1 00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:05,360 Speaker 1: Wake that ass up in the morning. The Breakfast Club Morning. 2 00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:09,360 Speaker 2: Everybody is DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, Charlamagne the God. We 3 00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:11,440 Speaker 2: are the Breakfast Club. We got a special guest in 4 00:00:11,440 --> 00:00:14,360 Speaker 2: the building. Yes, indeed have doctor Rito Walker. Welcome back. 5 00:00:14,440 --> 00:00:16,440 Speaker 3: Good Mon's great to be here with you all. 6 00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:17,360 Speaker 1: Great to have you. 7 00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:19,360 Speaker 4: Doctor Rida Walker is the author one of my favorite 8 00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:21,840 Speaker 4: books ever, The Unapologetic God, The Black Mental Health. 9 00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:23,120 Speaker 1: I recommend it to everybody. 10 00:00:23,160 --> 00:00:26,239 Speaker 4: And you are celebrating the fifth anniversary of the release 11 00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:28,840 Speaker 4: of The Unapologetic God, The Black Mental Health. Jesus Christ, 12 00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:30,920 Speaker 4: time don't be playing boy, Yeah. 13 00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:31,840 Speaker 3: I mean five years. 14 00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:35,519 Speaker 5: God is good and I never would have expected that 15 00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:37,640 Speaker 5: the book would have had the impact that has had, 16 00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:40,040 Speaker 5: you know, meeting you, you know, being able to talk 17 00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:42,440 Speaker 5: to you. All the folks who have you know, come 18 00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:44,440 Speaker 5: to me and said the book has changed their life. 19 00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:45,760 Speaker 3: You know. 20 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:48,199 Speaker 5: Did they buy the book for their family members and 21 00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:50,040 Speaker 5: for friends, they have book club meetings. 22 00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:52,080 Speaker 3: It's just, you know, it's been a blessing. 23 00:00:52,159 --> 00:00:55,280 Speaker 1: I remember when I read it. Debbie Brown, our good sister, 24 00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:55,800 Speaker 1: Debbie Brown. 25 00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:58,520 Speaker 4: She gave me the manuscript and I read it on vacation, 26 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,240 Speaker 4: and I remember reading it and saying to my so, 27 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:02,920 Speaker 4: where has this book been all of our lives? 28 00:01:04,520 --> 00:01:07,399 Speaker 5: Well, it's been, you know, it's been a process. So 29 00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:10,640 Speaker 5: I earned my PhD more than twenty years ago, and 30 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:15,000 Speaker 5: you know, working on trying to understand specifically for black people, 31 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:18,600 Speaker 5: you know, our experiences, and trying to integrate that into 32 00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:21,000 Speaker 5: the larger landscape of mental health that you all know 33 00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:25,039 Speaker 5: has exploded, you know, trying to merge what I know 34 00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:27,800 Speaker 5: as a black woman and I'm a first generation college student. 35 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:30,959 Speaker 5: My parents didn't go to college, and merging my reality 36 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:32,840 Speaker 5: with what I was learning and the research that I 37 00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:36,560 Speaker 5: was engaged in and trying to train PhD clinical psychology students. 38 00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:38,760 Speaker 5: You know, that's it took time. So it took a 39 00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:40,680 Speaker 5: little time for me to get here, but I'm here. 40 00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:41,199 Speaker 1: Yeah. 41 00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:44,399 Speaker 6: I noticed that it's not just about mental health, it's 42 00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:48,920 Speaker 6: specifically for black mental health, right, Like, why is it? 43 00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:49,840 Speaker 1: So? 44 00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:52,880 Speaker 6: Why is it important to be unapologetic about who this 45 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:53,600 Speaker 6: book is for. 46 00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:56,840 Speaker 5: I'm so glad that you asked that, because, as you 47 00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:59,680 Speaker 5: all know, oftentimes, you know, black people get lumped in 48 00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:03,440 Speaker 5: with minorities. One of the labels that we use in 49 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:08,200 Speaker 5: academia is bipock. So black and we include folks with 50 00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:11,440 Speaker 5: indigenous people of color, but we know that Black people 51 00:02:11,639 --> 00:02:15,440 Speaker 5: have a very specific and unique way of just living life, 52 00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:18,919 Speaker 5: of doing things. We've learned mental health from the generations 53 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:21,960 Speaker 5: before us, and in ways that weren't always helpful. You know, 54 00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:24,160 Speaker 5: we learned not to talk about our feelings and emotions, 55 00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:27,760 Speaker 5: like we learned that like what we learned impacted who 56 00:02:27,760 --> 00:02:30,480 Speaker 5: we are, while at the same time dealing with racism, 57 00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:33,480 Speaker 5: dealing with microaggressions, you know, folks saying, you know, pull 58 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:35,800 Speaker 5: yourself up by the bootstraps, and we don't even have boots. 59 00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:37,840 Speaker 5: You know, that is a reality for us, and we 60 00:02:37,919 --> 00:02:39,720 Speaker 5: need to be able to talk about that. And that's 61 00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:42,200 Speaker 5: part of what makes the book unapologetic is that I said, yeah, 62 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:45,000 Speaker 5: we're not talking about everybody, We're just talking about black people. Yeah, 63 00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:46,960 Speaker 5: and that's not that it hasn't helped other folks. And 64 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:50,919 Speaker 5: I've had people from many communities, you know, gay, straight, black, Asian, 65 00:02:50,919 --> 00:02:53,760 Speaker 5: We've all people from many different communities have said that 66 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:56,200 Speaker 5: the book has helped them, which is fine, you know, great, 67 00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:57,400 Speaker 5: get what you need from the book. 68 00:02:57,440 --> 00:02:58,280 Speaker 3: But I wrote it for us. 69 00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:01,720 Speaker 4: How do you handle black people who still think therapy 70 00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:02,679 Speaker 4: is just white. 71 00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:07,120 Speaker 5: People shit, Well, I say, you know, God bless you, 72 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:10,920 Speaker 5: and then I talk to them about things that in 73 00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:12,840 Speaker 5: their language. And I think that's part of what made 74 00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:16,400 Speaker 5: the book resonate, is talking to folks in ways that 75 00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:17,359 Speaker 5: makes sense to us. 76 00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:18,600 Speaker 3: And that's one of the reasons. 77 00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:20,160 Speaker 5: They had to be for us, because we talk a 78 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:23,360 Speaker 5: certain way, and I use that in the book. And so, 79 00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:26,160 Speaker 5: you know, I ask folks about their worry. I ask 80 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:28,720 Speaker 5: folks about problem sleeping, Like in the black community, we 81 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:30,359 Speaker 5: have a lot of problems with sleep, and we don't 82 00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:32,640 Speaker 5: even we normalize it. And so I talk about the 83 00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:35,040 Speaker 5: day to day kinds of things that people experience but 84 00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:37,880 Speaker 5: have normalize and then they say hmm, and then we 85 00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:39,840 Speaker 5: can start to have a conversation from there. I gotta 86 00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:42,280 Speaker 5: you got to meet folks where they are like. And 87 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:45,240 Speaker 5: that's one of I introduced the idea of psychological fortitude 88 00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:47,840 Speaker 5: in the book, because we say mental health. As you 89 00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:51,520 Speaker 5: all know, folks start thinking, oh, someone's crazy. They hearing 90 00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:54,040 Speaker 5: and seeing things that aren't there. Okay, let's just move 91 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:56,480 Speaker 5: by that. Let's let's let's keep it moving. Let's figure 92 00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:57,960 Speaker 5: out how I can help people with a different kind 93 00:03:57,960 --> 00:03:58,520 Speaker 5: of language. 94 00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:00,800 Speaker 2: It's been five years. What's surprise you the most about 95 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:01,840 Speaker 2: the impact of the book. 96 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:03,400 Speaker 3: Oh, my goodness. 97 00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:06,600 Speaker 5: I think probably the degree to which people who are 98 00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:09,880 Speaker 5: not black have said that the book has helped them really, 99 00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:13,160 Speaker 5: And I think it's because there are some dimensions of 100 00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:16,120 Speaker 5: mental health that are universal. 