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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls podcasts, where we

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Speaker 1: focus on all things mental health, personal development, and all

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Speaker 1: the small decisions we can make to become the best

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Speaker 1: possible versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr Joy Harden Bradford,

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Speaker 1: a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. To find more information

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Speaker 1: and to get resources, visit the website at Therapy for

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Speaker 1: Black Girls dot com. And while I hope you love

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Speaker 1: listening to and learning from the podcast, it is not

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Speaker 1: meant to be a substitute for a relationship with a

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Speaker 1: licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, welcome to session six

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Speaker 1: of the Therapy for Black Girls podcast. I hope that

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Speaker 1: you're doing well and they're starting off me strong. For

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Speaker 1: everybody who's looking at graduating in a couple of weeks,

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Speaker 1: I hope that you're getting really excited. Maybe feeling a

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Speaker 1: little stressed, but I'm sure excited, not all the same.

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Speaker 1: So today we will start our celebration of Mental Health

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Speaker 1: Awareness Month. Um So, every year in May we celebrate

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Speaker 1: Mental Health Awareness Month. And I want to give a

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Speaker 1: huge shout out to one of our TBG listeners, Brandy

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Speaker 1: um So. She had a great idea of talking about

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Speaker 1: relationships UM. And so that's what we're gonna do for

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Speaker 1: the month of me. We're gonna talk about a variety

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Speaker 1: of different relationships. So today we are going to start

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Speaker 1: with friendships. So today in the no copay needed section,

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Speaker 1: I want to talk about a couple of different things.

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Speaker 1: So I want to spend some time talking about an

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Speaker 1: interesting article that came out in Psychology Today, UM earlier

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Speaker 1: in March. And then I want to talk about where

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Speaker 1: we can find friends. So I often get the um

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Speaker 1: that come plaint or the difficulty that it's hard to

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Speaker 1: find friends kind of once you're out of college and

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Speaker 1: not related to an education system somehow, and that becomes

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Speaker 1: more difficult for people. And then I also want to

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Speaker 1: talk about how to be a good friend and how

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Speaker 1: to know when it's time for a friendship to end.

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Speaker 1: So UM starting with the article from Psychology Today. So

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Speaker 1: the article and again all of this will be included

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Speaker 1: in the show notes. You can go to therapy from

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Speaker 1: black Girls dot Com Session six UM. So the article

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Speaker 1: is called eleven Surprising things good friendships do for you.

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Speaker 1: The key word here is good, but again we'll talk

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Speaker 1: about that a little later. So eleven things UM Lowered

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Speaker 1: blood pressure increased pain threshold, better immune system, a lowered

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Speaker 1: risk for heart disease and stroke, improved outcomes for certain cancers,

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Speaker 1: increased overall longevity, increased creativity, imp of professional opportunities, reduce

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Speaker 1: cognitive decline, improved prognosis after trauma, and a reduced risk

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Speaker 1: for depression. So you can read more about all of

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Speaker 1: those things. But if you listen to that list, I mean,

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Speaker 1: that's definitely no, not a bad areas of improvement to have.

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Speaker 1: So when you think about good friendships and how they

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Speaker 1: can help with all of those issues, we really want

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Speaker 1: to have good friends in our lives. So, like I

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Speaker 1: mentioned before, UM I often hear the complaint that it's

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Speaker 1: really hard to find friends, and maybe after you are

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Speaker 1: out of UM undergrad, maybe even out of grad school.

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Speaker 1: So I want to give you some ideas about UM

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Speaker 1: some some places and things you can do to maybe

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Speaker 1: find friends. And these will just be UM, you know,

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Speaker 1: initial introduction, so you know you won't necessarily find your

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Speaker 1: new best friend in any of these places, although you

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Speaker 1: definitely can. We're talking about where can you find like

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Speaker 1: minded people, because that's really the foundation of a good

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Speaker 1: friendship is somebody who is like minded, not necessarily um

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Speaker 1: completely like you or will agree with you on everything.

