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Speaker 1: Hi Catherine, Hi Chelsea.

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Speaker 2: How are you.

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Speaker 1: I'm good. I'm good. I'm here, I'm queer. Get used

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Speaker 1: to it.

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Speaker 2: You are heading to Whistler very shortly.

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Speaker 1: I am.

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Speaker 3: I'm about to go on a road trip with the dogs,

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Speaker 3: and I'm scared a little bit, but I'm also looking

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Speaker 3: forward to it. I'm gonna listen to a book on tape.

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Speaker 3: I just have to figure out which book.

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Speaker 1: Do you have any suggestions?

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Speaker 4: You know what I do. So I just watched the

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Speaker 4: movie of this. Leave the World Behind is a new

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Speaker 4: movie that came out on Netflix. It's got like Julia

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Speaker 4: Roberts and stuff, and it's about not post apocalyptic, but

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Speaker 4: like the apocalypse basically starting. There's some like race elements

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Speaker 4: in it. It's very interesting called Leave the World Behind.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I've heard about this. Somebody else mentioned that.

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Speaker 4: Yes, I read the book a couple of years ago

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Speaker 4: and I loved it. It's really good and I loved

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Speaker 4: the movie too. So yeah, that's what I would recommend,

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Speaker 4: Leave the World Behind, Leave the World Behind. Okay, Chelsea,

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Speaker 4: you've got some new dates in you know, Australia.

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Speaker 3: Yes, yes, we just announced dates and Australia and New

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Speaker 3: Zealand so I'm coming in July to Australia, so yes,

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Speaker 3: get your dates there, Chelseahandler dot com. And I still

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Speaker 3: have all my Canadian dates this winter. I had more

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Speaker 3: dates coming in the fall for America, North America Chelsea

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Speaker 3: Handler America, which is the lower forty eight, even though

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Speaker 3: I'm half Canadian.

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Speaker 4: At this point, I mean, your tour goes right on

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Speaker 4: through the rest of next year, right.

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Speaker 1: Yes, there's no end in sight as of now, so

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 4: Honestly, I feel like it's a really good holiday gift

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Speaker 4: because they can get themselves a ticket and their best

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Speaker 4: friend a ticket or spouse or whatever, but then they

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Speaker 4: also get.

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Speaker 2: To go see you.

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Speaker 3: It is a good holiday ticket. And this show is

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Speaker 3: so fun. Yeah, I mean it's always fun, but this

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Speaker 3: is one is really stupid.

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Speaker 5: You know.

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Speaker 3: This one is so stupid because it's so not political,

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Speaker 3: because we're so all exhausted from politics and all that,

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Speaker 3: so this one is really There's nothing quite like getting

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Speaker 3: to masturbate on stage.

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Speaker 2: In front of thousands of people to show.

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Speaker 1: People what I was up to when I was nine

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Speaker 1: years old.

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Speaker 2: Excellent, Should we welcome our guest?

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Speaker 5: Oh?

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Speaker 3: Yes, today we have one of my childhood idols Tiffany

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Speaker 3: Amber Theeson, even though we were with the same age.

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Speaker 3: Probably I was obsessed with her growing up because I

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Speaker 3: was always wanted to be a brunette, even though I

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Speaker 3: was dyeing my hair. Yes, she's on today, So I

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Speaker 3: ran into her the other night and I was like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 3: you should come on the podcast. She came to one

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Speaker 3: of my shows, so let's yes, let's say hello, Okay,

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Speaker 3: I'm here with Tiffany Theson And didn't it used to

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Speaker 3: first of all, Tiffany Hello, Hello, Hi, Hi, welcome, Welcome

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Speaker 3: to the show.

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Speaker 1: What happened to Amber? Where is she?

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Speaker 6: So it's still there legally, Like on my driver's license

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Speaker 6: it says Tiffany Amber Smith now because I did take

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Speaker 6: my husband's name, but it's just my middle name. It

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Speaker 6: was hyphenated when I started this crazy business because they

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Speaker 6: thought it was cool. I guess it was kind of

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Speaker 6: It was popular back then to have a hyphenated name.

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Speaker 3: They call that in you know, in the UK, they

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Speaker 3: call that like a double barrel name when you have

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Speaker 3: like well, I mean it's two last names, but they

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Speaker 3: used it's like a last name for your middle name,

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Speaker 3: so it sounds a little bit more.

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Speaker 6: They fascinated, but it wasn't legally hyphenated. It was never

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Speaker 6: legally hyphened same hyphen I don't know if they don't

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Speaker 6: know if they did, but I'm just on my like

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Speaker 6: resume and on my all my headshots, they hyphenated it

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Speaker 6: to make it Tiffany Amber, which was weird.

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, some agent told me to do it, and then

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Speaker 6: I was like.

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Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, you know what a guy told me he

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Speaker 1: wants to do.

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Speaker 3: He told me to put a bird on my fucking

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Speaker 3: shoulder to do stand up because he thought I wouldn't.

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Speaker 3: This is what Jamie Massada from We Do And from

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Speaker 3: the laugh Actory once told me, put a bird on

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Speaker 3: your shoulder so you can separate yourself from the other girls.

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Speaker 3: He goes, because you're too pretty. I was like, and

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Speaker 3: he goes, a bird distracting that people wouldn't be able

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Speaker 3: to pay attention to what I'm saying.

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Speaker 6: So he said a bird would help.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and I was like, well, obviously I'm never going

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Speaker 3: to fucking do that. And I still tell him the

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Speaker 3: story anytime I pop into the laugh Actory, which is

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Speaker 3: very seldom.

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Speaker 6: Is he still working there?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, he still owns it runs.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, what was it like for you when you started

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Speaker 3: out in this business, because that was before anybody had

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Speaker 3: any rules about how to treat women.

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Speaker 6: That's true, That is very true. I have to say

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Speaker 6: I think I was pretty lucky. I had moments, one

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Speaker 6: specific one I do remember when I was shooting nine

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Speaker 6: to two and O and which is nice. We act

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Speaker 6: can talk about this shit now. Yeah, yeah, for sure,

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Speaker 6: I know it was not crazy. But yeah, no, I

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Speaker 6: was actually pretty lucky to not have a lot of

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Speaker 6: horrible stories. I've had a couple, but not for as

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Speaker 6: long as I've been doing this business. You would think

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Speaker 6: I would have a ship ton of them, but I don't.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, it's funny. Yeah you hear how prevalent

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Speaker 3: and and you know I had.

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Speaker 6: Totally grab me in the middle of a scene and

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Speaker 6: he thought it was okay because he was in character,

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Speaker 6: and I was like, fuck you, this has nothing to

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Speaker 6: do with being in character.

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Speaker 3: Grabbed you in the peaka complete completely oh stopped production.

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Speaker 6: I was pissed. I was mad. I was really mad,

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Speaker 6: and I embarrassed the shit out of him in front

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Speaker 6: of my home because it was my show. I was

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Speaker 6: on nine O two one it was my show. He

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Speaker 6: was a guest star, like a reoccurring older gentleman. Piece

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Speaker 6: of shit, total piece of shit. And uh I stopped

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Speaker 6: production and everything we were shooting in Mexico too.

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Speaker 1: Oh good for you.

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Speaker 6: I'm sure someone will figure out who it was. I

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Speaker 6: gave him a lot of clues.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, how was it working with the girls on nine

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Speaker 3: oh two? And that was probably because my experience, my experience,

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Speaker 3: I was I had more trouble women in powerful positions,

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Speaker 3: and because you guys were all I think women.

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Speaker 6: I have a teenage daughter. I think women are ten

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Speaker 6: times harder. I know, they're total little you know what.

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Speaker 6: I know that's I mean, I think because they're just

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Speaker 6: so emotional and they get insecure and of course, you know,

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Speaker 6: like my husband always says, guys would just beat it out,

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Speaker 6: they'd hit each other and you'd move on. Like girls

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Speaker 6: are like manipulative. It's all mental, you know. So I

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Speaker 6: think it's sort of the same. Yeah, they were cruel,

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Speaker 6: they were horrible. Yeah, I've been very open about it.

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Speaker 6: I talked about it on Howards certain that, like, I'm

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Speaker 6: very open about it. They all know it was terrible.

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Speaker 6: They made me feel like shit.

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Speaker 1: Well because you were a newcomer.

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Speaker 6: I was a newcomer. I was coming on replacing Shannon

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Speaker 6: Dorney on the show.

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Speaker 3: Oh right, right, so that must have been it. Well,

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Speaker 3: they and they didn't get along before that, so.

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Speaker 6: They were having I guess issues with her in the beginning,

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Speaker 6: and then I was coming on, but I was coming

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Speaker 6: from another popular show. Who knows what the reason was,

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Speaker 6: but yeah, it was. It was bad at the beginning,

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Speaker 6: and then you know, I think they finally realized I

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Speaker 6: was kind of a nice girl. It wasn't like mean

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Speaker 6: or anything. So and then they came around.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so I saw you recently. You were at my show. Yeah, outrageous,

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Speaker 3: l A, thank you. It was such a nice surprise

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Speaker 3: to see you.

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Speaker 6: It was fun, it was awesome.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: So tell me about your life now, Tell me about

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Speaker 3: your marriage, Tell me about being a mother.

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Speaker 1: I want to know how, I really want to know.

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Speaker 5: I do.

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Speaker 3: I'm curious because I'm never going to do it, so

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Speaker 3: I'm always fascinated by it.

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Speaker 6: I have quite a few friends who are very adamant

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Speaker 6: and very sure that they do not want to have kids,

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Speaker 6: and I appreciate that because I appreciate people who know

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Speaker 6: what they want for whatever reason, career, life choice, marriage,

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Speaker 6: not marriage, kids or whatever. I appreciate people who know

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Speaker 6: what they want. And I also appreciate we have a

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Speaker 6: lot of people on this planet, like for people who

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Speaker 6: not who don't want to procreate. Good for you, Thank.

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Speaker 2: You, I know, thank you. Yeah, I appreciate welcome. That's true.

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Speaker 6: Though I wanted to have a couple, I had one

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Speaker 6: of each. I was lucky and that I'm done.

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Speaker 3: You know, I'm done, and it's at And what is

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Speaker 3: the best part about it?

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Speaker 1: I think.

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Speaker 6: I think a little bit of the like when they

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Speaker 6: do something good, you're like, oh, that's me, you know,

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Speaker 6: like a little braggy. It's a little braggy, a little

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Speaker 6: braggy at times, you know, in a good way. I

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Speaker 6: guess the unconditional love is quite nice. You know, you

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Speaker 6: don't have to work at it as hard like marriage

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Speaker 6: is hard. I feel like the unconditional part of having

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Speaker 6: a child is a little easier because it's a piece

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Speaker 6: of you. Maybe I don't know, I don't know why.

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Speaker 1: You're not trying to cultivate a front a relationship with them.

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Speaker 6: It's a natural shape. Yeah, it's a natural thing. As

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Speaker 6: much as you know, there's moments where I want to

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Speaker 6: kill them.

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Speaker 3: Because I was reading this book and it really got

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Speaker 3: me thinking about you know how when you're a child,

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Speaker 3: you're so consumed as a being with being a child, right,

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Speaker 3: you're not considering your parents' existence. Even you're not considering

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Speaker 3: your dad's or your mom's job or the stress that

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Speaker 3: they may be, and certainly not their history. You're not

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Speaker 3: thinking like, I wonder what mom, my mom? What where

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Speaker 3: your child was like I didn't, I didn't wonder. I

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Speaker 3: was like, ah, it wasn't.

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Speaker 6: It wasn't until later.

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Speaker 3: It's so funny because you know, you're a child and

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Speaker 3: you think you're the most important thing in the universe,

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Speaker 3: and your parents are the most important things in the

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Speaker 3: universe as well, but you're not as interested in their

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Speaker 3: like complexity or nuance.

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Speaker 1: And then or story.

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Speaker 3: And then you become a parent and the roles completely

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Speaker 3: flipped because all you care about is your child, but

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Speaker 3: it's not all you care about because.

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Speaker 6: But then you also have the other flip sides. So

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Speaker 6: now I have aging parents too, right, So I have

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Speaker 6: taking care of my children because I started a little later,

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Speaker 6: and then I have the taking care of my parents.

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Speaker 6: So it's it's this really interesting sort of dual other side, ye,

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Speaker 6: taking care of people that you really care about, right.

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Speaker 2: The Sandwich generation, that's.

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Speaker 6: The same, right, Yeah, And that's kind of where I

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Speaker 6: am right now. It's like both sides.

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Speaker 1: And are your parents still together?

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Speaker 6: They are, They're still together, still married. My dad's a

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Speaker 6: lot older than my mom by seven years, so we

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Speaker 6: see the age difference now as they're getting older and

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Speaker 6: my mom's still doing awesome and my dad's you know,

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Speaker 6: definitely aging a little faster, right.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, So speak to me about that aspect of things, like,

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Speaker 3: because I find it curious and compelling, Like, I'm very

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Speaker 3: interested in how do you shift from what your your

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Speaker 3: own needs are to what your child's needs are? Like

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Speaker 3: when do you know that you like that has to

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Speaker 3: be a priority, you know, regardless of being like sick

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Speaker 3: or an emergency situation.

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Speaker 1: How do you know how to balance what you want

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Speaker 1: to do with your I.

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Speaker 6: Think it's an everyday thing. It's there. There is no

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Speaker 6: rhyme or reason. I do believe now that my children

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Speaker 6: are a little bit older, I feel like it can

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Speaker 6: have a little more selfish moments, you know, And I've

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Speaker 6: talked about this pretty openly I'm going to be fifty,

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Speaker 6: and I'm like, you know, I feel pretty good where

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Speaker 6: I've been able to kind of almost breathe a little

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Speaker 6: bit more with my kids now that they're older, because

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Speaker 6: they're not babies, they're not infants where that is like

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Speaker 6: twenty four fucking seven.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean nothing. They can even sit up when

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Speaker 1: they're born.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, so, like I feel

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Speaker 6: a little bit better. But now it's a it's a

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Speaker 6: different difficult right, It's it's there. I have a teenager now,

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Speaker 6: so I'm dealing with making sure like boys stay away

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Speaker 6: from her, and she understands, like, you could ruin your

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Speaker 6: life if you know, if you do anything like that,

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Speaker 6: you know, right now at thirteen, and like trying to

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Speaker 6: get her to understand how bad social media is and

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Speaker 6: not have that right now.

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Speaker 1: Does she not have?

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Speaker 6: No, she does not have it.

