Speaker 1: Episode four seventy two, how to Buy what you Love
Speaker 1: without going broke in twenty twenty five.
Speaker 2: Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast, where you'll learn to
Speaker 2: save money, embrace simplicity, and live at your life. Here
Speaker 2: your hosts Jen and Jill.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast. My name is Jent,
Speaker 1: my name is Jill, and today we are talking about
Speaker 1: essentially the topic of our book, How to Buy what
Speaker 1: You Love Without Going Broke, and we are telling you
Speaker 1: what it's about, but it's not going to be about
Speaker 1: the book. We truly want you to leave this episode
Speaker 1: with an idea of what you need to do in
Speaker 1: twenty twenty five to feel like you the things you
Speaker 1: are buying are the things you love, and that you
Speaker 1: have an idea of what you love that does not
Speaker 1: cause you to then go broke as a result.
Speaker 3: It's that concept of how we truly can get after
Speaker 3: the things that we need and want and while being
Speaker 3: stewarding our money and all of our resources well in
Speaker 3: the process and.
Speaker 1: Really turn the ideas idea of needs and wants on
Speaker 1: their head.
Speaker 3: We will definitely do that today, but first, this episode
Speaker 3: is brought to you by No Regrets, No regrets despite
Speaker 3: what's been thrown at you this past year, whether it
Speaker 3: be unexpected bills, health scares, maybe two back to back hurricanes,
Speaker 3: that you were able to enter into a new year
Speaker 3: with no regrets. Sound like too tall of an order.
Speaker 3: We've got a solution for you, and it's called By
Speaker 3: What You Love Without Going Broke. Our new book you
Speaker 3: Know It, You guessed It. It is still available for
Speaker 3: pre order and will help you, in this book live
Speaker 3: with at least no financial regrets and even refrain some
Speaker 3: of the previous money decisions you've made that maybe you
Speaker 3: don't feel great about. It. Truly is the perfect thing
Speaker 3: to purchase this January. We believe going to be one
Speaker 3: of the most helpful resources for you in twenty twenty five.
Speaker 3: Can really help to shift some of the thinking that
Speaker 3: we have around our money and then the actions that
Speaker 3: we take around our money in some really beneficial ways.
Speaker 3: So let's have no regrets by what you lovebook dot com.
Speaker 1: Yes, and we're also doing for everyone who pre orders
Speaker 1: over the next week, We're doing a free class on
Speaker 1: how to make a one year spending plan so you
Speaker 1: can spend out your You can plan out your spending
Speaker 1: over the year but in a way that still leaves
Speaker 1: room for flexibility, naeity, impulsivity, all those things that we
Speaker 1: do not think are bad things in your spending. So
Speaker 1: buy what you love book dot com, and let's talk
Speaker 1: about how do you buy what you love without going bro.
Speaker 1: So for us, we've broken it down into three parts.
Speaker 1: The first part is to figure out what you love.
Speaker 1: The second part is to figure out what you don't love,
Speaker 1: but maybe outside forces like marketing are trying to tell
Speaker 1: you that that's what you love and deserve. And then
Speaker 1: the third part is how, once we know parts one
Speaker 1: and two, how do we live that out? And how
Speaker 1: do we live it out sustainably? How do we take
Speaker 1: it with us when there's a lot of nuance like
Speaker 1: so much stuff in books would be easy to execute
Speaker 1: if we lived in a vacuum, right, but we don't.
Speaker 1: We are surrounded by other people, outside forces, So how
Speaker 1: do we live it sustainably? So those are the three
Speaker 1: things that we are going to in this episode. And
Speaker 1: the first one identify what you love. Now, if you
Speaker 1: are a regular listener of Frugal Friends, you know that
Speaker 1: we usually go through internet articles. We will google something,
Speaker 1: we will see what Google throws out as their first
Speaker 1: page results, and then we will give you real life
Speaker 1: opinion and ideas on it versus algorithmic ideas and opinions
Speaker 1: on the answer. But this one is going to be
Speaker 1: all us today. So the first part, how do you
Speaker 1: find what you love spending on this year in twenty
Speaker 1: twenty five. So for us, the first thing, the first
Speaker 1: actionable tip is to do a ninety day transaction inventory.
Speaker 1: So there are some a few things before that in
Speaker 1: the book that we say that kind of prime you
Speaker 1: for being able to do your transaction inventory wall, but
Speaker 1: let's start out with something actual you can do as
Speaker 1: soon as you turn this episode off. For us, a
Speaker 1: ninety day transaction inventory is the right length of time.
Speaker 1: I was talking to my husband Travis when we just
Speaker 1: did ours a few days ago. We do it once
Speaker 1: a year, and he was like, I think we should
Speaker 1: do it for twelve months. I think that would be better.
Speaker 1: And I was like, well, I just I just throw
Speaker 1: a bug on it. But it's like not a big deal.
Speaker 1: So here's why we say ninety days. We want you
Speaker 1: to get it done. And you might be thinking, okay,
Speaker 1: I'll do ninety days. That sounds about right, but I'm
Speaker 1: going to do it like for October, September, November, because
Speaker 1: that's probably more accurate. No, you need to do it
Speaker 1: for the past ninety days that you have, not what
Speaker 1: you're spending was over the fall, not what it was
Speaker 1: over the summer, but what it has been for the
Speaker 1: past ninety days, because this is going to give you
Speaker 1: the most accurate picture of what you spending habits are now.
Speaker 1: We're not looking at our spending habits from the rest
Speaker 1: of the year. This is not to shame you or
Speaker 1: make you feel guilty about what you have spent over
Speaker 1: the last three months. We kind of risk that if
Speaker 1: we go beyond ninety days, it's not going to help
Speaker 1: us change our habits. It's just going to make us
Speaker 1: feel either better or worse about our spending. So what
Speaker 1: we're really trying to do with this transaction inventory is
Speaker 1: figure out patterns in our spending. We're trying to figure
Speaker 1: out what have I what spending habits am I currently in?
