Speaker 1: Episode three forty two, The Importance of Honoring your Season.
Speaker 2: Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast, where you'll learn to
Speaker 2: save money, embrace simplicity, and liver your life. Here your hosts,
Speaker 2: Jen and Jill.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast. My name is Jen,
Speaker 1: my name is Jill, And today we are doing another
Speaker 1: episode just the two of us, with no articles, because
Speaker 1: honoring your season is something that we feel very strongly
Speaker 1: about when it comes to your personal finances, and we
Speaker 1: have a lot to say on the topic, and if
Speaker 1: we included what other people also have to say, you'd
Speaker 1: be here all day. And we're not going to keep
Speaker 1: you here, So we're going to get down to the
Speaker 1: brass tacks, just the two of us, just.
Speaker 3: The two of us, weekend.
Speaker 1: Maybe all right, that's it.
Speaker 3: That's all we can do. And these episodes that our
Speaker 3: original content tend to be our longest episodes because apparently
Speaker 3: we just like our own original thought.
Speaker 1: We have so much to say.
Speaker 3: But first, this episode is brought to you by Constants,
Speaker 3: not quite planks. Constant or constands Germany or constands Mozart. No, No,
Speaker 3: we're talking about the things that are constant in your
Speaker 3: life despite the changing seasons. There may not be many,
Speaker 3: but what a gift they are. All these constants have
Speaker 3: joined together to highlight another constant that can be incorporated
Speaker 3: into your life, and that's the friend Letter. It comes
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Speaker 3: That's us to your inbox three times per week and
Speaker 3: includes updates about freebies, tips for saving and money, mindset
Speaker 3: ideas to help you do better with finances. So go
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Speaker 1: Yes, And if you already get the friend Letter, share
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Speaker 3: We were hemorrhaging this. We can we can't keep up
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Speaker 3: Maybe it can be a constant on your water bottle,
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Speaker 1: E standbull not constantinople.
Speaker 3: You know we like comstance. And if your name is Constance,
Speaker 3: then today's your day. Yes, get the friend letter all right?
Speaker 1: So if you enjoy this episode, then a few other
Speaker 1: ones that you might like to queue up that are
Speaker 1: also associated with the book that we are writing. Episode
Speaker 1: three twenty five Step by step Guide to Values based Spending,
Speaker 1: three thirty what is the Radical Middle, how to live It?
Speaker 1: Three thirty three, how to prioritize paying off student loans,
Speaker 1: and three thirty seven how to adopt a frugal mindset.
Speaker 1: So these are all part of the book that we
Speaker 1: are writing that will be out in twenty twenty five
Speaker 1: about values based spending and how to do it. We
Speaker 1: talk in the first episode three twenty five about what
Speaker 1: it is, and then the entire rest of the book
Speaker 1: is how do I actually practice it? Because it is.
Speaker 1: If you've ever made a budget or tried to do
Speaker 1: anything with your finances, you know that knowing is one
Speaker 1: and practicing as a whole other monster. And that's what
Speaker 1: the book is about, helping you practice and do the
Speaker 1: things that you know you want to do. And this
Speaker 1: is where we take this conversation about the importance of
Speaker 1: honoring your season, because you're not going to be able
Speaker 1: to do all the things you want to do at
Speaker 1: the same time, or even at one time, one thing
Speaker 1: at one time. So Jill talk to us about what
Speaker 1: do we mean by life seasons? What are these various
Speaker 1: seasons of life?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think this is something that can be over
Speaker 3: an overused phrase like this season of life, this journey
Speaker 3: that I'm on, But there is a reality to us
Speaker 3: being in different stages or being impacted by different circumstances,
Speaker 3: sometimes for a short amount of time, sometimes for a
Speaker 3: longer amount of time. And I do think it can
Speaker 3: be a helpful metaphor, similar to how we talk about
Speaker 3: the seasons we experience as the world travels around the sun.
Speaker 3: That we've got spring, summer, winterfall, and we just have
Speaker 3: summer if you live in Florida. But here we are.
Speaker 3: Let's pretend like there's four different seasons and sometimes life
Speaker 3: is impacted by those things. We've written episodes about that
Speaker 3: how to save money in the fall may look different
Speaker 3: than how to save money in the winter versus the summer.
Speaker 3: But then as individuals recognizing that we are not static creatures.
Speaker 3: We in and of ourselves are not constant, but dynamic.
Speaker 3: Things are shifting and changing inside of us and the
Speaker 3: world around us, that we are impacting and being impacted.
Speaker 3: So this idea that we can make things happen and
Speaker 3: then sometimes things happen to us, and being able to
Speaker 3: recognize what those things are or the quote unquote season
Speaker 3: that we're in, is very vital to being able to
Speaker 3: navigate our finance as well and in beneficial ways. It's
Speaker 3: almost like going outside and being able to recognize the season.
Speaker 3: It's important for just what we wear, what we put
Speaker 3: on our bodies to go outside in the summer. Not
Speaker 3: recognizing it summer and have my boots, winter coats, scarf
Speaker 3: and hat on would be very silly. Similarly, to not
Speaker 3: recognize that maybe I'm in a season of changes and
Speaker 3: shifts and i don't have as much liquid cash available
Speaker 3: to me, and yet I'm doing yolo over here and
Speaker 3: going on as many vacations as possible, that would be silly.
