WEBVTT - Is Monogamy Still Dead? “Finding love in the 21st century “ Part 2 0:00:05.480 --> 0:00:07.480 What's good Family, I'm your girl to meet A. D. 0:00:07.640 --> 0:00:11.320 Mallory and it's your boy the General and we're your 0:00:11.320 --> 0:00:14.320 hosts of Street Politicians, the Place in the Streets and 0:00:14.520 --> 0:00:19.160 politics meet, so my st you know, usually we we 0:00:19.160 --> 0:00:22.080 we talk in billy dally about all of the things 0:00:22.120 --> 0:00:24.000 we want to discuss because it's our podcast and we 0:00:24.040 --> 0:00:26.120 can do that. We talked about whatever we want every 0:00:26.160 --> 0:00:30.440 single week. Why this is why we have the Black 0:00:30.480 --> 0:00:35.040 Effect Network where somebody like our brother Charlemagne created a 0:00:35.200 --> 0:00:38.680 platform for us to talk about things and say we want, 0:00:38.720 --> 0:00:40.840 when we want, how we want to be as black 0:00:40.880 --> 0:00:43.520 as we want. And so usually we kick it about 0:00:43.520 --> 0:00:46.320 a bunch of different issues. But we've got three guests 0:00:46.400 --> 0:00:49.519 on today on a panel because we're following up last 0:00:49.640 --> 0:00:53.400 week show where we talked about whether the idea of 0:00:53.400 --> 0:00:56.000 monogamy has become a thing of the past. We talked 0:00:56.040 --> 0:01:02.320 about different types of dating and or marriage style UM, polyamorous, 0:01:02.360 --> 0:01:08.880 I think relationships UM and online dating and so it 0:01:08.959 --> 0:01:13.200 was all women and it's only fair our producers and 0:01:13.319 --> 0:01:15.720 directors and all the folks that help us with our 0:01:15.720 --> 0:01:19.240 show said we need to talk about talk with men 0:01:20.160 --> 0:01:23.080 on this show. And then to continue on in a 0:01:23.200 --> 0:01:27.240 sort of a series dealing with relationships, and we try 0:01:27.280 --> 0:01:29.520 to make it fun and light. But I think that 0:01:29.600 --> 0:01:33.840 it's important for folks to understand one that street politicians 0:01:33.880 --> 0:01:36.319 we've always said we're gonna talk about different things. We're 0:01:36.360 --> 0:01:41.600 not gonna talk about only strictly political issues. We're not 0:01:41.640 --> 0:01:44.720 gonna only talk about who died, who killed who in 0:01:44.760 --> 0:01:47.560 the trauma, Black trauma. That is so much of it. 0:01:47.600 --> 0:01:51.000 We could do every show, every single show, could be 0:01:51.040 --> 0:01:58.360 about people being harmed, people whatever, every show. But um, 0:01:58.400 --> 0:02:01.040 that's not that's not our lives and we cannot be 0:02:01.240 --> 0:02:04.080 boxed into that. We do need to be able to 0:02:04.120 --> 0:02:07.000 sort of broaden our horizons, and that's why we say 0:02:07.040 --> 0:02:11.560 streets and politics. Um. But then the other thing is 0:02:11.600 --> 0:02:16.240 that we are as black folks. Sometimes I'll strictly black people. 0:02:16.240 --> 0:02:18.680 I'm not talking about other folks from different races and 0:02:18.760 --> 0:02:23.920 other communities. To my black people. We are definitely suffering, 0:02:24.520 --> 0:02:29.880 and specifically black women women with um this, I'm not 0:02:29.919 --> 0:02:32.320 even talking about the rate of how many of us 0:02:32.360 --> 0:02:35.280 are single. It's in our minds. It's almost like we're 0:02:35.320 --> 0:02:41.480 approaching relationships either ready to break up or destroy them self. 0:02:41.520 --> 0:02:45.600 Sabotage because we don't believe that it can work either 0:02:45.720 --> 0:02:49.040 because the people were around that's married are having or 0:02:49.200 --> 0:02:53.160 are not married anymore, or our families, our parents, or 0:02:53.200 --> 0:02:57.800 whatever trauma we've experienced, and we're dealing with that in 0:02:57.960 --> 0:03:01.240 our daily lives. And maybe that's one of the reasons 0:03:01.240 --> 0:03:05.800 why so many black women are not married. Maybe marriage 0:03:05.800 --> 