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Speaker 1: The volume.

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Speaker 2: or visitfanduel dot com slash RG. All right, we're excited

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Speaker 2: to welcome on for this episode of Jenkins and Jones

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Speaker 2: and Friends a guy I think everyone feels like they're

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Speaker 2: friends with on Twitter, Solomon Missouri the pastor himself.

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Speaker 3: Solomon. Thanks for hopping on, man, We really appreciate you.

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Speaker 1: Thank you all for having me.

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Speaker 2: So we have to open up you already know. We

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Speaker 2: have to open up with the legendary Twitter thread, which

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Speaker 2: I would actually put Like if there was like a

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Speaker 2: museum for like the greatest works of art in human history,

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Speaker 2: you'd have like Michelangelo's David, some painting by Da Vinci,

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Speaker 2: and that thread would have to be in there. Bro,

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Speaker 2: Just please for those who I mean, I know everyone's

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Speaker 2: seen our dramatic reading of it. I know everyone's seen

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Speaker 2: the Twitter thread, but can you just put us in?

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Speaker 2: Was there, like, was the light shining on you from above?

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Speaker 2: What was that moment like when you were firing that

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Speaker 2: thing off?

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Speaker 4: Bro?

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Speaker 1: Man, No, I was in Pizza hook, real real, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I was like eating a personal pan pizza and like

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Speaker 1: I said, it was like Bill Curry about to get

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Speaker 1: the like them. You've been married for like fifty years.

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Speaker 1: You don't need to get divorced. That's like the last

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Speaker 1: thing you need. Like, if you're gonna do anything, don't

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Speaker 1: get divorced. Man, this hat for you. And so I'm

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Speaker 1: like eating like random slices of like personal pant pizzas

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Speaker 1: and drinking like pepsi and stuff or whatever, and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: this man is having the worst moment of his life.

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Speaker 1: Like in public. And the killer part about it was

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Speaker 1: it was like a gospel Christian station that I saw

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Speaker 1: the like the breakup frum or whatever. And I was like, man,

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Speaker 1: I just need to like be in prayer for dude

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Speaker 1: because dude but about to go through it. And so

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Speaker 1: I was like, man, I don't know if you're gonna

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Speaker 1: see this. So if you ain't gonna see this or whatever,

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Speaker 1: but if you do see this, man, I just need

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Speaker 1: to like, man, warn you now, like this ain't for you.

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Speaker 1: You're not You're not that guy they don't carry Like

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Speaker 1: I can understand that.

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Speaker 2: Baby.

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Speaker 1: This is like you know somebody you know like Mookie

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Speaker 1: Waylock or uh you know, like I don't know, Muggy

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Speaker 1: Bowl or a Laws of Morning, like oh yeah, you

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Speaker 1: know I was on that that Charlotte team and you know,

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Speaker 1: like I feel to leave now everybody know me. Dell Curry,

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Speaker 1: you are just like okay from the you know, from

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Speaker 1: the arc. I mean, you are not the person that

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Speaker 1: we the Wes we know you because of your son, right,

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Speaker 1: we know Seth Curry more than we know Dell. And

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Speaker 1: so I was like, man, it's gonna be like a

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Speaker 1: really you know, an interesting time for you out here

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Speaker 1: in these streets said like tapping on sixty, bro, I legit,

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Speaker 1: no exaggerational, how probably. I think that is the single

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Speaker 1: greatest threat in Twitter history. I think this Nigga eat

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Speaker 1: beans is the single greatest tweet has the single greatest threat.

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Speaker 1: Like as someone myself who has you know, tweeted out

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Speaker 1: you know, classical viral shit, did you know you had

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Speaker 1: something special by like the fourth or fifth tweeting because

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Speaker 1: that's usually what it kind of ends. Now y'all can

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Speaker 1: see like I kind of tweet like that anyway. It's all.

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Speaker 4: A bit of.

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Speaker 1: Madness and a bit of like whimsy and a pinch

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Speaker 1: of humor and a pinch of like mother with as

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Speaker 1: my my dad would call it. I mean, it's all

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Speaker 1: it's all in that in the gumbo together whatever. So

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Speaker 1: I don't really care if it goes viral or not.

