Speaker 1: Hi Catherine, Hi Chelsea.
Speaker 2: How are you.
Speaker 1: I'm good. I'm good. I'm here, I'm queer. Get used
Speaker 1: to it.
Speaker 2: You are heading to Whistler very shortly.
Speaker 1: I am.
Speaker 3: I'm about to go on a road trip with the dogs,
Speaker 3: and I'm scared a little bit, but I'm also looking
Speaker 3: forward to it. I'm gonna listen to a book on tape.
Speaker 3: I just have to figure out which book.
Speaker 1: Do you have any suggestions?
Speaker 4: You know what I do. So I just watched the
Speaker 4: movie of this. Leave the World Behind is a new
Speaker 4: movie that came out on Netflix. It's got like Julia
Speaker 4: Roberts and stuff, and it's about not post apocalyptic, but
Speaker 4: like the apocalypse basically starting. There's some like race elements
Speaker 4: in it. It's very interesting called Leave the World Behind.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I've heard about this. Somebody else mentioned that.
Speaker 4: Yes, I read the book a couple of years ago
Speaker 4: and I loved it. It's really good and I loved
Speaker 4: the movie too. So yeah, that's what I would recommend,
Speaker 4: Leave the World Behind, Leave the World Behind. Okay, Chelsea,
Speaker 4: you've got some new dates in you know, Australia.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, we just announced dates and Australia and New
Speaker 3: Zealand so I'm coming in July to Australia, so yes,
Speaker 3: get your dates there, Chelseahandler dot com. And I still
Speaker 3: have all my Canadian dates this winter. I had more
Speaker 3: dates coming in the fall for America, North America Chelsea
Speaker 3: Handler America, which is the lower forty eight, even though
Speaker 3: I'm half Canadian.
Speaker 4: At this point, I mean, your tour goes right on
Speaker 4: through the rest of next year, right.
Speaker 1: Yes, there's no end in sight as of now, so
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 4: Honestly, I feel like it's a really good holiday gift
Speaker 4: because they can get themselves a ticket and their best
Speaker 4: friend a ticket or spouse or whatever, but then they
Speaker 4: also get.
Speaker 2: To go see you.
Speaker 3: It is a good holiday ticket. And this show is
Speaker 3: so fun. Yeah, I mean it's always fun, but this
Speaker 3: is one is really stupid.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 3: This one is so stupid because it's so not political,
Speaker 3: because we're so all exhausted from politics and all that,
Speaker 3: so this one is really There's nothing quite like getting
Speaker 3: to masturbate on stage.
Speaker 2: In front of thousands of people to show.
Speaker 1: People what I was up to when I was nine
Speaker 1: years old.
Speaker 2: Excellent, Should we welcome our guest?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 3: Yes, today we have one of my childhood idols Tiffany
Speaker 3: Amber Theeson, even though we were with the same age.
Speaker 3: Probably I was obsessed with her growing up because I
Speaker 3: was always wanted to be a brunette, even though I
Speaker 3: was dyeing my hair. Yes, she's on today, So I
Speaker 3: ran into her the other night and I was like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 3: you should come on the podcast. She came to one
Speaker 3: of my shows, so let's yes, let's say hello, Okay,
Speaker 3: I'm here with Tiffany Theson And didn't it used to
Speaker 3: first of all, Tiffany Hello, Hello, Hi, Hi, welcome, Welcome
Speaker 3: to the show.
Speaker 1: What happened to Amber? Where is she?
Speaker 6: So it's still there legally, Like on my driver's license
Speaker 6: it says Tiffany Amber Smith now because I did take
Speaker 6: my husband's name, but it's just my middle name. It
Speaker 6: was hyphenated when I started this crazy business because they
Speaker 6: thought it was cool. I guess it was kind of
Speaker 6: It was popular back then to have a hyphenated name.
Speaker 3: They call that in you know, in the UK, they
Speaker 3: call that like a double barrel name when you have
Speaker 3: like well, I mean it's two last names, but they
Speaker 3: used it's like a last name for your middle name,
Speaker 3: so it sounds a little bit more.
Speaker 6: They fascinated, but it wasn't legally hyphenated. It was never
Speaker 6: legally hyphened same hyphen I don't know if they don't
Speaker 6: know if they did, but I'm just on my like
Speaker 6: resume and on my all my headshots, they hyphenated it
Speaker 6: to make it Tiffany Amber, which was weird.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 6: Yeah, some agent told me to do it, and then
Speaker 6: I was like.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, you know what a guy told me he
Speaker 1: wants to do.
Speaker 3: He told me to put a bird on my fucking
Speaker 3: shoulder to do stand up because he thought I wouldn't.
Speaker 3: This is what Jamie Massada from We Do And from
Speaker 3: the laugh Actory once told me, put a bird on
Speaker 3: your shoulder so you can separate yourself from the other girls.
Speaker 3: He goes, because you're too pretty. I was like, and
Speaker 3: he goes, a bird distracting that people wouldn't be able
Speaker 3: to pay attention to what I'm saying.
Speaker 6: So he said a bird would help.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I was like, well, obviously I'm never going
Speaker 3: to fucking do that. And I still tell him the
Speaker 3: story anytime I pop into the laugh Actory, which is
Speaker 3: very seldom.
Speaker 6: Is he still working there?
Speaker 1: Yeah, he still owns it runs.
Speaker 3: Yeah, what was it like for you when you started
Speaker 3: out in this business, because that was before anybody had
Speaker 3: any rules about how to treat women.
Speaker 6: That's true, That is very true. I have to say
Speaker 6: I think I was pretty lucky. I had moments, one
Speaker 6: specific one I do remember when I was shooting nine
Speaker 6: to two and O and which is nice. We act
Speaker 6: can talk about this shit now. Yeah, yeah, for sure,
Speaker 6: I know it was not crazy. But yeah, no, I
Speaker 6: was actually pretty lucky to not have a lot of
Speaker 6: horrible stories. I've had a couple, but not for as
Speaker 6: long as I've been doing this business. You would think
Speaker 6: I would have a ship ton of them, but I don't.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, it's funny. Yeah you hear how prevalent
Speaker 3: and and you know I had.
Speaker 6: Totally grab me in the middle of a scene and
Speaker 6: he thought it was okay because he was in character,
Speaker 6: and I was like, fuck you, this has nothing to
Speaker 6: do with being in character.
Speaker 3: Grabbed you in the peaka complete completely oh stopped production.
Speaker 6: I was pissed. I was mad. I was really mad,
Speaker 6: and I embarrassed the shit out of him in front
Speaker 6: of my home because it was my show. I was
Speaker 6: on nine O two one it was my show. He
Speaker 6: was a guest star, like a reoccurring older gentleman. Piece
Speaker 6: of shit, total piece of shit. And uh I stopped
Speaker 6: production and everything we were shooting in Mexico too.
Speaker 1: Oh good for you.
Speaker 6: I'm sure someone will figure out who it was. I
Speaker 6: gave him a lot of clues.
Speaker 3: Yeah, how was it working with the girls on nine
Speaker 3: oh two? And that was probably because my experience, my experience,
Speaker 3: I was I had more trouble women in powerful positions,
Speaker 3: and because you guys were all I think women.
Speaker 6: I have a teenage daughter. I think women are ten
Speaker 6: times harder. I know, they're total little you know what.
Speaker 6: I know that's I mean, I think because they're just
Speaker 6: so emotional and they get insecure and of course, you know,
Speaker 6: like my husband always says, guys would just beat it out,
Speaker 6: they'd hit each other and you'd move on. Like girls
Speaker 6: are like manipulative. It's all mental, you know. So I
Speaker 6: think it's sort of the same. Yeah, they were cruel,
Speaker 6: they were horrible. Yeah, I've been very open about it.
Speaker 6: I talked about it on Howards certain that, like, I'm
Speaker 6: very open about it. They all know it was terrible.
Speaker 6: They made me feel like shit.
Speaker 1: Well because you were a newcomer.
Speaker 6: I was a newcomer. I was coming on replacing Shannon
Speaker 6: Dorney on the show.
Speaker 3: Oh right, right, so that must have been it. Well,
Speaker 3: they and they didn't get along before that, so.
Speaker 6: They were having I guess issues with her in the beginning,
Speaker 6: and then I was coming on, but I was coming
Speaker 6: from another popular show. Who knows what the reason was,
Speaker 6: but yeah, it was. It was bad at the beginning,
Speaker 6: and then you know, I think they finally realized I
Speaker 6: was kind of a nice girl. It wasn't like mean
Speaker 6: or anything. So and then they came around.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so I saw you recently. You were at my show. Yeah, outrageous,
Speaker 3: l A, thank you. It was such a nice surprise
Speaker 3: to see you.
Speaker 6: It was fun, it was awesome.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So tell me about your life now, Tell me about
Speaker 3: your marriage, Tell me about being a mother.
Speaker 1: I want to know how, I really want to know.
Speaker 5: I do.
Speaker 3: I'm curious because I'm never going to do it, so
Speaker 3: I'm always fascinated by it.
Speaker 6: I have quite a few friends who are very adamant
Speaker 6: and very sure that they do not want to have kids,
Speaker 6: and I appreciate that because I appreciate people who know
Speaker 6: what they want for whatever reason, career, life choice, marriage,
Speaker 6: not marriage, kids or whatever. I appreciate people who know
Speaker 6: what they want. And I also appreciate we have a
Speaker 6: lot of people on this planet, like for people who
Speaker 6: not who don't want to procreate. Good for you, Thank.