0:03:07.440 and needs to be to go. I don't even know 0:03:07.520 --> 0:03:09.919 who more, but I know we're trying to talk about 0:03:10.120 --> 0:03:12.600 relationships should be to go, and that's what we're gonna 0:03:12.639 --> 0:03:16.120 talk about. I think women want marriage and that successful 0:03:16.160 --> 0:03:18.840 relationship not a good partner. I think in a lot 0:03:18.880 --> 0:03:22.440 of a lot of women push your partner away because 0:03:22.440 --> 0:03:25.600 they immediately talk about marriage. You might have a soul. 0:03:25.639 --> 0:03:27.520 Many to dislike you want to cheer with you, like 0:03:28.360 --> 0:03:30.720 I'm trying to be married, so I ain't even I'm 0:03:30.760 --> 0:03:33.240 not dating if we're not, if you're not even in 0:03:33.280 --> 0:03:36.000 a spectrum to be married, and it's like, okay, well 0:03:36.040 --> 0:03:38.640 I don't even know. I didn't find somebody that wanted 0:03:38.640 --> 0:03:40.600 to marry. You already told on marriage, and I gotta 0:03:40.680 --> 0:03:42.960 date you with intention to be married. Maybe I don't 0:03:42.960 --> 0:03:44.280 even want to. I don't even want to go through 0:03:44.320 --> 0:03:46.200 that process because I don't even know what that looks like. 0:03:47.080 --> 0:03:49.320 So yeah, I'm probably going to be single for the 0:03:49.360 --> 0:03:51.760 rest of my life. I have to say that every 0:03:51.800 --> 0:03:54.720 week because it's my trip. So you know, in this 0:03:54.840 --> 0:03:59.760 particular discussion, because it's our brothers and brothers that we 0:03:59.800 --> 0:04:03.080 are really truly very close to, it'd be great if 0:04:03.120 --> 0:04:07.120 you go ahead and introduce them, but not before we 0:04:07.280 --> 0:04:11.520 bring LaToya von On to talk about our small businesses 0:04:11.600 --> 0:04:15.680 that's doing good things in the community. Okay, it is 0:04:15.920 --> 0:04:20.320 almost Christmas. Some people are still buying Christmas gifts. I 0:04:20.400 --> 0:04:22.920 don't really buy Christmas gifts, but I will say that 0:04:23.000 --> 0:04:25.560 if I choose to buy one, it should be from 0:04:25.560 --> 0:04:27.880 a black business. And we should all make sure that 0:04:27.960 --> 0:04:30.680 we're spending our money during this holiday season. If you're 0:04:30.680 --> 0:04:35.040 gonna spend it anyway, spend it with businesses that support 0:04:35.120 --> 0:04:38.159 people who look like us. LaToya is going to come 0:04:38.480 --> 0:04:40.960 and talk about a small business that we should be 0:04:41.000 --> 0:04:44.880 paying attention to. And then after that, you're going to 0:04:44.960 --> 0:04:50.039 introduce this panel of individuals who are single yet they 0:04:50.120 --> 0:04:54.159 have many options, and one brother who decided that his 0:04:54.279 --> 0:04:58.320 options he no longer wanted to explore. He just wants 0:04:58.360 --> 0:05:04.560 to explore his one me before. So once again we 0:05:04.640 --> 0:05:08.440 have another show coming to you for street politicians. This 0:05:08.480 --> 0:05:11.920 is all of the guys against Mika because of your 0:05:12.000 --> 0:05:14.800 last week it was the girls against my son, and 0:05:14.839 --> 0:05:16.920 I still help my own. You know, that was a 0:05:16.960 --> 0:05:20.600 little bumped and bruised up, but I survived. But we're 0:05:20.640 --> 0:05:25.160 continuing the episode of is monogamy that that was the 0:05:25.240 --> 0:05:28.080 name of the episode. And I have the pleasure of 0:05:28.200 --> 0:05:31.560 having two of my brothers and another brother I think 0:05:31.600 --> 0:05:34.080 will be brothers at the end of this this good 0:05:34.120 --> 0:05:36.719 old conversation. But I have two of my brothers that 0:05:36.760 --> 0:05:40.960 are known and loved, and they're gonna help me with perspectives. 0:05:41.720 --> 0:05:43.600 You know that men come from and and and and 0:05:43.600 --> 0:05:45.919 then we have another brother who has a different perspective. 