WEBVTT - Bethany 0:00:01.160 --> 0:00:05.000 At Southern Illinois University in the small city of Carbondale. 0:00:05.519 --> 0:00:10.559 Three light brown towers our campus landmarks their high rise dorms. 0:00:11.320 --> 0:00:15.160 A sophomore named Emily has moved into one of them. 0:00:15.320 --> 0:00:18.800 I lived actually on the fifteenth floor, and the view 0:00:18.920 --> 0:00:22.840 from up inside the towers that high up was just amazing. 0:00:22.880 --> 0:00:25.919 I just always loved it, and of course at night 0:00:26.280 --> 0:00:30.240 you could see all the lights from the city. It's 0:00:30.280 --> 0:00:33.839 the fall of two thousand three. Emily is not her 0:00:33.880 --> 0:00:37.599 real name, which she didn't want used. Emily and her 0:00:37.680 --> 0:00:41.800 roommate share a bathroom with two freshmen. The four girls 0:00:41.840 --> 0:00:44.919 are sweet mates, and as the semester goes on, they 0:00:44.960 --> 0:00:47.920 get to know each other. One of the freshman sweet 0:00:47.920 --> 0:00:54.000 mates is named Sarah, Sarah Delashman. She's from Highland, a 0:00:54.080 --> 0:00:57.520 small town almost two hours north. She's here as a 0:00:57.560 --> 0:01:01.320 pre med student. Sarah has short brown hair. It was 0:01:01.400 --> 0:01:05.520 kind of dirty blonde or close to brown, and it 0:01:05.600 --> 0:01:09.480 kind of looked a little bit feathered. She had glasses embraces. 0:01:09.959 --> 0:01:13.399 If she owned makeup, I didn't know it because I 0:01:13.400 --> 0:01:16.280 don't think I ever saw her wear makeup before at all. 0:01:17.040 --> 0:01:20.679 My previous two sweet mates the year before they were 0:01:20.680 --> 0:01:24.000 nowhere nearest, friendly, and so Sarah kind of seemed a 0:01:24.000 --> 0:01:26.000 little bit like a beam of sunshine. I guess you 0:01:26.040 --> 0:01:30.280 could say Sarah doesn't talk about her family all that much. 0:01:30.959 --> 0:01:34.479 I never saw it her dad. I think her dad 0:01:34.560 --> 0:01:37.160 was not in a picture, and I don't remember if 0:01:37.160 --> 0:01:39.560 he had passed away or it was, you know, like 0:01:39.600 --> 0:01:44.039 a divorce situation. I never saw her mom ever, which 0:01:44.080 --> 0:01:48.160 is kind of interesting because she lived about maybe an 0:01:48.160 --> 0:01:51.120 hour and a half, maybe closer to two hours. Her 0:01:51.160 --> 0:01:56.800 cousin had brought her newborn baby, and that's the only 0:01:56.840 --> 0:01:59.760 time I think that I remember she had any family 0:01:59.800 --> 0:02:07.720 that came and visited him. Not long into the semester, 0:02:08.120 --> 0:02:11.760 Sarah walks into Emily's room. I think it was about 0:02:12.280 --> 0:02:16.160 maybe October or so when she came and told us that, 0:02:16.720 --> 0:02:21.040 you know, that she had leukemia. Leukemia. No one takes 0:02:21.040 --> 0:02:24.320 the news of Sarah's cancer harder than her roommate, the 0:02:24.360 --> 0:02:27.160 other freshman of the bunch. She was one of those 0:02:27.160 --> 0:02:31.120 friends that if you were crossing the street and she 0:02:31.160 --> 0:02:33.400 saw that the bus was about to hit you, she 0:02:33.400 --> 0:02:35.480 would have jumped in the way to save her friend. 0:02:36.000 --> 0:02:38.600 She was going to support her no matter what she 0:02:38.800 --> 0:02:43.560 was That close with Sarah. The semester goes on. They 0:02:43.600 --> 0:02:46.960 come and go from class, and Sarah makes sure that 0:02:47.160 --> 0:02:52.200 nobody forgets about her cancer. One day, Sarah talks about 0:02:52.200 --> 0:02:54.920 how she's starting to lose her hair and maybe she 0:02:54.960 --> 0:02:58.079 should just go ahead and cut it all off. They 0:02:58.120 --> 0:03:01.600 all gather in Emily's room with hers, roll back the rug, 0:03:01.760 --> 0:03:05.080 and get ready to give Sarah a haircut. At the 0:03:05.160 --> 0:03:08.720 last minute, though she backs out. She never says why, 0:03:08.800 --> 0:03:12.480 but you know who doesn't back out, her roommate. She 0:03:12.680 --> 0:03:16.920 chops off her hair and a show of support. One day, 0:03:16.960 --> 0:03:21.119 Sarah suggests they watch a movie called A Walk to Remember. 