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Speaker 1: I mean I've been literally tweeting like that for a decade,

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Speaker 1: right right right, Yeah, that's the thing, Like people will

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Speaker 1: will fucking you know, hit you up, and you're like, oh,

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Speaker 1: you're just trying to go viral, bro, We've been on

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Speaker 1: this ship for like fifteen years, and go with viral sucks.

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Speaker 1: I propise you that is not the goal when we

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Speaker 1: are getting these tweets off dog Like once you hit

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Speaker 1: one hundred o K with like a thread or with

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Speaker 1: a tweet, it's not no money that comes with it.

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Speaker 1: It's just attention and annoyance.

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Speaker 4: A bunch of right right, right right? Did you? I

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Speaker 4: mean what was there?

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Speaker 2: Like?

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Speaker 4: Did you enjoy it?

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Speaker 2: I mean people obviously had a lot of fun with it?

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Speaker 2: Or when you saw people when you saw like our

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Speaker 2: video doing it, do you at some point be like,

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Speaker 2: how many people are making money off this funny thing?

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Speaker 3: I folsted like like was that fun for you? Or

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Speaker 3: was it annoying?

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Speaker 2: At some point?

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Speaker 1: It's only annoying when it like leaves a certain neighborhood,

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Speaker 1: like right when it when it like leaves your audience

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Speaker 1: and leaves the people that you know and like and like.

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Speaker 1: It's and it's misconstrued, and people like take things entirely

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Speaker 1: in a way that can be perceived sociologically versus with humor,

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Speaker 1: versus with like with with the wit that it was

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Speaker 1: like constructed with. That's when it becomes annoying because I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I'm what I'm not going to do is let you

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Speaker 1: misconstrue my words and my ideas. I know what I'm doing.

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Speaker 1: I don't know you, and I don't know what you're doing,

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Speaker 1: but I know what I'm doing.

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Speaker 4: How much of it have you experienced? Bro?

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Speaker 5: There was a lot of examples of why that man,

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Speaker 5: you know what I'm saying, to stay with the woman

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Speaker 5: of his youth.

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Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: You talking about, like how much of the dating situation?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, every single thing, all of it, all of them.

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Speaker 5: You know, they trying, they trying to big you, trying

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Speaker 5: to bick you out here.

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Speaker 1: If you're out here, you're gonna run into some people

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Speaker 1: who have like different preferences and like different expressions of

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Speaker 1: desire and all that kind of good stuff or whatever.

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Speaker 1: And like it's cool because like you with everything until

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Speaker 1: you not with every right, You're really not with everything.

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Speaker 1: So you like you think you wanted it once, but

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Speaker 1: then she'd be like, nah, I really wanted it one not.

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Speaker 4: Exactly.

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Speaker 1: We need to stop. Do you know if dell or

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Speaker 1: or Steph or the Curry's got one that has anything

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Speaker 1: come back to you on that end? No, thank goodness,

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Speaker 1: because you know I'm in North Carolina.

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Speaker 4: Oh, you're right, Like I.

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Speaker 1: Would hate to have to try to fight one of

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Speaker 1: them fish relate flavored people. So I don't want no

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Speaker 1: smoke from the curries, none of that. It's all in

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Speaker 1: good jokes. I pray for you daily, homeboy. I want

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Speaker 1: you to get all the res that you can get.

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Speaker 1: I hope that you and your family come back to

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Speaker 1: y'all because I see who y'all dating nine. It's not

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Speaker 1: where it's it, so yeah.

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Speaker 2: I would try. Okay, let me reg a little news

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Speaker 2: to you. I know that Seth has seen it and

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Speaker 2: thought it was funny. Okay, I could pass that on

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Speaker 2: to you, and I don't know about the rest of

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Speaker 2: the family, but knowing a little bit about the curries,

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Speaker 2: I think that that would be received in good humor

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Speaker 2: at least by the boys, which, as you have noted,

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Speaker 2: that's all you really got to worry about anyway, That's all.

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Speaker 1: It's all I'm worried about. That's all I'm worried about.

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Speaker 1: I just want y'all to have a little Joki joke,

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Speaker 1: laugh a little bit because your dad out here in

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Speaker 1: the streets now, and then you know, let's keep it movment.