0:05:46.120 --> 0:05:48.839 I got my brother, Aaron gas and entrepreneur, the owner 0:05:48.880 --> 0:05:51.680 of the Guy's Clothing, author of the book title you 0:05:51.760 --> 0:05:55.520 already won. What's up? Hey, hey man, thank you for 0:05:55.600 --> 0:05:58.240 having me, and you know it's always a pleasure you 0:05:58.360 --> 0:06:04.839 hauling mice and my book father, and thank you. Interesting 0:06:05.120 --> 0:06:11.200 don't thank me yet, Yes, yes, we gotta. It was 0:06:11.200 --> 0:06:13.479 gonna be a long conversation, and we got our brother, 0:06:13.720 --> 0:06:18.720 Billy Counsel, founder of Counsel Him Foundation and college basketball coach, 0:06:18.880 --> 0:06:21.280 was going on, Billy, what's going on with my brother? 0:06:21.320 --> 0:06:23.480 Mike's man? Good to be here, man, Hey, my sister 0:06:23.560 --> 0:06:26.280 to Mika Man, I'm looking forward to a great conversation 0:06:26.880 --> 0:06:35.839 by hilarious. And then we have doctor one day Quobo Shiani, 0:06:35.960 --> 0:06:41.800 President and CEO of Analytic jina Us. How are you king? Good? Good, boss, good, 0:06:41.839 --> 0:06:43.800 Good to meet you, my son, gonna meet you, Toma, 0:06:44.080 --> 0:06:49.320 great to meet everybody. Nice. So so last week we 0:06:49.400 --> 0:06:55.280 had a dating online consultant and she's had her perspective 0:06:55.440 --> 0:07:01.719 on the topic. Then we had a woman who practiced polyamity. 0:07:02.520 --> 0:07:09.000 Polyamory Is that the right way? Okay? Polyamory right, that's 0:07:09.040 --> 0:07:12.520 what I believe, that's what the terms. She gave us 0:07:12.560 --> 0:07:14.800 her perspective on the thing. And then we also had 0:07:14.800 --> 0:07:18.680 another woman who just was doing online dating. She was single, 0:07:18.720 --> 0:07:22.040 but she was talking about the online dating field and 0:07:22.160 --> 0:07:25.040 how how she felt about it. And they had all 0:07:25.120 --> 0:07:30.880 had different perspectives, you know, me and the polyamory woman 0:07:30.960 --> 0:07:34.520 had a lot of YouTube perspectives and and and different ones. 0:07:34.560 --> 0:07:37.400 We all had the similar perspective a certain degree, but 0:07:37.480 --> 0:07:41.520 Tamika was you know, She's like, I forget everything, I'm 0:07:41.560 --> 0:07:43.760 just gonna be single. I ain't getting this and that, 0:07:44.040 --> 0:07:45.840 So we want to have a different type. I'm gonna 0:07:45.880 --> 0:07:49.720 let Tamika lead the conversation off and just get into 0:07:49.760 --> 0:07:53.760 this very robust conversation. Well, you know, I think, for 0:07:53.880 --> 0:07:58.240 first of all, the the the consultant who helps people 0:07:58.360 --> 0:08:02.840 date online. She is also married and also in a 0:08:03.600 --> 0:08:10.520 UM in a monogamous relationship, a monogamous relationship marriage UM, 0:08:10.640 --> 0:08:15.720 and so her perspective came from various directions. One she 0:08:16.040 --> 0:08:20.040 believes that people can find love online, which you know, 0:08:20.120 --> 0:08:24.480 we talked about whether or whether we feel comfortable in 0:08:24.520 --> 0:08:26.960 that space, and a lot of it was focused on 0:08:27.000 --> 0:08:30.600 the fact that as a single woman, UM, you know, 0:08:30.760 --> 0:08:33.160 I think about like, what are some of the ways 0:08:33.200 --> 0:08:38.560 that I should go about finding whoever king whatever his 0:08:38.679 --> 0:08:42.200 name is gonna be, and you know, thinking about online 0:08:42.280 --> 0:08:44.920 dating as one of those aspects. But it has not 0:08:45.080 --> 0:08:47.960 been something that's even been on the It's not been 0:08:48.440 --> 0:08:51.320 something that I'm even interested in. So, you know, we 0:08:51.400 --> 0:08:54.160 learned a lot from her. She met her husband online 0:08:54.559 --> 0:08:58.280 and they seem to have a wonderful relationship. The other 0:08:58.320 --> 0:09:02.719 young lady who's our friend toy Shambo. She dates online 0:09:02.800 --> 0:09:05.640 and was talking about all of the craziness