WEBVTT - How Men Think with Clayton Echard

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<v Speaker 1>We're taking you inside the mind of a man. This

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<v Speaker 1>is how Men Think and I heart radio podcast. Everyone.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm Clayton Agreed, and you may know me from season

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<v Speaker 2>eighteen of The Bachelorette and season twenty six of The Bachelor.

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<v Speaker 2>I am so happy to be a guest hosting Howman Think.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm going to answer all your questions and try to

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<v Speaker 2>help you understand how men think. But first, this is

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<v Speaker 2>eleven questions with Clayton, So let's get into it. So first,

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<v Speaker 2>question number one, what am I known for? Well, I

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<v Speaker 2>guess it really depends on who you ask. If you

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<v Speaker 2>were to asked the public, then what I just told

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<v Speaker 2>you for my intro would be how most people know me,

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<v Speaker 2>at least the majority from a number standpoint, but those

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<v Speaker 2>closest to me, my family and friends, would describe me

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<v Speaker 2>as someone who's goofy, hardworking, and passionate about creating change

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<v Speaker 2>in others' lives. Question two, who are you and your

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<v Speaker 2>personal life?

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<v Speaker 1>For me?

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<v Speaker 2>Personally, I'm an avid wellness advocate, so fitness, nutrition, mental health.

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<v Speaker 2>I really just like to wake up every day and

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<v Speaker 2>find a way that I cannot only better my mental health,

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<v Speaker 2>but better those mental health and states mental health states

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<v Speaker 2>of people around me, and being able to learn and

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<v Speaker 2>then also provide what I've learned to others as well.

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<v Speaker 2>I love going to the gym. I try to be

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<v Speaker 2>as active as I can, and I'm somewhat.

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<v Speaker 1>Of a nerd.

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<v Speaker 2>I now see knowledge as power. I'm a knowledge enthusiast.

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<v Speaker 2>I love to listen to podcasts. I love to watch

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<v Speaker 2>documentaries from time and time, and really just any way

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<v Speaker 2>that I can pick up on a new piece of knowledge.

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<v Speaker 2>One thing a day is what I challenge myself to learn.

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<v Speaker 2>At least it helps me better understand the world around

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<v Speaker 2>me because there is a lot of commonalities. There are

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<v Speaker 2>a lot out there. Three shows that I've been binge watching.

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<v Speaker 2>I do not watch a lot of television or shows,

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<v Speaker 2>but I will say that I still from time to

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<v Speaker 2>time will turn something on.

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<v Speaker 1>Susie and I.

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<v Speaker 2>Right now we are watching The man ti Tale documentary,

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<v Speaker 2>which was very, very fascinating. I definitely recommend people go

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<v Speaker 2>watch that if you know who he is. I think

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<v Speaker 2>that there was a lot that I was unaware of

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<v Speaker 2>until now, so it's really great to see the other

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<v Speaker 2>side because I formed a lot of judgments on him

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<v Speaker 2>without knowing the full story, So we've been watching that,

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<v Speaker 2>and then also Susie and I just finished I think

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<v Speaker 2>there was two Seasons of Love on the Spectrum and

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<v Speaker 2>that was an incredible show as well. It just was

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<v Speaker 2>very wholesome and so awesome to watch genuine love stories

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<v Speaker 2>occur on that show.

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<v Speaker 1>So those are just the two. I don't have a

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<v Speaker 1>full three to share with y'all.

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<v Speaker 2>My favorite food should be no surprise to any buddy

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<v Speaker 2>because I talk about it every third word that comes

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<v Speaker 2>out of my mouth. Essentially, it's to play, but I

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<v Speaker 2>also will put some other contenders in there. Pizza is

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<v Speaker 2>another one most people know as well that I'm big

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<v Speaker 2>into and food tie food is actually something in the

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<v Speaker 2>last year that I have been very, very.

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<v Speaker 1>Big into talking about my career.

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<v Speaker 2>Question number five, well, I hate to just use the

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<v Speaker 2>word entrepreneur, but I do a little bit of everything

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<v Speaker 2>right now, is I guess the best way to put it.

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<v Speaker 2>For one, I'm a mental health speaker, and so I'm

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<v Speaker 2>really trying to effectively target the youth demographic right now

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<v Speaker 2>to just destigmatize the conversations around mental health. I really

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<v Speaker 2>want to change the framework of how our youth views

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<v Speaker 2>mental health not as something that is embarrassing to speak about,

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<v Speaker 2>but something that can be empowering and hopefully be able

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<v Speaker 2>to help them get a better grasp on it so

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<v Speaker 2>that they can view life in a more positive manner

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<v Speaker 2>and so that we don't see stress, anxiety, and depression

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<v Speaker 2>continue to be to have a hole on our youth,

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<v Speaker 2>so big and passionate about that and hoping to continue

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<v Speaker 2>that and see where I can impact the most individuals

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<v Speaker 2>in that realm. I also am going to be an

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<v Speaker 2>author here eventually working on a book for mental health,

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<v Speaker 2>again tailored to that audience as well. So I'm currently

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<v Speaker 2>writing a book, and then I also am working on

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<v Speaker 2>a right to do online wellness coaching. When fitness and

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<v Speaker 2>nutrition training, I do one on one coaching with clients,

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<v Speaker 2>so pouring into those avenues and then there's other few

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<v Speaker 2>other things on the side that we'll just see where

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<v Speaker 2>they go. I like to always challenge myself to do

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<v Speaker 2>more in every area of my life. My biggest fear

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<v Speaker 2>in life, that's that's a great question. I would say,

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<v Speaker 2>it's not living up to my potential and kind of

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<v Speaker 2>parlaying into that as well, it's falling into a place

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<v Speaker 2>of complacency. I've been there before, but also not losing

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<v Speaker 2>confidence in myself. I've struggled with confidence for a great

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<v Speaker 2>deal in my life, and now that I have really

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<v Speaker 2>seemingly become much more confident in who I am, I

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<v Speaker 2>just want to make sure that I never lose sight

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<v Speaker 2>of that. And if I weren't able to be the

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<v Speaker 2>person that I think I could be, I think if

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<v Speaker 2>I look back at it at the end of it all,

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<v Speaker 2>that would be really scary. I think that would be

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<v Speaker 2>a definition of hell is if I could see my ultimate,

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<v Speaker 2>full potential self standing in front of me that and

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<v Speaker 2>I never made it to that point, that would be

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<v Speaker 2>my own true health. So that's my biggest fear in life.

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<v Speaker 1>By far. My biggest pet.

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<v Speaker 2>Peeve would probably be closed minded individuals that just yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>aren't willing to see things from another perspective or viewpoint.

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<v Speaker 2>I will also caveat that by saying that I was

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<v Speaker 2>very close a much more close minded of an individual

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<v Speaker 2>than I am now, so that I've learned over the

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<v Speaker 2>last half year or so to see things from the

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<v Speaker 2>other side, and that willingness, I think will open people

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<v Speaker 2>up and help them have a better understanding of the

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<v Speaker 2>world around them and lead them to being a happier person.

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<v Speaker 2>So you know, I give people leeway if they're still

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<v Speaker 2>close minded. I just hope that they'll at least be

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<v Speaker 2>willing to have the conversations to hopefully change their perspective.

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<v Speaker 2>What makes me the most happy our relationships to my

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<v Speaker 2>friends and family, Susie in particular as well. Without them,

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<v Speaker 2>my life has a purpose, but they're the ones that

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<v Speaker 2>keep me going through through it all. So I couldn't

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<v Speaker 2>imagine a life without those people in my corner. They

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<v Speaker 2>have pushed me through the darkest of times, and just

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<v Speaker 2>the thought of them brings me so much joy to

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<v Speaker 2>know that I have such a strong support system that

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<v Speaker 2>has guided me through a lot of darkness.

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<v Speaker 1>What's my ideal Saturday morning?

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<v Speaker 2>Well, when weeks are hectic and I'm on my computer

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<v Speaker 2>ten hours a day, or traveling and doing these events

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<v Speaker 2>and such, then my ideal Saturday morning would really just

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<v Speaker 2>be being able to wake up without my alarm going

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<v Speaker 2>off at five point thirty in the morning like it

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<v Speaker 2>always does, not being able to set that timer or

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<v Speaker 2>that alarm, and just waking up and not really having

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<v Speaker 2>anything on the agenda. It's a really great time for

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<v Speaker 2>me to decompress and relax, and I like to sit

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<v Speaker 2>in a place of nothingness at least for the morning,

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<v Speaker 2>and just yeah, take that time to focus on myself

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<v Speaker 2>and kind of clearing the hard drive in my head

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<v Speaker 2>and clearing space for the upcoming week. But I also

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<v Speaker 2>love sometimes to be on the road and traveling. So

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<v Speaker 2>waking up in a new city experiencing a new culture

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<v Speaker 2>with SUSI, that's also an ideal morning. So it always

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<v Speaker 2>always depends. Am I more of an athlete or an

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<v Speaker 2>armchair quarterback? I would say I'm still an athlete. I

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<v Speaker 2>just actually was at a basketball term at three on

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<v Speaker 2>three over the weekend.

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<v Speaker 1>Granted, I was the.

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<v Speaker 2>Worst player on the team of the four individuals that

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<v Speaker 2>we had, but the other three one was a former

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<v Speaker 2>NBA player and another two were former D one college

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<v Speaker 2>basketball players. So I'll give myself some lee when I

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<v Speaker 2>played some good defense. I'm twenty nine years old. I'm

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<v Speaker 2>not that old, so I still think I have some

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<v Speaker 2>ability in me. What keeps me motivated? The final question

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<v Speaker 2>question eleven such a great one ask.

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<v Speaker 1>For me? What keeps me.

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<v Speaker 2>Motivated is the thought of, or the fear I should say,

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<v Speaker 2>of not being able to provide for my future family?

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<v Speaker 2>So with everything that I've ever done, I've always kept

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<v Speaker 2>in mind wanting to establish a sense of financial stability,

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<v Speaker 2>in a sense that I would be able to provide

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<v Speaker 2>for my family so that they would be able to

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<v Speaker 2>have a life similar to what I had growing up.

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<v Speaker 1>My parents did a great.

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<v Speaker 2>Job of that, but at the end of the day,

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<v Speaker 2>I know that I will be able to provide that.

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<v Speaker 2>I think fears can actually be a very positive thing

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<v Speaker 2>to drive US's so as long as we don't dwell

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<v Speaker 2>in it and let it over overwhelm us. But for me,

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<v Speaker 2>that fear keeps me going, and that's what keeps me

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<v Speaker 2>motivated to do it. Also, there was a lengthy eleven questions.

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<v Speaker 2>Everyone that knows me knows I love to talk. So

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<v Speaker 2>we made it through. But stick around.

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<v Speaker 1>We'll be right back after the short break.