Speaker 2: You, I know, thank you. Yeah, I appreciate welcome. That's true.
Speaker 6: Though I wanted to have a couple, I had one
Speaker 6: of each. I was lucky and that I'm done.
Speaker 3: You know, I'm done, and it's at And what is
Speaker 3: the best part about it?
Speaker 1: I think.
Speaker 6: I think a little bit of the like when they
Speaker 6: do something good, you're like, oh, that's me, you know,
Speaker 6: like a little braggy. It's a little braggy, a little
Speaker 6: braggy at times, you know, in a good way. I
Speaker 6: guess the unconditional love is quite nice. You know, you
Speaker 6: don't have to work at it as hard like marriage
Speaker 6: is hard. I feel like the unconditional part of having
Speaker 6: a child is a little easier because it's a piece
Speaker 6: of you. Maybe I don't know, I don't know why.
Speaker 1: You're not trying to cultivate a front a relationship with them.
Speaker 6: It's a natural shape. Yeah, it's a natural thing. As
Speaker 6: much as you know, there's moments where I want to
Speaker 6: kill them.
Speaker 3: Because I was reading this book and it really got
Speaker 3: me thinking about you know how when you're a child,
Speaker 3: you're so consumed as a being with being a child, right,
Speaker 3: you're not considering your parents' existence. Even you're not considering
Speaker 3: your dad's or your mom's job or the stress that
Speaker 3: they may be, and certainly not their history. You're not
Speaker 3: thinking like, I wonder what mom, my mom? What where
Speaker 3: your child was like I didn't, I didn't wonder. I
Speaker 3: was like, ah, it wasn't.
Speaker 6: It wasn't until later.
Speaker 3: It's so funny because you know, you're a child and
Speaker 3: you think you're the most important thing in the universe,
Speaker 3: and your parents are the most important things in the
Speaker 3: universe as well, but you're not as interested in their
Speaker 3: like complexity or nuance.
Speaker 1: And then or story.
Speaker 3: And then you become a parent and the roles completely
Speaker 3: flipped because all you care about is your child, but
Speaker 3: it's not all you care about because.
Speaker 6: But then you also have the other flip sides. So
Speaker 6: now I have aging parents too, right, So I have
Speaker 6: taking care of my children because I started a little later,
Speaker 6: and then I have the taking care of my parents.
Speaker 6: So it's it's this really interesting sort of dual other side, ye,
Speaker 6: taking care of people that you really care about, right.
Speaker 2: The Sandwich generation, that's.
Speaker 6: The same, right, Yeah, And that's kind of where I
Speaker 6: am right now. It's like both sides.
Speaker 1: And are your parents still together?
Speaker 6: They are, They're still together, still married. My dad's a
Speaker 6: lot older than my mom by seven years, so we
Speaker 6: see the age difference now as they're getting older and
Speaker 6: my mom's still doing awesome and my dad's you know,
Speaker 6: definitely aging a little faster, right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So speak to me about that aspect of things, like,
Speaker 3: because I find it curious and compelling, Like, I'm very
Speaker 3: interested in how do you shift from what your your
Speaker 3: own needs are to what your child's needs are? Like
Speaker 3: when do you know that you like that has to
Speaker 3: be a priority, you know, regardless of being like sick
Speaker 3: or an emergency situation.
Speaker 1: How do you know how to balance what you want
Speaker 1: to do with your I.
Speaker 6: Think it's an everyday thing. It's there. There is no
Speaker 6: rhyme or reason. I do believe now that my children
Speaker 6: are a little bit older, I feel like it can
Speaker 6: have a little more selfish moments, you know, And I've
Speaker 6: talked about this pretty openly I'm going to be fifty,
Speaker 6: and I'm like, you know, I feel pretty good where
Speaker 6: I've been able to kind of almost breathe a little
Speaker 6: bit more with my kids now that they're older, because
Speaker 6: they're not babies, they're not infants where that is like
Speaker 6: twenty four fucking seven.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean nothing. They can even sit up when
Speaker 1: they're born.
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, so, like I feel
Speaker 6: a little bit better. But now it's a it's a
Speaker 6: different difficult right, It's it's there. I have a teenager now,
Speaker 6: so I'm dealing with making sure like boys stay away
Speaker 6: from her, and she understands, like, you could ruin your
Speaker 6: life if you know, if you do anything like that,
Speaker 6: you know, right now at thirteen, and like trying to
Speaker 6: get her to understand how bad social media is and
Speaker 6: not have that right now.
Speaker 1: Does she not have?
Speaker 6: No, she does not have it.
Speaker 1: Oh is she pissed about that?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 6: Yeah, of course she's. Yeah, she's she's she's asked for
Speaker 6: so long the last like year and a half that
Speaker 6: I think she's tired of asking. So she's gotten a
Speaker 6: little bit better about it. And she'll just kind of
Speaker 6: come over and check my nod every now and then.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I mean it's I feel like this might
Speaker 3: be the moment in time where we all just I know,
Speaker 3: I'm not on social media nearly as much as I
Speaker 3: was before this whole thing has started in the Middle East.
Speaker 3: I can't even look because it's so ugly, it's so
Speaker 3: nasty that I had to set a timer. I had
Speaker 3: my girlfriend because I'm technologically not equipped. I had my
Speaker 3: girlfriend set a timer, a time limit on right for
Speaker 3: you and so. But but it gives you the option
Speaker 3: do you want your forty five minutes are up? Do
Speaker 3: you want to stay on or you would you like.
Speaker 1: To ignore this for an hour? Or do you want
Speaker 1: to ignore this for the day.
Speaker 3: And I'm like, uh, but I had that timer hasn't
Speaker 3: come up once in the last six the whole thing.
Speaker 6: I know that, So back in the day, we weren't
Speaker 6: meant to see all that kind of stuff. As much
Speaker 6: as I know we're we should and we should be
Speaker 6: aware of what's happening in our in our world. But
Speaker 6: it's a lot for the psyche, a lot.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I can really bring it.
Speaker 6: And I think for a thirteen year old girl, I
Speaker 6: was like, oh, no, way, no, that happened.
Speaker 1: Like they're not dealing with enough.
Speaker 6: But I mean I remember they were already dealing with
Speaker 6: shit at school.
Speaker 3: I remember getting left out of stuff in like elementary school.
Speaker 3: Like my girlfriends would all get together, and the reason
Speaker 3: I found out was because like one of the mean
Speaker 3: girls would say, we're all getting together without you, and
Speaker 3: I would just like destroy me.
Speaker 1: Can you imagine you find evidence? It's just all in.
Speaker 6: Fact, instant, Yeah, that instant, And then they all talk
Speaker 6: about it, and then they share photos and this whole
Speaker 6: snapchat thing and.
Speaker 3: Like, oh, and does your daughter have a pretty healthy attitude?
Speaker 1: Like how would you describe her state of being with
Speaker 1: sch She's.
Speaker 6: Pretty good, but she's also thirteen. She's in middle school,
Speaker 6: and middle school sucks. I mean, I don't know anybody
Speaker 6: who said middle school was the best years of their life.
Speaker 6: Wasn't mine?
Speaker 1: No, I mean certainly not high school. High school was brutal.
Speaker 1: Middle school was more brutal too.
Speaker 6: I think middle school was more brutal for me.
Speaker 3: High school I just checked out. I had an older boyfriend,
Speaker 3: and I was like, fuck this sho.
Speaker 6: I had an older boyfriend too. I was like, I
Speaker 6: don't need you.
Speaker 3: I mean, it was it was illegal for sure or
Speaker 3: what I was doing, but I mean.
Speaker 6: Whatever, we don't talk about that, Chelsea, because I have
Speaker 6: a thirteen year old daughter and you know nothing about.
Speaker 3: That, that's right, And I don't know what the statute
Speaker 3: of limitations is on that, So we'll just keep everybody
Speaker 3: protected here. And you're into food, and you're into like
Speaker 3: I know you're into cooking.
Speaker 6: You love your cook I love food.
Speaker 3: He has a new cookbook at what's the name of it,
Speaker 3: Here we Go Again? Okay, it's called here we Go Again.
Speaker 3: I need a fucking cookbook because I have a brand
Speaker 3: new house with this gorgeous kitchen and I don't know
Speaker 3: whether I don't know what to do.
Speaker 6: I'll come over and I'll help you.
Speaker 1: I would love that.
Speaker 6: I'm also really good organizing too, so I can help
Speaker 6: you put your kitchen away.
Speaker 3: And also you're like very into clean food, right, and
Speaker 3: like you recite like.
Speaker 6: Not wasting, yes, wasting, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I
Speaker 6: was gonna say clean food. No, I'll have a good
Speaker 6: Mayo sandwich with some meat and bacon and all that. Yeah. No, no, no,
Speaker 6: I'm not going with cultural I understand it, and I
Speaker 6: try to eat as clean as possible during the weekend.
Speaker 6: Then I have a little fun on the weekends. But no,
Speaker 6: I love food. I love all types of food. But no,
Speaker 6: I I the book that I This is my second cookbook.