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Speaker 1: Oh is she pissed about that?

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Speaker 5: Oh?

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Speaker 6: Yeah, of course she's. Yeah, she's she's she's asked for

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Speaker 6: so long the last like year and a half that

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Speaker 6: I think she's tired of asking. So she's gotten a

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Speaker 6: little bit better about it. And she'll just kind of

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Speaker 6: come over and check my nod every now and then.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, I mean it's I feel like this might

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Speaker 3: be the moment in time where we all just I know,

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Speaker 3: I'm not on social media nearly as much as I

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Speaker 3: was before this whole thing has started in the Middle East.

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Speaker 3: I can't even look because it's so ugly, it's so

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Speaker 3: nasty that I had to set a timer. I had

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Speaker 3: my girlfriend because I'm technologically not equipped. I had my

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Speaker 3: girlfriend set a timer, a time limit on right for

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Speaker 3: you and so. But but it gives you the option

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Speaker 3: do you want your forty five minutes are up? Do

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Speaker 3: you want to stay on or you would you like.

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Speaker 1: To ignore this for an hour? Or do you want

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Speaker 1: to ignore this for the day.

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Speaker 3: And I'm like, uh, but I had that timer hasn't

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Speaker 3: come up once in the last six the whole thing.

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Speaker 6: I know that, So back in the day, we weren't

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Speaker 6: meant to see all that kind of stuff. As much

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Speaker 6: as I know we're we should and we should be

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Speaker 6: aware of what's happening in our in our world. But

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Speaker 6: it's a lot for the psyche, a lot.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I can really bring it.

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Speaker 6: And I think for a thirteen year old girl, I

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Speaker 6: was like, oh, no, way, no, that happened.

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Speaker 1: Like they're not dealing with enough.

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Speaker 6: But I mean I remember they were already dealing with

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Speaker 6: shit at school.

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Speaker 3: I remember getting left out of stuff in like elementary school.

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Speaker 3: Like my girlfriends would all get together, and the reason

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Speaker 3: I found out was because like one of the mean

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Speaker 3: girls would say, we're all getting together without you, and

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Speaker 3: I would just like destroy me.

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Speaker 1: Can you imagine you find evidence? It's just all in.

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Speaker 6: Fact, instant, Yeah, that instant, And then they all talk

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Speaker 6: about it, and then they share photos and this whole

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Speaker 6: snapchat thing and.

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Speaker 3: Like, oh, and does your daughter have a pretty healthy attitude?

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Speaker 1: Like how would you describe her state of being with

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Speaker 1: sch She's.

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Speaker 6: Pretty good, but she's also thirteen. She's in middle school,

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Speaker 6: and middle school sucks. I mean, I don't know anybody

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Speaker 6: who said middle school was the best years of their life.

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Speaker 6: Wasn't mine?

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Speaker 1: No, I mean certainly not high school. High school was brutal.

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Speaker 1: Middle school was more brutal too.

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Speaker 6: I think middle school was more brutal for me.

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Speaker 3: High school I just checked out. I had an older boyfriend,

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Speaker 3: and I was like, fuck this sho.

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Speaker 6: I had an older boyfriend too. I was like, I

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Speaker 6: don't need you.

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Speaker 3: I mean, it was it was illegal for sure or

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Speaker 3: what I was doing, but I mean.

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Speaker 6: Whatever, we don't talk about that, Chelsea, because I have

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Speaker 6: a thirteen year old daughter and you know nothing about.

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Speaker 3: That, that's right, And I don't know what the statute

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Speaker 3: of limitations is on that, So we'll just keep everybody

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Speaker 3: protected here. And you're into food, and you're into like

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Speaker 3: I know you're into cooking.

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Speaker 6: You love your cook I love food.

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Speaker 3: He has a new cookbook at what's the name of it,

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Speaker 3: Here we Go Again? Okay, it's called here we Go Again.

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Speaker 3: I need a fucking cookbook because I have a brand

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Speaker 3: new house with this gorgeous kitchen and I don't know

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Speaker 3: whether I don't know what to do.

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Speaker 6: I'll come over and I'll help you.

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Speaker 1: I would love that.

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Speaker 6: I'm also really good organizing too, so I can help

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Speaker 6: you put your kitchen away.

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Speaker 3: And also you're like very into clean food, right, and

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Speaker 3: like you recite like.

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Speaker 6: Not wasting, yes, wasting, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I

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Speaker 6: was gonna say clean food. No, I'll have a good

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Speaker 6: Mayo sandwich with some meat and bacon and all that. Yeah. No, no, no,

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Speaker 6: I'm not going with cultural I understand it, and I

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Speaker 6: try to eat as clean as possible during the weekend.

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Speaker 6: Then I have a little fun on the weekends. But no,

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Speaker 6: I love food. I love all types of food. But no,

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Speaker 6: I I the book that I This is my second cookbook.

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Speaker 6: My first one was called Pull Up a Chair, and

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Speaker 6: this one's called Here we Go Again. And I really

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Speaker 6: wanted to do a book this time around about food

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Speaker 6: waste because I believe it truly is one of the

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Speaker 6: biggest contributores to climate change. Now. Granted, you know, corporations

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Speaker 6: are really the biggest issue right we have right now,

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Speaker 6: but it really can start at least a little bit

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Speaker 6: at home. And so I've been trying to teach my

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Speaker 6: kids about, you know, you know, recycling food in a

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Speaker 6: way where I'm like, don't throw that out, We'll make

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Speaker 6: them into like, you know, enchiladas tomorrow or whatever. Like

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Speaker 6: that kind of thing started, And then it got me

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Speaker 6: thinking I was raised that way. I was raised in

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Speaker 6: a house where, you know, my dad worked two jobs

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Speaker 6: to allow my mom to stay home and raise kids,

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Speaker 6: and and we didn't have a ton of money. So

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Speaker 6: my mom was kind of doing this as I grew up,

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Speaker 6: and I was like, my mom's really like the queen

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Speaker 6: of leftovers. Really, like that was how I learned how

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Speaker 6: to like upcycle food so I was like, I've never

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Speaker 6: seen a cobook like that. So that's what I That's

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Speaker 6: what I did during COVID. I was like, Oh, this

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Speaker 6: sounds like a good idea.

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Speaker 1: Let's try I like upcycle food cycle. I like that.

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Speaker 1: That's good. Yeah.

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Speaker 6: So anyways, and it's really trying to, like, you know,

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Speaker 6: teach my kids to be better, because the kids are

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Speaker 6: the worst. I feel like the kids are the worst

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Speaker 6: about wasting.

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Speaker 5: I know.

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Speaker 3: It's like they need to have a class in school

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Speaker 3: about climate change, like totally dedicated to that.

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Speaker 6: I feel like they're starting to hitting a little more. I

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Speaker 6: think they're also like high in anxiety, like really like

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Speaker 6: having some anxiety issues understanding like the issues that we're

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Speaker 6: having in our world about climate change and all that.

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Speaker 6: But I do believe I think they are teaching at

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Speaker 6: least my kids school. They're starting to teach it. So

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Speaker 6: I don't know, we'll see, let's hope.

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Speaker 1: So tell me about your husband. How did you guys

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Speaker 1: hook up?

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Speaker 6: We are together twenty years married eighteen, which in Hollywood

390
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Speaker 6: is a fucking lifetime. We were set up on a

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Speaker 6: blain date really not crazy A were you nervous to

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Speaker 6: go on a blind date. No, I had been on

393
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Speaker 6: a couple before, and he was supposedly a serial date

394
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Speaker 6: or two. So I think we were okay, like we were,

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Speaker 6: but he was like a Texas boy. I didn't know

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Speaker 6: anything about him. He had never seen any show that

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Speaker 6: I had been on, so that was kind of fun. Yeah,

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Speaker 6: I had no clue, right, it sort of had a clue,

399
00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:51,600
Speaker 6: but like his college buddies knew who I was, but

400
00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:53,560
Speaker 6: he wasn't really like I didn't watch any of those shows.

401
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:57,200
Speaker 6: So and completely hit it off, Like first date five

402
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Speaker 6: hours long, and here we are.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, whoever set you up must have been

404
00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:02,640
Speaker 1: crackety celebrated. They must think.

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Speaker 6: I mean, yes, I guess so she probably feels that way.

406
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Speaker 6: We don't talk anymore. But there were some issues with

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Speaker 6: that too, so don't worry.

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Speaker 1: I have plenty of those. Yeah, A loud and clear

409
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Speaker 1: aladin clear.

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Speaker 6: I think she wasn't happening in her life.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, that's usually how it goes. Yeah, yeah, absolutely so.

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Speaker 3: But you've been together for twenty years or twenty and

413
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Speaker 3: see he's not in the business.

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Speaker 6: He is in the business. That's what I'm saying. It's crazy.

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Speaker 6: So he's an actor. He's kind of made a shift

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Speaker 6: and he's mostly now he's an artist as well, a painter,

417
00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:35,040
Speaker 6: graphic graphic artist, and so now he's doing kids books

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Speaker 6: and graphic novels.

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Speaker 1: And does he do the the artwork for your illustration

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Speaker 1: or any artwork.

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Speaker 6: Now in your books? Actually he doesn't.

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Speaker 1: I should make him do it, but yeah, it seems

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Speaker 1: like that would be a nice co lib, you think.

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Speaker 6: So we did one children's book together, but now he

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Speaker 6: does them all on his own, because I mean, I don't.

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Speaker 1: I don't draw. And do you like being married?

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Speaker 6: I do like being married. I mean, you know, let's

428
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Speaker 6: be honest. There's days where I'm like, I could do

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00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:57,840
Speaker 6: this by myself so much easier. But no, it's it's

430
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Speaker 6: nice having someone to you help, right, to take to

431
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Speaker 6: parent together, not to have to make all the decisions,

432
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Speaker 6: even though I feel like I make a lot of them.

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Speaker 6: But no, I'm being totally I'm kidding, but you're not

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Speaker 6: times but I'm not.

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Speaker 3: I mean, it's very I mean, it's a very typical

436
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Speaker 3: female male dynamic.

437
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Speaker 1: It is.

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Speaker 6: I mean, I look at my parents and they're kind

439
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:23,200
Speaker 6: of the same way. His parents are still married. Who

440
00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:25,600
Speaker 6: I'm very close to my in laws. We come from

441
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Speaker 6: very similar stocks, so it was an easy relationship from

442
00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:29,200
Speaker 6: the beginning.

443
00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:30,920
Speaker 1: It really was. That's nice.

444
00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:32,920
Speaker 6: It's not. I know, it's not always like that. I know.

445
00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:36,000
Speaker 1: I mean, you have a pretty cush legs and everything

446
00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:37,040
Speaker 1: is really cool.

447
00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:40,920
Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean like, I'm pretty fortunate. He's not. You know,

448
00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:43,320
Speaker 6: he's like a pretty normal guy. I like it.

449
00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:46,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, pretty normal too. I feel like I'm pretty normal.

450
00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:49,160
Speaker 3: You don't feel like you've got any major issues that

451
00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:50,120
Speaker 3: are jumping.

452
00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:51,600
Speaker 6: Out, at least not now. Maybe later.

453
00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:54,080
Speaker 3: I'm gonna by the end of the episode, I'll do

454
00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:58,920
Speaker 3: a full analysis, would you. No problem, We're going to

455
00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:01,480
Speaker 3: take a quick break and we will be right back,

456
00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:06,720
Speaker 3: and we're back.

457
00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:07,320
Speaker 2: We're back.

458
00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:09,480
Speaker 1: Sorry. I have never worn a hat while we're doing

459
00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:11,480
Speaker 1: this podcast. I cannot want to take it off.

460
00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:14,080
Speaker 6: Yeah, but it still works. You still see your eye.

461
00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:16,520
Speaker 1: Bruce Springsteen hat that he signed for me, So.

462
00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:18,320
Speaker 6: I I didn't even see that.

463
00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:20,800
Speaker 3: My friends are like, you have to put that in

464
00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:23,680
Speaker 3: a collector's whatever, a glass. I'm like, no, I don't.

465
00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:25,400
Speaker 3: I'm gonna wear the shit out of this fucking hat.

466
00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:26,960
Speaker 3: Are you kidding me? Bruce Springsteen?

467
00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:27,359
Speaker 7: Oh?

468
00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:29,280
Speaker 1: My god, that's awesome, Tiffany.

469
00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:31,040
Speaker 4: You might not have any major issues, but hopefully you

470
00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:33,440
Speaker 4: can help some folks that have major issues.

471
00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:36,200
Speaker 6: Hey, I'm always up to discussing anything.

472
00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:36,960
Speaker 1: Yeah.

473
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:39,639
Speaker 2: So confusingly, we have two Kylie's today.

474
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:45,080
Speaker 3: Oh so we both of them are Actually it's one

475
00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:47,040
Speaker 3: set of lips and then the other set of lips

476
00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:47,680
Speaker 3: back to back.

477
00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:52,600
Speaker 4: Our first caller, Kylie is calling in from Las Vegas.

478
00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:56,160
Speaker 4: She says, Dear Chelsea, one of my closest friends got

479
00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:58,280
Speaker 4: married a few years ago, and I showed the fuck

480
00:17:58,359 --> 00:18:02,480
Speaker 4: up in every way bride's maid's, bachelorette party, etc. When

481
00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:06,200
Speaker 4: she had a baby a few years later, same thing. Basically,

482
00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:08,280
Speaker 4: I've been there for every major life event for her,

483
00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:10,000
Speaker 4: and of course I would be because I love her.

484
00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:12,520
Speaker 4: So when I got engaged and was planning a wedding,

485
00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:15,000
Speaker 4: obviously I invited her. Then she told me she was

486
00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:17,760
Speaker 4: pregnant with her second child do a few months before

487
00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:20,080
Speaker 4: my wedding. Our wedding was in Italy, which is a

488
00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:23,520
Speaker 4: humongous ask, and I kept reassuring her if she couldn't come.

489
00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:24,520
Speaker 2: It's totally okay.

490
00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:28,160
Speaker 4: Weeks before the wedding and well after the RSVP date.

491
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:31,240
Speaker 4: She finally said she couldn't make it, which is completely valid.

492
00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:34,679
Speaker 4: The weekend before my wedding, however, I'm in bed with

493
00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:38,200
Speaker 4: my then fiance and he showed me his Instagram said

494
00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:41,879
Speaker 4: friend was at another wedding in a different state. I

495
00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:44,159
Speaker 4: then went to my Instagram and she had blocked me

496
00:18:44,359 --> 00:18:46,919
Speaker 4: so I wouldn't see. She explained that she blocked me

497
00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:49,720
Speaker 4: because she was quote protecting me and quote didn't want

498
00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:52,840
Speaker 4: to hurt my feelings. I feel at a total loss here.

