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Speaker 1: I don't think I'm ever gonna go through a mid

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Speaker 1: life crisis that ass. That as I'm gonna explain why though.

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Speaker 2: Okay, okay, the term midlife crisis to me is not

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Speaker 2: necessarily a crisis. What came to me was a midlife clarity.

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Speaker 2: Mm let's talk about it.

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Speaker 1: It all started with real talk, unfiltered, honest and straight

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Speaker 1: from the heart. Since then, we've gone on to become

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Speaker 1: Webby award winning podcasters in New York Times bestselling authors.

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Speaker 2: Dead Ass was more than a podcast for us. It

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Speaker 2: was about our growth, a place where we could be vulnerable,

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Speaker 2: be raw.

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Speaker 3: Of course, but most apportly be us.

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Speaker 2: But as we know, life keeps evolving and so do we,

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Speaker 2: and through it all, one thing has never changed. This

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Speaker 2: is a severafter because we got a lot to talk about.

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Speaker 1: So storyteme, I'm gonna talk about what year this was?

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Speaker 2: You good at the years? Man? Because everything is jumbled together,

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Speaker 2: timelinds me so jumbled together in my head.

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Speaker 1: Nineteen ninety seven, ninety seven, I was in seventh grade,

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Speaker 1: and now I'm explaining to you why I think I'm

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Speaker 1: never gonna go through a mid life crisis. Seventh grade,

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Speaker 1: My parents and I were having a family caucus right,

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Speaker 1: and the family caucus was chores.

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Speaker 3: As always, things were not getting done right. And at

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Speaker 3: this moment in my life, I was thirteen.

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Speaker 1: I had already gotten kicked off the basketball team by

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Speaker 1: my mom.

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Speaker 2: Because how did your mom kick you off the basketball team?

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Speaker 3: I told you, remember mister you know, she pulled me

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Speaker 3: off the basketb team.

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Speaker 1: But remember mister fast gave me fifty five and then

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Speaker 1: I had to prove I did my work and he

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Speaker 1: ended up giving me an eighty. My mom still didn't

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Speaker 1: let me play basketball because we had to go through

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Speaker 1: that just because and it was just like what like

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Speaker 1: just because I had to do something because he didn't

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Speaker 1: do his job and I had to prove that he

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Speaker 1: was to do his job. I still couldn't play basketball.

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Speaker 1: I was fed up.

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Speaker 3: So now we're going through chores and stuff, and I

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Speaker 3: think this was my midlife crisis my mom.

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Speaker 1: At seven seventh grade, my parents are going through a

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Speaker 1: list of chores that needed to be done, and it

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Speaker 1: was front yard, backyard, develop Brian bathrooms, develop Brian basement,

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Speaker 1: develop Brian kitchen, develop Brian so and once she got

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Speaker 1: to that, I said, so pretty much, we have to

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Speaker 1: do everything, just say that, like y'all had children to

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Speaker 1: have slaves.

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Speaker 3: And my mom said, excuse me. I said, this isn't.

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Speaker 1: Fair, Like I wasn't in the universe asking for someone

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Speaker 1: to bring me here. I came here off of y'all

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Speaker 1: guilty pleasures, and now y'all want me to do all

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Speaker 1: the work.

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Speaker 2: The fact that you still have all your teet crazy.

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Speaker 1: That was my midlife price at thirteen, But I honestly

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Speaker 1: felt that way, and it was in that moment when

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Speaker 1: I realized.

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Speaker 3: Stuff wasn't fair.

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Speaker 1: I stopped trying to conform to what everybody wanted me

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Speaker 1: to do, because I realized, while trying to do everything

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Speaker 1: everybody wanted me to do, I was still feeling I

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Speaker 1: was still getting in trouble at school, I was still

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Speaker 1: getting in trouble at home while trying.

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Speaker 3: To do everything.

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Speaker 1: So at that point, I said, I'm gonna just do

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Speaker 1: what I want to do, and I moved into the

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Speaker 1: basement out of my room upstairs, and I just started

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Speaker 1: focusing on what I wanted to do.

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Speaker 3: And my parents told me that.

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Speaker 1: I was going to reap the benefits of that or

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Speaker 1: I was going to deal with consequences, and clearly it's

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Speaker 1: been the benefits, God so much the consequences. But I

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Speaker 1: said that was my midlife crisis at thirteen, I was

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Speaker 1: done with everybody, period.

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Speaker 2: All right, karaoke time shot. I forgot what I saw

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Speaker 2: was today for Cary.

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Speaker 3: Come on, I texted to you.

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Speaker 2: You did take it to me? Oh my goodness.

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Speaker 3: He forgot too to.

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Speaker 2: The text me.

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Speaker 3: Oh, it is clearly.

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Speaker 2: Talking about clarity, mid life clarity. So here we go.

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Speaker 2: I can see clearly now the rain is gone. It's

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Speaker 2: gonna be a bride right right, unhine day. And that's

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Speaker 2: all I know. But shout out to uh, was it

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Speaker 2: Jimmy Nash?

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Speaker 3: I don't know, Jimmy, you had the clarity you're supposed

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Speaker 3: to know since you had the clay.

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Speaker 2: That is a fact. I mean, the fact that you

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Speaker 2: even had a midlife crisis in the seventh grade is crazy. Yes,

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Speaker 2: but it was just a byproduct of how you felt,

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Speaker 2: I guess apparently at all. Yes, you realize that you

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Speaker 2: need to do your own thing, yes, in life?

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Speaker 3: Yes, All right, y'all.

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Speaker 2: Well let's go take a quick break and we're going

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Speaker 2: to get back into story.

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Speaker 3: Time and opera now, all right, so we're back.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, So that storytime had me laughing during the break

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Speaker 2: because I was like, Wow, you feeling as though you

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Speaker 2: now have midlife clarity was simply a byproduct of UH

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Speaker 2: at thirteen. At thirteen feeling like things were unjust in

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Speaker 2: your household.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because I got tired of people telling me things

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Speaker 1: to do, with me following everything they told me to

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Speaker 1: do and still not reaping the benefits of what I

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Speaker 1: was told.

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Speaker 3: I was going to get like, you go.

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Speaker 1: To school, you do things the right way, and your

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Speaker 1: teachers will help support you, and then you can go

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Speaker 1: play basketball if you I did everything.

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Speaker 3: And this guy, mister Fast, I'll never forget him.

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Speaker 2: He can't wait till where is he at nowadays? Probably

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Speaker 2: ever see you in these streets.

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Speaker 1: Probably still at Andrews Hurdy Junior High School, terrorizing kids.

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Speaker 1: That was my first time realizing that some adults just

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Speaker 1: be jealous of kids, right like, because he had no

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Speaker 1: reason to do that.

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Speaker 3: My mom's pressed them, my pops pressed them in.

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Speaker 1: Then he changed my grade at a minute, he was wrong,

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Speaker 1: but then in eighth grade tried to get me kicked

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Speaker 1: off the Florida trip.

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Speaker 3: Same guy, so he.

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Speaker 2: Had this like a personal vendetta against you.

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Speaker 1: It seems as though, I also found out was because

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Speaker 1: he liked little girls and he was one of the

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Speaker 1: teachers that used to be rubbing their backs, and oh,

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Speaker 1: your broadstrap was you know now as a grown man,

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Speaker 1: what you saw back then, what you didn't realize what

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Speaker 1: was happening. And it just so happened that I was

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Speaker 1: the cute kid that the girls liked. And I guess

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Speaker 1: mister Fast didn't like the fact that they liked me,

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Speaker 1: so he was hating on me big. As a grown adult,

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Speaker 1: now I see it. Didn't understand it then.

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Speaker 2: The time, you know, but I was see you now,

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, he probably hate me now.

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Speaker 1: But you know, I went back to Andrew's Herty Junior

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Speaker 1: High School when I was in the NFL, and I

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Speaker 1: asked to go directly to his class.

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Speaker 3: Did you found I went right to his class, and Fast, yes,

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Speaker 3: he was still there. And I didn't realize. I realized

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Speaker 3: now because I was smaller than that.

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Speaker 1: He's only about five six, you know, he's a large guy,

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Speaker 1: doesn't take care of himself. And in a minute I

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Speaker 1: walked in, he was just looking all weird, and I

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Speaker 1: was just like, what's up, mister Fast?

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Speaker 3: You remember me? Daval Ellis he was like, oh, nineth Glass.

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Speaker 1: Of ninety eight, so you do remember me, yeah, remember

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Speaker 1: you tried to get me kicked off the Florida trip.

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Speaker 1: And I went right to the class said, hey, man,

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Speaker 1: make sure you keep received. This guy said, I wasn't.

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Speaker 3: Doing my homework. Good thing.

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Speaker 1: I was doing my homework on the computer, remember that,

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Speaker 1: mister fast. And he was just standing there like.

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Speaker 3: He was just looking mad at you, like you. I

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Speaker 3: didn't mess with him at all. I didn't. I was thirteen.

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Speaker 1: I had no clue that this guy had these issues

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Speaker 1: with me. He got he took my lucky Bucks away.

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Speaker 1: It's a whole story, still.

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Speaker 3: Chick quick story.

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Speaker 2: I heard about lucky Bucks a couple of times.

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Speaker 3: Story.

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Speaker 2: Yo.

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Speaker 3: So lucky Bucks was the thing we had in seventh grade.

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Speaker 1: Right, So whoever at the end of the year got

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Speaker 1: had the most lucky bucks was able to get a

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Speaker 1: prize or something, right, So he gave lucky bucks to

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Speaker 1: kids who answer questions correctly.

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Speaker 3: Right.

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Speaker 1: So I'm walking back from class and I hear him

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Speaker 1: talking to the girls and he had a tie on

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Speaker 1: that had a bad love it and he was just like,

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Speaker 1: this tie is from.

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Speaker 3: The Battle of Gettysburg. You can tell specifically because the.

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Speaker 1: Helmets and this and that, and I'm walking by I

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Speaker 1: hear him talking to the girls, And now I realized

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Speaker 1: he was just trying to be cool.

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Speaker 3: He probably was never cool kid his whole life, but

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Speaker 3: now he had a chance to be his way. Okay,

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Speaker 3: they were thirteen year old holds.

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Speaker 4: But you messed up, I'm trying to say.

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Speaker 1: But he was trying to stunt right. So I walk

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Speaker 1: into class and walk into class, and he was just like,

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Speaker 1: whoever can guess what battle my tires from gets fifty

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Speaker 1: lucky bucks. Now, he only gave two lucky bucks out

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Speaker 1: like per question, so fifty lucky bucks was a big deal.

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Speaker 3: He automatically assumed I would know.

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Speaker 1: So I raised my hand up because I was I hustling, right,

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Speaker 1: I raised my hand and he chuckled, Okay, ellis what

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Speaker 1: battle you think this is? And I said, well, based

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Speaker 1: on the helmets and the attire of the soldiers, I

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Speaker 1: would have to say the Battle of Gettysburg. And he

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Speaker 1: turned beat red. Oh he red, yeah, he's white, right,

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Speaker 1: beat red right, So he said, come get your lucky bucks.

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Speaker 3: So he gave me fifty lucky bucks.

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Speaker 1: There's little pieces of paper, right, So now he asked

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Speaker 1: another question, and then someone else answer. He said, val,

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Speaker 1: give him ten of your lucky bucks. Oh no, no, yes,

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Speaker 1: story asked my mom. So I said, I said, why

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Speaker 1: am I giving him ten of my lucky bucks? I'm

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Speaker 1: not giving nobody my lucky bucks. And it's like give

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Speaker 1: him ten of lucky bucks. It's part of the part

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Speaker 1: of the whole thing. So then after like the third

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Speaker 1: time of me giving someone my lucky bucks, I just

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Speaker 1: gave him all back and I said, I don't want

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Speaker 1: none of your fucking lucky bucks. Then he sent me

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Speaker 1: to the principal's office because I cursed at him. So

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Speaker 1: when I went to the principal's office, you know what,

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Speaker 1: I did.

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Speaker 2: The original caring list.

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Speaker 1: And then yeah, my mother called my father because she

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Speaker 1: couldn't come, and my father came up there and pressed him,

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Speaker 1: and when he pressed him, he admitted it. And while

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Speaker 1: he was admitting it, another teach in the room was

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Speaker 1: just like, you, you did that to a kid, and

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Speaker 1: that's and then that spiraled into that that semester, I

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Speaker 1: got a fifty five.

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Speaker 3: I've never failed the class ever.

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Speaker 1: I got a fifty five in social studies and he

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Speaker 1: said it was because of poor missing homework. He had

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Speaker 1: a rule if you missed three homeworks, you automatically fail.

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Speaker 3: But I was smart.

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Speaker 1: I used to do all my homework on the computer

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Speaker 1: because most kids at that time it's ninety seven, didn't

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Speaker 1: have a computer. I did my homework on the computer.

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Speaker 1: I saved it and I had my mom, I'm my homeworks.

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Speaker 1: So I said, can I get a list of the

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Speaker 1: homeworks I missed? So when he gave me the numbers,

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Speaker 1: I went right to the computer and I pulled them

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Speaker 1: all out and I said, Mom, you remember these homeworks.

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Speaker 1: I said, look, you signed these homeworks. These are the

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Speaker 1: homeworks He said.

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Speaker 3: I didn't do.

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Speaker 1: I said, they were done on the computer and you

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Speaker 1: signed them. So that she took the homeworks in and

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Speaker 1: he changed my grade from fifty.

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Speaker 3: Five to eighty.

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Speaker 1: But she punished me because she said, you shouldn't have

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Speaker 1: to be going with I don't know what's going on

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Speaker 1: with you and this man, and this shouldn't be happening,

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Speaker 1: so you're not playing basketball. That pissed me off. Then

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Speaker 1: on top of that, I have to come home and

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Speaker 1: clean up after everybody. So I realized in that moment

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Speaker 1: in my life at thirteen, was like you know what,

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Speaker 1: when I do everything y'all tell me to do, I

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Speaker 1: still don't get what I deserve.

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Speaker 3: So I'm gonna just do what I want to do.

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Speaker 3: And my parents told me I had a bad attitude.

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Speaker 1: I always started answering back and asking questions, and because

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Speaker 1: to me, at this moment, if I'm gonna get in trouble,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna get in trouble on my turn. You know

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Speaker 1: what I'm saying to get in trouble. So I asked why.

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Speaker 1: I said things like this isn't fair. I said things

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Speaker 1: like guilty pleasure. I didn't ask to come here. And

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Speaker 1: in those moments, I started to realize when I took

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Speaker 1: the power into my own hands, even when I still

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Speaker 1: got in trouble because I got in trouble for saying that,

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Speaker 1: don't don't think I didn't like. I got hell of troubles.

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Speaker 1: But it felt good to get my point across. It

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Speaker 1: felt good to say how I felt. And I sat

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Speaker 1: in my trouble and my mother used to tell me

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Speaker 1: I was the most stubborn person and I was going

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Speaker 1: to have kids. I was gonna be just as stubborn,

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Speaker 1: And I said, I hope my kids are just as

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Speaker 1: stubborn and don't listen to everybody else telling them everything.

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Speaker 3: My nephew is just like that. Well, yes he is,

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Speaker 3: just like you.

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Speaker 5: I'm listening to you, and I'm like, he gets in

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Speaker 5: trouble all the time saying stuff like that, but he'd

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Speaker 5: be having a point, like he makes sense.

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Speaker 2: At what point is it having a point in disrespect?

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Speaker 5: Well, well, it's always He's Jamaican, right, my sister's Jamaking.

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Speaker 3: It's always disrespect.

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Speaker 5: But I kind of get it, Like, I mean, not

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Speaker 5: the guilty pleasure part, but you're not a communist.

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Speaker 3: You don't want to give your money to everybody. I

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Speaker 3: get that part, you know what I'm saying. I'm like,

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Speaker 3: now you laughing, but I'm been serious, like, mom, make

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Speaker 3: this make sense for me.