Speaker 6: My first one was called Pull Up a Chair, and
Speaker 6: this one's called Here we Go Again. And I really
Speaker 6: wanted to do a book this time around about food
Speaker 6: waste because I believe it truly is one of the
Speaker 6: biggest contributores to climate change. Now. Granted, you know, corporations
Speaker 6: are really the biggest issue right we have right now,
Speaker 6: but it really can start at least a little bit
Speaker 6: at home. And so I've been trying to teach my
Speaker 6: kids about, you know, you know, recycling food in a
Speaker 6: way where I'm like, don't throw that out, We'll make
Speaker 6: them into like, you know, enchiladas tomorrow or whatever. Like
Speaker 6: that kind of thing started, And then it got me
Speaker 6: thinking I was raised that way. I was raised in
Speaker 6: a house where, you know, my dad worked two jobs
Speaker 6: to allow my mom to stay home and raise kids,
Speaker 6: and and we didn't have a ton of money. So
Speaker 6: my mom was kind of doing this as I grew up,
Speaker 6: and I was like, my mom's really like the queen
Speaker 6: of leftovers. Really, like that was how I learned how
Speaker 6: to like upcycle food so I was like, I've never
Speaker 6: seen a cobook like that. So that's what I That's
Speaker 6: what I did during COVID. I was like, Oh, this
Speaker 6: sounds like a good idea.
Speaker 1: Let's try I like upcycle food cycle. I like that.
Speaker 1: That's good. Yeah.
Speaker 6: So anyways, and it's really trying to, like, you know,
Speaker 6: teach my kids to be better, because the kids are
Speaker 6: the worst. I feel like the kids are the worst
Speaker 6: about wasting.
Speaker 5: I know.
Speaker 3: It's like they need to have a class in school
Speaker 3: about climate change, like totally dedicated to that.
Speaker 6: I feel like they're starting to hitting a little more. I
Speaker 6: think they're also like high in anxiety, like really like
Speaker 6: having some anxiety issues understanding like the issues that we're
Speaker 6: having in our world about climate change and all that.
Speaker 6: But I do believe I think they are teaching at
Speaker 6: least my kids school. They're starting to teach it. So
Speaker 6: I don't know, we'll see, let's hope.
Speaker 1: So tell me about your husband. How did you guys
Speaker 1: hook up?
Speaker 6: We are together twenty years married eighteen, which in Hollywood
Speaker 6: is a fucking lifetime. We were set up on a
Speaker 6: blain date really not crazy A were you nervous to
Speaker 6: go on a blind date. No, I had been on
Speaker 6: a couple before, and he was supposedly a serial date
Speaker 6: or two. So I think we were okay, like we were,
Speaker 6: but he was like a Texas boy. I didn't know
Speaker 6: anything about him. He had never seen any show that
Speaker 6: I had been on, so that was kind of fun. Yeah,
Speaker 6: I had no clue, right, it sort of had a clue,
Speaker 6: but like his college buddies knew who I was, but
Speaker 6: he wasn't really like I didn't watch any of those shows.
Speaker 6: So and completely hit it off, Like first date five
Speaker 6: hours long, and here we are.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, whoever set you up must have been
Speaker 1: crackety celebrated. They must think.
Speaker 6: I mean, yes, I guess so she probably feels that way.
Speaker 6: We don't talk anymore. But there were some issues with
Speaker 6: that too, so don't worry.
Speaker 1: I have plenty of those. Yeah, A loud and clear
Speaker 1: aladin clear.
Speaker 6: I think she wasn't happening in her life.
Speaker 1: So yeah, that's usually how it goes. Yeah, yeah, absolutely so.
Speaker 3: But you've been together for twenty years or twenty and
Speaker 3: see he's not in the business.
Speaker 6: He is in the business. That's what I'm saying. It's crazy.
Speaker 6: So he's an actor. He's kind of made a shift
Speaker 6: and he's mostly now he's an artist as well, a painter,
Speaker 6: graphic graphic artist, and so now he's doing kids books
Speaker 6: and graphic novels.
Speaker 1: And does he do the the artwork for your illustration
Speaker 1: or any artwork.
Speaker 6: Now in your books? Actually he doesn't.
Speaker 1: I should make him do it, but yeah, it seems
Speaker 1: like that would be a nice co lib, you think.
Speaker 6: So we did one children's book together, but now he
Speaker 6: does them all on his own, because I mean, I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't draw. And do you like being married?
Speaker 6: I do like being married. I mean, you know, let's
Speaker 6: be honest. There's days where I'm like, I could do
Speaker 6: this by myself so much easier. But no, it's it's
Speaker 6: nice having someone to you help, right, to take to
Speaker 6: parent together, not to have to make all the decisions,
Speaker 6: even though I feel like I make a lot of them.
Speaker 6: But no, I'm being totally I'm kidding, but you're not
Speaker 6: times but I'm not.
Speaker 3: I mean, it's very I mean, it's a very typical
Speaker 3: female male dynamic.
Speaker 1: It is.
Speaker 6: I mean, I look at my parents and they're kind
Speaker 6: of the same way. His parents are still married. Who
Speaker 6: I'm very close to my in laws. We come from
Speaker 6: very similar stocks, so it was an easy relationship from
Speaker 6: the beginning.
Speaker 1: It really was. That's nice.
Speaker 6: It's not. I know, it's not always like that. I know.
Speaker 1: I mean, you have a pretty cush legs and everything
Speaker 1: is really cool.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean like, I'm pretty fortunate. He's not. You know,
Speaker 6: he's like a pretty normal guy. I like it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, pretty normal too. I feel like I'm pretty normal.
Speaker 3: You don't feel like you've got any major issues that
Speaker 3: are jumping.
Speaker 6: Out, at least not now. Maybe later.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna by the end of the episode, I'll do
Speaker 3: a full analysis, would you. No problem, We're going to
Speaker 3: take a quick break and we will be right back,
Speaker 3: and we're back.
Speaker 2: We're back.
Speaker 1: Sorry. I have never worn a hat while we're doing
Speaker 1: this podcast. I cannot want to take it off.
Speaker 6: Yeah, but it still works. You still see your eye.
Speaker 1: Bruce Springsteen hat that he signed for me, So.
Speaker 6: I I didn't even see that.
Speaker 3: My friends are like, you have to put that in
Speaker 3: a collector's whatever, a glass. I'm like, no, I don't.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna wear the shit out of this fucking hat.
Speaker 3: Are you kidding me? Bruce Springsteen?
Speaker 7: Oh?
Speaker 1: My god, that's awesome, Tiffany.
Speaker 4: You might not have any major issues, but hopefully you
Speaker 4: can help some folks that have major issues.
Speaker 6: Hey, I'm always up to discussing anything.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So confusingly, we have two Kylie's today.
Speaker 3: Oh so we both of them are Actually it's one
Speaker 3: set of lips and then the other set of lips
Speaker 3: back to back.
Speaker 4: Our first caller, Kylie is calling in from Las Vegas.
Speaker 4: She says, Dear Chelsea, one of my closest friends got
Speaker 4: married a few years ago, and I showed the fuck
Speaker 4: up in every way bride's maid's, bachelorette party, etc. When
Speaker 4: she had a baby a few years later, same thing. Basically,
Speaker 4: I've been there for every major life event for her,
Speaker 4: and of course I would be because I love her.
Speaker 4: So when I got engaged and was planning a wedding,
Speaker 4: obviously I invited her. Then she told me she was
Speaker 4: pregnant with her second child do a few months before
Speaker 4: my wedding. Our wedding was in Italy, which is a
Speaker 4: humongous ask, and I kept reassuring her if she couldn't come.
Speaker 2: It's totally okay.
Speaker 4: Weeks before the wedding and well after the RSVP date.
Speaker 4: She finally said she couldn't make it, which is completely valid.
Speaker 4: The weekend before my wedding, however, I'm in bed with
Speaker 4: my then fiance and he showed me his Instagram said
Speaker 4: friend was at another wedding in a different state. I
Speaker 4: then went to my Instagram and she had blocked me
Speaker 4: so I wouldn't see. She explained that she blocked me
Speaker 4: because she was quote protecting me and quote didn't want
Speaker 4: to hurt my feelings. I feel at a total loss here.
Speaker 4: My twenties are defined by this girl and the friendship
Speaker 4: we had, and never once have I had bad blood
Speaker 4: with her. But the fact that she can't even put
Speaker 4: pen to paper and write me a note or call
Speaker 4: me I found so incredibly disappointing. I feel sick over this,
Speaker 4: but I also don't know if I can forgive her.
Speaker 4: This was all so messy and so unnecessary, and it
Speaker 4: kills me that someone I thought was a real one
Speaker 4: could act this way again. This has zero to do
Speaker 4: with her not physically being at my nuptials, but has
Speaker 4: everything to do with showing me the same love I've
Speaker 4: given her over the years.
Speaker 1: What should I do?
Speaker 2: Kylie, Hi, Kylie, You're cute?
Speaker 1: All the callers are cute, are they? They are?
Speaker 6: They're so cute of the prereconisent.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you have to be cute to call it.
Speaker 6: She's super cute.
Speaker 7: Hello.
Speaker 1: This is Tiffany Theason, our special guest today.
Speaker 6: Hi, Kylie, Hi.
Speaker 7: I'm good. How are you guys?
Speaker 6: We're good great.
Speaker 1: I just heard your letter about your wedding. When is
Speaker 1: your wedding? Has it happened yet?
Speaker 5: No? Yes, it was in September. You know, we both
Speaker 5: lived in the same area in New York City. We
Speaker 5: were like thickest thieves for years.
Speaker 7: She got married.
Speaker 5: I was everywhere for her bachelor repp party, weddings, baby showers,
Speaker 5: the whole nine yards.
Speaker 6: And would you consider her your best friend? Was she
Speaker 6: your best friend?
Speaker 7: Oh? For years? For sure?
Speaker 5: Yeah, for years. And you know, I get you know,
Speaker 5: I moved to Las Vegas. I met my now husband
Speaker 5: when I came out here to party for a weekend,
Speaker 5: and now I live here.
