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Speaker 1: It is time now for the Strawberry Letter. And before

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Speaker 1: we get to that, I want to let you guys

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Speaker 1: know that candles, candles, candles are here. I'm talking about

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Speaker 1: my Love Collection Candles. They are out and available now

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Speaker 1: at Love Shirley Strawberry dot com. Love Shirley Strawberry dot com.

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Speaker 1: Thanks to everyone who's already gone and purchase your candles.

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Speaker 1: Hope you love them as much as I do. From

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Speaker 1: my heart to yours, Love Shirley Strawberry dot com. Nice,

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Speaker 1: Thank you guys. All right, it's time for the Strawberry Letter,

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Speaker 1: and if you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting,

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Speaker 1: and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM

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Speaker 1: dot com. All you have to do is click submit

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Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter and we could be reading your letter live

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Speaker 1: on the air, just like we're gonna read this one

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Speaker 1: right here, right now, right now. Buckle up and hold

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Speaker 1: on tight. We got it for you here. It is

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Speaker 1: the Strawberry Letter. Thank you. Nephew's subject married to a moocher,

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Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm a thirty eight year old married

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Speaker 1: woman and my husband is thirty four. We've been married

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Speaker 1: for four years. And we're getting our first house built,

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Speaker 1: so I've had to put my husband on a budget

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Speaker 1: to make sure we can afford to furnish our new house.

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Speaker 1: He is the one that is always shopping and buying

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Speaker 1: gadgets for the house. We are sharing one credit card,

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Speaker 1: and I give him an allowance weekly at his request.

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Speaker 1: His money is usually gone within two days because he's forgotten.

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Speaker 1: He's a baller on a budget and will splurge on

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Speaker 1: a steak for lunch a couple of days a week.

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Speaker 1: I blame it on his parents, who still enable him

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Speaker 1: and coddle him. He's definitely not a mama's boy, but

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Speaker 1: his mama can't stand to hear him complain about money.

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Speaker 1: They're retired and have plenty of money saved up, so

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Speaker 1: they give it to him if he asks. It's gotten

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Speaker 1: so bad that his mother called me and said she

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Speaker 1: needs my help because her son said he's on a

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Speaker 1: budget and can't afford to eat lunch during the week.

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Speaker 1: I reminded her that her son is bougie and I

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Speaker 1: can't eat leftovers for lunch, so it's his fault if

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Speaker 1: he can't afford his overpriced lunches. That's when she opened

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Speaker 1: up about how much money they've given my husband in

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Speaker 1: the past month. She called her own son a moocher,

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Speaker 1: and she blamed herself since she spoiled him all of

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Speaker 1: his life. She said that I have a problem on

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Speaker 1: my hands if he doesn't stop spending. She told me

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Speaker 1: to check his closet because he's been buying new shirts

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Speaker 1: and leaving out with his t shirt on, then putting

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Speaker 1: the new shirt on before he walks into his office.

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Speaker 1: My mother in law wants me to talk to my

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Speaker 1: husband and tell him to stop mooching off them. I

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Speaker 1: think it's their job to finish raising their son. Should

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Speaker 1: I get into the middle of their problem, I'll agree

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Speaker 1: with you this is his parents problem, but this is

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Speaker 1: also you and your husband's problem. This is a whole

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Speaker 1: family issue right here. Your husband wants what he wants

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Speaker 1: and he doesn't care where he gets it if he

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Speaker 1: can't get it from you. If he spends all the

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Speaker 1: money you give him, then he'll go to his mom

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Speaker 1: and she'll give it to him. So he is a

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Speaker 1: mama's boy in that sense. I think he's immature, and

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Speaker 1: I think his mom, you know, keeps giving him money

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Speaker 1: because she obviously can't say no to him, even now

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Speaker 1: that he's a grown man with the family of his own.

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Speaker 1: She wants you to talk to him and be the

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Speaker 1: bad guy, so to speak. And that's a problem. But

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Speaker 1: you all need to talk, all of you. Maybe when

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Speaker 1: he sees that you guys are all in one accord

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Speaker 1: about saving and sacrificing for the new house, he'll get it.

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Speaker 1: Maybe not, but you gotta do something. You got to

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Speaker 1: put some sort of system in place where a certain

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Speaker 1: amount of money goes into the house account. You know,

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Speaker 1: try that. I think that's a good place to start.

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Speaker 1: His parents have to be on board with this in

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Speaker 1: order for this to work. Though I do know it

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Speaker 1: can be done because people do it every day. It's

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Speaker 1: hard for him because he's never had to do anything

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Speaker 1: like this before. He's been spoiled. His mom told you that,

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Speaker 1: and you probably knew it before you married him, and

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Speaker 1: it's all part of growing up and being responsible. He

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Speaker 1: is a grown man. But his parents need to put

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Speaker 1: a stop to him running to them every time he

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Speaker 1: needs money. If they want to give him money, leave

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Speaker 1: it for him in the will. Okay, that's what I say.

