1 00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:11,719 Speaker 1: Hi everyone, I'm Rachel Zoe and you're listening to Climbing 2 00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:15,200 Speaker 1: in Heels. This show is all about celebrating the most 3 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:18,560 Speaker 1: extraordinary superwoman who will be sharing their incredible journeys to 4 00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:18,919 Speaker 1: the top. 5 00:00:19,079 --> 00:00:20,000 Speaker 2: All We'll say. 6 00:00:20,880 --> 00:00:24,520 Speaker 1: Today's guest is one of those truly magical people who's 7 00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:28,240 Speaker 1: created the strongest community of lifelong friends around her since 8 00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:32,440 Speaker 1: she was a child, an actual child, so Leigh Moonfries 9 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:38,320 Speaker 1: probably the brightest, sunshiny unicorn person that everyone naturally gravitates to, 10 00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:40,760 Speaker 1: and I'm so very grateful to call her one of 11 00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:44,560 Speaker 1: my closest friends. Not only is she an extraordinary actor 12 00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:47,960 Speaker 1: and mother who famously starred in both Punky Brewster and 13 00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:52,159 Speaker 1: It's reboot, but she's also documented and produced her own documentary, 14 00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:56,480 Speaker 1: Kid ninety, about her experiences and friendships as a child star. 15 00:00:56,960 --> 00:00:59,840 Speaker 1: Her poignant film really highlights the family and community that 16 00:00:59,880 --> 00:01:02,600 Speaker 1: she formed with other young actors in Hollywood, and I 17 00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:05,800 Speaker 1: couldn't be more excited to talk to her about that, 18 00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:08,720 Speaker 1: her life and everything else. Thank you so much for 19 00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:12,440 Speaker 1: joining me on works for us today, My sweet solet. 20 00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:19,080 Speaker 3: I love you so much and I am in tears. 21 00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:23,480 Speaker 3: I have chills all over. I love you. So much, Rachel, 22 00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:27,360 Speaker 3: and you really are one of the brightest forces in 23 00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:31,040 Speaker 3: my life, and you are such an incredible friend, and 24 00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:34,120 Speaker 3: I love the way that we get to love each 25 00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:38,600 Speaker 3: other without judgment and that there's just an unconditional love 26 00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:42,720 Speaker 3: there and I'm so grateful. It really is truly one 27 00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:45,160 Speaker 3: of the friendships that I'm most grateful for my life. 28 00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:45,840 Speaker 3: You're my family. 29 00:01:45,959 --> 00:01:48,000 Speaker 1: I feel the same, And we're going to talk about 30 00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:51,360 Speaker 1: so much of that because I think, well, first of all, 31 00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:54,440 Speaker 1: it's funny. I was thinking about it before we roll 32 00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:57,480 Speaker 1: back to everything. Do you remember when we first met, 33 00:01:57,520 --> 00:01:59,680 Speaker 1: because I can't remember, like I feel like I've. 34 00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:02,760 Speaker 3: Known you my h I remembered, I don't remember. I remember. 35 00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:07,040 Speaker 3: I remember meeting the coolest girl I've ever met in 36 00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:11,840 Speaker 3: New York City at Moomba in this lounge upstairs and 37 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:15,359 Speaker 3: coolest place. I think there was lemon drop shots involved, 38 00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:20,359 Speaker 3: and I I just remembered you just had you were 39 00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:23,360 Speaker 3: so vibrant, and you are so vibrant. You have this 40 00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:27,600 Speaker 3: timelessness to you and really just the coolest person I 41 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:30,440 Speaker 3: had ever seen. And of course Roger, who I just 42 00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:34,760 Speaker 3: it was so beautiful because you guys complimented each other 43 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:37,320 Speaker 3: so well, and yet were so different, and I was like, 44 00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:40,800 Speaker 3: this is this works so beautifully and it's worked all 45 00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:43,600 Speaker 3: these years, and I just I look at you guys, 46 00:02:43,639 --> 00:02:45,720 Speaker 3: and I still see us all, you know, in our 47 00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:47,640 Speaker 3: late teens early twenties. 48 00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:49,040 Speaker 1: God, I remember that. 49 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:49,400 Speaker 2: You know. 50 00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:53,120 Speaker 1: It's funny because Moomba, Like God, if you were allowed 51 00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:56,079 Speaker 1: to have your camera in Mumba in those days, that 52 00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:58,959 Speaker 1: was the place that like if these walls could talk. 53 00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:01,680 Speaker 2: I mean, that summed up much fun. 54 00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:04,239 Speaker 1: I mean I would say Mumba more than any other 55 00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:07,160 Speaker 1: place in New York City really summed up my like 56 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:13,040 Speaker 1: my best decade of my fun young life right completely. 57 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:15,520 Speaker 3: We just had so much fun. 58 00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:16,320 Speaker 2: It was the best. 59 00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:19,000 Speaker 1: It was the best. And what's amazing is like I 60 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:22,960 Speaker 1: have so many like lifelong friends like Jen Meyer and 61 00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:27,480 Speaker 1: I mean, Shoshana, the Ronson's. I mean, we all kind 62 00:03:27,560 --> 00:03:30,160 Speaker 1: of just came together there, which is just. 63 00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:33,080 Speaker 3: I remember, and I remember we'd go and do karaoke 64 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:36,080 Speaker 3: there and like Samantha would be DJ. It was just 65 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:39,400 Speaker 3: it was it was such an incredible time to be 66 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:42,120 Speaker 3: living in New York in the nineties and there was 67 00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:45,520 Speaker 3: just an energy there and a pulse and it was 68 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:48,480 Speaker 3: so great because we just had so much. 69 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:51,200 Speaker 1: Fun, I know, and I feel like the world was 70 00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:53,520 Speaker 1: ours at that point. None of us like had kids 71 00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:54,880 Speaker 1: who were all building our careers. 72 00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:56,360 Speaker 2: We all supported each other. 73 00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:59,960 Speaker 1: Some were in fashion, some were in entertainment, some were 74 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:03,480 Speaker 1: and like Roger was an investment banker, like totally otherworldly 75 00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:07,120 Speaker 1: at that point, like what you know, And I just 76 00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:09,600 Speaker 1: think about that time and I reflect on it so 77 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:12,760 Speaker 1: fondly all the time because I always tell my team 78 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:15,080 Speaker 1: because they know me as being like so serious, such 79 00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:17,080 Speaker 1: a worker, such a mama, such a whatever. And I 80 00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:19,640 Speaker 1: was always a worker, but I was also really fun. 81 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:23,520 Speaker 1: And I think as you get older, you know, I say, like, 82 00:04:23,839 --> 00:04:25,599 Speaker 1: I used to be so much fun. I tell my team, 83 00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:27,320 Speaker 1: I swear to god, I used to be so fun, 84 00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:32,760 Speaker 1: like dancing. By the way, I was telling Dylan, I'm 85 00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:34,159 Speaker 1: like Dylan because she was trying to get me to 86 00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:36,359 Speaker 1: go to Basle, and I was like, I swear I 87 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:38,080 Speaker 1: used to have so much fun. And I still do, 88 00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:39,240 Speaker 1: just much less often. 89 00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:42,320 Speaker 3: I tell Dylan she brings out the teenage me, and she's. 90 00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:45,240 Speaker 2: Like, oh, she does do She's the best. 91 00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:48,080 Speaker 1: Okay, So I want to talk about that, because you know, 92 00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:52,280 Speaker 1: I think one thing about you is that you are 93 00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:54,880 Speaker 1: surrounded by so many extraordinary people, right, And you have 94 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:57,880 Speaker 1: such an incredible family, right, It's such a supportive family. 95 00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:01,840 Speaker 1: But I also feel like you have a real chosen 96 00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:06,480 Speaker 1: family that probably more than anyone. I know that. Like, 97 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:08,360 Speaker 1: you know, I remember when I first started going to 98 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:11,600 Speaker 1: your house for your Christmas Eve, and I remember going, 99 00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:14,960 Speaker 1: who are like, are you actually blood related to solet 100 00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:17,960 Speaker 1: or are you She's like, I'm I'm like her brother. 101 00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:20,960 Speaker 1: I'm like, but wait, real brother or like best friend 102 00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:23,600 Speaker 1: brother that she's known since she was eight. So I 103 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:26,440 Speaker 1: think there's something to be said about you, you know, 104 00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:30,360 Speaker 1: having this huge career since you were essentially a baby. 105 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:33,039 Speaker 1: I mean you were cious and lyrics age. Right, so 106 00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:37,360 Speaker 1: you're seven eight years old, and God did I love 107 00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:40,200 Speaker 1: Punky Braster. And it's funny because I know you so 108 00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:42,360 Speaker 1: much as an adult that I never really say, oh, 109 00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:45,960 Speaker 1: I'm talking to Punky because and then when you brought 110 00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:49,159 Speaker 1: Punky back recently, I was like, now I just see 111 00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:50,719 Speaker 1: your face and I'm like and then I see your 112 00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:52,800 Speaker 1: kids and I'm like that and I see Punky. It's 113 00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:56,560 Speaker 1: so crazy. But I guess what is the biggest difference 114 00:05:57,000 --> 00:06:00,479 Speaker 1: about your chosen family? Versus your actual family that you 115 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:00,960 Speaker 1: would sell. 116 00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:04,960 Speaker 3: You know, it's so incredible. My mom was a single 117 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:08,920 Speaker 3: mom raising us, and my godparents were such a big 118 00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:11,120 Speaker 3: part of our lives, and we were all raised together, 119 00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:15,880 Speaker 3: and our house over the years was was it was 120 00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:19,640 Speaker 3: like a summer camp. And my mom always created such 121 00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:23,960 Speaker 3: a beautiful environment. She's an incredible chef, and so everyone 122 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:28,000 Speaker 3: would always come the holidays, birthdays, and we just had 123 00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:32,159 Speaker 3: this beautiful environment where there was our blood relationships and 124 00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:34,919 Speaker 3: then there was this chosen family from the time you know, 125 00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:37,880 Speaker 3: I was born and and you know, and I do 126 00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:40,279 Speaker 3: think there's you know, there's the families that were born into, 127 00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:42,760 Speaker 3: and there's the families we choose, and it's this beautiful 128 00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:48,440 Speaker 3: blending of them. And so for me, that's the way 129 00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:53,640 Speaker 3: I was always brought up, is that extension of people 130 00:06:53,839 --> 00:06:57,680 Speaker 3: that I love and your tribe, you know, your tribe 131 00:06:57,720 --> 00:06:58,520 Speaker 3: of family. 