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Speaker 1: If anyone says how are you since you lost your dad,

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Speaker 1: look them straight in the eye and say, man, not

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Speaker 1: too good. Not too good? You want to talk about it?

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Speaker 1: And you go to be honest with you, No, I

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Speaker 1: don't want to talk about it, but since you're a friend,

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Speaker 1: I would say, can you force me to talk about it? Hey, everybody,

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Speaker 1: Welcome to the podcast, Episode one, two seven. Thanks for

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Speaker 1: joining me. Happy Monday. If you're watching real time, this

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Speaker 1: is the podcast where I answer your questions. It could

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Speaker 1: be about anything, any subject. We go super deep. If

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Speaker 1: you want to ask me a question, email Grangersmith podcast

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Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. I'm going to answer it like

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Speaker 1: we are sitting around a campfire and we have a

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Speaker 1: lot of time, and you know that the fire is

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Speaker 1: getting and going down to embers and it's getting late,

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Speaker 1: and you say, hey, I can ask you a question

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Speaker 1: about something, something I've been wondering. I don't always have

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Speaker 1: the right answer, but we'll talk it, talk through it

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Speaker 1: like me and you are friends. And that's the format

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Speaker 1: of this podcast. Because of you, because of your questions,

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Speaker 1: because they've been so good, this has become one of

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Speaker 1: the top podcasts in all of the music genre. So

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Speaker 1: thank you for that. If you're watching on YouTube, make

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Speaker 1: sure you give it a like. If you're watching on

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Speaker 1: or if you're listening on iTunes, make sure you give

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Speaker 1: it a positive review. And it just keeps kicking it

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Speaker 1: back up. Welcome. If you came from a TikTok clip,

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Speaker 1: I appreciate you there too. Also Instagram reels. Let's get

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Speaker 1: to the first question. I have a bunch queued up today.

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Speaker 1: First question, subject line says Orthodoxy verse modern day sounds

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Speaker 1: interesting enough, says Hey Grainger. My name is Taylor. I'm

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Speaker 1: from about an hour north of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. I love

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Speaker 1: the podcast and the candid conversations you have as they

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Speaker 1: come up from the heart. I'm Orthodox and I've grown

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Speaker 1: up in the church since birth, having my baptism, first

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Speaker 1: Holy Communion, consciously going to church every Sunday through college.

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Speaker 1: But as I've gotten older, I find myself struggling with

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Speaker 1: the fine line between my personal relationship with God verse

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Speaker 1: the traditional by the book idea that I've had grown up.

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Speaker 1: Throughout the last five years or so, I've dug into

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Speaker 1: my faith and begun to seek God to strengthen my

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Speaker 1: personal relationship with Him, But I fear that sometimes it

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Speaker 1: draws my attention away from what I've grown up with

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Speaker 1: in my orthodox faith. I've heard you briefly touch on

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Speaker 1: religion verse faith before, and I would love to know

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Speaker 1: more about any advice you might have on how to

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Speaker 1: navigate this and how to confidently seek Him. I appreciate

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Speaker 1: it greatly. God bless you and your family. Taylor. Thank you, Taylor,

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Speaker 1: Thanks for the email. It's a great question. And even

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Speaker 1: though you're right, I've touched on something similar before, I

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Speaker 1: think it doesn't hurt to just go back down this

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Speaker 1: path again. So I want you to know. And so

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Speaker 1: many times when I read your questions anybody's questions, I

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Speaker 1: want you to know that a lot of times you're

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Speaker 1: answering your own question through your question to me, and

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Speaker 1: I could find your answer hidden inside your own question,

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Speaker 1: letting me know that you already kind of know the

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Speaker 1: answer and you're just wanting me to justify it for you.

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Speaker 1: Which is fine, that's fine, That's that's what this podcast

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Speaker 1: is about to me. But you are feeling a tension

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Speaker 1: between a personal relationship with God, which is what, which

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Speaker 1: is what? Christianity essentially is Christianity unlike any other worldly religion,

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Speaker 1: is a relationship with God. Religion is man made. It's

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Speaker 1: not necessarily a bad kind of man made. It's just

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Speaker 1: religion is it's a way that it's a way. If

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Speaker 1: if Christianity is a personal relationship with God, then man

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Speaker 1: makes religion as a way to get there quicker or

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Speaker 1: more efficiently based on your personality, So an orthodox religion

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Speaker 1: would be someone that craves a formal way of going

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Speaker 1: about his or her communication with God. Some there is

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Speaker 1: there's a certain personality trait that needs uh and needs

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Speaker 1: needs to dress up, and needs to be in a

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Speaker 1: really nice atmosphere, a very structured atmosphere at church, a

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Speaker 1: very very a very detailed format of prayer and organization.

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Speaker 1: Some people need that. Others are are way more loose.

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Speaker 1: Others like to wear a T shirt and faded blue

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Speaker 1: jeans to church, and they like to they like to

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Speaker 1: read the Bible and pray on their own time, and

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Speaker 1: they like to be informal with their prayers. Some people

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Speaker 1: like to be superstructured and super formal. So what I'm

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Speaker 1: saying is there's there's not a bad way based on

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Speaker 1: your personality. Because there's so many personalities in this world.

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Speaker 1: There's not a bad way to communicate. But as long

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Speaker 1: as you realize that the ultimate goal is personal relationship

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Speaker 1: with God, what it sounds like through your question, Taylor,

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Speaker 1: is that you are feeling a tension between the Orthodox

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Speaker 1: structure and your personal relationship, which tells me that Orthodox

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Speaker 1: structure is probably not your thing. It's probably not clicking

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Speaker 1: with your mind. Hey, it's the same, it's the same.

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Speaker 1: Look at look at music, look at movies. There's so

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Speaker 1: many different kinds of movies. Why because there's so many

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Speaker 1: different personalities. Like some people like to watch a very

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Speaker 1: serious French award winning something foreign film, and some people

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Speaker 1: like to watch Chris Farley in a really funny, lighthearted comedy.

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Speaker 1: And some people only watch those funny, lighthearted comedies, and

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Speaker 1: some people only watch the award winning winning French movies.

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Speaker 1: That's just because we're all different. Music is the same.

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Speaker 1: Some people like to listen to Beethoven and some people

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Speaker 1: like to listen to kiss you know. And so we

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Speaker 1: structure our communication with God based on our own personal

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Speaker 1: preference and our own our own personal way of life.

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Speaker 1: So if you are feeling attention, that's not a good thing.

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Speaker 1: You are not required to be Orthodox and to be

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Speaker 1: structured and to wear wear really nice clothes. And how

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Speaker 1: do I know this because we look at the disciples,

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Speaker 1: I mean were there were fishermen and carpenters and tax collectors,

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Speaker 1: and they were just all over the map, and and

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Speaker 1: they all came together for one personal relationship. Keep that

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Speaker 1: in mind. Keep that in mind when you think about Peter,

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Speaker 1: think about Paul, Think about any of the disciples and

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Speaker 1: who they were, and what the clothes that they were,

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Speaker 1: and how they worshiped in a field in a wheat field,

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Speaker 1: how they they broke bread in a very casual way,

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Speaker 1: how they they prayed very casually. Read through the Psalms,

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Speaker 1: and through how David is worshiping, and he was very casual,

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Speaker 1: he was he was sounds like more like you, Taylor,

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Speaker 1: And we could find that through the Psalms. It wasn't

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Speaker 1: until later and the Pharisees were doing it at that

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Speaker 1: at the time, by the way, and Jesus didn't like it.

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Speaker 1: But we find out later through our development of the

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Speaker 1: church how we started structuring it. In Revelation, John says,

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Speaker 1: there there actually is no temple in heaven. There is

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Speaker 1: no there is no temple in heaven because we are

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Speaker 1: the church. We are, we are the people, and I

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Speaker 1: feel like we're in heaven. We will worship in in

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Speaker 1: fields and by streams and by rivers and lakes and

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Speaker 1: and and on the streets and out in the woods.

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Speaker 1: I just feel like it's it's it's supposed to be

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Speaker 1: very casual, but I also don't want to take away

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Speaker 1: for the people that need to be very structured, because

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Speaker 1: maybe their life needs to be structured. To your question,

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Speaker 1: I would, I would. I would not let that be attention.

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Speaker 1: I would not worry about that. I would not worry

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Speaker 1: about the way you grew up, the traditional way that

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Speaker 1: you grew up. I would base it more on who

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Speaker 1: you are now as an adult and the way you

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Speaker 1: want to achieve that personal relationship. I hope that answers

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Speaker 1: your question. Email me back if if we want to

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Speaker 1: go deeper into that. Next question is subject line I

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Speaker 1: really like this girl. Hey Gring, your name is James,

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Speaker 1: currently going to college in Arizona. I've been talking to

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Speaker 1: this girl recently who is from back home. She goes

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Speaker 1: to a school nearby. It's not long distance. I recently

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Speaker 1: asked her if she was wanting a relationship now or

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Speaker 1: if she doesn't want one. She said she doesn't want one,

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Speaker 1: but she may want one in the future. Hey, that's obvious, right.

