1 00:00:01,680 --> 00:00:04,359 Speaker 1: If you would like to have us answer your questions. 2 00:00:04,559 --> 00:00:07,880 Speaker 2: If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or 3 00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:13,039 Speaker 2: a terrible threatful guess what, You've got decisions. 4 00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:17,280 Speaker 3: It's another hump day, it's another you got decisions. 5 00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:21,800 Speaker 1: Babe, Babe, babe, babe bebe y'all to hear about that later. 6 00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:25,800 Speaker 3: Anyways, welcome to another You've Got decisions, y'all. 7 00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:29,080 Speaker 1: Our book is out. Literally, it's literally out. 8 00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:31,200 Speaker 3: You can literally if you don't have it yet, bit 9 00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:33,239 Speaker 3: too late, but there's always time. 10 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:34,120 Speaker 1: You can get it now. 11 00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:37,520 Speaker 2: Also, I've been telling people in my stories if you're 12 00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:39,800 Speaker 2: in the store, if you don't order it online, if 13 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:41,519 Speaker 2: you go to the store, please send us what it 14 00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:42,400 Speaker 2: looks like in the store. 15 00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:42,920 Speaker 1: Please do. 16 00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:45,320 Speaker 2: And noteworthy is it in the sex and psychology section 17 00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:49,680 Speaker 2: because we're number one on Amazon? Yeah, Medical, psycho general, 18 00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:51,080 Speaker 2: sexual health as well. 19 00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:54,720 Speaker 1: I was like, so, I'm like, yeah, all the different 20 00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:57,760 Speaker 1: categories are really interesting that we're being put into on Amazon. 21 00:00:57,800 --> 00:00:59,280 Speaker 1: Let me click on it and just see. 22 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:03,240 Speaker 2: Just so, No No Holds Barred has been out now 23 00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:04,480 Speaker 2: for how many hours? 24 00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:08,480 Speaker 3: Well, while we're recording this, this it's release date. 25 00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:10,080 Speaker 1: But when y'all hear this, it's been out for a 26 00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:10,520 Speaker 1: whole week. 27 00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:15,240 Speaker 2: Number one new release in Sex Instruction, Yo, uh huh, we'll. 28 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:22,960 Speaker 1: Take that number one in new releases. Okay, I'll take 29 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:24,920 Speaker 1: that one. I'll take that one for a show. 30 00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:30,600 Speaker 2: Then there's literature and fiction and erotica take that. We're 31 00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:33,160 Speaker 2: number two. Some mother fuck nigga will no number one. 32 00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:37,399 Speaker 2: We number two, and erotica releases and some other medical 33 00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:40,120 Speaker 2: shit medical, wait till they open it up. 34 00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:44,440 Speaker 1: Medical, Well, we do talk about anatomy. Medicinal. We talk snow, 35 00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:47,039 Speaker 1: we talk anatomy. That's science. Sure. Sure. 36 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:50,960 Speaker 3: Anyways, y'all don't holds bard a dull manifesto. Sexual exploration 37 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:53,200 Speaker 3: empowers out. Not only do we want to see what 38 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,400 Speaker 3: our books look like on the shelves when you're going 39 00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:58,480 Speaker 3: to the bookstores. If y'all can please take a picture 40 00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:00,320 Speaker 3: with our book and send it to me if you 41 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:02,639 Speaker 3: want to repost it. Over the next couple of weeks, 42 00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:06,120 Speaker 3: I'm gonna just be posting all the war Hive members 43 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:08,720 Speaker 3: with their books on our Decisions Decisions page. 44 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:10,880 Speaker 1: So please, please please, if. 45 00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:12,680 Speaker 3: You have the book, take a picture with it, Smile, 46 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:17,480 Speaker 3: be cute, and send that to me. Be up, damn kids, Actually, 47 00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:19,840 Speaker 3: just take it like this now because we can't post 48 00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:21,680 Speaker 3: it like that, but I can do something else with it. 49 00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:22,280 Speaker 1: Here we go. 50 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:26,320 Speaker 3: All right, Well, this week I thought it was only 51 00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:31,799 Speaker 3: right to read this question from our listener because sounds 52 00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:35,560 Speaker 3: very close to a chapter in Weezy's book, when do 53 00:02:35,639 --> 00:02:38,720 Speaker 3: you know you stay too long? Well, this one says, 54 00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:41,800 Speaker 3: my question is to leave or not to leave? 55 00:02:42,639 --> 00:02:42,839 Speaker 2: Hi. 56 00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:46,400 Speaker 3: I'm a new listener and have enjoyed listening to your pod. 57 00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:49,560 Speaker 3: It helps break up my boring ass days at work, 58 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:53,040 Speaker 3: so thank you. I'm writing today for some insight. 59 00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:55,440 Speaker 1: On what to do with my relationship. Here we go. 60 00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:58,480 Speaker 3: I'm a thirty seven year old female and my partner 61 00:02:58,520 --> 00:03:01,519 Speaker 3: is fifty four male. We've been together for two and 62 00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:05,960 Speaker 3: a half years. He's recently battled stage two prostate cancer. 63 00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:10,200 Speaker 3: He opted to have the surgery instead of chemo, which 64 00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:12,760 Speaker 3: I wasn't a fan of. The recovery time for the 65 00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:17,880 Speaker 3: surgery is extremely slow. Prior to his diagnosis, we had 66 00:03:17,919 --> 00:03:22,400 Speaker 3: the best sex life. It was sexy, spontaneous, and freaki 67 00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:27,280 Speaker 3: as fuck. Since the surgery, we haven't had any vaginal sex. 68 00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:31,200 Speaker 3: He hasn't had an erection since before the surgery. In 69 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:34,839 Speaker 3: November of twenty twenty four. That was the last time 70 00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:38,920 Speaker 3: we had sex. I've been celibate since then for contacts. 