WEBVTT - "Spitting" w/ Murray Hill 0:00:21.400 --> 0:00:23.520 Podcast starts now. What is up, everyone around the globe? 0:00:23.540 --> 0:00:25.780 You're listening to Stradialab in New York City, mind you. 0:00:25.920 --> 0:00:28.590 Happy first day of fall in New York City. I mean, 0:00:28.670 --> 0:00:32.610 you can feel it. I'm wearing a sweater. I stood up. 0:00:32.810 --> 0:00:36.150 I was up late last night reading my book. in 0:00:36.190 --> 0:00:39.890 a cozy, in my cozy bed. It is, I want 0:00:39.930 --> 0:00:42.169 a giant thing of hot chocolate to sip. 0:00:43.130 --> 0:00:46.470 It's absolutely incredible. I mean, I must say I'm, as 0:00:46.490 --> 0:00:48.990 someone that currently lives in Los Angeles, I will say 0:00:49.010 --> 0:00:52.170 when I wake up and it's cloudy, it does trigger something, 0:00:52.250 --> 0:00:55.350 a panic in me. Like I can't enjoy it. I 0:00:55.380 --> 0:00:58.000 get scared. And I'm like, yeah, there's something about me 0:00:58.040 --> 0:01:00.460 right now where, but it's also, as I was telling you, 0:01:00.500 --> 0:01:01.080 I'm depressed. 0:01:01.400 --> 0:01:03.240 You are depressed. So let's talk more about that. 0:01:03.760 --> 0:01:06.539 So I just recorded my special. And now that I 0:01:06.580 --> 0:01:08.960 did it, I'm like, I'm embarrassed in a way that like, 0:01:09.060 --> 0:01:10.720 I feel like I threw a big birthday party for myself. 0:01:10.760 --> 0:01:12.680 And then I'm like, why did I do that? You know, like, 0:01:12.720 --> 0:01:14.940 it's like, it's very shameful. Oh, I see. 0:01:14.980 --> 0:01:17.140 So it's not just that you had this high, high, 0:01:17.200 --> 0:01:19.440 and now you're crashing. It's that you're like, I can't 0:01:19.459 --> 0:01:20.399 believe I just did that. 0:01:20.600 --> 0:01:20.880 Yeah. 0:01:20.920 --> 0:01:23.140 You're almost, it's like post, or if you're a Catholic 0:01:23.180 --> 0:01:24.880 post orgasm and you're like, I need to take a shower. 0:01:25.020 --> 0:01:25.660 Exactly. 0:01:25.880 --> 0:01:26.940 That's exactly what it is. 0:01:27.200 --> 0:01:30.280 You have to fight that. In our business, you have 0:01:30.340 --> 0:01:33.100 to be, you have to embrace your narcissism. You can't 0:01:33.160 --> 0:01:35.240 be having shame about wanting attention. 0:01:35.420 --> 0:01:38.430 I literally need to apologize to all the cameramen. I 0:01:38.430 --> 0:01:40.350 need to be like, hey, sorry, you couldn't hang out 0:01:40.370 --> 0:01:41.289 with your families that night. 0:01:41.350 --> 0:01:43.890 No, this is why we're not more successful. Because both 0:01:43.920 --> 0:01:44.860 of us are full of shame. 0:01:45.540 --> 0:01:48.680 It's wild. And all day today I've been like, okay, 0:01:48.700 --> 0:01:50.140 I need to repent. Like, I really feel like I 0:01:50.140 --> 0:01:50.620 need to repent. 0:01:51.010 --> 0:01:52.470 Yeah, well, you know, my new idea is step and 0:01:52.510 --> 0:01:53.880 repent instead of step and repeat. 0:01:53.890 --> 0:01:54.960 I need the step and repent. 0:01:55.020 --> 0:01:56.800 Where you're on a red carpet and then you can 0:01:56.900 --> 0:01:59.060 repent to camera and then you get it out of 0:01:59.080 --> 0:02:00.920 the way. You go into the event. Time for the 0:02:00.940 --> 0:02:01.360 big premiere. 0:02:01.540 --> 0:02:04.020 I need that so bad. I would really be healed 0:02:04.040 --> 0:02:04.580 if I did that. 0:02:04.820 --> 0:02:07.070 Well, speaking of repenting, we have Mr. 0:02:07.090 --> 0:02:09.550 Shobis and Shane. We have Mr. 0:02:09.570 --> 0:02:13.990 Shobis himself on the podcast today. And I, the Murray 0:02:14.050 --> 0:02:16.290 Hill who is on today, Murray Hill's book arrived to 0:02:16.330 --> 0:02:19.049 my apartment yesterday and I brought it here. and you 0:02:19.110 --> 0:02:20.190 hadn't even seen it yet. 0:02:20.389 --> 0:02:20.910 No, it looks great. 0:02:20.950 --> 0:02:22.410 This is your first time seeing your own book. 0:02:22.690 --> 0:02:26.580 You know, fellas, I was a little late. Oh, please. No, 0:02:26.700 --> 0:02:29.299 not to the podcast. Guys, take it easy. I was 0:02:29.500 --> 0:02:32.359 late in finishing the book, so they never printed galleys. 0:02:33.300 --> 0:02:35.720 So I never saw the book. So, you know, it's... 0:02:36.030 --> 0:02:36.770 It's nice and thick. 0:02:36.889 --> 0:02:39.459 It's very thick. It's nice and thick. You can say 0:02:39.480 --> 0:02:39.859 that again. 0:02:39.900 --> 0:02:41.000 Amazing font. 0:02:41.260 --> 0:02:44.740 Beautiful font. Great image. Look at these blurbs. Sarah Jessica Parker. 0:02:44.760 --> 0:02:45.339 Sarah Jessica Parker. 0:02:45.360 --> 0:02:47.540 Bridget Everett. Jeff Hiller. Okay, well, these are coworkers, so 0:02:47.560 --> 0:02:50.070 they don't count. But Kathleen Hanna. 0:02:50.230 --> 0:02:50.389 Yeah. 0:02:50.990 --> 0:02:54.150 Margaret Cho. Amy Sedaris. I mean, come on. 0:02:54.169 --> 0:02:56.350 Showbiz. It's showbiz. 0:02:57.010 --> 0:02:59.440 I asked your agents, but they didn't get back to me. 0:03:00.110 --> 0:03:00.829 What did you ask them? 0:03:00.950 --> 0:03:03.450 Oh, my. Oh, for a blurb. Yeah, we could have given. 0:03:03.490 --> 0:03:04.910 They didn't get back to us either, if you know 0:03:04.930 --> 0:03:05.810 what I mean. 0:03:06.910 --> 0:03:07.630 Showbiz. 0:03:10.030 --> 0:03:12.450 Guys, there's a pause, so I'm going to. I have 0:03:12.470 --> 0:03:13.109 a quick question. 0:03:13.130 --> 0:03:13.490 Yeah, please. 0:03:13.889 --> 0:03:17.270 So straight lab, right? 0:03:17.350 --> 0:03:18.130 Stradio lab. 0:03:18.150 --> 0:03:21.370 Stradio, straight. That's all I see is Stradio lab. So 0:03:21.930 --> 0:03:24.530 I'm a little freaked out because, first of all, I 0:03:24.550 --> 0:03:26.430 just want to say to the camera that I love 0:03:26.470 --> 0:03:27.470 gay people. They're a lot of fun. 0:03:28.540 --> 0:03:29.220 Should be- Sometimes. 0:03:29.360 --> 0:03:30.100 Have equal rights. 0:03:30.800 --> 0:03:31.280 Occasionally. 0:03:32.520 --> 0:03:36.970 But I did think this was a bro straight podcast 0:03:37.090 --> 0:03:39.590 and I'm not saying you both are gay, but I'm 0:03:39.630 --> 0:03:42.330 getting that vibe because you started off talking about like 0:03:42.370 --> 0:03:43.390 gay shame and- Of. 0:03:43.390 --> 0:03:44.330 Course, yeah, yeah. 0:03:44.490 --> 0:03:48.119 You're both wearing these outfits that if, straight people wore them, 0:03:48.440 --> 0:03:49.120 it would make sense. 0:03:49.360 --> 0:03:50.660 That's true. Oh, interesting. 0:03:50.700 --> 0:03:55.030 That's interesting. So I didn't know this was Gayolab. 0:03:55.040 --> 0:03:58.970 We do actually, we do Gayolab once a year for Pride, 0:03:59.070 --> 0:04:02.590 where someone brings a gay topic. But the rest of 0:04:02.630 --> 0:04:05.350 the year we do Straight Ear Lab. And basically it's, 0:04:05.410 --> 0:04:06.010 you know, we are. 0:04:06.030 --> 0:04:10.310 So confused. So- They didn't tell me. But I like guys. 0:04:10.330 --> 0:04:10.890 You guys are fun. 0:04:10.910 --> 0:04:13.160 So I'm sorry. You want your agents to email you 0:04:13.180 --> 0:04:14.940 whenever there is a career opportunity and tell you the 0:04:14.980 --> 0:04:17.339 sexuality and gender identity of the person that is giving 0:04:17.380 --> 0:04:17.620 it to you? 0:04:18.200 --> 0:04:22.599 Well, you know, straight lab. So I thought this was 0:04:22.620 --> 0:04:25.000 a straight lab. So I wore this outfit. You know, 0:04:25.060 --> 0:04:26.880 I tried to blend with the guys. I come in 0:04:26.920 --> 0:04:29.940 here and you guys are wearing fucking khakis. I mean, 0:04:29.960 --> 0:04:30.640 this is fucked up. 0:04:31.480 --> 0:04:34.580 I'll have you know, these are designer khakis that only 0:04:34.620 --> 0:04:35.660 gay men have access to. 0:04:35.779 --> 0:04:38.520 Mine are a collab. These are khakis that are a collab. 0:04:38.560 --> 0:04:41.640 I had to get his specially tailored for his special taping. 0:04:41.700 --> 0:04:44.920 First, I ordered them way too small, got them tailored 0:04:44.960 --> 0:04:47.920 way too big, and now they don't fit at all. Same. 0:04:48.420 --> 0:04:49.880 Can we get a close-up of that? 0:04:50.900 --> 0:04:52.310 You need to make up your mind. Before you said 0:04:52.320 --> 0:04:53.909 you didn't want a close-up. You didn't want a close-up 0:04:54.050 --> 0:04:54.909 of anything neck down. 0:04:54.930 --> 0:04:58.010 I'm doing a bit, right? Taking this fucking guy. 0:04:58.029 --> 0:04:59.830 But we can be a straight podcast if you want. 0:04:59.850 --> 0:05:00.290 That's right. 0:05:00.310 --> 0:05:01.590 Do you watch the big game? 0:05:01.790 --> 0:05:02.090 Yeah. 0:05:02.270 --> 0:05:05.410 Yeah, you know, two guys in the Giants got injured 0:05:05.450 --> 0:05:05.810 last night. 0:05:06.310 --> 0:05:06.950 Is that true? 0:05:06.970 --> 0:05:07.409 It's football. 0:05:07.529 --> 0:05:08.370 That's so sad. 0:05:08.570 --> 0:05:09.210 Oh, my God. 0:05:09.250 --> 0:05:11.280 Well, I hope- It's not sad. They worked hard. They're tough. 0:05:11.440 --> 0:05:12.520 They deserve concussions. 0:05:13.460 --> 0:05:13.800 That's true. 0:05:13.820 --> 0:05:14.860 They worked hard for those concussions. 0:05:14.880 --> 0:05:16.680 They worked hard for those concussions. It's a badge of honor. 0:05:17.700 --> 0:05:19.990 Any conspiracy theories you believe in or want to get 0:05:20.010 --> 0:05:20.929 off your chest really quick? 0:05:21.050 --> 0:05:24.089 Yeah, any races or ethnicities that you don't. 0:05:23.910 --> 0:05:25.310 Really like that much. What sort of protein powders are 0:05:25.330 --> 0:05:25.710 you on? 0:05:28.270 --> 0:05:31.910 I actually don't get it. So guys, guys, I get 0:05:31.990 --> 0:05:34.669 all my health advice from Instagram. 0:05:34.690 --> 0:05:35.510 From RFK Jr. 0:05:35.670 --> 0:05:39.430 No, Instagram. It's a step higher than RFK. Yeah, barely. 0:05:39.450 --> 0:05:40.010 No, very. 0:05:40.150 --> 0:05:45.299 And apparently for every pound that you weigh, you're supposed 0:05:45.339 --> 0:05:47.839 to have a gram of protein. 0:05:48.260 --> 0:05:49.080 If you're building muscle. 0:05:49.600 --> 0:05:52.540 Yeah, so I have not found, and maybe now that 0:05:52.560 --> 0:05:54.460 I know you guys are gay, and you like health 0:05:54.550 --> 0:05:57.830 and work out and stuff, is now that I know, 0:05:57.950 --> 0:06:02.510 so basically I have to have 220 grams of protein 0:06:02.930 --> 0:06:04.650 per day. If you want to gain muscle. 0:06:04.670 --> 0:06:05.270 And I can't figure it out. 0:06:05.410 --> 0:06:06.969 Are you trying to get really, really buff? 0:06:08.630 --> 0:06:10.719 Yeah. Okay, all right, well there you go. 0:06:10.870 --> 0:06:12.710 I mean, this is buff underneath. 0:06:14.680 --> 0:06:16.760 I wasn't accusing you of not being buff already. No, 0:06:16.779 --> 0:06:17.080 that's right. 0:06:17.100 --> 0:06:20.580 I'm not a gazer into the bodies and stuff. I'm 0:06:20.620 --> 0:06:21.200 like a bear. 0:06:21.220 --> 0:06:23.940 What you're describing isn't the amount of protein you need 0:06:24.020 --> 0:06:25.580 just to be like a healthy person in the world. 0:06:25.640 --> 0:06:27.940 It's the amount of protein. I seriously thought that was. 0:06:28.000 --> 0:06:30.750 It's the amount of protein you need to like bulk up. 0:06:30.990 --> 0:06:33.210 You know what I mean? If you have less than that, 0:06:33.589 --> 0:06:36.410 you'll be fine. You just won't be like huge and muscular. 0:06:36.910 --> 0:06:39.630 So yesterday I had an egg sandwich for breakfast. 0:06:39.790 --> 0:06:40.070 Great. 0:06:40.210 --> 0:06:41.729 Okay. 0:06:42.130 --> 0:06:42.979 And then I had some chips. 0:06:43.470 --> 0:06:43.950 Okay. 0:06:44.040 --> 0:06:44.830 And some Cheez-Its. 0:06:45.240 --> 0:06:45.310 Yum. 0:06:45.320 --> 0:06:47.360 And that was it. So I didn't get too much protein. 0:06:47.380 --> 0:06:49.179 So you're on Atkins. Yes. 0:06:49.740 --> 0:06:51.960 Well, I love those chips and Cheez-Its. The Cheez-Its aren't 0:06:51.980 --> 0:06:52.220 the chips. 0:06:52.339 --> 0:06:53.420 They were separate. 0:06:53.640 --> 0:06:53.960 Of course. 0:06:53.990 --> 0:06:55.010 Different meals. Different meals. 0:06:55.190 --> 0:06:58.070 I think the Cheez-Its were from your green room. Oh, 0:06:58.110 --> 0:06:58.270 my God. 0:06:58.290 --> 0:07:00.830 Well, you're welcome then. We'll be Venmo-ing you for the 0:07:00.890 --> 0:07:01.779 total price of that, too. 0:07:02.750 --> 0:07:04.089 Showbiz. 0:07:04.310 --> 0:07:06.429 I keep getting health advice on Instagram as well. 0:07:06.650 --> 0:07:07.650 What kind of advice are you getting? 0:07:07.690 --> 0:07:09.770 Well, they're always trying to get me to get more flexible. 0:07:10.050 --> 0:07:12.890 Instagram really knows that I'm not flexible. 0:07:12.950 --> 0:07:14.070 Everyone loves hip flexors. 0:07:14.090 --> 0:07:14.730 The jumping, right? 0:07:14.750 --> 0:07:15.730 Do you get that one? 0:07:15.810 --> 0:07:16.970 The little jumps in this? 0:07:17.210 --> 0:07:17.470 Yes. 0:07:17.490 --> 0:07:18.170 And the dead arms? 0:07:18.190 --> 0:07:20.510 Yes, exactly. And I'm sort of like, can you guys 0:07:20.540 --> 0:07:21.250 make a list? 0:07:21.310 --> 0:07:22.760 I'm not going to be able to find this video 0:07:22.780 --> 0:07:24.720 when I actually want it. Okay, see ya. 0:07:24.760 --> 0:07:27.480 I've never had something in common with a gay man before. 0:07:27.500 --> 0:07:28.660 That can't be true. 0:07:28.680 --> 0:07:29.140 I doubt that. 0:07:29.400 --> 0:07:34.160 It is kind of true. I get sucked into that 0:07:34.220 --> 0:07:37.480 shit and I always want a list of all of 0:07:37.540 --> 0:07:38.920 the moves because I can't remember. 0:07:38.940 --> 0:07:39.560 There's no way to remember. 0:07:39.580 --> 0:07:42.220 Because I'm in showbiz and a certain age and gummies 0:07:42.280 --> 0:07:42.440 and ADHD. 0:07:42.460 --> 0:07:43.680 You have all the lines in your head. 0:07:43.900 --> 0:07:49.110 Yeah, so I, this is so neurotic, I save these 0:07:49.170 --> 0:07:52.870 videos like three times a day. I've never once gone 0:07:52.910 --> 0:07:53.230 back to. 0:07:53.190 --> 0:07:54.050 Look at it. I was about to say. 0:07:54.070 --> 0:07:56.670 Because I want one page with a list. 0:07:56.950 --> 0:07:57.250 Yes. 0:07:57.350 --> 0:08:00.870 Because I can't remember the trunk moving, the hops, let's 0:08:00.890 --> 0:08:02.770 see if we can do it. The, this one? 0:08:03.670 --> 0:08:05.120 There's like the dead arm, this one. 0:08:05.130 --> 0:08:05.750 Yeah, the dead arms. 0:08:06.250 --> 0:08:09.410 There's like a, there's a slight like bending one, but 0:08:09.540 --> 0:08:10.630 I don't think I can want to do that one. 0:08:11.560 --> 0:08:17.240 That's not what I heard. But the rim shot, not 0:08:17.280 --> 0:08:18.020 job shot. 0:08:21.090 --> 0:08:24.890 But yeah, I don't know who actually uses these videos 0:08:24.970 --> 0:08:27.940 to actually do the workouts. I'm also like, I don't 0:08:27.950 --> 0:08:29.240 think I should be doing this solo. I think I 0:08:29.250 --> 0:08:31.260 need a person watching me, a coach, if you will. 0:08:31.640 --> 0:08:33.920 Tell us what to do next. Like a trainer, perhaps. 