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Speaker 1: And the thing I realize is that when they couldn't

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Speaker 1: make sense of what I was saying in their mind

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Speaker 1: or couldn't answer it, then I was just labeled like

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Speaker 1: a bad attitude, bad kid.

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Speaker 3: And we do the same thing now with people who

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Speaker 3: going through midlife crisis.

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Speaker 1: There comes a point in your life where you start

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Speaker 1: to realize, like, wait a minute, I'm doing all of

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Speaker 1: this stuff.

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Speaker 2: To appease everybody else.

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Speaker 1: People and I don't want to do it no more.

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Speaker 1: And the minute you stop wanting to do things, go

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Speaker 1: to this event do things. They're going through a midlife crisis.

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Speaker 3: Look and it's like, no, I just don't want to

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Speaker 3: do this for y'all no more.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's and I think that's what we're watching people

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Speaker 1: go through now when their forties, because that's our friends.

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Speaker 2: Think about a couple like men. You hear, oh he

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Speaker 2: went and got a motorcycle at forty five, It's like

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Speaker 2: he's never driven a motorcycle.

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Speaker 3: Maybe stop answering to what everybody else said.

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Speaker 2: Maybe you wanted a motorcycle your whole life. You've been

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Speaker 2: sacrificing your whole life, and you're finally at the point

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Speaker 2: where you're like, you know what if it, I'm gonna

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Speaker 2: get what I want. Finally I'm gonna get what I deserve.

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Speaker 3: I get it.

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Speaker 1: I completely understand it as a forty year old, because

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Speaker 1: I understood it as a thirteen year old.

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Speaker 5: That's usually happens when people like evaluate their own mortality, like, yo,

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Speaker 5: our kids are grown or you know what I'm saying,

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Speaker 5: I'm stuck at this job or whatever.

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Speaker 3: Let me just splurge. You did it at thirteen you

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Speaker 3: looked at your own mortality. Why I had eighty more

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Speaker 3: years last. I'm not doing it.

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Speaker 2: To get ahead started.

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Speaker 1: I mean, you're right if you ask my mom and

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Speaker 1: dad did tell you, like, yeah, I was. I was defiant,

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Speaker 1: but I was like sticking my heels in the ground,

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Speaker 1: like I'm not doing this, this is not fair. And

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Speaker 1: they all thought I was crazy.

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Speaker 3: Adolescent life crisis. That's what I have had, an adolescent

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Speaker 3: life crisis. Thanks mom and dad.

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Speaker 2: Love it all right? Well open a op time. What

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Speaker 2: you got for us today? Trips, We're back. Do we

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Speaker 2: welcome everybody back?

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Speaker 3: Yet? Yo, we're back.

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Speaker 2: We're back. And to commemorate you know, deadass, my dead

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Speaker 2: ass earrings today nostalgic, you know, shout out to Anika Zuyne.

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Speaker 3: That's fire.

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Speaker 2: These are like these are little vintage keepsakes that remind

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Speaker 2: me of how it all started. Here we are seventeen seasons, y'all.

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Speaker 3: New merch alert. If you want your dead ass air

331
00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:31,680
Speaker 3: rings is contact Josh. Yeah, takes Airing Underscore, Envy air

332
00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:33,280
Speaker 3: Ring Underscore to put a.

333
00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:34,840
Speaker 2: Link up, run it up that you got to get

334
00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:37,600
Speaker 2: you your vintage dead ass hoodies. We still got a

335
00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:39,960
Speaker 2: couple of those lifts and T shirts is about to

336
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,480
Speaker 2: be hoodie season, so yeah, make sure y'all shot the

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00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:44,960
Speaker 2: merch link. And we have some lser after our stuff

338
00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:46,920
Speaker 2: coming soon too, so stand by.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, I need a pair of those ear rings as well. Lie,

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Speaker 6: I'm about to put my pre order in. Come on

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Speaker 6: now whatever. Speaking of I guess mid life crisis or

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Speaker 6: a young life crisis. I feel like, uh, young men

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Speaker 6: are having a little bit of a young life crisis

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Speaker 6: out here throwing dil doo's on w n b A

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Speaker 6: basketball courts.

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Speaker 2: First of all, when I heard the story, I said, what.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, Like, how you freaking as hell if you see

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Speaker 6: women playing basketball and the first thing you think about

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Speaker 6: is a dildo?

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Speaker 3: That's crazy?

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Speaker 7: Like, get what's going on there?

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00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:23,480
Speaker 1: Well?

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Speaker 2: Did we get to the root of like what happened? Like, gosh,

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Speaker 2: what happened?

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Speaker 3: I don't know what the Why are you looking at

356
00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:35,160
Speaker 3: me googling? I noticed?

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Speaker 1: Because I refuse to google it because that's not gonna

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Speaker 1: be in my browser history.

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Speaker 3: That is not so Josh, go ahead, let us know

360
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Speaker 3: what you found.

361
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Speaker 5: All I see from first of incognito mode. Thanks shout

362
00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:50,720
Speaker 5: out to Matt. I can't get that in my search history.

363
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Speaker 3: Crazy.

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Speaker 5: So basically a crypto group is claiming responsibility for throwing

365
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Speaker 5: the sex toys on the court.

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Speaker 3: Wait, a group actually claimed that they did it. A

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00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:04,360
Speaker 3: crypto group like o this was terrorism? What was this

368
00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:07,160
Speaker 3: crypto Bros Or something like that.

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Speaker 5: I guess they want to It's a marketing stunt pretty much,

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Speaker 5: just to get the worried out on their campaign. But

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Speaker 5: obviously the dildo is trumping the actual marketing campaign because

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Speaker 5: I just learned about this when I googled it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, this is where we were also arrested. Yeah, two

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Speaker 3: people was arrested.

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Speaker 7: Two people were arrested. The name of the crypto coin

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Speaker 7: is Green dil Do Coin.

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Speaker 6: For whatever fucking reason, people are freaked out, you know

378
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Speaker 6: what I'm saying. That's the new phrase the young people

379
00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:38,960
Speaker 6: are saying. These people are freaked out. You know what

380
00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:41,760
Speaker 6: I'm saying, the freak Why would you even do that?

381
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Speaker 6: But that's what it's called. And they make it's a

382
00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:49,080
Speaker 6: meme coin. I don't know, and it's intended to be lighthearted, funny,

383
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Speaker 6: and they claim responsibility.

384
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Speaker 7: But two people did get arrested. Twenty three year old

385
00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:54,200
Speaker 7: just did it.

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Speaker 6: July twenty ninth at an Atlanta game and then an

387
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Speaker 6: eighteen year old was arrested August fifth for another one.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it happened three times. I think three times.

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Speaker 2: We have the mass dildo throwing. Yeah, serial did throw

390
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Speaker 2: out of mass.

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Speaker 3: And these things are not cheap from wait, shrip let

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Speaker 3: us what's going right?

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Speaker 7: It's an investment that you make. You know what I'm

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Speaker 7: saying you.

395
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Speaker 6: You're not getting a dial though for under sixty nine

396
00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:31,480
Speaker 6: ninety nine and with inflation, it could be about one hundred.

397
00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:33,119
Speaker 3: And fifty and yeah, and.

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Speaker 7: Six weeks just to throw it.

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Speaker 1: So it was one at each game or it was

400
00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:45,080
Speaker 1: like they was holding like hurling dildos. I'm dead serious.

401
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Speaker 6: It was just one one at each game. Just one, yeah,

402
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:51,240
Speaker 6: just one. Now they ain't balling like that. The green

403
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:54,480
Speaker 6: Dildo coin must not be going on if they.

404
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Speaker 2: Because I don't even though I can't even what the

405
00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:04,280
Speaker 2: quest happening, ain't no question, I just don't know where

406
00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:07,520
Speaker 2: we all normally marketing strategy. I guess it has us

407
00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:08,560
Speaker 2: talking about it, right.

408
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:12,840
Speaker 3: Yeah it does. But it's disrespectful man for their livelihood

409
00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:14,640
Speaker 3: is throwing.

410
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Speaker 1: The assumption that that's a good I just think it's stupid,

411
00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:21,480
Speaker 1: like I just think it's like, I don't think.

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Speaker 3: It was a good marketing. That's why they wanted to respectful, man,

413
00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:25,760
Speaker 3: all those reasons.

414
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Speaker 5: If you're marketing your business and then you're being disrespectful

415
00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:32,760
Speaker 5: on top of that, especially for this league where they

416
00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:35,440
Speaker 5: are right now finding for equal pay, well equal pay,

417
00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:38,560
Speaker 5: but they're finding for money or getting proper ad revenue

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Speaker 5: a revenue.

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Speaker 3: I just think it's wildly disrespectful.

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Speaker 1: And I was going to say something, but I had

421
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Speaker 1: to kind of take it back because I was going

422
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Speaker 1: to say, you can't get good marketing by being disrespectful

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Speaker 1: to a group of people.

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Speaker 3: But if you look at.

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Speaker 1: Where America is now, that's exactly what that is, literally

426
00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:57,920
Speaker 1: what Trump has built everything on. It's just disrespecting people,

427
00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:00,600
Speaker 1: and it's been good marketing because people talk about it. So,

428
00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:03,640
Speaker 1: I mean, I guess in their eyes it makes sense.

429
00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:05,920
Speaker 1: I just it just seems stupid and low hanging fruits,

430
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Speaker 1: and I don't know, it's just corny.

431
00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:12,040
Speaker 6: Yeah. I I didn't see the second dude who did it,

432
00:19:12,119 --> 00:19:14,199
Speaker 6: but the first guy, he looks exactly like the.

433
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:17,960
Speaker 7: Kind of dude who with the deal on his pot boy.

434
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Speaker 3: He's a fat boy. He looks like Mulley.

435
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:23,800
Speaker 7: Drinks Mountain dew all day.

436
00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:27,480
Speaker 2: He sits in front of his computer, bad sisteric acne.

437
00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:28,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, they paid him.

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Speaker 1: I guarantee you that the Dildo company paid him to

439
00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:34,960
Speaker 1: go do it. And he was just like, okay, I'll

440
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:37,159
Speaker 1: do it. Like he's probably not even part of the company.

441
00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:39,600
Speaker 1: And now he's arrested and now he's probably pissed. Yeah,

442
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Speaker 1: just like the people at the Capitol.

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Speaker 3: They ban book bags from certain games too because of that.

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00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:47,040
Speaker 4: I mean I should have been banned already.

445
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:51,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, their clear bag. Anyway, this whole.

446
00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:53,760
Speaker 3: Thing's stupid, bro. Yeah, you can still get it in there.

447
00:19:54,280 --> 00:20:02,440
Speaker 3: You can still get paulus your mouth while we're talking

448
00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:15,560
Speaker 3: about Dudo. Yo, she got it. That one got that.

449
00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:20,639
Speaker 6: So we're talking about midlife crisis today and somebody that

450
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:22,720
Speaker 6: we all know, I don't know if we love him,

451
00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:23,359
Speaker 6: but we know him.

452
00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:25,320
Speaker 7: You can just going through a mid life crisis. Just

453
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:26,080
Speaker 7: lost his job.

454
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:31,280
Speaker 6: Shannon Sharp lost his job at ESPN after he had

455
00:20:31,359 --> 00:20:35,000
Speaker 6: to settle a fifty million dollar lawsuit with his twenty

456
00:20:35,119 --> 00:20:39,120
Speaker 6: year old ex girlfriend and apparently she retired from OnlyFans

457
00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:42,760
Speaker 6: due to this settlement, and he lost his job in

458
00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:45,680
Speaker 6: the meantime. Now, the reason why I wanted to bring

459
00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:49,280
Speaker 6: this up is because Monique months earlier, had went on

460
00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:52,560
Speaker 6: Shape Club Shasha and she tried to convince him that

461
00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:53,879
Speaker 6: he hated to find him.

462
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:54,760
Speaker 7: An older woman.

463
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:57,800
Speaker 3: And he was like, no, no, I don't you know

464
00:20:57,920 --> 00:20:58,440
Speaker 3: how you talk?

465
00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:02,280
Speaker 7: You know, and I just want to say, I just

466
00:21:02,359 --> 00:21:02,840
Speaker 7: want to know, op.

467
00:21:03,359 --> 00:21:06,240
Speaker 6: I know, men, we talk about this sometimes where as

468
00:21:06,359 --> 00:21:08,879
Speaker 6: men age, they have options because they can date younger,

469
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:13,440
Speaker 6: but op, should they actually date in their age range?

470
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:14,200
Speaker 7: Is it safer?

471
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:15,680
Speaker 3: Opro?

472
00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:15,800
Speaker 1: No?

473
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:21,280
Speaker 3: Ops? Should older men date in their age range? I

474
00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:21,840
Speaker 3: have an op.

475
00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:25,560
Speaker 1: Man, you you can't limit somebody to an age range,

476
00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:28,200
Speaker 1: you know, because there are there are people in every

477
00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:32,320
Speaker 1: age rage that are evil, manipulative and destructive. And just

478
00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:34,720
Speaker 1: because she was a younger woman doesn't mean an older

479
00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:37,000
Speaker 1: woman would and did the same thing. I feel like

480
00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:39,680
Speaker 1: he just got to make more better choices. You discernment.

481
00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:43,119
Speaker 3: We talk about this all the time. Number one. I

482
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:45,080
Speaker 3: hate the fact that it's national news, like.

483
00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:48,840
Speaker 1: Realistically, like I don't care, I don't know the details,

484
00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:51,520
Speaker 1: I don't care what he does in this off time.

485
00:21:52,119 --> 00:21:55,200
Speaker 1: I think him being fired though, was warranted, only because

486
00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:57,919
Speaker 1: this was like the second incident where I know there

487
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:00,960
Speaker 1: was something else with like an ig live, and it

488
00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:03,120
Speaker 1: just seems like it just keeps distracting from what he's

489
00:22:03,119 --> 00:22:05,600
Speaker 1: supposed to be doing, which is talking about sports. And

490
00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:07,840
Speaker 1: if you become a detriment to the company, you lose

491
00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:10,480
Speaker 1: your job period. Like it's bad press. But I don't

492
00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:12,000
Speaker 1: care who he dates, so who you sleep, But I don't,

493
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:14,000
Speaker 1: I don't care, Like I just don't care. I just

494
00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:16,800
Speaker 1: hope that he finds peace and using discernment and choosing

495
00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:19,359
Speaker 1: a better woman next time, and hopefully he choose a

496
00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:20,480
Speaker 1: woman he could raise a family with.

497
00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:23,639
Speaker 3: That's just my ap. Like, other than that age, it

498
00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:24,160
Speaker 3: ain't the age.

499
00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:26,119
Speaker 2: It's not the age thing either. Yeah, my ap was

500
00:22:26,119 --> 00:22:29,400
Speaker 2: actually something similar to what you were saying. But at

501
00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:32,440
Speaker 2: some point, when your personal life starts to intervene with

502
00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:35,720
Speaker 2: your with your professional life and it becomes a distraction

503
00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:38,560
Speaker 2: like that in itself, is I think grounds for some

504
00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:41,600
Speaker 2: kind of action, whether it's termination or something, you know,

505
00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:43,440
Speaker 2: especially when you're in the public eye and social media

506
00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:45,000
Speaker 2: likes to just take everything and run with it.

507
00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:45,440
Speaker 3: Yeah.

508
00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:47,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the only app I have because I've never

509
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:48,800
Speaker 2: been a man, so I don't know what it's like

510
00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:51,520
Speaker 2: to have to date older or younger. But yeah, if

511
00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:56,119
Speaker 2: it's distracting from what you're supposed to do as your livelihood, yeah, I.

512
00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:56,919
Speaker 3: Agree with everything.

513
00:22:57,119 --> 00:22:59,280
Speaker 8: Dude just said, like, you're not gonna put an edge

514
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:01,639
Speaker 8: range on any body dating, but is it safe or not?

