WEBVTT - The 4-Tier Framework to Effective Goal Setting & Why You've Failed in the Past 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:02.640 Imagine you had a ladder and the only step on 0:00:02.680 --> 0:00:04.600 the ladder was the step at the top, which you 0:00:04.640 --> 0:00:06.160 got you right to the top of where you wanted 0:00:06.240 --> 0:00:08.280 to go, but there were no other steps. Well, you 0:00:08.320 --> 0:00:10.320 might jump up and down a bit, you might try 0:00:10.360 --> 0:00:12.280 and reach that top step. Once you reach it, then 0:00:12.280 --> 0:00:14.120 you're going to pull yourself up. And when you pull 0:00:14.160 --> 0:00:16.760 yourself up, you're gonna use all your upper body standers 0:00:16.840 --> 0:00:19.640 try and then you probably fall. How many of you've 0:00:19.640 --> 0:00:21.400 experienced that and you're yeah, when you're trying to gain 0:00:21.440 --> 0:00:24.599 your news resolutions or your big goals because you only 0:00:24.680 --> 0:00:34.559 ever built the top step. Hey everyone, welcome back to 0:00:34.720 --> 0:00:37.880 On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world, 0:00:38.360 --> 0:00:43.040 helping you become happier, healthier, and more healed. I am 0:00:43.159 --> 0:00:46.040 so excited for twenty twenty three. I hope you are 0:00:46.080 --> 0:00:50.080 as well. Thank you for choosing on Purpose once again. 0:00:50.760 --> 0:00:55.320 I am just so humbled by your commitment, your growth, 0:00:55.600 --> 0:00:59.840 your love. The reviews have just been so beautiful. I 0:01:00.080 --> 0:01:03.760 hope you had the most incredible break. I hope you 0:01:03.800 --> 0:01:06.399 are able to take out time to reflect, to renew 0:01:07.040 --> 0:01:11.880 and this episode is my favorite framework for growth and 0:01:12.040 --> 0:01:15.120 goal setting. This is the framework that I stand by, 0:01:15.240 --> 0:01:18.080 I swear by, I use it every single year and 0:01:18.120 --> 0:01:21.080 I can't wait to see it take effect and make 0:01:21.120 --> 0:01:24.880 an impact in your year this year, and so make 0:01:24.920 --> 0:01:27.280 sure you get your notepads out, your pens out, your 0:01:27.280 --> 0:01:30.640 notes on your iPhone out, whatever you use. This is 0:01:30.640 --> 0:01:33.319 going to be one that's going to transform your year. 0:01:34.040 --> 0:01:36.640 And I'm so pumped you're listening to this. Thanks for 0:01:36.720 --> 0:01:40.440 being here. I want you to have an incredible year. 0:01:40.880 --> 0:01:44.639 I want you to have an incredible day, week, month. 0:01:44.959 --> 0:01:49.760 I want you to just have the year you've been wishing, 0:01:50.040 --> 0:01:54.240 wanting and waiting to have for such a long time. 0:01:54.520 --> 0:01:57.600 And the best thing is this year, we get to 0:01:57.680 --> 0:02:01.040 start it together right, no matter how busy things get, 0:02:01.640 --> 0:02:04.480 no matter how hectic things get, no matter how crazy 0:02:04.600 --> 0:02:07.520 things get, I want you to connect with me here 0:02:07.560 --> 0:02:10.960 every single week because here's the thing. It's the consistency 0:02:11.400 --> 0:02:14.480 that keeps you going. It's the consistency that builds a momentum. 0:02:14.480 --> 0:02:18.000 It's the consistency that breaks down those barriers, that lets 0:02:18.000 --> 0:02:23.000 you help those breakthroughs. It's the consistency that makes everything 0:02:23.000 --> 0:02:26.280 else possible, even the days when you're like, oh I 0:02:26.360 --> 0:02:29.720 can't today, I can't make time when you make time 0:02:29.760 --> 0:02:33.280 on that day, that's when the magic happens. That's when 0:02:33.320 --> 0:02:36.480 incredible things start to happen in your life. It's when 0:02:36.520 --> 0:02:39.240 you don't want to when you do, that's when you 0:02:39.280 --> 0:02:43.200 see shifts and change in your life. But we're literally 0:02:43.320 --> 0:02:47.920 walking into a new decade, right We're walking into a 0:02:48.000 --> 0:02:52.200 new decade, a new moment in our lives. The last 0:02:52.240 --> 0:02:58.839 decade is there, it's gone. You've reflected, you've learned, you've 0:02:58.960 --> 0:03:03.880 left behind, and now it's time to start anew. Now, 0:03:03.960 --> 0:03:08.160 when we're writing the story of our lives, imagine we've 0:03:08.160 --> 0:03:13.280 just finished chapter nineteen and you've now started chapter twenty. 