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Speaker 1: You go on to say, I know she's studying abroad

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Speaker 1: for a few weeks this summer, so I don't know

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Speaker 1: if she likes me or if she just wants to

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Speaker 1: wait till this is all over. Because we only see

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Speaker 1: each other for four weeks. We will only see each

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Speaker 1: other for four weeks over the next few months. If

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Speaker 1: she if she likes me or not, I don't know

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Speaker 1: should I wait for this girl? Should I move on

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Speaker 1: not knowing if she likes me or if she's just

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Speaker 1: leading me on? Love your podcast. Thank you, James, Thanks

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Speaker 1: for the question. Once again, I feel like you're answering

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Speaker 1: your own question in your own email to me. If

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Speaker 1: she says if you ask her if she wants a relationship,

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Speaker 1: she says no, she doesn't, that's enough, right, That's enough

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Speaker 1: for her to say to you, I don't really dig

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Speaker 1: you that much because the answer is always obvious. We

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Speaker 1: just don't always see it when we're in it. But

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Speaker 1: if she doesn't want a relationship right now, what she's

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Speaker 1: saying is I don't want a relationship with you because

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Speaker 1: at whatever stage of life she's in, no matter how

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Speaker 1: busy she is, no matter what she's going on with

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Speaker 1: college or working or abroad or studying, whatever she's doing.

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Speaker 1: If she really likes like, if her heart is attached

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Speaker 1: to you, she will make time in that space for you.

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Speaker 1: And she's not willing to do that, which is great

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Speaker 1: for you. You're getting a clear answer. That's really good.

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Speaker 1: You're not getting an ambiguous and ambiguous answer here. She's

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Speaker 1: telling you I don't like you, Okay, that's not saying

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Speaker 1: that she won't in the future sometime, and I don't

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Speaker 1: want I don't want you to cling to that. But

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Speaker 1: I'm assuming she's being super sweet to you and she's

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Speaker 1: probably just a nice person. That's why she says I

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Speaker 1: don't want a relationship. But you're still in this waiting

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Speaker 1: period because she's probably just a nice person and every

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Speaker 1: time you talk to her you think, oh, but she's

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Speaker 1: so nice. But she already gave you an answer, James.

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Speaker 1: So your question is should I move on not knowing

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Speaker 1: if she likes me? Or is she just leading me on?

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Speaker 1: Where are you going? Like? Are you? You? Are you?

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Speaker 1: Are you asking to move on to another girl? Because

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Speaker 1: if that's the case, then that's your own answer to

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Speaker 1: you could find another girl, like there's another one out there.

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Speaker 1: If you are stuck on her, then I would wait

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Speaker 1: on a new relationship until you heal yourself and you

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Speaker 1: become content alone yourself, which would just take time, and

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Speaker 1: I would invest a lot of time and energy in

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Speaker 1: your friends, your guy friends. You're in Arizona. What an

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Speaker 1: amazing place to live, going to college in Arizona. You're

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Speaker 1: living a dream life. And apparently you don't totally know that.

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Speaker 1: You are living a dream life in Arizona right now.

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Speaker 1: Hang out with your buddies, go hiking, go fishing, enjoy

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Speaker 1: this college life. You only get one shot at this,

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Speaker 1: and not a lot of people get this kind of opportunity.

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Speaker 1: I didn't to go to college in Arizona. I didn't

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Speaker 1: get that. So enjoy that, Embrace that, and don't worry

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Speaker 1: about this girl. You asked her if she wants a relationship.

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Speaker 1: Good on you for asking, Good on her for telling

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Speaker 1: you the truth. She does. It's not going to work,

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Speaker 1: at least not right now. Let's move on. Heret this question, says,

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Speaker 1: Hey Grangeer, my name is Mason. I'm sixteen years old

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Speaker 1: from a small town in Oregon. Been a huge fan

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Speaker 1: since I was about ten. I had a quick question.

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Speaker 1: I love Rodeo, It's my life goal and dream, but

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Speaker 1: my parents and family hate it. Do you think I

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Speaker 1: should follow my dreams or try to make my family happy? Thanks? Mason,

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Speaker 1: good question, Thanks for emailing. This question is different if

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Speaker 1: you're saying you're twenty six or thirty six, but you're sixteen,

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Speaker 1: you're still under your parents' roof, so that there's this

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Speaker 1: element of respecting your parents, honoring your parents and how

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Speaker 1: they they want your life to go. That can't change

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Speaker 1: the fact that if your parents hate Rodeo, it's not

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Speaker 1: going to change the fact that you love it. But

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Speaker 1: by honoring them, it changes the dynamic of how you

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Speaker 1: treat it. For instance, how are you how are you

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Speaker 1: having a conversation with your mom? Because the thing about

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Speaker 1: parents is, Mason, they love you and they're looking out

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Speaker 1: for your best interest. So they might be thinking about

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Speaker 1: your financial future in Rodeo. They know it's a tough

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Speaker 1: life too. They might be thinking about getting you getting

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Speaker 1: injured and maybe you hurt your back and that's gonna

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Speaker 1: that's gonna hurt future career moves for you. That's what

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Speaker 1: they're thinking, So, how are you positioning this conversation? Because

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Speaker 1: what if you said, Mom, can I talk with you?

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Speaker 1: And there's no animosity towards her or your dad or

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Speaker 1: your family, But it's more like, Mom, could I talk

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Speaker 1: with you? I love rodeo and it's it's my life dream,

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Speaker 1: it's it's my life passion. I'm I'm so, I'm so

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Speaker 1: in love with this sport and everything about it. How

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Speaker 1: could I work with you so that you could see

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Speaker 1: that I'm going to stay safe and that I'm I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna enjoy this and that enjoyment is more important to

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Speaker 1: me than money in the future, Like what if you

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Speaker 1: had that kind of conversation and if she says absolutely not,

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Speaker 1: say okay, can you go with me to a rodeo sometime?

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Speaker 1: Maybe we could talk to some of the older guys.

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Speaker 1: Maybe we could talk to some of my peers, some

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Speaker 1: of the people I look up to. You could have

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Speaker 1: a conversation with some of the other moms, see what

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Speaker 1: they're thinking, Like what if you brought her into this

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Speaker 1: whole decision thing with you instead of saying, Mom, I

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Speaker 1: love it, I want to do it. I don't care

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Speaker 1: what you say. It changes the dynamic, right, So bring

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Speaker 1: her in, but while honoring her, while respecting the fact

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Speaker 1: that she's just looking after you and she wants the

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Speaker 1: best for you. So see it from that perspective. Mom

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Speaker 1: wants the best for me. Mom knows she's been here

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Speaker 1: on this earth longer than me, So there's an element

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Speaker 1: of that, Like, maybe I should listen a little bit

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Speaker 1: to Mom. Now. I'm not leaning either way on this.

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Speaker 1: I understand having a dream because I had it with music,

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Speaker 1: and I had it at your same age of sixteen.

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Speaker 1: I was all ate up with being on tour and

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Speaker 1: traveling and playing music, and it's very similar. It's an

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Speaker 1: uncertain future, right, I would say, honor her, honor your parents,

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Speaker 1: and bring them in on this whole decision with you.

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Speaker 1: Let them take this journey with you so they could

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Speaker 1: see your love and you could also see their point

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Speaker 1: of view. Subjecline here says tired of being alone. Hey Granger,

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Speaker 1: my name is Carly. I'm from North Carolina. I'm twenty

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Speaker 1: years old. I've never had a boyfriend. I've had guys

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Speaker 1: by me, gifts, lead me on, say they love me,

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Speaker 1: and then hurt me multiple times, but never had a

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Speaker 1: guy ask me out. On a date or pursue me.

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Speaker 1: I've always been embarrassed to tell people that mainly make

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Speaker 1: people because they make fun of me for it. But

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Speaker 1: I'm starting to lose hope. I know there that there

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Speaker 1: was no one perfect, and I don't expect there each

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Speaker 1: guy to be perfect. But they all say they're a Christian,

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Speaker 1: but the way of life they're living is a completely

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Speaker 1: different story. I ask my friends all the time if

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Speaker 1: I'm doing something wrong or if there's something wrong with

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Speaker 1: me that makes no guy want to pursue me, but

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Speaker 1: they say no. I try to keep my standards high,

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Speaker 1: but it's becoming challenging for me because I don't want

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Speaker 1: to be alone anymore. I'm convinced that I'm never going

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Speaker 1: to find a guy that's different, a man that's actually

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Speaker 1: a Christian, or it's after God's own heart. A part

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Speaker 1: of me wants to settle, but I just know that

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Speaker 1: I can't any advice. Carly, my first thing to you

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Speaker 1: is that you're way too young for this to be

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Speaker 1: a huge concern for you. You're starting to wonder if

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Speaker 1: there's ever a guy for you, and you're twenty. I

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Speaker 1: know that twenty the two decades on this earth is

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Speaker 1: a long time, but it's a short time as far

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Speaker 1: as relationships go, like you have so much time ahead

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Speaker 1: of you. I would say partly, it feels like you're

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Speaker 1: fish in the wrong pond you're looking for You're looking

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Speaker 1: for steak at Baskin Robbins, and Baskin Robbins is never

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Speaker 1: gonna sell steak. So stop going there to get full right,

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Speaker 1: because you're just gonna get ice cream there and then

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Speaker 1: you're gonna walk out going Why do I keep getting

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Speaker 1: ice cream? I want a steak. I want to fill

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Speaker 1: my soul with food, and I'm getting ice cream. I

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Speaker 1: would say that's because you're shopping at Baskin Robbins. That's

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Speaker 1: all they sell. So go to a steakhouse. Go to

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Speaker 1: a steakhouse to find the food that you need to

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Speaker 1: fill right. So where would that be? Well, it's not

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Speaker 1: that hard, it's not that hard to think about. I mean,

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Speaker 1: church is one way, right, Go to a church, start

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Speaker 1: start living a life. You say you're a Christian, start

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Speaker 1: living a life pursuing Christ and go full strength into

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Speaker 1: that and then look sideways and see who's going on

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Speaker 1: the same path with you, and you'll find him. You'll

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Speaker 1: find someone that's going the same direction instead of someone

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Speaker 1: passing you by going the opposite direction. And then you say, hey,

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Speaker 1: do you like me? And they say yes, I love you,

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Speaker 1: and then they keep going and you say, why didn't

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Speaker 1: they stop. It's confusing to me that you say you've

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Speaker 1: never had a boyfriend, but you've had guys tell you

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Speaker 1: that they love you. That's strange to me that anyone

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Speaker 1: would say they love you and you've been hurt by this,

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Speaker 1: but they've never asked you on a date. I think

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Speaker 1: you're giving your heart away a little too soon someone

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Speaker 1: that's never asked you on a date, and you're jumping

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Speaker 1: the gun a little bit, allowing yourself to get hurt

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Speaker 1: too early from someone that's not a respectable suitor for you.