515
00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:03,119
Speaker 4: You can't say that, So.

516
00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:07,240
Speaker 5: I ain't giving no new information, man, y'all said it all.

517
00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:10,800
Speaker 5: I can't tell him who like, what age, or any

518
00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:13,479
Speaker 5: man for that matter, what age to date? Doesn't make

519
00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:15,879
Speaker 5: any sense because the flip side, no one tells a

520
00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:18,520
Speaker 5: grown woman that she can't date a younger man, so

521
00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:21,600
Speaker 5: that it's no, it's no real issue for me in

522
00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:23,919
Speaker 5: that In that point, he just got to be more responsible, man,

523
00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:25,399
Speaker 5: You got you gotta be more careful.

524
00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:25,560
Speaker 3: Man.

525
00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:28,639
Speaker 5: You deal with millions of dollars bro like, and at that,

526
00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:32,399
Speaker 5: at that point, you can't, you can't. You gotta be

527
00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:35,399
Speaker 5: able to desern what's happening. And and he got a

528
00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:38,840
Speaker 5: warning like Monique came on it and warned him, which

529
00:23:38,920 --> 00:23:41,760
Speaker 5: was crazy. Yeah, you know, you play with fire man,

530
00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:43,480
Speaker 5: you're liable to get burnt.

531
00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:43,600
Speaker 6: Man.

532
00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:45,600
Speaker 1: You brought up a good point though, It's like when

533
00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:48,240
Speaker 1: you represent a brand that's value that millions and millions

534
00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:51,280
Speaker 1: of dollars, and you know that you represent that brand.

535
00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:53,720
Speaker 3: You have to use better discernment for all the things you.

536
00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:57,159
Speaker 1: Do in sexual activity using social media because you do

537
00:23:57,280 --> 00:23:59,320
Speaker 1: represent a brand. And people like to say, like, when

538
00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:01,240
Speaker 1: I ain't doing nothing for no company, that's why you're

539
00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:04,080
Speaker 1: not getting paid the millions he was. And because he

540
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:06,120
Speaker 1: didn't use that the sermon, he lost it. So that's

541
00:24:06,119 --> 00:24:07,680
Speaker 1: the only thing I'm sad about. You never want to

542
00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:09,080
Speaker 1: see somebody lose their livelihood.

543
00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:11,159
Speaker 8: I feel like the first time he did it, it

544
00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:12,919
Speaker 8: was like, all right, cool there, there should have been

545
00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:15,040
Speaker 8: some change, but yeah, he profited off of it. He

546
00:24:15,119 --> 00:24:18,119
Speaker 8: started getting sex pill ads on his show you Know What? You,

547
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:20,440
Speaker 8: so why would he be careful the second time?

548
00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:20,760
Speaker 1: You Know What?

549
00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:25,359
Speaker 8: Immediately after the first one started advertising sex pills. So

550
00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:28,000
Speaker 8: he's profiting off of his behavior. So there's no jeopardy

551
00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:28,320
Speaker 8: for him.

552
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:28,840
Speaker 4: Really.

553
00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:31,639
Speaker 3: I never even thought about that, but you are absolutely right.

554
00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:34,399
Speaker 1: Once the ig live thing happened, he got a he

555
00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:36,840
Speaker 1: got a warning from ESPN, but he didn't lose his job.

556
00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:39,440
Speaker 3: But in his mind, he's like, this, wasn't that beast

557
00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:41,160
Speaker 3: to let me continue in that behavior.

558
00:24:41,359 --> 00:24:43,240
Speaker 5: I feel you on that it didn't come off across

559
00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:46,040
Speaker 5: as intentional, and I think that's what the issue is. Like, Yeah,

560
00:24:46,359 --> 00:24:48,919
Speaker 5: it seemed like a legit mistake. I don't know how

561
00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:52,040
Speaker 5: you make a mistake like that why, But it didn't

562
00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:56,720
Speaker 5: seem like it was an actual publicity stunt. The younger

563
00:24:56,960 --> 00:25:00,560
Speaker 5: the younger girls situation is a bit different, man, Like,

564
00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:04,600
Speaker 5: you just open yourself up to so many either accusations

565
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:10,159
Speaker 5: or there's just such a disconnect with age ranges in general,

566
00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:14,399
Speaker 5: like grown, he's older than me and she's younger than me.

567
00:25:14,640 --> 00:25:16,960
Speaker 5: Right there, there's so much difference there. So I think

568
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:18,720
Speaker 5: once you do that, you just open yourself up to

569
00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:21,200
Speaker 5: so much that you have to walk.

570
00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:23,359
Speaker 3: So let me get a.

571
00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:26,240
Speaker 1: Question, though, what if she was older and still the

572
00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:29,080
Speaker 1: same woman, would it still be the same backlash or

573
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:31,320
Speaker 1: is it because she's younger and making these claims. Because

574
00:25:31,359 --> 00:25:34,119
Speaker 1: my thing is, if she's forty five and making the

575
00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:35,960
Speaker 1: same claims, I don't think people are gonna say, oh,

576
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:38,040
Speaker 1: she's a forty five young woman. They're gonna still say

577
00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:40,560
Speaker 1: he wasn't abused or whatever it was that they were saying.

578
00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:41,800
Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying, It's just not gonna be

579
00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:42,760
Speaker 4: as bad because she's.

580
00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:45,600
Speaker 5: Twenty exactly, and I think that's where you fall into

581
00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:49,200
Speaker 5: the issues that she's twenty, So the optics of it

582
00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:52,440
Speaker 5: all makes everything look worse, Like I mean, it is

583
00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:53,200
Speaker 5: sexual assault.

584
00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:56,280
Speaker 3: It is like battery and emotional distress.

585
00:25:56,359 --> 00:25:58,439
Speaker 5: You can't do that with a woman at any age, right,

586
00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:01,560
Speaker 5: But the fact that she's money it makes you look

587
00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:05,080
Speaker 5: like you're more manipulating her in that situation as opposed

588
00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:08,040
Speaker 5: to just like y'all just had disagreements with it, and

589
00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:11,640
Speaker 5: she was, Yeah, it doesn't.

590
00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:13,600
Speaker 6: Seem like he's getting a lot of backlash, like as

591
00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:15,640
Speaker 6: an abuser, it seems like people are like, you're dumb

592
00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:16,280
Speaker 6: as hell.

593
00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:17,240
Speaker 4: For pretty much.

594
00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:21,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, it is kind of overshadowed. I forgot that it

595
00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:23,080
Speaker 2: was even like an abuse claiming there. I thought it

596
00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:25,600
Speaker 2: was just the age difference. You know.

597
00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:28,600
Speaker 1: Well, I think I think from what I saw a

598
00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:30,640
Speaker 1: little bit of it, they were going back and forth

599
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:33,440
Speaker 1: of whether it was abused or not. They're both engaging

600
00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:38,240
Speaker 1: in sexually aggressive behavior and then now she tried to

601
00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:40,840
Speaker 1: make him abuse, but it.

602
00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:42,040
Speaker 4: Was consensual for a while.

603
00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:44,240
Speaker 8: So based on timelines, I don't know how careful he

604
00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:45,920
Speaker 8: was going to be if he was doing that prior

605
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:46,879
Speaker 8: to being at ESPN.

606
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:50,359
Speaker 3: Yes, that's a good that's a good point too.

607
00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:52,120
Speaker 4: Either way, just stay away.

608
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:56,840
Speaker 5: Stay and who man, he's settled, so you can't really

609
00:26:56,920 --> 00:26:59,520
Speaker 5: blame him at this point, he's not proven guilty at all.

610
00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:00,520
Speaker 3: Settlement.

611
00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:02,959
Speaker 2: So with the overarching topic here for me, whether you're

612
00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:04,600
Speaker 2: a man or a woman, if you are of a

613
00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:09,639
Speaker 2: certain age forties, fifties, sixties, don't you realize or believe

614
00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:12,200
Speaker 2: that there may be some repercussions if you're dating somebody

615
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:15,399
Speaker 2: vastly decades younger than you, like, is that not a

616
00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:18,000
Speaker 2: thought or is it just like, hey, well I'm going

617
00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:19,680
Speaker 2: to get what I want and they're gonna get what

618
00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:22,920
Speaker 2: they want. So, you know, I just wonder what the

619
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:23,639
Speaker 2: mindset is.

620
00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:26,400
Speaker 1: I think it varies from person to person. Some people

621
00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:29,200
Speaker 1: don't have the same values. So for example, I look

622
00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:30,879
Speaker 1: at a twenty year old girl and that looks like

623
00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:34,040
Speaker 1: a child to me, Like this, I'm just just a

624
00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:37,040
Speaker 1: child to me. But for some people it's like she's twenty,

625
00:27:37,320 --> 00:27:41,000
Speaker 1: she's legal, she can make her decisions, and if that's

626
00:27:41,119 --> 00:27:43,400
Speaker 1: their mentality, then that's just what they think.

627
00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:43,840
Speaker 2: Right, you know.

628
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:47,920
Speaker 6: So yeah, what can you what can you really get

629
00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:50,120
Speaker 6: out of a relationship with a twenty year old as

630
00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:53,240
Speaker 6: an almost sixty year old man, right exactly what we

631
00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:56,080
Speaker 6: got it was doing right exactly, Get off the pills,

632
00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:58,520
Speaker 6: get off the honey pack. You freaked out? Do you

633
00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:01,800
Speaker 6: know what I'm saying? Everybody's freaked out?

634
00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:04,880
Speaker 4: Everybody ever, say somebody who.

635
00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:07,560
Speaker 3: I got to learn this.

636
00:28:09,359 --> 00:28:13,040
Speaker 2: Shadow Listen. It's too much, too much to keep track of.

637
00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:17,840
Speaker 2: But you know too, that kingdom comes, we will be

638
00:28:19,359 --> 00:28:21,080
Speaker 2: so we're gonna spiral back and do we have any

639
00:28:21,119 --> 00:28:22,679
Speaker 2: more opera or we're gonna lead.

640
00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:24,920
Speaker 7: Into Yeah, let's leading topic of the day.

641
00:28:25,359 --> 00:28:29,040
Speaker 6: I feel like that's that's a real major public midlife

642
00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:32,400
Speaker 6: crisis that's happening right before our eyes. But millennials, we're

643
00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:34,879
Speaker 6: kind of getting to that age. Well, y'all, are you

644
00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:41,440
Speaker 6: know what I'm saying? I'm on, we're getting to that

645
00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:45,440
Speaker 6: age where midlife crisis starts to creep in. Typically the

646
00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:48,960
Speaker 6: mid life crisis occurs around forty to sixty years old.

647
00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:50,280
Speaker 3: So what do you think?

648
00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:52,520
Speaker 7: Like, man, where how are y'all feeling?

649
00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:53,160
Speaker 3: You know what?

650
00:28:53,280 --> 00:28:56,760
Speaker 2: When the topic came up as we were brainstorming, and

651
00:28:56,840 --> 00:28:58,560
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, mid life cricess Okay, So when I

652
00:28:58,640 --> 00:29:02,360
Speaker 2: hit that point, and I was like, oh shit, I'm

653
00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:05,480
Speaker 2: at that point. If the life expectancy for most people

654
00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:07,760
Speaker 2: is like, what's seventy six or something like that is

655
00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:11,000
Speaker 2: what I research, then yeah, I'm pretty much right at

656
00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:13,840
Speaker 2: the mid life. But it makes more sense to me

657
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:18,440
Speaker 2: now when people celebrate turning forty nowadays, whereas back in

658
00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:19,840
Speaker 2: the day you used to see it as like, oh

659
00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:23,200
Speaker 2: my god, forty is so old. Now, people who make

660
00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:25,560
Speaker 2: it to the fourth floor we almost rejoice in the

661
00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:28,240
Speaker 2: fact that we've come to the point where we've lived

662
00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:32,160
Speaker 2: enough life where we feel like we haven't handle on things,

663
00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:34,840
Speaker 2: we understand how the world works, and because of that,

664
00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:38,200
Speaker 2: we're now not giving a fuck, Like we are literally

665
00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:42,040
Speaker 2: adjusting the way that we've done things to better suit

666
00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:44,880
Speaker 2: us moving forward. You also realize that this is the

667
00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:48,320
Speaker 2: second half of life. Life is so fleeting. You never

668
00:29:48,440 --> 00:29:51,040
Speaker 2: know when your last day will be. So it's like, Yo,

669
00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:54,600
Speaker 2: forget everything that I was taught. Forget trying to people please,

670
00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:57,000
Speaker 2: because where has that gotten me in life. I'm gonna

671
00:29:57,000 --> 00:30:00,280
Speaker 2: do what I want. I don't really care the brink

672
00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:03,360
Speaker 2: of perimenopause, Like, there's so many bigger fish to fry

673
00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:05,800
Speaker 2: at this point that I'm just like, yo, oh menopause.

674
00:30:05,880 --> 00:30:09,640
Speaker 2: Oh jeez yo. Midlife clarity. Baby. That's when it hit

675
00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:11,520
Speaker 2: me when we were having the conversation. I'm like, this

676
00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:14,520
Speaker 2: is midlife clarity. It's not a crisis when you have

677
00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:17,360
Speaker 2: a handle on what exactly you know is happening in

678
00:30:17,480 --> 00:30:20,040
Speaker 2: your life. If you create those boundaries, you know, you

679
00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:22,360
Speaker 2: do the things you want to do. You say, I'm

680
00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:24,040
Speaker 2: not gonna wait, I'm gonna book the flight, I'm gonna

681
00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:25,920
Speaker 2: take the trip, I'm gonna meet up with this friend.

682
00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:29,280
Speaker 2: I'm gonna love on my man some more because I'm

683
00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:29,920
Speaker 2: halfway through.

684
00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:31,960
Speaker 1: I think Josh brought up a good point when he

685
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:35,360
Speaker 1: said mortality. I didn't even consider that. When I was thirteen,

686
00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:37,160
Speaker 1: I wasn't thinking about death like that.

687
00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:39,280
Speaker 3: But at forty, I like.

688
00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:42,480
Speaker 1: We just went to see my family for a family

689
00:30:42,520 --> 00:30:44,760
Speaker 1: reunion down in Florida. Yes, and I saw all my

690
00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:47,360
Speaker 1: aunts and uncles and family for the first time since

691
00:30:47,480 --> 00:30:47,920
Speaker 1: last year.

692
00:30:48,440 --> 00:30:49,720
Speaker 3: And you can tell people.

693
00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:52,480
Speaker 1: Who've aged, Yeah, And I kind of lost it a

694
00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:54,680
Speaker 1: little bit, and I cried leaving. I was holding my

695
00:30:54,760 --> 00:30:56,840
Speaker 1: aunt and I was cry leaving because I'm watching people

696
00:30:56,880 --> 00:31:00,600
Speaker 1: who I grew up, who were like strong moving around

697
00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:03,480
Speaker 1: who are like not moving at all. You know, my

698
00:31:03,520 --> 00:31:06,080
Speaker 1: aunt Debbie's in a wheelchair. You know, my aunt was

699
00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:09,600
Speaker 1: an elite athlete, played volleyball and basketball in college, and

700
00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:10,680
Speaker 1: now she's moving around.

701
00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:14,080
Speaker 3: She had hip surgery. You know, my dad is sixty four.

702
00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:17,840
Speaker 1: Now I think it's like yo, like yeah, you know,

703
00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:21,040
Speaker 1: the people around me who I see may not always

704
00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:24,080
Speaker 1: be here. Let me put more emphasis on the things

705
00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:26,640
Speaker 1: that matter, right, Like Kadina and I talk about it

706
00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:29,360
Speaker 1: all the time, being intentional about spending time with friends

707
00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:32,360
Speaker 1: and family. You know that also comes with what people

708
00:31:32,440 --> 00:31:34,880
Speaker 1: call a mid life crisis, but we call midlife clarity

709
00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:38,720
Speaker 1: because running to that job is no longer as important

710
00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:39,200
Speaker 1: as it was.

