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Speaker 1: On this week's episode of Cultivating her Space. If somebody

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Speaker 1: doesn't like something I say or something that I do,

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Speaker 1: not to say that I'm just out here, just you know,

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Speaker 1: saying whatever and not being intentional about the way that

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Speaker 1: I'm living. But I am no longer a prisoner of

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Speaker 1: the opinions of other people like I was when I

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Speaker 1: was younger. Today's episode is sure to provide you with motivation, inspiration,

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Speaker 1: or a fresh perspective. If you have any AHA moments

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Speaker 1: or appreciate anything from this episode, please leave us a

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Speaker 1: review to let us know we're on the right track. Also,

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Speaker 1: we release episodes every Friday, so be sure to subscribe

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Speaker 1: on iTunes and visit cultivatinghurspace dot com to access our

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Speaker 1: exclusive after show and other bonus content from the Patreon tab.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to Cultivating her Space, a podcast dedicated to uplifting

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Speaker 2: women like you.

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Speaker 1: We're your hosts.

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Speaker 2: Doctor Dominique Broussard, a college professor and psychologist.

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Speaker 1: And Terry Lomax, a techie and motivational speaker. In a

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Speaker 1: world where black women are often misrepresented and misunderstood, please

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Speaker 1: join us as we initiate authentic conversations on everything from

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Speaker 1: five rooids to fake friends and create a safe space

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Speaker 1: where black women can just be.

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Speaker 2: Hey, lady's doctor dom here from the Cultivating her Space podcast.

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Speaker 2: Are you currently a resident of the state of California

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Speaker 2: in contemplating starting your therapy journey? Well, if so, please

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Speaker 2: reach out to me at doctor Dominique Brussard dot com.

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Speaker 2: That's d R D O M I N I q

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Speaker 2: U E b r O U ss ar d dot

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Speaker 2: com to schedule a free fifteen minute consultation. Look forward

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Speaker 2: to hearing from you. All Right, our quote of the day, Lady.

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Speaker 2: If you listen to any of our episodes where we

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Speaker 2: have a guest, then you are gonna be familiar with

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Speaker 2: this quote. So get into it and I'm gonna try

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Speaker 2: my best to channel my Terry voice here. We recognize, appreciate,

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Speaker 2: and celebrate the multifaceted woman, and believe that it's okay

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Speaker 2: to be bougie, classy and ratchet and you can still

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Speaker 2: be elegant and dance to strip club music. Terry and

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Speaker 2: doctor don So I'm gonna read that quote one more time.

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Speaker 2: We recognize, appreciate, and celebrate the multifaceted woman, and believe

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Speaker 2: it's okay to be bougie, classy and ratchet, and you

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Speaker 2: can still be elegant and dance to strip club music.

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Speaker 2: So today we invite you to our Oh You Blatchet?

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Speaker 2: Episode A te Do you take on the challenge? Girl?

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Speaker 1: I'm ready for the challenge. Yes, I was born ready.

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Speaker 1: I am so excited that we're doing this episode. Me too,

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Speaker 1: set A two.

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Speaker 2: Right, it took time, m.

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Speaker 1: I guess we should just jump on in. Just let's

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Speaker 1: do it, lady. We're about to jump on in into

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Speaker 1: what it means to be blatchet, bougie, classy, and ratchet

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Speaker 1: and why it's important, right, because we were very intentional

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Speaker 1: about creating one trademarking this question, oh you blatch it, right,

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Speaker 1: and creating meaning for that behind us. Some of you

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Speaker 1: may have heard, what is it sophistic ratchet?

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Speaker 2: Right?

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Speaker 1: Yes, there's clatchet. There are different terms out there, but

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Speaker 1: this is our term that we created for the podcast.

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Speaker 1: And I guess what we can do is start by

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Speaker 1: just talking about the multifaceted woman. Right. We are multi

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Speaker 1: dimensional beings, meaning that there are many sides to us

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Speaker 1: that can coexist at one time. We've talked about this

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Speaker 1: on other episodes, but I think about the day and

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Speaker 1: age that we live in now Dom and at this

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Speaker 1: point in time of us recording this episode, Black China

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Speaker 1: has been in the news lately and many of you

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Speaker 1: probably know Black China. Google herks. I don't want to

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Speaker 1: you know, I don't. I don't. Yeah, I don't want

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Speaker 1: to say the wrong thing, like I want to make

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Speaker 1: sure you're able to do your research. But from what

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Speaker 1: I have known about her, I followed her or have

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Speaker 1: heard of her over the years. She started off as

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Speaker 1: a stripper and she is now in many cases a

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Speaker 1: household name, like people know her now. I mean she's

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Speaker 1: in the same realm as the Kardashians, you know, having

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Speaker 1: her you know, a child with one of the Kardashians.

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Speaker 1: And she's also a businesswoman. She has her own TV show,

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Speaker 1: she has her own products right and right now in

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Speaker 1: the media, we see her because she's decided to trans

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Speaker 1: I want to say, revert her body back to as

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Speaker 1: close to what it was before. She had various procedures

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Speaker 1: and plastic surgery done right, and so people have a

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Speaker 1: lot of opinions about this. I believe she's also being

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Speaker 1: born again. She's having different tattoos removed, some of which

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Speaker 1: were like a devil on her. She's having her philler

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Speaker 1: removed and going by her government name, and she's doing

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Speaker 1: a whole rebrand. Some people are saying it's for pr reasons.

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Speaker 1: Some people were saying she's about to sell something. I

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Speaker 1: don't know what she's doing, but I want to just

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Speaker 1: ground ourselves in this idea of us being multi dimensional. Right,

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Speaker 1: I mean that you can be classy, you can be bougie,

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Speaker 1: and you could be ratchet at the same damn time. Right. Yes,

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Speaker 1: So we're going to talk about today because I think

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Speaker 1: sometimes now, when people see one side of you, they

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Speaker 1: will put you in a box and they have seen

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Speaker 1: that that is the totality of who you are, who

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Speaker 1: you're ever gonna be. And when you jump outside the

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Speaker 1: box or you expose a different part of yourself, then

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Speaker 1: people are quick to say things like, oh you changed,

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, what happened to her, When it's like, no, boo,

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Speaker 1: this is literally who I've been the whole time. I'm

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Speaker 1: just now showing you another layer of myself, right, Or

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Speaker 1: I'm showing you what I want you to see versus

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Speaker 1: what you've always been accustomed to. And so I think

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Speaker 1: it's just important for us to realize that we don't

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Speaker 1: always know people right. We know what they show us,

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Speaker 1: we know what they choose to reveal, but we don't

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Speaker 1: really know who a person is and what they're capable

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Speaker 1: of and what dimensions exist within them. You know what

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Speaker 1: do you think?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, as you were saying that, it just makes me

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Speaker 2: think about, like when we think about social media media

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Speaker 2: and what we put out on social media, and how

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Speaker 2: oftentimes we tend to take what's on social media as gospel,

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Speaker 2: as like this is exactly who this person is, right,

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Speaker 2: And we often do that with like celebrities or people

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Speaker 2: that we see that we don't know personally, right, and

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Speaker 2: we make assumptions.

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Speaker 1: About who they are.

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Speaker 2: And hell, even the people that we do know personally,

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Speaker 2: they present to us in one way or we know

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Speaker 2: them in one particular context, and we assume that that

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Speaker 2: is the totality of who they are and expect that

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Speaker 2: they're supposed to present in that exact same way in

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Speaker 2: every environment. And that's really not realistic.

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Speaker 1: Yes, now, dom I agree with that one hundred percent.

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Speaker 1: I think it's also really difficult time time for people

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Speaker 1: to accept a full person or mentally fathom a whole person.

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Speaker 1: I think people like to put people in boxes because

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Speaker 1: it gives you understanding. It allows you to sort of contextualize, Oh,

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Speaker 1: this is who this person is, and so now I

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Speaker 1: can better understand how to engage with them, or now

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Speaker 1: I just know what it is because I've put them

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Speaker 1: in this little box here right now.

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Speaker 2: But I also think about what I also think about too,

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Speaker 2: is corporate America right, or like athletes and how like

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Speaker 2: particularly for those of us that are in the working world,

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Speaker 2: that they're and some of this is changing, thank goodness,

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Speaker 2: we are evolving. But there's a certain way that we

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Speaker 2: are expected to behave based on our career or our profession.