0:08:34.260 --> 0:08:35.040 Sure, maybe a coach. 0:08:35.059 --> 0:08:35.780 Maybe a professional. 0:08:35.800 --> 0:08:36.190 Can we do it? 0:08:36.360 --> 0:08:38.500 Should we try to do it on B-roll after we 0:08:38.540 --> 0:08:40.120 do this? We'll try to do this. 0:08:40.140 --> 0:08:42.459 We're doing a guided workout and then a guided meditation. 0:08:42.520 --> 0:08:45.480 And I'm going to perform a Reiki series on the 0:08:45.500 --> 0:08:45.810 two of you. 0:08:45.820 --> 0:08:46.960 Do you get health stuff on Instagram? 0:08:48.040 --> 0:08:50.900 Not what you're describing. I'm getting bulking stuff. I'm getting 0:08:51.040 --> 0:08:53.980 what the first, like protein stuff. I'm getting like, if 0:08:54.040 --> 0:08:57.120 you really want the, get ready, because this is going 0:08:57.140 --> 0:08:59.340 to be body negative. Are you ready for this? It's 0:08:59.360 --> 0:09:00.700 not my fault that I get these things. 0:09:00.760 --> 0:09:02.160 It's not my fault that I get these things. 0:09:02.400 --> 0:09:04.160 I get a lot of content that is how to 0:09:04.300 --> 0:09:09.450 battle skinny fat body type. Do you know what skinny 0:09:09.470 --> 0:09:09.770 fat is? 0:09:09.809 --> 0:09:10.489 I actually don't. 0:09:11.110 --> 0:09:14.829 Skinny fat is when you are skinny, but like, kind 0:09:14.870 --> 0:09:17.089 of flabby, I guess you would say. It's like, imagine 0:09:17.130 --> 0:09:19.990 like a skinny guy that has like love handles. 0:09:20.890 --> 0:09:25.520 And so- I don't want to imagine that. I thought 0:09:25.540 --> 0:09:26.800 this was a straight show. 0:09:27.000 --> 0:09:29.180 This is sort of what my algorithm is also. My 0:09:29.240 --> 0:09:32.390 algorithm is also like, imagine that. Is it pictures? No, 0:09:32.400 --> 0:09:35.800 there's no pictures. Those would be censored, of course. But 0:09:36.020 --> 0:09:40.170 it is basically like, I think it has been decided 0:09:40.210 --> 0:09:43.010 in the gay community that that is the worst possible 0:09:43.050 --> 0:09:44.190 body type one can have. 0:09:44.980 --> 0:09:46.140 So is it better to be chubby? 0:09:46.260 --> 0:09:48.740 Yes, because if you're chubby, you're a bear. We know 0:09:48.760 --> 0:09:51.819 where to put you. We know where to put you, right? 0:09:51.980 --> 0:09:54.309 If you're chubby, amazing. There's a community for you. If 0:09:54.330 --> 0:09:57.050 you're skinny, twinkie, you're amazing. There's a community for you. 0:09:57.570 --> 0:09:59.190 If you can't fit into one of those buckets. 0:09:59.630 --> 0:10:01.980 If you're skinny, skinny fat, we have to kill you. 0:10:02.260 --> 0:10:03.679 You are between two worlds? 0:10:04.120 --> 0:10:07.400 Unless you follow these five simple steps. And so that's 0:10:07.420 --> 0:10:07.880 what I'm getting. 0:10:07.900 --> 0:10:09.160 What if you're fat skinny? 0:10:09.900 --> 0:10:11.040 Oh, I would love to hear what that is. 0:10:11.040 --> 0:10:12.180 How would that work? 0:10:12.440 --> 0:10:16.360 Well... Young people. 0:10:16.460 --> 0:10:18.800 I have an idea for how that would work. Ready? Okay. Like, 0:10:19.140 --> 0:10:21.900 if you're... really big, but have like really skinny arms. 0:10:22.160 --> 0:10:22.870 Maybe that's fat skinny. 0:10:22.890 --> 0:10:23.990 Oh, that's good. 0:10:24.090 --> 0:10:25.030 Is that how you identify? 0:10:25.309 --> 0:10:28.429 Well, I identify as a lot of things. None of 0:10:28.470 --> 0:10:31.270 which are appropriate for a podcast. But yeah, I've got 0:10:31.290 --> 0:10:32.910 skinny fingers. 0:10:33.270 --> 0:10:33.490 Okay. 0:10:33.510 --> 0:10:35.270 And I got, you know, just big right here. So 0:10:35.309 --> 0:10:36.510 I guess I'm fat skinny. 0:10:36.890 --> 0:10:37.330 Okay. 0:10:37.350 --> 0:10:38.270 I mean, I guess I have skinny. 0:10:38.290 --> 0:10:40.920 No, actually. 0:10:41.160 --> 0:10:43.579 But is there a support group for guys like that? 0:10:43.740 --> 0:10:45.480 For skinny fat guys? Yes. 0:10:46.080 --> 0:10:46.520 Fat, big. 0:10:47.160 --> 0:10:47.660 Fat gay. 0:10:47.679 --> 0:10:50.150 Skinny fat gay guys. 0:10:50.429 --> 0:10:53.689 Is there a support group for skinny fat gay guys? Well, 0:10:54.210 --> 0:10:56.750 I just think it is the last remaining, in an 0:10:56.830 --> 0:10:59.410 era of body positivity, it is the last community that 0:10:59.470 --> 0:11:03.510 faces prejudice in the LGBTQ plus community. And I'm basically 0:11:03.550 --> 0:11:04.090 not even kidding. 0:11:04.210 --> 0:11:06.970 Well, there's not a body neutrality movement for skinny fat. 0:11:07.010 --> 0:11:08.290 Yes. Have you heard of body neutrality? 0:11:09.440 --> 0:11:09.679 Oh, God. 0:11:09.700 --> 0:11:11.900 Okay, so body positivity is like, I feel amazing about 0:11:11.920 --> 0:11:13.760 my body no matter what I look like. Body neutrality. 0:11:13.820 --> 0:11:16.150 I've never heard of that either. That's not something I've experienced. 0:11:16.690 --> 0:11:20.250 Body neutrality is like, I'm simply neutral about how I look. 0:11:20.550 --> 0:11:21.310 I don't feel good about it. 0:11:21.350 --> 0:11:23.130 I don't feel bad about it. It is just my body. 0:11:23.690 --> 0:11:24.950 Wait, what are you guys hearing about this shit? 0:11:24.970 --> 0:11:26.950 Let me try doing body neutrality. Didn't work. 0:11:26.970 --> 0:11:32.910 Let me try. That was it. 0:11:32.910 --> 0:11:33.900 Did you feel it? 0:11:33.910 --> 0:11:34.890 Congratulations, did you do it? 0:11:34.890 --> 0:11:36.290 No, but what are you learning about this shit? 0:11:37.290 --> 0:11:38.770 I learned about it yesterday on our podcast. 0:11:38.910 --> 0:11:39.949 Oh yeah, I told you about it. 0:11:39.990 --> 0:11:44.650 You know what I did learn? What? I'm going to 0:11:44.670 --> 0:11:45.150 get canceled. 0:11:45.190 --> 0:11:45.570 No, you're not. 0:11:45.590 --> 0:11:47.490 Because anytime I'm with gay guys, I like- Do you 0:11:47.510 --> 0:11:47.850 get canceled? 0:11:47.870 --> 0:11:48.510 You want to be bad? 0:11:48.730 --> 0:11:49.790 No, I don't want to be bad, but I want 0:11:49.809 --> 0:11:51.910 to ask you things that I've- Ask, ask, ask. Because 0:11:51.929 --> 0:11:54.590 you just told me about four words I've never even 0:11:54.610 --> 0:11:54.830 heard of. 0:11:54.850 --> 0:11:55.420 Well, let's hear it. 0:11:56.530 --> 0:11:58.410 I heard, but I don't know if it's the right definition. 0:12:01.020 --> 0:12:03.120 I'm ex-Catholic. I can't wait. Ex-Catholic. 0:12:03.440 --> 0:12:03.740 Shame. 0:12:04.420 --> 0:12:04.959 Felching. 0:12:05.679 --> 0:12:06.380 Oh, felching. 0:12:06.460 --> 0:12:07.180 Yeah, that's classic. 0:12:07.200 --> 0:12:07.880 You can take this one. 0:12:07.900 --> 0:12:11.120 What do you want to know about it? Well. 0:12:11.600 --> 0:12:12.400 Have you heard about sides? 0:12:13.140 --> 0:12:13.319 What? 0:12:13.660 --> 0:12:17.140 Have you heard about sides? If someone identifies it as 0:12:17.220 --> 0:12:17.380 a side. 0:12:17.400 --> 0:12:18.359 Like sides when I'm doing a self-tape? 0:12:18.380 --> 0:12:18.600 Yes. 0:12:18.860 --> 0:12:20.220 So do you want to know what a side is? 0:12:20.440 --> 0:12:21.320 What is a side? 0:12:21.620 --> 0:12:24.320 I'll explain sides and then you explain felching. See what 0:12:24.340 --> 0:12:24.660 I did there? 0:12:24.679 --> 0:12:25.439 I got the gross one. 0:12:25.460 --> 0:12:28.760 You got the gross one. A side is a gay 0:12:28.800 --> 0:12:33.350 man who doesn't. like anal sex at all. So he's 0:12:33.390 --> 0:12:35.130 not a top or a bottom. He just wants to 0:12:35.170 --> 0:12:37.920 do other kinds of stuff. So he's a side because 0:12:37.960 --> 0:12:39.540 it's not a top or a bottom. 0:12:40.260 --> 0:12:43.120 Well, what else is there to do? No, it's a 0:12:43.160 --> 0:12:44.359 valid question, Sammy. 0:12:44.880 --> 0:12:45.440 Hand and mouth stuff. 0:12:45.460 --> 0:12:46.239 Hand and mouth stuff. 0:12:46.260 --> 0:12:47.660 Come on. 0:12:47.720 --> 0:12:48.730 Come on. 0:12:48.780 --> 0:12:49.520 Be open-minded. 0:12:49.580 --> 0:12:54.589 Guys, I thought this was hand and mouth. Oh, God. 0:12:54.610 --> 0:12:55.970 I don't care what you do in the bedroom. Just, 0:12:55.990 --> 0:12:56.630 I don't want to see it. 0:12:58.190 --> 0:13:00.750 Wait, a side? Yeah. Yeah, what do you think about that? 0:13:01.010 --> 0:13:02.109 You need to go back to your community. 0:13:02.130 --> 0:13:03.990 Well, I like sides, like when I go to Ruth's Steakhouse. 0:13:04.010 --> 0:13:07.670 Like an appetizer? Of course. Like a creamed spinach. 0:13:07.690 --> 0:13:08.890 Sometimes I order all sides. 0:13:09.370 --> 0:13:10.170 Oh, my gosh. 0:13:10.390 --> 0:13:10.569 Yeah. 0:13:11.070 --> 0:13:12.830 Tater tots, mashed potatoes. 0:13:13.170 --> 0:13:14.719 In what context did you hear about felching? 0:13:14.880 --> 0:13:15.150 Yeah. 0:13:16.150 --> 0:13:17.340 Who was bringing this up with you? 0:13:17.380 --> 0:13:18.220 I do have a gay friend. 0:13:18.520 --> 0:13:19.140 Oh, that's nice. 0:13:19.200 --> 0:13:23.609 Who was in a relationship and... They broke up, and 0:13:23.630 --> 0:13:26.109 he was heartbroken, and then there's this prep thing going around, 0:13:26.190 --> 0:13:26.470 I guess. 0:13:26.490 --> 0:13:27.429 I don't know what that is. 0:13:27.450 --> 0:13:29.850 Did they break up because of felching in some way? 0:13:30.150 --> 0:13:31.110 Well, I don't think so. 0:13:31.130 --> 0:13:31.870 Or because of prep. 0:13:31.950 --> 0:13:32.729 Or because of prep. 0:13:33.390 --> 0:13:37.620 Maybe. So after they broke up, he has been going 0:13:37.650 --> 0:13:38.170 on a bender. 0:13:38.960 --> 0:13:39.540 That'll happen. 0:13:39.980 --> 0:13:42.990 And, you know, I've been around boys. I'm in my 50s. 0:13:43.000 --> 0:13:46.100 I've seen a lot, done a lot. But he was 0:13:46.140 --> 0:13:49.780 telling me that gay guys go to a hotel. 0:13:49.800 --> 0:13:51.420 Yeah. 0:13:51.460 --> 0:13:53.339 I'm going to get it. What am I talking about? 0:13:54.100 --> 0:13:58.150 I thought this was a fucking sports show. A guy 0:13:58.190 --> 0:14:01.089 goes to the hotel. Uh-huh. Stranger. 0:14:01.290 --> 0:14:02.209 Yeah, I see where this is going. 0:14:02.450 --> 0:14:03.370 Doesn't have any clothes on. 0:14:03.590 --> 0:14:04.030 Yeah. 0:14:04.130 --> 0:14:05.030 On all fours on the bed. 0:14:05.050 --> 0:14:05.530 Uh-huh. 0:14:05.910 --> 0:14:06.229 And then. 0:14:07.850 --> 0:14:09.920 No loads refused. Have you heard that term? 0:14:09.960 --> 0:14:11.600 I'm so sorry. We've got young people here. 0:14:11.620 --> 0:14:12.660 No, it's not right. It's not right. 0:14:12.720 --> 0:14:12.960 People. 0:14:13.540 --> 0:14:15.180 Gay guys come in. I don't even know how they 0:14:15.200 --> 0:14:15.380 find it. 0:14:15.380 --> 0:14:16.540 They come in in more ways than one. 0:14:16.559 --> 0:14:18.950 Yeah, they come in. They put some stuff in the 0:14:18.990 --> 0:14:19.450 back door. 0:14:19.470 --> 0:14:20.040 Period. 0:14:20.090 --> 0:14:20.900 And then they leave. 0:14:21.570 --> 0:14:21.850 Bye-bye. 0:14:22.050 --> 0:14:24.370 And then a guy comes in, like the 10th guy 0:14:24.430 --> 0:14:24.850 comes in. 0:14:24.990 --> 0:14:25.270 Yeah. 0:14:26.110 --> 0:14:28.890 And has an iced coffee, if you know what I'm saying. 0:14:28.910 --> 0:14:29.490 Oh, God. 0:14:29.510 --> 0:14:30.080 They drink it. 0:14:31.310 --> 0:14:34.630 Oh, that's less common. That's more niche, I think. 0:14:34.890 --> 0:14:36.830 Yeah. What's that called? What's felching? 0:14:36.870 --> 0:14:38.970 That's felching, but it's just kind of niche. 0:14:39.010 --> 0:14:41.700 Yeah, and we're not judging in any way, but I think- 0:14:41.720 --> 0:14:42.000 I don't do it. 0:14:43.170 --> 0:14:45.090 I'm married, baby, I've never done that. 0:14:45.110 --> 0:14:46.859 Oh, and you think a married person can't do it. 0:14:47.260 --> 0:14:48.340 That's very interesting. 0:14:48.360 --> 0:14:49.020 That's really interesting. 0:14:50.860 --> 0:14:53.000 Wait, felching is the drinking part of putting. 0:14:52.780 --> 0:14:54.980 It in or loading up? Yeah, the drinking part. 0:14:55.640 --> 0:14:57.730 Oh, so what's the loading up? I'm trying to talk 0:14:57.790 --> 0:14:58.130 in metaphors. 0:14:58.150 --> 0:14:59.230 Loads are just loads. 0:14:59.310 --> 0:15:00.610 No loads refused. Oh, so it's sides? 0:15:02.750 --> 0:15:05.410 Lodes, body neutrality. Is there going to be a fucking 0:15:05.430 --> 0:15:06.470 quiz after this? 0:15:06.490 --> 0:15:07.109 Yeah, there sure is. 0:15:07.110 --> 0:15:08.170 There's a midterm for sure. 0:15:08.210 --> 0:15:10.130 Oh, so the felching's the actual drinking of it. 0:15:10.170 --> 0:15:13.030 See, I didn't know that. Oh, yeah, that's the felching part. 0:15:14.810 --> 0:15:17.270 So it's lodes and felching. 0:15:17.510 --> 0:15:18.310 Body neutrality. 0:15:19.030 --> 0:15:21.130 First comes lodes, then comes felching. 0:15:22.070 --> 0:15:25.030 And then when you do a lot of that, you're like, 0:15:25.190 --> 0:15:26.370 you know what? I'm a side. 0:15:29.160 --> 0:15:31.850 When you're a side, you're at peace. That's right. 0:15:31.910 --> 0:15:36.170 Put the rim shot in, this kid's good. Fuck, wow. 0:15:36.930 --> 0:15:38.470 Any other gay things you can tell me about? 0:15:39.130 --> 0:15:41.250 Have you heard of Addison Rae? 0:15:42.810 --> 0:15:43.610 Is that a person? 0:15:43.650 --> 0:15:43.850 Yes. 0:15:43.950 --> 0:15:46.190 Or a thing? She's a really young pop star. She 0:15:46.210 --> 0:15:48.970 just came out onto the scene a couple years ago. 0:15:50.510 --> 0:15:52.510 She is blonde. 0:15:52.290 --> 0:15:54.110 And- She is a dancer. 0:15:54.130 --> 0:15:57.720 She's very influenced by certain eras of Madonna. She dances 0:15:57.760 --> 0:15:58.340 a lot. 0:15:58.460 --> 0:15:59.500 She's sort of a normal girl. 0:15:59.520 --> 0:16:01.030 Yeah, she's kind of like a normal girl, but also 0:16:01.050 --> 0:16:03.610 a pop star. But cool. But cool. Who else? 0:16:04.010 --> 0:16:05.910 I'm not ringing any bells. 0:16:05.970 --> 0:16:06.770 Who's your pop star? 0:16:07.470 --> 0:16:09.370 Well, you love Tina Turner. I know from reading your book. 0:16:09.390 --> 0:16:12.270 I like Tina Turner, of course. And I do listen 0:16:12.290 --> 0:16:17.140 to Creed. Again, I had that answer prepared because I 0:16:17.180 --> 0:16:19.180 thought we were doing a straight podcast. 0:16:19.460 --> 0:16:20.880 Tell me about your relationship with Creed. 0:16:21.960 --> 0:16:25.180 Okay. Now, Bridget Everett's my buddy. 0:16:25.400 --> 0:16:25.660 Uh-huh. 0:16:26.330 --> 0:16:29.490 And The other day, you know, I was having some emotions. 0:16:29.530 --> 0:16:31.290 It doesn't happen a lot because I just try to 0:16:31.610 --> 0:16:32.130 suffocate them. 0:16:32.150 --> 0:16:33.630 You got to shut it down. 0:16:33.670 --> 0:16:37.690 Comedy, showbiz. Hello. So I was feeling it, and I 0:16:38.070 --> 0:16:41.690 just put on Creed on my Spotify. I know I'm 0:16:41.710 --> 0:16:44.880 not supposed to use Spotify, but I mean, iHeartMedia. They 0:16:44.890 --> 0:16:45.410 have music? 0:16:45.500 --> 0:16:45.980 Apple Music. 