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Speaker 1: Having half a Thanksgiving.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, ain't nothing funnier than your pop's trying

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Speaker 4: to be cool.

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Speaker 1: I feel like every sun has seen their dad go

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Speaker 1: through that stage, and bro, it is if it's not hilarious,

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Speaker 1: it's sad.

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Speaker 4: And this was hilarious, you know, yeah it was.

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Speaker 1: There is a form of humor in that bit of

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Speaker 1: tragedy because it's I mean, at the at the end

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Speaker 1: of the day, like it is heartbreaking, right, Like that's

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Speaker 1: your family, you know, that's that's the people who raise

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Speaker 1: you and people who love you and people who taught

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Speaker 1: you how to love, and so like you don't want

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Speaker 1: to see them unhappy, but you also don't want to

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Speaker 1: like see them broken up either, So like I get

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Speaker 1: both sides of the argument. But man, if you're gonna

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Speaker 1: be out here at the game.

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Speaker 6: And skinny jeans, niggas, yeah you know what I mean,

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Speaker 6: like a.

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Speaker 4: Big bill buckle. No, yeah, none of that. Well I do.

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Speaker 3: I do feel like, you know, we want to get

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Speaker 3: to know you a little bit.

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Speaker 2: And then I know, we did a little mail bag,

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Speaker 2: so we've got Tyler's got some questions for you from

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Speaker 2: readers who want genuine advice, but I we just want

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Speaker 2: to get to know you a little better because you

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Speaker 2: are one of our favorite people on Twitter, and I

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Speaker 2: feel like, having followed you for a while, that Twitter

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Speaker 2: thread was kind of representative of who it seems to

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Speaker 2: me like you are, and that it was funny, but

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Speaker 2: it also did genuinely come from a place of like

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Speaker 2: love and compassion that like, the sympathy for that man really.

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Speaker 3: Comes through on the thread. That kind of seems to

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Speaker 3: be who you are on Twitter.

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Speaker 2: Like you're like us, You're funny, you like having fun,

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Speaker 2: but you could tell that there's a thought process and

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Speaker 2: kind of a heart behind what you're doing. So does

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Speaker 2: that come from being a pastor? Like, like, you know,

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Speaker 2: what sort of your background in terms of having that

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Speaker 2: kind of approach on an app where obviously some people

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Speaker 2: just go on and tweet pictures of poop or whatever.

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Speaker 3: Right, Like, there's all different kinds of people on Twitter.

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Speaker 2: So how did you kind of arrive at being who

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Speaker 2: you are through the course of your life?

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Speaker 1: I think that one of the things that I try

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Speaker 1: to reinforce in my persona, and you know, to be

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Speaker 1: honest with you, there are aspects of like Twitter space

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Speaker 1: that is a persona, right because they don't get to

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Speaker 1: know all of me, and you know, there's only people

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Speaker 1: who are in my life and who I choose to

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Speaker 1: allow them to share that space emotionally, that gets to

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Speaker 1: know all of me, but we share some space and

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Speaker 1: we share some some context. One of the things that

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Speaker 1: I am intentional about doing is being pastoral, So that

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Speaker 1: is being a vector or a space for care, concern, consideration,

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Speaker 1: and compassion, but not being a space of condemnation. You

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Speaker 1: do not need that, right, people don't need that. And

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Speaker 1: the relationships that we have with people who are pastory, preachery,

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Speaker 1: churchy is a place of well, they're cool up until

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Speaker 1: a point, and people are always kind of watchful or

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Speaker 1: worrisome about where that place is. Where is the place

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Speaker 1: that it's going to be the point of condemnation or

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Speaker 1: contention or where you're going to say, I have been like,

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Speaker 1: this is where you're going to criticize me or critique mes. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's not my purpose here. My purpose is to make

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Speaker 1: sure that you have a space where you can be

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Speaker 1: and know that there are individuals who I don't have

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Speaker 1: to know you. I don't have to like see you

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Speaker 1: on the streets or whatever, but in real and intentional ways,

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Speaker 1: I am concerned about you. I hope that you're doing well.

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Speaker 1: I hope that you are flourishing. I hope that you

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Speaker 1: are finding your way in the madness of it all.