Speaker 1: Am I going to Starbucks a lot, either on my
Speaker 1: way to work or on my way home. Am I
Speaker 1: stopping at Chipotle on the way home from the grocery
Speaker 1: store every Sunday? Am I? You know, picking up a
Speaker 1: I don't know, a bottle of vodka on the way
Speaker 1: home from.
Speaker 4: Seeing my mother in law.
Speaker 1: Every t right looking for patterns, and we use atomic
Speaker 1: habits habit cues to kind of define those patterns. So
Speaker 1: we're looking for preceding event, person, time of day, stuff
Speaker 1: like that, and.
Speaker 4: What that will do.
Speaker 1: Identifying those patterns is going to help give us an
Speaker 1: idea of what values we are currently trying to spend
Speaker 1: on values or the things that we love. What are
Speaker 1: we currently spending on, and then how can we spend
Speaker 1: other resources to possibly achieve that value more fully. So
Speaker 1: maybe I am spending money on coffee so that I
Speaker 1: can stop by and see a friend at their work.
Speaker 1: Maybe that I am spending on friendship. Maybe I'm trying
Speaker 1: to spend on relationships. Maybe I'm not trying to spend
Speaker 1: on coffee. Maybe I am.
Speaker 4: You have to figure that out for yourself.
Speaker 1: If I'm trying to spend on relationships, connections, friendship, I'm
Speaker 1: not doing that one hundred percent by doing that action.
Speaker 1: So what is a way I can do it one
Speaker 1: hundred percent? That first maybe doesn't cost me money. Maybe
Speaker 1: I'm inviting a friend over to my house. Maybe we're
Speaker 1: meeting at a park if your house isn't a place
Speaker 1: you want to invite people. But we're getting creative in
Speaker 1: how we meet those values.
Speaker 3: And a framework that has been helpful for us and
Speaker 3: understanding kind of well, what are my values? What might
Speaker 3: I be trying to get after in my spending? How
Speaker 3: could my spending be telling me about my deeper self
Speaker 3: and my needs? Is Maslow's hierarchy of needs. So this
Speaker 3: triangle that many of us are probably familiar with, created
Speaker 3: by Abraham Maslow to describe are various layers of need
Speaker 3: as humans. So the bottom couple layers begin with our
Speaker 3: basic needs. It includes physiological needs like food, shelter, water, clothing,
Speaker 3: and then followed by safety and stability needs. And then
Speaker 3: the top three tiers are a little bit more nuanced
Speaker 3: in what they're describing, from love and belonging needs to
Speaker 3: self esteem needs to the tippy tippy top triangle of
Speaker 3: self actualization, and this one refers to kind of being
Speaker 3: able to operate in some of the ways that we
Speaker 3: feel we've we're kind of created, made to operate in
Speaker 3: the things that make us come alive, the things that
Speaker 3: make us feel creative, exercise our ingenuity, the things that
Speaker 3: make us feel spontaneous. These are also needs of ours,
Speaker 3: and so where many personal finance advice stops is at
Speaker 3: those bottom two levels of you should spend and save
Speaker 3: and mostly save and not spend around these basic needs.
Speaker 3: Once you have your needs met, then you're good and
Speaker 3: you shouldn't be spending on wants. And so that's what
Speaker 3: kind of makes it really tricky to determine and decipher
Speaker 3: between well, what's a need and what's a want? Because
Speaker 3: I need a house or shelter, I need clothing, I
Speaker 3: need food, but I want it to look good, I
Speaker 3: want it to taste good, and so how do we
Speaker 3: really parse this out? And so we believe that kind
Speaker 3: of this values based spending concept and allowing ourselves to
Speaker 3: understand our needs from this perspective of Maslow's hierarchy of
Speaker 3: needs can help us to put value and priority on
Speaker 3: all of our needs that we may be having and
Speaker 3: not just stop at some of the basics, but recognize
Speaker 3: we have these higher needs and they do need to
Speaker 3: be met, and we will often look to meet these
Speaker 3: needs even if some of the lower level needs aren't
Speaker 3: fully one hundred percent met. And what we've also noticed
Speaker 3: in this is we will spend to meet these needs.
Speaker 3: Many times we have to, right, like we have to
Speaker 3: buy food to meet our hunger needs, and we've got
Speaker 3: to pay rent or a mortgage to meet our shelter needs.
Speaker 3: But we don't always have to spend to meet our
Speaker 3: esteem needs, to meet our self actualization needs, to meet
Speaker 3: our love and belonging needs. But we're so accustomed to
Speaker 3: throwing money at our problems that money is the solution
Speaker 3: that without thinking, without giving ourselves the space to consider this,
Speaker 3: we will spend in that area. And so what we're
Speaker 3: describing with this ninety day transaction inventory and the foundational
Speaker 3: understanding of our layers of need is that when we
Speaker 3: can bring these things together, we might be able to
Speaker 3: get created in how do we get after love and belonging?
Speaker 3: How do we get after esteem and our creativity in
Speaker 3: ways that maybe don't require us to spend money, And
Speaker 3: then what decisions can we make with our money from there?
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is where I found like this in my
Speaker 1: own life, with being sow ingrained, with diet culture, I
Speaker 1: have always found myself purchasing exercise subscriptions, gym memberships, like
Speaker 1: nutritions subscriptions, and it's I'm obviously not alone.
Speaker 4: Weight Watchers is still a thing.
Speaker 1: Ozembic is a big thing, Like it goes beyond even
Speaker 1: like I'm small potatoes versus like everything else that's out there,
Speaker 1: living on shakes and all of these things. And it's
Speaker 1: based on this really like foundational need. Yes, we need
Speaker 1: to eat and we want to eat healthy, right, but
Speaker 1: it's marketed to us in a way that is saying,
Speaker 1: if you meet this need, like it meets a basic
Speaker 1: need of food or health, but it will also make
Speaker 1: you feel better about yourself, Like don't you want to
Speaker 1: feel better about yourself like all these other people? When
Speaker 1: really what we can be doing is focusing on the
Speaker 1: actual values, the actual needs. And yes, we'll still find
Speaker 1: ourselves spending money. This we're not trying to teach people
Speaker 1: how to not spend money. We're trying to spend money.