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Speaker 1: From now on, they're not teaching him anything if they

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Speaker 1: keep spoiling him this way, Steve, this letter, it's utterly ridiculous,

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Speaker 1: And I'll tell you why. You're not married to a moocher.

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Speaker 1: That's not the problem. Now, I don't need This is

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Speaker 1: the wrong title for this letter. You're married to what's

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Speaker 1: supposed to be a man who doesn't act like a

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Speaker 1: man who hasn't grown up and who hasn't been required

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Speaker 1: to grow up. That's not a moocher. That's something totally different.

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Speaker 1: We dealer here. This is really ridiculous. You're thirty eight

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Speaker 1: and your husband is thirty four. You already was in

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Speaker 1: trouble with him. Not only is he younger than you,

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Speaker 1: but he acts like it. That's scary. But he don't

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Speaker 1: even act thirty four. See if this letter was from

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Speaker 1: a sixteen year old or eighteen year old or twenty

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Speaker 1: year old, I could be a little bit more tolerant.

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Speaker 1: This guy is thirty four years old. So here's a deal.

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Speaker 1: We've been married four years. We're getting our first house,

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Speaker 1: so I've had to put my husband on the budget. Okay,

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Speaker 1: that's a little bit of a problem to make sure

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Speaker 1: we can afford to furnish our house. You couldn't just

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Speaker 1: tell him that he don't understand that he is the

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Speaker 1: one that's always shopping and buying gadgets for the house.

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Speaker 1: We're sharing one credit card. I give him allowance weekly.

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Speaker 1: That's another problem. That's what you do for teenagers. At

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Speaker 1: his request. His money is usually gone within two days. Wow, dude, suck.

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Speaker 1: That's wrong because he's forgotten he's a baller on a budget. No,

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Speaker 1: he's not a baller on a budget. He's not a baller. See,

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Speaker 1: he's just on a budget because what you described to

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Speaker 1: me next just threw me off. And he will splurge

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Speaker 1: on a steak for lunch a couple of days a week.

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Speaker 1: I'll be damn two steaks through your ass, complete out

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Speaker 1: of way, two damn pieces of meat. You got the

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Speaker 1: chicken in your asses, out in steak. Hold that thought, Steve.

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Speaker 1: We'll have part two of your response coming up at

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Speaker 1: twenty three minutes after be our today's strawberry letter subject

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Speaker 1: married to a moocher. We'll get back into it right

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Speaker 1: after this. You're listening to Harvey Morning Show. All right,

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Speaker 1: Come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter. Finish up

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Speaker 1: your response the subject married to a mature You don't

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Speaker 1: like that title. I don't like the title because this

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Speaker 1: is a thirty four year old dude that can't stay

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Speaker 1: on budget and does a lot of other things too.

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Speaker 1: We haven't gotten into it, but here we go. She

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Speaker 1: had to put this dude on the budget because they're

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Speaker 1: trying to buy a house and they want to be

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Speaker 1: able for furnitures. He's the one that's always shopping, buying

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Speaker 1: gadgets for the house. We share a credit card. I

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Speaker 1: give him a weekly allowance. This is what you have

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Speaker 1: to do for a thirty four year old. Like I

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Speaker 1: said at the top of this letter, this letter was

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Speaker 1: about a sixteen year old, eighteen year old, a twenty

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Speaker 1: year old. I'd be a lot bit or tolerant. He's

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Speaker 1: thirty four. He's thirty four. What are we talking about him?

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Speaker 1: All right? And because he's forgotten and then the money

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Speaker 1: is usually gone that she gives him in two days

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Speaker 1: because he's forgotten, he's a ball on the budget. No,

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Speaker 1: he's just on a budget. He was splurge on a

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Speaker 1: steak for lunch a couple of days a week. So

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Speaker 1: if you're in the restaurant, they got chicken fishing steak,

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Speaker 1: and your decision to go with the stake twice throws

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Speaker 1: your whole budget out of whack. He's not making smart

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Speaker 1: decisions somewhere else and this guy is just not But

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Speaker 1: then you explain it in the letter. I blame it

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Speaker 1: on his parents, who will enable him and coddle him.