101 00:04:16,279 --> 00:04:18,320 Speaker 3: You know, people worry, you know. 102 00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:22,880 Speaker 5: People have difficulties with sadness and low moments, and so 103 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:24,240 Speaker 5: what I do in the book is. 104 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:26,200 Speaker 3: To talk about what do you do with that? 105 00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:28,760 Speaker 5: So given those moments, and they you know, they're transient, 106 00:04:28,839 --> 00:04:31,320 Speaker 5: like sometimes it's here, sometimes it's not. If we don't 107 00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:34,080 Speaker 5: address it, it can escalate, and so I talk about 108 00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:37,359 Speaker 5: that because we're humans, so it relates to it relates 109 00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:38,520 Speaker 5: for a lot of different communities. 110 00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:40,520 Speaker 2: And if you could add one chapter now right it's 111 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:42,359 Speaker 2: been five years, if there's something that you missed it 112 00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:44,320 Speaker 2: you just wanted to add one chapter to discuss, what 113 00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:45,200 Speaker 2: would that chapter be on? 114 00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:46,400 Speaker 3: Oh my goodness. 115 00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:48,880 Speaker 5: You know what I have thought about I will say 116 00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:53,600 Speaker 5: the most is when I talk about suicide. So I 117 00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:57,600 Speaker 5: start there in the book. I didn't necessarily want to 118 00:04:57,640 --> 00:05:00,280 Speaker 5: start there, but the publishers wanted to start art there 119 00:05:00,279 --> 00:05:02,160 Speaker 5: because that's my area of research. So that's the research 120 00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:03,760 Speaker 5: that I have been doing, you know, for more than 121 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:06,880 Speaker 5: twenty years. It's trying to understand risk and resilience related 122 00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:09,880 Speaker 5: to mental health crisis when someone decides they don't want 123 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:10,520 Speaker 5: to live anymore. 124 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:11,440 Speaker 1: And so the. 125 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:14,799 Speaker 5: Publisher said you need to start there, and I was like, ooh, 126 00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:17,040 Speaker 5: I don't. I don't think that's a good idea, you know, 127 00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:21,320 Speaker 5: not for my community. And since then we've had conversations 128 00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:23,560 Speaker 5: and they say, you know, okay, yeah, we kind of 129 00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:25,279 Speaker 5: get it. And so that's one thing I would definitely 130 00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:28,120 Speaker 5: do is to ease folks into that conversation maybe at 131 00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:30,960 Speaker 5: the end of the book rather than starting there. 132 00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:34,719 Speaker 3: So just so you're prepared, I kind of start there, yes. 133 00:05:35,560 --> 00:05:38,160 Speaker 2: Take I when to ask one thing about suicide before 134 00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:40,240 Speaker 2: you move on. You know, I was talking to my 135 00:05:40,279 --> 00:05:43,240 Speaker 2: wife about suicide because you see the suicide rates increase, 136 00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:45,440 Speaker 2: especially with young kids. People blame it on social media, 137 00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:47,760 Speaker 2: They blame on so many different things. Do you feel 138 00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:50,440 Speaker 2: like a lot of times a suicide is based off 139 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:53,839 Speaker 2: of people not believing somebody's going through like almost like 140 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:55,960 Speaker 2: I'm going to do it because I'm going to show you. 141 00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:57,200 Speaker 2: Do you see that a lot? 142 00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:00,320 Speaker 5: I don't what I do see though, is people who 143 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:03,960 Speaker 5: are in crisis and don't have the language to communicate 144 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:07,400 Speaker 5: one or or they don't think people will believe them, 145 00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:09,600 Speaker 5: you know. So people are struggling, and there are a 146 00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:12,240 Speaker 5: lot of folks who are struggling, you know, especially especially 147 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:15,320 Speaker 5: now and increasingly, and they don't have the wherewithal to 148 00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:16,760 Speaker 5: manage what they're going through. 149 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:19,360 Speaker 3: Or to be able to talk to folks who. 150 00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:22,200 Speaker 5: Are not going to judge them, because y'all know, there's 151 00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:26,919 Speaker 5: a lot of judgenus in our society, unfortunately. And the 152 00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:29,320 Speaker 5: sad thing about that judgingus is that it does keep 153 00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:33,560 Speaker 5: people from getting help. But the reality is, and you know, 154 00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:35,520 Speaker 5: I talk about it throughout the book, that if we 155 00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:38,279 Speaker 5: had a more informed society, and so this was my thinking. 156 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:40,600 Speaker 5: I wrote the book because the suicide death rates were 157 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:43,680 Speaker 5: increasing for black children age five to eleven, it was 158 00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:47,080 Speaker 5: decreasing at the same time for their white counterparts. And 159 00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:49,480 Speaker 5: so in my mind, because I know when people are 160 00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:51,680 Speaker 5: in crisis, it's hard to get help, and so they 161 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:54,360 Speaker 5: need the folks around them to be able to say, hey, 162 00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:57,719 Speaker 5: you know, you don't quite seem like yourself, or oh, 163 00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,839 Speaker 5: I know you've been going through some things recently. I 164 00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:02,560 Speaker 5: just want to check in on a zero to ten rating. 165 00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:05,839 Speaker 5: You know, where where are you? And so, in my mind, 166 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:08,760 Speaker 5: if we have a community around the struggling person, then 167 00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:11,040 Speaker 5: that's going to help them so much more than asking 168 00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:13,440 Speaker 5: them to reach out for help when they're already in crisis. 169 00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:14,520 Speaker 1: I'm glad you brought it. 170 00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:15,480 Speaker 2: I'm sorry. 171 00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:18,800 Speaker 6: Uh you called out beliefs like just pray about it 172 00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:21,320 Speaker 6: right as being part of the reason that black people 173 00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:25,360 Speaker 6: don't get formal help. What backlass did you face from that? 174 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:27,640 Speaker 5: You know, it's funny because I did have a couple 175 00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:31,520 Speaker 5: ordained ministers to read that chapter before it went into 176 00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:34,920 Speaker 5: the book, and one of them thanked me and the 177 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:37,720 Speaker 5: other one said, uh, doctor Walker, we're just going to 178 00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:37,960 Speaker 5: have to. 179 00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:39,520 Speaker 3: Agree to disagree. 180 00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:42,840 Speaker 5: And that was fine because I needed to be unapologetic 181 00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:45,960 Speaker 5: in calling out some of the things that we do 182 00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:49,680 Speaker 5: in the community that are problematic, like saying pray about it. 183 00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:53,320 Speaker 5: You know, when someone is really very depressed, and if 184 00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:55,640 Speaker 5: you say that to them and then they start to think, well, 185 00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:57,880 Speaker 5: maybe it's something wrong with me in my relationship with 186 00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:00,000 Speaker 5: God because I have been praying, Like why would you 187 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,840 Speaker 5: think I haven't prayed? And so telling someone to pray 188 00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:05,240 Speaker 5: about it, will tell them what to pray for, ask 189 00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:07,600 Speaker 5: them to or advise them to pray for a mental 190 00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:10,440 Speaker 5: health professional who's going to help them, you know, ask 191 00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:12,640 Speaker 5: them to pray for someone who's going to give them 192 00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:15,520 Speaker 5: a good, strong reference or something that they can do 193 00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:18,120 Speaker 5: or hold on to. But to say pray about it 194 00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:21,200 Speaker 5: and good luck, that's not helping people. And it saddens me. 195 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:24,600 Speaker 5: And it's almost heartbreaking when I still hear that, you know, 196 00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:25,840 Speaker 5: in twenty twenty five. 197 00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:26,920 Speaker 1: And I hate that hearing it. I'm sorry. 198 00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:28,240 Speaker 4: I hate off people who think it got to be 199 00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:31,520 Speaker 4: an either or like you can have God and therapy 200 00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:34,319 Speaker 4: because if I break my arm right now, you might 201 00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:35,599 Speaker 4: pray for me, but you still won't send me to 202 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:36,040 Speaker 4: a doctor. 