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Speaker 1: Trigger warning. This episode contains content about suicide. If you

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Speaker 1: are a loved one are struggling with suicidal thoughts, please

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Speaker 1: call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at one eight hundred

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Speaker 1: two seven three eight two five five, or message the

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Speaker 1: Crisis text line at seven four one seven four to one.

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Speaker 1: Both programs are free and provide confidential support twenty four

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Speaker 1: to seven. Hi, and welcome to this episode. Will keep

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Speaker 1: it positive, sweetie. I'm CHRISTINEE. Hazlet and today I am

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Speaker 1: talking about silencing the shame with Ashanti das Hi. Hi,

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Speaker 1: how are you doing it?

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Speaker 2: I believe up sitting at yours.

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Speaker 1: I'm so proud of you. I'm like, it's.

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Speaker 2: Weird for me to like think of you like as

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Speaker 2: this like media personality actress and I just know you

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Speaker 2: from back in the day in Atlanta. Interest to see

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Speaker 2: where God has moved your life. And it's an honor

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Speaker 2: to be.

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Speaker 1: No, thank you so much. And when we were going

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Speaker 1: through a list of people and I was like, we

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Speaker 1: have to have Shanti das On. So when I called

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Speaker 1: you and You're like absolutely, I was like, she said, yes,

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Speaker 1: so thank you.

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Speaker 2: I seen you since I last night.

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Speaker 1: I know, yes, yes, we gotta do that again. Yes,

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Speaker 1: when I think of you, I think of I don't

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Speaker 1: look like what I've been through. You've been through so much,

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Speaker 1: and a lot of people don't. Yeah, we have a

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Speaker 1: t issue somewhere. We'll grab it if we need it.

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Speaker 1: But a lot of people don't know that you started

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Speaker 1: in the music industry. Like, that's when I met you.

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Speaker 1: You were working in the music industry, and you are

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Speaker 1: a mental health advocate. You are a CEO and founder

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Speaker 1: of Silence of Shame, and you have your own podcast

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Speaker 1: called Mebo The Mebo Show. Yes, amazing, So make sure

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Speaker 1: you guys check that out. You did twenty five years.

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Speaker 1: I mean I had ten years at Capitol Records, La

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Speaker 1: Face Records, Columbia Records, Sony Urban Music, and Universal Motown.

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Speaker 2: Wow, long time.

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Speaker 1: That you gave a lot of your life to the industry.

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Speaker 2: I did.

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Speaker 1: Wow. I remember in two thousand and nine, I moved

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Speaker 1: here and I worked at the front desk of Divine

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Speaker 1: Stevens's office.

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Speaker 2: He has when I met you, because that's when I

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Speaker 2: was really just come back to Atlanta.

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Speaker 1: Yep, exactly. Yeah, And it was I always saw you.

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Speaker 1: You were always everybody came to you. It's like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, it's something special about her. But

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Speaker 1: I never knew all the things you had done until

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Speaker 1: later on. I was like, oh, my goodness.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's been a real journey. And you know, I'm

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Speaker 2: an Atlanta native, so I grew up here, and to

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Speaker 2: come back and be able to work in the entertainment

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Speaker 2: industry and help to really launch the music scene was

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Speaker 2: a real pleasure and honor. A little surreal, I can imagine,

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Speaker 2: because I went to Syracuse University, Wow, way up north.

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Speaker 2: Most of my friends, you know, kind of stayed down south,

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Speaker 2: but I just wanted to get away do something different.

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Speaker 2: And when I was at Syracuse, I started like dabbling

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Speaker 2: in radio. I had a radio show, Graveyard Shift Girl

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Speaker 2: in the Morning, Yeah, and I was assistant promotions director.

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Speaker 2: And then when I came back to Atlanta the summer

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Speaker 2: of my sophomore year, I got my first internship at

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Speaker 2: Capitol Records. So I was working in industry in college.

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Speaker 2: In college, going to Jack the Rapper and all the conventions. What. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So I did that for two summers and then graduating

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Speaker 2: in nineteen ninety three. You can call me, Yes, I'm

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Speaker 2: fifty two. I'm proud of it, Yes, but I came

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Speaker 2: back and worked at Tony Music for free as an intern,

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Speaker 2: which you know, if y'all are listening, any up and

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Speaker 2: coming folks want to work in music, sometimes it's okay

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Speaker 2: to work for free to get their foot in the door.

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Speaker 2: And so then after that because I tell people also

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Speaker 2: it's important to keep good relationships.

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Speaker 1: Yes right, you don't have to like everybody you worked with, but.

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Speaker 2: Try to stay positive, to keep the door open to

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Speaker 2: come back and call on somebody. So the guy that

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Speaker 2: the gentleman, mister Keith Fry, who was my men, he

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Speaker 2: started consulting with La Face and La Reid was like, y'all,

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Speaker 2: we're looking for a promotions director. We need some help,

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Speaker 2: and we got the job thirty thousand dollars right out

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Speaker 2: of college.

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Speaker 1: You could tell me nothing nothing I know, that's right,

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Speaker 1: and with greats like La Red.

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Speaker 2: First record I ever worked was Outcast Players Ball first record.

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Speaker 1: Did you even understand?

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Speaker 2: How did big? And remember it was on the Christmas

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Speaker 2: album Wow. So you know, we had a lot of songs,

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Speaker 2: a lot of artists. TLC and Tony Bradson was on

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Speaker 2: the Christmas album and this song started like getting a

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Speaker 2: lot of good feed back in DJs, and La was like, well,

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Speaker 2: and you know Dungeon Family Reco. They were like, we

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Speaker 2: should just make this the first single. Wow, that's kind

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Speaker 2: of how it all kicked off.

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Speaker 1: That's how it kicked off. And you worked with Outcasts?

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Speaker 2: I did. I worked with them on all of their albums.

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Speaker 2: I did the marketing, well, the promotions, initially did the

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Speaker 2: marketing for the first four albums.

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Speaker 1: I have to ask you, because I am a huge outcast. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I love Andrea. I mean I love a big boy

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Speaker 1: and Andre. But Andre just has a piece of my heart.

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Speaker 2: He is just.

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Speaker 1: Incredible. What was it like working with them too?

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Speaker 2: Like esentially, they were just like little teenagers that used

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Speaker 2: to get on my last nerve on the road. They

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Speaker 2: would come knock on my door after we get back

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Speaker 2: from promo runs and I'm.

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Speaker 1: Like, y'all need to go to bed.

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Speaker 2: So they would just hit a regular teenager. But I

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Speaker 2: will say they were hard workers, incredibly creative. You know

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Speaker 2: a lot of times when you think of the music

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Speaker 2: industry and back in the day, you think of label

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Speaker 2: executives having to like give the artists a direction or

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Speaker 2: a sense of self or personal sense of style. You

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Speaker 2: understand styling, but No, it wasn't like that with them.

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Speaker 2: They knew what they wanted to do, they knew who

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Speaker 2: they were, and we just kind of came in to

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Speaker 2: enhance their brilliance and their greatness along with the Dungeon family.

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Speaker 2: And so that's what I loved about them. You know,

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Speaker 2: one of the I think your favorite, one of your

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Speaker 2: favorite albums of the Qumeni rite, Yes, I think I

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Speaker 2: read that. And so what I loved about a quen

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Speaker 2: I was it was a real combination of the two

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Speaker 2: of them. So Quieminine stood for Aquarius in Gemini, and

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Speaker 2: that made the word equiminie. So you know, big Boy

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Speaker 2: being the player and Andre being the poet, and it

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Speaker 2: was just like a perfect combination, right, It was a

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Speaker 2: perfect storm for a hip hop group, and it was

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Speaker 2: just amazing. And I was there the night in nineteen

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Speaker 2: ninety five. You know, we're celebrating hip Hop fifteen and

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Speaker 2: yes we're those iconic moments in hip hop. And that

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Speaker 2: night at the Source Awards was when Dre gave that

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Speaker 2: infamous speech the South got something to say, it was

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Speaker 2: it was myself, their manager Blue Williams there and I

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Speaker 2: was the only girl repping with them that night. Wow.

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Speaker 2: And to date that picture of us, the three of us,

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Speaker 2: is circulated a gazillion times on social media. And I

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Speaker 2: have to pinch myself sometimes to say I was right

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Speaker 2: there with you, were right history. But they did all

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Speaker 2: the hole in the wall clubs. They had to deal

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Speaker 2: with a lot of criticism from people saying, oh, their country,

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Speaker 2: we don't like this music.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 2: They weren't always accepted and nor was Southern hip hop. True,

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Speaker 2: but you know, they put the work in and we

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Speaker 2: did what we had to do to make them, you know,

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Speaker 2: household names. Yes, I love that.

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Speaker 1: Oh my goodness. Speaking of artists, you work with, y'all

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Speaker 1: starts with Usher, Tony Braxton.

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Speaker 2: Usher Boys. He on a fight, on a fight.

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Speaker 1: I still have not gotten I am shot, I am yeah.

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Speaker 1: I saw that you went yes and he shouted you out.

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Speaker 2: And that was a total surprise. But I was there

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Speaker 2: when we signed him. He was like fifteen, very early

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Speaker 2: on doing all his promo and getting to see his brilliance.

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Speaker 2: Even then, I we knew that Usher had the it factor.

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Speaker 2: He's one of the hardest working artists I've ever met.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 2: He always knew like what he wanted, like he always

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Speaker 2: believed in going hard like Noah was never an answer

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Speaker 2: for him. He would just figure out a way to yes. Wow,

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Speaker 2: even like he was very involved in the promo, ideas,

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Speaker 2: what he wore, how he wanted to look, just everything

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Speaker 2: that's very involved. So it's no surprise to me that

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Speaker 2: he'd be doing the Super Bowl now it's.

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Speaker 1: His Are you gonna go?

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Speaker 2: I don't know, you know, I don't wanna ask somebody

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Speaker 2: for tickets and that sort of thing. If I get,

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Speaker 2: you know, opportunity to find a ticket that is reasonable, yes,

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Speaker 2: If not, I will be cheering on from the sidelines

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Speaker 2: of my house with you know, watching it on TV.

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Speaker 2: But I'm so very proud of him and Tea.

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Speaker 1: I love that you released a book in twenty twenty

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Speaker 1: in the middle of the pandemic, Silencing My Shame, and

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Speaker 1: you have built this whole brand around merging the culture

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Speaker 1: and therapy and mental health. What was it that made

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Speaker 1: you say I needed to bridge this gap?

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Speaker 2: That's a great question. Can I take you back a

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Speaker 2: little bit please? Yes. So a lot of people don't

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Speaker 2: know that my dad died by suicide when I was

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Speaker 2: seven months old, and that was hard. By the time

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Speaker 2: I got to be safe four or five years old

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Speaker 2: and really understood that my father was deceased and he

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Speaker 2: wasn't coming back. I was really angry. You know, when

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Speaker 2: you go through the grief process, there are a lot

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Speaker 2: of emotions, absolutely angersinly one of the stages of grief,

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Speaker 2: and so then you add suicide on top of that.

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Speaker 2: It was embarrassing and so it's interesting my late sister

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Speaker 2: we used to talk about how when friends would ask

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Speaker 2: us where our dad was, we'd be like, oh, he died,

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Speaker 2: he had a heart attack, or he had this, or

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Speaker 2: he anything other than suicide. And so my mom never

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Speaker 2: went to counseling, never went to therapy, which we know

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Speaker 2: has been an issue for the times for us in

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Speaker 2: the black community, is we don't deal with those type

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Speaker 2: of traumas and issues had on when they happen. So

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Speaker 2: fast forward, we all kind of dealt with it on

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Speaker 2: our own. And it was my sister, Angelie Maria dos

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Speaker 2: Arnold who broke the cycle and put herself into therapy

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Speaker 2: in college. Wow, this is like that late eighties early.

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Speaker 1: Nineties when it wasn't even like popular, No.

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Speaker 2: Nobody was really talking about it. So fast forward. I

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Speaker 2: after I left La Face and moved up to New

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Speaker 2: York City. It was the first time I was working

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Speaker 2: in a more corporate environment and one of the larger

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Speaker 2: labels there, and I was in a kind of a

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Speaker 2: toxic environment and at the time, my boss was yelling

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Speaker 2: and cursing all the time, and I just wasn't used

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Speaker 2: to that. And so once I started dealing with adversity

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Speaker 2: in the workplace, I didn't know how to deal with

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Speaker 2: my emotional side of things, and so it started bringing

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Speaker 2: back a lot of the feelings I'm my dad and

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Speaker 2: different things. And so that was the first time I

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Speaker 2: had ever said maybe I should just kill myself.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 2: That was in two thousand, So that was twenty three

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Speaker 2: years ago. And it scared me because I knew that

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Speaker 2: there were something in the back of my head that

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Speaker 2: I always said, well, when the going got tough, would

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Speaker 2: that be something I would consider?

