1 00:00:00,360 --> 00:00:03,440 Speaker 1: Hey guys, Bobby here, Glad you're checking out the feed. 2 00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:06,040 Speaker 1: Even though the show wasn't live this morning, still wanted 3 00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:08,879 Speaker 1: to give you something new and recommend a podcast to you. 4 00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:12,479 Speaker 1: It's called Velvet's Edge with Kelly Henderson. It's one of 5 00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:16,160 Speaker 1: the podcasts here on the Nashville Podcast Network now. Kelly 6 00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:19,400 Speaker 1: is a CELEBT stylist based in Nashville. She has a 7 00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:22,119 Speaker 1: podcast based on her website. In her blog called Velvet's 8 00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:25,280 Speaker 1: Edge dot com. It's all about fashion, health, beauty and 9 00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:27,440 Speaker 1: she talks to really cool people inside the industry that 10 00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:29,840 Speaker 1: she works with. Now, in this episode, she's talking to 11 00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:33,120 Speaker 1: Granger Smith and his wife Amber. They share their story 12 00:00:33,159 --> 00:00:35,280 Speaker 1: of losing their son, how they're working through their grief 13 00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:38,159 Speaker 1: to find joy in each day. It's really a fantastic episode. 14 00:00:38,159 --> 00:00:40,040 Speaker 1: It's a good podcast. Hope you check it out and 15 00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:43,680 Speaker 1: you subscribe to it. When you're done, search Velvet's Edge 16 00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:46,440 Speaker 1: wherever you listen to your podcasts and subscribe. Okay, here 17 00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:48,600 Speaker 1: you go. This is Kelly Henderson and you are listening 18 00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:51,479 Speaker 1: to the velvets Edge podcast. My guest today our country 19 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:55,120 Speaker 1: music artist Granger Smith and his wife Amber. Unfortunately, a 20 00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:58,360 Speaker 1: year ago the couple experienced every parent's worst nightmare with 21 00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:01,000 Speaker 1: the drowning of their three year old son river. For 22 00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:04,040 Speaker 1: children ages one to four, drowning is the leading cause 23 00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:07,280 Speaker 1: of accidental death. So Amber and Grander are here today 24 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:10,280 Speaker 1: to share that tragic story in hopes of shedding light 25 00:01:10,319 --> 00:01:12,840 Speaker 1: on safety precautions and ways to help prevent this from 26 00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:15,680 Speaker 1: happening to others, and also to give insight on how 27 00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:18,800 Speaker 1: they are walking through their grief. This was an extremely 28 00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:21,640 Speaker 1: tough conversation to have, and I'm truly grateful for their 29 00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:25,880 Speaker 1: bravery and vulnerability. Here's our conversation, all right. So I 30 00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:29,360 Speaker 1: debated on how to approach this story because I just 31 00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:31,839 Speaker 1: imagine we live in this day would be very traumatic. 32 00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:34,000 Speaker 1: So I just want to come at this from a 33 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:37,720 Speaker 1: place of understanding your experience and then also educating people. 34 00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:39,120 Speaker 1: I know you guys have been doing a lot of 35 00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:41,800 Speaker 1: that lately, So just educating people the best we can 36 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:45,080 Speaker 1: as to hopefully help this from happening to others. So 37 00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:46,959 Speaker 1: I just want to turn it over to you guys 38 00:01:46,959 --> 00:01:48,760 Speaker 1: and ask if you just want to tell us what 39 00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:51,080 Speaker 1: happened in June a year ago, just to whatever your 40 00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:54,960 Speaker 1: comfort level is. You don't mean to take it ye okay, okay. 41 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:59,639 Speaker 1: So June fourth, we were home. It was a normal, 42 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:03,160 Speaker 1: normal night, a normal late spring evening, and we had 43 00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:06,160 Speaker 1: just finished dinner. I had gotten River out of his 44 00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:08,960 Speaker 1: high chair and he wanted to go outside and play 45 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:12,120 Speaker 1: with London and Lincoln, which was totally normal. Granger was 46 00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:15,520 Speaker 1: outside kind of doing gymnastics with London, and I had 47 00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:17,480 Speaker 1: had a rough day and I just needed a little 48 00:02:17,480 --> 00:02:19,520 Speaker 1: bit of a break, so I went back in the 49 00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:22,640 Speaker 1: house to take a shower. I got out of the 50 00:02:22,639 --> 00:02:25,400 Speaker 1: shower and I was just kind of I think I 51 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:27,280 Speaker 1: had just sat down on the bed and I had 52 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:30,639 Speaker 1: heard London scream, and I heard River fill in the pool, 53 00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:33,639 Speaker 1: and I heard her far away. We had the back 54 00:02:33,639 --> 00:02:36,600 Speaker 1: door open of the of the house, and I heard 55 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:38,560 Speaker 1: her scream River fill in the pool. So I came 56 00:02:38,639 --> 00:02:41,880 Speaker 1: running out. I was thinking, he still, he's got to 57 00:02:41,919 --> 00:02:43,280 Speaker 1: still be in the pool. I'm gonna go grab him. 58 00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:44,880 Speaker 1: I'm gonna scoop him up. He's going to be fine, 59 00:02:44,919 --> 00:02:47,000 Speaker 1: you know. And then I was thinking in my head, 60 00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:49,440 Speaker 1: you know, I think I screamed, where's Daddy before I 61 00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:51,799 Speaker 1: got out the door, And by the time I got 62 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:55,560 Speaker 1: out to the pool, I saw Granger doing CPR on River. 63 00:02:56,760 --> 00:03:02,280 Speaker 1: So and I guess the span of thirty seconds to 64 00:03:02,639 --> 00:03:05,320 Speaker 1: maybe a minute or two. You know, our boys were 65 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:08,360 Speaker 1: playing water gun fight in the backyard and Granger was 66 00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:11,120 Speaker 1: his back was to the pool and he was doing 67 00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:14,440 Speaker 1: gymnastics with London, and somewhere in that time, River found 68 00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:18,440 Speaker 1: his way into our locked poolgate and there was no splash, 69 00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:21,519 Speaker 1: there was no sound, there was no fight. Nobody saw 70 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:25,840 Speaker 1: it that was outside. So we spent the next couple 71 00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:29,040 Speaker 1: of days in the hospital and we had to say 72 00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:34,080 Speaker 1: goodbye a couple of days later. Wow, I'm so sorry, Granger. 