203 00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:39,680 Speaker 5: Yes, absolutely, And there's someone who's made a T shirt 204 00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:41,960 Speaker 5: that said, you know that I pray, I pray and 205 00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:46,040 Speaker 5: go to therapy like please do, and even even better, 206 00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:50,839 Speaker 5: pray for a therapist who has some spiritual mindedness that 207 00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:53,680 Speaker 5: they can help you to integrate your faith in with 208 00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:57,440 Speaker 5: the therapy. And that's something that I trained PhD psychology 209 00:08:57,440 --> 00:08:59,240 Speaker 5: students to be able to do. You know, you got 210 00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:01,360 Speaker 5: to first ask someone because not everyone is a believer, 211 00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:04,400 Speaker 5: but ask them, you know, are you a person of faith? 212 00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:07,040 Speaker 5: What does that mean to you to be a person 213 00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:10,400 Speaker 5: of faith? Let's work together in order to be able 214 00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:12,840 Speaker 5: to help you using one of your resources, because yes, 215 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:16,000 Speaker 5: having faith is a resource. Having faith has gotten black 216 00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:19,120 Speaker 5: folks through a lot when there was nothing else. And 217 00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:21,199 Speaker 5: I talk about that to my one of my newest books, 218 00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:23,600 Speaker 5: You Know, no racial Elephants in the therapy room. I 219 00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:26,640 Speaker 5: talked to specifically to therapists to be able to work 220 00:09:26,679 --> 00:09:28,480 Speaker 5: with their clients and including their faith. 221 00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:31,120 Speaker 4: I think the Potter's House has done a fantastic job 222 00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:34,280 Speaker 4: of combining the two. You know, Bish you TDJ, Sagax, 223 00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:37,880 Speaker 4: Roberts Torrey, like they've they always talk about God. 224 00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:39,320 Speaker 1: But then also you've got to bring into. 225 00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:41,880 Speaker 4: Mental health professionals when this actual mental health crisis is 226 00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:42,200 Speaker 4: going on. 227 00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:44,880 Speaker 5: Yes, because a lot of folks don't understand, you know, 228 00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:47,600 Speaker 5: the psychological and the psychiatric part of it that you know, 229 00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:50,840 Speaker 5: we can't expect for pastors and ministers to do that. 230 00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:52,680 Speaker 5: That's not their training. For some of them it is, 231 00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:53,720 Speaker 5: but for most it's not. 232 00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:56,200 Speaker 4: You were talking about the language earlier, and that's a 233 00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:58,520 Speaker 4: conversation we always have, you know, here on the show 234 00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:01,319 Speaker 4: about how everybody has learned a lot of their language, right, 235 00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:05,200 Speaker 4: whether it's you know, depression, anxiety. Do you think that 236 00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:07,520 Speaker 4: people are self diagnosing too much? Are that just how 237 00:10:07,559 --> 00:10:08,400 Speaker 4: awareness starts? 238 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:12,080 Speaker 5: I think it's good for awareness because one of some 239 00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:14,080 Speaker 5: of the feedback that I've gotten about the book is 240 00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:16,760 Speaker 5: folks saying they didn't know what was going on with them, 241 00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:19,360 Speaker 5: and so they appreciate having language to be able to 242 00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:22,400 Speaker 5: communicate what's going on for them. So that's definitely a 243 00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:25,480 Speaker 5: good thing. But I do think that there is a 244 00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:28,560 Speaker 5: lot of self diagnosis and it ends there. So if 245 00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:32,440 Speaker 5: your diagnosis is I have higher than what is helpful 246 00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:36,520 Speaker 5: level of anxiety, go see a professional. If it is 247 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:40,160 Speaker 5: my depression keeps me from being able to cook meals 248 00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:43,480 Speaker 5: for my family, I don't know what to do, go 249 00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:46,840 Speaker 5: see a professional who can help diagnose and give a 250 00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:50,439 Speaker 5: roadmap for what needs to happen next. But yeah, the 251 00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:54,400 Speaker 5: TikTok therapy is kind of concerning the kid. 252 00:10:54,679 --> 00:10:56,360 Speaker 2: The kids is what scares me because the kid will 253 00:10:56,360 --> 00:10:58,520 Speaker 2: say I'm depressed, and then if you ask the kay, 254 00:10:58,520 --> 00:10:59,439 Speaker 2: well what does depressed mean? 255 00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:00,640 Speaker 1: I don't know. 256 00:11:00,679 --> 00:11:02,280 Speaker 2: I can't even say I don't know I'm just upset 257 00:11:02,280 --> 00:11:03,840 Speaker 2: I failed the test and I'm depressed. You no, you're 258 00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:04,320 Speaker 2: not depressed. 259 00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:04,880 Speaker 1: You know what I mean. 260 00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:06,080 Speaker 2: But that's my only fear. 261 00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:08,400 Speaker 1: I wanted to ask. We had on that for a second. 262 00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:10,360 Speaker 4: Isn't that how we Isn't that a thing though, because 263 00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:14,280 Speaker 4: like when we were young, we knew we were feeling something. 264 00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:15,440 Speaker 1: We just didn't know what it was. We didn't even 265 00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:17,280 Speaker 1: have the language to say depressed. 266 00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:20,320 Speaker 2: But you could be sad. Depressed is different being sad, 267 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:22,680 Speaker 2: like it's different. 268 00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:27,280 Speaker 1: But doesn't certain can sadness lead to the depression? Constant sadness? Right? 269 00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:32,880 Speaker 5: Yes, So if you're sad for several weeks, if you're 270 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:36,680 Speaker 5: sad for for two weeks or more, then you could 271 00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:40,640 Speaker 5: be depressed. I mean there there's certainly levels to depression, 272 00:11:40,679 --> 00:11:43,360 Speaker 5: and that's why help it's helpful to go to a licensed, 273 00:11:43,559 --> 00:11:50,080 Speaker 5: trained professional to be able to disentangle what might be happening. So, yeah, 274 00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:52,560 Speaker 5: if you fail to test, I want you to be sad. 275 00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:53,000 Speaker 1: I'm sad. 276 00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:55,040 Speaker 2: I'm sad for the day. I'm sad for a couple 277 00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:57,079 Speaker 2: of hours, but that doesn't mean depressed because tomorrow you're 278 00:11:57,080 --> 00:11:58,160 Speaker 2: back outside playing. 279 00:11:57,880 --> 00:12:00,120 Speaker 3: Soccer exactly exactly, and that's what we're. 280 00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:02,800 Speaker 2: It's a very dangerous even anxiety. Like when I hear 281 00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:05,440 Speaker 2: a kid say it, I'm like, I just realized what 282 00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:06,959 Speaker 2: anxiety was a couple of years ago. How you know 283 00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:08,760 Speaker 2: what it is to us? 284 00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:11,600 Speaker 5: But they're smart, but you know, so for those of 285 00:12:11,679 --> 00:12:14,040 Speaker 5: us who are you know, who are older, who can 286 00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:16,679 Speaker 5: talk to young people, we can just ask what does 287 00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:17,560 Speaker 5: that mean for you? 288 00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:19,480 Speaker 3: What does that look like for you? 289 00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:23,040 Speaker 5: Because even as a professional, if I'm seeing someone or 290 00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:25,640 Speaker 5: a client for the first time, I'm asking them they 291 00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:28,439 Speaker 5: because they come in, they watch TikTok, you know, they 292 00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:32,199 Speaker 5: come in and they're saying, I'm depressed, and I still 293 00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:34,439 Speaker 5: need to know what does your depression look like? Because 294 00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:37,319 Speaker 5: your depression might be, you know, not being not wanting 295 00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:39,520 Speaker 5: to eat, Maybe you feel really very sad and you 296 00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:42,040 Speaker 5: don't want to be around people. But your depression might 297 00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:44,480 Speaker 5: be like you're doing too much, you know, because you're 298 00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:47,319 Speaker 5: trying to compensate for the depression, and your depression might 299 00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:51,559 Speaker 5: look like you're overeating. And everyone is experiencing depression, and 300 00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:53,440 Speaker 5: so we have to be able to ask not just 301 00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:56,360 Speaker 5: for our clients, but for everyday people, what does that 302 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:58,440 Speaker 5: look like for you? Because It also gives us a 303 00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:00,880 Speaker 5: point of intervention. You know, So if you're feeling more 304 00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:03,520 Speaker 5: like you need to be isolated from folks, then okay, 305 00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:05,679 Speaker 5: maybe I'll let you go be to yourself for a 306 00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:07,680 Speaker 5: little while, and then I'll check in and say, Okay, 307 00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:09,840 Speaker 5: how are you doing today. We don't even have to 308 00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:12,360 Speaker 5: talk about the situation that you're going through. I just 309 00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:14,760 Speaker 5: want you to know I'm here for you. People need 310 00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:17,560 Speaker 5: to know that someone is going to be there for 311 00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:19,480 Speaker 5: them and that they're not going to judge them. 312 00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:21,600 Speaker 1: I think whatever I think. 