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 2: So I went to therapy for the first time in

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Speaker 2: my early thirties and went for about three or four months.

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Speaker 2: When it was okay, and I kind of jumped back

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Speaker 2: into my work. I think it was my ego. I

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Speaker 2: was like, oh, I'm okay, I don't know I need

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Speaker 2: to see a therapist that long. So I just started

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Speaker 2: doing what I did best. Yeah, and I had some

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Speaker 2: amazing times in New York doing the marketing for prints

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Speaker 2: for his musicology album, which was a dab oh. I

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Speaker 2: literally was on tour at Prince I have to like pinch, right,

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Speaker 2: so you know, on tour prints was really amazing. So

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Speaker 2: I had some good times in New York. But then

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Speaker 2: I think I was still not dealing with my emotions

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Speaker 2: properly like I should have. And so you know how

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Speaker 2: now in the workplace there are resources around mental health,

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Speaker 2: or you could talk to the HR department. I didn't

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Speaker 2: do any of that or really didn't know about any

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Speaker 2: of those resources. So I was internalizing a lot of

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Speaker 2: my stress. So by the time I had gotten to

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Speaker 2: Universal Motown Girl, I was making almost a half million

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Speaker 2: dollars a year corner office, range, rover, all the stuff

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Speaker 2: that we think we need and want, but still not

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Speaker 2: addressing my health concerns, right. And I say health concerns

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Speaker 2: because sometimes people put mental health in a box. It's

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Speaker 2: still our health. We have mental health and we have

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Speaker 2: physical health, right, And so long story short, I was

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Speaker 2: taking naps at like one o'clock in the middle of

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Speaker 2: the day. That's not like me. Now, you know me

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Speaker 2: and my work ethic type, a personality go getter. So

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Speaker 2: when I started noticing that, I was like, things just

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Speaker 2: aren't really right. And so I remember one day I

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Speaker 2: was in a taxi going to a meeting, riding uptown

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Speaker 2: in New York City, and my whole right side went

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Speaker 2: num like I couldn't feel my hands, my arms, my legs.

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Speaker 2: So it scared me to death. Started taking all these tests,

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Speaker 2: went to the doctor and had all these like CT

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Speaker 2: scans and MRIs done, and I got diagnosed with what

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Speaker 2: was called cervical spinal stenosis and it's a it's directly

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Speaker 2: related to the stress in your body. And my sister

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Speaker 2: was like, this, ain't it. You need to rethink what's

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Speaker 2: going on. And I thought I had to have surgery

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Speaker 2: on my spine in my back, and so shout out

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Speaker 2: to Sylvia Ron who was Lucky Sylvia who was my

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Speaker 2: boss at the time, and she was like, well, let's

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Speaker 2: figure it out if you need to do surgery. But

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Speaker 2: my sister was like, you're killing yourself, like you're just

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Speaker 2: not healthy. And so I made the tough decision and

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Speaker 2: I walked away and came back home, and that's when

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Speaker 2: I met you and like probably late two thousand and nine,

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Speaker 2: early twenty ten, and then I came back home and

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Speaker 2: started doing a lot of communities service work because of

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Speaker 2: course I was depressed from walking away from a huge career,

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Speaker 2: because I probably could have kept going and maybe you

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Speaker 2: would have become general manager of a label or a

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Speaker 2: president or managed artists or whatever. So it was can

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Speaker 2: you imagine what it was like like walking away from

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Speaker 2: something you had done your whole life and worked so

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Speaker 2: hard for. But I started doing a lot of community

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Speaker 2: work in Atlanta, feeding the homeless, working with the United Way.

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Speaker 2: God was just moving me to like do something different,

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Speaker 2: and who knew that he would set me up, you know,

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Speaker 2: for the greatest assignment that I had ever had. But

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Speaker 2: it didn't come without difficulties. So the first few years

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Speaker 2: I was home, I started doing some consulting, started consulting

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Speaker 2: with Devine Stephens at up Front Entertainment. I started working

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Speaker 2: with Johnny Gill and Kelly Price, and I started at

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Speaker 2: Alive on the Park that it was like the hotest shop,

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Speaker 2: so much fun, but we had a ten year run.

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Speaker 2: But again, I'm doing, I'm just doing, I'm going and

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Speaker 2: I'm going, I'm doing, but I'm not looking internal. You

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Speaker 2: never stopped, never stopped to look within. So twenty fourteen

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Speaker 2: came and I remember I was going on vacation to

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Speaker 2: visit a family friend in Switzerland, and I was about

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Speaker 2: to board the plane and my best friend had called

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Speaker 2: me and she said, Hey, have you gotten on the plane?

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Speaker 2: And I said, no, what's going on? She said, Oh

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Speaker 2: my god, it's the worst day of my life. And

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Speaker 2: I said, Okay, hold on, let's figure it out. I

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Speaker 2: know she was dealing with some physical health issues which

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Speaker 2: caused some mental health issues, and so I talked to

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Speaker 2: her for about twenty minutes, and I said, while I'm

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Speaker 2: on the plane, I'm going to have you text my

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Speaker 2: sister so we can try to find you a new therapist.

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Speaker 2: And I'm gonna also try to find you another medical

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Speaker 2: doctor to help with the situation we're dealing with. Long

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Speaker 2: story short, I land, drop my bags, go to lunch

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Speaker 2: with my bonus sister over there, and got a call

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Speaker 2: that she had shot herself. What when I tell you

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Speaker 2: that that was one of the worst days of my life.

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Speaker 2: I had to immediately find the flight back to America.

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Speaker 2: By the time I got back and got to Great,

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Speaker 2: she was on life support and she passed, And so

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Speaker 2: that year was a really dark year for me, even

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Speaker 2: though I was still working, I was so depressed and

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Speaker 2: trying to figure out, like going back to retrace that

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Speaker 2: phone call, what did I miss? So I was kind

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Speaker 2: of blaming myself, which I know we're not supposed to,

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Speaker 2: but we're human, and so I just blamed myself and

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Speaker 2: that sent me in a downward spial And it's funny.

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Speaker 2: I tell this story all the time because I speak

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Speaker 2: all around the world now sharing my story, trying to

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Speaker 2: be vulnerable and help others. But I almost took my

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Speaker 2: own life in September of twenty fifteen. I had gotten

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Speaker 2: to a point where between my best friend's suicide, my

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Speaker 2: father's suicide, walking away from my career, and I'm pretty

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Speaker 2: I'm an open book. I mean, I have gone from

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Speaker 2: having a lot of money to no money. I walked

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Speaker 2: away from it all so that nest egg went away.

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Speaker 2: And you know how when you consult with artists, some

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Speaker 2: one so are better than others. So I almost lost

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Speaker 2: my home twice and I was like, Okay, God, I

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Speaker 2: don't know what else to do. I think I'm done.

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Speaker 2: I have done all that I think I could do here.

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Speaker 2: I've worked with some of the best artists, and more importantly,

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Speaker 2: I just needed that pain to go away. Yeah, Crystal,

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Speaker 2: I didn't want to die stuff, but I didn't know

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Speaker 2: what else to do. And so I counted up all

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Speaker 2: the pills in my cabinet and I knew that had

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Speaker 2: I stayed in my house that night, I was gonna

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Speaker 2: take them. And so I got out and just started

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Speaker 2: driving around town. And God makes no mistakes. He placed

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Speaker 2: one of my friends in my pathway that night, way

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Speaker 2: on the other side of town.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, what are you doing on this stown?

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Speaker 2: But she knew something wasn't right. I was trying to

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Speaker 2: make a joke of it, but she was like, what's

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Speaker 2: going on? Something's not right. And so I called my sister,

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Speaker 2: who was living in Charlotte at the time, and she

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Speaker 2: convinced me to call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, which

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Speaker 2: is one eight hundred and two seven three talk, but

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Speaker 2: now you can call nine eight eight if you're in crisis.

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Speaker 2: And then I texted my pastor, doctor Warnock, who is

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Speaker 2: now centered to yes cause I'm a member Ebenezer, and

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Speaker 2: he was like, you gotta go to the doctor. Said

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Speaker 2: I'll pray with you.

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Speaker 1: But you need to go to gis some help.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. So I got the help that I needed, went

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Speaker 2: to see a psychiatrist and started on my antidepressants, first

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Speaker 2: time I was ever on an tied the presence and

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Speaker 2: it helped. And so I came up with the hashtag

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Speaker 2: silence for shame. Yeah, and that's how it really all started,

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Speaker 2: just as a hashtag from And I know I probably

364
00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:30,639
Speaker 2: went a long way around no this. I wanted everybody

365
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Speaker 2: to know, like, this is a journey. It wasn't like

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Speaker 2: me jumping on a bandwagon or trying to do something.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I was talking about these issues in twenty

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Speaker 2: fifteen before a lot of people in our community were

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Speaker 2: comfortable with opening up, you know, to share, at least

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Speaker 2: people in the music space right in our circle. Right.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So then it turned into a nonprofit and yeah we've

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Speaker 2: been hope, you know, hopefully saving lives ever since.

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Speaker 1: Wow, what was that healing process like for you when

375
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Speaker 1: you finally said Okay, I'm gonna go get help.

376
00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:07,280
Speaker 2: It was emotional because again I was dealing with a

377
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Speaker 2: lot of honors off trauma about my dad and thinking

378
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Speaker 2: something was wrong with me anyway, even though I was

379
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Speaker 2: this high achiever, and so it was a lot of

380
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Speaker 2: like you know, late nights and tearful nights, but it

381
00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:22,440
Speaker 2: was a sense of relief and I was like, goodness,

382
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Speaker 2: you know, is this what I should have done or

383
00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:26,320
Speaker 2: we as a family should have done years ago. And

384
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Speaker 2: again I have to credit my sister and thank her

385
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Speaker 2: for just always pushing me to be my best self

386
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Speaker 2: and to get the help that we need. Like anybody

387
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:37,359
Speaker 2: that has sisters, y'all got sisters out there, hold on

388
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Speaker 2: to them saying the best thing ever. And it was

389
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Speaker 2: just really tough. But then as things were going great

390
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Speaker 2: with silence to shame, you know, So we started our

391
00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:52,719
Speaker 2: first probably PSA in twenty sixteen, and we had started

392
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Speaker 2: doing a lot of like community work with organizations like

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Speaker 2: Jack and Jill of America and other groups. And then

394
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Speaker 2: in twenty nine I felt like my world stopped.

395
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Speaker 1: My sister passed away.

396
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Speaker 2: Unexpectedly from a blood clot and she had gone back

397
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Speaker 2: to get her degree in counseling. She was she was

398
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Speaker 2: very passionate because we also have another family member that suffers,

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Speaker 2: and so she was dedicated and so we were gonna

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Speaker 2: be like these warriors and mental health together. And she

401
00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:33,720
Speaker 2: was about to start her own practice, and so that

402
00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:36,879
Speaker 2: you talk about the healing process. I thought I was

403
00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:38,960
Speaker 2: doing so good, but then when that happened, that was

404
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:42,200
Speaker 2: a real setback for me. And there were times. If

405
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Speaker 2: anyone has ever lost anybody close to them, it was

406
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Speaker 2: a worse day of my life. And there were times

407
00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:54,520
Speaker 2: where I felt like I couldn't even feel my like

408
00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:56,919
Speaker 2: like it was almost as if like my chest was

409
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Speaker 2: caving in. And so it set me back so much,

410
00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:04,920
Speaker 2: and I was trying not to become deeply depressed again.

411
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Speaker 2: And I finally, like maybe five months in, went to

412
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Speaker 2: grief counseling. It was an organization called grief share dot org,

413
00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:15,840
Speaker 2: which was kind of from a Christian perspective. So it

414
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Speaker 2: really helped me a lot, cause I leaned heavily on

415
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:19,800
Speaker 2: my faith, even though I had a lot of questions

416
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:22,560
Speaker 2: about why it had happened. And so I knew that

417
00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:25,080
Speaker 2: I had started this powerful movement and I couldn't give up,

418
00:20:25,119 --> 00:20:26,960
Speaker 2: but I still had. It was almost like starting the

419
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:30,280
Speaker 2: healing process over again. And then I also had become

420
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Speaker 2: my mom's sole caregiver cause my mother had Alzheimer's and

421
00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:37,080
Speaker 2: I just lost her yea in twenty twenty two. So

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Speaker 2: it's been a lot. Yes, it's been a lot, but

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Speaker 2: I'm still here and I serve a a really good guy.