Speaker 6: That's a whole nother story.
Speaker 5: Yeah, oh it's great. And I know, I know she
Speaker 5: moved to Atlanta, and I knew we were never going
Speaker 5: to be as close, But there's no reason for us
Speaker 5: to have a falling out. Yeah, we used to say
Speaker 5: that it was destiny that we met each other, and
Speaker 5: for her to act like this and just completely.
Speaker 6: I can tell you're really hurt.
Speaker 7: Yeah, Oh my god, I've been and I feel like
Speaker 7: a child.
Speaker 5: I'm thirty three years old, and I feel like I
Speaker 5: like keep waking up in the middle of the night
Speaker 5: and then rereading our text messages, and I'm like, I
Speaker 5: did tell her a hundred times if she couldn't make
Speaker 5: the wedding, it's fine, Like, it's totally cool. I do
Speaker 5: not I don't care. I mean, I know, you got
Speaker 5: another life, you got kids, you got babies.
Speaker 7: I get it. I'm not going to hold it.
Speaker 1: Aga.
Speaker 6: Do you think she felt guilty?
Speaker 5: Is that?
Speaker 6: Where do you think this comes from? Is that she
Speaker 6: felt guilty about telling you or being honest?
Speaker 7: I don't know.
Speaker 5: I really don't know. But what I'm struggling with now
Speaker 5: is moving forward. I just don't know how to move forward.
Speaker 3: What was the same Where did she go from what
Speaker 3: state to what state to the wedding or.
Speaker 6: The other wedding that she didn't tell you about.
Speaker 7: She said it was close by, so she lives in Atlanta.
Speaker 3: Because you said it was another state that she went
Speaker 3: to yes, right, because I was thinking like, oh, Italy
Speaker 3: obviously too far or whatever, but this wasn't out of
Speaker 3: state wedding, so I'm like, M not exactly the same.
Speaker 6: Thing, but it depends it could have been a dry
Speaker 6: I mean right, she could have driven.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah.
Speaker 6: I think it's just more. Probably what hurts you the
Speaker 6: most is the dishonesty, which that would bother me the
Speaker 6: most as well, because I don't believe in dishonesty. I
Speaker 6: don't care how hard it is to swallow or not,
Speaker 6: especially if you're that close. Exactly, Yeah, what.
Speaker 3: Was your last exchange with her? When you saw that
Speaker 3: she did go to this other wedding?
Speaker 7: So I messaged her. I was like, are you kidding me? Like,
Speaker 7: you completely block me on Instagram?
Speaker 5: My husband sees it and all my other friends who
Speaker 5: know her see it as well, and I go, why did?
Speaker 5: I don't understand why you had? Why I had to
Speaker 5: get this bad, this messy for no reason? And she
Speaker 5: kind of turned it around on me and was like,
Speaker 5: you know, this is who I am, and if you
Speaker 5: have a problem with that.
Speaker 6: That's who I am. That I'm not honest.
Speaker 5: Yeah, She's like, I don't know how many more times
Speaker 5: I can apologize, you know?
Speaker 6: I but did she apologize? She kind of apologized, but
Speaker 6: after the fact, because she wasn't honest.
Speaker 5: She apologized when she didn't RSVP ever months and months
Speaker 5: and months and like only texted me. She sent me
Speaker 5: like an ungrown plant that was supposed to grow into
Speaker 5: an olive tree. I'm like, whatever, and.
Speaker 3: Then you should put that in your bathtub and see
Speaker 3: what happens. I'm grown plant. So annoying when people sent
Speaker 3: shit like that.
Speaker 7: I'm like an ungrown plan. I'm like, what am I
Speaker 7: supposed to do with a twig?
Speaker 5: And you know whatever. So yeah, and I was just,
Speaker 5: you know, I was getting excited for wedding.
Speaker 7: I'm moving on. It's fine, it is what it is.
Speaker 5: And then you know, I'm packing and I see that
Speaker 5: this is happening. She blocked me. I was like, I
Speaker 5: was ready to kind of move on. I was ready
Speaker 5: to just like put this in the past, and then
Speaker 5: you block me. So when I called her out for that,
Speaker 5: she she kind of turned it around to me. She's like,
Speaker 5: this is my life, Like this is how I am.
Speaker 5: You know, if you have a problem, then like have
Speaker 5: a great wedding and blah blah blah.
Speaker 6: She got defensive. Yeah, that's usually what happens.
Speaker 1: Well, that's usually what happens when you know you're wrong.
Speaker 6: Yep, that's exactly.
Speaker 3: Right, because it's like, if the need to be right
Speaker 3: is so fierce you're wrong, like, you don't if you're
Speaker 3: really right, you don't put that kind of you don't know,
Speaker 3: defensive about anything.
Speaker 6: You also don't need to lie. That's the thing. I've
Speaker 6: always said that. And here's the thing I'm going to say.
Speaker 6: This is going to be a really simple thing because
Speaker 6: I've had a couple of relationships and I had one
Speaker 6: that was best friend, longtime relationship. We had an issue,
Speaker 6: had a falling out, and another friend of mine said,
Speaker 6: you know, not all relationships last. Sometimes relationships and friendships
Speaker 6: last for a period of time in your lifetime, for
Speaker 6: that period of time that you need them. You may
Speaker 6: not need her anymore.
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 5: But that, like I you know, when your phone, you know,
Speaker 5: you wake up in the morning and your phone will
Speaker 5: show you pictures that you have on your reel and
Speaker 5: it will remind you of memories. I have so many
Speaker 5: pictures of her that it will just make a video
Speaker 5: montage of her face I.
Speaker 6: Know, so did I. I mean I didn't have This
Speaker 6: was a while ago, so I didn't have that phone
Speaker 6: that could do that back then. But I'm just saying, like, yes,
Speaker 6: I have those memories, and they're great memories, but their memories, right,
Speaker 6: And so you take that part of your section of
Speaker 6: your life that you had with her and appreciate what
Speaker 6: she brought to your life during that time. Apparently she
Speaker 6: can't give that to you right now. Wish her well,
Speaker 6: thank her for what she gave you, and know that
Speaker 6: it'll open the door for somebody else, hopefully to come
Speaker 6: in and give you what you need at that moment
Speaker 6: in the next chunk in your life. I like that.
Speaker 1: And another analogy.
Speaker 3: Let's use a plant, because you have one and I'm
Speaker 3: sure it hasn't grown yet. Like, think about a plant
Speaker 3: being watered every day, right, and I think about the
Speaker 3: duration of a plant's life, Like, however long that a
Speaker 3: lifespan is for a plant?
Speaker 1: For six years?
Speaker 3: Say you got watered by one person and then after
Speaker 3: that someone else started watering you.
Speaker 1: You're still healthy because of it.
Speaker 3: You still have memories, you're still lively, you still have
Speaker 3: vibrancy because someone was watering you.
Speaker 1: It's just going to be a different person that's doing
Speaker 1: the watering from now on.
Speaker 3: I agree completely with what Tiffany said, like you can't
Speaker 3: hold on to anger. The biggest thing you could do
Speaker 3: is be like, okay, you know, if you want to
Speaker 3: write her one last thing, then that would be fine too,
Speaker 3: to be like, listen, I don't think that's what you need,
Speaker 3: you know, for a closure, Like it was really upsetting
Speaker 3: for you to respond like that blocking me on Instagram.
Speaker 3: It was childish. There's just really no other way around
Speaker 3: it than that. That was childish. I've never put pressure
Speaker 3: on you to come to my wedding. In fact, I
Speaker 3: gave you out many many times. So if you're mad
Speaker 3: at me, like you should really question about who you're
Speaker 3: upset with and why, because it shouldn't be me. I
Speaker 3: haven't done anything except called you out when you blocked
Speaker 3: me on instad when you went to another wedding.
Speaker 1: Of course, you're allowed to go to weddings.
Speaker 3: You know, but make it short and sweet and loving
Speaker 3: and be like, you know, it's really sad that this
Speaker 3: feels like our relationship's over, and you know, I just
Speaker 3: want to let you know thanks for all the good memories.
Speaker 3: They pop up on my phone all the time, and
Speaker 3: blah blah blah. I don't think you should try to.
Speaker 3: There's no reason in matching her level of anger, defensiveness
Speaker 3: or like not being forth right. You know, I think
Speaker 3: you can kind of like I think when someone demonstrates
Speaker 3: that behavior to you, it's an opportunity for you to
Speaker 3: demonstrate the opposite behavior because whether or not it heals
Speaker 3: now or she's open to hearing it now, it's just
Speaker 3: good to put that vibe out there in terms of
Speaker 3: your energy and the people that you're going to want
Speaker 3: to attract moving forward. That to keep your head high
Speaker 3: and be generous of spirit and be like, Okay, I
Speaker 3: got it. You know, I just want to let you know,
Speaker 3: like I'll think fondly of you.
Speaker 7: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I think just what struggled for me because I didn't
Speaker 5: move far away from all the people that I know
Speaker 5: and love my whole life, and I just feel like
Speaker 5: I've just had to like slowly trim the fat off
Speaker 5: because my time when I'm home is very precious and
Speaker 5: I really want to spend time with people that really
Speaker 5: bring me joy. And I just feel like through the
Speaker 5: years since I've moved here, I've now lived here for
Speaker 5: five years, like each year like someone kind of is
Speaker 5: trimmed off.
Speaker 1: Yep.
