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Speaker 1: Motherfucking solo. Motherfucking yep, yep, yep. There it is. There

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Speaker 1: it is. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to another phenomenal, devastating,

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Speaker 1: miraculous episode of My Mama Told Me. A many episodes

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Speaker 1: the podcast where we dot deep, deep into the pockets

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Speaker 1: of black expiracy theories, and we've finally worked to prove

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Speaker 1: the theories that you the listeners have at home. There

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Speaker 1: it is, there, it is. Here we go, Here we go,

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Speaker 1: Here we go again. Girls, what's my weakness? Man? I

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Speaker 1: am your host, Lengthsting Kerman. As always, I'm excited to

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Speaker 1: be here. You know what I realized recently, as I've

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Speaker 1: been recording these many episodes, I haven't been using my drops.

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Speaker 1: I'm talking to you all every week and I don't

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Speaker 1: even throw in a goddamn drop, And that seems rude

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Speaker 1: and disrespectful. It feels opposite the way that this train

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Speaker 1: should be moving in. For that, I apologize. I owe

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Speaker 1: you all some drops, and I promise you they're gonna

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Speaker 1: be some drops today. That's right, there's gonna be some

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Speaker 1: hot ones coming in at you while I talk to

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Speaker 1: you about the theories that you, the listeners have sent

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Speaker 1: to me. And I have a fun theory that was

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Speaker 1: sent to me as an enjoyable one. I had quite

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Speaker 1: a time with it. A young lady named Sequoia sent

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Speaker 1: me a message, and I'm gonna play it for you all. Now, Hey, Lankston,

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Speaker 1: I've been thinking about this one for a while. So

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Speaker 1: my mama told me the Kardashians are witches. Now, does

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Speaker 1: it sound like she needs to be on Alex Jones podcast? Yes? Okay,

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Speaker 1: does she actually believe that they're like actual witches? Absolutely

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Speaker 1: fair enough. Have I gotten any more information from her

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Speaker 1: than just that statement. No, and I've asked her multiple times,

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Speaker 1: so hopefully you can do something with that. Anyways, I

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Speaker 1: love your podcast. I'm looking for an internship. But you

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Speaker 1: can pretend you didn't hear that. Okay, bye, Okay, Well,

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Speaker 1: first of all, thank you Sekoia for sending me this message.

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Speaker 1: I do not appreciate you desperately clawing for employment right

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Speaker 1: at the end of it. Yes, everyone's a fine message.

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Speaker 1: We could have gotten off on a good foot, but

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Speaker 1: then you said, please, I'm desperate for a job. I

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Speaker 1: eat bread with mold on it, and I I sleep outside.

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Speaker 1: Give me something so that I can survive. And now

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Speaker 1: I have a level of guilt cooking into this conversation,

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Speaker 1: guilt that I didn't feel before. But don't worry, Sekoia.

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Speaker 1: I'll forget all about that guilt as this podcast progresses,

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Speaker 1: within the next fifteen minutes or so, I'll forget that

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Speaker 1: you're poor and without employment, and I'll move on with

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Speaker 1: my life. I'll eat a full dinner and never think

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Speaker 1: twice about how hungry you probably we are. Anyway, in

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Speaker 1: regards to the Kardashians being witches, this is an exciting conversation.

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Speaker 1: I I don't know that I've ever heard anyone accused

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Speaker 1: the Kardashians of being which is. I've heard of them

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Speaker 1: being accused of being a lot of things, a lot

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Speaker 1: of horrible, derogatory things, some of those things I fully

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Speaker 1: agree with, But which is was never one of those things.

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Speaker 1: But let's break it down. Let's get into it, shall we.

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Speaker 1: I don't think the Kardashians require a lot of explaining.

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Speaker 1: I imagine most of my listeners, if you, if you

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Speaker 1: listen to me, you're at least somewhat familiar with the Kardashians,

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Speaker 1: But at the rare possibility, at the off chance that

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Speaker 1: you guys don't know who the Kardashians are. I would

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Speaker 1: say that the easiest way to explain the Kardashians is

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Speaker 1: that they're sort of like a very sexy special edition

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Speaker 1: of Plato. Do you know what I mean? Is it?