0:03:21.560 --> 0:03:25.800 It's a teen romance and the lead female character is 0:03:25.919 --> 0:03:29.760 dying from cancer. It's the kind of cancer story that 0:03:29.840 --> 0:03:38.800 you might see on the Hallmark channel. I'm sick, I'm sick. Aprkemia. 0:03:39.520 --> 0:03:43.800 Emily isn't so sure this is a good idea. You know, 0:03:43.880 --> 0:03:47.200 we were told by Sarah and her roommate that it 0:03:47.280 --> 0:03:50.000 was fine, that they were going to be okay, they 0:03:50.080 --> 0:03:53.880 were going to hold themselves together, and it was completely 0:03:53.920 --> 0:03:57.000 the opposite. By the time the movie was over, the 0:03:57.120 --> 0:03:59.880 room was dark except for the light of the TV 0:04:00.200 --> 0:04:04.720 and off in the corner. The movie ended with Sarah 0:04:04.960 --> 0:04:08.720 and her roommate crumpled on the floor, hugging each other, 0:04:09.120 --> 0:04:12.760 crying together. It was a bad idea not to intervene. 0:04:13.680 --> 0:04:18.320 The school year ends, everyone scatters for the summer. Emily 0:04:18.360 --> 0:04:20.920 and Sarah decide to room together when they come back 0:04:20.960 --> 0:04:25.040 in the fall. One evening in July, Emily is at 0:04:25.040 --> 0:04:29.320 a wedding, and then during the reception, I get a 0:04:29.360 --> 0:04:32.479 call from Sarah that she's been in a car accident, 0:04:32.800 --> 0:04:35.719 and a bad one at that. She said that she 0:04:35.880 --> 0:04:38.680 was going to have to have her back fused. If 0:04:38.680 --> 0:04:41.240 I could almost paraphrase how she said, you know, I've 0:04:41.279 --> 0:04:45.160 been in a car accident and I'm in a wheelchair, 0:04:45.240 --> 0:04:46.800 and I don't know if I'm gonna be able to 0:04:46.800 --> 0:04:53.800 walk again. Emily doesn't see Sarah until the start of 0:04:53.839 --> 0:04:57.599 the new fall term. They agree on a move in time, 0:04:57.680 --> 0:05:00.240 but when Emily gets there and opens the door, she 0:05:00.360 --> 0:05:03.800 discovers that Sarah has surprised her by moving in early. 0:05:04.680 --> 0:05:09.320 Here the door start to open and she's in a wheelchair. 0:05:09.720 --> 0:05:12.360 And not only is she a wheelchair, she's a She's 0:05:12.360 --> 0:05:15.920 an emmanual wheelchair and not an electric wheelchair. She also 0:05:16.080 --> 0:05:22.039 had this heavy plastic, medical looking back brace that kind 0:05:22.040 --> 0:05:26.000 of fit around her almost like a corset would. After 0:05:26.080 --> 0:05:30.159 school starts, Sarah isn't around all that much. She just 0:05:30.240 --> 0:05:34.080 kind of disappeared for a day, or disappear for two days, 0:05:34.160 --> 0:05:38.440 and I barely saw her. But then one day she 0:05:38.560 --> 0:05:41.400 started talking to me, and she was laying on her bed, 0:05:42.160 --> 0:05:45.760 and I turned around in my chair um to face 0:05:45.839 --> 0:05:49.080 her in the window, and I looked back at her, 0:05:49.160 --> 0:05:52.640 and she was smiling, talking, But the way that she 0:05:52.839 --> 0:05:57.080 was laying on the bed looked really strange, because she 0:05:57.240 --> 0:06:02.000 was laying like you were laying on your stomach, propping 0:06:02.000 --> 0:06:05.480 your your elbows up like you were flipping through a magazine, 0:06:05.480 --> 0:06:08.080 and like you had your feet kind of flipped up 0:06:08.120 --> 0:06:11.760 towards the ceiling. And I just remember looking at her, 0:06:12.200 --> 0:06:16.800 watching her smiling and with his fused back of hers. 0:06:17.080 --> 0:06:21.279 I thought, I don't know how she's this comfortable laying 0:06:21.320 --> 0:06:25.000 on the bed like she is. But that was the 0:06:25.040 --> 0:06:31.320 turning point that something is off. Emily and Sarah start 0:06:31.400 --> 0:06:36.320 to not get along, typical roommates not clicking. Emily moves out, 0:06:36.560 --> 0:06:39.359 leaving Sarah to fend for herself and the wheelchair in 0:06:39.400 --> 0:06:43.280 the back brace a few weeks later, Emily walks through 0:06:43.320 --> 0:06:47.200 the double doors of a dining hall, and there she is. 0:06:47.880 --> 0:06:51.200 I see Sarah at the top of the stairs, and 0:06:51.520 --> 0:06:54.479 she is not in a wheelchair, she is not in 0:06:54.480 --> 0:06:57.800 a back brace. She's in jeans and a T shirt. 