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Speaker 1: I hope that you are seeing felt and heard. And

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Speaker 1: so I try to emphasize the ways that my faith,

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Speaker 1: which is a hope, right, My faith is a hope.

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Speaker 1: It's not a set of regulations. It's not a set

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Speaker 1: of rules. My faith is a hope for humanity. The

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Speaker 1: ways that my hope can be expressed to people that

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Speaker 1: I come in contact with, and I come in contact

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Speaker 1: with like a lot of y'all on Twitter. So that's

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Speaker 1: what I do.

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Speaker 5: I might still be in church if I had a

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Speaker 5: pastor like you, dude, you know what I'm saying, Like

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Speaker 5: your approach is extremely abnormal. You know what I'm saying

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Speaker 5: to your calling, you know, especially in the Bible belt,

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Speaker 5: you feel what I'm saying.

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Speaker 4: What inspired that ah I.

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Speaker 6: Can read reading is like very helpful concerning not presenting

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Speaker 6: and not occupying an intellectual space that is full of regressiveness, bigotry, hatred,

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Speaker 6: and a anti intellectual bent.

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Speaker 1: And so it is possible for me to occupy spaces

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Speaker 1: where I can hope for the divine and hope for

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Speaker 1: the divine in my fellow human but also occupy space

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Speaker 1: where I believe in the divine revealing itself in different

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Speaker 1: ways through different people that don't share my understanding and

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Speaker 1: don't share my experiences. So I can have a, as

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Speaker 1: they say, belief in God, but not have a belief

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Speaker 1: in bigotry. So I'm a vivid reader. I'm reading like

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Speaker 1: all of this right now. I am a person who

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Speaker 1: likes to engage. I like to be the dumbest person

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Speaker 1: in the roomful of smart people. I want to be

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Speaker 1: in that space where we are where like I am

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Speaker 1: building with folks intellectually and that's and for some preachers

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Speaker 1: that that's not their thing. They were like, they got

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Speaker 1: the Bible and that's it. That's this is good for them.

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Speaker 1: And I'm like, that's not good for me, because right

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Speaker 1: we can't allow our prejudice and a particularly particularly screwed

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Speaker 1: reading of a book that's thousands of years old to

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Speaker 1: dictate how humans are going to be forever. That's just

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Speaker 1: not the way that that humanity works.

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Speaker 5: Have you received any any any hate it all like

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Speaker 5: being that you approach it in a different way.

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Speaker 4: Have you seen any like blowback? And how do you

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Speaker 4: deal with that?

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Speaker 1: If you have Oh yeah, yeah, I mean people tell

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Speaker 1: me all the time I'm not a good Christian. I'm

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Speaker 1: a worker of iniquity, as I was told on last Thursday.

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Speaker 4: Really is this a person on on on Twitter emails

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Speaker 4: like people.

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Speaker 1: Come to my church, people like run up on me,

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Speaker 1: just you don't just any if they see me and

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Speaker 1: they're like you look familiar. Whatever. If you go one

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Speaker 1: or two ways, it could be like, oh man, you awesome,

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Speaker 1: or it could be like, oh man, you know you

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Speaker 1: leading people astraight. I've been known to lead people astray.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, well, I never wanted you to follow me.

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Speaker 1: That's where am I? Where would you like me to

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Speaker 1: lead you to?

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Speaker 4: Right? Right? Right right?

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Speaker 1: So yeah, I get all kind of pushback. But anytime

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Speaker 1: that you're asking people to do something beyond their bigotries

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Speaker 1: and beyond their biases, there are always gonna be some pushback,

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Speaker 1: right So especially for me, who's I am a southern guy.

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Speaker 1: I like being in North Carolina is as far north

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Speaker 1: as I'm going.

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Speaker 4: This is it.

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Speaker 1: I can't do it. I don't do the cold. I

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Speaker 1: got this best off, but I swear it's like seventy

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Speaker 1: degrees today. I'm just I'm just.

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Speaker 5: Not like wherever they take the sugar out with sweet tea.

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Speaker 5: You ain't fucking with it, bro.

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Speaker 1: I can't do it. Like I went to Virginia like

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Speaker 1: two times and I was like, nah, this is not

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Speaker 1: for me. The energy changes. I was like, this ain't

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Speaker 1: what I'm trying to you know, be at and so.