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Speaker 1: They're sort of like if the Hasbro Company decided to

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Speaker 1: put out some limited supply a Plato that wasn't really

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Speaker 1: meant for for fostering your child's creativity. What was more

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Speaker 1: for making them rock hard, just rock hard and way

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Speaker 1: less intelligent than they were when they started playing with

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Speaker 1: that Plato. That's that's about where the Kardashians live, I

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Speaker 1: think in in the the grander conversation of American culture. Now,

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Speaker 1: the Kardashians have made quite a splash, you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean. They've made a lot of money from television

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Speaker 1: and selling various products. However, I would say their most

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Speaker 1: famous ability is to seduce and ultimately ruin the lives

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Speaker 1: of black men. That's that's pretty much their bread and butter,

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Speaker 1: and that's how they get you. And some of the

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Speaker 1: most famous victims of the Kardashian curse include very important

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Speaker 1: people Kanye West, uh lamar odom Retching Bush, Chris Humphreys,

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Speaker 1: kind of Van Jones, who I would argue was probably

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Speaker 1: just as terrible as he is now before he got

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Speaker 1: involved with him. Blake Griffin, Tristan Thompson, and of course

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Speaker 1: Ben Simmons, who has never hit a single free throw

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Speaker 1: since eating Kendall Jenner out. Those are facts, ladies and gentlemen.

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Speaker 1: He ain't hit ship since he had that tight white

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Speaker 1: pussy in his mouth. Now, these people are objectively terrible.

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Speaker 1: You know, I'm not interested in getting into some heavy

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Speaker 1: debate about whether or not the Kardashians are good people.

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Speaker 1: They're not. They're awful, awful human beings. But that doesn't

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Speaker 1: mean that they're witches. There are plenty of terrible people

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Speaker 1: that are not witches, you know what I mean, Plenty

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Speaker 1: of just garbage. Haraldo Rivera is not a witch. That's

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Speaker 1: just a man who sends topless photos on Facebook. He

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Speaker 1: ain't a witch. He's just a weirdo with a with

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Speaker 1: a mustache of somebody who ties women to train tracks.

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Speaker 1: That's not that's not which behavior. That's that's just bold

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Speaker 1: choices as far as I'm concerned. So the question of

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Speaker 1: them being which has led me, I guess to the

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Speaker 1: question what are witches? Because without the definition of which is.

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Speaker 1: Without some sort of identification of which is out in society,

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Speaker 1: we can't really place which is or or the title

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Speaker 1: of which onto the Kardashians, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: And it's very confusing because sometimes I think which is

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Speaker 1: are described as like a lady with a broomstick and

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Speaker 1: a pointy hat and a bowl of stew cooking in

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Speaker 1: the corner that she never serves to anybody. And then

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Speaker 1: sometimes it's just a woman who learned to read a

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Speaker 1: few decades before men were comfortable with it. You know

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Speaker 1: what I mean. It's either here or there. It's either

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Speaker 1: you are the type of person who collects cat eyeballs

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Speaker 1: and uh stirs them into a cauldron, or bitch, you

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Speaker 1: do math and we don't care for that, so we're

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Speaker 1: gonna burn you. It's pretty crazy we're getting. We're getting

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Speaker 1: real mad at women for being like, don't beat me

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Speaker 1: and let me let me study. That's dude, was like,

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Speaker 1: fucking kill that lady. She sucks. She must be the

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Speaker 1: spawn of Satan if she doesn't want to be hit

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Speaker 1: for not cooking my dinner fast enough. Oh boy, men

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Speaker 1: are gonna have to deal with a lot when we

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Speaker 1: face our ultimate demise. This question of what our witches

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Speaker 1: led me to do some research and what I basically

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Speaker 1: found in looking up, which is it's been specifically white witches.

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Speaker 1: I want to be clear, I do consider the Kardashians white.