0:03:13.400 --> 0:03:17.320 It's very what's the right word, it's very interesting and 0:03:17.400 --> 0:03:20.200 intriguing and curious to want to go back to chapter 0:03:20.280 --> 0:03:27.320 nineteen or eighteen and seventy and keep rereading it. Nostalgia memories, lessons, mistakes, failures. 0:03:27.320 --> 0:03:29.000 It's easy to go live in the past because it's 0:03:29.000 --> 0:03:32.600 already written. But chapter twenty you're writing it right now, 0:03:33.120 --> 0:03:35.360 so you haven't started living it yet. So it's somewhat 0:03:35.360 --> 0:03:37.880 harder to live because you have to write, you have 0:03:37.960 --> 0:03:42.000 to create again. Now. If you keep rereading the old chapters, 0:03:42.040 --> 0:03:45.160 you can't consciously write the new ones. You may write 0:03:45.160 --> 0:03:49.480 it unconsciously or unintentionally, And if you unintentionally or unconsciously 0:03:49.520 --> 0:03:51.640 write it, you end up living a life that you 0:03:51.680 --> 0:03:54.000 don't really want to live. So I want you to 0:03:54.040 --> 0:03:57.560 bring your presence and your awareness and your attention right now. 0:03:57.840 --> 0:04:02.880 This is your year, this is our year. This is 0:04:02.880 --> 0:04:06.200 the year that you make the shifts, the changes, the 0:04:06.360 --> 0:04:10.240 progress that you've been wanting to make. And to help 0:04:10.280 --> 0:04:13.800 you do that, I'm going to give you a new 0:04:14.160 --> 0:04:18.840 type of goal setting, a completely unique and different type 0:04:18.880 --> 0:04:22.600 of goal setting that you've never done before. Because a 0:04:22.640 --> 0:04:27.040 new decade needs new tools, right a new decade needs 0:04:27.040 --> 0:04:30.320 a new approach, a new progress. I don't want us 0:04:30.360 --> 0:04:33.000 to keep applying the same things that fail every single year. 0:04:33.080 --> 0:04:35.720 How many times have you make goals and resolutions and 0:04:35.760 --> 0:04:38.800 they have just failed every single year. I want to 0:04:38.839 --> 0:04:42.640 give you a plan that, if you genuinely commit to it, 0:04:43.160 --> 0:04:46.080 if you genuinely listen and connect with what I'm about 0:04:46.120 --> 0:04:48.920 to share with you, when you make goals in this way, 0:04:49.480 --> 0:04:52.679 you're going to find them not just it's not about 0:04:52.680 --> 0:04:56.919 being easy to reach. It's going to be easy to process, 0:04:57.040 --> 0:05:02.240 easy to focus on and understand. What to commit to. Now, 0:05:02.279 --> 0:05:07.560 this goal setting framework has four key elements to it, 0:05:08.279 --> 0:05:11.280 and before I dive in, I just want to let 0:05:11.320 --> 0:05:16.839 you know about some of the stats around New Year's resolutions, 0:05:17.120 --> 0:05:21.720 right because I think it's important to realize how unlikely 0:05:22.400 --> 0:05:26.040 people are to keep up with their news resolutions. Now, 0:05:26.520 --> 0:05:30.760 this was something that I read in a ink article 0:05:31.200 --> 0:05:34.240 and it was talking about how the top ten New 0:05:34.279 --> 0:05:37.239 Year's resolutions according to a survey of two thousand people, 0:05:38.000 --> 0:05:42.599 seventy one wanted to die or eat healthier. Sixty five 0:05:42.600 --> 0:05:46.440 percent wanted to exercise more, fifty four percent wanted to 0:05:46.480 --> 0:05:49.880 lose weight, thirty two percent wanted to save more and 0:05:50.000 --> 0:05:53.360 spend less. Twenty six percent wanted to learn a new 0:05:53.400 --> 0:05:56.839 skill or hobby. Remember that twenty one percent wanted to 0:05:56.880 --> 0:06:01.560 quit