WEBVTT - BA Q&A: Rest Is Your Birthright 0:00:06.160 --> 0:00:09.159 It's time for the b a q a a. 0:00:09.520 --> 0:00:11.959 The b a q a what you say the b 0:00:12.080 --> 0:00:15.000 a q a with Tippanda, the b a q a 0:00:15.120 --> 0:00:18.239 ain't no manday today. Okay, my book up here just 0:00:18.239 --> 0:00:21.120 so the people can see. Welcome to Brown Amission. Question Answers, 0:00:21.160 --> 0:00:23.800 where you have questions? I have some answers. Although I 0:00:23.840 --> 0:00:27.200 am not your attorney, your doctor, your lawyer, your mama, 0:00:27.240 --> 0:00:29.200 but I can't be your internet bestie or whatever. 0:00:30.040 --> 0:00:33.280 Just a smart brown black girl that knows some things. 0:00:33.320 --> 0:00:34.839 But we want you to lean into the people that 0:00:34.920 --> 0:00:40.120 you pay for that official professional advice. Okay, So first question, 0:00:40.159 --> 0:00:42.120 I'm gonna answer that. Actually I'm gonna answer a quick 0:00:42.280 --> 0:00:46.360 financial question and then a deeper, longer question that so 0:00:46.680 --> 0:00:51.840 many young people in entrepreneurship meaning young, not age young, 0:00:51.920 --> 0:00:56.120 but like in entrepreneurship young ask me. But first question anonymous, 0:00:56.720 --> 0:00:58.800 Anonymous said, I would like to remain anonymous. 0:00:58.800 --> 0:00:59.200 Got you. 0:00:59.280 --> 0:01:03.720 We're gonna call you Custodio. Okay, okay, Custodio. I've been 0:01:03.760 --> 0:01:06.000 catching up on the podcast from the beginning. Love that 0:01:06.120 --> 0:01:09.039 for you and for us. I'm up to episode one 0:01:09.240 --> 0:01:13.280 ninety nine. You said, Tiffany, you opened up a custodio 0:01:13.560 --> 0:01:15.880 wrath iray, which I don't think I said wroth but anyway, 0:01:16.040 --> 0:01:18.200 which is something I thought about opening for my kids. 0:01:18.200 --> 0:01:19.800 When I looked into it. It says that the child 0:01:19.880 --> 0:01:22.160 has to have earned income. Can you please tell me 0:01:22.200 --> 0:01:24.360 how you were able to open yours? Also, are there 0:01:24.400 --> 0:01:26.920 any other accounts I can open for them? Besides that 0:01:27.040 --> 0:01:30.319 are regular savings? Thank you for your time. So I'm 0:01:30.319 --> 0:01:33.480 not sure if I said custodio wroth which the thing is, 0:01:34.560 --> 0:01:36.959 any child can have a rawth ira if they have 0:01:37.000 --> 0:01:39.400 earned income, meaning like they have to work. Because a 0:01:39.480 --> 0:01:44.360 wroth ira ira is an individual retirement account meaning in 0:01:44.440 --> 0:01:46.399 order to say for retirement, you have to be working. 0:01:46.400 --> 0:01:47.720 You have to have money coming in. 0:01:48.040 --> 0:01:51.720 So my sixteen year old bonus daughter, Alyssa, she's got 0:01:51.760 --> 0:01:53.920 an ira because she works for me. She does my 0:01:53.960 --> 0:01:56.720 tiktoks once she gets a chance, so she can have 0:01:56.760 --> 0:01:58.640 a retirement account. I mean, your two year old can 0:01:58.680 --> 0:02:01.000 have a retirement account they're working, you know, like maybe 0:02:01.000 --> 0:02:03.760 they're like a model for like gap or something like that. 0:02:03.840 --> 0:02:07.280 You know, Now, if I said I opened a custodio 0:02:07.440 --> 0:02:11.160 wroth iray, that I missspook that I opened a custodial 0:02:11.320 --> 0:02:16.000 account period an investment account. So you can have a 0:02:16.040 --> 0:02:20.320 custodal a custodial investment account, an account where the money's invested, 0:02:20.360 --> 0:02:23.880 but it's not for retirement, it's just for investment purposes. 