, but you actually picked

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Speaker 3: up the phone to call and followed through. And it

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Speaker 3: was just like, yeah.

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Speaker 2: God sees me. Wow, that's beautiful to get emotional.

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Speaker 3: I'm just glad my last.

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Speaker 1: So mine.

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Speaker 6: You guys know or have heard.

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Speaker 5: But in twenty twenty, I was beaten by an ex

356
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Speaker 5: boyfriend and Crystal had just met him, like maybe a month.

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Speaker 6: Before it happened. And I don't want to cry.

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Speaker 2: I'm good, I'm strong.

359
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Speaker 6: It's a safe space.

360
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Speaker 5: So it happened, and Crystal was the first person I called,

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Speaker 5: and she put me in contact with her friend who's

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Speaker 5: a lieutenant of DA's office. He's the reason why he

363
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Speaker 5: got arrested abruptly, is the reason why it got to

364
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Speaker 5: where God has gotten to.

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Speaker 6: And it wasn't just that night.

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Speaker 5: Like she made sure I had a phone, she made

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Speaker 5: sure somebody was with me at all times. All of

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Speaker 5: my other friends rallied around me. So I did not

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Speaker 5: go back because again, no excuses should be made for

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Speaker 5: someone that abuses somebody. But I do understand the thought

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Speaker 5: process of someone that has abused. Immediately, you try to

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Speaker 5: figure out what you did wrong. What did I do?

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Speaker 5: How could I have prevented this? All of that, Not

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Speaker 5: for a second did I get a chance to do that.

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Speaker 5: I was reminded day in and day out, my value,

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Speaker 5: my worth, that I did not deserve what happened to me.

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Speaker 5: And even to this day, like we're three years and

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Speaker 5: as of like a couple of weeks ago, finally got

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Speaker 5: a court date. When I tell you, my friends filled

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Speaker 5: that courtroom so that you had to face all of us,

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Speaker 5: not just her, And I was reminded that You're not

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Speaker 5: alone in this. You have to get up there and speak,

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Speaker 5: but understand, you have us backing.

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Speaker 1: You, and we'll hold you.

385
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Speaker 5: If you can't hold yourself, we will be there for you.

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Speaker 5: There are people that came to my house unannounced just

387
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Speaker 5: because they knew I was not in a good place.

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Speaker 5: Pack of that, let's go, and I just I appreciate that.

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Speaker 5: I am not gonna cry because I told myself when

390
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Speaker 5: I'm from but no, that that was just before it happened.

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Speaker 5: I was always the one giving and doing, and I'm like, dang,

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Speaker 5: if I needed somebody, I couldn't call nobody tomorrow.

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Speaker 6: And then God was like, show you, let me show

394
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Speaker 6: you what you really have in your corner.

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Speaker 5: And now to this day, I would give all of

396
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Speaker 5: my friends, I would loan them to people because the

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Speaker 5: support that I get from them, it's it's unmatched.

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Speaker 6: And I'm so appreciative.

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Speaker 5: I'm so thankful because y'all to y'all know, y'all were

400
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Speaker 5: like there, like you weren't present, physically present. You were

401
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Speaker 5: there on my phone praying for me. You were in

402
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Speaker 5: a prayer closet prayer for me, or you were.

403
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Speaker 6: Pulling up on me.

404
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Speaker 5: So that's my my story when my sister showed up

405
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Speaker 5: for me and really and to this, to this people

406
00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:02,840
Speaker 5: are still texting. Okay, I didn't make it, but so

407
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:06,120
Speaker 5: good and so I appreciate that.

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Speaker 6: And I didn't cry.

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Speaker 2: It was almost there.

410
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Speaker 3: It was like.

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Speaker 4: Ray ray.

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Speaker 7: So I would say, this was a childish part of

413
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Speaker 7: my life.

414
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Speaker 2: This happened.

415
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Speaker 7: It was a boyfriend in college and I was home

416
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Speaker 7: in Pittsburgh at the time, and someone caught him cheating

417
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Speaker 7: on me, and he was out of town cheating on me,

418
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Speaker 7: and so I went to his house. Before I went

419
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Speaker 7: to his house, I called some of my friends. They

420
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Speaker 7: came to the house and we all had on all black.

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Speaker 7: My mom came on the porch and she said, I

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Speaker 7: don't know what's about to happen, but I'm just saying

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Speaker 7: a prayer for all of y'all.

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Speaker 3: So we got in the car and.

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Speaker 1: We we we.

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Speaker 7: Headed to his house and I kid you not, I

427
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Speaker 7: had toilet paper eggs like I had intended on vandalizing

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Speaker 7: this man's house. And so when we were in the

429
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Speaker 7: car about to get out, my friend said, do you

430
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Speaker 7: are you really wanting to do this? Think about it.

431
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Speaker 7: She was like, because we're gonna ride for you regardless

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Speaker 7: if you want to go, but ain't no going back

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Speaker 7: after you do it. Really, like, once it's done, it's done,

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Speaker 7: and you know what the repercussions are after. And I said,

435
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Speaker 7: you know what, I want to do it. That was

436
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Speaker 7: the one of the worst mistakes I made in my life.

437
00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:46,120
Speaker 7: But I'll say this, my friends were with my by

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Speaker 7: my side, and they tried to talk me out of it,

439
00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:50,280
Speaker 7: but they were going to be by my side regardless

440
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Speaker 7: because they were my friends.

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Speaker 4: Wow.

442
00:21:52,119 --> 00:21:56,200
Speaker 7: And we vandalized this man's house and his mother called

443
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Speaker 7: him and said, I don't know who did this to

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Speaker 7: your house, but I think it was your ex girl.

445
00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:02,720
Speaker 1: And if she ain't your exe she need to be.

446
00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:06,800
Speaker 4: Up.

447
00:22:08,359 --> 00:22:12,639
Speaker 7: So I would just say that was a learning lesson

448
00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:12,919
Speaker 7: from me.

449
00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:13,240
Speaker 4: Right.

450
00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:16,119
Speaker 7: It was a pivotal point in my life because I

451
00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:18,919
Speaker 7: realized after I did that, we had a big blow up.

452
00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:22,240
Speaker 7: We broke up, but we talked about it after we

453
00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:26,960
Speaker 7: got over the initial you know, mad state and arguing

454
00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:30,360
Speaker 7: and cussing each other out. And it made me realize,

455
00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:33,879
Speaker 7: if a relationship is that bad, if a man is

456
00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:36,720
Speaker 7: going to cheat on you, just walk away. The best

457
00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:42,119
Speaker 7: revenge is just to walk away. From that point on,

458
00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:46,200
Speaker 7: except for one time after I've literally tried to walk

459
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:49,520
Speaker 7: away from every relationship that did not serve me anymore

460
00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:53,520
Speaker 7: at that point. But that's when my friends.

461
00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:53,919
Speaker 2: Were there for me.

462
00:22:54,119 --> 00:22:56,800
Speaker 7: They were ready to write or down whatever I wanted

463
00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:58,960
Speaker 7: to do, even though they wanted to talk me out

464
00:22:59,000 --> 00:22:59,199
Speaker 7: of it.

465
00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:00,000
Speaker 1: They were there for him.

466
00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:04,560
Speaker 6: Wow, that's good.

467
00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:12,399
Speaker 3: Ride. You gotta get down there once in a while.

468
00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:18,200
Speaker 4: It's still good to my flesh to cut somebody out.

469
00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:22,200
Speaker 3: You cuts them out. I actually vandalized somebody. Did you

470
00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:25,119
Speaker 3: feel a little bit better if I did? But that

471
00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:28,119
Speaker 3: was wrong. It was wrong. It wasn't wrong.

472
00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:31,960
Speaker 6: It can be wrong, it can be wrong, and he

473
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:34,040
Speaker 6: can still.

474
00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:39,080
Speaker 4: It's not right, but it's okay, who was that?

475
00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:54,760
Speaker 8: Okay, I'm gonna make it way crazy.

476
00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:56,879
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness.

477
00:23:58,359 --> 00:24:04,440
Speaker 2: We all come from different work backgrounds, careers. What has

478
00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:06,720
Speaker 2: been like as you're getting older? Do you feel like

479
00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:09,960
Speaker 2: it's easy to nurture friendships and make new friends or

480
00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:12,000
Speaker 2: do you feel like you find it harder as you

481
00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:14,920
Speaker 2: get older and learn more? And because I know Drake

482
00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:17,240
Speaker 2: said no new friends, how do y'all feel about that?

483
00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:19,120
Speaker 3: I think it was the biggest lie told.

484
00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:24,800
Speaker 4: I feel like every season that you have, God sends people.

485
00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:26,560
Speaker 4: And I don't mean they're gonna be there for every

486
00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:29,719
Speaker 4: all your life, but he literally sends people for just

487
00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:31,520
Speaker 4: that assignment. I was just thinking about when I moved

488
00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:33,840
Speaker 4: to La, like the friends that he had sent to

489
00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:35,560
Speaker 4: help me to get my car out there.

490
00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:38,320
Speaker 3: I don't talk to these ladies anymore, but they were

491
00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:39,840
Speaker 3: on an assignment for me.

492
00:24:40,359 --> 00:24:43,239
Speaker 4: And had I been like, oh, no new friends, then

493
00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:46,439
Speaker 4: I want to have, you know, met the people that

494
00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:48,520
Speaker 4: I have met at this point. So I think it's

495
00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:52,119
Speaker 4: really important to you know, like the K commercial says,

496
00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:53,280
Speaker 4: keep your heart open.

497
00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:54,399
Speaker 3: And the love would always find itself for.

498
00:24:56,880 --> 00:25:02,520
Speaker 8: Every Caska sponsors, I.

499
00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:12,760
Speaker 6: Don't think it's harder.

500
00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:15,399
Speaker 5: I think it's easier because as you're getting older, you

501
00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:18,560
Speaker 5: should be getting wiser, should be in everybody's situation.

502
00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:21,000
Speaker 6: But it's something we talked about earlier.

503
00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:25,879
Speaker 5: I know that everybody that's in my life cannot necessarily pour.

504
00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:27,160
Speaker 6: Into the way that I pour into other people.

505
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:33,360
Speaker 5: But for me building relationships now it's like, Okay, how.

506
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:35,640
Speaker 6: Are they serving me? Are they serving me at all?

507
00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:35,960
Speaker 2: Yes?

508
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:36,280
Speaker 4: Or no?

509
00:25:36,359 --> 00:25:38,520
Speaker 5: I'm a lot more clear in what I want in

510
00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:41,000
Speaker 5: my life and what I don't, so now it's easier

511
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:43,280
Speaker 5: for me to funnel through Because I met you in

512
00:25:43,359 --> 00:25:47,240
Speaker 5: twenty nineteen, I met you in twenty twenty, it's twenty

513
00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:49,760
Speaker 5: twenty three, and I would say y'all are closer to

514
00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:52,520
Speaker 5: me than people I've known for years. But that also

515
00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:56,840
Speaker 5: comes with there's effort on both parts to build the relationship.

516
00:25:56,920 --> 00:25:58,560
Speaker 6: It's not as easy because.