73 00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:36,920 Speaker 1: I was reading that on today dot com and you said, 74 00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:38,840 Speaker 1: the part that still makes you so mad at yourself 75 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:41,800 Speaker 1: is just that you had a pool and you didn't 76 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:45,560 Speaker 1: know that it's the leading killer. So for children, I 77 00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:48,560 Speaker 1: was reading from children from ages one to four, drowning 78 00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:51,760 Speaker 1: is the leading leading cause of accidental death? Is that act? 79 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:55,440 Speaker 1: That's right? Yeah, that's right, that's crazy. Right, And yet 80 00:03:55,480 --> 00:04:00,720 Speaker 1: and yet, whenever you go to a pediatrician, you never hear, um, 81 00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:03,800 Speaker 1: do you guys have a fool? Right? Your neighbor next, 82 00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:06,560 Speaker 1: your neighbors have a fool? Just curious? You never hear that, 83 00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:10,320 Speaker 1: you hear more more about, um, how are they, how's 84 00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:12,960 Speaker 1: their diet? Where are they writing? You know? Do you 85 00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:15,240 Speaker 1: have a car seat? How are you know? How are 86 00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:18,320 Speaker 1: they sleeping? You hear that kind of stuff instead. Yeah, 87 00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:20,239 Speaker 1: and then I was with a part about the gate 88 00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:22,440 Speaker 1: was the hardest thing to read too, because it seems 89 00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:25,080 Speaker 1: like you guys took all the precautions that up. As 90 00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:27,680 Speaker 1: a parent, you would think that you should, and River 91 00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:30,599 Speaker 1: could swim and there was a gate. It wasn't like 92 00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:35,000 Speaker 1: he was just out there by himself. Um, what what 93 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:37,600 Speaker 1: would you say to other parents who are probably listening 94 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:39,760 Speaker 1: now and just thinking, like, I mean, obviously this is 95 00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:42,640 Speaker 1: a worst nightmare situation. But what are some of the 96 00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:45,400 Speaker 1: tangible things that you could even say that you could 97 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:48,160 Speaker 1: could do differently, Because it seems to me like you 98 00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:50,719 Speaker 1: guys were taking all the safety precautions that you could. 99 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:54,160 Speaker 1: I think the number one thing for me I would 100 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:57,360 Speaker 1: say to any parent, any caregiver, any babysitter, is that 101 00:04:57,839 --> 00:05:01,320 Speaker 1: we didn't I never knew about. It's what's called ISSR, 102 00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:04,520 Speaker 1: and it's Infant Swim Survival or Infant Swim Rescue. Okay, 103 00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:07,800 Speaker 1: and this teaches it could teach babies as young as 104 00:05:07,839 --> 00:05:11,479 Speaker 1: eight months to float in the water, so they learn 105 00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:13,720 Speaker 1: how to float, and they learn survival skills to where 106 00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:16,080 Speaker 1: if they ever somehow make it in the water, they 107 00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:18,520 Speaker 1: can roll over and make a sound or cry or 108 00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:21,640 Speaker 1: breathe so somebody can hear them or see them. And 109 00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:24,599 Speaker 1: we just didn't know about that, you know. I thought, 110 00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:27,000 Speaker 1: age three, you know, we put them in swim lessons 111 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:30,160 Speaker 1: and will be good. And that's just we know now 112 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:32,440 Speaker 1: that that is just too late. So I think the 113 00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:35,000 Speaker 1: number one thing I would say would be very very 114 00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:40,719 Speaker 1: early swim lessons or ISSR. Definitely definitely still install a 115 00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:43,960 Speaker 1: pool gate at a second lock, get a pool alarm. 116 00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:46,400 Speaker 1: I just our main thing is that it's not one 117 00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:48,919 Speaker 1: thing that's going to save your child. It's multiple layers 118 00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:51,520 Speaker 1: of protection. A gate's not going to save home. Maybe 119 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:54,680 Speaker 1: a pool alarm could could fail, but all of those 120 00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:59,920 Speaker 1: things added together offer layers of protection kill. The thing, 121 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:08,120 Speaker 1: in my opinion, is thinking that your supervision is enough. Yeah, 122 00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:12,480 Speaker 1: and I look at that in terms of say you're 123 00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:15,479 Speaker 1: driving down the highway and say, well, I'm gonna be 124 00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:18,000 Speaker 1: I'm a safe driver. I'll just watch all the rest 125 00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:19,960 Speaker 1: of the cars. I'll just keep my eyes on the road. 126 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:23,120 Speaker 1: But you're you're not thinking about a seat belt and 127 00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:26,560 Speaker 1: air bags and everything else that the other layers of protection, 128 00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:29,760 Speaker 1: and it's it's ironic. We're actually doing this podcast on 129 00:06:29,839 --> 00:06:34,880 Speaker 1: the anniversary of of close friends of ours that lost 130 00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:40,280 Speaker 1: their child the same way, and we are actually close 131 00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:44,400 Speaker 1: family friends. They knew our story and a month later 132 00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:47,880 Speaker 1: it happened to them, and that that's how crazy. And 133 00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:52,760 Speaker 1: it happened to them in a at a birthday party 134 00:06:52,839 --> 00:06:56,080 Speaker 1: for his older brother. He was turning what six years old? 135 00:06:56,080 --> 00:07:00,920 Speaker 1: Five years old, and the entire family, all the friends, 136 00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:05,440 Speaker 1: grandparents were there. They had a lifeguard there. It was 137 00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:08,880 Speaker 1: at a community pool and they were literally cutting the 138 00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:12,080 Speaker 1: cake for the little boy that the five year old 139 00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:16,760 Speaker 1: and the three year old snuck away behind everyone and 140 00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:19,400 Speaker 1: was fishing something out of the water and slipped in. 141 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:23,440 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, so even yeah, because weren't you, I mean, 142 00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:25,680 Speaker 1: do you replay that moment in your mind over and 143 00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:29,720 Speaker 1: over because you were twenty feet away? Right? Is that just? Yeah? 144 00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:34,360 Speaker 1: The hardest part of that for you? Yeah? Yeah, every day. 145 00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:36,400 Speaker 1: I think about it every day. I think about it 146 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:39,160 Speaker 1: every day. All I had to do was turn my 147 00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:46,040 Speaker 1: head around a little sooner than I did. And yeah, 148 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:48,920 Speaker 1: it's it'll be with me forever. I was reading in 149 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:51,360 Speaker 1: People you said, I'm going to forgive myself, but I'm 150 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:53,560 Speaker 1: not there yet. What do you think it will take 151 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,560 Speaker 1: for you to get to a place of forgiving yourself. 