0:02:24.000 --> 0:02:26.000 So for myself personally, I have. 0:02:25.960 --> 0:02:28.760 Retirement accounts, I have a WROTH, but I also have 0:02:28.960 --> 0:02:33.040 just regular investment accounts. Now, there are no tax benefits 0:02:33.639 --> 0:02:35.480 like with a roth, iray or any kind of like 0:02:35.560 --> 0:02:38.079 retirement account that you get with the retirement account, but 0:02:38.200 --> 0:02:40.079 I still I mean, these are investment accounts because you 0:02:40.080 --> 0:02:42.519 can only set aside, but so much money. Does a 0:02:42.680 --> 0:02:44.480 cap on how much money you can set aside for 0:02:44.520 --> 0:02:48.640 retirement accounts because there are tax benefits and the government 0:02:48.639 --> 0:02:49.880 is like, we're not trying to have you have all 0:02:49.880 --> 0:02:52.720 the tax benefits, so there's a cap. So for my 0:02:52.919 --> 0:02:57.360 niece Amelia aka mem, my nephew Roman aka row Row, 0:02:58.040 --> 0:03:02.640 my niece Lillian aka A Lily, and Alyssa, they all 0:03:02.680 --> 0:03:05.840 have custodial accounts that I'm the custodian of. But these 0:03:05.880 --> 0:03:09.160 are just regular investment accounts. But because they're all under 0:03:09.200 --> 0:03:12.160 the age of like eighteen twenty twenty one, that I 0:03:12.200 --> 0:03:14.400 am the custodian of and if something were to happen 0:03:14.440 --> 0:03:16.799 to me, then actually, like I now put it into 0:03:16.840 --> 0:03:18.680 my trust. Well, it will just be held for them 0:03:18.840 --> 0:03:20.480 until they reach a certain age if something were to 0:03:20.480 --> 0:03:23.480 happen to me. So yes, So if you're interested in 0:03:23.560 --> 0:03:26.519 opening up an investment account for your kids, you could 0:03:26.560 --> 0:03:29.440 just open up just a regular custodical investment account. You know, 0:03:29.440 --> 0:03:32.079 you can make the metaficiaries depending on how much is 0:03:32.120 --> 0:03:35.240 in there, or you can make the trust the beneficiary 0:03:35.280 --> 0:03:37.160 if you have a trust or you're looking into one, 0:03:37.240 --> 0:03:39.600 and then inside the trust it tells the trust what 0:03:39.680 --> 0:03:41.400 to do with that money, right, I mean you could 0:03:41.440 --> 0:03:43.840 also consider like a five to twenty nine plan, which 0:03:43.840 --> 0:03:46.480 are not really my favorite. So five twenty nines are 0:03:46.520 --> 0:03:49.640 these accounts that you could set aside for education for 0:03:49.720 --> 0:03:54.120 your kids. So they do have a tax component where 0:03:54.120 --> 0:03:55.840 like you know, moneys are allowed to grow like kind 0:03:55.840 --> 0:04:00.320 of like tax free, and you're allowed to use that 0:04:00.360 --> 0:04:04.240 money for an educational event, so typically college. But more 0:04:04.320 --> 0:04:07.240 they have more leeway now where they allowed you allow 0:04:07.280 --> 0:04:09.680 you to even pay for it like sometime for like 0:04:10.000 --> 0:04:13.160 childcare or maybe your child goes to like a private school. 0:04:13.760 --> 0:04:15.440 The only thing I don't like about five twenty nine 0:04:15.560 --> 0:04:16.960 is that you really have to use it for an 0:04:17.040 --> 0:04:20.200 educational event, and if you don't, you know, then the 0:04:20.279 --> 0:04:24.720 tax the tax benefit that you got can be rescinded. 0:04:25.000 --> 0:04:26.600 And so I don't really that's why I didn't open 0:04:26.680 --> 0:04:28.960 up five twenty nine because I don't know the kids, 0:04:29.000 --> 0:04:31.960 like Amelia is five, I want to say, Lily is 0:04:32.520 --> 0:04:34.760 three or four, and Women is seven. They're still so young. 0:04:34.800 --> 0:04:36.080 I don't know what college is gonna look like when 0:04:36.120 --> 0:04:36.679 they get older. 