smoking, seventeen percent wanted to read more, sixteen percent 0:06:01.600 --> 0:06:05.159 wanted to find another job, fifteen percent wanted to drink 0:06:05.240 --> 0:06:08.680 less alcohol, and thirteen percent wanted to spend more time 0:06:08.720 --> 0:06:12.400 with family and friends. Right down, right now, Which ones 0:06:12.480 --> 0:06:15.800 were ones that you've made before and broken? Number one 0:06:15.839 --> 0:06:18.479 room was diet or health Too was exercise more, three 0:06:18.600 --> 0:06:21.400 was lose weight, four wards save more, spend less. Five 0:06:21.600 --> 0:06:23.960 was learning new skill or hobby. Six was quit smoking, 0:06:24.000 --> 0:06:26.840 seven was read more, eight was find another job, nine 0:06:26.839 --> 0:06:29.839 was drink less alcohol, and ten was spend more time 0:06:30.080 --> 0:06:33.640 with family and friends. We've all made those, we've all 0:06:33.680 --> 0:06:38.640 broken those. Now why is that the case? Why do 0:06:38.839 --> 0:06:43.560 we break New Year's resolutions? And here's my hypothesis, right, 0:06:43.720 --> 0:06:48.520 my opinion hypothesis is because we don't follow this four 0:06:48.839 --> 0:06:52.479 step framework. This four step framework will give you the 0:06:52.520 --> 0:06:57.039 ability to realize why we make mistakes and why we 0:06:57.080 --> 0:07:00.240 don't live up to our resolutions and our plans that 0:07:00.279 --> 0:07:03.840 are so important to us, right, and why we set 0:07:03.960 --> 0:07:06.640 to say that about sixty percent of us make news resolutions, 0:07:06.800 --> 0:07:11.120 but only eight percent are successful in actually following them through. 0:07:11.200 --> 0:07:13.960 We want to change that. We want to change that. 0:07:13.960 --> 0:07:15.480 We don't want to bet on being part of that 0:07:15.560 --> 0:07:20.240 eight percent. Right, So here are the four steps. The 0:07:20.400 --> 0:07:23.360 first step to think about when looking at your goal. 0:07:23.480 --> 0:07:26.120 So you set a goal, right, whatever your goal is, 0:07:26.160 --> 0:07:28.920 one of those goals, here's the framework to achieving it. 0:07:28.960 --> 0:07:33.360 The first thing you ask yourself is growth. What do 0:07:33.440 --> 0:07:37.600 you need to grow to get that? Right? What do 0:07:37.680 --> 0:07:42.200 you need to learn growing? What growth do you need 0:07:42.760 --> 0:07:47.120 to focus on in your life? In order to get 0:07:47.200 --> 0:07:51.680 that goal, what is the growth behind the goal? So 0:07:51.840 --> 0:07:55.760 let's say it's social media. Right, Let's say it's social media, 0:07:55.760 --> 0:07:59.600 and you say my goal is to have more followers, right, 0:07:59.680 --> 0:08:02.160 which I don't think it's a great goal. But let's 0:08:02.160 --> 0:08:05.040 say you have a more meaningful goal. That's your goal 0:08:05.160 --> 0:08:08.800 is to create content that impacts the world. Right now, 0:08:08.840 --> 0:08:11.600 you don't need to grow followers, right. That would be 0:08:11.600 --> 0:08:13.480 the common thing to say, Oh, I'm trying to grow 0:08:13.480 --> 0:08:15.760 my followers. That's the growth I need you. No, no, no, 0:08:16.120 --> 0:08:18.720 you need to grow content, which means you need to 0:08:18.720 --> 0:08:23.200 grow storytelling skills. Notice the difference, Right, So someone writes 0:08:23.240 --> 0:08:25.320 down their goals, I want to grow my followers. Someone 0:08:25.360 --> 0:08:28.000 writes down their goal is I want to grow the 0:08:28.000 --> 0:08:32.040 amount of subscribers to my podcast. Well, that's a goal, 0:08:32.120 --> 0:08:34.560 but that's not really the growth you need to make, 0:08:35.080 --> 0:08:37.080 because then all you're trying to do is do things 0:08:37.880 --> 0:08:39.880 that directly impact that. But that's not the case. What 0:08:39.920 --> 0:08:41.679 you need to do is grow your content, which means 0:08:41.679 --> 0:08:43.600 you need to grow your storytelling. What it means you 0:08:43.640 --> 0:08:46.880 need to grow your