Speaker 1: If anyone says how are you since you lost your dad,
Speaker 1: look them straight in the eye and say, man, not
Speaker 1: too good. Not too good? You want to talk about it?
Speaker 1: And you go to be honest with you, No, I
Speaker 1: don't want to talk about it, but since you're a friend,
Speaker 1: I would say, can you force me to talk about it? Hey, everybody,
Speaker 1: Welcome to the podcast, Episode one, two seven. Thanks for
Speaker 1: joining me. Happy Monday. If you're watching real time, this
Speaker 1: is the podcast where I answer your questions. It could
Speaker 1: be about anything, any subject. We go super deep. If
Speaker 1: you want to ask me a question, email Grangersmith podcast
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. I'm going to answer it like
Speaker 1: we are sitting around a campfire and we have a
Speaker 1: lot of time, and you know that the fire is
Speaker 1: getting and going down to embers and it's getting late,
Speaker 1: and you say, hey, I can ask you a question
Speaker 1: about something, something I've been wondering. I don't always have
Speaker 1: the right answer, but we'll talk it, talk through it
Speaker 1: like me and you are friends. And that's the format
Speaker 1: of this podcast. Because of you, because of your questions,
Speaker 1: because they've been so good, this has become one of
Speaker 1: the top podcasts in all of the music genre. So
Speaker 1: thank you for that. If you're watching on YouTube, make
Speaker 1: sure you give it a like. If you're watching on
Speaker 1: or if you're listening on iTunes, make sure you give
Speaker 1: it a positive review. And it just keeps kicking it
Speaker 1: back up. Welcome. If you came from a TikTok clip,
Speaker 1: I appreciate you there too. Also Instagram reels. Let's get
Speaker 1: to the first question. I have a bunch queued up today.
Speaker 1: First question, subject line says Orthodoxy verse modern day sounds
Speaker 1: interesting enough, says Hey Grainger. My name is Taylor. I'm
Speaker 1: from about an hour north of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. I love
Speaker 1: the podcast and the candid conversations you have as they
Speaker 1: come up from the heart. I'm Orthodox and I've grown
Speaker 1: up in the church since birth, having my baptism, first
Speaker 1: Holy Communion, consciously going to church every Sunday through college.
Speaker 1: But as I've gotten older, I find myself struggling with
Speaker 1: the fine line between my personal relationship with God verse
Speaker 1: the traditional by the book idea that I've had grown up.
Speaker 1: Throughout the last five years or so, I've dug into
Speaker 1: my faith and begun to seek God to strengthen my
Speaker 1: personal relationship with Him, But I fear that sometimes it
Speaker 1: draws my attention away from what I've grown up with
Speaker 1: in my orthodox faith. I've heard you briefly touch on
Speaker 1: religion verse faith before, and I would love to know
Speaker 1: more about any advice you might have on how to
Speaker 1: navigate this and how to confidently seek Him. I appreciate
Speaker 1: it greatly. God bless you and your family. Taylor. Thank you, Taylor,
Speaker 1: Thanks for the email. It's a great question. And even
Speaker 1: though you're right, I've touched on something similar before, I
Speaker 1: think it doesn't hurt to just go back down this
Speaker 1: path again. So I want you to know. And so
Speaker 1: many times when I read your questions anybody's questions, I
Speaker 1: want you to know that a lot of times you're
Speaker 1: answering your own question through your question to me, and
Speaker 1: I could find your answer hidden inside your own question,
Speaker 1: letting me know that you already kind of know the
Speaker 1: answer and you're just wanting me to justify it for you.
Speaker 1: Which is fine, that's fine, That's that's what this podcast
Speaker 1: is about to me. But you are feeling a tension
Speaker 1: between a personal relationship with God, which is what, which
Speaker 1: is what? Christianity essentially is Christianity unlike any other worldly religion,
Speaker 1: is a relationship with God. Religion is man made. It's
Speaker 1: not necessarily a bad kind of man made. It's just
Speaker 1: religion is it's a way that it's a way. If
Speaker 1: if Christianity is a personal relationship with God, then man
Speaker 1: makes religion as a way to get there quicker or
Speaker 1: more efficiently based on your personality, So an orthodox religion
Speaker 1: would be someone that craves a formal way of going
Speaker 1: about his or her communication with God. Some there is
Speaker 1: there's a certain personality trait that needs uh and needs
Speaker 1: needs to dress up, and needs to be in a
Speaker 1: really nice atmosphere, a very structured atmosphere at church, a
Speaker 1: very very a very detailed format of prayer and organization.
Speaker 1: Some people need that. Others are are way more loose.
Speaker 1: Others like to wear a T shirt and faded blue
Speaker 1: jeans to church, and they like to they like to
Speaker 1: read the Bible and pray on their own time, and
Speaker 1: they like to be informal with their prayers. Some people
Speaker 1: like to be superstructured and super formal. So what I'm
Speaker 1: saying is there's there's not a bad way based on
Speaker 1: your personality. Because there's so many personalities in this world.
Speaker 1: There's not a bad way to communicate. But as long
Speaker 1: as you realize that the ultimate goal is personal relationship
Speaker 1: with God, what it sounds like through your question, Taylor,
Speaker 1: is that you are feeling a tension between the Orthodox
Speaker 1: structure and your personal relationship, which tells me that Orthodox
Speaker 1: structure is probably not your thing. It's probably not clicking
Speaker 1: with your mind. Hey, it's the same, it's the same.
Speaker 1: Look at look at music, look at movies. There's so
Speaker 1: many different kinds of movies. Why because there's so many
Speaker 1: different personalities. Like some people like to watch a very
Speaker 1: serious French award winning something foreign film, and some people
Speaker 1: like to watch Chris Farley in a really funny, lighthearted comedy.
Speaker 1: And some people only watch those funny, lighthearted comedies, and
Speaker 1: some people only watch the award winning winning French movies.
Speaker 1: That's just because we're all different. Music is the same.
Speaker 1: Some people like to listen to Beethoven and some people
Speaker 1: like to listen to kiss you know. And so we
Speaker 1: structure our communication with God based on our own personal
Speaker 1: preference and our own our own personal way of life.
Speaker 1: So if you are feeling attention, that's not a good thing.
Speaker 1: You are not required to be Orthodox and to be
Speaker 1: structured and to wear wear really nice clothes. And how
Speaker 1: do I know this because we look at the disciples,
Speaker 1: I mean were there were fishermen and carpenters and tax collectors,
Speaker 1: and they were just all over the map, and and
Speaker 1: they all came together for one personal relationship. Keep that
Speaker 1: in mind. Keep that in mind when you think about Peter,
Speaker 1: think about Paul, Think about any of the disciples and
Speaker 1: who they were, and what the clothes that they were,
Speaker 1: and how they worshiped in a field in a wheat field,
Speaker 1: how they they broke bread in a very casual way,
Speaker 1: how they they prayed very casually. Read through the Psalms,
Speaker 1: and through how David is worshiping, and he was very casual,
Speaker 1: he was he was sounds like more like you, Taylor,
Speaker 1: And we could find that through the Psalms. It wasn't
Speaker 1: until later and the Pharisees were doing it at that
Speaker 1: at the time, by the way, and Jesus didn't like it.