0:04:36.760 --> 0:04:40.120 So I didn't want to pigeonhole their money specifically for education, 0:04:40.360 --> 0:04:42.080 just in case. I wanted them to be able to 0:04:42.160 --> 0:04:44.560 use their money to purchase a home, you know, to 0:04:44.600 --> 0:04:46.880 start a business, or to go to school or whatever. 0:04:47.360 --> 0:04:50.400 Okay, all right, Custodio. I hope that answers your question. 0:04:51.000 --> 0:04:53.720 So yeah, wait, before we do our next question, which 0:04:53.760 --> 0:04:54.880 is going to be a really good. 0:04:54.680 --> 0:04:57.960 One, let's take a breaking break. We'll be right back 0:05:00.040 --> 0:05:03.640 and I'm back in black. Question number two for you. 0:05:03.839 --> 0:05:08.039 So second question actually came from so it's not just 0:05:08.120 --> 0:05:10.760 my producer your money, but I get this question a lot, 0:05:10.800 --> 0:05:12.680 a lot, a lot a lot. If you guys know 0:05:12.720 --> 0:05:18.320 that I am a mental so I have this Patreon, 0:05:19.279 --> 0:05:22.280 which is this like online place where people can like 0:05:22.440 --> 0:05:24.000 they pay like a little bit of money every month, 0:05:24.040 --> 0:05:26.440 they have access to like whatever you're sharing. And so 0:05:26.560 --> 0:05:30.040 for me, I mentor specifically black women in business because 0:05:30.080 --> 0:05:32.120 I get so many questions, are there some men and 0:05:32.200 --> 0:05:35.080 things there? Yes, there's everybody black there, not necessarily, but 0:05:35.360 --> 0:05:38.240 that's my sweet spot because guess what, I am a 0:05:38.320 --> 0:05:41.360 black woman in business and I've been in business for 0:05:41.400 --> 0:05:44.560 over fifteen years, and man, any successful businesses. 0:05:45.040 --> 0:05:46.280 I cracked the code if you will. 0:05:46.279 --> 0:05:49.719 I've got the Budgetista multimillion dollar business. I got Literature 0:05:49.760 --> 0:05:53.120 Academy multimillion dollar business. I had a marketing business at 0:05:53.160 --> 0:05:55.280 one point that was like multi six figures a year 0:05:55.480 --> 0:05:56.159 Brown ambition. 0:05:56.880 --> 0:05:57.760 You know. Successful. 0:05:57.800 --> 0:05:59.440 When I say successful, the means we're in the black. 0:06:00.080 --> 0:06:02.160 You know, we make more than we spend. And I 0:06:02.200 --> 0:06:04.080 feel like I had another one either way that my 0:06:04.160 --> 0:06:07.279 businesses be doing good. But the Budgetissa was my original, 0:06:07.279 --> 0:06:10.440 and I learned so much that ends the upstebs and downs, 0:06:10.680 --> 0:06:13.880 and I worked really, really, really hard, sometimes too hard. 0:06:14.080 --> 0:06:15.880 But as a result of that, I've learned so many 0:06:15.960 --> 0:06:18.640 lessons that I continue to learn because I still have 0:06:19.320 --> 0:06:21.320 three of the for my businesses, and they all do well. 0:06:21.400 --> 0:06:23.599 And over the last I want to say, really, since 0:06:24.120 --> 0:06:26.640 I've made well over thirty million dollars in business, not 0:06:26.680 --> 0:06:29.040 as take home, but like in business gross especially in 0:06:29.080 --> 0:06:30.440 the last I'm want to say that thirty most of 0:06:30.440 --> 0:06:32.320 that thirty million probably make within the last five or 0:06:32.320 --> 0:06:32.839 six years. 0:06:32.839 --> 0:06:35.520 So the girl is doing good over here, and it's 0:06:35.520 --> 0:06:37.320 only getting gooder. As my niece would say. 0:06:37.920 --> 0:06:40.520 So I see all that to say that I get 0:06:40.760 --> 0:06:44.520 questions a lot about entrepreneurship, and lately you guys have 0:06:44.600 --> 0:06:46.360 made Oh sidebar, if you want to be a pay 0:06:46.440 --> 0:06:48.479 if you want to be a mentee, you can go 0:06:48.560 --> 0:06:50.840 to my mentor Tiffany dot com. 0:06:50.880 --> 0:06:52.520 It's ten bucks a month. I mean, girl, like, what 0:06:52.560 --> 