that she 0:09:05.720 --> 0:09:09.440 has experienced online. But one of the things that came 0:09:09.480 --> 0:09:13.440 out of the conversation was that it's not just online, 0:09:13.520 --> 0:09:16.640 it's craziness and relationships if you meet them online and 0:09:16.960 --> 0:09:21.080 or outside. And then of course there was the perspective 0:09:21.240 --> 0:09:26.640 of the individual who is who who participates in the 0:09:26.760 --> 0:09:32.120 Polly relationship, and it is her makeup was two women 0:09:32.760 --> 0:09:38.080 to one man, and she is not uh sexually or 0:09:38.120 --> 0:09:42.800 intimately involved with the woman. Um, they are getting to 0:09:42.880 --> 0:09:45.080 know one another. And in fact, the comments and the 0:09:45.120 --> 0:09:50.520 conversation has continued into my comments on Instagram because she 0:09:50.679 --> 0:09:53.559 is in there going back and forth with people explaining 0:09:53.600 --> 0:09:57.120 to them how the relationship operates. And the one thing 0:09:57.160 --> 0:10:00.680 that she said that I thought was, um, you know 0:10:00.800 --> 0:10:04.240 important for this conversation is that she started talking about 0:10:04.920 --> 0:10:10.360 how she does not want all the responsibilities of her relationship. 0:10:10.480 --> 0:10:12.160 She doesn't want to be the one to cook, clean, 0:10:12.840 --> 0:10:15.480 have to have all the sex, give attention all the 0:10:15.559 --> 0:10:18.400 time to her husband. She may have other things that 0:10:18.440 --> 0:10:21.319 she wants to do and focus on, and she may 0:10:21.400 --> 0:10:23.600 just want to be off to herself, and I guess 0:10:23.640 --> 0:10:27.600 this woman provides those things for the husband, but then 0:10:27.679 --> 0:10:30.320 also for her. She feels that this woman is a 0:10:30.320 --> 0:10:32.800 good friend, somebody for her to hang out with and 0:10:33.000 --> 0:10:35.320 do things and things that her husband doesn't want to do. 0:10:35.960 --> 0:10:38.440 So those were interesting perspectives. And in the end, what 0:10:38.520 --> 0:10:40.600 I found was that I'm going to be single for 0:10:40.640 --> 0:10:43.720 the rest of my life and I've accepted that. And 0:10:43.800 --> 0:10:46.800 that's pretty much how I left the conversation. But perhaps 0:10:46.840 --> 0:10:49.959 you all can share something different. Um, Mr Mowen Day, 0:10:50.120 --> 0:10:52.880 but I think we can call you que for today. 0:10:53.000 --> 0:10:58.720 You are married in my correct you've been married for 0:10:58.760 --> 0:11:02.199 two years. See, it does work, it happens, it happens. 0:11:02.280 --> 0:11:04.480 So what do you think about the perspectives that we 0:11:04.600 --> 0:11:08.000 just talked about. Did you meet your wife online? Yeah? 0:11:08.000 --> 0:11:10.360 I did? I did. I met her on a bumble 0:11:10.400 --> 0:11:14.120 actually okay, Yeah, So when I moved to New York, 0:11:14.960 --> 0:11:19.880 um for a month down before this one, Um, you know, 0:11:21.160 --> 0:11:23.160 it was it was that time for me because that's 0:11:23.160 --> 0:11:26.840 when I became pretty much president of another German company 0:11:27.080 --> 0:11:29.280 for for North and South America. So I was like, 0:11:29.320 --> 0:11:31.559 you know what, I'm good with me. So then that's 0:11:31.559 --> 0:11:33.559 when I decided to kind of. Uh that's when I 0:11:33.559 --> 0:11:36.199 decided to make that move because at the end of 0:11:36.200 --> 0:11:39.560 the day, you know, I wasn't ready to make any 0:11:39.600 --> 0:11:41.600 kind of moves, would be serious about any kind of 0:11:41.600 --> 0:11:45.440 woman until I was happy with myself, if that makes sense. Right. So, 0:11:45.800 --> 0:11:48.120 you know, there was some career aspirations that I needed 0:11:48.120 --> 0:11:49.880 to do, some things that I need to do from 0:11:49.880 --> 0:11:52.360 the standpoint of education, but also a standpoint of just 0:11:53.000 --> 0:11:57.280 professional you know, LinkedIn called the resume and