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Speaker 1: I would say you deserve better than that. So all

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Speaker 1: that being said, you're twenty. You have so much more

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Speaker 1: life ahead of you. Don't go shopping at Basking Robin's

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Speaker 1: for a stake. Work on being single and content. Preach

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Speaker 1: that to yourself, Preach that to your mind, preach that

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Speaker 1: to your own heart, and say I'm single and I

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Speaker 1: am content. And you might not totally believe it. Deep down,

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Speaker 1: you might not totally believe it, but keep preaching it

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Speaker 1: back at yourself. Wake up in the morning and tell yourself,

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Speaker 1: I'm single. The sun's up today, it's a new day,

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Speaker 1: and I'm content alone. I am content alone. You were

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Speaker 1: born alone and you will die alone. All of you listening,

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Speaker 1: You were born alone and you will die alone. You

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Speaker 1: have to learn to be content alone before you could

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Speaker 1: add someone else to that mix. And when you do,

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Speaker 1: you'll know it and you'll be so attractive to other

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00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:48,680
Speaker 1: people for being content and alone. What is it about

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Speaker 1: that girl? She's so confident, she's so driven. What is

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Speaker 1: it about here? I'll tell you what it is. She's

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Speaker 1: content alone, she's content without you. And then they go, man,

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Speaker 1: I want a part of that. I want a part

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Speaker 1: of that girl. If you're desperate, if you're asking the

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Speaker 1: question out loud, why am I not happy? It shows

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Speaker 1: on your face. People will see that. So pre set

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Speaker 1: to yourself, stop shopping at Baskin Robins, and remember you

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Speaker 1: got a lot of life left ahead of you. Okay,

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Speaker 1: thank you, Carly, thanks for the question. Let's grab one

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Speaker 1: more and take a break. Subdecline Here it says death.

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Speaker 1: Hey granger, my name is Toner. I recently lost my dad,

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Speaker 1: and ever since, I feel like I should be relieved

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Speaker 1: that he's no longer in pain, But another part of

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Speaker 1: me feels like a complete pos for thinking that I

355
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Speaker 1: should be sad. Does this feeling ever go away? I

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Speaker 1: also feel like I shouldn't talk to anyone or go

357
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Speaker 1: out anymore, and I should just stick to myself. Toner

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Speaker 1: Grad email, Man, I've been there. I know your pain,

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Speaker 1: or at least similar pain. None of us could relate

360
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Speaker 1: exactly to each other, but we could. We could be

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Speaker 1: in the same ballpark and I lost my dad and

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Speaker 1: I felt these kind of feelings, and I think I

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Speaker 1: think the first answer that I would give you is

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Speaker 1: that when you ask, I feel like I should be

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Speaker 1: relieved that he's no longer in pain. But another part

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Speaker 1: makes me feel like a pus, thinking then I should

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Speaker 1: be sad. I think you could have both, That's what

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Speaker 1: I would say. I would say, Yes, you could be

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Speaker 1: relieved that your dad's not in pain, and you could

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Speaker 1: also feel sad that he's gone, and you could feel

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Speaker 1: like you want a little more of him and another

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Speaker 1: piece of him back here, and you feel guilty because

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Speaker 1: you're thinking, if I if I'm wanting him back, then

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Speaker 1: I'm wanting him to be in pain again for my

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Speaker 1: own selfish reasons. And I would say reject that thought.

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Speaker 1: It's not a correct thought because the love that you

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Speaker 1: have for your dad is now reflecting in the grief

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00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:01,320
Speaker 1: that you have for him. So the amount, the amount

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Speaker 1: of love that you have for any person that you

380
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:07,000
Speaker 1: lose equals the amount of grief. So if you loved

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Speaker 1: him a lot, you're gonna grieve him a lot. If

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Speaker 1: you didn't love him very much, you're gonna get over

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Speaker 1: him quick. So the sign that you're still sad and

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Speaker 1: you're still grieving tells me you got a great dad.

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Speaker 1: You had a dad that loved you and you loved

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Speaker 1: him a lot. And not a lot of people can

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Speaker 1: say that. Not everyone listening to this podcast could say

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Speaker 1: I love my biological father so much and he loves

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Speaker 1: me so much. Not everyone can say that, and you can.

390
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Speaker 1: So so that there's this idea that there's a you're

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Speaker 1: You're you're part of a small group that is that

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00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:49,280
Speaker 1: is so blessed to have had a loving father. Let

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Speaker 1: yourself grieve, let yourself be sad. Stop telling yourself that

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00:22:53,960 --> 00:23:00,159
Speaker 1: you're a pos. The feeling you're asking that you you

395
00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:02,479
Speaker 1: shouldn't talk to anyone, or you shouldn't go out anymore.

396
00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:06,439
Speaker 1: You shouldn't go out anymore is also normal, and I

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00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:10,359
Speaker 1: would I would go against that is as hard as

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Speaker 1: it is to do. I would say, try to talk

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Speaker 1: to people about it. Try to go out because we

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00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:20,600
Speaker 1: need community. Don't sit at home with the blinds closed,

401
00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:22,959
Speaker 1: thinking about Dad, thinking about the pain he was in

402
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:27,760
Speaker 1: before he died. Go out, force yourself, put on your shoes,

403
00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:31,320
Speaker 1: put on your pants and your shirt. Call your friend

404
00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:33,680
Speaker 1: and say what are you doing tonight? Nothing? Man, We're

405
00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:37,160
Speaker 1: just hanging out on the couch watching a movie. Say

406
00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:42,000
Speaker 1: can I come? And then go there? Show up. Just

407
00:23:42,119 --> 00:23:45,760
Speaker 1: keep showing up every day. Go back out, sit with

408
00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:50,320
Speaker 1: your friends, even if it's just a total distraction. Work

409
00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:51,920
Speaker 1: is a great way to do that too. Dive into

410
00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:56,439
Speaker 1: your work, get busy, get to exercise and get to

411
00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:59,199
Speaker 1: doing some kind of strength training, or go out and

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00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:02,000
Speaker 1: take walks if that's all you could do. Go for

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00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:04,200
Speaker 1: a jog. I'm not a jogger, but go for a

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00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:06,359
Speaker 1: jog if that's what you do. But you got to

415
00:24:06,359 --> 00:24:08,080
Speaker 1: get out, You got to show up. It sounds like

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00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:10,920
Speaker 1: you didn't say when, but it sounds like you're pretty

417
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:14,040
Speaker 1: early on in this process. Maybe you're within the first

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00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:17,360
Speaker 1: year of losing them. If you're in the first year

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Speaker 1: of losing them, Toner, you're right on the path you

420
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:24,080
Speaker 1: need to be, and everything you're feeling is correct. If

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Speaker 1: tomorrow you wake up in a good mood and you're

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00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:33,160
Speaker 1: smiling and laughing and that's the way you feel, don't

423
00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:37,680
Speaker 1: feel guilty that you're smiling and laughing, because that's normal.

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Speaker 1: Because tomorrow night you might be sad again. You might

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00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:44,560
Speaker 1: start taking a shower and start crying in the shower again, right,

426
00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:46,920
Speaker 1: and then you're thinking, what is wrong with me? I'm

427
00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:49,720
Speaker 1: going insane? I was happy an hour ago and now

428
00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:56,280
Speaker 1: I'm crying. Normal, that's normal. Let it happen. Whatever emotions

429
00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:59,480
Speaker 1: are bubbling up inside you, let them come out. Talk

430
00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:03,720
Speaker 1: about it. If anyone says how are you since you

431
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:09,080
Speaker 1: lost your dad, look them straight in the eye and say, man,

432
00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:14,879
Speaker 1: not too good. Not too good? Open up the conversation.

433
00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:17,159
Speaker 1: Oh man, you want to talk about it? And you

434
00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:20,439
Speaker 1: go to be honest with you, No, I don't want

435
00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:23,680
Speaker 1: to talk about it. But since you're a friend, I

436
00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:26,840
Speaker 1: would say, can you force me to talk about it?