0:06:54.480 are you doing? Ten bucks? You get all the. 0:06:54.400 --> 0:06:57.279 Resources and matter of fact, tonight, I mean, by the 0:06:57.279 --> 0:06:59.680 time you listen to it, you'll catch the replay. I 0:06:59.800 --> 0:07:03.000 am doing this ten step plan of how I made 0:07:03.000 --> 0:07:05.800 my book Get Your Money, a New York Times bestseller, 0:07:06.120 --> 0:07:08.320 a Wall Street Journal bestseller, and how I got to 0:07:08.360 --> 0:07:10.800 sell over two hundred and twenty thousand copies if within 0:07:10.840 --> 0:07:13.280 two years, which is unheard of. Most books sell about 0:07:13.440 --> 0:07:16.840 two thousand in a lifetime. I told two hundred thousand 0:07:16.920 --> 0:07:19.320 plus in two years. So I'm doing this ten step 0:07:19.320 --> 0:07:21.840 plan which I wrote. Took me three hours worth of notes. 0:07:21.880 --> 0:07:23.320 But that's the kind of stuff we do. A Patreon 0:07:23.360 --> 0:07:26.000 at my mentor Tiffany dot com. It's not too late. 0:07:26.040 --> 0:07:27.720 You can always catch our replays. It'll be pinned to 0:07:27.800 --> 0:07:28.120 the top. 0:07:28.520 --> 0:07:31.400 Anyway. A question I get. 0:07:31.200 --> 0:07:34.240 All the time from my mentees and the producer imani 0:07:34.280 --> 0:07:37.560 Are a producer. Young sister asked me this question. I 0:07:37.560 --> 0:07:40.080 get it a lot, is Tiffany. I've heard you say 0:07:40.520 --> 0:07:43.720 you're in your soft Girls shah Day era of business 0:07:43.880 --> 0:07:45.000 where you have pulled back. 0:07:45.280 --> 0:07:47.000 You are no longer in your Beyonce. 0:07:46.720 --> 0:07:49.360 Era of like Go Go Go, I'm an icon, I'm 0:07:49.400 --> 0:07:51.200 a legend, whatever it takes. 0:07:51.640 --> 0:07:55.080 That's cute for you, millionaire Tiffany. You know sidebar. 0:07:55.080 --> 0:07:56.400 I closed on my house and I don't know if 0:07:56.400 --> 0:07:57.760 I tell y'all, I bought it and I bought a 0:07:57.760 --> 0:08:00.760 cash I know so though that I've been talking to 0:08:00.800 --> 0:08:03.960 you all about bought it. So cute for you that 0:08:04.040 --> 0:08:06.880 you could take a step back. But what about us 0:08:07.200 --> 0:08:09.800 on the come up? What about us who are working 0:08:09.880 --> 0:08:13.520 tour trying to get to where you are. I cannot rest, 0:08:14.000 --> 0:08:16.720 I cannot sit back, I cannot shy day. I got 0:08:16.840 --> 0:08:22.640 the Beyonce gota gotta got it? And I say, do 0:08:22.680 --> 0:08:24.800 you because I know you look at me and you're like, 0:08:24.840 --> 0:08:26.800 but you got here as a result of on your 0:08:26.840 --> 0:08:29.560 Beyonce era, and I say, that's actually not true. 0:08:29.760 --> 0:08:30.400 Come closer. 0:08:30.920 --> 0:08:35.000 I got here despite being in my Beyonce era, because 0:08:35.040 --> 0:08:38.160 the Beyonce era almost took my life. Like if you 0:08:38.280 --> 0:08:41.560 listen to our podcast prior to this one. I'm not 0:08:41.559 --> 0:08:43.240 sure when this is going to come out, but we 0:08:43.280 --> 0:08:46.200 have a podcast with Kadeen and daval Ellis. They have 0:08:46.200 --> 0:08:48.800 a new book called We Over Me, New York Time bestseller, 0:08:49.000 --> 0:08:52.600 and Deval talks about how last year he passed out 0:08:52.600 --> 0:08:56.559 on set and he lost fifteen pounds in three days. 0:08:56.600 --> 0:08:58.920 His blood pressure was so low he thought he was 0:08:58.960 --> 0:09:02.559 having a heart attack. And they do very very very 0:09:02.640 --> 0:09:06.280 very very well in business, and yet all of the 0:09:06.320 --> 0:09:09.000 work that he was putting in for his family and 0:09:09.040 --> 0:09:11.200 for all this money almost took him out. 0:09:11.360 --> 0:09:12.240 And I have been there. 