content creation approach. You need to 0:08:46.960 --> 0:08:50.400 grow in learning how to create more content. Right, that's 0:08:50.440 --> 0:08:52.760 the focus that it has to be, so we don't 0:08:52.800 --> 0:08:55.640 focus on growth. We focus too much on goals when 0:08:55.640 --> 0:08:58.080 our focus should be growth. What do we need to 0:08:58.240 --> 0:09:00.599 grow in to achieve that goal? Now, I'll give you 0:09:00.640 --> 0:09:04.320 an example. So this year, my first ever book is 0:09:04.360 --> 0:09:07.200 coming out in April. It's my first of a book. 0:09:07.200 --> 0:09:09.560 It's called Think Like a Monk. It's available for pre 0:09:09.720 --> 0:09:13.320 order right now. And so for me, of course, I 0:09:13.440 --> 0:09:16.120 want so many of you to be able to change 0:09:16.160 --> 0:09:19.320 your life and transform your life through my book. But 0:09:19.400 --> 0:09:21.480 the growth I need to be able to do that 0:09:22.120 --> 0:09:25.520 is to be able to help you understand why this 0:09:25.520 --> 0:09:28.240 book is relevant in your life. Right, I need to 0:09:28.240 --> 0:09:30.640 be helple to make sure that you all know that 0:09:30.679 --> 0:09:34.280 it's available because guess what, the algorithm doesn't make everyone 0:09:34.320 --> 0:09:36.240 know and let everyone know that my book is available. 0:09:36.280 --> 0:09:38.240 So I need to make sure that you all know 0:09:38.320 --> 0:09:41.199 that it exists and that it's available. So I'm focused 0:09:41.200 --> 0:09:42.880 on the growth, not just on the goal. Because if 0:09:42.880 --> 0:09:45.439 I'm just focused on the goal, I'm just obsessed with 0:09:45.480 --> 0:09:50.920 this elusive, arbitrary result. So many of our goals are 0:09:51.920 --> 0:09:54.680 really not goal their visions. Right, you may have a 0:09:54.800 --> 0:09:57.720 vision to be one of the best you know businesses 0:09:57.720 --> 0:09:59.200 of all time. You may have a vision to have 0:09:59.360 --> 0:10:01.920 one of the most romances of all time, but that's 0:10:01.960 --> 0:10:04.800 not really a goal, right. A goal is something that 0:10:04.840 --> 0:10:07.080 you can grow towards, and I want you to focus 0:10:07.080 --> 0:10:10.120 on what growth you need to make this year. Growth 0:10:10.120 --> 0:10:12.600 includes things like what skills do you need to learn? 0:10:13.160 --> 0:10:16.960 What abilities do you need to gather and grow? What 0:10:17.160 --> 0:10:20.000 qualities do you need to grow and develop in. Maybe 0:10:20.040 --> 0:10:22.640 that's what it's going to take. So last year, when 0:10:22.679 --> 0:10:26.160 I was launching my podcast, my goal was to have 0:10:26.640 --> 0:10:29.520 a number one podcast, which thanks to all of you, happened. 0:10:29.840 --> 0:10:32.280 But the goal is not enough to get there. What 0:10:32.360 --> 0:10:34.120 I needed was a growth. So the growth was I 0:10:34.200 --> 0:10:36.560 needed to grow to become an interviewer, and needed to 0:10:36.600 --> 0:10:39.160 grow to have a network where I could invite incredible 0:10:39.200 --> 0:10:42.480 guests onto the podcast, and needed to grow my understanding 0:10:42.800 --> 0:10:45.680 of how to develop and produce a podcast. Right, those 0:10:45.720 --> 0:10:49.600 are the growth elements that were powering the goal. The 0:10:49.640 --> 0:10:53.000 goal in and of itself meant nothing. So if your 0:10:53.080 --> 0:10:56.360 goal this year is to which is usually one of 0:10:56.400 --> 0:10:58.880 the number one goals is a diet or eat healthier, 0:10:59.320 --> 0:11:01.080 it's like, well, what's skill do you need to grow 0:11:01.160 --> 0:11:04.400 or Maybe you need to grow habit formation skills, right, 0:11:04.440 --> 0:11:07.280 Maybe you need to grow resilience. Maybe you need to 0:11:07.320 --> 0:11:11.160 grow mental strength, and maybe that's what you need to grow. 0:11:11.240 --> 0:11:14.959 That's what's stopping you because hey, guess what, just telling 0:11:15.000 --> 0:11:18.079 yourself I'm not going to eat carbs or fats. Right, 0:11:18.080 --> 0:11:20.800 if that was your diet plan, that's not good enough 0:11:21.320 --> 0:11:23.679 because it's the growth that gets you to the goal, 0:11:23.920 --> 0:11:28.280 not the goal in and of itself. Does that make sense? Right? 