Speaker 1: We're not opting out of the system. So it will
Speaker 1: involve spending money, but usually less money.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so you've heard us describe it's not about deprivation.
Speaker 3: There may be some sacrifice along the way, but it's
Speaker 3: about understanding ourselves better and actually meeting the need where
Speaker 3: sometimes our purchases were attempting to meet need we're buying
Speaker 3: in order to maybe experience belonging or experience some fantasized
Speaker 3: version of ourselves, but it falls flat, like if we're
Speaker 3: honest with ourselves, it doesn't actually get us there because
Speaker 3: the marketers are kind of wrong in attaching these products
Speaker 3: to our identity. And so if we can kind of
Speaker 3: begin to detach that, it doesn't mean that we won't
Speaker 3: be spending anymore. We just won't necessarily need to spend
Speaker 3: in order to get what we truly are after.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so this might feel very big, but I would
Speaker 1: say we try to break it down in the book
Speaker 1: to give you a foundational like starting point for your values.
Speaker 1: So we base it off of the hierarchy of needs,
Speaker 1: but we start with four f's, family, friends, faith fulfilling work.
Speaker 1: So if you make those the foundation of when you spend,
Speaker 1: you try to get at those things versus the actual things,
Speaker 1: or you give yourself space to think about these things,
Speaker 1: like to consider when you're asking yourself questions, non judgmental
Speaker 1: questions like what am I really trying to get at,
Speaker 1: and kind of filter it through these four things. They're
Speaker 1: a very good starting point for aligning your spending with
Speaker 1: what you love. So it's not going to be one
Speaker 1: hundred percent. I would say it's like an eighty twenty
Speaker 1: eighty percent of the time, it's gonna be one of
Speaker 1: those four.
Speaker 4: But when you look at.
Speaker 1: Those four, they hit pretty much every single higher need,
Speaker 1: your connection, belonging, your esteem, and your self actualization, which
Speaker 1: is your creativity, innovation, et cetera. You can hit all
Speaker 1: of those with any four of those needs. That's why
Speaker 1: they're so foundational and a really good place to start
Speaker 1: when you're just starting out with values based spending.
Speaker 3: And I love how this concept can really help us
Speaker 3: push back against that needs versus wants. This I deserve
Speaker 3: this culture that I know we've talked about in a
Speaker 3: previous episode of Yeah, certainly you deserve a little treat,
Speaker 3: but you also deserve so much more than that in
Speaker 3: what you can accomplish with your finances and then in
Speaker 3: the ways that you can meet and value all aspects
Speaker 3: of yourself. So really allowing this to be the foundational
Speaker 3: piece that then we can continue to build our actions upon.
Speaker 3: So some of that action includes the second part that
Speaker 3: we mentioned of saying no to the things that we
Speaker 3: don't actually love and value, and so some of that
Speaker 3: is going to require understanding our own impulse spending tendencies.
Speaker 3: We mention five different types of impulse spending in the book,
Speaker 3: and this ninety day transaction and tory can really help
Speaker 3: us to understand what kind of impulse spender we are,
Speaker 3: Whether our unplanned purchases are the results of a habit
Speaker 3: like you mentioned, you know, every time I go into
Speaker 3: the store, I'm gonna buy this thing, or every time
Speaker 3: I'm driving home from work, I'm gonna stop off and
Speaker 3: you know, get myself a beverage. Whatever, that habit may
Speaker 3: be kind of that queue, that location that's happening. Is
Speaker 3: it maybe the result of social influence? Is it maybe
Speaker 3: when I am scrolling on Instagram or even just out
Speaker 3: with friends, that I'm spending more money than I intended
Speaker 3: to because of the people that are around me. Is
Speaker 3: it an activity for me? Have I just been kind
Speaker 3: of socialized in a way that we spend money when
Speaker 3: we go out to have fun. Is it maybe that
Speaker 3: I just love the thrill of the hunt, I love
Speaker 3: a good deal, I love to dig. I'm calling out
Speaker 3: all of my thrift store girlies. I'm right there with you.
Speaker 3: That's the one for me that can kind of draw
Speaker 3: me in and cause me to spend where maybe I
Speaker 3: didn't necessarily need to. So identifying kind of where our
Speaker 3: impulse spending tendencies lie will help us to then be
Speaker 3: able to create a better strategy and action plan from there,
Speaker 3: because if we're just throwing some random solution at it
Speaker 3: that isn't in line and congruent with the issue itself,
Speaker 3: then that too is going to fall flat because the
Speaker 3: way that we respond to habit spending is different from
Speaker 3: spending as the result of social influence.
Speaker 1: This is why I hate when people say start with
Speaker 1: a budget. I hate I hate that concept. I don't
Speaker 1: hate the people that say it. I just hate the
Speaker 1: concept because a budget is a plan for your money.
Speaker 1: It's a future plan.
Speaker 3: It's great.
Speaker 1: But when I was starting to budget, every month, I
Speaker 1: would make this perfect budget, and every month midway through,
Speaker 1: I would be like, why can't I stick to this?
Speaker 1: Like every week I'm checking in with this budget and
Speaker 1: it is wrong, Like I am wrong every single.
Speaker 3: Week, right, Because I'm the problem. I'm the problem.
Speaker 4: It's me.
Speaker 1: I'm saying, like, this is what I want to spend on,
Speaker 1: and for some reason I can't do it. And I
Speaker 1: had never taken the time to look at my past
Speaker 1: spending to let that dictate what my future plan should be,
Speaker 1: but also had not started working on the skills to
Speaker 1: spend in alignment with that plan. And that's really what
Speaker 1: looking at your impulse spending tendencies and creating healthy coping
Speaker 1: mechanisms for different types of impulsivity can do for you.
Speaker 1: And impulse spending is not bad. We don't hate impulse spending.