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Speaker 2: And it's every day I thank and for his grace,

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00:20:46,119 --> 00:20:48,280
Speaker 2: mercy and favor over my life. Yeah cause I know

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Speaker 2: every day's not gonna be a good day, but I'm

427
00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:53,359
Speaker 2: equipped with the tools between silence and shame and all

428
00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:55,800
Speaker 2: the resources that we have, and then everything that I've

429
00:20:55,920 --> 00:21:00,160
Speaker 2: learned as a child of God, knowing that you He's

430
00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:02,200
Speaker 2: gonna take care of us either way. He's gonna see

431
00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:04,560
Speaker 2: us through the storm, or he's gonna be with us

432
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Speaker 2: on those great days and allow us to bask in

433
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Speaker 2: all the blessings of His glory. So absolutely, I live

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Speaker 2: my life one day at a time now, Crystal like

435
00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:18,200
Speaker 2: life be lifing, as we'll say. And you know, as

436
00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:21,639
Speaker 2: I get older and started dealing with more just different

437
00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:23,720
Speaker 2: things in life, I just try to be more present

438
00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:28,680
Speaker 2: for my friends, for my family members, you know, trying

439
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:31,199
Speaker 2: to be more present, you know, as a leader, you know,

440
00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:35,640
Speaker 2: running this nonprofit and just you know, try to help

441
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:38,520
Speaker 2: share and heal in so much darkness in the world.

442
00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:41,200
Speaker 2: That's what I love about you, and I love about

443
00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:43,960
Speaker 2: this show and the name of it being keep it

444
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:47,919
Speaker 2: positive because there's so many people dealing with a lot

445
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:51,880
Speaker 2: of negative things out there, whether it's from a gossip

446
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:55,520
Speaker 2: perspective or hating on other cultures and different things that

447
00:21:55,520 --> 00:22:00,560
Speaker 2: we're experiencing. The world needs more keep it positive, needs

448
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:02,560
Speaker 2: more light. And I just want to be a light

449
00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:06,119
Speaker 2: in health and culture and just try to help people

450
00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:09,520
Speaker 2: be their best self mentally and physically. Yeah, I love that,

451
00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:11,320
Speaker 2: and I feel like it really is an assignment from

452
00:22:11,359 --> 00:22:14,199
Speaker 2: God because he'll take you way down in the valley,

453
00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:16,280
Speaker 2: but if you trust him, he'll pull you back up

454
00:22:16,359 --> 00:22:18,639
Speaker 2: in ways that you could have never imagined. And I

455
00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:20,600
Speaker 2: feel like I'm on my way back up from the valley.

456
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:24,879
Speaker 1: That is so good. You spoke about leaning on your faith,

457
00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:27,960
Speaker 1: and I think a lot of times Christians we feel

458
00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:30,280
Speaker 1: like we don't need there because we have God. You know,

459
00:22:30,359 --> 00:22:33,080
Speaker 1: like I'm good. I'm good. But it's okay to lean

460
00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:35,520
Speaker 1: on your faith and still have questions, like you said,

461
00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:39,800
Speaker 1: And I'm happy that people are now leaning into knowing

462
00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:42,760
Speaker 1: the having that awareness to get help, you know. And

463
00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:45,760
Speaker 1: I love how everything you've been through, I still see

464
00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:48,280
Speaker 1: the light on you. How you can still say God's

465
00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:51,160
Speaker 1: bringing me out of this and still speak positively because

466
00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:53,439
Speaker 1: so many people get stuck in that dark place and

467
00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:55,520
Speaker 1: it's really hard to dig yourself out of it.

468
00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:58,400
Speaker 2: It is, and it's easy to fall back into the track.

469
00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:01,920
Speaker 2: That's why even for me, like my mornings, I try

470
00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:07,280
Speaker 2: to start my mornings from a place of gratitude. Excuse me.

471
00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:10,399
Speaker 2: I try to start my mornings from a place of gratitude.

472
00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:14,560
Speaker 2: And I have some prayers that I watch on YouTube,

473
00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:17,080
Speaker 2: but then I might get on Instagram and I'll scroll

474
00:23:17,119 --> 00:23:20,000
Speaker 2: for a minute. I'm like, you know what, let me

475
00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:22,879
Speaker 2: put this over there, because it's easy to get caught

476
00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:25,800
Speaker 2: up in the cycles and then you get down on

477
00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:29,080
Speaker 2: yourself and then you're looking at somebody else's speak why

478
00:23:29,119 --> 00:23:31,240
Speaker 2: don't I have this? Or why didn't I get invited

479
00:23:31,280 --> 00:23:34,080
Speaker 2: to that? Or you know, being a young black female

480
00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:38,000
Speaker 2: entrepreneur and just a person in society now, we're constantly

481
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:40,600
Speaker 2: comparing with all to others, and so I have to

482
00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:43,919
Speaker 2: feed my own soul and my own spirit. And you know,

483
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:48,480
Speaker 2: it's important for us as humans to have accountability partners,

484
00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:51,399
Speaker 2: but we also have to encourage ourselves. We do, and

485
00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:53,679
Speaker 2: so I try to take again my mornings to be

486
00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:57,159
Speaker 2: grateful and to be at one with God and to

487
00:23:57,280 --> 00:24:00,159
Speaker 2: find my encouragement there first before I go out to

488
00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:00,920
Speaker 2: the world.

489
00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:02,879
Speaker 1: You have to because this world is crazy. If you

490
00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:06,479
Speaker 1: don't go out armored, you are going to get banged up.

491
00:24:07,119 --> 00:24:07,960
Speaker 1: That is so true.

492
00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:11,080
Speaker 2: I have your own protection and ways of support and

493
00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:13,560
Speaker 2: know that, you know what, at the end of the day,

494
00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:17,359
Speaker 2: like I feel like I know my father, my earthly father,

495
00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:20,680
Speaker 2: that's the way, but I still have a dad. God

496
00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:23,320
Speaker 2: is my father, that's it, and he protects me at

497
00:24:23,359 --> 00:24:24,000
Speaker 2: all costs.

498
00:24:24,119 --> 00:24:28,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so good. As you were going through your

499
00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:33,840
Speaker 1: depression and suicidal thoughts, at what point did those feelings

500
00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:36,560
Speaker 1: become shame? And what could you tell Because I know

501
00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:39,280
Speaker 1: other people feel the shame as well. I felt it.

502
00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:41,600
Speaker 1: What would you tell somebody else who may be feeling it?

503
00:24:42,119 --> 00:24:48,399
Speaker 2: Heavy question? You know, as I was dealing with my

504
00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:55,320
Speaker 2: depression and my anxiety and contemplating suicide, I was embarrassed

505
00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:59,639
Speaker 2: in a shame to see a crystal renade or to

506
00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:04,280
Speaker 2: see a big boy or did my brother didn't even

507
00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:07,240
Speaker 2: know my blood brother didn't even know I was contemplating suicide.

508
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:11,480
Speaker 2: There is so much shame and stigma around mental health

509
00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:13,960
Speaker 2: and mental illness in this country that it can be

510
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:18,200
Speaker 2: smothering at times. And so it was my own ego

511
00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:21,680
Speaker 2: and my own shame that kept me from really talking

512
00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:24,040
Speaker 2: a lot about it and getting the help a lot sooner.

513
00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:29,399
Speaker 2: Maybe had I silenced my own shame back then and

514
00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:31,480
Speaker 2: gotten the help sooner, I would not have gotten to

515
00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:34,280
Speaker 2: the point where I seriously contemplated work in my own life.

516
00:25:34,359 --> 00:25:38,320
Speaker 2: But I didn't want to walk up in an event

517
00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:42,920
Speaker 2: and have somebody say like, oh my god, Shanty's crazy or.

518
00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:44,880
Speaker 1: Right, because that's what people would think.

519
00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:48,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, of course, and I'm sure people think it all

520
00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:51,879
Speaker 2: the time. I remember the first time, it was maybe

521
00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:56,720
Speaker 2: in twenty seventeen or twenty eighteen. I had gotten into

522
00:25:56,800 --> 00:26:01,359
Speaker 2: the jay Z Brunch in Rock Nation Runch and it

523
00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:04,760
Speaker 2: was the first time I had been around my peers,

524
00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:10,520
Speaker 2: you know, since everything had happened, And even then I

525
00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:13,640
Speaker 2: was a little nervous, and you know, I didn't have

526
00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:16,800
Speaker 2: I'm gonna get emotional. I don't know why, but people don't.

527
00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:20,119
Speaker 2: It was hard. It was hard going from being on

528
00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:23,760
Speaker 2: top to being at the lowest point in your life

529
00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:27,280
Speaker 2: and having so much complete shame about feelings that are

530
00:26:27,359 --> 00:26:30,760
Speaker 2: natural and normal. If we would normalize feelings in this country,

531
00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:33,840
Speaker 2: we wouldn't have the shame and stigma. But you know,

532
00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:37,239
Speaker 2: working into an industry like the entertainment industry, and you know,

533
00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:42,159
Speaker 2: it's very aspirational and everybody's always in their Sunday.

534
00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:43,640
Speaker 1: Best outfit and you.

535
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:45,480
Speaker 2: Know all that stuff. But I remember being at the

536
00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:50,040
Speaker 2: Rock Nation brunch feeling less than and feeling like I

537
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:56,199
Speaker 2: didn't belong and it was oh, I know, but again

538
00:26:56,720 --> 00:26:58,639
Speaker 2: it's just it was a low point for me. And

539
00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:01,960
Speaker 2: even walking in then, how having overcome a lot of that,

540
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:04,800
Speaker 2: people still weren't talking about mental health. This was pre pandemic.

541
00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:08,080
Speaker 2: And so it was my friend John Platt who helped

542
00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:10,440
Speaker 2: me get in, who's been a complete blessing in my life.

543
00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:14,040
Speaker 2: He's a chairman and CEO of Sony Music Publishing, but

544
00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:16,800
Speaker 2: we go way back. He still saw me, and I

545
00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:18,960
Speaker 2: appreciated that for him seeing me, but I had so

546
00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:21,960
Speaker 2: much shame and embarrassment. I didn't want jay Z and

547
00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:24,600
Speaker 2: Beyonce and all of them to know, you know that

548
00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:28,160
Speaker 2: here I am Shanty Dyes, who was number two under

549
00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:30,360
Speaker 2: Sylvia Rohn, had worked for Donnie iron Or, had worked

550
00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:33,520
Speaker 2: for Prince, had worked for La Red. Was you know

551
00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:37,000
Speaker 2: what they call crazy. I don't think the word crazy

552
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:38,639
Speaker 2: should be used at all. And I don't think I

553
00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:41,080
Speaker 2: was crazy. I just don't think I was able to

554
00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:43,520
Speaker 2: control my thoughts and emotions and I just needed some

555
00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:47,399
Speaker 2: help exactly. But now everybody talks about now, but I

556
00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:50,560
Speaker 2: wasn't through a lot of personal shame and again shame

557
00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:52,840
Speaker 2: within my own family. I opened up to my sister,

558
00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:56,000
Speaker 2: but very few people in my family really knew what

559
00:27:56,080 --> 00:27:58,560
Speaker 2: I was going through and knew the story until it

560
00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:01,959
Speaker 2: started coming out. Because you know, again, you know, we

561
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:04,679
Speaker 2: don't do a good job of giving people enough grace

562
00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:10,399
Speaker 2: in this world. And let me tell y'all something, as

563
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:12,760
Speaker 2: my mama used to say, keep on living and you

564
00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:17,040
Speaker 2: will go through things in life. Well you wish that

565
00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:20,000
Speaker 2: you had the grace or that you could bestow grace

566
00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:23,360
Speaker 2: upon people who need it. Everybody is going through something.

567
00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:28,480
Speaker 2: We wear these masks on social media, we hide behind

568
00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:33,840
Speaker 2: these posts, and however many amount of characters when all

569
00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:36,280
Speaker 2: of us are going through something, and if we would

570
00:28:36,600 --> 00:28:39,840
Speaker 2: just hold on a minute and try to lead with

571
00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:43,320
Speaker 2: a little bit more empathy and less sympathy, I don't

572
00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:45,360
Speaker 2: need you to feel sorry for me. I just need

573
00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:48,920
Speaker 2: you to understand that my wife took a turn and

574
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:51,680
Speaker 2: it was tough, but through the grace of God, I

575
00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:54,400
Speaker 2: got back up on my feet to do something even

576
00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:58,440
Speaker 2: greater than I thought I ever could. And I, even

577
00:28:58,520 --> 00:29:02,680
Speaker 2: working in the entertainment industry, I used to think professing

578
00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:05,440
Speaker 2: my love for Christ and for the Lord was corny.