uh so 0:11:57.440 --> 0:11:59.680 when I got to New York, that's when I was like, Okay, 0:11:59.679 --> 0:12:01.480 well it's about that time to be a little bit 0:12:01.480 --> 0:12:04.400 I'm now emotionally available if that makes sense, to go 0:12:04.400 --> 0:12:07.680 ahead and make that move. So, um, that's where that's 0:12:07.760 --> 0:12:09.600 that's when I went got a little bit more serious 0:12:09.600 --> 0:12:13.880 about my interactions within the uh with with online dating 0:12:13.880 --> 0:12:17.320 and stuff. But prior to that, you know, um, I 0:12:17.360 --> 0:12:21.360 had hit a couple whether online dating sites. Um, before 0:12:21.360 --> 0:12:24.360 you even really getting serious. So you know, just uh, 0:12:24.640 --> 0:12:26.800 that's my experience pretty much how I met the deal 0:12:26.920 --> 0:12:30.880 through the online dating. So you how loo y'all, how 0:12:31.080 --> 0:12:34.160 you've been married for two years? Right, right? How long 0:12:34.200 --> 0:12:38.120 were you dating? So we dated two years? So, UM, 0:12:38.800 --> 0:12:41.200 I met here the summer sixteen, Like as soon as 0:12:41.240 --> 0:12:43.280 that happened New York, I got to New York, Like 0:12:45.120 --> 0:12:47.640 I don't know, I think it was like March April. 0:12:47.760 --> 0:12:50.000 I got to New York and uh and I was 0:12:50.040 --> 0:12:54.160 an Inglewood the jobs actually an ingle M and that programs. 0:12:54.240 --> 0:12:58.880 But uh mahwah, New Jersey, so a little bit up 0:12:59.200 --> 0:13:02.679 up north and uh so when I lived in Englewood, 0:13:02.840 --> 0:13:06.600 right across from the g W. So um, I met 0:13:06.640 --> 0:13:08.840 her probably three months after I got to New York, 0:13:09.400 --> 0:13:11.840 and we we pretty much hit it off from that 0:13:11.920 --> 0:13:15.240 summer and just enjoyed the sum of the sixteens and 0:13:15.320 --> 0:13:17.199 through the winter we just rocked out. So it was 0:13:17.280 --> 0:13:20.320 just it didn't for me. It didn't take all day 0:13:20.360 --> 0:13:22.480 to recognize sunshine, right, so you heard that before us. 0:13:22.520 --> 0:13:25.200 So I mean from there, I was good and you know, 0:13:25.640 --> 0:13:28.640 it just worked out. There were some family connections that 0:13:28.720 --> 0:13:32.120 Agila and I also had, which was very unique with 0:13:32.160 --> 0:13:36.000 regards to uh to us getting together, so um that 0:13:36.120 --> 0:13:38.160 that also strengthened something. There was a there was a 0:13:38.200 --> 0:13:41.520 family relationship that was going on on her side that 0:13:41.559 --> 0:13:44.240 I didn't even know, so and and and we end 0:13:44.320 --> 0:13:48.080 up being um both of our family members end up 0:13:48.120 --> 0:13:51.480 being married to each other and we didn't know. So wow, 0:13:52.679 --> 0:13:56.280 And you said it didn't take you forever to see 0:13:56.320 --> 0:14:01.680 the sunshine. So this idea that me somebody and trying 0:14:01.720 --> 0:14:05.600 to have a relationship going on for twelve years where 0:14:05.600 --> 0:14:09.320 it's a dead end. It seems that nothing is happening 0:14:09.440 --> 0:14:12.840 for me. That's problematic. But I have been told by 0:14:13.000 --> 0:14:16.280 others that I'm rushing if I think that things are 0:14:16.280 --> 0:14:20.080 supposed to move faster than that. I mean, it's it's 0:14:20.080 --> 0:14:22.560 all the perspective, right, It's to remember where you are mentally, 0:14:23.080 --> 0:14:25.560 where you both are mentally right, and and what you 0:14:25.600 --> 0:14:30.240 guys are looking for. You know, um, honestly, you know, 0:14:33.560 --> 0:14:35.600 I didn't want to get married, right, I didn't. I 0:14:35.640 --> 0:14:37.720 didn't want to get married until I was happy. There's 0:14:37.760 --> 0:14:39.200 no way in hell that I was gonna be able 0:14:39.240 --> 0:14:42.920 to make any other woman happy with me traveling the world. 