71 00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:41,440 Speaker 3: I've been celibate three times prior to this, for more 72 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:44,000 Speaker 3: than a year each time, but that was by my choice. 73 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:45,680 Speaker 1: How old is Jesus thirty seven? 74 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:50,480 Speaker 3: Surgery was seven months ago and he is in remission, 75 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:53,760 Speaker 3: which I'm so happy about. He finished physical therapy a 76 00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:56,280 Speaker 3: couple of months ago that hasn't continued to do any 77 00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:59,200 Speaker 3: exercises at home like he should. You know how black 78 00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:01,839 Speaker 3: men are. They feel they are better than they are. 79 00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:05,160 Speaker 3: But he doesn't understand he's healing from the inside out. 80 00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:08,120 Speaker 3: For the first few months, he would pleasure me with 81 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:11,680 Speaker 3: his hands, mouth, and toys. It's been about two months 82 00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:14,440 Speaker 3: since he's done any of that. I would even suck 83 00:04:14,440 --> 00:04:16,680 Speaker 3: his soft dick just so he wouldn't feel left out. 84 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:19,920 Speaker 3: I've tried to explain to him that I'm in need 85 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:23,880 Speaker 3: of intimacy, and intimacy can be more than sex. I 86 00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:27,400 Speaker 3: can't remember the last time he's kissed me or held 87 00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:30,760 Speaker 3: my hand. On top of the lack of intimacy, he's 88 00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:33,760 Speaker 3: gotten increasingly grumpier and rude, well dub bitch because he 89 00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:37,839 Speaker 3: ain't He ain't fucking anyway. I love him so much, 90 00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:42,040 Speaker 3: but I'm getting tired. I want to walk away before 91 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:45,320 Speaker 3: I cheat, because I'm not that type of person. Also, 92 00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:47,240 Speaker 3: I don't want to be the girl who loved the 93 00:04:47,279 --> 00:04:50,960 Speaker 3: cancer pation. Any advice that you can give me on 94 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:53,039 Speaker 3: how to handle this situation. 95 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:54,400 Speaker 1: Would be appreciated. 96 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:56,880 Speaker 2: I don't believe the cancer pation. At least he's a 97 00:04:56,920 --> 00:04:58,840 Speaker 2: real cancer vation because Mandies. 98 00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:01,279 Speaker 1: Was a lot right fat. At least he had real 99 00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:05,280 Speaker 1: cancer so interestingly, so common. By the way, taking cancer, yeah, 100 00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:05,960 Speaker 1: I heard it's a thing. 101 00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:09,520 Speaker 2: Why because you get attention and you get sympathy and 102 00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:10,600 Speaker 2: empathy and people. 103 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:12,039 Speaker 1: Care about you. When you want attention, you. 104 00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:14,520 Speaker 2: Should only fake her pregnancy is seeing your money? No 105 00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:18,440 Speaker 2: faking pregnancy. He's saying, people fake cancer. Yeah, I'm taking pregnancy. 106 00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:19,440 Speaker 2: Get your five hundred out. 107 00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:20,080 Speaker 1: I get it. 108 00:05:20,839 --> 00:05:22,760 Speaker 3: But you are down and out if you gotta fake 109 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:25,320 Speaker 3: what you was when you did that, because you did it, 110 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:25,960 Speaker 3: I needed you. 111 00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:28,760 Speaker 1: I'm not telling that. I ain't telling the girl to fake. 112 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:30,520 Speaker 1: I'm ready to see five dollars. 113 00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:33,799 Speaker 3: I'm telling them a people test around and you already 114 00:05:33,839 --> 00:05:36,000 Speaker 3: know I'm telling them. If you don't open your legs 115 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:37,480 Speaker 3: at all, you better be able to get five hundred 116 00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:37,920 Speaker 3: dollars round. 117 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:39,160 Speaker 1: No, I will say this. 118 00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:42,520 Speaker 2: I was just watching this movie called The Room next 119 00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:45,080 Speaker 2: Door and it's with Julianne Moore, who I think is 120 00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:45,760 Speaker 2: so sexy. 121 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:46,440 Speaker 1: I don't know why. 122 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:49,560 Speaker 2: And then some other white lady tilled you something, but 123 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:51,280 Speaker 2: it was about a woman with cancer, and she was like, 124 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:53,760 Speaker 2: shoot the first scene I had to stop watching the 125 00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:54,320 Speaker 2: movie on the plane. 126 00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:56,680 Speaker 1: You know, planes make you cry. I don't know they do. 127 00:05:57,120 --> 00:05:59,800 Speaker 2: Oh I love crying on the plane. So it starts, 128 00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:03,320 Speaker 2: She's like how are you? But not like how people 129 00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:04,760 Speaker 2: say how are you? Like really how are you? 130 00:06:05,279 --> 00:06:07,599 Speaker 1: She's like, some days of you four it because I'm. 131 00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:10,479 Speaker 2: Alive, and then other days I'm depressed because I've survived, 132 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:12,200 Speaker 2: like I was ready to die. 133 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:12,919 Speaker 1: But I was this. 134 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:17,760 Speaker 2: I was that I really don't know the ebbs and flows. 135 00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:20,560 Speaker 2: And maybe one day we talked to get to talk 136 00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:22,520 Speaker 2: to Crystal, you know, just a little bit. 137 00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:24,240 Speaker 1: I taught her every day. I know. No, I'm saying, 138 00:06:24,279 --> 00:06:27,080 Speaker 1: like just us, as you know listeners of the show, 139 00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:28,360 Speaker 1: she would never come on here. 140 00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:34,760 Speaker 3: Well regardless, yeah, man, they could have another cancer survivor discussing. 141 00:06:34,839 --> 00:06:38,040 Speaker 3: I mean, I think if y'all listen to last year, 142 00:06:38,279 --> 00:06:43,520 Speaker 3: I had three people simultaneously be diagnosed with breast cancer, and. 143 00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:47,719 Speaker 2: I'd like to say all three are in remission. Like 144 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:50,520 Speaker 2: they all beat it. They rang the bell, but they all. 145 00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:54,680 Speaker 3: Lost their hair, double missectomies, had to go through chemo. 