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Speaker 1: But somebody who you know kind of at that core,

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Speaker 1: at their core, UM is somebody who you can connect with.

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Speaker 1: So these are some ideas about places you can find,

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Speaker 1: um some people who could potitially become good friends for you.

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Speaker 1: UM So meet up dot com. Um So, if you're

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Speaker 1: not ever going to meetup dot com, um, it's uh.

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't necessarily say a social networking, social media kind

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Speaker 1: of site, but it definitely is a place where people

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Speaker 1: can list and open groups for a variety of different things.

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Speaker 1: UM So, if you're interested in learning how to do

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Speaker 1: computer coding, or if you're interested in photography, or if

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Speaker 1: you're interested in um like Mommy and Me play play

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Speaker 1: date groups, UM. Interested in a book club, UM, interested

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Speaker 1: in trying out new restaurant US in your town's meetup

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Speaker 1: dot com can definitely be a good resource for you.

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Speaker 1: So you just go on there and type in the

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Speaker 1: closest city to you or a city that you're interested

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Speaker 1: in exploring, and you see what groups are available, and

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Speaker 1: you then join and it will give you information about

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Speaker 1: meetups that will be happening soon related to that area.

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Speaker 1: So I definitely encourage you to check that out if

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Speaker 1: you haven't. Another one is Facebook groups, So there are

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Speaker 1: Facebook groups for just about anything, UM, anything and everything.

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Speaker 1: So if you're interested in starting a business and it's

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Speaker 1: very similar to meet up in UM in some ways

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Speaker 1: that stuff that Facebook groups don't have the built in

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Speaker 1: kind of Okay, we're definitely going to meet up to

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Speaker 1: do this on a certain day and time. Facebook groups

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Speaker 1: tend to be more discussion, but you can definitely, you know,

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Speaker 1: take those discussions offline if you're interested UM. So if

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Speaker 1: you do a search for areas that you're interested in

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Speaker 1: on Facebook, you will likely find some groups that would

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Speaker 1: be of interest to you. UM. Church groups so if

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Speaker 1: you are a part of any kind of church or

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Speaker 1: faith community, then typically there will be some either a

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Speaker 1: small discussion groups associated or UM singles, kinds of events

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Speaker 1: or couples kinds of events, UM different interest groups as

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Speaker 1: a part of the larger faith community. So I definitely

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Speaker 1: would encourage you to check those out. Also, any volunteer

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Speaker 1: or community organizations, so things like the Junior League or UM,

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Speaker 1: the National Urban League, different kinds of community and civic

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Speaker 1: organizations can be opportunities for you to get involved UM

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Speaker 1: and you know, kind of give back to your community

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Speaker 1: and do great things in your community, but also you

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Speaker 1: meet people who are also interested in those things, and

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Speaker 1: then you tend to kind of connect around those issues.

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Speaker 1: Another good way I think, UM you can meet people

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Speaker 1: who are similar to you or maybe like minded, is

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Speaker 1: through Twitter chats. So if you're if you're not active

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Speaker 1: on Twitter, then I definitely would encourage you to, you know,

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Speaker 1: open up an account and see what's going on, because

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Speaker 1: I definitely have found some very good connections and made

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Speaker 1: some friends on Twitter UM that have been very meaningful

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Speaker 1: to me. And so some of the popular Twitter chest

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Speaker 1: that I've seen that may be of interest to you. UM.

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Speaker 1: There's one called side of Sister, and these will again

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Speaker 1: I'll be included in the set in the show notes

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Speaker 1: UM Side of Sista, and this is for Black women

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Speaker 1: in higher education UM kind of like a support and

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Speaker 1: encouraging each other to talk about the issues that affect

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Speaker 1: affect Black women in academia. UM. There's another one called

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Speaker 1: her Movement UM for people who are interested in kind

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Speaker 1: of entrepreneurial kinds of things. And then there's another pretty

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Speaker 1: popular one called Black Creative, so people who have a

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Speaker 1: creative type business or interested in a creative business. UM

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Speaker 1: get together once a month to talk about different issues

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Speaker 1: that impact black creatives. So I have found those UM

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Speaker 1: chats to be really interesting and have met some really

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Speaker 1: cool people through some of those chats, so I would

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Speaker 1: encourage you to again check those out. UM. You can

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Speaker 1: also use Twitter and Instagram UM to look for podcast hashtags.