499
00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:55,800
Speaker 4: My twenties are defined by this girl and the friendship

500
00:18:55,840 --> 00:18:58,280
Speaker 4: we had, and never once have I had bad blood

501
00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:00,400
Speaker 4: with her. But the fact that she can't even put

502
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,400
Speaker 4: pen to paper and write me a note or call

503
00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:06,000
Speaker 4: me I found so incredibly disappointing. I feel sick over this,

504
00:19:06,119 --> 00:19:07,960
Speaker 4: but I also don't know if I can forgive her.

505
00:19:08,359 --> 00:19:10,840
Speaker 4: This was all so messy and so unnecessary, and it

506
00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:12,800
Speaker 4: kills me that someone I thought was a real one

507
00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:15,480
Speaker 4: could act this way again. This has zero to do

508
00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:17,760
Speaker 4: with her not physically being at my nuptials, but has

509
00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:20,000
Speaker 4: everything to do with showing me the same love I've

510
00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:21,359
Speaker 4: given her over the years.

511
00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:22,680
Speaker 1: What should I do?

512
00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:26,160
Speaker 2: Kylie, Hi, Kylie, You're cute?

513
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,800
Speaker 1: All the callers are cute, are they? They are?

514
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:30,080
Speaker 6: They're so cute of the prereconisent.

515
00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:31,919
Speaker 1: Yeah, you have to be cute to call it.

516
00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:33,080
Speaker 6: She's super cute.

517
00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:33,840
Speaker 7: Hello.

518
00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:36,800
Speaker 1: This is Tiffany Theason, our special guest today.

519
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,120
Speaker 6: Hi, Kylie, Hi.

520
00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:40,119
Speaker 7: I'm good. How are you guys?

521
00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:41,000
Speaker 6: We're good great.

522
00:19:41,359 --> 00:19:43,720
Speaker 1: I just heard your letter about your wedding. When is

523
00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:44,960
Speaker 1: your wedding? Has it happened yet?

524
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:48,280
Speaker 5: No? Yes, it was in September. You know, we both

525
00:19:48,359 --> 00:19:50,200
Speaker 5: lived in the same area in New York City. We

526
00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:52,360
Speaker 5: were like thickest thieves for years.

527
00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:53,200
Speaker 7: She got married.

528
00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:58,200
Speaker 5: I was everywhere for her bachelor repp party, weddings, baby showers,

529
00:19:58,280 --> 00:19:59,760
Speaker 5: the whole nine yards.

530
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:01,879
Speaker 6: And would you consider her your best friend? Was she

531
00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:02,639
Speaker 6: your best friend?

532
00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:04,360
Speaker 7: Oh? For years? For sure?

533
00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:06,679
Speaker 5: Yeah, for years. And you know, I get you know,

534
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:09,920
Speaker 5: I moved to Las Vegas. I met my now husband

535
00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:11,720
Speaker 5: when I came out here to party for a weekend,

536
00:20:12,119 --> 00:20:14,200
Speaker 5: and now I live here.

537
00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:16,200
Speaker 6: That's a whole nother story.

538
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:19,240
Speaker 5: Yeah, oh it's great. And I know, I know she

539
00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:22,000
Speaker 5: moved to Atlanta, and I knew we were never going

540
00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:23,959
Speaker 5: to be as close, But there's no reason for us

541
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:26,240
Speaker 5: to have a falling out. Yeah, we used to say

542
00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:29,880
Speaker 5: that it was destiny that we met each other, and

543
00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:34,120
Speaker 5: for her to act like this and just completely.

544
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:35,280
Speaker 6: I can tell you're really hurt.

545
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:37,720
Speaker 7: Yeah, Oh my god, I've been and I feel like

546
00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:38,200
Speaker 7: a child.

547
00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:40,960
Speaker 5: I'm thirty three years old, and I feel like I

548
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:42,560
Speaker 5: like keep waking up in the middle of the night

549
00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:45,000
Speaker 5: and then rereading our text messages, and I'm like, I

550
00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:49,320
Speaker 5: did tell her a hundred times if she couldn't make

551
00:20:49,359 --> 00:20:53,439
Speaker 5: the wedding, it's fine, Like, it's totally cool. I do

552
00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:56,199
Speaker 5: not I don't care. I mean, I know, you got

553
00:20:56,240 --> 00:20:58,000
Speaker 5: another life, you got kids, you got babies.

554
00:20:58,160 --> 00:20:59,840
Speaker 7: I get it. I'm not going to hold it.

555
00:20:59,840 --> 00:21:00,000
Speaker 1: Aga.

556
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:01,960
Speaker 6: Do you think she felt guilty?

557
00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:02,480
Speaker 5: Is that?

558
00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:04,240
Speaker 6: Where do you think this comes from? Is that she

559
00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:07,480
Speaker 6: felt guilty about telling you or being honest?

560
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:08,360
Speaker 7: I don't know.

561
00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:11,840
Speaker 5: I really don't know. But what I'm struggling with now

562
00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:14,760
Speaker 5: is moving forward. I just don't know how to move forward.

563
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:17,720
Speaker 3: What was the same Where did she go from what

564
00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:19,280
Speaker 3: state to what state to the wedding or.

565
00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:20,760
Speaker 6: The other wedding that she didn't tell you about.

566
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:24,240
Speaker 7: She said it was close by, so she lives in Atlanta.

567
00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:26,000
Speaker 3: Because you said it was another state that she went

568
00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:29,359
Speaker 3: to yes, right, because I was thinking like, oh, Italy

569
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:31,520
Speaker 3: obviously too far or whatever, but this wasn't out of

570
00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:34,040
Speaker 3: state wedding, so I'm like, M not exactly the same.

571
00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:35,760
Speaker 6: Thing, but it depends it could have been a dry

572
00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:37,800
Speaker 6: I mean right, she could have driven.

573
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:39,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah.

574
00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:41,679
Speaker 6: I think it's just more. Probably what hurts you the

575
00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:44,080
Speaker 6: most is the dishonesty, which that would bother me the

576
00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:46,760
Speaker 6: most as well, because I don't believe in dishonesty. I

577
00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:48,520
Speaker 6: don't care how hard it is to swallow or not,

578
00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:52,560
Speaker 6: especially if you're that close. Exactly, Yeah, what.

579
00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:54,280
Speaker 3: Was your last exchange with her? When you saw that

580
00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:55,560
Speaker 3: she did go to this other wedding?

581
00:21:56,119 --> 00:21:59,919
Speaker 7: So I messaged her. I was like, are you kidding me? Like,

582
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:03,040
Speaker 7: you completely block me on Instagram?

583
00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:06,320
Speaker 5: My husband sees it and all my other friends who

584
00:22:06,359 --> 00:22:09,360
Speaker 5: know her see it as well, and I go, why did?

585
00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:11,320
Speaker 5: I don't understand why you had? Why I had to

586
00:22:11,359 --> 00:22:14,600
Speaker 5: get this bad, this messy for no reason? And she

587
00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:16,600
Speaker 5: kind of turned it around on me and was like,

588
00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:18,560
Speaker 5: you know, this is who I am, and if you

589
00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:20,360
Speaker 5: have a problem with that.

590
00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:21,959
Speaker 6: That's who I am. That I'm not honest.

591
00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:24,120
Speaker 5: Yeah, She's like, I don't know how many more times

592
00:22:24,119 --> 00:22:25,439
Speaker 5: I can apologize, you know?

593
00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:28,960
Speaker 6: I but did she apologize? She kind of apologized, but

594
00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:30,600
Speaker 6: after the fact, because she wasn't honest.

595
00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:34,240
Speaker 5: She apologized when she didn't RSVP ever months and months

596
00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:37,560
Speaker 5: and months and like only texted me. She sent me

597
00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:40,760
Speaker 5: like an ungrown plant that was supposed to grow into

598
00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:42,800
Speaker 5: an olive tree. I'm like, whatever, and.

599
00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:45,640
Speaker 3: Then you should put that in your bathtub and see

600
00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:49,240
Speaker 3: what happens. I'm grown plant. So annoying when people sent

601
00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:49,880
Speaker 3: shit like that.

602
00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:52,560
Speaker 7: I'm like an ungrown plan. I'm like, what am I

603
00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:53,480
Speaker 7: supposed to do with a twig?

604
00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:57,040
Speaker 5: And you know whatever. So yeah, and I was just,

605
00:22:57,119 --> 00:22:58,800
Speaker 5: you know, I was getting excited for wedding.

606
00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:01,360
Speaker 7: I'm moving on. It's fine, it is what it is.

607
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:04,600
Speaker 5: And then you know, I'm packing and I see that

608
00:23:05,119 --> 00:23:07,760
Speaker 5: this is happening. She blocked me. I was like, I

609
00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:09,960
Speaker 5: was ready to kind of move on. I was ready

610
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:11,520
Speaker 5: to just like put this in the past, and then

611
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:15,719
Speaker 5: you block me. So when I called her out for that,

612
00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:17,639
Speaker 5: she she kind of turned it around to me. She's like,

613
00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:19,840
Speaker 5: this is my life, Like this is how I am.

614
00:23:20,119 --> 00:23:22,439
Speaker 5: You know, if you have a problem, then like have

615
00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:24,680
Speaker 5: a great wedding and blah blah blah.

616
00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:27,800
Speaker 6: She got defensive. Yeah, that's usually what happens.

617
00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:29,640
Speaker 1: Well, that's usually what happens when you know you're wrong.

618
00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:31,560
Speaker 6: Yep, that's exactly.

619
00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:33,520
Speaker 3: Right, because it's like, if the need to be right

620
00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:36,320
Speaker 3: is so fierce you're wrong, like, you don't if you're

621
00:23:36,359 --> 00:23:38,240
Speaker 3: really right, you don't put that kind of you don't know,

622
00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:39,639
Speaker 3: defensive about anything.

623
00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:41,520
Speaker 6: You also don't need to lie. That's the thing. I've

624
00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:43,880
Speaker 6: always said that. And here's the thing I'm going to say.

625
00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:45,400
Speaker 6: This is going to be a really simple thing because

626
00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:47,359
Speaker 6: I've had a couple of relationships and I had one

627
00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:51,600
Speaker 6: that was best friend, longtime relationship. We had an issue,

628
00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:55,480
Speaker 6: had a falling out, and another friend of mine said,

629
00:23:56,080 --> 00:24:02,320
Speaker 6: you know, not all relationships last. Sometimes relationships and friendships

630
00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:04,560
Speaker 6: last for a period of time in your lifetime, for

631
00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:07,200
Speaker 6: that period of time that you need them. You may

632
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:08,480
Speaker 6: not need her anymore.

633
00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:09,000
Speaker 1: I know.

634
00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:12,439
Speaker 5: But that, like I you know, when your phone, you know,

635
00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:14,440
Speaker 5: you wake up in the morning and your phone will

636
00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:17,240
Speaker 5: show you pictures that you have on your reel and

637
00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:20,240
Speaker 5: it will remind you of memories. I have so many

638
00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:23,080
Speaker 5: pictures of her that it will just make a video

639
00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:24,800
Speaker 5: montage of her face I.

640
00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:26,600
Speaker 6: Know, so did I. I mean I didn't have This

641
00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:28,320
Speaker 6: was a while ago, so I didn't have that phone

642
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:32,080
Speaker 6: that could do that back then. But I'm just saying, like, yes,

643
00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:36,000
Speaker 6: I have those memories, and they're great memories, but their memories, right,

644
00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:38,639
Speaker 6: And so you take that part of your section of

645
00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:40,959
Speaker 6: your life that you had with her and appreciate what

646
00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:44,040
Speaker 6: she brought to your life during that time. Apparently she

647
00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:46,760
Speaker 6: can't give that to you right now. Wish her well,

648
00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:49,480
Speaker 6: thank her for what she gave you, and know that

649
00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:52,000
Speaker 6: it'll open the door for somebody else, hopefully to come

650
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:53,800
Speaker 6: in and give you what you need at that moment

651
00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:55,639
Speaker 6: in the next chunk in your life. I like that.

652
00:24:56,119 --> 00:24:57,320
Speaker 1: And another analogy.

653
00:24:57,400 --> 00:25:01,120
Speaker 3: Let's use a plant, because you have one and I'm

654
00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:03,359
Speaker 3: sure it hasn't grown yet. Like, think about a plant

655
00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:05,560
Speaker 3: being watered every day, right, and I think about the

656
00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:08,159
Speaker 3: duration of a plant's life, Like, however long that a

657
00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:09,520
Speaker 3: lifespan is for a plant?

658
00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:11,240
Speaker 1: For six years?

659
00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:15,040
Speaker 3: Say you got watered by one person and then after

660
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:17,919
Speaker 3: that someone else started watering you.

661
00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:19,359
Speaker 1: You're still healthy because of it.

662
00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:22,040
Speaker 3: You still have memories, you're still lively, you still have

663
00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:24,080
Speaker 3: vibrancy because someone was watering you.

664
00:25:24,119 --> 00:25:25,800
Speaker 1: It's just going to be a different person that's doing

665
00:25:25,880 --> 00:25:26,879
Speaker 1: the watering from now on.

666
00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:29,760
Speaker 3: I agree completely with what Tiffany said, like you can't

667
00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:31,919
Speaker 3: hold on to anger. The biggest thing you could do

668
00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:34,240
Speaker 3: is be like, okay, you know, if you want to

669
00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:36,440
Speaker 3: write her one last thing, then that would be fine too,

670
00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:38,280
Speaker 3: to be like, listen, I don't think that's what you need,

671
00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:40,439
Speaker 3: you know, for a closure, Like it was really upsetting

672
00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:42,520
Speaker 3: for you to respond like that blocking me on Instagram.

673
00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:45,200
Speaker 3: It was childish. There's just really no other way around

674
00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:47,879
Speaker 3: it than that. That was childish. I've never put pressure

675
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:49,439
Speaker 3: on you to come to my wedding. In fact, I

676
00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:52,200
Speaker 3: gave you out many many times. So if you're mad

677
00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:54,800
Speaker 3: at me, like you should really question about who you're

678
00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:57,320
Speaker 3: upset with and why, because it shouldn't be me. I

679
00:25:57,359 --> 00:25:59,560
Speaker 3: haven't done anything except called you out when you blocked

680
00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:01,200
Speaker 3: me on instad when you went to another wedding.