0:16:46.320 --> 0:16:49.560 Showbiz. Yeah. You put on your Creed vinyl. 0:16:49.920 --> 0:16:50.700 I put on my Creed. 0:16:50.720 --> 0:16:53.520 Yeah, Creed vinyl. Ethically sourced secondhand. 0:16:53.600 --> 0:16:57.710 To, like, get the vibes out of the emotions. And 0:17:00.570 --> 0:17:03.250 I was in the bathroom, just because I thought you 0:17:03.270 --> 0:17:05.330 were straight, guys. I was in the bathroom taking a dump, 0:17:05.670 --> 0:17:06.209 listening to Creed. 0:17:06.250 --> 0:17:07.469 Hey, we take dumps, too. 0:17:07.710 --> 0:17:08.890 Well, no, you take loads. 0:17:08.910 --> 0:17:13.530 Wow. 0:17:13.670 --> 0:17:17.390 Damn, got my ass. 0:17:17.540 --> 0:17:17.649 No. 0:17:17.690 --> 0:17:20.320 No, thank you. So anyway, I was in the bathroom 0:17:20.340 --> 0:17:24.740 doing stuff, and I had it cranked. And it's like. 0:17:25.369 --> 0:17:31.699 Arms wide open. Yeah, yeah. And Bridget called me and 0:17:31.720 --> 0:17:33.880 I hadn't turned it off. And she was like, what 0:17:34.320 --> 0:17:37.939 the fuck is going on? And I'm like, I'm listening 0:17:38.000 --> 0:17:42.680 to Creed. And she goes, bro, no. And she fucking 0:17:42.700 --> 0:17:43.199 hung up on me. 0:17:43.680 --> 0:17:44.540 Really? Wow. 0:17:44.840 --> 0:17:47.060 She didn't like the straight bro Murray. 0:17:47.260 --> 0:17:48.420 So much for the tolerant left. 0:17:49.970 --> 0:17:51.169 That's why we lost the election, right? 0:17:51.190 --> 0:17:57.899 Yeah. So Creed, do you return too often? 0:17:58.780 --> 0:18:00.980 Only when I'm feeling emotions. 0:18:01.240 --> 0:18:03.500 So like once every six years. Do you like a 0:18:03.500 --> 0:18:06.379 sort of an even more extreme version, like a heavy metal? 0:18:06.420 --> 0:18:08.370 Because I know a lot of people who get their 0:18:08.380 --> 0:18:10.770 emotions out by listening to truly like death metal, like 0:18:10.869 --> 0:18:11.790 screaming music. 0:18:12.150 --> 0:18:14.250 I actually don't like death metal because, you know, it's 0:18:14.270 --> 0:18:18.910 too loud. But Thursday, I'll just keep it open. Thursday, 0:18:19.030 --> 0:18:22.149 I'm going to see Bikini Kill in Williamsburg. 0:18:22.170 --> 0:18:22.950 Okay. 0:18:23.960 --> 0:18:25.980 Every time, and I've been doing this since the 90s, 0:18:26.180 --> 0:18:29.760 when Rebel Girl comes out, that is like, I'm going 0:18:29.780 --> 0:18:31.270 to work out my shit right now. 0:18:31.350 --> 0:18:31.699 Totally. 0:18:31.869 --> 0:18:32.159 And it's like. 0:18:36.550 --> 0:18:41.149 Fuck you, baby. Oh, sorry. I didn't have a stroke. 0:18:41.869 --> 0:18:44.690 You're good. When Creed was sort of in the backlash 0:18:44.750 --> 0:18:47.310 era and people were like, they suck, they suck, they suck. 0:18:47.350 --> 0:18:49.670 Were you like defending them or were you like, they suck? 0:18:51.010 --> 0:18:53.209 Well, Sammy, I know you're a comedian. you know, you're 0:18:53.230 --> 0:18:56.270 on stage. And I used to, when I toured with 0:18:56.310 --> 0:18:58.949 La Tigra, I used to make a couple of Creed jokes. 0:19:00.050 --> 0:19:00.230 Oh. 0:19:00.490 --> 0:19:01.750 During that backlash period. 0:19:01.850 --> 0:19:02.169 Uh-huh. 0:19:02.630 --> 0:19:06.750 And I'll do an impersonation of the audience after I 0:19:07.010 --> 0:19:07.750 made a Creed joke. 0:19:07.930 --> 0:19:08.090 Okay. 0:19:08.109 --> 0:19:08.570 Okay, here it is. 0:19:10.710 --> 0:19:12.169 Wow, they weren't responding. 0:19:12.190 --> 0:19:12.930 They weren't loving it. 0:19:13.530 --> 0:19:16.109 Do you think it's because they loved Creed or just 0:19:16.130 --> 0:19:18.850 because they thought it was like hack to talk about Creed? 0:19:19.810 --> 0:19:22.550 Ooh, interesting. Yeah, it's tough. Well, that crowd, which is 0:19:22.590 --> 0:19:24.540 like very queer, very positive. 0:19:24.560 --> 0:19:26.320 Trust me, I've been to La Tigre concerts. 0:19:26.440 --> 0:19:28.980 You know, it's like the irony, and I'm dressed like, 0:19:29.020 --> 0:19:32.100 you know, this. So the irony of me making fun 0:19:32.140 --> 0:19:34.510 of Creed may have been lost on that crowd. 0:19:35.510 --> 0:19:35.859 I see. 0:19:35.869 --> 0:19:36.790 The sincere crowd. 0:19:37.690 --> 0:19:38.710 Well, you know, you know. 0:19:38.730 --> 0:19:41.850 Yeah, well, you know. We don't have to say it 0:19:41.869 --> 0:19:42.250 out loud. 0:19:42.290 --> 0:19:43.449 Yeah, we don't have to say it out loud, but 0:19:43.470 --> 0:19:43.689 you know. 0:19:46.290 --> 0:19:49.690 I'm confused currently. I think it's interesting that Creed is like, 0:19:49.710 --> 0:19:52.020 I recognize, liked now, like Gen Z is like Creed 0:19:52.060 --> 0:19:55.700 is funny to put on. Because it scares me because 0:19:55.720 --> 0:19:58.629 I'm like, what? You never know what's going to be 0:19:58.710 --> 0:19:59.310 ironically liked. 0:19:59.330 --> 0:20:00.190 Oh, completely. 0:20:00.590 --> 0:20:02.930 Whereas the next generation will just think Creed is good 0:20:02.990 --> 0:20:04.830 because the people older than them just liked it, even 0:20:04.990 --> 0:20:05.670 though it's ironic. 0:20:06.250 --> 0:20:07.050 Which happened with Journey. 0:20:07.070 --> 0:20:08.510 Exactly. Exactly. 0:20:09.030 --> 0:20:10.470 Creed does have a couple of good songs. 0:20:10.830 --> 0:20:12.109 I mean, listen. They've got Photograph. 0:20:12.650 --> 0:20:12.850 No. 0:20:13.270 --> 0:20:14.110 No, that's Def Leppard. 0:20:14.130 --> 0:20:16.450 That's... Look at this photograph! 0:20:16.490 --> 0:20:18.290 No, that's Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow. 0:20:19.450 --> 0:20:19.790 No. 0:20:20.590 --> 0:20:22.689 You're thinking of I'll put your picture away. 0:20:22.760 --> 0:20:23.460 Oh my God, you're right. 0:20:24.180 --> 0:20:25.540 Wow, you really clocked that. 0:20:25.619 --> 0:20:26.460 Everyone's gaslighting me. 0:20:26.560 --> 0:20:28.659 Okay, so Photograph is Creed? 0:20:29.060 --> 0:20:30.820 Photograph is Creed. Arms wide open. 0:20:30.960 --> 0:20:33.600 There's the other one, Higher. Fuck! 0:20:33.780 --> 0:20:37.570 Thank you. Thank you. We were not gaslighting you, bitch! 0:20:38.820 --> 0:20:41.180 What's the difference between Creed and Nickelback? They are so 0:20:41.240 --> 0:20:41.880 identical to me. 0:20:41.980 --> 0:20:44.160 Wait, Nickelback has, what's that? I listened to that too. 0:20:44.240 --> 0:20:45.639 I don't, that's a real. 0:20:45.920 --> 0:20:47.400 They are so identical to me. 0:20:48.320 --> 0:20:49.360 Yeah. It's bros. 0:20:49.440 --> 0:20:49.600 Yeah. 0:20:49.619 --> 0:20:49.840 Long hair. 0:20:50.280 --> 0:20:52.500 Trying to have emotions before they go to rehab. 0:20:53.060 --> 0:20:57.300 That's right. And often, you know, they never make it 0:20:57.320 --> 0:20:59.740 to rehab because they have too many emotions on the page. 0:21:00.000 --> 0:21:00.380 Showbiz. 0:21:01.000 --> 0:21:01.480 Exactly. 0:21:03.260 --> 0:21:04.619 And Creed is the one that's like the guy in 0:21:04.640 --> 0:21:06.570 the mud. The album covers the guy in the mud. 0:21:06.590 --> 0:21:07.270 Or is that Nickelback? 0:21:10.369 --> 0:21:12.450 I think he's like Jesus or something. 0:21:12.470 --> 0:21:13.930 Yeah, there's Christianity there. 0:21:13.970 --> 0:21:17.030 A lot of times the angriest people love Jesus. It's 0:21:17.150 --> 0:21:18.129 weird how that works out. 0:21:19.320 --> 0:21:23.520 No comment. I never met the guy. 0:21:23.980 --> 0:21:25.619 Jesus? Yes. Oh, you would love him. 0:21:25.660 --> 0:21:27.560 He's fab. He's really nice. Seriously. 0:21:27.619 --> 0:21:30.619 And he's a great host. He'll put out a lot 0:21:30.640 --> 0:21:31.340 of hors d'oeuvres. 0:21:32.220 --> 0:21:33.560 He puts out a lot of sides. 0:21:33.740 --> 0:21:34.179 A lot of sides. 0:21:34.320 --> 0:21:35.000 A lot of sides. 0:21:35.040 --> 0:21:35.800 Talk about a side. 0:21:35.820 --> 0:21:36.980 Talk about a side. 0:21:37.000 --> 0:21:38.050 Jesus was definitely a side. 0:21:38.090 --> 0:21:39.169 Jesus was a side down. 0:21:39.690 --> 0:21:40.810 Shall we do our first segment? 0:21:40.950 --> 0:21:41.190 Yes. 0:21:51.720 --> 0:21:53.879 Oh, that wasn't a segment? 0:21:54.260 --> 0:21:57.180 No. Our first segment is called Straight Shooters. 0:21:57.200 --> 0:21:59.580 You're already going to be confused. You're going to hate this. 0:21:59.600 --> 0:22:02.020 I already have to. You're going to hate this. 0:22:02.040 --> 0:22:03.980 Are we doing a game? Yes. Oh, shit. 0:22:04.530 --> 0:22:06.130 In this game, we ask you a series of rapid 0:22:06.150 --> 0:22:09.150 fire questions. It's basically this thing or this other thing, 0:22:09.210 --> 0:22:11.169 and you pick one. And the only rule is you 0:22:11.190 --> 0:22:13.510 can't ask any follow-up questions or we will scream. 0:22:13.530 --> 0:22:14.429 You have to just pick one. 0:22:14.450 --> 0:22:18.330 How am I going to do that? You've seen me already. Okay, 0:22:18.369 --> 0:22:20.629 so you're going to say something. I just pick one. 0:22:20.650 --> 0:22:21.100 Murray Hill. 0:22:21.850 --> 0:22:22.690 I'm already talking too much. 0:22:23.730 --> 0:22:26.590 I love rock and roll or I'm here. Flaws and all. 0:22:28.780 --> 0:22:31.660 I can't do this. Rock and roll. 0:22:31.940 --> 0:22:35.340 Okay. Tuna on Shibata or Hakuna Matata? 0:22:35.920 --> 0:22:37.080 Hakuna Machata. 0:22:37.820 --> 0:22:42.100 Being invited to prom or being indicted for doing something wrong? Indicted. 0:22:42.820 --> 0:22:45.020 Bricking your phone or sniffing pheromones? 0:22:47.940 --> 0:22:50.060 Yeah, that's tough. 0:22:50.080 --> 0:22:50.280 Shit. 0:22:50.480 --> 0:22:56.030 Can we put it? Jeopardy thing, ding, ding, ding. Sniffing pheromones. 0:22:56.670 --> 0:22:59.420 Sunday nights on HBO or picking a fight with a 0:22:59.430 --> 0:23:00.020 guy named Joe? 0:23:00.640 --> 0:23:00.720 Oh. 0:23:01.180 --> 0:23:04.280 Well, since, well, we were canceled on Sunday night. 0:23:04.300 --> 0:23:05.639 But you were on Sunday nights on HBO. 0:23:05.660 --> 0:23:07.520 We were on Sunday nights, so picking a fight. 0:23:09.640 --> 0:23:10.870 Ebony and Ivory? 0:23:11.109 --> 0:23:12.810 Yes, yes. I don't even want to hear the rest 0:23:12.830 --> 0:23:13.730 of it. I love that song. 0:23:14.050 --> 0:23:14.930 Okay. All right. 0:23:15.510 --> 0:23:20.150 Classic. The seven deadly sins or the four fabulous ladies 0:23:20.170 --> 0:23:20.910 of Sex and the City? 0:23:21.570 --> 0:23:21.629 Oh. 0:23:22.350 --> 0:23:23.630 The ladies of Sex and the City. 0:23:23.730 --> 0:23:26.510 I'll say. A public service or a product purchase? 0:23:30.490 --> 0:23:34.320 Did you think I was gay? Public service, fellas. 0:23:34.340 --> 0:23:34.520 Wow. 0:23:34.800 --> 0:23:37.920 That's the La Tigra ethos coming out. Yes, yes, yes. 0:23:38.400 --> 0:23:39.000 Help the world. 0:23:39.240 --> 0:23:39.820 Stunning work. 0:23:40.200 --> 0:23:41.220 Incredible as always. 0:23:41.240 --> 0:23:41.700 So what happens? 0:23:41.760 --> 0:23:42.420 I get a prize? 0:23:42.460 --> 0:23:44.800 Yes. So we rate our guests on a scale of 0:23:44.800 --> 0:23:45.580 0 to 1,000 doves. 0:23:45.820 --> 0:23:47.440 And your score is 900 doves. 0:23:48.119 --> 0:23:49.520 Doves? Doves. 0:23:49.700 --> 0:23:51.080 We will be sending them to your home. 0:23:51.260 --> 0:23:52.179 Like the chocolates? 0:23:52.380 --> 0:23:53.770 No, the live birds. 0:23:55.869 --> 0:23:59.050 Not the, you know, the. Women, body positive creams? 0:23:59.470 --> 0:24:00.130 No, no creams. 0:24:00.150 --> 0:24:01.770 We don't believe in body positivity here. 0:24:02.010 --> 0:24:03.879 We're neutral. We're neutral at best. 0:24:04.180 --> 0:24:06.040 We have to come up with something where- We're skinny, fat, 0:24:06.060 --> 0:24:08.500 and we're sides. Okay, what's a word that you don't 0:24:08.540 --> 0:24:10.139 even acknowledge your body? Let's come up with that. 0:24:10.580 --> 0:24:11.159 Wait, what's the word? 0:24:11.180 --> 0:24:12.960 Body doesn't exist? Yeah, body. 0:24:12.980 --> 0:24:13.360 BNE? 0:24:13.800 --> 0:24:16.220 Body invisibility? 0:24:16.520 --> 0:24:17.740 Body invisibility. 0:24:17.780 --> 0:24:19.720 Body erasure. Body erasure. Body erasure. 0:24:19.740 --> 0:24:20.380 Body erasure. 0:24:20.880 --> 0:24:22.000 I'm committing body erasure. 0:24:22.240 --> 0:24:22.859 Erasure. 0:24:23.240 --> 0:24:24.359 Okay, body erasure. 0:24:24.400 --> 0:24:25.900 Body erasure is a new movement. 0:24:26.160 --> 0:24:27.700 That we started right here on this podcast. 0:24:27.720 --> 0:24:29.980 That we started where you don't even believe you. 0:24:30.160 --> 0:24:30.720 Have a body. 0:24:32.020 --> 0:24:34.220 You know when they say talking heads? That's what we're doing. 0:24:34.240 --> 0:24:35.820 Talking heads. No bodies. 0:24:35.940 --> 0:24:38.480 No bodies. And if someone's like, I'm skinny fat, I'm like, no, 0:24:38.500 --> 0:24:38.920 you're nothing. 0:24:39.119 --> 0:24:39.620 You're nothing. 0:24:39.640 --> 0:24:40.020 You're nothing. 0:24:40.040 --> 0:24:40.580 You're just a head. 0:24:40.760 --> 0:24:42.260 Yeah. 0:24:42.280 --> 0:24:43.240 Talk about true equality. 0:24:44.100 --> 0:24:45.859 Just a head. That could mean something else. 0:24:45.780 --> 0:24:46.180 For you guys. 0:24:46.200 --> 0:24:46.659 That's true. 0:24:46.680 --> 0:24:49.240 It could mean a lot for us. Head. Oh, God. 0:24:49.280 --> 0:24:51.600 Well, head means the same thing for all sexualities. 0:24:51.940 --> 0:24:53.260 It does? Well, sometimes. 0:24:53.300 --> 0:24:53.899 Getting, giving. 0:24:54.380 --> 0:24:57.359 No? Yeah, no, you're right. Depends on which culture you're in, 0:24:57.400 --> 0:24:57.600 I guess. 0:24:57.640 --> 0:25:01.690 We thought load was gay only, and then the wonderful 0:25:01.750 --> 0:25:04.510 straight men who work with us informed us that it is, 0:25:04.570 --> 0:25:07.510 in fact, also used for straights. 0:25:07.590 --> 0:25:08.470 Where do they put the load? 0:25:09.369 --> 0:25:11.070 I think you can picture where they put the load. 0:25:13.200 --> 0:25:16.560 They invented it. They did classic, and then we made 0:25:16.580 --> 0:25:16.820 it alt. 0:25:17.080 --> 0:25:19.639 I wish this was a whiteboard. You could draw it 0:25:19.700 --> 0:25:20.379 out for me, because. 0:25:20.280 --> 0:25:22.160 I'm actually trying to figure out. 0:25:22.200 --> 0:25:25.520 What happened was my uncle, who was straight, said something 0:25:25.540 --> 0:25:27.939 about a load. And I was like, do you remember this? 0:25:27.960 --> 0:25:29.540 This is how we started talking about this, I think. 0:25:29.840 --> 0:25:32.500 Oh, yes. And we were like, I can't believe you 0:25:32.520 --> 0:25:32.980 know that word. 0:25:33.020 --> 0:25:34.699 And I was like, oh, is he gay? I was like, 0:25:34.720 --> 0:25:36.050 is my uncle secretly gay? Yes. 0:25:36.140 --> 0:25:39.290 And then someone who shall not be named who works... 0:25:39.869 --> 0:25:42.770 with us in our Los Angeles... No, no, no. It 0:25:42.790 --> 0:25:47.270 was our Los Angeles team. Of course. He was like, yeah, no. 0:25:47.710 --> 0:25:49.580 We know what loads are. We say loads, too. Yeah, 0:25:49.619 --> 0:25:50.240 people say loads. 