WEBVTT - The Pushkin Prize for Egregiously Deceptive Self-Promotion 0:00:15.356 --> 0:00:27.396 Pushkin, and the Emmy goes too, and the Oscar goes 0:00:27.556 --> 0:00:31.076 to and the People's Choice Award goes. 0:00:30.876 --> 0:00:35.796 To Thank you to the Academy for this incredible recognition. 0:00:36.316 --> 0:00:39.436 I'm so honored. I'm so honored. 0:00:39.796 --> 0:00:42.996 Everybody want to know what I would do if I 0:00:43.116 --> 0:00:43.796 didn't win. 0:00:47.076 --> 0:00:47.996 I guess we'll never know. 0:00:53.436 --> 0:00:58.636 Everybody gets a prize in modern America, actors, writers, musicians. 0:00:59.276 --> 0:01:02.436 But you know who doesn't get a fancy prize the 0:01:02.516 --> 0:01:09.036 hard working administrators of America's elite colleges and universities. For years, 0:01:09.116 --> 0:01:12.276 I've observed this oversight with what can only be described 0:01:12.356 --> 0:01:17.636 as dismay, until I decided, damn it, if this country 0:01:17.716 --> 0:01:20.476 wasn't gonna honor the beleaguered giants of the Ivy League, 0:01:20.836 --> 0:01:26.716 then I would. My name is Malcolm Blackwell. You're listening 0:01:26.756 --> 0:01:31.236 to Revisionist History, my podcast about things overlooked and misunderstood. 0:01:31.716 --> 0:01:35.396 In this episode, we are pleased to inaugurate the first 0:01:35.756 --> 0:01:40.756 annual Revisionist History Higher Education Award in honor of our 0:01:40.796 --> 0:01:55.476 company's namesake. We're gonna call them the Pushkin Prizes. Folks. 0:01:55.836 --> 0:01:59.876 These prizes are super prestigious. You can't see this because 0:01:59.876 --> 0:02:02.636 this is audio but we have little gold statuettes of 0:02:02.716 --> 0:02:06.636 Alexander Pushkin himself. You're gonna walk into the lobby of 0:02:06.676 --> 0:02:10.636 your favorite eighteenth century ivy colored marble granite University Administration 0:02:10.716 --> 0:02:14.156 building and they are in a glass case. Below the 0:02:14.196 --> 0:02:18.316 tiffany chandelier is going to be a Pushkin. That is, 0:02:19.236 --> 0:02:24.076 if you're lucky. I promise that over the next few years, 0:02:24.516 --> 0:02:28.156 the giants of American academia will be graced with a 0:02:28.196 --> 0:02:33.796 Pushkin statuette in recognition of one stupendous achievement or another. 0:02:34.956 --> 0:02:38.556 And in this episode, we begin our awards program with 0:02:38.716 --> 0:02:44.596 the mac Daddy of Pushkin Prizes, the George Santos Memorial 0:02:44.876 --> 0:02:49.436 Pushkin Prize for egregiously Deceptive Self Promotion. 0:02:54.836 --> 0:02:57.156 My parents came to this country in search of the 0:02:57.196 --> 0:03:01.396 American dream. Today I live that American dream, only in 0:03:01.436 --> 0:03:07.556 this country, only in this country. And the little boy 0:03:07.676 --> 0:03:10.556 born in a basement apartment in Jackson Heights, Queens in 0:03:10.556 --> 0:03:14.676 New York City, become a United States Congressman at thirty four. 0:03:19.276 --> 0:03:23.836 It's a story of survival, of tenacity, of grit, as 0:03:23.836 --> 0:03:24.716 we like to call it. 0:03:25.436 --> 0:03:28.956 Actually, it's not a story of survival, tenacity and grit 0:03:29.356 --> 0:03:32.196 as we like to call it the story of George Santos, 0:03:32.516 --> 0:03:35.316 Congressman from Long Island, is the story of someone who 0:03:35.316 --> 0:03:39.636 made up basically everything on his resume. And it is 0:03:39.756 --> 0:03:43.836 that shamelessness that we seek to reward with the first 0:03:44.236 --> 0:03:45.796 of the coveted Pushkin Prizes. 0:03:46.476 --> 0:03:49.716 Good morning, Chabatsalom too, everybody. Thank you for being here, 0:03:49.796 --> 0:03:52.956 Thank you for having me. We're no stranger to persecution. 0:03:53.516 --> 0:03:57.556 My grandfather fleeing Ukraine in nineteen twenties to Belgium. 