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Speaker 1: So one of the most popular ones is hashtag pods

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Speaker 1: in color um and this is a hashtag that's used

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Speaker 1: to promote podcasts that have hosts of color UM. And

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Speaker 1: so if you are into podcasts, I mean, if you're

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Speaker 1: listening to this one, I'm guessing that you listen to

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Speaker 1: probably at least a few others, and so this I

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Speaker 1: think is a really cool way to find other people

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Speaker 1: who are listening to the same podcast that you're listening

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Speaker 1: to and strike up some conversation around that. So I know, UM,

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Speaker 1: you know, like they're always these viral UH podcasts that

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Speaker 1: will come out. So the most recent one was as

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Speaker 1: Town and Missing Richard Simmons. So if you scroll through

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Speaker 1: those hashtags, then you can find other people who are

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Speaker 1: talking about those things. And so I know, I really

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Speaker 1: like when I'm finishing an episode or finishing a podcast

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Speaker 1: to talk with other people about those things, about what

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Speaker 1: I thought and you know, did you have a different

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Speaker 1: opinion about something? And so it's really cool to kind

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Speaker 1: of follow those hashtags and join the conversations with other people.

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Speaker 1: And they also have UM Facebook discussion groups, so you

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Speaker 1: can also find UM podcast discussion groups on Facebook, or

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Speaker 1: if there isn't one for your favorite podcast, then you

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Speaker 1: may think about UM, you know, starting one, starting a

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Speaker 1: Facebook discussion groups so that you can get together with

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Speaker 1: other people who were interested in the podcast and chat

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Speaker 1: about that. Another way I think it would be good

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Speaker 1: for you to meet some people who could potentially turn

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Speaker 1: into good friends is through UM group. Physical activity, so

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Speaker 1: things like zoomba, Orange Theory, cross fit, UM, even some

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Speaker 1: rectly kinds of things. So I know a lot of

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Speaker 1: cities will have things like co ed kickball teams or

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Speaker 1: softball or flag football, those kinds of things I think

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Speaker 1: are really interesting UM and is a way for you

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Speaker 1: to get some good exercise as well as meet some

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Speaker 1: new people. So check those out. And if you have

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Speaker 1: other ideas, are things that you feel like I left

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Speaker 1: off the list that would be helpful to other people

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Speaker 1: than definitely UM send that to us in the hashtag

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Speaker 1: TBG in session. So let's move on to how we

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Speaker 1: can actually be a good friend. So once we kind

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Speaker 1: of find these people or we already have friendships that

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Speaker 1: have been developed, how do we actually maintain these friendships

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Speaker 1: and be good friends to these people. So one of

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Speaker 1: the first ways I think, and and a lot of

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Speaker 1: this is also kind of um draped over the background

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Speaker 1: of how big social media is in our lives, because

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Speaker 1: one of the first things that I think we need

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Speaker 1: to pay attention to is really making sure that we

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Speaker 1: are recognizing the important achievements that happened in the lives

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Speaker 1: of our friends. So I think it it's really easy

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Speaker 1: when we're kind of keeping up with people on Facebook

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Speaker 1: and Instagram to kind of see they got this new

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Speaker 1: promotion or they just passed this exam for their career, um,

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Speaker 1: and we like it, or we retweeted or we you know,

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Speaker 1: hard it, um. And so it looks as if we're

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Speaker 1: paying attention and you know your friend, you may think, oh,

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Speaker 1: my friend knows that I'm paying attention to this, but

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Speaker 1: it is actually much more meaningful to either send your

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Speaker 1: friend a private message or text message or even phone call,

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Speaker 1: um give that person a phone call to actually let

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Speaker 1: them know that how proud you are of their achievement um,

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Speaker 1: and to let them know that you're actually paying attention UM.