681
00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:03,200
Speaker 1: Of course, you're allowed to go to weddings.

682
00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:04,720
Speaker 3: You know, but make it short and sweet and loving

683
00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:07,520
Speaker 3: and be like, you know, it's really sad that this

684
00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:10,879
Speaker 3: feels like our relationship's over, and you know, I just

685
00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:12,800
Speaker 3: want to let you know thanks for all the good memories.

686
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:14,679
Speaker 3: They pop up on my phone all the time, and

687
00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:17,679
Speaker 3: blah blah blah. I don't think you should try to.

688
00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:22,240
Speaker 3: There's no reason in matching her level of anger, defensiveness

689
00:26:22,359 --> 00:26:25,440
Speaker 3: or like not being forth right. You know, I think

690
00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:27,600
Speaker 3: you can kind of like I think when someone demonstrates

691
00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:29,840
Speaker 3: that behavior to you, it's an opportunity for you to

692
00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:34,160
Speaker 3: demonstrate the opposite behavior because whether or not it heals

693
00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:36,480
Speaker 3: now or she's open to hearing it now, it's just

694
00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:38,639
Speaker 3: good to put that vibe out there in terms of

695
00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:40,720
Speaker 3: your energy and the people that you're going to want

696
00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:43,680
Speaker 3: to attract moving forward. That to keep your head high

697
00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:46,959
Speaker 3: and be generous of spirit and be like, Okay, I

698
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:49,200
Speaker 3: got it. You know, I just want to let you know,

699
00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:51,359
Speaker 3: like I'll think fondly of you.

700
00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:52,480
Speaker 7: Yeah.

701
00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:56,560
Speaker 5: I think just what struggled for me because I didn't

702
00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:59,000
Speaker 5: move far away from all the people that I know

703
00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:02,200
Speaker 5: and love my whole life, and I just feel like

704
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:04,760
Speaker 5: I've just had to like slowly trim the fat off

705
00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:08,280
Speaker 5: because my time when I'm home is very precious and

706
00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:10,520
Speaker 5: I really want to spend time with people that really

707
00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:14,040
Speaker 5: bring me joy. And I just feel like through the

708
00:27:14,119 --> 00:27:15,840
Speaker 5: years since I've moved here, I've now lived here for

709
00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:19,600
Speaker 5: five years, like each year like someone kind of is

710
00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:20,440
Speaker 5: trimmed off.

711
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:21,080
Speaker 1: Yep.

712
00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:23,520
Speaker 6: And it's going to get trimmer and trimmer as you

713
00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:26,000
Speaker 6: get older, I promise you. But that's kind of a

714
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:29,280
Speaker 6: good thing because honestly, your time is so precious and

715
00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:33,639
Speaker 6: as you get older that it's okay, because having forty

716
00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:37,120
Speaker 6: billion friends doesn't cut it. You're too fucking tired, first

717
00:27:37,119 --> 00:27:37,920
Speaker 6: of all, as you get older.

718
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:41,360
Speaker 5: I agree, I agree with that I'm tired. But this

719
00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:44,880
Speaker 5: one just felt like I had this I realizing it.

720
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:46,800
Speaker 5: This one, just this one just sucks.

721
00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:48,480
Speaker 6: Yeah, No, it's okay.

722
00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:50,400
Speaker 1: I've been through one of those too. Me too.

723
00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:53,199
Speaker 3: It's a long, long term girlfriend, and for it was

724
00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:56,320
Speaker 3: like our break. Our relationship was fractuaring for like three

725
00:27:56,440 --> 00:27:59,320
Speaker 3: years before we made a break, three years. I was like,

726
00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:01,320
Speaker 3: let me try and do this, let me try and

727
00:28:01,359 --> 00:28:03,520
Speaker 3: do this, let me include her in this, let me

728
00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:06,440
Speaker 3: do and it just every time I was reminded that

729
00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:08,680
Speaker 3: we no longer had the friendship that we used to have.

730
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:11,119
Speaker 6: But we we have different paths. I mean, you have

731
00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:13,600
Speaker 6: to remember, like we really as people were all so

732
00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:17,200
Speaker 6: different and sometimes when we come together like you guys did,

733
00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:19,800
Speaker 6: was an awesome time. You learn from each other, You

734
00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:22,639
Speaker 6: supported each other whatever you guys needed, But that doesn't

735
00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:25,000
Speaker 6: mean you're going to continue doing that. So it sounds

736
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:27,359
Speaker 6: like you're at a place right now where that relationship

737
00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:29,879
Speaker 6: is kind of run its course, and that's okay.

738
00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:31,920
Speaker 7: Yeah, I get it.

739
00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:34,800
Speaker 5: It's just such a morning for me because the other

740
00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:36,960
Speaker 5: ones that I have, like I saw the ones that

741
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:37,800
Speaker 5: were running their course.

742
00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:39,360
Speaker 7: I was like, you know what, let's leave those.

743
00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:39,760
Speaker 6: In the past.

744
00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:42,640
Speaker 7: Yeah, it's just like it's waking me up at night.

745
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:45,120
Speaker 6: I had one that did the same thing I did.

746
00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:45,560
Speaker 6: I did.

747
00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:48,840
Speaker 3: You need to really just send good vibes her way

748
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:52,200
Speaker 3: as a way to like release your holding onto it,

749
00:28:52,280 --> 00:28:55,920
Speaker 3: because you need to move into the idea of we

750
00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:58,600
Speaker 3: need to move into acceptance rather than resistance, because you

751
00:28:58,600 --> 00:28:59,720
Speaker 3: know right now you're resisting it.

752
00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:01,720
Speaker 1: I can't believe you're still upset.

753
00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:04,440
Speaker 3: You're going on to the hurt and it's okay to grieve,

754
00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:07,080
Speaker 3: but you have to understand this is just not the

755
00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:08,840
Speaker 3: time in your life that she's going to be in it,

756
00:29:08,920 --> 00:29:11,400
Speaker 3: you know, and unless she comes to you and she

757
00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:14,360
Speaker 3: just like does a whole one eighty or three sixty

758
00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:17,320
Speaker 3: or whatever, the fucking degree circle train it is and

759
00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:18,880
Speaker 3: comes and says I'm so sorry.

760
00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:21,720
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. Then you would forgive her because you're

761
00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:24,240
Speaker 1: being reasonable about all of this, but.

762
00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:26,800
Speaker 6: Also don't expect it. No, please don't expect.

763
00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:28,480
Speaker 5: Me, I know, and you know we're down the street

764
00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:32,360
Speaker 5: through you know my other friends is that she's apparently

765
00:29:32,400 --> 00:29:35,560
Speaker 5: written me a letter. But apparently that letter was written

766
00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:38,800
Speaker 5: like during my wedding weekend, but that.

767
00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:42,640
Speaker 7: Now it's November thirteenth, there's still no letter.

768
00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:45,680
Speaker 6: You may never see it. And that's okay too, That's

769
00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:48,400
Speaker 6: okay too, you know what I mean. Truly, I know

770
00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:50,280
Speaker 6: it's hard because I can tell, like you, you've been

771
00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:52,400
Speaker 6: through a lot of big moments with her, and I

772
00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:54,040
Speaker 6: feel like you were waiting for her to do that

773
00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:56,640
Speaker 6: for you. But that's part of friendships. You want to

774
00:29:56,680 --> 00:29:59,120
Speaker 6: you want to be able to share kind of similar things, right,

775
00:29:59,160 --> 00:30:01,840
Speaker 6: And that's exactly how what happened. My best friend had gone,

776
00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:04,080
Speaker 6: you know, she was actually her second marriage, but then

777
00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:05,880
Speaker 6: you know, had babies and all that, you know, and

778
00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:07,560
Speaker 6: I was there for all of it, and I hadn't

779
00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:09,280
Speaker 6: done any of that yet, you know what I mean.

780
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:11,720
Speaker 6: So by the time it came around for me, it

781
00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:14,160
Speaker 6: just she wasn't the person that needed to be there

782
00:30:14,160 --> 00:30:17,000
Speaker 6: for me for that and it was hard. But it's okay.

783
00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:18,800
Speaker 1: Do you have some other friends that you hang out

784
00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:19,160
Speaker 1: with now?

785
00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:20,120
Speaker 7: Vegas?

786
00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:21,280
Speaker 6: I love different.

787
00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:23,720
Speaker 7: It is a really tough place to meet people.

788
00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:25,480
Speaker 8: You know.

789
00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:27,240
Speaker 7: I moved here five years ago.

790
00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:30,720
Speaker 5: We were of long distance for almost two years, and

791
00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:33,000
Speaker 5: my job at the time let me move out here.

792
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:35,640
Speaker 7: It was like it was just a great, you know situation.

793
00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:38,680
Speaker 5: But yeah, I mean in New York, I would just

794
00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:40,760
Speaker 5: walk out my door and just.

795
00:30:40,840 --> 00:30:44,240
Speaker 6: Meet That's a very different place. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's Vegas.

796
00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:45,800
Speaker 6: It's going to be it like, is that where you

797
00:30:45,800 --> 00:30:47,800
Speaker 6: guys are going to stay you think? Or no?

798
00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:50,640
Speaker 5: No, I mean I told him I wouldn't marry him

799
00:30:50,720 --> 00:30:54,080
Speaker 5: unless we were getting out of here.

800
00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:58,560
Speaker 1: That's a rough spot. I don't think that's helping.

801
00:31:00,480 --> 00:31:03,360
Speaker 3: The backdrop of Vegas is not an uplifting, you know,

802
00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:05,200
Speaker 3: spirited kind of place.

803
00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:05,880
Speaker 1: Yeah.

804
00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:08,240
Speaker 6: So you do not seem like a Vegas girl either.

805
00:31:08,360 --> 00:31:09,400
Speaker 6: And I don't know you well, but.

806
00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:14,800
Speaker 5: You know, I've found my weird little places here. You know,

807
00:31:14,840 --> 00:31:17,400
Speaker 5: there is some great things about this place, but you

808
00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:18,680
Speaker 5: just really got.

809
00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:18,920
Speaker 7: To find them.

810
00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:22,680
Speaker 5: It's like such a dig. But I think that's also heightened.

811
00:31:22,720 --> 00:31:25,479
Speaker 5: Why I feel so sensitive about this topic is because

812
00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:27,880
Speaker 5: I don't really have like a friend outlet as much here.

813
00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:30,880
Speaker 6: I think you're right, yes, And I think that's very

814
00:31:30,920 --> 00:31:32,800
Speaker 6: smart to recognize that, because that's going to help you

815
00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:33,360
Speaker 6: move on too.

816
00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:36,600
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, my poor husband, he's like, I don't want

817
00:31:36,600 --> 00:31:38,400
Speaker 5: to hear about this anymore.

818
00:31:40,160 --> 00:31:41,120
Speaker 1: Do you have a therapist?

819
00:31:41,440 --> 00:31:44,480
Speaker 3: I do, Well, that's the outlet for it, you know

820
00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:46,360
Speaker 3: what I mean, because at a certain point you don't

821
00:31:46,360 --> 00:31:49,240
Speaker 3: want to keep belaboring it either, not to your husband.

822
00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:51,960
Speaker 3: You're just putting out that energy when you're constantly talking

823
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:54,800
Speaker 3: about it when you're in the thing with like the therapist.

824
00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:57,480
Speaker 3: And obviously this is a good place to talk about

825
00:31:57,480 --> 00:31:59,520
Speaker 3: it because that's why you called in. But when you're

826
00:31:59,520 --> 00:32:03,000
Speaker 3: in under the umbrella of therapy with another professional, then

827
00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:04,960
Speaker 3: that's the place to really get into it. I know

828
00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:06,680
Speaker 3: that was really helpful for me when I was dealing

829
00:32:06,680 --> 00:32:08,560
Speaker 3: with this girlfriend that I was talking about, because he

830
00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:10,680
Speaker 3: was like, this doesn't sound like your friend, and I'm like,

831
00:32:11,040 --> 00:32:13,680
Speaker 3: I know, but she wasn't like this before. I'm like,

832
00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:15,720
Speaker 3: she's never been like this, and he's like, well, you know,

833
00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:18,200
Speaker 3: you're changing and that she probably doesn't like that, she's

834
00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:20,560
Speaker 3: not on board with that, and that's exactly what was true,

835
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:21,160
Speaker 3: and it was a.

836
00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:22,840
Speaker 1: Very very hard pill to swallow.

837
00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:26,480
Speaker 3: But you have to understand, like everything does pass, you

838
00:32:26,520 --> 00:32:30,040
Speaker 3: know what I mean, this too will pass, Like everything

839
00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:32,680
Speaker 3: just needs a little bit of time, and then it

840
00:32:32,720 --> 00:32:35,480
Speaker 3: doesn't feel as acute as you're feeling right now, and

841
00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:38,120
Speaker 3: you should really just start, like just start a meditation

842
00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:41,160
Speaker 3: practice where you are sending her. It's like called loving

843
00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:45,320
Speaker 3: Kindness meditation, and you send her and then people, you know,

844
00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:46,840
Speaker 3: you go down a whole list of people. We've talked

845
00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:49,040
Speaker 3: about it on this podcast many times, but you can

846
00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:50,960
Speaker 3: look it up Loving Kindness Meditation, and then there's a

847
00:32:50,960 --> 00:32:53,680
Speaker 3: bunch of other ones. Just to get yourself like in

848
00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:56,280
Speaker 3: a like a higher vibrancy so that that doesn't kind

849
00:32:56,320 --> 00:32:59,440
Speaker 3: of take you down, like a gift to yourself, you know, like,

850
00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:00,960
Speaker 3: this is what I want to attract. I want to

851
00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:02,440
Speaker 3: attract people I want to hang out with. I want

852
00:33:02,440 --> 00:33:04,680
Speaker 3: to attract whatever your hobbies or if you want to

853
00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:07,960
Speaker 3: add hobbies or interesting books to read, Like anytime you

854
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:11,880
Speaker 3: can take yourself out of yourself, you're reminded that it's

855
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:15,640
Speaker 3: one person in this mass universe of billions of people,

856
00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:18,720
Speaker 3: and she's not going to define how you think about

857
00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:20,720
Speaker 3: yourself or feel about yourself.

858
00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:21,880
Speaker 7: Yeah, you're right.

859
00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:25,080
Speaker 5: I think Also it's interesting now in the world that

860
00:33:25,120 --> 00:33:27,440
Speaker 5: we live in that you kind of are able to

861
00:33:27,480 --> 00:33:29,920
Speaker 5: hold onto things a little longer because of social media.