152 00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:58,640 Speaker 1: I think the reason I say that is because everyone 153 00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:02,120 Speaker 1: else tells me that eventually I will. Yeah. Yeah, I 154 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:05,040 Speaker 1: was like, well, I mean you have to eventually, right, 155 00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:11,800 Speaker 1: that's but that's I mean besides um time, just having 156 00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:16,960 Speaker 1: a lot of time and to reconcile with myself over time, 157 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:21,800 Speaker 1: and um, and it's hard to reconcile right now because 158 00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:24,920 Speaker 1: it's still fresh and you don't want to really dive 159 00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:28,080 Speaker 1: into that. And um, I used to dive into it 160 00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:30,160 Speaker 1: every day and we amber and I called it the 161 00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:32,960 Speaker 1: slide show. You'd get you get. It's like you're walking 162 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:35,400 Speaker 1: down a hallway and you you glanced into a room. 163 00:08:35,559 --> 00:08:38,320 Speaker 1: The doors cracked and there's a slide show playing and 164 00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:40,400 Speaker 1: you get sucked into that room and that's the same 165 00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:43,200 Speaker 1: six or seven slides that are playing over and over, 166 00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:47,040 Speaker 1: and that's that's your memory of that night, and it's 167 00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:50,080 Speaker 1: it's it gets on a loop. And anyone that's that's 168 00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:53,600 Speaker 1: gone through anything traumatic doesn't even have to be terrible. 169 00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:57,400 Speaker 1: It could be a breakup with a boyfriend and girlfriend. 170 00:08:57,440 --> 00:09:00,720 Speaker 1: You go through a slide show of these certain events 171 00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:03,439 Speaker 1: that you remember and you cannot get that loop out 172 00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:05,960 Speaker 1: of your head. Well, so how do you how do 173 00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:10,479 Speaker 1: you stop that? Have you figured that out yet? No, UM, 174 00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:13,560 Speaker 1: I've gotten a lot better than Amber and I have 175 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:16,079 Speaker 1: been to therapy. Went we went to therapy in Tennessee 176 00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:19,920 Speaker 1: and UM spent a week there and it was it 177 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:23,800 Speaker 1: was probably the best thing that we've done for ourselves. 178 00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:28,520 Speaker 1: UM since the accident. Was was actually invest in some 179 00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:32,599 Speaker 1: therapy and it was actually wants to say it, I 180 00:09:32,679 --> 00:09:35,680 Speaker 1: was just gonna say, I think we did it. We 181 00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:38,080 Speaker 1: did a certain therapy called brain spotting that was there 182 00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:40,840 Speaker 1: and it's kind of a different form of EMDR where 183 00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:44,000 Speaker 1: it's like an eye rapid eye movement and and Grangers 184 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,840 Speaker 1: talking about this loop and and it is it's a 185 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:47,520 Speaker 1: it's a loop that you play over and over and 186 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:49,520 Speaker 1: over of the traumatic visions that you see and what 187 00:09:49,559 --> 00:09:52,600 Speaker 1: you could have done, and and so that that therapy 188 00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:56,199 Speaker 1: truly helped me. I mean I still have those visions, 189 00:09:56,240 --> 00:09:58,120 Speaker 1: of course, I always will for the rest of my life, 190 00:09:58,160 --> 00:10:01,800 Speaker 1: but I can honestly say that therapy has diminished those 191 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:05,439 Speaker 1: for me by about eighty percent. So if anybody is 192 00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:07,800 Speaker 1: struggling with something like that or things that they remember 193 00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:10,880 Speaker 1: or trauma, I recommend looking into that because that that 194 00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:14,280 Speaker 1: really helps those visions for me. Yeah, I actually love 195 00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:18,600 Speaker 1: that tip because I know with me, in any experience 196 00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:20,199 Speaker 1: that I've had in my life where there's been grief, 197 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:23,239 Speaker 1: it comes in such waves like some are expected obviously, 198 00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:26,320 Speaker 1: but then some of it has been so unpredictable and 199 00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:29,120 Speaker 1: kind of like the slideshow thing you're saying, like almost 200 00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:31,400 Speaker 1: sometimes you wouldn't even realize you're doing that, you know, 201 00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:34,800 Speaker 1: but it's just like it's unconsciously happening. So what else 202 00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:37,040 Speaker 1: has the grief looked like for you guys? Like is 203 00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:41,000 Speaker 1: it just different every single day? It is? I mean 204 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:43,720 Speaker 1: there we've it's been a little over a year now, 205 00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:46,680 Speaker 1: so we're slowly coming into you know, peaceful situations and 206 00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:50,160 Speaker 1: we're finding joy. But like you said that, you can 207 00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:53,480 Speaker 1: be hit out of nowhere with this wave of grief 208 00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:57,719 Speaker 1: or a memory or a trigger of something, and then 209 00:10:57,760 --> 00:11:00,360 Speaker 1: you just have to fight through that. And another thing 210 00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:04,120 Speaker 1: I've learned is that we graindren I grieve very differently. 211 00:11:04,520 --> 00:11:06,400 Speaker 1: You know, how he grieves is going to be different 212 00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:08,960 Speaker 1: than how I'm grieving. And there's no right or wrong 213 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:10,480 Speaker 1: way to grieve, and you have to you have to 214 00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:12,400 Speaker 1: really support each other and give each other grace to 215 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:15,600 Speaker 1: be able to handle something like this and to make 216 00:11:15,640 --> 00:11:18,440 Speaker 1: it through that. Yeah, Amber, how I mean, how in 217 00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:22,640 Speaker 1: the world do you handle your grief and still well? 218 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:24,560 Speaker 1: I guess this question could go for both of you, guys, 219 00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:27,000 Speaker 1: But how do you deal with grieving the loss of 220 00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:32,480 Speaker 1: one child while you're still parenting two other children? I 221 00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:36,040 Speaker 1: think that it's just a it's just something I have 222 00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:37,560 Speaker 1: to I don't have a choice, you know, I have 223 00:11:37,679 --> 00:11:39,840 Speaker 1: to two other children I have to take care of, 224 00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:42,440 Speaker 1: and they're you know, I want them to be to 225 00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:45,360 Speaker 1: be raised and have a joyful life and and to 226 00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:47,959 Speaker 1: be to be happy, but also to still remember their 227 00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:49,600 Speaker 1: brother in a in a in a good light, in 228 00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:52,360 Speaker 1: a happy way, and I don't want them to be traumatized. 