0:03:57.996 --> 0:04:01.516 Turns out he's not Jewish. Santos said his mom was 0:04:01.516 --> 0:04:04.596 a nine to eleven survivor. Turns out she wasn't even 0:04:04.716 --> 0:04:07.556 in New York City during nine to eleven. He said 0:04:07.756 --> 0:04:10.076 he worked at Goldman Sachs. It turns out he never 0:04:10.116 --> 0:04:13.596 set foot in Golden Sex. And then there was this 0:04:14.636 --> 0:04:17.996 tallest of tall tales, which I love so much. 0:04:18.796 --> 0:04:20.956 Hey, you know what's funny, George. You go right to 0:04:20.996 --> 0:04:22.876 the heart here of me. Sid and Bernie. 0:04:23.316 --> 0:04:25.876 This is Santos on a local New York radio show 0:04:26.116 --> 0:04:29.116 Sid and Friends in the Morning during his first congressional 0:04:29.236 --> 0:04:33.356 run in twenty twenty, and the host Sid Rosenberg starts 0:04:33.396 --> 0:04:35.116 talking about sports. 0:04:35.436 --> 0:04:38.676 At the very end of your biography, It says in 0:04:38.756 --> 0:04:43.876 his spare time, George Anthony enjoys volleyball and tennis. 0:04:44.156 --> 0:04:47.276 Rosenberg says, that's funny because both his daughter and his 0:04:47.396 --> 0:04:51.636 co host daughter are avid volleyball and tennis players. Then 0:04:52.196 --> 0:04:54.596 Santo's response, you know, it's funny. 0:04:54.636 --> 0:04:58.036 I actually went to school on a volleyball scholarship. 0:04:58.156 --> 0:04:59.876 I did what I did. 0:04:59.956 --> 0:05:03.116 Yeah, when I was in Beruke, we were the number 0:05:03.116 --> 0:05:03.756 one volleyball. 0:05:03.756 --> 0:05:05.756 Did you graduate from barok? Did you graduate from them? 0:05:05.876 --> 0:05:06.076 Yeah? 0:05:06.116 --> 0:05:06.756 So did I did? 0:05:06.756 --> 0:05:07.316 I did so? 0:05:07.396 --> 0:05:07.636 Did I? 0:05:07.716 --> 0:05:10.756 Oh? Very cool cho great institutions. But it's funny that 0:05:10.916 --> 0:05:17.636 we went to play against Harvard Yale and we play them. 0:05:18.036 --> 0:05:21.836 We were champions across the entire Northeast corridor. Every school 0:05:21.836 --> 0:05:24.716 that came up against us, they were shaking at the time. 0:05:24.876 --> 0:05:26.796 And it's funny. I was the smallest guy and I'm 0:05:26.836 --> 0:05:29.836 six two. We had on our block, on our on 0:05:29.916 --> 0:05:33.076 our on our block alone, there were six seven sixty eight. 0:05:33.316 --> 0:05:35.716 These guys weren't jumping, they were just stretching their arms up. 0:05:36.916 --> 0:05:39.036 We were, we were and all of us could have 0:05:39.036 --> 0:05:41.836 been playing basketball, but we chose volleyball because it was easier. 0:05:42.636 --> 0:05:45.716 So it was a great time I look, I sacrificed 0:05:45.716 --> 0:05:49.076 both my knees and got very nice knee replacements. Knee 0:05:49.076 --> 0:05:53.116 replacements from Assa's playing volleyball. That's how serious I took 0:05:53.156 --> 0:05:53.516 the game. 0:05:54.076 --> 0:05:56.596 Well, that's how serious you're taking politics as well. Remember 0:05:56.636 --> 0:05:59.276 this name, folks, George Santos out in the third district. 0:05:59.836 --> 0:06:03.196 This is, to my mind, the gold standard George Santos fabrication, 0:06:03.596 --> 0:06:07.756 a wedding cake of prevarication. The Washington posted a breakdown 0:06:07.796 --> 0:06:13.156 to the tape, and here's what they found. Let's start 0:06:13.196 --> 0:06:16.796 with the smallest lies and work backwards. Brooke didn't beat 0:06:16.836 --> 0:06:21.036 Yale at volleyball because Yale doesn't have a varsity volleyball team. 0:06:21.356 --> 0:06:25.236 Santels later said he played the position of striker. Volleyball 0:06:25.276 --> 0:06:29.436 teams don't have strikers. That suck. Nor did Santos have 0:06:29.476 --> 0:06:32.756 a volleyball scholarship at Baruque because Baruq doesn't give out 0:06:32.836 --> 0:06:36.516 volleyball scholarships, and at six', two he would not have 0:06:36.556 --> 0:06:38.916 been the shortest player in the team even if he 0:06:39.036 --> 0:06:41.836 had been on the, team but he. Wasn't he never 0:06:41.876 --> 0:06:45.556 played volleyball At, baruk maybe because he never Attended baruk at, 0:06:45.556 --> 0:06:48.356 all which means his needs are perfectly, fine unless that, 0:06:48.476 --> 0:06:51.916 is he blew them out playing some other imaginary. Sport 0:06:54.156 --> 0:06:56.596 that's seven lies in a. Row and if you listen 0:06:56.636 --> 0:06:58.516 to the, tape it's clear that he made up the 0:06:58.556 --> 0:07:02.356 whole string on the. Fly the man is an. Icon 0:07:02.876 --> 0:07:05.636 and with our First Pushkin, prize we ask What american 0:07:05.636 --> 0:07:09.996 college came closest in the past year to this lofty. 