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Speaker 2: And when we don't be behave in that ascribed we

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Speaker 2: don't subscribe to that script of what a teacher is

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Speaker 2: supposed to be, would a bank teller is supposed to be?

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Speaker 2: Would a manager at McDonald's is supposed to be? Right like,

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Speaker 2: when we don't fit those certain scripts, people find that problematic.

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Speaker 1: That's such a good point. Don I remember back in

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Speaker 1: the day, remember when tattoos were really taboo? I remember, right,

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Speaker 1: I remember seeing this image of a doctor with their

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Speaker 1: scrubs on long sleeved scrubs you couldn't see any of

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Speaker 1: their tattoos, and they would compare that image to the

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Speaker 1: same doctor with a short sleeve shirt on and they

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Speaker 1: had these tattoos, and they were like, which doctor would

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Speaker 1: you want to, you know, operate on you? And I

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Speaker 1: think because of how we were conditioned, right, a lot

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Speaker 1: of this is social conditioning. I would say, oh, my gosh,

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Speaker 1: I don't want the one with the tattoos. But when

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Speaker 1: you think about it, what the hell does tattoos have

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Speaker 1: to do with someone being able to do their job.

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Speaker 2: If you about to cut me open, and you are

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Speaker 2: the best at cutting people open, then I don't.

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Speaker 1: You could have.

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Speaker 2: All the tattoos in the world, all the piercings, your

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Speaker 2: hair could look however rainbow colors.

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Speaker 1: Okay, as long.

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Speaker 2: As your hair and your tattoos and your piercings are

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Speaker 2: not going to end up in my body and you

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Speaker 2: are able to effectively perform that surgery better than anybody else,

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Speaker 2: bring it on.

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Speaker 1: That's who I want to.

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Speaker 2: Perform in a surgery. Are you confident enough to do

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Speaker 2: your a fine.

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Speaker 1: Job exactly exactly? If you are, then come on, hey, lady,

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Speaker 1: it's Terry here dom and I want to take a

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Speaker 1: moment to thank you for choosing to listen to our podcast.

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Speaker 1: We love you for real. I want to give you

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Speaker 1: a chance to learn more about what's important to us,

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Speaker 1: So tell us what you think about this.

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Speaker 2: Imagine a world where you have a chance to get

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Speaker 2: featured on the Cultivating her Space podcast and share your

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Speaker 2: business brand or perspective with millions around the globe. Imagine

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Speaker 2: joining our monthly virtual video check ins where you can

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Speaker 2: connect with like minded black women like you and share

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Speaker 2: your ideas and episode suggestions with Terry and I. Now,

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Speaker 2: I want you to imagine a world where you're in

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Speaker 2: the exclusive Cultivating her Space sanctuary Slack channel, and throughout

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Speaker 2: your day and week, you are conversing with us about

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Speaker 2: what's happening in your life and sharing funny gifts and

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Speaker 2: or personal wins. How does that sound?

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Speaker 1: Hopefully this is of your alley, lady, because we are

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Speaker 1: taking things to the next level of this year and

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Speaker 1: we're doubling down on investing in our community. That means you.

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Speaker 1: We want to meet you, connect with you, and create

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Speaker 1: communities of genuine women who love on black women and

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Speaker 1: push our culture and movement forward. We launched this podcast

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Speaker 1: in twenty nineteen, and to date we have not missed

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Speaker 1: a week. We've been great stewards of our platform, all

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Speaker 1: while working full time and navigating our own ups and downs.

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Speaker 1: We release fresh new content every single Friday like clock work,

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Speaker 1: and we have hundreds of valuable episodes and workshops that

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Speaker 1: can really help you up level your life. So if

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Speaker 1: you love our mission or you've gotten value from us,

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Speaker 1: we invite you to give back and help us push

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Speaker 1: this community effort forward. Visit herspacepodcast dot com and click Patreon.

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Speaker 1: You can learn more about our goals and exclusive offerings

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Speaker 1: on Patreon, and we highly highly encourage you to join

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Speaker 1: the Sister Frontier so that you can get someone on

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Speaker 1: one time with us. We also have an option for

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Speaker 1: you to donate on a one time basis if that

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Speaker 1: meets your needs. Again herspacepodcast dot com and you can

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Speaker 1: click that link that says Patreon. All right, lady will

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Speaker 1: hop right back into the conversation on with you. One

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Speaker 1: hundred percent. And I think there has to be a

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Speaker 1: lot of unlearning as a people, because I have been

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Speaker 1: guilty of judging people based on what they present or

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Speaker 1: how they appear, and I've had to unlearn some of

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Speaker 1: this over time. I was so fascinated when we had

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Speaker 1: a chance to interview King Newar and jet Setting Jasmine,

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Speaker 1: because what fascinated me most dom was the fact that

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Speaker 1: one they are Lady. If you haven't checked out that episode,

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Speaker 1: it may be a little risky for you, I'm not sure,

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Speaker 1: but go check it out. Look at just google Jet

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Speaker 1: Setting Jasmine Cultivating her Space podcast and you'll see the

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Speaker 1: episode come up. But I was so fascinated with them

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Speaker 1: because they are these attractive, brilliant people who are also

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Speaker 1: sex workers and who are also parents. And the fact

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Speaker 1: that jet Setting Jasmine is a sex worker and you

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Speaker 1: can go and you can in a businesswoman and many

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Speaker 1: other things, but she's also a therapist. Yeah exactly. You

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Speaker 1: can go online and see her in the act, but

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Speaker 1: then she also has clients and her mind is just fascinating,

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Speaker 1: and she's brilliant, and she does her job like she

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Speaker 1: is a therapist. She does her thing. And the fact

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Speaker 1: that those that can coexist within one being, I thought

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Speaker 1: was just so amazing because I've never seen it presented

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Speaker 1: in that way, and having a chance to learn more

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Speaker 1: about them and interview them, it was just really eye

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Speaker 1: opening to me. And one of the other things down

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Speaker 1: when it comes to this topic that I think about

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Speaker 1: is as I, you know, am in my early thirties

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Speaker 1: right now, as a mom, as a wife, as a

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Speaker 1: woman of a I guess certain age as they say now,

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Speaker 1: and I'm realizing that there are parts of myself that

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Speaker 1: I am becoming more comfortable with at this age that

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Speaker 1: I haven't been comfortable with over the duration of my life,

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Speaker 1: and I'm just being comfortable with now. But They've always

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Speaker 1: existed within me. And I think about my essence as

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Speaker 1: a person. I've literally been the same person since I

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Speaker 1: was a teenager. Like I've had the same series of thoughts,

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Speaker 1: the same desires, the same sexual ideas. Like this, there

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Speaker 1: are certain things about me that just haven't changed. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I've evolved, Yes I've grown, but like my core has

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Speaker 1: literally not changed. But there are parts of me that

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Speaker 1: I'm sharing now that people didn't know about back then.

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Speaker 1: And so I might post something on social media and

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Speaker 1: I'll get we'll get into this little bit later. I

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Speaker 1: may post something on social media. Let's say it's a

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Speaker 1: first trap, Like I just posted a video today in

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Speaker 1: like a bikini and then I had little you know,

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Speaker 1: I had my little ass out right and I posted that,

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Speaker 1: and so am I to see this and say, oh

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Speaker 1: my gosh, what's happened to her? And it's like boom,

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Speaker 1: this is literally a bit like I had the same

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Speaker 1: energy and vibe as a teenager. I was taking the

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Speaker 1: same pictures. I wasn't posting them nowhere, but this is

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Speaker 1: literally who I like. This is part of who I am,

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Speaker 1: you know, And so it's just interesting to see that

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Speaker 1: what about you dom when you think about your essence

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Speaker 1: and just everything I just shared.

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Speaker 2: So as you were talking about, as you were saying,

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Speaker 2: like being a woman of a certain age and being

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Speaker 2: in your early thirties, what came up for me is

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Speaker 2: that I'm forty, and you know, I have friends that

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Speaker 2: are over forty and friends that are over fifty, and

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Speaker 2: like you know, and family members and just listening to

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Speaker 2: their conversations of how and watching observing how they evolve,

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Speaker 2: and what I noticed is that the culser I got

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Speaker 2: to forty. And now, being in that disclaimer, I'm about

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Speaker 2: to say it. I'm about to use some profanity. So

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Speaker 2: just for all the folks who you know, aren't that comfortable,

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Speaker 2: you might want to fast forward past this part. I

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Speaker 2: have no fucks to give right, like, I am comfortable

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Speaker 2: in my skin in a way that I have never

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Speaker 2: been before. Right that the older I get, the more

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Speaker 2: comfortable I get in my skin, and the more comfortable

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Speaker 2: I get in being who the hell I.

