WEBVTT - Can Doesn't Mean Should (BA Q&A)

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<v Speaker 1>It's time for the b a q a A to

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<v Speaker 1>b a q A. What you say to b q

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<v Speaker 1>A with man the b a q eight with tip

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<v Speaker 1>to day the b a q a A.

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<v Speaker 2>Trying so hard, I had too, Hi, how I am listen?

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<v Speaker 1>Let me a q a where we answer your question

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<v Speaker 1>to the best of our ability. But please remember we

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<v Speaker 1>are not your doctor, your attorney, a financial advisor. Just

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<v Speaker 1>too smart, beautiful, talented, amazing, delicious anyway, brown girls who

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<v Speaker 1>know a thing or two about money, career, business, etcetera, etcetera.

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<v Speaker 1>So you take what we say with the largest grain

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<v Speaker 1>of salt, a little peprik if you like. So we

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<v Speaker 1>have our career questions today because we have our career

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<v Speaker 1>our resident career coach, Mandy. Actually I text her this

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<v Speaker 1>week because a friend of I was like, Hey, need

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<v Speaker 1>a career coach for one on one.

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<v Speaker 3>I just love that.

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<v Speaker 1>Mandy was like, she can join Mandy Mendy makers make

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<v Speaker 1>sure she knows that and if it's a fit, maybe

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<v Speaker 1>I could do it. I was like, yes, girl, No,

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<v Speaker 1>if it's a fit, then she can choose.

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<v Speaker 3>It'll be a fit.

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<v Speaker 2>Because I'm a particular flavor. I'm not Tiffany. I'm not

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<v Speaker 2>anyone else. So that's why I'm like, she needs to

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<v Speaker 2>dive into my instance. See if she likes the way

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<v Speaker 2>I talk. Because when you get on a coaching call

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<v Speaker 2>with me, which I only do for Mandy money Makers

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<v Speaker 2>in my in my career academy, when you get on

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<v Speaker 2>a coaching call, I'm just going to be here. You're like, heysis,

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<v Speaker 2>where's your LinkedIn profile? Let me get on there. Ooh

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<v Speaker 2>this picture of what no change it? Like, Oh, that's

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<v Speaker 2>it's my vibe, you know, I love it. Okay, It's

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<v Speaker 2>not for everyone. So she's looking it over, so yeah, hopefully.

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<v Speaker 2>But yeah, if she decides she wants to enroll, and

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<v Speaker 2>I'm an enrollment's not open, then you just send her

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<v Speaker 2>my way and we'll work it out. Okay, Okay, but

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<v Speaker 2>that's a good opportunity to I don't know if i've

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<v Speaker 2>and I had definitely haven't announced it on the podcast yet,

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<v Speaker 2>but I mentioned that this is the year of reaping

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<v Speaker 2>in my business, and I'm working on my book and

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<v Speaker 2>I'm being very I'm trying to be as choosy as

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<v Speaker 2>I can with my work obligations because I, yeah, I

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<v Speaker 2>need to be able to focus on this book and

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<v Speaker 2>get this thing done, plus still be a mom, a daughter,

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<v Speaker 2>a wife, all that kind of good stuff. But because

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<v Speaker 2>of where we're at in the economy, and because I'm

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<v Speaker 2>only doing coaching through my Mandy money Makers, I know

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<v Speaker 2>for some people it doesn't seem like there's a way

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<v Speaker 2>to access me. Now. Of course you have brown Ambition,

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<v Speaker 2>Q and A, so you can send us questions like

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<v Speaker 2>you guys do, which is great, but then you don't

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<v Speaker 2>know when the question will be answered, or if I

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<v Speaker 2>or if right. One of the one of the products

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<v Speaker 2>that I have been selling for the past year is

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<v Speaker 2>called Nail Your Negotiation. It's over twenty scripts to negotiate

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<v Speaker 2>whether you're asking for a raise, whether you're countering a

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<v Speaker 2>job offer, all different types of scenarios, all types of scripts,

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<v Speaker 2>and I normally charge forty seven dollars. I'm making it

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<v Speaker 2>entirely free, so it's all free. I'm giving it away

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<v Speaker 2>and just because I want to, and I just I

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<v Speaker 2>love that you guys can have it. Okay, So Mandymoneyscripts

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<v Speaker 2>dot com is where you can pick up your twenty

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<v Speaker 2>five s worp to twenty five now Nail your Negotiations scripts.

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<v Speaker 2>It's Mandy Money Scripts It's Mandy with an I and

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<v Speaker 2>then scripts s c.

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<v Speaker 3>R I P T s ynyscripts dot com.

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<v Speaker 2>Get your free scripts okay, yes, and let me know

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<v Speaker 2>how they work for you.

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<v Speaker 1>And just so you know, like one of Mandy's tips,

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<v Speaker 1>like gate made me about one point two million dollars?

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<v Speaker 3>Was that last year? It was last year into this year? Yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>so she being all.

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<v Speaker 2>In, which is about that time? Start letting your people know.

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<v Speaker 3>We've been doing it.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, ever since you've told me. I'm just coming up girl.

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<v Speaker 1>All right, so I'm gonna do.

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<v Speaker 3>The first question.

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<v Speaker 1>This is Oh, we're gonna call her tired hamster, longtime listener,

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<v Speaker 1>first time writer.

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<v Speaker 3>I love that. I love you guys, Thanks.