Speaker 1: But we find out later through our development of the
Speaker 1: church how we started structuring it. In Revelation, John says,
Speaker 1: there there actually is no temple in heaven. There is
Speaker 1: no there is no temple in heaven because we are
Speaker 1: the church. We are, we are the people, and I
Speaker 1: feel like we're in heaven. We will worship in in
Speaker 1: fields and by streams and by rivers and lakes and
Speaker 1: and and on the streets and out in the woods.
Speaker 1: I just feel like it's it's it's supposed to be
Speaker 1: very casual, but I also don't want to take away
Speaker 1: for the people that need to be very structured, because
Speaker 1: maybe their life needs to be structured. To your question,
Speaker 1: I would, I would. I would not let that be attention.
Speaker 1: I would not worry about that. I would not worry
Speaker 1: about the way you grew up, the traditional way that
Speaker 1: you grew up. I would base it more on who
Speaker 1: you are now as an adult and the way you
Speaker 1: want to achieve that personal relationship. I hope that answers
Speaker 1: your question. Email me back if if we want to
Speaker 1: go deeper into that. Next question is subject line I
Speaker 1: really like this girl. Hey Gring, your name is James,
Speaker 1: currently going to college in Arizona. I've been talking to
Speaker 1: this girl recently who is from back home. She goes
Speaker 1: to a school nearby. It's not long distance. I recently
Speaker 1: asked her if she was wanting a relationship now or
Speaker 1: if she doesn't want one. She said she doesn't want one,
Speaker 1: but she may want one in the future. Hey, that's obvious, right.
Speaker 1: You go on to say, I know she's studying abroad
Speaker 1: for a few weeks this summer, so I don't know
Speaker 1: if she likes me or if she just wants to
Speaker 1: wait till this is all over. Because we only see
Speaker 1: each other for four weeks. We will only see each
Speaker 1: other for four weeks over the next few months. If
Speaker 1: she if she likes me or not, I don't know
Speaker 1: should I wait for this girl? Should I move on
Speaker 1: not knowing if she likes me or if she's just
Speaker 1: leading me on? Love your podcast. Thank you, James, Thanks
Speaker 1: for the question. Once again, I feel like you're answering
Speaker 1: your own question in your own email to me. If
Speaker 1: she says if you ask her if she wants a relationship,
Speaker 1: she says no, she doesn't, that's enough, right, That's enough
Speaker 1: for her to say to you, I don't really dig
Speaker 1: you that much because the answer is always obvious. We
Speaker 1: just don't always see it when we're in it. But
Speaker 1: if she doesn't want a relationship right now, what she's
Speaker 1: saying is I don't want a relationship with you because
Speaker 1: at whatever stage of life she's in, no matter how
Speaker 1: busy she is, no matter what she's going on with
Speaker 1: college or working or abroad or studying, whatever she's doing.
Speaker 1: If she really likes like, if her heart is attached
Speaker 1: to you, she will make time in that space for you.
Speaker 1: And she's not willing to do that, which is great
Speaker 1: for you. You're getting a clear answer. That's really good.
Speaker 1: You're not getting an ambiguous and ambiguous answer here. She's
Speaker 1: telling you I don't like you, Okay, that's not saying
Speaker 1: that she won't in the future sometime, and I don't
Speaker 1: want I don't want you to cling to that. But
Speaker 1: I'm assuming she's being super sweet to you and she's
Speaker 1: probably just a nice person. That's why she says I
Speaker 1: don't want a relationship. But you're still in this waiting
Speaker 1: period because she's probably just a nice person and every
Speaker 1: time you talk to her you think, oh, but she's
Speaker 1: so nice. But she already gave you an answer, James.
Speaker 1: So your question is should I move on not knowing
Speaker 1: if she likes me? Or is she just leading me on?
Speaker 1: Where are you going? Like? Are you? You? Are you?
Speaker 1: Are you asking to move on to another girl? Because
Speaker 1: if that's the case, then that's your own answer to
Speaker 1: you could find another girl, like there's another one out there.
Speaker 1: If you are stuck on her, then I would wait
Speaker 1: on a new relationship until you heal yourself and you
Speaker 1: become content alone yourself, which would just take time, and
Speaker 1: I would invest a lot of time and energy in
Speaker 1: your friends, your guy friends. You're in Arizona. What an
Speaker 1: amazing place to live, going to college in Arizona. You're
Speaker 1: living a dream life. And apparently you don't totally know that.
Speaker 1: You are living a dream life in Arizona right now.
Speaker 1: Hang out with your buddies, go hiking, go fishing, enjoy
Speaker 1: this college life. You only get one shot at this,
Speaker 1: and not a lot of people get this kind of opportunity.
Speaker 1: I didn't to go to college in Arizona. I didn't
Speaker 1: get that. So enjoy that, Embrace that, and don't worry
Speaker 1: about this girl. You asked her if she wants a relationship.
Speaker 1: Good on you for asking, Good on her for telling
Speaker 1: you the truth. She does. It's not going to work,
Speaker 1: at least not right now. Let's move on. Heret this question, says,
Speaker 1: Hey Grangeer, my name is Mason. I'm sixteen years old
Speaker 1: from a small town in Oregon. Been a huge fan
Speaker 1: since I was about ten. I had a quick question.
Speaker 1: I love Rodeo, It's my life goal and dream, but
Speaker 1: my parents and family hate it. Do you think I
Speaker 1: should follow my dreams or try to make my family happy? Thanks? Mason,
Speaker 1: good question, Thanks for emailing. This question is different if
Speaker 1: you're saying you're twenty six or thirty six, but you're sixteen,
Speaker 1: you're still under your parents' roof, so that there's this
Speaker 1: element of respecting your parents, honoring your parents and how
Speaker 1: they they want your life to go. That can't change
Speaker 1: the fact that if your parents hate Rodeo, it's not
Speaker 1: going to change the fact that you love it. But
Speaker 1: by honoring them, it changes the dynamic of how you
Speaker 1: treat it. For instance, how are you how are you
Speaker 1: having a conversation with your mom? Because the thing about
Speaker 1: parents is, Mason, they love you and they're looking out
Speaker 1: for your best interest. So they might be thinking about
Speaker 1: your financial future in Rodeo. They know it's a tough
Speaker 1: life too. They might be thinking about getting you getting
Speaker 1: injured and maybe you hurt your back and that's gonna
Speaker 1: that's gonna hurt future career moves for you. That's what
Speaker 1: they're thinking, So, how are you positioning this conversation? Because
Speaker 1: what if you said, Mom, can I talk with you?