146 00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:57,719 Speaker 3: One is now being told she has to go into radiation, 147 00:06:57,839 --> 00:06:58,760 Speaker 3: which she doesn't want to do. 148 00:06:58,839 --> 00:07:00,960 Speaker 1: For they all. We just saw all of us hereditary. 149 00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:03,640 Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know the backstory, but they all 150 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:06,080 Speaker 3: got it. I know, I know my best friend like 151 00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:09,040 Speaker 3: it ran in her family, and then I know. We 152 00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:13,120 Speaker 3: also just saw Anna Luis pass from breast cancer. It's 153 00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:18,560 Speaker 3: something that's happening to women much younger. This guy being 154 00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:21,720 Speaker 3: a remission from prose cancer. Prose cancer gets most of 155 00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:24,480 Speaker 3: our black men, especially fifty plus, which is why they 156 00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:26,800 Speaker 3: say that y'all need to go check your colon's is. 157 00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:29,120 Speaker 3: You know when you reach a certain age. We lost 158 00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:32,480 Speaker 3: combat Jack from cancer. So I mean, these cancers are 159 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:36,800 Speaker 3: running rampant, specifically in our communities, and so I can 160 00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:41,040 Speaker 3: understand as we're aging, that is not something you know 161 00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:41,920 Speaker 3: when you get. 162 00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:45,239 Speaker 1: Married right till death. Do us part through sickness and health. 163 00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:47,320 Speaker 1: I don't know if. 164 00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:53,520 Speaker 3: Any of us have really had the conversations about sticking 165 00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:58,320 Speaker 3: through non marital relationships with someone battling something like that. 166 00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:01,480 Speaker 3: It's a lot mentally, if you are someone who is 167 00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:04,880 Speaker 3: very sexual, you feel guilty for leaving them because of 168 00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:10,040 Speaker 3: their diagnosis or what they're dealing with. And unfortunately, I 169 00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:13,480 Speaker 3: know you said it jokingly if this isn't someone that 170 00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:15,880 Speaker 3: you see yourself long standing staying with. 171 00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:18,679 Speaker 1: To me, I hate the guilt. 172 00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:21,440 Speaker 3: I hate that the guilt eats you up because now 173 00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:23,880 Speaker 3: you're staying with him because you feel like, damn, I'm 174 00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:26,000 Speaker 3: gonna be a shitty person for leaving a cancer patient. 175 00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:28,880 Speaker 3: But all of the things you're dealing with, you're not 176 00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:33,040 Speaker 3: being pleased physically, you're not even receiving the intimacy, and 177 00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:35,480 Speaker 3: he's probably showing up grumpy or more rude, I mean, 178 00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:38,040 Speaker 3: because of how he doesn't feel like himself either. 179 00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:40,680 Speaker 2: So it's like, I think, maybe giving grace to the 180 00:08:40,679 --> 00:08:43,240 Speaker 2: person that's going through something way more traumatic, because maybe 181 00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:45,240 Speaker 2: this isn't the best version of himself, and maybe if 182 00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:46,760 Speaker 2: it happened to you, you'd. 183 00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:48,120 Speaker 1: Want grace as well. He's seven months in. 184 00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:50,320 Speaker 3: Let me ask you, how long do you extend that 185 00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:52,480 Speaker 3: grace because you're a freak as whole who liked to 186 00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:53,120 Speaker 3: get fucked too. 187 00:08:53,679 --> 00:08:56,760 Speaker 1: So they don't have an open relationship. How long are 188 00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:57,920 Speaker 1: you waiting holding out? 189 00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:02,120 Speaker 2: I would set a time frame from when I'm acknowledging 190 00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:04,760 Speaker 2: that they're doing something wrong. Okay, So I'm not gonna 191 00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:08,160 Speaker 2: okay another few months without telling you something's wrong. 192 00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:12,199 Speaker 1: Okay. I would come to the table and say, hey, 193 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:14,480 Speaker 1: you're doing X y Z. Wait, yeah, how are you? 194 00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:16,600 Speaker 1: How are you saying it? I want to know how it's. 195 00:09:16,559 --> 00:09:19,560 Speaker 2: Making You're making it harder for me to enjoy being 196 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,559 Speaker 2: in this relationship, and I want to let you know 197 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:24,199 Speaker 2: some of the flaws I'm seeing and what's really difficult 198 00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:24,440 Speaker 2: for me. 199 00:09:24,559 --> 00:09:26,320 Speaker 3: Now, he responds, this is what I you know, I 200 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,920 Speaker 3: just hold on, but like, let's let's dialogue this out. 201 00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:33,480 Speaker 3: He's like, you know, I just like went through cancer. 202 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:37,120 Speaker 3: Chemo wasn't easy. Like I don't have any control over 203 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:38,160 Speaker 3: how my body is healing. 204 00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:41,440 Speaker 2: I know that you're depressed, I know that you're going 205 00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:43,679 Speaker 2: through X y Z. I'm telling you this is how 206 00:09:43,679 --> 00:09:47,559 Speaker 2: you're treating me. Okay, So I'm going to stick here 207 00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:49,880 Speaker 2: through you with this, but I need you to try 208 00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:52,120 Speaker 2: to take care of yourself better that I can be 209 00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:53,839 Speaker 2: a good partner to you because. 210 00:09:53,559 --> 00:09:56,120 Speaker 1: We can't both drown. Like, yep, how am I going 211 00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:58,640 Speaker 1: to be a support system? Actually? I just had this conversation. 212 00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:01,880 Speaker 2: We were out to do with some friends in Paris, 213 00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:07,360 Speaker 2: and one of them said that when they cheated on 214 00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:12,680 Speaker 2: their partner, they gave their partner a warning before it happened. 