517
00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:00,720
Speaker 5: We all have lives, we're all going through our own

518
00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:04,560
Speaker 5: individual things. But I think as long as you understand

519
00:26:04,680 --> 00:26:07,760
Speaker 5: what your assignment is to your pointing to the people

520
00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:09,720
Speaker 5: that are in your life and understand what their assignment

521
00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:13,160
Speaker 5: is to you and manage those expectations appropriately, because that's

522
00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:15,840
Speaker 5: when you lose people when you're thinking oh, she should

523
00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:17,960
Speaker 5: give me what she gives me, but she ain't hug

524
00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:21,200
Speaker 5: and she ain't hug and that's not what they're supposed

525
00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:25,760
Speaker 5: to do. But also, I think boundaries are healthy this

526
00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:28,040
Speaker 5: several times. Boundaries are important.

527
00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:28,800
Speaker 1: You don't have to.

528
00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:30,719
Speaker 5: Cut people off, but you do have to place them

529
00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:33,720
Speaker 5: where they're supposed to live. They don't impact your life

530
00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:36,800
Speaker 5: negatively because you can't. If you over here, you can't

531
00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:39,120
Speaker 5: affect what's over here. But I can meet you over

532
00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:41,000
Speaker 5: here from time to time to check on you and

533
00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:43,280
Speaker 5: have a conversation with you, but you can't come over here.

534
00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:44,960
Speaker 6: It's too sacred over here.

535
00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:47,080
Speaker 3: That was good.

536
00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:51,399
Speaker 2: You tap into something that my manager DeNora touched on

537
00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:55,480
Speaker 2: today on Instagram and it really resonated with me. A

538
00:26:55,520 --> 00:26:57,320
Speaker 2: lot of times, I think when it comes to pouring

539
00:26:57,359 --> 00:27:00,840
Speaker 2: into other people, and we pour poor and like, well

540
00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:03,359
Speaker 2: I'm not getting it back. And she said something today

541
00:27:03,359 --> 00:27:06,640
Speaker 2: and I was like, Wow, that's it. We can pour

542
00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:09,080
Speaker 2: into people, but maybe it's not their assignment to pour

543
00:27:09,119 --> 00:27:09,680
Speaker 2: into us.

544
00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:12,520
Speaker 1: So sometimes our assignment is literally that.

545
00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:15,240
Speaker 2: Person, and you know, and when she said, I was like, wow,

546
00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:17,399
Speaker 2: that is so powerful because what we need may be

547
00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:20,200
Speaker 2: coming from someone else. But we're looking for it to

548
00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:21,880
Speaker 2: come from the person that we're just giving and given

549
00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:25,000
Speaker 2: and given to thinking that we're being depleted. And this

550
00:27:25,119 --> 00:27:26,240
Speaker 2: is not equally.

551
00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:27,320
Speaker 1: Yoked like you're not doing enough.

552
00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:29,399
Speaker 2: But the thing is maybe there they don't have it

553
00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:31,440
Speaker 2: to give, and maybe it's not for them to give

554
00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:34,000
Speaker 2: in that relationship. But this person is here to give

555
00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:37,159
Speaker 2: to you the way you need. So when she said that,

556
00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:39,280
Speaker 2: I was like, Wow, you just you said something really

557
00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:40,320
Speaker 2: reminded me of that.

558
00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:42,720
Speaker 3: Every place you so is not gonna be where you reap.

559
00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:49,520
Speaker 5: You have to believe that and be patient. Yeah, but

560
00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:51,280
Speaker 5: again it's the expectation management.

561
00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:54,159
Speaker 6: It goes back the.

562
00:27:54,160 --> 00:27:56,840
Speaker 2: Same way with men.

563
00:27:57,160 --> 00:27:59,080
Speaker 6: Why are you taking to men from a boy? Same

564
00:27:59,119 --> 00:28:02,800
Speaker 6: with your girlfriend? Yeah, friends from your acquaintances.

565
00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:05,639
Speaker 4: And I think friendship really for me at this age

566
00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:09,720
Speaker 4: is about honesty. I think you have to give your friends,

567
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:12,440
Speaker 4: like the honest truth. We can do it with love,

568
00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:14,919
Speaker 4: or can get there and tell them the truth. But

569
00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:17,080
Speaker 4: I cannot have people around me that I cannot tell

570
00:28:17,119 --> 00:28:17,600
Speaker 4: the truth too.

571
00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:19,679
Speaker 3: I have to be able to tell you the truth,

572
00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:21,760
Speaker 3: and you have to give me the grace to be

573
00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:24,480
Speaker 3: able to be myself for sure. And I give that

574
00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:26,880
Speaker 3: same grace to my friends as well. So it's important,

575
00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:29,040
Speaker 3: you know.

576
00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:32,080
Speaker 7: I want to speak to that because I've had a

577
00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:37,280
Speaker 7: long term friendship and I don't really have many fallouts

578
00:28:37,280 --> 00:28:39,600
Speaker 7: with friends, but we had a fallen out. And what

579
00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:41,800
Speaker 7: I found out is sometimes it's okay to take a

580
00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:44,320
Speaker 7: break from people. You can be friends with people and

581
00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:47,760
Speaker 7: disagree on something and it's okay to take breaks. You

582
00:28:47,760 --> 00:28:51,000
Speaker 7: don't have to be in the same space, at the

583
00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:54,000
Speaker 7: same level with that friend at all time, because you

584
00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:56,160
Speaker 7: can disagree on something and say, Okay, I need a

585
00:28:56,160 --> 00:28:58,360
Speaker 7: break from you for a minute. And that's what I did.

586
00:28:58,520 --> 00:29:02,000
Speaker 7: We took a step apart. But then in that moment,

587
00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:04,800
Speaker 7: it was like a few months had passed and we realized,

588
00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:07,400
Speaker 7: you know, how much we missed each other. Now that's

589
00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:12,200
Speaker 7: not always the case. You can step apart and realize like, oh,

590
00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:16,560
Speaker 7: I'm better without that person. But for us, we realized

591
00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:19,520
Speaker 7: that we really, really truly missed each other. And so we,

592
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:22,760
Speaker 7: as adults, you know, set up a time to talk

593
00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:25,920
Speaker 7: about everything, like what is our issues with each other?

594
00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:29,040
Speaker 7: How can we correct it? You know, what are my

595
00:29:29,160 --> 00:29:32,280
Speaker 7: flaws and this friendship? What are your flaws and this friendship?

596
00:29:32,400 --> 00:29:35,040
Speaker 7: And it made us closer, you know what I mean,

597
00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:37,320
Speaker 7: And it made us respect each other's boundaries in a

598
00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:42,000
Speaker 7: different way because sometimes I could think that I'm not overstepping,

599
00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:45,360
Speaker 7: but I could be overstepping. You see what I'm saying.

600
00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:49,760
Speaker 7: And open communication and real communication helps you understand your

601
00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:51,040
Speaker 7: friend inside and out.

602
00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:53,080
Speaker 2: You know what I mean, because what.

603
00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:55,080
Speaker 7: Your friend was at because we've been friends since we

604
00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:58,200
Speaker 7: were in middle school. So with my friends, expectations of

605
00:29:58,200 --> 00:30:02,880
Speaker 7: a friendship in high school and college has changed as women,

606
00:30:03,280 --> 00:30:05,160
Speaker 7: you know what I mean, And with her boundaries were

607
00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:08,080
Speaker 7: then aren't her same boundaries? So sometimes you got to

608
00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:11,080
Speaker 7: do self checkings friend checking like I do them in

609
00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:13,760
Speaker 7: relationships with men, and I do them in relationships with friends.

610
00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:16,240
Speaker 7: Let's have a check in, like how you know it's

611
00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:19,320
Speaker 7: okay and it's healthy to do that because you're not

612
00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:22,280
Speaker 7: always on the same page and you might notice some

613
00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:23,640
Speaker 7: tension but not know why.

614
00:30:23,960 --> 00:30:25,200
Speaker 2: No, let's talk about it.

615
00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:28,080
Speaker 6: I say communication eliminates.

616
00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:29,720
Speaker 2: Confusion, Yes, absolutely, just.

617
00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:34,760
Speaker 6: In your personal relationship period communications.

618
00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:37,160
Speaker 5: But yeah, like I think the check ins are great.

619
00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:40,320
Speaker 5: It's necessary. Like to your point, we're growing and we're

620
00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:42,440
Speaker 5: changing and our priorities are changing, and you need to

621
00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:43,880
Speaker 5: make sure you can meet me where I.

622
00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:44,880
Speaker 6: Am or vice versa.

623
00:30:45,120 --> 00:30:47,960
Speaker 5: Yes, I have never fallen out with a friend where

624
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:50,520
Speaker 5: I can't where we can't come back from it. But

625
00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:52,760
Speaker 5: I do think that again, I'm a person of just

626
00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:56,520
Speaker 5: boundaries because life is short, people are dying. We just

627
00:30:56,560 --> 00:30:59,760
Speaker 5: talked about this earlier, like closer to our agent. Yes,

628
00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:02,080
Speaker 5: you don't have a chance to mend that. So is

629
00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:04,160
Speaker 5: there a way to still be in each other's lives

630
00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:06,160
Speaker 5: but within a certain capacity?

631
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:06,880
Speaker 2: Yeah?

632
00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:10,120
Speaker 5: Is that possible. I'm not a person to say cut

633
00:31:10,200 --> 00:31:13,480
Speaker 5: him off, cut it off. Well him maybe heard now right,

634
00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:16,560
Speaker 5: but you know, just set some boundaries, set it to

635
00:31:16,560 --> 00:31:18,320
Speaker 5: where it works for both of you, and if it can,

636
00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:22,160
Speaker 5: it can't, but at least try. You will never regret trying,

637
00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:24,600
Speaker 5: especially if that was a friend a sister.

638
00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:27,800
Speaker 6: For however many years. But I haven't found.

639
00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:29,800
Speaker 5: Out with nobody to really have to give an input

640
00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:30,400
Speaker 5: on that though.

641
00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:36,880
Speaker 2: That's good, that's good, That's a blessing because recently you

642
00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:38,640
Speaker 2: all know that I'm going through something with a really

643
00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:42,000
Speaker 2: close friend of mine and it just got to the

644
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:44,360
Speaker 2: point where I realized, like, this person isn't happy for me.

645
00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:47,920
Speaker 2: You know, they're not happy for my success. It was

646
00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:51,840
Speaker 2: underlying jealousy, envy, and a lot of things going on

647
00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:55,200
Speaker 2: that I was blind to for a while. And then

648
00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:58,000
Speaker 2: as I continue to calm, I'm like, wait, I started

649
00:31:58,160 --> 00:32:00,840
Speaker 2: like just noticing, like this person really isn't here for

650
00:32:00,920 --> 00:32:03,760
Speaker 2: me the way I feel like it goes back to

651
00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:05,800
Speaker 2: like I'm here for you, you know, and I've done

652
00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:09,200
Speaker 2: these things for you. Why can't I get the same return?

653
00:32:09,600 --> 00:32:13,040
Speaker 2: And I found myself just like, Okay, that's what you're

654
00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:14,920
Speaker 2: gonna do. That's what I'm gonna do. So I wouldn't

655
00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:18,040
Speaker 2: support her, you know, and I pulled back on my

656
00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:21,200
Speaker 2: giving because I'm like, I'm literally sharing everything with you

657
00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:23,800
Speaker 2: my whole life, you know, even like put you in

658
00:32:23,800 --> 00:32:26,800
Speaker 2: a position that didn't work out. That's not my fault

659
00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:28,920
Speaker 2: that didn't work out, but I put you in position.