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<v Speaker 1>So much for sharing your wisdom, jokes, and good vibes

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<v Speaker 1>with us every week. Send to you, guys, lots of love,

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<v Speaker 1>love received, Thank you, girl. I am five years into

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<v Speaker 1>a new career. Made a career switch five years ago.

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<v Speaker 1>I reached senior level at my nine to five, but

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<v Speaker 1>I also work a remote job five days a week,

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<v Speaker 1>including seven hours on most weekends. That I'm part of

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<v Speaker 1>myself for managing two jobs for more than two years. However,

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<v Speaker 1>I got the remote job during the pandemic when we

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<v Speaker 1>were all stuck inside and figure, why not use my

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<v Speaker 1>time as well? That remote job is easy, pays decent

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<v Speaker 1>money and comes with great benefits and a pension and

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<v Speaker 1>help me to pay for a wedding and home and

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<v Speaker 1>home down payment expenses and just overall has come in

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<v Speaker 1>handy to cover inflation and interest rates increases on my mortgage.

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<v Speaker 1>Over the last year, both jobs grossed over what one

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<v Speaker 1>hundred thousand dollars and I'm the breadwinner in my household. Girl,

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<v Speaker 1>you know there's underemployed, and there's employees you were overemployed.

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<v Speaker 1>There's not going to have This is incredible two hundred

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<v Speaker 1>thousand dollars year jobs. Plus I can't let go of

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<v Speaker 1>either job right now as I need the income from both.

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<v Speaker 1>I'd also like to get pregnant in the near future

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<v Speaker 1>and understand that I won't be able to sustain both

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<v Speaker 1>jobs with this many structured hours along with being a mom. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>please offer any advice you can, as Sis feels stuck

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<v Speaker 1>and tired. I don't, girl, I'm actually put tired like

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<v Speaker 1>and clothes like. We don't know what t I eedy, girl,

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<v Speaker 1>We're black, we know taed Okay, I'm trying to see

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<v Speaker 1>the path to getting off the hamster wheel, but I'm

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<v Speaker 1>getting discouraged. Appreciate any online big sister advice you guys

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<v Speaker 1>can offer tired hamster a more context. She has three

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<v Speaker 1>months of emergency funded that's funded, and she has eighteen

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<v Speaker 1>thousand invested. Oh hamster, ham ham hammy ham. So maybe

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<v Speaker 1>this sounds like yo, your cup of taytay honey.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I mean, no wonder you're so tired. As I

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<v Speaker 2>was reading it, I was like, so, how long can

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<v Speaker 2>you keep this up for? And it makes sense to

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<v Speaker 2>me that you don't have children, because yeah, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>wayh in hell you could do that if you I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>if you could either like work you know, two jobs,

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<v Speaker 2>or you could like see your kids. So you know,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not judging either way. If you want to not

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<v Speaker 2>see your kids, you can keep the jobs. But it

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<v Speaker 2>sounds like you want to see your kids. Something's got

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<v Speaker 2>to give. I think that's like the clear thing here.

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<v Speaker 2>I can't make either of these jobs suddenly bring in

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<v Speaker 2>the same amount of money, so you can drop one.

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<v Speaker 2>What I'm concerned about is, right now you say you

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<v Speaker 2>can't like go be the job as you need the

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<v Speaker 2>income from both. I want to know why you need

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<v Speaker 2>that income. Part of me is worried that you started

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<v Speaker 2>living like your expenses got to wear. You could only

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<v Speaker 2>afford what you spend based on your income. That's troubling.

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<v Speaker 2>Although I am like really proud of you for using

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<v Speaker 2>that money to pay for your wedding and your home down.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh you said a hometown payment. So now I'm worried.

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<v Speaker 2>Is it that your mortgage is too expensive for what

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<v Speaker 2>you make at one of the jobs versus the other.

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<v Speaker 2>I want to say to you that you have permission

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<v Speaker 2>to get off of the hamster will that you make

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<v Speaker 2>for yourself that has served you for a time, and

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<v Speaker 2>now you got to think it's something different. And I

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<v Speaker 2>think that that for you is going to look like

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<v Speaker 2>either one of these jobs stays and you reduce your

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<v Speaker 2>lifestyle to where you can afford it, or you look

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<v Speaker 2>for ways to get a raise, get more money at

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<v Speaker 2>one of these jobs, or find another job that can

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<v Speaker 2>pay you you know what you want, so that you

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<v Speaker 2>can maintain your lifestyle. That's like, off the top of

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<v Speaker 2>my head, I just I gave the same advice to

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<v Speaker 2>a Mandi moneymaker who had been long term unemployed since

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<v Speaker 2>last December, and she was working.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't want to give away everything.

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<v Speaker 2>But three part time jobs because that's how much she

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<v Speaker 2>wanted to be able to sustain the lifestyle she had

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<v Speaker 2>from when she had a full time job. Okay, and

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<v Speaker 2>she still wanted to be job searching. And I was like,

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<v Speaker 2>so at a certain point, sanity and time parking like

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<v Speaker 2>undervalued versus money for stuff and things, you know. And

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like, if you continue, you know, stressing yourself trying

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<v Speaker 2>to maintain this lifestyle, You're you're gonna end up like

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<v Speaker 2>tired hamster just tie, you know, and like something's going

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<v Speaker 2>to have to give. And it may not lead, like

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<v Speaker 2>it may mean reducing your your expenses or you know,

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<v Speaker 2>scaling back somewhere, which which it won't feel good. But

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<v Speaker 2>when you feel better, when you're getting more sleep, when

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<v Speaker 2>you have free time to do things that you enjoy,

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<v Speaker 2>like not working.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah seven hours on the weekend, here's my concern with

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<v Speaker 1>like this, Like I'm setting aside the financial part right

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<v Speaker 1>that man I talked about my concern of like the

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<v Speaker 1>emotional drain and the physical drain in your body. I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>I'll never know for sure, but you know, I wasn't

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<v Speaker 1>able to have kids. Jurale and I tried, and although

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<v Speaker 1>there is like some hereditary thing where like my my eggs,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, typically your eggs start to decline, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>like I think they say, like at past thirty you're like,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, you drop by fifty percent of your ability

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<v Speaker 1>to get pregnant, thirty five even more.