0:07:10.396 --> 0:07:14.956 Standard believe, me they were many, nominees all of them. 0:07:14.996 --> 0:07:23.276 Worthy envelope, please and the winner Is Columbia. 0:07:23.916 --> 0:07:34.116 University the big beginning when you heard when you, SAID 0:07:34.156 --> 0:07:37.196 i want to Investigate columbia's rise to number, two did, 0:07:37.236 --> 0:07:38.916 you in the back of your mind think there might 0:07:38.956 --> 0:07:40.236 be something questionable going? 0:07:40.236 --> 0:07:42.516 On, yes not even, no not in the back of my. 0:07:42.556 --> 0:07:43.916 Mind at the front of my, mind. 0:07:43.836 --> 0:07:46.276 You're listening to a math professor At columbia Named Michael, 0:07:46.316 --> 0:07:49.516 thaddius fifties long. HAIR i went to see him in 0:07:49.556 --> 0:07:52.276 his office on The columbia, campus full of books and, 0:07:52.356 --> 0:07:55.956 strange captivating jottings on the. Wall my father was a. 0:07:55.956 --> 0:07:59.876 MATHEMATICIAN i have great affection for the. Species if you Google, 0:07:59.916 --> 0:08:03.316 thadius you'll find papers that begin with things like we 0:08:03.436 --> 0:08:08.036 discuss sympletic cutting For hamiltonian actions of Non abelian compact. 0:08:08.076 --> 0:08:12.236 Groups by using a degeneration based on The vinburg, monoid 0:08:12.476 --> 0:08:16.556 we give in good cases a global quotient description of 0:08:16.596 --> 0:08:20.756 a surgery construction introduced By woodward n mind, ranking and 0:08:20.836 --> 0:08:25.636 show it can be interpreted in algebra geometric. TERMS i 0:08:25.676 --> 0:08:28.596 have no idea what that, means But Michael thaddius, does 0:08:29.116 --> 0:08:31.236 which is to say that when it comes to numbers 0:08:31.276 --> 0:08:34.836 and statistics and, things he's someone to take very. Seriously 0:08:36.036 --> 0:08:39.436 so one, day not long, ago he hears something that 0:08:39.556 --> 0:08:40.156 doesn't seem. 0:08:40.276 --> 0:08:43.996 Right SO i saw That columbia had risen to number. 0:08:43.996 --> 0:08:46.916 TWO i think in, fact this was even mentioned by 0:08:46.916 --> 0:08:49.116 our own dean at a faculty. MEETING i think that's 0:08:49.156 --> 0:08:50.156 HOW i found out about. 0:08:50.156 --> 0:08:54.316 It the dean announces to, EVERYONE i have amazing. News 0:08:54.876 --> 0:08:57.276 columbia has just risen to number two in THE Us 0:08:57.276 --> 0:09:01.756 News college, rankings just a hair Behind. Princeton everyone basks 0:09:01.796 --> 0:09:05.036 in the glow of the school's extraordinary, achievement because you 0:09:05.116 --> 0:09:08.436 know what a HIGH Us news rankings, means more alumni, 0:09:08.476 --> 0:09:14.156 dollars more, prestige more, applications more excitement and desire from 0:09:14.276 --> 0:09:18.436 neurotic upper middle class suburban. Parents for anyone With Ivy league, 0:09:18.516 --> 0:09:22.076 dreams it's the holy. GRAIL i, mean if you have 0:09:22.116 --> 0:09:24.676 a kid in high school and your kids, Said, MOM 0:09:24.796 --> 0:09:27.036 i just got Into, columbia you will be over the. 0:09:27.036 --> 0:09:30.116 Moon and why would you be over the Moon Because 0:09:30.156 --> 0:09:35.036 columbia is number two in THE Us news. Rankings so 0:09:35.756 --> 0:09:40.036 The dean makes for big, announcement But Michael, thaddeus the numbers, 0:09:40.076 --> 0:09:41.516 guy isn't buying. 