711
00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:42,120
Speaker 3: Like for me, it's not like I want to spend

712
00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:42,960
Speaker 3: time with my kids.

713
00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:45,120
Speaker 1: I want to spend time with my friends and my

714
00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:47,080
Speaker 1: family because I don't ever want to get the phone

715
00:31:47,120 --> 00:31:48,880
Speaker 1: call that so and so is no longer here and

716
00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:51,600
Speaker 1: I say, dang, I was supposed to see them and

717
00:31:51,760 --> 00:31:52,200
Speaker 1: I didn't.

718
00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:54,720
Speaker 2: Yep, that happened with my uncle Paul. Remember he was

719
00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:56,560
Speaker 2: supposed to get down here that summer, get down here,

720
00:31:56,640 --> 00:31:59,360
Speaker 2: and all the other riff raff got in the way

721
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:01,800
Speaker 2: of him. Coming here. He passed unexpectedly, and it's like, damn,

722
00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:03,920
Speaker 2: I was robbed at that moment. So yeah, that's a

723
00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:06,760
Speaker 2: good point. I didn't think about the morti morutality of

724
00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:09,520
Speaker 2: it all, but yeah, seeing your family age and get

725
00:32:09,560 --> 00:32:12,960
Speaker 2: older and knowing that they were the young, vibrant ones,

726
00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:14,840
Speaker 2: like now we know weird ones that's having to put

727
00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:18,120
Speaker 2: on Thanksgiving and Christmas. We even said recently, was it

728
00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:19,880
Speaker 2: last Christmas? I think my sister and I were here

729
00:32:19,920 --> 00:32:21,760
Speaker 2: getting stuff together for the holiday, and we're like, man,

730
00:32:21,840 --> 00:32:24,520
Speaker 2: it doesn't feel like it used to feel like that

731
00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:27,960
Speaker 2: that magic around Christmas, though it's still there because we're

732
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:30,040
Speaker 2: creating it for our children. It doesn't feel the same

733
00:32:30,080 --> 00:32:31,920
Speaker 2: as when we were younger, but that's because we're now

734
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:34,920
Speaker 2: the generation that has to put on all of the festivities.

735
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:37,120
Speaker 2: We have to cook the meals, like that torch has

736
00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:40,920
Speaker 2: been passed because the generation before us are now starting

737
00:32:40,920 --> 00:32:41,360
Speaker 2: to slow down.

738
00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:42,120
Speaker 7: Yeah, we ain't using that.

739
00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:49,120
Speaker 2: They ain't not listen, you know what I'm saying.

740
00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:52,480
Speaker 1: There's something here on the astrable part. It says not

741
00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:57,520
Speaker 1: a clinical diagnosis. While a midlife crisis is a recognized phenomenon,

742
00:32:57,640 --> 00:32:59,840
Speaker 1: it's not a recognized psychological disorder.

743
00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:02,440
Speaker 3: Do you know why I wanted to point this out?

744
00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:07,400
Speaker 2: What midlife crisis being a psychological distor it's not okay.

745
00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:10,880
Speaker 1: Okay, Which goes back to what I initially said, right,

746
00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:14,720
Speaker 1: it's all us being conditioned to think one thing, and

747
00:33:14,880 --> 00:33:17,600
Speaker 1: the minute you don't want to no longer think or

748
00:33:17,840 --> 00:33:20,440
Speaker 1: behave in a way that everybody wants.

749
00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:22,080
Speaker 2: You everyone deems normal.

750
00:33:22,360 --> 00:33:26,640
Speaker 1: They say you're going through a midlife crisis, although there's

751
00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:30,280
Speaker 1: no studies, in no medicine that says that that's what's happening.

752
00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:33,200
Speaker 1: Society is telling you, which is also another way of

753
00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:37,240
Speaker 1: bullying people into saying, Hey, you're behaving in a fashion

754
00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:39,920
Speaker 1: or a manner that we deem that's not acceptable for

755
00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:42,720
Speaker 1: us as a society, and if you don't fall in line,

756
00:33:42,760 --> 00:33:46,120
Speaker 1: we're going to label you and ostracize you. I think

757
00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:48,600
Speaker 1: it's important that we stop doing that to each other.

758
00:33:49,120 --> 00:33:51,320
Speaker 1: When you see a friend that's of a certain age

759
00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:55,880
Speaker 1: starting to make decisions and choices for themselves, don't ostracize

760
00:33:55,920 --> 00:33:58,160
Speaker 1: them and make them feel like something's wrong with them.

761
00:33:58,600 --> 00:34:01,280
Speaker 1: Allow them to discover who they want to be and accepted.

762
00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:03,320
Speaker 1: And I just want to make that clear, Like when

763
00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:05,800
Speaker 1: I read here that it's not recognized. It was like

764
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:08,799
Speaker 1: being if it's not recognized and it's not a real thing,

765
00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:10,120
Speaker 1: it's something we just say.

766
00:34:10,520 --> 00:34:10,680
Speaker 3: Right.

767
00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:12,600
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying, and what I was going

768
00:34:12,680 --> 00:34:15,279
Speaker 2: to add to what you said. You're talking about not

769
00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:18,279
Speaker 2: moving in alignment with what everyone else is doing, but

770
00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:21,600
Speaker 2: it's also deviating from what people see as your norm.

771
00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:27,000
Speaker 2: So it's like used to seeing Josh like like this,

772
00:34:27,320 --> 00:34:30,719
Speaker 2: and now she's doing something that's so it's like, oh,

773
00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:33,360
Speaker 2: let's label this a mid life force, whereas Josh is

774
00:34:33,400 --> 00:34:35,160
Speaker 2: probably like, nah, fuck y'all. I'm gonna do what I

775
00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:37,560
Speaker 2: want to do right now because for so long I

776
00:34:37,680 --> 00:34:39,920
Speaker 2: have been I haven't been doing it. I've been putting

777
00:34:39,960 --> 00:34:42,560
Speaker 2: myself on the back burner for everybody else. I'm gonna

778
00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:44,080
Speaker 2: pull the trigger on something I want to do because

779
00:34:44,080 --> 00:34:45,000
Speaker 2: I always wanted to do it.

780
00:34:45,239 --> 00:34:48,800
Speaker 5: I noticed my wife, like, you know, you've been together

781
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:51,160
Speaker 5: for such a long time and then you guys are

782
00:34:51,239 --> 00:34:53,680
Speaker 5: just like on a path like together, right, and you

783
00:34:53,760 --> 00:34:56,640
Speaker 5: know sometimes you might do things that differently. But I've

784
00:34:56,719 --> 00:35:02,520
Speaker 5: watched her evolve into she wants to do right And

785
00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:05,359
Speaker 5: at first that was me, like I'm just looking at

786
00:35:05,400 --> 00:35:08,440
Speaker 5: it like, nah, we gotta, we gotta do it like this.

787
00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:12,040
Speaker 5: But over time, you see, like you can't hold anybody

788
00:35:12,160 --> 00:35:14,640
Speaker 5: from doing whatever they want to do. Like if somebody

789
00:35:14,719 --> 00:35:16,799
Speaker 5: wants to do something because they're at a certain age

790
00:35:16,840 --> 00:35:20,080
Speaker 5: and because they're tired of what society might say, or

791
00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:23,960
Speaker 5: friends might say, a church might say, whoever, like family

792
00:35:24,040 --> 00:35:28,240
Speaker 5: might say, you realize, like their happiness is more important

793
00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:30,080
Speaker 5: than what we think might be right.

794
00:35:30,320 --> 00:35:34,239
Speaker 1: How did you come to that? Because most can't. That's

795
00:35:34,320 --> 00:35:38,520
Speaker 1: when it took time. It took time, and then it also.

796
00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:43,640
Speaker 5: I'm also experiencing it in certain areas as well, so

797
00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:46,600
Speaker 5: I might not it might not be as an extreme,

798
00:35:46,840 --> 00:35:52,799
Speaker 5: you know, as mine or hers hers her crisis, if

799
00:35:52,840 --> 00:35:54,880
Speaker 5: you will, I won't say it's a crisis, but her

800
00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:58,719
Speaker 5: choices might not be as extreme as mine. But I've

801
00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:01,000
Speaker 5: noticed I've had that same thing too, and I'm like, yo,

802
00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:03,040
Speaker 5: I want to do this. Why am I not doing it?

803
00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:06,800
Speaker 5: Which is funny because Matt and I went to Jamaica

804
00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:09,719
Speaker 5: back in twenty twenty two. We went with a front

805
00:36:09,760 --> 00:36:12,120
Speaker 5: of ours Curve shout out to Curve. He has a

806
00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:16,719
Speaker 5: villa out in Treasure Beach. Call Amelia's go check that

807
00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:19,480
Speaker 5: out if y'all looking for a really nice vacation in Jamaica.

808
00:36:19,560 --> 00:36:20,800
Speaker 5: But we went out there to go check out his

809
00:36:20,840 --> 00:36:24,000
Speaker 5: spot and we were just having a conversation about family,

810
00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:26,440
Speaker 5: and he was like, Yo, you know what you need

811
00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:26,640
Speaker 5: to do.

812
00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:28,400
Speaker 3: Bro. He was like, yo, you need to live like

813
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:34,200
Speaker 3: your dad is dead, right, And that's extreme. It was crazy, right.

814
00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:38,520
Speaker 5: But he spoke to me because I'm having conversations about

815
00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:41,279
Speaker 5: things that I'm not doing because of the influence my

816
00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:42,360
Speaker 5: dad has in my life.

817
00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:47,000
Speaker 3: Oh, it just hit me there you go.

818
00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:52,040
Speaker 5: So it put things to perspective for me back then

819
00:36:52,360 --> 00:36:55,720
Speaker 5: that I'm moving in such a way where I'm using

820
00:36:56,239 --> 00:37:00,160
Speaker 5: his lens, I'm using my dad as a barometer, well

821
00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:00,719
Speaker 5: should I do this?

822
00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:02,279
Speaker 3: And should I do that? Or should I do this?

823
00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:05,960
Speaker 5: Or should And the reality is as a grown man,

824
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:09,719
Speaker 5: I shouldn't. No, I got my own choices to make.

825
00:37:09,840 --> 00:37:12,520
Speaker 5: I got my own things to do, right, And when

826
00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:16,120
Speaker 5: you see that when he had that conversation with me

827
00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:17,840
Speaker 5: about what I should do, and then you look at

828
00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:20,279
Speaker 5: your wife and like, yo, nah, you need to move

829
00:37:20,440 --> 00:37:21,960
Speaker 5: like nobody.

830
00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:23,440
Speaker 3: Else really matters.

831
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:27,600
Speaker 5: You need to move like everything that you want to do,

832
00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:29,000
Speaker 5: you should just go ahead, good, go ahead.

833
00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:30,279
Speaker 3: You know how profound that is.

834
00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:33,400
Speaker 1: Think about how we're raising the boys. I'll tell Jackson

835
00:37:33,440 --> 00:37:36,600
Speaker 1: to do something. Jackson will say to me, Dad, what

836
00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:38,080
Speaker 1: do you think? My first thing is, why are you

837
00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:40,839
Speaker 1: asking me what I think? When you have to start

838
00:37:40,920 --> 00:37:44,960
Speaker 1: making decisions for yourself you're fourteen. It's like, I'm trying

839
00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:47,319
Speaker 1: to teach him to live like that while I'm here,

840
00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:50,120
Speaker 1: so that he doesn't grow up to live like that

841
00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:52,680
Speaker 1: when I you know, because I used to do that

842
00:37:52,760 --> 00:37:54,239
Speaker 1: a lot. I used to do that a lot. I

843
00:37:54,360 --> 00:37:56,600
Speaker 1: used to consider like and it wasn't just my father,

844
00:37:57,120 --> 00:37:58,480
Speaker 1: but it was like, my mom taught me how to

845
00:37:58,560 --> 00:37:58,719
Speaker 1: do this.

846
00:37:58,880 --> 00:37:59,480
Speaker 3: My dad told me.

847
00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:01,000
Speaker 1: Even a lot of the things I said early in

848
00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:04,759
Speaker 1: dead ass podcasts, even even now, my dad told me

849
00:38:05,080 --> 00:38:07,600
Speaker 1: my dad taught me. Remember I taught I talked about

850
00:38:07,680 --> 00:38:09,399
Speaker 1: finding shiit all the time. I said, all the time.

851
00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:13,680
Speaker 1: My father told me that you got to pay for everything. Yo,

852
00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:15,520
Speaker 1: your wife shouldn't have to do this. Your wife shouldn't

853
00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:17,840
Speaker 1: have to do that. And then as we got married,

854
00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:20,080
Speaker 1: I started realizing, like, wait, my dad was telling me

855
00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:23,040
Speaker 1: not to have these conversations with my mom because he

856
00:38:23,200 --> 00:38:25,279
Speaker 1: was handling and holding onto all of the stress to

857
00:38:25,320 --> 00:38:25,560
Speaker 1: take it.

858
00:38:25,600 --> 00:38:26,040
Speaker 3: Off of her.

859
00:38:26,719 --> 00:38:29,360
Speaker 1: It was better for me to talk to my spouse

860
00:38:29,840 --> 00:38:32,120
Speaker 1: and we could figure it out together. And that was

861
00:38:32,239 --> 00:38:34,080
Speaker 1: just one thing that my dad told me that I

862
00:38:34,280 --> 00:38:36,960
Speaker 1: changed that helped benefit me. But now that I think

863
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:38,920
Speaker 1: about it, if I would have just lived my life

864
00:38:39,160 --> 00:38:41,640
Speaker 1: like my father was dead, not you know, knock on

865
00:38:41,680 --> 00:38:42,319
Speaker 1: wood on, not.

866
00:38:42,480 --> 00:38:45,040
Speaker 8: Literally yet no, no, no, we can go to literally

867
00:38:45,120 --> 00:38:47,839
Speaker 8: my father died at nineteen. I've never said this out loud,

868
00:38:47,960 --> 00:38:50,680
Speaker 8: but literally probably a week after he died. In my mind,

869
00:38:50,719 --> 00:38:53,200
Speaker 8: I told myself, your life just changed, and life is

870
00:38:53,280 --> 00:38:54,200
Speaker 8: different now that he's dead.

871
00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:55,040
Speaker 4: Better act like it.

872
00:38:55,400 --> 00:38:57,759
Speaker 1: That's so profound though that you said that, though, But

873
00:38:57,840 --> 00:39:01,160
Speaker 1: it's like really like like like oh, like an epiphany

874
00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:01,719
Speaker 1: that you said that.

875
00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:04,719
Speaker 8: Your life literally changes once you start acting like, yo,

876
00:39:04,840 --> 00:39:06,799
Speaker 8: my father's not here. And I wasn't a kid who

877
00:39:06,880 --> 00:39:09,600
Speaker 8: was looking for my father's approval all that type of stuff.

878
00:39:09,840 --> 00:39:11,879
Speaker 8: But there's a there's a difference when you know he's

879
00:39:11,920 --> 00:39:14,120
Speaker 8: there and you're cognizantly thinking about that.

880
00:39:14,239 --> 00:39:16,600
Speaker 2: So it's like a comfort level assion that you feel

881
00:39:16,840 --> 00:39:19,160
Speaker 2: because you have your parents as like a backup.

882
00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:22,360
Speaker 5: I wouldn't says for me. It's not comfort for me.

883
00:39:22,560 --> 00:39:26,040
Speaker 5: It's making your decision, making decisions based on if my

884
00:39:26,200 --> 00:39:28,560
Speaker 5: dad would approved or not got it right.

885
00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:29,480
Speaker 3: Yes, it is.