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Speaker 1: I know that there's a bit of a debate around

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Speaker 1: whether or not they're they're white, mostly because they're wearing

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Speaker 1: black face and they're partially I guess, uh, Lebanese. I

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Speaker 1: don't know, it changes depending on who you ask, but

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Speaker 1: they have some I guess Middle Eastern heritage. It don't

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Speaker 1: matter them bitches white to me, there's certainly a part

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Speaker 1: of the white lexicon, white culture, and they embrace whiteness

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Speaker 1: as much as possible. Simultaneously harboring destruction and chaos are

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Speaker 1: inserting destruction. Let's go with inserting destruction and chaos in

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Speaker 1: the black community. That said, in terms of white witches,

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Speaker 1: there are wickens, which I always thought I didn't know

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Speaker 1: a lot about wickens. I always thought wickens were just

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Speaker 1: like white women who didn't wash their hair every day,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean. But it turns out that

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Speaker 1: is actually a more it's more substantial than that. Wickens

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Speaker 1: are basically a modern pagan religion. Wickens have pretty varied practices, right,

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Speaker 1: They're not just like a single thing much in the

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Speaker 1: way that I guess Christianity isn't a single thing. Some

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Speaker 1: Christians they believe in sort of like loving thy neighbor

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Speaker 1: and and washing each other's feet. And then some Christians

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Speaker 1: believe that you should storm a capital building and uh

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Speaker 1: and murder the vice president because your daddy asked you too.

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Speaker 1: And he's not your real daddy, but he's your metaphorical daddy,

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Speaker 1: and sometimes you need a metaphorical daddy, and metaphorical daddy

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Speaker 1: maybe is more handsome than your real daddy. Who knows

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Speaker 1: either way. Christianity is complicated, and it seems to me

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Speaker 1: that the Wicca religion also seems to have quite a

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Speaker 1: bit of complexity to it as well. But at its core,

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Speaker 1: it seems that the the Wickens are really practicing. It's

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Speaker 1: a pagan religion, right, It's a modern pagan religion where

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Speaker 1: they're focused more on the earth as a god or

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Speaker 1: a thing worth worshiping more than sort of like a

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Speaker 1: deity in the sky, Which isn't to say that they

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Speaker 1: don't have gods. The Wickens tend to worship a female

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Speaker 1: god called Mother Goddess and a male god called horn God.

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Speaker 1: Clearly they prefer Mother Goddess over horn God. Just in

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Speaker 1: the language, you can kind of tell that they're They're

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Speaker 1: more Mommy's girls than Daddy's girls, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: Their holidays tend to be centered around phases of the moon, solstices,

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Speaker 1: and equinox is. Now, I don't know the difference between

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Speaker 1: solstices and equinoxes, but I also don't care, so I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna move past this part of the conversation. The origins

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Speaker 1: of Wicka only date back to a hundred years, which

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Speaker 1: I was surprised by. I thought this ship was like

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Speaker 1: super old, but nah, this ship is modernist. Fuck this

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Speaker 1: lady Margaret Murray, who wrote several books on medieval practices

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Speaker 1: and witch colts in nineteen twenty one, basically was the

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Speaker 1: first sort of like jumping off point for the Wicked religion. Now,

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Speaker 1: she wasn't calling it that back then. She was just

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Speaker 1: writing books about a bunch of stuff that she had

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Speaker 1: gathered in her research. Then in nineteen fifty four, this dude,

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Speaker 1: Gerald Gardner shows up and he started publishing other books

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Speaker 1: related to Margaret Murray's work, where he referred to those

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Speaker 1: those witch practices as wicka. This time he's spelling it

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Speaker 1: w I c A. That's just w I c A.

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Speaker 1: And then it isn't until nineteen sixty that some motherfucker's

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Speaker 1: come around and they spell at w I c c A. Then,

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Speaker 1: through this weird game of like forest telephone, just telephone

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Speaker 1: of people who are barefoot in the woods, they take

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Speaker 1: the fantasies that Gerald was writing about, because he's just

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Speaker 1: writing these these sort of fantastic novels, and they started

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Speaker 1: to treat that those fantastic novels as real life and

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Speaker 1: subsequently became the religion we know today. Now, how does

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Speaker 1: any of this transformation relate to the Kardashians. Thank you

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Speaker 1: for asking. It's important that you, the listeners, ask questions.