132 00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:02,839 Speaker 1: Well, it's interesting because you you know, some people I 133 00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:07,200 Speaker 1: just recently had this incredible like relationship therapist on the 134 00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:10,200 Speaker 1: podcast talking about how stressful holidays can be for people 135 00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:10,800 Speaker 1: with family. 136 00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:13,800 Speaker 2: But I feel like when I'm around you with your family. 137 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:17,280 Speaker 1: You don't really, at least not that I've ever noticed 138 00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:21,960 Speaker 1: get that kind of family stress vibe because literally, for 139 00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:23,920 Speaker 1: our listeners, I want you to know I am a 140 00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:27,600 Speaker 1: stressed out host when I host of like parties, I 141 00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:29,840 Speaker 1: can't actually sit and have a drink with my friends 142 00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:34,040 Speaker 1: till I know everyone is there, everyone is fed, everybody's comfortable, 143 00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:37,960 Speaker 1: everybody has everything any best, No, But I'm definitely a high, strong, 144 00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:42,360 Speaker 1: more stressed host. You are like barefoot running around with 145 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:43,400 Speaker 1: like like a. 146 00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:46,680 Speaker 3: Friday at what happened this holiday season when we were 147 00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:51,000 Speaker 3: celebrating and the power went out and we literally moved locations. 148 00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:53,960 Speaker 3: We ended up eating a family dinner on a mattress 149 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:57,120 Speaker 3: and it was the most hysterical thing. And I was 150 00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:59,720 Speaker 3: so you know, I want everything to be perfect, and 151 00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:03,240 Speaker 3: somehow it was so wild bananas, and yet it was 152 00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:06,520 Speaker 3: so beautiful because we're just like, we go with the flow. 153 00:08:07,040 --> 00:08:09,760 Speaker 3: We were all sitting on this mattress instead of a 154 00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:11,440 Speaker 3: dining room table. And see, these are the things you 155 00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:14,720 Speaker 3: don't necessarily know about Rachel Is. She is really like 156 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:17,720 Speaker 3: because people, I think, have this this idea because you're 157 00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:20,720 Speaker 3: so much bigger than life, and your world looks so 158 00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:24,280 Speaker 3: it does it looks so beautifully perfect, and everything you 159 00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:27,680 Speaker 3: create is so gorgeous, and yet you are so og 160 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:30,960 Speaker 3: because you can just go with the flow when things happen, 161 00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:35,120 Speaker 3: You like dive in when disaster strikes. It's like Rachel 162 00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:38,480 Speaker 3: knows how to deal and but that's about you. 163 00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:41,320 Speaker 1: That's because you were hosting. If I was hosting, I 164 00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:45,160 Speaker 1: would have completely unraveled. Roger would have literally like locked 165 00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:46,560 Speaker 1: me in a room because I would have had to 166 00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:48,600 Speaker 1: have been peeled off the ceiling. But I was like 167 00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:50,840 Speaker 1: having this image of you. The power went out in 168 00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:53,160 Speaker 1: Malibu where so Leigh was hosting all of us in 169 00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:55,560 Speaker 1: her family and her close friends, and the power went 170 00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:56,280 Speaker 1: out in Malibu. 171 00:08:56,440 --> 00:08:58,600 Speaker 2: So she has this this great. 172 00:08:58,440 --> 00:09:01,920 Speaker 3: Like book My family is my family Family. We went 173 00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:05,040 Speaker 3: to my family's house. I was like, hey, can I 174 00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:07,839 Speaker 3: get a key to the house? And Rachel's like, why 175 00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:09,360 Speaker 3: are you not just coming over here? I'm like I 176 00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:11,959 Speaker 3: couldn't even think that far because I had this this 177 00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:14,320 Speaker 3: turkey I was trying to cook. I was like, I 178 00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:16,760 Speaker 3: have to get the turkey into the oven, and where's 179 00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:18,160 Speaker 3: the closest oven that I. 180 00:09:19,640 --> 00:09:22,000 Speaker 1: Was dead and I would literally like at that point, 181 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:24,800 Speaker 1: what I would have done, pivot, Let's go out for dinner. 182 00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:28,240 Speaker 1: Let's like let's go get like some Chinese food or something. 183 00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:31,120 Speaker 3: Because I'm running down the boardwalk or running down the 184 00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:33,880 Speaker 3: boardwalk getting blankets to put on the mattress. 185 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:35,760 Speaker 1: I was amazing. 186 00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:37,480 Speaker 3: But I think it goes to that thing of like, 187 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:40,040 Speaker 3: I'll be honest, I think for a lot of years 188 00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:43,640 Speaker 3: I tried to It's funny, It's like I tried to 189 00:09:43,679 --> 00:09:46,200 Speaker 3: fit into the mold of what I heard thought I 190 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:50,200 Speaker 3: was supposed to be in perfect mom, being a perfect Yeah, exactly. 191 00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:53,080 Speaker 3: And I think the whole, the whole journey of this 192 00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:56,600 Speaker 3: documentary really brought me so much more back to the 193 00:09:56,720 --> 00:09:59,000 Speaker 3: roots of who I am and who I've always been. 194 00:09:59,559 --> 00:10:02,720 Speaker 3: And yes, for many years, I wanted to be the 195 00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:04,800 Speaker 3: perfect mom and the perfect wife and all these things. 196 00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:07,480 Speaker 3: And then through the journey of this documentary, my entire 197 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:12,959 Speaker 3: life changed, my relationships, my marriage, my family, and I think, 198 00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:15,880 Speaker 3: you know, five years ago, ten years ago, I would 199 00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:19,240 Speaker 3: have been so stressed and bouncing off the walls. And 200 00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:21,920 Speaker 3: now that I'm back into my sense of self, I'm like, 201 00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:24,640 Speaker 3: all that matters is that we're all together, right like, 202 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,680 Speaker 3: And I just think we put so much pressure on 203 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:31,640 Speaker 3: ourselves and comparing ourselves to others and the world around 204 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:34,800 Speaker 3: us and what other people want to see in us, 205 00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:36,720 Speaker 3: what we think other people want to see in us, 206 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:38,880 Speaker 3: because really we're just mirrors of each other, right, Like 207 00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:41,720 Speaker 3: just all of that. We put all of this pressure 208 00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:43,520 Speaker 3: and then at the end of the day it ended 209 00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:46,520 Speaker 3: up being totally awesome because those of us that were 210 00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:47,800 Speaker 3: meant to be there were meant to be there, and 211 00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:51,080 Speaker 3: it'll definitely go down as like the most memorable holiday ever. 212 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:54,320 Speaker 1: It was amazing, And like, you know, the thing about 213 00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:58,160 Speaker 1: the thing about you Sole that's so amazing, I think, 214 00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:01,840 Speaker 1: is like you do have that open door thing about you. 215 00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:04,160 Speaker 1: You do there is always a seat at the table, 216 00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:07,079 Speaker 1: and I think that's such an important thing. My mother 217 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,719 Speaker 1: has always taught me. My mom is very fancy. You've 218 00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:12,400 Speaker 1: met my mom. She's like very fancy, but at the 219 00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:14,760 Speaker 1: same time she has this real bohemian side to her, 220 00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:17,560 Speaker 1: this very kind of like went to cal Berkeley, was 221 00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:20,920 Speaker 1: an activist, was like all these things and it really 222 00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:26,079 Speaker 1: comes out and my mom's sort of like, there's always 223 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:27,960 Speaker 1: a seat at the table. And I think the thing 224 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,280 Speaker 1: about your holidays is like you don't have a place 225 00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:31,760 Speaker 1: to go, wait, your whole family's there. 226 00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:34,120 Speaker 2: Because I'm like solely I can't come. My whole family's here. 227 00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:36,560 Speaker 1: There's like nine of us, and you're like, bring everybody, 228 00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:39,880 Speaker 1: and you walk in and she's got presents for everybody, 229 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:43,600 Speaker 1: And I think, what's interesting? So, like, to me, you've 230 00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:47,280 Speaker 1: always been this unicorn rave of sunshine, and there isn't 231 00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:48,360 Speaker 1: a person that knows. 