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Speaker 1: Am and.

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Speaker 2: Not caring as much, because I'd I'd be lying if

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Speaker 2: I said I never cared, because we all do. Everybody does, right,

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Speaker 2: but caring a whole lot less about what other people

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Speaker 2: think of me, right, and living my life to please

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Speaker 2: other people, so that people pleasing has decreased so much, right,

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Speaker 2: And so what I'm recognizing is that the older I get,

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Speaker 2: the more I am recognizing that, Yeah, at the core

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Speaker 2: of who I am. Everybody's gonna get this core like

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Speaker 2: that I like, everybody gonna get it. So, whether you

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Speaker 2: are my grandmother or my clients in a therapy session

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Speaker 2: mm hmmm, or my homegirls were just kicking it with

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Speaker 2: a guy that I'm dating, a listener on this podcast,

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Speaker 2: you gonna get the core of who I am like.

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Speaker 2: And obviously there is some natural like adjustments to our

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Speaker 2: environments that we all do, right, but everybody's gonna know

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Speaker 2: the core of who I am like. You can check

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Speaker 2: in with most anybody and what the what they say

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Speaker 2: about me is going to be consistent, and I think

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Speaker 2: that's the important part.

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Speaker 1: I absolutely love that time. I think that might have

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Speaker 1: to be a new slogan on our shirt. Everybody gonna

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Speaker 1: get this core, You're gonna get their wrong deal like

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Speaker 1: this is what it is now.

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Speaker 2: Dom.

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Speaker 1: One of the questions I want to ask you, but

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Speaker 1: also posed to you lady as you're listening, is think

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Speaker 1: about your journey and what your journey has been like

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Speaker 1: accepting all parts of yourself. Now, I will say, in

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Speaker 1: full transparency, I'm still learning to accept certain parts of myself.

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Speaker 1: But when I think about the journey to accepting all

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Speaker 1: parts of myself growing up in church, although I will

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Speaker 1: say that church was such an amazing overall, it was

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Speaker 1: such an amazing developmental period for me. There was so

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Speaker 1: much that I learned about myself and spirituality and yeah,

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Speaker 1: just even religion. There were even though I don't consider

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Speaker 1: myself to be a religious person today, there were just

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Speaker 1: certain practices and things that I learned in church that

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Speaker 1: were so and valuable to me. And with that said,

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Speaker 1: there was also a degree of shame that came along

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Speaker 1: with certain parts of who I am. And I would

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Speaker 1: say that some of the hardest parts for me to

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Speaker 1: accept because of upbringing, because of church, because of stigma,

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Speaker 1: because of judgment, were sexual parts, right, the sexuality, sexual

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Speaker 1: just being a sexual being, sensuality, being silly. I'm a

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Speaker 1: very silly person, but I think that you know, of course,

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Speaker 1: it's a time and place for everything, but being silly,

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Speaker 1: being assertive and you know, communicating what I need, being

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Speaker 1: a boss, being a boss ass bitch like sometimes when

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Speaker 1: you're a boss, people see you as a certain way.

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Speaker 1: And so those are some of the parts of myself

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Speaker 1: that I had trouble accepting. And what I found is

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Speaker 1: that there was a long period, There were many periods

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Speaker 1: in my life where people who may have known me

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Speaker 1: then people may have said that I was fake because

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Speaker 1: I was still discovering who I was and still trying

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Speaker 1: to get comfortable with who I was and trying to

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Speaker 1: figure out where does the real need fit within the

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Speaker 1: context of the world that I am occupying.

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Speaker 2: You know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: And so when I look at my younger self, I

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Speaker 1: can see videos or pictures and I'm like, that wasn't

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Speaker 1: even me, Like I was just I was camouflaging with

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Speaker 1: whatever was in my environment or whatever was acceptable and

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Speaker 1: so now at this age and stage in life, I

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Speaker 1: feel a lot more comfortable expressing my needs, being my

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Speaker 1: true self, having difficult conversations, and like you said, not

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Speaker 1: giving the fuck, like if somebody doesn't like something I

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Speaker 1: say or something that I do, not to say that

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Speaker 1: I'm just out here, just you know, saying whatever, and

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Speaker 1: not being intentional about the way that I'm living. But

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Speaker 1: I am no longer a prisoner of the opinions of

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Speaker 1: other people like I was when I was younger.

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Speaker 2: They did no more time for the people in the bag.

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Speaker 1: So these days, I am no longer a prisoner of

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Speaker 1: the opinions of others like I was before, because that

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Speaker 1: stopped me from being my authentic self.

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Speaker 2: Yes, yes, I love that, because the thing, as you

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Speaker 2: were saying that, what was coming up for me was.

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Speaker 1: It is so.

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Speaker 2: Important to be our authentic selves. Right, But what really

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Speaker 2: within that, what really keeps coming up for me, is

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Speaker 2: this acknowledgment that I am not everybody's cup of tea,

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Speaker 2: and that is okay, yes right, Like I tell my

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Speaker 2: clients all the time, Like I tell my clients, like

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Speaker 2: when I have a new client that like it's okay

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Speaker 2: that if I am not the fit for you, right,

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Speaker 2: And I recognize that that translates in all areas of

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Speaker 2: my life that everybody does not have to like me,

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Speaker 2: and that is okay. The people who like me, that's

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Speaker 2: what Those people will matter. Those are the people that matter.

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Speaker 2: The people who appreciate and respect me for who I am.

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Speaker 2: That those are the people that matter. Those are the

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Speaker 2: people that I'm going to give my energy to.

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Speaker 1: Girl. That's so so powerful, And it also I think

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Speaker 1: takes time and experience to get to that place because

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Speaker 1: I think back when I was younger, I had such

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Speaker 1: a I was like the ultimate good girl, like I

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Speaker 1: even though behind clo closed doors, I wasn't Like I

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Speaker 1: was not that I was out here doing crazy stuff

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Speaker 1: because I was a late bloomer in every sense of

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Speaker 1: the word as far as like sexual experiences that I

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Speaker 1: was consenting to with things of that nature. But I

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Speaker 1: was a church girl, like I was inviting all my

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Speaker 1: friends to church, school, and college like I was. I

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Speaker 1: was born and raised in church, so like I was

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Speaker 1: that good church girl right that Beyonce was talking about

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Speaker 1: her song, like I was that girl. And I also

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Speaker 1: had younger sibling that I had to be a role

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Speaker 1: model too, and so I always felt like I was

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Speaker 1: often robbing myself of being my authentic self because I

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Speaker 1: was always mindful of who's watching, who might say something,

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Speaker 1: Who am I going to upset if I do what

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Speaker 1: I really want to do, And to be honest, it

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Speaker 1: felt like an internal struggle. It felt like an internal

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Speaker 1: battle against who I felt I needed to portray myself

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Speaker 1: as and who I really was and who I wanted

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Speaker 1: to be. And when you when you are not authentic,

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Speaker 1: it's exhausting. It's exhausting, right because I'm like, Okay, my

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Speaker 1: siblings look up to me, I got to act a

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Speaker 1: certain way. I gotta do this. And then it's like

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Speaker 1: my church members are looking at me and they want

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Speaker 1: me to do this, and then I have to be

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Speaker 1: this you know, quiet scene but not heard woman. And

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Speaker 1: it was just exhausting because at the end of the lunch,

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Speaker 1: I'm a bit of a firecracker, like I can't that is,

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Speaker 1: I'm spicy, And now at this age, I feel more

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Speaker 1: comfortable being that spicy woman because I don't have time

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Speaker 1: to be trying to be something I'm not. You know

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Speaker 1: anything about it is that I'm going back to what

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Speaker 1: we said earlier. People who knew you back then. Think

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Speaker 1: you've changed, but it's like, no, books, I haven't changed.

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Speaker 1: I accepted who I am, and I'm coming into myself exactly.

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Speaker 2: Yes, yes, okay, So speaking about coming into ourselves and

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Speaker 2: accepting who we are, part of who we are. We

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Speaker 2: are blatchet, right, we are multifaceted woman women, we are bougie, classy, ratchet.

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Speaker 2: We are all of that, right, and so let's talk

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Speaker 2: about it. Let's let's let's dive in.