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<v Speaker 3>But my eggs started to.

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<v Speaker 1>Decline earlier than the average woman. But so I think

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<v Speaker 1>to myself, had I not been so busy, maybe I

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<v Speaker 1>could have tried earlier or too. You know, there was

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<v Speaker 1>just a level of stress and overwork and overwhelmed that

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<v Speaker 1>like even when I did, like before we started IVF,

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<v Speaker 1>I did get pregnant, but didn't know I was filled

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<v Speaker 1>with fibroids because who had time to go the doctor regularly?

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<v Speaker 3>And so I lost the baby.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, as a result of that, there was like

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<v Speaker 1>I knew I was having a miscarriage because I could

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<v Speaker 1>just tell so much pain. I just didn't realize the

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<v Speaker 1>harm that I was doing to my body, not just

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<v Speaker 1>my body, but my mind. And because I was not

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<v Speaker 1>taking care of myself, you know, I didn't know I

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<v Speaker 1>had fibroids when I went to I remember just thinkly

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<v Speaker 1>going to the emergency room, you know, being so scared

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<v Speaker 1>that I'm like, I'm losing a baby, and the doctors

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<v Speaker 1>that the emergency doctor is saying, are you sure you're pregnant?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like, yeah, I took another test. I was like why,

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<v Speaker 1>He's like, I can't see anything but five words and

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<v Speaker 1>I could tell. He was like, how do you not know?

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<v Speaker 1>I had not carved that any time to take care

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<v Speaker 1>of myself. And so I just say all that to

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<v Speaker 1>say that, you know, a lot of my friends who

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<v Speaker 1>are in their like mid to late thirties and early forties,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, are starting to think about family planning now

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<v Speaker 1>because they postponed and some of them won't have any issues,

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<v Speaker 1>some of them will be able to have babies with

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<v Speaker 1>the assistance of medical assistants, and some of them may

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<v Speaker 1>not ever be able to have, you know, children. And

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<v Speaker 1>so if having children this is for anybody listening, not

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<v Speaker 1>just Hamster wheelm If having children is important to you

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<v Speaker 1>and something that you're wanting to do, then you want

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<v Speaker 1>to prioritize that above all else, because there is a

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<v Speaker 1>limit for women. You know, they tell you can have

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<v Speaker 1>it all, you can have it all. Yeah, when it

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<v Speaker 1>comes to having children, there is a biological limit. And

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<v Speaker 1>then to pretend that if you want to physically have

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<v Speaker 1>your own children now, you know, you can always adopt

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<v Speaker 1>the other things, you know, certainly, but if you want

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<v Speaker 1>to physically give birth to your own baby, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>there is a limit about when that can happen, and

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<v Speaker 1>it drops the older you get. So you want to

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<v Speaker 1>consider one either prioritizing having children now, or two, at

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<v Speaker 1>the very least, consider maybe freezing your eggs. Because the

0:11:26.160 --> 0:11:29.000
<v Speaker 1>beautiful thing about eggs is that if you freeze your

0:11:29.040 --> 0:11:32.000
<v Speaker 1>eggs at twenty eight and then you don't get them implanted,

0:11:32.200 --> 0:11:36.280
<v Speaker 1>you know, until you're like, say forty, it's still a

0:11:36.280 --> 0:11:38.360
<v Speaker 1>twenty eight year old egg. So as long as your

0:11:38.360 --> 0:11:40.760
<v Speaker 1>body is fit, the egg has not aged. Does that

0:11:40.800 --> 0:11:43.400
<v Speaker 1>make sense? And I didn't know that, And I wish that,

0:11:43.440 --> 0:11:46.160
<v Speaker 1>like somebody would have tapped me on the shoulder and said, hey, busy, Tiffany.

0:11:46.160 --> 0:11:48.360
<v Speaker 1>At twenty nine or twenty eight, when you still had

0:11:48.360 --> 0:11:51.040
<v Speaker 1>good insurance or whatever, you know, you could freeze your

0:11:51.080 --> 0:11:53.679
<v Speaker 1>eggs now and still have like this really viable like

0:11:53.800 --> 0:11:56.800
<v Speaker 1>series of eggs. And then when you're thirty seven and

0:11:56.920 --> 0:11:59.760
<v Speaker 1>still really fit and healthy, you can have a baby

0:11:59.840 --> 0:12:02.760
<v Speaker 1>with a younger egg because your body is more than capable.