Speaker 3: So recognizing seasons but also being able to break it
Speaker 3: down in shorter versus longer. So we definitely have some
Speaker 3: of our short seasons, some of our longer seasons. Short
Speaker 3: seasons might be that school school goes every nine months typically,
Speaker 3: or even shorter vacation. Maybe you're on vacation for a
Speaker 3: week or two. That is a very short season of life,
Speaker 3: but it certainly impacts our behaviors around money. Maybe you're moving,
Speaker 3: Maybe you're experiencing a shift in something that's happening in
Speaker 3: life versus your longer seasons. Sometimes we might refer to
Speaker 3: this as having young kids, like the season of life
Speaker 3: of being in the toddler or elementary school age, or
Speaker 3: maybe a season of life where you have aging parents,
Speaker 3: Or to get even more serious about what can happen
Speaker 3: to us through life, maybe there's a divorce happening, whether
Speaker 3: for you or someone very close to you, and you're
Speaker 3: going through that season, which can take years, especially as
Speaker 3: we talk about recovering and navigating the changes that occur
Speaker 3: because of that, or grief and loss. Maybe there's been
Speaker 3: a death close to the family and there's this season
Speaker 3: of grip. All of these things, whether it's circumstantial or
Speaker 3: emotional or relational, these create seasons of life that kind
Speaker 3: of compound and intersect with one another that should bear
Speaker 3: weight then on how we engage with our finances.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think we see this very often. We forget
Speaker 1: to honor our season when we'll see online a story
Speaker 1: of somebody who paid off their debt very fast, or
Speaker 1: we see somebody who's been able to save one hundred
Speaker 1: thousand dollars at a very young age, and we get
Speaker 1: discouraged because we see other people doing these things that
Speaker 1: we want to do. I know, in business, Jill and
Speaker 1: I see our peers who may be growing faster than
Speaker 1: us in different areas, and even with this great podcast
Speaker 1: and community we've built, it's still kind of discouraging to
Speaker 1: see that we're not doing everything as awesome as the podcast,
Speaker 1: that there are other people like growing faster than us.
Speaker 1: And it's really a matter of honoring your season and
Speaker 1: knowing that they may be in a different season than you,
Speaker 1: even if it looks like maybe they're the same, maybe
Speaker 1: they also have young kids, or maybe they're also taking
Speaker 1: vacations while paying off debt or what have you. That
Speaker 1: we don't really know what's going on behind the scenes.
Speaker 1: So instead of comparing ourselves to the stories that we're
Speaker 1: reading on the internet and seeing on Instagram TikTok, that
Speaker 1: we have to do the deeper work of being curious
Speaker 1: with ourselves to really look at what I am capable
Speaker 1: of in the season I'm in. And so all of
Speaker 1: these seasons can even converge. And so you may not
Speaker 1: be able to practice values based spending or grow your
Speaker 1: wealth as quickly as you want to. It may you
Speaker 1: down a little bit. But knowing that that's not a excuse,
Speaker 1: it's not an excuse to not be pursuing it, that
Speaker 1: these seasons are not setbacks. That we realize that, yes,
Speaker 1: we have young kids. I may not be able to
Speaker 1: post to social media three times a day like somebody else,
Speaker 1: and this is where I'm at, but it doesn't mean
Speaker 1: that I can't do what is in my capacity. And
Speaker 1: it's getting curious to figure out what is in my capacity.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I think that you're beginning to highlight this
Speaker 3: next question of why is it so important? How do
Speaker 3: these seasons impact us? And primarily we're speaking from a
Speaker 3: financial perspective, but obviously it's going to impact all parts
Speaker 3: of us. And one of the concepts that has been
Speaker 3: evident to me in considering seasons is something that we
Speaker 3: talk about in the field of social work. It's social
Speaker 3: work one oh one one of the very first things
Speaker 3: that they drill into us as we've pursued that that
Speaker 3: education is person in environment or PIE for short, because
Speaker 3: we need food, motivations, to remember acronyms, and I'm here
Speaker 3: for it. I do like pie. It's good, but stands
Speaker 3: for a person and environment. And so recognizing that we
Speaker 3: also don't exist in a vacuum or kind of alone
Speaker 3: on an island, that we are individuals experiencing our own things,
Speaker 3: having emotional, relational, physical experiences, and we are also in
Speaker 3: an environment, an economic environment, maybe a certain climate, certain
Speaker 3: geographical location, and the converging of these things matters when
Speaker 3: it comes to helpful interventions, resources, tools, supports. They're all
Speaker 3: important to understand what does this mean for my next
Speaker 3: steps forward? So this should absolutely impact then the decisions
Speaker 3: that we make for ourselves. Of course financially, what does
Speaker 3: this mean for my budget? And one of the things
Speaker 3: that we can do here is consider well, what is
Speaker 3: my season within each of these categories, Like my season
Speaker 3: isn't just it's summertime outside? What is my season? Physically?
Speaker 3: Where am I at currently with caring for my body?
Speaker 3: Or maybe did you just have a baby. That's like
Speaker 3: the most easy to relate to understanding of a physical season,
Speaker 3: like are you currently pregnant? Did you just give birth?
Speaker 3: There's a reality to then a physical season of what
Speaker 3: you can or should expect from yourself and your body.
Speaker 3: What's your current emotional season? Are you going through a
Speaker 3: rough patch? Have you found yourself feeling very emotionally or
Speaker 3: relationally depleted? What's the season of relationship with your kids
Speaker 3: or spouse or yourself or you single? What's your current
Speaker 3: spiritual season? How are you feeling in that aspect of
Speaker 3: your personhood, mental? Financial? Has there been a job loss
Speaker 3: or did you have a raise? Not all of our
Speaker 3: seasons are going to be super awful seasons. I think
Speaker 3: it's also important to recognize when there's really phenomenal seasons happening,
Speaker 3: but again to put it in the framework of season,
Speaker 3: because all seasons do come to an end. Sometimes seasons
Speaker 3: last for a year, sometimes multiple years, sometimes just a
Speaker 3: few months, And we also need to recognize when we're
Speaker 3: in a really phenomenal season to be able to take
Speaker 3: advantage of that, recognizing that most likely not to be
Speaker 3: doom and gloom, but there will be a time that
Speaker 3: things are not so amazing, and is there something that
Speaker 3: I could be doing now to prepare myself to be
Speaker 3: ready for the possibility of something not going that great,
Speaker 3: maybe even outside of our control, whether it's inflation, or
Speaker 3: the economy, tanks or the housing market isn't what it
Speaker 3: used to be. Heyo, have we ever been there before?
Speaker 3: So recognizing or even preparing for Oh, I want to
Speaker 3: make some changes in my career, So how can I
Speaker 3: leverage my current season to make that transition more smooth
Speaker 3: for myself? So all of this as examples of why
Speaker 3: it's important to know where we are. Identify where we
Speaker 3: are because that's going to inform what we then do
Speaker 3: currently and prepare ourselves for what's next.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we also have to be honest and realistic about
Speaker 1: the past, present, and future. So recognizing that past seasons
Speaker 1: will have impact on us, especially if they are seasons
Speaker 1: where we were not fully aware of who we were,
Speaker 1: what we wanted, or they were seasons that happened to us,
Speaker 1: and so those will all have bearing on what you
Speaker 1: were doing now. They should not control you. You have
Speaker 1: control over where you are now, but that doesn't mean
Speaker 1: that your past seasons are not impacting you. I think
Speaker 1: sometimes when we talk about growth mindset, and personal finance.