0:06:58.480 --> 0:07:01.920 Students scurry two and throw all around them, But for 0:07:02.000 --> 0:07:11.000 Emily and Sarah time stops. Everything else around me just 0:07:11.040 --> 0:07:15.720 seems to disappear just as I step into the dining hall, 0:07:15.800 --> 0:07:18.680 looking up at her. And I looked at her, and 0:07:18.880 --> 0:07:21.320 she saw me, and she looked at me kind of 0:07:21.320 --> 0:07:24.800 with a blank stare. It wasn't a sad thing, it 0:07:24.880 --> 0:07:27.080 wasn't a mean face or anything. It was just kind 0:07:27.080 --> 0:07:30.160 of blank, and it seemed like everything else faded away, 0:07:31.120 --> 0:07:33.160 and that was like the only thing that was going 0:07:33.200 --> 0:07:35.120 on was just the two of us kind of staring 0:07:35.160 --> 0:07:39.280 at each other. Emily walks up the stairs past Sarah, 0:07:39.760 --> 0:07:43.520 neither of them saying a word. And I turned the 0:07:43.640 --> 0:07:48.520 corner to head to where the mailboxes were, and curiosity 0:07:48.520 --> 0:07:50.400 got the better of me, and I turned back to 0:07:50.440 --> 0:07:54.640 look at her. And she hadn't moved, you, like her 0:07:54.720 --> 0:07:57.800 feet or anything, but she had still turned and looked 0:07:57.800 --> 0:08:02.840 at me with that's aim look, it was game over, 0:08:07.240 --> 0:08:11.400 but her game was far from over. The worst part 0:08:11.480 --> 0:08:14.440 is I found out much, much, much, much later that 0:08:14.720 --> 0:08:20.680 it morphed into something so sinister and hurtful than I 0:08:21.040 --> 0:08:26.360 never imagined. We were warm up, you know, we were practiced. 0:08:27.320 --> 0:08:29.960 There's a reason why Emily doesn't want us to use 0:08:30.000 --> 0:08:34.280 her name. She's hoping Sarah has forgotten it. She doesn't 0:08:34.320 --> 0:08:38.440 want Sarah to ever find her. You're telling a story 0:08:38.480 --> 0:08:42.480 about someone who's such a masterminded lying, and you're like, 0:08:42.559 --> 0:08:44.880 no one's going to believe this story. I mean, it 0:08:44.960 --> 0:08:47.600 just sounds crazy to even think of, Like some of 0:08:47.640 --> 0:08:51.320 the stuff that had happened. Emily never saw Sarah again. 0:08:52.040 --> 0:08:55.199 But over the years, Sarah got better and better at 0:08:55.280 --> 0:08:59.480 insinuating herself into online support groups for people with illnesses 0:08:59.840 --> 0:09:03.640 or charities that help patients should find a way into 0:09:03.679 --> 0:09:07.520 people's hearts and lives. She obviously kept many, many, many 0:09:07.520 --> 0:09:10.199 stories straight for a very very long time. She did 0:09:10.200 --> 0:09:12.360 a good job of fooling a lot of people for 0:09:12.480 --> 0:09:16.439 a really long time, until the day she told one 0:09:16.520 --> 0:09:21.640 lie too many. This was a case that victims were 0:09:21.720 --> 0:09:24.760 very passionate about. You know, Sarah can go to prison, 0:09:25.240 --> 0:09:28.840 someone can lock her up for a crime, but where 0:09:28.920 --> 0:09:33.439 is the law? The law doesn't account for the trauma. 0:09:33.720 --> 0:09:36.720 This is a story told by the victims of what 0:09:36.840 --> 0:09:41.320 may seem like a victimless crime. Sarah delash Miant wasn't 0:09:41.360 --> 0:09:46.520 really after money or power. She needed something far more complicated, 0:09:47.000 --> 0:09:50.200 and what she stole from everyone who trusted her and 0:09:50.280 --> 0:09:55.200 believed her in the end was far more valuable than money. 