313 00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:24,800 Speaker 4: Basically, you're just telling people, don't self not diagnose if 314 00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:28,320 Speaker 4: you think there's something there, and go seek help from professional. 315 00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:30,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, please, gotcha? Please. 316 00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:32,560 Speaker 2: I wanted to ask to what are some of the 317 00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:35,280 Speaker 2: myths that our community still have with therapy? 318 00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:35,520 Speaker 1: Right? 319 00:13:35,559 --> 00:13:38,240 Speaker 2: We had an artist's name is Rob four nine. You 320 00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:40,360 Speaker 2: heard of him? What the helly? Okay, don't worry about it. 321 00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:44,480 Speaker 2: But he was saying basically that he feels like he 322 00:13:44,559 --> 00:13:48,120 Speaker 2: needs therapy, but he doesn't necessarily want to go because 323 00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:51,160 Speaker 2: he can't. He doesn't see himself talking to them. People 324 00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:53,240 Speaker 2: don't trust them, you know, he doesn't trust them. So 325 00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:55,080 Speaker 2: what are some of the myths that you still. 326 00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:57,360 Speaker 5: See, well, that's certainly one of them. They gonna tell 327 00:13:57,360 --> 00:14:00,120 Speaker 5: all my business, and that's important. We you know, you 328 00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:01,840 Speaker 5: can't have folks, you can't have your business in the 329 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:06,079 Speaker 5: street like that's something that is unacceptable in our community. 330 00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:09,600 Speaker 5: And so for that person. And I encounter a lot 331 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:12,640 Speaker 5: of those folks who are struggling. You see it, you know, 332 00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:16,760 Speaker 5: we see it. But if they're not ready, then you 333 00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:20,120 Speaker 5: can't force them to go and talk to someone. That's 334 00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:23,480 Speaker 5: that's one part. And I there's so many folks, you know, 335 00:14:23,520 --> 00:14:25,680 Speaker 5: and that's why we have to be non judgmental because 336 00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:27,320 Speaker 5: if we say, like this is what I see, just 337 00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:29,160 Speaker 5: want you to know I'm concerned, and then back off, 338 00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:31,120 Speaker 5: then they know who they can go and talk to, 339 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:33,600 Speaker 5: like this person express concern, they seem concerned about me, 340 00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:36,240 Speaker 5: I will go to them. But yes, those big myths 341 00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:38,160 Speaker 5: that are those people are going to tell on my business. 342 00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:41,080 Speaker 5: That's one part. The other part is what can they 343 00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:43,440 Speaker 5: tell me. They're not gonna be able to tell me. 344 00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:45,800 Speaker 5: They don't they don't even know me. But that's part 345 00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:49,160 Speaker 5: of the process, is getting to know the client. There 346 00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:51,040 Speaker 5: isn't a single person who is sit in front of 347 00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:53,240 Speaker 5: me that I would say, I know their life story, 348 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:56,200 Speaker 5: I know how to help them. I'm gonna start with questions. 349 00:14:56,320 --> 00:15:00,200 Speaker 5: I got questions first, and then the other part is 350 00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:03,240 Speaker 5: you know something. I think that is they're gonna make 351 00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:07,520 Speaker 5: me someone that I'm not and I need to maintain myself. 352 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:09,880 Speaker 5: Like I don't know a professional who has the power 353 00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:13,360 Speaker 5: to be able to magically make someone different. The goal 354 00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:15,880 Speaker 5: would be to make them a better functioning person, you know, 355 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:18,080 Speaker 5: to take on their responsibilities and do the best that 356 00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:20,120 Speaker 5: they can, but not to make them a different person. 357 00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:22,480 Speaker 2: I do have a question what is a therapist allowed 358 00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:23,120 Speaker 2: to talk about? 359 00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:23,440 Speaker 1: Right? 360 00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:27,720 Speaker 2: So if I see a murder, if I murder somebody, 361 00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:31,000 Speaker 2: if I see domestic violence, if I see somebody getting hurt, 362 00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:33,160 Speaker 2: it always brings me back to the Mendez brothers right 363 00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:35,200 Speaker 2: where they were talking to the therapists, and the therapists 364 00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:37,240 Speaker 2: use some of the stuff on the court case. So 365 00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:39,680 Speaker 2: when you see stuff like that and something is going 366 00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:42,120 Speaker 2: through my mind, I'm like, I ain't gonna tell nobody 367 00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:45,120 Speaker 2: because what if they use it later? But then I 368 00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:47,560 Speaker 2: might have to tell somebody to heal. So what can 369 00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:49,080 Speaker 2: you guys tell? 370 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:50,040 Speaker 1: And what you know? 371 00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:52,520 Speaker 2: What is just you know, patient crime privilege. 372 00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:56,960 Speaker 1: Yes, you got to go to prison for us, you can. 373 00:15:57,440 --> 00:15:59,720 Speaker 2: But I'm sure there's people that have seen crimes, have 374 00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:02,600 Speaker 2: yet crimes, and they're going through things like I'll just 375 00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:04,560 Speaker 2: use Robe four nine again. He said that he's seen 376 00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:06,800 Speaker 2: so many things in his past, he seemed death, so 377 00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:08,600 Speaker 2: much of his past, but he might not want to 378 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:10,160 Speaker 2: tell because he might want not want to get some 379 00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:10,760 Speaker 2: money in trouble. 380 00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:13,800 Speaker 3: Well, in that example, he can say I've seen. 381 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:20,000 Speaker 5: Okay, So anyone can say they've seen something without giving 382 00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:23,280 Speaker 5: you know, facts or specifics and not expect for the 383 00:16:23,280 --> 00:16:25,600 Speaker 5: police to come in and haul them off. But what 384 00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:27,120 Speaker 5: I will say is so we talk in the first 385 00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:31,200 Speaker 5: session about confidentiality, like confidentiality is part of the bedrock 386 00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:33,920 Speaker 5: of what we do as licensed professionals, Like you can't 387 00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:36,680 Speaker 5: just go out and yap about what people have been 388 00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:40,640 Speaker 5: sharing or what they've disclosed in therapy. Now, the other 389 00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:42,720 Speaker 5: thing that we emphasize is if someone says that they 390 00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:45,080 Speaker 5: could be a harm to themselves or danger to themselves 391 00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:48,080 Speaker 5: or to someone else, then that information might have to 392 00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:50,320 Speaker 5: be disclosed in order to be able to protect that 393 00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:53,280 Speaker 5: person's life or to protect the life of someone else 394 00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:57,640 Speaker 5: if they are if there's a danger or abuse of children, 395 00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:02,120 Speaker 5: elderly or people who have disabilities or different abilities, then 396 00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:04,679 Speaker 5: that would have to be disclosed, and to be honest, 397 00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:06,639 Speaker 5: it varies by state, but that's, you know, kind of 398 00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:09,080 Speaker 5: a minimum threshold to be aware of because at the 399 00:17:09,119 --> 00:17:11,280 Speaker 5: end of the day, the client has to be able 400 00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:13,840 Speaker 5: to talk to their therapists because they aren't going to 401 00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:15,280 Speaker 5: be able to get the healing and the help that 402 00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:17,399 Speaker 5: they need if they can't get some stuff off of 403 00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:19,920 Speaker 5: their chest. But then once they do that, then there 404 00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:22,560 Speaker 5: has to be some understanding about what's going to happen next. 405 00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:25,919 Speaker 4: You haven't mentionalbody so toxic like they made your therapist 406 00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:28,000 Speaker 4: energy say yeah, I can't help you. 407 00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:33,399 Speaker 5: So there have been a couple of occasions, and so 408 00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:35,720 Speaker 5: what I have done for the most part is supervise 409 00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:40,040 Speaker 5: PhD students in training. And there have been occasions, as 410 00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:44,840 Speaker 5: an example, where the client was racist, or the client 411 00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:49,200 Speaker 5: was doing harm to animals and the therapist was having 412 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:52,640 Speaker 5: a really difficult time because of I mean, that would 413 00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:58,199 Speaker 5: be hard for hopefully anyone and supervisors do approach this 414 00:17:58,280 --> 00:18:00,200 Speaker 5: work differently, I will say that, and that's one of 415 00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:02,560 Speaker 5: the reasons you may get different stories and different narratives 416 00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:05,560 Speaker 5: from different professionals because folks approach some of the work differently. 