Speaker 1: And there's no animosity towards her or your dad or
Speaker 1: your family, But it's more like, Mom, could I talk
Speaker 1: with you? I love rodeo and it's it's my life dream,
Speaker 1: it's it's my life passion. I'm I'm so, I'm so
Speaker 1: in love with this sport and everything about it. How
Speaker 1: could I work with you so that you could see
Speaker 1: that I'm going to stay safe and that I'm I'm
Speaker 1: gonna enjoy this and that enjoyment is more important to
Speaker 1: me than money in the future, Like what if you
Speaker 1: had that kind of conversation and if she says absolutely not,
Speaker 1: say okay, can you go with me to a rodeo sometime?
Speaker 1: Maybe we could talk to some of the older guys.
Speaker 1: Maybe we could talk to some of my peers, some
Speaker 1: of the people I look up to. You could have
Speaker 1: a conversation with some of the other moms, see what
Speaker 1: they're thinking, Like what if you brought her into this
Speaker 1: whole decision thing with you instead of saying, Mom, I
Speaker 1: love it, I want to do it. I don't care
Speaker 1: what you say. It changes the dynamic, right, So bring
Speaker 1: her in, but while honoring her, while respecting the fact
Speaker 1: that she's just looking after you and she wants the
Speaker 1: best for you. So see it from that perspective. Mom
Speaker 1: wants the best for me. Mom knows she's been here
Speaker 1: on this earth longer than me, So there's an element
Speaker 1: of that, Like, maybe I should listen a little bit
Speaker 1: to Mom. Now. I'm not leaning either way on this.
Speaker 1: I understand having a dream because I had it with music,
Speaker 1: and I had it at your same age of sixteen.
Speaker 1: I was all ate up with being on tour and
Speaker 1: traveling and playing music, and it's very similar. It's an
Speaker 1: uncertain future, right, I would say, honor her, honor your parents,
Speaker 1: and bring them in on this whole decision with you.
Speaker 1: Let them take this journey with you so they could
Speaker 1: see your love and you could also see their point
Speaker 1: of view. Subjecline here says tired of being alone. Hey Granger,
Speaker 1: my name is Carly. I'm from North Carolina. I'm twenty
Speaker 1: years old. I've never had a boyfriend. I've had guys
Speaker 1: by me, gifts, lead me on, say they love me,
Speaker 1: and then hurt me multiple times, but never had a
Speaker 1: guy ask me out. On a date or pursue me.
Speaker 1: I've always been embarrassed to tell people that mainly make
Speaker 1: people because they make fun of me for it. But
Speaker 1: I'm starting to lose hope. I know there that there
Speaker 1: was no one perfect, and I don't expect there each
Speaker 1: guy to be perfect. But they all say they're a Christian,
Speaker 1: but the way of life they're living is a completely
Speaker 1: different story. I ask my friends all the time if
Speaker 1: I'm doing something wrong or if there's something wrong with
Speaker 1: me that makes no guy want to pursue me, but
Speaker 1: they say no. I try to keep my standards high,
Speaker 1: but it's becoming challenging for me because I don't want
Speaker 1: to be alone anymore. I'm convinced that I'm never going
Speaker 1: to find a guy that's different, a man that's actually
Speaker 1: a Christian, or it's after God's own heart. A part
Speaker 1: of me wants to settle, but I just know that
Speaker 1: I can't any advice. Carly, my first thing to you
Speaker 1: is that you're way too young for this to be
Speaker 1: a huge concern for you. You're starting to wonder if
Speaker 1: there's ever a guy for you, and you're twenty. I
Speaker 1: know that twenty the two decades on this earth is
Speaker 1: a long time, but it's a short time as far
Speaker 1: as relationships go, like you have so much time ahead
Speaker 1: of you. I would say partly, it feels like you're
Speaker 1: fish in the wrong pond you're looking for You're looking
Speaker 1: for steak at Baskin Robbins, and Baskin Robbins is never
Speaker 1: gonna sell steak. So stop going there to get full right,
Speaker 1: because you're just gonna get ice cream there and then
Speaker 1: you're gonna walk out going Why do I keep getting
Speaker 1: ice cream? I want a steak. I want to fill
Speaker 1: my soul with food, and I'm getting ice cream. I
Speaker 1: would say that's because you're shopping at Baskin Robbins. That's
Speaker 1: all they sell. So go to a steakhouse. Go to
Speaker 1: a steakhouse to find the food that you need to
Speaker 1: fill right. So where would that be? Well, it's not
Speaker 1: that hard, it's not that hard to think about. I mean,
Speaker 1: church is one way, right, Go to a church, start
Speaker 1: start living a life. You say you're a Christian, start
Speaker 1: living a life pursuing Christ and go full strength into
Speaker 1: that and then look sideways and see who's going on
Speaker 1: the same path with you, and you'll find him. You'll
Speaker 1: find someone that's going the same direction instead of someone
Speaker 1: passing you by going the opposite direction. And then you say, hey,
Speaker 1: do you like me? And they say yes, I love you,
Speaker 1: and then they keep going and you say, why didn't
Speaker 1: they stop. It's confusing to me that you say you've
Speaker 1: never had a boyfriend, but you've had guys tell you
Speaker 1: that they love you. That's strange to me that anyone
Speaker 1: would say they love you and you've been hurt by this,
Speaker 1: but they've never asked you on a date. I think
Speaker 1: you're giving your heart away a little too soon someone
Speaker 1: that's never asked you on a date, and you're jumping
Speaker 1: the gun a little bit, allowing yourself to get hurt
Speaker 1: too early from someone that's not a respectable suitor for you.