0:09:41.276 --> 0:09:45.676 It and that just piqued my. Curiosity two is pretty high. 0:09:45.756 --> 0:09:49.396 Ranking you, Know in, particular we were tied With harvard AND, 0:09:49.476 --> 0:09:54.236 mit which are institutions that objectively have certain big advantages over. 0:09:54.356 --> 0:09:56.436 Us they have much larger, endowments they have much more 0:09:56.476 --> 0:09:59.516 space than we. Do AND i just you, Know i've 0:09:59.516 --> 0:10:02.516 also over the, Years i've taken a greater and, greater 0:10:02.636 --> 0:10:06.036 perhaps almost obsessive interest in facts and figures about the. 0:10:06.116 --> 0:10:08.396 UNIVERSITY i look at a lot of websites where the numbers, 0:10:08.396 --> 0:10:13.116 appear AND i just, wondered how Could columbia have performed 0:10:13.116 --> 0:10:16.476 so well on this ranking as to be tied with 0:10:16.796 --> 0:10:19.596 institutions that have these objective advantages over. It how do 0:10:19.636 --> 0:10:20.276 the numbers break? 0:10:20.356 --> 0:10:30.036 Down columbia started in these rankings at, eighteenth then began a, 0:10:30.076 --> 0:10:38.636 steady dramatic climb Past, Cornell, washington Uw, Rice, Vanderbilt, Brown, Dartmouth, Northwestern, Duke, 0:10:38.676 --> 0:10:44.716 Caltech Penn Johns, Hopkins university Of, Chicago, Yale. Stanford in 0:10:44.756 --> 0:10:48.436 the past five years, alone they've gone from fifth to 0:10:48.596 --> 0:10:54.236 third to, second shooting like a shiny asteroid past their glittering. 0:10:54.316 --> 0:10:56.236 Peers i'm a. 0:10:56.316 --> 0:10:56.676 Runner you. 0:10:56.676 --> 0:10:59.556 Know in the running, world the tell for whether someone 0:10:59.676 --> 0:11:05.876 is doping is in an unexpected. Improvement you, know when 0:11:05.916 --> 0:11:11.356 the twenty seven year old miler suddenly lops three seconds 0:11:11.436 --> 0:11:13.716 off their personal. BEST i see you, say. 0:11:14.916 --> 0:11:18.756 Sudden improvement is the tell sudden out of context. 0:11:18.836 --> 0:11:25.476 Improvement oh. My the first Thing thadius did after the 0:11:25.516 --> 0:11:28.596 faculty meeting is by a subscription to THE Us news. 0:11:28.716 --> 0:11:32.796 Rankings he downloaded the Data columbia submitted for his, application 0:11:33.596 --> 0:11:37.956 and his eye falls on class. Size columbia reported TO 0:11:38.076 --> 0:11:40.796 Us news that eighty two point five percent of its 0:11:40.796 --> 0:11:45.676 classes had less than twenty. Students thaddius looked at that 0:11:45.756 --> 0:11:46.956 number and, thought. 0:11:47.796 --> 0:11:51.396 Huh anyone who was taught here AS i have for 0:11:51.436 --> 0:11:54.036 the last twenty five, years knows that our class sizes 0:11:54.076 --> 0:11:57.156 are not particularly small for an elite, university and that 0:11:57.196 --> 0:12:00.956 they have been steadily. Growing i'm teaching, calculus OR i 0:12:00.956 --> 0:12:03.996 have just finished teaching a calculus course that had about 0:12:03.996 --> 0:12:06.916 seventy six, students and that's typical for a course of that. 0:12:07.076 --> 0:12:12.636 NATURE Us news said that what was it? AGAIN i 0:12:12.676 --> 0:12:16.276 think eighty two point five percent of all classes enrolled 0:12:16.316 --> 0:12:20.076 below twenty, students and that just did not square with 0:12:20.156 --> 0:12:21.436 my experience at. 0:12:21.436 --> 0:12:25.476 All so he decided to fact Check columbia's. Claim he 0:12:25.556 --> 0:12:28.396 went to the university's class catalog and pulled out the 0:12:28.476 --> 0:12:31.596 data on all thirty thousand of the school's. 0:12:31.596 --> 0:12:37.156 CLASSES i took THE html code of those, pages downloaded 0:12:37.196 --> 0:12:41.316 the source, code concatenated all the. Files THEN i used 0:12:41.356 --> 0:12:45.196 a text, Editor emacs to edit the resulting gigantic file 0:12:45.316 --> 0:12:47.076 in such a way THAT i turned it into a 0:12:47.876 --> 0:12:53.716 database comma separated database with the course, names, numbers, enrollments 0:12:54.036 --> 0:12:55.316 and THEN i opened it up In. 0:12:55.356 --> 0:12:59.676 Excel he analyzed the, data double checked his, math and 0:12:59.796 --> 0:13:02.156 realized his pokey feeling was. 0:13:02.356 --> 0:13:06.116 JUSTIFIED i was able to arrive at an estimate it 0:13:06.156 --> 0:13:09.236 was more like sixty two to sixty eight, percent a 0:13:09.276 --> 0:13:10.436 far cry from eighty three. 