417 00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:08,080 Speaker 5: But for me, you can't have a client who is 418 00:18:08,119 --> 00:18:11,760 Speaker 5: disrespecting you or who is making you feel nauseous or 419 00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:15,200 Speaker 5: uncomfortable on the inside and do your work like that's 420 00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:18,000 Speaker 5: you can't do that. And so we're human first, like 421 00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:20,919 Speaker 5: you know therapists professionals, we are human first, but we 422 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:24,680 Speaker 5: still also have a responsibility and obligation to be able 423 00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:26,080 Speaker 5: to provide the best possible care. 424 00:18:26,359 --> 00:18:26,959 Speaker 1: Absolutely. 425 00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:30,120 Speaker 4: We got a good friend, good friend of mine, name's 426 00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:32,280 Speaker 4: Humble the Poet, and he put out a book called Unanxious, 427 00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:35,359 Speaker 4: Fifty simple truths to help overthinkers feel less stress and 428 00:18:35,359 --> 00:18:38,000 Speaker 4: more calm. And I want to read just a quick 429 00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:39,639 Speaker 4: little line from it because I want to know what 430 00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:41,400 Speaker 4: you think about it. He says, life doesn't begin after 431 00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:43,960 Speaker 4: the obstacles. Life is the obstacles, and we have to 432 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:45,440 Speaker 4: unlearn the idea. 433 00:18:45,119 --> 00:18:45,800 Speaker 1: That we need. 434 00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:48,560 Speaker 4: I would even want a life free of chaos, stress, 435 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:53,720 Speaker 4: and anxiety. We grow from facing challenges and exploring our limits. 436 00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:57,080 Speaker 4: And the book encourages people to face their stressors and 437 00:18:57,119 --> 00:19:02,479 Speaker 4: triggers head on with research techniques and journal prompts and 438 00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:05,080 Speaker 4: We had a discussion here on Breakfast Club because I'm like, 439 00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:10,159 Speaker 4: if I know something triggers me, I feel that I 440 00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:12,520 Speaker 4: reserve the right to disconnect from it and set my 441 00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:14,520 Speaker 4: boundary and not deal with that thing. He feels like, 442 00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:18,040 Speaker 4: you should sit with the thing so the thing doesn't 443 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:19,120 Speaker 4: trigger you anymore. 444 00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:22,159 Speaker 5: Well, I think you know how I feel about the 445 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:25,359 Speaker 5: word should, so I avoid it at all costs. And 446 00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:27,640 Speaker 5: so if there is something in you that says, in 447 00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:30,960 Speaker 5: this moment, I need to avoid this thing, I'm going 448 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:33,639 Speaker 5: to honor that. But I'm also going to ask you 449 00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:36,840 Speaker 5: questions about what is happening for you? What are you 450 00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:40,320 Speaker 5: telling yourself? So I'm a cognitive behavioral therapist, and so 451 00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:44,200 Speaker 5: for me, you know, thoughts connect with behaviors, connect with feelings. 452 00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:46,879 Speaker 5: So it all starts with, yes, something happened, But what 453 00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:49,919 Speaker 5: is your thought in response to the thing? So is 454 00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:52,720 Speaker 5: your thought in that moment? I can't deal with this. 455 00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:54,800 Speaker 5: This is gonna hurt me, This is gonna harm me. 456 00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:57,840 Speaker 5: I can't survive this because it happens, it plays out 457 00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:01,560 Speaker 5: automatically before folks recognize, and so we have to slow 458 00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:04,600 Speaker 5: down the process. Okay, tell me the facts. Tell me 459 00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:08,760 Speaker 5: what happened, tell me what your next thought was, because 460 00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:10,639 Speaker 5: most people don't have a sense of what was the 461 00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:12,920 Speaker 5: next thought, and as a therapist, I have to slow 462 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:17,639 Speaker 5: things way down to understand. However, in order for you 463 00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:19,960 Speaker 5: to feel like I can deal with this, whatever this 464 00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:22,360 Speaker 5: situation is, or I need to be able to deal 465 00:20:22,359 --> 00:20:25,040 Speaker 5: with this in order to be successful in life, then 466 00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:26,480 Speaker 5: we got to figure out how to allow you to 467 00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:27,919 Speaker 5: be able to do that, because yes, I think what 468 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:29,879 Speaker 5: I heard him saying was, you know, people need to 469 00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:33,080 Speaker 5: be able to adapt to new and novel situations and 470 00:20:33,119 --> 00:20:36,639 Speaker 5: circumstances in order to grow. In order to feel like, Okay, 471 00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:39,760 Speaker 5: I got this, you know I can be successful in life. 472 00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:43,000 Speaker 5: But I would I would pause, I'd hit the pause button. 473 00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:46,200 Speaker 5: Something happens, person wants to avoid, and I'm like, okay, 474 00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:48,840 Speaker 5: tell me what just happened, because again I'm asking questions. 475 00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:50,520 Speaker 5: I want to know what's going on for you, because 476 00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:52,560 Speaker 5: I don't assume anything about anybody. 477 00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:54,399 Speaker 2: See, I was like when he was there, I was like, 478 00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:57,040 Speaker 2: f that adapt right, And I'll explain to you if 479 00:20:57,119 --> 00:20:59,640 Speaker 2: I don't like you because you're a negative person. You're 480 00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:03,720 Speaker 2: always putting me down, and I just don't feel good 481 00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:07,040 Speaker 2: energy around you. You don't affect me in any which way. 482 00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:08,680 Speaker 2: So I can cut you off and say, you know what, 483 00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:10,639 Speaker 2: I'm not answering your phone anymore. I don't work with you. 484 00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:12,280 Speaker 2: I don't have to see you, and I should that 485 00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:14,520 Speaker 2: should be my right to do that, because my energy 486 00:21:14,760 --> 00:21:17,080 Speaker 2: is more important than this friendship. I don't have to 487 00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:18,600 Speaker 2: sit in it. I don't have to adapt. I don't 488 00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:20,160 Speaker 2: care if you like me or not. But that's how 489 00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:21,760 Speaker 2: we should be. I think a lot of times we 490 00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:24,120 Speaker 2: try to adapt in things, and we try to make 491 00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:25,600 Speaker 2: things right, and I think a lot of times it 492 00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:26,480 Speaker 2: hurts more than help. 493 00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:30,720 Speaker 5: Yeah, you know, and I respect that one hundred percent. 494 00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:33,199 Speaker 5: And I can say that there have been maybe the 495 00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:35,400 Speaker 5: middle ground, because you never know, you just you never 496 00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:38,200 Speaker 5: know if someone says something to you, or they bring 497 00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:41,119 Speaker 5: you a certain kind of energy, and maybe you do 498 00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:43,719 Speaker 5: have some relationship with the person that you're willing to 499 00:21:43,880 --> 00:21:46,639 Speaker 5: consider and preserve. Why not say to them, you know, 500 00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:48,639 Speaker 5: when you do X, Y and Z, when you do 501 00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:51,240 Speaker 5: that thing right there, when you do this, this is 502 00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:54,520 Speaker 5: how I feel when that happens. Maybe they didn't know, 503 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:56,840 Speaker 5: you know, maybe they thought they were doing a good thing. 504 00:21:57,119 --> 00:21:59,640 Speaker 5: And I think that allows us to be more in community, 505 00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:01,560 Speaker 5: because we need. 506 00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:02,800 Speaker 3: More and more community. 