Speaker 6: And it's going to get trimmer and trimmer as you
Speaker 6: get older, I promise you. But that's kind of a
Speaker 6: good thing because honestly, your time is so precious and
Speaker 6: as you get older that it's okay, because having forty
Speaker 6: billion friends doesn't cut it. You're too fucking tired, first
Speaker 6: of all, as you get older.
Speaker 5: I agree, I agree with that I'm tired. But this
Speaker 5: one just felt like I had this I realizing it.
Speaker 5: This one, just this one just sucks.
Speaker 6: Yeah, No, it's okay.
Speaker 1: I've been through one of those too. Me too.
Speaker 3: It's a long, long term girlfriend, and for it was
Speaker 3: like our break. Our relationship was fractuaring for like three
Speaker 3: years before we made a break, three years. I was like,
Speaker 3: let me try and do this, let me try and
Speaker 3: do this, let me include her in this, let me
Speaker 3: do and it just every time I was reminded that
Speaker 3: we no longer had the friendship that we used to have.
Speaker 6: But we we have different paths. I mean, you have
Speaker 6: to remember, like we really as people were all so
Speaker 6: different and sometimes when we come together like you guys did,
Speaker 6: was an awesome time. You learn from each other, You
Speaker 6: supported each other whatever you guys needed, But that doesn't
Speaker 6: mean you're going to continue doing that. So it sounds
Speaker 6: like you're at a place right now where that relationship
Speaker 6: is kind of run its course, and that's okay.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I get it.
Speaker 5: It's just such a morning for me because the other
Speaker 5: ones that I have, like I saw the ones that
Speaker 5: were running their course.
Speaker 7: I was like, you know what, let's leave those.
Speaker 6: In the past.
Speaker 7: Yeah, it's just like it's waking me up at night.
Speaker 6: I had one that did the same thing I did.
Speaker 6: I did.
Speaker 3: You need to really just send good vibes her way
Speaker 3: as a way to like release your holding onto it,
Speaker 3: because you need to move into the idea of we
Speaker 3: need to move into acceptance rather than resistance, because you
Speaker 3: know right now you're resisting it.
Speaker 1: I can't believe you're still upset.
Speaker 3: You're going on to the hurt and it's okay to grieve,
Speaker 3: but you have to understand this is just not the
Speaker 3: time in your life that she's going to be in it,
Speaker 3: you know, and unless she comes to you and she
Speaker 3: just like does a whole one eighty or three sixty
Speaker 3: or whatever, the fucking degree circle train it is and
Speaker 3: comes and says I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. Then you would forgive her because you're
Speaker 1: being reasonable about all of this, but.
Speaker 6: Also don't expect it. No, please don't expect.
Speaker 5: Me, I know, and you know we're down the street
Speaker 5: through you know my other friends is that she's apparently
Speaker 5: written me a letter. But apparently that letter was written
Speaker 5: like during my wedding weekend, but that.
Speaker 7: Now it's November thirteenth, there's still no letter.
Speaker 6: You may never see it. And that's okay too, That's
Speaker 6: okay too, you know what I mean. Truly, I know
Speaker 6: it's hard because I can tell, like you, you've been
Speaker 6: through a lot of big moments with her, and I
Speaker 6: feel like you were waiting for her to do that
Speaker 6: for you. But that's part of friendships. You want to
Speaker 6: you want to be able to share kind of similar things, right,
Speaker 6: And that's exactly how what happened. My best friend had gone,
Speaker 6: you know, she was actually her second marriage, but then
Speaker 6: you know, had babies and all that, you know, and
Speaker 6: I was there for all of it, and I hadn't
Speaker 6: done any of that yet, you know what I mean.
Speaker 6: So by the time it came around for me, it
Speaker 6: just she wasn't the person that needed to be there
Speaker 6: for me for that and it was hard. But it's okay.
Speaker 1: Do you have some other friends that you hang out
Speaker 1: with now?
Speaker 7: Vegas?
Speaker 6: I love different.
Speaker 7: It is a really tough place to meet people.
Speaker 8: You know.
Speaker 7: I moved here five years ago.
Speaker 5: We were of long distance for almost two years, and
Speaker 5: my job at the time let me move out here.
Speaker 7: It was like it was just a great, you know situation.
Speaker 5: But yeah, I mean in New York, I would just
Speaker 5: walk out my door and just.
Speaker 6: Meet That's a very different place. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's Vegas.
Speaker 6: It's going to be it like, is that where you
Speaker 6: guys are going to stay you think? Or no?
Speaker 5: No, I mean I told him I wouldn't marry him
Speaker 5: unless we were getting out of here.
Speaker 1: That's a rough spot. I don't think that's helping.
Speaker 3: The backdrop of Vegas is not an uplifting, you know,
Speaker 3: spirited kind of place.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 6: So you do not seem like a Vegas girl either.
Speaker 6: And I don't know you well, but.
Speaker 5: You know, I've found my weird little places here. You know,
Speaker 5: there is some great things about this place, but you
Speaker 5: just really got.
Speaker 7: To find them.
Speaker 5: It's like such a dig. But I think that's also heightened.
Speaker 5: Why I feel so sensitive about this topic is because
Speaker 5: I don't really have like a friend outlet as much here.
Speaker 6: I think you're right, yes, And I think that's very
Speaker 6: smart to recognize that, because that's going to help you
Speaker 6: move on too.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, my poor husband, he's like, I don't want
Speaker 5: to hear about this anymore.
Speaker 1: Do you have a therapist?
Speaker 3: I do, Well, that's the outlet for it, you know
Speaker 3: what I mean, because at a certain point you don't
Speaker 3: want to keep belaboring it either, not to your husband.
Speaker 3: You're just putting out that energy when you're constantly talking
Speaker 3: about it when you're in the thing with like the therapist.
Speaker 3: And obviously this is a good place to talk about
Speaker 3: it because that's why you called in. But when you're
Speaker 3: in under the umbrella of therapy with another professional, then
Speaker 3: that's the place to really get into it. I know
Speaker 3: that was really helpful for me when I was dealing
Speaker 3: with this girlfriend that I was talking about, because he
Speaker 3: was like, this doesn't sound like your friend, and I'm like,
Speaker 3: I know, but she wasn't like this before. I'm like,
Speaker 3: she's never been like this, and he's like, well, you know,
Speaker 3: you're changing and that she probably doesn't like that, she's
Speaker 3: not on board with that, and that's exactly what was true,
Speaker 3: and it was a.
Speaker 1: Very very hard pill to swallow.
Speaker 3: But you have to understand, like everything does pass, you
Speaker 3: know what I mean, this too will pass, Like everything
Speaker 3: just needs a little bit of time, and then it
Speaker 3: doesn't feel as acute as you're feeling right now, and
Speaker 3: you should really just start, like just start a meditation
Speaker 3: practice where you are sending her. It's like called loving
Speaker 3: Kindness meditation, and you send her and then people, you know,
Speaker 3: you go down a whole list of people. We've talked
Speaker 3: about it on this podcast many times, but you can
Speaker 3: look it up Loving Kindness Meditation, and then there's a
Speaker 3: bunch of other ones. Just to get yourself like in
Speaker 3: a like a higher vibrancy so that that doesn't kind
Speaker 3: of take you down, like a gift to yourself, you know, like,
Speaker 3: this is what I want to attract. I want to
Speaker 3: attract people I want to hang out with. I want
Speaker 3: to attract whatever your hobbies or if you want to
Speaker 3: add hobbies or interesting books to read, Like anytime you
Speaker 3: can take yourself out of yourself, you're reminded that it's
Speaker 3: one person in this mass universe of billions of people,
Speaker 3: and she's not going to define how you think about
Speaker 3: yourself or feel about yourself.
Speaker 7: Yeah, you're right.
Speaker 5: I think Also it's interesting now in the world that
Speaker 5: we live in that you kind of are able to
Speaker 5: hold onto things a little longer because of social media.
Speaker 5: Like back in the day, you were just like, Okay,
Speaker 5: I'm done with this person, Like whatever, goodbye. I don't
Speaker 5: need to see your face. So I'm friends with all
Speaker 5: her friends. She's frends with all my friends.
Speaker 7: You know.
Speaker 5: It's like it's so intertwined the world and I'm not there,
Speaker 5: and it's just I just see it and I just
Speaker 5: don't That's what makes it harder to let go. And
Speaker 5: I've been taking serious social media breaks.
Speaker 7: Because of this. Yeah that's a good thing because like
Speaker 7: I can't see it.
Speaker 6: That's not a bad thing. That's not a bad thing.
Speaker 5: I don't hate her, but I'm just so disappointed, and
Speaker 5: I think I need to start taking this step up.
Speaker 7: It just it hurts.
Speaker 5: I just feel hurt, and I hate that it stems
Speaker 5: from a wedding like that makes me one of THEUS.
Speaker 1: I hear you, I hear you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but just start giving yourself medicine in different ways, meditation,
Speaker 3: things that are just going to like lift your spirit
Speaker 3: a little bit more because that's what it does, you know,
Speaker 3: meditating every single day, even for five minutes, it gives
Speaker 3: you a little boost. And then you're like, oh my god,
Speaker 3: why was I worried about that? And why was I
Speaker 3: worried about this? And yeah, I would stay off social
Speaker 3: media as much as you possibly can. You're not fucking
Speaker 3: missing anything.
Speaker 6: Oh you're not.
Speaker 4: Exactly, and you may find like as the sting sort
Speaker 4: of dissipates, you find yourself able to throw a heart
Speaker 4: on her posts or send her like good vibes and
Speaker 4: be like, oh, those are like her cute kids.