660
00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:30,920
Speaker 2: I've included you in every single part of my life,

661
00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:33,400
Speaker 2: even with my family. And it got to the point

662
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:36,360
Speaker 2: where it got very territorial. So if I wanted to

663
00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:38,880
Speaker 2: do something with just say I want to do something

664
00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:41,480
Speaker 2: with you, you know, then it was an issue. Or

665
00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:43,720
Speaker 2: if I wanted to go on vacation with somebody else

666
00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:45,920
Speaker 2: or go somewhere without her, it became an issue. That

667
00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:48,360
Speaker 2: got territorial, and I'm just like, you don't own me,

668
00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:51,320
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying, And I've done enough, and

669
00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:55,400
Speaker 2: I say it like I go through days where like

670
00:32:55,480 --> 00:32:57,720
Speaker 2: I miss miss her so much, and then it's other

671
00:32:57,760 --> 00:33:00,080
Speaker 2: times where I'm like, but that wasn't healthy for me,

672
00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:03,120
Speaker 2: you know. And that goes back to having boundaries. It

673
00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:06,840
Speaker 2: goes back to knowing where you are in your life

674
00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:10,400
Speaker 2: and understanding that. My therapist told me, she said, everybody

675
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:12,360
Speaker 2: that comes with you can't go with you. And I

676
00:33:12,400 --> 00:33:15,160
Speaker 2: think we get stuck on this loyalty thing, like now

677
00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:17,080
Speaker 2: that was with me in the trenches, like I gotta

678
00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:18,840
Speaker 2: take them with me, I gotta put my dog on,

679
00:33:18,960 --> 00:33:21,040
Speaker 2: I gotta do this, got to do that. Then you

680
00:33:21,120 --> 00:33:22,560
Speaker 2: like have this guilt sure where you feel like you

681
00:33:22,560 --> 00:33:24,480
Speaker 2: got to do all these things, but then you realize

682
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:27,440
Speaker 2: all this stuff isn't enough, and then you don't spend

683
00:33:27,480 --> 00:33:30,880
Speaker 2: all this money, spend all this time trying to cultivate

684
00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:33,960
Speaker 2: a person who wasn't ready to be cultivated. And I

685
00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:38,000
Speaker 2: would always say, if you're my best friend, you're right

686
00:33:38,040 --> 00:33:41,960
Speaker 2: here with me. And God hasn't done it yet. What

687
00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:43,360
Speaker 2: makes think he's not going to do it? If he

688
00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:45,479
Speaker 2: did it for me. You know what I'm saying, But

689
00:33:45,560 --> 00:33:48,239
Speaker 2: you can't see past Well, I should be where she is.

690
00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:50,200
Speaker 2: I'm not there. Why am I not there? You know,

691
00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:53,320
Speaker 2: like we came together. Why is everybody around me continue

692
00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:55,560
Speaker 2: to elevate and I'm not. And I was like, we

693
00:33:55,600 --> 00:33:56,960
Speaker 2: had a heart to heart one day and I was

694
00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:59,360
Speaker 2: just like, it's because you're not happy for people. God

695
00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:01,120
Speaker 2: looks at your heart. He looks at the people that

696
00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:03,040
Speaker 2: are cheering up people on when it's not their season.

697
00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:04,760
Speaker 1: They can be like God, I know if you do.

698
00:34:04,840 --> 00:34:06,120
Speaker 1: We always say, I see what you do.

699
00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:09,560
Speaker 3: You're not a respect of process.

700
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:13,839
Speaker 2: I know it's but people get so down in themselves

701
00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:17,239
Speaker 2: that they can't see that you're right here. Yeah, you

702
00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:19,839
Speaker 2: know what I'm saying, Like we all have our things

703
00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:22,120
Speaker 2: going on, but when you put up my neighborhood, we

704
00:34:22,160 --> 00:34:27,319
Speaker 2: all we all and it like, so if you're right here,

705
00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:28,200
Speaker 2: it's gonna happen.

706
00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:29,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, you're in the proximity.

707
00:34:30,120 --> 00:34:33,240
Speaker 4: And I think sometimes jealousy jealousy is a natural emotion,

708
00:34:33,600 --> 00:34:35,440
Speaker 4: but I remember, God give me a revelation. It's like

709
00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:37,279
Speaker 4: the only way you can really be jealous is you

710
00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:41,200
Speaker 4: forget the plans that I have for Yes, yes, I

711
00:34:41,239 --> 00:34:43,440
Speaker 4: have plans for you to prosper you and not to

712
00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:43,960
Speaker 4: harm you.

713
00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:46,279
Speaker 3: That don't mean I don't have those same plans for

714
00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:46,960
Speaker 3: a Christal.

715
00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:52,360
Speaker 1: I got them for you.

716
00:34:52,239 --> 00:34:54,680
Speaker 4: And so I think for me, like growing up, I

717
00:34:54,719 --> 00:34:57,320
Speaker 4: had the worst situation with France.

718
00:34:57,360 --> 00:34:59,840
Speaker 3: It was always so caddy all throughout my twenties.

719
00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:02,120
Speaker 4: I made a vow when I got in my thirties

720
00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:04,520
Speaker 4: I'm not arguing with friends. I said, Lord, for whoever

721
00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:06,279
Speaker 4: you need to take, you have to take. And one

722
00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:08,080
Speaker 4: of the things that one of my friends pointed out

723
00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:10,960
Speaker 4: to me, now I have the healthiest relationships that I've

724
00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:13,440
Speaker 4: ever had in my life as far as friendships now

725
00:35:13,440 --> 00:35:14,040
Speaker 4: with me and I don't know.

726
00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:15,280
Speaker 2: I don't know about that.

727
00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:19,160
Speaker 3: But people have an exploration date.

728
00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:24,560
Speaker 4: They have an exploration date, and sometimes we have to

729
00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:29,399
Speaker 4: be okay with God saying I love you, but that's

730
00:35:29,520 --> 00:35:31,960
Speaker 4: not where this can go.

731
00:35:32,440 --> 00:35:34,000
Speaker 2: And that's hard.

732
00:35:34,040 --> 00:35:36,520
Speaker 4: That's hard because we grew up being loyal and stuff

733
00:35:36,520 --> 00:35:36,759
Speaker 4: like that.

734
00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:40,239
Speaker 3: So I feel like I'm like now channeling that, like

735
00:35:40,520 --> 00:35:42,360
Speaker 3: got you sure that.

736
00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:49,040
Speaker 7: We're fighting it, But people come in your life for

737
00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:52,920
Speaker 7: a season in a lifetime. Sometimes it's really up to

738
00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:56,520
Speaker 7: us to really pay attention and hone in on what

739
00:35:56,719 --> 00:35:59,720
Speaker 7: with stage there are they in there for just a reason,

740
00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:02,719
Speaker 7: and that reason not necessarily has to be bad. It

741
00:36:02,719 --> 00:36:04,520
Speaker 7: could be it for a good reason for you to

742
00:36:04,560 --> 00:36:07,880
Speaker 7: be a blessing to them or to teach them something.

743
00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:11,600
Speaker 7: It could be for a lifetime to where they're going

744
00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:14,960
Speaker 7: to weather all the seasons with you the duration of

745
00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:15,399
Speaker 7: your life.

746
00:36:17,040 --> 00:36:25,640
Speaker 5: Yes, you have to be your friends everybody right now? Everyone, Yes,

747
00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:30,120
Speaker 5: adding value? Areating you are they sucking, sucking the life

748
00:36:30,120 --> 00:36:31,480
Speaker 5: out of you.

749
00:36:31,520 --> 00:36:33,360
Speaker 4: And the only way people can really go with you

750
00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:36,319
Speaker 4: for a lifetime, in my opinion at this age, is

751
00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:37,120
Speaker 4: if they.

752
00:36:36,960 --> 00:36:38,600
Speaker 3: Are doing the work on themselves.

753
00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:42,440
Speaker 5: Because you know what I'm saying, I am, you are,

754
00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:47,720
Speaker 5: you are, and you are. If you're not, you can't see, Yeah, it's.

755
00:36:46,840 --> 00:36:49,080
Speaker 6: Gonna it's gonna shows showing jealousy.

756
00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:51,880
Speaker 5: It's gonna show because then you're comparing yourself in comparison

757
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:56,839
Speaker 5: is what Jesus not comparing and just start appreciating where

758
00:36:56,840 --> 00:36:59,400
Speaker 5: you are and see where that takes you. But it

759
00:36:59,440 --> 00:37:02,799
Speaker 5: also takes a person that's ready to be accountable, and

760
00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:03,759
Speaker 5: some people are not.

761
00:37:03,920 --> 00:37:06,600
Speaker 4: And I will say this, when I was able to

762
00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:08,359
Speaker 4: let people go that I felt like we're.

763
00:37:08,239 --> 00:37:10,719
Speaker 3: Gonna be for a lifetime. God gave me better me.

764
00:37:12,040 --> 00:37:13,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's how you know.

765
00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:17,600
Speaker 7: That's your confirmation though, that's your confirmation when that happens

766
00:37:17,640 --> 00:37:20,400
Speaker 7: and he shows you the light, that's your confirmation.

767
00:37:20,480 --> 00:37:24,120
Speaker 5: But it's okay to be hesitant because that's that's life.

768
00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:26,280
Speaker 5: You don't know what's on the other side of that door,

769
00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:28,840
Speaker 5: but you do have to remember who we serve and

770
00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:30,600
Speaker 5: who we have our faith in. It's not in us

771
00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:33,520
Speaker 5: because he knows of the plans we don't, So it's

772
00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:36,400
Speaker 5: just really owning that. But also understand the longer you

773
00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:39,960
Speaker 5: lost somebody in your life, that's why you ain't you know,

774
00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:43,160
Speaker 5: you see it. You're no longer blind, you can't see,

775
00:37:43,760 --> 00:37:46,080
Speaker 5: and you're allowing that person there. So now you have

776
00:37:46,120 --> 00:37:53,839
Speaker 5: to take accountability for yourself for allowing it.

777
00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:57,719
Speaker 2: Because I had a friend that I was so so

778
00:37:57,840 --> 00:38:01,839
Speaker 2: close to, like fines, and we fell out and it.

779
00:38:01,800 --> 00:38:03,600
Speaker 1: Got to home, like what did we fall out about?

780
00:38:03,800 --> 00:38:07,360
Speaker 1: You know, because it ended up not even being us.

781
00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:09,560
Speaker 2: Some people around us that it just didn't look right,

782
00:38:10,080 --> 00:38:12,560
Speaker 2: And years went on and we didn't talk.

783
00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:15,400
Speaker 1: Life moved on, and she hit.

784
00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:16,960
Speaker 2: Me randomly out of the blue, one day and was like,

785
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:19,360
Speaker 2: I've been in counseling and I just wanted to know

786
00:38:19,400 --> 00:38:21,920
Speaker 2: if we could sit down and talk. So we sat

787
00:38:21,960 --> 00:38:25,040
Speaker 2: down and had a conversation, and we are back like

788
00:38:25,160 --> 00:38:26,480
Speaker 2: love or to death. You know what I'm saying. We're

789
00:38:26,480 --> 00:38:28,840
Speaker 2: not like we were before. And I say that to

790
00:38:28,880 --> 00:38:32,239
Speaker 2: say that, not all like friends that get you what

791
00:38:32,239 --> 00:38:33,840
Speaker 2: I'm saying, put on pause, like you say, sometime you

792
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:35,799
Speaker 2: need to break or be like this isn't it for me?