437
00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:35,840
Speaker 1: And he'll say yeah, yeah. Any good friend would say yeah,

438
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:39,640
Speaker 1: and you say it's tough man, and just open up,

439
00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:45,320
Speaker 1: be vulnerable. There's no better way. Clamming up, shutting the blind,

440
00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:48,679
Speaker 1: staying home by yourself, telling yourself you're a pos. Your

441
00:25:48,760 --> 00:25:51,600
Speaker 1: dad's not in pain anymore, so don't even think about it.

442
00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:57,119
Speaker 1: That's rough man, that's rough on yourself. Your final question,

443
00:25:57,280 --> 00:26:01,920
Speaker 1: does this feeling ever go away? Yeah, it eases up.

444
00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:04,840
Speaker 1: It's not gonna disappear. You're gonna think about your dad,

445
00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:08,639
Speaker 1: probably every day of your life. But those thoughts go

446
00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:13,280
Speaker 1: from sad thoughts to man, dad would love this restaurant,

447
00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:16,719
Speaker 1: or Dad would love this movie, and then you smile,

448
00:26:18,359 --> 00:26:22,159
Speaker 1: or man, dad loved this hobby. Dad loved fishing. I

449
00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:24,479
Speaker 1: love to fish because my dad loved to fish. And

450
00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:27,640
Speaker 1: I'm living on through He's living on through me. Right,

451
00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:32,560
Speaker 1: That's what's gonna change. The sadness, the crying and the shower,

452
00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:35,000
Speaker 1: the closing the blinds and not wanting to go out. Yeah,

453
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:38,600
Speaker 1: it goes away. You're gonna get better. You don't move on,

454
00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:42,680
Speaker 1: but you move forward, take a break and be right back.

455
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508
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Speaker 1: If you have a question for me for this podcast,

509
00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:45,360
Speaker 1: email Granger Smith Podcast at gmail dot com. Could be

510
00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:49,520
Speaker 1: about any subject. Don't hold back, give me anything. My

511
00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:53,720
Speaker 1: only request is two things. One, you keep your questions

512
00:29:53,760 --> 00:29:57,920
Speaker 1: within about a phone length right so that doesn't get

513
00:29:57,920 --> 00:30:01,680
Speaker 1: too long. And the other request is don't send the

514
00:30:01,720 --> 00:30:05,000
Speaker 1: same email multiple times. I'm going to see it. Trust me,

515
00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:08,080
Speaker 1: it goes into the archive. Trust me. It doesn't help

516
00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:10,280
Speaker 1: you if you send multiple times because the producers will

517
00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:17,800
Speaker 1: just delete it. Next question, septic Line is warrior or Christian? Says, Hey, Granger,

518
00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:20,160
Speaker 1: loved the podcast and everything you put out. I wanted

519
00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:22,080
Speaker 1: to get your input on an issue I've been dealing

520
00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:24,440
Speaker 1: with for a while now. You see, I'm a husband,

521
00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:27,200
Speaker 1: I'm a father of two perfect babies, and I'm a

522
00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:29,920
Speaker 1: state trooper. I've been on the force for two years now,

523
00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:34,200
Speaker 1: and let's just say I'm daylight and dark from what

524
00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:36,440
Speaker 1: I used to be prior to becoming a trooper. I

525
00:30:36,480 --> 00:30:39,400
Speaker 1: find it very difficult to be a warrior while on

526
00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:43,040
Speaker 1: duty and coming home to my family whenever I'm off duty.

527
00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:45,680
Speaker 1: It's hard to flip that switch from being rough and

528
00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:48,480
Speaker 1: tough dude on one side of the highway while dealing

529
00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:50,240
Speaker 1: with a lot of evil in this world to coming

530
00:30:50,280 --> 00:30:53,000
Speaker 1: home and loving on my wife and my kids and

531
00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:55,800
Speaker 1: being present with them. It used to be very easy

532
00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:58,080
Speaker 1: for me. I used to be an easy going guy,

533
00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:02,800
Speaker 1: and now it's like truth be told. I'm sort of soulless,

534
00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:06,480
Speaker 1: or at least it's just let's just say I feel.

535
00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:09,080
Speaker 1: That's how I feel all the time. I lack sympathy

536
00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:12,959
Speaker 1: and empathy, and it's caused a huge strain in my marriage.

537
00:31:14,320 --> 00:31:16,920
Speaker 1: I've been a Christian near my entire life, but really

538
00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:18,920
Speaker 1: the past year I have become very distant from God.

539
00:31:19,400 --> 00:31:21,840
Speaker 1: I know you probably receive a million of these emails,

540
00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:23,800
Speaker 1: but I hope you'll answer this one. I appreciate it, brother,

541
00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:27,880
Speaker 1: Thank you for all you do well. Thank you so much. Man.

542
00:31:30,120 --> 00:31:32,480
Speaker 1: You didn't say, you didn't say anonymous, and your email

543
00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:35,840
Speaker 1: says Dylan, so I'll call you Dylan. Thanks for the email, brother,

544
00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:38,680
Speaker 1: and thank you for your service. None of us could

545
00:31:38,680 --> 00:31:43,560
Speaker 1: ever discount what you do on these streets and keeping

546
00:31:43,800 --> 00:31:48,840
Speaker 1: keeping everyone safe is is incredible, and it's it's an

547
00:31:48,880 --> 00:31:53,480
Speaker 1: honor for you to ask me this question. I don't

548
00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:55,600
Speaker 1: want to dismiss it because I think I think everything

549
00:31:55,600 --> 00:31:59,840
Speaker 1: you're saying is as accurate, and I feel you that

550
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:01,640
Speaker 1: that One of the first things I would do is

551
00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:09,160
Speaker 1: to seek wise counsel within law enforcement. I think that

552
00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:11,520
Speaker 1: there's a lot of people on the force, in your

553
00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:16,280
Speaker 1: department and other departments that have men and women that

554
00:32:16,320 --> 00:32:20,680
Speaker 1: are older than you, that have grandkids, that could help

555
00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:23,120
Speaker 1: walk through some of your questions better than I can,

556
00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:26,280
Speaker 1: because I can't relate exactly to what you're saying, So

557
00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:29,240
Speaker 1: I would seek wise counsel and I would seek it often.

558
00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:35,360
Speaker 1: I would say, Hey, so and so, could I have

559
00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:40,200
Speaker 1: coffee with you on Wednesday at eight am? There's some

560
00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:43,200
Speaker 1: stuff I want to get off my chest. And he says, yeah, absolutely,

561
00:32:43,240 --> 00:32:45,479
Speaker 1: And you come in and you meet him at eight

562
00:32:45,480 --> 00:32:49,200
Speaker 1: o'clock on Wednesday for coffee, and you dump all this

563
00:32:49,400 --> 00:32:53,720
Speaker 1: on him and make sure he's older and wiser and

564
00:32:54,320 --> 00:32:55,800
Speaker 1: has done this for a long time and he's a

565
00:32:55,840 --> 00:32:58,560
Speaker 1: family man just like you. And I would pour this

566
00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:02,560
Speaker 1: on him and just see what he says. And then

567
00:33:02,600 --> 00:33:04,600
Speaker 1: I would make a routine to do it every Wednesday

568
00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:07,760
Speaker 1: or every Monday or whenever. I would make a routine

569
00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:12,720
Speaker 1: to constantly seek wise counsel and go to your chief

570
00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:16,760
Speaker 1: say the same thing, Say Chief, I love my job.

571
00:33:16,880 --> 00:33:19,080
Speaker 1: I always have. You know me, You know I work hard,

572
00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:20,840
Speaker 1: you know I love what I do. But is there

573
00:33:20,840 --> 00:33:23,720
Speaker 1: anyone I could talk to about flipping that switch back

574
00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:28,240
Speaker 1: to my family? It's the departments are supposed to be

575
00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:31,400
Speaker 1: set up this way where they can provide counsel for you.

576
00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:36,400
Speaker 1: But I would also seek it out yourself and just say, hey,

577
00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:39,680
Speaker 1: mister so and so, I respect you so much. You've

578
00:33:39,680 --> 00:33:42,320
Speaker 1: been doing this for so long. Could I pick your

579
00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:46,720
Speaker 1: brain on how you've done it so successfully with maintaining

580
00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:49,760
Speaker 1: family life and work and having that balance. Can I

581
00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:54,920
Speaker 1: talk to you? Surely someone's gonna say, Dylan, Absolutely, absolutely.

582
00:33:55,480 --> 00:33:59,720
Speaker 1: And then if you're still in the force, you pay

583
00:33:59,760 --> 00:34:03,760
Speaker 1: this back to another young guy, another guy with young

584
00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:07,280
Speaker 1: kids at home, and this is the trend that we do.

585
00:34:07,320 --> 00:34:11,200
Speaker 1: This is that's how we reciprocate in life, and you

586
00:34:11,280 --> 00:34:13,799
Speaker 1: seek him out. When you're older, you seek them out.