0:09:56.160 --> 0:10:04.960 I'm Laura Beale. You're listening to Sympathy Pains. This is 0:10:05.000 --> 0:10:10.480 episode one. Bethany. I've been a medical journalist for a 0:10:10.520 --> 0:10:13.480 really long time, so long that there are times when 0:10:13.520 --> 0:10:16.199 I think that nothing is really going to surprise me anymore. 0:10:16.720 --> 0:10:19.760 Until it does. Until you pull a string and just 0:10:19.840 --> 0:10:23.000 keep pulling and pulling, trying to make sense of things, 0:10:23.440 --> 0:10:25.959 and in the end you're left in a place that 0:10:26.000 --> 0:10:30.120 you didn't expect to be. This is one of those stories. 0:10:31.559 --> 0:10:35.760 Bethany Turner lives in Indianapolis with her young daughter. She 0:10:35.880 --> 0:10:39.480 has a round face and soft brown eyes. She's thirty 0:10:39.480 --> 0:10:42.240 one years old. She grew up here in a tight 0:10:42.320 --> 0:10:46.040 knit religious family, pretty sheltered until she went to college 0:10:46.040 --> 0:10:50.240 in Chattanooga, Tennessee. Bethany is one of those people who 0:10:50.400 --> 0:10:54.160 not only recognizes pain and injustice. She feels it down 0:10:54.240 --> 0:10:58.080 to her bones. She's drawn to people in need, people 0:10:58.080 --> 0:11:02.079 who live in the invisible margins of society. You're helping 0:11:02.120 --> 0:11:04.720 yourself along the way to because every one of those 0:11:04.760 --> 0:11:06.600 situations I walked out of I felt like I gained 0:11:06.640 --> 0:11:09.120 more than I was giving. It's it's an environment where 0:11:10.640 --> 0:11:12.160 you get to learn from each other, but feel like 0:11:12.200 --> 0:11:15.640 you're bettering a community too. In two thousand and fifteen, 0:11:16.040 --> 0:11:18.720 she was looking for the next place she could serve. 0:11:19.640 --> 0:11:22.160 I just finished up a term with AmeriCorps. I had 0:11:22.200 --> 0:11:25.160 done a year with them working with children in South Florida. 0:11:25.640 --> 0:11:29.560 I had traveled abroad and done some um teaching. I 0:11:29.640 --> 0:11:33.000 was searching for the kindness. I was searching for the humanity. 0:11:33.440 --> 0:11:37.960 I was searching for the community. Scrolling through the Internet, 0:11:38.080 --> 0:11:42.559 she started reading about a place in Texas called Camp Summit. Today, 0:11:42.640 --> 0:11:45.440 it spans out of our almost five acres, near a 0:11:45.480 --> 0:11:50.240 town called No Joke Paradise. It's been around in some 0:11:50.320 --> 0:11:53.840 form since the nineteen forties. It's a place where adults 0:11:53.880 --> 0:11:57.400 with disabilities can spend a week soaking in the outdoors, 0:11:57.559 --> 0:12:00.720 doing the kind of stuff that society usually makes hard 0:12:00.800 --> 0:12:03.839 for them, like swimming or putting on a talent show. 0:12:04.640 --> 0:12:07.679 This resonated with Bethany. She had had an uncle who 0:12:07.800 --> 0:12:10.440 was disabled and a friend in college who was too. 0:12:11.240 --> 0:12:15.560 That friend especially gave Bethany a whole new perspective. She 0:12:15.760 --> 0:12:19.520 encouraged her to not be afraid of being bold. She 0:12:19.640 --> 0:12:23.400 just really challenged me to be better and try different 0:12:23.400 --> 0:12:27.719 things and not make excuses. The moment Bethany drove through 0:12:27.720 --> 0:12:30.960 the gates of Camp Summit and onto the gravel driveway, 0:12:31.240 --> 0:12:35.400 she knew this is where she needed to be. You 0:12:35.440 --> 0:12:38.360 come in and there everything in campus surrounded by trees. 0:12:38.400 --> 0:12:41.079 There's um some little walkways back in there where we 0:12:41.080 --> 0:12:42.920 would take hikes into the woods a little bit, and 0:12:42.920 --> 0:12:45.559 they had some areas that were set up for bonfires. 