886
00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:32,840
Speaker 5: It is living in the shadow of your parents, or

887
00:39:32,880 --> 00:39:34,960
Speaker 5: living in the shadow of your friends, or living in

888
00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:39,360
Speaker 5: a shadow of expectations you have to from personally. And

889
00:39:39,480 --> 00:39:41,759
Speaker 5: I feel like I am in a sort of mid

890
00:39:41,920 --> 00:39:44,480
Speaker 5: like midlife crisis, not in a negative it doesn't have

891
00:39:44,520 --> 00:39:47,040
Speaker 5: a negative kind of takes to what I'm dealing with.

892
00:39:47,560 --> 00:39:51,400
Speaker 5: But I need to make decisions that that feel right

893
00:39:51,520 --> 00:39:54,160
Speaker 5: to me and not based off of how everyone else

894
00:39:54,239 --> 00:39:58,279
Speaker 5: feels right. And that's that's the crisis. It's not that

895
00:39:58,400 --> 00:40:00,320
Speaker 5: I need to go buy a lambo or need to

896
00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:03,960
Speaker 5: go pierce my nose or do these other things. But

897
00:40:04,160 --> 00:40:06,799
Speaker 5: I need to just make decisions based off of how

898
00:40:07,280 --> 00:40:12,040
Speaker 5: I feel. And it doesn't really matter what anybody else says, because.

899
00:40:12,560 --> 00:40:15,440
Speaker 2: This is my life and having similar upbringings, Josh, like

900
00:40:15,520 --> 00:40:18,400
Speaker 2: you and I just a very Caribbean household. That like

901
00:40:18,520 --> 00:40:21,759
Speaker 2: breaking yourself of the shackles of what everyone else is

902
00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:23,160
Speaker 2: going to think. Is like, what are some of the

903
00:40:23,239 --> 00:40:25,920
Speaker 2: most crippling feelings that you could feel? If you're not

904
00:40:26,080 --> 00:40:28,480
Speaker 2: able to do that, because you're always going to have

905
00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:29,520
Speaker 2: that in the back of your head.

906
00:40:29,800 --> 00:40:31,560
Speaker 5: And that's where the optics come in, is that you're

907
00:40:31,560 --> 00:40:34,959
Speaker 5: having a crisis. Once you step out of those that reality.

908
00:40:34,640 --> 00:40:36,880
Speaker 1: That norm Yeah, and I'll tell you the minute you

909
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:40,000
Speaker 1: move like that, your life can become better. In high school,

910
00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:42,440
Speaker 1: I had a full scholarship to go to Stonybrook. I

911
00:40:42,560 --> 00:40:44,960
Speaker 1: chose to walk on the hostraal. People thought I was nuts.

912
00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:47,200
Speaker 1: I wanted to do it my way though I didn't

913
00:40:47,200 --> 00:40:49,080
Speaker 1: want to do it the way other people said. Right.

914
00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:51,319
Speaker 1: I had an opportunity to start working at Hostro when

915
00:40:51,320 --> 00:40:54,640
Speaker 1: I graduated as an assistant athletic director, but I chose

916
00:40:54,719 --> 00:40:56,320
Speaker 1: to be a fridge and try out in the NFL

917
00:40:56,920 --> 00:40:59,920
Speaker 1: because I didn't want to do what everybody thought I

918
00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:00,520
Speaker 1: should do.

919
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:01,640
Speaker 2: Or what was easy.

920
00:41:01,680 --> 00:41:03,880
Speaker 1: And it worked out for me. It was more difficult

921
00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:05,400
Speaker 1: to go my own way. I'm not going to sit

922
00:41:05,480 --> 00:41:06,319
Speaker 1: here and say it's easy.

923
00:41:06,719 --> 00:41:09,720
Speaker 2: In social media. Yes, the social media example, we wouldn't

924
00:41:09,719 --> 00:41:12,040
Speaker 2: be here if we didn't think. For you didn't to

925
00:41:12,120 --> 00:41:13,920
Speaker 2: have the foresight to say, you know, let's do this,

926
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:16,239
Speaker 2: because I would have been like, no, but my mom.

927
00:41:16,200 --> 00:41:16,960
Speaker 3: Going to think that.

928
00:41:17,080 --> 00:41:19,000
Speaker 1: Josh says that really made the most sense, and in

929
00:41:19,160 --> 00:41:23,319
Speaker 1: Matt doubling down. You can't look at your life through

930
00:41:23,320 --> 00:41:25,520
Speaker 1: your father's lands. You want to know why the world

931
00:41:25,640 --> 00:41:28,400
Speaker 1: is evolving. Right, It's almost like the Old Testament in

932
00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:31,359
Speaker 1: the New Testament. Right, if we lived by the Old

933
00:41:31,440 --> 00:41:34,759
Speaker 1: Testament in the Bible, then if something happens to me,

934
00:41:34,880 --> 00:41:35,719
Speaker 1: you belong to Brian.

935
00:41:36,560 --> 00:41:39,400
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying. The Old Testament in the

936
00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:41,160
Speaker 3: Bible belong to my.

937
00:41:42,719 --> 00:41:45,440
Speaker 2: Doing it. I'm not going I would stay right here,

938
00:41:46,440 --> 00:41:47,960
Speaker 2: no friends, bro, but I'm staying right here.

939
00:41:48,360 --> 00:41:51,560
Speaker 3: I'm pretty sure, Brian, I'm much.

940
00:41:58,120 --> 00:41:59,279
Speaker 2: Thanks, but no.

941
00:42:00,320 --> 00:42:04,279
Speaker 1: But seriously, though, the way the world evolves, if we

942
00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:07,399
Speaker 1: continuously look at the world through our parents' lens, will

943
00:42:07,480 --> 00:42:10,640
Speaker 1: always be behind the same way our children will always

944
00:42:10,680 --> 00:42:12,799
Speaker 1: behind if they look at the world through our lens

945
00:42:12,880 --> 00:42:15,480
Speaker 1: like that, Right, there was a breakthrough. I didn't want

946
00:42:15,520 --> 00:42:17,200
Speaker 1: to hear it when you said, like, my father's dead.

947
00:42:17,200 --> 00:42:18,399
Speaker 1: The first thing they came to me was like, why

948
00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:22,800
Speaker 1: somebody got die all the time? But you're absolutely right though, Yeah.

949
00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:25,480
Speaker 6: Wow, that's actually super I feel like being a queer person,

950
00:42:25,640 --> 00:42:28,560
Speaker 6: it kind of forces you out of living through your

951
00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:29,759
Speaker 6: your parents'.

952
00:42:29,520 --> 00:42:32,200
Speaker 3: Approval because you have for a life, absolutely.

953
00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:34,960
Speaker 6: You have to kind of reckon with you're living a

954
00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:37,600
Speaker 6: life that they don't necessarily approve of, and you have

955
00:42:37,760 --> 00:42:40,440
Speaker 6: to kind of you got to decide, like do I

956
00:42:40,520 --> 00:42:42,000
Speaker 6: want to live the life that they want me to live,

957
00:42:42,080 --> 00:42:44,320
Speaker 6: or do I want them to be a part of

958
00:42:44,400 --> 00:42:46,800
Speaker 6: my life the way that I'm I'm living it. So

959
00:42:47,239 --> 00:42:49,200
Speaker 6: I think I came out to my parents when I

960
00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:51,600
Speaker 6: was like twenty eight, and for a long time I

961
00:42:51,760 --> 00:42:54,200
Speaker 6: was like, well, I'll come out to them when you

962
00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:56,840
Speaker 6: know this happens, or when this happens. But then it

963
00:42:56,960 --> 00:42:59,120
Speaker 6: came to a point where it's like, we can either

964
00:42:59,160 --> 00:43:03,319
Speaker 6: have a relationship that is genuine and full today.

965
00:43:03,520 --> 00:43:05,239
Speaker 7: Or it might be too late at.

966
00:43:05,160 --> 00:43:10,040
Speaker 2: Some point, or we'll have a false exactly if you

967
00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:11,520
Speaker 2: can't be truthfully who you are.

968
00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:14,680
Speaker 6: Yeah, and so with that, and because you know, I

969
00:43:14,760 --> 00:43:16,840
Speaker 6: think when you have parents who have never done the

970
00:43:16,920 --> 00:43:21,439
Speaker 6: things that you have done, they also give you more

971
00:43:21,719 --> 00:43:25,360
Speaker 6: kind of independence to show them what the world is.

972
00:43:26,880 --> 00:43:28,400
Speaker 1: Okay, because you came out and told them this is

973
00:43:28,440 --> 00:43:30,359
Speaker 1: what I want to do, and since they automatically knew

974
00:43:30,400 --> 00:43:33,319
Speaker 1: that that's something I've never done, it was, well, you've

975
00:43:33,320 --> 00:43:34,560
Speaker 1: shown me, Well, right.

976
00:43:34,640 --> 00:43:36,040
Speaker 7: Hell, we don't know, you know.

977
00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:38,439
Speaker 2: So it's like sink or swim. Yeah, so I'm gonna

978
00:43:38,440 --> 00:43:40,279
Speaker 2: put you out on this limb and if it works

979
00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:42,160
Speaker 2: and if you're okay and if you're happy. Kind of

980
00:43:42,200 --> 00:43:43,680
Speaker 2: like what we're going through with our parents having to

981
00:43:43,760 --> 00:43:46,320
Speaker 2: like parent our parents now, it's like they have to

982
00:43:46,440 --> 00:43:50,040
Speaker 2: see that we've been successful in this route to then say, Okay,

983
00:43:50,080 --> 00:43:52,560
Speaker 2: well maybe I'll I'll take your advice on this because

984
00:43:52,880 --> 00:43:54,719
Speaker 2: they're so stuck in how they do things.

985
00:43:55,440 --> 00:43:57,359
Speaker 3: You know, and imagine trying to live your life through

986
00:43:57,440 --> 00:43:58,359
Speaker 3: that person's lens.

987
00:43:58,520 --> 00:44:02,239
Speaker 5: That's the person you say yourself over a failure, you know,

988
00:44:02,840 --> 00:44:04,640
Speaker 5: a failure if you try to live through that because

989
00:44:04,640 --> 00:44:05,440
Speaker 5: they don't know nothing.

990
00:44:05,960 --> 00:44:07,160
Speaker 3: That is a fact, right.

991
00:44:07,360 --> 00:44:11,440
Speaker 5: Their job is to teach you, to to let you go,

992
00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:14,120
Speaker 5: for you to not experience things on your own. But

993
00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:17,320
Speaker 5: what we do for me, especially is they've taught me.

994
00:44:17,760 --> 00:44:20,400
Speaker 5: Now I'm relying on what they've taught me and holding

995
00:44:20,480 --> 00:44:21,160
Speaker 5: on to it, you know.

996
00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:24,640
Speaker 7: What I mean. Yeah, So here's another perspective about the

997
00:44:24,680 --> 00:44:25,360
Speaker 7: midlife crisis.

998
00:44:25,400 --> 00:44:27,879
Speaker 6: Most of the time, we think about midlife crisis as

999
00:44:28,120 --> 00:44:31,000
Speaker 6: when someone has lived a traditional life and now they're

1000
00:44:31,040 --> 00:44:32,880
Speaker 6: in their forties and they want to get a motorcycle

1001
00:44:32,960 --> 00:44:34,960
Speaker 6: or they want to die. They hear they want to

1002
00:44:35,040 --> 00:44:37,400
Speaker 6: day a younger person, But what about a person like

1003
00:44:37,520 --> 00:44:40,000
Speaker 6: me nowhere near forty?

1004
00:44:42,160 --> 00:44:49,160
Speaker 3: I wouldn't say nowhere nowhere fucking yeah and a half.

1005
00:44:51,200 --> 00:44:54,839
Speaker 6: But see that I lost my train of thought trying

1006
00:44:54,840 --> 00:44:59,560
Speaker 6: to be young. Oh yeah, somebody that liked me that's

1007
00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:04,959
Speaker 6: approaching forty in about a decade, who's like, not married,

1008
00:45:05,040 --> 00:45:06,880
Speaker 6: doesn't have kids, and you're kind of having a mid

1009
00:45:06,960 --> 00:45:09,799
Speaker 6: life crisis, Like, well, then what do I do if

1010
00:45:09,840 --> 00:45:12,879
Speaker 6: I'm not gonna have kids, if I'm not gonna get married.

1011
00:45:12,680 --> 00:45:15,360
Speaker 3: Like, do I let go of this idea? Do I

1012
00:45:15,920 --> 00:45:18,080
Speaker 3: you know, let go with the idea?

1013
00:45:18,440 --> 00:45:18,640
Speaker 7: Yeah?

1014
00:45:18,640 --> 00:45:20,680
Speaker 3: Because think about it, the idea was everything. That was

1015
00:45:21,200 --> 00:45:25,200
Speaker 3: what was the movie Inception, Remember Inception. The idea of

1016
00:45:25,800 --> 00:45:26,520
Speaker 3: Inception was.

1017
00:45:26,520 --> 00:45:29,000
Speaker 1: That they could plant an idea in your mind and

1018
00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:32,279
Speaker 1: make you believe that you thought about it on your own.

1019
00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:35,800
Speaker 1: That's social conditioning. It was made into a movie. But

1020
00:45:35,920 --> 00:45:39,240
Speaker 1: that's what people do to each other, right. They constantly

1021
00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:41,279
Speaker 1: repeat things to you and how you should live, how

1022
00:45:41,360 --> 00:45:43,520
Speaker 1: you should be, what you should think, what you should eat,

1023
00:45:43,840 --> 00:45:46,120
Speaker 1: And it gets to a point where you start thinking that, yeah,

1024
00:45:46,160 --> 00:45:48,279
Speaker 1: I want to do all of this. Yeah, until you

1025
00:45:48,360 --> 00:45:50,040
Speaker 1: get older and to the point now where you are

1026
00:45:50,120 --> 00:45:51,640
Speaker 1: in your life and you like, I never wanted to

1027
00:45:51,680 --> 00:45:53,200
Speaker 1: do that, I don't want to do this, and I

1028
00:45:53,280 --> 00:45:54,760
Speaker 1: don't think these things are important.

1029
00:45:55,040 --> 00:45:59,799
Speaker 2: I applaud Actually this generation and the generation after us.

1030
00:46:00,200 --> 00:46:03,320
Speaker 2: I'm seeing a lot more people being vocal about, for example,

1031
00:46:03,520 --> 00:46:06,920
Speaker 2: not wanting children, like that's what we have seen, that's

1032
00:46:06,960 --> 00:46:10,440
Speaker 2: what we're accustomed to. Is that's a succession. You grow up,

1033
00:46:10,480 --> 00:46:12,239
Speaker 2: you get married, you have kids, you live a life.

1034
00:46:12,680 --> 00:46:14,880
Speaker 2: There's a lot of people that are just like I

1035
00:46:15,160 --> 00:46:17,320
Speaker 2: know for a fact that I don't want to have

1036
00:46:17,440 --> 00:46:18,480
Speaker 2: children for all these reasons.

1037
00:46:18,560 --> 00:46:20,480
Speaker 1: But I will say this though, they don't want to

1038
00:46:20,520 --> 00:46:27,799
Speaker 1: have children because of the amount of like there's such

1039
00:46:27,800 --> 00:46:32,040
Speaker 1: a bad narrative around families and children now that now

1040
00:46:32,239 --> 00:46:36,160
Speaker 1: having a family is no longer as important because conditionally

1041
00:46:36,600 --> 00:46:39,279
Speaker 1: they've been telling people for the last two decades, like

1042
00:46:39,680 --> 00:46:42,680
Speaker 1: you are more important than your family. It's all then

1043
00:46:42,719 --> 00:46:45,680
Speaker 1: about you. You you you that now we as a

1044
00:46:45,760 --> 00:46:48,759
Speaker 1: culture of people don't value the things that really make

1045
00:46:48,880 --> 00:46:51,319
Speaker 1: us happy. If you think about it, I enjoy being

1046
00:46:51,360 --> 00:46:53,839
Speaker 1: around my family. I love my kids, right, And when

1047
00:46:53,840 --> 00:46:55,799
Speaker 1: I hear people say I don't want to have kids

1048
00:46:55,840 --> 00:46:58,160
Speaker 1: because of the way I was raised. I'm like, dang,

1049
00:46:58,280 --> 00:47:01,600
Speaker 1: that means someone socially can conditioned you to not want family.