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<v Speaker 2>All right, everybody, welcome back to how men think. We

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<v Speaker 2>are at the segments where we will now take some

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<v Speaker 2>live callers. So, without further ado, let's bring them in

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<v Speaker 2>and answer these questions the best of our ability.

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, Sydney, how's it going today?

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<v Speaker 3>Hey it's going okay.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, okay.

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<v Speaker 2>We'll start with okay, if I can ask you, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>what's Uh, you have a question for me today, So

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<v Speaker 2>go ahead and dive right in, and let's ask away,

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<v Speaker 2>and let's let's talk and talk about it.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, thanks so much. So I guess my question is

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<v Speaker 3>I tend to travel a lot for work, and I

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<v Speaker 3>have well a lot of times I travel with the

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<v Speaker 3>same male co worker. Okay, I spend a lot of

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<v Speaker 3>time with this guy, so naturally he comes up in

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<v Speaker 3>conversations a lot, just inevitably. But my boyfriend now claims

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<v Speaker 3>to not like him, and he thinks that he may

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<v Speaker 3>have bad intentions.

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<v Speaker 4>So how do I.

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<v Speaker 3>Reassure my boyfriend that it's strictly a working relationship and

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<v Speaker 3>there's nothing more going on.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, that's a that's a really great question, And

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<v Speaker 2>I think I think the biggest thing My first question

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<v Speaker 2>is is has there has he in your eyes? Has

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<v Speaker 2>there ever been a moment where he maybe crossed the

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<v Speaker 2>line or something that you brought to your boyfriend and

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<v Speaker 2>that might have started to foster or started to foster

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<v Speaker 2>the idea of this guy possibly crossing the line and

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<v Speaker 2>not being someone.

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<v Speaker 1>That he wants you to be around.

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<v Speaker 2>Has there been an instance where you've felt that and

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<v Speaker 2>maybe shared with him, or is this just kind of

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<v Speaker 2>come out of left field.

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<v Speaker 4>I mean, I think it.

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<v Speaker 3>There's not been an instance like that, but it's more

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<v Speaker 3>I think that I just talk about him maybe more

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<v Speaker 3>than I should, just because he's there for these travels

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<v Speaker 3>that I'm doing. So when I'm updating my boyfriend on

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<v Speaker 3>what's going on and what I'm doing when I'm out

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<v Speaker 3>of town, he's there.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>Absolutely, And I think when it comes to like, coworkers

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<v Speaker 2>are going to be there, and they're going to be

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<v Speaker 2>they're a part of your life. But I think the

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<v Speaker 2>big thing that's important to always distinguish is that yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>there is there isn't anything there more than just that

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<v Speaker 2>working relationship. And maybe you guys are friends in that matter,

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<v Speaker 2>and that should be okay. I think there is sometimes

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<v Speaker 2>the insecurity of having you know, your significant other be

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<v Speaker 2>around people of the opposite sex, and that could be

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<v Speaker 2>seen to be scary to that individual. I think the

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<v Speaker 2>best thing that we can do is just reassure our partners,

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<v Speaker 2>let them know that, hey, listen, you have nothing to

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<v Speaker 2>worry about. You know, we're just we're just coworkers. Like

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<v Speaker 2>he obviously is around me, but like he's never he's

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<v Speaker 2>never crossed the line. If he ever did, I would

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<v Speaker 2>certainly let you know, and I'd put my foot down,

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<v Speaker 2>I think, reassuring your partner that you're there's nothing to

0:12:32.400 --> 0:12:37.119
<v Speaker 2>worry about, but also acknowledging as well, you know, their concerns.

0:12:37.240 --> 0:12:41.360
<v Speaker 2>I think it's always important that we validate because their

0:12:41.360 --> 0:12:44.360
<v Speaker 2>concerns are important to them, whether or not we agree

0:12:44.360 --> 0:12:46.000
<v Speaker 2>with them as a separate matter. But one thing that

0:12:46.040 --> 0:12:49.360
<v Speaker 2>I've definitely learned is that it's important to them. Nonetheless,

0:12:49.360 --> 0:12:51.720
<v Speaker 2>it's a fear of theirs, and if we love that individual,

0:12:51.760 --> 0:12:54.000
<v Speaker 2>if we care about them, then we have to really

0:12:54.520 --> 0:12:58.000
<v Speaker 2>like give that fear weight. We have to hold it

0:12:58.080 --> 0:13:03.040
<v Speaker 2>and be mindful of it and just let him know, like, hey,

0:13:03.080 --> 0:13:06.120
<v Speaker 2>you know, I understand that you're concerned about this. I

0:13:06.120 --> 0:13:08.440
<v Speaker 2>can promise you no lines have been crossed. I love

0:13:08.440 --> 0:13:11.120
<v Speaker 2>you to death, and if ever that were to be

0:13:11.160 --> 0:13:13.120
<v Speaker 2>the case, then I would let you know. But maybe

0:13:13.200 --> 0:13:16.000
<v Speaker 2>also too, I don't know if it's possible, but maybe

0:13:16.080 --> 0:13:19.040
<v Speaker 2>you know, y'all could all meet at some point, whether

0:13:19.080 --> 0:13:21.280
<v Speaker 2>it just like if it just happens casually, I'm not

0:13:21.800 --> 0:13:23.160
<v Speaker 2>if you have the ability to do so.

0:13:23.880 --> 0:13:29.000
<v Speaker 1>I think him just meeting him possibly and being.

0:13:28.840 --> 0:13:31.760
<v Speaker 2>Less of an unknown. The unknown scares us, I think

0:13:31.760 --> 0:13:35.000
<v Speaker 2>as individuals, so the more that we know about a situation,

0:13:35.120 --> 0:13:38.320
<v Speaker 2>the more comfortable we are with it. So I think

0:13:38.360 --> 0:13:40.600
<v Speaker 2>that could also be an avenue to explore as well

0:13:40.760 --> 0:13:43.480
<v Speaker 2>as uh, just being able to kind of all three

0:13:43.520 --> 0:13:46.000
<v Speaker 2>meet up at some point. If it's a work event

0:13:46.040 --> 0:13:48.320
<v Speaker 2>and you just like, hey, I'm gonna bring my boyfriend along,

0:13:49.280 --> 0:13:51.800
<v Speaker 2>that might be a really great way to just break

0:13:51.840 --> 0:13:54.720
<v Speaker 2>that ice, to kind of casually just soften the fear

0:13:54.800 --> 0:13:56.679
<v Speaker 2>and say, Okay, hey, listen, like this is who it is.

0:13:56.679 --> 0:13:58.480
<v Speaker 2>Like you guys get to know each other, and then

0:13:58.679 --> 0:14:02.520
<v Speaker 2>the better understanding of this coworker that he maybe doesn't

0:14:02.559 --> 0:14:04.640
<v Speaker 2>know well, the more he knows, I think, the more

0:14:04.679 --> 0:14:05.400
<v Speaker 2>comfortable will be.

0:14:06.640 --> 0:14:08.240
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, that totally makes sense.

0:14:08.280 --> 0:14:12.880
<v Speaker 1>Thank you absolutely. Hey Mikayla, how's it going.

0:14:14.080 --> 0:14:16.600
<v Speaker 4>I'm okay. How are you I'm.

0:14:16.400 --> 0:14:17.240
<v Speaker 1>Doing I'm doing well.

0:14:17.440 --> 0:14:21.640
<v Speaker 2>I'm excited to hopefully provide a little insight for your question,

0:14:21.800 --> 0:14:22.840
<v Speaker 2>but but lay it on me.

0:14:22.880 --> 0:14:24.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm curious what you got for me today.

0:14:26.040 --> 0:14:29.160
<v Speaker 4>Okay. So, my husband and I we've been married for

0:14:29.680 --> 0:14:35.000
<v Speaker 4>like two issues, and one of the main arguments we

0:14:35.040 --> 0:14:38.480
<v Speaker 4>always have is how much he's always on his phone,

0:14:38.840 --> 0:14:42.120
<v Speaker 4>like he's just like NonStop on his phone playing video games,

0:14:42.440 --> 0:14:46.760
<v Speaker 4>group chats with his bros. You know, constant like social

0:14:46.800 --> 0:14:50.880
<v Speaker 4>media scrolling. He's like totally addicted. And like I've told

0:14:50.960 --> 0:14:53.280
<v Speaker 4>him before how much it bothers me because it happens

0:14:53.840 --> 0:14:56.400
<v Speaker 4>during dinner, on trips, you know, like when we're in

0:14:56.400 --> 0:14:59.320
<v Speaker 4>the middle of a conversation. So I just want to know, like,

0:15:00.040 --> 0:15:03.120
<v Speaker 4>how can I get my point across about my feelings

0:15:03.720 --> 0:15:05.840
<v Speaker 4>about how much it bothers me so that he like

0:15:06.040 --> 0:15:06.720
<v Speaker 4>gets it.

0:15:06.920 --> 0:15:10.240
<v Speaker 1>You know, Yeah, great question.

0:15:10.320 --> 0:15:13.040
<v Speaker 2>And I think, gosh, if this one hits home because

0:15:13.200 --> 0:15:16.880
<v Speaker 2>I had a very similar conversation with Susie.

0:15:17.600 --> 0:15:19.280
<v Speaker 1>I think that two things.

0:15:19.360 --> 0:15:24.160
<v Speaker 2>One, with any conversation that we have or think something

0:15:24.200 --> 0:15:26.720
<v Speaker 2>that we want to get across to our partner, I

0:15:26.720 --> 0:15:28.560
<v Speaker 2>think we always need to be able to bring it

0:15:28.600 --> 0:15:31.600
<v Speaker 2>in a way where it never seems like it's an attack.

0:15:31.760 --> 0:15:35.200
<v Speaker 2>So going in being calm as we enter the discussion

0:15:35.200 --> 0:15:36.960
<v Speaker 2>and say, you know, hey, listen, I just want to

0:15:36.960 --> 0:15:38.280
<v Speaker 2>sit down and talk with you for a second. You

0:15:38.320 --> 0:15:41.200
<v Speaker 2>got a moment, and then say, you know, I just

0:15:41.200 --> 0:15:43.440
<v Speaker 2>want to bring something up to you that's been bothering me,

0:15:44.240 --> 0:15:47.800
<v Speaker 2>and it sounds like you've expressed it prior. But I

0:15:47.840 --> 0:15:53.120
<v Speaker 2>think again, I can't speak on all men. I never

0:15:53.200 --> 0:15:56.240
<v Speaker 2>like to use absolutes and say everybody's this way. But

0:15:56.600 --> 0:15:59.640
<v Speaker 2>he maybe you know this is he is he a

0:15:59.680 --> 0:16:02.560
<v Speaker 2>rash thinker, as he kind of he's looking to always

0:16:02.560 --> 0:16:05.360
<v Speaker 2>solve a problem. I mean, is that kind of how

0:16:05.400 --> 0:16:09.600
<v Speaker 2>he typically is when you bring him, you know, problems.