215 00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:18,280 Speaker 3: I'm like, whoa, whoa, wait what wait it was specific? 216 00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:21,360 Speaker 3: What is a warning to tell your partner before you cheat? 217 00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:21,600 Speaker 2: Now? 218 00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:29,560 Speaker 1: I thought this was crazy. The person said, look, I 219 00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:33,079 Speaker 1: understand you work late nights. I think his wife was 220 00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:35,439 Speaker 1: a waitress. Okay, he was like. 221 00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:38,720 Speaker 2: But to the point where we're not having sex at 222 00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:41,520 Speaker 2: night because you get home and you're exhausted. Understandable, understandable 223 00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:44,080 Speaker 2: in the day, you need more rest. When do we 224 00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:47,160 Speaker 2: ever prioritize sex at all? I'm letting you know this 225 00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:50,400 Speaker 2: is a need, and right now we barely have sex 226 00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:53,000 Speaker 2: once a week. I need to have sex at least 227 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:55,880 Speaker 2: twice a week. That's my minimum. 228 00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:58,280 Speaker 1: If you don't give it to me, I'm gonna step 229 00:10:58,320 --> 00:10:58,840 Speaker 1: out on you. 230 00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:02,880 Speaker 2: They didn't say that, but he said, we need to 231 00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:05,479 Speaker 2: get back to the drawing board on what this relationship 232 00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:08,040 Speaker 2: looks like if we can at least have sex together. 233 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:11,199 Speaker 1: In this house. That was not a warning. I think 234 00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:12,280 Speaker 1: it's what. 235 00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:16,160 Speaker 3: Because that didn't come with a time frame, bro, Like, 236 00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:18,880 Speaker 3: if you just bring it to me, how long between 237 00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:21,719 Speaker 3: you saying that? So you cheating because if you. 238 00:11:21,679 --> 00:11:26,560 Speaker 2: Come next time? So apparently that time frame, Yeah, what's 239 00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:27,560 Speaker 2: the time fro. 240 00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:31,200 Speaker 1: The next thing happens? Person? This is their job. 241 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:35,640 Speaker 2: Take a month or two later. He made a joke 242 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:39,600 Speaker 2: on the right side, we can fuck now. We got 243 00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:41,079 Speaker 2: time to spend. I don't know if he said we 244 00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:44,839 Speaker 2: can fuck now. She said, that's a shitty thing to 245 00:11:44,840 --> 00:11:47,480 Speaker 2: say to me because I'm depressed. Now, I really don't 246 00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:49,880 Speaker 2: think like it't around you. Apparently it went to ninety 247 00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:55,360 Speaker 2: days he cheated now, I'm not a lot of you. 248 00:11:57,120 --> 00:12:00,280 Speaker 2: To me, that's enough, And I don't think lying is right. 249 00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:01,760 Speaker 1: I think he should have broken up with her. 250 00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:04,760 Speaker 2: But yes, when he told the story, I was like, 251 00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:09,160 Speaker 2: did you really say that? He was like, yeah, I did. 252 00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:11,960 Speaker 1: He's like, so she went. She went from not fucking 253 00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:14,280 Speaker 1: him thirty eight years old. She went from not fucking 254 00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:15,280 Speaker 1: him because of his job. 255 00:12:15,679 --> 00:12:18,160 Speaker 2: No no, no, no, no, wait, because of her job to then 256 00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:21,480 Speaker 2: not fucking him because he depressed, depressed because she lost 257 00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:24,680 Speaker 2: her job, So she might not have just been a 258 00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:26,640 Speaker 2: sexual being. Well you know what this makes me think 259 00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:29,080 Speaker 2: of not having sex because you got cancer. Now you 260 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:31,000 Speaker 2: not haveing sex as you're depressed about the cancer. 261 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:35,560 Speaker 3: Well, no, he's not physically being able to get hard, 262 00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:36,360 Speaker 3: not being. 263 00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:38,040 Speaker 1: Sexual, Y're not, Yes, they're not doing anything. 264 00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:41,120 Speaker 3: Well, well that's I guess the different thing, right if 265 00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:44,400 Speaker 3: they had a healthy sex life. This reminds me of 266 00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:48,199 Speaker 3: like when I was fucking twenty four seven, but also 267 00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:50,319 Speaker 3: when they've been together for two and a half years. 268 00:12:50,679 --> 00:12:53,320 Speaker 3: But also it reminds me of like my relationship with 269 00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:54,760 Speaker 3: twenty four to seven and a lot of people I 270 00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:57,360 Speaker 3: was fucking in my twenties where we had his healthy 271 00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:58,040 Speaker 3: sex lives. 272 00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:00,679 Speaker 1: Zero intimacy for man. 273 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:04,079 Speaker 3: Who can show up really well in the bedroom sexually, 274 00:13:04,679 --> 00:13:07,840 Speaker 3: and maybe you don't even acknowledge the need for intimacy 275 00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:09,520 Speaker 3: because you getting fucked through the mattress. 276 00:13:09,559 --> 00:13:12,319 Speaker 2: U she'says he doesn't hold my hand or kiss me anymore. 277 00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:14,640 Speaker 2: But no, he doesn't do it at all. 278 00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:15,880 Speaker 1: He didn't say anymore. 279 00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:18,960 Speaker 3: So what I'm saying is maybe she didn't get the intimacy. 280 00:13:19,160 --> 00:13:21,760 Speaker 3: But because now she's not getting the sex she's like, 281 00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:24,640 Speaker 3: I would like at least the intimacy I'm. 282 00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:25,480 Speaker 1: Not getting either. 283 00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:29,080 Speaker 2: You ain't gonna be if but he could be a 284 00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:31,960 Speaker 2: man that might not be intimate, like there's a lot 285 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:33,439 Speaker 2: of men that don't know how to show up as 286 00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:36,680 Speaker 2: an intimate lover, like without putting the dick down. 287 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:39,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, the warning, give him the warning about and then 288 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:40,000 Speaker 1: from the warning. 