0:13:10.476 --> 0:13:15.036 Percent now he's getting. Suspicious he picks another. Number THE 0:13:15.116 --> 0:13:18.116 Us news rankings penalizes the school if it has too 0:13:18.116 --> 0:13:22.156 many part time. Faculty columbia TOLD Us news that it 0:13:22.356 --> 0:13:25.796 only had one hundred and thirty seven part, timers but 0:13:25.876 --> 0:13:28.476 that has found that the school also had to report 0:13:28.476 --> 0:13:30.316 the statistic to The department Of. 0:13:30.396 --> 0:13:33.156 Education the number reporter of the government was over one, 0:13:33.156 --> 0:13:36.276 thousand AND i think that that's the more accurate number to, 0:13:36.316 --> 0:13:39.956 me this is a really important figure that the balance 0:13:39.996 --> 0:13:43.876 between full time and part time faculty is a crucial 0:13:43.916 --> 0:13:46.596 matter for the future of intellectual life and the future 0:13:46.636 --> 0:13:50.796 Of american. Universities if we just casualize our, faculty we 0:13:50.836 --> 0:13:53.676 switched to the sort of gig economy model where most 0:13:53.676 --> 0:13:57.516 people are working contingentally at part. Time that's going to 0:13:57.516 --> 0:14:00.156 be disastrous for the quality of. Education it's going to 0:14:00.156 --> 0:14:03.716 be disastrous for the quality of intellectual. Life and so 0:14:03.756 --> 0:14:08.156 we need to have, honest reliable figures about. This and 0:14:08.236 --> 0:14:10.436 yet we have these two figures From columbia that differ 0:14:10.516 --> 0:14:11.156 by a factor of. 0:14:11.156 --> 0:14:14.716 Eight he kept, GOING Us news wants to know what 0:14:14.836 --> 0:14:18.276 percentage of your faculty has a terminal degree in their. Field, 0:14:18.396 --> 0:14:21.956 basically do they have a PhD or. Not columbia reported 0:14:21.956 --> 0:14:25.156 the highest terminal degree number of any college in the entire, 0:14:25.196 --> 0:14:28.836 country ninety nine point five, percent WHICH Us news rounded 0:14:28.916 --> 0:14:32.996 up to one hundred. Percent that's. Everyone So thadius goes 0:14:33.036 --> 0:14:35.676 through the faculty directory and looks to see if there's 0:14:35.716 --> 0:14:39.076 anyone teaching At columbia who only has a bachelor's degree 0:14:39.636 --> 0:14:43.836 and finds dozens and dozens of faculty with no more 0:14:43.876 --> 0:14:44.716 than A ba to their. 0:14:44.796 --> 0:14:47.556 Name and that was enough that there was no way 0:14:47.596 --> 0:14:49.436 that the percentage could have been ninety nine point. 0:14:49.516 --> 0:14:52.916 Five columbia says it's student faculty ratio is six to. 0:14:52.956 --> 0:14:56.036 One it's. Not it's more like eleven to. One on 0:14:56.836 --> 0:14:57.676 and on. 0:14:58.356 --> 0:15:02.596 Every single figure that WHERE i could check it, INDEPENDENTLY 0:15:03.276 --> 0:15:06.756 i found a significant discrepancy between what was reported TO 0:15:06.876 --> 0:15:08.716 Us news and WHAT i could confirm. 0:15:08.716 --> 0:15:11.916 Elsewhere then he sat down and wrote up a massive 0:15:11.916 --> 0:15:17.436 analysis of his findings, charts, graphs computer, analyzes pages upon. 0:15:17.596 --> 0:15:20.956 Pages he puts it up on his faculty web, page 0:15:21.116 --> 0:15:25.436 and there it sits for weeks and weeks, until for 0:15:25.476 --> 0:15:29.436 some strange, reason someone posts a link To thaddeus's manifesto 0:15:29.716 --> 0:15:33.196 on the message board of the running Website let's run dot. 0:15:33.236 --> 0:15:36.596 Com if you are unfamiliar with the message boards Of Let's, 0:15:36.676 --> 0:15:40.836 run here are some typical. Threads two he runs crazy 0:15:40.916 --> 0:15:43.916 four to twenty three anchor leg FOR Nc, state but 0:15:43.956 --> 0:15:48.396 still not enough for d mr. Or at twenty, SEVEN 0:15:48.716 --> 0:15:52.436 i finally realized every tattoo anyone has is for attracting 0:15:52.476 --> 0:15:58.036 a mate Or Rip, spencer the official dog of The Boston, 0:15:58.036 --> 0:16:01.996 marathon has. Died now how DO i know about? This 0:16:02.436 --> 0:16:05.716 Because Let's run is one of my favorite. WEBSITES i 0:16:05.756 --> 0:16:08.516 am one of those people dutifully reading The Let's run message. 