0:12:03.160 --> 0:12:05.120
<v Speaker 1>So just consider that as well, especially since you have

0:12:05.160 --> 0:12:06.480
<v Speaker 1>a few time me you have a pension all that

0:12:06.600 --> 0:12:09.120
<v Speaker 1>usually those types of jobs have health care that might

0:12:09.160 --> 0:12:11.840
<v Speaker 1>cover that. To just consider that that, Like I get it,

0:12:11.880 --> 0:12:14.000
<v Speaker 1>money is so important in this world. We cannot navigate,

0:12:14.040 --> 0:12:16.800
<v Speaker 1>we cannot eat, we can't anything without money. So I

0:12:16.920 --> 0:12:21.480
<v Speaker 1>understand that, but you know, don't want to forget about

0:12:21.559 --> 0:12:24.320
<v Speaker 1>like there has to be life lived, you know, like

0:12:24.559 --> 0:12:26.200
<v Speaker 1>money is made to pay all the bills and things

0:12:26.200 --> 0:12:28.400
<v Speaker 1>like that, but you know, think about what do you

0:12:28.440 --> 0:12:30.920
<v Speaker 1>have to do in order to also live life beyond

0:12:31.559 --> 0:12:32.680
<v Speaker 1>just making a ton of money.

0:12:32.720 --> 0:12:33.720
<v Speaker 3>So just keep that in mind.

0:12:34.480 --> 0:12:36.680
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it just reminds me of how difficult it is

0:12:36.720 --> 0:12:40.920
<v Speaker 2>to see yourselves, to see ourselves as any other version

0:12:40.960 --> 0:12:42.920
<v Speaker 2>than we are right now. If we're young and healthy,

0:12:43.200 --> 0:12:47.199
<v Speaker 2>it's really hard to imagine yourself as tired and physically

0:12:48.280 --> 0:12:51.440
<v Speaker 2>debilitated is that a word? Then, as you'll be when

0:12:51.480 --> 0:12:54.679
<v Speaker 2>you are pregnant and in the months after. And my

0:12:54.840 --> 0:12:57.839
<v Speaker 2>second pregnancy was so much worse than my first in

0:12:57.920 --> 0:13:00.880
<v Speaker 2>terms of the impact to my body, and I was like, oh,

0:13:00.960 --> 0:13:03.760
<v Speaker 2>this is what it feels like to just be like,

0:13:04.200 --> 0:13:07.559
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, I'm just old and paying from all

0:13:07.600 --> 0:13:09.520
<v Speaker 2>different places and like you don't want to do it

0:13:09.559 --> 0:13:12.079
<v Speaker 2>and just anyway, it's hard. And I think that you're

0:13:12.080 --> 0:13:14.320
<v Speaker 2>building a life for yourself, for the version of yourself

0:13:14.360 --> 0:13:16.240
<v Speaker 2>that you are now, Like you have the energy and

0:13:16.280 --> 0:13:18.280
<v Speaker 2>you do this, you do these things, and this is

0:13:18.320 --> 0:13:22.840
<v Speaker 2>sort of the risk of matching your lifestyle expenses to

0:13:23.000 --> 0:13:25.560
<v Speaker 2>the money that you're earning. Because if you have to

0:13:25.640 --> 0:13:28.480
<v Speaker 2>keep like generating more and more income to pay for

0:13:28.520 --> 0:13:31.520
<v Speaker 2>the lifestyle that you're creating, how long can you sustain that?

0:13:32.080 --> 0:13:34.200
<v Speaker 2>And what version of yourself do you have to be

0:13:34.320 --> 0:13:36.400
<v Speaker 2>for that long time to be able to sustain it?

0:13:36.920 --> 0:13:39.840
<v Speaker 2>And I'm not saying I want to believe that we

0:13:39.840 --> 0:13:42.800
<v Speaker 2>can all be Serena Williams in the Australian Open months

0:13:42.800 --> 0:13:45.880
<v Speaker 2>and months pregnant, like yes we can do that. Yes

0:13:45.920 --> 0:13:48.280
<v Speaker 2>we can be on tour with Beyonce seven months pregnant

0:13:48.280 --> 0:13:53.600
<v Speaker 2>with a trombone just like killing it. Absolutely. But those

0:13:53.679 --> 0:13:57.960
<v Speaker 2>are you know, very interest very unique exceptions, right, And

0:13:58.000 --> 0:14:00.560
<v Speaker 2>I doubt and they were only doing that one thing,

0:14:00.679 --> 0:14:03.040
<v Speaker 2>you know what I mean, They weren't also working one

0:14:03.080 --> 0:14:06.000
<v Speaker 2>hundred hours a week. So just just think about that

0:14:06.120 --> 0:14:09.160
<v Speaker 2>and yeah, take some of the pressure off yourself too, because,

0:14:09.200 --> 0:14:11.200
<v Speaker 2>like Tip said, the pressure of being the breadwinner and

0:14:11.280 --> 0:14:14.280
<v Speaker 2>having two jobs. Just because you can doesn't mean you should.

0:14:14.559 --> 0:14:17.320
<v Speaker 1>Yes, ooh that's the word. Ooh, that's a little be

0:14:17.360 --> 0:14:20.320
<v Speaker 1>the name. Hey, PRODUCERMANI I feel like that's a good

0:14:20.360 --> 0:14:22.480
<v Speaker 1>title for this. So just because you can't doesn't mean

0:14:22.520 --> 0:14:25.080
<v Speaker 1>you should. Yeah, or maybe can doesn't mean you should.