Speaker 2: In there, whatever Halloween costumes.
Speaker 4: I have a friend a situation just like this where
Speaker 4: it's like I still love her, but at the same time,
Speaker 4: like she's not the person I prioritize when I'm visiting
Speaker 4: home because she showed me that's not where she's at
Speaker 4: with me, you know what I mean.
Speaker 6: He a mind, So just you know, you don't have to,
Speaker 6: you know, you wish them well, I still wish that,
Speaker 6: but it's always.
Speaker 1: To just put good output out there. It's good.
Speaker 6: I actually I wrote my exit letter, but I wrote
Speaker 6: it knowing that I was not going to give it
Speaker 6: to her, and that helped me because I put it penned,
Speaker 6: you know, like thought thought to pen right, and I
Speaker 6: wrote it and maybe that's what she did to you,
Speaker 6: and she's not going to give it to you, but whatever,
Speaker 6: this is about you. So I did that and I
Speaker 6: folded it up and I just literally put it in
Speaker 6: my drawer and I never gave it to her, but
Speaker 6: it was helpful to just get all my thoughts out
Speaker 6: again not giving it to my at that time fiance
Speaker 6: now husband, because it was it was too much, it
Speaker 6: was getting I was just like I was so upset,
Speaker 6: I was hurt, I was pissed, and it helped me
Speaker 6: move on a little bit.
Speaker 4: And there is something about writing it down that like
Speaker 4: you get out of rumination mode because your brain is
Speaker 4: constantly trying to think of like the ideas and remember
Speaker 4: the things that you would say. But if you get
Speaker 4: it physically out of the body totally, yeah.
Speaker 7: Well that's why I originally did. I.
Speaker 5: I do that in my notes section and then I
Speaker 5: was like in my car, just marinating. I parked in
Speaker 5: my garage, just like sitting there and I was like,
Speaker 5: you know what, I'm gonna send this to dear and
Speaker 5: then I just edited it for you guys, and I
Speaker 5: was like yeah, and then I was it's out in
Speaker 5: the world.
Speaker 7: I'm going to send it and here we are.
Speaker 4: Okay, Kylie, Well, do a loving kindness meditation, and I
Speaker 4: think maybe, like in thirty days, will you check in
Speaker 4: with us and tell us.
Speaker 2: Where you're at with it?
Speaker 3: Yeah, because you have to take some steps actively between
Speaker 3: now and then to start filling yourself back up and
Speaker 3: getting rid of.
Speaker 1: The like kind of pain that you're holding onto.
Speaker 3: This is that good for you, So that's you're going
Speaker 3: to do it in the effort, like you're giving yourself medicine.
Speaker 7: Okay, you got it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And get back to us in thirty days and
Speaker 3: tell us how your mood is okay, Okay.
Speaker 7: I will just so much.
Speaker 3: And when you're feeling inclined to go on, you know,
Speaker 3: in moments of weakness to like look at the friends
Speaker 3: Instagram or do that stuff like scroll, I think you
Speaker 3: should really go try to read a book or treat
Speaker 3: to do something else so that you're just giving yourself
Speaker 3: a little bit more space away from.
Speaker 6: It, especially if you're looking at it feeling a little weak.
Speaker 6: Don't ever look at it when you're feeling like you're
Speaker 6: searching for that specific thing.
Speaker 4: Don't go on it, and don't comment snarky things. No
Speaker 4: snark no, no you want to do that?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: All right, Kylie, thank you for calling in.
Speaker 7: It was nice talking with you guys. Thank you for
Speaker 7: having me on.
Speaker 1: Bye Kylie, good back bye.
Speaker 3: I mean living in Vegas was the worst part about
Speaker 3: that story.
Speaker 6: I just can't or I think she so doesn't look
Speaker 6: like someone that you would like. I mean, from New
Speaker 6: York to Vegas, that's pretty rudle.
Speaker 3: I had a boyfriend that lived in Vegas, and I
Speaker 3: was like, what are you doing with this house?
Speaker 1: Get rid of it immediately? But didn't really live there,
Speaker 1: but he had.
Speaker 3: A house there, and I'm like, no, what, who knows?
Speaker 3: I'm like, Vegas is not for living, Yeah, because it's
Speaker 3: for visiting.
Speaker 4: Just to throw a loving kindness meditation in there for
Speaker 4: anybody who's listening. I found this one actually a couple
Speaker 4: weeks ago, and I made a note of it because
Speaker 4: knew it would come up again. May you be comfortable,
Speaker 4: May you be nourished, May you be appreciated. May you
Speaker 4: be loved and they can think that about like maybe
Speaker 4: someone you're who you're really close with, and then someone
Speaker 4: you're last close with, and then this person you're having
Speaker 4: an issue with.
Speaker 1: So yeah, yea, yeah, that's a good one.
Speaker 6: I use that, right, Is that nice? I like it? Yeah?
Speaker 3: I used it for like sixty days after I don't remember,
Speaker 3: after I broke up with someone.
Speaker 4: Yeah, are you ready for Kylie Number two?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 6: In Vegas where he's from.
Speaker 2: She's in Pacific Northwest.
Speaker 4: She's up north Okay, Kylie number two, says dear Chelsea.
Speaker 4: The holidays are quickly approaching, and I'm in a predicament.
Speaker 4: My mom passed away in January, and it was indeed
Speaker 4: one of the hardest moments we faced as a family.
Speaker 4: About five months after her passing, my dad let us
Speaker 4: know he was seeing someone. My parents had been married
Speaker 4: almost thirty years, so to hear of a partner so
Speaker 4: soon was gut wrenching men And then she did the
Speaker 4: Ayrol emoji. Since then, he's asked me and my sisters
Speaker 4: if we'd be willing to meet with her. Both of
Speaker 4: my sisters are against it and totally refuse, and I
Speaker 4: simply told them I'm not ready. He was understanding, but
Speaker 4: you could see it crushed him. He mentions her from
Speaker 4: time to time and even asked if he could take
Speaker 4: my three and one year old to see her again.
Speaker 4: My response is not yet. Now it's time for the holidays,
Speaker 4: and my grandma, my dad's mom, wants my dad and
Speaker 4: his girlfriend to host. My heart is broken to think
Speaker 4: that not only will I be grieving the first holidays
Speaker 4: without my mom, but I also won't be spending it
Speaker 4: with my family. I'm fortunate to have an amazing support
Speaker 4: system and my husband's family during this time, and maybe
Speaker 4: it will just be a pill I eventually have to swallow.
Speaker 4: But I'm just not ready yet, and I'm afraid I'll
Speaker 4: spend the holiday crying and make everyone feel uncomfortable.
Speaker 2: How do I handle this? Kylie?
Speaker 6: Hi?
Speaker 1: Hi, Kylie. This is Tiffany Thason, our special guest today.
Speaker 1: She's here.
Speaker 6: I'm so sorry about your loss.
Speaker 8: Thank you so much.
Speaker 1: When did your mom die January of this year.
Speaker 2: And you cared for her for a little while before
Speaker 2: she passed?
Speaker 6: Correct?
Speaker 8: Oh yeah, yeah, she came and looked with us.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah, So I think it's completely reasonable, And
Speaker 3: you said it in your letter, like it's too soon
Speaker 3: for you to have not yet is a very gracious
Speaker 3: way to say, I'm getting there, but I'm not there yet,
Speaker 3: you know, or I know I have to get here,
Speaker 3: but I'm not there yet. And it's totally reasonable for
Speaker 3: you to tell your father what it is like. I
Speaker 3: know this is a you know, disappointing to you, but
Speaker 3: I have to honor my feelings and I'm not ready.
Speaker 1: I'm not ready to meet your new girlfriend.
Speaker 3: I'm not done mourning my mother, and it's hard for
Speaker 3: me to even think of you with someone else. So
Speaker 3: I really need you to respect my wishes during this time.
Speaker 3: I love you. I understand that you don't want to
Speaker 3: be alone and that you found someone, but that's not
Speaker 3: part of what I'm ready to deal with yet.
Speaker 1: It's not like it's been five years. It's been not
Speaker 1: even a full year.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, so I think it's totally fine and you
Speaker 3: can put I would put that.
Speaker 1: In a letter.
Speaker 8: I love that idea. I'm not very good verbally talking
Speaker 8: about it with him, so a letter sounds like a
Speaker 8: really good idea.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And you can see your other sisters and make sure
Speaker 3: everyone has eyes on it, you know.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, and your sisters feel the same way.
Speaker 8: My sisters are more passionate about never meeting a person.
Speaker 6: Oh okay, are they younger? Are they younger than you?
Speaker 8: I'm the middle, I'm the middle.
Speaker 6: I was the middle. Yes, okay.
Speaker 4: Is there any particular reason that they don't want to
Speaker 4: meet her ever? Like, is it someone that you guys
Speaker 4: knew already or just.
Speaker 8: Your relationship wise, there are our whole lives sped rocky
Speaker 8: with our parents, but I think I chose to forgive
Speaker 8: and they're still and the healing.
Speaker 6: Okay, so there's some backstory then I feel like, so
Speaker 6: your parents' relationship was rocky, or your relationship with your
Speaker 6: parents was rocky.
Speaker 1: Both all of it.
Speaker 8: Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. So I think I feel like
Speaker 8: I want him to be happy, and us not meeting
Speaker 8: him is stopping that happiness, or meeting her, I should say,
Speaker 8: is is kind of stopping that happiness.
Speaker 1: But no, it's not stop stopping his happiness.