1050
00:47:01,840 --> 00:47:03,279
Speaker 3: You don't even really believe.

1051
00:47:03,080 --> 00:47:06,000
Speaker 1: That yourself, But it's because you were raised poorly and

1052
00:47:06,080 --> 00:47:07,920
Speaker 1: because no one took care of you while you were

1053
00:47:07,920 --> 00:47:08,200
Speaker 1: a child.

1054
00:47:08,280 --> 00:47:10,080
Speaker 3: You're like, I'm not doing the same thing. So I

1055
00:47:10,120 --> 00:47:11,160
Speaker 3: think it goes both ways.

1056
00:47:11,200 --> 00:47:13,080
Speaker 1: But I will say this though, you are absolutely right

1057
00:47:13,440 --> 00:47:16,120
Speaker 1: about them being honest about it early, as opposed to

1058
00:47:16,200 --> 00:47:19,000
Speaker 1: doing like our generation did, which was just get married,

1059
00:47:19,120 --> 00:47:19,960
Speaker 1: have kids.

1060
00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:21,879
Speaker 3: And then fuck those kids off.

1061
00:47:22,040 --> 00:47:24,480
Speaker 1: Because that's what a lot of if you go back

1062
00:47:24,520 --> 00:47:27,160
Speaker 1: and look at the nineties two thousands, there were broken

1063
00:47:27,239 --> 00:47:30,879
Speaker 1: people having families because they were socially conditioned to think

1064
00:47:30,960 --> 00:47:33,400
Speaker 1: that by this age, I have to have a family,

1065
00:47:33,480 --> 00:47:35,480
Speaker 1: I have to have kids. Then the kids came and

1066
00:47:35,560 --> 00:47:39,480
Speaker 1: you let the kids be raised by TV, social media outside.

1067
00:47:39,600 --> 00:47:41,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's reasons. I was seeing a couple of people say.

1068
00:47:41,640 --> 00:47:44,239
Speaker 2: Some people just were admittedly like, I'm selfish. I don't

1069
00:47:44,239 --> 00:47:45,880
Speaker 2: want to be on anybody else's time. I don't want

1070
00:47:45,880 --> 00:47:48,600
Speaker 2: anybody relying on me. This world is now so fucked

1071
00:47:48,640 --> 00:47:50,479
Speaker 2: up that I don't want to bring children into this world.

1072
00:47:51,200 --> 00:47:56,120
Speaker 2: They're expensive, they cried, and I'm like yeah, and I'm

1073
00:47:56,200 --> 00:47:58,640
Speaker 2: like shout out to y'all for knowing that's exactly what

1074
00:47:58,760 --> 00:48:00,799
Speaker 2: you don't want. But I guess triple. Like you said,

1075
00:48:00,840 --> 00:48:03,279
Speaker 2: once you reach a certain age, if you're not checking

1076
00:48:03,360 --> 00:48:05,560
Speaker 2: these boxes based off of timeline or what you've been

1077
00:48:05,600 --> 00:48:08,200
Speaker 2: conditioned to believe that you should want, it's like, now's

1078
00:48:08,200 --> 00:48:10,160
Speaker 2: the time to kind of have the conversation or start

1079
00:48:10,200 --> 00:48:12,360
Speaker 2: to scramble. I know some women who are approaching forty

1080
00:48:12,440 --> 00:48:14,200
Speaker 2: or in their early forties that are like, I gotta

1081
00:48:14,239 --> 00:48:15,840
Speaker 2: freeze my eggs now. I got to put them aside

1082
00:48:15,920 --> 00:48:18,319
Speaker 2: just in case there's Those are the conversations that I'm

1083
00:48:18,360 --> 00:48:20,359
Speaker 2: in now perimenopause and talking about all the things that's

1084
00:48:20,360 --> 00:48:22,520
Speaker 2: happening at this age. So there is kind of like

1085
00:48:22,600 --> 00:48:25,520
Speaker 2: a scramble. I think that happens when you approach forty,

1086
00:48:25,680 --> 00:48:30,200
Speaker 2: that midlifetime where it's like, let me reassess what's important

1087
00:48:30,200 --> 00:48:32,560
Speaker 2: in life, the things that I've achieved, what's left to

1088
00:48:32,600 --> 00:48:35,040
Speaker 2: be achieved, what I've been putting on the back burner.

1089
00:48:35,600 --> 00:48:38,080
Speaker 2: This is the time where that stuff comes to fruition.

1090
00:48:37,960 --> 00:48:38,440
Speaker 7: And that's it.

1091
00:48:38,640 --> 00:48:42,160
Speaker 6: It's a bigger conversation in the mortality piece because you

1092
00:48:42,239 --> 00:48:45,880
Speaker 6: think about legacy, like, you know, when I cease to exist,

1093
00:48:46,040 --> 00:48:48,680
Speaker 6: if I don't have kids, that's the end, you know?

1094
00:48:50,080 --> 00:48:52,040
Speaker 6: Or what if I were to get sick or as

1095
00:48:52,080 --> 00:48:53,239
Speaker 6: I age, who's going to take.

1096
00:48:53,160 --> 00:48:53,520
Speaker 7: Care of me?

1097
00:48:53,719 --> 00:48:56,680
Speaker 6: Like I live alone now, if I'm having a panic attack,

1098
00:48:56,719 --> 00:48:58,880
Speaker 6: I got to figure out who can I call right now?

1099
00:48:59,440 --> 00:49:01,480
Speaker 6: And it's got and somebody's not gonna text me back,

1100
00:49:01,520 --> 00:49:03,400
Speaker 6: then I gotta find another person. Whereas like if you

1101
00:49:03,440 --> 00:49:06,200
Speaker 6: have a partner, you wake that monther fuck up, like, hey, yeah,

1102
00:49:06,320 --> 00:49:07,800
Speaker 6: we are having a panic attack.

1103
00:49:10,239 --> 00:49:14,360
Speaker 3: I like that. I'm gonna use that one. I love that.

1104
00:49:14,560 --> 00:49:16,800
Speaker 2: Or when people say it's damn y'all don't have no daughters,

1105
00:49:17,200 --> 00:49:19,640
Speaker 2: who's gonna take take care of y'all? Because the boys

1106
00:49:19,640 --> 00:49:21,120
Speaker 2: are going to get married and they're gonna move on

1107
00:49:21,239 --> 00:49:22,880
Speaker 2: and have their own lives. Like, who's gonna take a

1108
00:49:22,920 --> 00:49:24,840
Speaker 2: y'all take care of y'all with no daughters?

1109
00:49:24,880 --> 00:49:28,000
Speaker 6: I will say my oldest brother is it takes care

1110
00:49:28,040 --> 00:49:31,319
Speaker 6: of my dad more than Yeah the rest of us too, Yeah,

1111
00:49:31,680 --> 00:49:32,000
Speaker 6: more than I.

1112
00:49:32,160 --> 00:49:34,440
Speaker 1: Because it's not gender specific, No, it's not. It's just

1113
00:49:34,520 --> 00:49:37,000
Speaker 1: we've conditioned to think that, like to be honest. We

1114
00:49:37,440 --> 00:49:39,719
Speaker 1: even condition our boys. I think it's okay to go

1115
00:49:39,800 --> 00:49:41,319
Speaker 1: out and do your thing, but if it was a daughter,

1116
00:49:41,440 --> 00:49:43,799
Speaker 1: we would be conditioning our daughters to be like, make

1117
00:49:43,840 --> 00:49:46,880
Speaker 1: sure y'all take care of dad. I don't think it's

1118
00:49:46,920 --> 00:49:49,480
Speaker 1: gender specific. I do think it's all social conditioning. But

1119
00:49:49,560 --> 00:49:51,160
Speaker 1: listening to some of the stuff y'all said really open,

1120
00:49:51,280 --> 00:49:53,919
Speaker 1: like I'm my mind is going right now. I'm thinking

1121
00:49:53,960 --> 00:49:54,760
Speaker 1: about how I'm.

1122
00:49:55,120 --> 00:49:57,759
Speaker 3: Like the boys. I don't want them to grow up

1123
00:49:57,840 --> 00:49:59,759
Speaker 3: with that that in their mind.

1124
00:50:00,160 --> 00:50:02,440
Speaker 1: And I feel like a lot of things that I've

1125
00:50:02,480 --> 00:50:05,160
Speaker 1: done have created that social conditioning from my boys to

1126
00:50:05,280 --> 00:50:08,080
Speaker 1: look for me for everything, and I don't want that.

1127
00:50:08,440 --> 00:50:11,000
Speaker 5: I think it's just independence. I think you have to

1128
00:50:12,160 --> 00:50:14,600
Speaker 5: teach them, but also teach them they need to make

1129
00:50:14,600 --> 00:50:16,480
Speaker 5: their own decisions when it comes down to it all.

1130
00:50:16,680 --> 00:50:21,560
Speaker 5: I mean, I think for me personally, I want to

1131
00:50:21,600 --> 00:50:23,400
Speaker 5: say I grew up a sheltered life, but I mean

1132
00:50:23,480 --> 00:50:27,840
Speaker 5: relative to what the world is, it's sheltered. So I

1133
00:50:28,040 --> 00:50:30,880
Speaker 5: look to the things that my parents taught me. My

1134
00:50:30,960 --> 00:50:33,279
Speaker 5: parents are very conservative. I grew up in a church,

1135
00:50:33,320 --> 00:50:34,600
Speaker 5: so a lot of those things and a lot of

1136
00:50:34,600 --> 00:50:37,400
Speaker 5: the decisions I make in my life are based off

1137
00:50:37,440 --> 00:50:40,279
Speaker 5: of those things. But if you're teaching those things and

1138
00:50:40,480 --> 00:50:43,440
Speaker 5: also independence and make decisions for yourself, I think you

1139
00:50:43,600 --> 00:50:47,239
Speaker 5: give them a healthy start in terms of not necessarily

1140
00:50:48,080 --> 00:50:53,080
Speaker 5: depending on or reflecting on the things that you've taught

1141
00:50:53,080 --> 00:50:55,759
Speaker 5: them to make decisions solely off of that. They got

1142
00:50:55,840 --> 00:50:57,680
Speaker 5: to use other data like where are you at in

1143
00:50:57,760 --> 00:51:01,600
Speaker 5: your life? What do you want for yourself? So me personally,

1144
00:51:01,840 --> 00:51:04,439
Speaker 5: like it took me. I remember I got an airing

1145
00:51:04,440 --> 00:51:08,080
Speaker 5: at eighteen years old, and I hid my damn airing.

1146
00:51:08,200 --> 00:51:10,239
Speaker 5: I got my earring like this day before I went

1147
00:51:10,280 --> 00:51:11,840
Speaker 5: to college or something like that.

1148
00:51:12,160 --> 00:51:15,760
Speaker 3: Oh no, no, I hit my braids. I had braids.

1149
00:51:15,880 --> 00:51:16,880
Speaker 3: I hit my braids.

1150
00:51:17,640 --> 00:51:18,319
Speaker 2: You hit the braids.

1151
00:51:18,360 --> 00:51:20,080
Speaker 3: I hit my braids at a party.

1152
00:51:19,880 --> 00:51:22,360
Speaker 5: At the house, and my god sins, it was always

1153
00:51:22,400 --> 00:51:23,520
Speaker 5: he braided in my head. But I threw a dew

1154
00:51:23,600 --> 00:51:24,399
Speaker 5: rag on and put an ad.

1155
00:51:24,480 --> 00:51:26,960
Speaker 3: One, went to sleep, been there before.

1156
00:51:27,480 --> 00:51:31,360
Speaker 5: My parents drove me to Rhode Island to school, didn't

1157
00:51:31,360 --> 00:51:32,600
Speaker 5: know I have braids under my hat.

1158
00:51:33,320 --> 00:51:35,680
Speaker 3: I get there, I'm like, I got my braids. Now

1159
00:51:36,800 --> 00:51:39,759
Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying, Like, do you.

1160
00:51:39,800 --> 00:51:41,120
Speaker 2: Show them the braids before they left?

1161
00:51:41,200 --> 00:51:41,319
Speaker 6: Oh?

1162
00:51:41,400 --> 00:51:45,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, remember when I got my airring. What did they

1163
00:51:45,760 --> 00:51:48,279
Speaker 3: say they said when they saw your braids? My father

1164
00:51:48,320 --> 00:51:49,719
Speaker 3: didn't say nothing. He says nothing.

1165
00:51:49,760 --> 00:51:51,640
Speaker 2: He just he was probably hot.

1166
00:51:51,640 --> 00:51:53,680
Speaker 3: Going home anywhere. So at this point the judgment, you

1167
00:51:53,760 --> 00:51:55,600
Speaker 3: can feel the judge. You can feel the judgment.

1168
00:51:56,160 --> 00:51:59,480
Speaker 5: That the part where that kid you got to teach them,

1169
00:51:59,520 --> 00:52:01,560
Speaker 5: that end the pendent part, like you're gonna make a decision.

1170
00:52:01,600 --> 00:52:03,799
Speaker 5: You make a decision for this. But here's what here's

1171
00:52:03,840 --> 00:52:06,399
Speaker 5: what I think about what you're doing. But it's your

1172
00:52:06,520 --> 00:52:08,960
Speaker 5: decision to make. And we do that with Jackson.

1173
00:52:09,640 --> 00:52:11,800
Speaker 1: We're good at not Yeah, we're good at not shaming

1174
00:52:11,920 --> 00:52:13,280
Speaker 1: them from making their decisions.

1175
00:52:13,320 --> 00:52:15,600
Speaker 3: It's like, yo, whatever you do, we're going to be

1176
00:52:15,680 --> 00:52:16,120
Speaker 3: in support.

1177
00:52:16,200 --> 00:52:17,920
Speaker 2: I think, did you weigh out all of the options

1178
00:52:17,960 --> 00:52:18,360
Speaker 2: that we do?

1179
00:52:18,520 --> 00:52:19,279
Speaker 3: Do that you see it?

1180
00:52:19,320 --> 00:52:19,960
Speaker 8: I definitely do that.

1181
00:52:20,239 --> 00:52:20,560
Speaker 3: We do that.

1182
00:52:20,600 --> 00:52:22,840
Speaker 8: I don't think you need to worry about I was

1183
00:52:22,880 --> 00:52:25,439
Speaker 8: stressful a little. You're doing too much of the old

1184
00:52:25,480 --> 00:52:27,480
Speaker 8: school way. But I think you still you still need

1185
00:52:27,520 --> 00:52:29,719
Speaker 8: to teach them, and then in that teach and teach them.

1186
00:52:30,080 --> 00:52:31,560
Speaker 8: How would you operate if I'm not here?

1187
00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:33,000
Speaker 4: Like you need to go through this.

1188
00:52:33,120 --> 00:52:33,960
Speaker 3: That's something I say.

1189
00:52:34,040 --> 00:52:35,840
Speaker 4: Think about it, like what if I'm not here to

1190
00:52:35,880 --> 00:52:36,600
Speaker 4: make a decision for you?

1191
00:52:36,680 --> 00:52:38,800
Speaker 3: What would you do? I do say Dad might not

1192
00:52:38,880 --> 00:52:40,560
Speaker 3: be here, that is not going to be here. What

1193
00:52:40,640 --> 00:52:41,040
Speaker 3: would you do?