0:25:50.280 --> 0:25:51.820 And I was like, I thought it was just gay. 0:25:51.859 --> 0:25:53.960 It's crazy. It's only a load if you're a gay guy. No. 0:25:53.980 --> 0:25:56.359 Okay, this interview is going so off the track, but 0:25:56.740 --> 0:25:57.460 can I ask a question? 0:25:57.940 --> 0:25:58.140 Sure. 0:25:58.200 --> 0:25:59.040 Legitimate, sincere. 0:25:59.080 --> 0:26:00.580 So far, it's going exactly how we planned. 0:26:03.400 --> 0:26:06.929 Okay. I should know this, but... Okay, so. 0:26:08.740 --> 0:26:14.149 If straight guy's doing a load, it's not necessarily the 0:26:14.250 --> 0:26:14.750 back door. 0:26:14.990 --> 0:26:15.850 That's right. It just is a load. 0:26:15.869 --> 0:26:16.750 It could be the front door. 0:26:16.890 --> 0:26:17.110 Yes. 0:26:17.550 --> 0:26:20.800 It can also just be like out there. It doesn't 0:26:20.820 --> 0:26:24.510 have to go into somewhere to be a load. You 0:26:24.530 --> 0:26:25.129 know what I mean? 0:26:25.170 --> 0:26:28.770 Can that be the pull quote? Okay, I need that 0:26:28.810 --> 0:26:33.430 on a t-shirt. That is, it doesn't need to be somewhere. 0:26:33.450 --> 0:26:33.930 That's beautiful. 0:26:33.990 --> 0:26:35.530 It doesn't need to be put somewhere to be a load. 0:26:35.570 --> 0:26:36.310 Okay, that's beautiful. 0:26:36.330 --> 0:26:37.669 It's the journey not the destination. 0:26:37.770 --> 0:26:41.510 Exactly, it's the journey not the destination. 0:26:41.890 --> 0:26:47.129 Sammy, that's funny. Okay, all right, okay, okay. So I 0:26:47.150 --> 0:26:49.990 guess I've had some loads then. Of course. 0:26:52.600 --> 0:26:54.340 You think you got to where you are in showbiz 0:26:54.359 --> 0:26:55.399 without taking any loads? 0:26:55.640 --> 0:26:56.460 Not taking loads. 0:26:57.060 --> 0:26:57.660 Having them. 0:26:57.940 --> 0:26:58.110 No. 0:26:58.810 --> 0:26:59.240 Producing them. 0:26:59.270 --> 0:27:02.669 Putting them somewhere without it and placing results. 0:27:02.710 --> 0:27:03.310 Presenting them. 0:27:03.350 --> 0:27:04.070 Presenting them. 0:27:04.109 --> 0:27:04.909 Presenting loads. 0:27:06.109 --> 0:27:07.650 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Myload. 0:27:07.670 --> 0:27:08.810 That should have been the name of my book. 0:27:08.830 --> 0:27:10.949 Solo show. Solo show. Presenting loads. 0:27:10.970 --> 0:27:11.710 Presenting loads. 0:27:12.890 --> 0:27:14.790 Murray Hill loads, one night only. Murray Hill loads, one 0:27:14.810 --> 0:27:15.389 night only. 0:27:15.410 --> 0:27:16.870 Wow. That's good. 0:27:20.430 --> 0:27:22.139 So yeah, I do a lot of these types of 0:27:22.200 --> 0:27:22.960 things and I've. 0:27:22.880 --> 0:27:25.000 Never- Talked about loads this much? 0:27:25.380 --> 0:27:27.340 Well, that, but I've never learned so much. 0:27:27.560 --> 0:27:28.500 Oh, I'm so glad. Well, guess what? 0:27:28.520 --> 0:27:29.119 We have so much more. 0:27:29.180 --> 0:27:31.220 Is there anything else that you sick people do? 0:27:31.740 --> 0:27:32.290 Let's see. 0:27:32.490 --> 0:27:35.530 You would not believe. I'm trying to think. 0:27:35.850 --> 0:27:36.629 You know what's weird? 0:27:37.210 --> 0:27:41.109 Here's something we do. We pay for tickets to various 0:27:41.190 --> 0:27:44.870 parties And then the day of, we try to sell 0:27:44.880 --> 0:27:45.490 them to our friends. 0:27:45.510 --> 0:27:46.470 What do you mean parties? 0:27:46.670 --> 0:27:48.909 Yeah, just like there's all these parties and they're all called, 0:27:48.970 --> 0:28:01.830 they're all called like, <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL>. 0:28:01.590 --> 0:28:09.359 <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL>. 0:28:09.340 --> 0:28:12.439 <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL>. 0:28:12.400 --> 0:28:14.300 <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL>. 0:28:14.720 --> 0:28:20.619 <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> 0:28:21.640 --> 0:28:23.320 selling five tickets to Wet Hole. 0:28:23.540 --> 0:28:26.160 Well, it's very tops and bottoms. There's some people selling 0:28:26.180 --> 0:28:28.470 the tickets. There's some people in desperate need. They're like, 0:28:28.730 --> 0:28:31.170 who has tickets to Wet Hole? I forgot to get tickets. 0:28:31.470 --> 0:28:34.540 But no, you cannot get these two people together. The 0:28:34.560 --> 0:28:36.300 people selling the tickets and the people buying the tickets 0:28:36.480 --> 0:28:37.619 never seem to interact. 0:28:38.300 --> 0:28:39.260 Isn't that sad? 0:28:39.900 --> 0:28:40.760 So it's like StubHub? 0:28:41.970 --> 0:28:45.330 Exactly, it's StubHub, but artisanal. For wet holes. It's artisanal StubHub. 0:28:45.350 --> 0:28:46.770 Non-corporate StubHub. 0:28:46.790 --> 0:28:47.490 Community-based. 0:28:47.530 --> 0:28:49.590 Community-based StubHub for wet holes. 0:28:49.650 --> 0:28:51.600 Artisanal StubHub. Yes, exactly. 0:28:51.690 --> 0:28:53.280 Shit, so then where do you guys go if you 0:28:53.340 --> 0:28:54.020 don't go to the party? 0:28:54.780 --> 0:28:57.580 So then what happens is- That's a really good question. 0:28:57.660 --> 0:28:59.959 You get a drink, maybe you go to someone's apartment and- 0:29:00.970 --> 0:29:02.450 you know, have a drink with friends. And then of 0:29:02.490 --> 0:29:04.090 course it gets to be 2 a.m. And everyone's like, 0:29:04.130 --> 0:29:06.010 I actually would love to go to Wet Hole, but 0:29:06.030 --> 0:29:08.730 we all sold our tickets. So then you go. 0:29:08.530 --> 0:29:11.350 To Wet Hole anyway. And you see if you can 0:29:11.370 --> 0:29:11.550 get in. 0:29:11.550 --> 0:29:12.550 You see if you can get in. 0:29:12.890 --> 0:29:14.270 And then there's people being like, you need a Wet 0:29:14.310 --> 0:29:15.770 Hole to get in if you don't have a ticket. 0:29:15.790 --> 0:29:16.370 Well, it doesn't hurt. 0:29:16.390 --> 0:29:17.910 There's no one without a Wet Hole. 0:29:17.930 --> 0:29:20.610 Sam, don't set me up with jokes like that. If 0:29:20.670 --> 0:29:23.030 it's wet, it does hurt. No, wait, no, you had 0:29:23.050 --> 0:29:23.270 it right. 0:29:24.640 --> 0:29:25.920 Well, it depends on what you're using. 0:29:26.240 --> 0:29:28.760 Oh, God. Oh, God. 0:29:29.000 --> 0:29:30.290 Should we get into the straight topic? 0:29:30.530 --> 0:29:31.970 I think that would be. 0:29:31.990 --> 0:29:33.430 That's what we've been talking about the whole time. 0:29:33.450 --> 0:29:36.530 Speaking of wet holes, actually, this relates to your straight topic. So, 0:29:36.590 --> 0:29:39.970 Marie Hill, what is your topic that you brought today? 0:29:40.540 --> 0:29:41.820 and what is straight about it? 0:29:45.260 --> 0:29:47.460 Now, I realize this could mean different things for different people. 0:29:47.680 --> 0:29:48.860 No, it's the mind field. 0:29:49.160 --> 0:29:51.660 But the straight thing I wanted to talk about today 0:29:51.680 --> 0:29:53.200 is spitting. 0:29:53.300 --> 0:29:53.560 Yeah. 0:29:53.620 --> 0:29:56.180 Straight guys and spitting on the street. 0:29:56.730 --> 0:29:56.970 Yes. 0:29:56.990 --> 0:29:57.060 Yes. 0:29:58.000 --> 0:30:00.660 I don't understand. It's making me, I'm like getting upset. 0:30:01.700 --> 0:30:02.180 I'm upset. 0:30:02.260 --> 0:30:02.900 I'm like freaking out. 0:30:03.120 --> 0:30:05.680 No, they'll do it in the middle of a nice 0:30:05.920 --> 0:30:09.640 street with designer stores. Have some respect. 0:30:09.700 --> 0:30:10.920 There's a problem on this block. 0:30:11.520 --> 0:30:16.640 In Brooklyn, no disrespect, it's like they wait until someone's 0:30:16.740 --> 0:30:18.070 close to them to do it. 0:30:18.070 --> 0:30:18.570 To show off. 0:30:19.450 --> 0:30:20.310 And it's like, there's a. 0:30:20.290 --> 0:30:21.230 Lot of different kinds. 0:30:21.670 --> 0:30:23.030 It's a sign of aggression. I mean, you know how 0:30:23.290 --> 0:30:26.530 straight men will do like a contest to see who 0:30:26.570 --> 0:30:29.340 can spit farther. Have you ever seen this? 0:30:31.180 --> 0:30:33.790 Is that like- That's a real thing. Given loads, but 0:30:33.810 --> 0:30:34.310 through the mouth? 0:30:34.350 --> 0:30:36.690 No, no, no. Well, I guess in some ways. 0:30:36.750 --> 0:30:37.310 That's interesting. 0:30:37.330 --> 0:30:39.450 Surely there is a way to see it sexually. 0:30:39.470 --> 0:30:47.230 Hey, hey, don't put me in a box. Wait a minute. What? No, 0:30:47.270 --> 0:30:49.670 that's all. 0:30:50.190 --> 0:30:52.650 I remember being like running, I ran cross country in 0:30:52.670 --> 0:30:55.959 high school. And the straight guys would always be spitting 0:30:56.000 --> 0:30:58.000 the whole run. And I was always like, are we 0:30:58.040 --> 0:31:01.650 like biologically built different? Because I have never needed to 0:31:01.710 --> 0:31:03.210 spit ever in my life. 0:31:03.230 --> 0:31:04.410 Really? No. 0:31:05.270 --> 0:31:06.600 But also how loud it is. 0:31:06.610 --> 0:31:07.930 It's loud. 0:31:08.110 --> 0:31:09.820 It's a whole production. 0:31:10.680 --> 0:31:13.420 The spitting that also has the phlegm in it. I 0:31:13.440 --> 0:31:16.420 had several experiences of that on my three block walk 0:31:16.440 --> 0:31:21.180 home yesterday. And it was like, and you're like, and 0:31:21.200 --> 0:31:22.870 then you see it. I'm sorry. You see it on 0:31:22.880 --> 0:31:23.240 the ground. 0:31:23.570 --> 0:31:26.170 You know, what's interesting about spitting is like, okay, I, 0:31:26.490 --> 0:31:29.630 all of us have buildup of saliva. 0:31:29.670 --> 0:31:31.710 I have a nasty theory after you, but. 0:31:31.690 --> 0:31:34.850 It's only, but it's only a straight man who is like, 0:31:35.010 --> 0:31:37.510 I can't be uncomfortable for one single second. So I 0:31:37.550 --> 0:31:39.850 am going to spit this and ruin the vibe for 0:31:40.010 --> 0:31:42.820 everyone on this block. Just because I am, I feel 0:31:42.840 --> 0:31:44.540 like I have slightly more saliva than I would like 0:31:44.560 --> 0:31:44.920 in my mouth. 0:31:46.180 --> 0:31:48.150 I mean, I know we've been a nasty podcast. 0:31:48.490 --> 0:31:48.770 Of course. 0:31:48.830 --> 0:31:49.670 At least today. 0:31:49.710 --> 0:31:51.130 We aren't normally this nasty. 0:31:51.150 --> 0:31:51.970 You are or you're not? 0:31:51.990 --> 0:31:52.350 We're not. 0:31:52.730 --> 0:31:53.690 Don't blame it on me. 0:31:53.730 --> 0:31:55.350 Well, you came in here with all that smut. 0:31:57.350 --> 0:32:00.050 Oh, falching sides. Oh my God, enough. 0:32:00.550 --> 0:32:05.270 But there's something about, of course, the binary, they're spitting 0:32:05.370 --> 0:32:06.310 and then they're swallowing. 0:32:06.750 --> 0:32:09.090 That's true. So you think swallowing is gay and spitting 0:32:09.110 --> 0:32:09.470 is straight? 0:32:09.550 --> 0:32:12.250 Yes, I think we also have the phlegm, but we swallow. 0:32:14.470 --> 0:32:15.260 Your comment? 0:32:19.400 --> 0:32:22.080 You asked me for a comment when I was actually 0:32:22.360 --> 0:32:25.580 disassociating and trying to picture what he was just saying. 0:32:26.040 --> 0:32:29.540 Because they're spitting the opposite of that swallow. 0:32:29.580 --> 0:32:32.550 You're completely correct. And I actually think that relates also 0:32:32.610 --> 0:32:38.030 to how gay people and straight people deal with their trauma, 0:32:38.070 --> 0:32:39.130 their life experiences. 0:32:39.150 --> 0:32:39.790 Taking it in. 0:32:39.830 --> 0:32:42.150 Exactly, exactly. So a gay person is like, oh no, 0:32:42.170 --> 0:32:45.210 I feel something awful. Let me just put it back in. 0:32:45.210 --> 0:32:45.850 Let me get it in there. 0:32:45.910 --> 0:32:46.860 Whereas a straight person is like, ew. 0:32:46.860 --> 0:32:46.930 Ew. 0:32:48.030 --> 0:32:50.730 Spitting out. What do you think of that theory? 0:32:50.880 --> 0:32:52.980 I mean, what's the name of this theory? We got 0:32:53.000 --> 0:32:54.540 to write this down so your next guest, you can 0:32:54.580 --> 0:32:56.040 tell them what this is. 0:32:56.080 --> 0:32:57.720 This is spitting theory. 0:32:58.080 --> 0:33:00.700 It's spitting theory? Yeah. Well, spitting versus swallowing theory. 0:33:00.720 --> 0:33:03.230 Doesn't have as much of a ring to it. 0:33:03.230 --> 0:33:03.610 Now, Sammy. 0:33:04.510 --> 0:33:06.910 Sammy, I'm- It's all about branding. Yes. No, you're right. 0:33:06.930 --> 0:33:07.209 You're right. 0:33:07.250 --> 0:33:12.220 But isn't that also- Isn't spitting- Like, don't- Gay guys 0:33:12.280 --> 0:33:14.740 spit on you, or straight people spit on backs. 0:33:14.500 --> 0:33:17.180 And swallow and do all- See, you're going back to sex. 0:33:17.640 --> 0:33:21.270 And I appreciate that you think the way to relate 0:33:21.290 --> 0:33:24.110 to two gay men is to make everything sexual. 0:33:24.130 --> 0:33:27.230 I don't know why I would think that. You know 0:33:27.250 --> 0:33:29.500 what I say in my act, fellas? Stereotypes are based 0:33:29.560 --> 0:33:30.020 on facts. 0:33:30.200 --> 0:33:30.840 Oh, it's true. 0:33:30.860 --> 0:33:36.180 It's very true. Thank you for speaking out. Finally someone 0:33:36.200 --> 0:33:36.480 said it. 0:33:36.500 --> 0:33:38.950 Spitting on the street is disgusting. 0:33:38.970 --> 0:33:40.510 Yes, it's disgusting. Spitting on the street is, you know 0:33:40.530 --> 0:33:42.030 what else is disgusting? And I can't believe I'm even 0:33:42.050 --> 0:33:44.910 mentioning this. Straight guys will be peeing in the urinal 0:33:45.050 --> 0:33:46.790 and then spit in the urinal while they're peeing. 0:33:46.810 --> 0:33:49.380 Oh my God, they do do that. Yes. No, it's 0:33:49.390 --> 0:33:50.940 like extremely common. 0:33:51.040 --> 0:33:51.840 It's very common. 0:33:51.860 --> 0:33:54.240 And I've never related. I've always been like, so we're 0:33:54.300 --> 0:33:55.040 different people. 0:33:55.620 --> 0:33:57.860 The other thing they do, so they spit in the 0:33:57.940 --> 0:34:00.550 urinal and then they also will just go like, okay. 0:34:02.020 --> 0:34:02.620 I do do that. 0:34:02.670 --> 0:34:04.980 Okay, can I ask you some bathroom questions? 0:34:05.020 --> 0:34:08.680 Please. And I'm glad we're having this conversation. 0:34:08.719 --> 0:34:09.640 I'm glad we're. 0:34:09.500 --> 0:34:11.660 Having this conversation. It is time we had it. This 0:34:11.680 --> 0:34:12.440 is going to be groundbreaking. 0:34:12.500 --> 0:34:15.440 Okay, yeah. Now, bathrooms, you know, they're very controversial about 0:34:15.460 --> 0:34:16.759 who goes to what bathroom. Yeah, of course. 0:34:16.820 --> 0:34:17.779 It's one of the biggest issues. 0:34:17.800 --> 0:34:20.460 I have a hack, and I'm wearing Depends right now, 0:34:20.500 --> 0:34:22.319 so I don't have to choose. So I'm actually going 0:34:22.340 --> 0:34:22.860 to the bathroom right now. 0:34:23.040 --> 0:34:23.319 Oh, great. 