0:14:25.560 --> 0:14:26.000
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:14:26.280 --> 0:14:28.600
<v Speaker 2>Time to start saying no for making money just for

0:14:28.640 --> 0:14:30.280
<v Speaker 2>the sake of it, and saying yes to what you

0:14:30.320 --> 0:14:33.160
<v Speaker 2>really want, your value, and but thank yourself for doing

0:14:33.160 --> 0:14:34.360
<v Speaker 2>the grind while you could grind.

0:14:34.720 --> 0:14:37.760
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, you know. Yes, it's then to take a break. Yeah,

0:14:37.800 --> 0:14:38.760
<v Speaker 3>let's take a quick break.

0:14:38.800 --> 0:14:41.520
<v Speaker 2>Thank you, tired hampstare be right back with another question,

0:14:41.600 --> 0:14:49.800
<v Speaker 2>another heavy one. Yeah, all right, so we're back with

0:14:49.840 --> 0:14:53.480
<v Speaker 2>our next question. This is from listener. We'll call her Crossroads,

0:14:54.680 --> 0:14:57.640
<v Speaker 2>bone Dogsn't Harmony, cross Roads. See you at the cross

0:14:58.920 --> 0:15:00.800
<v Speaker 2>That video used to scare the crap out of me.

0:15:00.800 --> 0:15:04.320
<v Speaker 3>You couldn't tell me that those black eyes like I'm

0:15:04.320 --> 0:15:05.400
<v Speaker 3>going to miss the body.

0:15:06.360 --> 0:15:09.800
<v Speaker 2>Yes, I won't just be petrified but glued to VH

0:15:09.840 --> 0:15:13.440
<v Speaker 2>one watching them Anyway, another heavy question. I kind of

0:15:13.480 --> 0:15:15.120
<v Speaker 2>feel like this is the time that we're in now

0:15:15.240 --> 0:15:18.200
<v Speaker 2>is a lot of people dealing with the economy and

0:15:18.280 --> 0:15:21.560
<v Speaker 2>also just the past three years of grinding and grinding

0:15:21.560 --> 0:15:24.840
<v Speaker 2>and grinding in the week of the pandemic. But let's

0:15:24.840 --> 0:15:27.480
<v Speaker 2>get into it. Crossroads says, I'm a faithful listener of

0:15:27.520 --> 0:15:30.080
<v Speaker 2>Brown Ambition. I love the advice you provide weekly. Here's

0:15:30.080 --> 0:15:32.920
<v Speaker 2>my situation. I've been on the job search since January

0:15:32.920 --> 0:15:35.160
<v Speaker 2>of twenty two, when I left my full time jobs

0:15:35.200 --> 0:15:37.640
<v Speaker 2>because when I left my full time job because I

0:15:37.720 --> 0:15:41.640
<v Speaker 2>was experiencing racism from my supervisor and colleagues, and I

0:15:41.720 --> 0:15:45.480
<v Speaker 2>left feeling unsafe in my work environment. I have over

0:15:45.560 --> 0:15:48.520
<v Speaker 2>a decade of full time work experience in my field

0:15:48.840 --> 0:15:51.640
<v Speaker 2>at the time, and currently I have been a full

0:15:51.680 --> 0:15:54.880
<v Speaker 2>time PhD student, which allowed me to be a graduate

0:15:54.960 --> 0:15:58.920
<v Speaker 2>assistant to make ends meet. Now I've been applying and interviewing,

0:15:58.960 --> 0:16:01.880
<v Speaker 2>sometimes for four and five rounds for a job, but

0:16:02.040 --> 0:16:05.200
<v Speaker 2>no job offer, or I would get through the interview

0:16:05.200 --> 0:16:07.880
<v Speaker 2>and get a low ball offer, which I know if

0:16:08.320 --> 0:16:10.600
<v Speaker 2>I took it, it would set me back in my career.

0:16:11.160 --> 0:16:13.240
<v Speaker 2>I'm near the end of my PhD program and I

0:16:13.280 --> 0:16:16.760
<v Speaker 2>need to secure position. At this point, I'm considering switching

0:16:16.800 --> 0:16:19.480
<v Speaker 2>industries because it shouldn't be this difficult to secure a

0:16:19.560 --> 0:16:22.640
<v Speaker 2>role in my field when there are always openings. My

0:16:22.720 --> 0:16:25.680
<v Speaker 2>PhD field is broad and would allow me the flexibility

0:16:25.720 --> 0:16:28.480
<v Speaker 2>to work in many industries. I've been trying my best

0:16:28.520 --> 0:16:31.400
<v Speaker 2>to stay upbeat and optimistic, but this situation has taken

0:16:31.400 --> 0:16:35.080
<v Speaker 2>a toll on me. My question is should I continue

0:16:35.080 --> 0:16:37.680
<v Speaker 2>to apply for roles in my current field or make

0:16:37.720 --> 0:16:41.040
<v Speaker 2>a career switch and rebuild for context. I am in

0:16:41.120 --> 0:16:44.560
<v Speaker 2>my mid thirties, no kids, no spouse. Thank you in advancing,

0:16:45.000 --> 0:16:46.480
<v Speaker 2>congratulations on your new bundle.

0:16:46.720 --> 0:16:47.480
<v Speaker 3>Oh thank you.

0:16:48.680 --> 0:16:55.440
<v Speaker 1>This is tough. Well, I would say that, Yeah, I

0:16:55.440 --> 0:16:57.640
<v Speaker 1>mean knocking on a door that's always closed, you know,

0:16:58.080 --> 0:17:00.640
<v Speaker 1>I think, I mean it's one it's obviously gonna take.