229 00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:55,160 Speaker 1: So we did put them in therapy, play therapy for 230 00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:58,600 Speaker 1: about nine months. And it is hard because I'll be 231 00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:00,600 Speaker 1: playing with them sometimes and last thing and you know, 232 00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:03,760 Speaker 1: truly laughing and having joy, and then there's that thing 233 00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:05,040 Speaker 1: in the back of my mind that says, why are 234 00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:07,640 Speaker 1: you laughing right now? You know you you lost your son. 235 00:12:07,679 --> 00:12:10,240 Speaker 1: Your son should be here, and so that's a fight. Um, 236 00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:12,320 Speaker 1: but it's just it's just trying every day to do 237 00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:14,960 Speaker 1: the best that you can and and giving yourself grace 238 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,760 Speaker 1: because there's going to be days that are much harder 239 00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:20,199 Speaker 1: than others. Yeah. Have you I know you guys are 240 00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:23,480 Speaker 1: both pretty give a faith background and you're pretty religious, 241 00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:26,240 Speaker 1: and so has it at all? Have you battled with 242 00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:29,480 Speaker 1: being mad at God and just like why would this happen? 243 00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:33,520 Speaker 1: Because it just seems so unfair? Yeah, that's um, it's 244 00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:39,559 Speaker 1: very natural to think why could how could a god 245 00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:44,360 Speaker 1: of the universe allow something so terrible to happen or 246 00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:49,360 Speaker 1: anything for that for that matter. And I kind of 247 00:12:49,440 --> 00:12:53,920 Speaker 1: quickly put together that day that the only way to 248 00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:59,000 Speaker 1: really answer that question is that if you believe in God, 249 00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:02,440 Speaker 1: then you have to believe that he is all knowing, 250 00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:06,880 Speaker 1: and he he had rivers today's numbered, he has all 251 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:10,480 Speaker 1: of our day's numbered, and he knew exactly what was 252 00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:15,440 Speaker 1: happening exactly when it happened. Why I have no idea? 253 00:13:15,559 --> 00:13:18,280 Speaker 1: And that could that could torment me forever? Why that 254 00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:21,040 Speaker 1: could even be possible. But but the fact that it 255 00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:26,000 Speaker 1: could be possible, that that that that his days were numbered, 256 00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:28,480 Speaker 1: then that makes me think, well, then there has to 257 00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:31,600 Speaker 1: be a purpose. Yeah, there has to be. There has 258 00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:38,000 Speaker 1: to be something in his legacy that matters. Otherwise it doesn't. 259 00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:40,760 Speaker 1: It was a waste. It wasn't. It was just a 260 00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:44,040 Speaker 1: tragedy that was gone forever. So the only other way 261 00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:46,720 Speaker 1: to look at it is there's a purpose. There's there's 262 00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:50,520 Speaker 1: something bigger than all this. And and just thinking that 263 00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:55,320 Speaker 1: and kind of diving into that thought was instantly healing 264 00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:59,199 Speaker 1: from me to think, Okay, I'm gonna put my time 265 00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:01,640 Speaker 1: anytime i feel that heavy grief, I'm going to put 266 00:14:01,679 --> 00:14:06,040 Speaker 1: that into a drive of River's legacy and how he 267 00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:09,520 Speaker 1: could affect other people all the way to this podcast today. 268 00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:12,280 Speaker 1: But if one person hears it and goes, yeah, oh 269 00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:14,360 Speaker 1: you know what, I never really thought about that, I 270 00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:17,520 Speaker 1: could get a pool alarm and maybe should I should 271 00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:20,800 Speaker 1: do that? You know, And if that message could spread 272 00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:23,840 Speaker 1: and spread and spread one person at a time, then 273 00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:27,400 Speaker 1: you could look back it's your question on being angry 274 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:30,360 Speaker 1: at God, and you can go maybe God needed River 275 00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:33,360 Speaker 1: to save a bunch of lives. Yeah, I hate that. 276 00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:37,680 Speaker 1: I hate it. I hate that. But but maybe maybe 277 00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:42,080 Speaker 1: that's a purpose and it helps answer that question. I 278 00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:44,920 Speaker 1: was reading that you guys are using the hashtag live 279 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:47,760 Speaker 1: like Riv. What does that mean to you? What does 280 00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:52,040 Speaker 1: that mean every day? Well, Riv, he had a very 281 00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:59,080 Speaker 1: sprescial personality. He was there's extremely outgoing. Um, he was 282 00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:07,760 Speaker 1: very carefree and happy. He enjoyed being outdoors and barefoot, 283 00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:13,320 Speaker 1: and he had crazy red hair. And he liked going fast. 284 00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:16,200 Speaker 1: Everything he did, he liked to go fast, faster, faster, faster, 285 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:19,800 Speaker 1: whether that was a little tricycle when he was a 286 00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:22,200 Speaker 1: little baby or as he got older and got into 287 00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:25,800 Speaker 1: go karts and things like that. But he loved adrenaline 288 00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:29,200 Speaker 1: and wind in his face and um. And so when 289 00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:31,320 Speaker 1: you when we think about live like Riv, it was 290 00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:35,680 Speaker 1: it was instantly a live life to the fullest type sentiment, 291 00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:39,960 Speaker 1: where where let's let's focus on today, let's not worry 292 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:43,120 Speaker 1: about tomorrow. We can't change the past. Let's let's enjoy 293 00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:49,040 Speaker 1: today to the fullest, like Riverwood. Yeah. I do think 294 00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:52,160 Speaker 1: you guys have a huge platform now to talk about this, 295 00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:54,280 Speaker 1: and I'm so it. We're just