0:16:08.556 --> 0:16:11.436 Boards SO i see a link and click on. It 0:16:11.476 --> 0:16:13.676 because you know HOW i feel about THE us news. 0:16:13.756 --> 0:16:17.356 Rankings i'm obsessed with. Them i've lost track of how 0:16:17.356 --> 0:16:21.236 many revisionist history episodes have been devoted to testifying to their. 0:16:21.276 --> 0:16:25.476 STUPIDITY i don't understand why college administrators care so much about, 0:16:25.516 --> 0:16:28.876 them why parents and their college bound teenagers go nuts about. 0:16:28.876 --> 0:16:32.556 Them when law schools and medical schools began dropping out 0:16:32.596 --> 0:16:35.196 of THE us, RANKINGS i walked around the streets Of 0:16:35.196 --> 0:16:38.956 New york pounding on my chest LIKE i was personally. 0:16:38.996 --> 0:16:43.316 Responsible do you see What i'm? SAYING i was the 0:16:43.356 --> 0:16:46.796 target audience for The thaddeus Expose. 0:16:46.356 --> 0:16:49.716 AGAIN i salute. You you were serre of the tipping, 0:16:49.716 --> 0:16:52.036 point AS i, SAID i, mean but when you started 0:16:52.116 --> 0:16:53.996 tweeting about, it that was when the rest of the 0:16:54.036 --> 0:16:56.316 world started to take. Notice So i'm grateful for. 0:16:56.356 --> 0:17:00.196 That, oh the first nice thing anyone has ever said 0:17:00.196 --> 0:17:05.196 about My. Twitter so the story goes. Everywhere colombia goes 0:17:05.236 --> 0:17:09.156 into a defensive, crouch and THE Us news reanalyzes the 0:17:09.196 --> 0:17:16.516 situation and Downgrades columbia back to. Eighteen, oh how the 0:17:16.636 --> 0:17:29.716 mighty have. FALLEN i know what you're. Thinking The Pushkin 0:17:29.796 --> 0:17:34.596 prize is a highly prestigious. Award those statuettes are. Coveted 0:17:35.196 --> 0:17:38.516 so how can we be sure That columbia meets the 0:17:38.756 --> 0:17:44.516 elevated standard set by our Namesake George? Santos very good. 0:17:44.676 --> 0:17:48.996 Question please join me as we break it. Down to my, 0:17:49.116 --> 0:17:52.076 mind there are three Criteria columbia needs to meet to 0:17:52.236 --> 0:17:58.076 rise To santos level. Deception the first is. Gratuitousness that's 0:17:58.116 --> 0:18:01.156 the power of The santos bit about his volleyball career At. 0:18:01.156 --> 0:18:05.076 Baruk this was a lie fundamentally different from his claims 0:18:05.076 --> 0:18:08.276 to Being, jewish working At Golden sachs and running a 0:18:08.356 --> 0:18:11.396 charity for unwanted. Pets SORRY i left that one out. 0:18:11.436 --> 0:18:14.596 Before those were all lies that helped his case with 0:18:14.596 --> 0:18:17.676 the voters Of Long. ISLAND A jewish investment banker who 0:18:17.716 --> 0:18:21.436 loves domestic animals is pretty much The Long island equivalent 0:18:21.996 --> 0:18:25.316 Of George. Clooney but no one was going to vote 0:18:25.316 --> 0:18:27.756 for him because he blew out two knees battling as 0:18:27.796 --> 0:18:31.356 the shortest man on The barut volleyball. Squad he had 0:18:31.396 --> 0:18:36.516 them A Jewish Goldman sachs and abandoned. Kittens the volleyball 0:18:36.596 --> 0:18:40.036 lie was pure gilding the, lily and that's what makes 0:18:40.116 --> 0:18:44.116 it so. Heroic santos lied when it wasn't even in 0:18:44.236 --> 0:18:50.316 his interest to. Lie now Does columbia meet this? Standard 0:18:50.876 --> 0:18:55.196 was their deception? Gratuitous in order to answer this, QUESTION 0:18:55.556 --> 0:18:59.756 i turned To Revisionist history's resident data, Scientist Lauren. Lavelle, 0:19:01.076 --> 0:19:06.716 Lauren Lauren, Lauren, Hey, malcolm we ride. Again some of 0:19:06.756 --> 0:19:10.276 