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Speaker 1: Stop just letting me ramble. Why don't you ever interject,

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Speaker 1: you stupid fux, Just interject, say something, Get involved in

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Speaker 1: this conversation, you pieces this ship. I'm sick and tired

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Speaker 1: of you just sitting there looking stupid while I while

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Speaker 1: I pour my heart out. How to call you something

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Speaker 1: ethnic and mean? Anyway, the point is the connecttion to

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Speaker 1: the Kardashians. What is the connection? The connection I don't

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Speaker 1: know what the connectiontion is, you stupid ship. Why would

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Speaker 1: you say it like that. Now I'm talking to me

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Speaker 1: the way I talk to you. Guys, It's going off

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Speaker 1: the rails fast. Let's jump back on board. In many ways,

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Speaker 1: the Kardashians are selling the exact same kind of fucked

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Speaker 1: up fantasy that my boy Gerald essentially was selling to

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Speaker 1: the world. There's no Book of Shadows, right, The Kardashians

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Speaker 1: don't have their own Book of Shadows. But in two

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Speaker 1: thousand and eleven, the Kardashian sisters did write a novel

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Speaker 1: called Dollhouse, which is about three quote unquote Hollywood sisters

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Speaker 1: who are very different in real life than the media

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Speaker 1: makes them seen. Moreover, these people have now become almost

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Speaker 1: religious like figures for many young people out in the world.

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Speaker 1: People worship the Kardashians like deities, and so it seems

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Speaker 1: well within the realm of possibility that the literature that

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Speaker 1: exists around these figures, be it something as shitty as

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Speaker 1: Dollhouse or any one of their memoirs, might eventually be

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Speaker 1: treated with a seriousness that some of us never intended,

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Speaker 1: subsequently spawning a group of people to believe that they

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Speaker 1: had a power in the world that they did not have,

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Speaker 1: or a a magic in the world that they should

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Speaker 1: not that that we know they didn't have. And then

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Speaker 1: those people who worship the Kardashians are gonna raise children

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Speaker 1: who worship the Kardashians, and their legend will grow even bigger,

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Speaker 1: ultimately creating a world where people grow up believing that

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Speaker 1: if they practice the religion where they fill their assholes

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Speaker 1: with speckle and sacrifice the lives of young black men,

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Speaker 1: they too can become powerhouses out in society. So do

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Speaker 1: I think that the Kardashians are witches? Perhaps a goddamn

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Speaker 1: lutely I do not, which is in in any traditional sense.

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Speaker 1: I don't believe that they're practicing magic and witchcraft. But

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Speaker 1: I think if you're willing to take any religion seriously,

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Speaker 1: then you should see the potential the Kardashians taking on

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Speaker 1: that kind of power and ultimately uh causing chaos out

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Speaker 1: in the world for generations to come. Yep, that's that's

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Speaker 1: my take on on those weird looking bitches. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Then some of them are cute, but you know, yeah,

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Speaker 1: there's a fiction to it that makes it hard to swallow. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: if you want me to unpack whether or not your

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Speaker 1: favorite people are spawn of satan. I don't know. Sometimes

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Speaker 1: these transitions out don't work as well as I planned.

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Speaker 1: If you want me to accuse your favorite celebrity of

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Speaker 1: stealing puppy noses and mixing them into soup, but then

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Speaker 1: please send me a message to please email me at

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Speaker 1: my Mama pod at gmail dot com. I would love

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Speaker 1: to hear from you. I yelled at you guys last week.

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Speaker 1: I called you all kinds of horrible names, but I

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Speaker 1: already kind of did that bit earlier in the podcast,

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Speaker 1: so I'll keep it cool this time. But I would

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Speaker 1: love to hear from you. Send me your messages, send

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Speaker 1: me your notes, just send me your sweet sweet compliments.

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Speaker 1: I'll blow you kisses over the internet. I probably won't,

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Speaker 1: um yea, I get uncomfortable, but either way, I'd love

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Speaker 1: to hear from you. And as always, like subscribe, do

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Speaker 1: the things you're supposed to do the podcast, get us

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Speaker 1: to that sweet thousand and oh more importantly, I already

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Speaker 1: did some of them, but I'm gonna leave y'all with

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Speaker 1: a few drops. I'm gonna get I'm gonna hit a

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Speaker 1: few of them and just surprise myself with what I touched.

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Speaker 1: Let's find out what this is please? Oh and this,

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Speaker 1: we don't say the N word around two year old?

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Speaker 1: Oh so if I pressed this together and then this, dude,

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Speaker 1: the funny. We don't say the N word around two

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Speaker 1: year old, that's fun. Okay, I did it. This was

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Speaker 1: awkward by motherfucking Mini years so many years so motherfucking

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Speaker 1: Mini ears so, motherfucking Mini so Mini episode Motherfucking Mini

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Speaker 1: EPISO