0:16:09.640 --> 0:16:12.960
<v Speaker 2>Is he always looking to find an answer or is

0:16:12.960 --> 0:16:13.880
<v Speaker 2>that typically how it goes?

0:16:13.920 --> 0:16:14.640
<v Speaker 1>I'm just curious.

0:16:15.960 --> 0:16:19.200
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I mean yeah, most of the time he's pretty natural.

0:16:19.400 --> 0:16:22.120
<v Speaker 2>Okay, Yeah, And so that's good for me to know

0:16:22.200 --> 0:16:25.240
<v Speaker 2>because that's that's similar to how I operate. And something

0:16:25.240 --> 0:16:28.880
<v Speaker 2>that I learned food with Susie is that oftentimes she

0:16:28.960 --> 0:16:33.120
<v Speaker 2>doesn't want a solution her problem. She just wants support.

0:16:33.440 --> 0:16:36.720
<v Speaker 2>And so but we sometimes as men, at least some men,

0:16:36.840 --> 0:16:40.320
<v Speaker 2>will look to find a solution to the problem. So

0:16:41.000 --> 0:16:44.520
<v Speaker 2>I think keeping that in mind if I were in

0:16:44.560 --> 0:16:48.480
<v Speaker 2>your spot shoes, is to understand that perspective that, Okay,

0:16:48.480 --> 0:16:52.080
<v Speaker 2>if that's bothering you, he may be in his head thinking, well,

0:16:52.120 --> 0:16:56.600
<v Speaker 2>how can I how can we solve this? So that's

0:16:56.640 --> 0:16:58.240
<v Speaker 2>where I think it's it's a matter of how can

0:16:58.280 --> 0:17:00.680
<v Speaker 2>we get to that point? So when you talk with him,

0:17:01.000 --> 0:17:04.760
<v Speaker 2>it's about not seeming accusatorious or coming after him and

0:17:04.880 --> 0:17:07.520
<v Speaker 2>raising our tone, but staying calm the entire time and

0:17:07.560 --> 0:17:09.160
<v Speaker 2>then just say, hey, listen, like, this is something that's

0:17:09.160 --> 0:17:11.760
<v Speaker 2>been bothering me, you know, but I'd like to find

0:17:12.119 --> 0:17:15.359
<v Speaker 2>a solution to this problem, like do you And what

0:17:15.400 --> 0:17:18.000
<v Speaker 2>would that look like? And I think just having that

0:17:18.440 --> 0:17:23.440
<v Speaker 2>discussion and keeping it open and honest and just maybe

0:17:23.800 --> 0:17:25.480
<v Speaker 2>I don't know what that looks like for you all.

0:17:25.960 --> 0:17:29.720
<v Speaker 2>Susane and I tried to set aside two hours every

0:17:29.800 --> 0:17:31.720
<v Speaker 2>night where we put our phones down and we didn't

0:17:31.720 --> 0:17:33.760
<v Speaker 2>pick them back up, and so we would put our

0:17:33.800 --> 0:17:36.760
<v Speaker 2>phones in another room and it worked actually fairly well

0:17:36.800 --> 0:17:39.360
<v Speaker 2>for us. But I think it's a matter of kind

0:17:39.359 --> 0:17:41.560
<v Speaker 2>of from a guy's perspective, it's to go, okay, if

0:17:41.560 --> 0:17:43.120
<v Speaker 2>here's if this is a problem, how do we find

0:17:43.119 --> 0:17:46.080
<v Speaker 2>a solution? So I think that's the way that he

0:17:46.240 --> 0:17:50.760
<v Speaker 2>might be viewing it. And if you're just if you

0:17:50.840 --> 0:17:53.119
<v Speaker 2>go to him and that nature and say, hey, listen,

0:17:53.160 --> 0:17:55.200
<v Speaker 2>like I just want to fix I'm looking to find

0:17:55.320 --> 0:17:57.239
<v Speaker 2>kind of this an answer to this because I want

0:17:57.280 --> 0:17:58.760
<v Speaker 2>us to be happy. I don't want this to be

0:17:58.840 --> 0:18:03.040
<v Speaker 2>something that orther puts, you know, distance between us, and

0:18:03.080 --> 0:18:07.440
<v Speaker 2>I think saying it that way will respect him as well,

0:18:07.480 --> 0:18:09.320
<v Speaker 2>and it won't seem like an attack like I want

0:18:09.320 --> 0:18:11.040
<v Speaker 2>you to get off your phone and stop talking to

0:18:11.119 --> 0:18:13.560
<v Speaker 2>your friends. Because those things that he's doing, you know,

0:18:13.600 --> 0:18:17.359
<v Speaker 2>he's placing value in and and with the group chat

0:18:17.359 --> 0:18:19.960
<v Speaker 2>with the boys. You know, that's that to him brings

0:18:20.040 --> 0:18:22.560
<v Speaker 2>him happiness. So he obviously doesn't want to maybe rid

0:18:22.640 --> 0:18:25.080
<v Speaker 2>himself completely of it, but there's a way to.

0:18:25.040 --> 0:18:27.000
<v Speaker 1>Find balance, and I think that's just where it's a

0:18:27.000 --> 0:18:29.440
<v Speaker 1>matter of like let's sit down and have a conversation

0:18:29.560 --> 0:18:32.560
<v Speaker 1>and try to figure out where that balance is. Does

0:18:32.600 --> 0:18:33.280
<v Speaker 1>that hopefully help?

0:18:33.960 --> 0:18:34.200
<v Speaker 5>Yeah?

0:18:34.440 --> 0:18:35.560
<v Speaker 4>No, that's great, Thank you?

0:18:35.920 --> 0:18:41.200
<v Speaker 1>Okay, perfect? Hey Kaye, it's Clayton. How you doing.

0:18:42.640 --> 0:18:44.680
<v Speaker 4>Hey good? How are you good?

0:18:44.680 --> 0:18:46.720
<v Speaker 1>And I'm doing great? What do you got for me?

0:18:46.760 --> 0:18:48.639
<v Speaker 2>I got these questions are coming in hot right now,

0:18:48.680 --> 0:18:51.760
<v Speaker 2>so hopefully I I'll give you my my my best answer.

0:18:51.800 --> 0:18:54.520
<v Speaker 2>But yeah, shoot, shoot, let's let's hear what you got

0:18:54.520 --> 0:18:55.080
<v Speaker 2>for a question.

0:18:56.040 --> 0:18:59.520
<v Speaker 6>Okay, thank you so much. This is really way I'm

0:18:59.560 --> 0:19:03.560
<v Speaker 6>going on me. So, my boyfriend of three years and

0:19:03.600 --> 0:19:09.160
<v Speaker 6>I moved in together probably a year ago. But he

0:19:09.280 --> 0:19:14.679
<v Speaker 6>just got this incredible job opportunity in another state, okay,

0:19:15.359 --> 0:19:19.200
<v Speaker 6>and I can't leave our current state because of my job.

0:19:20.000 --> 0:19:23.600
<v Speaker 6>And I really like my job. But I worry that

0:19:23.840 --> 0:19:27.800
<v Speaker 6>if he moves like our relationship isn't going to survive

0:19:28.000 --> 0:19:32.439
<v Speaker 6>the move. And so I'm really worried about that. I

0:19:32.440 --> 0:19:36.760
<v Speaker 6>have two questions, how do we make long distance work

0:19:37.040 --> 0:19:38.200
<v Speaker 6>if he takes the job?

0:19:38.560 --> 0:19:39.120
<v Speaker 4>I hear so.

0:19:39.160 --> 0:19:45.040
<v Speaker 6>Many things about that. And two, is there a time

0:19:45.119 --> 0:19:48.240
<v Speaker 6>limit that we should put on it to either live

0:19:48.320 --> 0:19:51.399
<v Speaker 6>together again or break up? Because I don't want to

0:19:51.440 --> 0:19:53.840
<v Speaker 6>waste my time don't want to waste his time.

0:19:55.840 --> 0:19:58.960
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? Absolutely so, I think For one, I just wanted to.

0:19:59.000 --> 0:20:02.280
<v Speaker 2>Acknowledge that think that your your fear and concern is

0:20:02.600 --> 0:20:06.280
<v Speaker 2>very valid because that is a question that everybody does.

0:20:06.440 --> 0:20:09.040
<v Speaker 2>A lot of people have when a long distance becomes

0:20:09.080 --> 0:20:12.680
<v Speaker 2>a part of the equation, especially when you're together and

0:20:12.720 --> 0:20:17.879
<v Speaker 2>then you separate for a portion of time. I currently, again,

0:20:17.960 --> 0:20:20.679
<v Speaker 2>this one hits home as well in my in my

0:20:20.760 --> 0:20:22.640
<v Speaker 2>day to day. Right now, Susie and I are going

0:20:22.680 --> 0:20:24.520
<v Speaker 2>to be living separately just for a short period of

0:20:24.560 --> 0:20:28.320
<v Speaker 2>time while I look for a house. But I think

0:20:28.480 --> 0:20:32.320
<v Speaker 2>and then she'll move back in but with that we

0:20:32.400 --> 0:20:34.600
<v Speaker 2>had that same fear. Right we talked about it, like

0:20:34.640 --> 0:20:37.399
<v Speaker 2>what if this ends up being something that ends up

0:20:37.400 --> 0:20:40.200
<v Speaker 2>being a negative outcome for us and breaks us up.

0:20:40.840 --> 0:20:44.600
<v Speaker 2>And I think the big thing that we realized or

0:20:44.720 --> 0:20:48.400
<v Speaker 2>told ourselves is let's not let that fear overtake us

0:20:48.480 --> 0:20:51.919
<v Speaker 2>and tell it becomes a concern we both are. We

0:20:52.000 --> 0:20:54.560
<v Speaker 2>both are in the position where like we're conscious of it,

0:20:55.000 --> 0:20:58.119
<v Speaker 2>but we're chasing our dreams, our aspirations. We're taking this

0:20:58.280 --> 0:21:01.800
<v Speaker 2>time to separate for the short period of time that

0:21:01.840 --> 0:21:04.600
<v Speaker 2>will be apart. But yes, I do believe that it

0:21:04.640 --> 0:21:09.040
<v Speaker 2>is great to put to like put in a marker

0:21:09.160 --> 0:21:11.320
<v Speaker 2>or a point where you're like, okay, we will end

0:21:11.400 --> 0:21:15.159
<v Speaker 2>up living together here, whether it's a month.

0:21:14.880 --> 0:21:16.600
<v Speaker 1>Away, three months away, a year.