289 00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:42,880 Speaker 3: So the warning is you gotta get your mental health 290 00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:45,319 Speaker 3: together and show me intimacy or else. 291 00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:47,400 Speaker 2: Yes, you have to say the things that you need, hey, 292 00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:50,440 Speaker 2: in this relationship, And I think it's very fair to 293 00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:53,640 Speaker 2: tell someone I just had to pro say cancer, this 294 00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:57,120 Speaker 2: is not about sex, and this conversation I like that 295 00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:59,240 Speaker 2: I need more connection. And the reason you need to 296 00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:01,199 Speaker 2: make sure you say it's not about sex because that's 297 00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:03,319 Speaker 2: the literal thing that he can't do right, and that 298 00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:05,840 Speaker 2: would be fucked up up, that'll be fucked up. 299 00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:07,840 Speaker 1: I agree. That's worse than leaving the cancer patient. By 300 00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:15,240 Speaker 1: the way, I agree. 301 00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:18,520 Speaker 3: I mean I also think that so she's thirty seven, 302 00:14:18,559 --> 00:14:22,320 Speaker 3: he's fifty two. I think that there has to be 303 00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:25,000 Speaker 3: and I know that we talk about dating with intention, 304 00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:26,600 Speaker 3: We talk about being with partners. 305 00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:28,520 Speaker 1: I know a lot of people do. 306 00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:33,080 Speaker 3: Date with the hope of marriage or you know, the 307 00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:36,240 Speaker 3: hierarchy of what's next in this relationship. I think that 308 00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:38,880 Speaker 3: she should sit with over the past two and a 309 00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:42,960 Speaker 3: half years, maybe even leaving out the fact that you're 310 00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:46,600 Speaker 3: holding him down through the cancer thing. Is this person 311 00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:52,440 Speaker 3: someone that you see yourself with because through sickness and health, Like, 312 00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:54,920 Speaker 3: that's the thing that I realized too. Even when you 313 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:58,600 Speaker 3: go into remission from cancer, Oh, maybe there's still checkups, 314 00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:00,480 Speaker 3: there's certain medications I want to take. 315 00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:01,320 Speaker 1: It is a part of. 316 00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:05,480 Speaker 3: Your new life to where if say, something else comes back, like, 317 00:15:05,880 --> 00:15:06,320 Speaker 3: is this. 318 00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:08,280 Speaker 1: Something you'd willing to deal with again? 319 00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:12,080 Speaker 3: Like, to me, you have to acknowledge someone's health condition 320 00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:12,920 Speaker 3: when you were dating that. 321 00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:15,000 Speaker 2: By the way, this is making me think a loud 322 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:17,480 Speaker 2: about my parents. So my mom hasn't had sex in 323 00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:21,560 Speaker 2: a few years obviously because of my dad. And she 324 00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:26,800 Speaker 2: said a few years ago when it happened. I want 325 00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:28,680 Speaker 2: to say he got sick in twenty twenty. 326 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:33,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, because that was my old bab she said, maybe 327 00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:36,280 Speaker 1: like six months out. My mom never had a job. 328 00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:39,800 Speaker 2: My dad always took care of everything, and she started 329 00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:43,240 Speaker 2: working at a store, and this was before I was 330 00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:45,320 Speaker 2: making a lot more money to where she didn't have 331 00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:49,200 Speaker 2: to work. But basically she was like, listen, your dad 332 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:53,360 Speaker 2: took care of me his whole life, and this is 333 00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:56,240 Speaker 2: what I'm meant to do. She's like, it was never 334 00:15:56,280 --> 00:15:58,000 Speaker 2: anything that we didn't have, that we didn't want. He 335 00:15:58,040 --> 00:15:59,800 Speaker 2: was loving to me, like, this is what I meant 336 00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:01,920 Speaker 2: to do. And it was very sweet coming from a 337 00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:04,840 Speaker 2: house wife who frankly, my mom can't figure out any 338 00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:08,600 Speaker 2: handle life for Peter, and she's always had to remind 339 00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:12,200 Speaker 2: herself these things sometimes. And recently I was actually there 340 00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:14,760 Speaker 2: with my partner and my mom were visiting my dad 341 00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:19,200 Speaker 2: and he just got grumpy out of nowhere, and it 342 00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:21,880 Speaker 2: happens like it's a dimension. 343 00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:23,080 Speaker 1: You just get angry, get mad. 344 00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:28,720 Speaker 2: And my mom starts to say to me, this is 345 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,280 Speaker 2: I will do anything for him, And I don't know 346 00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:32,360 Speaker 2: if she's saying out loud for herself, like, you know, 347 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:35,120 Speaker 2: this is a hard life that he's got. Right now, 348 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:36,400 Speaker 2: this is a hard life that I've got, Like I 349 00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:37,560 Speaker 2: have to go visit my husband. 350 00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:39,160 Speaker 1: I still feel young, I still feel like I could 351 00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:39,840 Speaker 1: do things. 352 00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:42,360 Speaker 2: Like I have to be there for him and of 353 00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:44,280 Speaker 2: course the next day, maybe he has a good day. 354 00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:44,560 Speaker 1: Right. 