0:09:13.480 --> 0:09:18.160 I did well despite my Beyonce eerr because I created 0:09:18.160 --> 0:09:21.480 this goal for myself and just goals in general, and 0:09:21.520 --> 0:09:24.360 I would hit the goals and then fly past them. 0:09:24.679 --> 0:09:26.640 I want to make a hundred thousand dollars a year 0:09:26.640 --> 0:09:28.959 in business, freu past it. Barely even looked at it 0:09:29.040 --> 0:09:30.800 when I hit it. I wanna get make a million 0:09:30.840 --> 0:09:32.520 dollars a year, fru past. I want to be making 0:09:32.559 --> 0:09:36.560 million dollars in a month, free past it, And like, 0:09:37.000 --> 0:09:40.720 how much more did I need? That? Like? I was 0:09:41.120 --> 0:09:46.679 overworking and overwhelming myself into the most unhealthy I'd ever been. 0:09:46.720 --> 0:09:49.040 I had gained like thirty pounds. My blood pressure was 0:09:49.080 --> 0:09:52.120 through the roof. I never had high blood pressure. I 0:09:52.200 --> 0:09:54.120 was not sleeping just a few hours a night. I 0:09:54.120 --> 0:09:57.120 thought five hours was a lot of sleep. Overwork and 0:09:57.200 --> 0:09:59.080 overwhelmed to what end? 0:10:00.080 --> 0:10:00.760 To what end? 0:10:01.520 --> 0:10:05.240 And it took for I knew something was wrong, like 0:10:05.280 --> 0:10:07.440 a couple of years ago, and I goten a business coach, 0:10:07.440 --> 0:10:09.560 and I got in a therapist to try to undo 0:10:09.679 --> 0:10:11.840 some of the things I've done, you know, because I 0:10:11.880 --> 0:10:14.880 had painted myself into an entrepreneur corner where I had 0:10:14.920 --> 0:10:18.400 such a huge staff of thirty people that I had 0:10:18.440 --> 0:10:20.160 to work as hard as I was working in order 0:10:20.160 --> 0:10:23.200 to maintain everyone's salaries. I had to That's what I 0:10:23.200 --> 0:10:27.200 told myself in that space you start to create. I 0:10:27.280 --> 0:10:29.440 have to keep going at this pace in order to 0:10:29.480 --> 0:10:33.400 maintain I and you're right, in order to maintain the 0:10:33.440 --> 0:10:36.400 toxic thing you created, you do have to go that hard. 0:10:37.120 --> 0:10:40.320 But the alternative is I can undo the toxic environment 0:10:40.320 --> 0:10:43.360 I've created for myself. I can say I'm gonna have 0:10:43.440 --> 0:10:45.880 to let some of these people go. I can say 0:10:45.960 --> 0:10:47.360 I actually don't need as much money. 0:10:47.800 --> 0:10:50.640 I don't. I can say, you know. 0:10:50.640 --> 0:10:54.199 What, like like I don't need to be on every show, 0:10:54.360 --> 0:10:56.600 on every you know, morning. 0:10:56.280 --> 0:10:58.080 Show, on every whatever. I can say that. 0:10:58.480 --> 0:11:01.600 I can say the goalpart post is here, girl, not 0:11:01.760 --> 0:11:05.280 past here, and I could stop right here. I can 0:11:05.480 --> 0:11:08.160 understand and absorb what it looks like to have enough, 0:11:09.600 --> 0:11:12.959 because if not, your body will sit you down. 0:11:13.080 --> 0:11:14.280 If you don't sit down. 0:11:14.400 --> 0:11:17.000 And then for what for what if you have a stroke. 0:11:17.040 --> 0:11:20.760 I had a friend Marie Antoinette. We went to Kenya together. Well, 0:11:21.360 --> 0:11:23.080 I met her in Kenya. Now I consider her like 0:11:23.080 --> 0:11:27.560 you know my Booski, right, she is beautiful, healthy, like 0:11:27.720 --> 0:11:29.319 just if you were to look at her like she's 0:11:29.360 --> 0:11:33.679 forty five, look at twenty five, just beautiful, fine, amazing woman. 0:11:34.480 --> 0:11:37.120 She had multiple strokes a few months ago and I 0:11:37.160 --> 0:11:40.560 could share that because she posted it on social multiple strokes. 0:11:40.880 --> 0:11:43.480 What the hell is going on with us? That we 0:11:43.559 --> 0:11:47.160 are working ourselves to literal death? What will it take? 0:11:47.679 --> 0:11:48.920 Will it take for you to have a heart attack? 