in reading your story, 296 00:15:54,360 --> 00:15:57,760 Speaker 1: I'm so um, just in awe of how gracefully both 297 00:15:57,760 --> 00:16:01,160 Speaker 1: of you have been doing this. And I also think 298 00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:07,680 Speaker 1: that it's so amazing the beauty of the realness between 299 00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:09,720 Speaker 1: the two of you. And I was reading about I 300 00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:12,000 Speaker 1: think Granger. It was on your Instagram page, you posted 301 00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:15,720 Speaker 1: on your tenth anniversary, and the whole thing was just 302 00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:17,760 Speaker 1: about you know, we can post these pictures of this 303 00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:21,640 Speaker 1: perfect family and this perfect relationship, right but like that, 304 00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:25,360 Speaker 1: you're more in love almost now because you guys have 305 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:29,480 Speaker 1: been through so many ups and downs. You're heavily flawed, 306 00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:32,160 Speaker 1: each of you, and you accept each other as you are. 307 00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:34,400 Speaker 1: And I want to read it because the way you 308 00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:36,720 Speaker 1: said it was so beautiful. But you said what I 309 00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:38,840 Speaker 1: see as two people in a storm, hanging on to 310 00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:42,120 Speaker 1: God for truth and guidance, like a lone fence post 311 00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:45,080 Speaker 1: in the ravaging wind. I see a girl hurting, drawing 312 00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:49,560 Speaker 1: on unimaginable strength just to continue on with necessary motherly duties, 313 00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:52,520 Speaker 1: clinging to the Bible like it's a life raft hurling 314 00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:56,000 Speaker 1: through an unknown sea. I see a man savagely battling 315 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:59,440 Speaker 1: a relentless demon, shielded only by faith and masking the 316 00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:02,600 Speaker 1: crippling weakness bought on by his deep shame his failure 317 00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:05,360 Speaker 1: as a father. But we're still in love, stronger than 318 00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:08,880 Speaker 1: ever before, because but it feels different in its evolution. Now, 319 00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:12,159 Speaker 1: it's not the fairy tale, but the vulnerability that fuels 320 00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:14,960 Speaker 1: the fire, the very essence of what makes us human, 321 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:19,200 Speaker 1: bounded by integrity and truth, but still fundamentally flawed. That 322 00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:22,199 Speaker 1: makes our love mature. It's always sweet to see a 323 00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:25,480 Speaker 1: young couple exchange vows and rings, but it's truly special 324 00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:28,160 Speaker 1: when you see the old couple holding hands on the sidewalk, 325 00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:30,520 Speaker 1: because you know the peaks and valleys they've climbed together, 326 00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:35,639 Speaker 1: the storms they've weathered, the matter love that's endured. That 327 00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:39,160 Speaker 1: is the real fairy tale. I thought that was so 328 00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:42,760 Speaker 1: incredibly beautiful. And you know, you often hear when a 329 00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:45,680 Speaker 1: family loses a child that it can tear a relationship apart. 330 00:17:46,359 --> 00:17:48,840 Speaker 1: So how do you feel that you guys have both 331 00:17:49,119 --> 00:17:51,800 Speaker 1: leaned into each other in your grief instead of turning 332 00:17:51,840 --> 00:17:58,680 Speaker 1: on each other? I think, I mean, it's kind of 333 00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:00,800 Speaker 1: a hard question to answer, but you know, I even 334 00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:04,000 Speaker 1: had some friends asked me after it happens. You know, 335 00:18:04,119 --> 00:18:05,480 Speaker 1: I don't know if I could have I don't know 336 00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:07,919 Speaker 1: if I would have my marriage would have withstood, you know, 337 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:11,160 Speaker 1: losing this, losing a child. I can just honestly say 338 00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:14,560 Speaker 1: there was never you know, he could have blamed me 339 00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:16,520 Speaker 1: that night because I didn't you know, put River to 340 00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:19,520 Speaker 1: bed or you know, we just whenever I made that 341 00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:22,159 Speaker 1: commitment to say I do for me, it was honestly 342 00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:24,600 Speaker 1: till death do us part, you know, for better or worse. 343 00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:27,320 Speaker 1: And this is this is part of the worst. This is, 344 00:18:27,359 --> 00:18:29,040 Speaker 1: I hope, one of the worst things we ever have 345 00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:32,080 Speaker 1: to face as a couple. But I'm glad that he 346 00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:34,560 Speaker 1: shares my same view on that, on marriage and love 347 00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:38,159 Speaker 1: and and we have a family, and we are just 348 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:40,080 Speaker 1: committed to each other. We have just made that commitment 349 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:43,080 Speaker 1: to each other to stand together understand that we're going 350 00:18:43,119 --> 00:18:44,920 Speaker 1: to go through ups and downs in our lives. But 351 00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:47,199 Speaker 1: it's leaning on each other and leaning on God that 352 00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:50,199 Speaker 1: are going to get us through it. Yeah, Grazer, what 353 00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:59,600 Speaker 1: about you. Yeah, it's hard. It's hard to really answer 354 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:02,440 Speaker 1: that if I didn't already feel the way I did 355 00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:06,520 Speaker 1: about Amber before the accident. Yeah, I think if we 356 00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:10,280 Speaker 1: were fragile in any way or doubting in any way, 357 00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:14,320 Speaker 1: this probably would have just ended it. Because I've seen 358 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:20,360 Speaker 1: that happen to other people close to us, but to me, 359 00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:24,400 Speaker 1: it all boils down to one thing. I was out 360 00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:29,120 Speaker 1: in the backyard with all three kids playing gymnastics with 361 00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:33,960 Speaker 1: my daughter. The boys were water gun fight. I looked 362 00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:38,000 Speaker 1: over my shoulder and saw river in the pool. No 363 00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:40,959 Speaker 1: matter how you added up, that's all on me. And 364 00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:45,040 Speaker 1: when she came out of the house to help with CPR. 365 00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:48,800 Speaker 1: From then, from that day to this when she has 366 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:55,200 Speaker 1: not blamed me, she splits the blame and that that 367 00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:57,680 Speaker 1: did it. I mean, that's it. That's the only that's 368 00:19:57,720 --> 00:20:00,520 Speaker 1: that's why we're here. If she had come out, and 369 00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:04,120 