Speaker 1: I would say you deserve better than that. So all
Speaker 1: that being said, you're twenty. You have so much more
Speaker 1: life ahead of you. Don't go shopping at Basking Robin's
Speaker 1: for a stake. Work on being single and content. Preach
Speaker 1: that to yourself, Preach that to your mind, preach that
Speaker 1: to your own heart, and say I'm single and I
Speaker 1: am content. And you might not totally believe it. Deep down,
Speaker 1: you might not totally believe it, but keep preaching it
Speaker 1: back at yourself. Wake up in the morning and tell yourself,
Speaker 1: I'm single. The sun's up today, it's a new day,
Speaker 1: and I'm content alone. I am content alone. You were
Speaker 1: born alone and you will die alone. All of you listening,
Speaker 1: You were born alone and you will die alone. You
Speaker 1: have to learn to be content alone before you could
Speaker 1: add someone else to that mix. And when you do,
Speaker 1: you'll know it and you'll be so attractive to other
Speaker 1: people for being content and alone. What is it about
Speaker 1: that girl? She's so confident, she's so driven. What is
Speaker 1: it about here? I'll tell you what it is. She's
Speaker 1: content alone, she's content without you. And then they go, man,
Speaker 1: I want a part of that. I want a part
Speaker 1: of that girl. If you're desperate, if you're asking the
Speaker 1: question out loud, why am I not happy? It shows
Speaker 1: on your face. People will see that. So pre set
Speaker 1: to yourself, stop shopping at Baskin Robins, and remember you
Speaker 1: got a lot of life left ahead of you. Okay,
Speaker 1: thank you, Carly, thanks for the question. Let's grab one
Speaker 1: more and take a break. Subdecline Here it says death.
Speaker 1: Hey granger, my name is Toner. I recently lost my dad,
Speaker 1: and ever since, I feel like I should be relieved
Speaker 1: that he's no longer in pain, But another part of
Speaker 1: me feels like a complete pos for thinking that I
Speaker 1: should be sad. Does this feeling ever go away? I
Speaker 1: also feel like I shouldn't talk to anyone or go
Speaker 1: out anymore, and I should just stick to myself. Toner
Speaker 1: Grad email, Man, I've been there. I know your pain,
Speaker 1: or at least similar pain. None of us could relate
Speaker 1: exactly to each other, but we could. We could be
Speaker 1: in the same ballpark and I lost my dad and
Speaker 1: I felt these kind of feelings, and I think I
Speaker 1: think the first answer that I would give you is
Speaker 1: that when you ask, I feel like I should be
Speaker 1: relieved that he's no longer in pain. But another part
Speaker 1: makes me feel like a pus, thinking then I should
Speaker 1: be sad. I think you could have both, That's what
Speaker 1: I would say. I would say, Yes, you could be
Speaker 1: relieved that your dad's not in pain, and you could
Speaker 1: also feel sad that he's gone, and you could feel
Speaker 1: like you want a little more of him and another
Speaker 1: piece of him back here, and you feel guilty because
Speaker 1: you're thinking, if I if I'm wanting him back, then
Speaker 1: I'm wanting him to be in pain again for my
Speaker 1: own selfish reasons. And I would say reject that thought.
Speaker 1: It's not a correct thought because the love that you
Speaker 1: have for your dad is now reflecting in the grief
Speaker 1: that you have for him. So the amount, the amount
Speaker 1: of love that you have for any person that you
Speaker 1: lose equals the amount of grief. So if you loved
Speaker 1: him a lot, you're gonna grieve him a lot. If
Speaker 1: you didn't love him very much, you're gonna get over
Speaker 1: him quick. So the sign that you're still sad and
Speaker 1: you're still grieving tells me you got a great dad.
Speaker 1: You had a dad that loved you and you loved
Speaker 1: him a lot. And not a lot of people can
Speaker 1: say that. Not everyone listening to this podcast could say
Speaker 1: I love my biological father so much and he loves
Speaker 1: me so much. Not everyone can say that, and you can.
Speaker 1: So so that there's this idea that there's a you're
Speaker 1: You're you're part of a small group that is that
Speaker 1: is so blessed to have had a loving father. Let
Speaker 1: yourself grieve, let yourself be sad. Stop telling yourself that
Speaker 1: you're a pos. The feeling you're asking that you you
Speaker 1: shouldn't talk to anyone, or you shouldn't go out anymore.
Speaker 1: You shouldn't go out anymore is also normal, and I
Speaker 1: would I would go against that is as hard as
Speaker 1: it is to do. I would say, try to talk
Speaker 1: to people about it. Try to go out because we
Speaker 1: need community. Don't sit at home with the blinds closed,
Speaker 1: thinking about Dad, thinking about the pain he was in
Speaker 1: before he died. Go out, force yourself, put on your shoes,
Speaker 1: put on your pants and your shirt. Call your friend
Speaker 1: and say what are you doing tonight? Nothing? Man, We're
Speaker 1: just hanging out on the couch watching a movie. Say
Speaker 1: can I come? And then go there? Show up. Just
Speaker 1: keep showing up every day. Go back out, sit with
Speaker 1: your friends, even if it's just a total distraction. Work
Speaker 1: is a great way to do that too. Dive into
Speaker 1: your work, get busy, get to exercise and get to
Speaker 1: doing some kind of strength training, or go out and
Speaker 1: take walks if that's all you could do. Go for
Speaker 1: a jog. I'm not a jogger, but go for a
Speaker 1: jog if that's what you do. But you got to
Speaker 1: get out, You got to show up. It sounds like
Speaker 1: you didn't say when, but it sounds like you're pretty
Speaker 1: early on in this process. Maybe you're within the first
Speaker 1: year of losing them. If you're in the first year
Speaker 1: of losing them, Toner, you're right on the path you
Speaker 1: need to be, and everything you're feeling is correct. If
Speaker 1: tomorrow you wake up in a good mood and you're
Speaker 1: smiling and laughing and that's the way you feel, don't
Speaker 1: feel guilty that you're smiling and laughing, because that's normal.
Speaker 1: Because tomorrow night you might be sad again. You might
Speaker 1: start taking a shower and start crying in the shower again, right,
Speaker 1: and then you're thinking, what is wrong with me? I'm
Speaker 1: going insane? I was happy an hour ago and now
Speaker 1: I'm crying. Normal, that's normal. Let it happen. Whatever emotions
Speaker 1: are bubbling up inside you, let them come out. Talk
Speaker 1: about it. If anyone says how are you since you
Speaker 1: lost your dad, look them straight in the eye and say, man,
Speaker 1: not too good. Not too good? Open up the conversation.
Speaker 1: Oh man, you want to talk about it? And you
Speaker 1: go to be honest with you, No, I don't want
Speaker 1: to talk about it. But since you're a friend, I
Speaker 1: would say, can you force me to talk about it?
Speaker 1: And he'll say yeah, yeah. Any good friend would say yeah,
Speaker 1: and you say it's tough man, and just open up,
Speaker 1: be vulnerable. There's no better way. Clamming up, shutting the blind,
Speaker 1: staying home by yourself, telling yourself you're a pos. Your
Speaker 1: dad's not in pain anymore, so don't even think about it.
Speaker 1: That's rough man, that's rough on yourself. Your final question,
Speaker 1: does this feeling ever go away? Yeah, it eases up.