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Speaker 1: Let us let's get into it. So, lady, we're going

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Speaker 1: to ask each other some oh you blatch your questions.

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Speaker 1: But really quick, don before we get into that, can

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Speaker 1: we talk about the cussing because.

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Speaker 2: Here, because that's a multifaceted woman.

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Speaker 1: Let's do it. That's a multivestablemen. Okay, ladies, So really quick.

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Speaker 1: We have gotten some feedback and we've had some conversations

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Speaker 1: behind the scenes because of the feedback. So we've had

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Speaker 1: a few reviews from the podcast, and some of the

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Speaker 1: reviews on the podcast have said, I love the podcast,

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Speaker 1: but the profanity is offensive or I can't even get

434
00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:19,240
Speaker 1: through an episode because of the cussing. And so here's

435
00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:21,800
Speaker 1: the thing, Dom and I both and do feel free

436
00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:25,040
Speaker 1: to correct me if I'm wrong. In our personal lives

437
00:26:25,119 --> 00:26:27,560
Speaker 1: and the brands that we have outside of this podcast,

438
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:30,800
Speaker 1: like us as individuals have pretty much had very clean

439
00:26:31,359 --> 00:26:34,720
Speaker 1: professional images because of the work that we do. And

440
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:38,240
Speaker 1: so when we came together for our very first episode,

441
00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:40,440
Speaker 1: we discussed this and we were like, okay. One of

442
00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:42,479
Speaker 1: the questions we asked ourselves was, Yo, do we want

443
00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:44,080
Speaker 1: to cuss on this podcast or are we going to

444
00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:48,440
Speaker 1: keep it clean? And because we cuss in real life

445
00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:49,760
Speaker 1: and this is a part of who we are as

446
00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:52,080
Speaker 1: women behind closed doors, we wanted to create a space

447
00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:55,080
Speaker 1: where we could be authentic, where we could be real

448
00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:57,399
Speaker 1: and have conversations that we have with our girlfriends. And

449
00:26:57,440 --> 00:27:00,719
Speaker 1: we be cussing and we be getting ratchet. Okay, so

450
00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:05,480
Speaker 1: you will. I'm just saying for you, I love that

451
00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:08,440
Speaker 1: you cuss with your clients because it's authentic and it's real.

452
00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:10,119
Speaker 1: And the thing is, going back to what Dom said,

453
00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:12,760
Speaker 1: this may not be everyone's cup of tea, and if

454
00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:15,439
Speaker 1: that's the case, it's okay, we still love you. But

455
00:27:15,840 --> 00:27:19,560
Speaker 1: we were very intentional about holding space on this podcast

456
00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:23,080
Speaker 1: to cuss and to have those conversations because this is like,

457
00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:25,439
Speaker 1: this is this is what we do with our girlfriends.

458
00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:27,679
Speaker 1: And the other thing I wanted to say about cussing

459
00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:32,320
Speaker 1: is that I don't want you to miss out on

460
00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:36,320
Speaker 1: a powerful message because you're so consumed with how the

461
00:27:36,359 --> 00:27:39,800
Speaker 1: packaging is and how the messenger has chosen to say it.

462
00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:42,639
Speaker 1: There are some people out there that are evil, that

463
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:46,440
Speaker 1: are out there doing Satan's work, okay, but sometimes they

464
00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:50,399
Speaker 1: may have a message that resonates or that could that

465
00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:52,640
Speaker 1: could provide you with a breakthrough. And not to say

466
00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:55,720
Speaker 1: that we're those that evil person, but sometimes you can't

467
00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:57,600
Speaker 1: get caught up in the messenger, but you really have

468
00:27:57,640 --> 00:28:00,719
Speaker 1: to take in the message. And so this podcast, we

469
00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:03,239
Speaker 1: will continue to cuss. We don't do it. I mean

470
00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:05,119
Speaker 1: it's not willing Nillley. We don't do it all throughout

471
00:28:05,119 --> 00:28:09,440
Speaker 1: the episode. I mean some episodes, but we don't do it. Yeah,

472
00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:11,280
Speaker 1: in a way that I don't know, distasteful what is

473
00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:12,359
Speaker 1: the word I'm looking for, don.

474
00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:16,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not distasteful, Like I think there are some

475
00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:22,440
Speaker 2: podcasts that we have both listened to where profanity might

476
00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:26,280
Speaker 2: be every other word right or in every sentence, and

477
00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:27,360
Speaker 2: that's not us.

478
00:28:28,359 --> 00:28:29,000
Speaker 1: And so.

479
00:28:30,359 --> 00:28:39,120
Speaker 2: Like for me, the barometer is, would I let my

480
00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:46,080
Speaker 2: ninety year old grandmother listen to this? Probably not, and

481
00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:52,000
Speaker 2: not because not because of the profanity, all right. I

482
00:28:52,080 --> 00:28:54,120
Speaker 2: just think that there are some topics that she might

483
00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:59,520
Speaker 2: not be comfortable hearing me talk about. And I would

484
00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:02,080
Speaker 2: assume that most of us feel that way about our grandmothers.

485
00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:04,240
Speaker 2: There's just some things that we don't want our grandma.

486
00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:09,400
Speaker 2: How are you, my Barama Old people and children? Right,

487
00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:13,400
Speaker 2: I don't want my ninety year old grandmother. I don't

488
00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:15,680
Speaker 2: know if she necessarily needs to listen to every episode. Now,

489
00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:17,880
Speaker 2: there might be some episodes that I think would be good, right,

490
00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:25,320
Speaker 2: but not every episode. My seven year old niece, Nah,

491
00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:27,680
Speaker 2: she ain't listening to none of this. She's way too

492
00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:33,440
Speaker 2: young for this. But if you are eighteen and older,

493
00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:37,800
Speaker 2: I think that you could be in a space to

494
00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:42,880
Speaker 2: receive these messages that we are putting out. But again,

495
00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:48,840
Speaker 2: we are not everybody's cup of tea. And we do

496
00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:54,600
Speaker 2: have that explicit parental advisory label on our podcast.

497
00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:59,240
Speaker 1: Yes, so we did make it explicit intentionally so that

498
00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:02,120
Speaker 1: you could be aware, because it would be inauthentic of

499
00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:05,120
Speaker 1: us to not say how we what we really want

500
00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:07,000
Speaker 1: to say? You know what I mean? And so there

501
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:09,560
Speaker 1: are other places that you can engage with us where

502
00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:11,280
Speaker 1: we don't because in doing all that, but we just

503
00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:13,320
Speaker 1: want to hold space to let you know like we're

504
00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:15,680
Speaker 1: not going to change that at this point. We hope

505
00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:17,360
Speaker 1: that you still decide to tune in, and if not,

506
00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:19,800
Speaker 1: we totally understand. We still love you and it will

507
00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:23,560
Speaker 1: still be here. So shall we dive into these questions?

508
00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:29,160
Speaker 1: Don let's do it? Okay? So the first question is

509
00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:33,760
Speaker 1: what's the boogiest thing about you? That's a hard ask

510
00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:37,520
Speaker 1: question because I knew I knew, I mean that here's

511
00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:39,600
Speaker 1: the real part, Like I knew were about that. I

512
00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:44,080
Speaker 1: saw these questions ahead of time already. And you want

513
00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:46,120
Speaker 1: me to go, I'll go. I'll just say that.

514
00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:51,960
Speaker 2: And what I'll say is that people who know me

515
00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:55,880
Speaker 2: know that in general, I am pretty bougie. So I

516
00:30:55,920 --> 00:31:00,800
Speaker 2: don't know if there's like I can't pimp point one

517
00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:04,720
Speaker 2: thing in particular that's like the bougiest thing about me,

518
00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:07,520
Speaker 2: because there are a lot of things about me that

519
00:31:07,560 --> 00:31:08,320
Speaker 2: are bougie.