1194
00:52:41,640 --> 00:52:43,480
Speaker 1: And I do see the panic in their eyes sometimes,

1195
00:52:43,520 --> 00:52:45,400
Speaker 1: but I say, YO, figure it out. That's been our

1196
00:52:45,480 --> 00:52:48,160
Speaker 1: model forever's figure figure it out. That's how you prevent

1197
00:52:48,280 --> 00:52:50,719
Speaker 1: I got my mom and the truth. Oh, I got

1198
00:52:50,760 --> 00:52:52,800
Speaker 1: my more and the truth. And first of all, I

1199
00:52:52,840 --> 00:52:56,360
Speaker 1: want to I want to thank y'all because that statement

1200
00:52:56,640 --> 00:52:59,719
Speaker 1: act like your father is dead, live live like you

1201
00:53:00,200 --> 00:53:01,760
Speaker 1: is that we have to put that on the shirt

1202
00:53:02,320 --> 00:53:06,040
Speaker 1: or something, live like your father's dead, because it really

1203
00:53:06,200 --> 00:53:09,560
Speaker 1: does mean a lot, and it'll dulls people, you know

1204
00:53:09,600 --> 00:53:11,759
Speaker 1: what I'm saying if because if your father's dead, there's

1205
00:53:11,800 --> 00:53:13,799
Speaker 1: nobody to call and for you got to figure it out.

1206
00:53:14,160 --> 00:53:15,839
Speaker 3: You have to trust your own I'm not gonna say

1207
00:53:15,880 --> 00:53:18,279
Speaker 3: my moment of truth until we get there. I'm a

1208
00:53:18,400 --> 00:53:19,759
Speaker 3: hold it. I'm a hold of you.

1209
00:53:19,920 --> 00:53:20,360
Speaker 2: Be excited.

1210
00:53:23,120 --> 00:53:24,920
Speaker 3: I'm thinking about it like that's the point.

1211
00:53:24,760 --> 00:53:27,200
Speaker 5: Of having I didn't It's funny enough I didn't bring

1212
00:53:27,280 --> 00:53:30,400
Speaker 5: it up. I didn't bring that point up for you know,

1213
00:53:30,600 --> 00:53:34,440
Speaker 5: mid life crisis. I think from my perspective, making decisions

1214
00:53:34,560 --> 00:53:37,880
Speaker 5: at this point in my life, it really affects me

1215
00:53:38,080 --> 00:53:41,400
Speaker 5: that my dad is alive and my dad is still present, Like,

1216
00:53:41,480 --> 00:53:42,840
Speaker 5: you know, thank God my dad is alive.

1217
00:53:43,640 --> 00:53:44,960
Speaker 3: I don't want to get to the point where my

1218
00:53:45,080 --> 00:53:47,279
Speaker 3: dad is no longer here. Now I'm like, yeah, now

1219
00:53:47,320 --> 00:53:49,279
Speaker 3: I can do what I want. It's not about that.

1220
00:53:49,400 --> 00:53:52,640
Speaker 5: It's like you want to get to that midlight part

1221
00:53:52,680 --> 00:53:55,640
Speaker 5: in your life and do the things that you always

1222
00:53:55,719 --> 00:53:58,040
Speaker 5: wanted to do that you didn't do before that.

1223
00:53:58,320 --> 00:53:58,640
Speaker 3: That's what.

1224
00:53:59,680 --> 00:54:02,920
Speaker 2: Think about the shackles that we have over our lives

1225
00:54:03,000 --> 00:54:06,120
Speaker 2: where somebody will pass away and then the comment you

1226
00:54:06,239 --> 00:54:08,640
Speaker 2: hear if you do something is such and such as

1227
00:54:08,719 --> 00:54:11,759
Speaker 2: rolling their grave thinking about it, or oh my god,

1228
00:54:11,760 --> 00:54:13,200
Speaker 2: I wish somebody could see this moment.

1229
00:54:14,840 --> 00:54:18,640
Speaker 3: It's like, Josh, that's good.

1230
00:54:19,400 --> 00:54:19,839
Speaker 5: That's good.

1231
00:54:22,960 --> 00:54:25,040
Speaker 3: I'm not doing what I want because of a dead person.

1232
00:54:25,160 --> 00:54:27,000
Speaker 2: But it's the shackles that we have still.

1233
00:54:29,239 --> 00:54:32,959
Speaker 4: Been in school and cr and current mad amounts of debt.

1234
00:54:33,160 --> 00:54:36,040
Speaker 8: If I thought about like that, stay here only because

1235
00:54:36,080 --> 00:54:38,040
Speaker 8: my father would still want me here, No, I was

1236
00:54:38,080 --> 00:54:38,880
Speaker 8: serving no purposely.

1237
00:54:38,960 --> 00:54:40,360
Speaker 4: I want to pursue something I would.

1238
00:54:40,160 --> 00:54:40,600
Speaker 3: Really want to do.

1239
00:54:41,360 --> 00:54:43,360
Speaker 2: Some people are still living with those shackles of what

1240
00:54:43,520 --> 00:54:46,360
Speaker 2: this dead person would It's not only that.

1241
00:54:47,160 --> 00:54:48,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not only that because moms.

1242
00:54:48,840 --> 00:54:52,759
Speaker 1: I see how your mom, in particular, she was very

1243
00:54:53,080 --> 00:54:54,360
Speaker 1: and the one thing I would say about made me

1244
00:54:54,440 --> 00:54:57,000
Speaker 1: creating a foundation for y'all to have substance was.

1245
00:54:57,080 --> 00:54:58,760
Speaker 2: So important paramount.

1246
00:54:58,840 --> 00:55:01,080
Speaker 1: But I also see how sometimes it was it was

1247
00:55:01,200 --> 00:55:02,960
Speaker 1: like it was like shackles to you where you was

1248
00:55:02,960 --> 00:55:04,360
Speaker 1: like I can't do this because of my mom and

1249
00:55:04,400 --> 00:55:05,520
Speaker 1: all the time.

1250
00:55:05,640 --> 00:55:07,280
Speaker 2: I mean, it did save me some for some trouble,

1251
00:55:10,080 --> 00:55:13,160
Speaker 2: like if my mother found out. Yeah, that's that fair

1252
00:55:13,400 --> 00:55:15,239
Speaker 2: alone was enough for me to be like, I'm gonna

1253
00:55:15,239 --> 00:55:16,120
Speaker 2: walk the straight and narrow.

1254
00:55:16,280 --> 00:55:17,440
Speaker 1: That's one thing I want to say too, And we

1255
00:55:17,480 --> 00:55:20,760
Speaker 1: should do another podcast about this. We are not shaming

1256
00:55:20,800 --> 00:55:25,600
Speaker 1: our parents. We are exactly who we are because of

1257
00:55:25,680 --> 00:55:26,160
Speaker 1: our parents.

1258
00:55:26,680 --> 00:55:28,400
Speaker 4: Like I would love to have a podcasts.

1259
00:55:29,000 --> 00:55:31,120
Speaker 1: We have to because there's a lot of parents bashing

1260
00:55:31,200 --> 00:55:33,880
Speaker 1: that goes on and from all of our parents. We

1261
00:55:34,000 --> 00:55:36,320
Speaker 1: look at all of us and how we are. We

1262
00:55:36,560 --> 00:55:38,839
Speaker 1: had to have had good parents in order to be here,

1263
00:55:39,280 --> 00:55:40,799
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. But it's so so fair

1264
00:55:40,840 --> 00:55:42,759
Speaker 1: to say, you know what, I could tweak this so

1265
00:55:42,880 --> 00:55:45,239
Speaker 1: that I could be better for my kids. So I

1266
00:55:45,360 --> 00:55:47,719
Speaker 1: just want to be clear of the times.

1267
00:55:47,480 --> 00:55:47,799
Speaker 4: Right you got.

1268
00:55:49,200 --> 00:55:51,160
Speaker 2: They did the best they could with what they had.

1269
00:55:51,560 --> 00:55:54,839
Speaker 6: You know, I think my mom is gonna live so long,

1270
00:55:55,360 --> 00:55:58,680
Speaker 6: which is great, but every year she's gonna ask me

1271
00:55:58,920 --> 00:56:01,920
Speaker 6: when I'm having a bang, and I'm gonna have to

1272
00:56:02,040 --> 00:56:04,879
Speaker 6: tell her for the next like thirty fucking.

1273
00:56:04,640 --> 00:56:10,120
Speaker 7: Years, I got a green dos on Mo, it's not

1274
00:56:10,280 --> 00:56:10,960
Speaker 7: fucking happening.

1275
00:56:12,360 --> 00:56:15,200
Speaker 6: I'm gonna have the longest mid life crisis just because

1276
00:56:15,200 --> 00:56:18,000
Speaker 6: i'ma have to answer my mom this question for the

1277
00:56:18,040 --> 00:56:18,799
Speaker 6: rest of my life.

1278
00:56:19,520 --> 00:56:21,399
Speaker 3: You don't have to true. You could just be like, look, mom,

1279
00:56:21,880 --> 00:56:24,640
Speaker 3: you see this, this is what I use.

1280
00:56:26,760 --> 00:56:30,680
Speaker 1: You want to have green babies, your plastic babies.

1281
00:56:30,920 --> 00:56:31,799
Speaker 7: I don't care what they.

1282
00:56:31,719 --> 00:56:32,080
Speaker 3: Look like.

1283
00:56:33,920 --> 00:56:36,080
Speaker 7: Anyway, I don't care how to get here?

1284
00:56:36,640 --> 00:56:37,320
Speaker 3: She said that.

1285
00:56:38,040 --> 00:56:40,440
Speaker 7: She said that, She's like, I don't care how you

1286
00:56:40,760 --> 00:56:42,479
Speaker 7: gotta go get a baby from the fire station?

1287
00:56:42,640 --> 00:56:43,000
Speaker 2: You do that?

1288
00:56:44,239 --> 00:56:49,120
Speaker 3: Just go take a baby. You need a kidnapp you're kidnapped?

1289
00:56:49,320 --> 00:56:49,560
Speaker 8: Do that.

1290
00:56:49,920 --> 00:56:50,520
Speaker 7: I won't tell.

1291
00:56:51,320 --> 00:56:52,279
Speaker 2: That's hilarious.

1292
00:56:53,200 --> 00:56:57,400
Speaker 3: That's a good mom right there. That how you get

1293
00:56:57,440 --> 00:56:59,840
Speaker 3: that baby? Go take somebody else, baby, come here with.

1294
00:57:01,800 --> 00:57:05,080
Speaker 2: All right, you're a felon in fact, let's take a

1295
00:57:05,160 --> 00:57:07,000
Speaker 2: quick break. We're gonna pay some bills, and we're gonna

1296
00:57:07,040 --> 00:57:10,760
Speaker 2: come back into the first listener letter of He's in seventeen.

1297
00:57:10,840 --> 00:57:25,840
Speaker 2: Y'all stick around. We are back now with our listening letter,

1298
00:57:26,240 --> 00:57:28,720
Speaker 2: ready to dive in. Maybe all right, Hey ellis Is,

1299
00:57:28,720 --> 00:57:30,640
Speaker 2: I've been watching you both since I was seventeen and

1300
00:57:30,720 --> 00:57:33,640
Speaker 2: now I'm twenty five. That's pretty dope, the fact that

1301
00:57:33,840 --> 00:57:36,240
Speaker 2: like seventeen year olds and tune in. I just want

1302
00:57:36,320 --> 00:57:38,200
Speaker 2: to say how proud I am of everything you've built.

1303
00:57:38,240 --> 00:57:41,000
Speaker 2: You've inspired me in so many ways, especially as I've

1304
00:57:41,080 --> 00:57:44,160
Speaker 2: stepped into my own womanhood. I'm already impressed. Because she

1305
00:57:44,240 --> 00:57:46,200
Speaker 2: us in commas punctuation, she's twenty five.

1306
00:57:46,280 --> 00:57:46,600
Speaker 3: I love it.

1307
00:57:46,720 --> 00:57:54,720
Speaker 7: Well, let's thank the editor for that. She put you on.

1308
00:57:55,200 --> 00:57:56,920
Speaker 3: This whole thing was one run on sentence.

1309
00:57:57,000 --> 00:57:59,560
Speaker 2: It was just I appreciate that, honey, because we've been

1310
00:57:59,640 --> 00:58:01,480
Speaker 2: here like out make me look like I can't read,

1311
00:58:01,480 --> 00:58:04,240
Speaker 2: and I know I could read all right. That inspiration

1312
00:58:04,480 --> 00:58:06,880
Speaker 2: led me to finally share a story I've kept tucked

1313
00:58:06,880 --> 00:58:08,960
Speaker 2: away for a while. I met this guy when I

1314
00:58:09,040 --> 00:58:10,960
Speaker 2: was seventeen and he was twenty one. We dated for

1315
00:58:11,040 --> 00:58:13,640
Speaker 2: a year, but it's been on and off as a

1316
00:58:13,680 --> 00:58:17,080
Speaker 2: situation for the past six years. I know, wow, right

1317
00:58:18,120 --> 00:58:20,920
Speaker 2: back then, I wasn't thinking about stability. I was dating

1318
00:58:21,000 --> 00:58:24,120
Speaker 2: based on looks and vibes, which got me absolutely nowhere.

1319
00:58:24,600 --> 00:58:27,400
Speaker 2: Throughout our relationship, he's cheated on me with multiple women,

1320
00:58:27,600 --> 00:58:31,480
Speaker 2: dabbled in dark magic to manipulate women into sex. What's freely?

1321
00:58:32,840 --> 00:58:35,640
Speaker 1: They can't be a follow up question? Frequently someone dibbled

1322
00:58:35,920 --> 00:58:38,240
Speaker 1: dabbled in dark magic to get women to have sex.

1323
00:58:38,320 --> 00:58:40,600
Speaker 1: You might want to lead it, right, She probably wanted them.

1324
00:58:41,080 --> 00:58:42,840
Speaker 1: She probably is still stuck under the spell.

1325
00:58:43,160 --> 00:58:46,280
Speaker 3: Right, Oh Josh? All right?

1326
00:58:46,360 --> 00:58:51,920
Speaker 2: Well wow, okay, so manipulated women into sex. Yes, really,

1327
00:58:52,520 --> 00:58:56,160
Speaker 2: and even tattooed a woman's birthday on his neck, someone

1328
00:58:56,240 --> 00:58:59,240
Speaker 2: he later claimed, meant nothing to him. And that's just

1329
00:58:59,400 --> 00:58:59,920
Speaker 2: the surface.

1330
00:59:00,200 --> 00:59:01,200
Speaker 7: This is just the surface.

1331
00:59:01,320 --> 00:59:01,560
Speaker 3: Okay.

1332
00:59:02,080 --> 00:59:04,960
Speaker 2: It's honestly painful and embarrassing to admit. Despite it all,

1333
00:59:05,400 --> 00:59:09,120
Speaker 2: I stay connected. But the year. As the years passed,

1334
00:59:09,240 --> 00:59:12,080
Speaker 2: I noticed a pattern, no growth, no car, still living

1335
00:59:12,120 --> 00:59:16,000
Speaker 2: with his mom, always switching golds and chasing different dreams.

1336
00:59:16,320 --> 00:59:19,000
Speaker 2: His upbringing was rough, and I gave him grace, maybe

1337
00:59:19,200 --> 00:59:22,400
Speaker 2: too much. Now at twenty eight, he says he's changed,

1338
00:59:22,520 --> 00:59:24,680
Speaker 2: but he's still in the same place physically and mentally.

1339
00:59:25,040 --> 00:59:27,280
Speaker 2: I care about him deeply, but I've realized I'm not

1340
00:59:27,320 --> 00:59:30,200
Speaker 2: in love with him anymore. I think what has kept

1341
00:59:30,280 --> 00:59:33,480
Speaker 2: me emotionally invested was guilt. Guilt for growing while he

1342
00:59:33,600 --> 00:59:35,800
Speaker 2: stayed stuck. But now I'm in a different season. I

1343
00:59:35,840 --> 00:59:38,360
Speaker 2: got my own apartment, two cars, I'm enrolled in law school,

1344
00:59:38,600 --> 00:59:41,200
Speaker 2: and I'm thriving in my business. I'm proud of how

1345
00:59:41,280 --> 00:59:44,680
Speaker 2: far I've come, but this emotional tie has lingered, and

1346
00:59:45,000 --> 00:59:47,400
Speaker 2: I guess that's why I'm writing to you as a

1347
00:59:47,440 --> 00:59:49,840
Speaker 2: twenty five year old woman trying to choose herself while

1348
00:59:49,920 --> 00:59:53,120
Speaker 2: feeling compassion for someone I've once loved. How do I

1349
00:59:53,240 --> 00:59:53,760
Speaker 2: navigate this?