0:34:23.340 --> 0:34:25.700 Oh, amazing. But when I do go to the men's room, 0:34:25.840 --> 0:34:27.839 which I was at the Barclays Center last night for 0:34:27.860 --> 0:34:30.640 a WNBA game, so... Men's bathroom was free. 0:34:30.660 --> 0:34:33.029 Men's bathroom was one of the most inclusive bathrooms you 0:34:33.050 --> 0:34:35.430 could possibly go to, is the men's bathroom during a 0:34:35.450 --> 0:34:36.350 WNBA game. 0:34:36.489 --> 0:34:40.790 Yes, in Brooklyn. Yes. Okay, now, in the stall, not 0:34:40.830 --> 0:34:45.030 the urinal, but the stall, why is it that guys 0:34:45.670 --> 0:34:52.230 go in there and pee with the door open, seat down, 0:34:53.770 --> 0:34:55.280 and don't get it into the hole? 0:34:56.090 --> 0:34:57.300 Well, the hole is just so small. 0:34:57.340 --> 0:35:01.239 It's all over the fucking, no, the toilet bowl. Like, 0:35:01.280 --> 0:35:02.660 why is it this? 0:35:03.060 --> 0:35:03.500 Yeah. 0:35:03.780 --> 0:35:05.839 You know, it's harder to control than you think. 0:35:05.880 --> 0:35:07.240 It's disgusting. It's so difficult. 0:35:07.260 --> 0:35:09.460 Why is it hard to control? Mine is like, you know, 0:35:09.600 --> 0:35:11.879 under my, you know, shelf at home. 0:35:12.820 --> 0:35:13.220 Totally. 0:35:13.980 --> 0:35:14.240 Right. 0:35:14.940 --> 0:35:16.520 On the drying rack. 0:35:18.280 --> 0:35:19.589 I think that. 0:35:21.040 --> 0:35:23.299 Well, the door open. I can respond to the door open, 0:35:23.360 --> 0:35:23.680 at least. 0:35:23.860 --> 0:35:24.980 The door open thing. 0:35:25.100 --> 0:35:26.480 Because you can't be accused of pooping. 0:35:26.960 --> 0:35:27.480 Yes, exactly. 0:35:27.520 --> 0:35:28.479 Oh, is that what it is? 0:35:28.520 --> 0:35:29.799 You don't want anyone to think you're pooping. 0:35:29.820 --> 0:35:30.500 You guys are deep. 0:35:30.840 --> 0:35:31.200 Yeah. 0:35:31.460 --> 0:35:32.040 Well, of course. 0:35:32.060 --> 0:35:33.940 Is that really a thing? So there's shame about it. 0:35:34.020 --> 0:35:35.140 Pooping is feminine. 0:35:35.969 --> 0:35:37.870 Is it really? Oh, my God. 0:35:38.170 --> 0:35:38.569 Oh, my God. 0:35:39.070 --> 0:35:39.630 I feel. 0:35:39.810 --> 0:35:40.790 I'm going to go to college right now. 0:35:40.810 --> 0:35:42.700 You're saying I have to sit down? What am I? 0:35:42.770 --> 0:35:43.710 Some sort of faggot? 0:35:44.010 --> 0:35:44.290 Yeah. 0:35:44.330 --> 0:35:45.950 That's how guys think. That's how guys think. 0:35:46.210 --> 0:35:46.790 Are you for real? 0:35:47.530 --> 0:35:48.150 I kind of think so. 0:35:48.210 --> 0:35:52.299 Kind of. Can we get. Reaction shot. 0:35:53.040 --> 0:35:54.279 Big, big reaction shot. 0:35:54.360 --> 0:35:57.200 Wait, so for real? The door is open because you don't, 0:35:57.320 --> 0:36:00.360 there's shame about pooping? Because you know when people are pooping. 0:36:00.840 --> 0:36:03.800 Oh, trust me, especially in a men's bathroom. It's not 0:36:03.910 --> 0:36:06.270 only shame, it's also like a show of. 0:36:07.630 --> 0:36:08.370 Show of pride. 0:36:08.410 --> 0:36:08.770 Pride. 0:36:08.810 --> 0:36:10.730 Because you're like, if you are closing the door to 0:36:10.810 --> 0:36:14.790 pee in the toilet, you're sort of like, you're ashamed. 0:36:15.250 --> 0:36:19.259 Exactly. You're leaving, you're out in the open. You're saying like, 0:36:19.420 --> 0:36:20.620 it's no big deal, I'm just peeing. 0:36:20.760 --> 0:36:20.920 Yeah. 0:36:22.440 --> 0:36:23.759 Okay, now why is it hard to get it in? 0:36:23.760 --> 0:36:24.980 Okay, so that's the second part of your question. 0:36:25.000 --> 0:36:25.520 That's the bigger issue. 0:36:25.540 --> 0:36:27.980 You're saying it's harder to get it in with the 0:36:29.860 --> 0:36:33.200 thing down, seat down, or without the seat down? 0:36:33.420 --> 0:36:35.440 No, it's all over the floor. I don't understand. 0:36:35.640 --> 0:36:37.040 Well, that's because they're looking at their phone. 0:36:37.440 --> 0:36:39.920 That is true. And also, guess why else? A lot 0:36:39.940 --> 0:36:42.360 of times they're drunk. I mean, you're talking about a 0:36:42.410 --> 0:36:44.689 public bathroom at Barclays and like a big venue. 0:36:44.710 --> 0:36:46.469 Well, and also there's probably something primal about trying to 0:36:46.530 --> 0:36:47.230 mark the space. 0:36:47.489 --> 0:36:48.590 Yeah, they're marking the space. 0:36:48.630 --> 0:36:51.270 Sam, what did you study in college? Women's studies? Yeah. 0:36:52.280 --> 0:36:52.960 Wow, drag him. 0:36:53.340 --> 0:36:54.629 English literature. 0:36:54.650 --> 0:36:59.930 Sir Women's Studies. Wait. Why are you, as a man, reading? 0:37:00.340 --> 0:37:03.520 Homo. Yeah, exactly. 0:37:04.820 --> 0:37:06.819 But can you just put it, aim it? 0:37:07.500 --> 0:37:10.799 Well, you know, this move you're doing, you know, is 0:37:10.860 --> 0:37:15.020 implying that this is some sort of like elongatable. 0:37:17.080 --> 0:37:18.300 I'm like really outing myself. 0:37:18.320 --> 0:37:20.379 That's like asking, like, you know, can't we just not 0:37:20.420 --> 0:37:22.620 have war? You know, it's like, of course it would 0:37:22.640 --> 0:37:23.719 be amazing if we could just. 0:37:23.739 --> 0:37:24.660 Yeah, it would be amazing if we could. 0:37:24.739 --> 0:37:27.239 Can't we just love our neighbor? Like, there's so many 0:37:27.280 --> 0:37:27.990 things that we. 0:37:28.000 --> 0:37:30.359 And those two are basically related. You know, it's like 0:37:30.480 --> 0:37:33.890 if men. could pee inside of the toilet sink, then 0:37:33.910 --> 0:37:35.110 there probably wouldn't be war. 0:37:35.150 --> 0:37:36.690 I love toilet sink. That actually works for me. 0:37:36.690 --> 0:37:37.230 Toilet bowl. 0:37:37.489 --> 0:37:38.509 Is toilet sink a thing? 0:37:38.710 --> 0:37:39.330 No, but I like it. 0:37:39.370 --> 0:37:40.109 We can make it a thing. 0:37:40.350 --> 0:37:40.890 Jesus. 0:37:42.500 --> 0:37:43.220 Back to Jesus. 0:37:43.460 --> 0:37:51.430 Now, do gay guys... Yeah. mark the ground also, or 0:37:51.450 --> 0:37:52.489 is it just a straight guy thing? 0:37:52.510 --> 0:37:54.830 You know, gay guys are marking things you can't even 0:37:54.890 --> 0:37:56.990 imagine in ways that you can't even imagine. 0:37:57.200 --> 0:37:59.239 You know, I think I can speak from some personal 0:37:59.260 --> 0:38:02.219 experience recently. I have been peeing on the floor a lot. What? 0:38:03.000 --> 0:38:06.520 No, Sam, have you? Wait, have you? I legitimately- You 0:38:06.540 --> 0:38:07.380 get a little red. 0:38:07.880 --> 0:38:09.480 I have been missing in a big way. 0:38:10.610 --> 0:38:11.660 In a toilet or the urinal? 0:38:11.680 --> 0:38:14.550 To learn this about my close friend and co-host on air. 0:38:14.560 --> 0:38:15.600 We're kind of freaked out. 0:38:15.700 --> 0:38:16.170 How is it? 0:38:16.219 --> 0:38:17.120 Why is this happening? 0:38:17.580 --> 0:38:20.100 I don't know, but it's like I will be like, whoa, 0:38:20.180 --> 0:38:21.560 I missed. Like, I think I. 0:38:21.540 --> 0:38:22.980 Literally am like... Sam, are you on your. 0:38:23.000 --> 0:38:24.040 Is it because you did the special? 0:38:26.380 --> 0:38:28.380 Ever since I did the special, I keep missing. I 0:38:28.400 --> 0:38:30.380 don't know. I'm looking at my phone. I'm not paying attention. 0:38:30.640 --> 0:38:32.050 My head's not in the game in the same way. 0:38:32.120 --> 0:38:35.310 Wait, you're on your phone at the urinal or the toilet? 0:38:35.410 --> 0:38:35.870 Either one. 0:38:36.250 --> 0:38:37.170 And you can't get it in there? 0:38:37.290 --> 0:38:37.750 I'm missing. 0:38:38.110 --> 0:38:38.720 You know, I'm going to be. 0:38:41.969 --> 0:38:42.450 I'm scared. 0:38:45.270 --> 0:38:46.069 I don't even know what to say. 0:38:46.330 --> 0:38:46.590 Yeah. 0:38:46.630 --> 0:38:48.810 I don't even know what to say. I don't even 0:38:48.830 --> 0:38:49.390 know what to say. 0:38:49.410 --> 0:38:52.180 You finally rendered Murray Hill speechless. Are you proud of yourself? 0:38:52.550 --> 0:38:54.100 Yeah. It never happened before. 0:38:55.020 --> 0:38:55.860 Do you know about pups? 0:38:57.780 --> 0:38:58.839 Trick question? No. 0:38:59.480 --> 0:39:01.040 I want to teach you about more gay guy stuff. 0:39:01.760 --> 0:39:02.740 Is it like puppies? 0:39:03.239 --> 0:39:05.140 So that's what it's based on. Pup play. 0:39:05.340 --> 0:39:05.819 Wait, what? 0:39:05.960 --> 0:39:09.520 Yeah. So pup play is where gay guys will... It's 0:39:09.600 --> 0:39:13.740 a sort of... Yes. Where you act like a dog. 0:39:14.660 --> 0:39:15.530 And you have a dog mask. 0:39:15.590 --> 0:39:18.489 And you have a dog mask. We're not messing with you. 0:39:20.390 --> 0:39:20.970 It's valid. 0:39:23.330 --> 0:39:24.450 I'm just surprised you haven't heard of it. 0:39:24.450 --> 0:39:26.290 So take that back to your community and then teach them. 0:39:26.830 --> 0:39:27.150 Pups? 0:39:27.590 --> 0:39:28.110 Yes, pups. 0:39:29.670 --> 0:39:29.850 So. 0:39:30.670 --> 0:39:32.090 So somebody acts like a dog. 0:39:32.150 --> 0:39:32.670 Correct. 0:39:33.010 --> 0:39:34.549 And someone acts like a dog owner. Yes. 0:39:35.290 --> 0:39:36.850 And wears a muzzle? 0:39:37.010 --> 0:39:40.520 Yes. It's not a muzzle. It's like a leather mask. 0:39:40.700 --> 0:39:43.399 Sometimes they don't wear masks, so I don't want to be. 0:39:43.480 --> 0:39:46.580 No, nobody wants to get COVID. Worst joke ever, but 0:39:46.600 --> 0:39:46.960 I said it. 0:39:49.469 --> 0:39:51.930 That's your next special. Worst joke ever, but I said it. 0:39:52.830 --> 0:39:53.970 Write it down. Write it down. 0:39:54.570 --> 0:39:57.720 Yeah, so they wear these leather masks that are not 0:39:57.760 --> 0:40:03.180 COVID safe, I don't believe. And they have their, do 0:40:03.219 --> 0:40:05.060 they call them owners or masters? 0:40:05.160 --> 0:40:05.899 Both. Okay. 0:40:07.200 --> 0:40:07.680 And then what? 0:40:08.140 --> 0:40:08.940 And then they sort of. 0:40:09.180 --> 0:40:10.479 You know what? Anything goes. 0:40:10.719 --> 0:40:11.040 Yeah. 0:40:11.300 --> 0:40:13.580 As soon as the ground rules are set, you can 0:40:13.620 --> 0:40:17.040 do whatever you want. We were once, or Sam was 0:40:17.100 --> 0:40:17.460 once at a party. 0:40:17.480 --> 0:40:17.939 Speechless again. 0:40:18.520 --> 0:40:21.880 Yeah, one time I went to a pup night in D.C. 0:40:21.900 --> 0:40:23.500 Oh, you guys have all the fun. 0:40:23.560 --> 0:40:24.819 Oh, I didn't know you went to a pup night. 0:40:24.860 --> 0:40:26.859 I thought, I was talking about the party you were 0:40:26.900 --> 0:40:28.989 at where someone walked in with his pups and then 0:40:29.010 --> 0:40:31.109 the pups stayed in the corner waiting to be told 0:40:31.150 --> 0:40:31.730 that they could go home. 0:40:32.150 --> 0:40:34.270 Oh, sure, sure, sure. Yeah, New Year's, right? 0:40:34.290 --> 0:40:34.890 Yeah, yeah. 0:40:37.650 --> 0:40:39.660 So is there ever a mashup of like pups and 0:40:39.700 --> 0:40:40.070 wet holes? 0:40:41.500 --> 0:40:42.020 Oh, wow. 0:40:42.260 --> 0:40:46.360 A pup wet hole collab. Wet hole is actually. 0:40:46.570 --> 0:40:47.650 Oh, you mean wet hole the party? 0:40:47.670 --> 0:40:48.350 The party. Yes. 0:40:48.570 --> 0:40:50.109 I think pups. I think pups. 0:40:50.150 --> 0:40:51.569 No, I meant the actual wet hole. 0:40:51.610 --> 0:40:53.390 Yeah. I was about to say, yeah, no, wet holes 0:40:53.450 --> 0:40:56.890 are sort of identity neutral. You know, they can they 0:40:56.910 --> 0:40:59.590 can be anywhere. I do think pups could attend Whithole 0:40:59.630 --> 0:41:00.669 if they wanted, if they had a ticket. 0:41:00.830 --> 0:41:01.470 If they had a ticket. 0:41:01.830 --> 0:41:03.200 And so are the pups naked? 0:41:03.500 --> 0:41:03.640 No. 0:41:03.960 --> 0:41:06.540 Well, they can be, but often when they're out, they're 0:41:06.580 --> 0:41:10.120 just like, maybe just like a leathery- A jockstrap. A jockstrap, 0:41:10.180 --> 0:41:12.509 leather harness, and pup mask. 0:41:13.469 --> 0:41:15.270 Maybe a tail butt plug type of thing. 0:41:15.290 --> 0:41:15.790 That's right. 0:41:16.340 --> 0:41:18.720 Okay, so I'm the one that's making this all about sex? 0:41:18.900 --> 0:41:22.540 A tail butt plug? What the fuck is that? 0:41:22.580 --> 0:41:23.440 We're trying to teach you. 0:41:23.480 --> 0:41:25.400 Is there a tail on a butt plug? 0:41:25.500 --> 0:41:26.400 Yes. No. 0:41:26.840 --> 0:41:28.779 I need to see a fucking picture right now. 0:41:28.800 --> 0:41:30.080 I'm not going to show you the butt plug picture 0:41:30.100 --> 0:41:32.000 because that would be sexual harassment since we're in a 0:41:32.020 --> 0:41:34.400 professional environment. But I do want to show you what 0:41:34.660 --> 0:41:36.760 a pup mask looks like. Oh, shit. 0:41:37.840 --> 0:41:39.460 Wait, are you for real? There's a butt plug that's 0:41:39.500 --> 0:41:40.040 like a tail? 0:41:40.120 --> 0:41:40.279 Yeah. 0:41:40.380 --> 0:41:41.270 Like it has a tail on it? 0:41:41.460 --> 0:41:42.989 Yeah, it's like a big rubber tail. 0:41:43.860 --> 0:41:46.359 Did you know about this? I mean, yes and. 0:41:48.200 --> 0:41:49.660 No. These are like examples. Oh, my God. 0:41:49.900 --> 0:41:51.219 I'm surprised you didn't know about this. 0:41:52.200 --> 0:41:53.260 Okay, that does look like a dog. 0:41:53.430 --> 0:41:53.950 Yeah. 0:41:54.190 --> 0:41:56.950 It's kind of cute. This is my baby dog. You 0:41:56.969 --> 0:41:57.370 want a treat? 0:41:57.810 --> 0:41:58.950 This is someone wearing one. 0:41:59.170 --> 0:41:59.770 That's horrifying. 0:41:59.969 --> 0:42:00.129 Wow. 0:42:00.150 --> 0:42:04.149 How do they get a treat if their mouth is closed? 0:42:04.170 --> 0:42:04.910 No, there's a little hole. 0:42:04.930 --> 0:42:05.529 There's a little hole. 0:42:05.570 --> 0:42:06.130 Come on. 0:42:06.150 --> 0:42:06.549 Come on. 0:42:06.570 --> 0:42:08.100 You got to be able to access the mouth. 0:42:09.160 --> 0:42:10.340 That's your special thing. 0:42:10.400 --> 0:42:11.860 You got to access the mouth. 0:42:12.100 --> 0:42:15.899 One night only, Sammy. Wow, is there anything else? I mean, 0:42:15.980 --> 0:42:17.860 I know you probably had some prepared items. 0:42:17.880 --> 0:42:19.299 Well, that's pretty much all we want. 0:42:19.340 --> 0:42:21.180 You told us you were curious to learn about gay guys. 0:42:21.200 --> 0:42:23.080 We'll see if anything else comes up naturally. 0:42:23.100 --> 0:42:24.980 Okay, pups, felching. 0:42:25.160 --> 0:42:30.080 Sides. Body neutrality and body erasure, which we made up. 0:42:30.340 --> 0:42:32.560 Yes. So spitting. 0:42:32.600 --> 0:42:33.860 And I know guys like going in the woods. 0:42:34.380 --> 0:42:35.020 Well, yeah. 0:42:35.100 --> 0:42:36.500 That's also spitting, right? 0:42:37.500 --> 0:42:38.100 In what sense? 0:42:38.120 --> 0:42:39.860 I don't know, I was just trying to tie it together. 0:42:39.900 --> 0:42:41.779 You're pointing to a truth. You're pointing to a truth, 0:42:41.820 --> 0:42:45.470 which is that for gay people, spitting is bad. primarily sexual, 0:42:45.510 --> 0:42:47.380 whereas for straight people, it's just something you do on 0:42:47.420 --> 0:42:47.779 the street. 0:42:47.840 --> 0:42:48.920 It's offensive. Yes, yeah, yeah. 0:42:48.940 --> 0:42:51.340 Yeah, I hate to be judgmental like that, but for 0:42:51.360 --> 0:42:52.120 you guys, it's okay. 0:42:52.340 --> 0:42:55.120 With spitting, it's like, you know how the most dramatic 0:42:55.160 --> 0:42:57.780 thing that can happen in a movie is someone spitting 0:42:57.840 --> 0:42:59.020 on someone's face, like as a. 0:42:59.020 --> 0:43:01.009 Sign of disrespect? Oh, totally. 