you may Remember lauren from The Project dillard episdisode Of Revision's. 0:19:10.356 --> 0:19:13.716 HISTORY a group of undergraduates that read college hacked their 0:19:13.756 --> 0:19:16.636 way into THE Us news, algorithm which gave them a 0:19:16.676 --> 0:19:20.676 computer model that can test any hypothesis about a school's. 0:19:20.756 --> 0:19:24.476 Rankings SO i Asked, lauren who studied statistics At, read 0:19:24.836 --> 0:19:27.636 to use the model to figure out how a historically 0:19:27.676 --> 0:19:31.436 black college could rise in THE Us news. Rankings you 0:19:31.436 --> 0:19:34.636 may recall her. Answer it was the best way for 0:19:34.676 --> 0:19:37.236 a college full of black students to rise in THE 0:19:37.356 --> 0:19:40.316 Us news rankings was to let in lots of white. 0:19:40.316 --> 0:19:42.036 Students AND i. 0:19:42.156 --> 0:19:46.276 Can't emphasize enough that this model was built by undergraduate 0:19:46.316 --> 0:19:49.396 students for a class. Project they did a great, job 0:19:49.436 --> 0:19:53.276 and this model works. Amazingly you, know it wasn't some 0:19:53.676 --> 0:19:57.516 super prestigious data scientists getting paid millions of dollars to 0:19:57.596 --> 0:20:01.996 do this for some super prestigious university like it's. 0:20:02.036 --> 0:20:05.796 Students in other, words the barriers to manipulation are. Low, 0:20:06.116 --> 0:20:09.476 Yes SO i said To, lauren let's use the Trusted 0:20:09.556 --> 0:20:13.356 read college model to get at this question of. GRATUITOUSNESS 0:20:13.996 --> 0:20:16.596 i send her a list of questions starting with tell 0:20:16.636 --> 0:20:20.476 me which Of columbia's whoppers mattered the, most and her 0:20:20.556 --> 0:20:22.236 conclusion was a. 0:20:22.276 --> 0:20:26.756 Shocker the thing that really making the biggest difference is 0:20:26.796 --> 0:20:31.196 the faculty resources. Category so for faculty, resources we have 0:20:31.236 --> 0:20:33.836 our class, size our percent of our faculty that are 0:20:33.876 --> 0:20:35.716 full time and our student to faculty. 0:20:35.796 --> 0:20:39.756 RATIO Us news grades all universities on a scale of 0:20:39.876 --> 0:20:43.236 zero to one, hundred So princeton at number one is one. 0:20:43.316 --> 0:20:47.436 Hundred columbia is a close second at ninety. Six according 0:20:47.476 --> 0:20:51.676 To lauren's, analysis fiddling with just those three variables Gave 0:20:51.756 --> 0:20:56.276 columbia an eight point. Boost and the reason that's unexpected 0:20:56.556 --> 0:21:00.196 is because faculty resources only count for a tiny amount 0:21:00.436 --> 0:21:05.476 in the OVERALL Us news ranking. Algorithm you tinker with those, 0:21:05.556 --> 0:21:07.076 variables you get a massive. 0:21:07.116 --> 0:21:11.756 Payoff exactly when you change just one or two of, them, 0:21:11.796 --> 0:21:13.796 again it's only like a one or two, Point but 0:21:13.836 --> 0:21:15.956 when you put all three of them, together it's the 0:21:15.996 --> 0:21:21.276 synergies between these variables that create these big. Jumps, wait 0:21:21.356 --> 0:21:22.036 so on. 0:21:22.196 --> 0:21:26.076 Apausitives, yeah this is really interesting because this supports the 0:21:26.116 --> 0:21:31.876 notion that this was not an accidental happening At. Columbia 0:21:31.356 --> 0:21:34.916 this suggests there was some significant thought behind, this because 0:21:35.236 --> 0:21:38.476 what you told me is something that's not. Intuitive. RIGHT 0:21:38.756 --> 0:21:42.396 i would have thought that you could identify one whiz 0:21:42.476 --> 0:21:44.796 bank that would have given us a massive. Payoff we 0:21:44.796 --> 0:21:46.996 wouldn't have had to do anything. Else but what you're 0:21:47.036 --> 0:21:50.276 saying is, no You, actually it's an unexpected area gives 0:21:50.316 --> 0:21:53.036 you a huge. Payoff and also if you want to 0:21:53.076 --> 0:21:56.716 get a twelve point, swing you have to tinker with 0:21:56.956 --> 0:21:57.476 a lot of. 0:21:57.556 --> 0:22:00.436 Variables, absolutely, Absolutely. 