862
00:33:30,120 --> 00:33:32,320
Speaker 5: Like back in the day, you were just like, Okay,

863
00:33:32,360 --> 00:33:34,920
Speaker 5: I'm done with this person, Like whatever, goodbye. I don't

864
00:33:34,960 --> 00:33:38,200
Speaker 5: need to see your face. So I'm friends with all

865
00:33:38,200 --> 00:33:39,520
Speaker 5: her friends. She's frends with all my friends.

866
00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:39,760
Speaker 7: You know.

867
00:33:39,840 --> 00:33:43,920
Speaker 5: It's like it's so intertwined the world and I'm not there,

868
00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:47,000
Speaker 5: and it's just I just see it and I just

869
00:33:47,120 --> 00:33:49,680
Speaker 5: don't That's what makes it harder to let go. And

870
00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:53,480
Speaker 5: I've been taking serious social media breaks.

871
00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:55,640
Speaker 7: Because of this. Yeah that's a good thing because like

872
00:33:55,680 --> 00:33:56,320
Speaker 7: I can't see it.

873
00:33:56,360 --> 00:33:58,480
Speaker 6: That's not a bad thing. That's not a bad thing.

874
00:33:58,920 --> 00:34:01,520
Speaker 5: I don't hate her, but I'm just so disappointed, and

875
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:03,760
Speaker 5: I think I need to start taking this step up.

876
00:34:04,240 --> 00:34:05,160
Speaker 7: It just it hurts.

877
00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:07,640
Speaker 5: I just feel hurt, and I hate that it stems

878
00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:10,480
Speaker 5: from a wedding like that makes me one of THEUS.

879
00:34:10,520 --> 00:34:11,680
Speaker 1: I hear you, I hear you.

880
00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:15,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, but just start giving yourself medicine in different ways, meditation,

881
00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:18,800
Speaker 3: things that are just going to like lift your spirit

882
00:34:18,840 --> 00:34:20,799
Speaker 3: a little bit more because that's what it does, you know,

883
00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:24,040
Speaker 3: meditating every single day, even for five minutes, it gives

884
00:34:24,040 --> 00:34:26,319
Speaker 3: you a little boost. And then you're like, oh my god,

885
00:34:26,360 --> 00:34:28,160
Speaker 3: why was I worried about that? And why was I

886
00:34:28,239 --> 00:34:30,439
Speaker 3: worried about this? And yeah, I would stay off social

887
00:34:30,520 --> 00:34:32,440
Speaker 3: media as much as you possibly can. You're not fucking

888
00:34:32,440 --> 00:34:33,080
Speaker 3: missing anything.

889
00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:33,840
Speaker 6: Oh you're not.

890
00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:38,279
Speaker 4: Exactly, and you may find like as the sting sort

891
00:34:38,320 --> 00:34:42,160
Speaker 4: of dissipates, you find yourself able to throw a heart

892
00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:45,080
Speaker 4: on her posts or send her like good vibes and

893
00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:47,240
Speaker 4: be like, oh, those are like her cute kids.

894
00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:48,680
Speaker 2: In there, whatever Halloween costumes.

895
00:34:48,880 --> 00:34:50,759
Speaker 4: I have a friend a situation just like this where

896
00:34:50,760 --> 00:34:53,120
Speaker 4: it's like I still love her, but at the same time,

897
00:34:53,160 --> 00:34:55,240
Speaker 4: like she's not the person I prioritize when I'm visiting

898
00:34:55,280 --> 00:34:57,839
Speaker 4: home because she showed me that's not where she's at

899
00:34:57,840 --> 00:34:58,799
Speaker 4: with me, you know what I mean.

900
00:34:59,840 --> 00:35:01,719
Speaker 6: He a mind, So just you know, you don't have to,

901
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:07,200
Speaker 6: you know, you wish them well, I still wish that,

902
00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:08,080
Speaker 6: but it's always.

903
00:35:08,080 --> 00:35:11,399
Speaker 1: To just put good output out there. It's good.

904
00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:14,960
Speaker 6: I actually I wrote my exit letter, but I wrote

905
00:35:14,960 --> 00:35:16,719
Speaker 6: it knowing that I was not going to give it

906
00:35:16,719 --> 00:35:20,560
Speaker 6: to her, and that helped me because I put it penned,

907
00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:23,359
Speaker 6: you know, like thought thought to pen right, and I

908
00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:25,080
Speaker 6: wrote it and maybe that's what she did to you,

909
00:35:25,120 --> 00:35:26,880
Speaker 6: and she's not going to give it to you, but whatever,

910
00:35:27,280 --> 00:35:30,480
Speaker 6: this is about you. So I did that and I

911
00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:32,680
Speaker 6: folded it up and I just literally put it in

912
00:35:32,680 --> 00:35:34,080
Speaker 6: my drawer and I never gave it to her, but

913
00:35:34,120 --> 00:35:36,560
Speaker 6: it was helpful to just get all my thoughts out

914
00:35:37,040 --> 00:35:39,480
Speaker 6: again not giving it to my at that time fiance

915
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:41,920
Speaker 6: now husband, because it was it was too much, it

916
00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:43,560
Speaker 6: was getting I was just like I was so upset,

917
00:35:43,600 --> 00:35:46,680
Speaker 6: I was hurt, I was pissed, and it helped me

918
00:35:46,680 --> 00:35:47,440
Speaker 6: move on a little bit.

919
00:35:47,560 --> 00:35:49,160
Speaker 4: And there is something about writing it down that like

920
00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:51,600
Speaker 4: you get out of rumination mode because your brain is

921
00:35:51,600 --> 00:35:53,640
Speaker 4: constantly trying to think of like the ideas and remember

922
00:35:53,680 --> 00:35:55,040
Speaker 4: the things that you would say. But if you get

923
00:35:55,080 --> 00:35:58,720
Speaker 4: it physically out of the body totally, yeah.

924
00:35:58,320 --> 00:35:59,600
Speaker 7: Well that's why I originally did. I.

925
00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:02,160
Speaker 5: I do that in my notes section and then I

926
00:36:02,200 --> 00:36:05,120
Speaker 5: was like in my car, just marinating. I parked in

927
00:36:05,120 --> 00:36:07,000
Speaker 5: my garage, just like sitting there and I was like,

928
00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:12,920
Speaker 5: you know what, I'm gonna send this to dear and

929
00:36:12,960 --> 00:36:15,279
Speaker 5: then I just edited it for you guys, and I

930
00:36:15,320 --> 00:36:17,239
Speaker 5: was like yeah, and then I was it's out in

931
00:36:17,239 --> 00:36:17,520
Speaker 5: the world.

932
00:36:17,560 --> 00:36:19,879
Speaker 7: I'm going to send it and here we are.

933
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:23,359
Speaker 4: Okay, Kylie, Well, do a loving kindness meditation, and I

934
00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:25,440
Speaker 4: think maybe, like in thirty days, will you check in

935
00:36:25,480 --> 00:36:26,680
Speaker 4: with us and tell us.

936
00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:27,600
Speaker 2: Where you're at with it?

937
00:36:27,960 --> 00:36:30,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, because you have to take some steps actively between

938
00:36:30,760 --> 00:36:33,799
Speaker 3: now and then to start filling yourself back up and

939
00:36:33,840 --> 00:36:34,600
Speaker 3: getting rid of.

940
00:36:34,560 --> 00:36:36,600
Speaker 1: The like kind of pain that you're holding onto.

941
00:36:37,080 --> 00:36:39,319
Speaker 3: This is that good for you, So that's you're going

942
00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:41,600
Speaker 3: to do it in the effort, like you're giving yourself medicine.

943
00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:42,840
Speaker 7: Okay, you got it.

944
00:36:42,920 --> 00:36:44,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, And get back to us in thirty days and

945
00:36:44,880 --> 00:36:47,280
Speaker 3: tell us how your mood is okay, Okay.

946
00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:49,320
Speaker 7: I will just so much.

947
00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:52,040
Speaker 3: And when you're feeling inclined to go on, you know,

948
00:36:52,160 --> 00:36:54,440
Speaker 3: in moments of weakness to like look at the friends

949
00:36:54,480 --> 00:36:57,279
Speaker 3: Instagram or do that stuff like scroll, I think you

950
00:36:57,280 --> 00:36:59,600
Speaker 3: should really go try to read a book or treat

951
00:37:00,400 --> 00:37:03,160
Speaker 3: to do something else so that you're just giving yourself

952
00:37:03,239 --> 00:37:04,880
Speaker 3: a little bit more space away from.

953
00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:07,040
Speaker 6: It, especially if you're looking at it feeling a little weak.

954
00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:09,160
Speaker 6: Don't ever look at it when you're feeling like you're

955
00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:11,000
Speaker 6: searching for that specific thing.

956
00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:13,799
Speaker 4: Don't go on it, and don't comment snarky things. No

957
00:37:13,920 --> 00:37:16,560
Speaker 4: snark no, no you want to do that?

958
00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:17,000
Speaker 1: No?

959
00:37:17,280 --> 00:37:19,520
Speaker 2: All right, Kylie, thank you for calling in.

960
00:37:20,719 --> 00:37:22,480
Speaker 7: It was nice talking with you guys. Thank you for

961
00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:23,120
Speaker 7: having me on.

962
00:37:23,280 --> 00:37:25,800
Speaker 1: Bye Kylie, good back bye.

963
00:37:27,080 --> 00:37:29,200
Speaker 3: I mean living in Vegas was the worst part about

964
00:37:29,239 --> 00:37:30,720
Speaker 3: that story.

965
00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:34,160
Speaker 6: I just can't or I think she so doesn't look

966
00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:36,120
Speaker 6: like someone that you would like. I mean, from New

967
00:37:36,200 --> 00:37:38,560
Speaker 6: York to Vegas, that's pretty rudle.

968
00:37:38,640 --> 00:37:40,279
Speaker 3: I had a boyfriend that lived in Vegas, and I

969
00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:42,240
Speaker 3: was like, what are you doing with this house?

970
00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:44,719
Speaker 1: Get rid of it immediately? But didn't really live there,

971
00:37:44,719 --> 00:37:45,160
Speaker 1: but he had.

972
00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:48,000
Speaker 3: A house there, and I'm like, no, what, who knows?

973
00:37:48,440 --> 00:37:52,160
Speaker 3: I'm like, Vegas is not for living, Yeah, because it's

974
00:37:52,160 --> 00:37:52,920
Speaker 3: for visiting.

975
00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:55,560
Speaker 4: Just to throw a loving kindness meditation in there for

976
00:37:55,600 --> 00:37:58,000
Speaker 4: anybody who's listening. I found this one actually a couple

977
00:37:58,000 --> 00:37:59,960
Speaker 4: weeks ago, and I made a note of it because

978
00:38:00,040 --> 00:38:02,520
Speaker 4: knew it would come up again. May you be comfortable,

979
00:38:02,960 --> 00:38:06,160
Speaker 4: May you be nourished, May you be appreciated. May you

980
00:38:06,239 --> 00:38:08,960
Speaker 4: be loved and they can think that about like maybe

981
00:38:08,960 --> 00:38:11,120
Speaker 4: someone you're who you're really close with, and then someone

982
00:38:11,160 --> 00:38:13,560
Speaker 4: you're last close with, and then this person you're having

983
00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:14,600
Speaker 4: an issue with.

984
00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:16,720
Speaker 1: So yeah, yea, yeah, that's a good one.

985
00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:19,640
Speaker 6: I use that, right, Is that nice? I like it? Yeah?

986
00:38:19,680 --> 00:38:23,080
Speaker 3: I used it for like sixty days after I don't remember,

987
00:38:23,080 --> 00:38:24,160
Speaker 3: after I broke up with someone.

988
00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:31,319
Speaker 4: Yeah, are you ready for Kylie Number two?

989
00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:33,480
Speaker 2: Yeah?

990
00:38:33,600 --> 00:38:35,239
Speaker 6: In Vegas where he's from.

991
00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:37,120
Speaker 2: She's in Pacific Northwest.

992
00:38:37,160 --> 00:38:42,040
Speaker 4: She's up north Okay, Kylie number two, says dear Chelsea.

993
00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:45,600
Speaker 4: The holidays are quickly approaching, and I'm in a predicament.

994
00:38:46,080 --> 00:38:48,920
Speaker 4: My mom passed away in January, and it was indeed

995
00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:51,000
Speaker 4: one of the hardest moments we faced as a family.

996
00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:54,359
Speaker 4: About five months after her passing, my dad let us

997
00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:56,759
Speaker 4: know he was seeing someone. My parents had been married

998
00:38:56,760 --> 00:38:58,879
Speaker 4: almost thirty years, so to hear of a partner so

999
00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:01,560
Speaker 4: soon was gut wrenching men And then she did the

1000
00:39:01,560 --> 00:39:05,480
Speaker 4: Ayrol emoji. Since then, he's asked me and my sisters

1001
00:39:05,560 --> 00:39:07,680
Speaker 4: if we'd be willing to meet with her. Both of

1002
00:39:07,719 --> 00:39:10,279
Speaker 4: my sisters are against it and totally refuse, and I

1003
00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:13,440
Speaker 4: simply told them I'm not ready. He was understanding, but

1004
00:39:13,480 --> 00:39:15,879
Speaker 4: you could see it crushed him. He mentions her from

1005
00:39:15,880 --> 00:39:17,759
Speaker 4: time to time and even asked if he could take

1006
00:39:17,760 --> 00:39:19,960
Speaker 4: my three and one year old to see her again.

1007
00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:23,560
Speaker 4: My response is not yet. Now it's time for the holidays,

1008
00:39:23,640 --> 00:39:26,440
Speaker 4: and my grandma, my dad's mom, wants my dad and

1009
00:39:26,480 --> 00:39:29,680
Speaker 4: his girlfriend to host. My heart is broken to think

1010
00:39:29,719 --> 00:39:31,840
Speaker 4: that not only will I be grieving the first holidays

1011
00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:34,120
Speaker 4: without my mom, but I also won't be spending it

1012
00:39:34,120 --> 00:39:37,240
Speaker 4: with my family. I'm fortunate to have an amazing support

1013
00:39:37,239 --> 00:39:39,799
Speaker 4: system and my husband's family during this time, and maybe

1014
00:39:39,840 --> 00:39:41,760
Speaker 4: it will just be a pill I eventually have to swallow.