0:43:01.030 --> 0:43:02.509 That's such a, it's like the scene in a movie 0:43:02.550 --> 0:43:05.750 where someone slaps someone, you know, it's so, or it's 0:43:05.770 --> 0:43:08.210 like someone's being like handcuffed, and so the one thing 0:43:08.250 --> 0:43:09.930 they still have is their spit. 0:43:09.950 --> 0:43:12.670 Well, you know about, well, maybe you don't, but sports. 0:43:12.910 --> 0:43:13.200 Yes, yes. 0:43:13.719 --> 0:43:18.120 Especially baseball, if there's like a huge confrontation and the 0:43:18.160 --> 0:43:20.450 coach comes out and is like screaming at the ref, 0:43:20.989 --> 0:43:24.609 the worst disrespectful thing that will get the coach kicked 0:43:24.670 --> 0:43:27.250 out of the game, takes off his hat and goes, 0:43:28.150 --> 0:43:31.029 just spits on the floor and he gets ejected immediately. Yeah, 0:43:31.130 --> 0:43:32.810 that's like a real thing, guys. That's what I can 0:43:32.850 --> 0:43:33.150 teach you. 0:43:33.390 --> 0:43:36.130 That doesn't even seem that offensive. Sometimes I. 0:43:38.219 --> 0:43:39.299 Sorry, he's not doing pub play. 0:43:39.400 --> 0:43:41.319 Yeah, maybe if the coach did pub play, I could 0:43:41.340 --> 0:43:43.339 see him being removed from the game. That's inappropriate. 0:43:44.020 --> 0:43:48.660 But to his point, it's very disrespectful to spit. Just 0:43:48.700 --> 0:43:49.460 the act of spitting. 0:43:49.480 --> 0:43:49.919 Yes, no, correct. 0:43:49.960 --> 0:43:51.680 You're not, like, he doesn't have phlegm. He's just like. 0:43:52.980 --> 0:43:54.340 Does stuff come out or is it fake? 0:43:55.660 --> 0:43:56.259 I think it's real. 0:43:56.620 --> 0:43:56.880 Wow. 0:43:57.000 --> 0:43:58.219 It's not like phlegm. 0:43:58.280 --> 0:44:00.020 You're right that it's the ultimate sign of disrespect. 0:44:00.040 --> 0:44:02.200 And that's why the refs always go. 0:44:02.219 --> 0:44:03.879 Get out of here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0:44:04.360 --> 0:44:05.799 Sometimes I like to mime. I like to do this 0:44:05.820 --> 0:44:06.069 a lot. 0:44:08.260 --> 0:44:08.719 What's this? 0:44:08.739 --> 0:44:10.000 Like a slap? 0:44:10.040 --> 0:44:11.960 That's when I'm going to hit someone. Oh. I think 0:44:11.980 --> 0:44:14.500 it's a fun... I don't know why the spit first, 0:44:14.520 --> 0:44:15.700 but I like the motion. 0:44:15.719 --> 0:44:21.040 Do you have insurance? 0:44:22.600 --> 0:44:24.239 All right. None of us have insurance. 0:44:24.300 --> 0:44:30.339 Same. But thanks, iHeart. Well, maybe we could help you 0:44:30.360 --> 0:44:31.160 pay for some therapy. 0:44:32.100 --> 0:44:34.140 It's just a funny... No one's laughing. 0:44:35.390 --> 0:44:37.549 That's okay. You got your special coming out. 0:44:38.600 --> 0:44:39.620 It's canceled, it's canceled. 0:44:39.640 --> 0:44:39.960 Showbiz. 0:44:40.239 --> 0:44:40.819 Showbiz. 0:44:40.860 --> 0:44:41.319 After this episode. 0:44:41.340 --> 0:44:42.799 You're going to put it on Trump TV. He's got 0:44:42.820 --> 0:44:43.540 his own network now. 0:44:43.880 --> 0:44:44.719 Yeah, he pays really well. 0:44:44.739 --> 0:44:46.339 Wait, so you spit on it and you just don't 0:44:46.360 --> 0:44:46.860 hit anybody? 0:44:47.219 --> 0:44:47.620 Yeah. 0:44:48.500 --> 0:44:51.000 It's like how people will go like... Yeah. 0:44:51.380 --> 0:44:52.600 Oh, like Italian mothers. 0:44:53.160 --> 0:44:53.600 Correct. 0:44:54.500 --> 0:44:55.719 Yeah, like that. 0:44:55.739 --> 0:44:59.339 Okay. You had that reference locked and loaded. I don't know. 0:44:59.520 --> 0:45:01.960 For some reason, I just think it's... The spitting on 0:45:01.980 --> 0:45:04.920 the hand is always a funny little gesture to me. 0:45:05.020 --> 0:45:05.320 Yeah. 0:45:06.760 --> 0:45:07.120 I also. 0:45:07.219 --> 0:45:09.520 I thought you were going to go like, Like let's 0:45:09.540 --> 0:45:10.100 shake on it with spit. 0:45:10.140 --> 0:45:11.420 Oh, I never understood what that meant. 0:45:11.580 --> 0:45:14.700 Oh, that's like- That's gross. Totally. But I think what 0:45:14.739 --> 0:45:17.310 it means is like, we're like, it's like blood packed. 0:45:17.330 --> 0:45:17.890 We're brothers. 0:45:17.910 --> 0:45:19.210 We're brothers, bodily fluids. 0:45:19.390 --> 0:45:20.729 We kissed via hand. 0:45:20.750 --> 0:45:24.149 We kissed. You ever seal a business deal with just 0:45:24.210 --> 0:45:25.190 a nice make-out session? 0:45:26.110 --> 0:45:26.890 They should do that. 0:45:26.910 --> 0:45:29.570 They should. So Murray Hill. 0:45:30.910 --> 0:45:33.149 I've never been speechless this much in my entire life. 0:45:43.910 --> 0:45:48.250 I want to talk to you about hosting because it's 0:45:48.270 --> 0:45:51.109 something you're incredibly good at. And it's something I'm actually 0:45:51.260 --> 0:45:55.759 incredibly bad at. I recently... As we're hosting a podcast. Well, no, 0:45:55.820 --> 0:45:57.040 I'm amazing at hosting a podcast. 0:45:57.300 --> 0:45:57.940 Needless to say. 0:45:58.100 --> 0:46:00.759 But, you know, it's a different skill than going out 0:46:00.780 --> 0:46:03.600 and doing a set. And I recently hosted this show 0:46:03.640 --> 0:46:07.400 in East Hampton. And as you can imagine, you know... Where? Guildhall. 0:46:08.440 --> 0:46:10.440 I'm sure you have. uh, perform there. 0:46:10.760 --> 0:46:10.920 Right. 0:46:11.660 --> 0:46:13.819 Cause I, there's a, there's a giant, um, you know, 0:46:14.400 --> 0:46:17.930 wall with all the framed, uh, headshots of everyone. I'm 0:46:17.950 --> 0:46:21.890 pretty sure I saw yours. Oh, showbiz. Um, and I 0:46:21.930 --> 0:46:24.090 want to know like, what's your, you go out there 0:46:24.510 --> 0:46:26.609 cause I went out, you know, this crowd is like 0:46:26.700 --> 0:46:31.169 median age of 78. Um, they have no idea who 0:46:31.190 --> 0:46:33.049 I am. They just got an email that said, you know, 0:46:33.110 --> 0:46:37.920 comedy night, Brooklyn comedy night, gay guy comedy night, come on. 0:46:38.120 --> 0:46:41.160 So be just like your grandson. How do you relate 0:46:41.180 --> 0:46:43.900 to that? You go out there, you are who you are. 0:46:44.000 --> 0:46:45.839 How do you get that crowd on your side? 0:46:46.500 --> 0:46:49.160 Well, I call that, I call that, I'm stupid. 0:46:52.330 --> 0:46:53.109 So far, so good. 0:46:53.150 --> 0:46:53.870 Really good. 0:46:55.950 --> 0:46:57.010 I call that going out cold. 0:46:57.030 --> 0:46:59.430 Yes, yes. Oh, could not have been colder. 0:46:59.590 --> 0:47:04.570 Yeah. It's probably related to some masochism as being a comedian, 0:47:04.830 --> 0:47:05.969 but I love going out cold. 0:47:06.090 --> 0:47:07.629 Really? Tell me more. 0:47:07.670 --> 0:47:11.310 Because it's just brutal, but it is a challenge. Yeah. 0:47:11.550 --> 0:47:12.610 It's like exposure therapy. 0:47:12.800 --> 0:47:18.700 Yeah. And I did a birthday party the other night, showbiz, 0:47:19.160 --> 0:47:22.180 in a basement. It was decorated like a wine cellar, 0:47:22.900 --> 0:47:27.560 private party kind of thing. And families, you know. Up 0:47:27.600 --> 0:47:29.840 to 85 children. 0:47:29.860 --> 0:47:31.040 Yeah. 0:47:31.140 --> 0:47:34.420 There's no act for me in a car there. So, 0:47:34.780 --> 0:47:40.350 you know, that was going out full blown cold. Now, kids, 0:47:42.670 --> 0:47:45.910 I got a lot of experience going out cold. Like 0:47:45.910 --> 0:47:46.430 30 years. 0:47:46.450 --> 0:47:47.109 Uh-huh. 0:47:48.350 --> 0:47:52.209 And the thing you got to do is read the room. 0:47:53.070 --> 0:47:57.359 And that doesn't sound too deep. But you probably both 0:47:57.400 --> 0:48:01.740 have seen comedians host shows that all they care about 0:48:02.239 --> 0:48:02.919 is telling a joke. 0:48:03.280 --> 0:48:03.480 Yeah. 0:48:03.920 --> 0:48:05.020 I know it's a slight difference. 0:48:05.380 --> 0:48:05.980 Sure, sure, sure. 0:48:06.000 --> 0:48:09.250 Like I'm going to do my material no matter what. 0:48:10.170 --> 0:48:12.489 If you don't know me, if you don't like me, 0:48:12.550 --> 0:48:15.050 if I'm not funny, I'm going to do my jokes. 0:48:15.750 --> 0:48:20.310 And that's bomb, bomb city in a cold room like that. 0:48:21.550 --> 0:48:24.470 So I just try to go in and feel the same, 0:48:25.270 --> 0:48:28.169 you know, I read the room, literally read the room, 0:48:28.810 --> 0:48:33.009 and that's where I start my jokes. So then it 0:48:33.070 --> 0:48:36.120 breaks the ice and it's like, okay, I'm on the 0:48:36.140 --> 0:48:38.680 same plane and I go, this is a classic joke 0:48:38.700 --> 0:48:42.480 that I do. And it's a litmus test for me too, 0:48:42.560 --> 0:48:46.040 like how much I'm going to bomb that night. How 0:48:46.080 --> 0:48:50.300 much am I going to be dead inside? So the older, 0:48:50.940 --> 0:48:55.839 one of the person's birthday, her father's like 79. And, 0:48:55.900 --> 0:48:59.279 you know, he was looking at me like this. You know, 0:48:59.360 --> 0:49:02.089 I'm like going out there in a suit basically for 0:49:02.120 --> 0:49:05.430 somebody's bar mitzvah. It was insane. Okay. 0:49:05.510 --> 0:49:08.790 It was a 79-year-old's bar mitzvah? No. Finally, he's a man. 0:49:09.010 --> 0:49:11.010 Got it. Showbiz. 0:49:11.330 --> 0:49:12.370 It was like a bar mitzvah. 0:49:12.390 --> 0:49:13.370 Yeah, yeah. Got it, got it, got it. 0:49:13.370 --> 0:49:17.230 Gay guys, am I right? Am I right? 0:49:18.730 --> 0:49:22.020 So I just do this. joke and I look at 0:49:22.040 --> 0:49:26.420 the guy because he is feeling like, who the fuck 0:49:26.640 --> 0:49:27.060 is this? 0:49:27.120 --> 0:49:28.910 Yeah, he's like, when will death come? 0:49:29.140 --> 0:49:32.469 I don't want you to be here. You're a fucking clown. Like, 0:49:32.530 --> 0:49:35.750 what is this? And of course, you know, the microphone 0:49:35.790 --> 0:49:37.830 barely works and you're in the dark. You know, all 0:49:37.850 --> 0:49:41.090 those other beautiful... sides of show business. 0:49:42.050 --> 0:49:44.810 Great callback. 0:49:44.830 --> 0:49:47.160 So I looked at the guy and I go, sir, 0:49:48.340 --> 0:49:51.000 I'm going to do an impersonation of you looking at me. 0:49:51.719 --> 0:49:52.900 And I look at the rest of the crowd and 0:49:52.920 --> 0:49:56.120 I say, you know, they can't see what I'm looking at, sir. So, 0:49:56.420 --> 0:49:58.419 and I say, what's your name? And he's like, Jack. 0:49:58.440 --> 0:49:59.719 I was like, okay, Jack, I'm going to do an 0:49:59.739 --> 0:50:00.430 impersonation of you. 0:50:00.469 --> 0:50:00.759 Here it is. 0:50:00.780 --> 0:50:15.719 Laughter Laughter Laughter Wow. 0:50:17.060 --> 0:50:20.250 And then I say, Jack, I'm reading your mind. He's thinking, 0:50:20.430 --> 0:50:22.410 is it a man or a woman? Is it a 0:50:22.469 --> 0:50:25.350 man or a woman? And I say, Jack, the answer 0:50:25.390 --> 0:50:31.300 is no. Now, if there's no laughter, I'm fucked. 0:50:31.680 --> 0:50:32.580 Sure, sure, sure. 0:50:32.640 --> 0:50:34.020 Okay, and then I'll say, if you didn't laugh at 0:50:34.060 --> 0:50:35.819 that joke, it's going to be the longest three minutes 0:50:35.840 --> 0:50:39.930 of your fucking life tonight. So that's like, you know, 0:50:40.030 --> 0:50:43.189 so you gotta be in there and notice what they're, 0:50:44.150 --> 0:50:46.890 that's what I do. To me, hosting is about the 0:50:46.969 --> 0:50:51.630 audience and then making the performers feel comfortable and like 0:50:51.950 --> 0:50:52.830 building up the energy. 0:50:54.410 --> 0:50:56.190 I think you're absolutely right. It's a different, and I 0:50:56.210 --> 0:50:57.930 think you're so right about people that go in and 0:50:57.950 --> 0:51:00.100 just wanna do their material as though they're like doing 0:51:00.140 --> 0:51:00.980 a scripted play. 0:51:01.640 --> 0:51:04.700 Well, someone wanting to go out to somewhere cold, I'm like, 0:51:04.900 --> 0:51:07.300 I do not relate at all. I recently did a 0:51:07.300 --> 0:51:09.230 show and someone was like, someone was going up first 0:51:09.250 --> 0:51:10.770 and he was like, yeah, I mean, this crowd's not 0:51:10.810 --> 0:51:12.610 really gonna like me, but I kind of like when 0:51:12.630 --> 0:51:13.250 that's the case. 0:51:13.530 --> 0:51:15.469 And I was like, I don't- People are masochists. 0:51:15.610 --> 0:51:17.009 I don't want that ever in my life. 0:51:17.870 --> 0:51:18.810 But have you gone out cold? 0:51:19.230 --> 0:51:21.009 Oh, sure. For sure, many times. 0:51:21.030 --> 0:51:21.330 Oh my God. 0:51:21.370 --> 0:51:22.509 Or can you, yes. 0:51:22.570 --> 0:51:24.049 But I'm just sort of like, do we have to? 0:51:24.070 --> 0:51:26.730 Yeah, I mean, I would rather not do it. 0:51:26.830 --> 0:51:27.430 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0:51:27.450 --> 0:51:31.200 But you know, this isn't a flex, guys, but I 0:51:31.719 --> 0:51:34.399 was the host of a show at the Sydney Opera 0:51:34.420 --> 0:51:36.299 House for like several seasons, right? 0:51:36.320 --> 0:51:36.400 Okay. 0:51:36.730 --> 0:51:39.230 And it was eight shows a week. And, you know, 0:51:39.250 --> 0:51:42.210 I was on the billboards out there and everything. But 0:51:42.290 --> 0:51:45.370 what I learned, and it made me a better comedian, 0:51:46.230 --> 0:51:50.470 is every night I went out full-blown cold. They didn't 0:51:50.489 --> 0:51:52.260 know who I was. They didn't know what the show was. 0:51:52.280 --> 0:51:55.440 They've never seen anybody like me. And it was like 0:51:55.540 --> 0:52:01.100 a different demographic of Taurus or Nightmare audience every single night. 