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Speaker 1: But I also understand that there is a particular strain

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Speaker 1: of anti intellectualism and and reading of the Bible and

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Speaker 1: the books within the Bible that lends towards a an

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Speaker 1: ignorance and a like sustained ignorance. Like it's like you dumb,

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Speaker 1: but you want to stay dumb, And that's not what

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Speaker 1: I'm actually attempting to do. I like, I want people

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Speaker 1: who think that of themselves. It's like faithful to be

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Speaker 1: well read and to be like curious, like to be curious,

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Speaker 1: because think about it, faith is the premise that there

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Speaker 1: is something beyond what you can know and what you

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Speaker 1: can see. There is an inherent curiosity in the idea

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Speaker 1: of faith itself. So why are the people who think

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Speaker 1: of themselves as having faith not curious? Boa coming back, well,

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Speaker 1: why do you personally think you know, as a man

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Speaker 1: of the cloth, why do you think that so many

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Speaker 1: people will lean into religion to justify their bigotry. It's

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Speaker 1: a safe space. It also secures and certifies power. It

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Speaker 1: justifies our abuses. It tells us that we are right

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Speaker 1: and makes other people wrong. It others and then when

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Speaker 1: and by the function of othering, it also occupies our

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Speaker 1: little club, our little clique. It makes us the good

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Speaker 1: ones and others the bad ones. For example, I mean,

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Speaker 1: you hear about people all the time, like oh, you know,

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Speaker 1: the drag brunch or the drag show, or like the

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Speaker 1: drag queens doing like the reading you know, like kids

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Speaker 1: books at the school or whatever, and you're like thinking, oh, man,

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Speaker 1: that's so awful. You know, they shouldn't the drag queen

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Speaker 1: shouldn't be doing it, this and the third. But but

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Speaker 1: like think no, but actually think about it. The number

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Speaker 1: of pastors that have been accused of sexually assaulting children,

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Speaker 1: abusing children, abusing their position, abusing or sexually assaulting women, Like,

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Speaker 1: it's in astronomical numbers, right, even if you're just looking

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Speaker 1: at one denomination to the other. Maptis Church they have

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Speaker 1: like had over six hundred ministers who were accused of

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Speaker 1: sexually assaulting like women and children, and you're thinking, man,

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Speaker 1: out of autumn, six hundred people and not one I

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Speaker 1: was a dragin out of autumn people who they were

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Speaker 1: talking about are so dangerous for children to see and

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Speaker 1: so danger for children to be in contact with. All

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Speaker 1: of them were people who wear the cloth wear suits.

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Speaker 1: Are supposed to be respecting members of the community. Our teachers,

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Speaker 1: our lawyers, our doctors, our preachers. They are not the

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Speaker 1: individuals that they that are painted to be the dangers

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Speaker 1: to society. And my question is, could it be possible

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Speaker 1: that because we have painted people who have queer identities

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Speaker 1: as enemies to family, as enemies to children, as enemies

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Speaker 1: to like the nuclear conceptions of what of what we

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Speaker 1: should be have, we made ourselves vulnerable to people who

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Speaker 1: are actually predators in our community. Like from a realistic standpoint,

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Speaker 1: we don't have any kind of equipment to protect ourselves

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Speaker 1: and protect our ideas because we're so big into it.

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Speaker 1: It's actually being anti intellectual is a danger.

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Speaker 2: I've got to I mean, first of all, I'm so

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Speaker 2: glad we had you on the show because the three

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Speaker 2: of us love talking about shit like this, So this.

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Speaker 4: Is right, this is great.

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Speaker 2: The Twitter thread was great, but I'm like really excited

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Speaker 2: to talk about this. I have a question for you,

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Speaker 2: and if you'll bear with me, I need to share

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Speaker 2: like a minute or two about my wife and I

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Speaker 2: to sort of arrive at why I would ask a question. So,

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Speaker 2: my wife is racially mixed, but she's basically half Japanese

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Speaker 2: and half black, and she grew up in What I

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Speaker 2: would say is she grew up Presbyterian, very active in

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Speaker 2: the church. Her dad was like her dad's Japanese okay

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Speaker 2: now went from Hawaii and was like a very important

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Speaker 2: senior person in his church, helped to hire people. But

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Speaker 2: it was basically a very progressive Japanese Presbyterian church. And

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Speaker 2: on the black side of her family, a lot of

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Speaker 2: Seventh day Adventists, very conservative about about you know, LGBTQ issues,

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Speaker 2: everything else. But my wife is like very progressive. She's

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Speaker 2: exactly who you're describing you would hope Christians would be.