0:12:45.600 --> 0:12:48.480 The boys camp is on the right, so there's five 0:12:48.600 --> 0:12:52.400 or six, I'd say five, maybe cabins, just a typical 0:12:52.880 --> 0:12:58.120 old school camp house. Campers could ride horses, shoot arrows, 0:12:58.240 --> 0:13:01.000 even go down a zip line. A lot of them 0:13:01.040 --> 0:13:03.640 told me it was their vacation, which hadn't really occurred 0:13:03.640 --> 0:13:06.720 to me until they said that out loud. That you know, 0:13:06.800 --> 0:13:09.400 they live in assisted living homes, or they live with 0:13:09.440 --> 0:13:12.240 caregivers or they've lived with family their whole life, and 0:13:13.520 --> 0:13:16.800 this is there one or two times a year where 0:13:16.800 --> 0:13:18.640 they can take a week to go be with friends 0:13:18.679 --> 0:13:25.440 and and it be a completely accessible experience. For many 0:13:25.480 --> 0:13:29.200 of the campers, it's the best week of their lives. Yeah, 0:13:29.200 --> 0:13:31.200 it's the best week of anybody's life that gets to go. 0:13:31.280 --> 0:13:32.920 To be honest with you, I mean, the staff loves 0:13:32.960 --> 0:13:34.840 it just as much, if not more, than the campers do. 0:13:34.920 --> 0:13:39.920 I think it's a very sacred community. Sacred community. I've 0:13:40.040 --> 0:13:42.720 heard this phrase a lot while working on this story. 0:13:43.160 --> 0:13:45.160 You passed that gate and everybody's just kind of their 0:13:45.160 --> 0:13:49.200 own chaotic mess, laughing and hugging, and I have have 0:13:49.480 --> 0:13:52.160 never experienced so many hugs and so much laughter in 0:13:52.200 --> 0:13:55.200 my life. And the lasting friendships that came out of 0:13:55.240 --> 0:13:56.959 just those few weeks of being there, I think are 0:13:56.960 --> 0:14:01.559 going to be lifelong. The new camp burs arrived on Sundays. 0:14:02.240 --> 0:14:05.280 During one session in the fall of two thousand fifteen, 0:14:05.880 --> 0:14:08.839 Bethany and the other counselors were roaming through the cabin, 0:14:09.040 --> 0:14:12.240 which was bustling with the chatter and activity of unpacking. 0:14:12.880 --> 0:14:15.320 One of the campers was in a power wheelchair in 0:14:15.360 --> 0:14:19.680 the middle of the room. Yeah, I remember her wearing 0:14:19.720 --> 0:14:23.840 a lot of like soft pink and soft clothes. She 0:14:24.000 --> 0:14:27.520 told the counselor she had muscular dystrophee. She could hold 0:14:27.560 --> 0:14:30.800 herself upright, but could barely move from the neck down. 0:14:31.360 --> 0:14:33.760 Just a little bit of arm control enough to work 0:14:33.800 --> 0:14:36.280 the toggle on her chair was all she could manage. 0:14:37.040 --> 0:14:41.640 Her name was Sarah. She was thirty years old. She 0:14:41.720 --> 0:14:43.920 said she had her nursing license and lived with her 0:14:43.960 --> 0:14:47.320 mom in southern Illinois, in a town not far from St. Louis. 0:14:47.920 --> 0:14:50.280 She kind of came across with someone who hadn't experienced 0:14:50.280 --> 0:14:54.560 a lot outside of her small town in Illinois. Bethany 0:14:54.680 --> 0:14:58.880 drifted from camper to camper, helping organize their bedding and clothes. 0:14:59.480 --> 0:15:02.440 So of the caregivers was already helping her unpack everything 0:15:02.440 --> 0:15:04.320 because she was basically just kind of pointing where she 0:15:04.360 --> 0:15:07.040 wanted things and organized. And she had she brought a 0:15:07.080 --> 0:15:09.840 c pat machine, so that she was talking to her 0:15:09.840 --> 0:15:11.920 about how to set that up. And she pointed over 0:15:11.960 --> 0:15:14.040 at the separate suitcase and she said, open that one. 0:15:14.480 --> 0:15:16.120 It has some other things in there. For the cabin. 0:15:16.400 --> 0:15:18.720 She had a bunch of crafts and things that we 0:15:18.760 --> 0:15:21.600 could do. I think she had maybe even some snacks 0:15:21.640 --> 0:15:24.040 for us. Of course, then everyone else in the cabinet 0:15:24.120 --> 0:15:25.880 is immediately drawn to her and want to see what 0:15:25.920 --> 0:15:28.600 was in there. The treats were a draw, but so 0:15:28.760 --> 0:15:32.360 was she. She seemed like a very good friend to everyone. 