Speaker 3: He's he's probably happy when he's with her, but he's
Speaker 3: just not getting a full he's not getting everything he wants.
Speaker 6: That doesn't mean okay too, not everybody gets that, you know.
Speaker 3: Can you elaborate a little bit on the rockiness, Like
Speaker 3: what was the dynamic that made it rocky?
Speaker 1: Their relationship?
Speaker 8: Yeah, their relationship for sure. I mean they loved each
Speaker 8: other so much. But one two I don't want to
Speaker 8: like say, narcissists, but very self absorbed people create humans.
Speaker 8: It causes a lot of disruption.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, you might want to leave that part out
Speaker 3: of the letter, but I get it.
Speaker 1: I get it.
Speaker 3: I'm like, which is but what's better? One narcissist is
Speaker 3: a parent, or two I don't know.
Speaker 1: Each other. So it's like, shit, No, I think you
Speaker 1: can write it in your very sweet way that you are.
Speaker 3: You can tell that, I can tell the house what
Speaker 3: you are and and just be honest and that's it.
Speaker 1: You don't owe him anything.
Speaker 6: And I think it sounds like you have too already,
Speaker 6: like you've had a little bit of this conversation with him,
Speaker 6: right Yeah.
Speaker 8: Yeah, I kind of shut it down now because I'm
Speaker 8: very emotional when I speak, wellieven things, and I just
Speaker 8: didn't want that to come across.
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, And so a letter's perfect.
Speaker 3: So write a letter and just say it all and
Speaker 3: you don't have to see see your girl, your sisters
Speaker 3: or do whatever you.
Speaker 1: Think is right.
Speaker 6: Well, because this is about you. They can handle themselves,
Speaker 6: and this is really your relationship with your dad and
Speaker 6: what you feel right now, not about them.
Speaker 7: Now.
Speaker 4: Sure does the girlfriend have like adult kids or anything
Speaker 4: or family nearby?
Speaker 8: She unfortunately has lost both of her kids.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Oh they've died.
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's a lot of loss.
Speaker 8: Well, it's a lot of trauma, Bondie and I feel
Speaker 8: in that in that relationship.
Speaker 6: And you know that's very common. Actually, it's very common
Speaker 6: in a lot of relationships.
Speaker 1: So and are just so disappointing. It's like you should
Speaker 1: be alone for a year. I really Can's so pathetic.
Speaker 6: No, they can't.
Speaker 3: And I'm so glad you have somewhere else wonderful to
Speaker 3: go for the holidays with your husband or your boyfriend
Speaker 3: and his family.
Speaker 1: That's awesome, Like, thankfully you have something you.
Speaker 6: Have that you Yeah, you have kids, don't you. You
Speaker 6: said you had kids.
Speaker 8: Yes, yeah, So just trying to keep it special for them.
Speaker 6: I guess absolutely put all your energy into those I'm
Speaker 6: telling you, that's where that's where you put your energy, babe.
Speaker 4: One thing you could do sort of to honor her
Speaker 4: would be, you know, if there was a special tradition
Speaker 4: that she loved to do, or a special dish she
Speaker 4: loved to make. You could make that and bring it
Speaker 4: to your husband's holiday party. And I think if that
Speaker 4: doesn't feel right, another option is to just do something
Speaker 4: that feels completely unlike anything you've done before. For example,
Speaker 4: a friend of mine after her divorce, for Mother's Day,
Speaker 4: you know, instead of doing the thing at home with
Speaker 4: the gifts and the breakfast and all of that, she
Speaker 4: took her kids to six Flags and you know, they
Speaker 4: just ride roller coasters together and like, have a great
Speaker 4: time and eat your ros. So yeah, I think there
Speaker 4: are a couple of ways you can honor your mom
Speaker 4: and make sure you carve out a special moment from.
Speaker 6: Do you normally go to your parents' house?
Speaker 8: To my grandparents, but my grandma's really pushing my dad
Speaker 8: doing it with his new partner.
Speaker 3: So yeah, do your grandparents understand where you're coming from?
Speaker 8: No old school?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Yeah, Well, I just don't know how you could say
Speaker 3: anything like that and have anybody like keep going with
Speaker 3: an argument.
Speaker 1: I would be like, I got it, you got it.
Speaker 6: Yeah, You're coming from such an honest place you can
Speaker 6: you can hear it and see it in your face.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think if you're just honest with him,
Speaker 4: this hurts too much at this point. But I love
Speaker 4: you all the good things and give your kids and
Speaker 4: your husband an extra squeeze too.
Speaker 6: Well. Look at next year, maybe we'll see yeah yeah right,
Speaker 6: I mean there's always next to your dad maybe.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 7: Yeah.
Speaker 8: Well, thank you ladies, so much.
Speaker 1: Is so great, nice to meet.
Speaker 6: Lots of love, sweetheart, lots of love, Thank you.
Speaker 5: Bye.
Speaker 3: I remember when my mom passed away my father. I
Speaker 3: wrote this story one of my books. My brother Roy
Speaker 3: was at my dad's house. He walked in and his
Speaker 3: housekeeper was in the kitchen naked, cleaning with no pants
Speaker 3: or top on, and my father was on the couch
Speaker 3: watching in his box or shorts. This was a week
Speaker 3: after my mother's funeral, and Roy sent our whole brother
Speaker 3: and sister thread and texts being like, I have an
Speaker 3: update for everybody who's.
Speaker 1: Wondering what dad's been up to.
Speaker 6: This is it, And we were like, oh my god,
Speaker 6: men are funny.
Speaker 1: Something is wrong with everyone.
Speaker 6: Men are funny. I have a very good friend. You
Speaker 6: found out his dad has been spending their life savings
Speaker 6: going to those massage places every day. Oh my major
Speaker 6: bills when his wife was at home.
Speaker 1: How many massages can you get in.
Speaker 6: When I think he was doing like four a as.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, I didn't even know that was not.
Speaker 6: A spring chicken.
Speaker 2: That's your retirement.
Speaker 1: Fine, but well I think all the money like gone.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because at a certain age, men probably can't perform right,
Speaker 3: so they'd rather just watch a woman.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 3: Okay, we'll take a quick break and then we'll come
Speaker 3: back and wrap it up with Tiffany Theson.
Speaker 1: Ed We're back. We're back, Catherine.
Speaker 2: We are back. Well, our last caller today all callers
Speaker 2: today is Rob.
Speaker 4: He's finally not a Kylie and he is in New
Speaker 4: York City and he's got a bit of a career
Speaker 4: transition questions.
Speaker 2: I thought both of you would be great to help
Speaker 2: answer that.
Speaker 4: Dear Chelsea, first off, I have to tell you how
Speaker 4: much I love and appreciate the podcast. I listen to
Speaker 4: every single episode and feel like I learn a little
Speaker 4: bit more about myself with each story that's shared. Recently,
Speaker 4: I've been feeling super trapped in life and in my
Speaker 4: career choice.
Speaker 2: I'm a hairstylist and have just never been super passionate
Speaker 2: about it. I thought I would be.
Speaker 4: I thought it would be a super easy job and
Speaker 4: the money would just roll in, but it's fucking hard
Speaker 4: and people are exhausting. I have been brainstorming for years
Speaker 4: on what to do with my life, and I haven't
Speaker 4: really figured out what would make me happy. I even
Speaker 4: tried college three times and have no degree to show
Speaker 4: for it. As a child, I dreamed of being a writer,
Speaker 4: but never had the confidence to just go for it.
Speaker 4: I never thought that people would want to hear what
Speaker 4: I have to say, and I've felt for a long
Speaker 4: time that most of my clients come to me to
Speaker 4: hear stories about my hot mess of a dating life.
Speaker 4: I also feel like I have a pretty wild imagination,
Speaker 4: so why not write a book about my shenanigans. I
Speaker 4: find that sometimes I'm super confident in this becoming a
Speaker 4: great book that will give people a laugh, and then
Speaker 4: I go to a negative place and think my writing
Speaker 4: is shit and no one will care that I'm not
Speaker 4: smart enough to write any advice on how to get
Speaker 4: past this. I dream that one day I'll be done
Speaker 4: and I'll be a guest on your show and not
Speaker 4: just asking for advice, just trying to manifest.
Speaker 2: Here Rob and He's going to join.
Speaker 6: Hi, Rob, I'm good.
Speaker 4: How are you? Hi?
Speaker 6: God?
Speaker 9: Oh my god, it's hi.
Speaker 4: I have a thought a little bit about thinking of
Speaker 4: it as like I have to write a book or
Speaker 4: I have to like have a compendium of all my experiences.
Speaker 4: And I wonder if there is like a smaller piece
Speaker 4: that you can break this down into, whether it's like
Speaker 4: I'm going to write an essay about this funny thing
Speaker 4: that happened, or like I'm going to do a TikTok
Speaker 4: like I don't know, funny dating stories like that feels
Speaker 4: TikTok to me, and like doing something that feels a
Speaker 4: little more manageable and a little bit easier, and or
Speaker 4: a blog like soon enough you'll have several things that
Speaker 4: like maybe could become a book.
Speaker 6: Have you actually started writing it all? Because it sounded
Speaker 6: like you started.
Speaker 9: Oh okay, Yes, I've started writing. I had about like
Speaker 9: a good hundred pages going on. Wow, I've been on
Speaker 9: the go.
Speaker 6: Well that's good.
Speaker 9: I just get too much in my head sometimes and
Speaker 9: then I don't even know who could read this for
Speaker 9: me to give me a little bit more advice, or
Speaker 9: if I wanted to publish it someday, how would I
Speaker 9: even go about that.