1015
00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:43,839
Speaker 4: But I'm just not ready yet, and I'm afraid I'll

1016
00:39:43,840 --> 00:39:46,359
Speaker 4: spend the holiday crying and make everyone feel uncomfortable.

1017
00:39:46,760 --> 00:39:48,799
Speaker 2: How do I handle this? Kylie?

1018
00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:49,560
Speaker 6: Hi?

1019
00:39:49,960 --> 00:39:53,680
Speaker 1: Hi, Kylie. This is Tiffany Thason, our special guest today.

1020
00:39:53,840 --> 00:39:54,279
Speaker 1: She's here.

1021
00:39:55,440 --> 00:39:57,440
Speaker 6: I'm so sorry about your loss.

1022
00:39:58,200 --> 00:39:59,480
Speaker 8: Thank you so much.

1023
00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:03,080
Speaker 1: When did your mom die January of this year.

1024
00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:05,040
Speaker 2: And you cared for her for a little while before

1025
00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:05,480
Speaker 2: she passed?

1026
00:40:05,520 --> 00:40:05,880
Speaker 6: Correct?

1027
00:40:06,480 --> 00:40:08,399
Speaker 8: Oh yeah, yeah, she came and looked with us.

1028
00:40:08,560 --> 00:40:12,360
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah, So I think it's completely reasonable, And

1029
00:40:12,400 --> 00:40:14,800
Speaker 3: you said it in your letter, like it's too soon

1030
00:40:14,960 --> 00:40:17,600
Speaker 3: for you to have not yet is a very gracious

1031
00:40:17,640 --> 00:40:20,600
Speaker 3: way to say, I'm getting there, but I'm not there yet,

1032
00:40:20,640 --> 00:40:22,359
Speaker 3: you know, or I know I have to get here,

1033
00:40:22,840 --> 00:40:25,319
Speaker 3: but I'm not there yet. And it's totally reasonable for

1034
00:40:25,360 --> 00:40:27,319
Speaker 3: you to tell your father what it is like. I

1035
00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:29,759
Speaker 3: know this is a you know, disappointing to you, but

1036
00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:32,120
Speaker 3: I have to honor my feelings and I'm not ready.

1037
00:40:32,280 --> 00:40:33,880
Speaker 1: I'm not ready to meet your new girlfriend.

1038
00:40:33,920 --> 00:40:36,759
Speaker 3: I'm not done mourning my mother, and it's hard for

1039
00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:38,880
Speaker 3: me to even think of you with someone else. So

1040
00:40:38,920 --> 00:40:41,800
Speaker 3: I really need you to respect my wishes during this time.

1041
00:40:42,120 --> 00:40:44,920
Speaker 3: I love you. I understand that you don't want to

1042
00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:47,400
Speaker 3: be alone and that you found someone, but that's not

1043
00:40:47,960 --> 00:40:49,800
Speaker 3: part of what I'm ready to deal with yet.

1044
00:40:50,080 --> 00:40:52,719
Speaker 1: It's not like it's been five years. It's been not

1045
00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:53,600
Speaker 1: even a full year.

1046
00:40:53,760 --> 00:40:56,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, so I think it's totally fine and you

1047
00:40:56,640 --> 00:40:57,600
Speaker 3: can put I would put that.

1048
00:40:57,560 --> 00:40:58,080
Speaker 1: In a letter.

1049
00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:02,120
Speaker 8: I love that idea. I'm not very good verbally talking

1050
00:41:02,160 --> 00:41:04,200
Speaker 8: about it with him, so a letter sounds like a

1051
00:41:04,239 --> 00:41:05,000
Speaker 8: really good idea.

1052
00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:05,760
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1053
00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:07,839
Speaker 3: And you can see your other sisters and make sure

1054
00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:09,319
Speaker 3: everyone has eyes on it, you know.

1055
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:12,720
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, and your sisters feel the same way.

1056
00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:16,840
Speaker 8: My sisters are more passionate about never meeting a person.

1057
00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:19,799
Speaker 6: Oh okay, are they younger? Are they younger than you?

1058
00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:21,720
Speaker 8: I'm the middle, I'm the middle.

1059
00:41:21,800 --> 00:41:23,360
Speaker 6: I was the middle. Yes, okay.

1060
00:41:23,680 --> 00:41:25,799
Speaker 4: Is there any particular reason that they don't want to

1061
00:41:25,800 --> 00:41:27,600
Speaker 4: meet her ever? Like, is it someone that you guys

1062
00:41:27,680 --> 00:41:29,359
Speaker 4: knew already or just.

1063
00:41:29,360 --> 00:41:32,800
Speaker 8: Your relationship wise, there are our whole lives sped rocky

1064
00:41:32,840 --> 00:41:36,080
Speaker 8: with our parents, but I think I chose to forgive

1065
00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:38,160
Speaker 8: and they're still and the healing.

1066
00:41:38,360 --> 00:41:41,120
Speaker 6: Okay, so there's some backstory then I feel like, so

1067
00:41:41,440 --> 00:41:44,560
Speaker 6: your parents' relationship was rocky, or your relationship with your

1068
00:41:44,560 --> 00:41:45,759
Speaker 6: parents was rocky.

1069
00:41:46,040 --> 00:41:47,040
Speaker 1: Both all of it.

1070
00:41:47,120 --> 00:41:51,560
Speaker 8: Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. So I think I feel like

1071
00:41:52,239 --> 00:41:55,120
Speaker 8: I want him to be happy, and us not meeting

1072
00:41:55,160 --> 00:41:58,879
Speaker 8: him is stopping that happiness, or meeting her, I should say,

1073
00:41:59,080 --> 00:42:01,279
Speaker 8: is is kind of stopping that happiness.

1074
00:42:01,360 --> 00:42:04,400
Speaker 1: But no, it's not stop stopping his happiness.

1075
00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:07,560
Speaker 3: He's he's probably happy when he's with her, but he's

1076
00:42:07,719 --> 00:42:10,520
Speaker 3: just not getting a full he's not getting everything he wants.

1077
00:42:10,640 --> 00:42:13,719
Speaker 6: That doesn't mean okay too, not everybody gets that, you know.

1078
00:42:13,840 --> 00:42:15,960
Speaker 3: Can you elaborate a little bit on the rockiness, Like

1079
00:42:16,320 --> 00:42:18,080
Speaker 3: what was the dynamic that made it rocky?

1080
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:19,040
Speaker 1: Their relationship?

1081
00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:22,040
Speaker 8: Yeah, their relationship for sure. I mean they loved each

1082
00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:26,440
Speaker 8: other so much. But one two I don't want to

1083
00:42:26,480 --> 00:42:30,640
Speaker 8: like say, narcissists, but very self absorbed people create humans.

1084
00:42:31,040 --> 00:42:32,600
Speaker 8: It causes a lot of disruption.

1085
00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:35,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, you might want to leave that part out

1086
00:42:35,640 --> 00:42:38,000
Speaker 3: of the letter, but I get it.

1087
00:42:39,040 --> 00:42:39,680
Speaker 1: I get it.

1088
00:42:39,760 --> 00:42:42,200
Speaker 3: I'm like, which is but what's better? One narcissist is

1089
00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:44,279
Speaker 3: a parent, or two I don't know.

1090
00:42:46,480 --> 00:42:49,640
Speaker 1: Each other. So it's like, shit, No, I think you

1091
00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:52,040
Speaker 1: can write it in your very sweet way that you are.

1092
00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:53,800
Speaker 3: You can tell that, I can tell the house what

1093
00:42:53,960 --> 00:42:56,239
Speaker 3: you are and and just be honest and that's it.

1094
00:42:56,280 --> 00:42:57,680
Speaker 1: You don't owe him anything.

1095
00:42:57,719 --> 00:43:00,440
Speaker 6: And I think it sounds like you have too already,

1096
00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:02,440
Speaker 6: like you've had a little bit of this conversation with him,

1097
00:43:02,480 --> 00:43:03,760
Speaker 6: right Yeah.

1098
00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:05,839
Speaker 8: Yeah, I kind of shut it down now because I'm

1099
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:08,840
Speaker 8: very emotional when I speak, wellieven things, and I just

1100
00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:10,280
Speaker 8: didn't want that to come across.

1101
00:43:11,120 --> 00:43:13,280
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, And so a letter's perfect.

1102
00:43:13,320 --> 00:43:15,279
Speaker 3: So write a letter and just say it all and

1103
00:43:15,440 --> 00:43:17,360
Speaker 3: you don't have to see see your girl, your sisters

1104
00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:18,759
Speaker 3: or do whatever you.

1105
00:43:18,719 --> 00:43:19,279
Speaker 1: Think is right.

1106
00:43:19,600 --> 00:43:22,759
Speaker 6: Well, because this is about you. They can handle themselves,

1107
00:43:22,800 --> 00:43:25,600
Speaker 6: and this is really your relationship with your dad and

1108
00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:27,719
Speaker 6: what you feel right now, not about them.

1109
00:43:28,200 --> 00:43:28,279
Speaker 7: Now.

1110
00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:31,080
Speaker 4: Sure does the girlfriend have like adult kids or anything

1111
00:43:31,239 --> 00:43:32,200
Speaker 4: or family nearby?

1112
00:43:33,080 --> 00:43:38,160
Speaker 8: She unfortunately has lost both of her kids.

1113
00:43:36,480 --> 00:43:40,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, Oh they've died.

1114
00:43:40,760 --> 00:43:42,920
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's a lot of loss.

1115
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:45,959
Speaker 8: Well, it's a lot of trauma, Bondie and I feel

1116
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:47,880
Speaker 8: in that in that relationship.

1117
00:43:47,360 --> 00:43:50,320
Speaker 6: And you know that's very common. Actually, it's very common

1118
00:43:50,320 --> 00:43:51,600
Speaker 6: in a lot of relationships.

1119
00:43:51,640 --> 00:43:54,239
Speaker 1: So and are just so disappointing. It's like you should

1120
00:43:54,280 --> 00:43:58,239
Speaker 1: be alone for a year. I really Can's so pathetic.

1121
00:43:58,400 --> 00:43:59,320
Speaker 6: No, they can't.

1122
00:44:01,560 --> 00:44:04,080
Speaker 3: And I'm so glad you have somewhere else wonderful to

1123
00:44:04,120 --> 00:44:06,600
Speaker 3: go for the holidays with your husband or your boyfriend

1124
00:44:06,680 --> 00:44:07,440
Speaker 3: and his family.

1125
00:44:07,960 --> 00:44:10,279
Speaker 1: That's awesome, Like, thankfully you have something you.

1126
00:44:10,239 --> 00:44:12,239
Speaker 6: Have that you Yeah, you have kids, don't you. You

1127
00:44:12,239 --> 00:44:13,160
Speaker 6: said you had kids.

1128
00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:16,279
Speaker 8: Yes, yeah, So just trying to keep it special for them.

1129
00:44:16,200 --> 00:44:18,879
Speaker 6: I guess absolutely put all your energy into those I'm

1130
00:44:18,880 --> 00:44:21,360
Speaker 6: telling you, that's where that's where you put your energy, babe.

1131
00:44:21,920 --> 00:44:24,280
Speaker 4: One thing you could do sort of to honor her

1132
00:44:24,920 --> 00:44:27,040
Speaker 4: would be, you know, if there was a special tradition

1133
00:44:27,160 --> 00:44:29,279
Speaker 4: that she loved to do, or a special dish she

1134
00:44:29,360 --> 00:44:32,120
Speaker 4: loved to make. You could make that and bring it

1135
00:44:32,160 --> 00:44:36,799
Speaker 4: to your husband's holiday party. And I think if that

1136
00:44:36,880 --> 00:44:39,920
Speaker 4: doesn't feel right, another option is to just do something

1137
00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:44,160
Speaker 4: that feels completely unlike anything you've done before. For example,

1138
00:44:44,200 --> 00:44:47,520
Speaker 4: a friend of mine after her divorce, for Mother's Day,

1139
00:44:47,719 --> 00:44:50,080
Speaker 4: you know, instead of doing the thing at home with

1140
00:44:50,120 --> 00:44:52,239
Speaker 4: the gifts and the breakfast and all of that, she

1141
00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:54,960
Speaker 4: took her kids to six Flags and you know, they

1142
00:44:55,080 --> 00:44:57,359
Speaker 4: just ride roller coasters together and like, have a great

1143
00:44:57,400 --> 00:45:01,200
Speaker 4: time and eat your ros. So yeah, I think there

1144
00:45:01,239 --> 00:45:02,759
Speaker 4: are a couple of ways you can honor your mom

1145
00:45:02,880 --> 00:45:05,360
Speaker 4: and make sure you carve out a special moment from.

1146
00:45:05,200 --> 00:45:06,960
Speaker 6: Do you normally go to your parents' house?

1147
00:45:07,960 --> 00:45:11,200
Speaker 8: To my grandparents, but my grandma's really pushing my dad

1148
00:45:11,280 --> 00:45:12,680
Speaker 8: doing it with his new partner.

1149
00:45:12,920 --> 00:45:17,440
Speaker 3: So yeah, do your grandparents understand where you're coming from?

1150
00:45:17,480 --> 00:45:18,760
Speaker 8: No old school?

1151
00:45:19,280 --> 00:45:20,800
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1152
00:45:20,200 --> 00:45:22,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, Well, I just don't know how you could say

1153
00:45:22,640 --> 00:45:25,560
Speaker 3: anything like that and have anybody like keep going with

1154
00:45:25,600 --> 00:45:26,160
Speaker 3: an argument.

1155
00:45:26,239 --> 00:45:27,680
Speaker 1: I would be like, I got it, you got it.

1156
00:45:27,800 --> 00:45:29,839
Speaker 6: Yeah, You're coming from such an honest place you can

1157
00:45:29,880 --> 00:45:31,440
Speaker 6: you can hear it and see it in your face.

1158
00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:34,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think if you're just honest with him,

1159
00:45:34,800 --> 00:45:37,279
Speaker 4: this hurts too much at this point. But I love

1160
00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:41,080
Speaker 4: you all the good things and give your kids and

1161
00:45:41,080 --> 00:45:42,399
Speaker 4: your husband an extra squeeze too.

1162
00:45:42,520 --> 00:45:46,560
Speaker 6: Well. Look at next year, maybe we'll see yeah yeah right,

1163
00:45:46,760 --> 00:45:49,120
Speaker 6: I mean there's always next to your dad maybe.

1164
00:45:51,040 --> 00:45:51,239
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1165
00:45:51,760 --> 00:45:52,440
Speaker 7: Yeah.

1166
00:45:52,480 --> 00:45:53,919
Speaker 8: Well, thank you ladies, so much.