0:15:32.360 --> 0:15:34.480 I mean she showed up day one with crafts and 0:15:34.520 --> 0:15:37.440 things ready to go. I mean, I'm definitely not that 0:15:37.480 --> 0:15:40.400 friend most days that I come prepared with, you know, 0:15:40.520 --> 0:15:43.120 thoughtful gifts and things. And so she just she set 0:15:43.200 --> 0:15:48.800 this aura in the camp. Because of Sarah's circumstances, the 0:15:48.920 --> 0:15:52.720 counselors had to do everything for her, dress her, cut 0:15:52.720 --> 0:15:56.200 her food into bite sized pieces, even change her feminine 0:15:56.280 --> 0:15:59.920 hygiene products. They bathed her two and she liked to 0:16:00.080 --> 0:16:05.080 shower every evening. I'm five one two, and she was 0:16:05.160 --> 0:16:08.440 significantly bigger and taller than me and the other two caregivers. 0:16:08.560 --> 0:16:11.280 So whoever was lifting her from the front, it's really 0:16:11.320 --> 0:16:13.680 hard to describe, but essentially it's, you know, kind of 0:16:13.680 --> 0:16:15.720 a dead lift to get the weight off of your back. 0:16:16.160 --> 0:16:18.120 But the way she would land, because of her height 0:16:18.200 --> 0:16:20.800 and her weight and her inability to help at all, 0:16:22.080 --> 0:16:25.080 our spines were going the wrong direction, and just the 0:16:25.120 --> 0:16:29.000 weight on the top of our shoulders. But they did it. 0:16:29.000 --> 0:16:32.360 It's why they were there. And as time went on, 0:16:32.760 --> 0:16:37.200 Bethany and Sarah drew closer and closer, until their lives 0:16:37.320 --> 0:16:44.680 became interwoven in unexpected ways. Bethany gave everything she had 0:16:44.840 --> 0:16:47.560 to make sure that Sarah had the kind of vacation 0:16:47.720 --> 0:16:50.360 she came for. It was just a really empowering week 0:16:50.400 --> 0:16:52.360 for a lot of reasons. She got to participate in 0:16:52.400 --> 0:16:55.560 some camp traditions and things. I remember all of the 0:16:55.600 --> 0:16:59.720 conversations of what she didn't have. She didn't have the 0:16:59.720 --> 0:17:02.000 abilitlity to move out on her own and you know, 0:17:02.200 --> 0:17:07.160 have roommates. She wanted to experience freedom, and she really 0:17:07.240 --> 0:17:09.760 wanted to go down the zip line. It's maybe a 0:17:09.800 --> 0:17:12.440 ten second ride. It assumed really fast, but we would 0:17:12.480 --> 0:17:16.600 put her power wheelchair underneath the zip line. There was 0:17:16.680 --> 0:17:19.720 kind of a sack. It has four points with some 0:17:20.240 --> 0:17:22.240 carabineers on it. To be able to lift her with 0:17:22.320 --> 0:17:26.639 some rope out of the power wheelchair and onto the 0:17:26.720 --> 0:17:31.320 zip line. Getting her onto the zip line took a 0:17:31.320 --> 0:17:35.679 lot of staff and delayed activities for other campers. She 0:17:35.800 --> 0:17:37.840 just kept throwing her neck back. There was a lot 0:17:37.880 --> 0:17:39.840 of concern on letting her do this, because she was 0:17:39.880 --> 0:17:42.760 not giving us any assistance. But she finally did it 0:17:42.880 --> 0:17:46.679 and went across and they lowered her down onto the 0:17:46.760 --> 0:17:49.560 deck to unhook the carabineers. And remember her just laying 0:17:49.560 --> 0:17:52.880 there and just sobbing. It felt like such a big 0:17:52.920 --> 0:17:56.679 moment for her. Through it all, Bethany was there for 0:17:56.760 --> 0:18:01.600 the triumphs and the fireside hard hearts. Sara seemed to 0:18:01.640 --> 0:18:04.000 make a point of having one on one time with 0:18:04.119 --> 0:18:08.000 the staff. She was very intentional with her friendships from 0:18:08.040 --> 0:18:11.280 the get go, and I think I just am drawn 0:18:11.320 --> 0:18:15.280 to deep conversation anyway. And so I mean, she told 0:18:15.320 --> 0:18:17.800 me about her home life and things like that and 0:18:18.040 --> 0:18:20.320 college friends and feels like you're packing all these things 0:18:20.359 --> 0:18:23.280 into one week, and so it felt much more heartfelt. 