232 00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:49,760 Speaker 2: You that would tell you otherwise. 233 00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:53,600 Speaker 1: But I will say that by doing your documentary, what 234 00:11:53,679 --> 00:11:58,160 Speaker 1: I did notice is that you seem more free in 235 00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:01,320 Speaker 1: yourself and I think that's the and I think I 236 00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:04,160 Speaker 1: want to talk about that because I think, you know, 237 00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:09,160 Speaker 1: documenting your life before you even knew that you would 238 00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:12,200 Speaker 1: ever even do anything with it is the coolest thing 239 00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:15,680 Speaker 1: because I think about our kids, right, and we because 240 00:12:15,679 --> 00:12:19,000 Speaker 1: of our digital life and our cameras and our phones, 241 00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:21,440 Speaker 1: we can shoot our kids doing everything so they'll have 242 00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:26,800 Speaker 1: memories of their whole childhood. Right Whereas with our parents, 243 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:30,440 Speaker 1: like my grandfather had like little movies of my mom 244 00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:32,400 Speaker 1: and dad, but they're no sound, they're black and white 245 00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:35,360 Speaker 1: or this and that. But for you, you had the 246 00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:39,439 Speaker 1: kind of amazing foresight to say I want to docum 247 00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:42,440 Speaker 1: out what's happening in real time. And the funny thing 248 00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:44,720 Speaker 1: is you didn't do anything with it until what twenty 249 00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:45,840 Speaker 1: thirty years later? 250 00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:46,559 Speaker 2: Right? 251 00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:49,560 Speaker 1: And I remember how many years did you work on 252 00:12:49,559 --> 00:12:52,240 Speaker 1: this document? Because I remember seeing you night after night 253 00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:56,040 Speaker 1: you would just be like, I'm literally having the most 254 00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:59,679 Speaker 1: out of body cathartic experience and probably better than any 255 00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:01,360 Speaker 1: therapy session you could ever have. 256 00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:06,320 Speaker 3: Right, absolutely, So, I mean it's been this journey my 257 00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:09,319 Speaker 3: entire life. I started keeping a diary from the time 258 00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:13,160 Speaker 3: I was five, an audio recorder at twelve video camera. 259 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:16,840 Speaker 3: Around that time, I mean just I had documented my 260 00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:19,400 Speaker 3: entire life. I think it was like the teen journalist 261 00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:24,400 Speaker 3: in me that was just looking at this incredible, colorful 262 00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:26,559 Speaker 3: world around me and just wanting to soak it all 263 00:13:26,559 --> 00:13:30,320 Speaker 3: in and drink it all in. And so I documented 264 00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:32,960 Speaker 3: my life and then I locked it away for over 265 00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:37,480 Speaker 3: twenty years, and I think so much of that. 266 00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:39,960 Speaker 1: No, wait, why'd you lock it away? I want to 267 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:41,880 Speaker 1: go to that for a second. Were you just like, Okay, 268 00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:47,240 Speaker 1: this is my past, this is my now? Or is 269 00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:50,200 Speaker 1: this time of year stressing you out? Is the added 270 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:53,199 Speaker 1: pressure to shop for gifts and decorate your home, taking 271 00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:56,240 Speaker 1: away the time you previously had to grocery shop and cook. 272 00:13:57,040 --> 00:14:00,200 Speaker 1: Most of us are incredibly pressed for a time I'm 273 00:14:00,320 --> 00:14:04,360 Speaker 1: around the holidays, and that's why I highly recommend trying HelloFresh. 274 00:14:04,679 --> 00:14:09,040 Speaker 1: With HelloFresh, you get fresh, pre portioned ingredients and seasonal 275 00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:13,200 Speaker 1: recipes delivered right to your doorstep skip trips to the 276 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:15,920 Speaker 1: grocery store that I know I like to skip, and 277 00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:19,400 Speaker 1: count on HelloFresh to make home cooking easy, fun, and 278 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:23,720 Speaker 1: very affordable. 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I personally get absolutely swamped around this time 292 00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:08,240 Speaker 1: of year, and any extra help I can get is 293 00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:12,320 Speaker 1: one hundred percent welcome. I'm telling you, HelloFresh is the 294 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:15,920 Speaker 1: help you didn't know you actually needed. I personally feel 295 00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:18,280 Speaker 1: so relieved to know that with HelloFresh, I no longer 296 00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:20,200 Speaker 1: have to stress about what my boys are eating for 297 00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:23,480 Speaker 1: dinner or worry about whether or not they actually like it. 298 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:27,160 Speaker 1: HelloFresh has great options for everyone, and Skyler and Kius 299 00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:31,040 Speaker 1: have really been loving it. 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I think that 340 00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:57,760 Speaker 3: for me, there was there was so much joy and 341 00:17:57,800 --> 00:18:00,720 Speaker 3: so much love and so much beauty in the the tapes, 342 00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:05,399 Speaker 3: and there was also so much pain, of course, and 343 00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:10,679 Speaker 3: I think that on a subconscious level, I wasn't ready 344 00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:13,800 Speaker 3: to deal with that pain. Somewhere inside I must have known. 345 00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:16,000 Speaker 3: And then I had lost some of the closest people 346 00:18:16,040 --> 00:18:19,120 Speaker 3: in my life so young, and so anytime I tried 347 00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:21,000 Speaker 3: to go back and look at the tapes, I was like, 348 00:18:21,359 --> 00:18:23,160 Speaker 3: oh my god, these were my best friends and they're 349 00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:27,200 Speaker 3: no longer with me, and so it was so painful 350 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:29,800 Speaker 3: to look at those tapes. And also I was incredibly 351 00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:33,520 Speaker 3: I've always and I still am incredibly protective of my friends, 352 00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:37,520 Speaker 3: and so many went onto these amazing careers and so 353 00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:40,040 Speaker 3: I think it was this mix. And at the same time, 354 00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:44,000 Speaker 3: I really believe I think that when we're young, there's 355 00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:47,000 Speaker 3: this passion and knowing and what we're meant to be 356 00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:50,240 Speaker 3: and what we want to become in our lives, right, 357 00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:53,080 Speaker 3: and then the programming from the world and the world 358 00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:57,480 Speaker 3: around us, a lot of times we lose that original passion, right. 359 00:18:58,280 --> 00:19:02,560 Speaker 3: And I think that my teen self left this chronological 360 00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:07,119 Speaker 3: blueprint as a way for me to some way find 361 00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:12,159 Speaker 3: my way back home who I really am with the 362 00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:14,920 Speaker 3: life experience I had so totally you know, so at 363 00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:18,720 Speaker 3: some point, so I'll be totally honest, I turned forty 364 00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:21,760 Speaker 3: years old. I was in this beautiful marriage, these four 365 00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:27,240 Speaker 3: incredible kids, and you know, my husband and I were having, 366 00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:30,080 Speaker 3: you know, a debate about something, and I thought to myself, 367 00:19:30,119 --> 00:19:34,840 Speaker 3: you know, I have this incredible family and these beautiful children. 368 00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:40,000 Speaker 3: Who am I separate from my kids and my marriage 369 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,960 Speaker 3: and my husband? Like, who is so lay? And I 370 00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:45,720 Speaker 3: had already been curious about what was on the tapes, 371 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:48,280 Speaker 3: and I had also remembered like that we were so 372 00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:50,840 Speaker 3: joyful back then, and I was like, did things happen 373 00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:52,760 Speaker 3: the way I remembered them? You know what? I mean, 374 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:55,760 Speaker 3: and so I think it was totally subconscious when I 375 00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:57,879 Speaker 3: started the journey and I tried to make it about 376 00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:00,399 Speaker 3: everybody but me, you know, I was like, as you 377 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:03,439 Speaker 3: would privacy, right, of course you would. So so I 378 00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:04,560 Speaker 3: was like, it's going to be about the death of 379 00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:07,439 Speaker 3: privacy and the last Internet you know decade you know, 380 00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:10,200 Speaker 3: or the pre Internet, right, like the last decade before 381 00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:12,639 Speaker 3: the Internet. And then of course as I peeled back 382 00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:15,600 Speaker 3: the onion over the last five years, it became this 383 00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:18,119 Speaker 3: incredibly personal journey. 384 00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:23,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think, I mean, did you feel in 385 00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:28,679 Speaker 1: any way because Punky was such like the America like 386 00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:32,840 Speaker 1: America's sweetheart of a child, right, like role model to 387 00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:36,840 Speaker 1: so many, Right, did you ever feel like, hey, I 388 00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:40,920 Speaker 1: better keep myself really clean because if people find out 389 00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:44,199 Speaker 1: that I like smoked sweet or smoked a cigarette or 390 00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:46,080 Speaker 1: had to drink. Did you ever feel any pressure or 391 00:20:46,119 --> 00:20:48,560 Speaker 1: were you just like, this is my set life now 392 00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:51,240 Speaker 1: I can go be my my so late like my 393 00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:52,000 Speaker 1: my life always. 