355 00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:49,880 Speaker 2: And I think my parents were together for twenty nine 356 00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:52,800 Speaker 2: years before this happens. Now they're together thirty five years, 357 00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:55,880 Speaker 2: but twenty nine years of their marriage of healthiness. Right, 358 00:16:56,800 --> 00:16:58,760 Speaker 2: That to me is when you can I don't want 359 00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:00,400 Speaker 2: to use the word oh someone, but when you can 360 00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:01,680 Speaker 2: be selfless. 361 00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:07,160 Speaker 3: And a half years and you and you thirty seven girl, 362 00:17:07,240 --> 00:17:11,600 Speaker 3: you you silly ripe, oh half a century? Like I 363 00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:14,520 Speaker 3: think that you you have to decide if this is 364 00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:20,560 Speaker 3: something that you can mentally know that in your mind 365 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:23,920 Speaker 3: you may have to ride this roller coaster again, because 366 00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:26,880 Speaker 3: you're on this roller coaster now with him through being 367 00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:30,480 Speaker 3: not only a cancer survivor, but someone who now has 368 00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:31,800 Speaker 3: to really like And. 369 00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:34,240 Speaker 2: I cannot make care of his own intimacy park because 370 00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:37,520 Speaker 2: something my fan told me recently, like your parents kiss 371 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:40,000 Speaker 2: so much that like it's I've never seen anything like this. 372 00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:43,960 Speaker 2: My dad can't roll the wheelchair. They'd be like career, Like, 373 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:46,920 Speaker 2: you know, the intimacy can still exists in this weird way. 374 00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:50,200 Speaker 2: They'll smack her by like it's just no intimacy can 375 00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:52,080 Speaker 2: show up in so many different ways that they haven't 376 00:17:52,119 --> 00:17:55,800 Speaker 2: had sex in years and like if my mom tells 377 00:17:55,840 --> 00:17:58,440 Speaker 2: this joke. So my dad the last vacation I got 378 00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:01,639 Speaker 2: to put him on a plane for uh, travel on 379 00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:03,400 Speaker 2: someone who's older, it's just just wipes them out. 380 00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:04,040 Speaker 1: I've been able. 381 00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:05,679 Speaker 2: It was great to be able to take them on 382 00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:08,680 Speaker 2: the beach, but it was a lot for him. So 383 00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:11,320 Speaker 2: she told him the next day that they had sex. 384 00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:14,280 Speaker 2: He's like, no, we did it, we really did. So 385 00:18:14,359 --> 00:18:16,440 Speaker 2: I was like, yes, it was so good. You don't remember, 386 00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:19,720 Speaker 2: but my dad was exhausted. So sometimes like you're still 387 00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:22,199 Speaker 2: talking about this name. Remember we were in Mexico and 388 00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:25,600 Speaker 2: Gila left the room and he's like, I think, I 389 00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:27,960 Speaker 2: think I remember Jude. I think I know what they're 390 00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:31,080 Speaker 2: talking about, like because he needs to know that he 391 00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:34,000 Speaker 2: still had that. And it's like when people really love 392 00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:36,119 Speaker 2: and care about you and they're able to put that aside, 393 00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:37,560 Speaker 2: they want to show up in those ways. 394 00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:41,800 Speaker 1: And so for I have a parallet like that. It's sweet, right. 395 00:18:43,359 --> 00:18:46,800 Speaker 2: But to know that, like this part, dude is watching 396 00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:50,000 Speaker 2: you stick with him through you know, through all of that. 397 00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:54,280 Speaker 3: In because you know you ain't have sex for seven months, bitch, 398 00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:58,600 Speaker 3: so do he so you to not have bitch, giry 399 00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:01,320 Speaker 3: you that Gummy did knowing it wasn't gonna get hard, 400 00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:03,359 Speaker 3: like you didn't even try to just give him some 401 00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:07,920 Speaker 3: else of pleasure. And I think that she's acknowledging as well, like, Okay, 402 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:10,479 Speaker 3: I get it, he's going through this thing. The healing 403 00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:14,320 Speaker 3: phase is taking much longer. That's probably what's adding to 404 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:17,679 Speaker 3: him being grumpier and ruder. But I don't think that 405 00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:21,840 Speaker 3: we and when I say we, it's human beings have 406 00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:26,960 Speaker 3: to be subjected to certain treatment, like by people, and. 407 00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:30,479 Speaker 1: So yeah, you only go through something so long being 408 00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:32,040 Speaker 1: because as human. 409 00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:34,160 Speaker 3: Beings like Bro, there has to be something where you 410 00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:37,560 Speaker 3: put yourself first, like consider yourself, what do you want? 411 00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:39,920 Speaker 1: And if this doesn't work for you, if long term 412 00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:41,080 Speaker 1: you feel. 413 00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:43,200 Speaker 3: Like damn, I don't think I could do this again, well, 414 00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:46,320 Speaker 3: the reality is you might have to deal with this again, 415 00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:50,000 Speaker 3: like cancer comes back even after you beat it sometimes, 416 00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:53,520 Speaker 3: like it's a very big possibility. And so I just 417 00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:57,360 Speaker 3: think that with knowing his health status, you're young enough, 418 00:19:57,400 --> 00:20:01,760 Speaker 3: I think, and you're not tied through marriage to consider yourself. 419 00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:05,359 Speaker 3: And it could sound harsh, it could sound fucking really selfish, 420 00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:08,240 Speaker 3: but I think, like Bro, when you young, sometimes you 421 00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:10,840 Speaker 3: gotta choose yourself. Bro, two and a half years you 422 00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:11,880 Speaker 3: had a good ride. 423 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:14,560 Speaker 1: And let's let's talk about it. That nigga fifty two 424 00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:17,000 Speaker 1: and they got no wife. Don't do that. Don't do that. 425 00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:20,040 Speaker 1: Why you did that? Don't do that, ahole. 