0:11:28.320 --> 0:11:31.000 Does that really resonate you? Connect with that? If your 0:11:31.040 --> 0:11:34.040 goal this year is to exercise more, you have to 0:11:34.040 --> 0:11:36.000 ask yourself, well, what do I need to grow in 0:11:36.280 --> 0:11:38.080 to be able to exercise more? Okay? So I need 0:11:38.120 --> 0:11:41.240 to grow in my discipline. Okay, I need to be 0:11:41.320 --> 0:11:44.800 more disciplined. Okay, I need to grow in my accountability 0:11:44.840 --> 0:11:47.640 to someone. Right, it's not just about exercising more. It's 0:11:47.679 --> 0:11:51.560 not just forcing yourself pushing yourself to the gym, you know, 0:11:51.679 --> 0:11:54.520 just you know, pushing yourself there with all the energy 0:11:54.600 --> 0:11:58.040 you have, dragging yourself there. Right, that's not good enough. 0:11:58.760 --> 0:12:00.640 We have to think about what's all we want to learn? 0:12:00.679 --> 0:12:03.000 And that's why I said only twenty six percent of 0:12:03.000 --> 0:12:09.360 people have the resolution of learning a new skill only 0:12:09.400 --> 0:12:12.960 twenty six people. So if only twenty six percent of 0:12:12.960 --> 0:12:14.920 people have the resolution to learn a new skill or 0:12:14.920 --> 0:12:17.520 a hobby, that's all missing out. That's the growth, right, 0:12:17.520 --> 0:12:20.719 That's where we're missing the trick, because it's actually the 0:12:20.840 --> 0:12:23.480 learning of a new skill, the growing and a new 0:12:23.480 --> 0:12:27.160 ability or quality that gets you to the goal, not 0:12:27.320 --> 0:12:30.320 just thinking about and having a goal in and of itself. 0:12:30.360 --> 0:12:32.800 And so often that's all we have, the reason why 0:12:32.880 --> 0:12:35.400 we don't get to our goals is all we have 0:12:35.559 --> 0:12:38.880 is goals, not a growth plan, right, And I really 0:12:38.920 --> 0:12:41.200 want you to think about growth this year. Do you 0:12:41.200 --> 0:12:43.160 need to learn a new language. Do you need to 0:12:43.200 --> 0:12:45.520 learn how to code? Do you need to learn how 0:12:45.600 --> 0:12:49.120 to edit? Do you need to learn how to master habits? 0:12:49.360 --> 0:12:51.679 Do you need to learn how to focus on purpose 0:12:51.720 --> 0:12:54.640 and passion and peace and meaning? So much of it 0:12:54.720 --> 0:12:58.280 is in that, so much of changing our life is 0:12:58.280 --> 0:13:02.600 in learning how to change our habits observing ourselves. Because 0:13:02.640 --> 0:13:04.000 once you know how to change your habits, you can 0:13:04.000 --> 0:13:06.280 then apply that to any habit. But if you've never 0:13:06.320 --> 0:13:09.079 been taught or trained how to change your habits, then 0:13:09.120 --> 0:13:11.280 you can't change any habit. And that's the challenge we 0:13:11.360 --> 0:13:18.200 end up in The second focus in goal setting is 0:13:18.240 --> 0:13:23.480 I want you to observe your opportunities, right. I want 0:13:23.480 --> 0:13:28.000 you to know the opportunities that you're going to say 0:13:28.120 --> 0:13:31.360 yes to this year, and the opportunities you're going to 0:13:31.360 --> 0:13:34.559 say no to this year, and the opportunities that you're 0:13:34.559 --> 0:13:37.240 going to see maybe too this year. So I want 0:13:37.280 --> 0:13:41.959 you to be clear on the criteria of opportunities you 0:13:42.040 --> 0:13:47.160 say yes to, opportunities you say no to, and opportunities 0:13:47.160 --> 0:13:50.480 you say maybe too. I'll tell you why. One of 0:13:50.520 --> 0:13:55.360 the biggest reasons why we don't achieve our goals is 0:13:55.400 --> 0:13:59.679 because of this. We say yes to too many things 0:14:00.400 --> 0:14:03.600 that are not what our priority is. We say no 0:14:03.840 --> 0:14:07.800 