Speaker 1: I still impulse spend jill Us, We all do. Impulse
Speaker 1: spending is not the enemy. It's what your impulse spending
Speaker 1: on that will help you or hurt you. And it
Speaker 1: should always be including the budget, and I think budgets
Speaker 1: should be much more flexible and include a lot more
Speaker 1: room for impulsivity.
Speaker 4: But that is another time.
Speaker 1: That's for another day. So next is where I start
Speaker 1: to geek out, and it's starting to recognize the marketing
Speaker 1: tactics that are in play. So once we figure out
Speaker 1: what we love, then we have this task of in
Speaker 1: the short term figuring out how to say no and
Speaker 1: in the long term figuring out how to make it sustainable.
Speaker 1: And I think in the short term understanding that so
Speaker 1: much of our overspending, especially our impulse spending is a
Speaker 1: result of long term conditioning for being honest, like all
Speaker 1: the way back to the late eighteen hundreds early nineteen
Speaker 1: hundreds at the Industrial Revolution, when mass production became the
Speaker 1: way we produced items, and into the nineteen twenties where
Speaker 1: people were producing items cheaply, but they were just marketing
Speaker 1: that they were in awareness. And then in the twenties
Speaker 1: marketing changed to not just market in awareness but also
Speaker 1: be manufacturing desires. So from for the last one hundred years,
Speaker 1: manufacturing has not just been manufacturing products. Marketing has then
Speaker 1: been manufacturing desires, telling us that these products will solve
Speaker 1: problems that we have that we didn't know we had
Speaker 1: before we heard about it, or creating desires in us
Speaker 1: that other people had desired and that's fine for them,
Speaker 1: but then insinuating that we also should be desiring them,
Speaker 1: and if we're not desiring, that's something wrong with us,
Speaker 1: not just that we have a different interests or perspective.
Speaker 3: When we have the ability now post industrial revolution, to
Speaker 3: create products so cheaply, then the issue is that you've
Speaker 3: got so much supply and not enough demand, So how
Speaker 3: do we create demand? And that such a wild concept
Speaker 3: that I think is a new issue that we were
Speaker 3: facing now in the last few hundred years, I suppose.
Speaker 3: But as far as humanity goes, a relatively newer issue,
Speaker 3: not that we haven't desired things before. I do think
Speaker 3: that that is human nature as well. But this playing
Speaker 3: upon and incorporating behavioral economics and understanding of the human
Speaker 3: psyche and cognitive biases in order to have us crave
Speaker 3: these things in order to get us to buy the
Speaker 3: solutions to problems that really can't be bought, is a
Speaker 3: relatively newer thing that we're facing, and we're being bombarded
Speaker 3: with so many more messages of it. Social media is
Speaker 3: that and even just who we're surrounding ourselves by or
Speaker 3: or we're influenced by our neighbors. Like we see our
Speaker 3: neighbor has a thing. It seems as though it makes
Speaker 3: their lives more efficient. I'm gon buy that too. Not
Speaker 3: to mention our individuality and our reliance on independence, that
Speaker 3: if I have a problem, I have to be the
Speaker 3: one to solve that. I can't ask for help, I
Speaker 3: can't borrow anything. There's a lot that is happening internally
Speaker 3: that is our own kind of bent towards impulsive spending.
Speaker 3: But there's also a lot happening externally that is drawing us, in,
Speaker 3: pulling us in, influencing us to spend. And part of
Speaker 3: the solution here is just educating ourselves on that, because
Speaker 3: the more we can see it and identify it happening
Speaker 3: in the world around us, the more.
Speaker 2: Not I don't.
Speaker 3: I don't think we need to be fearful or unguarded way.
Speaker 1: It's not like we want to incite anger or malice
Speaker 1: towards marketers. Like a lot of these products are very
Speaker 1: are good, but it's impact. We want to empower you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I do get a little bit fumed
Speaker 3: about a level of consumption that that happens.
Speaker 1: You can be a little few if you're if you're
Speaker 1: listening to you, a little fuse happening.
Speaker 4: I can't say we haven't been, But honestly, that.
Speaker 3: Does help me a ton when I can recognize, Okay, no,
Speaker 3: here's actually what's happening. I know that that commercial almost
Speaker 3: made me cry, but now I'm a little bit upset
Speaker 3: that you're playing about my emotion.
Speaker 4: It's manipulate to try and get me.
Speaker 3: To buy a car. It's a car. It's gonna take
Speaker 3: a very good car to another It is not going
Speaker 3: to make me a better, more adventurous person that comes
Speaker 3: from inside of me.
Speaker 4: Yep, okay, okay, keep doing.
Speaker 1: So if you are a little the more you look
Speaker 1: at it, the more the more fumed you might get.
Speaker 1: But it's a short term solution at first. Actually you
Speaker 1: may feel hopeless, like when you start. It's that cognitive
Speaker 1: bias that once you know and you know to look,
Speaker 1: you start seeing it everywhere right, and it can make
Speaker 1: you feel a little hopeless. So that's why we want
Speaker 1: to also instill you with some education around what we
Speaker 1: call saving smarter, not harder. The whole book is about
Speaker 1: values based spending, but we want to kind of take
Speaker 1: a little bit of the pressure off of you by
Speaker 1: giving you these key factors to focus on in your finances.
Speaker 1: And if you focus on saving here, then you have
Speaker 1: room to make more mistakes in the rest of your
Speaker 1: smaller spending.
Speaker 3: So we like to reference here the puretto simple, that
Speaker 3: eighty twenty rule that usually twenty percent of our efforts
Speaker 3: equal eighty percent of our outcomes, or at least that's
Speaker 3: kind of what we want to be aiming at, and
Speaker 3: so too when it comes to our money. We can
Speaker 3: apply this a lot of times we want to be
Speaker 3: focusing on all the all the eighty percent of decisions,
Speaker 3: and we're getting into the weeds on oh, how can
Speaker 3: I save fifty cents here or twenty five cents there?