0:17:00.640 --> 0:17:02.440
<v Speaker 1>I'm loving that you're trying to stay optimistic, but it's

0:17:02.440 --> 0:17:04.399
<v Speaker 1>gonna take a toll. How would that not take a toll?

0:17:04.960 --> 0:17:09.080
<v Speaker 1>And you switching industries? At first I thought you were

0:17:09.119 --> 0:17:11.520
<v Speaker 1>like almost like you were gonna ditch the PhD program

0:17:11.560 --> 0:17:13.320
<v Speaker 1>and just switch up. But that doesn't sound like that.

0:17:13.600 --> 0:17:16.200
<v Speaker 1>It sounds like you're like, no, no, that with my PhD,

0:17:17.000 --> 0:17:19.840
<v Speaker 1>that it could cover a wide range of industries awesome,

0:17:20.760 --> 0:17:23.359
<v Speaker 1>and that you know it would it would mean and

0:17:23.560 --> 0:17:25.879
<v Speaker 1>you're thinking, like you're gonna be starting from scratch, and

0:17:25.960 --> 0:17:30.159
<v Speaker 1>certainly you'll be starting, you know, maybe a different industry,

0:17:30.200 --> 0:17:33.320
<v Speaker 1>but not super from scratch, because you have a PhD

0:17:33.600 --> 0:17:38.160
<v Speaker 1>and you still have experiences that transfer over And so, honestly, I,

0:17:38.320 --> 0:17:41.680
<v Speaker 1>for my own sake, insanity, I probably would start to explore,

0:17:42.240 --> 0:17:45.800
<v Speaker 1>like what other ways can I use my PhD in

0:17:45.840 --> 0:17:49.160
<v Speaker 1>industries that I'm interested in exploring? Because maybe that's a sign,

0:17:49.280 --> 0:17:51.680
<v Speaker 1>you know that it's like, I mean, I don't know

0:17:51.840 --> 0:17:55.160
<v Speaker 1>if the current industry that you're in that racism, because

0:17:55.160 --> 0:17:58.480
<v Speaker 1>there are some industries it's baked in, you know, and

0:17:58.520 --> 0:18:01.600
<v Speaker 1>maybe that's like this kind of like divine sign that's like, sis,

0:18:01.600 --> 0:18:02.480
<v Speaker 1>you don't want to be over here.

0:18:03.040 --> 0:18:04.640
<v Speaker 3>You know that.

0:18:04.200 --> 0:18:07.160
<v Speaker 1>That racism is baked into this particular way of navigating

0:18:07.200 --> 0:18:09.840
<v Speaker 1>and that you know you can use your PhD in

0:18:09.840 --> 0:18:12.880
<v Speaker 1>these six other ways choose your adventure. So maybe that's

0:18:12.880 --> 0:18:16.040
<v Speaker 1>a sign. And you're young, honestly, and I know sometimes

0:18:16.080 --> 0:18:19.879
<v Speaker 1>we think to ourselves like I'm not young anymore, thirty something.

0:18:19.880 --> 0:18:22.120
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, girl, you got three in front of your

0:18:22.160 --> 0:18:25.320
<v Speaker 1>in your number. You are, you know, in the relative

0:18:25.320 --> 0:18:27.919
<v Speaker 1>scope of things. You are, and you're able to switch,

0:18:28.040 --> 0:18:31.080
<v Speaker 1>you know, and your decision is not going to affect

0:18:31.119 --> 0:18:32.720
<v Speaker 1>whether or not a kid is going to eat or not.

0:18:33.320 --> 0:18:35.160
<v Speaker 1>Your spouse will be able to I know it's harder

0:18:35.160 --> 0:18:37.879
<v Speaker 1>because you don't have a partner to potentially help with

0:18:38.080 --> 0:18:42.359
<v Speaker 1>bills being paid, but to continue to get knocked back down.

0:18:42.480 --> 0:18:45.400
<v Speaker 1>I just think that what I don't Oh, my god,

0:18:46.920 --> 0:18:50.000
<v Speaker 1>on them. No, no, this is my sister. Oh sorry,

0:18:50.000 --> 0:18:52.679
<v Speaker 1>I don't know how to turn you know, like my

0:18:52.800 --> 0:18:54.000
<v Speaker 1>computer always rings.

0:18:54.040 --> 0:18:54.920
<v Speaker 3>I'm like, I looked at.

0:18:55.040 --> 0:18:57.359
<v Speaker 2>H just say does you do you have Siri turned on?

0:18:57.880 --> 0:18:58.080
<v Speaker 3>Yes?

0:18:58.200 --> 0:19:00.639
<v Speaker 2>Or do you have a little Siri button do Siri?

0:19:01.080 --> 0:19:01.280
<v Speaker 3>Say?

0:19:01.280 --> 0:19:03.280
<v Speaker 2>Hey, Siri, put on do not disturb.

0:19:04.640 --> 0:19:06.120
<v Speaker 3>Please put on do not disturb.

0:19:07.640 --> 0:19:09.639
<v Speaker 2>Okay, do not disturb is now on?

0:19:10.600 --> 0:19:11.680
<v Speaker 3>Thanks Siri.

0:19:14.560 --> 0:19:16.439
<v Speaker 2>And then also, I'm gonna on your computer do the

0:19:16.480 --> 0:19:18.440
<v Speaker 2>same thing because on your top left, if you see

0:19:18.480 --> 0:19:19.440
<v Speaker 2>like a little Sirie.