793
00:38:36,880 --> 00:38:39,120
Speaker 2: If people are accountable, go back to that word that

794
00:38:39,120 --> 00:38:42,439
Speaker 2: they're accountable and do the work and then are big

795
00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:44,719
Speaker 2: enough to come back and say, hey, this is where

796
00:38:44,719 --> 00:38:46,200
Speaker 2: I fell short. And I see what you were trying

797
00:38:46,200 --> 00:38:47,760
Speaker 2: to do for me. I see it, and I was wrong,

798
00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:50,440
Speaker 2: and can we mend this thing. It may not go

799
00:38:50,520 --> 00:38:53,280
Speaker 2: back to what it was, but like I never stopped

800
00:38:53,280 --> 00:38:56,239
Speaker 2: loving you. I'm always praying for you, Like so I

801
00:38:56,280 --> 00:38:57,640
Speaker 2: can let you back in, but we say in a

802
00:38:57,640 --> 00:38:59,880
Speaker 2: different capacity. It may not be how it was before.

803
00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:03,839
Speaker 2: But you can call me anytime you need me. If

804
00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:05,200
Speaker 2: you want to go on a trip every now and then,

805
00:39:05,239 --> 00:39:05,680
Speaker 2: we can do.

806
00:39:05,640 --> 00:39:06,600
Speaker 1: That in town.

807
00:39:06,719 --> 00:39:09,440
Speaker 2: Hit me up with just some birthday gifts, Like I

808
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:12,240
Speaker 2: really loved her and love her to death now still

809
00:39:12,280 --> 00:39:14,359
Speaker 2: to this day. But that's just an example of how

810
00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:15,920
Speaker 2: I fell out with somebody.

811
00:39:16,280 --> 00:39:16,839
Speaker 1: It was a break.

812
00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:17,880
Speaker 2: It's like, you know what I'm saying. It was just

813
00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:20,640
Speaker 2: nothing that we did. It was people around us. And

814
00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:22,520
Speaker 2: when she got to the bob and she's like, dang,

815
00:39:23,360 --> 00:39:26,000
Speaker 2: I miss my friend. Yeah, And that's how we got

816
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:27,080
Speaker 2: I love her, you know.

817
00:39:27,239 --> 00:39:29,759
Speaker 4: You know I had a friend do that one time

818
00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:31,240
Speaker 4: and she came to me and I wasn't honest.

819
00:39:31,280 --> 00:39:32,520
Speaker 3: This is what I say about honesty.

820
00:39:32,840 --> 00:39:34,879
Speaker 4: I wasn't honest with her about how I felt about

821
00:39:34,880 --> 00:39:37,920
Speaker 4: a situation. Well, two years went but we didn't speak,

822
00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:40,120
Speaker 4: and she reached out to me, like you've really been

823
00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:41,560
Speaker 4: on my heart and I was like, okay. We got

824
00:39:41,560 --> 00:39:44,000
Speaker 4: together and I told her, you know, your friendship with

825
00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:46,160
Speaker 4: this person really bothers.

826
00:39:45,880 --> 00:39:49,080
Speaker 3: Me because that person tried to fight me this problem.

827
00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:52,680
Speaker 3: And she said, well, they can go because you are

828
00:39:52,719 --> 00:39:55,440
Speaker 3: the most important thing to me, and that meant so

829
00:39:55,520 --> 00:39:56,000
Speaker 3: much to me.

830
00:39:56,640 --> 00:40:01,040
Speaker 4: I think sometimes we villainize people, but if we really

831
00:40:01,040 --> 00:40:03,359
Speaker 4: get down to being honest with them and give them

832
00:40:03,360 --> 00:40:05,960
Speaker 4: an option, because if I don't give you all, if

833
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:07,359
Speaker 4: I'm not honest with you, I don't give you.

834
00:40:07,280 --> 00:40:09,320
Speaker 3: An option to be able to choose.

835
00:40:09,680 --> 00:40:11,960
Speaker 4: But when I am honest with you, then I give

836
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:14,200
Speaker 4: you an option to show me who you really are.

837
00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:17,120
Speaker 4: And so that honesty in her saying that that she

838
00:40:17,320 --> 00:40:20,960
Speaker 4: chose me, I love her to go.

839
00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:24,319
Speaker 2: Come on, I love it. So, you know, like in

840
00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:38,600
Speaker 2: relationships with men, we have love languages, yes, friendship yes, absolutely, God.

841
00:40:39,640 --> 00:40:42,920
Speaker 6: I do words of affirmation really.

842
00:40:42,680 --> 00:40:45,279
Speaker 1: Yes, absolutely, I love I mean.

843
00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:48,640
Speaker 7: And that's the thing is, like I love giving my

844
00:40:48,719 --> 00:40:51,600
Speaker 7: friends work because I grew up with a mom who

845
00:40:52,560 --> 00:40:55,040
Speaker 7: is so she sings, She used to be a singer.

846
00:40:55,360 --> 00:40:59,640
Speaker 7: She sings everywhere, and she will compliment every single stranger

847
00:40:59,680 --> 00:41:02,320
Speaker 7: she found beauty and everything. She's always been one of

848
00:41:02,360 --> 00:41:04,960
Speaker 7: those type of people. And so she always taught me, like,

849
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:07,400
Speaker 7: if you see somebody and you think they're beautiful, you

850
00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:09,040
Speaker 7: think they have on a nice outfit, say it.

851
00:41:09,160 --> 00:41:10,719
Speaker 1: There's nothing wrong.

852
00:41:10,480 --> 00:41:14,920
Speaker 7: With complimenting people because you, yes, you might put a

853
00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:17,440
Speaker 7: smile on somebody's face for a reason. You not know

854
00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:19,000
Speaker 7: what is going on in their lives.

855
00:41:21,239 --> 00:41:24,040
Speaker 2: You're slower everybody because you never know what somebody is

856
00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:25,960
Speaker 2: going through, and your smile may change that day.

857
00:41:26,120 --> 00:41:29,399
Speaker 4: Yes, kind And I say that about my friendships now,

858
00:41:29,480 --> 00:41:34,280
Speaker 4: like being with Crystal and my friendships now, and I'm like, dang,

859
00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:37,279
Speaker 4: I really have nice girls because I grew up in

860
00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:39,879
Speaker 4: I guess a mean girl era, but now people are

861
00:41:39,960 --> 00:41:40,560
Speaker 4: so nice.

862
00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:45,680
Speaker 3: I'm like, I can't be nice. I don't mean me

863
00:41:45,680 --> 00:41:47,640
Speaker 3: me being a baddie. That don't means she's not a

864
00:41:47,680 --> 00:41:51,920
Speaker 3: baddy too. It was like.

865
00:41:55,719 --> 00:41:55,799
Speaker 2: This.

866
00:41:57,400 --> 00:41:58,360
Speaker 1: Is my third time.

867
00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:05,480
Speaker 6: Language with your friends?

868
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:12,080
Speaker 3: I would say access, service, gifts, and quality time. I

869
00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:16,360
Speaker 3: like to do things for my friends.

870
00:42:16,480 --> 00:42:22,799
Speaker 4: If I can't spend quality time, I pray to God

871
00:42:22,840 --> 00:42:24,960
Speaker 4: that I can see them the way he sees them,

872
00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:27,120
Speaker 4: so if I need to say something, I can say it.

873
00:42:27,760 --> 00:42:30,799
Speaker 4: And then gifts. I love some gifts and I try

874
00:42:30,840 --> 00:42:34,280
Speaker 4: my best to give those gifts back, you know or whatever.

875
00:42:34,400 --> 00:42:37,799
Speaker 3: So I think that's those are my love languages. Let

876
00:42:37,840 --> 00:42:43,600
Speaker 3: me say someone a good gift, I gotta.

877
00:42:43,920 --> 00:42:45,040
Speaker 6: I can't quite match.

878
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:55,680
Speaker 3: I'm about to blow down. Don't alone, guys.

879
00:42:55,640 --> 00:42:59,760
Speaker 6: Say what is your love language for your friends?

880
00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:02,959
Speaker 1: For my friends, quality time? I love getting one because

881
00:43:03,120 --> 00:43:04,279
Speaker 1: I don't have a lot of time.

882
00:43:04,680 --> 00:43:06,719
Speaker 2: So we get to like do our little day nights

883
00:43:06,719 --> 00:43:09,759
Speaker 2: and girls night and just talk and drink and laugh

884
00:43:09,840 --> 00:43:12,640
Speaker 2: and Kiki those are the most special moments for me

885
00:43:13,960 --> 00:43:16,319
Speaker 2: because like, I don't get that a lot, you.

886
00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:17,720
Speaker 1: Know, because I'm so busy with everything.

887
00:43:17,760 --> 00:43:20,960
Speaker 2: And then I would say words of affirmation with you

888
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:23,040
Speaker 2: guys do that all the time, pouring to me. Let

889
00:43:23,040 --> 00:43:25,320
Speaker 2: me know, hey, since I see you, I'm proud of you.

890
00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:28,560
Speaker 2: And yes, I wouldn't say I'm gonna give I love

891
00:43:28,640 --> 00:43:29,000
Speaker 2: giving it.

892
00:43:29,560 --> 00:43:36,680
Speaker 9: I don't think it's hurts for my man I like it.

893
00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:39,440
Speaker 9: It's all over them, but yeah, but for my girls

894
00:43:39,480 --> 00:43:41,719
Speaker 9: it's really that like, but I do I love.

895
00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:44,520
Speaker 2: It's something about giving you guys stuff and then like

896
00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:48,799
Speaker 2: seeing you light up, like I mean, being somewhere and

897
00:43:48,920 --> 00:43:50,560
Speaker 2: I feel like which one you like and she's like

898
00:43:50,600 --> 00:43:51,680
Speaker 2: I like this, I'm okay.

899
00:43:51,800 --> 00:43:53,839
Speaker 1: And then like a week let I got surprised her

900
00:43:53,880 --> 00:43:54,640
Speaker 1: with it and.

901
00:43:54,600 --> 00:44:02,040
Speaker 2: She's like, you know, I been like her, But no,

902
00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:04,400
Speaker 2: I do I love. I love just like seeing people

903
00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:07,480
Speaker 2: light up. I'm like that like holidays, birthdays, Christmas, That's

904
00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:07,960
Speaker 2: just my thing.

905
00:44:08,600 --> 00:44:10,600
Speaker 1: But yeah, I'll just say those.

906
00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:13,719
Speaker 2: I'm big on quality time and words of affirmation for

907
00:44:13,840 --> 00:44:16,520
Speaker 2: my girls, and I get that from all y'all.

908
00:44:18,360 --> 00:44:22,200
Speaker 5: Is quality time, no question. I don't care you don't

909
00:44:22,200 --> 00:44:24,560
Speaker 5: have to buy me a thing. You just spend time

910
00:44:24,600 --> 00:44:27,440
Speaker 5: with me dinners one for a while working out.

911
00:44:27,640 --> 00:44:32,560
Speaker 2: But then summertime I need to get some breaks.

912
00:44:35,200 --> 00:44:39,240
Speaker 5: But I think acts of service in the meaning serving

913
00:44:39,280 --> 00:44:39,880
Speaker 5: other people.

914
00:44:40,280 --> 00:44:42,839
Speaker 6: People coming. When y'all came to volunteer in me last year, that.