0:14:42.920 --> 0:14:46.160 I've been through, you know, four passports, developed businesses, and 0:14:46.520 --> 0:14:49.480 pretty much every continent of the world, and just did 0:14:49.480 --> 0:14:54.000 not have time to even entertain, you know, any woman, seriously, 0:14:54.080 --> 0:14:55.880 until I wanted to get to where I needed to 0:14:55.920 --> 0:15:00.280 go career wise. So but once I was there, you know, 0:15:00.600 --> 0:15:03.840 I had dated so many women before that, so I 0:15:03.920 --> 0:15:06.040 knew what I liked and what I didn't and what 0:15:06.160 --> 0:15:08.000 I knew what I expected from the woman and what 0:15:08.080 --> 0:15:10.200 I didn't expecting woman. And so if it didn't check off, 0:15:10.600 --> 0:15:13.000 I didn't get all the boxes checked off, then I'm 0:15:13.080 --> 0:15:17.240 I'm I'm I'm out, like I'm well, not really am out, 0:15:17.320 --> 0:15:19.480 but all the boxes don't check off, then that's when 0:15:19.480 --> 0:15:23.359 you want up getting those those those dragon on relationships 0:15:23.400 --> 0:15:27.320 that really don't really move anywhere for you. Right. So, um, 0:15:27.480 --> 0:15:30.800 but when I met a dealer, all the boxes checked um, 0:15:30.840 --> 0:15:32.600 and so I was good. I was. I was really 0:15:32.600 --> 0:15:34.920 good from that standpoint. From that standpoint, it was about 0:15:36.880 --> 0:15:40.240 cutting off the black book, if that makes sense. Right. 0:15:40.280 --> 0:15:43.480 So you had all these open relationships, and I had 0:15:43.520 --> 0:15:45.600 a bunch of open relationships when I met a dealer. 0:15:45.640 --> 0:15:47.320 And when I met a dealer, I was like, oh ship, 0:15:47.400 --> 0:15:50.800 I got those. I got to start, you know, shutting 0:15:50.800 --> 0:15:54.040 stuff down because ye know, this is what's up right here, 0:15:54.200 --> 0:15:55.200 you know what I mean. I was like, yea, this 0:15:55.240 --> 0:15:56.720 is what's up right here. So I'm like, okay, what 0:15:56.720 --> 0:16:00.000 I'm gonna do with you know, these these open relationships 0:16:00.120 --> 0:16:03.320 that I've had for for years, right, So that was 0:16:03.400 --> 0:16:05.200 my that was my challenge, and that's what I had 0:16:05.200 --> 0:16:07.680 to do. You know. You know when I met the 0:16:07.720 --> 0:16:09.920 dealing and the dealer knew I had this open relationships 0:16:10.400 --> 0:16:12.600 or we were both singles, so the dealer knew I had, 0:16:12.640 --> 0:16:14.360 you know, other ticks that I was dating and things 0:16:14.400 --> 0:16:17.120 like that. But once I told her was like, yo, listen, um, 0:16:17.160 --> 0:16:20.280 I think I don't want to rock with you real, Um, 0:16:20.400 --> 0:16:22.360 I'm gonna have to clear out of all this other stuff, 0:16:22.800 --> 0:16:25.680 you know what I mean. And so you know, once 0:16:25.720 --> 0:16:28.600 the clear out happened, then we went even more serious. Right, 0:16:28.640 --> 0:16:30.120 But I had to get time to go ahead and 0:16:30.200 --> 0:16:33.240 clear that stuff out. That makes sense, So excuse me, 0:16:33.320 --> 0:16:36.720 people Monday. Let me interject. You have a great wife, 0:16:36.760 --> 0:16:40.760 a beautiful wife, and he's a good Dallas for you. 0:16:40.800 --> 0:16:45.360 See you always lucky, not get that lucky, especially on 0:16:45.400 --> 0:16:47.800 the day and that, but that one is a special lady. 0:16:47.960 --> 0:16:50.040 That's what I was going to say. Did you did 0:16:50.040 --> 0:16:52.680 you date prior on the day and that before her? 0:16:52.840 --> 0:16:57.960 Was she the first person you dated on that me? Yeah? 0:16:58.360 --> 0:17:01.760 I was. I was tender. I was I was a 0:17:01.800 --> 0:17:08.280 tender pimp like I was. You don't we don't understand. 