Speaker 1: We take a lot of this. I have control over everything.
Speaker 1: I have the ability to increase my wealth, all this
Speaker 1: like growth stuff, and sometimes that can result in some
Speaker 1: shame when past things that have happened to us or
Speaker 1: current things happen to us, and we think, why am
Speaker 1: I not being able to have control? Like it's a
Speaker 1: really helpless feeling. But just because you have this mindset
Speaker 1: of growth, or we like to call it curiosity, just
Speaker 1: because that's your mindset doesn't mean that life will not
Speaker 1: happen to you. If you are living, life will happen
Speaker 1: to you. Things out of your control will happen to you. Again,
Speaker 1: you can have control in some of those things. Even
Speaker 1: if you can't control all of it. You can control
Speaker 1: some things. And some of that is a fight or
Speaker 1: flight control. If it is super fresh, then you're gonna
Speaker 1: be in fight or flight. And that's not wrong, that's
Speaker 1: not bad, like you need that, but it is kind
Speaker 1: of embracing that season and knowing this is where I'm at.
Speaker 1: I understand that I cannot make long term decisions right
Speaker 1: now because this is where I'm at. I got to
Speaker 1: give myself so much time and then reevaluate. Then rethink
Speaker 1: making long term decisions or even short term decisions, So
Speaker 1: being realistic about past seasons, present seasons, and then kind
Speaker 1: of like what Jill was saying, with future seasons, knowing
Speaker 1: that if stuff's bad right now, it's gonna get better
Speaker 1: in the future, and living in that hope and thinking
Speaker 1: about I know that's it's for somebody to say, but
Speaker 1: living in that, and then also knowing if things are
Speaker 1: really great, that they're not going to stay great forever.
Speaker 1: And just because there's something that happens that I don't
Speaker 1: know maybe makes things quote unquote less great or even
Speaker 1: can be traumatic, that you will come out of that too,
Speaker 1: and to be preparing now for anything, but not living
Speaker 1: in the I can sometimes live in that like, oh,
Speaker 1: things are so great, bad things are bound to happen
Speaker 1: because everything is so great now. So you don't want
Speaker 1: to live in that unhealthy mindset. Catch yourself and be like, hey,
Speaker 1: I am so blessed right now and really embrace that moment.
Speaker 1: Use it as a way to embrace that moment and say,
Speaker 1: how can I preserve this when life happens to me?
Speaker 1: How can I keep this a little bit of this
Speaker 1: in the ups and downs of life.
Speaker 3: I think throughout all of this, it's so important to
Speaker 3: also keep a pulse on in our emotional mental state
Speaker 3: as we're going through this, because we can't just be
Speaker 3: people of action. I think that there's a lot of
Speaker 3: messaging out there of just do this, this and that,
Speaker 3: and there isn't this person and environment perspective to say, well,
Speaker 3: there could be emotions that are barriers to being able
Speaker 3: to do this, this or that, or we need to
Speaker 3: be able to have time to heal from a past
Speaker 3: season before we can be ready to have some level
Speaker 3: of implementation now. And so I think also recognizing that
Speaker 3: that's going to be a part of this entire journey
Speaker 3: is recognizing where even especially guilt and shame might be present,
Speaker 3: how that's impacting the way that you're feeling about your
Speaker 3: current seasons, or maybe the season you've just stepped out of,
Speaker 3: or the season you want to be entering into managing
Speaker 3: those emotions, receiving the support that you need, because we
Speaker 3: aren't going to be able to go very far in
Speaker 3: this endeavor of honoring our seasons if we're being so
Speaker 3: weighed down by non beneficial emotions that keep us from
Speaker 3: making these actions that are aimed at well being for
Speaker 3: us financially or otherwise. So that's kind of an overarching
Speaker 3: theme that we need to be cognizant of and for me,
Speaker 3: just for both of us, Jen and I to highlight
Speaker 3: that that's a massive component to financial behaviors is how
Speaker 3: we're feeling about it, our mental state, our emotional state,
Speaker 3: what's happening for us relationally. So it's a fantastic place
Speaker 3: to start when we kind of move into this question
Speaker 3: of how do we even know what season we're in?
Speaker 3: Of recognizing that there can be a various types of
Speaker 3: emotions surrounding our seasons and dealing with or addressing those
Speaker 3: and responding to those first and foremost is going to
Speaker 3: be crucial to actually being able to have some successful implementation.
Speaker 3: So how do we know what season we're in? And,
Speaker 3: as Jen said, I think it is first we have
Speaker 3: to be curious, like we're asking that question. So it
Speaker 3: lends itself to this curious George type approach of we've
Speaker 3: got to ask ourselves that question and here's a phenomenal
Speaker 3: template of past, present, and future that we can be
Speaker 3: curious first about what has just happened to me? Is
Speaker 3: there a season that I recently came out of? Or
Speaker 3: is the past kind of still defining the season that
Speaker 3: I'm in, But it does include a looking back, where
Speaker 3: am I coming from? Where have I just traveled out of?
Speaker 3: Or what's just behind me? What's happened to me? And
Speaker 3: this is another one of those social worky questions where
Speaker 3: we want to look at what's happen to me versus
Speaker 3: what's wrong with me? And that's of course a great
Speaker 3: approach with other people as well, not what's wrong with you,
Speaker 3: but hey, what's happened to you? It creates space for
Speaker 3: much less guilt and shame when we can ask ourselves
Speaker 3: that question. And with each of these past, present, and future,
Speaker 3: we want to look at our whole personhood again, physical, spiritual, emotional, relational, financial,
Speaker 3: And then we can throw in some other categories of context, environment, economy, location,
Speaker 3: Where are you? What has that looked like? In each
Speaker 3: one of those categories? How would you define what the
Speaker 3: past has looked like?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I want to make a note too, is that
Speaker 1: just because we're asking what happened to me or we're
Speaker 1: talking about things out of our control, doesn't automatically equate
Speaker 1: to having a victim mentality. So I think some people
Speaker 1: might be scared that. I want to say that every
Speaker 1: things in my control because I don't want to be
Speaker 1: a victim. I'm not a victim being curious about what
Speaker 1: has happened to you or where you're at how you
Speaker 1: got there. Again, we want to if you listened to
Speaker 1: our how to cultivate a frugal mindset, you know that
Speaker 1: we avoid asking why questions like why am I like this?