1167
00:45:54,040 --> 00:45:56,200
Speaker 1: Is so great, nice to meet.

1168
00:45:56,719 --> 00:46:00,000
Speaker 6: Lots of love, sweetheart, lots of love, Thank you.

1169
00:46:00,320 --> 00:46:00,640
Speaker 5: Bye.

1170
00:46:01,880 --> 00:46:05,560
Speaker 3: I remember when my mom passed away my father. I

1171
00:46:05,560 --> 00:46:08,239
Speaker 3: wrote this story one of my books. My brother Roy

1172
00:46:08,360 --> 00:46:10,960
Speaker 3: was at my dad's house. He walked in and his

1173
00:46:11,200 --> 00:46:15,040
Speaker 3: housekeeper was in the kitchen naked, cleaning with no pants

1174
00:46:15,120 --> 00:46:17,040
Speaker 3: or top on, and my father was on the couch

1175
00:46:17,200 --> 00:46:19,399
Speaker 3: watching in his box or shorts. This was a week

1176
00:46:19,440 --> 00:46:23,040
Speaker 3: after my mother's funeral, and Roy sent our whole brother

1177
00:46:23,120 --> 00:46:25,759
Speaker 3: and sister thread and texts being like, I have an

1178
00:46:25,840 --> 00:46:28,400
Speaker 3: update for everybody who's.

1179
00:46:28,160 --> 00:46:29,480
Speaker 1: Wondering what dad's been up to.

1180
00:46:30,080 --> 00:46:34,040
Speaker 6: This is it, And we were like, oh my god,

1181
00:46:34,640 --> 00:46:35,280
Speaker 6: men are funny.

1182
00:46:35,680 --> 00:46:37,520
Speaker 1: Something is wrong with everyone.

1183
00:46:37,920 --> 00:46:39,880
Speaker 6: Men are funny. I have a very good friend. You

1184
00:46:39,960 --> 00:46:43,200
Speaker 6: found out his dad has been spending their life savings

1185
00:46:43,239 --> 00:46:46,680
Speaker 6: going to those massage places every day. Oh my major

1186
00:46:46,719 --> 00:46:48,200
Speaker 6: bills when his wife was at home.

1187
00:46:48,280 --> 00:46:49,920
Speaker 1: How many massages can you get in.

1188
00:46:49,840 --> 00:46:51,680
Speaker 6: When I think he was doing like four a as.

1189
00:46:51,800 --> 00:46:54,359
Speaker 1: Oh wow, I didn't even know that was not.

1190
00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:55,160
Speaker 6: A spring chicken.

1191
00:46:55,239 --> 00:46:56,040
Speaker 2: That's your retirement.

1192
00:46:56,120 --> 00:46:58,760
Speaker 1: Fine, but well I think all the money like gone.

1193
00:46:58,840 --> 00:47:01,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, because at a certain age, men probably can't perform right,

1194
00:47:01,400 --> 00:47:02,800
Speaker 3: so they'd rather just watch a woman.

1195
00:47:03,239 --> 00:47:04,239
Speaker 1: I don't know.

1196
00:47:06,280 --> 00:47:08,080
Speaker 3: Okay, we'll take a quick break and then we'll come

1197
00:47:08,080 --> 00:47:10,400
Speaker 3: back and wrap it up with Tiffany Theson.

1198
00:47:14,560 --> 00:47:17,600
Speaker 1: Ed We're back. We're back, Catherine.

1199
00:47:17,200 --> 00:47:20,720
Speaker 2: We are back. Well, our last caller today all callers

1200
00:47:20,719 --> 00:47:22,280
Speaker 2: today is Rob.

1201
00:47:22,520 --> 00:47:25,239
Speaker 4: He's finally not a Kylie and he is in New

1202
00:47:25,360 --> 00:47:27,560
Speaker 4: York City and he's got a bit of a career

1203
00:47:27,680 --> 00:47:28,920
Speaker 4: transition questions.

1204
00:47:29,040 --> 00:47:30,600
Speaker 2: I thought both of you would be great to help

1205
00:47:30,600 --> 00:47:31,040
Speaker 2: answer that.

1206
00:47:32,280 --> 00:47:34,680
Speaker 4: Dear Chelsea, first off, I have to tell you how

1207
00:47:34,760 --> 00:47:36,960
Speaker 4: much I love and appreciate the podcast. I listen to

1208
00:47:37,040 --> 00:47:39,000
Speaker 4: every single episode and feel like I learn a little

1209
00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:42,560
Speaker 4: bit more about myself with each story that's shared. Recently,

1210
00:47:42,600 --> 00:47:44,799
Speaker 4: I've been feeling super trapped in life and in my

1211
00:47:44,880 --> 00:47:45,680
Speaker 4: career choice.

1212
00:47:45,760 --> 00:47:48,360
Speaker 2: I'm a hairstylist and have just never been super passionate

1213
00:47:48,360 --> 00:47:49,920
Speaker 2: about it. I thought I would be.

1214
00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:51,719
Speaker 4: I thought it would be a super easy job and

1215
00:47:51,760 --> 00:47:53,839
Speaker 4: the money would just roll in, but it's fucking hard

1216
00:47:53,880 --> 00:47:57,360
Speaker 4: and people are exhausting. I have been brainstorming for years

1217
00:47:57,360 --> 00:47:58,919
Speaker 4: on what to do with my life, and I haven't

1218
00:47:58,960 --> 00:48:01,279
Speaker 4: really figured out what would make me happy. I even

1219
00:48:01,320 --> 00:48:03,799
Speaker 4: tried college three times and have no degree to show

1220
00:48:03,800 --> 00:48:07,320
Speaker 4: for it. As a child, I dreamed of being a writer,

1221
00:48:07,719 --> 00:48:09,680
Speaker 4: but never had the confidence to just go for it.

1222
00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:11,640
Speaker 4: I never thought that people would want to hear what

1223
00:48:11,680 --> 00:48:13,600
Speaker 4: I have to say, and I've felt for a long

1224
00:48:13,640 --> 00:48:15,719
Speaker 4: time that most of my clients come to me to

1225
00:48:15,760 --> 00:48:18,120
Speaker 4: hear stories about my hot mess of a dating life.

1226
00:48:18,480 --> 00:48:20,600
Speaker 4: I also feel like I have a pretty wild imagination,

1227
00:48:20,800 --> 00:48:23,400
Speaker 4: so why not write a book about my shenanigans. I

1228
00:48:23,440 --> 00:48:25,920
Speaker 4: find that sometimes I'm super confident in this becoming a

1229
00:48:25,960 --> 00:48:27,920
Speaker 4: great book that will give people a laugh, and then

1230
00:48:27,920 --> 00:48:29,760
Speaker 4: I go to a negative place and think my writing

1231
00:48:29,800 --> 00:48:31,680
Speaker 4: is shit and no one will care that I'm not

1232
00:48:31,719 --> 00:48:34,040
Speaker 4: smart enough to write any advice on how to get

1233
00:48:34,080 --> 00:48:36,319
Speaker 4: past this. I dream that one day I'll be done

1234
00:48:36,360 --> 00:48:37,719
Speaker 4: and I'll be a guest on your show and not

1235
00:48:37,800 --> 00:48:39,800
Speaker 4: just asking for advice, just trying to manifest.

1236
00:48:39,800 --> 00:48:42,120
Speaker 2: Here Rob and He's going to join.

1237
00:48:43,280 --> 00:48:46,759
Speaker 6: Hi, Rob, I'm good.

1238
00:48:46,800 --> 00:48:48,080
Speaker 4: How are you? Hi?

1239
00:48:48,160 --> 00:48:48,680
Speaker 6: God?

1240
00:48:48,719 --> 00:48:52,080
Speaker 9: Oh my god, it's hi.

1241
00:48:53,440 --> 00:48:56,200
Speaker 4: I have a thought a little bit about thinking of

1242
00:48:56,239 --> 00:48:57,880
Speaker 4: it as like I have to write a book or

1243
00:48:57,880 --> 00:49:00,840
Speaker 4: I have to like have a compendium of all my experiences.

1244
00:49:00,880 --> 00:49:02,760
Speaker 4: And I wonder if there is like a smaller piece

1245
00:49:02,760 --> 00:49:05,200
Speaker 4: that you can break this down into, whether it's like

1246
00:49:05,280 --> 00:49:07,399
Speaker 4: I'm going to write an essay about this funny thing

1247
00:49:07,400 --> 00:49:10,320
Speaker 4: that happened, or like I'm going to do a TikTok

1248
00:49:10,400 --> 00:49:12,680
Speaker 4: like I don't know, funny dating stories like that feels

1249
00:49:12,680 --> 00:49:15,480
Speaker 4: TikTok to me, and like doing something that feels a

1250
00:49:15,560 --> 00:49:18,560
Speaker 4: little more manageable and a little bit easier, and or

1251
00:49:18,600 --> 00:49:21,160
Speaker 4: a blog like soon enough you'll have several things that

1252
00:49:21,200 --> 00:49:22,400
Speaker 4: like maybe could become a book.

1253
00:49:22,760 --> 00:49:25,240
Speaker 6: Have you actually started writing it all? Because it sounded

1254
00:49:25,280 --> 00:49:26,000
Speaker 6: like you started.

1255
00:49:26,360 --> 00:49:30,319
Speaker 9: Oh okay, Yes, I've started writing. I had about like

1256
00:49:30,360 --> 00:49:34,160
Speaker 9: a good hundred pages going on. Wow, I've been on

1257
00:49:34,200 --> 00:49:34,400
Speaker 9: the go.

1258
00:49:34,840 --> 00:49:35,520
Speaker 6: Well that's good.

1259
00:49:35,760 --> 00:49:38,120
Speaker 9: I just get too much in my head sometimes and

1260
00:49:39,239 --> 00:49:42,040
Speaker 9: then I don't even know who could read this for

1261
00:49:42,200 --> 00:49:44,399
Speaker 9: me to give me a little bit more advice, or

1262
00:49:44,880 --> 00:49:46,960
Speaker 9: if I wanted to publish it someday, how would I

1263
00:49:46,960 --> 00:49:47,920
Speaker 9: even go about that.

1264
00:49:48,520 --> 00:49:50,440
Speaker 6: But why would you, in my opinion, why think of

1265
00:49:50,440 --> 00:49:51,000
Speaker 6: that right now?

1266
00:49:51,440 --> 00:49:54,239
Speaker 9: Exactly? I know I'm like thinking like ways.

1267
00:49:53,920 --> 00:49:56,359
Speaker 6: So far right, Like I think what she was kind

1268
00:49:56,360 --> 00:49:59,320
Speaker 6: of saying, Catherine is saying, like, maybe take it smaller,

1269
00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:02,200
Speaker 6: take it, take it a little bit smaller. Instead of

1270
00:50:02,200 --> 00:50:04,640
Speaker 6: looking at like who knows how far in the future,

1271
00:50:05,320 --> 00:50:07,399
Speaker 6: take it where you are right now and say let's

1272
00:50:07,400 --> 00:50:10,560
Speaker 6: finish this chapter or this many pages or whatever. You know.

1273
00:50:11,239 --> 00:50:13,520
Speaker 6: Sometimes buying off something you can chew a little bit

1274
00:50:13,560 --> 00:50:16,320
Speaker 6: easier than like a huge meal or a huge banquet

1275
00:50:16,440 --> 00:50:17,280
Speaker 6: is a lot easier.

1276
00:50:17,960 --> 00:50:20,120
Speaker 9: I try to give myself like I say, oh, I'm

1277
00:50:20,120 --> 00:50:21,640
Speaker 9: going to get up in the morning, and maybe I'll

1278
00:50:21,719 --> 00:50:24,160
Speaker 9: sit for like a half hour, for an hour, and

1279
00:50:24,200 --> 00:50:27,440
Speaker 9: then if I go past that rate, and if I don't,

1280
00:50:27,480 --> 00:50:29,279
Speaker 9: it's okay. We could put it down for a little

1281
00:50:29,280 --> 00:50:30,200
Speaker 9: bit and just step away.

1282
00:50:30,600 --> 00:50:33,160
Speaker 3: You should pick up this book called Daily Rituals. It's

1283
00:50:33,160 --> 00:50:36,600
Speaker 3: about all these artists and philosophers and like painters and

1284
00:50:36,840 --> 00:50:40,000
Speaker 3: writers basically like what their work ethic is and like

1285
00:50:40,040 --> 00:50:43,480
Speaker 3: what their hours of productivity are. And you'll see a

1286
00:50:43,600 --> 00:50:45,680
Speaker 3: very common theme, which is, like, you know, first thing

1287
00:50:45,680 --> 00:50:47,400
Speaker 3: in the morning, I know this is true for myself

1288
00:50:47,560 --> 00:50:49,600
Speaker 3: when I write, and I'm writing a book right now too,

1289
00:50:50,040 --> 00:50:52,600
Speaker 3: and it's completely overwhelming, and I know where it's going

1290
00:50:52,640 --> 00:50:54,200
Speaker 3: and I know when it's going to be published, and

1291
00:50:54,840 --> 00:50:58,759
Speaker 3: everything that has that you're talking about, you know, is

1292
00:50:58,880 --> 00:51:01,720
Speaker 3: still applic bol to anyone who even has a plan.

1293
00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:04,640
Speaker 3: So like, you do have to take it one day

1294
00:51:04,680 --> 00:51:06,960
Speaker 3: at a time. But what's cool about this book is

1295
00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:09,080
Speaker 3: it says like the early morning hours are your most

1296
00:51:09,280 --> 00:51:11,200
Speaker 3: you know, where you're the most clear of mind and

1297
00:51:11,239 --> 00:51:13,960
Speaker 3: you have the most hours of productivity. And then a

1298
00:51:13,960 --> 00:51:15,879
Speaker 3: lot of people take breaks in the afternoon and then

1299
00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:18,960
Speaker 3: let's do something physical, or many of them just start

1300
00:51:19,040 --> 00:51:22,000
Speaker 3: drinking and then then they come back to like an.

1301
00:51:21,920 --> 00:51:24,640
Speaker 1: Afternoon session and do that.