0:17:08.320 --> 0:17:12.520 Like so you're laughing at you know, Aaron and Billy, Like, 0:17:13.200 --> 0:17:16.400 I'm just like you, dude. They look just like me. They, 0:17:16.480 --> 0:17:20.159 I mean, they were very familiar. Like I if my 0:17:20.160 --> 0:17:23.960 my online daily game was probably probably the best that 0:17:24.000 --> 0:17:28.000 you've probably ever seen ever. Like I I mean, I 0:17:28.119 --> 0:17:33.920 was like, okay, yeah, I was. I was in that. 0:17:35.560 --> 0:17:37.639 I had the double shot of you had everything. I 0:17:37.720 --> 0:17:40.960 was like, man, like you know, I was like, okay, well, 0:17:41.000 --> 0:17:46.000 I gotta work in Amsterdam next month, fired up tender, 0:17:46.920 --> 0:17:48.560 put my eye dress out of it. And because they 0:17:48.640 --> 0:17:51.080 let you be wherever you want to be, so I 0:17:51.119 --> 0:17:53.560 would I would go and and and and say I'm 0:17:53.600 --> 0:17:56.960 in I'm in Amsterdam, put my profile up so tender 0:17:56.960 --> 0:17:59.920 people in Amsterdam saw me. So when I got out there, 0:18:00.000 --> 0:18:03.840 I had already a month of pre game, so I had, God, 0:18:04.080 --> 0:18:09.800 this is this is the man asked me the question. Okay, 0:18:09.800 --> 0:18:14.280 so now that this is the same, you know, so 0:18:14.400 --> 0:18:18.320 this is good. But this is what Instagram is for 0:18:18.400 --> 0:18:22.560 people to, you know, just just to be clear people people. 0:18:22.640 --> 0:18:25.840 I'm not gonna say whose names on this thing it 0:18:25.880 --> 0:18:28.280 works for, but I just wanted to be clear that 0:18:28.320 --> 0:18:31.080 there are there are there are folks among that you 0:18:31.119 --> 0:18:36.399 want to declare, say that there are people among us, Okay, 0:18:36.400 --> 0:18:39.520 because I am very close to at least to the 0:18:39.600 --> 0:18:44.400 three gentlemen on here, my son, Aran and Billy Counsel 0:18:44.880 --> 0:18:54.200 and that. Huh. But what I want what my point 0:18:54.480 --> 0:18:59.879 is that Instagram is its own tender. And people will say, oh, 0:19:00.080 --> 0:19:02.240 I don't believe I don't like dating apps, but yet 0:19:02.280 --> 0:19:07.480 they're using the apps they do use for dating. Well, 0:19:07.480 --> 0:19:09.480 I don't think the thing is I don't think I 0:19:09.480 --> 0:19:11.320 think I hear what you're saying, but I think the 0:19:11.520 --> 0:19:13.439 dudes that are going on Instagram, they don't use it 0:19:13.480 --> 0:19:16.520 for things like dudes be on their promoting business and 0:19:16.880 --> 0:19:20.680 promoting different things, building up their profile. Tender is strictly 0:19:21.000 --> 0:19:23.560 and bumble, all of those is strictly. I'm trying to 0:19:23.560 --> 0:19:25.919 find somebody that's not what Instagram is. You're building up 0:19:25.960 --> 0:19:28.359 your profile and the people that you attract from your 0:19:28.400 --> 0:19:30.520 profile you get to sell whether or not if you're 0:19:30.600 --> 0:19:32.680 single or whatever, and you want to deal with them, 0:19:32.720 --> 0:19:35.760 you can't. But just for me, like and I want 0:19:35.760 --> 0:19:39.120 to apologize one day because on the last episode I said, 0:19:39.359 --> 0:19:41.439 I just think people that go to dat and apswers 0:19:41.480 --> 0:19:44.359 widows and and that was just a perspective, was just 0:19:44.440 --> 0:19:47.159 not knowing nothing. But you know what, I thought the 0:19:47.160 --> 0:19:50.000 same ship. That's why you think that you had the 0:19:50.040 --> 0:19:56.840 advantage likely widows are here. I don't mean the only dude, No, no, no, 0:19:57.160 --> 0:19:59.199 I had your perspective. But like, I'm not going on 0:19:59.359 --> 0:20:04.160 mats and e harmony. What like my hot fire game 0:20:04.240 --> 0:20:06.320 is blazing when I'm in a spot, so I don't 0:20:07.320 --> 0:20:09.720 I'm neither dating yet. Like I'm in the bar, I'm sitting, 0:20:09.800 --> 0:20:13.679 I find like top five dialone dialone dialine like you 0:20:13.720 --> 0:20:16.080 know so but no, But then after a while, it 0:20:16.160 --> 0:20:19.679 was just it got to the point where I actually 0:20:19.720 --> 0:20:22.160 got tired of going to the bars right and going 0:20:22.200 --> 0:20:24.480 out to the lounges and things like that. And as 0:20:24.560 --> 