587
00:34:13,840 --> 00:34:16,120
Speaker 1: Maybe you could do this now. Maybe there's rookies in

588
00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:19,080
Speaker 1: there right now that you could seek out and you

589
00:34:19,120 --> 00:34:22,319
Speaker 1: can go, hey, man, how are you doing. Oh, I'm

590
00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:25,319
Speaker 1: doing great. No, I mean how you doing at home? Like,

591
00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:28,759
Speaker 1: how are you balancing working home? And they say, I'm

592
00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:32,359
Speaker 1: still learning. You go, let's go grab some coffee. Want

593
00:34:32,400 --> 00:34:35,600
Speaker 1: talk about it. Because the crazy thing is when you

594
00:34:35,640 --> 00:34:38,279
Speaker 1: do that, when you're trying to pay it forward like that,

595
00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:41,359
Speaker 1: you're gonna learn a lot about yourself. And you're gonna

596
00:34:41,360 --> 00:34:44,359
Speaker 1: hear this young guy asking you questions and inside you're

597
00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:47,839
Speaker 1: gonna go, I resonate with that. I feel that I

598
00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:50,480
Speaker 1: get that, and then you'll be able to answer him.

599
00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:53,239
Speaker 1: And so funny because in life when we answer other

600
00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:56,359
Speaker 1: people with things that they're dealing with, like me on

601
00:34:56,400 --> 00:34:59,560
Speaker 1: this podcast, when we answer, we're gonna be a lot

602
00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:03,319
Speaker 1: whise and our answers to someone else, and a lot

603
00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:06,319
Speaker 1: more honest than we are with our own self our

604
00:35:06,360 --> 00:35:09,040
Speaker 1: own questions. It's harder for us to be honest with

605
00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:14,359
Speaker 1: ourselves and to give ourselves the hard, cold truth, the good,

606
00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:18,560
Speaker 1: solid advice to ourselves. It's harder to do that than

607
00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:21,000
Speaker 1: it is to give it to someone else. Isn't that weird?

608
00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:25,360
Speaker 1: Because we know the advice is solid, but when we

609
00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:27,359
Speaker 1: tell it to ourselves, it's harder to do it. It's

610
00:35:27,360 --> 00:35:33,200
Speaker 1: harder to hear it. One thing that occurred to me

611
00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:35,480
Speaker 1: when I was reading your email is that there is

612
00:35:35,520 --> 00:35:39,279
Speaker 1: the thing. There is a thing, Dylan, there is an

613
00:35:39,280 --> 00:35:44,360
Speaker 1: element of this that maybe you don't need to do

614
00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:48,040
Speaker 1: this anymore. If it's causing friction in your marriage, if

615
00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:50,680
Speaker 1: it's causing you to not be present with your children,

616
00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:53,239
Speaker 1: and it's causing you to be distant with God, and

617
00:35:53,320 --> 00:35:58,480
Speaker 1: you know that the direct cause of this is the job,

618
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:02,840
Speaker 1: and it's not something that you could deal with with

619
00:36:02,920 --> 00:36:07,000
Speaker 1: yourself internally. If it's not that, if it is just

620
00:36:07,160 --> 00:36:10,239
Speaker 1: the job and things that you're seeing that's hardening your

621
00:36:10,320 --> 00:36:15,560
Speaker 1: heart and making you too rough and tough that you

622
00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:19,280
Speaker 1: can't flip the switch. You need to really ask yourself

623
00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:24,719
Speaker 1: if it's time for a career change or not. That's

624
00:36:24,719 --> 00:36:29,239
Speaker 1: the hard question that you are going to wrestle with now.

625
00:36:29,640 --> 00:36:33,600
Speaker 1: Is is this the right move for me as a dad?

626
00:36:33,640 --> 00:36:37,520
Speaker 1: It used to be this was my dream. I'm serving

627
00:36:37,560 --> 00:36:41,520
Speaker 1: my state as a trooper. I'm serving our people, our community,

628
00:36:41,840 --> 00:36:45,200
Speaker 1: and I've always wanted this. But back then when I

629
00:36:45,239 --> 00:36:47,560
Speaker 1: had that dream, I also wasn't a father and I

630
00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:52,240
Speaker 1: wasn't a husband. And now it's hurting my relationship with God.

631
00:36:53,160 --> 00:36:57,600
Speaker 1: I feel distant, I feel cold. It's maybe it's time

632
00:36:57,640 --> 00:37:00,719
Speaker 1: for a career change. And maybe that's what one of

633
00:37:00,719 --> 00:37:05,880
Speaker 1: these wise counsels will tell you at coffee. Maybe they'll say, Dylan,

634
00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:10,720
Speaker 1: you're speaking like a man that needs a new job,

635
00:37:10,880 --> 00:37:15,480
Speaker 1: a new passion. It might be tough to hear that.

636
00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:19,600
Speaker 1: It might be tough to tell yourself that, But that's

637
00:37:19,640 --> 00:37:22,560
Speaker 1: kind of what your email is leaning to. And I

638
00:37:22,640 --> 00:37:24,759
Speaker 1: know this, this is a very important question to you.

639
00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:27,760
Speaker 1: I know it is. I can tell by your rhetoric,

640
00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:31,480
Speaker 1: and I know that you want so badly to hear

641
00:37:31,520 --> 00:37:34,920
Speaker 1: from me on this, and I would say, you're going

642
00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:37,320
Speaker 1: to wrestle with this question of maybe a career change.

643
00:37:38,120 --> 00:37:41,880
Speaker 1: But regardless, wise counsel immediately from people that are in

644
00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:48,719
Speaker 1: the force. And then, first and foremost, before all that,

645
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:52,759
Speaker 1: you take it to God before anything I said. You

646
00:37:53,320 --> 00:37:56,680
Speaker 1: say this email right here. You say this to God.

647
00:37:57,880 --> 00:37:59,759
Speaker 1: And it goes back to our very first question about

648
00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:04,640
Speaker 1: being orthodox. Hey, God could take it like this. God

649
00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:08,719
Speaker 1: could take it just like this. Hey, God, you have

650
00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:11,160
Speaker 1: given me the gift of being a husband and a

651
00:38:11,160 --> 00:38:14,120
Speaker 1: father of two perfect babies. And you've given me You've

652
00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:16,320
Speaker 1: given the passion in my heart to become a state trooper.

653
00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:18,279
Speaker 1: You gave me that a long ago. I've been on

654
00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:22,160
Speaker 1: the force two years off. Somebody say I'm changed. I

655
00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:24,879
Speaker 1: find it very difficult, God, to be a warrior while

656
00:38:24,960 --> 00:38:28,120
Speaker 1: on duty and coming home to my family. I find

657
00:38:28,120 --> 00:38:30,160
Speaker 1: it hard to flip that switch on being a rough

658
00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:33,720
Speaker 1: and tough dude on the highway and then dealing with

659
00:38:33,760 --> 00:38:36,759
Speaker 1: my wife and kids when I come home. God, what

660
00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:40,640
Speaker 1: do I do? Give me the desires of my heart.

661
00:38:40,760 --> 00:38:42,719
Speaker 1: Lead me in the right direction. I'm about to call

662
00:38:42,760 --> 00:38:46,719
Speaker 1: some people for wise counsel. Lead me to these men.

663
00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:48,960
Speaker 1: Lead me to the people that are going to give

664
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:51,640
Speaker 1: me the wise counsel at coffee, and then give me

665
00:38:51,719 --> 00:38:54,680
Speaker 1: the courage to hear them, because I know God that

666
00:38:54,760 --> 00:38:58,040
Speaker 1: you could speak through them, and that's what you do,

667
00:38:58,120 --> 00:39:00,960
Speaker 1: You speak through people. So give me the courage to

668
00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:03,719
Speaker 1: hear what they're gonna say, and then give me even

669
00:39:03,760 --> 00:39:06,200
Speaker 1: more courage to do it when I believe that they're

670
00:39:06,200 --> 00:39:11,280
Speaker 1: telling the truth to me. I hope that answers your question. Buddy.

671
00:39:11,360 --> 00:39:13,160
Speaker 1: Thank you for it, and thank you for your service.

672
00:39:17,440 --> 00:39:20,080
Speaker 1: Let's flip here. Subject line says dealing with a mama's boy.

673
00:39:20,760 --> 00:39:24,560
Speaker 1: Hey Grangeo'd like to stay anonymous. I'm from Troy, North Carolina.

674
00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:28,400
Speaker 1: I'm nineteen. My boyfriend is twenty. We've been together for

675
00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:31,239
Speaker 1: three years. I started to feel like this might not

676
00:39:31,320 --> 00:39:34,040
Speaker 1: be the right relationship for me. I feel like my

677
00:39:34,120 --> 00:39:36,440
Speaker 1: boyfriend is too much of a mama's boy. Don't get

678
00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:39,239
Speaker 1: me wrong, there's absolutely nothing wrong with the son having

679
00:39:39,239 --> 00:39:42,080
Speaker 1: a good relationship with his mother, but he depends on

680
00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:45,360
Speaker 1: her for everything. I've noticed recently. He values my opinion

681
00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:48,520
Speaker 1: less and does not include me on big decisions. He

682
00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:51,560
Speaker 1: will do almost anything she says, no matter what the situation,

683
00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:55,520
Speaker 1: even when it includes me. He used to tell me everything,

684
00:39:55,600 --> 00:39:58,479
Speaker 1: but here lately he doesn't tell me anything. I find

685
00:39:58,480 --> 00:40:01,120
Speaker 1: myself happier and more or at peace when we are

686
00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:04,520
Speaker 1: not together. Over the past four months, I've been thinking

687
00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:07,120
Speaker 1: about ending things with him, but I'm not sure if

688
00:40:07,160 --> 00:40:09,640
Speaker 1: I should. What advice do you have? Do you think

689
00:40:09,680 --> 00:40:12,279
Speaker 1: I'm being selfish? He is supposed to be moving out

690
00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:15,040
Speaker 1: of his parents. How soon should I stay to see

691
00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:17,680
Speaker 1: if anything changes? Or walk away? Now? Much love to

692
00:40:17,719 --> 00:40:20,799
Speaker 1: you and your family. Thank you Anonymous, and shout out

693
00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:23,279
Speaker 1: to North Carolina. I believe that's the second one for

694
00:40:23,360 --> 00:40:28,400
Speaker 1: North Carolina. Hey, it's a legit it's a very legit question,

695
00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:32,719
Speaker 1: and you're nineteen. A lot of life ahead of you.