Speaker 3: How do I get a deal on this? How do
Speaker 3: I cut out that latte? How? And Okay, it's okay,
Speaker 3: that's fine, like it, I like it, deal too. But
Speaker 3: those are not going to be the heavy hitters with
Speaker 3: our finances. The better place to start would be the
Speaker 3: twenty percent of our spending that usually takes up about
Speaker 3: eighty percent of where our money's going, and that's going
Speaker 3: to be our our housing, transportation, and food. These are
Speaker 3: the top three categories of spending where that takes up
Speaker 3: the most of our money. So it's not big line items, right,
Speaker 3: it's not parsing out a ton of miscellaneous things. It's
Speaker 3: three things twenty percent, But for most of us it
Speaker 3: makes up about more so sixty five to seventy five
Speaker 3: percent of our spending monthly. So if we can look
Speaker 3: at making better, more informed decisions that are going to
Speaker 3: be beneficial for us in these categories, then we almost
Speaker 3: don't need to worry about some of the other spontaneous spending,
Speaker 3: impulse spending. We still want to feel really good about
Speaker 3: the decisions that we're making and keep things in check,
Speaker 3: but we would be much better off making a really
Speaker 3: informed money decision on housing than all of these other
Speaker 3: kind of willy nilly expenses. We give a really great
Speaker 3: example in the book about tangible real numbers here. If
Speaker 3: you were, let's say, looking at a house. You were
Speaker 3: looking to purchase a house for three hundred thousand dollars,
Speaker 3: and as you're in this process of looking, you start
Speaker 3: to realize, hmm, that's not getting me exactly what I want.
Speaker 3: It's not everything on my list, and I would like
Speaker 3: to see more, please, And your real estate agent takes
Speaker 3: you to maybe a house that's three hundred and fifty
Speaker 3: thousand dollars. You're approved for that loan. You could do that,
Speaker 3: and your real estate agent would probably tell you, Ah,
Speaker 3: it's just going to get wrapped up in your mortgage.
Speaker 3: It's not going to represent that much more money monthly,
Speaker 3: just an extra fifty thousand dollars over the life of
Speaker 3: the loan. You should get what you want here. You
Speaker 3: deserve that extra money. Yeah, but what that actually represents
Speaker 3: in the lifetime of let's say a thirty year mortgage,
Speaker 3: and whatever interest rate might be attached to, that could
Speaker 3: mean hundreds of thousands of dollars that you're losing out
Speaker 3: on that you could have, let's say invested for retirement.
Speaker 3: So that extra fifty thousand dollars is actually costing you
Speaker 3: far more than that fifty thousand dollars, not to mention
Speaker 3: what you just could have done with the extra fifty
Speaker 3: thousand dollars over the lifetime of that loan.
Speaker 1: And really that's not even the most important thing, because
Speaker 1: a house is an investment, right, But whatever whatever space
Speaker 1: you're trying to get at, like in your housing, whether
Speaker 1: you're budget's three hundred, five hundred, one hundred, that extra
Speaker 1: fifty thousand dollars is a seventy dollars date night every week,
Speaker 1: it's a three thousand, six hundred dollars summer vacation every year,
Speaker 1: or two eighteen hundred dollars vacations like it. Just it
Speaker 1: costs you in the short run, even if you plan
Speaker 1: to refinance. And so we go into numbers like different
Speaker 1: options in the book, and like, no, the option isn't
Speaker 1: just move further away from the city and get a
Speaker 1: cheaper house, like that's not the solution, right, So the
Speaker 1: solution has to be right for you, and we go
Speaker 1: through that. But so these are some of like the
Speaker 1: short term things, but I think the long term is
Speaker 1: going to make an even bigger impact. And so that's
Speaker 1: the third part is don't go broke. The way that
Speaker 1: we avoid being broke is by making small changes, small
Speaker 1: improvements consistently, or just by doing the right thing, not
Speaker 1: even improving, maybe just doing the right thing over and
Speaker 1: over and over for the long haul. So how do
Speaker 1: we do that? How do we make these good decisions
Speaker 1: long term? And we believe the easiest, lowest barrier to
Speaker 1: entry is cure your environment. There are so many things
Speaker 1: outside of our controls, so the only things that we
Speaker 1: can focus on are the things within our control. So
Speaker 1: the first thing within our control is our physical environment,
Speaker 1: so our spaces. So we some practical things to do
Speaker 1: are make make sure you have a space like a
Speaker 1: home that you feel comfortable inviting people over to. That's
Speaker 1: a great way to meet a lot of needs like
Speaker 1: with family and friends and not have to spend money.
Speaker 1: Make sure it's a place that you can do creative
Speaker 1: work in that you are feeling that you have created
Speaker 1: a space that supports whatever your creativity or your innovation
Speaker 1: or your individuality. And so maybe that means you're decluttering.
Speaker 1: If your space is very cluttered, maybe that means you
Speaker 1: are downsizing so you don't have so much to clean,
Speaker 1: or maybe you are getting a bigger place. Whatever that
Speaker 1: means for you, we want you to simplify your environment.
Speaker 1: To curate that physical environment, it could also mean your car,
Speaker 1: your desk at work. You're looking at these four f's
Speaker 1: and you're thinking, Okay, my physical space is a resource.
Speaker 1: I have to get more of what I love, and
Speaker 1: how can I set my physical space up to be
Speaker 1: a resource that gets as much of it as possible?
Speaker 3: And part of this is recognizing how we operate. We
Speaker 3: can make better decisions when we feel less chaotic, and
Speaker 3: so we're not talking about just minimalism, but a lot
Speaker 3: of these efforts will include a degree of simplification so
Speaker 3: that we don't have as much taking our time, energy
Speaker 3: and attention away from the things that are really important.
Speaker 3: It's about identifying what is our enough where many times
Speaker 3: we will choose additive solutions when subtractive solutions would be
Speaker 3: even better. So rather than you know, maybe this I
Speaker 3: don't want the message to be make sure that your
Speaker 3: environment feels really good to you, and now all of
Speaker 3: a sudden you feel like you've got to decorate it
Speaker 3: really beautifully and you've got to make sure that it
Speaker 3: looks so esthetically pleasing. No, it doesn't have to be that.