Speaker 1: that's what tears people apart, is if she has ever 370 00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:06,359 Speaker 1: looked me in the eye and said, how could you 371 00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:09,320 Speaker 1: do this? Yeah, how could you take your eye off 372 00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:12,720 Speaker 1: of him? If she had ever once said those words, 373 00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:17,360 Speaker 1: that would that would be the crack that would just 374 00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:23,359 Speaker 1: grow and grow and grow. Well, you both really talk 375 00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:26,639 Speaker 1: a lot now about finding joy, So how are you 376 00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:32,440 Speaker 1: finding joy each day? The simple things? Really? And and 377 00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:36,800 Speaker 1: I think maybe there's a lot of more. There's a 378 00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:38,639 Speaker 1: lot of other people that could agree with me because 379 00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:43,240 Speaker 1: of what twenty twenty has brought us. Right that you know, 380 00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:47,119 Speaker 1: we have a lot of us have turned back to 381 00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:52,360 Speaker 1: just being grateful for today and the little things and 382 00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:57,000 Speaker 1: you know, a sunny day or a cool breeze, or 383 00:20:57,040 --> 00:21:00,840 Speaker 1: a nice meal with with on an actually table with 384 00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:03,960 Speaker 1: another person sitting across from the table, you know, but 385 00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:07,240 Speaker 1: things things that we might have taken for granted in 386 00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:11,679 Speaker 1: twenty nineteen. Um, that's where we're finding joy now. We 387 00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:17,720 Speaker 1: haven't gone on vacations, are gotten new cars. So I 388 00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:22,440 Speaker 1: can't I can't say anything for our joy besides today. 389 00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:27,679 Speaker 1: And God, it sounds like a lot of present living 390 00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:32,320 Speaker 1: to me. Yeah, absolutely, Yeah, absolutely. And there's a little 391 00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:35,159 Speaker 1: bit of a danger in me preaching live in the present, 392 00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:38,359 Speaker 1: because it gives a little bit of it, you know, 393 00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:41,680 Speaker 1: I don't care about anything right reality, but it's but 394 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:45,240 Speaker 1: there's a difference between that and saying, you know what 395 00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:48,119 Speaker 1: I could prepare for tomorrow, but I'm not going to 396 00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:51,439 Speaker 1: rely on it. And and you know the phrases like 397 00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:55,000 Speaker 1: dream home, you know, things that we used to say. 398 00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:58,960 Speaker 1: We don't say those things anymore. We say we're we 399 00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:03,720 Speaker 1: We could plan for tomorrow, we could, we could have 400 00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:06,640 Speaker 1: the five and ten year plan, but we're really going 401 00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:09,800 Speaker 1: to live for today. We're gon We're gonna find the 402 00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:12,879 Speaker 1: best moments of today, knowing full well that tomorrow is 403 00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:15,640 Speaker 1: not guaranteed at all. Right, I think it's just such 404 00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:17,600 Speaker 1: a fine line, like you're saying. I mean, you obviously 405 00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:19,399 Speaker 1: want to set goals in your life, but you also 406 00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:23,200 Speaker 1: don't want to miss what's right in front of you. Yeah, 407 00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:26,520 Speaker 1: absolutely right, Amber. If you had to say one thing 408 00:22:26,560 --> 00:22:28,880 Speaker 1: that you would want River's legacy to bring, what would 409 00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:36,719 Speaker 1: it be. Oh, my gosh, that's really hard to answer. Um. 410 00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:40,320 Speaker 1: I think it's just to just, like Granger said, just 411 00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:44,400 Speaker 1: to be in the present moment and enjoy each other 412 00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:49,040 Speaker 1: and just love each other. And and River always knew 413 00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:53,159 Speaker 1: that Jesus was his friend, and I he's already his 414 00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:56,320 Speaker 1: legacy is already bringing this. You know, you asked how 415 00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:58,719 Speaker 1: we find joy, and I get so many messages from 416 00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:02,600 Speaker 1: people that say, you know, I was turning away from 417 00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:04,960 Speaker 1: my faith. I I didn't trust God anymore. But your 418 00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:06,959 Speaker 1: story has brought me back to church. Your story has 419 00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:09,840 Speaker 1: brought me back to God. And I think that to 420 00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:13,000 Speaker 1: me means so much for his little legacy, you know, 421 00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:16,119 Speaker 1: bringing people to bringing people to Heaven for sure, and 422 00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:19,720 Speaker 1: then on the earthly side of things, saving lives. You know, 423 00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:22,520 Speaker 1: I've had so many people say we installed a pool 424 00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:24,520 Speaker 1: gate because of you. I've put my kids in lessons 425 00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:27,000 Speaker 1: because of you. So as much as this hurts that 426 00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:29,960 Speaker 1: we don't have our son physically here, his legacy is 427 00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:32,960 Speaker 1: doing so much already, and he's changed so many lives 428 00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:35,280 Speaker 1: and his short little life on earth, you know, than 429 00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:41,520 Speaker 1: many people do in their whole lifetime. So a little boy, 430 00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:44,280 Speaker 1: oh yeah, I heard his story the other day that 431 00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:50,040 Speaker 1: a babysitter was watching some children and the littlest one just, 432 00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:51,240 Speaker 1: you know, in the blink of an eye if you 433 00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:53,040 Speaker 1: go to the bathroom, he snuck away and he made 434 00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:55,280 Speaker 1: it through the gate, and she had found him in 435 00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:57,920 Speaker 1: the pool, but he was floating and he was taking 436 00:23:57,960 --> 00:24:00,720 Speaker 1: his breath because their parents had her of our story 437 00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:04,119 Speaker 1: and it's I'm in sr lessons. So she said, if 438 00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:06,600 Speaker 1: you ever don't feel like you're saving lives, you at 439 00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:09,639 Speaker 1: least saved one today. So that just means so much. 440 00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:17,080 Speaker 1: I bet Granger, would you contribute anything to that. Yeah. 441 00:24:17,119 --> 00:24:21,920 Speaker 1: My focus for River's legacy truly is it starts with 442 00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:27,520 Speaker 1: our our two children here. And you know, my number 443 00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:32,760 Speaker 1: one goal above above saving other families lives and above 444 00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:38,680 Speaker 1: everything is that they grow up without regrets or UM 445 00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:43,399 Speaker 1: sadness or they only think of River as a little 446 00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:49,320 Speaker 1: bundle of joy and forever their little brother and and 447 00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:53,439 Speaker 1: no no pain or sorrow connected with any kind of 448 00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:57,200 Speaker 1: PTSD as they get older that they have to deal with. 449 00:24:57,280 --> 00:25:00,960 Speaker 1: And that's that's definitely been a alan for every night. 