915
00:44:42,840 --> 00:44:43,479
Speaker 2: Warmed my heart.

916
00:44:43,640 --> 00:44:46,880
Speaker 5: Yes, that's my passion, So immedity where I am and

917
00:44:46,920 --> 00:44:47,919
Speaker 5: helping somebody else.

918
00:44:48,360 --> 00:44:49,400
Speaker 6: That means the world we'll.

919
00:44:49,239 --> 00:44:49,719
Speaker 1: Think about you.

920
00:44:49,719 --> 00:44:57,320
Speaker 2: You're gonna show up anything.

921
00:44:57,760 --> 00:45:00,359
Speaker 6: People flowers where they can smell them to spill.

922
00:45:00,440 --> 00:45:06,160
Speaker 2: My flowers always so beautiful, like if I don't ever

923
00:45:06,200 --> 00:45:09,520
Speaker 2: have to worry about anybody gonna ever game flowers because.

924
00:45:11,160 --> 00:45:14,120
Speaker 3: She's gonna bake your cake will sweep my roll. She

925
00:45:14,239 --> 00:45:18,319
Speaker 3: mad that she made that. Now we all have a

926
00:45:18,400 --> 00:45:22,400
Speaker 3: slive list, but I appreciate it.

927
00:45:22,560 --> 00:45:28,959
Speaker 1: You have a slip I have. I can't stop. I can't.

928
00:45:29,040 --> 00:45:31,440
Speaker 2: It's likely got so good against that And I'm a

929
00:45:31,520 --> 00:45:32,080
Speaker 2: cake girls.

930
00:45:32,080 --> 00:45:32,960
Speaker 3: Your cakes are good.

931
00:45:33,680 --> 00:45:36,200
Speaker 1: Yes, shout out sleep Rose Bakery.

932
00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:41,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, I love it.

933
00:45:41,480 --> 00:45:43,680
Speaker 1: I feel like we've had some really good girls talk.

934
00:45:43,840 --> 00:45:47,280
Speaker 2: Yes. Now I'm ready to get spicy.

935
00:45:48,760 --> 00:45:50,560
Speaker 6: So do it anymore, y'all?

936
00:45:50,560 --> 00:45:52,920
Speaker 1: Good? Do you have you had enough to?

937
00:45:53,120 --> 00:45:55,560
Speaker 4: I think I have enough to get spicy.

938
00:45:55,800 --> 00:45:57,040
Speaker 3: She's going to get.

939
00:45:57,800 --> 00:46:04,040
Speaker 1: She woke up spicy.

940
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:08,200
Speaker 2: Yes. So we have genor Chanelle on the other line

941
00:46:08,239 --> 00:46:09,360
Speaker 2: tapped in with us.

942
00:46:09,440 --> 00:46:15,560
Speaker 1: Hey, beautiful ladies. They are going.

943
00:46:15,320 --> 00:46:18,840
Speaker 2: To ask us some questions and listen, this is a safe,

944
00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:23,840
Speaker 2: fun space, no filter. We're gonna have fun, okay, because listen,

945
00:46:24,760 --> 00:46:25,960
Speaker 2: we're girls at the end of the day.

946
00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:27,439
Speaker 1: Right, We're ready, all.

947
00:46:27,440 --> 00:46:32,240
Speaker 2: Right, Okay, So our good sister Krisia went viral.

948
00:46:33,560 --> 00:46:36,160
Speaker 1: We're saying she loves the gold in the shower.

949
00:46:39,480 --> 00:46:40,200
Speaker 3: Is that a yes?

950
00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:45,360
Speaker 1: Or is that a novice?

951
00:46:48,040 --> 00:46:54,200
Speaker 4: I may swing over to the other side as far

952
00:46:54,239 --> 00:46:56,120
Speaker 4: as white men, but I ain't swinging that far, and

953
00:46:56,400 --> 00:46:58,319
Speaker 4: I ain't gold and showering over here.

954
00:46:58,880 --> 00:47:02,920
Speaker 3: Swing over to one side, you know, the white side,

955
00:47:05,480 --> 00:47:07,879
Speaker 3: the white side, But you're not going that far.

956
00:47:08,480 --> 00:47:15,240
Speaker 6: That far I'm saying, is that someone.

957
00:47:15,920 --> 00:47:17,080
Speaker 1: Have you ever.

958
00:47:19,120 --> 00:47:21,160
Speaker 3: Unknowingly slept with the same man?

959
00:47:22,920 --> 00:47:23,320
Speaker 1: No?

960
00:47:23,320 --> 00:47:27,160
Speaker 4: No, you know what I feel like. My men who

961
00:47:27,200 --> 00:47:29,520
Speaker 4: I've ever been with have never had anybody before me.

962
00:47:30,640 --> 00:47:35,360
Speaker 3: They never know, no.

963
00:47:37,880 --> 00:47:38,000
Speaker 1: One.

964
00:47:40,560 --> 00:47:42,800
Speaker 3: What's that period life?

965
00:47:42,840 --> 00:47:46,960
Speaker 6: Even now I'm like that there with her on that

966
00:47:49,320 --> 00:47:51,000
Speaker 6: I mean, yes, I agree, you have to think that.

967
00:47:51,280 --> 00:47:54,440
Speaker 1: Yes, Nina, we love a delusional quality.

968
00:47:54,760 --> 00:47:56,560
Speaker 3: You know, I can't hear you, and that's on purpose.

969
00:47:57,000 --> 00:48:00,680
Speaker 4: Whatever you say, whatever you say, it ain't true.

970
00:48:06,600 --> 00:48:07,279
Speaker 1: Swallowing.

971
00:48:08,640 --> 00:48:12,400
Speaker 4: Yes, well no, my grandma said, if you don't swallow

972
00:48:12,440 --> 00:48:13,480
Speaker 4: somebody else, will.

973
00:48:16,040 --> 00:48:22,000
Speaker 5: I'm not swallowing if you have swallow someone else, swelling house.

974
00:48:22,800 --> 00:48:25,919
Speaker 2: But when it comes swallowing was like, because you got

975
00:48:25,920 --> 00:48:27,480
Speaker 2: a funny story about swallowing, do.

976
00:48:27,680 --> 00:48:30,680
Speaker 3: Have a funny story about swallowing? Now, geez on the step.

977
00:48:30,880 --> 00:48:32,680
Speaker 3: Put you over to the left real quick. Let me

978
00:48:32,719 --> 00:48:40,759
Speaker 3: just tell the people. He said, he's right here. I'm

979
00:48:40,800 --> 00:48:41,719
Speaker 3: coming as I am.

980
00:48:42,719 --> 00:48:43,120
Speaker 6: I know.

981
00:48:44,760 --> 00:48:47,080
Speaker 4: Well, I was sating this guy, and I tell y'all

982
00:48:47,160 --> 00:48:50,760
Speaker 4: that this was literally like, you know, I was from Virginita,

983
00:48:50,880 --> 00:48:54,640
Speaker 4: pretty older, so I was like twenty five, So I

984
00:48:54,640 --> 00:48:57,000
Speaker 4: would celibate for like two years after that or whatever.

985
00:48:57,160 --> 00:48:59,439
Speaker 3: So once I started having sex, I met this guy

986
00:48:59,800 --> 00:49:02,160
Speaker 3: and I'm talking that was the best dick I ever had.

987
00:49:03,640 --> 00:49:06,040
Speaker 4: Like it was just so good, Like it was like dick, like,

988
00:49:06,080 --> 00:49:10,040
Speaker 4: I don't know if you've had it already, are you right?

989
00:49:10,120 --> 00:49:11,799
Speaker 1: But I would love or.

990
00:49:14,040 --> 00:49:19,799
Speaker 3: Just do a nice raffle. Well, one time he was like,

991
00:49:20,160 --> 00:49:23,200
Speaker 3: you know, I was doing my little thing and I

992
00:49:23,280 --> 00:49:25,120
Speaker 3: came in my mouth. You know, my little thing, and

993
00:49:25,200 --> 00:49:25,440
Speaker 3: I do.

994
00:49:25,480 --> 00:49:26,680
Speaker 4: I ain't got to tell you about it, but you

995
00:49:26,680 --> 00:49:34,919
Speaker 4: know the thing, that thing, and so you know I did.

996
00:49:35,120 --> 00:49:38,280
Speaker 4: I did it well, okay, so it was in my mouth.

997
00:49:38,360 --> 00:49:40,480
Speaker 3: He said, spit it in my mouth.

998
00:49:40,640 --> 00:49:44,440
Speaker 5: I spit it in his mouth and then he spit

999
00:49:44,480 --> 00:49:49,000
Speaker 5: it back in my mouth and then he said, swallow it.

1000
00:49:49,960 --> 00:49:55,520
Speaker 3: Now. Mind you, he's watching me. I'm like, I just

1001
00:49:55,560 --> 00:49:58,520
Speaker 3: got don't get. Don't knock it till you tried.

1002
00:49:58,680 --> 00:49:59,960
Speaker 1: Now, Oh no, I'm not.

1003
00:50:05,280 --> 00:50:07,120
Speaker 3: It's just sitting in his back.

1004
00:50:07,160 --> 00:50:09,160
Speaker 4: And that's too many. Let me tell you sounds to

1005
00:50:09,800 --> 00:50:11,799
Speaker 4: Let me tell you some song. People made up a

1006
00:50:11,800 --> 00:50:12,440
Speaker 4: song and said what.

1007
00:50:12,480 --> 00:50:13,879
Speaker 1: A man want? A man want?

1008
00:50:13,880 --> 00:50:18,800
Speaker 3: A man want a good man. They weren't just singing

1009
00:50:18,840 --> 00:50:20,040
Speaker 3: that song for no reason.

1010
00:50:22,320 --> 00:50:32,200
Speaker 7: God said, oh tasting, okay, I want to girl.

1011
00:50:32,480 --> 00:50:34,520
Speaker 3: You did more to taste.

1012
00:50:38,360 --> 00:50:42,680
Speaker 7: Shut up, tasted it, wasted it.

1013
00:50:43,480 --> 00:50:50,680
Speaker 1: Do not forgot it, he said, s Jesus, okay, so

1014
00:50:50,719 --> 00:50:54,960
Speaker 1: we can all ages that we've swallowed. Great Banina has done.

1015
00:50:55,200 --> 00:50:55,759
Speaker 3: A little more.

1016
00:51:01,560 --> 00:51:04,920
Speaker 4: Oh my god, have you guys ever been with the

1017
00:51:04,960 --> 00:51:06,640
Speaker 4: guy and they asked you to pack him?

1018
00:51:07,760 --> 00:51:12,160
Speaker 3: What basically means ain't no sex?

1019
00:51:12,400 --> 00:51:14,200
Speaker 2: Like putting a dildough in the man's but.

1020
00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:18,920
Speaker 1: Everything would have stopped.

1021
00:51:18,960 --> 00:51:32,200
Speaker 3: I would have run, Okay, I didn't. I didn't.

1022
00:51:32,239 --> 00:51:33,000
Speaker 6: I didn't listen.

1023
00:51:33,080 --> 00:51:39,000
Speaker 5: Listen, I've got literally you've given hand right and I've

1024
00:51:39,040 --> 00:51:41,000
Speaker 5: never seen a man do this. But he's on his

1025
00:51:41,080 --> 00:51:46,080
Speaker 5: back and pulls his legs. He's like spread eagles.