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Speaker 1: So again, you know, it gets really easy and it

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Speaker 1: seems like we're paying attention and um giving credit to

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Speaker 1: our friends. But you know, when you get two hundred

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Speaker 1: likes on something, it's really easy to kind of miss

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Speaker 1: that you may have liked or um kind of giving

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Speaker 1: me a thumbs up on whatever recent new thing is

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Speaker 1: happening in my life. So for somebody who you call

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Speaker 1: a friend, you know, trying to make that extra step

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Speaker 1: and take the extra effort of actually sending a personal

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Speaker 1: message or an email or even a card. Um. You know,

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Speaker 1: good old snail meal sometimes goes a long way. So

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Speaker 1: in the short term, you know, do those things, send

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Speaker 1: an email, the text message, or a card. But then

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Speaker 1: I think it's also important to kind of follow up

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Speaker 1: with trying to get together with that person soon. So

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Speaker 1: you know, somebody who just got a big promotion or something,

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Speaker 1: that's a reason to celebrate. Somebody who just defended a

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Speaker 1: dissertation or defendit a thesis, those are reasons to celebrate.

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Speaker 1: So you know, in the short term. You can start

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Speaker 1: with a text message, but definitely do try to plan

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Speaker 1: to get together to you know, take them out for

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Speaker 1: a drink or for a meal, um, as soon as

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Speaker 1: you both are available to do that. I also think

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Speaker 1: it's important to make standing dates UM that are non

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Speaker 1: negotiable with your friends. So if you are lucky enough

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Speaker 1: to have good friends who are close to you physically,

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Speaker 1: then you know, can you make a weekly or bi

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Speaker 1: weekly standing date to get together to watch one of

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Speaker 1: your favorite shows, or have a dinner date or um,

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Speaker 1: go for a walk around the park, whatever you decide.

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Speaker 1: But those things need to be not negotiable. So if

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Speaker 1: we're saying we're going to schedule this time, really there

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Speaker 1: should not be anything besides emergencies that should come up

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Speaker 1: to UM get you to take that off of your calendar.

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Speaker 1: You know, we often make time for the things that

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Speaker 1: are important to us, and so if our friends are important,

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Speaker 1: and they should be if we're calling them friends, then

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Speaker 1: make the time to connect with them and you know,

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Speaker 1: trying to stay away from canceling that. Another point that

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Speaker 1: is important to think about when we're thinking about how

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Speaker 1: to be a good friend is learning how to cheer

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Speaker 1: them on even when it's difficult. So I know we're

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Speaker 1: kind of smack dab in the middle of wedding season,

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Speaker 1: and you know, every day there are new engagements and

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Speaker 1: babies being born. Um. And like we talked about um

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Speaker 1: on the podcast with John that you heard last week. UM,

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Speaker 1: you know, sometimes those situations can be really tough for

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Speaker 1: us if that hasn't happened for us us and it's

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Speaker 1: something that we desire. But I think it's important to

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Speaker 1: learn how to cheer your friends on even when it

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Speaker 1: is tough for you, So kind of pulling yourself out

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Speaker 1: of the center and really being able to join with

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Speaker 1: them in celebrating their moment so you can cry about

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Speaker 1: it later and be sad and be upset, but you

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Speaker 1: definitely should make an extreme effort to be there for

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Speaker 1: your friend and really celebrate their milestones. Another issue that

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Speaker 1: I think is important to address when we're talking about

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Speaker 1: being a good friend is learning how to respond to

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Speaker 1: our friends in the way that they need as opposed

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Speaker 1: to what we would need in a situation. UM. You know,

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Speaker 1: so if your friend is somebody who does a whole

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Speaker 1: lot of processing and really just wants to talk things out, UM,

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Speaker 1: you jumping in with a quick solution or a quick

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Speaker 1: fix for the problem is probably not what they need,

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Speaker 1: so they probably need some space and time to kind