0:20:28.600 my careers took off more, you know, I was pretty 0:20:28.640 --> 0:20:31.960 much very exhausted just because of all my travels. So 0:20:32.600 --> 0:20:39.760 you know, it wasn't until the value of the chase decreased, 0:20:40.560 --> 0:20:44.280 and no, one day you gotta hold that because this 0:20:44.359 --> 0:20:47.200 would we need to talk about the chase decrease because 0:20:47.200 --> 0:20:50.080 I'm trying to figure out when that happens. But I 0:20:50.119 --> 0:20:53.080 would love for Billy Counsel to have something to say here, 0:20:53.760 --> 0:20:56.720 And first of all, do you use it? I'm married. 0:20:56.760 --> 0:21:03.000 I shouldn't be having to talk these too. So yeah, 0:21:03.119 --> 0:21:07.480 hopefully that's the goal. But but um, billy, are you 0:21:07.560 --> 0:21:13.760 on the apps? What apps? Bumble and those types? No, 0:21:14.640 --> 0:21:17.639 I'm not. No, I'm not. And you are you considering 0:21:17.720 --> 0:21:20.800 being on the apps? No? Not no, not at all, 0:21:21.119 --> 0:21:24.680 not at all. Okay, So what what do you think 0:21:24.720 --> 0:21:29.080 about this whole idea of whether or not monogamy is dead? 0:21:29.960 --> 0:21:33.200 And if you think, you know, do you think that 0:21:33.240 --> 0:21:37.159 people should be able to meet and identify, you know, 0:21:37.240 --> 0:21:39.760 who their loved one or their or their wife or 0:21:39.880 --> 0:21:42.199 husband or whatever in a short period of time or 0:21:42.200 --> 0:21:44.240 do you think it's something that has to bait for 0:21:44.359 --> 0:21:48.040 a while. Well, you know it's interesting, right, you know, 0:21:48.160 --> 0:21:50.760 because it's it's different people's perspective. You know. I have 0:21:50.880 --> 0:21:53.440 been in the in the situations several times where you 0:21:53.480 --> 0:21:55.760 know you'll meet somebody and everything is going well for 0:21:55.800 --> 0:21:57.840 the first three months, and the next thing you know, 0:21:58.240 --> 0:22:00.600 you know, car crash, right, and every thing is just 0:22:00.680 --> 0:22:03.040 broken up the pieces right, and what you thought you 0:22:03.119 --> 0:22:05.280 had you didn't really have, right, you know what I mean? 0:22:05.280 --> 0:22:09.359 You know, you found somebody who you wasn't emotionally ready 0:22:09.400 --> 0:22:12.119 for a probably vice versa, it wasn't ready for you, 0:22:12.119 --> 0:22:14.840 you know. So I think it's all a perspective. I 0:22:14.840 --> 0:22:16.480 think that's that's how we look at it. Like I 0:22:16.480 --> 0:22:18.439 look at things from on my open point of view. Right, 0:22:18.520 --> 0:22:21.080 So if it's if it's good and I'm and I'm 0:22:21.160 --> 0:22:23.040 enjoying it, then I'm gonna keep rinding it down. If 0:22:23.040 --> 0:22:25.200 it's not good and I'm not enjoying it, then there's 0:22:25.240 --> 0:22:27.760 no need for us to waste our time, right because again, 0:22:27.920 --> 0:22:30.640 marriages at the end of as the end of the role. 0:22:31.000 --> 0:22:33.600 But it's marriage for everyone, right, and you know that 0:22:33.600 --> 0:22:36.400 that becomes a question, right. So, um, when you talk 0:22:36.440 --> 0:22:40.800 about being single and and and being married, it's two 0:22:40.840 --> 0:22:43.720 totally different things. But you could be single and not 0:22:43.960 --> 0:22:46.720 married to someone, but you can really have that bond 0:22:46.720 --> 0:22:48.600 and not connect you with them, but just don't really 0:22:48.920 --> 0:22:51.919 you know, understanding and recepted. So I look at it. 0:22:51.960 --> 0:22:53.840 I look at it totally different. You know. I just 0:22:53.880 --> 0:22:56.840 love to be with someone who makes me happy. Hey, 0:22:56.880 --> 0:23:00.080 what's your what's your what's your perspective on monogamy? Me 0:23:00.200 --> 0:23:04.200 in relationships? Do you do you believe? Because this is 0:23:04.240 --> 0:23:08.680 my concept. Right. I believe the mono is a learned behavior. 0:23:09.040 --> 0:23:12.160