1026
00:51:47,000 --> 00:51:47,879
Speaker 7: He wanted his as.

1027
00:51:51,040 --> 00:51:51,879
Speaker 3: He wants you to eat.

1028
00:51:55,160 --> 00:51:59,640
Speaker 2: I don't know. Tell us about the best and most

1029
00:51:59,640 --> 00:52:02,520
Speaker 2: amazing see sexual encounter that you've had that if you

1030
00:52:02,560 --> 00:52:04,040
Speaker 2: could relive.

1031
00:52:03,520 --> 00:52:05,000
Speaker 1: It again, you would.

1032
00:52:05,920 --> 00:52:10,200
Speaker 2: Oh, it's something about that, and it might be toxic,

1033
00:52:10,360 --> 00:52:13,520
Speaker 2: let me preface that. But it's something about like as

1034
00:52:13,520 --> 00:52:22,200
Speaker 2: an argument that good like the best mind goodness the best.

1035
00:52:22,600 --> 00:52:24,440
Speaker 2: And it's like you got a point of frood and

1036
00:52:24,480 --> 00:52:26,360
Speaker 2: I got a point of frood. It's like you.

1037
00:52:28,320 --> 00:52:31,120
Speaker 3: When you talked to it.

1038
00:52:31,560 --> 00:52:40,120
Speaker 1: I told you, yeah, yeah, yes, I had to say

1039
00:52:40,239 --> 00:52:41,439
Speaker 1: some good Yeah.

1040
00:52:41,719 --> 00:52:44,720
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, yeah, okay, sorry.

1041
00:52:45,400 --> 00:52:49,640
Speaker 1: Risky sex. Where's the riskiest place you've done it?

1042
00:52:49,719 --> 00:52:51,120
Speaker 3: On the top of a mountain.

1043
00:52:54,360 --> 00:52:56,359
Speaker 2: That it hurt? That didn't hurt.

1044
00:52:56,800 --> 00:52:59,120
Speaker 3: We had one of them thick like quot blankets.

1045
00:53:00,120 --> 00:53:11,799
Speaker 1: Was I wasn't looking for that. It was the bush yeah,

1046
00:53:11,840 --> 00:53:15,160
Speaker 1: I was ready. Okay, I like that. I like that.

1047
00:53:15,160 --> 00:53:15,720
Speaker 1: That's risky.

1048
00:53:15,760 --> 00:53:16,400
Speaker 2: That was exciting.

1049
00:53:16,520 --> 00:53:18,680
Speaker 6: Yes, it was asked what mountain it was.

1050
00:53:19,280 --> 00:53:32,880
Speaker 1: It was in George, So Georgia mount. I need to

1051
00:53:32,880 --> 00:53:33,720
Speaker 1: give you something good.

1052
00:53:34,920 --> 00:53:37,760
Speaker 6: The best sex I've ever had.

1053
00:53:38,480 --> 00:53:41,040
Speaker 3: The guy, Well, that was really good, but I will

1054
00:53:41,040 --> 00:53:42,040
Speaker 3: say my ex.

1055
00:53:42,040 --> 00:53:48,360
Speaker 4: Was really really really really really really was.

1056
00:53:51,760 --> 00:53:53,040
Speaker 3: The foot in the mouth.

1057
00:53:53,640 --> 00:53:57,480
Speaker 4: And you know, I will say though it was really

1058
00:53:57,520 --> 00:53:59,160
Speaker 4: good and also very safe.

1059
00:54:00,200 --> 00:54:01,840
Speaker 3: It's also very safe sex.

1060
00:54:02,280 --> 00:54:02,880
Speaker 2: That'stant.

1061
00:54:02,880 --> 00:54:10,160
Speaker 1: What was like, you know what, I'm confused.

1062
00:54:10,480 --> 00:54:11,839
Speaker 6: You can you can be, you can be.

1063
00:54:11,920 --> 00:54:13,960
Speaker 3: I felt Yes, I felt like I could be at

1064
00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:14,359
Speaker 3: my friend.

1065
00:54:14,600 --> 00:54:17,360
Speaker 1: That's good.

1066
00:54:15,600 --> 00:54:20,600
Speaker 4: Yes, you know, some guys they judge you by like

1067
00:54:20,719 --> 00:54:22,480
Speaker 4: what you know how to do, how you know how

1068
00:54:22,480 --> 00:54:25,040
Speaker 4: to do it or whatever. And I feel like I

1069
00:54:25,080 --> 00:54:27,400
Speaker 4: was so free because I felt like with him, like

1070
00:54:27,480 --> 00:54:30,000
Speaker 4: I knew that he was just for me, so we

1071
00:54:30,239 --> 00:54:31,560
Speaker 4: like did.

1072
00:54:31,480 --> 00:54:34,040
Speaker 1: All that beautiful you know before him, I.

1073
00:54:34,000 --> 00:54:36,920
Speaker 4: Didn't really like to, you know, such for real, But

1074
00:54:36,960 --> 00:54:39,240
Speaker 4: then I was like, but it's.

1075
00:54:39,080 --> 00:54:40,200
Speaker 6: Just for him.

1076
00:54:40,320 --> 00:54:45,200
Speaker 5: Teacher, teach me, teachange me my man, and teach me somethings.

1077
00:54:46,040 --> 00:54:46,680
Speaker 1: You like it?

1078
00:54:46,760 --> 00:54:58,120
Speaker 2: Okay, Yeah, that's good. I love it. All right, so

1079
00:54:58,160 --> 00:55:00,520
Speaker 2: we are going to get into when I parts of

1080
00:55:00,560 --> 00:55:00,879
Speaker 2: the show.

1081
00:55:00,960 --> 00:55:03,799
Speaker 1: It is called positive outcomes. All right.

1082
00:55:04,719 --> 00:55:10,600
Speaker 2: This is from a young lady named Ebony, and it says, Hi, Crystal,

1083
00:55:10,719 --> 00:55:12,759
Speaker 2: my name is Ebany, and I love your new podcast.

1084
00:55:13,160 --> 00:55:14,040
Speaker 1: Thanks Ebany.

1085
00:55:15,080 --> 00:55:17,160
Speaker 2: I was afraid for a long time to have female

1086
00:55:17,200 --> 00:55:20,239
Speaker 2: friends because every friendship I had with women would end

1087
00:55:20,280 --> 00:55:22,759
Speaker 2: up hurting me in some kind of way. Honestly, I

1088
00:55:22,800 --> 00:55:24,440
Speaker 2: got tired of being the only one to reach out

1089
00:55:24,480 --> 00:55:25,799
Speaker 2: every time OOF.

1090
00:55:27,000 --> 00:55:27,399
Speaker 1: Been there.

1091
00:55:28,200 --> 00:55:30,600
Speaker 2: It says, if I didn't send a text or call,

1092
00:55:30,600 --> 00:55:32,879
Speaker 2: I wouldn't hear from them at all. But my heart

1093
00:55:32,880 --> 00:55:35,200
Speaker 2: wouldn't dare let me leave them hanging if they needed

1094
00:55:35,480 --> 00:55:39,240
Speaker 2: something or words of advice or encouragement. I love giving

1095
00:55:39,280 --> 00:55:41,239
Speaker 2: advice to people are making them feel better, but I

1096
00:55:41,280 --> 00:55:42,320
Speaker 2: wish I could have.

1097
00:55:42,560 --> 00:55:44,040
Speaker 1: Some people who would do the same for me.

1098
00:55:44,600 --> 00:55:46,920
Speaker 2: I always take it to heart because it feels like

1099
00:55:46,960 --> 00:55:49,239
Speaker 2: I'm the only one being a genuine friend to them.

1100
00:55:50,040 --> 00:55:52,640
Speaker 2: I don't tell certain things to any and everyone. I

1101
00:55:52,640 --> 00:55:54,880
Speaker 2: grew up with a narrative to keep certain things to myself,

1102
00:55:54,920 --> 00:55:57,280
Speaker 2: and now at the age of twenty two, it hasn't changed.

1103
00:55:58,040 --> 00:55:59,520
Speaker 1: I don't like to hurt people's feelings.

1104
00:55:59,520 --> 00:56:02,200
Speaker 2: So I would you usually let something slide, but when

1105
00:56:02,239 --> 00:56:04,239
Speaker 2: I let my guard down and actually let them in,

1106
00:56:04,600 --> 00:56:07,440
Speaker 2: it backfires. I'm a strong friend. I have no problem

1107
00:56:07,480 --> 00:56:09,640
Speaker 2: being a stronger friend, but this should.

1108
00:56:09,400 --> 00:56:10,560
Speaker 1: Be a two way street.

1109
00:56:11,080 --> 00:56:13,759
Speaker 2: Sis, do you have any advice on what I can

1110
00:56:13,800 --> 00:56:15,800
Speaker 2: do to stop this cycle?

1111
00:56:16,840 --> 00:56:18,840
Speaker 1: Ebony? Oh my goodness.

1112
00:56:19,080 --> 00:56:23,000
Speaker 2: So it sounds like this is something we touched on

1113
00:56:23,080 --> 00:56:25,879
Speaker 2: about being the one who pours into people, but not

1114
00:56:25,880 --> 00:56:28,799
Speaker 2: feeling poured into by the people that you're given too,

1115
00:56:28,800 --> 00:56:33,799
Speaker 2: so it's not reciprocated. What I've learned today, I was

1116
00:56:33,800 --> 00:56:36,600
Speaker 2: today years old when I found this perspective thanks to Donora.

1117
00:56:37,160 --> 00:56:40,040
Speaker 2: You have to understand your assignment on people's life and

1118
00:56:40,080 --> 00:56:44,120
Speaker 2: their assignment in yours. So everything that you give is

1119
00:56:44,280 --> 00:56:46,560
Speaker 2: always going to be reciprocated from that person that you

1120
00:56:46,640 --> 00:56:51,800
Speaker 2: give to, and that's okay, all right. Also, I would

1121
00:56:51,800 --> 00:56:54,600
Speaker 2: say express to your friends how you feel, you know,

1122
00:56:54,680 --> 00:56:57,640
Speaker 2: be honest. We talked about communication today, how important it

1123
00:56:57,680 --> 00:57:00,120
Speaker 2: is to talk to your sisters about how you feel

1124
00:57:00,239 --> 00:57:02,279
Speaker 2: and say hey, when you do this, I've noticed that

1125
00:57:02,560 --> 00:57:05,279
Speaker 2: I'm their only reaching out, like what's going on? Like,

1126
00:57:05,719 --> 00:57:07,319
Speaker 2: sometimes people have a lot going on.

1127
00:57:07,400 --> 00:57:08,560
Speaker 1: It may not even be personal.

1128
00:57:08,920 --> 00:57:12,280
Speaker 2: That's something I'll also learned that it's not always personal.

1129
00:57:12,960 --> 00:57:14,640
Speaker 2: It could be that they're dealing with a lot of

1130
00:57:14,640 --> 00:57:16,720
Speaker 2: things right now and they may not be open with

1131
00:57:16,760 --> 00:57:18,680
Speaker 2: you about it. So it could be an issue that

1132
00:57:18,720 --> 00:57:21,960
Speaker 2: could be easily solved if you just take the time

1133
00:57:22,040 --> 00:57:24,800
Speaker 2: to communicate with them about what's going on. Do you

1134
00:57:24,840 --> 00:57:26,160
Speaker 2: guys have any advice for Ebany?