0:21:17.080 --> 0:21:19.320
<v Speaker 2>But having a plan, I think it's so important that

0:21:19.359 --> 0:21:22.399
<v Speaker 2>you have a plan in place, because just establishing a

0:21:22.440 --> 0:21:25.119
<v Speaker 2>plan will start to quell some of that fear instead

0:21:25.160 --> 0:21:27.840
<v Speaker 2>of just thinking, well, we just moved to different states

0:21:27.880 --> 0:21:29.360
<v Speaker 2>and I don't even.

0:21:29.200 --> 0:21:30.920
<v Speaker 1>Know what we're going to do a month from now.

0:21:31.359 --> 0:21:34.080
<v Speaker 2>So if you establish that plan, that will help I

0:21:34.080 --> 0:21:36.400
<v Speaker 2>think keep the concern at bay.

0:21:37.000 --> 0:21:38.200
<v Speaker 1>Long distance does work.

0:21:38.640 --> 0:21:42.240
<v Speaker 2>I mean, there's examples of people successful marriages that did

0:21:42.280 --> 0:21:46.119
<v Speaker 2>long distance for years, so it is doable, and I

0:21:46.160 --> 0:21:49.280
<v Speaker 2>think also having that action plan in place.

0:21:49.720 --> 0:21:50.879
<v Speaker 1>But if you're going to do the.

0:21:50.880 --> 0:21:54.760
<v Speaker 2>Long distance, I do still think you can't replace being

0:21:55.840 --> 0:22:00.119
<v Speaker 2>in an environment with somebody physically. So I think as

0:22:00.160 --> 0:22:02.320
<v Speaker 2>I was in one of my past relationships, I did

0:22:02.359 --> 0:22:06.199
<v Speaker 2>long distance and what worked was we found time to

0:22:06.400 --> 0:22:09.679
<v Speaker 2>fly out and see each other. And so taking that

0:22:09.800 --> 0:22:12.640
<v Speaker 2>time to budget. What's that look like if we fly

0:22:12.760 --> 0:22:14.840
<v Speaker 2>out once a month, do we set that up on

0:22:14.880 --> 0:22:17.640
<v Speaker 2>the schedule right away? Do we plan weeks in advance,

0:22:18.160 --> 0:22:23.160
<v Speaker 2>so when we go our separate ways and live separately,

0:22:23.680 --> 0:22:26.440
<v Speaker 2>we already know that in the next two months, every

0:22:26.480 --> 0:22:30.560
<v Speaker 2>two weeks there's already a flight scheduled to see each other.

0:22:32.119 --> 0:22:36.240
<v Speaker 2>I think establishing a plan and doing that well again,

0:22:36.280 --> 0:22:39.200
<v Speaker 2>I think that's what I would suggest you all do

0:22:40.240 --> 0:22:44.960
<v Speaker 2>because it's taking the initiative to continue to nurture that relationship.

0:22:45.000 --> 0:22:47.639
<v Speaker 2>I think it's great that you guys both have incredible

0:22:47.720 --> 0:22:51.800
<v Speaker 2>jobs and that right now you too see it as well.

0:22:51.840 --> 0:22:56.640
<v Speaker 2>We don't want to not take our dream job because

0:22:56.640 --> 0:22:57.480
<v Speaker 2>of someone else.

0:22:58.480 --> 0:22:58.960
<v Speaker 1>But here's the.

0:22:58.960 --> 0:23:01.280
<v Speaker 2>Thing again, I think think it's again just being mindful

0:23:01.400 --> 0:23:03.760
<v Speaker 2>working together through devising a plan of how can we

0:23:03.840 --> 0:23:05.800
<v Speaker 2>make this work? And then if it ever gets to

0:23:05.840 --> 0:23:08.840
<v Speaker 2>the point where one of you realizes that it's either

0:23:09.200 --> 0:23:12.320
<v Speaker 2>the job or the relationship, then I think someone has

0:23:12.359 --> 0:23:14.800
<v Speaker 2>to compromise. And sometimes that is just the point in

0:23:14.840 --> 0:23:16.240
<v Speaker 2>our lives where we have to say, well, what's more

0:23:16.240 --> 0:23:18.959
<v Speaker 2>important to us this job or our partner, and if

0:23:19.000 --> 0:23:21.600
<v Speaker 2>it's meant to be, if that person's special, then ultimately

0:23:21.640 --> 0:23:25.200
<v Speaker 2>you'll choose that partner. But again that's down the road.

0:23:25.240 --> 0:23:27.119
<v Speaker 2>I think right now, there's a lot of what ifs,

0:23:27.880 --> 0:23:29.679
<v Speaker 2>and we can't be dwelling in the what if. What

0:23:29.760 --> 0:23:32.560
<v Speaker 2>we can do, though, is establish a plan so that

0:23:32.600 --> 0:23:35.120
<v Speaker 2>we can give ourselves the best chance at bake at

0:23:35.119 --> 0:23:36.840
<v Speaker 2>making both realities exist.

0:23:37.560 --> 0:23:39.560
<v Speaker 6>Does that help so much?

0:23:40.000 --> 0:23:40.960
<v Speaker 4>Thank you so much.

0:23:41.040 --> 0:23:43.600
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, it's good to know that other people are going

0:23:43.640 --> 0:23:44.199
<v Speaker 6>through it, so.

0:23:44.359 --> 0:23:46.879
<v Speaker 1>Gad I'm right there with you. So yeah. Absolutely. I

0:23:46.920 --> 0:23:48.320
<v Speaker 1>wish you nothing but the best and thank you for

0:23:48.359 --> 0:23:48.760
<v Speaker 1>the question.

0:23:49.440 --> 0:23:50.080
<v Speaker 6>Thanks Clayton.

0:23:52.160 --> 0:23:54.679
<v Speaker 1>Hey, Michelle, it's Clayton a great. How you doing Hi?

0:23:54.840 --> 0:23:56.880
<v Speaker 1>I'm good. How are you good? I'm doing great.

0:23:56.880 --> 0:23:58.320
<v Speaker 2>I don't know why I just told you my last name,

0:23:58.359 --> 0:24:00.639
<v Speaker 2>but I'll try to make it a bit less and

0:24:01.000 --> 0:24:04.840
<v Speaker 2>uh less formal here going forward. So okay, thank you,

0:24:05.520 --> 0:24:07.760
<v Speaker 2>thank you for hoping on here today, and yeah.

0:24:07.640 --> 0:24:09.280
<v Speaker 1>I go ahead and shoot shoot with the question. I'm

0:24:09.280 --> 0:24:11.640
<v Speaker 1>curious what you got for me? Sure. Yeah.

0:24:11.680 --> 0:24:15.480
<v Speaker 5>So I've been best kind of best friends, I would say,

0:24:15.520 --> 0:24:17.000
<v Speaker 5>with this guy for about nine.

0:24:16.880 --> 0:24:24.400
<v Speaker 7>Years, and I I've never had feelings for him before,

0:24:25.320 --> 0:24:27.960
<v Speaker 7>but I would say in the last like two months

0:24:28.040 --> 0:24:29.800
<v Speaker 7>or so, I've just started to feel kind.

0:24:29.640 --> 0:24:32.480
<v Speaker 5>Of jealous when he'll call me and just tell me

0:24:32.520 --> 0:24:34.840
<v Speaker 5>about the dates that he's been going on or whatever.

0:24:37.480 --> 0:24:40.080
<v Speaker 5>Mostly it's because I think he's found this one girl

0:24:40.080 --> 0:24:42.639
<v Speaker 5>and he really likes her, and so they've been going

0:24:42.680 --> 0:24:46.840
<v Speaker 5>on dates. They've been dating for around two months essentially,

0:24:46.880 --> 0:24:49.119
<v Speaker 5>So I guess it's probably just this one woman who's

0:24:49.160 --> 0:24:53.480
<v Speaker 5>been back. But I just worry if I tell him

0:24:53.920 --> 0:25:00.439
<v Speaker 5>about my feelings, like about how I feel about being

0:25:01.400 --> 0:25:03.800
<v Speaker 5>not okay with him telling me about this person, that

0:25:03.880 --> 0:25:07.760
<v Speaker 5>it'll ruin the great friendship that we do have, right, like,

0:25:09.520 --> 0:25:12.840
<v Speaker 5>and I don't I don't know, because like I'm really torn.

0:25:12.880 --> 0:25:14.879
<v Speaker 5>I also don't want to be wondering like if I

0:25:14.960 --> 0:25:17.679
<v Speaker 5>don't tell him, what if he does feel something for me?

0:25:17.840 --> 0:25:20.120
<v Speaker 5>And like we should take it to the next level, or.

0:25:20.119 --> 0:25:20.520
<v Speaker 1>I don't know.

0:25:20.680 --> 0:25:22.200
<v Speaker 5>I just I don't know if I should keep the

0:25:22.200 --> 0:25:24.720
<v Speaker 5>feelings to myself, like let this play out a little

0:25:24.760 --> 0:25:27.560
<v Speaker 5>bit more with this woman he's been seeing for two months,

0:25:27.680 --> 0:25:30.159
<v Speaker 5>or if I should say something.

0:25:31.240 --> 0:25:34.560
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, oh man, that is quite the predicament, and I

0:25:34.560 --> 0:25:39.680
<v Speaker 2>think it's it's challenging, right I without knowing y'all's I

0:25:39.760 --> 0:25:42.680
<v Speaker 2>mean again, you said nine years, correct that you guys.

0:25:42.520 --> 0:25:43.240
<v Speaker 1>Have been friends.

0:25:43.600 --> 0:25:47.679
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, we started We worked together for about four years

0:25:47.720 --> 0:25:51.680
<v Speaker 5>at the same uh location, you know company, and then

0:25:52.920 --> 0:25:55.360
<v Speaker 5>we stopped working together the last five years, but we've

0:25:55.359 --> 0:25:56.320
<v Speaker 5>remained friends.

0:25:56.840 --> 0:26:00.680
<v Speaker 2>Okay, Well, I'm curious what why in the past did

0:26:00.720 --> 0:26:06.119
<v Speaker 2>you all never explore, you know, a connection between you

0:26:06.160 --> 0:26:10.040
<v Speaker 2>two past just friends? And was did you ever did

0:26:10.119 --> 0:26:13.560
<v Speaker 2>y'all ever date other individuals and that time frame or

0:26:13.600 --> 0:26:15.359
<v Speaker 2>is this is this the first time that he's finally

0:26:15.400 --> 0:26:19.200
<v Speaker 2>taught like talking to somebody and you've felt these feelings,

0:26:19.720 --> 0:26:21.960
<v Speaker 2>or what is it about the time?

0:26:24.480 --> 0:26:24.679
<v Speaker 8>You know?