426 00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:23,040 Speaker 2: No, but I don't like that because look at don't 427 00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:23,320 Speaker 2: do that. 428 00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:27,199 Speaker 1: Becase, No, it don't matter. Don't do that. Don't do that. 429 00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:32,119 Speaker 1: Don't nobody watch. That's terrible. You're literally being the person 430 00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:33,160 Speaker 1: like when I. 431 00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:36,560 Speaker 3: Get fifty with no kids, no husband, ain't nothing wrong 432 00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:38,440 Speaker 3: with me. This is what I chose, all right, he 433 00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:40,880 Speaker 3: might have chosen it. Don't mean you asshole, you don't 434 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:42,560 Speaker 3: mean it. I don't like that because I know that 435 00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:45,040 Speaker 3: we put that same stigma on women who are older, 436 00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:47,720 Speaker 3: who are unwed with no children. I'm not gonna allow 437 00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:50,159 Speaker 3: that narrative to go on any of my platform. Be 438 00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:52,120 Speaker 3: a dick, because I'm not gonna talk with that little dick. 439 00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:53,520 Speaker 3: He could be, he could be. 440 00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:56,919 Speaker 2: But the narrative that you're old without a wife or 441 00:20:56,920 --> 00:20:58,440 Speaker 2: a husband looking for without. 442 00:20:58,320 --> 00:20:59,840 Speaker 1: Kids does not mean that. 443 00:20:59,840 --> 00:21:02,000 Speaker 3: You a fucked up person, or that you suck, or 444 00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:04,479 Speaker 3: that you're unwanted or no one wants you. I just 445 00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:07,520 Speaker 3: hate hearing that narrative because I see it in the comments. 446 00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:10,760 Speaker 1: I see that we're gonna grow old, lonely, like bro. 447 00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:12,879 Speaker 3: This is my decision as a human being, and I 448 00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:15,800 Speaker 3: would never sit here. I'm a hypocrite on a lot 449 00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:17,919 Speaker 3: of things, but I'm not a hypocrite to be on 450 00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:20,800 Speaker 3: some You old, you ain't got no no wife, you 451 00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:23,320 Speaker 3: ain't got no kids. You a shitty ass person because 452 00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:25,320 Speaker 3: people make those decisions for themselves. 453 00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:28,600 Speaker 1: Sorry, clearly got triggered. I'm just not gonna a lot 454 00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:29,520 Speaker 1: active be the narrative. 455 00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:32,399 Speaker 3: But men or women over fifty who aren't married and 456 00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:34,480 Speaker 3: who don't have kids, because I have a friend right 457 00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:38,160 Speaker 3: now who is unmarried with no kids. 458 00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:41,080 Speaker 1: I have friends right now who can't have kids, and. 459 00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:43,040 Speaker 3: I would just hate for the narrative in a couple 460 00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:45,080 Speaker 3: of years because they're all approaching forty for it to 461 00:21:45,119 --> 00:21:49,760 Speaker 3: be the you know, they suck as people, especially knowing 462 00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:52,000 Speaker 3: we're talking about cancer. There's people that can't have kids 463 00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:53,240 Speaker 3: after going through things. 464 00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:56,119 Speaker 1: So, yeah, I know, triggered, but just want to make 465 00:21:56,119 --> 00:21:57,840 Speaker 1: sure I don't. 466 00:21:58,119 --> 00:22:01,320 Speaker 2: I don't believe that not talking about people know children 467 00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:04,520 Speaker 2: or like mishaps or anything like that I'm being facetious, 468 00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:06,200 Speaker 2: and I do think he's probably a dick. 469 00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:09,359 Speaker 1: And why you say that because he's treating her like what. 470 00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:12,360 Speaker 3: He just had cancer and can't get his dick hard, Like, bro, 471 00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:15,719 Speaker 3: you get grumpy, sometimes you get grumpy. 472 00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:16,800 Speaker 1: Sometimes he had. 473 00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:19,320 Speaker 2: Didn't tell her to say with them many I'm not 474 00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:21,240 Speaker 2: saying that because I'm just saying I'm not and he's 475 00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:24,160 Speaker 2: being a dick, well, because he just fucking beat cancer. 476 00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:28,800 Speaker 2: Like as a friend who some days Crystal didn't feel 477 00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:31,240 Speaker 2: the best. Some days another friend was like, why the 478 00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:32,760 Speaker 2: fuck am I here and didn't want to be here? 479 00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:35,440 Speaker 2: Like beating cancer is a blessing you just talked about 480 00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:37,640 Speaker 2: the show. There's gonna be some days that are really hard, 481 00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:39,639 Speaker 2: and sometimes they may not know that they're treating the 482 00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:40,720 Speaker 2: people around them like shit. 483 00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:44,000 Speaker 1: But to me, that's why I leaned into it as 484 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:44,680 Speaker 1: a health thing. 485 00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:47,200 Speaker 3: There's a lot of things that come with people who 486 00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:51,080 Speaker 3: navigate all types of things. So whether it's cancer, whether 487 00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:54,040 Speaker 3: it's mental health issues, whether it's any sort of level 488 00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:57,840 Speaker 3: of diagnosis that requires medication, like you as a person 489 00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:00,840 Speaker 3: can decide whether to stay with them or not. I 490 00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:04,800 Speaker 3: think that being guilted for staying with them, or staying 491 00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:07,960 Speaker 3: with people who don't treat you, well, that's a whole 492 00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:10,119 Speaker 3: nother like way of looking at that. 493 00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:11,240 Speaker 1: I don't think. 