1 00:00:01,160 --> 00:00:04,040 Speaker 1: All right, it is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. 2 00:00:04,040 --> 00:00:07,680 Speaker 1: And if you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, 3 00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:11,719 Speaker 1: and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM 4 00:00:11,880 --> 00:00:15,560 Speaker 1: dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be 5 00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:19,200 Speaker 1: reading your letter live on the air, just like we're 6 00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:21,919 Speaker 1: gonna read this one right here, right now. You never 7 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:25,320 Speaker 1: know it could be yours, it couldn't be. Buckle up 8 00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:27,720 Speaker 1: and hold on tight. We got it for you here 9 00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:31,120 Speaker 1: it is. Draw up every letter. Thank you, nephew. Subject 10 00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:35,640 Speaker 1: he's broke but generous. Dear Stephen Shirley. My husband and 11 00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:38,440 Speaker 1: I are retired, but I'm in a new career as 12 00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:42,280 Speaker 1: a customer service manager for a retail chain. I wasn't 13 00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:45,040 Speaker 1: ready to be a stay at home pet mom and grandmother, 14 00:00:45,159 --> 00:00:48,280 Speaker 1: so I went back to work full time. My husband 15 00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:51,920 Speaker 1: was a policeman and he took early retirement because he 16 00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:55,440 Speaker 1: needed knee surgery and it slowed him down after the surgery. 17 00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:58,240 Speaker 1: So now he's a referee for the high school games 18 00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:01,080 Speaker 1: here in town. We make a decent living from a 19 00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:04,440 Speaker 1: few different sources, but it is not enough to maintain 20 00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:08,240 Speaker 1: the lifestyle we had before we retired. My husband doesn't 21 00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:11,720 Speaker 1: realize that we're lacking financially, and he hasn't cut back 22 00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:14,360 Speaker 1: on any of the things we did before. I make 23 00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:17,840 Speaker 1: the majority of the money and our retirement checks pay 24 00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:21,240 Speaker 1: our three daughters car notes. We have three girls in college, 25 00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:23,840 Speaker 1: a set of twins that are seniors, in a twenty 26 00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:26,920 Speaker 1: two year old that is in grad school. The rest 27 00:01:26,959 --> 00:01:30,399 Speaker 1: of our money is tied up in tuition and medical bills. 28 00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:34,240 Speaker 1: I want us to downsize our house since we're empty nesters, 29 00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:37,120 Speaker 1: and that will free up some money for my husband, 30 00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:42,120 Speaker 1: who thinks we're still bawling. He is generous with his time, resources, 31 00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:46,280 Speaker 1: and our money. He's always offering to pick up things 32 00:01:46,319 --> 00:01:48,560 Speaker 1: from the store for his mama, and he lets his 33 00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:53,160 Speaker 1: family and friends borrow any and everything we own. This year, 34 00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:57,080 Speaker 1: he is volunteered to smoke turkeys for all of his 35 00:01:57,240 --> 00:02:01,400 Speaker 1: family he has four sisters and his MoMA. Oh, and 36 00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:05,400 Speaker 1: he's included turkeys for two of our neighbors. He said 37 00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:10,040 Speaker 1: he'd buy the turkeys too this year. Turkeys are very expensive, 38 00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:12,840 Speaker 1: so I have issues with him being so generous. I 39 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:16,000 Speaker 1: don't mind him being kind hearted, I just want him 40 00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:19,440 Speaker 1: to reconsider our families needs first. How do I get 41 00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:25,239 Speaker 1: my broke and generous husband to reel it in. You're right, 42 00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:29,200 Speaker 1: You're right. He should put his family first. Food is 43 00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:32,880 Speaker 1: expensive right now, and if he wants to smoke turkeys 44 00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:35,520 Speaker 1: for people, at least the people can buy the turkeys, 45 00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:38,160 Speaker 1: and they can buy the other stuff that goes with it. Well, 46 00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:41,160 Speaker 1: not his mom, but everyone else, the neighbors and all 47 00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:44,760 Speaker 1: of them. They should buy their own stuff. This is 48 00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:47,760 Speaker 1: a time when you guys should be chilling and enjoying life, 49 00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:50,200 Speaker 1: but you still have to work to cover all of 50 00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:54,040 Speaker 1: your expenses. A lot of retired parents wouldn't even pay 51 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:56,160 Speaker 1: their college kids car notes. I mean they would make 52 00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:58,520 Speaker 1: the kids get jobs and pay for their own cars. 53 00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:01,400 Speaker 1: And as far as down sizing, you should go on 54 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:04,600 Speaker 1: ahead and start looking for a smaller house than Maybe 55 00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:07,320 Speaker 1: he would know how serious you are. I don't think 56 00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:10,760 Speaker 1: it's wise to live beyond your means. I think that's 57 00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:14,120 Speaker 1: what you guys are doing. He still thinks you're bawling. 