0:26:25.000 --> 0:26:29.400
<v Speaker 5>I think I I was dating somebody and probably wasn't

0:26:29.440 --> 0:26:34.600
<v Speaker 5>really ready to date again. And then I think and

0:26:34.680 --> 0:26:36.280
<v Speaker 5>that probably I mean I was dating somebody when we

0:26:36.280 --> 0:26:38.920
<v Speaker 5>worked at the same place, and then once we left,

0:26:39.080 --> 0:26:41.720
<v Speaker 5>I probably I have not been dating that person for

0:26:41.800 --> 0:26:47.119
<v Speaker 5>like the last three to four years, and so it

0:26:47.720 --> 0:26:52.120
<v Speaker 5>just naturally moved into talking about each other's dates at

0:26:52.160 --> 0:26:55.360
<v Speaker 5>that time. And I wasn't seriously considering anything, right because

0:26:55.400 --> 0:26:58.000
<v Speaker 5>I was like just gotten out of a six year relationship,

0:26:58.040 --> 0:27:00.480
<v Speaker 5>Like I definitely wanted it was nice to have a

0:27:00.520 --> 0:27:06.280
<v Speaker 5>guy buddy to like shoot, you know, just to talk

0:27:06.320 --> 0:27:08.439
<v Speaker 5>about dates with, you know, and just to be to

0:27:08.480 --> 0:27:10.720
<v Speaker 5>have somebody who you can talk to about that stuff,

0:27:10.760 --> 0:27:14.040
<v Speaker 5>who has who comes from a from the male perspective,

0:27:14.160 --> 0:27:16.439
<v Speaker 5>you know, and isn't just my girlfriends. So I was

0:27:16.560 --> 0:27:21.000
<v Speaker 5>enjoying that probably for the last two years. And I

0:27:21.000 --> 0:27:23.920
<v Speaker 5>don't know, I guess maybe uh he hadn't really had

0:27:23.960 --> 0:27:26.920
<v Speaker 5>anybody serious before, and neither had I for the last

0:27:27.240 --> 0:27:30.760
<v Speaker 5>two or three years. So I think it's the fact

0:27:30.760 --> 0:27:34.320
<v Speaker 5>that this chick is like it's a lot, it's long term, right,

0:27:34.359 --> 0:27:36.320
<v Speaker 5>And he's starting to tell me about like connections that

0:27:36.359 --> 0:27:38.560
<v Speaker 5>they're having on their dates, and it's and now I'm

0:27:38.600 --> 0:27:39.679
<v Speaker 5>realizing that bothers me.

0:27:41.560 --> 0:27:45.959
<v Speaker 2>Do you are you fearful that do you see you

0:27:46.000 --> 0:27:49.479
<v Speaker 2>now see him wanting to potentially be a potential future

0:27:49.520 --> 0:27:52.600
<v Speaker 2>partner or are you concerned that she may take away

0:27:52.680 --> 0:27:54.959
<v Speaker 2>from your friendship. I just kind of want to distinguish

0:27:55.000 --> 0:27:58.200
<v Speaker 2>between those two. Curious, so do I.

0:27:58.359 --> 0:28:01.600
<v Speaker 5>Clayton, I would like to wrish between those two as well.

0:28:02.359 --> 0:28:04.840
<v Speaker 5>That's kind of my issue, right, I like, I really

0:28:04.880 --> 0:28:09.480
<v Speaker 5>don't want to ruin our friendship. I am interested to

0:28:09.560 --> 0:28:12.920
<v Speaker 5>see if we have a chance to do a thing,

0:28:13.040 --> 0:28:14.720
<v Speaker 5>but I really don't want to ruin our friendship.

0:28:15.280 --> 0:28:19.640
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, absolutely, Okay, Yeah, so I think again, I will

0:28:19.640 --> 0:28:24.320
<v Speaker 2>say my thought is honesty is almost always the best policy.

0:28:24.400 --> 0:28:26.440
<v Speaker 2>I'm not I don't like to speak in absolutes because

0:28:26.440 --> 0:28:28.800
<v Speaker 2>I think there's an exception to every rule. But I

0:28:28.800 --> 0:28:30.960
<v Speaker 2>think with a friendship that you all have and the

0:28:31.000 --> 0:28:35.399
<v Speaker 2>longevity of it, I think that it warrants a potential conversation.

0:28:35.520 --> 0:28:38.520
<v Speaker 2>I think again, though, it's all about prefacing it, so

0:28:39.360 --> 0:28:41.560
<v Speaker 2>asking him if he has the time to speak, saying

0:28:41.920 --> 0:28:44.280
<v Speaker 2>letting him know that you want to respect him and

0:28:44.440 --> 0:28:48.280
<v Speaker 2>the right relationship that he has. But I think I

0:28:48.280 --> 0:28:52.880
<v Speaker 2>think it's fair to let him know, like, hey, like

0:28:52.960 --> 0:28:56.320
<v Speaker 2>this is something that you know, I want you to know,

0:28:57.640 --> 0:28:59.360
<v Speaker 2>and I just want to know if like there's a

0:28:59.400 --> 0:29:02.600
<v Speaker 2>potential and if there's not that's totally cool.

0:29:03.200 --> 0:29:04.640
<v Speaker 1>Uh, you know I I.

0:29:04.920 --> 0:29:06.880
<v Speaker 2>Want to respect you again the relationship that you have

0:29:07.400 --> 0:29:10.000
<v Speaker 2>and so and I still want to be obviously a

0:29:10.040 --> 0:29:11.800
<v Speaker 2>great friend. But like, is you know, do you think

0:29:11.840 --> 0:29:15.280
<v Speaker 2>there's a chance that this could ever be something? It's

0:29:15.320 --> 0:29:17.440
<v Speaker 2>really tough because again I I don't you don't want

0:29:17.480 --> 0:29:21.040
<v Speaker 2>to overstep and make it seem like you're potentially interfering

0:29:21.080 --> 0:29:24.240
<v Speaker 2>in this relationship of his that may bring him happiness.

0:29:25.560 --> 0:29:28.440
<v Speaker 2>But I guess the alternative is that you don't say anything,

0:29:29.200 --> 0:29:32.920
<v Speaker 2>and then it builds up these feelings and then you

0:29:32.960 --> 0:29:38.440
<v Speaker 2>start to create distance, uh and separate yourself. And if

0:29:38.520 --> 0:29:41.600
<v Speaker 2>you have you you all have a strong friendship. I

0:29:41.640 --> 0:29:44.880
<v Speaker 2>think that that will end up coming up inevitably. So

0:29:45.400 --> 0:29:48.479
<v Speaker 2>if it's two months in and you hold off, then

0:29:48.520 --> 0:29:50.920
<v Speaker 2>it becomes six months in, and the timing really never

0:29:51.120 --> 0:29:51.600
<v Speaker 2>is right.

0:29:53.120 --> 0:29:54.320
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, I see what you're saying.

0:29:54.720 --> 0:29:56.960
<v Speaker 2>I think that it just my fear is that it

0:29:56.960 --> 0:29:59.400
<v Speaker 2>would build up and you would still harbor these feelings

0:29:59.480 --> 0:30:02.680
<v Speaker 2>and then distance would start to be put in between

0:30:02.760 --> 0:30:04.440
<v Speaker 2>y'all and then you would say, well, now it's six

0:30:04.520 --> 0:30:06.400
<v Speaker 2>month in relationship, I'm just going to go ahead. And

0:30:06.560 --> 0:30:08.600
<v Speaker 2>I can't even like associate talk with themcause it just

0:30:08.640 --> 0:30:10.600
<v Speaker 2>upsets me. So I'm just going to create this distance

0:30:10.640 --> 0:30:15.440
<v Speaker 2>and then that relationship, that friendship is lost. I just

0:30:15.440 --> 0:30:17.720
<v Speaker 2>think you have to be very respectful if you go

0:30:17.760 --> 0:30:20.480
<v Speaker 2>into the conversation and say, I only just want to

0:30:20.480 --> 0:30:21.320
<v Speaker 2>bring this up once.

0:30:22.080 --> 0:30:23.040
<v Speaker 1>I don't want to.

0:30:22.880 --> 0:30:24.920
<v Speaker 2>Be a big thing, but you know, I do want

0:30:24.920 --> 0:30:27.960
<v Speaker 2>to be honest with you. And you know, do you

0:30:28.000 --> 0:30:30.800
<v Speaker 2>think that do you feel any any of these feelings?

0:30:30.800 --> 0:30:33.040
<v Speaker 2>And if not, that's okay, I will, I will rightfully.

0:30:33.600 --> 0:30:35.680
<v Speaker 2>You know, I want to support you and your happiness.

0:30:35.760 --> 0:30:38.120
<v Speaker 2>You're my friend and so ultimately I want what's best

0:30:38.160 --> 0:30:38.520
<v Speaker 2>for you.

0:30:39.320 --> 0:30:39.920
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, thank you.

0:30:40.000 --> 0:30:41.520
<v Speaker 5>I appreciate that advice very much.

0:30:41.600 --> 0:30:45.360
<v Speaker 1>Absolutely, thank you so much for asking. Hey all Raids Clayton.

0:30:45.360 --> 0:30:48.200
<v Speaker 1>How you doing Hi? I'm good, Thank you?

0:30:48.320 --> 0:30:48.720
<v Speaker 4>How are you?

0:30:49.840 --> 0:30:50.680
<v Speaker 1>I am doing good.

0:30:50.720 --> 0:30:53.520
<v Speaker 2>I'm getting hit with some hard questions right now about relationships.

0:30:53.520 --> 0:30:56.760
<v Speaker 2>So I'm thinking you might have one too for me,

0:30:56.800 --> 0:30:58.320
<v Speaker 2>and I'm curious to know what it is.

0:30:58.360 --> 0:31:00.400
<v Speaker 1>But we can, we can dive in. You got if

0:31:00.400 --> 0:31:01.720
<v Speaker 1>you got it top of mind right now?

0:31:02.120 --> 0:31:02.400
<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

0:31:02.520 --> 0:31:05.479
<v Speaker 4>I do? Okay, Cool, here we go.

0:31:06.600 --> 0:31:09.200
<v Speaker 8>So I've been single for five years now and all

0:31:09.200 --> 0:31:11.440
<v Speaker 8>of my friends are married and starting to have kids.

0:31:11.960 --> 0:31:14.240
<v Speaker 8>I've been on a few different dating apps, but I'm

0:31:14.240 --> 0:31:18.000
<v Speaker 8>not getting any matches, So I want to know what

0:31:18.080 --> 0:31:21.520
<v Speaker 8>I can add or do to my online dating profile

0:31:21.640 --> 0:31:23.320
<v Speaker 8>to catch the attention of more men.