520
00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:11,920
Speaker 1: So yeah, what what's one? Okay? I was gonna say,

521
00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:14,240
Speaker 1: what if I go, and then I may make you

522
00:31:14,280 --> 00:31:16,080
Speaker 1: think of an idea because I have two to come

523
00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:18,760
Speaker 1: to mind. When I was younger, right, I would go

524
00:31:19,400 --> 00:31:21,280
Speaker 1: travel around and I would go like, I would stay

525
00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:22,960
Speaker 1: at Roch motels because I was like, I got to

526
00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:26,200
Speaker 1: save money by anything is necessary. Nowadays it got to

527
00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:28,760
Speaker 1: be top notch, Like I gotta say somewhere nice. I'm

528
00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:30,360
Speaker 1: not staying in no place where I get up and

529
00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:32,560
Speaker 1: I'm like, yo, do I have bedbugs on me? Now

530
00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:34,720
Speaker 1: because I've been there. I done stayed in some roch

531
00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:37,680
Speaker 1: motels when traveling, and now my standards are high. But

532
00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:40,960
Speaker 1: the next one, y'all is that when I go to concerts,

533
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:42,680
Speaker 1: like there are certains like I will not go to

534
00:31:42,720 --> 00:31:45,320
Speaker 1: a concert unless I have really great seats or it's a

535
00:31:45,400 --> 00:31:47,760
Speaker 1: VIP experience. I'm at that stage now where I'm like,

536
00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:50,960
Speaker 1: if I can't meet the person and I can't be

537
00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:54,160
Speaker 1: super closed, I need I need to be I need

538
00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:56,400
Speaker 1: to be in VIP like I That's that's my bougie

539
00:31:56,440 --> 00:31:58,120
Speaker 1: thing right now in this stage in my life. It

540
00:31:58,120 --> 00:32:01,200
Speaker 1: wasn't always that way. I used to go powerhouse in

541
00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:03,360
Speaker 1: the day, I used to be sitting up with Jesus.

542
00:32:03,360 --> 00:32:07,080
Speaker 1: But now, yeah, thats to be close.

543
00:32:08,280 --> 00:32:11,440
Speaker 2: Okay, yes, so that did that did make me think

544
00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:14,160
Speaker 2: about I don't know if this is necessarily a bougie

545
00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:16,960
Speaker 2: thing that I do, But I I hotels. I'm similar

546
00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:19,320
Speaker 2: to you in that in regards to hotels that like,

547
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:21,560
Speaker 2: it's got to be high.

548
00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:24,960
Speaker 1: If it's three.

549
00:32:24,720 --> 00:32:27,720
Speaker 2: Stars, I'm still a little I'm feeling three stars feels

550
00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:29,920
Speaker 2: more roach motel to me, Like that's the level that

551
00:32:29,960 --> 00:32:34,720
Speaker 2: I'm at in terms of my bougieness, right and what

552
00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:38,640
Speaker 2: I do. I don't even trust the highest end in hotels.

553
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:42,240
Speaker 2: I still I think probably the bougiest thing that I do,

554
00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:43,800
Speaker 2: and I don't. Again, I don't know if this is

555
00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:49,200
Speaker 2: necessarily bougie. But I have a sleeping bag insert that

556
00:32:49,360 --> 00:32:52,080
Speaker 2: I bring when I travel that I don't even care

557
00:32:52,160 --> 00:32:55,280
Speaker 2: how high end the hotel is. I am sliding that

558
00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:58,560
Speaker 2: sleeping bag insert in them sheets because I ain't sleeping

559
00:32:58,600 --> 00:33:01,880
Speaker 2: on nobody. She but butt that sleeping bag.

560
00:33:01,920 --> 00:33:03,000
Speaker 1: Insert.

561
00:33:03,320 --> 00:33:05,640
Speaker 2: Wait, that's how I travel these days.

562
00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:07,760
Speaker 1: I may have to add it to my list. When

563
00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:09,880
Speaker 1: you say sleeping bag insert, how does that work? So

564
00:33:09,920 --> 00:33:12,800
Speaker 1: you what is your process? Like? You go to the hotel,

565
00:33:12,880 --> 00:33:13,600
Speaker 1: you put.

566
00:33:13,360 --> 00:33:18,280
Speaker 2: The the sleeping bag, I pull the sheets back, we'll

567
00:33:18,320 --> 00:33:21,120
Speaker 2: look come for that top layer back, okay, and put

568
00:33:21,160 --> 00:33:24,239
Speaker 2: the sleeping bag insert in and so it's like my

569
00:33:24,320 --> 00:33:28,040
Speaker 2: own little cocoon, so my body never has to touch

570
00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:30,480
Speaker 2: the hotel sheets at all.

571
00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:33,479
Speaker 1: Really okay, so you sleep inside the insert, but then

572
00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:35,640
Speaker 1: you put the hotel covers over top of the sleeping

573
00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:42,080
Speaker 1: bag when you're then okay, I'm sad because girl, don't

574
00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:44,280
Speaker 1: you get one of those? Yeah, yeah, we know some

575
00:33:45,800 --> 00:33:48,320
Speaker 1: thank you girl. We have to put it in the

576
00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:52,280
Speaker 1: show notes as well. Now the second question is what's

577
00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:55,040
Speaker 1: the classiest thing about you? And again I have my

578
00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:57,000
Speaker 1: answer prepared, just putting it out there in case you

579
00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:59,080
Speaker 1: need to. Yeah, I need a second, you know I

580
00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:02,000
Speaker 1: need a second. Okay, And I'm thinking of these on

581
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:04,480
Speaker 1: the fly too, down, so no judgment. The classiest thing

582
00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:07,720
Speaker 1: I would say is I'm a bit of a neat freak.

583
00:34:07,840 --> 00:34:07,959
Speaker 2: Right.

584
00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:09,600
Speaker 1: I was a girl scout when I was younger, and

585
00:34:09,640 --> 00:34:12,960
Speaker 1: one of the golden rules that we learned was always

586
00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:16,440
Speaker 1: leave a place that you're occupying cleaner than you found it.

587
00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:20,200
Speaker 1: And so I'm the person where I think this is classy.

588
00:34:20,239 --> 00:34:22,640
Speaker 1: But if I'm out somewhere like, I will clean up

589
00:34:22,680 --> 00:34:25,600
Speaker 1: like I just clean up. So if it's a hotel,

590
00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:28,520
Speaker 1: the room is actually you'd be surprised how clean the

591
00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:32,000
Speaker 1: hotel room is when I'm leaving. Also, whenever I move

592
00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:34,560
Speaker 1: out of an apartment, my mom used to always tell

593
00:34:34,600 --> 00:34:36,759
Speaker 1: us this, We used to clean that apartment like we

594
00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:38,560
Speaker 1: were about to move back into it, Like the apartment

595
00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:41,160
Speaker 1: is clean. I mean, we're mopping the floors, we're cleaning,

596
00:34:41,239 --> 00:34:43,960
Speaker 1: like for what. But it was just it was just

597
00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:45,879
Speaker 1: something I was taught growing up. So that's my thing.

598
00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:49,279
Speaker 1: Like if I leave a space, usually it'll be better

599
00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:54,400
Speaker 1: than I found it bad. And yeah, you came.

600
00:34:56,040 --> 00:34:57,680
Speaker 2: Girl. I was like, girl, you ain't got to do

601
00:34:57,719 --> 00:34:57,960
Speaker 2: all that.

602
00:34:58,120 --> 00:34:59,120
Speaker 1: And you was in there.

603
00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:00,480
Speaker 2: Trying and I was like, girl, you got to do

604
00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:02,320
Speaker 2: all that. You was trying to clean the whole bathroom

605
00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:04,520
Speaker 2: and I was like, girl, no, you ain't.

606
00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:07,360
Speaker 1: Got to do all that. But yeah, I like that.

607
00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:08,560
Speaker 1: I like that.

608
00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:11,879
Speaker 2: Oh okay, And you would have thought that I had

609
00:35:11,920 --> 00:35:14,319
Speaker 2: time to think about my answer about what's the classiest

610
00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:24,560
Speaker 2: thing about me? Huh, the classiest thing about me? I

611
00:35:24,560 --> 00:35:29,919
Speaker 2: pride myself on still generally having manners, and so I'm

612
00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:34,600
Speaker 2: that person that I if I'm when we're communicating, like

613
00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:37,839
Speaker 2: at the start of the day, like or even no

614
00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:40,920
Speaker 2: matter what time it is, when we initiate communication. I

615
00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:45,960
Speaker 2: am still that person that like good morning, like hi,

616
00:35:46,840 --> 00:35:50,879
Speaker 2: Like I don't just jump right in to the conversation.

617
00:35:51,160 --> 00:35:54,600
Speaker 2: It's like I'm still gonna initiate a greeting.

618
00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:58,600
Speaker 1: That is a that's like a lost art art form.