394 00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:53,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, I always felt like I was in my freedom 395 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:56,080 Speaker 3: and I was able to be myself. Also was before 396 00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:59,480 Speaker 3: Papa Razzi in that way it was pre like everyone's 397 00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:02,560 Speaker 3: life so exposed. So I definitely felt that I could 398 00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:06,480 Speaker 3: live my freedom. I also was aware of certain things 399 00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:08,520 Speaker 3: I think you just are like at that time, you 400 00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:11,560 Speaker 3: know what I mean. But I do believe I think 401 00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:13,800 Speaker 3: we were really able to live our lives like in 402 00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:18,399 Speaker 3: a really free way because we weren't being chased around. 403 00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:21,120 Speaker 3: There wasn't you know, you didn't have like the kind 404 00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:23,919 Speaker 3: of the outlets that you have now and have. 405 00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:26,000 Speaker 1: The fear like if this gets seen. 406 00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:28,240 Speaker 3: No, So we were able to live our lives. And 407 00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:30,920 Speaker 3: I think that's something that made the documentary so special 408 00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:33,320 Speaker 3: is that, you know, I was there documenting my friends 409 00:21:33,320 --> 00:21:35,560 Speaker 3: and stuff, but it wasn't like everybody was on all 410 00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:37,720 Speaker 3: the time and having to be protective. They were just 411 00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:40,320 Speaker 3: being themselves, you know. And I think that's what made 412 00:21:40,359 --> 00:21:43,359 Speaker 3: it so personal. And also, you know, it's interesting because 413 00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:45,560 Speaker 3: I really think of it as like our real life 414 00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:49,679 Speaker 3: eighth grade, because yes, we were living these lives, you know, 415 00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:52,919 Speaker 3: that were in the public eye or you know, doing 416 00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:55,360 Speaker 3: these things that were not orthodox, and yet we were 417 00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:59,160 Speaker 3: having so many of the experiences that every kid has, 418 00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:01,480 Speaker 3: you know what I mean, so many kids have. And 419 00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:04,159 Speaker 3: so my dream was always that people would watch the 420 00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:08,639 Speaker 3: documentary through their own lens and not just through not 421 00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:11,199 Speaker 3: through my lens, you know, and then to hear the 422 00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:14,440 Speaker 3: community and people respond to it in such a beautiful way. 423 00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:17,880 Speaker 3: I'm like, yes, they've been able to like experience their 424 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:22,639 Speaker 3: own journey, sure, and these tapes, the nostalgia is a 425 00:22:23,119 --> 00:22:26,560 Speaker 3: way that they can connect to their own experiences, and 426 00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:28,720 Speaker 3: I love that people have made it their own. That 427 00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:32,920 Speaker 3: for me is the greatest joy as an artist, is 428 00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:37,159 Speaker 3: to be true to ourselves and then for other people 429 00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:41,160 Speaker 3: to be able to live their truths through it. 430 00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:45,159 Speaker 1: I mean, and I think it's funny because you know, 431 00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:50,159 Speaker 1: I think raising kids today versus then, I think social 432 00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:53,800 Speaker 1: media has made it ten x harder for this generation. 433 00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:58,159 Speaker 1: In a way, there's so much smarter younger than we 434 00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:00,960 Speaker 1: ever could have been because of their acts to information 435 00:23:01,119 --> 00:23:03,679 Speaker 1: and knowledge and all of these things that they can do. 436 00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:07,480 Speaker 1: But I think of every day when I see my 437 00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:11,240 Speaker 1: friends with teenagers or I meet teenagers, I'm like, wow, 438 00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:16,400 Speaker 1: I remember those teenyers. It was the height of my insecurity, 439 00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:21,119 Speaker 1: questioning everything, and now like nothing is sacred, nothing's private. 440 00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:24,120 Speaker 1: You don't know if this will end up on whatever 441 00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:28,800 Speaker 1: it is, whatever outlet platform it is, and how terrifying 442 00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:31,400 Speaker 1: that could be. Right, But in another way, it's much 443 00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:33,440 Speaker 1: freer because. 444 00:23:33,520 --> 00:23:34,199 Speaker 3: It's it to me. 445 00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:35,439 Speaker 2: It's I think that. 446 00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:38,320 Speaker 1: I mean, it's like I was talking to your girls 447 00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:42,199 Speaker 1: on Thanksgiving and I was like, God, how incredible this 448 00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:44,399 Speaker 1: is that by the way, this defines me and solayh 449 00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:45,240 Speaker 1: the biggest difference. 450 00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:48,320 Speaker 2: So one of her daughter's, Poet. 451 00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:52,880 Speaker 1: Has her children are just magical. But I've known these 452 00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:56,560 Speaker 1: girls since they were the tiniest little beings. And I 453 00:23:56,760 --> 00:24:01,280 Speaker 1: walked in and Poet had blue hair, and I said, 454 00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:05,399 Speaker 1: I go, Poet, I love it. Is it permanent? And 455 00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:07,719 Speaker 1: she said no, no, no, And I said, did your 456 00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:08,359 Speaker 1: mom scream? 457 00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:09,959 Speaker 2: She goes, what do you mean? She did it for me? 458 00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:13,480 Speaker 3: Okay, well it's so funny because my girlfriend did it. 459 00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:15,840 Speaker 3: And then like we would play with colors and I 460 00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:19,600 Speaker 3: jumped it. It was like it was so funny. It's 461 00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:23,679 Speaker 3: so amazing. I mean, they're really incredible kids. And I 462 00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:26,919 Speaker 3: think to the point about social media, like I do 463 00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:29,959 Speaker 3: think that a really important conversation for us to have 464 00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:32,679 Speaker 3: as families and mothers and fathers, all of that is 465 00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:36,600 Speaker 3: you know, I remember and you see it in the 466 00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:41,240 Speaker 3: documentary that you know I developed really rapidly as a teenager, 467 00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:44,240 Speaker 3: and so I felt this kind of you know, everyone 468 00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:47,120 Speaker 3: would stare at my boobs, and I was developing so quickly, 469 00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:50,399 Speaker 3: and so there was this like sexualization, you know, and 470 00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:53,640 Speaker 3: I was yet I was so young, you know. And 471 00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:58,119 Speaker 3: now I look at social media and how magnetized it is, 472 00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:02,560 Speaker 3: and my heart just like completely goes out to young 473 00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:06,520 Speaker 3: people today because at that time I was dealing with 474 00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:11,440 Speaker 3: so many insecurities within just my inner circle. Now they're 475 00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:15,760 Speaker 3: social media, so it's times a bazillion, and I think 476 00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:20,119 Speaker 3: we haven't even scratched the surface of what that means 477 00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:24,639 Speaker 3: to young people's mental health, yep, to what ends up 478 00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:28,000 Speaker 3: happening to them, how their brains are developing. And I 479 00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:31,360 Speaker 3: think that that's one of the most important conversations that 480 00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:35,200 Speaker 3: we should be having, which is, you know, how is 481 00:25:35,240 --> 00:25:39,600 Speaker 3: this affecting young people today and their mental state of 482 00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:41,240 Speaker 3: you know, there's their state of mind. 483 00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:42,880 Speaker 2: I think that should be your next documentary. 484 00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:45,600 Speaker 1: I mean, I think, well, I think having four children 485 00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:49,560 Speaker 1: gives you a really good like focus group there, and 486 00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:51,919 Speaker 1: I think the fact they have two boys and two girls, I. 487 00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:54,080 Speaker 3: Mean, and my kids are wild, I mean literally, you know, 488 00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:55,879 Speaker 3: my seven year old's like a sponge and he takes 489 00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:58,840 Speaker 3: everything in and it's like he just absorbs everything he 490 00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:00,919 Speaker 3: wants to. And I'll well, a lot of times I 491 00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:02,960 Speaker 3: struggle with like, oh my god, has he been exposed 492 00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:05,080 Speaker 3: to it? But like he'll hear a hip hop song 493 00:26:05,119 --> 00:26:07,640 Speaker 3: and then he remembers every part of it and then 494 00:26:08,119 --> 00:26:10,240 Speaker 3: you know, and then he'll ask me questions about everything, 495 00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:12,639 Speaker 3: and I want to be honest, and at the same time, 496 00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:16,159 Speaker 3: you know, it's so fascinating because each kid is so 497 00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:19,560 Speaker 3: different and what he picks up on yep is probably 498 00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:21,919 Speaker 3: totally different from another kid just hearing it and not 499 00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:23,960 Speaker 3: holding on to certain things, do you know what I mean. 500 00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:27,080 Speaker 3: So it's it's really like this incredible navigation. 501 00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:34,879 Speaker 1: Now, how do you feel now having four kids and 502 00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:38,480 Speaker 1: now being taking on the hardest role, in my opinion, 503 00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:40,600 Speaker 1: in the world, which is being a single mother, a 504 00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:44,000 Speaker 1: single working, working, like an animal mother. 505 00:26:45,359 --> 00:26:48,520 Speaker 3: It is, it is, it is, it is really something. 