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Speaker 1: of talk through things before they want to get to

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Speaker 1: the solution phase. If they even want to get to

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Speaker 1: this solution phase. You know, sometimes it's helpful to just

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Speaker 1: talk things through and then you kind of get to

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Speaker 1: the answer that way. So I think it it is

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Speaker 1: also good, UM for you to ask your friend, if

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Speaker 1: they haven't already told you, to ask them, what do

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Speaker 1: you need for me in this moment, so that you're

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Speaker 1: making sure that you're providing the kind of support that

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Speaker 1: they actually need and not just what you think you

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Speaker 1: would like in a situation. And a final issue UM

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Speaker 1: that I think often comes up related to friendships, UM

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Speaker 1: is allowing friends to actually be good friends to us.

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Speaker 1: So a lot of times I will hear from women

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Speaker 1: that I work with, UM, I'm the person that everybody

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Speaker 1: comes to, but I don't want to burden other people

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Speaker 1: with my issues, And I just want us to kind

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Speaker 1: of really stop and think about what we're saying when

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Speaker 1: we say something like that, So people can come to

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Speaker 1: me and I trust UM that I can help them,

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Speaker 1: and I trust you know, they trust me with their

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Speaker 1: secrets and trust me to help work through their issues.

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Speaker 1: But then I don't want to get to reciprocate that.

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Speaker 1: So in some ways, in subconscious and maybe even conscious ways,

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Speaker 1: we are communicating that there is a lack of trust there,

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Speaker 1: that you cannot trust that this person will be available

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Speaker 1: to you and be able to help you in difficult

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Speaker 1: situations in the same ways that you have been able

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Speaker 1: to help them. So I think it's really important that

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Speaker 1: to be a good friend, you also allow your friends

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Speaker 1: to be good friends to you. So now that we've

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Speaker 1: talked about how to be a good friend, I think

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Speaker 1: we also have to look at what happens when the

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Speaker 1: friendships are not so good. So, you know, we started

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Speaker 1: this segment talking about um eleven ways that a good

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Speaker 1: friendship is really healthy for you, but when a friendship

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Speaker 1: is not so good, it can really be detrimental to

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Speaker 1: your health. UM. So what happens when unfortunately, sometimes friendships

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Speaker 1: have to end um or people are really not good

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Speaker 1: friends to us? Um So some signs are things that

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Speaker 1: you want to look out for related to when it

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Speaker 1: may be time to end a friendship. UM. So, if

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Speaker 1: the person is gossiping or spreading rumors about you, then

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Speaker 1: I think you would really want to look at is

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Speaker 1: this somebody that you need to continue to have in

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Speaker 1: your life? Um? If the person can't ever really show

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Speaker 1: up for you, So every time you have an achievement,

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Speaker 1: or every time you get a promotion, every time you

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Speaker 1: get a good grade on an exam, then they are

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Speaker 1: trying to one up you. Um so they're always making

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Speaker 1: attempts to downplay your accomplishments and never really giving you

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Speaker 1: the credit. There is enough space in a relationship and

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Speaker 1: a healthy relationship for everybody to have some shine. So

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Speaker 1: if if your friend or the person that is you know,

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Speaker 1: a so called friend, is always attempting to kind of

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Speaker 1: block your shine, then again I think you would question

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Speaker 1: is this somebody that I really need to have in

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Speaker 1: my life? Um? If the person is possessive of you

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Speaker 1: and has difficulty with you having other friends, um so,

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Speaker 1: I think that this is a red flag. And a

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Speaker 1: lot of the stuff that we've talked about today is

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Speaker 1: completely applicable to a romantic relationship as well. Um, but

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Speaker 1: you know a friend who doesn't want you to have

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Speaker 1: other friends, or if you make friends make plans with

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Speaker 1: another group of friends, they get really upset and don't

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Speaker 1: want to talk to you for a week. I think

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Speaker 1: you would question, you know, how healthy is this, um,

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Speaker 1: you know, because the level of possessiveness really is a

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Speaker 1: reflection of that person's difficulty having UM some maturity, UM,

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Speaker 1: an emotional maturity about a relationship. And so I would

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Speaker 1: just be very careful about any friends who feel like

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Speaker 1: they have to be really possessive of you at the

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Speaker 1: time that they have with you UM me. In. The

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Speaker 1: final thing that I think is a is a pretty

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Speaker 1: big red flag related to maybe a relationship or friendship

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Speaker 1: needing to end is if the relationship is not reciprocal.