Speaker 1: It's not gonna disappear. You're gonna think about your dad,
Speaker 1: probably every day of your life. But those thoughts go
Speaker 1: from sad thoughts to man, dad would love this restaurant,
Speaker 1: or Dad would love this movie, and then you smile,
Speaker 1: or man, dad loved this hobby. Dad loved fishing. I
Speaker 1: love to fish because my dad loved to fish. And
Speaker 1: I'm living on through He's living on through me. Right,
Speaker 1: That's what's gonna change. The sadness, the crying and the shower,
Speaker 1: the closing the blinds and not wanting to go out. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it goes away. You're gonna get better. You don't move on,
Speaker 1: but you move forward, take a break and be right back.
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Speaker 1: If you have a question for me for this podcast,
Speaker 1: email Granger Smith Podcast at gmail dot com. Could be
Speaker 1: about any subject. Don't hold back, give me anything. My
Speaker 1: only request is two things. One, you keep your questions
Speaker 1: within about a phone length right so that doesn't get
Speaker 1: too long. And the other request is don't send the
Speaker 1: same email multiple times. I'm going to see it. Trust me,
Speaker 1: it goes into the archive. Trust me. It doesn't help
Speaker 1: you if you send multiple times because the producers will
Speaker 1: just delete it. Next question, septic Line is warrior or Christian? Says, Hey, Granger,
Speaker 1: loved the podcast and everything you put out. I wanted
Speaker 1: to get your input on an issue I've been dealing
Speaker 1: with for a while now. You see, I'm a husband,
Speaker 1: I'm a father of two perfect babies, and I'm a
Speaker 1: state trooper. I've been on the force for two years now,
Speaker 1: and let's just say I'm daylight and dark from what
Speaker 1: I used to be prior to becoming a trooper. I
Speaker 1: find it very difficult to be a warrior while on
Speaker 1: duty and coming home to my family whenever I'm off duty.
Speaker 1: It's hard to flip that switch from being rough and
Speaker 1: tough dude on one side of the highway while dealing
Speaker 1: with a lot of evil in this world to coming
Speaker 1: home and loving on my wife and my kids and
Speaker 1: being present with them. It used to be very easy
Speaker 1: for me. I used to be an easy going guy,
Speaker 1: and now it's like truth be told. I'm sort of soulless,
Speaker 1: or at least it's just let's just say I feel.
Speaker 1: That's how I feel all the time. I lack sympathy
Speaker 1: and empathy, and it's caused a huge strain in my marriage.
Speaker 1: I've been a Christian near my entire life, but really
Speaker 1: the past year I have become very distant from God.
Speaker 1: I know you probably receive a million of these emails,
Speaker 1: but I hope you'll answer this one. I appreciate it, brother,
Speaker 1: Thank you for all you do well. Thank you so much. Man.
Speaker 1: You didn't say, you didn't say anonymous, and your email
Speaker 1: says Dylan, so I'll call you Dylan. Thanks for the email, brother,
Speaker 1: and thank you for your service. None of us could
Speaker 1: ever discount what you do on these streets and keeping
Speaker 1: keeping everyone safe is is incredible, and it's it's an
Speaker 1: honor for you to ask me this question. I don't
Speaker 1: want to dismiss it because I think I think everything
Speaker 1: you're saying is as accurate, and I feel you that
Speaker 1: that One of the first things I would do is
Speaker 1: to seek wise counsel within law enforcement. I think that
Speaker 1: there's a lot of people on the force, in your
Speaker 1: department and other departments that have men and women that
Speaker 1: are older than you, that have grandkids, that could help
Speaker 1: walk through some of your questions better than I can,
Speaker 1: because I can't relate exactly to what you're saying, So
Speaker 1: I would seek wise counsel and I would seek it often.
Speaker 1: I would say, Hey, so and so, could I have
Speaker 1: coffee with you on Wednesday at eight am? There's some
Speaker 1: stuff I want to get off my chest. And he says, yeah, absolutely,
Speaker 1: And you come in and you meet him at eight
Speaker 1: o'clock on Wednesday for coffee, and you dump all this
Speaker 1: on him and make sure he's older and wiser and
Speaker 1: has done this for a long time and he's a
Speaker 1: family man just like you. And I would pour this
Speaker 1: on him and just see what he says. And then
Speaker 1: I would make a routine to do it every Wednesday
Speaker 1: or every Monday or whenever. I would make a routine
Speaker 1: to constantly seek wise counsel and go to your chief
Speaker 1: say the same thing, Say Chief, I love my job.
Speaker 1: I always have. You know me, You know I work hard,
Speaker 1: you know I love what I do. But is there
Speaker 1: anyone I could talk to about flipping that switch back
Speaker 1: to my family? It's the departments are supposed to be
Speaker 1: set up this way where they can provide counsel for you.
Speaker 1: But I would also seek it out yourself and just say, hey,
Speaker 1: mister so and so, I respect you so much. You've
Speaker 1: been doing this for so long. Could I pick your
Speaker 1: brain on how you've done it so successfully with maintaining
Speaker 1: family life and work and having that balance. Can I
Speaker 1: talk to you? Surely someone's gonna say, Dylan, Absolutely, absolutely.
Speaker 1: And then if you're still in the force, you pay
Speaker 1: this back to another young guy, another guy with young
Speaker 1: kids at home, and this is the trend that we do.
Speaker 1: This is that's how we reciprocate in life, and you
Speaker 1: seek him out. When you're older, you seek them out.
Speaker 1: Maybe you could do this now. Maybe there's rookies in
Speaker 1: there right now that you could seek out and you
Speaker 1: can go, hey, man, how are you doing. Oh, I'm
Speaker 1: doing great. No, I mean how you doing at home? Like,
Speaker 1: how are you balancing working home? And they say, I'm
Speaker 1: still learning. You go, let's go grab some coffee. Want
Speaker 1: talk about it. Because the crazy thing is when you
Speaker 1: do that, when you're trying to pay it forward like that,
Speaker 1: you're gonna learn a lot about yourself. And you're gonna
Speaker 1: hear this young guy asking you questions and inside you're
Speaker 1: gonna go, I resonate with that. I feel that I
Speaker 1: get that, and then you'll be able to answer him.
Speaker 1: And so funny because in life when we answer other
Speaker 1: people with things that they're dealing with, like me on
Speaker 1: this podcast, when we answer, we're gonna be a lot
Speaker 1: whise and our answers to someone else, and a lot
Speaker 1: more honest than we are with our own self our
Speaker 1: own questions. It's harder for us to be honest with
Speaker 1: ourselves and to give ourselves the hard, cold truth, the good,
Speaker 1: solid advice to ourselves. It's harder to do that than
Speaker 1: it is to give it to someone else. Isn't that weird?