506 00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:51,240 Speaker 1: I mean, do you have such a new found respect 507 00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:53,440 Speaker 1: for your mother? Not that you didn't always, but. 508 00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:56,640 Speaker 3: Oh my god, I have. I have so much respect 509 00:26:56,680 --> 00:27:02,840 Speaker 3: for every single parent, single grandmother, a single uncle, I mean, 510 00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:07,560 Speaker 3: just anything, you know, And I really do lean into 511 00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:11,640 Speaker 3: the people around me, the extended family, the chosen family, 512 00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:14,440 Speaker 3: you know, the angels that are in my life that 513 00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:19,040 Speaker 3: helped me because I need them, you know, I need 514 00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:23,520 Speaker 3: that sense of leaning in and not being afraid. I 515 00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:27,440 Speaker 3: think so often we don't ask what I mean, we 516 00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:30,280 Speaker 3: want to, we want yeah, we want to like take 517 00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:33,720 Speaker 3: it all on, and yet leaning into that and that 518 00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:37,359 Speaker 3: their their child their their childhoods are very different and 519 00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:41,160 Speaker 3: also the sacrifices they've made for me as an artist, 520 00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:46,280 Speaker 3: I realize profoundly in my search for self. Yea uh, 521 00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:50,080 Speaker 3: and I just I'm doing the best I can and 522 00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:53,520 Speaker 3: I want them more than anything to feel loved, to 523 00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:57,120 Speaker 3: know that us. I call it a transformation. I don't 524 00:27:57,160 --> 00:27:59,200 Speaker 3: even I can't even think of it as a divorce, 525 00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:02,960 Speaker 3: as separation, because after spending twenty three years with someone, 526 00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:06,800 Speaker 3: I'm like, this is more of a transformation. And ultimately, 527 00:28:07,040 --> 00:28:10,439 Speaker 3: you know, people change and they grow in different ways. 528 00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:15,680 Speaker 3: And I love him so much and really just trying 529 00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:17,960 Speaker 3: to be there for my kids and be the best 530 00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:21,600 Speaker 3: mom that I can be, and also realizing that this 531 00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:25,280 Speaker 3: has to be a really surreal experience because it's almost 532 00:28:25,359 --> 00:28:28,240 Speaker 3: like as my kids are coming of age, I'm coming 533 00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:31,760 Speaker 3: of age again and rediscovering my sense of self and 534 00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:34,600 Speaker 3: so it's this wild thing where I want to be 535 00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:40,760 Speaker 3: respectful for them. And also I'm constantly on this search 536 00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:45,240 Speaker 3: of self discovery, you know I, And so there's so 537 00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:46,280 Speaker 3: much wrapped up in it. 538 00:28:46,360 --> 00:28:46,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, of course. 539 00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:48,840 Speaker 3: And then I also I've had this thought a lot 540 00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:52,880 Speaker 3: around what you know about the kind of words selfish, right, 541 00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:56,200 Speaker 3: which is that I feel like so much of my 542 00:28:56,280 --> 00:29:00,880 Speaker 3: life I've been committed towards wanting to give everyone else, 543 00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:04,760 Speaker 3: and recently, more recently, I've really had to also look 544 00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:10,920 Speaker 3: at what it means to think to myself and that 545 00:29:11,160 --> 00:29:15,040 Speaker 3: self love. And I believe Carl Jung said something to 546 00:29:15,040 --> 00:29:17,280 Speaker 3: the effect of like there's and I don't want to 547 00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:19,560 Speaker 3: get this wrong, but there's no greater disservice than like 548 00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:22,440 Speaker 3: the life of the unlived parent, something along those lines, 549 00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:24,600 Speaker 3: And I probably didn't say it a thousand percent correctly, 550 00:29:24,840 --> 00:29:26,880 Speaker 3: but the point being that I need to set an 551 00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:30,000 Speaker 3: example for them, and we can be mothers, and we 552 00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:32,520 Speaker 3: can be fathers, and we can be all of these things. 553 00:29:33,240 --> 00:29:37,000 Speaker 3: I think oftentimes we put ourselves last, you know, where 554 00:29:37,080 --> 00:29:40,000 Speaker 3: we think about ourselves last. And I think that there 555 00:29:40,120 --> 00:29:47,280 Speaker 3: is nothing wrong with really going within and working on 556 00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:51,920 Speaker 3: ourselves and taking that time, because they're going to look 557 00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:54,920 Speaker 3: at that and their lives. So much of it will 558 00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:58,240 Speaker 3: be based off of how how did my parents live? 559 00:29:58,280 --> 00:30:00,440 Speaker 3: And I know a lot of people that stay in 560 00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:02,600 Speaker 3: relationships that say we're going to do it for the. 561 00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:04,440 Speaker 2: Kids, and I advise. 562 00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:08,680 Speaker 3: And I'm like, okay, but if you're not connecting in 563 00:30:08,760 --> 00:30:11,520 Speaker 3: that way and they're not seeing that level. And I'm 564 00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:15,840 Speaker 3: not one to judge everybody to each person, but for me, 565 00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:19,120 Speaker 3: I want to, like, I want to live a life 566 00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:23,520 Speaker 3: of fulfillment where they see me and my joy and 567 00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:26,000 Speaker 3: they also see me in my pain. I'm super honest 568 00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:28,080 Speaker 3: with them, and there's moments when I break down, there's 569 00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:30,479 Speaker 3: moments when I'm crying, and there's moments that I'm you know, 570 00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:34,200 Speaker 3: so many of them. But then they go out into 571 00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:37,440 Speaker 3: the world and the world can be really painful at times, 572 00:30:38,080 --> 00:30:43,640 Speaker 3: and at least they are a part of really reality 573 00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:46,719 Speaker 3: understanding that journey, you know what I mean. And so anyway, 574 00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:48,960 Speaker 3: there's a lot in it. No no what I'm saying, 575 00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:50,320 Speaker 3: I don't know if I'm articulate, if. 576 00:30:50,240 --> 00:30:54,520 Speaker 1: You're actually articulating it more than perfectly. And I'm going 577 00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:59,680 Speaker 1: to tell you when the seasons change, I prefer to 578 00:30:59,720 --> 00:31:03,280 Speaker 1: make a few adjustments to my wardrobe and routine. Thanks 579 00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:06,040 Speaker 1: to Native's new seasonal sense, I'm able to switch up 580 00:31:06,040 --> 00:31:09,480 Speaker 1: my routine and find my new favorites. Yes, I'm talking 581 00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:13,920 Speaker 1: about their deodorant. Native Deodorant is formulated with ingredients you 582 00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:17,200 Speaker 1: have actually heard of, like coconut oil and shade butter, 583 00:31:17,320 --> 00:31:21,960 Speaker 1: two of my personal favorites. Native Deodorant never uses aluminum, 584 00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:26,640 Speaker 1: paramans or sulfates, but still keeps you smelling amazingly fresh 585 00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:30,840 Speaker 1: all day long. With classics and rotating seasonals. Native has 586 00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:34,800 Speaker 1: a deodorant scent for everyone, including their new holiday inspired 587 00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:39,680 Speaker 1: collection Candy Cane, Sugar Cookie and Fresh Missletoe. Native is 588 00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:42,200 Speaker 1: not just good for you, it's good for the planet. 589 00:31:42,760 --> 00:31:46,320 Speaker 1: They have a deodorant made of one hundred percent paperboard packaging, 590 00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:50,880 Speaker 1: They're vegan and never tested on animals. I'm certainly not 591 00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:54,760 Speaker 1: alone in loving Native. They have over fifteen thousand five 592 00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:57,080 Speaker 1: star reviews, and I know you're going to love them too. 593 00:31:57,800 --> 00:32:01,600 Speaker 1: I personally love the fresh misletoecent. It's holiday themed with 594 00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:04,959 Speaker 1: a bright freshness that's not too sweet because I personally 595 00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:07,880 Speaker 1: prefer subtle scent, and this one is it. The fresh 596 00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:11,400 Speaker 1: mistletoe gives me an herbaceous, piny scent that smells clean 597 00:32:11,520 --> 00:32:14,920 Speaker 1: in the most natural way, and Roger loves it too. 598 00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:18,320 Speaker 1: Keep the sense of the season with you. Keep the 599 00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:21,040 Speaker 1: sense of the season with you with Natives limited time 600 00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:24,920 Speaker 1: holiday scented deodorants. 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That's away travel dot com slash zo and 625 00:33:56,760 --> 00:34:02,760 Speaker 1: give the gift that's on everyone's mind. Roger and I 626 00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:07,480 Speaker 1: started this podcast because people were constantly fascinated by how 627 00:34:07,520 --> 00:34:10,360 Speaker 1: we are together for thirty years, how we work together, 628 00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:12,440 Speaker 1: how we parent together, how we do all these things. 629 00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:15,120 Speaker 1: And it was funny because I was I had someone 630 00:34:15,160 --> 00:34:17,200 Speaker 1: on the podcast recently. We're like, well, you have the 631 00:34:17,320 --> 00:34:19,880 Speaker 1: perfect relationship, Like you guys don't fight. I was like, 632 00:34:20,080 --> 00:34:23,280 Speaker 1: are you okay? I want to slug him at least 633 00:34:23,280 --> 00:34:25,839 Speaker 1: once a day with something, and then ten minutes later 634 00:34:25,880 --> 00:34:27,160 Speaker 1: it's like, what do you want for dinner? 635 00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:29,680 Speaker 2: But it's still listen. 636 00:34:30,040 --> 00:34:32,960 Speaker 1: You know, a friend of mine once said, who's in 637 00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:34,239 Speaker 1: a very happy marriage. 638 00:34:34,400 --> 00:34:36,720 Speaker 2: They said, you know, I just we went. 639 00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:38,720 Speaker 1: Away together without the kids because I had to remember 640 00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:42,200 Speaker 1: why I like him, And she said, and I said, 641 00:34:42,640 --> 00:34:44,040 Speaker 1: I did this like head tilt and it was right 642 00:34:44,080 --> 00:34:45,600 Speaker 1: after I had Sky And I'll never forget it, you 643 00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:47,680 Speaker 1: know how when someone says something so flippantly but it 644 00:34:47,719 --> 00:34:52,359 Speaker 1: stays with you. And she said, I always love him, 645 00:34:52,760 --> 00:34:55,920 Speaker 1: but I don't always like him. And I think what 646 00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:59,160 Speaker 1: happens in marriage is you always love each other, but 647 00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:01,319 Speaker 1: you don't always like each other, you know what I mean. 648 00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:03,680 Speaker 1: And it's like it's like when you say something to 649 00:35:03,719 --> 00:35:06,040 Speaker 1: your kids like and they go, oh, you hate me. 650 00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:08,840 Speaker 1: I could never hate you. I love you, I don't 651 00:35:08,960 --> 00:35:12,000 Speaker 1: like your behavior. But I think as a single mother, 652 00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:15,040 Speaker 1: I think it goes back to this big circle of 653 00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:17,399 Speaker 1: you with your mother, where it's like you always had 654 00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:20,479 Speaker 1: this extended family around you because you had a single mother. 