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Speaker 1: So if you're always there for them, always cheering them on,

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Speaker 1: you're standing outside of their dissertation defense with a you know,

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Speaker 1: pom poms and um, you know, a new smoothie, our

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Speaker 1: fresh smoothie, and they can't even show up, you know,

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Speaker 1: for you for the littlest things. Then I think again

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Speaker 1: you would question, is this somebody that I really need

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Speaker 1: to have in our life in my life? UM. And

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Speaker 1: you know, relationships aren't always fifty fifty, so sometimes there

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Speaker 1: will be UM, you know, your friend could be going

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Speaker 1: through something UM pretty big in their lives and that

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Speaker 1: may require you to be there more for them in

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Speaker 1: certain situations, but there will come a time when you

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Speaker 1: will need that person to show up for you. And

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Speaker 1: if it's always that they are not able to show

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Speaker 1: up for you, then the relationship is not reciprocal. So

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Speaker 1: you may have to look at um cutting your losses

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Speaker 1: and ending that friendship. So we've talked about the benefits

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Speaker 1: of healthy friendships, we've talked about how to find new friends,

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Speaker 1: and we've also talked about recognizing some signs of when

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Speaker 1: a friendship may need to end. So this is a

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Speaker 1: perfect segue for our on the porch question this seek

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Speaker 1: and this question asked how do you deal with toxic friends? So,

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Speaker 1: once we've recognized um that a friendship may be toxic

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Speaker 1: given the symptoms and signs we talked about before previously,

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Speaker 1: one of the first things you want to do is

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Speaker 1: to try to have a conversation with your friend. So

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't say to cut off a friendship without at

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Speaker 1: least trying to have a conversation about whether some of

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Speaker 1: these things can be resolved. So you would want to

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Speaker 1: talk with your friend about some of the things that

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Speaker 1: you're seeing and how things are playing out between the

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Speaker 1: two of you, and you may also want to suggest

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Speaker 1: that your friend seek professional help with a therapist. UM.

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Speaker 1: So the key to suggesting professional help with someone is

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Speaker 1: to always focus on the behaviors that you've seen. So

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Speaker 1: if you've noticed that your friend is always canceling plans,

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Speaker 1: or if you notice that your friend is always asking

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Speaker 1: you for something but they're not able to show up

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Speaker 1: for you when you need them, that's what you will

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Speaker 1: want to focus on. Focus on behaviors, do not focus

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Speaker 1: on feelings. So make it more about the behaviors you've

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Speaker 1: you've observed and less about how you feel like this

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Speaker 1: person has made you feel. And if the person is

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Speaker 1: open to therapy, then you may see some change in

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Speaker 1: the relationship. It could be that they have issues that

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Speaker 1: have not been addressed that you know they just needed

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Speaker 1: someone to call to their attention and then they can

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Speaker 1: take care of it. So that would be the first

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Speaker 1: thing I would suggest is to try to have a

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Speaker 1: conversation and to suggest professional help if necessary. If you

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Speaker 1: do that and there is no change, UM, then it

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Speaker 1: may be time to look at actually ending the relationship.

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Speaker 1: So the one the first thing you want to keep

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Speaker 1: in mind. If you decide to end a friendship is

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Speaker 1: that you do not want to ghost this person. So

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Speaker 1: you don't want to disappear, especially if this has been

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Speaker 1: a longstanding friendship. You don't want to just kind of

396
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Speaker 1: stop taking their calls and not responding to text messages.