0:11:48.960 --> 0:11:50.880 That's what you're looking for? What will it take it 0:11:50.920 --> 0:11:55.160 took for my husband to die to say your Nextif 0:11:56.000 --> 0:11:58.840 the hell? All the things I told myself were too 0:11:58.880 --> 0:12:01.719 impossible to shift because I have to. 0:12:02.480 --> 0:12:03.160 I have to. 0:12:03.520 --> 0:12:05.680 I gotta pay this, I gotta get this my mom 0:12:05.679 --> 0:12:09.000 and my dad. It took for my husband to die 0:12:09.360 --> 0:12:11.800 for me to say, who told me that? Like, I 0:12:11.840 --> 0:12:15.760 don't have to? And so I shifted everything. And now 0:12:15.760 --> 0:12:20.640 you see me like I created space that was there already. 0:12:20.679 --> 0:12:22.880 That's not even true. I didn't create it. I acknowledge 0:12:23.080 --> 0:12:26.880 the space that was there. I no longer working March 0:12:27.440 --> 0:12:30.200 August or December. Now, first, I was nervous to say that, 0:12:30.240 --> 0:12:32.000 even for the podcast. I was like, Oh, what we 0:12:32.120 --> 0:12:36.280 gonna do? So the key is determine the space that 0:12:36.320 --> 0:12:38.280 you're wanting in your life. I don't want to work Fridays, 0:12:38.280 --> 0:12:39.920 I don't want to work pass five, I don't and 0:12:40.080 --> 0:12:45.200 adjust your life accordingly. I told everybody March August December. 0:12:45.240 --> 0:12:45.800 I'm out. 0:12:46.280 --> 0:12:49.679 I'm out, and guess what we tape extra podcast episodes. 0:12:50.240 --> 0:12:51.720 Mandy will do some taping on her own. 0:12:52.520 --> 0:12:52.720 Right. 0:12:52.960 --> 0:12:54.760 The team already knows what they have to work on. 0:12:54.840 --> 0:12:57.360 I'm going to Egypt next week, okay, and guess what. 0:12:57.400 --> 0:12:59.360 You won't see me post about it on social you know, 0:12:59.400 --> 0:13:03.040 maybe six month now. I am determined to live well 0:13:03.200 --> 0:13:05.959 now and you can if you are on the come up. 0:13:06.200 --> 0:13:09.400 Does it look like hard work for success? Absolutely? I 0:13:09.440 --> 0:13:12.880 still work hard. I just don't overwork. I integrate the 0:13:13.000 --> 0:13:14.160 rest into the work. 0:13:14.840 --> 0:13:17.960 It's a weave, you know, Like think about like a 0:13:18.240 --> 0:13:21.240 like a blanket that someone's weaving together, your grandmother's crocheting 0:13:21.240 --> 0:13:21.960 a new color in. 0:13:22.280 --> 0:13:25.880 You have to add that color of rest into the work. 0:13:26.640 --> 0:13:27.400 I'll give you example. 0:13:27.480 --> 0:13:30.680 One of my mentees, aka my sister Tracy, she started 0:13:30.679 --> 0:13:33.120 her business. She's a publicist. She's my publicism. So the 0:13:33.160 --> 0:13:36.280 beginning I was her first client. First year, she was 0:13:36.320 --> 0:13:39.000 a walking zombie because she lived with me and seven 0:13:39.040 --> 0:13:40.760 days a week, all day, all night. 0:13:40.800 --> 0:13:41.880 She was going to. 0:13:41.760 --> 0:13:44.280 Pass out and I was like, girl, what are you doing? 0:13:44.679 --> 0:13:47.360 I just you know, it's just so much work, I said, 0:13:47.840 --> 0:13:48.679 it's too much. 0:13:49.040 --> 0:13:49.560 You have to. 0:13:49.960 --> 0:13:51.280 You have to draw a line in the sand and 0:13:51.280 --> 0:13:52.760 say I'm going to stop working at this time. But 0:13:52.920 --> 0:13:54.480 it's so there's always going to be a lot of 0:13:54.480 --> 0:13:57.960 work to do. You have to adjust your schedule accordingly. 