0:31:25.120 --> 0:31:28.920
<v Speaker 2>Okay, fair question. I used to be on the dating

0:31:28.920 --> 0:31:32.840
<v Speaker 2>apps myself, and so you always heard about the things

0:31:32.880 --> 0:31:35.320
<v Speaker 2>you should and shouldn't do for guys. It's like, oh, everyone,

0:31:35.360 --> 0:31:38.120
<v Speaker 2>he's got a fish pick, And there was like the

0:31:38.480 --> 0:31:40.840
<v Speaker 2>dos and don'ts of navigating the apps. But here's my

0:31:40.880 --> 0:31:45.000
<v Speaker 2>best bit of advice is you're gonna want to put

0:31:45.040 --> 0:31:49.960
<v Speaker 2>on your profile what is authentically you, uh, and so

0:31:50.080 --> 0:31:53.480
<v Speaker 2>what you feel most comfortable with. It's not about yes,

0:31:53.560 --> 0:31:57.560
<v Speaker 2>you could post a provocative photo and maybe get some

0:31:57.720 --> 0:32:00.239
<v Speaker 2>more people you know that are going to start inboxing you,

0:32:00.320 --> 0:32:04.680
<v Speaker 2>But ultimately, is that really the image that you're wanting

0:32:04.720 --> 0:32:09.720
<v Speaker 2>to portray. I understand the frustration with seemingly not getting

0:32:10.400 --> 0:32:13.080
<v Speaker 2>enough matches and thinking, well, I have to change something

0:32:13.160 --> 0:32:17.800
<v Speaker 2>about myself. But if you do that, you're going against

0:32:17.840 --> 0:32:21.400
<v Speaker 2>who you really are and truthfully are, and I think

0:32:22.840 --> 0:32:26.160
<v Speaker 2>you don't that might attract somebody that then when they

0:32:26.240 --> 0:32:29.280
<v Speaker 2>find out who you know, the real you is, you

0:32:29.360 --> 0:32:31.280
<v Speaker 2>run the risk of like, well, I posted this, but

0:32:31.320 --> 0:32:33.640
<v Speaker 2>that's not fully who I am. Like I just did

0:32:33.640 --> 0:32:37.080
<v Speaker 2>that to kind of maybe attract or or get more

0:32:38.080 --> 0:32:41.040
<v Speaker 2>you know, likes on a you know, on a dating app.

0:32:41.120 --> 0:32:44.840
<v Speaker 2>So I would my advice would be just continue to

0:32:44.880 --> 0:32:47.040
<v Speaker 2>push what you think is most authentically you.

0:32:47.640 --> 0:32:48.960
<v Speaker 1>Actually, here's an example.

0:32:49.040 --> 0:32:51.680
<v Speaker 2>I I'm not a big drinker, and when I was

0:32:51.720 --> 0:32:54.880
<v Speaker 2>on the apps, I at first said that I did

0:32:55.000 --> 0:32:57.680
<v Speaker 2>drink because I thought that people would look at that

0:32:57.720 --> 0:32:58.840
<v Speaker 2>and like, I don't want to date a guy that

0:32:58.880 --> 0:33:02.160
<v Speaker 2>doesn't drink it, right, he sounds like a bore. But

0:33:02.160 --> 0:33:04.120
<v Speaker 2>then what happened was is I went out on dates

0:33:04.240 --> 0:33:06.760
<v Speaker 2>and when I wasn't drinking, they were kind of like, well,

0:33:07.040 --> 0:33:08.520
<v Speaker 2>you said you drink all the time. I was like, no,

0:33:08.600 --> 0:33:11.760
<v Speaker 2>I don't, like, just on special occasions. So I realized

0:33:11.760 --> 0:33:14.520
<v Speaker 2>that I was trying to cater to an audience, but

0:33:14.560 --> 0:33:18.000
<v Speaker 2>I wasn't fully truthfully being myself on the profile and

0:33:18.000 --> 0:33:20.160
<v Speaker 2>saying like, hey, I should just put no, And then

0:33:20.240 --> 0:33:21.280
<v Speaker 2>someone's like, why don't you drink?

0:33:21.280 --> 0:33:22.720
<v Speaker 1>Why do you on special occasions? Right?

0:33:22.760 --> 0:33:26.360
<v Speaker 2>So the expectations if we are who we are and

0:33:26.360 --> 0:33:28.960
<v Speaker 2>we put that on our profile, then we attract what

0:33:29.000 --> 0:33:32.040
<v Speaker 2>we want to attract. So I would just say, honestly,

0:33:32.960 --> 0:33:35.240
<v Speaker 2>just continue to post what you want to post on

0:33:35.360 --> 0:33:38.880
<v Speaker 2>there and eventually, like you're going to find that person

0:33:38.920 --> 0:33:41.000
<v Speaker 2>that's going to see that, like Wow, this girl is

0:33:41.120 --> 0:33:44.640
<v Speaker 2>exactly what I want and exactly what I've been looking for,

0:33:46.000 --> 0:33:48.520
<v Speaker 2>because I would hate for you to swap something out

0:33:48.840 --> 0:33:52.040
<v Speaker 2>and then you never know when that person that's you know,

0:33:52.080 --> 0:33:55.440
<v Speaker 2>sifting through the photos, sees one picture and you took

0:33:55.480 --> 0:33:57.160
<v Speaker 2>down a picture that you thought nobody was gonna be

0:33:57.200 --> 0:33:59.840
<v Speaker 2>interested in, and that might have been the one that

0:34:00.080 --> 0:34:02.280
<v Speaker 2>ended up, you know, making them be like yeah, I'm

0:34:02.280 --> 0:34:05.560
<v Speaker 2>gonna swipe right, yeah, or whatever direction it is nowadays,

0:34:05.920 --> 0:34:09.640
<v Speaker 2>I assume it's still right, but that'd be my advice.

0:34:09.719 --> 0:34:13.439
<v Speaker 2>Just keep being you, authentically you, and it'll it'll come around.

0:34:13.440 --> 0:34:16.080
<v Speaker 2>I've only had two relationships, seriously, it's just relationships my

0:34:16.200 --> 0:34:20.000
<v Speaker 2>entire life. I'm twenty nine, So I know timing isn't

0:34:20.320 --> 0:34:23.399
<v Speaker 2>doesn't seem to always be on our sides. But if

0:34:23.400 --> 0:34:25.560
<v Speaker 2>you're a good person, you care, you and you do

0:34:25.600 --> 0:34:28.080
<v Speaker 2>all and you just you're a genuinely good person, then

0:34:28.120 --> 0:34:30.520
<v Speaker 2>I do believe that, like you'll find your person.

0:34:30.600 --> 0:34:31.200
<v Speaker 1>I mean shrute.

0:34:31.960 --> 0:34:34.640
<v Speaker 2>I am now in a happy relationship, but prior to

0:34:34.640 --> 0:34:36.480
<v Speaker 2>that point, I was just like you. All my friends

0:34:36.560 --> 0:34:40.440
<v Speaker 2>were engaged and married, and I was starting to wonder

0:34:40.440 --> 0:34:42.319
<v Speaker 2>if my time is ever going to come, And here

0:34:42.360 --> 0:34:45.279
<v Speaker 2>we are, so I think I would just say, just

0:34:45.360 --> 0:34:48.640
<v Speaker 2>keep being you and that person will come around.

0:34:49.320 --> 0:34:51.240
<v Speaker 1>Does that help it all? It's kind of long winded,

0:34:51.239 --> 0:34:52.760
<v Speaker 1>but hopefully that helps a little.

0:34:53.120 --> 0:34:55.160
<v Speaker 5>No, No, it's good. It's good context.

0:34:55.320 --> 0:34:59.000
<v Speaker 4>It's it's really kind of scary to do that. But

0:34:59.320 --> 0:35:01.560
<v Speaker 4>I see your point and why that makes a lot

0:35:01.600 --> 0:35:02.000
<v Speaker 4>of sense.

0:35:02.800 --> 0:35:05.920
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it is, and it is scary. I absolutely. I

0:35:05.920 --> 0:35:06.799
<v Speaker 1>think you're very valid.

0:35:06.800 --> 0:35:11.360
<v Speaker 2>It's very understanding for you to feel that way. But

0:35:11.440 --> 0:35:15.040
<v Speaker 2>I think it's also scary to think that, Well, if

0:35:15.080 --> 0:35:18.680
<v Speaker 2>you aren't yourself, then what happens if you missed that

0:35:18.719 --> 0:35:21.480
<v Speaker 2>person that was looking for who you really are and

0:35:21.600 --> 0:35:23.160
<v Speaker 2>and if you convey yourself.

0:35:22.840 --> 0:35:23.560
<v Speaker 1>In a different light.

0:35:23.680 --> 0:35:28.279
<v Speaker 2>So I would, Yeah, I understand your fear, and I

0:35:28.280 --> 0:35:30.200
<v Speaker 2>think it's it's really hard to say, like there's I

0:35:30.200 --> 0:35:33.680
<v Speaker 2>don't think there's any certain particular pick that's gonna post

0:35:33.719 --> 0:35:36.560
<v Speaker 2>that's going to do well and resonate most. I think

0:35:36.600 --> 0:35:42.080
<v Speaker 2>authenticity reads at the end of the day, So hopefully

0:35:42.160 --> 0:35:42.640
<v Speaker 2>that helps.

0:35:42.719 --> 0:35:44.440
<v Speaker 1>And I wish you but the best. I think.

0:35:44.520 --> 0:35:46.400
<v Speaker 2>I think you're your person's come and trust me, I

0:35:46.800 --> 0:35:49.799
<v Speaker 2>do believe it and and and I believe it will

0:35:49.840 --> 0:35:50.240
<v Speaker 2>come away.

0:35:50.360 --> 0:35:52.279
<v Speaker 1>And I think you should just keep being yourself. That's

0:35:52.320 --> 0:35:53.799
<v Speaker 1>my opinion, I hope.

0:35:53.840 --> 0:35:56.160
<v Speaker 4>So thank you, Thank you.

0:35:56.120 --> 0:36:01.840
<v Speaker 1>So much for the question, Rye, Rye. All right, so

0:36:01.960 --> 0:36:03.640
<v Speaker 1>we're gonna go ahead and take a break. Thank you

0:36:03.719 --> 0:36:05.200
<v Speaker 1>so much for all the questions.

0:36:05.280 --> 0:36:07.600
<v Speaker 2>There were some tough ones, but I think a lot

0:36:07.640 --> 0:36:09.759
<v Speaker 2>of people are going through those kind of questions. They

0:36:09.800 --> 0:36:12.640
<v Speaker 2>have them, so it's so very awesome to be able

0:36:12.640 --> 0:36:14.439
<v Speaker 2>to answer a few. And we will be right back.

0:36:24.040 --> 0:36:26.760
<v Speaker 2>All right, Welcome back, everybody. We are at the official

0:36:26.800 --> 0:36:29.359
<v Speaker 2>point of Q and A, so we're going to dive

0:36:29.400 --> 0:36:33.279
<v Speaker 2>in here. There's some pretty juicy questions and as long

0:36:33.320 --> 0:36:34.759
<v Speaker 2>winded as I am, I'm going to try to be

0:36:34.800 --> 0:36:36.560
<v Speaker 2>as clear and concise as possible.