655 00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:22,440 Speaker 1: And I think when you have a single mother the 656 00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:25,239 Speaker 1: same way, if you're an only child, you lean on 657 00:35:25,280 --> 00:35:28,720 Speaker 1: your friends and your chosen family that much more because 658 00:35:28,719 --> 00:35:33,960 Speaker 1: you need people. 659 00:35:30,120 --> 00:35:36,160 Speaker 3: A thousand percent. And and also one of the things 660 00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:38,600 Speaker 3: that I think is one of the biggest like learning 661 00:35:38,840 --> 00:35:42,400 Speaker 3: processes in this is also that people are going to 662 00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:45,279 Speaker 3: have their own concepts or judgments. I mean, I can't 663 00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:46,400 Speaker 3: tell you. How many people are like, are you just 664 00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:48,560 Speaker 3: having you know? Is this a midlife kind of like 665 00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:52,279 Speaker 3: people call it like a midlife crisis right when these day, 666 00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:54,600 Speaker 3: I don't look at it that way. I think we 667 00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:57,920 Speaker 3: continue to come of age over and over again as 668 00:35:57,960 --> 00:36:01,480 Speaker 3: long as we are in our expence, I agree, and 669 00:36:01,760 --> 00:36:05,439 Speaker 3: in our expansion that may mean that certain roads take 670 00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:09,640 Speaker 3: us in different directions. Right like after this journey of 671 00:36:09,680 --> 00:36:13,759 Speaker 3: the documentary, I can never be who I was ten 672 00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:17,640 Speaker 3: years ago or eight years ago. I had unlocked things 673 00:36:17,680 --> 00:36:21,600 Speaker 3: that I didn't even know were suppressed so deep inside 674 00:36:21,600 --> 00:36:23,919 Speaker 3: of me, so much pain that I had to heal through, 675 00:36:23,960 --> 00:36:27,600 Speaker 3: and I would never want to go back. And yet 676 00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:29,680 Speaker 3: I have so much love for the person that I 677 00:36:29,719 --> 00:36:32,160 Speaker 3: was I have. I watch videos of the kids and 678 00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:33,759 Speaker 3: I and I'm like, oh my god. I said to 679 00:36:33,800 --> 00:36:35,640 Speaker 3: Poet the other day and I started crying. I said, 680 00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:37,959 Speaker 3: I'm so hot and I'll get emotional about I said, 681 00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:41,840 Speaker 3: I'm so happy that I was able to give you 682 00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:44,120 Speaker 3: what you needed the first half of your life so 683 00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:47,400 Speaker 3: that you can be there to help support me in 684 00:36:47,440 --> 00:36:51,000 Speaker 3: the second half. Because I realize I'm not the same 685 00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:55,160 Speaker 3: mom today that I was ten years ago. 686 00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:57,200 Speaker 1: But do you know what I mean, Yeah, a different 687 00:36:57,239 --> 00:37:00,719 Speaker 1: mom now, yeah, and yet and yet I appreciate it. 688 00:37:00,719 --> 00:37:04,080 Speaker 4: It's just different. It just looks different. And so I 689 00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:06,400 Speaker 4: was always so afraid of change my whole life. I 690 00:37:06,440 --> 00:37:08,560 Speaker 4: was was one of my biggest fears. I was so 691 00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:14,160 Speaker 4: terrified of change. And so to jump into this abyss 692 00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:18,880 Speaker 4: of the unknown and to overcome that fear has been 693 00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:22,120 Speaker 4: one of. 694 00:37:21,040 --> 00:37:24,200 Speaker 3: The greatest joys in my life. It has been one 695 00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:27,440 Speaker 3: of the most painful experiences, and yet it has led 696 00:37:27,480 --> 00:37:31,360 Speaker 3: to like my own personal expansion, And I truly believe 697 00:37:31,920 --> 00:37:37,520 Speaker 3: my children's expansion because they're looking at you know, wow, okay, 698 00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:41,719 Speaker 3: like life has is a roller coaster and there's beautiful 699 00:37:41,719 --> 00:37:44,239 Speaker 3: moments and there's painful moments, but it's real, you know 700 00:37:44,239 --> 00:37:44,719 Speaker 3: what I mean, and. 701 00:37:45,239 --> 00:37:48,720 Speaker 1: Your person I actually think that that the big problem 702 00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:53,719 Speaker 1: comes when everything is hidden from your children and then 703 00:37:53,719 --> 00:37:57,640 Speaker 1: they go into real life and they're like, what, I'm 704 00:37:57,640 --> 00:37:58,440 Speaker 1: not prepared for that? 705 00:37:58,640 --> 00:38:01,120 Speaker 2: What conflict? What like? 706 00:38:01,200 --> 00:38:04,440 Speaker 1: Not everything's perfect? Not everything, Not every problem is solved 707 00:38:04,440 --> 00:38:08,399 Speaker 1: for me. My parents can actually cry, my parents can 708 00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:12,160 Speaker 1: feel pain, you know. And I do think that that's 709 00:38:12,160 --> 00:38:15,000 Speaker 1: the difference in this generation. I think for us, we 710 00:38:15,080 --> 00:38:18,160 Speaker 1: are different parents than our parents were, and as magical 711 00:38:18,200 --> 00:38:21,040 Speaker 1: and incredible as my parents were and are still to 712 00:38:21,080 --> 00:38:26,280 Speaker 1: this day. I think we learn. I think we're honest 713 00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:29,879 Speaker 1: with our kids now, more honest about who we are, 714 00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:34,839 Speaker 1: and I think it's really important. And I do think 715 00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:37,360 Speaker 1: that there is this conversation now and I'm hearing it 716 00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:41,319 Speaker 1: more and more about there's no more important relationship than 717 00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:46,399 Speaker 1: the one with yourself, and very much like you, it's 718 00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:48,239 Speaker 1: always about everyone else. So it's about my kids, so 719 00:38:48,280 --> 00:38:50,319 Speaker 1: it's about Roger. It's always about this, So it's about that. 720 00:38:50,840 --> 00:38:54,360 Speaker 1: And I think when you actually think about am I happy? 721 00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:56,480 Speaker 1: What is it that I need to be happy? Because 722 00:38:56,480 --> 00:38:59,600 Speaker 1: I ultimately, if you don't have that relationship with yourself 723 00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:02,759 Speaker 1: and that honest truth with yourself, that person you're putting 724 00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:05,799 Speaker 1: out every day is this like fake, manufactured person and 725 00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:09,960 Speaker 1: your numb and eventually I think that that just explodes. 726 00:39:10,480 --> 00:39:14,600 Speaker 1: And I think to your point, I think you having 727 00:39:14,640 --> 00:39:18,080 Speaker 1: these four magical kids, and I think you working as 728 00:39:18,120 --> 00:39:18,879 Speaker 1: hard as you do. 729 00:39:19,280 --> 00:39:20,040 Speaker 2: I sat there. 730 00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:22,960 Speaker 1: For me, the biggest takeaway from Thanksgiving was sitting with 731 00:39:23,120 --> 00:39:30,400 Speaker 1: Poet and Jagger as these like young, confident, independent, cool 732 00:39:30,440 --> 00:39:35,160 Speaker 1: as hell women, like young women. It was surreal for 733 00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:38,920 Speaker 1: me because you know, when they're these cute little girls, 734 00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:41,320 Speaker 1: it just always come over. And you know, the boys 735 00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:43,799 Speaker 1: are the boys. They're still so little, so they're just 736 00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:47,200 Speaker 1: like the wild children of so Leae that are these 737 00:39:47,239 --> 00:39:51,120 Speaker 1: magical little beings and they're spirited and story looks like 738 00:39:51,200 --> 00:39:54,799 Speaker 1: you running around with banana curls and like, you know, 739 00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:58,680 Speaker 1: I just talking to the girls. For me was like, 740 00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:02,160 Speaker 1: huh so if I had a girl, this is what 741 00:40:02,440 --> 00:40:05,680 Speaker 1: could happen, where like you talk to them like they're 742 00:40:05,719 --> 00:40:08,040 Speaker 1: your best friends, Like I was talking to them as 743 00:40:08,120 --> 00:40:12,080 Speaker 1: if they were our age, you know. And by the way, 744 00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:15,120 Speaker 1: so they like what you've been through, what they've been around, 745 00:40:15,520 --> 00:40:19,120 Speaker 1: moving schools, just this that, and they're just like they're 746 00:40:19,160 --> 00:40:22,400 Speaker 1: just rolling. They're just free spirited and rolling. And to me, 747 00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:26,320 Speaker 1: I walked away with like, wow, so this is what happens. 748 00:40:26,360 --> 00:40:29,920 Speaker 1: Like you have a free spirited mom that just lives 749 00:40:29,960 --> 00:40:32,600 Speaker 1: this very honest life, and this is what can happen. 750 00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:35,880 Speaker 1: These magical children come out and come away from a 751 00:40:35,920 --> 00:40:39,600 Speaker 1: situation that you know can be challenging. But I think 752 00:40:40,239 --> 00:40:43,080 Speaker 1: I just think the way you handled all of everything 753 00:40:43,800 --> 00:40:47,080 Speaker 1: that's happened in your marriage, that's happened over time, I 754 00:40:47,120 --> 00:40:49,960 Speaker 1: think has been and I'm sure there's so many moments 755 00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:54,160 Speaker 1: of tears you know that happen. I'm sure, But you're human, 756 00:40:54,320 --> 00:40:59,280 Speaker 1: and I think that it is okay to recognize I'm different. 757 00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:02,120 Speaker 1: I'm now honest with myself. We're not connected in the 758 00:41:02,160 --> 00:41:06,799 Speaker 1: same way. We're like, that's okay, right, because Jason could 759 00:41:06,800 --> 00:41:09,200 Speaker 1: be a great dad and you could be this incredible 760 00:41:09,280 --> 00:41:12,200 Speaker 1: mom and and by the way, to do it together. 761 00:41:12,600 --> 00:41:15,719 Speaker 3: That's the craziest part, is like it's not for a 762 00:41:15,840 --> 00:41:17,799 Speaker 3: lack of love, do you know what I mean? And 763 00:41:17,800 --> 00:41:20,840 Speaker 3: that's what's so wild. You know what I mean is 764 00:41:20,840 --> 00:41:24,520 Speaker 3: that there's so much love there, and I think that 765 00:41:24,840 --> 00:41:27,960 Speaker 3: so often makes it even harder. Right, It's like when 766 00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:31,200 Speaker 3: you when you when there's so much love and you go, wow. 767 00:41:31,239 --> 00:41:34,200 Speaker 3: But we're just so different now, you know, and yet 768 00:41:34,719 --> 00:41:38,040 Speaker 3: by the way, way more how we were when we 769 00:41:38,080 --> 00:41:41,799 Speaker 3: first met. Funny, it's just like it's so fascinating. So 770 00:41:41,840 --> 00:41:44,160 Speaker 3: there's that, and you know it's interesting. I love what 771 00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:46,680 Speaker 3: you said, you know about us looking at ourselves. My 772 00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:49,879 Speaker 3: godmom always says, she says, we come in on our 773 00:41:49,920 --> 00:41:53,520 Speaker 3: own and we go out on our own, right, And 774 00:41:53,560 --> 00:41:57,320 Speaker 3: so who is that person that we come in as 775 00:41:57,360 --> 00:42:00,360 Speaker 3: and we go out as. And and my dear friend 776 00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:03,279 Speaker 3: recently said something so beautiful as she is also going 777 00:42:03,320 --> 00:42:06,360 Speaker 3: through a transformation, and she said, I don't know that 778 00:42:06,400 --> 00:42:10,640 Speaker 3: I really knew who you know was at that time. 779 00:42:10,719 --> 00:42:15,120 Speaker 3: And so it is this this this discovery which is incredible, 780 00:42:15,360 --> 00:42:23,879 Speaker 3: and this rediscovery and also feeling that feeling. I had 781 00:42:23,920 --> 00:42:26,920 Speaker 3: this thing where I had such a spark in me 782 00:42:27,040 --> 00:42:30,040 Speaker 3: as a teenager, you know, and I think for a 783 00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:35,520 Speaker 3: lot of years I associated that spark with youth spark. 784 00:42:35,760 --> 00:42:38,040 Speaker 1: Like the whole life totally. 