Speaker 1: Why do I do this? Stuff like that, But we
Speaker 1: we want to use the other w's, what where when?
Speaker 1: Questions like that. And if you're curious about your contacts,
Speaker 1: then you're looking at triggers, habits, actions, and you're still
Speaker 1: looking for what you have control over in the situation,
Speaker 1: versus just automatically putting it on other people. So I
Speaker 1: want to like just mention that differentiation, especially when we're
Speaker 1: talking about the past, but it can come up a
Speaker 1: lot when we talk about the present too, So we
Speaker 1: mean consider some of the obvious parts of our present season. So,
Speaker 1: homeowner or rental, the financial advice that you take as
Speaker 1: a homeowner is different as a renter. It's different if
Speaker 1: you're a renter who wants to stay renting or a
Speaker 1: renter who wants to own a home. It's different for
Speaker 1: a homeowner who wants to continue to pay their mortgage
Speaker 1: or pay their mortgage off fast. All of those situations
Speaker 1: are good, none of them are bad. They will all
Speaker 1: accept different financial advice. Right, So it's different if you're
Speaker 1: married or single, kids, no kids, younger kids, older kids.
Speaker 1: What are your responsibilities? Are you taking care of aging parents?
Speaker 1: And I think a lot of us need to be
Speaker 1: looking at that more than we are, because we are
Speaker 1: all coming to the point where we're going to need
Speaker 1: to start thinking about our parents' age, even if they're
Speaker 1: not there yet, and talking to our parents of what
Speaker 1: have you set up financially to prepare yourself for this period?
Speaker 1: And then also, oh you have if you haven't prepared anything,
Speaker 1: what do I need to be prepared and what do
Speaker 1: I need to be talking about with my siblings stuff
Speaker 1: like that. So that goes into future, but right now,
Speaker 1: if you're caring for any family, aging parents, stuff like that,
Speaker 1: and then other just life circumstances, that's where these short
Speaker 1: seasons come into play. So you're back to school season,
Speaker 1: your summer, your Christmas season or that Christmas season comes
Speaker 1: around every single year. Every way you do your fine right.
Speaker 1: The way you do your finances in the spring can
Speaker 1: look different than around the holidays. I know a lot
Speaker 1: of people trying to like get their money right, pay
Speaker 1: off their debt can feel guilt when in the fall
Speaker 1: they were doing really well and then the holidays come
Speaker 1: and everything is quote unquote out the window. They feel
Speaker 1: like they've regressed. Right, in reality, that's a different season
Speaker 1: that you can live differently in. You obviously don't have
Speaker 1: to if the holidays really aren't your thing, But if
Speaker 1: they are your thing, living in that season and embracing
Speaker 1: that and spending your money differently is not regressing. It's
Speaker 1: not failing or you know, life just throwing you a
Speaker 1: curveball and you got to get back on the wagon.
Speaker 1: Plan for this, plan for these seasons. So that's what
Speaker 1: we look for when we're looking at how do our
Speaker 1: present seasons? How do we know what season we're in
Speaker 1: the present, and how does that affect how we're going
Speaker 1: to spend money.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I think sometimes our present season can be
Speaker 3: defined by what the future season is going to be.
Speaker 3: This is kind of honoring your season two h one,
Speaker 3: but we can include future. We can be asking ourselves
Speaker 3: along with these other questions, what do I know of
Speaker 3: each of these categories? For what the future? Even just
Speaker 3: immediate future. We can be overachievers and talk about five
Speaker 3: ten years down the road, but also just look at
Speaker 3: the obvious. Yes, what is fall coming up? Is winter
Speaker 3: coming up? Is Christmas coming? Most likely? Yes? At some
Speaker 3: point it's just around the corner. And are there things
Speaker 3: that might be impacting present season because of what's to come?
Speaker 3: We can also include goals. Do we know that retirement
Speaker 3: is coming? Yes? We do. Do we know that we
Speaker 3: want to be changing some things with our career? Do
Speaker 3: we know that we're about to wrap up our schooling?
Speaker 3: Whatever it is? What do I know is right in
Speaker 3: front of me over the next couple of months or year?
Speaker 3: How is that currently impacting me now? And are there
Speaker 3: things that I can be doing to incorporate for what's next?
Speaker 3: And again, as we're asking all of these questions, we
Speaker 3: are also keeping a pulse on our emotions around money.
Speaker 3: How each of these seasons have impacted us, again, emotionally
Speaker 3: and relationally, because that is profoundly important, especially if the
Speaker 3: season has been a difficult one. Have you struggled to
Speaker 3: pay off debt in the way that you have wanted to.
Speaker 3: Have you experienced a death in the family, Have you
Speaker 3: experienced a divorce or a breakup, or having some really
Speaker 3: difficult relational dynamics with people that have been close to you,
Speaker 3: all of these things and when we say honor it,
Speaker 3: we're going to get to this of Okay, what does
Speaker 3: this mean? But it first and foremost means recognizing it
Speaker 3: as bearing weight on your ability to take beneficial action.
Speaker 3: We cannot expect one hundred percent out of ourselves when
Speaker 3: a lot of our emotional relational capacities are going to
Speaker 3: difficult things. We just don't have as much resource inside
Speaker 3: of us when we're being depleted by other really heavy,
Speaker 3: overbearing things, and that needs to be recognized. It's not
Speaker 3: recognized by social media when all these people are just
Speaker 3: spouting off all of their tasks that they have accomplished.