Speaker 3: More so something that feels calm and inviting to you
Speaker 3: and not chaotic, not overwhelming, not inhibiting our ability to
Speaker 3: make good decisions. And usually that's going to come through simplification.
Speaker 3: And also, in addition to curating our environment, our physical spaces, well,
Speaker 3: that's a really good place to start. There are other
Speaker 3: external pieces that are important to be curating as well,
Speaker 3: and that includes our community. So recognizing the impact that
Speaker 3: our relationships are having not only on us, but on
Speaker 3: our spending decisions. We are not talking about cutting people out,
Speaker 3: but we are talking about taking inventory of the friendships
Speaker 3: that we have, the way that we're engaging with our family.
Speaker 3: What is meaningful, what's life giving, what is helping us
Speaker 3: make these beneficial decisions, and what's not. That might mean
Speaker 3: that we begin to put boundaries around certain interactions. It
Speaker 3: could mean that we increase engagement with certain communities, certain people.
Speaker 3: It could also mean that we are a little bit
Speaker 3: more vocal about the things that we're getting after in
Speaker 3: this new year, the goals that we've set for ourselves,
Speaker 3: the things that we want to do with our finances
Speaker 3: or other So often, when we can be a little
Speaker 3: bit more vulnerable and share about what's happening for us
Speaker 3: and the things that we've set our minds to and
Speaker 3: what we're setting our hands to, it can be inspiring
Speaker 3: to others. It can spark really helpful conversation. It can
Speaker 3: help you find your people to help you in this journey.
Speaker 3: And so well, community and relationships are so necessary, crucial, vital,
Speaker 3: They can also be the same place that some of
Speaker 3: are not so helpful spending decisions come from. So recognizing
Speaker 3: that and making small shifts in those areas, not cutting
Speaker 3: people out, but potentially increasing Where you do have that
Speaker 3: community that's really helpful to you, how can you engage
Speaker 3: with that more and really curate your community in that way.
Speaker 1: This is one of the things that I think is
Speaker 1: going to transcend spending money because I hear all the
Speaker 1: time people who want to increase their income and they've
Speaker 1: filled out fifty applications, sixty applications, one hundred applications for
Speaker 1: new jobs and haven't gotten any thing and feel like
Speaker 1: it's just not for them, and they feel so stuck,
Speaker 1: and honestly, like filling out work applications a hundred of
Speaker 1: them is not a flex. If you want to advance
Speaker 1: in an industry, or advance in a position across an industry, whatever,
Speaker 1: it's the people you meet who will get you the
Speaker 1: connections that will get you the best jobs, the best salaries,
Speaker 1: the best ways to negotiate with people. It's connections. It's people.
Speaker 1: And you want to be not just curating your relationships
Speaker 1: between friends and family, but also to do your fulfilling
Speaker 1: work right. And we want to be curating relationships where
Speaker 1: we feel like we're giving back to the community.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: So this is such a powerful thing that will transcend
Speaker 1: how you spend money, and it will change the way
Speaker 1: that you earn money and that you and the ways
Speaker 1: you spend your time and feel about everything like I'm
Speaker 1: just this one will like that chapter alone will change
Speaker 1: your life.
Speaker 3: We are throwing a lot at you, and I do
Speaker 3: imagine that this could feel like you're drinking from a
Speaker 3: fire hydrant right now, because this is a bit of
Speaker 3: a bird's eye view of everything that we have put
Speaker 3: into our book, by what you Love without going broke,
Speaker 3: by what you loovebook dot com. If any of this
Speaker 3: is resonating with you and you're like, wait, but I
Speaker 3: wanted to know more about that, how would I actually
Speaker 3: do that? It's there, but I do want to kind
Speaker 3: of wrap up this concept and kind of land the
Speaker 3: plane here, start to slowly turn off that fire hydrant
Speaker 3: water to encourage you with this part, and it is
Speaker 3: one of the final chapters of the book, talking about
Speaker 3: contentment over complacency. I think that when we hear so
Speaker 3: much about what we could be or should be doing
Speaker 3: with our money and the best decisions to be making
Speaker 3: and the action steps to be taking, it can all
Speaker 3: feel really overwhelming. And while we hope that you can
Speaker 3: kind of take one step here of you know, start
Speaker 3: with the ninety day transaction inventory, but also there is
Speaker 3: room here to identify just what is enough that we
Speaker 3: don't have to be doing all of the things all
Speaker 3: at once. We can take this in stride and recognize
Speaker 3: that it is a journey, but it doesn't have to
Speaker 3: be one where we then find ourselves complacent either. We
Speaker 3: never will come to a point of arrival, but we
Speaker 3: also want to be living within our enough along the
Speaker 3: way as we identify what's next. And one of my
Speaker 3: favorite definitions, well or just the definition of gratitude is
Speaker 3: expressing thankfulness for benefits received, so allowing ourselves to sit
Speaker 3: in the present of what has already happened and transpired,
Speaker 3: what is currently happening in this moment. We can be
Speaker 3: hopeful for things, we can set goals. That's amazing, but
Speaker 3: that's not what gratitude is really aimed at. Not about
Speaker 3: being grateful for things we hope happen, but what is
Speaker 3: currently going on.
Speaker 1: Or even in the past, like not being thankful. I
Speaker 1: have a problem with thinking so much good stuff has
Speaker 1: happened to me in the past, Like I should just
Speaker 1: be thankful for you know, I should just be thankful
Speaker 1: because of that. Now there are things in your present,
Speaker 1: maybe big, maybe small, but there are things in the
Speaker 1: present day to be thankful.
Speaker 3: And even what have the difficulties that you faced financially
Speaker 3: taught you? Who are you now? Who are you becoming?
Speaker 3: Because of some things that maybe you wish hadn't happened,
Speaker 3: But how are they forming you? I think this could
Speaker 3: be a really helpful way to view some of the
Speaker 3: things of the past and then can continue to build
Speaker 3: on from there. So that could be a helpful kind
Speaker 3: of mind journaling exercise, while we also do this ninety
Speaker 3: day transaction inventory. But rest assured, all of this is
Speaker 3: in the book to much greater degrees. But please know
Speaker 3: that it is never too late to start, and there
Speaker 3: are ways to actually meet your needs fully within the
Speaker 3: parameters of your current life, season, and income, while also
Speaker 3: aiming for what's next. What goals can I set for myself?