58 00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:16,880 Speaker 1: You make the majority of the money right now, and 59 00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:20,360 Speaker 1: because that's how you get broke for real, you really 60 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:22,800 Speaker 1: really need to sit your husband down and have a 61 00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:27,680 Speaker 1: serious talk about your finances with him before he spends 62 00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:30,840 Speaker 1: all of the money and looks like he's headed that 63 00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:33,080 Speaker 1: way because he doesn't know that you guys don't have 64 00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:37,200 Speaker 1: it like he used to. Steve. You know something, I 65 00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:41,000 Speaker 1: really don't know. I don't really have any advice for 66 00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:44,760 Speaker 1: her to me. This entire letter is a teaching lesson 67 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:48,560 Speaker 1: for all of us. Yeah, because this happens to so 68 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:56,360 Speaker 1: many people. YEA, Yeah, you work your entire life to 69 00:03:56,560 --> 00:04:04,360 Speaker 1: prepare for this retirement. Here's the danger of that. Retirement 70 00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:09,120 Speaker 1: checks usually pay one third of what you can't live on. 71 00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:13,440 Speaker 1: Now that's what your pension is going to be. They're 72 00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:16,400 Speaker 1: gonna send you this money, they say, freely to your 73 00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:20,600 Speaker 1: house after you reach sixty five or retirement age. But 74 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:24,520 Speaker 1: it's money that you've paid in. You've paid in this money, 75 00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:27,039 Speaker 1: they just withheld it from your checks over the years. 76 00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:30,960 Speaker 1: Now they're gonna disperse it to you at a faucet 77 00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:35,080 Speaker 1: leaked pace to the point where you can live. But now, 78 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:38,839 Speaker 1: look at what you gotta do. You gotta down size, 79 00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:43,479 Speaker 1: you gotta cut back, you gotta quit living like you 80 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:47,800 Speaker 1: used to live. You gotta stop being generous as you 81 00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:51,840 Speaker 1: used to be. So instead of addressing this letter, I'm 82 00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:55,159 Speaker 1: addressing this from the standpoint of those of you who 83 00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:58,800 Speaker 1: are looking at retirement, and possibly some of you who 84 00:04:58,839 --> 00:05:02,880 Speaker 1: are in retirement. I can speak on this subject because 85 00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:07,159 Speaker 1: I am of retirement age. Now, before you get to 86 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:09,440 Speaker 1: going with Steve or you got all this and you 87 00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:18,520 Speaker 1: this and you that, why ain't talking to me? Yeah, okay, 88 00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:22,000 Speaker 1: I'm talking to those of you who have a chance 89 00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:25,520 Speaker 1: to look at this thing in a different way. This 90 00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:29,919 Speaker 1: letter to me is a teaching lesson. So this lady 91 00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:34,480 Speaker 1: that both of them retired, but she went back to 92 00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:37,320 Speaker 1: work as a customer service manager because she wasn't ready 93 00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:40,600 Speaker 1: to be a stay home pet mom and grandmama. Your 94 00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:43,320 Speaker 1: husband was a police officer. He took early retirement because 95 00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:45,960 Speaker 1: he messed his knee up and after surgery has slowed 96 00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:49,120 Speaker 1: him down. So now he's a referee for high school 97 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:51,159 Speaker 1: games here in town. He got to do more running 98 00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:54,039 Speaker 1: at the damn game that he did as a police officer. 99 00:05:55,400 --> 00:05:58,200 Speaker 1: Police officers don't change nobody. You've been watching the newsday 100 00:05:58,240 --> 00:06:01,840 Speaker 1: five shots. Now he running up and down the field. 