619
00:35:58,640 --> 00:36:00,839
Speaker 1: I feel like with the younger folks, no judgment if

620
00:36:00,880 --> 00:36:03,200
Speaker 1: you're younger, but I feel like sometimes my siblings have

621
00:36:03,360 --> 00:36:05,120
Speaker 1: like we ain't talking a minute, and I'll be getting

622
00:36:05,160 --> 00:36:07,520
Speaker 1: text like did you ever get that thing? Or what

623
00:36:07,560 --> 00:36:09,720
Speaker 1: do you think about this? And I'm like, well, hello

624
00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:13,800
Speaker 1: to you too. You are definitely I'm definitely, I definitely

625
00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:15,840
Speaker 1: be feel the little old school, but I'm with you. Please,

626
00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:18,839
Speaker 1: thank you. Have you ever been somewhere and someone's like, oh,

627
00:36:19,040 --> 00:36:20,759
Speaker 1: where are you from? You're not from around here? Because

628
00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:23,239
Speaker 1: I said please and thank you, I'm like, dog, that's

629
00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:29,959
Speaker 1: just manner comment courtesy. But okay, exactly, Okay, okay, dom

630
00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:33,080
Speaker 1: get ready for this next one. Gotta do a little

631
00:36:33,160 --> 00:36:40,680
Speaker 1: row with this one. Okay. People would be surprised to

632
00:36:40,880 --> 00:36:44,800
Speaker 1: know that the Ratchetest were making no words the Ratchetest

633
00:36:44,840 --> 00:36:46,240
Speaker 1: thing about me is.

634
00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:50,440
Speaker 2: Okay, so there are a couple of things that came up,

635
00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:55,200
Speaker 2: so I don't think this is I don't define this

636
00:36:55,239 --> 00:37:02,480
Speaker 2: as ratchet for myself personally, right, but I know society

637
00:37:02,600 --> 00:37:08,319
Speaker 2: may define this as ratchet. I used to take pole

638
00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:14,359
Speaker 2: dancing classes, and I at the studio that I went to.

639
00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:18,240
Speaker 2: I went to that studio for like over two years

640
00:37:18,239 --> 00:37:21,200
Speaker 2: maybe yeah, I think it was about two years. Yes,

641
00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:25,520
Speaker 2: of taking pole dancing classes. Yes, yes, So that's one

642
00:37:25,640 --> 00:37:29,600
Speaker 2: ratchet thing that people might be surprised to know. And

643
00:37:29,640 --> 00:37:34,399
Speaker 2: then the second thing is that I'm that person who

644
00:37:34,840 --> 00:37:39,759
Speaker 2: is when I'm in my car, I like a lot

645
00:37:39,760 --> 00:37:44,520
Speaker 2: of bass, and I like to roll up like when

646
00:37:44,560 --> 00:37:45,279
Speaker 2: I'm trying.

647
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:45,640
Speaker 1: To get hyped.

648
00:37:46,120 --> 00:37:48,840
Speaker 2: I like to roll up where the basis like my

649
00:37:49,560 --> 00:37:52,640
Speaker 2: rear view mirror is vibrating, like I need that much

650
00:37:52,719 --> 00:37:56,279
Speaker 2: base and it needs to be some I might roll

651
00:37:56,360 --> 00:37:58,640
Speaker 2: up to work in the morning with some like I

652
00:37:58,640 --> 00:38:02,360
Speaker 2: didn't listen to, some like back that Ass Up, or

653
00:38:02,480 --> 00:38:06,080
Speaker 2: like something like Savage Remix, like I listened to I've

654
00:38:06,120 --> 00:38:10,799
Speaker 2: listened to something that if you heard me, if you

655
00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:12,880
Speaker 2: saw the car pull up, you might be surprised that

656
00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:13,839
Speaker 2: it was me in the car.

657
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:17,279
Speaker 1: I love that. I love that you picked too. I

658
00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:20,160
Speaker 1: would say, oh, we get in two, and I would

659
00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:23,560
Speaker 1: have a follow up question about the pole dancing. But

660
00:38:23,680 --> 00:38:25,120
Speaker 1: I'm gonna save that for the after show, So let

661
00:38:25,120 --> 00:38:26,279
Speaker 1: me go ahead and write that down so I don't

662
00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:30,840
Speaker 1: forget follow up with them about pole dancing. It's a

663
00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:33,000
Speaker 1: real juicy question. Now, I'm gonna just stay it for

664
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:35,399
Speaker 1: they say it to the end for the after show.

665
00:38:36,040 --> 00:38:37,480
Speaker 1: All right down, get ready for mine. I don't know

666
00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:39,800
Speaker 1: if I've ever told you this, but my first one,

667
00:38:40,360 --> 00:38:42,960
Speaker 1: let me do the less RISKU one first. So the

668
00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:46,880
Speaker 1: first one is in the club. I'll be busting it

669
00:38:46,920 --> 00:38:49,520
Speaker 1: open like I love the twerk and just go in.

670
00:38:50,200 --> 00:38:52,880
Speaker 1: When I'm in the club, and I remember years ago,

671
00:38:53,280 --> 00:38:56,560
Speaker 1: you can see years ago, I went out with my

672
00:38:56,640 --> 00:39:01,840
Speaker 1: older sister's friends back in college and we were drinking.

673
00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:04,600
Speaker 1: We had a really good time, and they told her.

674
00:39:04,800 --> 00:39:07,120
Speaker 1: They were like, yeah, yeah, and I'm pretty petite, Like

675
00:39:07,160 --> 00:39:09,759
Speaker 1: I'm pretty small, not little ass, but I'm pretty petite.

676
00:39:09,880 --> 00:39:12,600
Speaker 1: And she said her friends told her they were like, yeah,

677
00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:14,960
Speaker 1: your sister was in the club dancing like she had

678
00:39:14,960 --> 00:39:17,520
Speaker 1: a big old booty. And I'm like what you mean, Like,

679
00:39:17,520 --> 00:39:21,920
Speaker 1: don't be hate bunny, I'm so small. I'm just so small.

680
00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:23,839
Speaker 1: They were like, you ain't her dancing like you like

681
00:39:23,840 --> 00:39:25,560
Speaker 1: you big booty Judy, So I thought that was kind

682
00:39:25,560 --> 00:39:28,200
Speaker 1: of funny. But yeah, so that's the first one. The

683
00:39:28,280 --> 00:39:37,239
Speaker 1: second one, DOM is that I love I love to

684
00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:42,040
Speaker 1: take nudes and like really sexy pictures and I feel

685
00:39:42,080 --> 00:39:47,320
Speaker 1: like it's like artwork. I have so many in my phone. Okay,

686
00:39:48,200 --> 00:39:50,600
Speaker 1: if I were to ever get pleased, God, don't test me.

687
00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:53,280
Speaker 1: But if I were ever to get hacked, I probably

688
00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:56,319
Speaker 1: wouldn't even be I'd probably be a little mortified. But

689
00:39:56,360 --> 00:39:59,120
Speaker 1: they looked so good that I'd be like, all right,

690
00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:04,399
Speaker 1: you know but I okay, yeah, but that's like, yeah,

691
00:40:04,440 --> 00:40:10,720
Speaker 1: that's my thing, so don't hack me out, Lord have mercy.

692
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:15,120
Speaker 1: So yeah, that's it. We have two listeners submitted questions.

693
00:40:14,719 --> 00:40:17,960
Speaker 2: Don yes, yes, And I would like to say before

694
00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:20,839
Speaker 2: we even get to our listener submitted questions that I

695
00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:27,040
Speaker 2: feel like, as we continue this conversation about being multi faceted,

696
00:40:27,440 --> 00:40:29,880
Speaker 2: that the things that we share that like would be

697
00:40:29,960 --> 00:40:34,200
Speaker 2: considered that are considered ratchet don't even feel.

698
00:40:35,760 --> 00:40:37,279
Speaker 1: Quote unquote ratchet to me.

699
00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:42,080
Speaker 2: So I love how we are evolving that ratchet is

700
00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:45,239
Speaker 2: like the things that we're considering ratchet really are just

701
00:40:45,360 --> 00:40:48,880
Speaker 2: part of who we are, not necessarily something to be

702
00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:51,080
Speaker 2: stigmatized exactly.