Speaker 3: What excites me for the future.
Speaker 1: You know what excites me for the future, and that
Speaker 1: I am presently grateful for every time.
Speaker 3: I receive this benafes the bill of the week.
Speaker 5: That's right, it's time for the best minute of yourance
Speaker 5: high week. Maybe a baby was born and his name
Speaker 5: is William. Maybe you've paid off your mortgage. Maybe your
Speaker 5: car died and you're happy to not have to pay
Speaker 5: that bill anymore. That bills Buffalo bills, Bill Clinton, this
Speaker 5: is the bill of the week.
Speaker 6: Hi, Jen and Jill, This is Marla from Ontario, Canada.
Speaker 6: We have many bills this season as we're building a
Speaker 6: property in the woods for the next phase of our life.
Speaker 6: But My favorite spend this week is the pre order
Speaker 6: of your new book. Can't wait to read it. Love
Speaker 6: everything you do.
Speaker 1: Thanks so much, oh Marla, I promise we didn't put
Speaker 1: that one in on purpose that if we just.
Speaker 3: Go down the list, So thank you, Marla. This is
Speaker 3: so exciting. We love bills that we don't mind paying for,
Speaker 3: like the bills we are excited to pay. And the
Speaker 3: fact that you chose our book as something you are
Speaker 3: willing to spend on means a lot twenty five dollars.
Speaker 3: We don't take it for granted. We know that you
Speaker 3: all are very judicious and prudent with your money, that
Speaker 3: you have learned spending as a skill, and you're not
Speaker 3: just throwing money at problems or you're here because you
Speaker 3: don't have a lot of money to throw. So it
Speaker 3: does not escape us just how special it is that
Speaker 3: you would pre order our book and those of you
Speaker 3: listening who have done this as well, our deepest gratitude
Speaker 3: for this benefit received and thank you, thank you Marla
Speaker 3: for sharing that. We so appreciate it. We hope you
Speaker 3: love it. If you all are listening and you have
Speaker 3: a bill that you want to submit, if it's about
Speaker 3: pre ordering our book. Wouldn't that be so fun to
Speaker 3: be flooded with bills of the week about people having
Speaker 3: ordered our book? Or if your name is Bill, if
Speaker 3: you have a kidnamed Bill.
Speaker 1: If you're Bill Curtis here you know, oh Bill Curtis,
Speaker 1: and you can get him to.
Speaker 3: Call Frugal friendspodcast dot com slash Bill. We can't wait
Speaker 3: to hear it. And now it's time for the lightning round.
Speaker 3: I have a lightning round in the book, and we
Speaker 3: read our audio book. So if you get our book
Speaker 3: in the audio version, it's us talking, obviously, and every
Speaker 3: chapter has a lightning round where we ask a question
Speaker 3: something that you can consider that's related to the content
Speaker 3: of that chapter, and we make pupu noises poo.
Speaker 4: All right, so what is your favorite thing to buy?
Speaker 1: What do you love to buye? We don't do that,
Speaker 1: and we don't do that, Okay. So for me, I've
Speaker 1: said this before and I will die on this hill.
Speaker 4: It is daycare.
Speaker 1: I love to support my uh it's a license in
Speaker 1: home daycare. She is a small business owner immigrated from Cuba.
Speaker 1: I pay good money.
Speaker 4: Every week for her to love on my son. And
Speaker 4: he needs so much love.
Speaker 1: He is so violent and I love to support her,
Speaker 1: but I also love to send him away for eight
Speaker 1: hours a day so that I can do fulfilling work
Speaker 1: and spend time with Jill in person instead of just
Speaker 1: virtually because we live fifteen minutes away from each other.
Speaker 1: It meets so many of my values. And it is
Speaker 1: a big bill. It is a bill that some people
Speaker 1: would say is inefficient to pay, but it meets so
Speaker 1: many allows me to meet so many of my values,
Speaker 1: and I know it's not forever, and I just love
Speaker 1: the quality of her care.
Speaker 3: What are you going to do with that money when
Speaker 3: you don't have to pay for daycare anymore?
Speaker 1: Oh, I'm going to invest it for retirement. Well, first
Speaker 1: I'm going to put some away for his college and
Speaker 1: then I'm going to put the rest towards retirement. So
Speaker 1: that's and we invest less for retirement right now because
Speaker 1: of that bill, And for me, that's okay. That's still
Speaker 1: part of our plan of embracing the present and not
Speaker 1: being so focused future focused that we forget now is here.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So for me, I would say flights. I love
Speaker 3: buying flights because it represents adventure. It represents usually going
Speaker 3: to see a beautiful place or beautiful people, the people
Speaker 3: that I love. We live away from our family and friends,
Speaker 3: and so we often are going to Ohio or Pennsylvania
Speaker 3: to see family and friends, or we're going to see
Speaker 3: someplace really amazing, and that is just so fulfilling to me.
Speaker 3: And I think it's important to have things to look
Speaker 3: forward to. I think it is one of the things
Speaker 3: that keeps us going, especially during difficult times. Like one
Speaker 3: of the things as I've kind of counseled people over
Speaker 3: the years going through really tough, particularly trying seasons of life,
Speaker 3: that's one of those anchor points that is usually helpful
Speaker 3: for people, like what do you have to look forward to?
Speaker 3: And if you don't have something, can you create something?
Speaker 3: Can you find something that you can put not in
Speaker 3: the two distant future that you can look forward to?
Speaker 3: And for me, that's one of those things.
Speaker 6: Yes.