1135
00:57:26,720 --> 00:57:29,760
Speaker 4: I would think also, like, you're twenty two. I know

1136
00:57:29,800 --> 00:57:33,080
Speaker 4: that doesn't sound young, but it's very young and your

1137
00:57:33,120 --> 00:57:35,960
Speaker 4: friends are still figuring their way out.

1138
00:57:36,200 --> 00:57:39,880
Speaker 3: That's a tough age. No're probably just graduating from school.

1139
00:57:40,040 --> 00:57:43,800
Speaker 4: So my encouragement would be one to surround yourself and

1140
00:57:43,840 --> 00:57:47,200
Speaker 4: maybe with older people, to get into some fellowships with

1141
00:57:47,240 --> 00:57:51,040
Speaker 4: people that you admire, so maybe you can cultivate different friendships.

1142
00:57:52,240 --> 00:57:54,520
Speaker 4: I would give the same grace to your friends that

1143
00:57:54,600 --> 00:57:58,200
Speaker 4: you would like to receive. That's really important. And also

1144
00:57:58,480 --> 00:58:01,880
Speaker 4: I would look at it in a different light because

1145
00:58:01,880 --> 00:58:03,400
Speaker 4: a lot of times we look at it like what

1146
00:58:03,480 --> 00:58:04,600
Speaker 4: is this person not doing?

1147
00:58:04,680 --> 00:58:06,800
Speaker 3: I can think of a million things that my friends

1148
00:58:06,800 --> 00:58:07,480
Speaker 3: have not done.

1149
00:58:07,800 --> 00:58:10,280
Speaker 4: But when I started looking at what they do, do

1150
00:58:11,080 --> 00:58:13,080
Speaker 4: you know I have a friend like Destiny who does

1151
00:58:13,080 --> 00:58:13,439
Speaker 4: our hair.

1152
00:58:13,840 --> 00:58:15,440
Speaker 3: She's not gonna tell you.

1153
00:58:15,640 --> 00:58:18,520
Speaker 4: What's going on, how it's going on, what's going on

1154
00:58:19,000 --> 00:58:19,800
Speaker 4: in her life.

1155
00:58:20,080 --> 00:58:23,000
Speaker 3: But if you talk to her, then she will open

1156
00:58:23,080 --> 00:58:27,240
Speaker 3: up to you and whatever. So sometimes it's about humbling

1157
00:58:27,280 --> 00:58:29,000
Speaker 3: yourself to get to know your friends and.

1158
00:58:28,960 --> 00:58:32,200
Speaker 4: Seeing how I'm showing up instead of expecting it to

1159
00:58:32,240 --> 00:58:35,280
Speaker 4: be all about me. Perhaps in this moment, you're supposed

1160
00:58:35,280 --> 00:58:37,960
Speaker 4: to be sewing to this person because you're gonna get

1161
00:58:37,960 --> 00:58:39,880
Speaker 4: it back. If it's not from them in this moment,

1162
00:58:40,160 --> 00:58:41,440
Speaker 4: then it'll be for somebody else.

1163
00:58:42,240 --> 00:58:44,160
Speaker 6: I would say, continue to focus on yourself.

1164
00:58:44,360 --> 00:58:44,800
Speaker 2: Two.

1165
00:58:45,800 --> 00:58:48,880
Speaker 6: You're still developing what you want. You're so figuring out life.

1166
00:58:49,240 --> 00:58:53,680
Speaker 5: Continue focusing on you ebany, what everny wants, what any means,

1167
00:58:53,760 --> 00:58:56,640
Speaker 5: and God will position everything to flow into your life

1168
00:58:56,760 --> 00:58:59,840
Speaker 5: as it's supposed to. So look at this as a season.

1169
00:59:00,000 --> 00:59:02,280
Speaker 5: Figure what you're supposed to learn from this season, and

1170
00:59:02,320 --> 00:59:03,120
Speaker 5: just keep on going.

1171
00:59:03,280 --> 00:59:05,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's real. I like that.

1172
00:59:06,560 --> 00:59:11,080
Speaker 7: I feel like you're still evolving into the woman. Figure

1173
00:59:11,080 --> 00:59:12,480
Speaker 7: out who you are as a woman.

1174
00:59:12,960 --> 00:59:13,680
Speaker 1: What are your.

1175
00:59:13,720 --> 00:59:16,200
Speaker 2: Next steps you go through life?

1176
00:59:17,680 --> 00:59:21,760
Speaker 7: Singleness is okay, Like you can ex all your friends

1177
00:59:21,760 --> 00:59:24,440
Speaker 7: out for a minute and just figure yourself out and

1178
00:59:24,720 --> 00:59:28,920
Speaker 7: journey in journal while you're on your journey to help

1179
00:59:28,960 --> 00:59:31,600
Speaker 7: you get to where you want in life and be

1180
00:59:31,720 --> 00:59:33,760
Speaker 7: the woman you want to be. And then once you

1181
00:59:33,800 --> 00:59:36,480
Speaker 7: show up as the woman you want to be, not

1182
00:59:36,560 --> 00:59:39,600
Speaker 7: saying that you're not, but you're still twenty two in

1183
00:59:39,840 --> 00:59:42,360
Speaker 7: evolving into the woman that you'll be in life as

1184
00:59:42,400 --> 00:59:46,600
Speaker 7: you get older, and then you'll see people that are

1185
00:59:46,600 --> 00:59:49,800
Speaker 7: supposed to be around you will gravitate to the woman

1186
00:59:49,840 --> 00:59:51,560
Speaker 7: that you are supposed to be in life.

1187
00:59:51,680 --> 00:59:55,120
Speaker 2: I'm so good, yeah, Ebony, I hope you hear us.

1188
00:59:55,320 --> 00:59:57,240
Speaker 1: I hope that you know that we feel you.

1189
00:59:57,320 --> 01:00:00,400
Speaker 2: We've all been there, we've all been there before. And

1190
01:00:00,440 --> 01:00:01,920
Speaker 2: I hope you take these words of advice and I

1191
01:00:01,960 --> 01:00:03,640
Speaker 2: hope that it helps you. And thank you so much

1192
01:00:03,640 --> 01:00:10,760
Speaker 2: for tuning in. All right, ladies. So I do a

1193
01:00:10,800 --> 01:00:14,280
Speaker 2: thing called what I'm going through and what I'm growing through.

1194
01:00:14,840 --> 01:00:17,320
Speaker 2: So this could be anything that you're going through in

1195
01:00:17,360 --> 01:00:19,640
Speaker 2: life and how you're growing through it. So I'll start

1196
01:00:20,680 --> 01:00:23,919
Speaker 2: and I'll say that right now, I am going through

1197
01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:27,080
Speaker 2: a purging season where I feel like God is removing

1198
01:00:27,080 --> 01:00:30,240
Speaker 2: people from my life. He's showing me who's here for

1199
01:00:30,280 --> 01:00:33,720
Speaker 2: the right reasons. He's even not even with people, just

1200
01:00:33,760 --> 01:00:36,360
Speaker 2: people He's also doing an emotional purge in my life

1201
01:00:36,600 --> 01:00:40,280
Speaker 2: where I'm learning more about Crystal and understanding things that

1202
01:00:40,320 --> 01:00:41,720
Speaker 2: I need to let go of because a lot of

1203
01:00:41,720 --> 01:00:43,120
Speaker 2: times we look around.

1204
01:00:42,960 --> 01:00:44,800
Speaker 1: And be like, okay, I need you with this person, this.

1205
01:00:44,640 --> 01:00:47,240
Speaker 2: Is this, but a lot there's some things within self

1206
01:00:47,280 --> 01:00:49,200
Speaker 2: that we need to get rid of. So I'm going

1207
01:00:49,240 --> 01:00:53,240
Speaker 2: through a purging season in those different areas, and what

1208
01:00:53,280 --> 01:00:57,800
Speaker 2: I'm growing through, I'm growing through learning that there is

1209
01:00:57,920 --> 01:01:01,840
Speaker 2: a season for everything you know and you have to

1210
01:01:01,920 --> 01:01:04,800
Speaker 2: go through it. You know, it doesn't matter, nobody's exempt

1211
01:01:04,880 --> 01:01:07,840
Speaker 2: from it. So I am learning to sit in this moment.

1212
01:01:08,000 --> 01:01:12,160
Speaker 2: It's lonely. Sometimes sometimes I don't like what I see

1213
01:01:12,200 --> 01:01:14,880
Speaker 2: in the mirror. So just having these moments to really

1214
01:01:14,920 --> 01:01:18,320
Speaker 2: reflect is what I'm going through and what I'm growing through,

1215
01:01:19,320 --> 01:01:19,800
Speaker 2: that's good.

1216
01:01:21,480 --> 01:01:25,840
Speaker 7: I want to go next, I would say right now,

1217
01:01:25,880 --> 01:01:31,640
Speaker 7: what I'm going through is setting boundaries for certain people

1218
01:01:31,680 --> 01:01:37,280
Speaker 7: in my family, you know, just expectations of me and

1219
01:01:37,320 --> 01:01:40,000
Speaker 7: who I am and what I contribute, not even just

1220
01:01:40,240 --> 01:01:44,360
Speaker 7: from a financial just even emotionally, what I can contribute, mentally,

1221
01:01:44,360 --> 01:01:48,920
Speaker 7: what I can contribute. So just at a space in

1222
01:01:49,000 --> 01:01:53,400
Speaker 7: life where I'm going through setting the boundaries for certain

1223
01:01:53,440 --> 01:01:58,360
Speaker 7: people in my family, and you know, this is where

1224
01:01:58,360 --> 01:02:05,680
Speaker 7: it stops. And what I'm growing through is that when

1225
01:02:05,680 --> 01:02:08,400
Speaker 7: you do that, there's another level of respect that you

1226
01:02:09,200 --> 01:02:12,640
Speaker 7: command from your you know, the people in your life

1227
01:02:12,760 --> 01:02:15,880
Speaker 7: or your family, because sometimes I feel like me as

1228
01:02:15,920 --> 01:02:18,480
Speaker 7: an adult, they still see me as the young way

1229
01:02:18,880 --> 01:02:24,320
Speaker 7: and not as the adult yonda And so that's the

1230
01:02:24,760 --> 01:02:26,040
Speaker 7: season that I'm in right now.

1231
01:02:26,200 --> 01:02:28,600
Speaker 2: That's good. That's really good. That's good.

1232
01:02:30,320 --> 01:02:32,480
Speaker 4: I feel like what I'm going through is a season

1233
01:02:32,520 --> 01:02:34,320
Speaker 4: where God is like, either you're gonna trust me or

1234
01:02:34,320 --> 01:02:34,640
Speaker 4: you're not.

1235
01:02:37,240 --> 01:02:39,920
Speaker 3: Either you're gonna believe what I said or you're not.

1236
01:02:40,320 --> 01:02:43,600
Speaker 4: And with the or you're not, I'm gonna make a

1237
01:02:43,600 --> 01:02:48,080
Speaker 4: believer out of you. There's no you're not really And

1238
01:02:48,160 --> 01:02:51,600
Speaker 4: so that is like of figuring out a pivot of

1239
01:02:52,080 --> 01:02:55,480
Speaker 4: you know, God doesn't always give you the next step,

1240
01:02:55,520 --> 01:02:56,960
Speaker 4: but he says, just trust.

1241
01:02:56,720 --> 01:02:57,600
Speaker 2: Me on that.