703
00:40:51,680 --> 00:40:54,239
Speaker 1: Yes, I love that. I love that for us, and

704
00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:56,759
Speaker 1: down real quick before we dive into listener questions, just

705
00:40:56,800 --> 00:40:59,160
Speaker 1: for context, Like some people this may be their first

706
00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:01,279
Speaker 1: time listening, so they may not have contents on like

707
00:41:01,320 --> 00:41:03,440
Speaker 1: who we are. I think we may say something in

708
00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:07,279
Speaker 1: the intro, but like Dom is a whole psychologist and

709
00:41:07,440 --> 00:41:13,080
Speaker 1: therapist out here, okay, whole PhD conference speaker, like out

710
00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:17,000
Speaker 1: out here, and we're having this conversation right like, yeah,

711
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:20,040
Speaker 1: I work in tech and I'm a technical bit of

712
00:41:20,080 --> 00:41:27,880
Speaker 1: a nerd somebody and somebody's wife, girl wife, and yes,

713
00:41:28,680 --> 00:41:30,600
Speaker 1: and just for the record, my husband definitely has an

714
00:41:30,680 --> 00:41:33,000
Speaker 1: archive of a lot of these pictures. I love to

715
00:41:33,040 --> 00:41:39,440
Speaker 1: take you figured as much. So yet without saying basically basically, so, yeah, y'all.

716
00:41:39,239 --> 00:41:41,160
Speaker 2: That's the only the one that don't need to be hacked.

717
00:41:41,920 --> 00:41:45,319
Speaker 1: That's the point right there. Don't hack it soon? Yes, yes,

718
00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:51,640
Speaker 1: And now on to our listeners submitted questions. We'll we're

719
00:41:51,680 --> 00:41:52,200
Speaker 1: working with.

720
00:41:52,120 --> 00:41:56,160
Speaker 2: Don all right, So the first one is a sentence completion.

721
00:41:57,400 --> 00:42:00,840
Speaker 2: Oh no, not quite, not quite a sentence completion, but

722
00:42:01,880 --> 00:42:09,240
Speaker 2: name three things a black woman absolutely cannot live without.

723
00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:13,080
Speaker 1: You want to go first, I'm ready, girl, go ahead.

724
00:42:14,560 --> 00:42:17,680
Speaker 1: I'm gonna put two on one moisturizer and sunscreen because

725
00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:19,040
Speaker 1: we at that age, I'm trying to take care of

726
00:42:19,040 --> 00:42:21,560
Speaker 1: the skin the best way I can. Moisturizer and sunscreen.

727
00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:26,160
Speaker 1: I cannot go anywhere without my lip gloss or lip bomb,

728
00:42:26,239 --> 00:42:28,520
Speaker 1: Like I am so particular about my lips just being

729
00:42:28,560 --> 00:42:31,680
Speaker 1: moisturized and not being dry and cracked or having white

730
00:42:31,680 --> 00:42:33,440
Speaker 1: stuff on the side of your lip. I just I can't.

731
00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:36,440
Speaker 1: And then number three is gum or mints. That was

732
00:42:36,480 --> 00:42:38,799
Speaker 1: a couple more. But like I am very mindful of

733
00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:41,239
Speaker 1: like my breath and how my breath smells, especially when

734
00:42:41,239 --> 00:42:43,360
Speaker 1: I'm close to people. I just remember we used to

735
00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:45,399
Speaker 1: record together and I'd be like popping mints and said,

736
00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:48,000
Speaker 1: I just don't want to be like having funky breath

737
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:50,279
Speaker 1: speaking to you, like on your face. So that's those

738
00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:50,960
Speaker 1: are my three.

739
00:42:51,040 --> 00:42:55,120
Speaker 2: What about you, dom, Okay, So if I'm gonna think

740
00:42:55,160 --> 00:43:01,880
Speaker 2: of things that are like specific that might be specific

741
00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:08,160
Speaker 2: to black women, okay, I'm with you on the moisturizer

742
00:43:08,719 --> 00:43:11,440
Speaker 2: like in all forms, right, So I'm gonna just be

743
00:43:11,560 --> 00:43:16,799
Speaker 2: it's a general moisturizations in this situation. That's whether it

744
00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:21,839
Speaker 2: is moisturizer for my hair, for my face, for the

745
00:43:21,840 --> 00:43:25,560
Speaker 2: rest of my skin, for my lips, like we got

746
00:43:25,560 --> 00:43:32,960
Speaker 2: to moisturize, moisturize, that's number one. Number two would probably

747
00:43:33,120 --> 00:43:41,439
Speaker 2: be some music, something to listen to music, right, like, yeah,

748
00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:46,640
Speaker 2: I can. I like silence, like I actually do need silence,

749
00:43:47,360 --> 00:43:50,879
Speaker 2: but I need music too, Like there are moments where

750
00:43:50,880 --> 00:43:53,920
Speaker 2: I'm like, I just need the music to like uplift, inspire,

751
00:43:54,080 --> 00:43:56,480
Speaker 2: you know, motivate, shake my ass, whatever the feeling is

752
00:43:56,480 --> 00:44:03,719
Speaker 2: in the moment, you know. And then number three.

753
00:44:02,960 --> 00:44:07,640
Speaker 1: Access to good food. Okay, really good.

754
00:44:08,320 --> 00:44:10,319
Speaker 2: I'm just coming at the time of this record, and

755
00:44:10,320 --> 00:44:13,040
Speaker 2: I'm just coming off of an immersion trip to the

756
00:44:13,080 --> 00:44:17,560
Speaker 2: South where I was eating all the mac of cheese

757
00:44:17,840 --> 00:44:22,920
Speaker 2: and cried catfish and drinking the sweetest of the sweet

758
00:44:22,960 --> 00:44:27,239
Speaker 2: team And I don't necessarily get that in California, so

759
00:44:27,640 --> 00:44:31,479
Speaker 2: and California has its own good stuff, but the South

760
00:44:31,680 --> 00:44:32,160
Speaker 2: is different.

761
00:44:32,560 --> 00:44:33,640
Speaker 1: Yeah.

762
00:44:32,840 --> 00:44:39,480
Speaker 2: So my three things just to recap moisturization, good music,

763
00:44:40,400 --> 00:44:41,720
Speaker 2: and access to good food.

764
00:44:43,239 --> 00:44:50,480
Speaker 1: Those were phenomenal, dime, I love them all, perfect, okay.

765
00:44:50,160 --> 00:44:54,600
Speaker 2: All right, And so then our next one, what are

766
00:44:55,040 --> 00:44:59,120
Speaker 2: your favorite words of wisdom or affirmations?

767
00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:04,000
Speaker 1: Do you have yours down?

768
00:45:05,640 --> 00:45:10,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, I mean, lady, this is your first time

769
00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:14,320
Speaker 2: listening to the podcast, then get familiar with these phrases

770
00:45:14,360 --> 00:45:19,719
Speaker 2: because you will hear them on multiple episodes. So I have, yeah, multiple.

771
00:45:20,560 --> 00:45:28,359
Speaker 2: So Number one, trust the process. Things always work out

772
00:45:29,560 --> 00:45:36,799
Speaker 2: better than we intended them to. Number two, closed mouths,

773
00:45:37,280 --> 00:45:42,879
Speaker 2: don't get fed. You have to ask for what you need.

774
00:45:44,920 --> 00:45:52,239
Speaker 2: And then the third one, I am enough. Oh and

775
00:45:52,280 --> 00:45:54,279
Speaker 2: then the fourth one. Sorry, just another one just came

776
00:45:54,320 --> 00:45:56,240
Speaker 2: to me. Apparently I have a lot of words of

777
00:45:56,680 --> 00:46:02,279
Speaker 2: words of wisdom. No is a complete sentence and that's

778
00:46:02,320 --> 00:46:03,640
Speaker 2: all period, all right.

779
00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:06,480
Speaker 1: I love those. Those were amazing. They put those in

780
00:46:06,520 --> 00:46:09,920
Speaker 1: the show notes. I would say that my top favorite

781
00:46:09,920 --> 00:46:14,719
Speaker 1: words of wisdom and affirmations. The first one is everything

782
00:46:14,760 --> 00:46:19,680
Speaker 1: you need is already within classic right. The next one

783
00:46:19,760 --> 00:46:24,520
Speaker 1: is everything is working out for your good. And the

784
00:46:24,560 --> 00:46:26,080
Speaker 1: third one is a quote, but you're gonna have to

785
00:46:26,080 --> 00:46:28,759
Speaker 1: google this person's name because I always butcher it. The

786
00:46:28,880 --> 00:46:32,120
Speaker 1: quote is the Creator did not give you a longing

787
00:46:32,160 --> 00:46:35,000
Speaker 1: to do that which you have no ability to do.