101 00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:05,760 Speaker 1: We make a decent living from a few different sauces, 102 00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:09,640 Speaker 1: but it's not enough to maintain the lifestyle we had 103 00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:14,039 Speaker 1: before we retired. My lord, my lord, So now what's 104 00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:17,200 Speaker 1: the lesson here. Retirement is only gonna lead to you 105 00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:20,560 Speaker 1: having to take on several different sources of income in 106 00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:23,400 Speaker 1: order to live the lifestyle that you used to live. 107 00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:28,800 Speaker 1: Here is the fix for that? Maybe before you retire, everybody, 108 00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:33,640 Speaker 1: we ought to start considering multiple sources of income now, 109 00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:40,279 Speaker 1: so when we get the retirementcing residual income, you better 110 00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:42,680 Speaker 1: preach Steve Harvey different. We'll have part two of your 111 00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:45,760 Speaker 1: response coming up in twenty three minutes after the hour. 112 00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:49,800 Speaker 1: Today's Strawberry letter subjects He's broke but generous. We'll get 113 00:06:49,839 --> 00:06:54,680 Speaker 1: back into it right after this. You're listening to show, 114 00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:57,800 Speaker 1: all right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter. 115 00:06:57,880 --> 00:07:02,599 Speaker 1: The subject he's broke, but I'm using this strawberry letter 116 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:05,920 Speaker 1: as a teaching moment for people. Here's a couple who retired, 117 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:09,080 Speaker 1: put their time in, but then she went back to 118 00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:10,960 Speaker 1: work because she didn't want to be a stay home 119 00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:13,920 Speaker 1: pet mom and grandmama, so she went back to work 120 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,640 Speaker 1: full time. Your husband was a police officer. He took 121 00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:18,160 Speaker 1: her early of your time because he messed up his 122 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:20,880 Speaker 1: knee and he had surgery. Now he's doing high school 123 00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:24,880 Speaker 1: football bells high school games and everything, which is more 124 00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:27,160 Speaker 1: running than he did as a police officer, but at 125 00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:30,480 Speaker 1: least he running from gunfire. So I understand that now. 126 00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:32,800 Speaker 1: She said, we make a decent living from a few 127 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:36,040 Speaker 1: different sources, but it's not enough to maintain the lifestyle 128 00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:40,880 Speaker 1: we had before we retired. Now, my teaching moment here 129 00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:45,840 Speaker 1: is maybe, for those of us who are not retired yet, 130 00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:52,200 Speaker 1: maybe you should consider developing a few different sources for 131 00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:58,680 Speaker 1: income now so when you do retire, you'll be able 132 00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:04,440 Speaker 1: to maintain all surpassed the lifestyle that you're currently accustomed 133 00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:07,960 Speaker 1: to living. Because if you're dependent on a pension, folks, 134 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:11,280 Speaker 1: I learned this when I was selling Amway in my twenties. 135 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:14,280 Speaker 1: A job gives you a pension that will pay you 136 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:17,119 Speaker 1: one third of what you're struggling to live on now. 137 00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:26,200 Speaker 1: My husband doesn't realize that we're lacking financially, and he 138 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:28,720 Speaker 1: hasn't cut back on any of the the things we did before. 139 00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:34,120 Speaker 1: Now I understand that you're married to a generous man. 140 00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:41,240 Speaker 1: He didn't start being generous. He's always pen generous, and 141 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:44,200 Speaker 1: that's one of the things you probably loved about your husband. 142 00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:47,920 Speaker 1: The problem now is because the income isn't the same 143 00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:51,080 Speaker 1: It didn't change the core of him as a person. 144 00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:56,240 Speaker 1: He's still generous. But now you all in a precarious 145 00:08:56,240 --> 00:08:59,680 Speaker 1: position because you got three girls in college, a set 146 00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:03,160 Speaker 1: of two twins, and a twenty two year old that's 147 00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:06,520 Speaker 1: in grad school. And the majority of money that y'all 148 00:09:06,559 --> 00:09:10,559 Speaker 1: retirement checks pay pays for the three daughters car notes. 149 00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:14,520 Speaker 1: That's it. The rest of our money tied up in 150 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:18,840 Speaker 1: tuition and medical bills. Now here's the other part. The 151 00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:21,560 Speaker 1: ladies say, after all these years of working as a 152 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:24,920 Speaker 1: police officer and her retire from her job, I want 153 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:28,560 Speaker 1: us to downsize our house since we empty nests, and 154 00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:31,960 Speaker 1: that will free up some money from my husband. That's cool. 155 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:34,960 Speaker 1: I understand that a lot of people get to retirement 156 00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:37,360 Speaker 1: they downsize because they don't need all the rooms, and 157 00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:40,880 Speaker 1: understand that, and I gotta consider that. That's a real thought. 158 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:48,000 Speaker 1: My don't everybody won't be in on tiny house house. 