Speaker 1: So we hope that we have inspired you to start
Speaker 1: on the path to learning what you love to spend
Speaker 1: money on, learning what you love to spend time and
Speaker 1: energy and space on, and that you can do more
Speaker 1: of that in twenty twenty five without going broke. And
Speaker 1: if we have, we hope that you will pre order
Speaker 1: buy what you love without going broke, or if you're
Speaker 1: listening to this after January soth, we hope that you
Speaker 1: will buy it, buy what you loovebook dot com if
Speaker 1: you've already pre ordered it and you want to leave
Speaker 1: a rating and review on the platform that you purchased on,
Speaker 1: or maybe just a review of the podcast, like this
Speaker 1: one from Run and Jess hands down my favorite podcast,
Speaker 1: five stars. It says if you would have told me
Speaker 1: five years ago that I'd be binging a podcast on finances,
Speaker 1: saving and frugality, I would have laughed in your face.
Speaker 1: But here we are, enjoying every episode, taking notes on
Speaker 1: all the juicy info nerd Alert, nord Alert, nord Alert,
Speaker 1: and humming the bill of the week jingle as I'm
Speaker 1: doing housework. Jen and Jill have excellent content and even
Speaker 1: better delivery. I've only been listening for a couple of
Speaker 1: months after they were guests on another podcast. I listened
Speaker 1: to Hijes Massey from Hustle sanely, and I've been binging
Speaker 1: ever since. And yes, I've pre ordered their book as
Speaker 1: well and counting the days until i can dive into it.
Speaker 1: Thank you for spreading the frugal gospel with fun and positivity.
Speaker 1: Providing great resources, validating good habits, and celebrating all the
Speaker 1: milestones along the way. This podcast is a game changer.
Speaker 4: I'm not crying. You're crying, Liz.
Speaker 3: I'm literally have goosebumps over here. Some of these reviews,
Speaker 3: you all go all out your great this head all
Speaker 3: of the things that I love, including the fact that
Speaker 3: you've also pre ordered the book. This feels like such
Speaker 3: a gift to me to have both a Bill of
Speaker 3: the week and a review saying we pre ordered is
Speaker 3: It's kind of.
Speaker 4: Like Goldie podcast manager may plant it. Well, you know
Speaker 4: what she.
Speaker 3: All collectively gave us. I guess she said good, And
Speaker 3: I'm here for it. And I'm so glad that you
Speaker 3: who would not have ever described yourself as someone who
Speaker 3: would listen to a personal finance podcast are listening and
Speaker 3: enjoying it, because that has been our whole goal from
Speaker 3: the beginning, is accessible, fun personal finance content for your
Speaker 3: average person who doesn't know all the lingo but wants
Speaker 3: to learn. So I'm glad you're here. If you all
Speaker 3: are listening and you've not left a review, you don't
Speaker 3: have to make us cry with your review. But like
Speaker 3: this one, it's so helpful to know. Oh, this would
Speaker 3: be a personal finance podcast for me, because yeah, I
Speaker 3: don't want it to be boring, and I don't want
Speaker 3: to feel ashamed by my spending decisions. I want to
Speaker 3: feel seen and I want to be helped. If you
Speaker 3: felt that this podcast has done that for you, let
Speaker 3: others know it can really help to get this content
Speaker 3: into the hands of more people. And by doing so,
Speaker 3: you would be helping. You'd be helping us, and you'd
Speaker 3: be helping others.
Speaker 1: So thank you, thank you, See you next time.
Speaker 3: Bye.
Speaker 1: Frugal Friends is produced by Eric Sirianni. All Right, it
Speaker 1: is New Year's Eve and when this comes out, what
Speaker 1: do you think you will do to ring in the
Speaker 1: new year?
Speaker 3: To go for the new year? I think you found
Speaker 3: yourself at our party. Yeah, yes, remember the one year
Speaker 3: it was it was hot tub and roof. We're on
Speaker 3: the roof, you're on the tub.
Speaker 1: I don't know that you were able to come last
Speaker 1: because there have so many children they need care. So
Speaker 1: there's just two of them, but they all require something.
Speaker 3: So what do you think you'll be doing this year?
Speaker 4: Going to bed?
Speaker 3: Yeah, see, I think that's what you said last year.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I did I did do that last year. I
Speaker 1: am past the point of my life where I want
Speaker 1: to tackle crowds at one am. That's I think the
Speaker 1: barrier for me. I will tackle crowds at probably until
Speaker 1: around nine pm.
Speaker 3: Most of the time. I hear you. I think New
Speaker 3: Year's is my one exception. And here's the funny thing
Speaker 3: about that. I just made this comment too, Eric. Recently.
Speaker 3: I think a lot of parents claim and blame their
Speaker 3: kids for not wanting to go out and blame do
Speaker 3: these flame But in reality, I think it's age. Because
Speaker 3: Eric and I are home and in bed far before
Speaker 3: midnight on the weekends, even on the week didn't.
Speaker 4: Go We don't.
Speaker 3: We don't want to be out past ten o'clock, Like
Speaker 3: I don't want to drink past that time. I really,
Speaker 3: I don't want to drink past seven pm anymore because
Speaker 3: it messes with my sleep. And I don't want to
Speaker 3: be out because I have things that I need to
Speaker 3: do on Saturday morning and I'm just tired, and I
Speaker 3: like my bed and I want to get a shower,
Speaker 3: and I don't need to be in this conversation with
Speaker 3: you longer than is necessary. Like I like meeting new people,
Speaker 3: but you get it like okay, yeah, yeah, it's I'm
Speaker 3: not the kid's fault, it's age. Yeah, and learning that
Speaker 3: like I met all my needs tonight.
Speaker 4: That's it.
Speaker 3: Ten thirty. We got there. There's nothing more that we're
Speaker 3: going to learn about each other or connect on. If
Speaker 3: I'm out for another two hours.
Speaker 1: I think the crowds I'm talking about are traffic on
Speaker 1: the way home. That's because I never really went downtown
Speaker 1: before kids. I would go to somebody's house and then
Speaker 1: go home afterwards. So it is now I just can't
Speaker 1: because I can't bring the kids out that late.
Speaker 3: But I.
Speaker 4: Know we'll see, we'll see
Speaker 3: Where the wind takes me, and it might be straight
Speaker 3: to Muppet