788
00:46:36,080 --> 00:46:36,279
Speaker 2: Oh.

789
00:46:37,280 --> 00:46:39,640
Speaker 1: I love that so much, because if the desire is

790
00:46:39,680 --> 00:46:42,880
Speaker 1: within you, then God is going to provide the means

791
00:46:43,320 --> 00:46:45,080
Speaker 1: and you're gonna be all right. But if the desire

792
00:46:45,160 --> 00:46:54,880
Speaker 1: is there, take the leap so the net can appear. Okay, okay, reactions.

793
00:46:54,440 --> 00:47:00,480
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, all right, So any other.

794
00:47:02,200 --> 00:47:05,160
Speaker 1: Oh you blatch it? Questions, Oh do you have some?

795
00:47:06,160 --> 00:47:09,640
Speaker 2: And we think the listeners need to know.

796
00:47:10,440 --> 00:47:12,719
Speaker 1: Did you do you have some? In the cannon? Don?

797
00:47:13,239 --> 00:47:15,560
Speaker 1: Do you have some cure? I do?

798
00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:20,800
Speaker 2: I feel like we may have asked this question before. Okay,

799
00:47:23,080 --> 00:47:25,640
Speaker 2: what is the thing that you love most about yourself?

800
00:47:25,760 --> 00:47:28,040
Speaker 2: So I know that's a question that we ask our guests,

801
00:47:28,120 --> 00:47:32,160
Speaker 2: But what is the thing that you love most about yourself?

802
00:47:32,680 --> 00:47:36,520
Speaker 1: M I feel like there are quite a few things.

803
00:47:36,560 --> 00:47:39,759
Speaker 1: A lady, I will say, there have been times in

804
00:47:39,840 --> 00:47:42,640
Speaker 1: life where there was not much or nothing, And so

805
00:47:43,520 --> 00:47:46,080
Speaker 1: as we talk about ourselves and bragging ourselves and love

806
00:47:46,080 --> 00:47:48,440
Speaker 1: on ourselves, know that it's okay and you should feel

807
00:47:48,440 --> 00:47:51,480
Speaker 1: comfortable doing the same about yourself. I would say, Don

808
00:47:51,600 --> 00:47:56,000
Speaker 1: that the first thing is probably my resilience, Like, no

809
00:47:56,040 --> 00:47:59,080
Speaker 1: matter what happens, if I am breathing, I'm gonna find

810
00:47:59,080 --> 00:48:01,320
Speaker 1: a way. God's going help me. We're gonna make away.

811
00:48:01,360 --> 00:48:04,760
Speaker 1: Like I am resilient. So I love that about myself.

812
00:48:05,320 --> 00:48:08,840
Speaker 1: I would say I also love my ability to see

813
00:48:08,880 --> 00:48:12,920
Speaker 1: myself like I am really reflective and self aware, and

814
00:48:12,960 --> 00:48:16,040
Speaker 1: so I can see my own toxicity. It's really sad

815
00:48:16,080 --> 00:48:18,800
Speaker 1: because some people can't even see it, like you can't.

816
00:48:19,120 --> 00:48:21,319
Speaker 1: You can't see what's what you're doing wrong. And I

817
00:48:21,360 --> 00:48:22,880
Speaker 1: love that I can see it so that I can

818
00:48:22,920 --> 00:48:25,480
Speaker 1: improve it, because that's the first step, right, is accepting

819
00:48:25,480 --> 00:48:28,880
Speaker 1: the fact that I may not have the answers, but

820
00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:31,200
Speaker 1: some shit over here I'm doing ain't right. And so

821
00:48:31,360 --> 00:48:35,080
Speaker 1: I know that I can acknowledge that. I'm gonna pause

822
00:48:35,080 --> 00:48:36,279
Speaker 1: there because I feel like I can go on a

823
00:48:36,320 --> 00:48:39,799
Speaker 1: whole love fest about myself right now. But that's why

824
00:48:39,840 --> 00:48:41,560
Speaker 1: I'm gonna pause. What about you, don What do you

825
00:48:41,560 --> 00:48:42,640
Speaker 1: love most about yourself?

826
00:48:44,160 --> 00:48:47,560
Speaker 2: So I think there's a lot that I love about myself,

827
00:48:47,800 --> 00:48:52,440
Speaker 2: you know, And it feels good to be in that space,

828
00:48:52,560 --> 00:48:55,520
Speaker 2: like you said, of like where I am just loving

829
00:48:55,719 --> 00:48:59,520
Speaker 2: me and the person that I am. But I think

830
00:48:59,640 --> 00:49:05,359
Speaker 2: the thing that I love most is that is exactly that,

831
00:49:05,560 --> 00:49:10,560
Speaker 2: right that I am in a space where I am

832
00:49:10,920 --> 00:49:15,920
Speaker 2: where I love myself immensely, right, where I am fully

833
00:49:16,120 --> 00:49:20,799
Speaker 2: aware of who I am and that I love who

834
00:49:20,840 --> 00:49:25,120
Speaker 2: I am. Because there's been plenty of moments in time

835
00:49:25,880 --> 00:49:31,959
Speaker 2: where I question myself, question my worth, question like it, hmm,

836
00:49:32,719 --> 00:49:37,080
Speaker 2: who this girl? And right now, what I love most

837
00:49:37,480 --> 00:49:41,319
Speaker 2: is that I am wholeheartedly in love with me.

838
00:49:43,640 --> 00:49:48,040
Speaker 1: And I love that. For you and lady, we hope

839
00:49:48,080 --> 00:49:51,120
Speaker 1: you enjoyed this, oh you blatchet episode. Be on the

840
00:49:51,160 --> 00:49:56,480
Speaker 1: lookout for more content, more merch, and some other good

841
00:49:56,480 --> 00:50:02,400
Speaker 1: things coming along, all about celebrating the multi dimensional woman.

842
00:50:03,200 --> 00:50:05,040
Speaker 1: We appreciate you, and we're going to hop into the

843
00:50:05,080 --> 00:50:07,480
Speaker 1: after show. So, lady, please make sure you go to

844
00:50:07,520 --> 00:50:11,320
Speaker 1: our website herspace podcast dot com, click on Patreon, become

845
00:50:11,480 --> 00:50:15,640
Speaker 1: a sister friend patron, Yes, sister friend patroons so that

846
00:50:15,760 --> 00:50:19,320
Speaker 1: you can, yeah, so that you can get access to

847
00:50:19,360 --> 00:50:23,040
Speaker 1: our after show and exclusive content and meet up with

848
00:50:23,120 --> 00:50:25,200
Speaker 1: us once a month for our check ins and all

849
00:50:25,200 --> 00:50:26,920
Speaker 1: that good stuff. So be sure to do that, and

850
00:50:26,920 --> 00:50:29,040
Speaker 1: we're going to head on out and see you in

851
00:50:29,080 --> 00:50:29,680
Speaker 1: the after show.

852
00:50:30,280 --> 00:50:36,759
Speaker 2: All right, Thanks for joining us today. Please note that

853
00:50:36,840 --> 00:50:42,759
Speaker 2: our show may contain conversations about self help, advice, self empowerment,

854
00:50:43,239 --> 00:50:46,359
Speaker 2: and mental health, but it is by no means meant

855
00:50:46,400 --> 00:50:50,239
Speaker 2: to be a substitute for an ongoing formal relationship with

856
00:50:50,360 --> 00:50:54,080
Speaker 2: a trained mental health provider. If you are someone you

857
00:50:54,200 --> 00:50:57,720
Speaker 2: know is in need of mental health care, please visit

858
00:50:57,800 --> 00:51:03,120
Speaker 2: a Therapy for Black Girls directory Psychology today or contact

859
00:51:03,160 --> 00:51:04,280
Speaker 2: your insurance provider.

860
00:51:04,800 --> 00:51:06,560
Speaker 1: If you liked what you heard and want to keep

861
00:51:06,560 --> 00:51:11,000
Speaker 1: the conversation going, visit our website at herspace podcast dot

862
00:51:11,040 --> 00:51:13,640
Speaker 1: com and be sure to click the Patreon tab to

863
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Speaker 1: get access to video content bonuses in our weekly after

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Speaker 1: show and before We Meet again, repeat after me, I

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Speaker 1: am worthy of what I desire, period