579
00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:10,040
Speaker 2: Nobody really talked about God in the business that much.

580
00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:12,480
Speaker 2: And I know it's like church and states sometimes with

581
00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:16,160
Speaker 2: business in any company, right, But it was until I

582
00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:19,280
Speaker 2: went through and hit rock bottom that I was like,

583
00:29:20,080 --> 00:29:22,720
Speaker 2: never will I ever be as I said, never have

584
00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:26,600
Speaker 2: you ever, Never will I ever not say how much

585
00:29:26,680 --> 00:29:29,320
Speaker 2: I love the Lord, how much He has gotten me

586
00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:33,120
Speaker 2: through with you. And so it is me flipping that

587
00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:37,920
Speaker 2: right and silencing my shame, leading with grace and bestowing

588
00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:42,640
Speaker 2: grace upon people who even have maybe you know, turned

589
00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:45,240
Speaker 2: their head to me, you know, or not return the

590
00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:48,160
Speaker 2: phone call when I was in the valley. And I

591
00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:51,320
Speaker 2: try to lead by grace and create safe spaces for

592
00:29:51,360 --> 00:29:53,160
Speaker 2: people to be able to open up and be vulnerable,

593
00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:56,720
Speaker 2: more importantly, to heal. I want people to know that

594
00:29:56,840 --> 00:30:00,280
Speaker 2: hope is alive and that healing is always possible. And

595
00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:02,480
Speaker 2: you get yourself some good friends around you, some good

596
00:30:02,480 --> 00:30:07,440
Speaker 2: accountability partners, some faith friends and spiritual leaders, and and

597
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:11,120
Speaker 2: just mind your own business and focus one day at

598
00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:14,120
Speaker 2: a time. Yes, And so that's how I was able

599
00:30:14,120 --> 00:30:18,200
Speaker 2: to silence my shame and to just not worry about

600
00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:20,640
Speaker 2: what the Joneses were saying and trying to keep up

601
00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:23,480
Speaker 2: with everybody. Yeah, I just keep up with shanty Joys.

602
00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:29,600
Speaker 2: That's enough. So if I focus on me in my life,

603
00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:32,520
Speaker 2: you know, I'm okay now. Now I can walk into

604
00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:36,200
Speaker 2: those rooms, and I know that I shouldn't have held

605
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:38,680
Speaker 2: my head low, but I'm human. But I walk into

606
00:30:38,760 --> 00:30:41,840
Speaker 2: the rooms now with my head held high. You do,

607
00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:45,320
Speaker 2: whether I have file out five dollars in my bank

608
00:30:45,320 --> 00:30:48,200
Speaker 2: account of one thousand dollars, it doesn't matter. Yeah, you know,

609
00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:49,880
Speaker 2: none of that matters at the end of the day.

610
00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:52,680
Speaker 2: We can't take any of it with us. It's about

611
00:30:52,680 --> 00:30:55,680
Speaker 2: how you treat people while you're here. And so I

612
00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:58,880
Speaker 2: am letting God and Grace lead me. And that's enough

613
00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:00,720
Speaker 2: for me. I love that, and that's why I feel

614
00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:01,480
Speaker 2: like I'm enough now.

615
00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:06,280
Speaker 1: Yes, you are, we are, so really, I guess what

616
00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:10,040
Speaker 1: inspired the shift was really you going through your own.

617
00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:12,840
Speaker 2: It was, Yeah, the shift was definitely from or the

618
00:31:12,880 --> 00:31:15,120
Speaker 2: shift or pivot, whatever you want to call. It was

619
00:31:15,600 --> 00:31:18,040
Speaker 2: me going through my own troubles right and my child's

620
00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:21,800
Speaker 2: and tribulations. And I always knew that I had a

621
00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:24,880
Speaker 2: heart forgiving because growing up my mom we would go

622
00:31:24,960 --> 00:31:29,680
Speaker 2: to church, and we would drive downtown and we would

623
00:31:29,680 --> 00:31:32,080
Speaker 2: see men living under the bridge, and my mom would

624
00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:34,920
Speaker 2: literally cook for them. Really, we would pack meals. You

625
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:37,880
Speaker 2: saw that girl like you really bring it dinner, Like

626
00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:40,640
Speaker 2: she's like, yeah, So my mom had a really good heart.

627
00:31:41,080 --> 00:31:43,280
Speaker 2: Like you know how you have different family members, Like

628
00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:47,280
Speaker 2: I got my faith and my love of giving right

629
00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:50,480
Speaker 2: and community from my mother, and so, like I mentioned

630
00:31:50,480 --> 00:31:52,400
Speaker 2: when I first met you, I started doing so much

631
00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:55,360
Speaker 2: community service work. Like even right when I left Motown,

632
00:31:55,800 --> 00:31:59,680
Speaker 2: I read about the city of Detroit. Shout out to Detroit. Yes,

633
00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:03,040
Speaker 2: I don't really have any connections there, but the city

634
00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:07,680
Speaker 2: had lost funding and there were bodies buried in the

635
00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:11,560
Speaker 2: more people couldn't bury their families for like months because

636
00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:14,840
Speaker 2: families just couldn't afford it. So the last thing I

637
00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:16,920
Speaker 2: did before I left New York was I raised like

638
00:32:17,120 --> 00:32:20,520
Speaker 2: almost forty thousand dollars or thirty thousand dollars, and we

639
00:32:20,560 --> 00:32:23,680
Speaker 2: buried thirty people, just complete strangers in New York.

640
00:32:23,840 --> 00:32:25,160
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness.

641
00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:28,440
Speaker 2: And I didn't want nothing from it. I just wanted

642
00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:30,640
Speaker 2: to give some dignity back, you know, to some of

643
00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:33,680
Speaker 2: these families. And that just struck a nerve in me.

644
00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:35,600
Speaker 2: And it was the first time I think I listened

645
00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:38,760
Speaker 2: to God saying like, I have bigger plans for you. Yeah.

646
00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:41,840
Speaker 2: It's like the music was one thing, but He placed

647
00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:43,560
Speaker 2: me over here so that I could really could be

648
00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:46,480
Speaker 2: a servant leader. And that's when I started understanding what

649
00:32:46,560 --> 00:32:50,360
Speaker 2: servant leadership was and what it was to like really

650
00:32:50,400 --> 00:32:53,920
Speaker 2: like put others before myself to try to give back.

651
00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:56,680
Speaker 2: And so I love that God gave me a heart

652
00:32:56,720 --> 00:32:59,480
Speaker 2: of service. It's a beautiful thing. That word.

653
00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:02,600
Speaker 1: He was coming up in episodes when I talk to people, Yes,

654
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:06,400
Speaker 1: service serving. Yeah, when people ask like, well how did you,

655
00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:10,160
Speaker 1: they always say my service and honoring what God has

656
00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:10,560
Speaker 1: given me.

657
00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:11,440
Speaker 2: You have to do that?

658
00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:12,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, what is it?

659
00:33:12,840 --> 00:33:15,280
Speaker 2: What's the saying too much?

660
00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:16,800
Speaker 1: Absolutely?

661
00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:20,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's what I love now. And so that pivot

662
00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:25,040
Speaker 2: and that shift was something that was natural, which I

663
00:33:25,040 --> 00:33:27,520
Speaker 2: didn't even realize that, yes, that God would have me

664
00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:31,600
Speaker 2: in this place now running a nonprofit and being a voice.

665
00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:34,959
Speaker 2: I would like to think of a critical voice in

666
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:37,680
Speaker 2: the community as relates to wellness for our community.

667
00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:42,240
Speaker 1: Yes, for sure. I noticed that during the pandemic is

668
00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:46,120
Speaker 1: when our culture really started getting into therapy. What do

669
00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:47,200
Speaker 1: you think that shift was?

670
00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:49,800
Speaker 2: Well, you know, I tell people the pandemic was the

671
00:33:49,840 --> 00:33:52,000
Speaker 2: first time I think that we all realized we had

672
00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:55,240
Speaker 2: mental health. Because people be like, oh, yeah, mental health,

673
00:33:55,280 --> 00:33:58,800
Speaker 2: that thing mental health. I'm like, try, we all got

674
00:33:58,840 --> 00:34:02,760
Speaker 2: mental health and mental illness. And so mental health is

675
00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:05,640
Speaker 2: how you think, how you act, and how you feel. Right.

676
00:34:05,720 --> 00:34:07,840
Speaker 2: It's the ability to get up and have the wherewithal

677
00:34:08,239 --> 00:34:11,320
Speaker 2: to go about our day, right. And so in the pandemic,

678
00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:15,000
Speaker 2: it was like, whoa, what's going on? We can't go outside,

679
00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:19,480
Speaker 2: we can't go to work. Some people are losing you know, money, jobs,

680
00:34:20,239 --> 00:34:22,680
Speaker 2: you losing a sense of family and community. You couldn't

681
00:34:22,719 --> 00:34:26,319
Speaker 2: go to weddings or funerals. Can you imagine not being

682
00:34:26,320 --> 00:34:28,520
Speaker 2: able to go to a funeral of your loved one

683
00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:31,319
Speaker 2: or not even be able to have a service, right,

684
00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:35,279
Speaker 2: So it stripped that dignity from us, and the isolation.

685
00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:38,120
Speaker 2: More than anything else, I think it allowed us to

686
00:34:38,200 --> 00:34:41,680
Speaker 2: have to sit and deal with our feelings. You got

687
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:48,719
Speaker 2: people that are in domestic abuse situations, toxic households and families.

688
00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:52,080
Speaker 2: Aside from the loving families, it's a lot of people

689
00:34:52,080 --> 00:34:54,239
Speaker 2: that are in tough situations in their home life. And

690
00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:58,000
Speaker 2: so people are stressed out beyond belief. And then you

691
00:34:58,040 --> 00:35:01,920
Speaker 2: think about a lot of people that thrive like being

692
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:04,400
Speaker 2: in the in the space and presence of others, Like

693
00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:06,239
Speaker 2: you might like to be around people, so you might

694
00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:09,319
Speaker 2: be a bartender right yes, or in your industry right

695
00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:12,480
Speaker 2: working on movie sets. All of that was stripped away,

696
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:15,959
Speaker 2: and so I think it was an extremely scary time.