696
00:40:35,480 --> 00:40:37,640
Speaker 1: I'm gonna guess and say, a lot of relationships ahead

697
00:40:37,640 --> 00:40:43,320
Speaker 1: of you too. I think a couple of things. I

698
00:40:43,400 --> 00:40:47,240
Speaker 1: think First, he's twenty years old and he's still living

699
00:40:47,239 --> 00:40:51,319
Speaker 1: with his parents. Of course, he's a mama's boy like

700
00:40:51,440 --> 00:40:54,520
Speaker 1: that shouldn't be a surprise to you. He's only twenty

701
00:40:55,320 --> 00:40:58,000
Speaker 1: Last year he was a teenager, and he's still living

702
00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:02,040
Speaker 1: with his parents. Of Course, he's going to include his

703
00:41:02,080 --> 00:41:07,880
Speaker 1: mom in decisions in his life. You're asking if you

704
00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:11,200
Speaker 1: should wait and see what happens when he moves out.

705
00:41:11,719 --> 00:41:14,440
Speaker 1: Maybe it's time to take a break from this relationship.

706
00:41:15,080 --> 00:41:18,200
Speaker 1: You are not happy, you're not at peace with him.

707
00:41:18,719 --> 00:41:22,880
Speaker 1: Why are you staying if you're not happy and not

708
00:41:22,920 --> 00:41:25,719
Speaker 1: at peace? Why are you trying to fix this guy?

709
00:41:25,800 --> 00:41:28,239
Speaker 1: And I don't even think there's anything necessarily wrong with him,

710
00:41:29,080 --> 00:41:32,680
Speaker 1: But what are you doing? Why are you emailing me

711
00:41:33,040 --> 00:41:35,879
Speaker 1: telling me you're not at peace, you're not happy, you're

712
00:41:35,920 --> 00:41:40,480
Speaker 1: thinking about ending it. It sounds like you're wanting this

713
00:41:41,120 --> 00:41:45,840
Speaker 1: project of a boy that hopefully things are going to

714
00:41:45,920 --> 00:41:48,680
Speaker 1: work out and he's going to move out from mom's

715
00:41:48,680 --> 00:41:51,239
Speaker 1: house and you're going to work on him to be

716
00:41:51,280 --> 00:41:53,640
Speaker 1: a man. He needs to do that on his own.

717
00:41:54,719 --> 00:41:57,000
Speaker 1: You can't help him be a man. You can't help

718
00:41:57,080 --> 00:42:00,479
Speaker 1: him become more independent. You can't help him get away

719
00:42:00,480 --> 00:42:02,799
Speaker 1: from Mama and start listening to you instead of her.

720
00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:05,799
Speaker 1: That's the wrong intentions anyway. You're not going to get

721
00:42:05,800 --> 00:42:10,759
Speaker 1: anywhere with that. It's not going to fix You're not

722
00:42:10,800 --> 00:42:12,799
Speaker 1: going to get this done like you want to. And

723
00:42:12,880 --> 00:42:15,680
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter if he moves out, because what then

724
00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:17,759
Speaker 1: are you going to become the mom when he moves

725
00:42:17,760 --> 00:42:19,680
Speaker 1: out from his mom? Are you going to become the

726
00:42:19,719 --> 00:42:25,920
Speaker 1: new mom. You're asking questions to me like you're married.

727
00:42:27,040 --> 00:42:30,680
Speaker 1: You're expecting as a girlfriend to be involved in every

728
00:42:30,719 --> 00:42:34,080
Speaker 1: decision he makes, including the big ones, including the ones

729
00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:36,880
Speaker 1: with you. When that's too high of an expectation for

730
00:42:36,920 --> 00:42:40,319
Speaker 1: a twenty year old who's not married. He doesn't need

731
00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:44,200
Speaker 1: to include you in everything he doesn't, including things that

732
00:42:44,280 --> 00:42:46,799
Speaker 1: have to do with you. He doesn't have to involve you,

733
00:42:47,719 --> 00:42:51,480
Speaker 1: and it is understandable that he involves his mom. Like

734
00:42:51,520 --> 00:42:56,080
Speaker 1: I said, he lives with her. So I'm not calling

735
00:42:56,120 --> 00:42:59,120
Speaker 1: you out and I'm not calling him out. I think

736
00:42:59,160 --> 00:43:02,480
Speaker 1: this is a normal situation between a twenty year old

737
00:43:02,520 --> 00:43:05,000
Speaker 1: and a nineteen year old, and I think it's time

738
00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:09,480
Speaker 1: for you to have an honest conversation with him and

739
00:43:09,560 --> 00:43:14,120
Speaker 1: tell him how you feel without being hateful or judgmental,

740
00:43:14,640 --> 00:43:16,640
Speaker 1: and don't call him out on being a mama's boy.

741
00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:21,359
Speaker 1: Just say, hey, I feel like I feel like you

742
00:43:21,560 --> 00:43:26,799
Speaker 1: are on the verge of being an independent man and

743
00:43:26,920 --> 00:43:29,279
Speaker 1: on your own and I don't want to hinder that

744
00:43:29,320 --> 00:43:32,680
Speaker 1: from you. To be honest, I haven't been totally happy

745
00:43:33,080 --> 00:43:36,560
Speaker 1: and I haven't been in peace with this relationship. So

746
00:43:36,640 --> 00:43:38,920
Speaker 1: I would propose that we take a break for a

747
00:43:38,920 --> 00:43:42,239
Speaker 1: little bit. Let you have time to move out, Let

748
00:43:42,320 --> 00:43:44,879
Speaker 1: you have time to start your life, to pay your

749
00:43:44,880 --> 00:43:49,919
Speaker 1: own rent, and then we stay in touch. We stay

750
00:43:49,920 --> 00:43:53,960
Speaker 1: in contact and we see how this goes. But Anonymous,

751
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:56,239
Speaker 1: it's important for you to know that you are not

752
00:43:56,360 --> 00:43:59,160
Speaker 1: his mother, and you will not replace his mother, and

753
00:43:59,280 --> 00:44:03,719
Speaker 1: don't even plan to. He's got a lot of life

754
00:44:03,719 --> 00:44:06,239
Speaker 1: ahead of him. Let a twenty year old be a

755
00:44:06,280 --> 00:44:10,880
Speaker 1: twenty year old. Don't expect a twenty year old to

756
00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:13,400
Speaker 1: act like a thirty year old man. That's what it

757
00:44:13,440 --> 00:44:17,480
Speaker 1: sounds like. It's like you're watching a movie of about

758
00:44:17,480 --> 00:44:19,919
Speaker 1: a relationship of a thirty year old man and you're going,

759
00:44:20,600 --> 00:44:23,920
Speaker 1: why doesn't my guy act like that? Because the other

760
00:44:23,920 --> 00:44:27,839
Speaker 1: guy's got ten years on him. And if you're looking

761
00:44:27,840 --> 00:44:30,839
Speaker 1: at other twenty year olds, hey, they're all progressing at

762
00:44:30,840 --> 00:44:33,799
Speaker 1: different rates. They're all growing and maturing at different rates,

763
00:44:33,840 --> 00:44:36,279
Speaker 1: so you can't compare another twenty year old. He might

764
00:44:36,280 --> 00:44:38,680
Speaker 1: be light years ahead of your boyfriend, but that's just

765
00:44:39,480 --> 00:44:41,319
Speaker 1: where he is in life right now. If it's gonna

766
00:44:41,560 --> 00:44:45,200
Speaker 1: it'll all even out in another ten years. I hope

767
00:44:45,200 --> 00:44:47,200
Speaker 1: that makes sense. I think it's time for a break

768
00:44:50,719 --> 00:44:53,719
Speaker 1: all right, Let's grab another one here. Subject line here

769
00:44:53,760 --> 00:44:56,040
Speaker 1: says struggling with faith. Hey grangeer, I'll try to make

770
00:44:56,080 --> 00:44:58,760
Speaker 1: this quick. My name is Travis. I'm from southern Ohio.

771
00:44:59,000 --> 00:45:01,440
Speaker 1: I'm twenty five years old, married and have a beautiful

772
00:45:01,440 --> 00:45:04,640
Speaker 1: baby girl. The backstory to what I'm struggling with is

773
00:45:04,680 --> 00:45:06,600
Speaker 1: I grew up in a Christian home. I've been a

774
00:45:06,640 --> 00:45:11,439
Speaker 1: believer in my entire life. I attend church regularly, even

775
00:45:11,480 --> 00:45:14,239
Speaker 1: became known as the preacher man at work with my

776
00:45:14,280 --> 00:45:16,680
Speaker 1: other guy friends that come to advice from me when

777
00:45:16,719 --> 00:45:19,920
Speaker 1: they struggle. But lately I've been falling away from God,

778
00:45:20,520 --> 00:45:24,440
Speaker 1: struggle with belief, having doubts, feeling lukewarm in my faith.