0:52:01.160 --> 0:52:06.790 It was completely different. So... I think this is New 0:52:06.830 --> 0:52:09.600 York too. New York made me have a thick skin. 0:52:09.719 --> 0:52:09.939 Yeah. 0:52:10.460 --> 0:52:15.120 So I learned to adapt depending on what the crowd 0:52:15.160 --> 0:52:18.480 was like. And I wouldn't have learned that. Oh my God, 0:52:18.520 --> 0:52:27.219 I got to spit. Don't edit that out, it's a theme. No, 0:52:27.410 --> 0:52:28.029 that's a clip. 0:52:28.110 --> 0:52:28.930 They're keeping that. 0:52:33.570 --> 0:52:35.710 Yeah, but so in that way, I like going out 0:52:35.750 --> 0:52:39.209 cold because it was like college. I learned from being 0:52:39.270 --> 0:52:41.870 on the boards. It's like an old Bob Dylan term. 0:52:41.910 --> 0:52:45.910 But it sucks. I think my issue right now is, 0:52:47.160 --> 0:52:49.380 I mean, when we were coming up, so much of 0:52:49.460 --> 0:52:53.299 our life was just like performing to rooms that, to 0:52:53.380 --> 0:52:56.420 silence or to like an ambush show at a bar 0:52:56.500 --> 0:52:58.500 where like people didn't even know there was comedy happening 0:52:58.540 --> 0:53:01.590 that night or like, I my first year doing comedy, 0:53:01.630 --> 0:53:03.700 I was in Boston, like the show I hosted was 0:53:03.760 --> 0:53:06.540 literally in a bar owned by a Trump supporter and 0:53:06.580 --> 0:53:09.160 had a MAGA hat on the wall. Like I'm very 0:53:09.260 --> 0:53:12.890 I was very used to comedy crowds that didn't like me. 0:53:13.250 --> 0:53:14.690 And then you get a taste of what it's like 0:53:14.730 --> 0:53:16.930 when the crowd does know you and like we go 0:53:16.989 --> 0:53:18.850 on tour and it's people who listen to the podcast 0:53:19.050 --> 0:53:23.489 or who like. I don't know, know us from online or, 0:53:23.650 --> 0:53:25.790 you know. And then you're like, oh, finally, like I 0:53:25.830 --> 0:53:27.549 don't have to do that anymore. And so then when 0:53:27.570 --> 0:53:29.890 you go back to going out cold, it feels like 0:53:29.930 --> 0:53:31.770 such a defeat because you thought that it was in 0:53:31.790 --> 0:53:34.630 your past, you know? But unfortunately it's the only way 0:53:35.170 --> 0:53:37.469 to keep going and to like convince more people to 0:53:37.530 --> 0:53:38.069 care about you. 0:53:38.290 --> 0:53:40.610 Well, that's the fucked up shit about show business. Like 0:53:40.910 --> 0:53:43.070 I did my Christmas show, two sold out nights at 0:53:43.110 --> 0:53:46.070 Lincoln Center last year. Three nights ago, I was in 0:53:46.110 --> 0:53:49.819 a basement in front of 20 people there like, The 0:53:49.920 --> 0:53:53.200 fuck is this? But I think of it as sports too, 0:53:53.219 --> 0:53:57.259 like playing to the home court. And I toured with 0:53:57.280 --> 0:54:00.080 Dita Von Teese at Burlesque Star for 10 years. And 0:54:00.100 --> 0:54:02.320 we just went over and over, all over the country 0:54:02.340 --> 0:54:05.540 and all over the world. And when you do that 0:54:05.600 --> 0:54:09.219 so many times, there's certain audiences that you're like, oh 0:54:09.260 --> 0:54:12.779 my God. If you just take the West Coast, no 0:54:12.860 --> 0:54:15.020 offense to LA, but you take the West Coast and 0:54:15.040 --> 0:54:17.660 you start at the top and you go Seattle, Portland, 0:54:18.010 --> 0:54:23.500 San Francisco, That is like, they get the jokes, they're hilarious, 0:54:24.120 --> 0:54:26.980 you know, people want you there, they're happy you actually 0:54:27.080 --> 0:54:32.030 just showed up, it's queer, it's fluid, it's like, and 0:54:32.070 --> 0:54:34.310 then it's like, when I feel the energy, I start 0:54:34.330 --> 0:54:41.870 going crazy, crazy. Like I, ping pong, ping pong, ping, ping, ping, ping, ping, ping, 0:54:41.910 --> 0:54:43.650 and they're like, get off stage, you've been up there 0:54:43.690 --> 0:54:46.210 for an hour and a half. And then you go 0:54:46.230 --> 0:54:50.200 to LA and it's industry night. And then you're coming 0:54:50.280 --> 0:54:53.200 out hot from the other shows. And if you, I 0:54:53.219 --> 0:54:56.400 don't know about you guys, but anytime you think about 0:54:57.060 --> 0:55:00.509 the show that went well the night before, when you're 0:55:00.550 --> 0:55:04.250 up the stage the next night, dead on arrival. 0:55:05.030 --> 0:55:06.989 This happened to me literally like two weeks ago. 0:55:07.030 --> 0:55:11.560 You cannot, it's a mental, I don't think people understand 0:55:11.580 --> 0:55:16.259 the mental, insanity that goes into being a comedian. So 0:55:16.280 --> 0:55:20.760 like LA, you'll go and it will be absolutely silent. 0:55:21.440 --> 0:55:24.180 And it's industry night, right? And people go, it's industry night, 0:55:24.200 --> 0:55:27.450 it's industry night, celebrities and press. And it's the worst crowd. 0:55:27.670 --> 0:55:27.910 Yeah. 0:55:28.150 --> 0:55:29.530 Like of the entire tour. 0:55:29.850 --> 0:55:30.029 Yeah. 0:55:30.110 --> 0:55:32.530 Every time. And they don't laugh at anything. 0:55:33.190 --> 0:55:37.680 And they're like, Because either they've seen it all, or 0:55:37.739 --> 0:55:40.319 they themselves are aspiring performers, so they're not interested. 0:55:40.340 --> 0:55:42.859 Or they're like their agent's assistant, and they're just like 0:55:42.880 --> 0:55:43.819 there because they have to be. 0:55:43.840 --> 0:55:46.150 Yeah, but it's brutal. 0:55:46.250 --> 0:55:48.530 Whereas in Portland, they're so excited to see burlesque. 0:55:48.950 --> 0:55:50.030 Yeah, no, it's crazy. 0:55:50.050 --> 0:55:52.270 They're like, Dita Von Teese is kind of like their Madonna. 0:55:52.290 --> 0:55:56.640 Yeah, and then, you know, I definitely bombed over the years. Oh, 0:55:56.660 --> 0:56:00.300 you're human. Yeah, showbiz. But I toured with Countess Luann. 0:56:00.739 --> 0:56:00.839 Oh. 0:56:00.940 --> 0:56:02.100 I'm real housewives of Derek. 0:56:02.120 --> 0:56:02.420 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0:56:02.520 --> 0:56:09.290 Hello, Flexx. I don't think I've bombed as hard in 0:56:09.330 --> 0:56:11.049 Miami with her. 0:56:11.070 --> 0:56:12.730 Miami is tough. 0:56:12.810 --> 0:56:14.290 I've heard that's a real thing. 0:56:14.469 --> 0:56:18.230 Brutal. Now, the singer, because it was me and a singer, 0:56:18.710 --> 0:56:20.750 and then, you know, while she's doing costume change, I 0:56:20.790 --> 0:56:22.299 come out and just do a 10-minute set, which is, 0:56:22.760 --> 0:56:26.260 you know, as comedians, 10-minute set, if you're cooking, that's nothing. 0:56:27.000 --> 0:56:31.060 If you're stinking it up, it's fucking living hell. 0:56:31.420 --> 0:56:31.640 Yeah. 0:56:32.380 --> 0:56:34.520 And I stunk that one up so bad, I felt... 0:56:34.770 --> 0:56:38.190 dirty afterwards you know where you're just like why do 0:56:38.230 --> 0:56:38.970 i do this. 0:56:39.170 --> 0:56:41.790 Was this would you say her audience was like mostly 0:56:41.830 --> 0:56:43.450 women or gay men in miami. 0:56:43.670 --> 0:56:47.060 Well the the one that made that particular weird and 0:56:47.080 --> 0:56:49.120 i was so happy because we're at the jackie gleason 0:56:49.160 --> 0:56:52.140 theater where he filmed his tv show back in the 0:56:52.180 --> 0:56:54.680 old days so i was like oh jackie you know 0:56:54.760 --> 0:56:56.540 he's like that and there's a statue of him in 0:56:56.560 --> 0:56:58.300 the front so i was like oh i need pictures 0:56:58.340 --> 0:57:00.529 of him everywhere i'm like jackie gleason of course no 0:57:00.610 --> 0:57:03.290 one knows the reference of Jackie Gleason in that audience. 0:57:03.350 --> 0:57:04.650 Especially not her audience, no offense. 0:57:05.910 --> 0:57:13.110 But her audience is, it was housewives, rich women, gay men, 0:57:14.020 --> 0:57:17.300 and in Miami, the show was at 7.30. So people 0:57:17.320 --> 0:57:20.479 were still out from the beach. So everyone was late. 0:57:21.540 --> 0:57:24.140 So I'm up there doing jokes and it's half full, 0:57:24.340 --> 0:57:27.640 people are coming in and they are dressed like insane. 0:57:28.390 --> 0:57:31.430 I'm like basically wearing bikinis in there. I'm like, what 0:57:31.510 --> 0:57:36.650 is happening? I'm like, man or woman. And they didn't 0:57:36.690 --> 0:57:39.190 even look at me. But the worst part was the 0:57:39.270 --> 0:57:43.630 cast of the Miami Housewives came in. This is the 0:57:43.830 --> 0:57:47.850 worst part of showbiz. Walked in during my set. So 0:57:47.930 --> 0:57:49.590 they walked in and then, you know. 0:57:49.990 --> 0:57:51.130 Everyone started paying attention to them. 0:57:51.190 --> 0:57:53.150 And they even got up and surrounded them. 0:57:53.270 --> 0:57:53.830 Oh, wow. 0:57:53.850 --> 0:57:54.810 And that was just like. 0:57:54.830 --> 0:57:56.250 Oh, my God. 0:57:56.270 --> 0:57:57.010 That's tough. 0:57:57.050 --> 0:57:58.210 That is so tough. 0:57:58.630 --> 0:57:59.630 God, you have seen it all. 0:57:59.710 --> 0:58:01.430 That was a long 10 minutes, guys. 0:58:01.710 --> 0:58:02.350 I'm sure. 0:58:02.770 --> 0:58:07.860 But there's this other story in Vegas. Vegas was a 0:58:08.090 --> 0:58:10.720 weird one. I did well in that show. But, you know, 0:58:11.020 --> 0:58:12.660 the audience, we were on a Monday night and it 0:58:12.700 --> 0:58:15.240 wasn't full. But every night she sells out. Every night 0:58:15.260 --> 0:58:17.560 she sold out that tour. But this was Monday and 0:58:17.600 --> 0:58:20.080 we were in somebody else's theater. So it was a 0:58:20.100 --> 0:58:22.400 weird one. So it wasn't full and she was pissed. 0:58:23.540 --> 0:58:24.900 And I was sitting there on the wings, you know, 0:58:24.920 --> 0:58:27.460 waiting to go on like a good boy. Because she's 0:58:27.480 --> 0:58:31.300 so much taller than me. She's so hot. 0:58:31.340 --> 0:58:32.500 She is. She looks great. 0:58:32.520 --> 0:58:36.090 Oh, I know, girl. That's it? What's this that you 0:58:36.110 --> 0:58:36.430 guys do? 0:58:36.650 --> 0:58:37.090 Clock it. 0:58:37.510 --> 0:58:39.530 Oh, is that what it means? Fuck, I thought that 0:58:39.550 --> 0:58:42.210 was applause. Fuck, I'm going to get back to this. 0:58:42.250 --> 0:58:44.930 I've got to finish my train of thought. So she 0:58:44.970 --> 0:58:45.530 was pissed. 0:58:45.590 --> 0:58:45.840 Yeah. 0:58:46.280 --> 0:58:48.100 And I just happened to be right there. And she 0:58:48.160 --> 0:58:52.490 turned around and she was like, you, you, you, All 0:58:52.510 --> 0:58:54.540 of your jokes have to be about the Real Housewives 0:58:54.580 --> 0:58:57.980 of New York starting tonight, right now. And I was like, okay. 0:58:59.700 --> 0:59:01.500 So she went up and did her thing. I went 0:59:01.580 --> 0:59:09.350 out and I did this. Guys, count this the win. 0:59:09.660 --> 0:59:12.800 Just fucking chewed me out backstage saying I had to 0:59:12.840 --> 0:59:16.050 do Real Housewives jokes. And I didn't have the heart 0:59:16.070 --> 0:59:19.490 to tell her I don't watch the show. And then 0:59:19.530 --> 0:59:20.270 I did my damn set. 0:59:21.010 --> 0:59:22.210 Oh my God. Did she? 0:59:22.510 --> 0:59:23.450 No, she was getting changed. 0:59:23.470 --> 0:59:24.010 She was getting changed. 0:59:24.050 --> 0:59:25.010 Nobody told me. Oh, wow. 0:59:25.030 --> 0:59:26.110 And then you went back and you were like, oh 0:59:26.130 --> 0:59:27.610 my God, they love the Housewives material. 0:59:27.630 --> 0:59:28.790 She was like, oh my God, they were laughing. I 0:59:28.790 --> 0:59:29.530 was like, uh-huh. 0:59:29.570 --> 0:59:33.670 Yeah. Wow. Wow. I love hearing about when someone pops 0:59:33.790 --> 0:59:37.530 off and is like, threatens almost. Like, you have to 0:59:37.570 --> 0:59:39.030 do that material. That's amazing. 0:59:39.070 --> 0:59:42.640 Well, there's nothing I hate more. And like, that didn't 0:59:42.680 --> 0:59:46.060 throw me off. When somebody comes up right, I don't 0:59:46.080 --> 0:59:49.120 know about you guys, right before you go on and 0:59:49.180 --> 0:59:52.110 either gives you a note or tells you something fucked up. 0:59:52.690 --> 0:59:55.330 And like, literally, and then it's like, Murray Hill, and 0:59:55.350 --> 0:59:56.730 you're like. 0:59:57.820 --> 0:59:57.990 Oh. 0:59:58.800 --> 1:00:01.820 Yeah, but that makes it feel so much more showbiz. 1:00:01.900 --> 1:00:03.840 It's so cinematic to have that happen. 1:00:04.080 --> 1:00:07.560 It's, you know, oftentimes Sam references, there's a scene in 1:00:07.580 --> 1:00:09.200 the Katy Perry documentary where she is. 1:00:09.780 --> 1:00:10.560 Oh, okay. 1:00:10.880 --> 1:00:15.740 She is, she finds out she's getting divorced. She's being 1:00:15.780 --> 1:00:17.280 served with divorce papers and she has to go on 1:00:17.320 --> 1:00:17.960 stage immediately. 1:00:18.260 --> 1:00:20.610 And she's like crying, crying, crying, crying, crying. And then 1:00:20.630 --> 1:00:21.890 they're like, do you want to cancel the show? And 1:00:21.910 --> 1:00:24.090 she's like, no. And she's like standing on the platform 1:00:24.110 --> 1:00:26.220 where she's about to get lifted up, crying, crying, crying, 1:00:26.520 --> 1:00:28.880 then like looks forward, stops crying. And then it goes, 1:00:30.060 --> 1:00:31.020 and then gets lifted up. 1:00:31.140 --> 1:00:31.660 And it's like, whoa. 1:00:31.700 --> 1:00:32.760 That's showbiz. 1:00:32.780 --> 1:00:33.980 That's you and Countess Luann. 1:00:34.280 --> 1:00:35.080 That's you and Countess Luann. 1:00:35.160 --> 1:00:36.360 Wait. That's me every night. 1:00:36.440 --> 1:00:39.540 The version of me that happened to once was I 1:00:39.580 --> 1:00:41.930 was on a showcase, of course. It was an audition 1:00:41.970 --> 1:00:45.220 for something. And one of the fellow people showcasing was, 1:00:45.610 --> 1:00:50.670 was like told me that one of my longtime friends 1:00:50.890 --> 1:00:55.010 who had been straight up until that point was hooking 1:00:55.050 --> 1:00:55.550 up with a man. 1:00:56.570 --> 1:00:59.340 And then it was like, welcome to the stage, Sam Taggart. 1:00:59.580 --> 1:01:00.640 And you had just heard the shocking news? 1:01:00.660 --> 1:01:02.620 And I just heard the shocking news that my longtime 1:01:02.640 --> 1:01:04.860 friend was gay. 1:01:04.880 --> 1:01:06.880 Wow. How did the set go? 1:01:07.380 --> 1:01:11.970 Incredible. I booked it. Oh, good for you. It went well. 1:01:13.140 --> 1:01:14.630 But it was kind of awesome. I was sort of like, 1:01:14.650 --> 1:01:17.330 I felt like I was in Showgirls or something. Yeah. 1:01:17.350 --> 1:01:19.230 Speaking of Showgirls, I mean, I'm... Wait, we. 1:01:19.190 --> 1:01:19.710 Should wrap up. 1:01:19.870 --> 1:01:22.950 I know, we should wrap up. I want to hear 1:01:22.970 --> 1:01:25.070 about Dita Von Teese, but we're running out of time. 1:01:25.670 --> 1:01:31.390 Dita Von Teese, to me, I'm like... I feel like 1:01:31.610 --> 1:01:34.180 everyone knows who she is, and I couldn't tell you 1:01:34.200 --> 1:01:35.740 where I know her from. I just know that she 1:01:35.780 --> 1:01:39.560 is a quintessential burlesque performer. 1:01:40.280 --> 1:01:42.850 She, to me, well, this was when I was a 1:01:42.890 --> 1:01:46.450 Perez Hilton reader in the year, you know, 2006. He 1:01:47.150 --> 1:01:49.030 used to come to the shows. He was a big fan. 1:01:49.050 --> 1:01:50.730 That's how I met him. And he would like post 1:01:50.770 --> 1:01:51.650 about her all the time. 1:01:51.710 --> 1:01:52.310 Oh, interesting. 1:01:52.350 --> 1:01:53.570 That's kind of how I knew about her. 1:01:53.590 --> 1:01:55.180 Did you enjoy working with her? 1:01:55.820 --> 1:01:59.360 Yeah, it was insane. We went together like Reese's Pieces, 1:01:59.400 --> 1:02:02.540 you know, like peanut butter and chocolate. Because she is 1:02:02.600 --> 1:02:06.419 very like ornate and these fancy costumes and like, you know, 1:02:06.980 --> 1:02:10.140 there was no acknowledgement of the audience. It was like, 1:02:10.500 --> 1:02:10.860 look at me. 1:02:10.880 --> 1:02:12.040 I'm beautiful. I'm perfect. 1:02:12.160 --> 1:02:15.400 It's very old school glamor. And then I was like, 1:02:15.420 --> 1:02:18.780 you know, the baggy pants comedian in the tuxedo, like. 1:02:20.440 --> 1:02:20.680 Yeah. 1:02:20.840 --> 1:02:21.280 It just worked. 1:02:21.300 --> 1:02:22.490 Classic combo. 1:02:22.550 --> 1:02:25.530 It just worked. And, you know, and that, I went 1:02:25.570 --> 1:02:28.350 out cold a lot for that show too. Because some 1:02:28.370 --> 1:02:30.530 of those, some of the burlesque crowd when we were 1:02:30.550 --> 1:02:33.650 touring was, well, it's not rockabilly. What are those motorcycle 1:02:33.690 --> 1:02:34.150 guys called? 