Speaker 3: But in reality, we are dynamic people, we are whole people,
Speaker 3: and these things bear weight on one another, sometimes meaning
Speaker 3: that we need to give ourselves permission to slow down
Speaker 3: and sometimes permission to speed up. But it's not always
Speaker 3: going to look the same depending on what's happening in
Speaker 3: our lives. So that does lead to the next question
Speaker 3: of what do we do about it? What do we
Speaker 3: do about the fact that now I know what season
Speaker 3: have been and how I've been impacted.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so once you figure out the season that you're in, past, present, future,
Speaker 1: and I think you can do this on a sheet
Speaker 1: of paper, right, I would probably take pen to paper
Speaker 1: to do something like this because it's just three questions, right,
Speaker 1: like what season did I just come out of? What
Speaker 1: season am I currently in? And where do I want
Speaker 1: to be in the future slash what do I know
Speaker 1: is coming that's going to affect my spending? Obviously, this
Speaker 1: exercise can affect a lot of things. We're looking cifically
Speaker 1: at spending because that's what we talk about mostly. So
Speaker 1: of course, after you've identified your season, you want to
Speaker 1: revisit your ninety day spending inventory. So we did that
Speaker 1: when we had our step by step guide to Values
Speaker 1: based Spending, we talked about taking a ninety day transaction
Speaker 1: inventory where you're not starting. A lot of things will
Speaker 1: have you start or methods will have you start tracking
Speaker 1: your current spending. We want you before you start changing
Speaker 1: anything in the present, we want you to look at
Speaker 1: the past ninety days so that you can start to
Speaker 1: identify your spending triggers. And so now that you have
Speaker 1: this perspective of season, going back and looking at those triggers,
Speaker 1: and there are probably going to be some that are
Speaker 1: unique to the last ninety days that maybe you didn't
Speaker 1: have that trigger before, or maybe you're not feeling it
Speaker 1: now and it's an easy one to get up. Or
Speaker 1: you might learn some new things about your spending with
Speaker 1: this new perspective of like curiosity and season. So going
Speaker 1: through that and looking at your current spending patterns are
Speaker 1: going to give you a little bit more insight. And
Speaker 1: then consider your money goals short term and long term.
Speaker 1: We want to prioritize these goals, but first we want
Speaker 1: to write them all down. So again you can even
Speaker 1: do this on the same piece of paper that you
Speaker 1: did that past Present Future exercise on and look at
Speaker 1: them and say, Okay, these are my short term financial goals,
Speaker 1: my short term spending goals, and these are my long
Speaker 1: term financial goals. And I don't know if you'll have
Speaker 1: long term spending goals, maybe spend more money on vacations
Speaker 1: or travel, but definitely you'll have short term spending goals
Speaker 1: and then short and long term financial goals. And so
Speaker 1: write them down and with the perspect of your season.
Speaker 1: So if you're if you've got young kids and you've
Speaker 1: chosen to have one parent stay at home with those
Speaker 1: kids and one parent working, you may not be able
Speaker 1: to pay off one hundred thousand dollars a debt in
Speaker 1: one year. That may not be your story like it
Speaker 1: is for somebody else who are dual income no kids. Obviously,
Speaker 1: that is an extreme, an exaggerated example. But just look
Speaker 1: at these goals with a new lens of season, so
Speaker 1: that you can prioritize correctly. Like maybe a goal that
Speaker 1: you wanted to do first is not as easily accomplished
Speaker 1: right now, it might be more easily accomplished down the road.
Speaker 1: That doesn't mean you don't accomplish any financial goals right now.
Speaker 1: It means you choose another that's better suited for the season. This,
Speaker 1: all of this talk about season and embracing where you're at,
Speaker 1: it just means that we're choosing goals and actions that
Speaker 1: are appropriate so that we don't get discouraged by failing
Speaker 1: quote unquote failing ourselves. We are avoiding that guilt and
Speaker 1: shame cycle of choosing other people's financial goals in the
Speaker 1: years that they say we should achieve them. And we're
Speaker 1: choosing our own financial goals in the season that we
Speaker 1: are in, and we are choosing when and how we
Speaker 1: pursue them.
Speaker 3: Yes, because all of this helps in the narrative and
Speaker 3: story that we tell ourselves about these things. Knowing, having
Speaker 3: full knowledge and a good grasp on our season and
Speaker 3: intentionality around the decisions we're making in light of our
Speaker 3: season is what's going to help us. Whether the storms
Speaker 3: of basically social media or that comparison trap that can
Speaker 3: happen to know, Oh, that's really cool for them, here's
Speaker 3: why it's not looking that way for me, or that's
Speaker 3: not my goal, And man does that produce such a
Speaker 3: competence and and empowerment. But to get back to these
Speaker 3: steps about what do we do about knowing our season?
Speaker 3: I think the next step after considering our money goals
Speaker 3: is looking at then the spending plan. So this is
Speaker 3: where we're bringing it down into even a shorter amount
Speaker 3: of time that we're engaging with. Our spending plan should
Speaker 3: be happening every month, so our money goals might be monthly, yearly,
Speaker 3: or even further beyond than that. When we're talking short
Speaker 3: term and long term, and then we're comparing those goals
Speaker 3: with well, what is our spending looking like, and how
Speaker 3: are we planning for our spending? What reasonably can we
Speaker 3: be contributing to these various money goals or our current
Speaker 3: spending that we feel good about that's aligned with our values,
Speaker 3: which then leads into the next steps. And once we've
Speaker 3: got all of this down, we've got our ninety day
Speaker 3: spending tracked, we've considered our short and long term spending goals.
Speaker 3: We've then compared that to our spending plan. This is
Speaker 3: the most complicated step, but it is bringing it all
Speaker 3: into realistic alignment. This is where we need some of
Speaker 3: that thinking, putting our brains to work, where we're synthesizing,
Speaker 3: we're meaning making, we are making it really individualized to us.
Speaker 3: Sometimes this is going to mean we've got to talk
Speaker 3: with our spouse or partner or close friends. We need
Speaker 3: some expert opinions of your meeting with a mental health
Speaker 3: professional even talk with them about it. This is where
Speaker 3: we can bring some of these trusted voices into play
Speaker 3: as we create some realistic alignment for ourselves. That can
Speaker 3: then create that confidence that we've talked about of Okay,
Speaker 3: maybe some of these money goals aren't realistic for me
Speaker 3: right now, or I'm going to need to push this
Speaker 3: off seven years instead of five years. But ooh, I
Speaker 3: can ramp up on this goal because that makes sense
Speaker 3: for me in this timing where I currently am, where
Speaker 3: I've come from, and where I want to be going.