Speaker 6: But why would you, in my opinion, why think of
Speaker 6: that right now?
Speaker 9: Exactly? I know I'm like thinking like ways.
Speaker 6: So far right, Like I think what she was kind
Speaker 6: of saying, Catherine is saying, like, maybe take it smaller,
Speaker 6: take it, take it a little bit smaller. Instead of
Speaker 6: looking at like who knows how far in the future,
Speaker 6: take it where you are right now and say let's
Speaker 6: finish this chapter or this many pages or whatever. You know.
Speaker 6: Sometimes buying off something you can chew a little bit
Speaker 6: easier than like a huge meal or a huge banquet
Speaker 6: is a lot easier.
Speaker 9: I try to give myself like I say, oh, I'm
Speaker 9: going to get up in the morning, and maybe I'll
Speaker 9: sit for like a half hour, for an hour, and
Speaker 9: then if I go past that rate, and if I don't,
Speaker 9: it's okay. We could put it down for a little
Speaker 9: bit and just step away.
Speaker 3: You should pick up this book called Daily Rituals. It's
Speaker 3: about all these artists and philosophers and like painters and
Speaker 3: writers basically like what their work ethic is and like
Speaker 3: what their hours of productivity are. And you'll see a
Speaker 3: very common theme, which is, like, you know, first thing
Speaker 3: in the morning, I know this is true for myself
Speaker 3: when I write, and I'm writing a book right now too,
Speaker 3: and it's completely overwhelming, and I know where it's going
Speaker 3: and I know when it's going to be published, and
Speaker 3: everything that has that you're talking about, you know, is
Speaker 3: still applic bol to anyone who even has a plan.
Speaker 3: So like, you do have to take it one day
Speaker 3: at a time. But what's cool about this book is
Speaker 3: it says like the early morning hours are your most
Speaker 3: you know, where you're the most clear of mind and
Speaker 3: you have the most hours of productivity. And then a
Speaker 3: lot of people take breaks in the afternoon and then
Speaker 3: let's do something physical, or many of them just start
Speaker 3: drinking and then then they come back to like an.
Speaker 1: Afternoon session and do that.
Speaker 3: But I know for me, like I write, I write
Speaker 3: an hour, two hours, sometimes three hours if I'm really
Speaker 3: really feeling it in the morning, and you know, you're
Speaker 3: you're coming back and you're editing and you're losing stuff
Speaker 3: and you're adding stuff all the time. That is the
Speaker 3: process of writing. So it's not important that what you
Speaker 3: write is perfect. It's like, Okay, sometimes I take fragments
Speaker 3: of a sentence and put it in a completely different
Speaker 3: chapter because I'm like, wait, this is, this is applies
Speaker 3: to that. And so it's constantly reorganizing, constantly editing, and
Speaker 3: you have to get into that rhythm where you're just
Speaker 3: doing it all the time, Like you have to give
Speaker 3: yourself one hour every morning. Let's make it one hour,
Speaker 3: a half hour, one hour every morning. And if you
Speaker 3: go beyond that, great, But then you're on, like you know,
Speaker 3: then you start to feel like you have a pattern
Speaker 3: and you have kind of almost a system in place,
Speaker 3: so because that will breed more and more creativity.
Speaker 1: And the more you write, the more you write, you know.
Speaker 3: What I mean, The more you sit down and say
Speaker 3: I have to write, the more you're just going to
Speaker 3: start writing it. Some of it may be crap, and
Speaker 3: some of it you may throughout the window, but there's
Speaker 3: gonna be slivers of greatness in there, like we all
Speaker 3: have important things to say, and you don't have to
Speaker 3: worry about anyone seeing it until you're out a place
Speaker 3: where you think this is ready to show another person.
Speaker 3: And it's usually not when you think it is.
Speaker 1: I know from experience.
Speaker 3: I send in chapters way too early then, and I'm like, wait,
Speaker 3: I'm not even done with those.
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to show them I'm doing something. So
Speaker 1: the longer you can have without anyone looking at it,
Speaker 1: the better off it's going to be. Anyway.
Speaker 9: Yeah, I figured I shouldn't always be looking for other
Speaker 9: people's feedback to validate myself.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so take the pressure off, and also just write
Speaker 3: a list of the way you want to be every day,
Speaker 3: like you right, say, every day, I right from you know,
Speaker 3: nine to ten or whatever your hour is after that.
Speaker 3: You know, you don't have to make a whole list
Speaker 3: of things. But like, however, you're going to fit your
Speaker 3: writing in throughout the day. You know, I'm always writing
Speaker 3: notes in my note section and then I go through
Speaker 3: that and I implement them into the chapters and stuff.
Speaker 3: But don't start worrying about shit that doesn't apply to
Speaker 3: your situation. It's just a waste of your energy and
Speaker 3: a waste of your.
Speaker 6: Time, and that energy you can put into your writing.
Speaker 3: And every time you yeah, every time you do start
Speaker 3: worrying about it, go back to writing. Anytime you're like,
Speaker 3: who am I going to show this to you? How
Speaker 3: am I going to get this sold? Just go back
Speaker 3: to writing. Go and be like, oh, I have to
Speaker 3: go right now for forty minutes for letting those thoughts you.
Speaker 1: Know, control me.
Speaker 3: Punishment, you know, like it's a good way to just
Speaker 3: like get back in the game. And the more productive
Speaker 3: you are, the better and more confident you're going to
Speaker 3: feel about it as time goes on. So just consistency
Speaker 3: is key with anything like this.
Speaker 9: Yeah, yeah, I just have to be more disciplined without
Speaker 9: beating myself.
Speaker 6: Up with that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, then then use this call as your wake up
Speaker 3: call to become more disciplined.
Speaker 9: Yeah, I won't.
Speaker 1: I write a.
Speaker 3: Big like put a piece of paper next to your desk,
Speaker 3: next to your computer that says Chelsea and Tiffany say
Speaker 3: these and then the following things.
Speaker 1: Every morning I write for one hour.
Speaker 3: Yeah, put your phone down, put the alarm on so
Speaker 3: you know when an hour's up, and you are not
Speaker 3: allowed to look at your phone.
Speaker 6: Absolutely. Yeah, it's the worst.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 9: I would like to leave my phone in my bedroom
Speaker 9: or something. I'll like throw it to the side.
Speaker 7: That's yeah.
Speaker 9: And I live alone, so it's a lot easier to
Speaker 9: have quiet time.
Speaker 3: Yeah, for suah, And then give you yourself a reward.
Speaker 3: You can go masturbate or go take a walk whatever.
Speaker 3: I always masturbate after I write.
Speaker 9: That's not a bad idea. Actually, I recently felt like
Speaker 9: I was abusing smoking a little too much, so I've
Speaker 9: given it up. It's probably been about three weeks now,
Speaker 9: and I definitely feel like I'm thinking clearer.
Speaker 3: Yeah for sure, good for you. Yeah, don't fucking smoke.
Speaker 3: I am terrible everyone. A couple of months, I'm like,
Speaker 3: I could have a cigarette, and then I'm like, no,
Speaker 3: I can't.
Speaker 1: Why can I have a sing cigarette? Oh?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 3: Smoking weed? Oh yeah, no, that'll fuck your mind up too. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: I can't. I can't write when i'm smoking weed. Only
Speaker 3: when i'm polishing. Then I can go when something's almost done.
Speaker 3: Then I go back and I'm.
Speaker 6: Use it as a polisher.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I use it as like to, you know, put
Speaker 1: in some more humor.
Speaker 6: You And then when it does get published, I would
Speaker 6: like to have a little bit of a you know,
Speaker 6: little blurb, ledge, just a little just a sign, tiny
Speaker 6: little one okay or.
Speaker 1: Yeah, or our names can be in the title. You decide.
Speaker 2: Awesome things wrong, good luck?
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 3: So anybody you can pick up Tiffany's new cookbook, She
Speaker 3: Don't Forget. She's the host of MTV's deliciousness, and you
Speaker 3: could pick up her newest cookbook which is called Here
Speaker 3: We Go Again, Recipes and Inspiration to level up your leftovers,
Speaker 3: and her previous cookbook is called Pull Up a Chair,
Speaker 3: so you can get both both holiday gifts.
Speaker 1: Yea, thank you, Tiffany, thank you. Oh yeah, thank you.
Speaker 2: Chelsea. Do you have some new dates for us?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 1: You know, I do?
Speaker 3: You know?
Speaker 4: I do?
Speaker 1: I have a lot of We added lots of.
Speaker 3: Canadian cities, Canadians, I'm coming.
Speaker 1: We added about fifteen new tour dates.
Speaker 3: I'm coming to Denver again, Salt Lake City, Vancouver, Richmond, Virginia,
Speaker 3: Santa Rosa, California, Gary and Diana, Baltimore, Rowna, New York
Speaker 3: and about seven dates in Canada. So go to Chelseahandler
Speaker 3: dot com. I am performing everywhere. I will be on
Speaker 3: tour all for the rest of the year through December,
Speaker 3: and then next year I'm going to be touring all year.
Speaker 1: So come and get it, you guys.
Speaker 3: It's good times and it's a very much needed reprieve
Speaker 3: from all the fucking madness that's going on in this world.
Speaker 1: So I'm here to bring joy and sunshine.
Speaker 4: If you'd like advice from Chelsea. Shoot us an email
Speaker 4: at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be
Speaker 4: sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited
Speaker 4: and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law and
Speaker 4: be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot
Speaker 4: com