0:36:36.640 --> 0:36:37.640
<v Speaker 1>So here we go.

0:36:37.840 --> 0:36:41.239
<v Speaker 2>Question number one. At the end of The Bachelor, you

0:36:41.280 --> 0:36:44.360
<v Speaker 2>found yourself in love with three women. How did you

0:36:44.440 --> 0:36:47.239
<v Speaker 2>finally figure out that Susie was the one for you?

0:36:48.680 --> 0:36:51.120
<v Speaker 1>Oh? Man, I mean that is a tough question.

0:36:52.840 --> 0:36:58.279
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And on the show, I don't think, and we

0:36:58.320 --> 0:37:00.239
<v Speaker 2>talked about the Susie and I, I don't think we

0:37:00.280 --> 0:37:02.080
<v Speaker 2>really knew if we were each other's person.

0:37:03.040 --> 0:37:06.880
<v Speaker 1>I went with where my heart was leading me, and

0:37:06.960 --> 0:37:07.759
<v Speaker 1>unfortunately it.

0:37:07.719 --> 0:37:10.960
<v Speaker 2>Was in a disastrous manner that I navigated through it all,

0:37:12.040 --> 0:37:14.200
<v Speaker 2>and I caused a lot of pain and I learned

0:37:14.239 --> 0:37:16.319
<v Speaker 2>a lot of lessons that I needed to learn. I

0:37:16.360 --> 0:37:19.160
<v Speaker 2>was immature, and I did a lot of things I

0:37:19.400 --> 0:37:22.399
<v Speaker 2>wish I would have done differently, But.

0:37:22.320 --> 0:37:24.360
<v Speaker 1>I just in that moment, I went with my gut.

0:37:24.680 --> 0:37:27.680
<v Speaker 2>I just I felt that when I needed to go

0:37:27.719 --> 0:37:30.479
<v Speaker 2>after her and I needed to let the other two

0:37:30.520 --> 0:37:33.440
<v Speaker 2>women go and then on their own journeys. And so

0:37:33.680 --> 0:37:37.080
<v Speaker 2>it was really really tough and challenging to navigate that environment.

0:37:37.880 --> 0:37:40.400
<v Speaker 2>But I didn't really figure out that Susie was the

0:37:40.400 --> 0:37:43.480
<v Speaker 2>one for me until after the show, and tell Susie

0:37:43.480 --> 0:37:45.160
<v Speaker 2>and I got to spend more time with each other

0:37:46.160 --> 0:37:49.120
<v Speaker 2>in the real world, so that I would say we

0:37:49.160 --> 0:37:55.440
<v Speaker 2>figured that out after the show. Going okay, Question two,

0:37:55.800 --> 0:37:58.080
<v Speaker 2>going through what you did on TV and having Batter

0:37:58.200 --> 0:38:01.400
<v Speaker 2>Nation fans way in with their opinions, did that affect

0:38:01.400 --> 0:38:04.160
<v Speaker 2>your relationship then and how did you get through it?

0:38:04.960 --> 0:38:06.919
<v Speaker 1>Oh? My gosh, yes, gosh.

0:38:07.400 --> 0:38:14.719
<v Speaker 2>Unfortunately Bachelor Nation, their opinions and their constant commentary online

0:38:16.000 --> 0:38:20.560
<v Speaker 2>can start to really leak into the minds of those

0:38:21.360 --> 0:38:26.120
<v Speaker 2>of the leads and then the women or the men

0:38:26.160 --> 0:38:27.960
<v Speaker 2>on the show, depending on what season it is.

0:38:28.560 --> 0:38:31.040
<v Speaker 1>But yes, those opinions can resonate.

0:38:31.600 --> 0:38:36.480
<v Speaker 2>And unfortunately, what was in my inbox versus what was

0:38:36.480 --> 0:38:39.440
<v Speaker 2>in Susie's inbox were two different things. We both had

0:38:39.640 --> 0:38:43.840
<v Speaker 2>support in our inbox saying that we understand why you

0:38:43.880 --> 0:38:45.880
<v Speaker 2>did what you did, and then she had the same

0:38:45.920 --> 0:38:49.360
<v Speaker 2>thing going on in her inbox and what that actually

0:38:49.440 --> 0:38:52.480
<v Speaker 2>ended up doing, and we had to catch it. Thankfully

0:38:52.600 --> 0:38:55.200
<v Speaker 2>we did before I ended up creating more damage. But

0:38:55.239 --> 0:38:57.520
<v Speaker 2>it was almost causing a divide between the two of

0:38:57.600 --> 0:39:00.440
<v Speaker 2>us because I was getting a ton of support in

0:39:00.520 --> 0:39:02.200
<v Speaker 2>my DMS, she was getting a ton of support on

0:39:02.239 --> 0:39:05.960
<v Speaker 2>her DM, So it strengthened our viewpoints and it made

0:39:05.960 --> 0:39:09.120
<v Speaker 2>it a lot harder for us to see the other side.

0:39:09.680 --> 0:39:11.960
<v Speaker 2>So what we ultimately had to do was shut it

0:39:12.000 --> 0:39:15.000
<v Speaker 2>off that third party, the Bachelor Nation. We had to

0:39:15.000 --> 0:39:17.200
<v Speaker 2>cut it off and say we are not going to

0:39:17.239 --> 0:39:20.319
<v Speaker 2>allow anybody else to dictate our relationship or tell us

0:39:20.320 --> 0:39:23.600
<v Speaker 2>how our relationship should be, and we sat down, we

0:39:23.680 --> 0:39:27.399
<v Speaker 2>went to therapy, and we dove into it and really

0:39:27.480 --> 0:39:29.200
<v Speaker 2>found and got to the root of the issue, which

0:39:29.360 --> 0:39:32.640
<v Speaker 2>was that she wasn't feeling understood and either was I,

0:39:32.840 --> 0:39:35.920
<v Speaker 2>and so we started to see each other's perspective, and

0:39:35.960 --> 0:39:38.800
<v Speaker 2>we knew that even our loved ones, they have opinions,

0:39:38.800 --> 0:39:41.680
<v Speaker 2>but they don't know the full story. So we had

0:39:41.760 --> 0:39:43.479
<v Speaker 2>to just say, listen, if we're going to make this work,

0:39:43.560 --> 0:39:46.520
<v Speaker 2>it comes down to the two of us and only

0:39:46.560 --> 0:39:51.439
<v Speaker 2>our opinions matter when it comes to our relationship. Question three,

0:39:51.880 --> 0:39:55.360
<v Speaker 2>How is your and study's relationship today? I'm happy to

0:39:55.360 --> 0:39:58.280
<v Speaker 2>say it's better than ever. Even though people are freaking

0:39:58.320 --> 0:40:01.960
<v Speaker 2>out they're about to separate, we're only doing it temporarily.

0:40:02.000 --> 0:40:04.840
<v Speaker 2>I want people to understand that she doesn't want to

0:40:04.880 --> 0:40:06.880
<v Speaker 2>live in a cooped up little apartment with me and

0:40:06.920 --> 0:40:08.080
<v Speaker 2>my middle brother, rightfully.

0:40:08.160 --> 0:40:10.840
<v Speaker 1>So it's a small, tiny apartment. She's been there once before.

0:40:11.360 --> 0:40:14.080
<v Speaker 2>She's going to go to la and spend some time

0:40:14.120 --> 0:40:16.279
<v Speaker 2>there while I buy a house in Scottsdale, And the

0:40:16.320 --> 0:40:18.720
<v Speaker 2>plan is once I buy the house in a couple months,

0:40:19.040 --> 0:40:22.000
<v Speaker 2>she will move out and live with me. With all that,

0:40:22.040 --> 0:40:24.080
<v Speaker 2>we're still going to see each other most of the weekends.

0:40:24.120 --> 0:40:26.440
<v Speaker 2>We're planning out what weekends already. We can buy plane

0:40:26.440 --> 0:40:28.600
<v Speaker 2>tickets to see each other. It's a fifty minute flight,

0:40:29.520 --> 0:40:33.239
<v Speaker 2>no concern whatsoever. We are in an incredibly great spots.

0:40:34.040 --> 0:40:36.000
<v Speaker 2>So the next question, what am I worried about the

0:40:36.040 --> 0:40:38.919
<v Speaker 2>most and being in a long distance relationship.

0:40:39.080 --> 0:40:43.640
<v Speaker 1>While the one of the callers earlier just.

0:40:44.000 --> 0:40:47.279
<v Speaker 2>Brought it up, we talked touched on this, but I

0:40:47.320 --> 0:40:50.879
<v Speaker 2>think again, when it comes to me, just a break

0:40:50.920 --> 0:40:53.840
<v Speaker 2>down and communication. But I don't see that really happening

0:40:53.880 --> 0:40:57.760
<v Speaker 2>between Susie and I. But when there's distance between individuals,

0:40:58.239 --> 0:41:03.240
<v Speaker 2>sometimes the intention of your actions can get lost because

0:41:03.280 --> 0:41:05.680
<v Speaker 2>you're not there physically with that person to be able

0:41:05.719 --> 0:41:08.920
<v Speaker 2>to read body language, to read tone, text, messaging can

0:41:08.960 --> 0:41:13.640
<v Speaker 2>be misinterpreted, and distance can make the heart go fonder.

0:41:13.640 --> 0:41:18.240
<v Speaker 2>But sometimes distance can cause you if you're not putting

0:41:18.280 --> 0:41:21.320
<v Speaker 2>the effort in to see each other, it can create distance,

0:41:21.880 --> 0:41:23.920
<v Speaker 2>not from a physical standpoint, but then it starts to

0:41:23.960 --> 0:41:26.640
<v Speaker 2>create distance emotionally because you're not around that person, you're

0:41:26.680 --> 0:41:30.920
<v Speaker 2>not nurturing that relationship. So my worry would always be

0:41:31.040 --> 0:41:34.040
<v Speaker 2>if not feeling like the effort is going to be

0:41:34.080 --> 0:41:36.600
<v Speaker 2>put in and that physical distance starts to turn into

0:41:36.719 --> 0:41:40.600
<v Speaker 2>emotional distance. But I'm mindful of that and so as Susie,

0:41:40.600 --> 0:41:41.520
<v Speaker 2>so I don't see.

0:41:41.360 --> 0:41:45.919
<v Speaker 1>That being an issue. Next question, Do I have any

0:41:45.960 --> 0:41:48.799
<v Speaker 1>regrets for my season being the Bachelor? Yes?