0:21:59.916 --> 0:22:02.636 And there's there's some kind of thing greater than the 0:22:02.716 --> 0:22:04.436 some of its parts that's that work here that you 0:22:04.476 --> 0:22:07.076 could only stumble on if you went behind the scenes 0:22:07.116 --> 0:22:09.836 and sort of tried to figure out a murky black 0:22:09.876 --> 0:22:10.676 box that is us. 0:22:10.796 --> 0:22:15.716 News, yes that is exactly What i'm. Saying so can 0:22:15.756 --> 0:22:17.956 we do screen share on? Here is that a? Thing 0:22:18.116 --> 0:22:19.436 CAN i show you my? 0:22:19.596 --> 0:22:22.516 Code can? You can you tilt your camera to just 0:22:22.556 --> 0:22:25.596 show me the thing IN i? See, oh oh it's 0:22:25.636 --> 0:22:29.836 on your? Screen can you screen share an? Emo, Lauren 0:22:29.836 --> 0:22:31.956 i'm fifty nine years. OLD i barely know how to 0:22:31.956 --> 0:22:36.116 work a. Computer, sorry this went on for a. Bit 0:22:36.436 --> 0:22:38.516 this is what happens when a data scientist tries to 0:22:38.556 --> 0:22:45.716 communicate with a boomer over. Zoom lauren laps into geek 0:22:45.716 --> 0:22:50.396 mode for like twenty, minutes talking about unexpected. Nonlinearities her 0:22:50.476 --> 0:22:53.556 point was that the way to climb the rankings is not. 0:22:53.876 --> 0:22:57.356 Obvious it's a laundry list of nips and tucks that 0:22:57.476 --> 0:23:01.436 an unexpected combination give you a. Facelift if you tried 0:23:01.476 --> 0:23:04.396 to do it just by eyeballing the criteria THAT Us 0:23:04.436 --> 0:23:08.516 news makes, public you'd fail to go back to the 0:23:08.556 --> 0:23:12.636 POINT i was, saying to my, mind this argues powerfully 0:23:12.756 --> 0:23:17.836 for some kind of premeditation on the part Of. COLUMBIA i, 0:23:17.876 --> 0:23:19.596 mean we have no idea what they, did so it 0:23:19.716 --> 0:23:22.516 is all in the realm of. Speculation but they basically 0:23:22.596 --> 0:23:28.476 manufactured a twelve point. Swing and it's very hard to 0:23:28.516 --> 0:23:32.676 imagine how you could manufacture a twelve point swing by 0:23:32.716 --> 0:23:34.316 the seat of your, pants because it's not. 0:23:34.356 --> 0:23:41.036 INTUITIVE i, agree there's probably some dirty play happening, Somewhere. 0:23:41.436 --> 0:23:44.436 Lauren they hired someone like, you that's what they. Did 0:23:46.076 --> 0:23:49.636 somewhere out, there there is some brainy twenty six year 0:23:49.676 --> 0:23:50.716 old with blood on their. 0:23:50.756 --> 0:23:55.756 HANDS i, mean, maybe to. 0:23:55.676 --> 0:23:58.356 Be, CLEAR i don't know that they hired someone Like 0:23:58.436 --> 0:24:02.676 lauren to coordinate. This but here's the crucial fact that 0:24:02.836 --> 0:24:07.796 Puts columbia In George santo's. Territory lots Of columbia's inventions 0:24:08.156 --> 0:24:11.756 don't have much of a, payoff, like for, instance their 0:24:11.796 --> 0:24:15.916 most spectacular nonsense of all The Big kahuna concerns something 0:24:15.956 --> 0:24:20.156 called instructional resources the more money you spend on, teaching 0:24:20.596 --> 0:24:23.316 the MORE Us news rewards. You and the number Of 0:24:23.356 --> 0:24:27.276 columbia claim to spend on teaching was hilariously, large just 0:24:27.436 --> 0:24:31.676 over three billion. Dollars that he has spent a huge 0:24:31.716 --> 0:24:33.916 amount of time trying to figure out just where that 0:24:33.996 --> 0:24:37.836 preposterous number came, from before he realized they just added 0:24:37.836 --> 0:24:39.916 in the one point two billion they spend every year 0:24:39.956 --> 0:24:44.556 on patient care At columbia's medical. Center they're pretending that 0:24:44.596 --> 0:24:48.236 the person getting an Appendect toby is a, student which 0:24:48.276 --> 0:24:55.356 is completely and utterly. Bananas now what difference did this 0:24:55.636 --> 0:24:58.476 particular outrageous bit Of shenanigan. 0:24:58.596 --> 0:25:03.036 Make let's, SEE i have a graph. Somewhere, Okay So 0:25:04.076 --> 0:25:09.116