Speaker 3: This synthesized synthetization, my making up words or I'm just
Speaker 3: not saying the word right synthesization. This is something sounds
Speaker 3: weird when it comes out of my mouth. But bringing
Speaker 3: it all into alignment, and unfortunately we can't give you
Speaker 3: the exact blueprint on that. This needs to be your
Speaker 3: own ownership of honoring your season. What does that look
Speaker 3: like when you now have a good grasp of where
Speaker 3: you're currently at, what your money looks like, what you
Speaker 3: want to do with it, and your own values.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and this is this is this part in your
Speaker 1: financial money management, values based spending journey where you can
Speaker 1: start to look at different schools of thought on paying
Speaker 1: off debt, spending money investing. It's good to hear from
Speaker 1: different voices so that you can figure out what's right
Speaker 1: for you. And you're not here during the same voice
Speaker 1: or voices that are all saying the same thing. At first,
Speaker 1: you can definitely just choose one voice to listen to,
Speaker 1: but once you get a feeling for what season you're in,
Speaker 1: you can expand and see like, Okay, this person is
Speaker 1: saying this, but they're assuming they're saying it to this
Speaker 1: type of person and that's not me. So let me
Speaker 1: see what this person has to say about it, and
Speaker 1: do I agree. You don't have to agree one hundred
Speaker 1: percent with what everybody says to be growing your net worth,
Speaker 1: to be growing in the right direction with your money,
Speaker 1: you don't have to be following anybody's plan one hundred
Speaker 1: percent to be successful. And so that's kind of what
Speaker 1: bringing it all into realistic alignment is. Like, maybe you're
Speaker 1: following the debt snowball for a few months and then
Speaker 1: you pay off something and then you switch to the
Speaker 1: avalanche for a different debt. Maybe it's you are focusing
Speaker 1: on investing for a few months because you have the
Speaker 1: opportunity to max out a roth IRA before the deadline.
Speaker 1: Maybe you're switching to say for a house because you've
Speaker 1: come into a windfall. Like there are all these different examples.
Speaker 1: We could never share them all, but I think the
Speaker 1: important thing is to realize that you can do things
Speaker 1: whatever way you want. Don't want to create a month
Speaker 1: spending plan, create one paycheck to paycheck or one every
Speaker 1: two weeks. You can do things however you want, at
Speaker 1: the pace that you want. You can have it your way.
Speaker 3: Knowing your season helps you to plan realistically, because we
Speaker 3: all know that you can't afford every way to meet
Speaker 3: a value at every time, and especially not all at once.
Speaker 3: That you'll have to say no to some things, and
Speaker 3: knowing when to say no and when to say yes
Speaker 3: are essential, and it is intricately connected to your season.
Speaker 3: So honor that season. And you know what else we
Speaker 3: like to honor, and we always know the right timing.
Speaker 1: It's always the season for it.
Speaker 4: The bill of the week, that's right, it's time for
Speaker 4: the best minute of your entire week. Maybe a baby
Speaker 4: was born and his name is Williams.
Speaker 2: Maybe you've paid off your mortgage, maybe your car died
Speaker 2: and you're happy to not have to pay that bill anymore.
Speaker 4: Duck bills, Buffalo bills, Bill Clinton, this is the bill
Speaker 4: of the week.
Speaker 5: Hey, Jen and Joe, my name is Lauren, and my
Speaker 5: bill of the week this week is a actual duck bill.
Speaker 5: So my husband and I spent about three years getting
Speaker 5: our finances is an order in particular thanks to y'all,
Speaker 5: and we're able to finally purchase a home that's large
Speaker 5: enough for us to have a backyard poultry flock, and
Speaker 5: so we now have chickens and ducks.
Speaker 1: So thank y'all so much.
Speaker 5: And that's my bill of the week, an actual bill
Speaker 5: of a duck named Wattles.
Speaker 3: Wattles wattle at a wattle lotta wattle. I love this.
Speaker 1: I am shook, Lauren. I'm so thankful that you shared
Speaker 1: this duck bill with us and that we played a
Speaker 1: small part in bringing Wattles journey to you.
Speaker 3: I love the creativity here because people are really understanding
Speaker 3: the assignment these days, that it's truly about you making
Speaker 3: big financial moves to be able to afford a house
Speaker 3: that can include your love of chicken and ducks and
Speaker 3: space to roam. And it all sounds beautiful and aligned
Speaker 3: with your values. But your bill is Waddles, the duck
Speaker 3: who lives on your property. I love that. I love
Speaker 3: every part of that, Lauren. And congratulations on your house
Speaker 3: and your duck and your strong ability to name your duck.
Speaker 3: If you all listening, have bought a house, but more importantly,
Speaker 3: you've got animals on that property that represent your bills,
Speaker 3: or you happen to name your animals Bill, or you
Speaker 3: are Bill naming animals. Visit Frugal Friends podcast dot com
Speaker 3: slash Bill give it to us. We know now more
Speaker 3: than ever you understand this segment, and now it's time
Speaker 3: for then.
Speaker 1: All right, wow, we are going to share with you actual, current,
Speaker 1: real life examples of our seasons in the vulnerability round.
Speaker 1: So it's so vulnerable, I know, right, So, how would
Speaker 1: you describe your current season and how have you aligned
Speaker 1: your money goals with it? Jill, would you like to
Speaker 1: go first?
Speaker 3: Okay, I kind of took this as a define your
Speaker 3: current season in one sentence or less, and then how
Speaker 3: are you? So here you go in a succinct way.
Speaker 3: I am a married homeowner with no kids. I will
Speaker 3: add post renovation. That's recognizing the season. I'm just coming
Speaker 3: out of making shifts in my career, recognizing what's coming
Speaker 3: in the future, and it's impacting the present. So as
Speaker 3: a result of this, currently and intentionally, with full knowledge
Speaker 3: and grasp of this season, we are making making less
Speaker 3: money now than we have previously and that's an active
Speaker 3: choice so that I can have more flexible and enjoyable
Speaker 3: work in the future. But it really is leveraging this
Speaker 3: curren season. It's a choice I'm making now post renovation
Speaker 3: because I'm not hemorrhaging cash on getting appliances from my household.