0:19:19.359 --> 0:19:20.000
<v Speaker 3>Icon, click it.

0:19:21.080 --> 0:19:21.680
<v Speaker 1>Do I see it?

0:19:21.920 --> 0:19:22.040
<v Speaker 2>Oh?

0:19:22.160 --> 0:19:22.359
<v Speaker 3>I do.

0:19:22.760 --> 0:19:23.760
<v Speaker 2>It's like the little.

0:19:24.800 --> 0:19:30.800
<v Speaker 3>Place on do not disturb. Oh my god, no, don't

0:19:30.800 --> 0:19:31.440
<v Speaker 3>play a song.

0:19:31.760 --> 0:19:35.560
<v Speaker 2>My Jesus, I thought you said play play not place

0:19:36.560 --> 0:19:40.920
<v Speaker 2>turn on do not disturb It's like song not play.

0:19:41.040 --> 0:19:42.920
<v Speaker 1>You need to keep this anybody, let the people get

0:19:42.920 --> 0:19:46.359
<v Speaker 1>how we struggle. Oh well, we'll always wrap it up,

0:19:46.359 --> 0:19:47.240
<v Speaker 1>but I'm gonna do that later.

0:19:47.840 --> 0:19:50.080
<v Speaker 2>I'm just trying to make sure you never ever leave

0:19:50.200 --> 0:19:52.160
<v Speaker 2>the iPhone and just stay an iPhone user.

0:19:52.240 --> 0:19:56.760
<v Speaker 3>So in any way, I can no But like, what

0:19:56.800 --> 0:19:58.000
<v Speaker 3>are we saying?

0:19:59.200 --> 0:20:01.160
<v Speaker 1>Oh, yeah, it's a it was just about to pick

0:20:01.240 --> 0:20:04.560
<v Speaker 1>up yeah, pa oh.

0:20:05.119 --> 0:20:08.240
<v Speaker 2>I think the hardest thing is you're Yes, you have been.

0:20:08.400 --> 0:20:10.600
<v Speaker 2>So you've been job searching since January twenty twenty two.

0:20:10.600 --> 0:20:12.800
<v Speaker 2>You've also been a PhD program, and I think you're

0:20:12.840 --> 0:20:15.240
<v Speaker 2>heading into this and it's a tough job market. I

0:20:15.240 --> 0:20:16.879
<v Speaker 2>don't I wish I knew what industry you were in

0:20:16.960 --> 0:20:19.879
<v Speaker 2>so I can give like real nuanced or more specific advice,

0:20:19.960 --> 0:20:24.000
<v Speaker 2>but just in general, job interview fatigue will hit the

0:20:24.000 --> 0:20:27.640
<v Speaker 2>best of us, especially if it's not leading to any offers.

0:20:27.680 --> 0:20:30.800
<v Speaker 2>So I'm down for a pivot. I'm always down. I'm

0:20:30.800 --> 0:20:33.280
<v Speaker 2>down for being and even like calling it a pivot,

0:20:33.520 --> 0:20:36.440
<v Speaker 2>which I don't mind the word pivot. But I also

0:20:36.520 --> 0:20:38.760
<v Speaker 2>I just don't want people to feel like it has

0:20:38.840 --> 0:20:41.320
<v Speaker 2>to be some big tough decision like should.

0:20:41.119 --> 0:20:45.000
<v Speaker 3>I pivot, pivott.

0:20:44.320 --> 0:20:47.760
<v Speaker 2>You know, like the drama. Just try maybe something different,

0:20:47.800 --> 0:20:50.560
<v Speaker 2>try a different direction, and see if you get better

0:20:50.600 --> 0:20:53.600
<v Speaker 2>results from that. You know. I feel like the skills

0:20:53.600 --> 0:20:55.440
<v Speaker 2>that you've developed for the past decade, like you said,

0:20:55.480 --> 0:20:58.639
<v Speaker 2>you can apply them to probably many other types of

0:20:58.720 --> 0:21:00.720
<v Speaker 2>jobs or industries. So I think if you could be

0:21:00.760 --> 0:21:03.600
<v Speaker 2>a little creative, that would be awesome. Maybe it's take

0:21:03.640 --> 0:21:06.720
<v Speaker 2>your skills and try a different industry, take your PhD

0:21:06.920 --> 0:21:08.800
<v Speaker 2>and apply that to the industry you were in, but

0:21:08.840 --> 0:21:11.399
<v Speaker 2>come at it from a different, you know, job level.

0:21:12.040 --> 0:21:14.240
<v Speaker 2>I'm just trying to show you that there's there's overlap,

0:21:14.320 --> 0:21:17.320
<v Speaker 2>you know, and there may be opportunities that are not

0:21:17.400 --> 0:21:19.840
<v Speaker 2>exactly what you were doing before, but that could be

0:21:19.880 --> 0:21:21.560
<v Speaker 2>a great fit if you just think a little bit

0:21:21.600 --> 0:21:25.040
<v Speaker 2>more creatively about the skills that you have, the education

0:21:25.119 --> 0:21:27.520
<v Speaker 2>that you've acquired through your PhD program, and how those

0:21:27.560 --> 0:21:31.480
<v Speaker 2>can come together to provide value for a company. And

0:21:31.560 --> 0:21:34.119
<v Speaker 2>also if you've i know, you've been interviewing for you know,

0:21:34.160 --> 0:21:37.639
<v Speaker 2>a year or so almost you know, year and a half.