to too many things that are our priority. And maybe 0:14:07.800 --> 0:14:09.319 it's just for those of you who are saying I'm 0:14:09.360 --> 0:14:11.640 still undecided on a few things, but really you want 0:14:11.640 --> 0:14:16.120 to know and clarify for yourself the criteria of why 0:14:16.200 --> 0:14:19.480 you say yes to an opportunity and why you say 0:14:19.560 --> 0:14:22.760 no to an opportunity. Let's say your priority this year 0:14:22.880 --> 0:14:25.840 is to exercise more. Right, If your priority is to 0:14:25.960 --> 0:14:29.400 exercise more, and that's a priority in your life, then 0:14:29.440 --> 0:14:32.280 you may say that opportunities that come up during my 0:14:32.400 --> 0:14:37.520 exercise time are always a no. So if I'm exercising 0:14:37.640 --> 0:14:40.880 at eight am every day, if it is this type 0:14:40.880 --> 0:14:42.360 of opportunity, I will not do it. So I'll give 0:14:42.360 --> 0:14:44.280 you a personal example of mind, just to make it really, 0:14:44.320 --> 0:14:48.160 really simple. I exercise every morning from eight fifteen am 0:14:48.240 --> 0:14:50.640 to nine am, about four to five days a week. 0:14:50.720 --> 0:14:53.440 That's my workout time, and I have a very clear 0:14:53.480 --> 0:14:57.440 criteria that the only reason I will miss that time 0:14:57.920 --> 0:15:00.240 is if I have a press interview. So this year, 0:15:00.320 --> 0:15:01.760 when I've been on the Today Show where I was 0:15:01.800 --> 0:15:04.840 an Access Hollywood, or any of those examples that I've 0:15:04.840 --> 0:15:07.400 had to go on a press piece, which isn't all 0:15:07.440 --> 0:15:09.200 the time. It's an exception. It's not like I'm on 0:15:09.280 --> 0:15:12.000 press every single week. When I've had to do that, 0:15:12.000 --> 0:15:16.080 that is the only criteria by which I say no 0:15:16.320 --> 0:15:20.720 to my workout and yes to the opportunity. Apart from that, 0:15:20.800 --> 0:15:24.480 and of course family emergencies or personal issues. Apart from that, 0:15:24.560 --> 0:15:28.360 I do not compromise. I do not negotiate with that time. 0:15:28.760 --> 0:15:31.360 So you need to realize what are your non negotiables, 0:15:31.440 --> 0:15:33.520 what are the things that you will not negotiate on, 0:15:33.840 --> 0:15:36.200 What are the opportunities that you will say yes to 0:15:36.280 --> 0:15:38.280 a note to I'll give you another example. Let's say 0:15:38.360 --> 0:15:41.680 that your priority this year is waking up early. You 0:15:41.760 --> 0:15:44.160 might have to say no to late night parties and 0:15:44.360 --> 0:15:47.840 late night networking events. Now, if that is your priority, 0:15:48.240 --> 0:15:50.640 you have to be clear what is the criteria with 0:15:50.760 --> 0:15:54.000 which I would say yes to a late night event. 0:15:54.520 --> 0:15:56.320 It maybe that I'm going to get to meet the 0:15:56.360 --> 0:15:59.840 biggest idol of my teens. Right. It may be because 0:16:00.000 --> 0:16:02.800 I'm getting to interview someone I've been wanting to interview 0:16:02.840 --> 0:16:05.640 for a long time. Right. It may be because you're 0:16:05.640 --> 0:16:07.720 getting to spent on with someone you love and family 0:16:07.760 --> 0:16:09.520 that's in town. But that has to be an exception. 0:16:10.320 --> 0:16:12.720 So when it comes to opportunities, because guess what, we 0:16:12.800 --> 0:16:15.560 all have endless opportunities in our life in different areas 0:16:15.600 --> 0:16:19.119 of our life, we have to make a clearer criteria 0:16:19.520 --> 0:16:21.400 of what do I say yes too? And what do 0:16:21.440 --> 0:16:23.960 I say no to? When do I say yes and 0:16:24.000 --> 0:16:26.800 when do I say no? Why do I say yes 0:16:26.840 --> 0:16:29.800 and why do I say no? Because we don't create 0:16:29.880 --> 0:16:35.320 these agreements and these contracts and these to be honest, 0:16:35.560 --> 0:16:38.840 because we just don't clarify this criteria with ourselves, We're 0:16:38.880 --> 0:16:46.480 confused When you don't clearly clarify your criteria, it leads 0:16:46.520 --> 0:16:52.240 to confusion about your choices. And when you get confused 0:16:52.280 --> 0:16:55.080 by your choices, you end up lost, and then you 0:16:55.120 --> 0:16:58.440 generally don't achieve anything. And so I don't want you 0:16:58.480 --> 0:17:00.920 to be in that position. I don't want to be confused. 