Speaker 3: I wouldn't have been able to make this career shift
Speaker 3: six months ago. Only now can I do this because
Speaker 3: now money can be freed up or I don't need
Speaker 3: as much liquid cash available to me. So it's an
Speaker 3: interesting thing to be at a stage of adulthood where
Speaker 3: I am actively saying, sure, I'll make less money, but
Speaker 3: it's something I'm choosing. Thankfully, it's not something that has
Speaker 3: happened to me, and my goodness if this just isn't
Speaker 3: the culment nation of values based spending and living a
Speaker 3: frugal life, because sometimes we make those choices because we
Speaker 3: want more freedom and flexibility, or we want to lean
Speaker 3: into an aspect of our work and personhood that is
Speaker 3: joy giving and not depleting. And so that's where I'm
Speaker 3: at right now, of course, with the hope that in
Speaker 3: the future it will eventually make more money for me,
Speaker 3: but currently actively making a choice to make less which
Speaker 3: if you want even more vulnerability, is meaning that probably
Speaker 3: for this year, we will not be maxing out our wroth.
Speaker 3: Ira take a deep breath. I know we tell everybody
Speaker 3: that you should absolutely do this, and yes, if you can,
Speaker 3: you should. This year, I don't think it's going to
Speaker 3: be possible. I don't want to stay in that place forever,
Speaker 3: so I'm going to have to keep a pulse on that.
Speaker 3: But it's also me Honoring my season means giving myself
Speaker 3: permission to not completely go to the fullest extent that
Speaker 3: I might want to with retirement savings. I'm still going
Speaker 3: to be contributing some. I just don't think this year
Speaker 3: we're going to be able to max it out, and
Speaker 3: that's a choice I'm making for more enjoyable, flexible work
Speaker 3: in the future.
Speaker 1: What about you, Jen similar spot Well. I am a
Speaker 1: married homeowner with a preschooler and baby amidst an entire
Speaker 1: home renovation and having made shifts in both of our
Speaker 1: careers that have lowered both of our incomes. We are
Speaker 1: in a season where we have bitten off more than
Speaker 1: we can chew more than I.
Speaker 3: Can for the sign up for the friend letter right
Speaker 3: for who Friend's Pocket a second letter.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I mean in total honesty, it is a
Speaker 1: mistakes were made.
Speaker 3: Hey, And how does that impact your emotions and how
Speaker 3: does that impact your current season?
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I am in I mean not getting as
Speaker 1: much sleep as I should. And I am a person
Speaker 1: and who hates a cluttered house. I thrive in a
Speaker 1: very minimalist environment. And everything is everywhere all the time,
Speaker 1: and from like construction materials to tools to kids' toys.
Speaker 1: So it's like it's an intense season for me right now.
Speaker 1: We came out of we bought this house a year
Speaker 1: and a half ago almost, and we are I mean
Speaker 1: prior to that for five years, loved my home, no
Speaker 1: renovations needed. Was very like calm, tranquil space for me.
Speaker 1: And I know that this is not a season that
Speaker 1: will we will be in forever. The house is it's
Speaker 1: like three quarters done, so I'm being told the end
Speaker 1: is in sight. We'll see.
Speaker 3: I don't know, it won't last forever.
Speaker 1: But that for us means so with the job switches.
Speaker 1: So Jill and I are both doing the podcast full
Speaker 1: time now, which has meant and you know, all of
Speaker 1: the money that we make of Rgal Friends is split
Speaker 1: fifty to fifty, you know, for two people, So it
Speaker 1: would be a great income for one person, but there's
Speaker 1: two of us, so it's it's like frozen cons to partnership.
Speaker 1: It's beautiful. I love it. And then my husband just
Speaker 1: took a job where he has a fantastic schedule now
Speaker 1: versus being called in to work at two am, like
Speaker 1: several times a week. But it's a pay cut because
Speaker 1: of that. And so we are also not maxing out
Speaker 1: our retirement for the first time since twenty seventeen. So
Speaker 1: that's been a choice. You know, that was hard for
Speaker 1: me to make, but thankfully we are so far along
Speaker 1: that even if we take a couple of years off,
Speaker 1: we're still on track for retirement. So it's still very
Speaker 1: hard decision. And then just kind of being kind to
Speaker 1: myself in not wanting to be at home as much.
Speaker 1: I got a gym membership at another gym that's like
Speaker 1: twenty bucks a month, and it's probably the best twenty
Speaker 1: bucks a month I spend because I can work out
Speaker 1: in air conditioning outside of my home and just be
Speaker 1: there if I want to be there, just languish there
Speaker 1: for a little longer than I should. But yeah, it's
Speaker 1: an intense season right now, and I'm very much looking
Speaker 1: forward to when the intensity softens. In the midst of this,
Speaker 1: we have to like write an entire book, right So
Speaker 1: it's fighting off more than you can chew? Is I
Speaker 1: think the best definition of the season that I'm in,
Speaker 1: But yeah, I think so the greatest. I think what's
Speaker 1: saving us is kind of cutting our investing in half.
Speaker 1: And we are able to do that because our spending
Speaker 1: is We're in control of our spending.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think this is where it is a
Speaker 3: great example of where prioritization comes into place. Like, here's
Speaker 3: all of the reality. So I can't do all of
Speaker 3: the things. I hope to not stay here for long,
Speaker 3: And the best way to not stay here for long
Speaker 3: is to incorporate as many kindnesses as possible right now
Speaker 3: so that you can move into a different season that
Speaker 3: frees up more margin.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And it doesn't mean that just because I'm overwhelmed
Speaker 1: doesn't mean I'm not making movement. I'm just making movement
Speaker 1: in different ways. So I think training for this half
Speaker 1: marathon that's happening in November has been my way of
Speaker 1: forcing myself to move my body, and that's really all
Speaker 1: I can that's all I can manage right now, is
Speaker 1: that's my priority. That's my goal is taking care of
Speaker 1: me because I also have to take care of so
Speaker 1: many other people that I need to focus on me
Speaker 1: more than my financial goals right now. And I guess
Speaker 1: this house is kind of a financial goal. It is
Speaker 1: half of it is an investment property which we have
Speaker 1: rented out and is bringing an income. But yeah, man,
Speaker 1: it's tough, tough time. But thank you so much for listening.
Speaker 1: I hope that this episode has encouraged you. If you're
Speaker 1: feeling quote unquote behind or like life just keeps messing
Speaker 1: up your plans, that you are encouraged that you know
Speaker 1: life happens. Life cannot mess up your plans. Life only
Speaker 1: alters them so that you are able to pivot in
Speaker 1: a way that.