450 00:25:01,119 --> 00:25:04,879 Speaker 1: But man, I gotta say right now, I think I 451 00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:09,840 Speaker 1: think it's doing great because I don't see remnants of that. UM. 452 00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:12,320 Speaker 1: Everything seems to be a smile when we talk about 453 00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:15,680 Speaker 1: River and Um. You know, like I said, they were 454 00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:19,959 Speaker 1: both with me London, my little girl, Um, she was 455 00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:22,760 Speaker 1: facing the pool, so when I went in after a river, 456 00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:26,119 Speaker 1: she was right there with me. Then she was seven 457 00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:29,200 Speaker 1: years old when it happened, So that that's that could 458 00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:31,639 Speaker 1: be something that carries with her the rest of her life. 459 00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:35,640 Speaker 1: And so that's my number one goal is is make 460 00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:40,320 Speaker 1: sure that that that memory turns into UM a lesson 461 00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:49,080 Speaker 1: of recovery and peace and understanding. Greece. Yeah, I know 462 00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:51,439 Speaker 1: you've said that being on the road and performing has 463 00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:54,000 Speaker 1: been it's been very healing for you. Why is that 464 00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:57,520 Speaker 1: what's healing about it? Yeah? At first it was terrible. 465 00:25:58,119 --> 00:26:03,320 Speaker 1: Why re terrible. Um going out And you know, I 466 00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:06,479 Speaker 1: knew I had to. It was the lesser of two eagles, 467 00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:10,560 Speaker 1: because I didn't want to be at home. Yeah, so 468 00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:13,639 Speaker 1: I took the family and we hit the road. And um, 469 00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:19,000 Speaker 1: those first few shows, I remember, we're up and kind 470 00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:24,080 Speaker 1: of almost up in the Northwest, and we were started 471 00:26:24,119 --> 00:26:26,320 Speaker 1: in Montana, I believe, And so it was a great 472 00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:29,280 Speaker 1: place to go. Montana is an amazing place to go 473 00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:35,280 Speaker 1: if you're wanting to grieve and feel start to feel 474 00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:38,480 Speaker 1: nature around you. But um, but going out on stage, 475 00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:42,040 Speaker 1: I just it felt meaningless. It just really felt it 476 00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:46,480 Speaker 1: felt worthless. Singing some lyrics to some people so that 477 00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:50,560 Speaker 1: they could just party. And I really had to wrap 478 00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:54,639 Speaker 1: my brain around re engaging and why it mattered to 479 00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:57,800 Speaker 1: play music. And I quickly I understood. It took a 480 00:26:57,840 --> 00:27:01,240 Speaker 1: few months to realize that, um, that a lot of 481 00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:04,480 Speaker 1: people were looking at me to see how I was 482 00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:07,040 Speaker 1: going to react. Yeah, like what this guy? Is this 483 00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:09,840 Speaker 1: guy gonna freak out? Is this guy gonna cry on 484 00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:13,080 Speaker 1: stage or do something weird or is he even gonna 485 00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:16,360 Speaker 1: show up at all? And and so I kind of thought, Okay, well, 486 00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:18,800 Speaker 1: here we go. This is this is something I'll go 487 00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:22,439 Speaker 1: out there and and I'll try to give them the 488 00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:27,160 Speaker 1: best show I can and show them that I'm gonna 489 00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:30,439 Speaker 1: I'm gonna stand up from a little boy and the 490 00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:34,439 Speaker 1: life is not going to stop. And that was kind 491 00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:37,359 Speaker 1: of a message I wanted to send because there's a 492 00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:40,960 Speaker 1: lot of people there that were going through losses. Everyone 493 00:27:41,119 --> 00:27:43,600 Speaker 1: is Everyone is going through it or about to go 494 00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:46,000 Speaker 1: through it, or they or dealing with it from ten 495 00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:49,200 Speaker 1: years ago. But but everyone knows how that feels at 496 00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:52,560 Speaker 1: some level. And I think it's important message to say, 497 00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:54,920 Speaker 1: you gotta get up, you gotta comb your hair, you 498 00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:57,000 Speaker 1: gotta brush your teeth, you gotta put one foot in 499 00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:59,480 Speaker 1: front of the other, and you have to go. You 500 00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:04,119 Speaker 1: have to keep showing up. Yep, have you? Um? Is 501 00:28:04,119 --> 00:28:06,800 Speaker 1: there anything new musically that we can look forward from 502 00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:09,840 Speaker 1: you in the next coming months. Yeah, there's gonna be 503 00:28:10,359 --> 00:28:14,440 Speaker 1: a new album September twenty fifth, nice and it's gonna 504 00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:18,320 Speaker 1: be divided up into two volumes, Volume one September twenty fifth, 505 00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:22,359 Speaker 1: Volume two November twenty seven, So there's a lot of music. 506 00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:25,080 Speaker 1: I was going to release an album in twenty nineteen, 507 00:28:25,119 --> 00:28:28,120 Speaker 1: that was always a plan, and then that that year 508 00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:31,359 Speaker 1: got turned upside down, and then it got pushed to 509 00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:36,200 Speaker 1: this year, which this year was fun too. Yeah. So 510 00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:40,400 Speaker 1: so there's gonna be sixteen songs, needless to say, and 511 00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:43,120 Speaker 1: I'm happy with it. I really am. There's a lot 512 00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:45,800 Speaker 1: of it was written during a crazy time, and so 513 00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:48,920 Speaker 1: although I'm not going to get into specific stuff about River, 514 00:28:49,080 --> 00:28:54,520 Speaker 1: in these songs, you could definitely feel the emotion of 515 00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:58,120 Speaker 1: what our family was living. I know, I know for me, 516 00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:00,480 Speaker 1: especially just in this pandemic, I've been listening to so 517 00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:02,760 Speaker 1: much music, so I'm always really excited when there's new 518 00:29:02,840 --> 00:29:07,280 Speaker 1: music coming out. I also need to talk about Earl Dibbles. 