WEBVTT - Mr. Michael Oppenheimer Sells Slap Chop

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<v Speaker 1>Don't answer the phone. Elvis Duran, the Elvis Duran phone tab.

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<v Speaker 2>Scary your phone tap? What's it about?

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<v Speaker 3>So Kristen email does and wanted a phone to have

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<v Speaker 3>her cousin Debbie. So, Debbie's been inundated with all kinds

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<v Speaker 3>of robo calls, scam artists and telemarketers calling her phone recently.

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<v Speaker 3>So I thought I would jump in the ring and

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<v Speaker 3>call as our resident telemarketer, mister Michael oppenheil Oh, Hello.

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<v Speaker 2>Good afternoon. This is mister Michael Oppenheimer with the slap chop.

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<v Speaker 2>How are you doing today? Miss?

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<v Speaker 1>How can I help you?

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<v Speaker 2>The slap chop is a device that you need in

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<v Speaker 2>your kitchen. You can dice.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not really interesting, thank you so much. Hello.

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<v Speaker 2>This is mister Michael Oppenheimer with the device you need

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<v Speaker 2>for your kitchen.

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<v Speaker 1>This I'm really not interested, thank you you.

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<v Speaker 2>Hello, this is mister Michael Oppenheimer.

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<v Speaker 1>What do you want? What do you want for me?

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<v Speaker 1>Can you hear me? Can you hear my?

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<v Speaker 2>Boy? I can hear you?

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<v Speaker 1>And why are you repeating yourself over and over when

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<v Speaker 1>I have told you I'm not interested in your slop

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<v Speaker 1>chop thing? I do not care. I do not want it.

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<v Speaker 1>I have enough gad and you are being very disrespectful

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<v Speaker 1>to call me over and over again.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you know you can do it? You can do

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<v Speaker 2>it with one finger. Miss?

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<v Speaker 1>Are you recording or something?

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<v Speaker 2>Miss? You can even clean up in seconds because it

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<v Speaker 2>pops up in like a butterflyll ma'am talking?

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<v Speaker 1>Stop talking?

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<v Speaker 2>Wait there's more?

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<v Speaker 1>Do you think I have time so this? Do you

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<v Speaker 1>think that my line needs to be caught? Tied up?

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<v Speaker 1>Right now? Listening to your book?

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<v Speaker 2>You can stuff your cheese into this greeter and.

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<v Speaker 1>Life.

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<v Speaker 2>What do you want? This is mister Michael Oppenheimer with

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<v Speaker 2>the s for me?

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<v Speaker 1>Will you stop?

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<v Speaker 2>Is not available in stores.

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<v Speaker 1>To chop? Are you kidding me?

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<v Speaker 2>You could chomp of vegetables and fruits nuts?

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<v Speaker 1>Are you kidding me?

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<v Speaker 3>Right now?

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<v Speaker 2>You could slap chop your nuts.

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<v Speaker 1>I want to chop off your stuff them in your

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<v Speaker 1>mouth and to have your choke on them.

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<v Speaker 2>I just happened to have a slap chop right here

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<v Speaker 2>in my hands.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't care if you have a slap chopper.

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<v Speaker 2>I slide my cucumber gently into the device like seal.

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<v Speaker 1>I am going to take this slap your throat.

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<v Speaker 2>The cucumber chops.

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<v Speaker 1>You're kidding me? Do you think I care?

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<v Speaker 2>Every time I slap my cucumber it becomes finer and finer.

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<v Speaker 2>Are you listening to me now? My cucumber is mush

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<v Speaker 2>listening to me? No, I'm going to take my nuts

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<v Speaker 2>and I'm going to quit with the slap chop.

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<v Speaker 1>Anymore.

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<v Speaker 2>Stop calling me swap nuts.

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<v Speaker 1>You sound like a dump. That's what you sound like.

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<v Speaker 1>You sound like you don't have a spring. You're not human.

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<v Speaker 2>All you need is one finger and it will do

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<v Speaker 2>the job.

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<v Speaker 1>You need to stick your finger down your throat and

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<v Speaker 1>choke yourself. That's what you need to do.

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<v Speaker 2>I think you'd be a much happier person with the

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<v Speaker 2>slap chop in your life.

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<v Speaker 1>What kind of life are you?

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<v Speaker 2>My point in life is to phone tapp point? You've

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<v Speaker 2>been phone tapped?

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<v Speaker 1>What?

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<v Speaker 2>Debbie? What this is?

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<v Speaker 3>Scary Jones from Elvis Durant in the Morning Show. Your

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<v Speaker 3>cousin Kristen is phone tapping.

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<v Speaker 2>No, No, she's not here. She had to go to work.

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<v Speaker 3>But you knew this would make you go crazy because

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<v Speaker 3>you hate telemarketers so much. Elvis Duran's phone tap This

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<v Speaker 3>phone tab was pre recorded with permission granted by all participants,

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<v Speaker 3>the

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<v Speaker 1>Elvis Duran phone tap only on Elvis Duran in the

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<v Speaker 1>morning show