Speaker 3: Works for you.
Speaker 1: And we love reading your kind reviews, especially when they
Speaker 1: are five stars. I like this one from MMJJ Painter,
Speaker 1: who says love Jen and Jill. I listen to a
Speaker 1: lot of podcasts and this is in my top three.
Speaker 1: I love the camaraderie between Jen and Jill and it
Speaker 1: spills over to the audience. I feel like I'm a
Speaker 1: frugal friend too.
Speaker 2: You are.
Speaker 1: Yes, you definitely are.
Speaker 3: That's one of my favorite meant to read is when
Speaker 3: people say I feel like a frugal friend, because me too.
Speaker 3: I am envisioning you all as I'm talking, because I'm
Speaker 3: talking to Jen and I'm also talking to you and
Speaker 3: with you and laughing with you.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I love that. I'm so glad you feel that way
Speaker 3: because we feel that way. So thank you for listening.
Speaker 3: And if the rest of you who are listening enjoyed
Speaker 3: this show, please take a minute to review and rate us,
Speaker 3: just like M. MJ. Painter did. It really does help
Speaker 3: other people find the show. It helps us create more
Speaker 3: frugal friends, find them and engage with them and do
Speaker 3: fun things together.
Speaker 1: Yes, and we will see you next time in whatever
Speaker 1: season you may be in. He Frugal Friends is produced
Speaker 1: by Eric Siriani. All right, Jill, we have to talk
Speaker 1: about this, Okay. I am in the season of my
Speaker 1: life where I got lasick yesterday and you drove me
Speaker 1: to and from my surgery and everyone's like, well, if
Speaker 1: you can't invest, why are you spending so much money
Speaker 1: on lasik? Well I'll tell you why.
Speaker 3: Who's asking you that?
Speaker 1: The person who just got that in their head. I
Speaker 1: see you. I took part of our book advance I
Speaker 1: had made in May when we got our deal, our
Speaker 1: book deal. I said, if the deal is above this number,
Speaker 1: then I'm going to take part of my advance and
Speaker 1: get Lasik as a celebration, Like that's how I'm going
Speaker 1: to celebrate this book deal.
Speaker 3: How long have you been wanting Lasick for?
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, ten years?
Speaker 3: Oh wow, I didn't realize that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like ten years, and my eyes have been the
Speaker 1: same like prescription for like that whole time. It's just
Speaker 1: like I couldn't justify the cost.
Speaker 3: And it sounds like you've been wanting Lasik more than
Speaker 3: and for longer than you've been wanting Carabas's that's saying
Speaker 3: a lot.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, I can say without a doubt that I've wanted
Speaker 1: Lasik more than Carabas for a long time.
Speaker 3: But now that you have Lask, you can just chow
Speaker 3: down on some Carabas.
Speaker 1: Yes, I know. Right today, the day that this comes
Speaker 1: out is actually my eighth wedding anniversary, and.
Speaker 3: At the anniversary, thank you.
Speaker 1: I hope that Travis takes me to Carabas. You know.
Speaker 1: I can only hope and I'll be able to see,
Speaker 1: But I'm just gonna say, like, I can see without
Speaker 1: my contacts or glasses, and I was almost legally blind.
Speaker 1: I had a negative six point two five contact, So
Speaker 1: I don't know the people who wear contacts will will
Speaker 1: be familiar with what that means. But could not see
Speaker 1: a foot past a foot in front of my face
Speaker 1: when they told me. They told me to take off
Speaker 1: my glasses to lay down on the table to have
Speaker 1: the surgery, and I took them off, and as soon
Speaker 1: as I took them off, I was like, I'm sure
Speaker 1: you get this a lot, but like, I can't see anything,
Speaker 1: so can you help me on the table? Because I
Speaker 1: had to like walk over there and I couldn't see it.
Speaker 1: So it was literally fifteen minutes and I sat up
Speaker 1: and I could see words like.
Speaker 3: On the wall instantly. Oh so wild. One of the
Speaker 3: most wild procedures I think out there. However, you still
Speaker 3: did have a moment where when I drove you home,
Speaker 3: you didn't know the direction of your house. They did
Speaker 3: have to lead you through that.
Speaker 1: Okay, here's the thing. As soon as you have the procedure,
Speaker 1: like you're supposed to have your eyes closed for the
Speaker 1: next three hours. And I was closing my eyes. So
Speaker 1: she pulls. She backs in, Yeah, likeway like a boss
Speaker 1: back and in. But I'm a normal person and I
Speaker 1: pull into my driveway. And so I get out, thinking
Speaker 1: this person is normal and has pulled into my driveway.
Speaker 1: And she forgot that I was a boss.
Speaker 3: I did.
Speaker 1: I forgot you were a boss. And I was walking
Speaker 1: away from my house and Jill thought this was the
Speaker 1: funniest thing.
Speaker 3: Meanwhile, I thought I was being kind, thinking I'm going
Speaker 3: to back in so that because where your front door
Speaker 3: is would be on the side of the passenger door
Speaker 3: of the car, so that you wouldn't have to walk
Speaker 3: around the car. I thought that your body would have
Speaker 3: felt the reality that we went in reverse when I
Speaker 3: was driving you home, and that just wasn't the case.
Speaker 1: I was on a dose of TILE and l PM
Speaker 1: and and my eyes were like swollen shut.
Speaker 3: So no, again, there's no problem with it. It was
Speaker 3: my favorite part, is what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: I couldn't even open my eyes to put the code
Speaker 1: into my door. I had to like tell you what
Speaker 1: it is. I yeah, I couldn't open my eyes. But
Speaker 1: then I woke up like five hours later from my nap,
Speaker 1: and like I'm I'm seeing like I had contacts in
Speaker 1: and I went in for a post top this morning
Speaker 1: and I have twenty fifteen vision after being blind yesterday,
Speaker 1: I have twenty fifteen vision today.
Speaker 3: Just a new money, a new season you're in. Now,
Speaker 3: you're in the season where you can see.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I've never spent money more in alignment with my
Speaker 1: values ever, not even in Corromos.
Speaker 3: Well done, Happy aunniversary, Thank you,