0:18:23.720 --> 0:18:26.119 And then when you all parted at the end of 0:18:26.119 --> 0:18:31.200 the week, what was that goodbye? Like very tearful. We 0:18:31.200 --> 0:18:33.800 were all really sad to see that weekend. Um, we've 0:18:33.800 --> 0:18:37.440 seen a lot of bonding and new relationships formed and things. 0:18:37.480 --> 0:18:41.399 And so I remember Sarah leaving. She was telling one 0:18:41.440 --> 0:18:44.040 of the other campers that she was going to fly 0:18:44.119 --> 0:18:46.879 back to St. Louis, that she had to leave early 0:18:47.000 --> 0:18:51.840 that day, to catch a flight. The goodbye would not 0:18:52.080 --> 0:18:57.000 last for long, as autumn wound down and the weather 0:18:57.040 --> 0:19:01.800 turned cooler. Camp ended, The cow Stlors packed up and dispersed. 0:19:02.560 --> 0:19:05.080 One group made plans to head up to Colorado to 0:19:05.119 --> 0:19:08.280 work at the resorts for the upcoming ski season. We 0:19:08.280 --> 0:19:10.200 were going to kind of do that for a season 0:19:10.200 --> 0:19:12.080 and figure out what we wanted to do in the spring. 0:19:12.640 --> 0:19:16.040 Sarah was calling and texting and sending gifts to all 0:19:16.080 --> 0:19:18.000 of us. I think I was the one that was 0:19:18.000 --> 0:19:22.840 probably communicating with her the most frequently. Thanksgiving week, Bethany 0:19:22.960 --> 0:19:26.200 and her family were on a road trip. Bethany realized 0:19:26.240 --> 0:19:29.320 that they'd be passing close to Sarah's home in Illinois. 0:19:29.960 --> 0:19:32.920 We met her at a cracker barrel at the outskirts 0:19:32.960 --> 0:19:35.960 of her town. She was already waiting at the restaurant 0:19:36.000 --> 0:19:39.600 when they arrived. My family introduced themselves, and uh we 0:19:39.640 --> 0:19:41.840 sat down at a table, and I remember she ordered 0:19:41.920 --> 0:19:44.720 like a thing. It was like a fried chicken or something, 0:19:44.760 --> 0:19:46.880 and so I cut everything up for you know, gave 0:19:46.880 --> 0:19:50.639 her the straw. It was like camp all over again, 0:19:51.200 --> 0:19:53.280 and we sat there in giggled. I remember she was 0:19:53.359 --> 0:19:55.800 in a great mood, super friendly, and bubbly with my family. 0:19:56.200 --> 0:19:58.440 We got ready to leave, and her story was that 0:19:58.480 --> 0:20:00.639 her mom had dropped her off and her mom had 0:20:00.680 --> 0:20:04.720 to take her nephews to their Saturday basketball game, and 0:20:04.720 --> 0:20:06.280 then when she got done with that, her mom was 0:20:06.280 --> 0:20:07.800 gonna come pick her up. But that was why she 0:20:07.840 --> 0:20:09.960 wanted to drop her off at Cracker Barrel, because at 0:20:10.040 --> 0:20:12.560 least Sarah could stay somewhere kind of in a lobby 0:20:12.720 --> 0:20:15.240 area and hang out. I hugged her, took a couple 0:20:15.240 --> 0:20:17.040 of pictures, and then my family and I got on 0:20:17.080 --> 0:20:18.560 the road. She said she had talked to her mom 0:20:18.600 --> 0:20:19.720 and her mom was gonna be there in a few 0:20:19.720 --> 0:20:22.719 minutes and I was just running late. Shortly after Bethany 0:20:22.840 --> 0:20:27.480 arrived in Colorado, her life changed dramatically. I found out 0:20:27.480 --> 0:20:29.920 I was pregnant, so I got a plane ticket back 0:20:29.920 --> 0:20:33.240 to Chattanooga to kind of figure that out. And that 0:20:33.280 --> 0:20:35.840 was really when my friendship with her took off. Was 0:20:36.359 --> 0:20:38.320 her calling and texting all the time, checking on me 0:20:38.320 --> 0:20:41.520 and the baby and asking about things that were going on. 0:20:42.240 --> 0:20:46.160 Bethany was preparing for life as a single mom. I 0:20:46.200 --> 0:20:49.639 was in such a raw, vulnerable place in my life, 0:20:49.920 --> 0:20:52.080 and I felt like she was offering to be a 0:20:52.480 --> 0:20:56.239 new foundation and a new friend. I cried to her 0:20:56.240 --> 0:21:00.280 a lot about different hiccups that were happening about the 0:21:00.280 --> 0:21:04.400 pregnancy and different things