0:13:58.000 --> 0:13:59.719 You have to say, if the work is not done 0:13:59.720 --> 0:14:01.440 by this time, I will just push it to the 0:14:01.480 --> 0:14:03.760 next day. Or do I even really need to do 0:14:03.800 --> 0:14:06.800 these things? Because not everything yields results. I was doing 0:14:06.880 --> 0:14:09.800 stuff that took me ten hours to buy one hour. 0:14:10.040 --> 0:14:10.960 It's like, what are you doing? 0:14:11.720 --> 0:14:15.000 Not everything yield results, So you need to discern what 0:14:15.200 --> 0:14:17.480 actually is going to yield the results and put your 0:14:17.559 --> 0:14:19.800 energy toward that. I promise she's probably about eighty percent 0:14:19.840 --> 0:14:22.160 of the stuff that you're doing is not really really 0:14:22.240 --> 0:14:24.920 doing much. It's the twenty percent that's making the biggest results. 0:14:25.000 --> 0:14:28.800 And that eighty is yielding twenty percent. It's not that serious, right. 0:14:28.880 --> 0:14:31.560 And so then because living with me, she saw I 0:14:31.600 --> 0:14:34.080 had Wednesday's light. I don't take no calls on Wednesdays. 0:14:34.200 --> 0:14:36.480 I have Fridays off. She started to take Fridays off, 0:14:36.680 --> 0:14:39.160 which is crazy to think about for a brand near 0:14:39.440 --> 0:14:41.880 new year two business taking Fridays off. 0:14:42.520 --> 0:14:43.360 She takes Fridays off. 0:14:43.360 --> 0:14:45.200 She gets her hair done, she gets her nails done, 0:14:45.240 --> 0:14:47.000 she gets in massage, a facial. I see her come 0:14:47.040 --> 0:14:49.600 back in the house like, hey girl, and I was like, 0:14:49.680 --> 0:14:52.560 and yet business ain't slow down. She's got more clients 0:14:52.560 --> 0:14:54.080 than ever. And I asked her, how did you do it? 0:14:54.120 --> 0:14:57.080 She said, you were right. If I take Fridays off, 0:14:57.280 --> 0:14:58.840 in my mind, I'm like, I gotta get this thing 0:14:58.880 --> 0:15:02.240 done between Monday and Thursday, and I do. You will adjust. 0:15:02.640 --> 0:15:04.720 Those of you who are parents, You have one kid? 0:15:04.760 --> 0:15:06.920 How will I manage just one kid? Then you have 0:15:07.040 --> 0:15:12.920 to you adjust, you know, force rest into the space 0:15:12.960 --> 0:15:15.800 that you're in. Even Beyonce and all her Beyonce, if 0:15:15.800 --> 0:15:18.680 you watch her Homecoming special that was on Netflix, did 0:15:18.720 --> 0:15:19.520 you hear what she said? 0:15:19.640 --> 0:15:20.240 I caught it. 0:15:20.720 --> 0:15:25.040 She said, doing that Homecoming special and doing like that 0:15:25.040 --> 0:15:28.200 that concert and all of the you know videos, and 0:15:28.320 --> 0:15:30.560 it nearly broke her. She said, it almost killed me. 0:15:31.240 --> 0:15:33.800 That never worked so hard. It was, that was the 0:15:33.880 --> 0:15:35.960 hardest thing she ever did. And she said, I'm never 0:15:36.600 --> 0:15:42.800 doing that again. Beyonce said that I'm never doing that 0:15:42.880 --> 0:15:45.920 again because she understood. 0:15:45.400 --> 0:15:48.120 It's too much. I don't deserve to. 0:15:48.520 --> 0:15:50.600 I don't I don't have to give people my life 0:15:51.120 --> 0:15:52.800 in order for what so I could be an icon 0:15:53.480 --> 0:15:56.040 the hill. She said, I'm never doing that again. And 0:15:56.080 --> 0:15:59.840 guess what we're our visuals for renaissance. They hear because 0:16:00.200 --> 0:16:03.760 Beyonce and all her Beyonce okay. And so I want 0:16:03.800 --> 0:16:08.560 you to understand that rest is not something that you deserve, like, 0:16:08.640 --> 0:16:11.400 oh I got to earn it. No, it is your birthright, 0:16:11.840 --> 0:16:13.880 meaning like you don't got to do something to deserve rest. 0:16:14.080 --> 0:16:16.160 By nature of you being a human being, you get 0:16:16.200 --> 0:16:18.240 to rest. It's part of life. 0:16:18.800 --> 0:16:19.160 Damn. 0:16:19.280 --> 0:16:20.680 We live in the East Coast, right, I live in 0:16:20.680 --> 0:16:22.880 the East Coast. The trees have been resting the last 0:16:22.920 --> 0:16:27.440 few months because even nature says, lay down, Lee's fall. 0:16:27.240 --> 0:16:28.360 Because you're stressing out the trees. 