507 00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:04,320 Speaker 2: I hear what you're saying. I used to try to 508 00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:07,760 Speaker 2: thinkams over there to show me something different, right, Short, 509 00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:09,960 Speaker 2: I used to do that too, Like you try to 510 00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:12,240 Speaker 2: adapt to people, you do things that sometimes you don't 511 00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:13,760 Speaker 2: want to do because you feel like it's the right 512 00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:16,120 Speaker 2: thing to do. Right, and Short Thinkham's over there would 513 00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:18,520 Speaker 2: be like, no, I'm not gonna do it because that 514 00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:21,240 Speaker 2: doesn't make me happy. It might make you happy for 515 00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:22,960 Speaker 2: what you do. I work hard, but I want to 516 00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:25,040 Speaker 2: protect my piece. And I didn't understand it for a while, 517 00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:26,960 Speaker 2: right because Short things just wouldn't go He was like, 518 00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:28,960 Speaker 2: I'm not doing it, You're not catch me, and I 519 00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:31,639 Speaker 2: wouldn't get it. But then after a while I understood, 520 00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:34,960 Speaker 2: and I'm like, yeah, if this is gonna up my piece, 521 00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:37,320 Speaker 2: if this is not gonna make me happy, I'm gonna 522 00:22:37,359 --> 00:22:39,440 Speaker 2: I'm gonna stage in my life where you know what effort. 523 00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:41,000 Speaker 2: And I agree with Shaw Thinkhams. 524 00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:45,080 Speaker 1: It's a little pet nickname for me. Sey'all, men can't 525 00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:46,800 Speaker 1: even just say my name. He can't even say my name. 526 00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:48,439 Speaker 4: He gotta give me a little cute nickname to be 527 00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:50,440 Speaker 4: vulnerable just to express himself. 528 00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:52,080 Speaker 1: You know what I mean, that make you feel better? 529 00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:55,440 Speaker 4: Yes, okay, thank you, thank you, my wiffle colored negro. 530 00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:57,480 Speaker 1: Thank you. It's my babe over there. 531 00:22:57,880 --> 00:22:59,040 Speaker 3: That's such a beautiful moment. 532 00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:06,560 Speaker 1: Yes, look, so this is my question. 533 00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:08,120 Speaker 3: I don't know if maybe you can help me with this. 534 00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:09,640 Speaker 1: Right, you don't even know what you just said. That's 535 00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:10,560 Speaker 1: what that's the funny question. 536 00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:17,280 Speaker 6: That was a moment for him to get a short look. 537 00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:23,360 Speaker 6: I need uh So, just last night, right, I could 538 00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:25,520 Speaker 6: not go to sleep. I could not go to sleep. 539 00:23:25,720 --> 00:23:28,439 Speaker 6: I have problems sleeping. And I noticed you said at 540 00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:31,400 Speaker 6: the beginning of the interview right where. But my thing 541 00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:35,600 Speaker 6: is I can't turn my mind off. That's the that's 542 00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:37,240 Speaker 6: the main thing. I don't know how to turn my 543 00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:40,840 Speaker 6: brain off. I'm thinking about things I could be doing 544 00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:44,000 Speaker 6: rather than getting sleep. I'm thinking about Damn, I forgot 545 00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:46,920 Speaker 6: to do this today. It's not enough hours in a day. 546 00:23:47,119 --> 00:23:48,520 Speaker 3: I you know what I. 547 00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:50,600 Speaker 6: Mean, Like I have like a whole schedule in my mind. 548 00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:53,040 Speaker 6: I never get it done. I feel guilty when I'm 549 00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:57,600 Speaker 6: just sitting around, right, But I'm not supposed to feel 550 00:23:57,640 --> 00:24:01,760 Speaker 6: like that, right Because also the guy that they were 551 00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:04,400 Speaker 6: just referring to Humble poet. He was also saying we're 552 00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:07,960 Speaker 6: not designed to take in as much that we take 553 00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:11,080 Speaker 6: in now between like the social media, everything that we're fed, 554 00:24:11,359 --> 00:24:14,480 Speaker 6: like even the algorithm. Like I because I've been thinking 555 00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:16,399 Speaker 6: about it since he said it, and it's like, yo, like, 556 00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:19,080 Speaker 6: first thing I do, I wake up, You know, I 557 00:24:19,119 --> 00:24:20,680 Speaker 6: will pray, but I don't pray till I get in 558 00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:22,960 Speaker 6: the car. I check my phone and then like even 559 00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:26,240 Speaker 6: when I'm scrolling, it'll be a video, say, it'll be comedy, 560 00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:27,760 Speaker 6: then it'll be another one about church, that it'll be 561 00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:30,199 Speaker 6: nothing about something else about Donald Trump, to be something 562 00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:32,200 Speaker 6: about the gaye you know, they everywhere, and then I 563 00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:34,200 Speaker 6: scroll up again and it'll be something else. And then 564 00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:37,119 Speaker 6: you know, it's like but I'm not getting a chance 565 00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:41,760 Speaker 6: to process each and every video, right, So it's so 566 00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:45,439 Speaker 6: much information that I'm downloading, and it's like I'm not 567 00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:45,920 Speaker 6: a robot. 568 00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:47,119 Speaker 2: I supposed to be okay. 569 00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:49,240 Speaker 6: With silence for a while, you know, then I got 570 00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:51,280 Speaker 6: a nine month old. Then I'm a wife, and then 571 00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:54,639 Speaker 6: I got It's so much so when I'm laying down, 572 00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:59,080 Speaker 6: I cannot silence my mind my thoughts to go to sleep. 573 00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:01,840 Speaker 3: Ever, can't ever silence. 574 00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:05,160 Speaker 6: Most of the time, not not ever, because weed will 575 00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:07,199 Speaker 6: help me do that just being honest with you, Like 576 00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:10,919 Speaker 6: I will hit a blunt and I will laugh and 577 00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:13,879 Speaker 6: then I'll be out for a minute. But that's really 578 00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:17,200 Speaker 6: the only thing that helps me get good rest weed. 579 00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:20,400 Speaker 5: So you know, and I've heard you talk about your schedule, 580 00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:23,520 Speaker 5: you know, and you know getting up and I think 581 00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:25,280 Speaker 5: you said like four in the morning, but then you 582 00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:27,960 Speaker 5: go to bed late at night, and so you know, 583 00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:31,480 Speaker 5: So there's so many different layers to this, because yes, 584 00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:34,720 Speaker 5: you are doing a lot. But one of the things 585 00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:36,560 Speaker 5: that I heard you say just now was even when 586 00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:39,000 Speaker 5: you're kind of sitting, you feel like you're supposed to 587 00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:42,760 Speaker 5: be doing something, and so you're also telling yourself, I'm 588 00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:46,160 Speaker 5: supposed to be doing something other than resting. So that's 589 00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:48,560 Speaker 5: that's one thing for you to be mindful of. But then, 590 00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:51,560 Speaker 5: you know, I think it's especially in this day and age, 591 00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:55,080 Speaker 5: it's easy to wake up or not to fall asleep 592 00:25:55,119 --> 00:25:57,000 Speaker 5: because your mind is racing. 593 00:25:57,359 --> 00:25:59,040 Speaker 3: I was telling my husband this morning. 594 00:25:59,119 --> 00:26:01,199 Speaker 5: I woke up at three o clock and I started 595 00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:04,160 Speaker 5: to think about this conversation, and then I was thinking, Okay, 596 00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:06,320 Speaker 5: I can say this I'll say that ooh and ooh, 597 00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:08,880 Speaker 5: and I was like, okay, stop and I know better, right, 598 00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:11,040 Speaker 5: I have the tools and the resources, and I was 599 00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:13,600 Speaker 5: like quit it. And then that didn't work, and I said, Okay, 600 00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:16,160 Speaker 5: we're gonna do ten more minutes. And then that didn't work, 601 00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:18,119 Speaker 5: and I was like, Okay, we have to start doing 602 00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:21,040 Speaker 5: our progressive muscle relaxation in order to be able to 603 00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:21,520 Speaker 5: calm down. 604 00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:23,479 Speaker 3: So there are strategies. 