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Speaker 1: He's definitely not a mama's boy. But his mama can't

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Speaker 1: stand to hear him complain about money. They've retired, they

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Speaker 1: got plenty of money saved up, so they give it

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Speaker 1: to him if he asked. It's gotten so bad that

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Speaker 1: his mother called me and says she needs my help

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Speaker 1: because her son says he's on the budget and can't

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Speaker 1: afford to eat lunch during the week. So you go

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Speaker 1: to your mama for that. And then you said he's

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Speaker 1: not a mama's boy. Excuse me, excuse me. Well, what

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Speaker 1: do you think of mama's boy? Is you put him

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Speaker 1: on the budget? He mad, he goes a mama took

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Speaker 1: me out. He get on a budget, he can't even

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Speaker 1: have lunch, and then she give him the money. That's

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Speaker 1: a mama's boy. See, you're thinking of mama's boy if

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Speaker 1: he got to be up under all the time. Now,

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Speaker 1: mama's boy if he's totally dependent on his mother instead

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Speaker 1: of the other way around. When you grow up, you're

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Speaker 1: supposed to take better care of your parents the older

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Speaker 1: you get. They shouldn't still be taking care of you

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Speaker 1: the older you get. That's a mama's boy. I reminded

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Speaker 1: her that her son is boogie and can't eat leftovers

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Speaker 1: for lunch, so it's his fault if he can't afford

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Speaker 1: his overpriced lunches. That's when she opened up about how

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Speaker 1: much money they give him. My husband in the past month.

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Speaker 1: She called her own son a mucha and she blamed

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Speaker 1: herself since she spoiled him all his life. She said

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Speaker 1: that I have a problem on my hands if he

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Speaker 1: don't stop spitting it. She told me to check his

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Speaker 1: closet because he's been buying new shirts and leaving out

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Speaker 1: with the T shirt on, then putting a new shirt

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Speaker 1: on before he walks into the office. I hear women

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Speaker 1: say that all the time, because when a man won't

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Speaker 1: give him money, the I'll see women doing they really

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Speaker 1: see a man. A matter of fact, I don't know

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Speaker 1: any man of that, dude, which lets me know you

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Speaker 1: have a boy, because I don't know any man who

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Speaker 1: do this. And you know I don't know any man

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Speaker 1: who do this, because at this age I don't hang

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Speaker 1: out with nobody but men. You gotta on your hand,

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Speaker 1: grown ass man that's taking care of families, were sacrificing

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Speaker 1: so our families can't have a life. Man, get out

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Speaker 1: of here. What are y'all tum on and putting up?

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Speaker 1: My mother in law wants me to talk to my

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Speaker 1: husband and tell him to stop mooching off of them.

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Speaker 1: I think it's their job to finish raising their sons.

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Speaker 1: Should I get into the middle of day problem? What

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Speaker 1: do you been in the middle of day problem? This

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Speaker 1: is your problem? This is your problem? Ain't they problem?

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Speaker 1: You ain't in the middle of day problem? You got

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Speaker 1: your own problem. What is the daddy doing? You said, parents?

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Speaker 1: Where where is his ass? Or is he in the

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Speaker 1: same position the boy? And maybe the boy is emmulating

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Speaker 1: his father. That's why the father ain't stepped in and

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Speaker 1: said nothing. He got this, He got this behavior from somewhere.

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Speaker 1: So the boy's mama been been baby in the daddy too.

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Speaker 1: Maybe the daddy saw I promise you I couldn't go

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Speaker 1: over Slick Harvey's house ask for a damn thing. Ye boy, boy,

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Speaker 1: you coming over here to eat lunch. What what? What

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Speaker 1: ain't you working? Yeah, daddy, where your money? I spend

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Speaker 1: it on two states? Well, yeah, you ain't gonna be

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Speaker 1: the steak no more here. I'm just telling you how

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Speaker 1: smooth it come stake when you go the off, didn't

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Speaker 1: started making some same which you're taking the work. You

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Speaker 1: can't come over here, boy, But man, your mama retired.

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Speaker 1: We even to come over here. You what, this doesn't

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Speaker 1: make any sense what you're saying. He's thirty four. You

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Speaker 1: and them enabled him. He acts like a child. You

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Speaker 1: all treating him like a child. Now, let me ask

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Speaker 1: you something in this whole letter between you, the writer

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Speaker 1: of the letter, your mama ended daddy as anybody thought

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Speaker 1: of mentioning manhood to him. But the only one can

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Speaker 1: tell him how to man act is his father. And

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Speaker 1: his father is solid, because I think he's duplicating with

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Speaker 1: his father did. But then you say they got a

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Speaker 1: lot of money and they both retired, so somebody did

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Speaker 1: something right in their family. Should I get in the

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Speaker 1: middle of the situation, girl, You in the middle of

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Speaker 1: your own mess. Look look what his mama told you.

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Speaker 1: She said, you got a problem on your hands. If

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Speaker 1: he don't stop spending, I leave, He's asked, that's what

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Speaker 1: fash He hardly provoked a divorce. Who it is up

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Speaker 1: on Instagram at Steve Harvey FM to comment on today's

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Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter. You can also check out the Strawberry Letter

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Speaker 1: podcast on demand. Coming up next it is Junior and

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Speaker 1: Sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening to the Stave

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Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show