Speaker 1: Because we know the advice is solid, but when we
Speaker 1: tell it to ourselves, it's harder to do it. It's
Speaker 1: harder to hear it. One thing that occurred to me
Speaker 1: when I was reading your email is that there is
Speaker 1: the thing. There is a thing, Dylan, there is an
Speaker 1: element of this that maybe you don't need to do
Speaker 1: this anymore. If it's causing friction in your marriage, if
Speaker 1: it's causing you to not be present with your children,
Speaker 1: and it's causing you to be distant with God, and
Speaker 1: you know that the direct cause of this is the job,
Speaker 1: and it's not something that you could deal with with
Speaker 1: yourself internally. If it's not that, if it is just
Speaker 1: the job and things that you're seeing that's hardening your
Speaker 1: heart and making you too rough and tough that you
Speaker 1: can't flip the switch. You need to really ask yourself
Speaker 1: if it's time for a career change or not. That's
Speaker 1: the hard question that you are going to wrestle with now.
Speaker 1: Is is this the right move for me as a dad?
Speaker 1: It used to be this was my dream. I'm serving
Speaker 1: my state as a trooper. I'm serving our people, our community,
Speaker 1: and I've always wanted this. But back then when I
Speaker 1: had that dream, I also wasn't a father and I
Speaker 1: wasn't a husband. And now it's hurting my relationship with God.
Speaker 1: I feel distant, I feel cold. It's maybe it's time
Speaker 1: for a career change. And maybe that's what one of
Speaker 1: these wise counsels will tell you at coffee. Maybe they'll say, Dylan,
Speaker 1: you're speaking like a man that needs a new job,
Speaker 1: a new passion. It might be tough to hear that.
Speaker 1: It might be tough to tell yourself that, But that's
Speaker 1: kind of what your email is leaning to. And I
Speaker 1: know this, this is a very important question to you.
Speaker 1: I know it is. I can tell by your rhetoric,
Speaker 1: and I know that you want so badly to hear
Speaker 1: from me on this, and I would say, you're going
Speaker 1: to wrestle with this question of maybe a career change.
Speaker 1: But regardless, wise counsel immediately from people that are in
Speaker 1: the force. And then, first and foremost, before all that,
Speaker 1: you take it to God before anything I said. You
Speaker 1: say this email right here. You say this to God.
Speaker 1: And it goes back to our very first question about
Speaker 1: being orthodox. Hey, God could take it like this. God
Speaker 1: could take it just like this. Hey, God, you have
Speaker 1: given me the gift of being a husband and a
Speaker 1: father of two perfect babies. And you've given me You've
Speaker 1: given the passion in my heart to become a state trooper.
Speaker 1: You gave me that a long ago. I've been on
Speaker 1: the force two years off. Somebody say I'm changed. I
Speaker 1: find it very difficult, God, to be a warrior while
Speaker 1: on duty and coming home to my family. I find
Speaker 1: it hard to flip that switch on being a rough
Speaker 1: and tough dude on the highway and then dealing with
Speaker 1: my wife and kids when I come home. God, what
Speaker 1: do I do? Give me the desires of my heart.
Speaker 1: Lead me in the right direction. I'm about to call
Speaker 1: some people for wise counsel. Lead me to these men.
Speaker 1: Lead me to the people that are going to give
Speaker 1: me the wise counsel at coffee, and then give me
Speaker 1: the courage to hear them, because I know God that
Speaker 1: you could speak through them, and that's what you do,
Speaker 1: You speak through people. So give me the courage to
Speaker 1: hear what they're gonna say, and then give me even
Speaker 1: more courage to do it when I believe that they're
Speaker 1: telling the truth to me. I hope that answers your question. Buddy.
Speaker 1: Thank you for it, and thank you for your service.
Speaker 1: Let's flip here. Subject line says dealing with a mama's boy.
Speaker 1: Hey Grangeo'd like to stay anonymous. I'm from Troy, North Carolina.
Speaker 1: I'm nineteen. My boyfriend is twenty. We've been together for
Speaker 1: three years. I started to feel like this might not
Speaker 1: be the right relationship for me. I feel like my
Speaker 1: boyfriend is too much of a mama's boy. Don't get
Speaker 1: me wrong, there's absolutely nothing wrong with the son having
Speaker 1: a good relationship with his mother, but he depends on
Speaker 1: her for everything. I've noticed recently. He values my opinion
Speaker 1: less and does not include me on big decisions. He
Speaker 1: will do almost anything she says, no matter what the situation,
Speaker 1: even when it includes me. He used to tell me everything,
Speaker 1: but here lately he doesn't tell me anything. I find
Speaker 1: myself happier and more or at peace when we are
Speaker 1: not together. Over the past four months, I've been thinking
Speaker 1: about ending things with him, but I'm not sure if
Speaker 1: I should. What advice do you have? Do you think
Speaker 1: I'm being selfish? He is supposed to be moving out
Speaker 1: of his parents. How soon should I stay to see
Speaker 1: if anything changes? Or walk away? Now? Much love to
Speaker 1: you and your family. Thank you Anonymous, and shout out
Speaker 1: to North Carolina. I believe that's the second one for
Speaker 1: North Carolina. Hey, it's a legit it's a very legit question,
Speaker 1: and you're nineteen. A lot of life ahead of you.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna guess and say, a lot of relationships ahead
Speaker 1: of you too. I think a couple of things. I
Speaker 1: think First, he's twenty years old and he's still living
Speaker 1: with his parents. Of course, he's a mama's boy like
Speaker 1: that shouldn't be a surprise to you. He's only twenty
Speaker 1: Last year he was a teenager, and he's still living
Speaker 1: with his parents. Of Course, he's going to include his
Speaker 1: mom in decisions in his life. You're asking if you
Speaker 1: should wait and see what happens when he moves out.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's time to take a break from this relationship.
Speaker 1: You are not happy, you're not at peace with him.
Speaker 1: Why are you staying if you're not happy and not
Speaker 1: at peace? Why are you trying to fix this guy?
Speaker 1: And I don't even think there's anything necessarily wrong with him,
Speaker 1: But what are you doing? Why are you emailing me
Speaker 1: telling me you're not at peace, you're not happy, you're
Speaker 1: thinking about ending it. It sounds like you're wanting this
Speaker 1: project of a boy that hopefully things are going to
Speaker 1: work out and he's going to move out from mom's
Speaker 1: house and you're going to work on him to be
Speaker 1: a man. He needs to do that on his own.
Speaker 1: You can't help him be a man. You can't help
Speaker 1: him become more independent. You can't help him get away
Speaker 1: from Mama and start listening to you instead of her.
Speaker 1: That's the wrong intentions anyway. You're not going to get
Speaker 1: anywhere with that. It's not going to fix You're not
Speaker 1: going to get this done like you want to. And
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter if he moves out, because what then
Speaker 1: are you going to become the mom when he moves
Speaker 1: out from his mom? Are you going to become the
Speaker 1: new mom. You're asking questions to me like you're married.