785 00:42:38,719 --> 00:42:43,000 Speaker 3: And through the process of this healing and this Catharsis 786 00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:47,480 Speaker 3: of the documentary, I started to feel that spark again 787 00:42:48,480 --> 00:42:53,719 Speaker 3: and I realized that is part of being in in 788 00:42:53,719 --> 00:43:00,520 Speaker 3: in our purpose, in our spiritual purpose, our creative purpose, 789 00:43:01,160 --> 00:43:08,320 Speaker 3: just feeling that aliveness. And and and Sean, who has 790 00:43:08,360 --> 00:43:10,680 Speaker 3: you know, is truly one of the greatest influences of 791 00:43:10,719 --> 00:43:12,800 Speaker 3: myself in my life. 792 00:43:12,880 --> 00:43:15,279 Speaker 1: When she said Sean, she means champainn Just so you know, 793 00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:18,120 Speaker 1: I think I think like baby sat her or something, 794 00:43:18,200 --> 00:43:22,640 Speaker 1: and they were, yes, he was. 795 00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:24,640 Speaker 3: He was said, I have known him since I was 796 00:43:24,680 --> 00:43:27,040 Speaker 3: about eight years old, and my dad would take me 797 00:43:27,080 --> 00:43:29,400 Speaker 3: to see his play, you know, and all that, and 798 00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:31,880 Speaker 3: he said to thy own self. And I think so 799 00:43:32,080 --> 00:43:36,120 Speaker 3: much of these years have been you know, to really 800 00:43:36,800 --> 00:43:37,640 Speaker 3: to thy own self. 801 00:43:37,760 --> 00:43:39,920 Speaker 1: And we have guilt about that, right, So, like we 802 00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:43,440 Speaker 1: have guilt. If I there's something everyone goes, what do 803 00:43:43,440 --> 00:43:46,440 Speaker 1: you do for self care? What is self care? Are 804 00:43:46,440 --> 00:43:46,960 Speaker 1: you okay? 805 00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:47,759 Speaker 2: Like what? 806 00:43:48,440 --> 00:43:51,320 Speaker 1: But it's funny because I actually feel in those moments 807 00:43:51,760 --> 00:43:54,840 Speaker 1: where I'm like, okay, I'm getting a manicure pattycare right 808 00:43:54,920 --> 00:43:57,320 Speaker 1: and like a neck massage, and the whole process takes 809 00:43:57,320 --> 00:43:59,440 Speaker 1: like an hour and a half start to finish, right, 810 00:44:00,480 --> 00:44:02,960 Speaker 1: I have to be doing other things in that time, 811 00:44:03,239 --> 00:44:07,600 Speaker 1: or I feel guilty, guilty what you doing? You don't have 812 00:44:07,719 --> 00:44:10,399 Speaker 1: time for this? Are you okay? The kids need you, 813 00:44:10,400 --> 00:44:11,600 Speaker 1: your team needs you. 814 00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:11,759 Speaker 2: Get on. 815 00:44:13,239 --> 00:44:15,720 Speaker 1: And I don't know that that like that's not okay. 816 00:44:15,760 --> 00:44:17,960 Speaker 1: And that's why whenever people ask me that in an interview, 817 00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:21,680 Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm not proud of this. I'm terrible at 818 00:44:21,719 --> 00:44:24,080 Speaker 1: the self love and self care and that for me, 819 00:44:24,400 --> 00:44:29,759 Speaker 1: like I feel like my my thing, my wish that 820 00:44:29,920 --> 00:44:31,960 Speaker 1: I would I would like to work on over the 821 00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:35,560 Speaker 1: next like five years is like trying to not feel 822 00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:37,080 Speaker 1: guilty about thinking. 823 00:44:37,360 --> 00:44:40,480 Speaker 3: We can meditate on it. Do you a little post it? 824 00:44:40,480 --> 00:44:44,600 Speaker 3: It's your's to meditate. 825 00:44:44,640 --> 00:44:46,759 Speaker 1: Do you know what I do? I start cracking up. 826 00:44:47,120 --> 00:44:50,480 Speaker 3: I just keep I have so many good things you 827 00:44:50,520 --> 00:44:54,360 Speaker 3: can listen to. I think it's part of us manifesting, 828 00:44:54,560 --> 00:44:57,960 Speaker 3: you know, the love within us and around us, because 829 00:44:58,239 --> 00:45:00,640 Speaker 3: I think so often also, you know, I know, at 830 00:45:00,719 --> 00:45:03,120 Speaker 3: least for me as a teenager and watching the tapes, 831 00:45:03,160 --> 00:45:05,120 Speaker 3: I was so dependent on the love around me and 832 00:45:05,520 --> 00:45:09,799 Speaker 3: that need to feel loved, and I was so insecure 833 00:45:10,600 --> 00:45:14,239 Speaker 3: and just wanting to be accepted. And so to get 834 00:45:14,239 --> 00:45:17,200 Speaker 3: to a stage that took, you know, over forty years 835 00:45:17,960 --> 00:45:25,000 Speaker 3: to feel enough self love where I feel confident to 836 00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:28,840 Speaker 3: really I feel confident to do what I love, to 837 00:45:28,840 --> 00:45:32,759 Speaker 3: be passionate about what I love to to to be 838 00:45:32,840 --> 00:45:35,560 Speaker 3: able to look within myself and feel good. And by 839 00:45:35,600 --> 00:45:37,880 Speaker 3: the way, there are so there's a mistake or you know, 840 00:45:37,920 --> 00:45:42,080 Speaker 3: there's there's contrasting experiences that when I look at them, 841 00:45:42,120 --> 00:45:45,960 Speaker 3: I go wow, like I really, you know, I I've 842 00:45:46,040 --> 00:45:49,760 Speaker 3: made choices that perhaps have hurt others and to own 843 00:45:49,920 --> 00:45:54,000 Speaker 3: that and to still go okay, Yet I need to 844 00:45:55,239 --> 00:46:00,360 Speaker 3: love myself because then you're not dependent on everyone else's 845 00:46:00,440 --> 00:46:03,960 Speaker 3: approval and our confidence in our what we can do 846 00:46:04,160 --> 00:46:06,359 Speaker 3: and what we can accomplish, you know what I mean? 847 00:46:06,480 --> 00:46:08,719 Speaker 3: Instead of there was a long time where I think 848 00:46:08,760 --> 00:46:11,080 Speaker 3: so often we hold people on pedestals or we look 849 00:46:11,120 --> 00:46:13,080 Speaker 3: at other people, you know what I mean. It's so 850 00:46:13,160 --> 00:46:15,960 Speaker 3: easy to compare ourselves to others. To get to the 851 00:46:16,040 --> 00:46:19,680 Speaker 3: place where we're not constantly doing that is really amazing. 852 00:46:20,560 --> 00:46:23,480 Speaker 1: So okay, So that brings me to my last question, 853 00:46:23,520 --> 00:46:24,240 Speaker 1: which is. 854 00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:25,879 Speaker 3: Your last one? 855 00:46:26,719 --> 00:46:27,879 Speaker 2: I mean, I could ask you ten. 856 00:46:27,800 --> 00:46:29,120 Speaker 3: Billy, I can ask you about a million. 857 00:46:29,160 --> 00:46:32,120 Speaker 1: Wise, A lot of people say that we change from 858 00:46:32,120 --> 00:46:37,160 Speaker 1: our younger selves over time. Do you think that's true 859 00:46:37,719 --> 00:46:38,160 Speaker 1: or false? 860 00:46:38,239 --> 00:46:39,720 Speaker 2: Like for you do you think. 861 00:46:40,400 --> 00:46:42,480 Speaker 3: A thousand percent? And I think it goes You know, 862 00:46:42,520 --> 00:46:46,040 Speaker 3: one of my favorite books, the Four Agreements, that talks about, 863 00:46:46,080 --> 00:46:51,319 Speaker 3: you know, the programming and not to make assumptions. Great book. 864 00:46:51,440 --> 00:46:55,239 Speaker 3: I highly recommend it. I really love it, and I 865 00:46:55,280 --> 00:46:59,640 Speaker 3: think so much comes from the programming. And there were 866 00:46:59,680 --> 00:47:02,800 Speaker 3: so many years that I just had so much insecurity. 867 00:47:02,920 --> 00:47:06,080 Speaker 3: Am I good enough? Am I pretty enough? Am I talented? 868 00:47:06,080 --> 00:47:06,400 Speaker 2: And I'm not? 869 00:47:06,680 --> 00:47:10,799 Speaker 1: Do you think of us as being girl teenagers? 870 00:47:11,120 --> 00:47:14,399 Speaker 2: Because how much as a kid, as. 871 00:47:14,320 --> 00:47:16,600 Speaker 3: A kid, I was this like, oh I'm you know, 872 00:47:16,680 --> 00:47:18,680 Speaker 3: I felt so self on top of it. As soon 873 00:47:18,680 --> 00:47:21,759 Speaker 3: as I started going through puberty and feeling judgment from 874 00:47:21,800 --> 00:47:24,560 Speaker 3: others and all of that, It's just like my my, 875 00:47:25,440 --> 00:47:27,600 Speaker 3: you know, I just started like turning inside. And so 876 00:47:27,640 --> 00:47:30,360 Speaker 3: I think the camera for me was this protective device, 877 00:47:30,560 --> 00:47:32,719 Speaker 3: you know, I just document it and turn it on 878 00:47:32,760 --> 00:47:37,000 Speaker 3: everyone else. Then I somehow can protect myself in this 879 00:47:37,239 --> 00:47:40,640 Speaker 3: in this way, you know, which is interesting and so 880 00:47:40,640 --> 00:47:44,760 Speaker 3: so over the years that programming. You know, a perfect 881 00:47:44,800 --> 00:47:47,600 Speaker 3: example of that is when we were rebooting when I 882 00:47:47,760 --> 00:47:50,719 Speaker 3: call it a continuation doing Punky again, and the night 883 00:47:50,760 --> 00:47:54,279 Speaker 3: that we were doing our live taping, I had a 884 00:47:54,440 --> 00:47:58,400 Speaker 3: full blown panic attack. And my dear friend to me, 885 00:47:58,640 --> 00:48:00,879 Speaker 3: who has like, who can I I mean, I don't 886 00:48:00,880 --> 00:48:06,240 Speaker 3: mean to Jo brought my four children into the world 887 00:48:06,280 --> 00:48:06,680 Speaker 3: all time. 888 00:48:06,920 --> 00:48:11,040 Speaker 1: I just want to say that when so let says 889 00:48:11,400 --> 00:48:14,600 Speaker 1: celebrities like Sean and Champagne and to me and de 890 00:48:14,680 --> 00:48:18,680 Speaker 1: me more, she's the most not name droppy, not celebrity. 891 00:48:18,760 --> 00:48:21,840 Speaker 1: These actually are people she's been surrounded by since she 892 00:48:21,960 --> 00:48:24,520 Speaker 1: was a child, so they are her actual family. But 893 00:48:24,560 --> 00:48:27,839 Speaker 1: she has many many friends that are not at all 894 00:48:27,920 --> 00:48:28,560 Speaker 1: known or famous. 895 00:48:28,600 --> 00:48:30,440 Speaker 2: I just want to I just want to share that, Yes, I. 896 00:48:30,880 --> 00:48:33,680 Speaker 3: Feel like I need to do this. I have the 897 00:48:33,680 --> 00:48:36,279 Speaker 3: same friends since I was little. But she turned to 898 00:48:36,320 --> 00:48:38,960 Speaker 3: me because she came to support me that night, and 899 00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:41,200 Speaker 3: she and we sat there and she said, what are 900 00:48:41,239 --> 00:48:43,719 Speaker 3: you afraid of? And it was one of the most 901 00:48:43,719 --> 00:48:47,000 Speaker 3: profound experiences that I've had. And I said, the little 902 00:48:47,000 --> 00:48:49,400 Speaker 3: girl that doesn't feel like she's good enough, the teenager 903 00:48:49,440 --> 00:48:51,560 Speaker 3: that doesn't feel like she's pretty enough, the teenager that 904 00:48:52,000 --> 00:48:55,560 Speaker 3: doesn't know if she can do it, the kid that's 905 00:48:55,600 --> 00:48:58,520 Speaker 3: afraid that I could follow on my face. And once 906 00:48:58,600 --> 00:49:00,719 Speaker 3: I got it all out out and just said all 907 00:49:00,760 --> 00:49:02,480 Speaker 3: the things I was afraid of, she looked at me 908 00:49:02,520 --> 00:49:04,359 Speaker 3: and she goes, now, you can release it, all right, 909 00:49:04,640 --> 00:49:07,200 Speaker 3: And I let go of it, and I'll start crying 910 00:49:07,239 --> 00:49:10,520 Speaker 3: thinking about it, because then I went on to stage 911 00:49:10,560 --> 00:49:12,560 Speaker 3: that night, and it was like lightning in a bottle, 912 00:49:12,640 --> 00:49:16,720 Speaker 3: like I was able to release so much of those insecurities. 913 00:49:16,760 --> 00:49:20,000 Speaker 3: And we're so deep rooted, and so I think that 914 00:49:20,880 --> 00:49:26,200 Speaker 3: we are who we are, and so often the programming 915 00:49:26,400 --> 00:49:29,359 Speaker 3: of the world around us, we start to believe those things. 916 00:49:29,360 --> 00:49:31,600 Speaker 3: It's like the kid. You know, there's this story in 917 00:49:31,640 --> 00:49:34,400 Speaker 3: that book where the kids this singer and love singing, 918 00:49:34,440 --> 00:49:36,680 Speaker 3: and the mom is kind of like, h can you 919 00:49:36,719 --> 00:49:39,040 Speaker 3: be quiet? That kind of thing, right, like, you know, 920 00:49:39,200 --> 00:49:42,160 Speaker 3: and so they start to not believe that they're an 921 00:49:42,160 --> 00:49:45,400 Speaker 3: incredible singer. Right, Like what happens from the world around 922 00:49:45,440 --> 00:49:47,200 Speaker 3: us that we just start eating up all of this 923 00:49:47,320 --> 00:49:51,360 Speaker 3: programming and then we become, you know, shadows of ourselves 924 00:49:51,440 --> 00:49:53,440 Speaker 3: or you know, or whatever. We don't do the shadow 925 00:49:53,440 --> 00:49:55,879 Speaker 3: work or whatever. We become shells of who we once were. 926 00:49:55,920 --> 00:49:58,239 Speaker 3: And so I think so much of at least for me, 927 00:49:58,360 --> 00:50:01,719 Speaker 3: this journey at this stage of my life, is reprogramming 928 00:50:02,120 --> 00:50:05,440 Speaker 3: those false beliefs to who I really am, which is 929 00:50:05,480 --> 00:50:07,360 Speaker 3: who I've always been and who we come into the 930 00:50:07,360 --> 00:50:09,680 Speaker 3: world as, so that when I go out of the world, 931 00:50:09,719 --> 00:50:12,600 Speaker 3: I'm back to my authentic Steff. Right. 932 00:50:13,120 --> 00:50:15,319 Speaker 1: So it's like we don't change at the core, but 933 00:50:15,440 --> 00:50:17,880 Speaker 1: I think the things that happen in our life affect 934 00:50:17,960 --> 00:50:21,160 Speaker 1: how they come out and change us and our perception. 935 00:50:21,440 --> 00:50:21,680 Speaker 2: Agree. 