1302
00:51:24,680 --> 00:51:26,879
Speaker 3: But I know for me, like I write, I write

1303
00:51:26,920 --> 00:51:29,160
Speaker 3: an hour, two hours, sometimes three hours if I'm really

1304
00:51:29,200 --> 00:51:32,399
Speaker 3: really feeling it in the morning, and you know, you're

1305
00:51:32,520 --> 00:51:34,800
Speaker 3: you're coming back and you're editing and you're losing stuff

1306
00:51:34,840 --> 00:51:37,040
Speaker 3: and you're adding stuff all the time. That is the

1307
00:51:37,040 --> 00:51:39,799
Speaker 3: process of writing. So it's not important that what you

1308
00:51:39,840 --> 00:51:43,320
Speaker 3: write is perfect. It's like, Okay, sometimes I take fragments

1309
00:51:43,320 --> 00:51:45,479
Speaker 3: of a sentence and put it in a completely different

1310
00:51:45,560 --> 00:51:48,120
Speaker 3: chapter because I'm like, wait, this is, this is applies

1311
00:51:48,160 --> 00:51:52,520
Speaker 3: to that. And so it's constantly reorganizing, constantly editing, and

1312
00:51:53,000 --> 00:51:55,520
Speaker 3: you have to get into that rhythm where you're just

1313
00:51:55,600 --> 00:51:57,520
Speaker 3: doing it all the time, Like you have to give

1314
00:51:57,560 --> 00:51:59,799
Speaker 3: yourself one hour every morning. Let's make it one hour,

1315
00:52:00,120 --> 00:52:02,239
Speaker 3: a half hour, one hour every morning. And if you

1316
00:52:02,239 --> 00:52:04,839
Speaker 3: go beyond that, great, But then you're on, like you know,

1317
00:52:04,960 --> 00:52:07,560
Speaker 3: then you start to feel like you have a pattern

1318
00:52:07,680 --> 00:52:09,880
Speaker 3: and you have kind of almost a system in place,

1319
00:52:10,400 --> 00:52:13,719
Speaker 3: so because that will breed more and more creativity.

1320
00:52:13,719 --> 00:52:16,000
Speaker 1: And the more you write, the more you write, you know.

1321
00:52:16,000 --> 00:52:17,520
Speaker 3: What I mean, The more you sit down and say

1322
00:52:17,560 --> 00:52:18,960
Speaker 3: I have to write, the more you're just going to

1323
00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:21,000
Speaker 3: start writing it. Some of it may be crap, and

1324
00:52:21,040 --> 00:52:23,160
Speaker 3: some of it you may throughout the window, but there's

1325
00:52:23,160 --> 00:52:25,520
Speaker 3: gonna be slivers of greatness in there, like we all

1326
00:52:25,560 --> 00:52:28,560
Speaker 3: have important things to say, and you don't have to

1327
00:52:28,560 --> 00:52:30,479
Speaker 3: worry about anyone seeing it until you're out a place

1328
00:52:30,480 --> 00:52:32,480
Speaker 3: where you think this is ready to show another person.

1329
00:52:32,680 --> 00:52:34,600
Speaker 3: And it's usually not when you think it is.

1330
00:52:35,360 --> 00:52:36,440
Speaker 1: I know from experience.

1331
00:52:36,560 --> 00:52:39,280
Speaker 3: I send in chapters way too early then, and I'm like, wait,

1332
00:52:39,320 --> 00:52:40,359
Speaker 3: I'm not even done with those.

1333
00:52:40,400 --> 00:52:42,880
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to show them I'm doing something. So

1334
00:52:43,120 --> 00:52:45,279
Speaker 1: the longer you can have without anyone looking at it,

1335
00:52:45,320 --> 00:52:46,760
Speaker 1: the better off it's going to be. Anyway.

1336
00:52:47,200 --> 00:52:51,359
Speaker 9: Yeah, I figured I shouldn't always be looking for other

1337
00:52:51,440 --> 00:52:54,200
Speaker 9: people's feedback to validate myself.

1338
00:52:54,480 --> 00:52:56,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, so take the pressure off, and also just write

1339
00:52:56,640 --> 00:52:58,319
Speaker 3: a list of the way you want to be every day,

1340
00:52:58,400 --> 00:53:00,839
Speaker 3: like you right, say, every day, I right from you know,

1341
00:53:00,960 --> 00:53:03,640
Speaker 3: nine to ten or whatever your hour is after that.

1342
00:53:03,760 --> 00:53:05,160
Speaker 3: You know, you don't have to make a whole list

1343
00:53:05,160 --> 00:53:06,880
Speaker 3: of things. But like, however, you're going to fit your

1344
00:53:06,880 --> 00:53:09,319
Speaker 3: writing in throughout the day. You know, I'm always writing

1345
00:53:09,360 --> 00:53:10,919
Speaker 3: notes in my note section and then I go through

1346
00:53:10,960 --> 00:53:13,280
Speaker 3: that and I implement them into the chapters and stuff.

1347
00:53:13,520 --> 00:53:17,279
Speaker 3: But don't start worrying about shit that doesn't apply to

1348
00:53:17,320 --> 00:53:19,719
Speaker 3: your situation. It's just a waste of your energy and

1349
00:53:19,760 --> 00:53:20,560
Speaker 3: a waste of your.

1350
00:53:20,400 --> 00:53:22,320
Speaker 6: Time, and that energy you can put into your writing.

1351
00:53:22,400 --> 00:53:24,439
Speaker 3: And every time you yeah, every time you do start

1352
00:53:24,440 --> 00:53:26,680
Speaker 3: worrying about it, go back to writing. Anytime you're like,

1353
00:53:26,719 --> 00:53:27,920
Speaker 3: who am I going to show this to you? How

1354
00:53:27,960 --> 00:53:29,319
Speaker 3: am I going to get this sold? Just go back

1355
00:53:29,360 --> 00:53:31,279
Speaker 3: to writing. Go and be like, oh, I have to

1356
00:53:31,280 --> 00:53:33,920
Speaker 3: go right now for forty minutes for letting those thoughts you.

1357
00:53:33,960 --> 00:53:35,239
Speaker 1: Know, control me.

1358
00:53:35,960 --> 00:53:38,960
Speaker 3: Punishment, you know, like it's a good way to just

1359
00:53:39,000 --> 00:53:41,000
Speaker 3: like get back in the game. And the more productive

1360
00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:42,680
Speaker 3: you are, the better and more confident you're going to

1361
00:53:42,719 --> 00:53:46,080
Speaker 3: feel about it as time goes on. So just consistency

1362
00:53:46,120 --> 00:53:47,359
Speaker 3: is key with anything like this.

1363
00:53:47,680 --> 00:53:50,520
Speaker 9: Yeah, yeah, I just have to be more disciplined without

1364
00:53:50,719 --> 00:53:51,799
Speaker 9: beating myself.

1365
00:53:51,520 --> 00:53:51,800
Speaker 6: Up with that.

1366
00:53:52,080 --> 00:53:54,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, then then use this call as your wake up

1367
00:53:54,200 --> 00:53:55,480
Speaker 3: call to become more disciplined.

1368
00:53:56,000 --> 00:53:56,960
Speaker 9: Yeah, I won't.

1369
00:53:57,160 --> 00:53:57,920
Speaker 1: I write a.

1370
00:53:57,840 --> 00:54:00,000
Speaker 3: Big like put a piece of paper next to your desk,

1371
00:54:00,120 --> 00:54:03,200
Speaker 3: next to your computer that says Chelsea and Tiffany say

1372
00:54:03,640 --> 00:54:05,200
Speaker 3: these and then the following things.

1373
00:54:05,280 --> 00:54:06,839
Speaker 1: Every morning I write for one hour.

1374
00:54:07,000 --> 00:54:09,319
Speaker 3: Yeah, put your phone down, put the alarm on so

1375
00:54:09,440 --> 00:54:10,840
Speaker 3: you know when an hour's up, and you are not

1376
00:54:10,840 --> 00:54:12,799
Speaker 3: allowed to look at your phone.

1377
00:54:12,239 --> 00:54:14,680
Speaker 6: Absolutely. Yeah, it's the worst.

1378
00:54:14,800 --> 00:54:14,960
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1379
00:54:15,000 --> 00:54:16,800
Speaker 9: I would like to leave my phone in my bedroom

1380
00:54:16,880 --> 00:54:18,439
Speaker 9: or something. I'll like throw it to the side.

1381
00:54:18,480 --> 00:54:19,400
Speaker 7: That's yeah.

1382
00:54:19,520 --> 00:54:21,520
Speaker 9: And I live alone, so it's a lot easier to

1383
00:54:21,760 --> 00:54:22,919
Speaker 9: have quiet time.

1384
00:54:23,160 --> 00:54:26,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, for suah, And then give you yourself a reward.

1385
00:54:26,360 --> 00:54:28,880
Speaker 3: You can go masturbate or go take a walk whatever.

1386
00:54:31,719 --> 00:54:33,680
Speaker 3: I always masturbate after I write.

1387
00:54:34,640 --> 00:54:40,799
Speaker 9: That's not a bad idea. Actually, I recently felt like

1388
00:54:40,880 --> 00:54:44,320
Speaker 9: I was abusing smoking a little too much, so I've

1389
00:54:44,440 --> 00:54:46,400
Speaker 9: given it up. It's probably been about three weeks now,

1390
00:54:46,400 --> 00:54:49,120
Speaker 9: and I definitely feel like I'm thinking clearer.

1391
00:54:49,840 --> 00:54:53,000
Speaker 3: Yeah for sure, good for you. Yeah, don't fucking smoke.

1392
00:54:53,200 --> 00:54:56,080
Speaker 3: I am terrible everyone. A couple of months, I'm like,

1393
00:54:56,120 --> 00:54:57,840
Speaker 3: I could have a cigarette, and then I'm like, no,

1394
00:54:57,960 --> 00:54:58,440
Speaker 3: I can't.

1395
00:54:58,920 --> 00:55:00,839
Speaker 1: Why can I have a sing cigarette? Oh?

1396
00:55:00,840 --> 00:55:01,000
Speaker 4: Oh?

1397
00:55:01,040 --> 00:55:04,799
Speaker 3: Smoking weed? Oh yeah, no, that'll fuck your mind up too. Yeah, yeah,

1398
00:55:04,840 --> 00:55:07,080
Speaker 3: I can't. I can't write when i'm smoking weed. Only

1399
00:55:07,080 --> 00:55:10,160
Speaker 3: when i'm polishing. Then I can go when something's almost done.

1400
00:55:10,360 --> 00:55:11,400
Speaker 3: Then I go back and I'm.

1401
00:55:11,480 --> 00:55:12,280
Speaker 6: Use it as a polisher.

1402
00:55:12,320 --> 00:55:14,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, I use it as like to, you know, put

1403
00:55:14,080 --> 00:55:15,200
Speaker 1: in some more humor.

1404
00:55:17,880 --> 00:55:20,040
Speaker 6: You And then when it does get published, I would

1405
00:55:20,080 --> 00:55:21,840
Speaker 6: like to have a little bit of a you know,

1406
00:55:21,960 --> 00:55:27,160
Speaker 6: little blurb, ledge, just a little just a sign, tiny

1407
00:55:27,239 --> 00:55:29,160
Speaker 6: little one okay or.

1408
00:55:29,360 --> 00:55:32,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, or our names can be in the title. You decide.

1409
00:55:35,400 --> 00:55:37,640
Speaker 2: Awesome things wrong, good luck?

1410
00:55:40,120 --> 00:55:40,400
Speaker 1: Okay.

1411
00:55:40,400 --> 00:55:43,400
Speaker 3: So anybody you can pick up Tiffany's new cookbook, She

1412
00:55:43,800 --> 00:55:46,600
Speaker 3: Don't Forget. She's the host of MTV's deliciousness, and you

1413
00:55:46,640 --> 00:55:49,600
Speaker 3: could pick up her newest cookbook which is called Here

1414
00:55:49,640 --> 00:55:54,920
Speaker 3: We Go Again, Recipes and Inspiration to level up your leftovers,

1415
00:55:54,960 --> 00:55:57,480
Speaker 3: and her previous cookbook is called Pull Up a Chair,

1416
00:55:57,520 --> 00:55:59,800
Speaker 3: so you can get both both holiday gifts.

1417
00:56:00,080 --> 00:56:05,080
Speaker 1: Yea, thank you, Tiffany, thank you. Oh yeah, thank you.

1418
00:56:06,560 --> 00:56:09,000
Speaker 2: Chelsea. Do you have some new dates for us?

1419
00:56:09,239 --> 00:56:09,479
Speaker 4: Oh?

1420
00:56:09,560 --> 00:56:10,239
Speaker 1: You know, I do?

1421
00:56:10,600 --> 00:56:10,880
Speaker 3: You know?

1422
00:56:11,000 --> 00:56:11,359
Speaker 4: I do?

1423
00:56:11,680 --> 00:56:14,239
Speaker 1: I have a lot of We added lots of.

1424
00:56:14,200 --> 00:56:17,200
Speaker 3: Canadian cities, Canadians, I'm coming.

1425
00:56:18,320 --> 00:56:22,720
Speaker 1: We added about fifteen new tour dates.

1426
00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:28,200
Speaker 3: I'm coming to Denver again, Salt Lake City, Vancouver, Richmond, Virginia,

1427
00:56:28,360 --> 00:56:33,520
Speaker 3: Santa Rosa, California, Gary and Diana, Baltimore, Rowna, New York

1428
00:56:34,200 --> 00:56:38,600
Speaker 3: and about seven dates in Canada. So go to Chelseahandler

1429
00:56:38,640 --> 00:56:41,480
Speaker 3: dot com. I am performing everywhere. I will be on

1430
00:56:41,560 --> 00:56:44,719
Speaker 3: tour all for the rest of the year through December,

1431
00:56:45,320 --> 00:56:47,479
Speaker 3: and then next year I'm going to be touring all year.

1432
00:56:48,280 --> 00:56:49,920
Speaker 1: So come and get it, you guys.

1433
00:56:50,080 --> 00:56:53,360
Speaker 3: It's good times and it's a very much needed reprieve

1434
00:56:53,400 --> 00:56:55,720
Speaker 3: from all the fucking madness that's going on in this world.

1435
00:56:57,040 --> 00:56:59,440
Speaker 1: So I'm here to bring joy and sunshine.

1436
00:57:00,040 --> 00:57:02,360
Speaker 4: If you'd like advice from Chelsea. Shoot us an email

1437
00:57:02,400 --> 00:57:05,239
Speaker 4: at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be

1438
00:57:05,280 --> 00:57:08,320
Speaker 4: sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited

1439
00:57:08,320 --> 00:57:11,960
Speaker 4: and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law and

1440
00:57:12,040 --> 00:57:14,480
Speaker 4: be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot

1441
00:57:14,480 --> 00:57:17,280
Speaker 4: com