0:17:01.160 --> 0:17:02.960 I don't want you to be lost. I don't want 0:17:03.000 --> 0:17:04.680 you to lack clarity. I want you to have clear 0:17:04.760 --> 0:17:08.120 criteria for your opportunities that you're going to say yes 0:17:08.160 --> 0:17:12.160 to and no to based on your goal. So let's 0:17:12.160 --> 0:17:14.960 take another goal, just to give you a fresh example. 0:17:15.520 --> 0:17:19.040 Let's see your goal is to save more and spend less. 0:17:19.800 --> 0:17:21.520 When are you going to say yes to that? And 0:17:21.600 --> 0:17:23.080 when are you going to say no to that? No 0:17:23.240 --> 0:17:25.960 your criteria, you may say that I'm going to say 0:17:26.000 --> 0:17:30.120 no to that for one vacation this year where we're 0:17:30.119 --> 0:17:32.360 going to treat ourselves more. Right, We're going to treat 0:17:32.359 --> 0:17:34.560 ourselves more. We've got big anniversuary coming out. But apart 0:17:34.560 --> 0:17:37.000 from that, I'm going to honor that rule. Right, we 0:17:37.080 --> 0:17:39.440 have to set rules with ourselves. We don't set these 0:17:39.520 --> 0:17:42.119 rules consciously, so when it comes to them, what happens 0:17:42.160 --> 0:17:45.800 your default mind wins that's what's happening every time. When 0:17:45.800 --> 0:17:48.640 you don't set these rules, when you don't set this criteria, 0:17:48.680 --> 0:17:53.400 when it comes to crunch time, your default mind, your 0:17:53.480 --> 0:17:57.320 monkey mind, wins because that's the mind and the habit 0:17:57.359 --> 0:17:59.400 and the pattern that's already been built. That's what you've 0:17:59.400 --> 0:18:01.879 already given into. So when you're saying I'm not going 0:18:01.920 --> 0:18:04.000 to eat sugar anymore, but you've built up no rules 0:18:04.040 --> 0:18:07.760 of yes and nose, right, then when it gets to 0:18:07.800 --> 0:18:10.000 eating sugar, you give in because that's what you love, 0:18:10.080 --> 0:18:12.400 that's what you've built the habit and pattern of. So 0:18:12.400 --> 0:18:14.840 one of the biggest reasons why we don't achieve our 0:18:14.880 --> 0:18:19.200 goals and our resolutions is because we don't create clarity 0:18:19.320 --> 0:18:22.480 around our opportunities. So I want you to say, yes, 0:18:22.560 --> 0:18:24.240 this is what I'm going to say yes too, based 0:18:24.240 --> 0:18:26.600 on these criteria, this is what I'm going to say 0:18:26.640 --> 0:18:30.040 no to, right, And I want you to find so 0:18:30.119 --> 0:18:35.520 much understanding around the point number three of this four 0:18:35.720 --> 0:18:43.280 step framework, the action plan. We have these goals, we 0:18:43.359 --> 0:18:46.080 write them down, you may even make them the screen 0:18:46.160 --> 0:18:49.680 saver of your laptop at work and your phone, but 0:18:49.720 --> 0:18:55.160 there is zero action plan. There is zero activities planned 0:18:55.400 --> 0:18:57.600 as to how you're going to achieve this goal. When 0:18:57.600 --> 0:18:59.879 I say an action plan, I mean a minute by 0:19:00.040 --> 0:19:03.119 minute right quality. By quality, I mean a minute by minute, 0:19:03.119 --> 0:19:07.000 hour by hour plan of when this is being worked on. 0:19:07.400 --> 0:19:10.080 Too many of us set these lofty goals and never 0:19:10.160 --> 0:19:13.240 break them down into the building blocks to actually get 0:19:13.320 --> 0:19:15.960 us there. For me, I see this like a ladder. 0:19:16.720 --> 0:19:19.400 If you have a ladder and your goal is at 0:19:19.400 --> 0:19:23.880 the top of a ladder, your action plan is creating 0:19:24.000 --> 0:19:26.280 every step of the ladder so you can go up there. 