that were just really hard situations, 0:21:04.440 --> 0:21:08.040 and she would always cry with me, is what I 0:21:08.080 --> 0:21:10.760 remember now, like looking back on all those conversations, Like 0:21:10.800 --> 0:21:12.680 if I was happy and I was doing well, then 0:21:12.680 --> 0:21:14.960 so was she. You know. If I was happy with 0:21:15.000 --> 0:21:16.639 work and I had a really good day, then so 0:21:16.720 --> 0:21:18.600 did she. But if if we got on the phone 0:21:18.640 --> 0:21:21.399 and she asked about something that was a little sore 0:21:21.480 --> 0:21:23.679 for me at the moment and I started crying, then 0:21:23.720 --> 0:21:27.760 she'd start crying. For a long distance friendship, it quickly 0:21:27.800 --> 0:21:32.359 moved to unvarnished emotion. Sarah talked about how lonely she 0:21:32.560 --> 0:21:37.840 was because she didn't have friends out there, and how 0:21:37.880 --> 0:21:39.960 the friends that she did have, you know, didn't want 0:21:40.000 --> 0:21:42.000 to invite her to go do things because they wanted 0:21:42.040 --> 0:21:44.199 to go out to the bars, for example, and they 0:21:44.240 --> 0:21:45.960 didn't know where they wanted to go to a restaurant, 0:21:45.960 --> 0:21:48.320 but they didn't know how to transfer Sarah if Sarah 0:21:48.359 --> 0:21:51.440 had to go to the restroom. Bethany was also on 0:21:51.440 --> 0:21:55.120 her own preparing for the day when she would suddenly 0:21:55.560 --> 0:21:57.639 not be I just remember there being a lot of 0:21:57.720 --> 0:21:59.720 days where between, you know, trying to figure out how 0:21:59.760 --> 0:22:02.080 am I going to financially support this child. I need 0:22:02.119 --> 0:22:04.560 to find a place to live, I need to find 0:22:04.600 --> 0:22:07.480 a better steady income and figure out how to get 0:22:07.480 --> 0:22:09.600 her and you know, some sort of childcare so that 0:22:09.640 --> 0:22:12.320 I could, Like there were all of the emotions that 0:22:12.359 --> 0:22:16.080 are attached to anything that deals with any of that. 0:22:16.080 --> 0:22:19.080 It was a lot of stress and anxiety and sleepless 0:22:19.160 --> 0:22:22.520 nights and crying, and at every point of that, Sarah 0:22:22.800 --> 0:22:27.120 tried to involve herself and cry with me and reflect 0:22:27.160 --> 0:22:30.320 the same emotions as if she understood. I started to 0:22:30.359 --> 0:22:33.320 feel an obligation to my friendship with her because of 0:22:33.320 --> 0:22:35.920 the tears and because of what she was asking for 0:22:35.960 --> 0:22:39.120 from me, just at an emotional level, and I knew 0:22:39.160 --> 0:22:44.760 that she was also doing that for me. It felt 0:22:44.800 --> 0:22:48.840 like they were two women, each providing a stabilizing force 0:22:48.960 --> 0:22:53.000 during a time of uncertainty. There was one weird thing, though, 0:22:53.400 --> 0:22:56.879 something that wouldn't make sense to Bethany until years later. 0:22:57.359 --> 0:22:59.840 I remember her asking several times for my ultrasounds, and 0:23:00.320 --> 0:23:03.480 I was always driving when she asked me, and I go, yeah, yeah, 0:23:03.600 --> 0:23:04.920 when I park, you know, when I get to where 0:23:04.920 --> 0:23:06.560 I'm going, I'll send it. I always forgot to send it. 0:23:06.680 --> 0:23:08.680 She kept pestering me about the ultrasound, and I started 0:23:08.720 --> 0:23:10.000 to get to a point where I felt bad because 0:23:10.040 --> 0:23:12.600 it was just pregnancy brain. I just kept forgetting to 0:23:12.640 --> 0:23:19.840 send it to her, but she asked multiple times. During 0:23:19.880 --> 0:23:23.960 their conversations. Sarah was making plans to return to Camp 0:23:24.000 --> 0:23:27.080 Summit for the spring session. We talked a lot the 0:23:27.119 --> 0:23:29.359 two prior weeks before she went to camp, but she 0:23:29.440 --> 0:23:31.440 was anxious about it because it wasn't going to be 0:23:31.480 --> 0:23:33.720 the same staff, and so I think Sarah was really 0:23:33.800 --> 0:23:36.480