779
00:45:24,800 --> 00:45:26,680
Speaker 1: How do I get back on track? What would be

780
00:45:28,160 --> 00:45:31,239
Speaker 1: Why would I be losing beliefs that I was so

781
00:45:31,320 --> 00:45:37,360
Speaker 1: extremely steadfast of all of a sudden. Travis, thank you,

782
00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:41,400
Speaker 1: brother shout out to Ohio. Thanks for the question. I

783
00:45:41,400 --> 00:45:46,800
Speaker 1: think it's a good one. When we're feeling lukewarm in

784
00:45:46,840 --> 00:45:50,040
Speaker 1: our faith, this is where the psalms come in so

785
00:45:50,800 --> 00:45:54,839
Speaker 1: handy in the Bible. The first thing we recognize when

786
00:45:54,880 --> 00:45:57,279
Speaker 1: we become lukewarm in our faith and we need to

787
00:45:57,400 --> 00:46:02,120
Speaker 1: get back on track is we need to recognize that

788
00:46:02,280 --> 00:46:09,360
Speaker 1: we as humans aren't capable of fully going to God

789
00:46:09,600 --> 00:46:15,960
Speaker 1: ever anyway, what yeah, So what do we do? We

790
00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:20,240
Speaker 1: reflect what the psalms say and we say God, open

791
00:46:20,320 --> 00:46:25,279
Speaker 1: my mouth and I'll praise you. Open my eyes so

792
00:46:25,320 --> 00:46:28,640
Speaker 1: that I could see your truth. Open my ears so

793
00:46:28,680 --> 00:46:31,680
Speaker 1: I can hear you. And then just say God, because

794
00:46:31,719 --> 00:46:35,440
Speaker 1: I'm not able. I'm not capable of opening my mouth

795
00:46:35,880 --> 00:46:39,080
Speaker 1: or opening my eyes or opening my ears, but you are.

796
00:46:39,840 --> 00:46:42,920
Speaker 1: So I'm bringing this to you. I feel lukewarm. So

797
00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:45,840
Speaker 1: fill me with your truth. Open my eyes, open my mouth,

798
00:46:45,840 --> 00:46:48,719
Speaker 1: and I'll praise you. Don't let me slip, don't let

799
00:46:48,760 --> 00:46:51,800
Speaker 1: me drift, pull me back in, Draw me into you, God,

800
00:46:52,880 --> 00:46:56,920
Speaker 1: draw me to you, and I'll follow. But I'm just

801
00:46:56,960 --> 00:47:01,799
Speaker 1: a man. Have mercy on me, have mercy on me,

802
00:47:02,280 --> 00:47:07,520
Speaker 1: a sinner. That's what the tax collector said. Draw me

803
00:47:07,560 --> 00:47:11,000
Speaker 1: back to you. That's your prayer. And then the way

804
00:47:11,040 --> 00:47:13,839
Speaker 1: that we listen to him, the way he speaks is

805
00:47:13,840 --> 00:47:17,719
Speaker 1: through the Bible. And I've said this before. We have

806
00:47:17,800 --> 00:47:21,120
Speaker 1: this feeling sometimes, like this pagan feeling, like God's gonna

807
00:47:21,120 --> 00:47:23,560
Speaker 1: speak through the wind, or he's going to speak through

808
00:47:23,719 --> 00:47:26,560
Speaker 1: writing letters in the clouds. Or he's going to speak

809
00:47:26,560 --> 00:47:30,560
Speaker 1: through road signs, and I'm gonna see certain words appear

810
00:47:30,640 --> 00:47:32,880
Speaker 1: to me because God's speaking through that way. No, he

811
00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:37,000
Speaker 1: doesn't do that. He could do anything, but the way

812
00:47:37,040 --> 00:47:39,919
Speaker 1: that he speaks the majority of the time is through

813
00:47:40,040 --> 00:47:44,800
Speaker 1: his living, breathing word, the Bible. So we say the prayer,

814
00:47:44,840 --> 00:47:47,279
Speaker 1: like I said, God, I feel like I'm slipping. I

815
00:47:47,280 --> 00:47:51,040
Speaker 1: feel like I'm drifting. I feel like I'm lukewarm. Open

816
00:47:51,080 --> 00:47:54,480
Speaker 1: my eyes, open my ears, open my mouth. And then

817
00:47:54,520 --> 00:48:00,239
Speaker 1: what do we do? We open our Bible. I would

818
00:48:00,280 --> 00:48:03,040
Speaker 1: start a reading plan. I'm on a plan called mac

819
00:48:03,120 --> 00:48:07,720
Speaker 1: Shane reading Plan. Or you could start anywhere, starting John.

820
00:48:08,360 --> 00:48:12,040
Speaker 1: It's a great place to start, so is Matthew. So

821
00:48:12,239 --> 00:48:16,080
Speaker 1: is Genesis. Just just open it and go to John

822
00:48:16,160 --> 00:48:20,440
Speaker 1: one on one one and and right before you hit

823
00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:23,680
Speaker 1: that first verse with your eyes, and after you've prayed

824
00:48:23,680 --> 00:48:28,240
Speaker 1: that prayer of help me, say, God, here's your word.

825
00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:32,000
Speaker 1: I believe that you could speak to me through this word.

826
00:48:32,040 --> 00:48:34,400
Speaker 1: And so even even though I might not feel it

827
00:48:34,480 --> 00:48:38,319
Speaker 1: right away, even though i might still feel lukewarm after

828
00:48:38,360 --> 00:48:41,279
Speaker 1: a month of doing this, I'm going to go for this.

829
00:48:41,760 --> 00:48:44,160
Speaker 1: I'm taking this step to you by reading your word

830
00:48:45,160 --> 00:48:50,360
Speaker 1: open my heart, soften me enlarge my heart so that

831
00:48:50,400 --> 00:48:53,560
Speaker 1: I could receive this, so that so that I could

832
00:48:53,640 --> 00:48:55,960
Speaker 1: get back on track the way I want to be.

833
00:48:55,960 --> 00:48:58,120
Speaker 1: Because I desire to be back on track, I just

834
00:48:58,160 --> 00:49:01,160
Speaker 1: don't feel it. So I'm to open this word. And

835
00:49:01,239 --> 00:49:03,880
Speaker 1: you do this in the morning before you start your day,

836
00:49:03,920 --> 00:49:05,680
Speaker 1: when the mercies are new, and you get a cup

837
00:49:05,760 --> 00:49:11,000
Speaker 1: of coffee or an energy drink whatever you do, or water, okay, water,

838
00:49:11,960 --> 00:49:14,120
Speaker 1: and you open that John one and you go here

839
00:49:14,120 --> 00:49:17,600
Speaker 1: we go and take it slow, aim low. Don't sit

840
00:49:17,640 --> 00:49:19,200
Speaker 1: there and think you're going to read a whole chapter.

841
00:49:20,040 --> 00:49:23,680
Speaker 1: Just read a page, read a paragraph, Read a line,

842
00:49:23,760 --> 00:49:25,600
Speaker 1: Read one line. If you want to aim that low,

843
00:49:25,680 --> 00:49:28,320
Speaker 1: like I'm going to read one line every day. Everyone

844
00:49:28,360 --> 00:49:32,120
Speaker 1: can do that, so aim low. If you don't have

845
00:49:32,840 --> 00:49:37,319
Speaker 1: the emotional space to sit there and read everything, read

846
00:49:37,320 --> 00:49:42,160
Speaker 1: one line, read one paragraph. Start slow, and then after

847
00:49:42,200 --> 00:49:45,000
Speaker 1: you read the paragraph, pray again. All right, God, I

848
00:49:45,040 --> 00:49:50,440
Speaker 1: just read your word. Make it matter to me. Make

849
00:49:50,480 --> 00:49:52,319
Speaker 1: it life saving like it says that it is, and

850
00:49:52,360 --> 00:49:55,560
Speaker 1: I believe that it is. Make it matter to me.

851
00:49:56,560 --> 00:49:59,279
Speaker 1: I need it to matter to me. And then try

852
00:49:59,280 --> 00:50:01,080
Speaker 1: to say that. Prayers any times you can during the day.

853
00:50:01,080 --> 00:50:05,080
Speaker 1: When you're driving, you get the windows down and you

854
00:50:05,080 --> 00:50:09,200
Speaker 1: think about it. It's like, oh yeah, oh yeah, God,

855
00:50:10,080 --> 00:50:12,399
Speaker 1: here I am again. I don't want to be luke warm.

856
00:50:12,440 --> 00:50:15,359
Speaker 1: Bring me back in. Don't let me slip. Don't let

857
00:50:15,440 --> 00:50:17,560
Speaker 1: me do this because I'm a man and I will

858
00:50:18,440 --> 00:50:21,200
Speaker 1: I will start drifting. Don't let me pull me back in.

859
00:50:22,440 --> 00:50:27,439
Speaker 1: Repeat this. Preach this to yourself. All right, Travis, thanks

860
00:50:27,440 --> 00:50:36,040
Speaker 1: for the question. Brother, Let's grab another question. Subject line says,

861
00:50:36,080 --> 00:50:38,080
Speaker 1: why does this happen to me? Hey Granger A huge

862
00:50:38,080 --> 00:50:39,920
Speaker 1: fan of the podcast and your music. I'd like to

863
00:50:39,960 --> 00:50:42,680
Speaker 1: remain anonymous. I'm twenty one years old. I'm in college.