1:02:34.170 --> 1:02:39.410 I know. Is it not? 1:02:39.430 --> 1:02:40.630 No, the cars, the car guys. 1:02:41.110 --> 1:02:42.630 Like Harley, like greasers? 1:02:42.710 --> 1:02:47.780 No, no, no. Who knows this? There's got to be some. No, no, 1:02:48.080 --> 1:02:50.560 not that straight. But, you know, like the car culture, 1:02:50.580 --> 1:02:51.800 like the slick back hair. 1:02:51.820 --> 1:02:52.360 Yes, yes, yes. 1:02:52.380 --> 1:02:53.080 Sure, sure, sure. 1:02:53.120 --> 1:02:54.620 No, they're not greasers. It's got a name. 1:02:54.840 --> 1:02:55.740 Is that not Rockabilly? 1:02:55.920 --> 1:02:56.540 Yeah, Rockabilly. 1:02:56.560 --> 1:02:57.520 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1:02:57.620 --> 1:02:58.380 I didn't say Rockabilly. 1:02:58.440 --> 1:02:58.980 You did. 1:02:59.040 --> 1:02:59.380 You did. 1:02:59.480 --> 1:03:00.520 I don't even know what Rockabilly is. 1:03:00.520 --> 1:03:01.140 Roll back the tapes. 1:03:03.430 --> 1:03:05.160 I said Rockabilly. I'm doing great. 1:03:05.180 --> 1:03:06.390 You definitely said Rockabilly. Yeah. 1:03:06.900 --> 1:03:10.060 Prozac's kicking in. They just upped my dosage. 1:03:10.080 --> 1:03:11.340 You know things you didn't even know were in there. 1:03:11.360 --> 1:03:12.920 Yeah, show me. 1:03:13.060 --> 1:03:15.620 Okay, so rockabilly. Yes. She is very. 1:03:15.640 --> 1:03:19.090 But you know, some of those guys are MAGA. 1:03:20.030 --> 1:03:20.430 Oh, yeah. 1:03:20.450 --> 1:03:20.650 Correct. 1:03:20.710 --> 1:03:23.520 And they're very conservative. So it's like when I get up. 1:03:23.830 --> 1:03:28.050 So it was like queer and like, yeah, rockabilly girls. 1:03:28.090 --> 1:03:30.330 Well, because you need to. It's like, what level of 1:03:30.510 --> 1:03:32.550 irony are you processing this with? Like the people that 1:03:32.610 --> 1:03:34.720 think Dita Von Teese is campy, which is what she is, 1:03:35.460 --> 1:03:37.660 I imagine, trying to be. are queer and are in 1:03:37.700 --> 1:03:39.360 on the joke, but then there's just men who want 1:03:39.380 --> 1:03:40.320 to see a woman get naked. 1:03:40.340 --> 1:03:44.780 I like what you said there, kid. Level of irony. 1:03:45.400 --> 1:03:51.070 Because sometimes I feel like it's when there's no level 1:03:51.110 --> 1:03:54.810 of irony being from an audience member, I'm dead. 1:03:55.190 --> 1:03:56.610 Yes, exactly. That can scare me. 1:03:56.650 --> 1:03:57.730 They have to understand. 1:03:58.130 --> 1:04:01.710 We're kidding. I don't mean most of the things I'm 1:04:01.730 --> 1:04:02.330 saying right now. 1:04:02.490 --> 1:04:04.650 Yeah, and I don't want to fuck you guys up 1:04:04.670 --> 1:04:07.350 with this whole gender stuff, but... You know, I did 1:04:07.730 --> 1:04:12.500 a show and I fucking bombed. All lesbian crowd, outdoor concert. 1:04:12.540 --> 1:04:14.080 Never will do outdoor concerts again. 1:04:14.140 --> 1:04:14.520 Oh, God, no. 1:04:14.760 --> 1:04:18.680 Yeah, daytime is brutal. Anyway, I was like making jokes and, 1:04:18.780 --> 1:04:21.910 you know, the whole property was vegetarian. Okay? 1:04:22.550 --> 1:04:23.330 I could have told you that. 1:04:23.410 --> 1:04:26.810 Yeah. And I was like, hey, before I get started, 1:04:26.830 --> 1:04:28.650 anybody know where I can get a cheeseburger? 1:04:29.390 --> 1:04:32.250 I mean, you can't go to the vegetarian lesbian commune 1:04:32.310 --> 1:04:33.810 and start joking about cheeseburgers. 1:04:33.870 --> 1:04:37.730 I'm not kidding. I was booed. I was fucking booed. 1:04:38.270 --> 1:04:41.120 And I said this as a reaction and it was 1:04:41.240 --> 1:04:44.780 wrong and I did it anyway. And I said, hey, 1:04:44.840 --> 1:04:47.500 I'm not your father. I'm not really a man. And 1:04:47.520 --> 1:04:55.240 they were just like, I'm. 1:04:51.740 --> 1:04:53.930 Like, look at me. 1:04:54.110 --> 1:04:55.180 Wow. 1:04:55.350 --> 1:04:56.050 It can be rough. 1:04:56.130 --> 1:04:59.390 That is so interesting. I'm surprised they didn't get a 1:04:59.410 --> 1:05:01.250 kick out of it. Cheeseburger joke? 1:05:01.370 --> 1:05:02.430 I thought it was hilarious. 1:05:02.610 --> 1:05:03.230 I like that. 1:05:03.270 --> 1:05:05.150 They don't want to be. They're like, this is our 1:05:05.290 --> 1:05:09.800 only safe space is this vegetarian property. Yeah. 1:05:10.020 --> 1:05:11.540 I know we got to wrap it up. But being 1:05:11.580 --> 1:05:17.160 deep here, I think sometimes if you feel disenfranchised and 1:05:17.220 --> 1:05:20.010 oppressed and you don't have any visibility or you're not seen, 1:05:20.630 --> 1:05:25.370 it's very hard to laugh at yourself. So you're always defensive. 1:05:25.410 --> 1:05:28.560 So in comedy, if the audience is defensive, forget it. 1:05:29.190 --> 1:05:29.530 It's over. 1:05:29.550 --> 1:05:30.070 Yeah. 1:05:30.210 --> 1:05:31.790 But gay guys, you're left with anything. 1:05:32.330 --> 1:05:32.890 Oh, we're fun. 1:05:33.240 --> 1:05:33.890 You are a lot of fun. 1:05:34.070 --> 1:05:34.610 I'll say. 1:05:34.800 --> 1:05:35.320 Thank you. 1:05:35.340 --> 1:05:37.919 Thank you. Let's do our final segment. 1:05:37.940 --> 1:05:40.200 Let's do our final segment. 1:05:40.260 --> 1:05:41.040 Let's do. 1:05:44.340 --> 1:05:50.710 Our final segment. Our final segment is shout outs. So 1:05:50.770 --> 1:05:52.910 we are just going to shout out something that we 1:05:52.950 --> 1:05:53.470 are loving. 1:05:53.490 --> 1:05:54.610 Okay. 1:05:54.910 --> 1:05:56.230 And we'll go first and then you can go and 1:05:56.250 --> 1:05:57.890 we make them up. We think of them on the spot. 1:05:57.970 --> 1:05:59.800 So we're both trying to be inspired right now. 1:05:59.820 --> 1:06:02.580 Wait, hold on. Just random things? 1:06:02.800 --> 1:06:03.180 Yeah. 1:06:03.240 --> 1:06:03.740 Anything at all. 1:06:03.760 --> 1:06:04.800 Something that I like. 1:06:04.960 --> 1:06:06.140 Yeah. Something positive. 1:06:06.280 --> 1:06:07.040 Something positive. 1:06:07.060 --> 1:06:09.140 Do you have one? You know what? 1:06:09.300 --> 1:06:12.100 I'll do one that I've done before in the spirit 1:06:12.140 --> 1:06:17.230 of today's guest. I want to shout out Bridget Everett. 1:06:17.650 --> 1:06:20.800 who we didn't talk about too much, but she is 1:06:21.030 --> 1:06:22.880 actually one of the first performers I ever saw doing 1:06:22.920 --> 1:06:25.420 any kind of comedy live. At the Ritz? No, at 1:06:25.440 --> 1:06:28.440 a dive bar in San Francisco. And she got on 1:06:28.500 --> 1:06:30.720 top of the bar and did like a stage dive 1:06:30.800 --> 1:06:35.380 to 40, 30 people. It was one of the most... 1:06:35.300 --> 1:06:36.740 And then I actually went up to her after the 1:06:36.780 --> 1:06:40.090 show and I said, I want to be a comedian. 1:06:40.110 --> 1:06:42.050 And she was like, okay, sweetheart. And then we took 1:06:42.090 --> 1:06:43.330 a photo together. 1:06:43.630 --> 1:06:44.689 She's like, okay, bye. 1:06:44.710 --> 1:06:46.370 Yeah, literally. And then it took me a couple years 1:06:46.410 --> 1:06:51.189 before I started doing... Doing comedy. But she just is, 1:06:51.550 --> 1:06:54.970 to me, like she unlocked something that I hadn't seen 1:06:55.030 --> 1:06:57.700 before in comedy. And so the fact that she was 1:06:57.800 --> 1:06:59.600 able to work with you and with Jeff Hiller and 1:06:59.620 --> 1:07:02.420 to actually be on Sunday nights at HBO, you know, 1:07:02.960 --> 1:07:04.780 is proof that sometimes good things can happen. 1:07:05.420 --> 1:07:06.320 Yeah, and you can't give up. 1:07:06.520 --> 1:07:07.010 Yes, exactly. 1:07:07.030 --> 1:07:08.830 You know, we all got on that show in our 50s. 1:07:09.150 --> 1:07:09.669 Uh-huh, yeah. 1:07:09.770 --> 1:07:13.050 You know, and it's like we're not your typical TV people. 1:07:13.210 --> 1:07:13.710 And I remember. 1:07:13.730 --> 1:07:15.430 And now Jeff, you know, let's shout out to Jeff Hiller. 1:07:15.490 --> 1:07:16.590 Oh, my God. Emmy winner. Emmy? 1:07:17.570 --> 1:07:20.640 And he's going to be a recurring character on Widow's Bay. 1:07:20.780 --> 1:07:21.280 That's right. 1:07:21.300 --> 1:07:21.800 That's great. 1:07:22.300 --> 1:07:22.800 Jeff Hiller. 1:07:23.280 --> 1:07:25.910 I mean, he's always been a damn star. Absolute star. 1:07:25.990 --> 1:07:30.710 So funny. What's up, free klusers and perverts around the globe? 1:07:31.710 --> 1:07:33.790 I want to, you know, I want to redact a 1:07:33.990 --> 1:07:35.990 shout out that I did a few months ago. 1:07:36.010 --> 1:07:36.950 Ed Shearing? 1:07:37.850 --> 1:07:42.170 No, he's still good with me. I want to redact 1:07:42.230 --> 1:07:47.110 my shout out. Kidding, of course. To the lesbian commune, 1:07:47.160 --> 1:07:47.610 I'm kidding. 1:07:47.640 --> 1:07:53.240 If any vegetarian lesbians are listening, these are all jokes. 1:07:53.280 --> 1:07:54.980 I want to redact my shout out of having an 1:07:55.380 --> 1:07:58.280 external charger for my phone. I actually figure out what 1:07:58.320 --> 1:08:01.260 I needed was to get a new damn phone. And, 1:08:01.280 --> 1:08:05.550 you know, sometimes I go in bursts of consumerism and commercialism. 1:08:05.890 --> 1:08:07.770 And when I get in that mode, I'm like, why 1:08:07.830 --> 1:08:11.410 am I not doing this all the time? Currently, I'm saying, oh, oh, 1:08:11.470 --> 1:08:14.130 charge it, honey. Buy that phone. And you know what? 1:08:14.150 --> 1:08:16.059 It's made my life infinitely better and I could not 1:08:16.100 --> 1:08:18.380 be happier. My phone battery is not a concern of 1:08:18.400 --> 1:08:21.180 mine anymore. I can put my mind on bigger issues, 1:08:21.520 --> 1:08:24.040 what with everything going on with the midterms and all. 1:08:24.520 --> 1:08:26.979 So I'm so happy to have a real phone battery 1:08:27.040 --> 1:08:30.760 and say goodbye to my external charger. XOXO, Sam. 1:08:30.900 --> 1:08:32.700 Wow, shout out to Apple, the corporation. 1:08:32.939 --> 1:08:33.480 Shout out. 1:08:33.580 --> 1:08:34.320 What phone did you get? 1:08:34.840 --> 1:08:38.139 Whatever the, not the like flip one, just normal, normal. 1:08:38.200 --> 1:08:41.220 Okay, but not the flip one. As I said, stereotypes 1:08:41.260 --> 1:08:42.760 are based on facts. 1:08:42.840 --> 1:08:45.639 What's your favorite stereotype? 1:08:46.740 --> 1:08:47.769 Don't answer that. He's tricking you. 1:08:48.640 --> 1:08:49.439 It's a trap. 1:08:49.780 --> 1:08:50.140 Of course. 1:08:50.160 --> 1:08:52.190 Damn, kids. All right. Maria, whenever you're ready. 1:08:52.200 --> 1:08:57.530 I want to shout out the New York Knicks. 1:08:57.970 --> 1:08:58.510 Oh. 1:08:59.710 --> 1:08:59.930 Because. 1:09:00.320 --> 1:09:03.479 They brought me the most joy that I've had this 1:09:03.520 --> 1:09:08.010 year and possibly in the last decade. I watched the 1:09:08.070 --> 1:09:12.250 whole playoff series and the last three games, like seeing 1:09:12.270 --> 1:09:16.140 the city come together. Because, you know, I'm talking to 1:09:16.160 --> 1:09:16.800 a couple of guys. 1:09:16.900 --> 1:09:18.620 No, but I was I was right there with you. 1:09:18.640 --> 1:09:21.200 I was a bandwagon fan. I never cared about basketball before. 1:09:21.260 --> 1:09:24.150 And the joy I felt that week was crazy. 1:09:24.590 --> 1:09:26.850 Now, do you guys know like Mets and Yankees, right? 1:09:27.710 --> 1:09:28.490 They don't mix. 1:09:28.670 --> 1:09:29.110 Right. No. 1:09:29.150 --> 1:09:31.330 So when the Yankees win the World Series, you're never 1:09:31.430 --> 1:09:33.890 going to get the whole city behind you. So that's 1:09:33.930 --> 1:09:38.590 what was different about this. It was everybody. And it was. 1:09:38.610 --> 1:09:40.770 That's the only basketball team here? 1:09:40.810 --> 1:09:41.769 Well, there's the Brooklyn Nets. 1:09:42.400 --> 1:09:44.420 Yeah, so Knicks is the only basketball team here. If 1:09:44.439 --> 1:09:46.040 you guys want to hang out in straight places, that's 1:09:46.060 --> 1:09:48.480 what you say, okay? You say, oh, no, just the Knicks. 1:09:48.500 --> 1:09:49.770 That's the only team in New York, okay? 1:09:49.939 --> 1:09:50.660 Okay, okay. 1:09:50.850 --> 1:09:54.310 But, you know, I love sports, obviously. You know, I 1:09:54.330 --> 1:09:55.469 played basketball, clearly. 1:09:55.670 --> 1:09:56.990 And badminton, I learned. Oh, yeah. 1:09:57.229 --> 1:09:57.830 Oh, yeah. 1:09:57.890 --> 1:09:58.370 And pickleball. 1:09:58.890 --> 1:10:01.830 Oh, okay. Pickleball. 1:10:01.850 --> 1:10:03.670 Wow, shaming. What's pickleball shaming? 1:10:03.710 --> 1:10:04.170 Is that a word? 1:10:04.689 --> 1:10:06.150 It sure is. And I'm doing it. 1:10:06.370 --> 1:10:06.870 P-shamed. 1:10:07.950 --> 1:10:09.070 No, that's the word. 1:10:09.220 --> 1:10:10.920 I need to be P-shamed. I sit in that toilet 1:10:10.939 --> 1:10:11.260 so much. 1:10:12.650 --> 1:10:16.000 But yeah, the Knicks, I'll swing it back to Jalen Brunson. 1:10:16.460 --> 1:10:19.040 But it brought the city together and it was fun. 1:10:19.120 --> 1:10:21.700 And I didn't think about the dumpster fire that is 1:10:21.760 --> 1:10:25.099 currently our industry that we're all in and our world. And, 1:10:25.120 --> 1:10:28.260 you know, all the, it's just a ball and a 1:10:28.420 --> 1:10:30.099 basket and everybody going nuts. 1:10:30.360 --> 1:10:30.809 There you go. 1:10:30.850 --> 1:10:31.060 Woo. 1:10:31.910 --> 1:10:32.250 Well. 1:10:32.270 --> 1:10:32.970 Knicks in five. 1:10:33.270 --> 1:10:36.590 The book is called Showbiz, My Life as a Middle-Aged 1:10:36.630 --> 1:10:37.810 Man by Murray Hill. 1:10:38.570 --> 1:10:42.330 Let me see that. I haven't seen it yet. Any typos? 1:10:43.170 --> 1:10:45.059 Not so far. You know, I got it yesterday. I've 1:10:45.100 --> 1:10:46.189 read the first, I think, 59 pages. 1:10:46.220 --> 1:10:47.400 No, there's definitely typos in there. 1:10:47.420 --> 1:10:48.200 So far, no typos. 1:10:48.360 --> 1:10:50.020 Oh, I see you stopped at who ate my cheese. 1:10:50.060 --> 1:10:52.120 That's correct. I said I need to go to bed. 1:10:53.580 --> 1:10:54.820 Well, thanks for doing the pod. 1:10:54.840 --> 1:10:55.840 Thanks for doing the pod. 1:10:55.920 --> 1:10:56.200 Oh, okay. 1:10:56.240 --> 1:10:56.820 It's wet. 1:10:57.180 --> 1:10:57.620 It is not. 1:10:57.780 --> 1:10:58.320 Oh, you know what? 1:10:58.350 --> 1:10:58.990 Because there's water here. 1:10:59.010 --> 1:11:01.290 We spit on it. Bye. 1:11:02.350 --> 1:11:02.790 Get the book. 1:11:03.990 --> 1:11:07.090 Podcast ends now. Stradio Lab is a production by Will 1:11:07.130 --> 1:11:09.729 Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio Podcasts. 1:11:10.030 --> 1:11:12.820 Created and hosted by Sam Taggart and George Severus. 1:11:13.100 --> 1:11:14.679 Executive produced by Becca Ramos. 1:11:14.920 --> 1:11:16.439 Produced by Casey Donahue. 1:11:16.900 --> 1:11:18.520 Edited and mixed by Lawrence Stumpf. 1:11:18.860 --> 1:11:20.900 Social video done by Hot Dog Sandwich.