697
00:35:16,120 --> 00:35:19,239
Speaker 2: So especially for creatives and people like us girl, we

698
00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:21,160
Speaker 2: had to sit and be all up in our feelings,

699
00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:24,160
Speaker 2: as they say, more than we wanted to be, and

700
00:35:24,280 --> 00:35:27,640
Speaker 2: people weren't really they didn't understand or were equipped with

701
00:35:27,680 --> 00:35:29,360
Speaker 2: some of the tools of how to cope. So that

702
00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:32,319
Speaker 2: first year twenty twenty was tough on everybody. And that's

703
00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:35,799
Speaker 2: why I started. I started interviewing celebrities. I started my

704
00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:39,120
Speaker 2: own little ig live show called Yeah Wellness, and I

705
00:35:39,160 --> 00:35:43,760
Speaker 2: interviewed everybody from Chuck d to Common to Tisha Campbell,

706
00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:49,160
Speaker 2: all different folks, Swiss beats about mental health and you

707
00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:52,880
Speaker 2: know D Nice. Shout out to d Nice got us

708
00:35:52,880 --> 00:35:55,320
Speaker 2: through a lot. You know that saying last night, a

709
00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:57,880
Speaker 2: DJ saved my life could have never rang true or

710
00:35:57,960 --> 00:36:02,360
Speaker 2: more true, right, right. But everybody was dealing with their feelings,

711
00:36:02,440 --> 00:36:04,080
Speaker 2: I think for the first time, because I think a

712
00:36:04,080 --> 00:36:08,040
Speaker 2: lot of times in our community and beyond, we try

713
00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:10,560
Speaker 2: to compartmentalize our feelings and we were like, Okay, let

714
00:36:10,600 --> 00:36:12,240
Speaker 2: me place this over here, put this in my pocket,

715
00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:14,440
Speaker 2: and I deal with it later. We couldn't really do

716
00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:16,960
Speaker 2: that as much in the pandemic. And then you add

717
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:20,480
Speaker 2: what we experienced in terms of racial trauma as a culture,

718
00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:24,160
Speaker 2: and we saw what happened with George Floyd. May he

719
00:36:24,239 --> 00:36:27,200
Speaker 2: rest in peace and blessings and prayers of comfort to

720
00:36:27,239 --> 00:36:33,360
Speaker 2: his family. We literally watched the brutality over and over again,

721
00:36:33,520 --> 00:36:35,880
Speaker 2: a mode obvary like so many different people, and so

722
00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:38,520
Speaker 2: there was a lot of trauma on us as a

723
00:36:38,560 --> 00:36:41,759
Speaker 2: people and as a nation, and so we didn't know

724
00:36:41,800 --> 00:36:43,480
Speaker 2: how to get through one day to the other. And

725
00:36:43,520 --> 00:36:47,240
Speaker 2: so the interesting thing is I thought that I wouldn't

726
00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:49,520
Speaker 2: have a lot to do during the pandemic, and I

727
00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:52,200
Speaker 2: was busier than I had ever been. I did more

728
00:36:52,239 --> 00:36:58,160
Speaker 2: webinars and ig Lives and talks, and God again set

729
00:36:58,239 --> 00:37:00,839
Speaker 2: me up for that moment, you know, from a mental

730
00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:03,760
Speaker 2: health perspective, to be able to help heal our culture

731
00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:07,280
Speaker 2: and out of that I was just, you know, so inspired,

732
00:37:07,320 --> 00:37:10,160
Speaker 2: and my team was so grateful to people like Kerrie Hilson,

733
00:37:10,200 --> 00:37:13,239
Speaker 2: who spoke about her depression for the first time on

734
00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:16,000
Speaker 2: a Silence of Shane panel, and you know, Celo Green

735
00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:20,279
Speaker 2: and artists like Big crit You did a one on

736
00:37:20,280 --> 00:37:23,120
Speaker 2: one with me talking about what he had experienced with

737
00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:26,560
Speaker 2: substance abuse. And you know, so many artists g Herbol

738
00:37:26,640 --> 00:37:28,960
Speaker 2: that I talked to, and I even did a talk

739
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:31,320
Speaker 2: with Sweedi, you know, during the pandemic, a lot of

740
00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:34,520
Speaker 2: young and older artists, and it was I was very

741
00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:37,200
Speaker 2: humble to be in that position, but very grateful to

742
00:37:37,239 --> 00:37:39,880
Speaker 2: be able to assist the community. And so I feel

743
00:37:39,880 --> 00:37:42,720
Speaker 2: like people felt like Silence to Shane was a safe

744
00:37:42,719 --> 00:37:45,399
Speaker 2: place and I think still is a safe place because

745
00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:47,879
Speaker 2: even just earlier this year, in May, which is Mental

746
00:37:47,920 --> 00:37:51,000
Speaker 2: Health Awareness, my DJ Drama, who we all love, yeah,

747
00:37:51,040 --> 00:37:54,960
Speaker 2: the hottest artists and mixtape DJs out there, he spoke

748
00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:58,919
Speaker 2: publicly for the first time about his addiction and he's

749
00:37:58,920 --> 00:38:01,880
Speaker 2: been sober for over year now, and he waited to

750
00:38:01,920 --> 00:38:07,560
Speaker 2: have that conversation with me. That's all God, yeah, you know,

751
00:38:07,880 --> 00:38:13,960
Speaker 2: allowing me to be vulnerable and transparent and humbling myself

752
00:38:14,640 --> 00:38:17,160
Speaker 2: so that I can put others first and all that

753
00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:19,680
Speaker 2: they're dealing with. But I don't think I would have

754
00:38:19,760 --> 00:38:22,920
Speaker 2: been able to do all of this again, going back

755
00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:25,160
Speaker 2: to your question, had I not been in the valley

756
00:38:25,520 --> 00:38:28,600
Speaker 2: and gone through my own level of trauma and stress

757
00:38:29,239 --> 00:38:31,480
Speaker 2: and for people to see me coming out on the other.

758
00:38:31,360 --> 00:38:34,319
Speaker 1: Side, yes, it's encouraging. Yeah.

759
00:38:34,360 --> 00:38:37,520
Speaker 2: And I still have my moments, you know, I still

760
00:38:37,719 --> 00:38:42,560
Speaker 2: struggle with the grief. I still struggle every blue moon.

761
00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:46,360
Speaker 2: You know, there'll be like a fleeting moment of or

762
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:48,760
Speaker 2: am I supposed to still be here? What am I doing?

763
00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:51,000
Speaker 2: And then I feel like that's just the devil and

764
00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:52,759
Speaker 2: I have to block it out or I'll you know,

765
00:38:52,880 --> 00:38:56,439
Speaker 2: book a therapy session or travel. I love to travel too,

766
00:38:56,520 --> 00:38:59,319
Speaker 2: and that is what keeps me saying. But I love

767
00:38:59,360 --> 00:39:00,480
Speaker 2: I love the work.

768
00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:02,799
Speaker 1: I love that you talked about all the artists that

769
00:39:02,880 --> 00:39:06,839
Speaker 1: you spoke with during the pandemic, and now I see

770
00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:09,160
Speaker 1: a lot of artist, especially rappers, that are speaking out

771
00:39:09,160 --> 00:39:13,359
Speaker 1: publicly about the importance of therapy from Giz. He just

772
00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:16,719
Speaker 1: came out with a book and he spoke about how

773
00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:20,080
Speaker 1: therapy has helped him he knew he needed it. Jay

774
00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:24,080
Speaker 1: Z has talked about it, Kendrick Lamar Andre is spoken

775
00:39:24,080 --> 00:39:27,160
Speaker 1: out about it, so many artists and black men. What

776
00:39:27,160 --> 00:39:29,719
Speaker 1: do you feel like it is about our black men

777
00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:32,759
Speaker 1: in our community that is making them realize I need

778
00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:33,479
Speaker 1: to get some help.

779
00:39:33,920 --> 00:39:36,279
Speaker 2: That's a great question. And then you know, shout out

780
00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:40,920
Speaker 2: to to g Z, jay Z Andre, Kendrick's whole album pretty.

781
00:39:40,760 --> 00:39:43,520
Speaker 1: Much literally I love.

782
00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:49,840
Speaker 2: You know, black men I think have been taught for years,

783
00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:54,359
Speaker 2: right in centuries, to suppress their feelings and that they

784
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:56,960
Speaker 2: always have to be the strong ones and that they're weak,

785
00:39:57,520 --> 00:40:01,000
Speaker 2: you know if they, you know, show sign of vulnerability,

786
00:40:01,200 --> 00:40:03,840
Speaker 2: and that can be the farthest thing through, you know,

787
00:40:03,880 --> 00:40:06,399
Speaker 2: from the truth. And so I do think black men

788
00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:08,839
Speaker 2: are now at a point, having dealt with so much

789
00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:14,360
Speaker 2: from racial inequality and police brutality, that they're now finally

790
00:40:14,400 --> 00:40:18,600
Speaker 2: getting this sense of you know what, it's okay not

791
00:40:18,719 --> 00:40:22,440
Speaker 2: to be okay and those leaders that you mentioned in

792
00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:24,640
Speaker 2: the culture and in the community coming out saying it's

793
00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:27,560
Speaker 2: okay to open up and talk to someone. And then

794
00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:31,000
Speaker 2: also I have to credit, you know, our black women

795
00:40:31,200 --> 00:40:34,239
Speaker 2: for giving the black men permission, you know, to be

796
00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:36,360
Speaker 2: vulnerable within their own families.

797
00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:37,080
Speaker 1: We have to do that.

798
00:40:37,160 --> 00:40:38,920
Speaker 2: We have to do that. We got to come together

799
00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:41,759
Speaker 2: as a collective unit and family, you know. And I'm

800
00:40:41,800 --> 00:40:45,800
Speaker 2: not saying, you know that we dwell on the negativity,

801
00:40:45,840 --> 00:40:47,920
Speaker 2: but you got to allow the man and the woman

802
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:50,719
Speaker 2: each you know, to deal with their own, you know,

803
00:40:50,880 --> 00:40:55,480
Speaker 2: vulnerabilities and frustrations, and especially teaching our young black boys

804
00:40:55,520 --> 00:40:58,160
Speaker 2: that it's okay to be vulnerable, because suicide rates in

805
00:40:58,200 --> 00:41:00,919
Speaker 2: the last three years have been up for black youth

806
00:41:01,200 --> 00:41:05,960
Speaker 2: thirty six percent. And so we're just at a critical

807
00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:08,719
Speaker 2: point in our country and in our nation so that

808
00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:11,319
Speaker 2: we allow and empower our black men to be able

809
00:41:11,360 --> 00:41:14,000
Speaker 2: to tell their truth and tell their stories. I have

810
00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:15,640
Speaker 2: to also applaud.

811
00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:17,000
Speaker 1: King J.

812
00:41:17,200 --> 00:41:20,400
Speaker 2: Doctor King J. Barnett, who is a former NFL player

813
00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:24,720
Speaker 2: and is now a therapist, and my friend Lamar Rucker, who.

814
00:41:24,560 --> 00:41:25,720
Speaker 1: I'm sure your friend.

815
00:41:26,280 --> 00:41:29,440
Speaker 2: They have a tour called Just He'll bro and they

816
00:41:29,480 --> 00:41:32,880
Speaker 2: go into major cities and host these intimate conversation for

817
00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:34,840
Speaker 2: black men and black boys, and it's just such a

818
00:41:34,840 --> 00:41:37,640
Speaker 2: beautiful thing. To see that our black men are finally

819
00:41:37,680 --> 00:41:42,319
Speaker 2: embracing all sides of their feelings, right and not suppressing

820
00:41:42,360 --> 00:41:46,799
Speaker 2: any of it. And they're not, you know, using it

821
00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:49,399
Speaker 2: as a sign of weakness, right, They're actually looking at

822
00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:51,560
Speaker 2: it as one of their superpowers, right. And so I

823
00:41:51,600 --> 00:41:54,600
Speaker 2: love that and I think we're seeing a lot of

824
00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:58,759
Speaker 2: transformation in a positive way. And hopefully people in our communities,

825
00:41:58,920 --> 00:42:03,040
Speaker 2: especially in athlete our athletes and entertainers will continue to

826
00:42:03,120 --> 00:42:06,319
Speaker 2: use their voices for good and let people know that

827
00:42:06,360 --> 00:42:10,320
Speaker 2: it's okay to have a vulnerable side, right and more importantly,

828
00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:12,040
Speaker 2: to get the help that you need. You don't want

829
00:42:12,080 --> 00:42:14,040
Speaker 2: you to just open up those steelings just to sit

830
00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:17,080
Speaker 2: with them, sit with them with a therapist right on

831
00:42:17,120 --> 00:42:20,719
Speaker 2: somebody's it gets Yeah.

832
00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:25,040
Speaker 1: Absolutely, your life has so much purpose, Shanti, And I'm

833
00:42:25,120 --> 00:42:29,319
Speaker 1: just so grateful that you didn't let those urges get

834
00:42:29,320 --> 00:42:33,080
Speaker 1: the best of you because the world needs you, like seriously,

835
00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:36,600
Speaker 1: with everything that you've been through, what do you want

836
00:42:36,640 --> 00:42:37,600
Speaker 1: your legacy to be?

837
00:42:40,120 --> 00:42:42,560
Speaker 2: I just want people to always know that I care.

838
00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:46,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel that I do every time around you.

839
00:42:46,360 --> 00:42:50,759
Speaker 2: I meet strangers all the time, Crystal. I just met

840
00:42:50,760 --> 00:42:53,080
Speaker 2: a lady the other day I'm running errands in the

841
00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:57,440
Speaker 2: mall and she was like, are you a lady And

842
00:42:57,520 --> 00:42:59,640
Speaker 2: I said yes. She said, oh my god, I've been

843
00:42:59,680 --> 00:43:02,880
Speaker 2: following you for five years wow, since she was in

844
00:43:02,960 --> 00:43:05,480
Speaker 2: graduate school and now she has her own practice. She

845
00:43:05,520 --> 00:43:07,000
Speaker 2: was like, you were a big part of why I

846
00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:10,399
Speaker 2: wanted to start my practice. I was like, what I mean?