159 00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:51,240 Speaker 1: I surely out of this mine. Everybody don't want that. 160 00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:57,880 Speaker 1: I already know how I feel about tiny home. I 161 00:09:57,880 --> 00:09:59,760 Speaker 1: had the people on my show when I had a 162 00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:05,040 Speaker 1: talk short. They rolled back in Tom he was the worst. Oh, 163 00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:10,520 Speaker 1: they did you know? He acted like he didn't want 164 00:10:10,559 --> 00:10:13,520 Speaker 1: a tiny house. I ain't ask you to come on show, 165 00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:17,760 Speaker 1: say you, And the more you talked about them tiny 166 00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:21,800 Speaker 1: ass houses, then less I liked them. I'm not a 167 00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:26,080 Speaker 1: tiny house person. Sorry. Tiny homes are fine for some people. 168 00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:28,640 Speaker 1: I there ain't nothing I like. I don't like the 169 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:36,559 Speaker 1: crowded ass house. I don't want to take a bath 170 00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:39,360 Speaker 1: by attaching the dough to the shower and then filling 171 00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:44,240 Speaker 1: it up. Just ain'tor deep down baby like in the bathroom, 172 00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:46,960 Speaker 1: in the kitchen right next to I don't want all that. 173 00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:50,280 Speaker 1: I don't want to open up my toilet. And it's 174 00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:56,679 Speaker 1: a cupboard too. I don't I want my toilet a 175 00:10:56,800 --> 00:11:00,319 Speaker 1: damn toilet. It's food. You gotta keep stuff fit it 176 00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:05,360 Speaker 1: when you ain't using the bad food. What in this toilet? 177 00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:09,760 Speaker 1: I'm probably just supposed to be a toilet. I don't 178 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:17,040 Speaker 1: like multi purpose living. It's a loft during the daytime, 179 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:19,679 Speaker 1: in a bed at night. I got to clear all 180 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:25,040 Speaker 1: this mess off I'm sleeping. I'm sleeping. I don't want 181 00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:27,720 Speaker 1: to clear off nothing for I go to bed. I 182 00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:30,080 Speaker 1: don't even like going in the house. Sometime Marger got 183 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:32,600 Speaker 1: thirty eight pillars on the damn bed. Sometimes I just 184 00:11:32,679 --> 00:11:34,320 Speaker 1: go and lay on top of the pillars. Now she 185 00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:42,400 Speaker 1: made I didn't feel like clearing off the bed. I'm 186 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:44,960 Speaker 1: sitting over here. I'm sitting up here watching TV. Now 187 00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:47,480 Speaker 1: I got to get up because I'm actually sitting on 188 00:11:47,559 --> 00:11:50,040 Speaker 1: top of the trunk and we got to get something out. 189 00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:53,160 Speaker 1: I'm watching the game. I don't want to get up 190 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:58,440 Speaker 1: sitting up being here. Man, we got one damn TV 191 00:11:58,559 --> 00:12:01,480 Speaker 1: on this walling. We got fold remote, and everybody on 192 00:12:01,559 --> 00:12:05,600 Speaker 1: commercial break go watch what they want to watch. That's 193 00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:11,280 Speaker 1: not how I'm living, damn tiny house anyway. That's what 194 00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:16,120 Speaker 1: happened to be downside you. He's generous with his time, 195 00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:21,120 Speaker 1: resources and our money. Now you really mad because he 196 00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:25,480 Speaker 1: bought all these damn people down the street of damn turkey. Yeah, 197 00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:27,480 Speaker 1: and what they ought to do is just simple like 198 00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:31,160 Speaker 1: this right here. He ought to buy one turkey, and 199 00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:34,800 Speaker 1: we're passing our turkey sandwiches on Thanksgiving to the one 200 00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:39,000 Speaker 1: out of this. It'd be my solution. I'm gonna brain 201 00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:41,120 Speaker 1: this turkey. I'm gonna carve it out on the front 202 00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:44,880 Speaker 1: tree lawn until it's gone, and that way you'll be 203 00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:49,680 Speaker 1: able to feed more families. That point, all right, Steve, 204 00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:54,120 Speaker 1: post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter, how much this 205 00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:56,360 Speaker 1: turkey is gonna cost this year? I didn't know they 206 00:12:56,480 --> 00:13:01,280 Speaker 1: was going up. Everything is going up everything. Yeah, where 207 00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:03,320 Speaker 1: it look like we're gonna well, look like y'all gonna 208 00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:05,960 Speaker 1: be doing chicken all right, Like like I was saying 209 00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:09,360 Speaker 1: poster comments on Today's Strawberry Letter. It's Steve Harvey FM 210 00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:12,520 Speaker 1: on Instagram and Facebook, and check out the Strawberry Letter 211 00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:15,880 Speaker 1: podcast on demand now. Coming up at forty six minutes 212 00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:18,720 Speaker 1: after the hour, we got sports talk with Junior Writer. 213 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:22,520 Speaker 1: You're listening to the Dave Harvey Morning Show.