1350
00:59:54,200 --> 00:59:54,439
Speaker 3: Don't?

1351
00:59:55,600 --> 00:59:57,960
Speaker 2: How do I honor my heart without betraying my growth?

1352
00:59:58,000 --> 01:00:01,720
Speaker 2: May fact your heart? No, just kidding, don't the growth

1353
01:00:01,800 --> 01:00:04,480
Speaker 2: feel better? Thank you both for being a light. I

1354
01:00:04,640 --> 01:00:06,240
Speaker 2: love Any insight you can share.

1355
01:00:07,240 --> 01:00:11,040
Speaker 3: Can go ahead. You're gonna be really profound. I'm not

1356
01:00:11,200 --> 01:00:16,360
Speaker 3: going to be your run run. There's nothing profound to say.

1357
01:00:16,440 --> 01:00:19,840
Speaker 3: He hasn't grown at all, he physically or mentally.

1358
01:00:19,960 --> 01:00:22,840
Speaker 5: As she got get a law degree, she got a car,

1359
01:00:23,000 --> 01:00:25,760
Speaker 5: she got he own apartments, she's doing exactly what she

1360
01:00:25,840 --> 01:00:27,960
Speaker 5: needs to do to level up to gets the next level,

1361
01:00:28,360 --> 01:00:29,080
Speaker 5: and he's holding it.

1362
01:00:29,280 --> 01:00:31,920
Speaker 1: Literally, he's an anchor. You gotta start at the beginning.

1363
01:00:32,320 --> 01:00:34,920
Speaker 1: She was seventeen, he was twenty one. Yes, what were

1364
01:00:34,960 --> 01:00:37,360
Speaker 1: you doing dating a seventeen year old at twenty one?

1365
01:00:37,600 --> 01:00:40,080
Speaker 1: So you were a junior in college? If you was

1366
01:00:40,280 --> 01:00:42,720
Speaker 1: a junior in high school, wow, there's nothing you have

1367
01:00:42,840 --> 01:00:46,840
Speaker 1: in common. He was using black maverage, using black magic,

1368
01:00:47,080 --> 01:00:48,280
Speaker 1: got another woman's name.

1369
01:00:48,240 --> 01:00:49,120
Speaker 3: Tattooed on his neck.

1370
01:00:49,200 --> 01:00:51,960
Speaker 1: These are the issues I have, right because this young

1371
01:00:52,040 --> 01:00:54,440
Speaker 1: lady will say, you know, after gonna be like, niggas

1372
01:00:54,440 --> 01:00:55,040
Speaker 1: ain't shit right.

1373
01:00:55,080 --> 01:00:55,680
Speaker 3: This is a niggas.

1374
01:00:55,720 --> 01:00:58,560
Speaker 1: No, you've seen all the red flags and you still

1375
01:00:58,680 --> 01:01:01,200
Speaker 1: continue to lay down with this dude, and then when

1376
01:01:01,280 --> 01:01:02,880
Speaker 1: something happens, you're gonna blame him.

1377
01:01:03,480 --> 01:01:05,800
Speaker 3: Run like at this point, you can't.

1378
01:01:06,040 --> 01:01:08,920
Speaker 1: You showed us everything that we know was wrong, and

1379
01:01:09,040 --> 01:01:10,640
Speaker 1: we the same people that will tell you, like, you know,

1380
01:01:10,920 --> 01:01:11,400
Speaker 1: sometimes you.

1381
01:01:11,440 --> 01:01:13,960
Speaker 3: Gotta work with red flags. That's not a red flag, man,

1382
01:01:14,240 --> 01:01:19,439
Speaker 3: this is terrible. Dabbled in black magic to manipulate other women.

1383
01:01:19,560 --> 01:01:22,560
Speaker 2: This is emotional, so you're essentially being manipulated. Yes, you

1384
01:01:22,680 --> 01:01:25,760
Speaker 2: know this yes, there's some people also you can still

1385
01:01:25,840 --> 01:01:27,720
Speaker 2: care for it from a distance. Like this person. I

1386
01:01:27,720 --> 01:01:29,200
Speaker 2: don't think you should care for him from a distance.

1387
01:01:29,240 --> 01:01:31,240
Speaker 2: This is somebody that you cut off. And the fact

1388
01:01:31,280 --> 01:01:33,760
Speaker 2: that you are doing all the things to level yourself up,

1389
01:01:34,080 --> 01:01:36,640
Speaker 2: you're putting yourself into a bracket where you attract the

1390
01:01:36,760 --> 01:01:40,720
Speaker 2: kind of person who is your equal. There's nothing else

1391
01:01:40,760 --> 01:01:41,280
Speaker 2: to talk about.

1392
01:01:41,320 --> 01:01:42,000
Speaker 7: Baby. Run.

1393
01:01:42,880 --> 01:01:46,960
Speaker 3: You heard what Josh said. See them run, see them run,

1394
01:01:47,600 --> 01:01:55,040
Speaker 3: see them run. My gun, my guns, guns man. You

1395
01:01:55,080 --> 01:01:56,920
Speaker 3: got too much to offer. We love you, We love you.

1396
01:01:57,000 --> 01:01:58,880
Speaker 3: Got too much to offer, man, And that is a fact.

1397
01:01:58,960 --> 01:02:00,440
Speaker 2: All right, y'all. If you want to be futured as

1398
01:02:00,440 --> 01:02:02,120
Speaker 2: a listener letter, we can't wait to hear from you.

1399
01:02:02,280 --> 01:02:05,440
Speaker 2: Season seventeen. It is just getting started, baby. You can

1400
01:02:05,560 --> 01:02:09,280
Speaker 2: email us at the Ellis Advice at gmail dot com.

1401
01:02:09,480 --> 01:02:12,200
Speaker 3: That is t h E E L l I S

1402
01:02:12,640 --> 01:02:15,760
Speaker 3: A d V I c E at gmail dot com.

1403
01:02:16,080 --> 01:02:18,400
Speaker 2: All right, you have been chomping at the bits to

1404
01:02:18,520 --> 01:02:21,440
Speaker 2: give your moment the truth, Baby, you can get started.

1405
01:02:22,960 --> 01:02:28,240
Speaker 1: Thank you to Josh and Matt for the most clearest

1406
01:02:28,240 --> 01:02:30,120
Speaker 1: amount of clarity being said.

1407
01:02:30,200 --> 01:02:32,440
Speaker 3: Bro, My moment of truth is live your life like

1408
01:02:32,520 --> 01:02:38,360
Speaker 3: your father's death. It's mine, I still begin it's gonna

1409
01:02:38,360 --> 01:02:38,720
Speaker 3: steal it.

1410
01:02:39,360 --> 01:02:42,200
Speaker 1: No, it's only only because and I'm gonna keep it short, bro.

1411
01:02:42,960 --> 01:02:45,680
Speaker 1: We spend so much time holding ourselves to the standard

1412
01:02:45,760 --> 01:02:48,120
Speaker 1: our fathers and the people before us lived in a

1413
01:02:48,200 --> 01:02:51,800
Speaker 1: time that is no longer being lived. We cannot uphold

1414
01:02:51,880 --> 01:02:55,040
Speaker 1: that standard. As times evolve and change, we have to

1415
01:02:55,160 --> 01:02:58,200
Speaker 1: evolve and change, and by holding up their standards, we

1416
01:02:58,640 --> 01:03:02,240
Speaker 1: limit ourselves, and that's why we feel unfulfilled. I did

1417
01:03:02,400 --> 01:03:04,920
Speaker 1: want to ask one thing before we get off. Do

1418
01:03:05,000 --> 01:03:06,360
Speaker 1: you know what your purpose in life is?

1419
01:03:07,640 --> 01:03:08,120
Speaker 2: I think I do.

1420
01:03:08,480 --> 01:03:10,920
Speaker 3: Do you know what your purpose in life is? I

1421
01:03:11,040 --> 01:03:12,760
Speaker 3: think I do? You Do you know what your purpose

1422
01:03:12,800 --> 01:03:14,600
Speaker 3: in life? We're still working on it. Do you know

1423
01:03:14,680 --> 01:03:15,640
Speaker 3: what your purpose in life?

1424
01:03:15,760 --> 01:03:19,160
Speaker 1: I do. I think people need to focus more on

1425
01:03:19,320 --> 01:03:23,440
Speaker 1: what their own individual purpose is rather than what other people.

1426
01:03:23,240 --> 01:03:23,840
Speaker 3: Want them to do.

1427
01:03:25,120 --> 01:03:27,320
Speaker 2: I love that. I think my moment of truth is

1428
01:03:27,920 --> 01:03:31,240
Speaker 2: in order to eradicate the idea of a midlife crisis

1429
01:03:31,440 --> 01:03:35,840
Speaker 2: and having that start living life sooner. Don't wait until

1430
01:03:35,880 --> 01:03:37,640
Speaker 2: you're in your forties to feel like this is the

1431
01:03:37,720 --> 01:03:40,480
Speaker 2: time now that I have to self correct, self regulate,

1432
01:03:40,640 --> 01:03:43,640
Speaker 2: do all the things I didn't do. Start living essentially

1433
01:03:43,760 --> 01:03:47,560
Speaker 2: more in your purpose, or at least seeking that out earlier.

1434
01:03:48,000 --> 01:03:49,880
Speaker 2: Stop living your life where you feel like I'm at

1435
01:03:49,920 --> 01:03:52,080
Speaker 2: this crossroads now and I have to make this rash

1436
01:03:52,200 --> 01:03:55,320
Speaker 2: decision just to feel good because you've been so concerned

1437
01:03:55,320 --> 01:03:57,600
Speaker 2: about making other people feel good for so long. So

1438
01:03:58,320 --> 01:04:00,840
Speaker 2: start doing the thing you want to do now to

1439
01:04:01,000 --> 01:04:04,800
Speaker 2: avoid the midlife clarity slash crisis later.

1440
01:04:04,720 --> 01:04:07,480
Speaker 8: On, I'm gonna repeat the same thing. Live like your

1441
01:04:07,520 --> 01:04:10,800
Speaker 8: father's dead, and I'm also repeat part of what case that.

1442
01:04:11,320 --> 01:04:14,360
Speaker 8: Start making cognizant decisions that I want to do this

1443
01:04:14,480 --> 01:04:17,280
Speaker 8: for my life, not I'm going to do this because

1444
01:04:17,320 --> 01:04:18,800
Speaker 8: somebody else told me this is good for my life.

1445
01:04:19,120 --> 01:04:21,560
Speaker 4: Just start the process. It's gonna be difficult early, but.

1446
01:04:22,040 --> 01:04:24,840
Speaker 3: Just do it. That's that's deep, but that's a fact.

1447
01:04:25,440 --> 01:04:27,240
Speaker 2: Mm hm. Trips, you got anything for this moment of

1448
01:04:27,320 --> 01:04:27,760
Speaker 2: truth time?

1449
01:04:28,000 --> 01:04:28,240
Speaker 3: Yeah?

1450
01:04:28,440 --> 01:04:30,640
Speaker 7: All this ship is made up, so make up your

1451
01:04:30,680 --> 01:04:31,400
Speaker 7: own Yep.

1452
01:04:31,960 --> 01:04:32,640
Speaker 3: I like that trip.

1453
01:04:32,720 --> 01:04:34,479
Speaker 2: Yes, that's so true. We're all here trying to figure

1454
01:04:34,480 --> 01:04:35,160
Speaker 2: out life every day.

1455
01:04:35,200 --> 01:04:36,520
Speaker 5: I was going to say something like that, like this

1456
01:04:36,680 --> 01:04:39,600
Speaker 5: is all. This is guidelines, This is not a script.

1457
01:04:40,040 --> 01:04:43,040
Speaker 5: This is not instructions on what we need to do.

1458
01:04:43,240 --> 01:04:46,320
Speaker 5: So whatever we've learned in life, use it as guide.

1459
01:04:46,600 --> 01:04:48,360
Speaker 5: And you know, when you use a guy, you're putting

1460
01:04:48,360 --> 01:04:50,880
Speaker 5: it the stuff together. You're fixing your your shows up

1461
01:04:50,920 --> 01:04:53,200
Speaker 5: in the crib. Sometimes you toss that you ain't even

1462
01:04:53,240 --> 01:04:55,240
Speaker 5: do whatever you want to do. You might, you might

1463
01:04:55,280 --> 01:04:59,800
Speaker 5: get it right, fall apart, it might fall back, but

1464
01:05:00,040 --> 01:05:01,320
Speaker 5: it was like one hundred dollars of ike.

1465
01:05:01,520 --> 01:05:03,920
Speaker 3: You get another one. That is a fact though, that

1466
01:05:04,080 --> 01:05:04,560
Speaker 3: is a fact.

1467
01:05:05,240 --> 01:05:07,800
Speaker 2: Oh man. Awesome episode, y'all, great way to start the

1468
01:05:07,840 --> 01:05:10,120
Speaker 2: season out. Be sure to find us, y'all on Patreon.

1469
01:05:10,160 --> 01:05:12,520
Speaker 2: There's so many amazing things happening with us in the

1470
01:05:12,560 --> 01:05:15,120
Speaker 2: Patreon family, so stay tuned, and if you're not already

1471
01:05:15,200 --> 01:05:17,640
Speaker 2: a part of Patreon, be sure to join so you

1472
01:05:17,680 --> 01:05:20,320
Speaker 2: can see the After Show as well as more exclusive

1473
01:05:20,680 --> 01:05:23,760
Speaker 2: Ellis Family and Ellis ever After content. And you can

1474
01:05:23,800 --> 01:05:27,440
Speaker 2: find us on social media at Ellis ever After. I'm Kadeen,

1475
01:05:27,480 --> 01:05:28,120
Speaker 2: I am and.

1476
01:05:28,240 --> 01:05:31,000
Speaker 5: I am Daval, I'm on the Score Matt Ellis, and

1477
01:05:31,120 --> 01:05:33,160
Speaker 5: I'm Joshua Underscore Dwayne, and.

1478
01:05:33,240 --> 01:05:37,080
Speaker 6: I'm Trips the Cool TRIBBV, The Cool on Everything.

1479
01:05:37,360 --> 01:05:39,400
Speaker 1: And if you're listening on Apple podcasts, be sure you

1480
01:05:39,520 --> 01:05:43,040
Speaker 1: great with you and subscribe, and also make sure y'all

1481
01:05:43,120 --> 01:05:46,880
Speaker 1: download them episodes Baby download, download.

1482
01:05:46,440 --> 01:05:48,040
Speaker 3: Download, tell a friend to tell a friend, and tell

1483
01:05:48,040 --> 01:05:50,000
Speaker 3: a friend. Yeah, make sure you download them.

1484
01:05:50,600 --> 01:05:51,680
Speaker 2: That will help us out greatly.

1485
01:05:52,520 --> 01:05:56,440
Speaker 6: Ellis ever After is an iHeartMedia podcast. It's hosted by

1486
01:05:56,640 --> 01:06:01,440
Speaker 6: Kadeen and Deval Ellis. It's produced by Triple Video, Production

1487
01:06:01,640 --> 01:06:06,680
Speaker 6: by Joshua Dwane and Matthew Ellis, video editing by Lashan rowe.

1488
01:07:02,800 --> 01:07:15,000
Speaker 4: Kep hast To Different has.

1489
01:07:18,760 --> 01:07:19,920
Speaker 1: Different cans

1490
01:07:29,440 --> 01:07:31,400
Speaker 8: Everything