494 00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:13,399 Speaker 3: Anyone should put up with it. I don't think you 495 00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:16,560 Speaker 3: should guilt yourself for staying. If it doesn't work for you, 496 00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:19,639 Speaker 3: leave And I think that we have to as people, 497 00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:22,080 Speaker 3: be fine with just leaving people because we don't want 498 00:23:22,119 --> 00:23:25,679 Speaker 3: to deal with their health, not that they're dicks, not 499 00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:28,280 Speaker 3: that they suck as people, because she loved them. 500 00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:29,959 Speaker 1: They have fun up until the cancer. 501 00:23:30,359 --> 00:23:34,480 Speaker 3: So but when people have to deal with like health shit, oh, 502 00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:35,639 Speaker 3: they become different people. 503 00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:37,480 Speaker 1: They become different people. 504 00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:39,960 Speaker 3: So I don't want to put any labels of people 505 00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:43,280 Speaker 3: being shitty as people when people have life changing moments 506 00:23:43,359 --> 00:23:45,800 Speaker 3: like cancer where they beat it where they thought that 507 00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:48,840 Speaker 3: they might be dying, where now it changes their whole bodies, 508 00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:52,240 Speaker 3: where maybe now they have to decide or realize damn it, 509 00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:56,000 Speaker 3: I can't have kids now. Damn I'm having hot flashes now. Damn, 510 00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:58,280 Speaker 3: my breasts aren't even mine anymore. And now I gotta 511 00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:00,280 Speaker 3: like how I look in shirts and maybe I woke 512 00:24:00,359 --> 00:24:01,960 Speaker 3: up this morning and fucking hate that I have these 513 00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:05,280 Speaker 3: fake breasts in like I understand the mental capacity of 514 00:24:05,359 --> 00:24:07,920 Speaker 3: like what it feels like to technically become a whole 515 00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:08,960 Speaker 3: new person after cancer. 516 00:24:09,359 --> 00:24:11,200 Speaker 1: And so for me, I. 517 00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:14,400 Speaker 3: Would say you, as a partner, leave if you don't 518 00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:17,360 Speaker 3: want to be the support system or you don't have 519 00:24:17,359 --> 00:24:20,239 Speaker 3: the patience or capacity to be there for him, and 520 00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:23,080 Speaker 3: be okay with that. I don't think you deserve to 521 00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:26,960 Speaker 3: be dating someone who's grumpy or nasty to you, But 522 00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:31,359 Speaker 3: just know that this is his reality now and he 523 00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:37,720 Speaker 3: may have more grumpier or more grumpier days than not because. 524 00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:39,520 Speaker 1: Of his health. And so look at the health thing. 525 00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:42,520 Speaker 1: I don't think any of us have to sit here. 526 00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:46,879 Speaker 3: And not admit that we don't have the capacity to 527 00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:49,800 Speaker 3: deal with someone's health issues. It's a lot, and so 528 00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:51,560 Speaker 3: you have to sit with that. Do you have the 529 00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:54,640 Speaker 3: capacity to weather through the storm with this man's health? 530 00:24:55,600 --> 00:24:59,199 Speaker 1: Yes or no? And if you don't choose yourself and 531 00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:00,000 Speaker 1: leave him. 532 00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:02,800 Speaker 3: Wish them the best and maybe maintain a friendship, because 533 00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:05,240 Speaker 3: when you break up with someone, you can still be 534 00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:08,440 Speaker 3: friends with them even if he may fill away. 535 00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:15,040 Speaker 1: Go listen to our patre go list. 536 00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:19,520 Speaker 2: You don't anyone that's ever sent us a YGD, Please 537 00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:22,240 Speaker 2: send us in your updates we want everybody gets invested. 538 00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:23,679 Speaker 2: We all want to know what's going on. Our listeners 539 00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:24,720 Speaker 2: want to know what's going on. We want to know 540 00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:26,560 Speaker 2: if you took our advice or if you didn't. It's funny, 541 00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:28,680 Speaker 2: we had an update, but I think it was from 542 00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:30,560 Speaker 2: one of the ones you did, so we ain't read it. 543 00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:32,560 Speaker 1: But there's an update in the email that I don't 544 00:25:32,560 --> 00:25:33,879 Speaker 1: think we. 545 00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:37,200 Speaker 2: We didn't touch that right and at maybe there was 546 00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:39,480 Speaker 2: an update though, and we were like, oh, I don't 547 00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:43,080 Speaker 2: even know what this talk. Anyways, Guys, if you have 548 00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:46,320 Speaker 2: a letter that you want us to read and give you. 549 00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:47,840 Speaker 1: Our advice, and maybe you get to. 550 00:25:48,920 --> 00:25:50,960 Speaker 3: Three different bits of advice because we three different people 551 00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:53,960 Speaker 3: with three different perspectives, go ahead and send us your letter. 552 00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:58,560 Speaker 1: Send it to Decisions pod at Gmail. 553 00:25:58,840 --> 00:26:02,600 Speaker 3: Don't calm And of course, if you're a patron, just 554 00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:05,320 Speaker 3: go ahead and dm us in the messages. I've been 555 00:26:05,359 --> 00:26:07,560 Speaker 3: trying to pull some stuff out of there too. Make 556 00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:10,400 Speaker 3: sure you join us on Patreon. That's patreon dot com 557 00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:12,920 Speaker 3: backslash Horrible Decisions if you want to catch the full 558 00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:17,960 Speaker 3: video of this episode and get more content. Anyways, guys, 559 00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:20,760 Speaker 3: go buy the book No Holds Barred a dual manifesto 560 00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:25,320 Speaker 3: of sexual exploration and power and stay tuned. Emails coming 561 00:26:25,359 --> 00:26:29,360 Speaker 3: announcement on Patreon and our Instagram pages and our pages. 562 00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:31,360 Speaker 3: There's some changes happening to our tour. 563 00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:33,040 Speaker 1: Updated. 564 00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:36,560 Speaker 3: We got some updated dates, we got some updated tea, 565 00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:41,520 Speaker 3: some updated things. Just stay tuned, guys. Also catch us 566 00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:42,240 Speaker 3: an Essence Fest. 567 00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:43,880 Speaker 1: We'll see y'all there. 568 00:26:44,119 --> 00:26:53,080 Speaker 2: Bye bye