847
00:43:10,480 --> 00:43:13,640
Speaker 2: And then I was in the airport and ran into

848
00:43:13,640 --> 00:43:16,920
Speaker 2: another lady literally six in the morning, waiting to get breakfast,

849
00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:19,680
Speaker 2: and I had like the morning look on my face,

850
00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:22,520
Speaker 2: try to pull it together the same thing. Are you

851
00:43:22,560 --> 00:43:24,319
Speaker 2: shanty Das And she said, oh my god, can.

852
00:43:24,239 --> 00:43:24,840
Speaker 1: I just hug you?

853
00:43:24,920 --> 00:43:27,960
Speaker 2: And I was like okay, and she was like, no,

854
00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:31,200
Speaker 2: you don't understand. You helped my family so much, wow

855
00:43:31,320 --> 00:43:33,360
Speaker 2: a couple of years ago because they had a family.

856
00:43:33,440 --> 00:43:35,160
Speaker 2: And I try to you know, people a DM me

857
00:43:35,200 --> 00:43:37,480
Speaker 2: and I try to respond we in silence a shame.

858
00:43:37,520 --> 00:43:40,439
Speaker 2: We don't do direct services, but we try to push

859
00:43:40,440 --> 00:43:43,040
Speaker 2: people to the resources. So if I can can just

860
00:43:43,280 --> 00:43:45,440
Speaker 2: continue to be a light. I thought I wanted my

861
00:43:45,560 --> 00:43:49,880
Speaker 2: legacy to be Shanty Das the music executive, but I

862
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:55,400
Speaker 2: wanted to be Shanty Dos the health advocate right and

863
00:43:55,920 --> 00:43:58,080
Speaker 2: just the human being I want people to see me

864
00:43:58,600 --> 00:44:00,600
Speaker 2: and I want people to know I see them and

865
00:44:00,719 --> 00:44:01,799
Speaker 2: I'm there to support them.

866
00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:04,319
Speaker 1: Well, guess what, I see you, I do it. I'm

867
00:44:04,440 --> 00:44:06,440
Speaker 1: so so proud of you, and I'm glad that you

868
00:44:06,640 --> 00:44:08,800
Speaker 1: made the pivot and the shift to do this because

869
00:44:08,840 --> 00:44:12,960
Speaker 1: you are making an incredible change on the world. Thank you.

870
00:44:13,080 --> 00:44:17,439
Speaker 2: It's all again God ordained. And now to be able

871
00:44:17,480 --> 00:44:19,520
Speaker 2: to have my own personal thing with the Mebo Show,

872
00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:22,640
Speaker 2: I'm excited about that because that podcast focuses on mental

873
00:44:22,680 --> 00:44:25,120
Speaker 2: and physical health. So like being able to talk to

874
00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:27,800
Speaker 2: hip hop artists Eric Sermon about heart health.

875
00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:29,080
Speaker 1: Yes, which heart.

876
00:44:28,840 --> 00:44:31,800
Speaker 2: Disease runs in my family. Diabetes runs in my family.

877
00:44:32,320 --> 00:44:34,799
Speaker 2: You know, I really want to just continue putting out

878
00:44:34,840 --> 00:44:37,200
Speaker 2: so much information so that we can be our best

879
00:44:37,280 --> 00:44:38,720
Speaker 2: selves physically and mentally.

880
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:42,239
Speaker 1: I love that, Shaty, Thank you, thank you, so.

881
00:44:42,360 --> 00:44:43,200
Speaker 2: Proud of you.

882
00:44:43,440 --> 00:44:43,759
Speaker 1: Thank you.

883
00:44:43,680 --> 00:44:45,480
Speaker 2: You didn't get to talk about how much I love you.

884
00:44:45,560 --> 00:44:47,840
Speaker 1: I'm so proud of you. Like, but no, this is

885
00:44:47,880 --> 00:44:51,200
Speaker 1: about you today, like seriously, Like I wanted to spread

886
00:44:51,200 --> 00:44:53,040
Speaker 1: the word and let people know what you're doing because

887
00:44:53,080 --> 00:44:55,719
Speaker 1: it's so impactful. It means a lot to me and

888
00:44:55,760 --> 00:44:57,440
Speaker 1: to our community and a lot of people don't know

889
00:44:57,480 --> 00:44:59,640
Speaker 1: where they can go, so I wanted to make sure

890
00:44:59,680 --> 00:45:02,360
Speaker 1: that if they had a question, we got.

891
00:45:02,160 --> 00:45:06,759
Speaker 2: Something on my website www. Dot Silence to Shame dot com.

892
00:45:06,800 --> 00:45:10,000
Speaker 2: We have a ton of free resources available, and we

893
00:45:10,120 --> 00:45:12,960
Speaker 2: just want you to know that it's okay not being okay.

894
00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:15,359
Speaker 2: Can we repeat something that I love that I say

895
00:45:15,360 --> 00:45:18,439
Speaker 2: when I do talks. Absolutely, I am love, I am love,

896
00:45:18,800 --> 00:45:19,759
Speaker 2: I am peace, I.

897
00:45:19,719 --> 00:45:22,160
Speaker 1: Am peace, I am joy, I am joy.

898
00:45:22,360 --> 00:45:23,960
Speaker 2: I am everything I need to be.

899
00:45:24,200 --> 00:45:25,640
Speaker 1: I am everything I need to be.

900
00:45:26,239 --> 00:45:29,720
Speaker 2: I I am am enough.

901
00:45:30,239 --> 00:45:33,360
Speaker 1: Oh enough. I love that.

902
00:45:33,560 --> 00:45:35,560
Speaker 2: As long as we know that we are enough in

903
00:45:35,560 --> 00:45:38,640
Speaker 2: this crazy, crazy world, we'll be okay.

904
00:45:38,800 --> 00:45:40,120
Speaker 1: Yes, I love that.

905
00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:41,600
Speaker 2: I love you. I love you.

906
00:45:41,880 --> 00:45:48,520
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. We're going to get into. One

907
00:45:48,520 --> 00:45:51,040
Speaker 1: of my favorite parts is when the listeners write into us.

908
00:45:51,080 --> 00:45:53,560
Speaker 1: It's called positive outcomes, and we give them advice.

909
00:45:53,600 --> 00:45:57,000
Speaker 2: Oh I saw somebody, Yeah, I watch yeah, Okay.

910
00:45:56,480 --> 00:45:59,120
Speaker 1: And this one says, hello, Crystal. I am twenty six

911
00:45:59,239 --> 00:46:02,279
Speaker 1: years old. Growing up, I've had many struggles with older men,

912
00:46:02,400 --> 00:46:05,879
Speaker 1: and I've been sexually abused multiple times. Sometimes I really

913
00:46:05,960 --> 00:46:08,279
Speaker 1: don't know where I am and what it is that

914
00:46:08,360 --> 00:46:10,960
Speaker 1: I want. I often lose touching my faith and I

915
00:46:10,960 --> 00:46:14,040
Speaker 1: get really depressed. My anxiety keeps me up at night.

916
00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:17,840
Speaker 1: If I don't find a way to drain myself to sleep,

917
00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:20,640
Speaker 1: I have nightmares most of the time that keep me

918
00:46:20,680 --> 00:46:23,440
Speaker 1: from having good days. I've talked about my struggles with

919
00:46:23,440 --> 00:46:26,600
Speaker 1: my family and friends. I just don't see the youth

920
00:46:26,680 --> 00:46:29,680
Speaker 1: because I keep getting back into this place. I would

921
00:46:29,680 --> 00:46:31,680
Speaker 1: love to get out of this cycle, but I just

922
00:46:31,719 --> 00:46:34,080
Speaker 1: don't believe that I can do it. The only person

923
00:46:34,080 --> 00:46:37,240
Speaker 1: who really knows what battle I deal with is my partner,

924
00:46:37,239 --> 00:46:40,839
Speaker 1: who is my biggest supporter. I often try pushing him

925
00:46:40,840 --> 00:46:43,600
Speaker 1: away so that he doesn't have to suffer for my

926
00:46:43,680 --> 00:46:47,160
Speaker 1: constant anxiety and depression. I can't see a way out

927
00:46:47,200 --> 00:46:48,960
Speaker 1: of this. A couple of times I've tried to end

928
00:46:48,960 --> 00:46:52,600
Speaker 1: my life and just go away, but I am still

929
00:46:52,640 --> 00:46:54,720
Speaker 1: here and I do my best to find a purpose.

930
00:46:54,800 --> 00:46:57,319
Speaker 1: I have no clue where to find it. I just

931
00:46:57,320 --> 00:47:00,239
Speaker 1: got my own apartment, and that's a huge accomplishment. Can

932
00:47:00,280 --> 00:47:05,439
Speaker 1: you please give me advice to strengthen my heart and mind? Oh,

933
00:47:06,840 --> 00:47:09,879
Speaker 1: oh my goodness. First of all, thank you so much

934
00:47:09,920 --> 00:47:14,759
Speaker 1: for writing in I Too as a I just opened

935
00:47:14,840 --> 00:47:17,880
Speaker 1: up about this in season one about me as a child,

936
00:47:18,440 --> 00:47:22,080
Speaker 1: having suicidal thoughts and I'm never speaking about it publicly

937
00:47:22,160 --> 00:47:25,040
Speaker 1: because you know, in the black black family, you just

938
00:47:25,120 --> 00:47:29,200
Speaker 1: don't talk about certain things. You know, and what happens

939
00:47:29,200 --> 00:47:30,799
Speaker 1: in the house stays in house. Certain things you just

940
00:47:31,120 --> 00:47:35,200
Speaker 1: don't even talk about those thoughts. So I know what

941
00:47:35,239 --> 00:47:44,040
Speaker 1: this is like. Ooh. I would say, first of all,

942
00:47:44,040 --> 00:47:48,319
Speaker 1: I'm being sexually abused multiple times, having issues of older men.

943
00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:53,080
Speaker 1: That's that in itself is already absolutely you know, creating

944
00:47:53,120 --> 00:47:55,920
Speaker 1: a problem that one you have to deal with that first,

945
00:47:55,960 --> 00:47:59,759
Speaker 1: and for me, therapy has really helped, and that's what

946
00:47:59,760 --> 00:48:02,080
Speaker 1: I was I would definitely say go to therapy and

947
00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:05,200
Speaker 1: start unpacking a lot of this. Because you have someone

948
00:48:05,200 --> 00:48:07,000
Speaker 1: who loves you and supports you, you don't want to

949
00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:10,640
Speaker 1: push them away, but it starts internally, and until you

950
00:48:10,680 --> 00:48:12,839
Speaker 1: seek the help and get it and really heal from

951
00:48:12,840 --> 00:48:16,120
Speaker 1: these things, you're going to continue to push this person away.

952
00:48:16,400 --> 00:48:19,400
Speaker 2: And there are so many wonderful organizations out there that

953
00:48:19,520 --> 00:48:23,759
Speaker 2: help with victims that have been abused sexually. So I

954
00:48:23,800 --> 00:48:26,799
Speaker 2: think you need to get someone who really understands the

955
00:48:26,840 --> 00:48:30,680
Speaker 2: magnitude and the scope of what you've been through, right,

956
00:48:30,840 --> 00:48:34,320
Speaker 2: So get someone that is experienced in dealing with victims

957
00:48:34,320 --> 00:48:38,359
Speaker 2: in that area, and I don't even like really using

958
00:48:38,400 --> 00:48:41,160
Speaker 2: the word victims, so I probably would just say get

959
00:48:41,160 --> 00:48:45,560
Speaker 2: someone who's experience in that area. And the other thing, too,

960
00:48:45,680 --> 00:48:48,200
Speaker 2: is when you're trying to find a therapist, I don't

961
00:48:48,200 --> 00:48:51,560
Speaker 2: know if this listener is you know, African American or

962
00:48:51,560 --> 00:48:55,560
Speaker 2: another personal color, or you know, right white or non Hispanic,

963
00:48:55,600 --> 00:48:59,360
Speaker 2: whoever you are, try to find a therapist that worked

964
00:48:59,600 --> 00:49:03,120
Speaker 2: for you. There are some really great organizations out there

965
00:49:03,760 --> 00:49:05,880
Speaker 2: that ask a lot of questions, Like there's a website

966
00:49:05,880 --> 00:49:08,600
Speaker 2: that I like call betterhelp dot com. And of course,

967
00:49:08,640 --> 00:49:11,400
Speaker 2: you know, I'm not a doctor, so I always consult

968
00:49:11,440 --> 00:49:13,880
Speaker 2: with your physician before you try to find a therapist.

969
00:49:13,920 --> 00:49:16,680
Speaker 2: But there's some great resources out there and betterhelp dot Com.