0:16:28.400 --> 0:16:33.720 They need a moment to relax and recover. Trees recoop, 0:16:33.720 --> 0:16:36.040 relax and recover. The birds don't do all that all 0:16:36.120 --> 0:16:38.960 year long. Bears be chilling, squirrels be chilling. 0:16:39.000 --> 0:16:39.400 Why not? 0:16:39.560 --> 0:16:42.280 Why are you not taking a moment to recoop, relax 0:16:42.280 --> 0:16:45.120 and recover. Like you might say that, I know people 0:16:45.160 --> 0:16:46.880 who are like you know, like I just want my 0:16:46.920 --> 0:16:48.560 biggest goals. I want to buy this one house. They 0:16:48.560 --> 0:16:50.080 buy the house and then oh, I want to be 0:16:50.120 --> 0:16:50.760 a second one. 0:16:50.920 --> 0:16:51.200 Girl. 0:16:52.080 --> 0:16:54.440 Have you even luxuriated in the fact that you got 0:16:54.480 --> 0:16:58.560 this first thing because you keep pushing the goalpost and 0:16:58.600 --> 0:17:03.160 stressing yourself the hell? Oh? I want you to integrate 0:17:03.240 --> 0:17:07.280 some rules into your life until you become to embody 0:17:07.320 --> 0:17:09.320 the thing. One of the things I learned in therapy 0:17:09.400 --> 0:17:12.399 is that in the beginning, when you're learning to shift 0:17:12.440 --> 0:17:16.600 your behavior, you incorporate these rules, rules and regulations. If 0:17:16.600 --> 0:17:18.080 I do this, did I do this? If I do this, 0:17:18.119 --> 0:17:18.680 then I do this. 0:17:19.000 --> 0:17:19.840 And after a while. 0:17:19.880 --> 0:17:22.879 The point is that after a while, the rules become 0:17:22.920 --> 0:17:25.000 a part of you and you don't need them anymore 0:17:25.040 --> 0:17:28.280 because you begin to embody the person that does that. Like, 0:17:28.600 --> 0:17:30.920 you know, like if I was a smoker, I choose 0:17:30.960 --> 0:17:33.639 my Nicorett gum, you know, because it helps me not smoke, 0:17:33.680 --> 0:17:35.600 and then one day you're just a non smoker. I 0:17:35.640 --> 0:17:37.800 don't smoke, so I got to worry about that Nicorette gum. 0:17:37.960 --> 0:17:40.359 That's so that's where we're all moving toward embodiment. So 0:17:40.400 --> 0:17:43.760 when you're listening, Okay, now, in the beginning, I want 0:17:43.800 --> 0:17:44.840 you to put these things in. 0:17:44.920 --> 0:17:46.840 I'm going to take my Wednesday's light. I'm just making 0:17:46.960 --> 0:17:47.480 up stuff for you. 0:17:47.600 --> 0:17:51.080 I'm going to take my Fridays off after every major accomplishment, 0:17:51.119 --> 0:17:53.320 I will not start a new project for one month, 0:17:53.440 --> 0:17:56.000 two months, three months after. I want you to put 0:17:56.040 --> 0:17:59.040 these rules in place for yourself, because it's a new 0:17:59.080 --> 0:18:02.160 way of being. You put these rules in place for yourself, 0:18:02.359 --> 0:18:06.520 and over time, if you adhere to these rules for yourself, 0:18:06.600 --> 0:18:09.439 you learn to start to embody and become a person 0:18:09.440 --> 0:18:13.160 who's just like that. I no longer have these rules about, 0:18:13.160 --> 0:18:14.760 oh I don't work on Wednesday. I have a call 0:18:15.440 --> 0:18:18.720 on Wednesday, like tomorrow, you know, And oh I don't 0:18:18.720 --> 0:18:20.640 work on Fridays. Sometimes I do stuff on Friday because 0:18:20.680 --> 0:18:24.159 I embody a person that does not overwork and overwhelm. 0:18:24.520 --> 0:18:26.800 So although I might still I might do something on 0:18:26.800 --> 0:18:28.600 Wednesdays and Fridays. Now, when I had this rule in 0:18:28.640 --> 0:18:32.120