605 00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:26,359 Speaker 5: Progressive muscle relaxation. So for me, it's when I close 606 00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:29,320 Speaker 5: my eyes and I'm breathing deeply, and I tell myself 607 00:26:29,359 --> 00:26:32,520 Speaker 5: that with each exhalation to release the tension. And I 608 00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:35,280 Speaker 5: start with my forehead and eyebrows because I'm literally sometimes 609 00:26:35,359 --> 00:26:39,160 Speaker 5: like this in bed. It was in Bens, like yeah, 610 00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:40,879 Speaker 5: and so I have to tell myself to release and 611 00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:44,480 Speaker 5: I go everybody part, ears, nose, and then I allow 612 00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:47,440 Speaker 5: my body to be able to relax into the moment 613 00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:50,720 Speaker 5: because I'm literally not just thinking, but I'm feeling it 614 00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:51,960 Speaker 5: in my body and. 615 00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:54,000 Speaker 3: I have to be able to relax. 616 00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:57,160 Speaker 5: That the other thing that I recommend, and I put 617 00:26:57,160 --> 00:26:59,399 Speaker 5: this in the workbook. So I did the unapologetic guy, 618 00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:01,400 Speaker 5: and I have then the power legetic workbook is giving 619 00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:04,359 Speaker 5: folks permission to before you go to bed, like some 620 00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:06,359 Speaker 5: people need to keep a notepad in a pen, not 621 00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:08,800 Speaker 5: the phone, but a notepad and a pen by the 622 00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:11,520 Speaker 5: bed so that when all of these thoughts come to mind, 623 00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:14,600 Speaker 5: you write them down. You write them down before you 624 00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:16,880 Speaker 5: get into bed, Like everything that comes about, okay, write 625 00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:19,399 Speaker 5: it down and then okay, try that if that you 626 00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:21,240 Speaker 5: know you wake up, Okay, write somewhere down. 627 00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:23,280 Speaker 3: I didn't have a notepad last night. I was like, okay, 628 00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:24,000 Speaker 3: we're just gonna. 629 00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:27,560 Speaker 5: Bug this out, but be able to write down all 630 00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:29,760 Speaker 5: the things that come to your mind to release it, 631 00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:32,479 Speaker 5: because otherwise you're going to ruminate about it, and that 632 00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:35,800 Speaker 5: rumination will absolutely keep you up for hours. 633 00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:38,760 Speaker 1: Yeah. Now, I learned a lot of those techniques from you. 634 00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:41,400 Speaker 4: And it's funny because you know, my three year old 635 00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:43,119 Speaker 4: and look at me, see you see daddy, why you 636 00:27:43,160 --> 00:27:46,119 Speaker 4: doing like this? And I don't even realize I'm doing it. 637 00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:47,840 Speaker 4: And then when she tells me that, that's when I 638 00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:50,560 Speaker 4: do those I try to do that technique to just relax. 639 00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:52,720 Speaker 4: But another thing I want you to talk to Jess about. 640 00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:56,560 Speaker 4: When you go to your website, it says reclaim your mind. 641 00:27:57,000 --> 00:28:00,000 Speaker 4: What does that statement mean to you? 642 00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:06,119 Speaker 5: We are a very very powerful people. And this is 643 00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:08,760 Speaker 5: what I'm hoping that we eventually get to, you know, 644 00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:11,120 Speaker 5: maybe not in the next five years or even ten years, 645 00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:14,399 Speaker 5: but for the next generation, that we get back to 646 00:28:14,680 --> 00:28:17,600 Speaker 5: knowing who we are as black people, as people of 647 00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:21,520 Speaker 5: African descent. You know, there's so much negativity associated folks 648 00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:23,440 Speaker 5: like I don't want to be African, you know, some 649 00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:26,480 Speaker 5: folks now say I just want to be American. But 650 00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:30,080 Speaker 5: the brilliance, the collective brilliance in our community is there, 651 00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:34,159 Speaker 5: but it is way down by anxiety and depression. And 652 00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:35,680 Speaker 5: for those who don't know, we talk a lot about 653 00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:38,719 Speaker 5: anxiety and depression because those are the two most commonly 654 00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:42,920 Speaker 5: diagnosed challenges. When we are way down with that, and 655 00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:47,520 Speaker 5: sometimes it comes from racism, microaggressions out of nowhere. You know, 656 00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:49,800 Speaker 5: yourt your job, just trying to mind your business, working 657 00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:51,960 Speaker 5: on a project, and somebody says, oh, how'd you get 658 00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:52,320 Speaker 5: that job? 659 00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:53,560 Speaker 3: And you're like, well, what do you mean by that? 660 00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:56,160 Speaker 5: And you're ruminating about that, Like, we just get weighed 661 00:28:56,200 --> 00:28:59,320 Speaker 5: down by so much stuff that when we can get 662 00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:02,120 Speaker 5: back to a place when we recognize that we are 663 00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:05,000 Speaker 5: a brilliant people that when we can come together, maybe 664 00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:08,400 Speaker 5: sometimes kneel together if need be, When we can come together, 665 00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:11,320 Speaker 5: then we can reclaim who we are and we can 666 00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:14,960 Speaker 5: use our immense talents and gifts that we have. Then 667 00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:17,560 Speaker 5: we can use them, and then we will live collectively 668 00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:20,880 Speaker 5: much more fulfilling lives, like we weren't meant to exist 669 00:29:20,960 --> 00:29:24,160 Speaker 5: as individuals. Like that's a Eurocentric way of seeing the world. 670 00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:27,080 Speaker 5: We are African people. You know, we don't have brother 671 00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:29,400 Speaker 5: and you know, we don't have cousin and distant cousin 672 00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:31,800 Speaker 5: and in laws. You know, we have brother and sister, 673 00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:33,960 Speaker 5: like we are family, and so we need to get 674 00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:36,160 Speaker 5: back to that in order to kind of resist the 675 00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:37,840 Speaker 5: stuff that's happening out there. 676 00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:39,720 Speaker 4: I got a couple of question because you talked about 677 00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:42,520 Speaker 4: psychological fortitude earlier, which is a concept you introduced in 678 00:29:42,560 --> 00:29:45,000 Speaker 4: the book and declare confusion around mental health. You talk 679 00:29:45,040 --> 00:29:47,560 Speaker 4: about psychological fortitude, can you break down what that is 680 00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:49,360 Speaker 4: just for people and why that's the game changing? 681 00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:52,040 Speaker 5: Absolutely, because you know, just think on a day to 682 00:29:52,120 --> 00:29:54,280 Speaker 5: day basis, you ask somebody how they're doing, and they 683 00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:56,840 Speaker 5: say I'm good, I'm good. 684 00:29:57,280 --> 00:29:59,160 Speaker 3: You know, they may or may not mean it. 685 00:29:59,720 --> 00:30:02,480 Speaker 5: But that's the answer that they give because oftentimes, you know, 686 00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:04,560 Speaker 5: we think people don't want to know, maybe we don't 687 00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:07,720 Speaker 5: know how well we're doing. But psychological fortitude is the 688 00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:11,160 Speaker 5: zero to ten rating of a few different things. It's 689 00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:15,320 Speaker 5: it's basically your capacity to function. So take care of 690 00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:18,920 Speaker 5: your work responsibilities and or school responsibilities, because this can 691 00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:22,000 Speaker 5: apply to children and teens. Also to be able to 692 00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:23,160 Speaker 5: take care of your family. 693 00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:23,880 Speaker 3: Maybe you got the in. 694 00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:25,840 Speaker 5: Laws at the house, you got other cousins, you got 695 00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:28,200 Speaker 5: folks at the house. To be able to take care 696 00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:31,320 Speaker 5: of your physical health. You know, health health is a 697 00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:34,240 Speaker 5: serious concern in our community for a number of different reasons. 698 00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:36,240 Speaker 5: We got to be able to exercise and eat, write 699 00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:38,160 Speaker 5: and do all the things while not sleeping. You know, 700 00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:39,680 Speaker 5: you want a bag of chip sometimes when you can't 701 00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:42,320 Speaker 5: sleep in your stressed out I love dessert, you know. 702 00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:44,400 Speaker 5: And then we also need to be able to withstand 703 00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:46,680 Speaker 5: the threats, like the things that are coming after us 704 00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:49,880 Speaker 5: while we're still trying to tap into our gifts and talents. 705 00:30:49,960 --> 00:30:53,120 Speaker 5: You know, in some communities not using your gifts and 706 00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:55,800 Speaker 5: talents as a sin. But for us, it's kind of like, 707 00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:58,520 Speaker 5: you know, you're just going through the motions and hoping. 