Speaker 1: You're expecting as a girlfriend to be involved in every
Speaker 1: decision he makes, including the big ones, including the ones
Speaker 1: with you. When that's too high of an expectation for
Speaker 1: a twenty year old who's not married. He doesn't need
Speaker 1: to include you in everything he doesn't, including things that
Speaker 1: have to do with you. He doesn't have to involve you,
Speaker 1: and it is understandable that he involves his mom. Like
Speaker 1: I said, he lives with her. So I'm not calling
Speaker 1: you out and I'm not calling him out. I think
Speaker 1: this is a normal situation between a twenty year old
Speaker 1: and a nineteen year old, and I think it's time
Speaker 1: for you to have an honest conversation with him and
Speaker 1: tell him how you feel without being hateful or judgmental,
Speaker 1: and don't call him out on being a mama's boy.
Speaker 1: Just say, hey, I feel like I feel like you
Speaker 1: are on the verge of being an independent man and
Speaker 1: on your own and I don't want to hinder that
Speaker 1: from you. To be honest, I haven't been totally happy
Speaker 1: and I haven't been in peace with this relationship. So
Speaker 1: I would propose that we take a break for a
Speaker 1: little bit. Let you have time to move out, Let
Speaker 1: you have time to start your life, to pay your
Speaker 1: own rent, and then we stay in touch. We stay
Speaker 1: in contact and we see how this goes. But Anonymous,
Speaker 1: it's important for you to know that you are not
Speaker 1: his mother, and you will not replace his mother, and
Speaker 1: don't even plan to. He's got a lot of life
Speaker 1: ahead of him. Let a twenty year old be a
Speaker 1: twenty year old. Don't expect a twenty year old to
Speaker 1: act like a thirty year old man. That's what it
Speaker 1: sounds like. It's like you're watching a movie of about
Speaker 1: a relationship of a thirty year old man and you're going,
Speaker 1: why doesn't my guy act like that? Because the other
Speaker 1: guy's got ten years on him. And if you're looking
Speaker 1: at other twenty year olds, hey, they're all progressing at
Speaker 1: different rates. They're all growing and maturing at different rates,
Speaker 1: so you can't compare another twenty year old. He might
Speaker 1: be light years ahead of your boyfriend, but that's just
Speaker 1: where he is in life right now. If it's gonna
Speaker 1: it'll all even out in another ten years. I hope
Speaker 1: that makes sense. I think it's time for a break
Speaker 1: all right, Let's grab another one here. Subject line here
Speaker 1: says struggling with faith. Hey grangeer, I'll try to make
Speaker 1: this quick. My name is Travis. I'm from southern Ohio.
Speaker 1: I'm twenty five years old, married and have a beautiful
Speaker 1: baby girl. The backstory to what I'm struggling with is
Speaker 1: I grew up in a Christian home. I've been a
Speaker 1: believer in my entire life. I attend church regularly, even
Speaker 1: became known as the preacher man at work with my
Speaker 1: other guy friends that come to advice from me when
Speaker 1: they struggle. But lately I've been falling away from God,
Speaker 1: struggle with belief, having doubts, feeling lukewarm in my faith.
Speaker 1: How do I get back on track? What would be
Speaker 1: Why would I be losing beliefs that I was so
Speaker 1: extremely steadfast of all of a sudden. Travis, thank you,
Speaker 1: brother shout out to Ohio. Thanks for the question. I
Speaker 1: think it's a good one. When we're feeling lukewarm in
Speaker 1: our faith, this is where the psalms come in so
Speaker 1: handy in the Bible. The first thing we recognize when
Speaker 1: we become lukewarm in our faith and we need to
Speaker 1: get back on track is we need to recognize that
Speaker 1: we as humans aren't capable of fully going to God
Speaker 1: ever anyway, what yeah, So what do we do? We
Speaker 1: reflect what the psalms say and we say God, open
Speaker 1: my mouth and I'll praise you. Open my eyes so
Speaker 1: that I could see your truth. Open my ears so
Speaker 1: I can hear you. And then just say God, because
Speaker 1: I'm not able. I'm not capable of opening my mouth
Speaker 1: or opening my eyes or opening my ears, but you are.
Speaker 1: So I'm bringing this to you. I feel lukewarm. So
Speaker 1: fill me with your truth. Open my eyes, open my mouth,
Speaker 1: and I'll praise you. Don't let me slip, don't let
Speaker 1: me drift, pull me back in, Draw me into you, God,
Speaker 1: draw me to you, and I'll follow. But I'm just
Speaker 1: a man. Have mercy on me, have mercy on me,
Speaker 1: a sinner. That's what the tax collector said. Draw me
Speaker 1: back to you. That's your prayer. And then the way
Speaker 1: that we listen to him, the way he speaks is
Speaker 1: through the Bible. And I've said this before. We have
Speaker 1: this feeling sometimes, like this pagan feeling, like God's gonna
Speaker 1: speak through the wind, or he's going to speak through
Speaker 1: writing letters in the clouds. Or he's going to speak
Speaker 1: through road signs, and I'm gonna see certain words appear
Speaker 1: to me because God's speaking through that way. No, he
Speaker 1: doesn't do that. He could do anything, but the way
Speaker 1: that he speaks the majority of the time is through
Speaker 1: his living, breathing word, the Bible. So we say the prayer,
Speaker 1: like I said, God, I feel like I'm slipping. I
Speaker 1: feel like I'm drifting. I feel like I'm lukewarm. Open
Speaker 1: my eyes, open my ears, open my mouth. And then
Speaker 1: what do we do? We open our Bible. I would
Speaker 1: start a reading plan. I'm on a plan called mac
Speaker 1: Shane reading Plan. Or you could start anywhere, starting John.
Speaker 1: It's a great place to start, so is Matthew. So
Speaker 1: is Genesis. Just just open it and go to John
Speaker 1: one on one one and and right before you hit
Speaker 1: that first verse with your eyes, and after you've prayed
Speaker 1: that prayer of help me, say, God, here's your word.
Speaker 1: I believe that you could speak to me through this word.
Speaker 1: And so even even though I might not feel it
Speaker 1: right away, even though i might still feel lukewarm after
Speaker 1: a month of doing this, I'm going to go for this.
Speaker 1: I'm taking this step to you by reading your word
Speaker 1: open my heart, soften me enlarge my heart so that
Speaker 1: I could receive this, so that so that I could
Speaker 1: get back on track the way I want to be.