1242
01:02:59,000 --> 01:03:18,120
Speaker 3: What I'm growing through is recognizing that I have.

1243
01:03:20,680 --> 01:03:24,160
Speaker 4: Done what He has asked me to do up until

1244
01:03:24,200 --> 01:03:26,640
Speaker 4: this season, and that He has been with me every

1245
01:03:26,680 --> 01:03:29,080
Speaker 4: step of the way because I haven't made a mistake

1246
01:03:29,080 --> 01:03:31,800
Speaker 4: in letting people go that I haven't made a mistake

1247
01:03:32,040 --> 01:03:35,320
Speaker 4: in moving across the country, that there were no mistakes

1248
01:03:35,400 --> 01:03:39,600
Speaker 4: that were made, but in real plain view that everything

1249
01:03:39,640 --> 01:03:43,400
Speaker 4: that I speak that God has done, even if it doesn't.

1250
01:03:43,120 --> 01:03:44,360
Speaker 3: Look like what I thought it was going.

1251
01:03:44,480 --> 01:03:49,320
Speaker 2: Wow, that's okay.

1252
01:03:49,480 --> 01:03:53,200
Speaker 5: I'm going through a fight in the justice system in

1253
01:03:53,280 --> 01:03:56,040
Speaker 5: hopes that I can save another woman's life and they

1254
01:03:56,040 --> 01:03:58,720
Speaker 5: don't have to experience what I've experienced as it relates

1255
01:03:58,720 --> 01:04:04,520
Speaker 5: to domestic violence. I'm growing through receiving all of my

1256
01:04:04,680 --> 01:04:08,880
Speaker 5: prayers and my personal life from God. So though it's

1257
01:04:08,960 --> 01:04:11,480
Speaker 5: like it seems, oh, you got it, it's easy. No,

1258
01:04:11,600 --> 01:04:15,520
Speaker 5: it takes work, and it takes you still praying and

1259
01:04:15,560 --> 01:04:17,600
Speaker 5: thanking God for what you have and figuring out a

1260
01:04:17,640 --> 01:04:21,120
Speaker 5: way to keep it, but also not losing myself and

1261
01:04:21,160 --> 01:04:24,680
Speaker 5: not losing my other relationships because I pray long and hard.

1262
01:04:24,680 --> 01:04:27,000
Speaker 5: I've been through enough, and I'm just like, oh, the

1263
01:04:27,080 --> 01:04:29,280
Speaker 5: light of the end of the tunnel is here. My God,

1264
01:04:29,320 --> 01:04:32,439
Speaker 5: it's here. But now it's okay, it's here, So don't

1265
01:04:32,440 --> 01:04:36,240
Speaker 5: forget where it came from, and continue to be obedient

1266
01:04:36,960 --> 01:04:41,040
Speaker 5: and continue to be disciplined, and everything will be okay.

1267
01:04:41,360 --> 01:04:42,760
Speaker 2: You will, Yeah, it will.

1268
01:04:43,520 --> 01:04:44,080
Speaker 4: I love that.

1269
01:04:44,280 --> 01:04:49,840
Speaker 2: I love that. So one of my favorite parts of

1270
01:04:49,840 --> 01:04:53,600
Speaker 2: the show is where we use the phrase keep it blank, sweetie,

1271
01:04:54,000 --> 01:04:55,960
Speaker 2: and we fill it in with whatever we want to

1272
01:04:56,040 --> 01:04:59,480
Speaker 2: pertaining to what we talked about today. So I'll start

1273
01:04:59,480 --> 01:05:00,920
Speaker 2: it off by saying.

1274
01:05:02,760 --> 01:05:10,200
Speaker 1: Keep it hm hmmm, keep it a safe space, sweetie.

1275
01:05:10,960 --> 01:05:13,040
Speaker 2: When it comes to my girls. Do I think that's

1276
01:05:13,120 --> 01:05:16,320
Speaker 2: so important, making sure that your friends feel safe when

1277
01:05:16,320 --> 01:05:18,120
Speaker 2: they come around you, that you don't have to second

1278
01:05:18,160 --> 01:05:19,760
Speaker 2: guess anything that you know.

1279
01:05:19,800 --> 01:05:20,360
Speaker 1: When I'm with.

1280
01:05:20,400 --> 01:05:23,600
Speaker 2: These people were good. Yeah, you know, so I would say,

1281
01:05:23,760 --> 01:05:27,800
Speaker 2: keep it safe, keep it a safe space, sweetie, keep

1282
01:05:27,840 --> 01:05:28,400
Speaker 2: it real.

1283
01:05:28,960 --> 01:05:36,040
Speaker 4: Love real, Yes, keep it.

1284
01:05:39,360 --> 01:05:40,520
Speaker 3: Authentic, sweetie.

1285
01:05:40,520 --> 01:05:41,000
Speaker 1: That's good.

1286
01:05:41,120 --> 01:05:48,240
Speaker 3: You keep it authentic, honey. For yourself, that's right, yourself.

1287
01:05:48,840 --> 01:05:51,800
Speaker 5: But keep it kind, sweet keep it at all times

1288
01:05:52,240 --> 01:05:53,080
Speaker 5: killing what kindness.

1289
01:05:53,080 --> 01:05:54,800
Speaker 6: I don't care what they need. Be kind?

1290
01:05:54,920 --> 01:05:56,320
Speaker 3: I got to always be kind.

1291
01:05:56,520 --> 01:05:59,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, always mean it.

1292
01:05:59,600 --> 01:06:06,200
Speaker 3: Kind what I said.

1293
01:06:06,600 --> 01:06:07,760
Speaker 6: But you'll never regret it.

1294
01:06:07,880 --> 01:06:10,520
Speaker 5: Yeah, I have never regretted being kind, even in the

1295
01:06:10,520 --> 01:06:11,400
Speaker 5: worst of situation.

1296
01:06:11,680 --> 01:06:12,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I.

1297
01:06:12,760 --> 01:06:14,760
Speaker 6: Gotta live with that. Somebody else has to live with that,

1298
01:06:14,800 --> 01:06:15,720
Speaker 6: but me, I agree.

1299
01:06:17,000 --> 01:06:23,680
Speaker 2: Oh lady, Thank you guys so much for coming to

1300
01:06:23,680 --> 01:06:24,160
Speaker 2: sit on.

1301
01:06:24,080 --> 01:06:24,840
Speaker 1: The couch with me.

1302
01:06:24,920 --> 01:06:28,280
Speaker 3: Thank you for having us, for creating this space.

1303
01:06:28,680 --> 01:06:30,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, thank I had so much fun.

1304
01:06:30,520 --> 01:06:33,240
Speaker 2: I love you guys too. Yes, I had so much

1305
01:06:33,280 --> 01:06:36,040
Speaker 2: fun with you guys. I hope you guys enjoyed this

1306
01:06:36,120 --> 01:06:38,560
Speaker 2: episode just as much as I did, just as much

1307
01:06:38,560 --> 01:06:40,600
Speaker 2: as we did. Yes, you know, I probably should put

1308
01:06:40,600 --> 01:06:42,680
Speaker 2: it this lame and go ahead and pour you someone.

1309
01:06:44,640 --> 01:06:46,680
Speaker 1: Before you watch it so you can really be in

1310
01:06:46,720 --> 01:06:50,360
Speaker 1: the spirit with us. But no, we had a really

1311
01:06:50,400 --> 01:06:50,840
Speaker 1: good time.

1312
01:06:50,920 --> 01:06:54,120
Speaker 2: I hope that you guys leave this podcast with just

1313
01:06:54,200 --> 01:06:56,760
Speaker 2: a better understanding of who you are, a better understanding

1314
01:06:56,760 --> 01:07:00,640
Speaker 2: of sisterhood, friendships and bonds that can last reason the

1315
01:07:00,760 --> 01:07:02,200
Speaker 2: season or a lifetime.

1316
01:07:02,600 --> 01:07:04,520
Speaker 1: Okay, if you guys want to write.

1317
01:07:04,320 --> 01:07:07,480
Speaker 2: Into our Keep It Positive Sweety listener letter, make sure

1318
01:07:07,480 --> 01:07:10,800
Speaker 2: you write into keep a Positive Sweetie at gmail dot com.

1319
01:07:10,880 --> 01:07:12,280
Speaker 1: I would love to hear from you guys.

1320
01:07:12,680 --> 01:07:14,760
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, the stories that you are sharing with me,

1321
01:07:15,720 --> 01:07:18,440
Speaker 2: they're coming in. I just appreciate you guys for tapping

1322
01:07:18,480 --> 01:07:20,920
Speaker 2: in with us. You can also follow me on all

1323
01:07:20,960 --> 01:07:24,240
Speaker 2: platforms at Love Crystal Renee that's l u V c

1324
01:07:24,480 --> 01:07:27,040
Speaker 2: R Y S T A l R E n e

1325
01:07:27,040 --> 01:07:30,200
Speaker 2: E and on all platforms for Keep It Positive Sweetie.

1326
01:07:30,240 --> 01:07:33,360
Speaker 2: And that is with an I E. All right, as

1327
01:07:33,360 --> 01:07:36,400
Speaker 2: I said before, our hair wisdom, but our dear friend Destiny.

1328
01:07:36,840 --> 01:07:39,600
Speaker 2: You can find her on Instagram it studs by Destiny

1329
01:07:40,160 --> 01:07:42,760
Speaker 2: and tap in with her because clearly she knows that

1330
01:07:43,840 --> 01:07:47,600
Speaker 2: you and ladies, I'm gonna tell them where you guys

1331
01:07:47,640 --> 01:07:48,920
Speaker 2: can be found on Instagram.

1332
01:07:49,000 --> 01:07:52,880
Speaker 4: I can be found on all platforms at Nina Simon right,

1333
01:07:54,280 --> 01:07:57,520
Speaker 4: I can be found only one.

1334
01:08:00,320 --> 01:08:01,840
Speaker 1: Yes and spell it for him because everybody.

1335
01:08:02,080 --> 01:08:05,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, y R A I y O n.

1336
01:08:06,000 --> 01:08:07,280
Speaker 2: D A Y.

1337
01:08:07,800 --> 01:08:10,960
Speaker 5: I can be found on Instagram at at love r

1338
01:08:11,040 --> 01:08:13,600
Speaker 5: E l O v E A r I, Underscore two

1339
01:08:13,600 --> 01:08:16,640
Speaker 5: one one two and Sweet mon Rose Bakery if you

1340
01:08:16,640 --> 01:08:18,640
Speaker 5: need some cakes, cake pops and cupcakes.

1341
01:08:19,120 --> 01:08:21,960
Speaker 2: That's right, Okay, thank you guys so much, tap in

1342
01:08:22,000 --> 01:08:22,800
Speaker 2: with all of us.

1343
01:08:23,080 --> 01:08:23,720
Speaker 1: We would love to.

1344
01:08:23,680 --> 01:08:26,360
Speaker 2: Hear from you and show you guys love back. Listen,

1345
01:08:27,040 --> 01:08:29,160
Speaker 2: you guys know what to do in the meantime, Can

1346
01:08:29,280 --> 01:08:35,240
Speaker 2: y'all say it with me? Yes, keep your pop, Love

1347
01:08:35,280 --> 01:08:36,200
Speaker 2: you guys so much.

1348
01:08:36,320 --> 01:08:47,720
Speaker 1: Have a good way