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Speaker 1: I do think that it is good to learn how

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Speaker 1: to say goodbye to people, even if that means somebody's

399
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Speaker 1: feelings will be hurt, and so it's important to end

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Speaker 1: the in the relationship as honorably as possible. So I

401
00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:14,960
Speaker 1: would suggest that, um, you don't go, but don't feel

402
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:18,720
Speaker 1: the need to explain a whole bunch. So you know,

403
00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:21,840
Speaker 1: if you get into too much of explanation that likely

404
00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:24,000
Speaker 1: will lead you down a very bad path in the

405
00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:28,679
Speaker 1: conversation likely won't go anywhere. So UM, you want to

406
00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:31,400
Speaker 1: be clear and to the point, and this may require

407
00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:34,000
Speaker 1: you to prepare a script ahead of time if possible.

408
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Speaker 1: So I wouldn't say to read off the script with

409
00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:38,960
Speaker 1: this person, but you may want to think about very

410
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:41,280
Speaker 1: clearly and concisely what it is that you want to

411
00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:46,120
Speaker 1: say to this person and your reasons for ending the relationship. Um,

412
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:49,800
Speaker 1: and again, try to remain factual and not emotional, so

413
00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:52,760
Speaker 1: focus on the behaviors and the facts of what you've observed,

414
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Speaker 1: and don't go too much into the emotion piece. Um.

415
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Speaker 1: The other thing I think that you need to think

416
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Speaker 1: about when this I think to end the friendship is

417
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Speaker 1: to be mindful of not getting dragged into group drama. Um. So,

418
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Speaker 1: you know, if you have mutual friends with this person

419
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Speaker 1: and you decide to end the relationship, you should expect

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Speaker 1: that the person will likely not go away quietly, right. Um, So,

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Speaker 1: especially if this person is toxic, they will likely try

422
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Speaker 1: to drag other people into the drama. And so you

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Speaker 1: just want to be mindful of that to not get

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Speaker 1: pulled into that. So I would be prepared to kind

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Speaker 1: of have a one sentence statement for any mutual friends

426
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Speaker 1: about the fact that you've decided to end the friendship

427
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Speaker 1: and really just leave it at that, be very mindful

428
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Speaker 1: of not kind of getting um pulled back into that,

429
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Speaker 1: because then it defeats the purpose of actually ending their friendship.

430
00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:46,560
Speaker 1: Right This person then is still wreaking havoc in your

431
00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:49,440
Speaker 1: life and you're always talking about it, and mutual friends

432
00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:52,000
Speaker 1: have gotten involved. So do your very best to kind

433
00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:55,359
Speaker 1: of stay um out of the free of all of

434
00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:58,440
Speaker 1: that and and really again prepare your statement and really

435
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Speaker 1: just stick to I'm just that end the friendship, and

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Speaker 1: that's all I would really prefer to say about that.

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00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:07,440
Speaker 1: So I hope that um answers your question and give

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00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:09,800
Speaker 1: you some insight about what you can do if you

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00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:12,440
Speaker 1: do decide that it is time to end the friendship

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00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:15,439
Speaker 1: with somebody who has been a toxic friend. If you

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00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:18,200
Speaker 1: have other questions and you want to get some feedback

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00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:20,600
Speaker 1: about them, please make sure to send them to me

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00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:24,880
Speaker 1: at podcast at Therapy for Black Girls dot com. So

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Speaker 1: that's our episode for this week. I hope that you've

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00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:30,040
Speaker 1: enjoyed it and learned a lot. Please continue to share

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00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:33,399
Speaker 1: with your friends again. The hashtag for the episode for

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00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:36,800
Speaker 1: the podcast is tb G in Session. You can find

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00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:40,439
Speaker 1: us on social media on Instagram and Facebook where Therapy

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00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:44,000
Speaker 1: for Black Girls and on Twitter were Therapy for Beat Girls.

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00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:47,560
Speaker 1: Looking forward to continue in the conversation with you real soon.

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Speaker 1: Take care. WoT doctor, doctor doctor int