0:41:48.880 --> 0:41:54.520
<v Speaker 2>Many, but I will say that with those regrets, I

0:41:54.560 --> 0:41:56.440
<v Speaker 2>wish I would have done things differently, but I didn't.

0:41:56.920 --> 0:41:59.000
<v Speaker 2>And I also do believe that everything does happen for

0:41:59.000 --> 0:42:01.120
<v Speaker 2>a reason. So I think I was meant to make

0:42:01.120 --> 0:42:02.959
<v Speaker 2>a fool out of myself. I think I was meant

0:42:02.960 --> 0:42:06.400
<v Speaker 2>to do make take the decisions that I did in

0:42:06.480 --> 0:42:10.000
<v Speaker 2>order for me to have my weaknesses and insecurities be

0:42:10.080 --> 0:42:13.279
<v Speaker 2>exposed and come to light so that I could then

0:42:14.160 --> 0:42:16.680
<v Speaker 2>see them for what they were, acknowledge them, and then

0:42:16.760 --> 0:42:20.720
<v Speaker 2>work on strengthening those weaknesses and turning them into strength.

0:42:20.800 --> 0:42:23.239
<v Speaker 2>So I regret a lot of the things that I

0:42:23.280 --> 0:42:26.200
<v Speaker 2>did on the show, but I do I am thankful

0:42:26.600 --> 0:42:30.440
<v Speaker 2>that they were all brought to light my insecurities because

0:42:31.440 --> 0:42:34.960
<v Speaker 2>I've now addressed them and still am addressing them to

0:42:35.000 --> 0:42:37.000
<v Speaker 2>be a better human being, and I think I've become

0:42:37.040 --> 0:42:42.840
<v Speaker 2>that from the show. Next question, am I watching Gabby

0:42:42.840 --> 0:42:45.960
<v Speaker 2>and Rachel's season of The bat Threat I've watched a

0:42:45.960 --> 0:42:50.520
<v Speaker 2>few episodes, not all of them, and that's just because

0:42:51.080 --> 0:42:54.800
<v Speaker 2>Susie and I last night when the episode was airing,

0:42:55.719 --> 0:42:58.719
<v Speaker 2>we were with her family. So if we happen to

0:42:58.719 --> 0:43:01.640
<v Speaker 2>be home, we will turn and on. But if we're

0:43:01.719 --> 0:43:04.480
<v Speaker 2>working again, we have our own aspirations right now that

0:43:04.480 --> 0:43:07.600
<v Speaker 2>we're working towards. You know, the show takes two hours.

0:43:07.680 --> 0:43:10.480
<v Speaker 2>Some nights it's two hours long, and we sometimes don't

0:43:10.520 --> 0:43:13.799
<v Speaker 2>have that time or we decide to do something else

0:43:13.840 --> 0:43:16.439
<v Speaker 2>instead of watch the show. So we're both very much

0:43:16.440 --> 0:43:19.480
<v Speaker 2>in support of those two finding their happiness. We both

0:43:20.000 --> 0:43:22.920
<v Speaker 2>know those two women and wish them nothing but the best.

0:43:23.600 --> 0:43:26.040
<v Speaker 2>And so at the end of the day, we're just

0:43:26.120 --> 0:43:27.680
<v Speaker 2>our lives are busy at times and we're.

0:43:27.520 --> 0:43:28.520
<v Speaker 1>Not always able to watch.

0:43:30.760 --> 0:43:35.200
<v Speaker 2>Okay, honted some dating relationship questions. How long should you

0:43:35.239 --> 0:43:40.879
<v Speaker 2>message someone before you meet in person? Now, I will

0:43:40.880 --> 0:43:42.680
<v Speaker 2>say again, I got to go back to the times

0:43:42.719 --> 0:43:46.000
<v Speaker 2>when I used to be on the apps dating apps,

0:43:46.600 --> 0:43:48.680
<v Speaker 2>and gosh, I mean, it felt like it was all

0:43:48.880 --> 0:43:51.759
<v Speaker 2>a matter of a game of I can't respond back

0:43:51.800 --> 0:43:54.439
<v Speaker 2>to quickly and we have to talk for a week

0:43:54.480 --> 0:43:58.440
<v Speaker 2>before we can meet up. My personal opinion, again, this

0:43:58.520 --> 0:44:00.880
<v Speaker 2>is just me I am who I am and nobody

0:44:00.920 --> 0:44:03.680
<v Speaker 2>else is who I am. So but my thought is this,

0:44:04.960 --> 0:44:08.440
<v Speaker 2>you should message as long as it takes to become

0:44:08.520 --> 0:44:13.000
<v Speaker 2>comfortable with meeting that person. So if you're somebody like

0:44:13.120 --> 0:44:15.799
<v Speaker 2>me who I could meet up right away because to me,

0:44:15.960 --> 0:44:18.600
<v Speaker 2>strangers I can have conversations with right out the gate,

0:44:19.320 --> 0:44:21.719
<v Speaker 2>then so be it like then then you can meet

0:44:21.800 --> 0:44:23.480
<v Speaker 2>up the same day that you message that person.

0:44:24.320 --> 0:44:28.000
<v Speaker 1>Again, I think it depends on the gender of the individual.

0:44:28.239 --> 0:44:30.359
<v Speaker 2>Obviously, if you're meeting up with a stranger, I know

0:44:30.400 --> 0:44:32.360
<v Speaker 2>that from a female's perspective, you want to be in

0:44:32.360 --> 0:44:35.480
<v Speaker 2>the safe environment, populated environment at a bar, whatever it

0:44:35.520 --> 0:44:37.719
<v Speaker 2>might be, somewhere there's a lot of people, so just

0:44:37.719 --> 0:44:39.919
<v Speaker 2>obviously be smart about that. But I don't think there's

0:44:40.080 --> 0:44:43.200
<v Speaker 2>any amount of time. It's it's until you feel comfortable.

0:44:43.239 --> 0:44:44.759
<v Speaker 2>Right at the end of the day, you should be

0:44:44.760 --> 0:44:47.279
<v Speaker 2>comfortable with meeting up with that person. Some people it

0:44:47.360 --> 0:44:50.480
<v Speaker 2>takes a little longer to become comfortable with, so that

0:44:50.520 --> 0:44:53.560
<v Speaker 2>would be my answer. However long it takes to become comfortable.

0:44:54.840 --> 0:44:57.799
<v Speaker 2>So okay, last question here today, what are some things

0:44:57.800 --> 0:44:59.839
<v Speaker 2>you can do to make time for your spouse when

0:44:59.840 --> 0:45:04.920
<v Speaker 2>you're dealing with busy schedules. So I think one of

0:45:04.960 --> 0:45:09.839
<v Speaker 2>the best things you can do is schedule time to

0:45:09.880 --> 0:45:12.600
<v Speaker 2>sit down with your partner when it fits with the

0:45:12.680 --> 0:45:16.080
<v Speaker 2>both of your schedules. Because I refuse to believe that

0:45:16.640 --> 0:45:19.320
<v Speaker 2>your twenty four hours for the next week are completely

0:45:19.360 --> 0:45:22.719
<v Speaker 2>taken up. You can always find time, even if it's

0:45:22.760 --> 0:45:26.640
<v Speaker 2>a long distance and you're not physically together. You can

0:45:27.000 --> 0:45:30.480
<v Speaker 2>schedule a zoom call and I guarantee you have fifteen minutes.

0:45:30.520 --> 0:45:34.120
<v Speaker 2>I do not believe anybody everyone, There's not a single

0:45:34.120 --> 0:45:36.439
<v Speaker 2>person out that it does not have fifteen minutes. So

0:45:36.680 --> 0:45:41.080
<v Speaker 2>schedule time. Be mindful, take the initiative to sit down

0:45:41.480 --> 0:45:44.120
<v Speaker 2>talk with your partner, and then when you do that,

0:45:44.800 --> 0:45:47.880
<v Speaker 2>as far as making time for them, set a schedule,

0:45:48.000 --> 0:45:52.000
<v Speaker 2>put it in your physical phones calendar. I do that,

0:45:52.719 --> 0:45:55.080
<v Speaker 2>and then once you put it in there, you're more

0:45:55.200 --> 0:45:58.680
<v Speaker 2>likely to follow through. You can set reminders that, okay, hey,

0:45:58.719 --> 0:46:00.920
<v Speaker 2>in thirty minutes, mind who's going to go off, that

0:46:00.960 --> 0:46:02.920
<v Speaker 2>you have a conversation coming up, or time that you're

0:46:02.920 --> 0:46:05.520
<v Speaker 2>going to spend with your partner. But when you take

0:46:05.560 --> 0:46:09.359
<v Speaker 2>the initiative and place it in your calendar physically, you're

0:46:09.360 --> 0:46:11.640
<v Speaker 2>more likely to do it. That would be my advice.

0:46:12.200 --> 0:46:15.160
<v Speaker 2>So I believe that is all the time that we

0:46:15.280 --> 0:46:19.040
<v Speaker 2>have for questions today. Thank you all so much for

0:46:19.160 --> 0:46:22.560
<v Speaker 2>tuning in to how men think. This is so much

0:46:22.600 --> 0:46:25.480
<v Speaker 2>fun and if y'all are interested in keeping up to

0:46:25.560 --> 0:46:29.120
<v Speaker 2>date with me and what's my next steps in life entail,

0:46:29.440 --> 0:46:32.480
<v Speaker 2>then you can find me on social media at Clayton

0:46:32.520 --> 0:46:35.000
<v Speaker 2>eckerd first and last name on Instacram.

0:46:35.160 --> 0:46:37.759
<v Speaker 1>Really easy, It's easy to get in contact with me there.

0:46:37.840 --> 0:46:39.920
<v Speaker 2>You can shoot me a DM, you can shoot me

0:46:39.960 --> 0:46:42.960
<v Speaker 2>an email, whatever you want in the comments of my pictures.

0:46:43.120 --> 0:46:44.040
<v Speaker 1>That's where you'll find me.

0:46:44.120 --> 0:46:47.440
<v Speaker 2>It's where I'm most active and I will keep you

0:46:47.480 --> 0:46:51.080
<v Speaker 2>all updated as far as what's next, all through the app.

0:46:51.400 --> 0:46:54.479
<v Speaker 1>So that's where you can find me, Matt Hiding and all.

0:46:54.800 --> 0:46:57.600
<v Speaker 2>And thank you once again for taking the time out

0:46:57.640 --> 0:47:00.680
<v Speaker 2>of your day to sit here with me and hopefully

0:47:00.760 --> 0:47:01.440
<v Speaker 2>learn a thing or two.

0:47:02.040 --> 0:47:05.520
<v Speaker 5>This is how men think. An iHeartRadio London Audio Production

0:47:06.239 --> 0:47:10.040
<v Speaker 5>listen each Thursday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or

0:47:10.040 --> 0:47:11.760
<v Speaker 5>wherever you get your podcasts.