0:19:26.480 --> 0:19:29.200 Imagine you had a ladder and the only step on 0:19:29.240 --> 0:19:31.359 the ladder was the step at the top, which got 0:19:31.400 --> 0:19:33.040 you right to the top of where you wanted to go, 0:19:33.280 --> 0:19:35.520 but there were no other steps. Are you going to 0:19:35.560 --> 0:19:38.200 achieve that goal? Well, you might jump up and down 0:19:38.240 --> 0:19:40.359 a bit. You might try and reach that top step. 0:19:40.400 --> 0:19:42.439 Once you reach it, then you're going to pull yourself up. 0:19:42.480 --> 0:19:44.440 And when you pull yourself up, you're gonna use all 0:19:44.440 --> 0:19:47.600 your upper body standers try and then you probably fall. 0:19:49.280 --> 0:19:50.959 How many of you have experienced and you're yeah, when 0:19:50.960 --> 0:19:53.679 you're trying to gain your news resolutions or your big goals, 0:19:53.720 --> 0:19:58.280 because you only ever built the top step. You didn't 0:19:58.320 --> 0:20:02.600 build the one too, three, four, five, six, seven steps 0:20:03.080 --> 0:20:06.639 before the top step. I'm actually staring at the ladder 0:20:06.760 --> 0:20:10.359 right now in my office, which is a false ladder. 0:20:10.359 --> 0:20:12.840 It's a bit small, but for my bookshelf that it's 0:20:12.880 --> 0:20:16.000 like there are sevens. If there were seven steps missing, 0:20:16.880 --> 0:20:19.000 how would you get to that top step? So the 0:20:19.080 --> 0:20:23.159 action plan should be let's say my goal is to 0:20:24.680 --> 0:20:27.800 find another job. That's the top steps. Then I want 0:20:27.840 --> 0:20:29.879 you to ask the question, how am I going to 0:20:29.920 --> 0:20:35.119 find another job? Okay? I'm going to research about other jobs? Okay? 0:20:35.160 --> 0:20:38.520 How am I going to research about other jobs? Okay? 0:20:38.640 --> 0:20:42.359 Notice how this is building the steps downwards? Okay, then okay, 0:20:42.400 --> 0:20:44.520 research other jobs? How am I going to research other jobs? 0:20:44.600 --> 0:20:48.200 I'm going to speak to people that I know in careers? Okay? 0:20:48.359 --> 0:20:49.800 How am I going to speak to them? I'm going 0:20:49.880 --> 0:20:52.920 to ask my friend for their number or their email? Okay? 0:20:53.000 --> 0:20:54.960 How am I going to do that? For my friend 0:20:55.000 --> 0:20:56.760 or my email? I'm going to text them right now? 0:20:57.080 --> 0:21:01.639 Notice how I have built the step ladder to right now. 0:21:02.520 --> 0:21:05.320 If your action plan doesn't build a step ladder to 0:21:05.400 --> 0:21:07.919 a step you can do right now in this very moment, 0:21:07.960 --> 0:21:10.440 that is not an action plan. So now my action 0:21:10.480 --> 0:21:11.879 is I'm going to text my friend to say can 0:21:11.880 --> 0:21:15.400 you please introduce me via email or message to your 0:21:15.480 --> 0:21:18.919 friend that is a graphic designer, that is a digital marketer, 0:21:19.119 --> 0:21:22.439 that is a accountant, that is a lawyer, whatever it is, 0:21:22.600 --> 0:21:24.840 because I need to talk to them. If you have 0:21:24.920 --> 0:21:27.040 not built your action plan to an activity you can 0:21:27.040 --> 0:21:28.840 take right now. If your action plan is I need 0:21:28.880 --> 0:21:32.560 to research new jobs, no that's not right now. You 0:21:32.600 --> 0:21:34.800 can say I need to research new jobs on LinkedIn, 0:21:35.200 --> 0:21:37.359 and I'm going to go to LinkedIn right now. That 0:21:37.560 --> 0:21:40.280 is an action plan with a step that you can 0:21:40.320 --> 0:21:43.080 take today. If your action plan doesn't have a step 0:21:43.119 --> 0:21:45.399 you can do right now, it is not a complete 0:21:45.480 --> 0:21:48.840 action plan. An action plan isn't just I will go 0:21:49.320 --> 0:21:52.840 to the gym three times a week. No, an action 0:21:52.920 --> 0:21:54.840 plan is what can I do right now? I will 0:21:54.880 --> 0:22:00.520 go to the gym to do these exact workouts these 0:22:00.600 --> 0:22:03.720