708 00:30:58,200 --> 00:30:58,960 Speaker 3: For the best. 709 00:30:59,200 --> 00:31:01,320 Speaker 5: So if I say, you know, I say, envy, you 710 00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:02,760 Speaker 5: know zero to ten, you don't have to tell us, 711 00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:04,040 Speaker 5: but you could if you like, you know, on a 712 00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:06,640 Speaker 5: zero to ten, you know, zero mean you have nothing 713 00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:09,280 Speaker 5: in the tank, and ten is you cooking? You know, 714 00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:11,760 Speaker 5: where would you say you are on your capacity to 715 00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:13,040 Speaker 5: be able to do all those things? 716 00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:13,560 Speaker 1: All? 717 00:31:13,680 --> 00:31:13,840 Speaker 6: Right? 718 00:31:13,880 --> 00:31:14,120 Speaker 2: Now? 719 00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:17,680 Speaker 5: Nine you're the nine, and so you're at a great place. 720 00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:20,160 Speaker 5: And so I might say, Okay, you know, Mby's good. 721 00:31:20,160 --> 00:31:21,560 Speaker 5: You know we're gonna keep it moving. But if he 722 00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:25,240 Speaker 5: said like four or lower, then that says to me, 723 00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:28,160 Speaker 5: as someone in his community, that I need to just 724 00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:30,280 Speaker 5: check in and say, hey, you know you're at a four, but. 725 00:31:30,320 --> 00:31:32,240 Speaker 2: That's two day tomorrow. It could be a two. 726 00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:34,520 Speaker 5: Tomorrow, it could be a two, right And if you 727 00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:36,920 Speaker 5: stayed at a two for weeks, then we know it's 728 00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:40,520 Speaker 5: a problem. But we have our two moments cause we're human. 729 00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:43,720 Speaker 5: And then also for me, for myself, if I ask 730 00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:47,000 Speaker 5: myself my own rating, and if it's too low, then 731 00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:48,800 Speaker 5: I know that I probably need to be working on 732 00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:51,520 Speaker 5: a boundary, Like I definitely don't need to be taken 733 00:31:51,560 --> 00:31:53,760 Speaker 5: on anything else. I don't care who it is. I 734 00:31:53,760 --> 00:31:56,240 Speaker 5: don't care what they ask. I cannot take on a 735 00:31:56,280 --> 00:31:58,440 Speaker 5: single thing. If I'm at a six for me personally, 736 00:31:58,480 --> 00:32:00,200 Speaker 5: if I'm at a six or lower, I'm I'm not 737 00:32:00,280 --> 00:32:01,120 Speaker 5: doing anything else. 738 00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:04,480 Speaker 3: I appreciate you. I can't today. Check in with me 739 00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:08,080 Speaker 3: in three to four five months and or I need 740 00:32:08,120 --> 00:32:08,840 Speaker 3: to add. 741 00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:10,840 Speaker 5: Some sources of joy, you know, maybe reach out to 742 00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:12,800 Speaker 5: someone that I haven't talked to in a while, who 743 00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:15,240 Speaker 5: makes me smile, who I know isn't going to judge me. 744 00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:17,760 Speaker 5: And I do have, you know, friends and folks who 745 00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:19,560 Speaker 5: reach out to me and just say like, hey, what's 746 00:32:19,560 --> 00:32:22,280 Speaker 5: your PF. SO PF for psychological fortitude? What's your PF 747 00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:24,560 Speaker 5: right now? And depending on where I am, you know, 748 00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:26,920 Speaker 5: I don't think about it for too long because you know, 749 00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:29,160 Speaker 5: we can think. We want to get the right answer. 750 00:32:29,840 --> 00:32:31,480 Speaker 5: I don't know what they're going to say, like just 751 00:32:31,520 --> 00:32:33,840 Speaker 5: give a number. Like a number is so much more 752 00:32:33,960 --> 00:32:38,800 Speaker 5: neutral than saying I'm good when I'm not, or risking 753 00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:41,360 Speaker 5: saying you know, maybe someone else isn't ready for what 754 00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:42,720 Speaker 5: all I might be going through. 755 00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:44,800 Speaker 3: I begad of a number that tells you a lot. 756 00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:46,680 Speaker 1: Absolutely. 757 00:32:46,760 --> 00:32:48,880 Speaker 4: My last question is you know, you know, I love 758 00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:51,120 Speaker 4: don't apologetic God to Black Pirns's Health. I swear by it. 759 00:32:51,320 --> 00:32:53,000 Speaker 4: I think it's more than a book. It's a call 760 00:32:53,080 --> 00:32:56,240 Speaker 4: to action. So what would progress look like in another 761 00:32:56,360 --> 00:32:59,640 Speaker 4: five years from now if everybody really embrace the call 762 00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:00,560 Speaker 4: to act that's. 763 00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:00,960 Speaker 1: In this book? 764 00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:01,720 Speaker 2: Wow? 765 00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:06,000 Speaker 5: I love that question. So in another five years, we 766 00:33:06,040 --> 00:33:10,800 Speaker 5: would have stronger communities where we're able to ask someone 767 00:33:10,880 --> 00:33:14,080 Speaker 5: what's your PF right now? And if they say something 768 00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:16,920 Speaker 5: that is a four or five, then you say, hey, 769 00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:19,560 Speaker 5: do you have time right now? Let's check in, let's 770 00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:21,720 Speaker 5: let's sit down. Or if they say something like a 771 00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:24,760 Speaker 5: two or three, then someone in the community says, let 772 00:33:24,800 --> 00:33:27,160 Speaker 5: me help you find a professional who can. 773 00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:29,960 Speaker 3: Work with you. That it helps to build. 774 00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:32,680 Speaker 5: Our communities, and that we have folks who are suffering 775 00:33:32,760 --> 00:33:34,320 Speaker 5: less because you know, there are a lot of people 776 00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:38,520 Speaker 5: who are suffering needlessly because they don't know whether or 777 00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:42,200 Speaker 5: not this is mental health related or am I going crazy? 778 00:33:42,680 --> 00:33:46,600 Speaker 5: Like we have legitimate language and understanding about what our 779 00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:50,240 Speaker 5: psychological fortitude is. And I introduce that in part because 780 00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:52,760 Speaker 5: and I think I mentioned this because when we hear 781 00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:55,400 Speaker 5: mental health, we think something else. We need to get 782 00:33:55,440 --> 00:33:58,440 Speaker 5: beyond that like we really need to get beyond this 783 00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:01,440 Speaker 5: person is crazy, this person is having a nervous breakdown, 784 00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:02,720 Speaker 5: Like that doesn't matter. 785 00:34:02,760 --> 00:34:03,920 Speaker 3: We need to be able to function. 786 00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:07,640 Speaker 5: But there are people who for sure have serious challenges 787 00:34:07,880 --> 00:34:10,160 Speaker 5: and are hearing things that aren't there, and they do 788 00:34:10,239 --> 00:34:12,200 Speaker 5: need to be able to connect with someone who's going 789 00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:14,480 Speaker 5: to get them some medication. But I want us to 790 00:34:14,680 --> 00:34:18,200 Speaker 5: normalize these conversations, get folks the help that they need 791 00:34:18,280 --> 00:34:21,520 Speaker 5: so that every everyone can contribute to a better functioning society. 792 00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:24,719 Speaker 2: All right, absolutely well, doctor Rida Walker, we appreciate a 793 00:34:24,960 --> 00:34:27,239 Speaker 2: joining thank you. If you haven't got the book, pick 794 00:34:27,320 --> 00:34:28,960 Speaker 2: up the book now is to fit the anniversary of 795 00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:32,040 Speaker 2: the release of The Unapologetic Guide to Black Mental Health. 796 00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:33,719 Speaker 4: And the work book, the workbook that goes with The 797 00:34:33,760 --> 00:34:36,480 Speaker 4: Unapologetic God to Black Mental Health. I tell everybody it 798 00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:38,239 Speaker 4: is a muster read. It's one of them books that 799 00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:40,600 Speaker 4: you have to have in your household. This is the 800 00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:43,480 Speaker 4: book that we all needed, you know, growing up, Like 801 00:34:43,520 --> 00:34:45,680 Speaker 4: you know, when our parents didn't know how to talk 802 00:34:45,680 --> 00:34:47,200 Speaker 4: to us about it, or adults around us didn't know 803 00:34:47,200 --> 00:34:48,600 Speaker 4: how to talk to us about mental health. 804 00:34:48,680 --> 00:34:50,880 Speaker 1: This book right here laid it down quite flat. 805 00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:52,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, can I can? 806 00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:54,520 Speaker 3: I just add just two brief things. 807 00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:57,080 Speaker 5: One, thank you so much to you, because you know, 808 00:34:57,080 --> 00:34:58,400 Speaker 5: there have been a lot of people who said they 809 00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:00,160 Speaker 5: got the book because of you didn't know any thing 810 00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:03,160 Speaker 5: about it. So I am beyond grateful to you, Leonard 811 00:35:03,239 --> 00:35:05,720 Speaker 5: forgetting the word out about the book. And also, folks 812 00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:08,319 Speaker 5: can follow me. I'm most active on Instagram doctor Rita 813 00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:10,680 Speaker 5: Walker dot com. Maybe I can get five hundred more 814 00:35:10,719 --> 00:35:12,760 Speaker 5: followers to get me to twenty thousand for my birthday. 815 00:35:12,960 --> 00:35:15,240 Speaker 3: Birthday day, It's Saturday. 816 00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:19,560 Speaker 2: On Saturday, go follow doctor Rita Walker. Right do you 817 00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:20,880 Speaker 2: say birthday, doctor Walker? 818 00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:21,800 Speaker 4: You turn up. 819 00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:27,440 Speaker 3: Birthday. 820 00:35:27,640 --> 00:35:28,920 Speaker 1: It's doctor Rita Walker. 821 00:35:28,920 --> 00:35:31,520 Speaker 2: It's the Breakfast Club. Good morning. Wake that ass up 822 00:35:32,040 --> 00:35:32,600 Speaker 2: in the morning. 823 00:35:32,719 --> 00:35:33,760 Speaker 1: The Breakfast Club.