970
00:49:16,760 --> 00:49:18,440
Speaker 2: They ask you a ton of questions, which is why

971
00:49:18,480 --> 00:49:22,040
Speaker 2: I like it, and so you can really find someone

972
00:49:22,440 --> 00:49:27,120
Speaker 2: to understand the nuances of your experiences. I also think

973
00:49:27,320 --> 00:49:32,360
Speaker 2: finding a really good if you are a person of faith,

974
00:49:34,280 --> 00:49:36,279
Speaker 2: find a good spiritual based home.

975
00:49:36,480 --> 00:49:38,640
Speaker 1: Yep, she did say she often loses touch and faith,

976
00:49:38,680 --> 00:49:39,040
Speaker 1: so she is.

977
00:49:39,080 --> 00:49:41,719
Speaker 2: And partner and that's hard. But I will say for me,

978
00:49:41,920 --> 00:49:45,160
Speaker 2: when I was in the valley of It, I remember

979
00:49:45,200 --> 00:49:49,400
Speaker 2: going to Ebenezer. Like every other Sunday or one, I

980
00:49:49,440 --> 00:49:52,000
Speaker 2: go to church. I'm one of them church girls. I

981
00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:55,200
Speaker 2: still tell you, she come to church, but I'm not traveling.

982
00:49:55,600 --> 00:49:58,120
Speaker 2: But I say all that to say is it allowed

983
00:49:58,160 --> 00:50:00,200
Speaker 2: me to be so vulnerable in church and I'm were

984
00:50:00,280 --> 00:50:03,560
Speaker 2: going down to the altar for prayer calls and just

985
00:50:03,800 --> 00:50:09,000
Speaker 2: crying uncontrollably, And that's when I really knew that. But

986
00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:11,239
Speaker 2: the tears were good because I felt like it was

987
00:50:11,239 --> 00:50:14,120
Speaker 2: those tears of a breakthrough coming and I had to

988
00:50:14,239 --> 00:50:16,360
Speaker 2: let it out, and it was like a spiritual cleansing

989
00:50:16,400 --> 00:50:19,080
Speaker 2: almost that I was letting myself get it all out

990
00:50:19,520 --> 00:50:21,200
Speaker 2: so that I could really get to a point where

991
00:50:21,200 --> 00:50:23,160
Speaker 2: I could trust God and listen to him and know

992
00:50:23,239 --> 00:50:28,080
Speaker 2: what I needed. So finding yourself a good counselor and

993
00:50:28,239 --> 00:50:32,880
Speaker 2: advocate from a physical abuse perspective is great. It's almost

994
00:50:32,880 --> 00:50:35,040
Speaker 2: like you got to put your team together. You need

995
00:50:35,080 --> 00:50:39,480
Speaker 2: a spiritual counselor, you need a regular therapist or a psychiatrist.

996
00:50:39,520 --> 00:50:42,520
Speaker 2: I don't push medications on people, but I myself personally

997
00:50:42,560 --> 00:50:46,920
Speaker 2: had to take So I personally had to take antidepressants,

998
00:50:47,640 --> 00:50:49,760
Speaker 2: but that worked for me. So talk to your doctor

999
00:50:49,800 --> 00:50:52,279
Speaker 2: about that and see if you're a right candidate for that,

1000
00:50:53,120 --> 00:50:56,560
Speaker 2: but then also getting accountability partners. I love that you

1001
00:50:56,640 --> 00:50:58,640
Speaker 2: let your partner in, but I'm hoping that you have

1002
00:50:58,719 --> 00:51:01,359
Speaker 2: a couple of other family members or girlfriends or male

1003
00:51:01,400 --> 00:51:03,359
Speaker 2: friends that will give you the grace that you need

1004
00:51:03,760 --> 00:51:06,520
Speaker 2: to help you because it is a lonely road of

1005
00:51:06,560 --> 00:51:09,160
Speaker 2: trying to heal on your own. And I tell people

1006
00:51:09,200 --> 00:51:12,239
Speaker 2: all the time, you know, we were born connected to

1007
00:51:12,360 --> 00:51:17,080
Speaker 2: our mother's umbilical cord, so humans were meant to be connected.

1008
00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:21,200
Speaker 2: We came into this world with a level of connectivity.

1009
00:51:21,239 --> 00:51:24,799
Speaker 2: And so allow your tribe and your crew to love

1010
00:51:24,800 --> 00:51:27,480
Speaker 2: on you. You know, I call it my starting five.

1011
00:51:27,560 --> 00:51:29,960
Speaker 2: I say, who's in your starting five? Those are your

1012
00:51:29,960 --> 00:51:32,400
Speaker 2: accountability partners and people that are going to help you

1013
00:51:32,480 --> 00:51:35,279
Speaker 2: through those really tough times in your life. So my

1014
00:51:35,400 --> 00:51:38,120
Speaker 2: prayer is that you allow yourself and pray and ask

1015
00:51:38,160 --> 00:51:42,640
Speaker 2: God to help you pull this tribe around you and

1016
00:51:42,680 --> 00:51:45,440
Speaker 2: your accountability partners and seeing the right doctors. It's not

1017
00:51:45,480 --> 00:51:49,200
Speaker 2: going to be easy, but with love and support and

1018
00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:52,080
Speaker 2: giving yourself the grace that you need to know that

1019
00:51:52,120 --> 00:51:54,960
Speaker 2: it's okay, that what you've been through right, it does

1020
00:51:55,040 --> 00:51:58,400
Speaker 2: not define you. It does not dictate what your future

1021
00:51:58,480 --> 00:52:02,400
Speaker 2: is going to be. If you allow people in and

1022
00:52:02,480 --> 00:52:04,479
Speaker 2: open up and be a little bit vulnerable, it will

1023
00:52:04,480 --> 00:52:07,239
Speaker 2: allow you, hopefully to get that help that you need. Yeah,

1024
00:52:07,640 --> 00:52:09,600
Speaker 2: even when you're in those darkest of places.

1025
00:52:09,719 --> 00:52:14,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so good. Yes, I'm definitely praying for you. Yes,

1026
00:52:14,719 --> 00:52:17,440
Speaker 1: and everything that Shanty said I echoed, because I know

1027
00:52:17,480 --> 00:52:20,399
Speaker 1: you have more expertise and guidance in that area. That

1028
00:52:20,520 --> 00:52:21,319
Speaker 1: was really good about.

1029
00:52:21,400 --> 00:52:23,880
Speaker 2: Yeah. I couldn't do it by myself. I needed my pastor,

1030
00:52:23,920 --> 00:52:27,320
Speaker 2: I needed my sister, I needed my girlfriends who told

1031
00:52:27,320 --> 00:52:30,280
Speaker 2: me that my life mattered, you know, and my doctors

1032
00:52:30,680 --> 00:52:32,439
Speaker 2: who told me this is what you need.

1033
00:52:32,760 --> 00:52:38,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's awesome. So we're going to do next what

1034
00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:41,080
Speaker 1: I'm going through and what I'm growing through.

1035
00:52:41,200 --> 00:52:41,759
Speaker 2: Oh I like that.

1036
00:52:41,960 --> 00:52:44,600
Speaker 1: Yes, And sometimes for some people it's the same thing

1037
00:52:44,760 --> 00:52:47,399
Speaker 1: what they're going through their girling at the same because

1038
00:52:47,400 --> 00:52:48,919
Speaker 1: some people are like, well what am I They're trying

1039
00:52:48,920 --> 00:52:50,840
Speaker 1: to figure out which one to say. But for me,

1040
00:52:51,520 --> 00:52:56,000
Speaker 1: as retains what we talked about today, I am constantly

1041
00:52:56,040 --> 00:53:00,799
Speaker 1: going through a process of evolving my mental health. I

1042
00:53:00,840 --> 00:53:04,319
Speaker 1: got into therapy this year. Found Denor helped me find

1043
00:53:04,320 --> 00:53:08,600
Speaker 1: an amazing therapist Finally I feel like somebody, like you said,

1044
00:53:08,680 --> 00:53:11,080
Speaker 1: like you just told the young lady, find somebody that

1045
00:53:11,200 --> 00:53:15,280
Speaker 1: speaks to you, that understands you in your needs. And

1046
00:53:15,440 --> 00:53:17,680
Speaker 1: for me it was I needed somebody who had been

1047
00:53:17,680 --> 00:53:21,359
Speaker 1: through some things who could actually understand when I broke

1048
00:53:21,400 --> 00:53:23,439
Speaker 1: down everything that I had been through, that could help

1049
00:53:23,480 --> 00:53:27,960
Speaker 1: me through it. So that right now really just trying

1050
00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:33,799
Speaker 1: to evolve more, unpack more. I found myself opening up

1051
00:53:33,840 --> 00:53:36,319
Speaker 1: to Donor yesterday about something that I talked about in

1052
00:53:36,400 --> 00:53:39,120
Speaker 1: therapy that I didn't realize had happened to me as

1053
00:53:39,120 --> 00:53:45,080
Speaker 1: a child, and just constantly learning new things and realizing, okay,

1054
00:53:45,200 --> 00:53:47,440
Speaker 1: this is another reason why I may bee like this.

1055
00:53:47,640 --> 00:53:51,240
Speaker 2: And do you find that something like triggered you at times?

1056
00:53:51,320 --> 00:53:52,600
Speaker 2: Maybe taking you back to that point?

1057
00:53:52,600 --> 00:53:55,680
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, that's yes.

1058
00:53:55,719 --> 00:53:58,160
Speaker 2: You're starting to notice little things that can trigger things,

1059
00:53:58,200 --> 00:53:59,840
Speaker 2: and you know that's what you need to open up

1060
00:53:59,880 --> 00:54:01,960
Speaker 2: and talk a little bit more about, Yes, so you

1061
00:54:02,000 --> 00:54:03,640
Speaker 2: can kind of learn how to process it better.

1062
00:54:03,800 --> 00:54:07,680
Speaker 1: Every time I'm trigger then well I'll tell her. She goes, okay, this,

1063
00:54:07,960 --> 00:54:09,920
Speaker 1: let's figure out where this is really coming from.

1064
00:54:09,960 --> 00:54:13,680
Speaker 2: That's right, My gosh, that's though. Yeah, that's positive.

1065
00:54:13,800 --> 00:54:15,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, So that's what I'm going through and growing.

1066
00:54:15,680 --> 00:54:17,880
Speaker 2: Oh so proud of you.

1067
00:54:18,000 --> 00:54:20,800
Speaker 1: Thank you, that's awesome. Thanks what about you?

1068
00:54:21,680 --> 00:54:26,520
Speaker 2: Oh gosh. So I'm still going through the loss of

1069
00:54:26,600 --> 00:54:31,920
Speaker 2: my sister and my mother. I have some days that

1070
00:54:32,120 --> 00:54:35,399
Speaker 2: I can just go outside and have a wonderful day,

1071
00:54:35,960 --> 00:54:39,000
Speaker 2: go hang with friends. And then I have some days

1072
00:54:39,040 --> 00:54:40,719
Speaker 2: and it can be sunny and I don't want to

1073
00:54:40,719 --> 00:54:43,440
Speaker 2: open up my blondes. And that's when I realized I

1074
00:54:43,480 --> 00:54:44,800
Speaker 2: still have to seek therapy.

1075
00:54:45,000 --> 00:54:45,680
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1076
00:54:45,960 --> 00:54:49,360
Speaker 2: I was seeing therapy my therapist rather for probably a

1077
00:54:49,400 --> 00:54:52,479
Speaker 2: good two years, and then I realized I hadn't seen

1078
00:54:52,520 --> 00:54:55,360
Speaker 2: her for about six months. And I'm now back in

1079
00:54:55,400 --> 00:55:00,000
Speaker 2: therapy because for some reason this year, my sister's birthday

1080
00:55:00,120 --> 00:55:03,680
Speaker 2: hit me really hard, and I talk about her constantly

1081
00:55:03,920 --> 00:55:07,520
Speaker 2: all the time, and I try not to talk to

1082
00:55:07,920 --> 00:55:10,480
Speaker 2: my family so much about it because everybody has their

1083
00:55:10,520 --> 00:55:13,920
Speaker 2: own healing process. But for me, I'm still struggling. I

1084
00:55:14,280 --> 00:55:17,880
Speaker 2: lost my best friend, yes, my big sister, and she

1085
00:55:19,120 --> 00:55:25,160
Speaker 2: got it everything in my life. And my mother, you know,

1086
00:55:25,200 --> 00:55:28,279
Speaker 2: it's still mom, even though she had Alzheimer's. You know.