519 00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:10,760 Speaker 1: Can we talk about Home for a second. Yeah, Explain 520 00:29:10,840 --> 00:29:15,760 Speaker 1: to people who Earl is. Yeah, Earl is an alter ego, 521 00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:20,320 Speaker 1: lack of a better term, an ultra country boy. Yeah, 522 00:29:21,320 --> 00:29:24,640 Speaker 1: ultra country boy. I like that. It started in twenty 523 00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:28,280 Speaker 1: eleven and I was promoting an album at the time, 524 00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:31,720 Speaker 1: and my brothers and I, who we all worked together 525 00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:35,400 Speaker 1: in management, they were we were coming up with just 526 00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:38,200 Speaker 1: trying to think of some videos that would go viral 527 00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:42,440 Speaker 1: to help promote the album in twenty eleven, and Earl 528 00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:46,240 Speaker 1: was just another idea that was ultra country boy kind 529 00:29:46,240 --> 00:29:48,880 Speaker 1: of represented some people we had known, and some family 530 00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:51,760 Speaker 1: members we'd knew, and let's just go way over the 531 00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:53,480 Speaker 1: top and just make this funny guy to have them 532 00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:56,320 Speaker 1: sit on the porch and talk about country things and 533 00:29:56,320 --> 00:30:01,040 Speaker 1: how Maddie is about the city. And that went viral, 534 00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:04,400 Speaker 1: and then a year later I wrote a song for 535 00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:06,200 Speaker 1: him and put out a music video for him, and 536 00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:08,960 Speaker 1: then that went viral, and so then I added that 537 00:30:09,080 --> 00:30:11,160 Speaker 1: to the show, and then it became a really fun 538 00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:13,040 Speaker 1: part of our show. And so the next album, I 539 00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:14,920 Speaker 1: did another song for him, and then we added that 540 00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:18,040 Speaker 1: to the show and sending him. Fast forward to twenty twenty, 541 00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:23,120 Speaker 1: it's just become it's really integrated into, strangely enough, into 542 00:30:23,160 --> 00:30:25,800 Speaker 1: what I do. Just this crazy country boy comes out 543 00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:28,200 Speaker 1: at the end of the show and sings a song, 544 00:30:28,280 --> 00:30:31,360 Speaker 1: and then there's random videos I'll put up with him, 545 00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:35,080 Speaker 1: and he has his own Instagram pages, and so it's 546 00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:40,880 Speaker 1: it's it's it's surprisingly not very strange after nine years. 547 00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:45,160 Speaker 1: Definitely something I absolutely love, or I love. I love 548 00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:48,360 Speaker 1: becoming him and singing songs for him and the creative 549 00:30:48,400 --> 00:30:50,880 Speaker 1: release that it gives me. Well, I have to tell you, 550 00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:52,680 Speaker 1: I mean, I obviously knew who you are just from 551 00:30:52,680 --> 00:30:55,880 Speaker 1: being in the country music world, but during this pandemic. 552 00:30:55,960 --> 00:30:59,080 Speaker 1: My boyfriend, he is a little bit of a country 553 00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:02,840 Speaker 1: boy himself, and he was like quoting something that Earl says. 554 00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:04,840 Speaker 1: I can't even remember what it was right now, maybe 555 00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:08,160 Speaker 1: it was ye yee or something, But anyway, he shows 556 00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:11,400 Speaker 1: me the videos. We watched probably for an hour straight, 557 00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:15,200 Speaker 1: just dying laughing. I mean, it's so spot on. If 558 00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:17,640 Speaker 1: you guys haven't checked it out, I mean it's YouTube 559 00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:19,440 Speaker 1: the best place to go find it or just google 560 00:31:19,520 --> 00:31:24,000 Speaker 1: Earl Dibbles. Yeah, YouTube is kind of where it all started. Yes, 561 00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:26,200 Speaker 1: if you need a good laugh, I feel like Earl 562 00:31:26,320 --> 00:31:30,040 Speaker 1: is your guy. He's the place to go. Um. I 563 00:31:30,120 --> 00:31:31,960 Speaker 1: just want to say thank you guys so much for 564 00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:35,600 Speaker 1: being vulnerable and just open about this story. I really 565 00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:39,880 Speaker 1: do appreciate that and the honesty, and I know it's 566 00:31:39,920 --> 00:31:41,800 Speaker 1: never going to be easy to talk about, so I 567 00:31:41,880 --> 00:31:44,240 Speaker 1: just really appreciate you showing up for that and what 568 00:31:44,280 --> 00:31:49,480 Speaker 1: you're doing for educating people. And is there anything that 569 00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:53,080 Speaker 1: we could do as just you know, myself or listeners. Um, 570 00:31:53,160 --> 00:31:55,440 Speaker 1: is there any sort of thing set up for river 571 00:31:55,680 --> 00:31:59,320 Speaker 1: or like what we could do to help you guys? 572 00:32:00,760 --> 00:32:04,000 Speaker 1: So after river past. We knew we just wanted to 573 00:32:04,080 --> 00:32:06,880 Speaker 1: keep his little legacy going, so we created the River 574 00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:12,200 Speaker 1: Kelly Fund. That's River Kelly Fund dot org and people 575 00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:14,640 Speaker 1: you can just donate as little or as much as 576 00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:17,880 Speaker 1: you like, and we've set it up to be able 577 00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:19,920 Speaker 1: to help out all different areas of the community. So 578 00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:22,520 Speaker 1: we've helped with drowning prevention, We've helped with the Tennessee 579 00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:27,280 Speaker 1: Tornado Relief Fund, We've helped recently with a wildlife organization 580 00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:31,680 Speaker 1: in Alaska. We've helped with citizens with disabilities, children's hospitals. 581 00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:33,880 Speaker 1: So it's set up to help anywhere that there is 582 00:32:33,880 --> 00:32:36,120 Speaker 1: a need. So we set that up to help keep 583 00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:39,040 Speaker 1: his little little legacy going. River Kelly Fund dot org 584 00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:41,600 Speaker 1: and River Kelly Fund dot org. And then where can 585 00:32:41,640 --> 00:32:43,520 Speaker 1: people find you guys on social media if they just 586 00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:46,960 Speaker 1: want to keep up with your story. So my Instagram 587 00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:51,840 Speaker 1: is at Amber Emily Smith and mine is Everything is 588 00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:55,240 Speaker 1: Granger Smith on all the socials. Amazing. Thank you guys 589 00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:57,320 Speaker 1: again so much for being here and for sharing your 590 00:32:57,320 --> 00:32:59,680 Speaker 1: story with us. You guys go check out both Amber 591 00:33:00,280 --> 00:33:04,680 Speaker 1: and Granger and River Kelly Fund dot org just if 592 00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:06,360 Speaker 1: you feel the need to help or you want it 593 00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:09,600 Speaker 1: to get involved in this. Thank you guys again, Thank 594 00:33:09,640 --> 00:33:12,320 Speaker 1: you so much. Kelly