Speaker 1: Because I desire to be back on track, I just
Speaker 1: don't feel it. So I'm to open this word. And
Speaker 1: you do this in the morning before you start your day,
Speaker 1: when the mercies are new, and you get a cup
Speaker 1: of coffee or an energy drink whatever you do, or water, okay, water,
Speaker 1: and you open that John one and you go here
Speaker 1: we go and take it slow, aim low. Don't sit
Speaker 1: there and think you're going to read a whole chapter.
Speaker 1: Just read a page, read a paragraph, Read a line,
Speaker 1: Read one line. If you want to aim that low,
Speaker 1: like I'm going to read one line every day. Everyone
Speaker 1: can do that, so aim low. If you don't have
Speaker 1: the emotional space to sit there and read everything, read
Speaker 1: one line, read one paragraph. Start slow, and then after
Speaker 1: you read the paragraph, pray again. All right, God, I
Speaker 1: just read your word. Make it matter to me. Make
Speaker 1: it life saving like it says that it is, and
Speaker 1: I believe that it is. Make it matter to me.
Speaker 1: I need it to matter to me. And then try
Speaker 1: to say that. Prayers any times you can during the day.
Speaker 1: When you're driving, you get the windows down and you
Speaker 1: think about it. It's like, oh yeah, oh yeah, God,
Speaker 1: here I am again. I don't want to be luke warm.
Speaker 1: Bring me back in. Don't let me slip. Don't let
Speaker 1: me do this because I'm a man and I will
Speaker 1: I will start drifting. Don't let me pull me back in.
Speaker 1: Repeat this. Preach this to yourself. All right, Travis, thanks
Speaker 1: for the question. Brother, Let's grab another question. Subject line says,
Speaker 1: why does this happen to me? Hey Granger A huge
Speaker 1: fan of the podcast and your music. I'd like to
Speaker 1: remain anonymous. I'm twenty one years old. I'm in college.
Speaker 1: I've been trying out the dating scene, but there's one
Speaker 1: reoccurring issue. I'm not someone who will jump into things
Speaker 1: or do hookups. I get told by guys they love
Speaker 1: me and they respect me, not wanting to be intimate
Speaker 1: with them, but when we spend time together or go
Speaker 1: on a date, they try to initiate it. I stand
Speaker 1: by my statement and beliefs. This leads them to cut
Speaker 1: things off and leave. This has happened too many times
Speaker 1: to count. My biggest goal in life is to be
Speaker 1: a wife and to get a college degree, but my
Speaker 1: heart aches. Each time I'm let down, I'm left feeling alone.
Speaker 1: I often ask myself what is wrong with me? Any
Speaker 1: advice you could offer is appreciated. Well, you need to
Speaker 1: stop asking the question if anything's wrong with you, because
Speaker 1: you already know there's not, because you're just going by
Speaker 1: your beliefs that you don't need to be someone who's
Speaker 1: hooking up or being intimate. Right, So that's not something
Speaker 1: wrong with you. That's your belief like, that's your value,
Speaker 1: that's your moral standard. So you're standing on a moral
Speaker 1: standard that has nothing to do with right or wrong
Speaker 1: with you. That's the moral standard that's right. It's not
Speaker 1: inherently you anything. It's your moral standard is outside of you.
Speaker 1: It's bigger than you. It's not a flaw in you.
Speaker 1: It's like standing on solid ground. You're standing on solid ground, going,
Speaker 1: why am I not sinking? I'm standing on concrete? Why
Speaker 1: what is wrong with me that I'm not sinking? Right,
Speaker 1: that's what you're you're asking. It's not you that's the problem.
Speaker 1: It's the concrete that's holding you up. You're not gonna sink.
Speaker 1: It's solid ground. That's the moral high ground that you're
Speaker 1: standing on right, So don't question yourself that you're not sinking.
Speaker 1: It's concrete. You're good. That's a good thing. You're supposed
Speaker 1: to stand on the concrete. So keep standing there and go,
Speaker 1: thank god, I'm standing on concrete. Thank God I don't sink.
Speaker 1: Thank God that I have this to lean on. That's
Speaker 1: a good thing. So don't don't ever question that. The
Speaker 1: second thing is you have a reoccurring issue with someone
Speaker 1: that are that wants constantly to do hookups or get
Speaker 1: into with you, even though they don't admit it. First
Speaker 1: I would say again, you're fishing in the wrong pond.
Speaker 1: Work on identifying these guys early on, and you can
Speaker 1: be fooled by them. Understandably, people could trick you all
Speaker 1: the time, but learn what those those key signs are
Speaker 1: at the beginning of the fool. Right, So you start
Speaker 1: finding these red flags like where do you work? What?
Speaker 1: Who are your friends? Look at the friends? Oh, man,
Speaker 1: you can find out a lot from people's friends. You say,
Speaker 1: you meet someone at a restaurant, who's he with? Like?
Speaker 1: Who are those guys? Like? He could put on a front,
Speaker 1: he could trick you. He could put on a mask
Speaker 1: and tell you someone that he's not, but his friends can't.
Speaker 1: So watch the friends. Watch who he's hanging with, how's
Speaker 1: he where's he going to school? Where's he working? Do
Speaker 1: you know anything about a relationship? Does he go to church?
Speaker 1: What church does he go to? Does he go every Sunday?
Speaker 1: Or does he go just on Eastern Christmas? Things that
Speaker 1: you could see early, simple questions you could ask while
Speaker 1: still being nice and not being judgmental. You're not perfect.
Speaker 1: You have a lot of flaws, so does he. So
Speaker 1: you don't have to act like you got everything figured out.
Speaker 1: But you could ask a couple questions and let him
Speaker 1: ask you questions back. Maybe he's trying to figure you
Speaker 1: out too. Look around, you'll see signs. You'll see who
Speaker 1: these guys are. Don't go to Baskin Robbins if you're
Speaker 1: trying to get a steak. If you're hungry for steak
Speaker 1: and potatoes, don't go to Baskin Robbins. They just have
Speaker 1: ice cream. Can't you see that on the sign? Didn't
Speaker 1: you know before you open that door, before you walked
Speaker 1: into the ice cream shop that they sell only ice cream?
Speaker 1: Or did you think they had steak there? They don't.
Speaker 1: When you're hungry for steak. Go to a steakhou, look
Speaker 1: for their friends, look for the signs. It's gonna say
Speaker 1: it right there on the front, right before you open
Speaker 1: the door. I hope that helps you. I think you
Speaker 1: got all the right intentions. Thank y'all for listening. See
Speaker 1: you next Monday. Thanks for joining me on the Granger
Speaker 1: Smith Podcast. I appreciate all of you guys. You could
Speaker 1: help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If
Speaker 1: you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel. Hit that little
Speaker 1: like button and the notification spell so that you never
Speaker 1: miss anytime I upload a video. If you have a
Speaker 1: question for me that you would like me to answer,
Speaker 1: email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com yig