1087
00:55:28,760 --> 00:55:31,200
Speaker 2: It's funny. I feel triggered sometimes, Like I was at

1088
00:55:31,200 --> 00:55:34,359
Speaker 2: the store the other day and I saw a lady walking.

1089
00:55:34,040 --> 00:55:35,160
Speaker 1: With her mom.

1090
00:55:35,280 --> 00:55:38,600
Speaker 2: Her mom was probably in her late eighties holding the

1091
00:55:38,680 --> 00:55:40,040
Speaker 2: door for her. But like I would take my mom

1092
00:55:40,080 --> 00:55:42,480
Speaker 2: to get her nails done, and you know, we had

1093
00:55:42,520 --> 00:55:45,719
Speaker 2: our things that we did, and the holidays make it

1094
00:55:45,920 --> 00:55:49,800
Speaker 2: really tough for me. So yeah, you know, I am

1095
00:55:49,840 --> 00:55:53,640
Speaker 2: still going through and then growing through the fact that

1096
00:55:53,680 --> 00:55:57,000
Speaker 2: they are in a better place, that they loved so

1097
00:55:57,400 --> 00:56:01,000
Speaker 2: much wonderful knowledge and and still so much in me.

1098
00:56:01,640 --> 00:56:04,520
Speaker 2: That makes me the woman that I am today. Yeah,

1099
00:56:05,440 --> 00:56:10,600
Speaker 2: I feel like from a spiritual perspective, like how there's

1100
00:56:10,600 --> 00:56:12,440
Speaker 2: the Holy Spirit, right, there's a father son in the

1101
00:56:12,440 --> 00:56:14,759
Speaker 2: Holy Spirit, there's my mom, their sister, and there's me,

1102
00:56:15,080 --> 00:56:18,080
Speaker 2: and that makes it complete for me. So I try

1103
00:56:18,120 --> 00:56:20,880
Speaker 2: to every day pull from a little bit from my sister,

1104
00:56:21,320 --> 00:56:23,239
Speaker 2: a little bit from my mom, and stay true to

1105
00:56:23,280 --> 00:56:25,760
Speaker 2: who I am, and that makes me the complete woman

1106
00:56:25,800 --> 00:56:28,960
Speaker 2: that I am today. So I'm growing through the loss

1107
00:56:29,040 --> 00:56:34,160
Speaker 2: of them. I'm going through the loss of them brother

1108
00:56:34,200 --> 00:56:36,960
Speaker 2: and growing through just knowing that I still represent them,

1109
00:56:37,040 --> 00:56:38,880
Speaker 2: you do, and I know they're proud and I can

1110
00:56:38,960 --> 00:56:40,680
Speaker 2: keep their legacies going on to.

1111
00:56:41,000 --> 00:56:47,840
Speaker 1: That's amazing, so good. So we end the show with

1112
00:56:48,000 --> 00:56:53,080
Speaker 1: keep It Blank. Sweetie. And I will say for this one,

1113
00:56:53,800 --> 00:56:56,680
Speaker 1: keep it real, sweety, because when you're real with yourself,

1114
00:56:56,719 --> 00:56:59,320
Speaker 1: you understand where you need help. Sometimes we can be

1115
00:56:59,360 --> 00:57:01,440
Speaker 1: in denials. So I'll say keep it real, sweetie.

1116
00:57:01,920 --> 00:57:03,600
Speaker 2: I was thinking about that too. That's a good one.

1117
00:57:04,280 --> 00:57:10,200
Speaker 2: I would say, keep it transparent, sweetie. That's because when

1118
00:57:10,200 --> 00:57:13,239
Speaker 2: you are not transparent with yourself and with your friends,

1119
00:57:13,840 --> 00:57:17,160
Speaker 2: you know, sometimes it causes us to again go back

1120
00:57:17,200 --> 00:57:20,080
Speaker 2: to going back to compartmentalizing certain things and not dealing

1121
00:57:20,160 --> 00:57:22,960
Speaker 2: with things. But when you're transparent with yourself and the

1122
00:57:23,000 --> 00:57:25,720
Speaker 2: people that you love, you put it all out on

1123
00:57:25,760 --> 00:57:28,520
Speaker 2: the table right and you're able to deal with things

1124
00:57:28,560 --> 00:57:30,960
Speaker 2: and process things in an effective manner and get the

1125
00:57:30,960 --> 00:57:34,080
Speaker 2: help that you need. And that's what leads to you know,

1126
00:57:34,160 --> 00:57:37,240
Speaker 2: getting help or seeing a therapist. But you know, you

1127
00:57:37,320 --> 00:57:40,000
Speaker 2: gotta be real to your point. You gotta be real

1128
00:57:40,040 --> 00:57:44,000
Speaker 2: with yourself and transparent and know what your needs are exactly,

1129
00:57:44,280 --> 00:57:46,840
Speaker 2: because if we keep trying to fight it, we'll never

1130
00:57:46,840 --> 00:57:50,360
Speaker 2: get the help that we won't. So look in that

1131
00:57:50,400 --> 00:57:52,920
Speaker 2: mirror and talk to yourself every morning and be transparent

1132
00:57:52,960 --> 00:57:54,120
Speaker 2: about what your needs are.

1133
00:57:54,360 --> 00:57:59,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so good. Hunt. You have been a blessing

1134
00:58:00,080 --> 00:58:00,480
Speaker 1: last thing.

1135
00:58:00,600 --> 00:58:02,280
Speaker 2: I try not to break down. I was like me,

1136
00:58:02,360 --> 00:58:04,919
Speaker 2: not do the ugly cry you guys.

1137
00:58:04,920 --> 00:58:07,920
Speaker 1: So I was already over here. I was getting real moist.

1138
00:58:07,960 --> 00:58:13,880
Speaker 1: Now the door over there, like no, but thank you

1139
00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:14,800
Speaker 1: so much you.

1140
00:58:14,920 --> 00:58:16,680
Speaker 2: I appreciate you. I have a gift for you. Oh

1141
00:58:16,720 --> 00:58:17,600
Speaker 2: you already got my book?

1142
00:58:17,760 --> 00:58:19,200
Speaker 1: Yes, so excited.

1143
00:58:19,280 --> 00:58:23,000
Speaker 2: Thank you. Know we love you as Silence and shame.

1144
00:58:23,600 --> 00:58:26,160
Speaker 2: I know she has so many wonderful hairstyles.

1145
00:58:26,840 --> 00:58:27,320
Speaker 1: It is.

1146
00:58:28,080 --> 00:58:32,080
Speaker 2: And then we got shirt.

1147
00:58:32,320 --> 00:58:37,640
Speaker 1: I love it and it's thank you make your own. Yes, sorry,

1148
00:58:37,680 --> 00:58:39,240
Speaker 1: that's okay, thank you so much.

1149
00:58:39,400 --> 00:58:41,520
Speaker 2: So May fIF is National Silence of Shame Day, so

1150
00:58:41,520 --> 00:58:43,000
Speaker 2: hopefully we'll be doing some stuff.

1151
00:58:43,200 --> 00:58:45,960
Speaker 1: Yes, I love it. Thank you so much.

1152
00:58:46,160 --> 00:58:46,720
Speaker 2: I love you.

1153
00:58:46,800 --> 00:58:49,600
Speaker 1: I love you too. Thank you guys. Thank you so

1154
00:58:49,720 --> 00:58:52,440
Speaker 1: much for tuning in to this episode of Keep It Positive. Sweetie.

1155
00:58:52,640 --> 00:58:54,880
Speaker 1: If you want to write into our Positive Outcomes open

1156
00:58:54,920 --> 00:58:57,320
Speaker 1: listener letter, you can write into Keep It Positive Sweetie

1157
00:58:57,520 --> 00:59:00,480
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. That's Sweetye with an Ie. You

1158
00:59:00,520 --> 00:59:03,680
Speaker 1: can follow kIPS on all platforms at Keep It Positive Sweetie,

1159
00:59:03,720 --> 00:59:05,600
Speaker 1: and you can follow me on all platforms at Love

1160
00:59:05,680 --> 00:59:09,200
Speaker 1: Chris Surinee and that's luv c R y S. T L.

1161
00:59:09,320 --> 00:59:11,360
Speaker 1: I want to make sure that I shout out Shanty.

1162
00:59:11,760 --> 00:59:14,800
Speaker 1: She has Silencing My Shame, this book that you need

1163
00:59:14,800 --> 00:59:16,800
Speaker 1: to get. And also if you are into the entertainment

1164
00:59:16,840 --> 00:59:19,320
Speaker 1: industry or trying to figure out how to get into it,

1165
00:59:19,640 --> 00:59:22,040
Speaker 1: you can read The Hip Hop Professional two point zero.

1166
00:59:22,440 --> 00:59:25,160
Speaker 1: Make sure you get both of these. Shanty let the

1167
00:59:25,200 --> 00:59:26,480
Speaker 1: people know where they can find you.

1168
00:59:26,800 --> 00:59:29,560
Speaker 2: Yes, you can follow me on I'm pretty much only

1169
00:59:29,600 --> 00:59:33,800
Speaker 2: on Instagram vs days at shanty Dots four four and

1170
00:59:33,840 --> 00:59:36,760
Speaker 2: you can get my books on my website at www

1171
00:59:36,880 --> 00:59:41,200
Speaker 2: dots www dot shanty doss dot biz. And then you

1172
00:59:41,200 --> 00:59:45,040
Speaker 2: can follow my organization Silence for Shame at Silence of Shame,

1173
00:59:45,160 --> 00:59:46,760
Speaker 2: and then we have an app coming out with my

1174
00:59:47,720 --> 00:59:51,800
Speaker 2: I know that's come on so many great things that

1175
00:59:51,840 --> 00:59:54,840
Speaker 2: we're doing, just trying to provide free resources to the community.

1176
00:59:54,880 --> 00:59:56,919
Speaker 2: So the app is coming, but for now, just visit

1177
00:59:56,920 --> 00:59:58,840
Speaker 2: our website and if you want to donate to our

1178
00:59:58,880 --> 01:00:01,840
Speaker 2: little organization, you can do that as well on Silence

1179
01:00:01,840 --> 01:00:02,760
Speaker 2: and Shame dot com.

1180
01:00:03,000 --> 01:00:06,160
Speaker 1: I love it all right, guys, get these. Thank you

1181
01:00:06,240 --> 01:00:09,080
Speaker 1: so much for tuning in in the meantime in between time,

1182
01:00:09,440 --> 01:00:13,000
Speaker 1: Keep it pausitive, sweet and as Shanty said, you are enough.

1183
01:00:13,320 --> 01:00:14,080
Speaker 1: We are enough.

1184
01:00:14,120 --> 01:00:15,080
Speaker 2: We are enough. Yes.

1185
01:00:15,160 --> 01:00:17,160
Speaker 1: Love you guys have it last week.

1186
01:00:25,560 --> 01:00:27,480
Speaker 3: Father God, we thank you so much for this moment.

1187
01:00:27,640 --> 01:00:29,320
Speaker 3: We thank you so much for getting Shanty here.

1188
01:00:29,400 --> 01:00:29,720
Speaker 1: Safety.

1189
01:00:29,720 --> 01:00:30,000
Speaker 2: Father.

1190
01:00:30,400 --> 01:00:33,520
Speaker 3: I just pray Lord, that you speak through Shanty and Crystal.

1191
01:00:33,560 --> 01:00:36,280
Speaker 3: Father God, guide their tongue, guide their heart, to guide

1192
01:00:36,280 --> 01:00:38,240
Speaker 3: their souls as they speak on this platform.

1193
01:00:38,280 --> 01:00:38,520
Speaker 2: Lord.

1194
01:00:38,720 --> 01:00:40,480
Speaker 1: And for those that will hear everything.

1195
01:00:40,120 --> 01:00:42,000
Speaker 3: That they have to share, Father God, we pray that

1196
01:00:42,040 --> 01:00:43,800
Speaker 3: they will hear a word that will transform them from

1197
01:00:43,800 --> 01:00:45,760
Speaker 3: the God that will transcend them, from the God that

1198
01:00:45,800 --> 01:00:48,200
Speaker 3: will open up their ears, heart and minds to whatever

1199
01:00:48,240 --> 01:00:50,360
Speaker 3: you want them to receive. Lord, we love you, and

1200
01:00:50,400 --> 01:00:52,160
Speaker 3: we honor your and your name. We pray Amen.

1201
01:00:52,360 --> 01:00:52,680
Speaker 1: Amen,