936 00:50:22,200 --> 00:50:26,480 Speaker 3: Yes, one other thing was through the videos, Like I 937 00:50:26,520 --> 00:50:29,399 Speaker 3: had this kind of concept around one of my first loves, 938 00:50:29,400 --> 00:50:31,000 Speaker 3: and I was like, I was so crazy about him, 939 00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:33,600 Speaker 3: and did it I didn't see the love back and 940 00:50:33,640 --> 00:50:35,840 Speaker 3: it wasn't just the love back from him, but the 941 00:50:35,960 --> 00:50:38,680 Speaker 3: love back from all of these people who I had 942 00:50:38,719 --> 00:50:41,279 Speaker 3: just had these ideas around in my head. And once 943 00:50:41,320 --> 00:50:45,000 Speaker 3: I did the interviews with these lifelong friends and I realized, 944 00:50:45,040 --> 00:50:47,160 Speaker 3: oh wait a second, not only did I love them, 945 00:50:47,280 --> 00:50:49,360 Speaker 3: but there was that love back. I think we're so 946 00:50:49,560 --> 00:50:53,759 Speaker 3: often not aware of the love that is around us 947 00:50:54,239 --> 00:50:58,160 Speaker 3: and how loved we really are. And it's like taking 948 00:50:58,200 --> 00:51:01,479 Speaker 3: those blinders off, and that I think is so much 949 00:51:01,520 --> 00:51:05,040 Speaker 3: of the work that I'm super interested in doing at 950 00:51:05,080 --> 00:51:06,000 Speaker 3: this stage of my life. 951 00:51:06,120 --> 00:51:07,400 Speaker 2: It's so it's amazing. 952 00:51:07,960 --> 00:51:11,959 Speaker 1: So it's amazing to watch. And you know, it's funny 953 00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:14,160 Speaker 1: because when I walked into Thanksgiving, I realized there was 954 00:51:14,200 --> 00:51:15,880 Speaker 1: a guy in the corner the whole time with a 955 00:51:15,960 --> 00:51:18,960 Speaker 1: video camera, and I, you know, it's funny, Like I 956 00:51:18,960 --> 00:51:21,160 Speaker 1: think Roger and I like noticed it and did we 957 00:51:21,200 --> 00:51:24,200 Speaker 1: didn't even blink, We didn't even think about it. I 958 00:51:24,239 --> 00:51:24,960 Speaker 1: didn't even. 959 00:51:24,800 --> 00:51:25,560 Speaker 2: Ask about it. 960 00:51:25,640 --> 00:51:28,040 Speaker 1: I just was like, I feel like she just journals 961 00:51:28,040 --> 00:51:29,640 Speaker 1: her life and this is like one of. 962 00:51:29,600 --> 00:51:32,320 Speaker 3: Those journal my life and literally, I mean it's again 963 00:51:32,920 --> 00:51:35,520 Speaker 3: and it's so wild, but it's it's it's constant. It's 964 00:51:35,560 --> 00:51:38,279 Speaker 3: like I'm in the midst of doing this documentary now 965 00:51:38,360 --> 00:51:40,239 Speaker 3: where if I had taken the time again to be 966 00:51:40,840 --> 00:51:42,440 Speaker 3: in a place of like, oh my god, I've got 967 00:51:42,480 --> 00:51:45,399 Speaker 3: to like set it up and pitch it. Like this 968 00:51:45,440 --> 00:51:48,040 Speaker 3: whole journey the last seven months has been so incredible 969 00:51:48,080 --> 00:51:50,480 Speaker 3: and leads to like one of my journeys, and like 970 00:51:50,520 --> 00:51:52,759 Speaker 3: I just like I got to keep documenting because it's like. 971 00:51:52,760 --> 00:51:55,920 Speaker 1: Okay, so right now, so like what happens? So okay, 972 00:51:56,160 --> 00:51:59,359 Speaker 1: where do you see yourself in twenty years or ten 973 00:51:59,400 --> 00:52:01,440 Speaker 1: years or five because you don't have to answer it 974 00:52:01,480 --> 00:52:04,040 Speaker 1: because for me and people ask that, it's very hard, but. 975 00:52:04,480 --> 00:52:11,880 Speaker 3: So first and foremost my children, my family and the 976 00:52:11,960 --> 00:52:15,080 Speaker 3: love around me. I love being of service to others. 977 00:52:15,280 --> 00:52:17,320 Speaker 3: You know how much I love to work with Core. 978 00:52:17,360 --> 00:52:19,799 Speaker 3: It has been the work next to my children that 979 00:52:19,840 --> 00:52:21,000 Speaker 3: I'm most proud of. 980 00:52:21,600 --> 00:52:23,120 Speaker 2: You can you give our listeners. 981 00:52:23,200 --> 00:52:25,279 Speaker 1: I've mentioned CORE before, but I do want to speak 982 00:52:25,280 --> 00:52:28,080 Speaker 1: to it because I've been involved since the beginning because 983 00:52:28,120 --> 00:52:32,319 Speaker 1: of Solet and of course Champagne, who founded it. But 984 00:52:33,440 --> 00:52:36,440 Speaker 1: I do want to mention that because I think it's 985 00:52:36,480 --> 00:52:38,840 Speaker 1: important that our listeners know and know how they can donate, 986 00:52:38,960 --> 00:52:42,279 Speaker 1: how they can get involved how extraordinary this organization is. 987 00:52:42,840 --> 00:52:47,759 Speaker 3: Thank you. So we're a disaster relief organization and when 988 00:52:47,840 --> 00:52:52,520 Speaker 3: disaster strikes, we jump in. We were formed after the 989 00:52:52,560 --> 00:52:57,479 Speaker 3: earthquake in Haiti and when I first joined, we had 990 00:52:58,200 --> 00:53:00,480 Speaker 3: you know, there's sixty five thousand people live in a 991 00:53:00,560 --> 00:53:04,760 Speaker 3: tense city. Sean had dove in as people were rushing 992 00:53:04,760 --> 00:53:07,960 Speaker 3: out of Haiti. He went in and it's it's co 993 00:53:08,040 --> 00:53:09,839 Speaker 3: founded by Sean, Penn and Lee. 994 00:53:10,120 --> 00:53:12,560 Speaker 1: And for those of you who think Sean just called 995 00:53:12,560 --> 00:53:15,080 Speaker 1: it in, he was living there. 996 00:53:15,400 --> 00:53:19,560 Speaker 3: Yes, absolutely, and since then those sixty five thousand people 997 00:53:19,600 --> 00:53:26,600 Speaker 3: have moved into sustainable homes. We go wherever, wherever disasterevery 998 00:53:26,680 --> 00:53:32,400 Speaker 3: really yeah, I mean absolutely, Amrico, I mean we're now global, Brazil, Venezuela. 999 00:53:32,480 --> 00:53:37,440 Speaker 3: And when COVID nineteen hit, we immediately jumped into action. 1000 00:53:38,680 --> 00:53:42,120 Speaker 3: We set up testing sites across the country. We worked 1001 00:53:42,120 --> 00:53:45,120 Speaker 3: with the Los Angeles Fire Department in Garcetti at the 1002 00:53:45,160 --> 00:53:49,279 Speaker 3: Dodger Stadium site. We vaccinated over two million people. We've 1003 00:53:49,719 --> 00:53:53,960 Speaker 3: done testing on over six million people. Were a global 1004 00:53:54,280 --> 00:53:59,359 Speaker 3: disaster relief organization that you know, dives in when it's 1005 00:53:59,400 --> 00:54:04,520 Speaker 3: incredible strike. So it's it's been incredible. We're in India, Brazil. Uh, venezuela. 1006 00:54:04,560 --> 00:54:08,040 Speaker 3: I'm just across the board and uh and I'm so 1007 00:54:08,280 --> 00:54:10,919 Speaker 3: proud to be a part of it. When the Carolinas 1008 00:54:10,920 --> 00:54:13,640 Speaker 3: were hit, you know, and we just go wherever we're needed. 1009 00:54:13,760 --> 00:54:17,759 Speaker 1: Essentially, it's so extraordinary. You guys should where can they go? 1010 00:54:17,840 --> 00:54:21,239 Speaker 1: So they just so you can go to core response. 1011 00:54:24,400 --> 00:54:26,640 Speaker 2: I'm so incredibly impressed by the words. 1012 00:54:26,640 --> 00:54:28,359 Speaker 3: And you can follow us on social media and stuff. 1013 00:54:28,400 --> 00:54:29,239 Speaker 2: Oh thank you. 1014 00:54:29,320 --> 00:54:31,400 Speaker 3: I mean, it was just it's amazing. So I'm so 1015 00:54:31,440 --> 00:54:34,319 Speaker 3: grateful for that. So I see myself continuing to be 1016 00:54:34,400 --> 00:54:38,400 Speaker 3: of service to others with my children as well, and 1017 00:54:38,400 --> 00:54:42,439 Speaker 3: and to be continuing to document and make art. And 1018 00:54:42,560 --> 00:54:45,920 Speaker 3: I love being behind the camera. I still love acting, 1019 00:54:45,960 --> 00:54:48,160 Speaker 3: I love directing. I just I just want to make. 1020 00:54:48,239 --> 00:54:52,320 Speaker 3: I want to continue making art that's meaningful and that 1021 00:54:52,320 --> 00:54:55,799 Speaker 3: that has purpose and that can help shed light on 1022 00:54:55,880 --> 00:55:02,400 Speaker 3: everything from mental health to to love. I love love stories, 1023 00:55:03,280 --> 00:55:08,279 Speaker 3: to history and continue to share stories. I think our 1024 00:55:08,320 --> 00:55:11,600 Speaker 3: stories are really really important and that everyone has an 1025 00:55:11,600 --> 00:55:12,680 Speaker 3: important story to tell. 1026 00:55:13,400 --> 00:55:15,440 Speaker 1: I agree with one hundred percent. And my wish for 1027 00:55:15,480 --> 00:55:17,480 Speaker 1: you is that you continue to spread your light to 1028 00:55:17,520 --> 00:55:20,480 Speaker 1: everybody else because you do That's what you do, and. 1029 00:55:20,600 --> 00:55:23,080 Speaker 3: I love you and I feel the same about you, 1030 00:55:23,239 --> 00:55:25,759 Speaker 3: and I just I want to say, I mean, you 1031 00:55:25,840 --> 00:55:31,640 Speaker 3: really truly have been just the best friend family, and 1032 00:55:32,320 --> 00:55:36,160 Speaker 3: I'll never forget I'll never forget our calls as I 1033 00:55:36,239 --> 00:55:41,080 Speaker 3: was going through this transformation, and it's so incredible because 1034 00:55:41,160 --> 00:55:45,960 Speaker 3: you too are just this incredibly shiny, sparkly beautiful being 1035 00:55:46,760 --> 00:55:51,480 Speaker 3: and you take it all in and you were observing everything, 1036 00:55:52,040 --> 00:55:56,200 Speaker 3: and you made me feel like the steps I was 1037 00:55:56,239 --> 00:56:00,000 Speaker 3: taking were okay, you know, and remember, and there was others, 1038 00:56:00,200 --> 00:56:02,440 Speaker 3: there was other people that didn't always make me feel 1039 00:56:02,440 --> 00:56:05,680 Speaker 3: that way, and that there was a lot of fear 1040 00:56:05,800 --> 00:56:09,200 Speaker 3: coming in. And then there's the people that build you 1041 00:56:09,200 --> 00:56:11,440 Speaker 3: out of love. I think there's people and both are 1042 00:56:11,480 --> 00:56:15,680 Speaker 3: important teachers of fear and love. Like I really love 1043 00:56:15,800 --> 00:56:18,160 Speaker 3: leaning into love and You've always made me feel so 1044 00:56:18,280 --> 00:56:21,400 Speaker 3: loved and not judged, and I really listen. 1045 00:56:22,280 --> 00:56:24,440 Speaker 1: The one thing I know that I do have is 1046 00:56:24,480 --> 00:56:27,959 Speaker 1: an instinct, and I can sometimes see things a little 1047 00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:31,160 Speaker 1: bit like a camera sometimes, and I think, at the 1048 00:56:31,280 --> 00:56:33,680 Speaker 1: end of the day, what I truly believe is that 1049 00:56:34,280 --> 00:56:38,919 Speaker 1: two parents are happy. I think that's what children need, 1050 00:56:39,120 --> 00:56:41,760 Speaker 1: is two parents that are happy. And if they're together, 1051 00:56:41,880 --> 00:56:45,040 Speaker 1: happy apart happy. But I think whatever it is, it 1052 00:56:45,080 --> 00:56:48,080 Speaker 1: makes them better parents, whatever they are. And I think, 1053 00:56:48,960 --> 00:56:51,759 Speaker 1: you know, children just want to be loved right and 1054 00:56:51,800 --> 00:56:52,400 Speaker 1: your children are. 1055 00:56:52,480 --> 00:56:53,479 Speaker 3: We all want to be loved. 1056 00:56:53,480 --> 00:56:55,440 Speaker 2: We all want to be loved right well. 1057 00:56:55,520 --> 00:56:57,400 Speaker 1: And I love you madly, and I just want you 1058 00:56:57,440 --> 00:57:00,080 Speaker 1: to keep spreading your life. I love you so much, 1059 00:57:00,120 --> 00:57:00,920 Speaker 1: and I'm going to see this. 1060 00:57:00,960 --> 00:57:02,440 Speaker 3: We love you beyond, beyond beyond. 1061 00:57:03,000 --> 00:57:04,239 Speaker 2: I love you, I love you much. 1062 00:57:04,320 --> 00:57:06,160 Speaker 3: I love you, I love you so much. 1063 00:57:09,120 --> 00:57:12,960 Speaker 1: Okay, so Sole is one of my favorite people in 1064 00:57:13,000 --> 00:57:14,759 Speaker 1: the world, and as you may have been able to 1065 00:57:14,800 --> 00:57:18,680 Speaker 1: tell in just this podcast that she's this ray of 1066 00:57:18,720 --> 00:57:21,760 Speaker 1: sunshine that just spreads light wherever she goes and she's 1067 00:57:22,040 --> 00:57:27,280 Speaker 1: just magical. But I think what she shared was so 1068 00:57:27,400 --> 00:57:30,920 Speaker 1: important because I actually think we've never done it before. 1069 00:57:31,000 --> 00:57:35,080 Speaker 1: But I think we've never talked about what's considered to 1070 00:57:35,120 --> 00:57:37,920 Speaker 1: be the most important relationship of all, which is the 1071 00:57:37,960 --> 00:57:41,320 Speaker 1: one with ourselves. And I'm pretty sure I don't know 1072 00:57:41,400 --> 00:57:44,760 Speaker 1: a single person that doesn't need to work on that relationship. 1073 00:57:45,680 --> 00:57:50,440 Speaker 1: Myself very much included in that. So my biggest takeaways 1074 00:57:50,480 --> 00:57:55,480 Speaker 1: from this episode was of course learning even more how 1075 00:57:55,520 --> 00:57:59,760 Speaker 1: deeply authentic genuine, kind and magical solet is, but I 1076 00:57:59,760 --> 00:58:04,480 Speaker 1: think also having lived the life that she's lived, just 1077 00:58:04,560 --> 00:58:07,480 Speaker 1: coming to that place of being honest with yourself, being 1078 00:58:07,520 --> 00:58:10,680 Speaker 1: truthful and just loving yourself for all the good and 1079 00:58:10,720 --> 00:58:14,560 Speaker 1: the bad, and stop feeling guilty about maybe putting yourself 1080 00:58:14,600 --> 00:58:18,960 Speaker 1: first now and then. So that was my biggest learning 1081 00:58:19,000 --> 00:58:22,080 Speaker 1: of this week. I hope you guys really loved this 1082 00:58:22,160 --> 00:58:25,560 Speaker 1: episode because I personally would say it's to me one 1083 00:58:25,560 --> 00:58:28,560 Speaker 1: of my all time favorites. If you want more Climbing 1084 00:58:28,600 --> 00:58:31,160 Speaker 1: in Hales content, follow me on at Rachel Zoe and 1085 00:58:31,240 --> 00:58:34,320 Speaker 1: at Climbing in Hales pod on Instagram for more updates 1086 00:58:34,360 --> 00:58:38,160 Speaker 1: on upcoming guests, episodes, and of course all things here 1087 00:58:38,160 --> 00:58:40,160 Speaker 1: ator see you next week and luck