864
00:50:43,040 --> 00:50:45,719
Speaker 1: I've been trying out the dating scene, but there's one

865
00:50:45,840 --> 00:50:49,360
Speaker 1: reoccurring issue. I'm not someone who will jump into things

866
00:50:49,440 --> 00:50:52,160
Speaker 1: or do hookups. I get told by guys they love

867
00:50:52,200 --> 00:50:54,480
Speaker 1: me and they respect me, not wanting to be intimate

868
00:50:54,520 --> 00:50:57,960
Speaker 1: with them, but when we spend time together or go

869
00:50:58,000 --> 00:51:00,960
Speaker 1: on a date, they try to initiate it. I stand

870
00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:04,479
Speaker 1: by my statement and beliefs. This leads them to cut

871
00:51:04,480 --> 00:51:07,560
Speaker 1: things off and leave. This has happened too many times

872
00:51:07,560 --> 00:51:09,680
Speaker 1: to count. My biggest goal in life is to be

873
00:51:09,719 --> 00:51:12,239
Speaker 1: a wife and to get a college degree, but my

874
00:51:12,360 --> 00:51:16,120
Speaker 1: heart aches. Each time I'm let down, I'm left feeling alone.

875
00:51:16,239 --> 00:51:19,040
Speaker 1: I often ask myself what is wrong with me? Any

876
00:51:19,080 --> 00:51:24,960
Speaker 1: advice you could offer is appreciated. Well, you need to

877
00:51:24,960 --> 00:51:27,160
Speaker 1: stop asking the question if anything's wrong with you, because

878
00:51:27,160 --> 00:51:30,719
Speaker 1: you already know there's not, because you're just going by

879
00:51:30,920 --> 00:51:34,600
Speaker 1: your beliefs that you don't need to be someone who's

880
00:51:34,640 --> 00:51:39,160
Speaker 1: hooking up or being intimate. Right, So that's not something

881
00:51:39,200 --> 00:51:43,239
Speaker 1: wrong with you. That's your belief like, that's your value,

882
00:51:43,880 --> 00:51:47,200
Speaker 1: that's your moral standard. So you're standing on a moral

883
00:51:47,239 --> 00:51:49,760
Speaker 1: standard that has nothing to do with right or wrong

884
00:51:50,840 --> 00:51:55,520
Speaker 1: with you. That's the moral standard that's right. It's not

885
00:51:55,560 --> 00:52:01,160
Speaker 1: inherently you anything. It's your moral standard is outside of you.

886
00:52:01,760 --> 00:52:05,440
Speaker 1: It's bigger than you. It's not a flaw in you.

887
00:52:05,719 --> 00:52:10,680
Speaker 1: It's like standing on solid ground. You're standing on solid ground, going,

888
00:52:11,120 --> 00:52:15,720
Speaker 1: why am I not sinking? I'm standing on concrete? Why

889
00:52:16,239 --> 00:52:18,560
Speaker 1: what is wrong with me that I'm not sinking? Right,

890
00:52:18,600 --> 00:52:22,400
Speaker 1: that's what you're you're asking. It's not you that's the problem.

891
00:52:22,440 --> 00:52:25,320
Speaker 1: It's the concrete that's holding you up. You're not gonna sink.

892
00:52:25,719 --> 00:52:28,600
Speaker 1: It's solid ground. That's the moral high ground that you're

893
00:52:28,640 --> 00:52:32,680
Speaker 1: standing on right, So don't question yourself that you're not sinking.

894
00:52:33,160 --> 00:52:37,080
Speaker 1: It's concrete. You're good. That's a good thing. You're supposed

895
00:52:37,120 --> 00:52:40,799
Speaker 1: to stand on the concrete. So keep standing there and go,

896
00:52:40,920 --> 00:52:43,680
Speaker 1: thank god, I'm standing on concrete. Thank God I don't sink.

897
00:52:45,160 --> 00:52:48,319
Speaker 1: Thank God that I have this to lean on. That's

898
00:52:48,360 --> 00:52:53,560
Speaker 1: a good thing. So don't don't ever question that. The

899
00:52:53,640 --> 00:52:56,360
Speaker 1: second thing is you have a reoccurring issue with someone

900
00:52:56,560 --> 00:52:59,759
Speaker 1: that are that wants constantly to do hookups or get

901
00:52:59,760 --> 00:53:02,320
Speaker 1: into with you, even though they don't admit it. First

902
00:53:03,520 --> 00:53:06,480
Speaker 1: I would say again, you're fishing in the wrong pond.

903
00:53:08,239 --> 00:53:14,440
Speaker 1: Work on identifying these guys early on, and you can

904
00:53:14,520 --> 00:53:18,160
Speaker 1: be fooled by them. Understandably, people could trick you all

905
00:53:18,200 --> 00:53:22,400
Speaker 1: the time, but learn what those those key signs are

906
00:53:22,440 --> 00:53:25,760
Speaker 1: at the beginning of the fool. Right, So you start

907
00:53:26,400 --> 00:53:31,680
Speaker 1: finding these red flags like where do you work? What?

908
00:53:32,200 --> 00:53:34,839
Speaker 1: Who are your friends? Look at the friends? Oh, man,

909
00:53:34,960 --> 00:53:37,799
Speaker 1: you can find out a lot from people's friends. You say,

910
00:53:37,840 --> 00:53:41,920
Speaker 1: you meet someone at a restaurant, who's he with? Like?

911
00:53:42,000 --> 00:53:45,240
Speaker 1: Who are those guys? Like? He could put on a front,

912
00:53:45,960 --> 00:53:48,440
Speaker 1: he could trick you. He could put on a mask

913
00:53:48,520 --> 00:53:51,879
Speaker 1: and tell you someone that he's not, but his friends can't.

914
00:53:52,320 --> 00:53:55,320
Speaker 1: So watch the friends. Watch who he's hanging with, how's

915
00:53:55,360 --> 00:53:59,160
Speaker 1: he where's he going to school? Where's he working? Do

916
00:53:59,200 --> 00:54:02,480
Speaker 1: you know anything about a relationship? Does he go to church?

917
00:54:03,560 --> 00:54:06,000
Speaker 1: What church does he go to? Does he go every Sunday?

918
00:54:06,320 --> 00:54:09,759
Speaker 1: Or does he go just on Eastern Christmas? Things that

919
00:54:09,840 --> 00:54:13,959
Speaker 1: you could see early, simple questions you could ask while

920
00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:17,280
Speaker 1: still being nice and not being judgmental. You're not perfect.

921
00:54:18,080 --> 00:54:21,040
Speaker 1: You have a lot of flaws, so does he. So

922
00:54:21,080 --> 00:54:23,399
Speaker 1: you don't have to act like you got everything figured out.

923
00:54:23,440 --> 00:54:26,359
Speaker 1: But you could ask a couple questions and let him

924
00:54:26,400 --> 00:54:28,680
Speaker 1: ask you questions back. Maybe he's trying to figure you

925
00:54:28,719 --> 00:54:33,480
Speaker 1: out too. Look around, you'll see signs. You'll see who

926
00:54:33,480 --> 00:54:36,680
Speaker 1: these guys are. Don't go to Baskin Robbins if you're

927
00:54:36,680 --> 00:54:40,360
Speaker 1: trying to get a steak. If you're hungry for steak

928
00:54:40,400 --> 00:54:43,160
Speaker 1: and potatoes, don't go to Baskin Robbins. They just have

929
00:54:43,280 --> 00:54:47,479
Speaker 1: ice cream. Can't you see that on the sign? Didn't

930
00:54:47,520 --> 00:54:49,399
Speaker 1: you know before you open that door, before you walked

931
00:54:49,440 --> 00:54:53,360
Speaker 1: into the ice cream shop that they sell only ice cream?

932
00:54:53,640 --> 00:54:56,319
Speaker 1: Or did you think they had steak there? They don't.

933
00:54:57,680 --> 00:55:01,480
Speaker 1: When you're hungry for steak. Go to a steakhou, look

934
00:55:01,520 --> 00:55:04,359
Speaker 1: for their friends, look for the signs. It's gonna say

935
00:55:04,400 --> 00:55:06,040
Speaker 1: it right there on the front, right before you open

936
00:55:06,080 --> 00:55:12,279
Speaker 1: the door. I hope that helps you. I think you

937
00:55:12,360 --> 00:55:16,239
Speaker 1: got all the right intentions. Thank y'all for listening. See

938
00:55:16,239 --> 00:55:18,800
Speaker 1: you next Monday. Thanks for joining me on the Granger

939
00:55:18,840 --> 00:55:21,919
Speaker 1: Smith Podcast. I appreciate all of you guys. You could

940
00:55:21,920 --> 00:55:25,000
Speaker 1: help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If

941
00:55:25,040 --> 00:55:28,240
Speaker 1: you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel. Hit that little

942
00:55:28,440 --> 00:55:31,359
Speaker 1: like button and the notification spell so that you never

943
00:55:31,520 --> 00:55:34,840
Speaker 1: miss anytime I upload a video. If you have a

944
00:55:34,960 --> 00:55:36,880
Speaker 1: question for me that you would like me to answer,

945
00:55:37,280 --> 00:55:42,160
Speaker 1: email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com yig