0:21:38.040 --> 0:21:41.200
<v Speaker 2>At the same time, don't worry so much about job titles.

0:21:41.200 --> 0:21:44.200
<v Speaker 2>Sometimes I like to encourage people to search for jobs

0:21:44.320 --> 0:21:47.800
<v Speaker 2>blind from the job title, because it can mean different things,

0:21:47.840 --> 0:21:49.639
<v Speaker 2>and the pay may not even be that great, but

0:21:49.680 --> 0:21:52.040
<v Speaker 2>you may get caught up and looking for a certain title.

0:21:53.000 --> 0:21:54.520
<v Speaker 2>And at this point a year and a half in

0:21:54.520 --> 0:21:56.679
<v Speaker 2>some industries, a lot can change, Trends can go in

0:21:56.720 --> 0:21:59.320
<v Speaker 2>and out of style. So look for job descriptions and

0:21:59.440 --> 0:22:03.000
<v Speaker 2>job skills that work for you and do what you

0:22:03.040 --> 0:22:05.679
<v Speaker 2>can to beef up that network. I always I feel like,

0:22:05.720 --> 0:22:07.879
<v Speaker 2>if you're someone who's getting interviews but you're not getting

0:22:07.880 --> 0:22:11.280
<v Speaker 2>to the final round, I want to start asking you

0:22:11.320 --> 0:22:13.480
<v Speaker 2>know what has if there's been any feedback, Is it

0:22:13.520 --> 0:22:16.960
<v Speaker 2>that they're just doing internal candidates? Is it that there

0:22:17.040 --> 0:22:19.399
<v Speaker 2>was someone else who just had a little bit more this,

0:22:19.440 --> 0:22:22.280
<v Speaker 2>that and the third? And it may not just be

0:22:22.359 --> 0:22:25.240
<v Speaker 2>because you lack something, but it could be because someone

0:22:25.280 --> 0:22:29.479
<v Speaker 2>had a connection, or they knew someone or had a referral. Well,

0:22:29.520 --> 0:22:32.960
<v Speaker 2>how can you get yourself some personal endorsements, some referral,

0:22:33.040 --> 0:22:35.679
<v Speaker 2>some connections, and how can we, you know, start building

0:22:35.720 --> 0:22:37.600
<v Speaker 2>up that network so that you can go in even

0:22:37.640 --> 0:22:41.720
<v Speaker 2>stronger to the next job interview. That's what I'll say,

0:22:41.720 --> 0:22:44.520
<v Speaker 2>And I'll also just say try and take a break

0:22:44.760 --> 0:22:48.200
<v Speaker 2>and try and give yourself some grace because what you're

0:22:48.240 --> 0:22:52.000
<v Speaker 2>describing is really frustrating. It's okay to be really tired

0:22:52.119 --> 0:22:56.560
<v Speaker 2>and really frustrated, but you can be tired and frustrated

0:22:56.560 --> 0:22:57.919
<v Speaker 2>and to give yourself a break, but then you got

0:22:57.960 --> 0:23:00.119
<v Speaker 2>to get back at it. Because what's the alternative of

0:23:00.359 --> 0:23:02.280
<v Speaker 2>your life is you have You're only in your thirties.

0:23:02.760 --> 0:23:04.760
<v Speaker 2>There's no way this is the period on the paragraph

0:23:04.800 --> 0:23:07.280
<v Speaker 2>of your life, my friend, Like, there's no way there's

0:23:07.320 --> 0:23:10.720
<v Speaker 2>stuff that's coming after this. You know you're gonna get there.

0:23:11.760 --> 0:23:15.480
<v Speaker 2>I like to sometimes imagine myself like one two five

0:23:15.560 --> 0:23:18.440
<v Speaker 2>years in the future, thinking, oh, that's not a problem

0:23:18.480 --> 0:23:21.000
<v Speaker 2>for her anymore. She's a way past that. So kind

0:23:21.000 --> 0:23:24.480
<v Speaker 2>of just whatever you can do for your mindset to

0:23:24.480 --> 0:23:29.280
<v Speaker 2>to help yourself see past the struggle and the challenge

0:23:29.320 --> 0:23:34.320
<v Speaker 2>that'll help you get you know, get through it. Yeah,

0:23:34.400 --> 0:23:37.280
<v Speaker 2>all right to two questions from b A listeners. You

0:23:37.359 --> 0:23:40.119
<v Speaker 2>just need to be scooped up and held yeah in

0:23:40.160 --> 0:23:42.320
<v Speaker 2>our BA embrace RBS.

0:23:45.600 --> 0:23:48.840
<v Speaker 1>Yes if you have questions though, if you want to

0:23:48.840 --> 0:23:51.280
<v Speaker 1>be held at the DIA BOSM, go ahead on over

0:23:51.320 --> 0:23:56.240
<v Speaker 1>to Barnabision podcast dot com and click contact us Barnavision

0:23:56.280 --> 0:24:00.760
<v Speaker 1>Podcast on IG Slide into the DMS and the Brianna

0:24:00.800 --> 0:24:03.320
<v Speaker 1>Bishon Podcast at gmail dot com.

0:24:03.560 --> 0:24:05.000
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, we're here for you girls, all.

0:24:06.920 --> 0:24:07.000
<v Speaker 2>Right.

0:24:07.080 --> 0:24:09.000
<v Speaker 3>Until next week, y'all.

0:24:09.000 --> 0:24:12.080
<v Speaker 2>Bye, y'all bye,