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Speaker 2: She was a religious studies major at UCLA. She went

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Speaker 2: she literally was like, I just want to learn more

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Speaker 2: about how people think of these issues because she thinks

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Speaker 2: about them a lot.

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Speaker 4: And I would always ask her.

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Speaker 2: I grew up in a family of sort of defected

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Speaker 2: Catholics for some of the reasons that you describe, Like,

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Speaker 2: if I'm going to this church and now I know

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Speaker 2: that this priest was doing.

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Speaker 3: This stuff, well, what's the what's the probe?

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Speaker 2: Right? And so my question to her that was basically

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Speaker 2: passed now and I guess through my parents, was always

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Speaker 2: what is the value of being contained in this word

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Speaker 2: Christian with.

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Speaker 4: All these people?

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Speaker 2: Like she feels exactly as you described about being frustrated

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Speaker 2: about the bigotry and stuff that people out of convenience

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Speaker 2: would attach to the name Christianity. And I would always say, well,

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Speaker 2: doesn't that bother you? You know, like, why would you

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Speaker 2: want to put that word on yourself if you seevangelical

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Speaker 2: white Christians doing all this stuff? Right? And she, you know,

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Speaker 2: I mean basically, it's not like there's no right or

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Speaker 2: wrong answer on either side of it. Obviously, that was

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Speaker 2: always kind of the question I had for her, and

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Speaker 2: her answer was basically that being within that sort of umbrella,

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Speaker 2: she didn't feel associated with those people because of the word.

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Speaker 2: But I'm kind of curious for you as a pastor

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Speaker 2: or your thoughts on that, because you clearly do see

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Speaker 2: yourself as standing apart from these other negative strains of

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Speaker 2: how people would use a shared faith that they might

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Speaker 2: have with you. So is that something that bothers you?

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Speaker 2: Is that something that you think about, I guess morally

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Speaker 2: as opposed to just sort of like the.

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Speaker 3: Actions that you're taking. I'm just curious for your thoughts

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Speaker 3: on that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, So let me give you three things. One grateful

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Speaker 1: for your journey and grateful for your wife's journey. That's

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Speaker 1: important to acknowledge that we are all having like these

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Speaker 1: conversations because people discount that I'm actually still occupying the

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Speaker 1: space known as church because I believe in hope, and

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Speaker 1: I believe that in many cases, church spaces can be

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Speaker 1: a place or a vector of intentional good. Now, that

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Speaker 1: does not disqualify or negate the real harm that churches

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Speaker 1: have done and allowed to be done because they thought

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Speaker 1: they were saving themselves by not actually calling out and

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Speaker 1: calling people to be accountable for their harm. That does

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Speaker 1: not negate that, that does not disqualify, that, that does

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Speaker 1: not erase that who I am in pursuit of the

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Speaker 1: integrity or the socratic space that Jesus the Christ occupied,

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Speaker 1: and that socratic space, that questioning space is how do

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Speaker 1: institutions that have retained power serve the marginalized. There's a

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Speaker 1: question of the gospel, and that question of the gospel

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Speaker 1: is what do we do with the least of these?

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Speaker 1: Do we ignore them, do we overlook them? Or do

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Speaker 1: we bring the margins to the middle. The only place

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Speaker 1: where I see that question as the engine of their

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Speaker 1: actions and purposes is the church. It's not evident in

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Speaker 1: our businesses. It's not evident in our governments, it's not

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Speaker 1: evident in our social organizations. The only place where I

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Speaker 1: see the question of how do we make the marginalized

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Speaker 1: the middle is the church. And so then it's a

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Speaker 1: question of power. Third name, how do we democratize power

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Speaker 1: so that it reprioritizes those who have been farmed into

436
00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:37,320
Speaker 1: direct action? Given direct action, given a sense of direction

437
00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:41,720
Speaker 1: and influence over resources. Tangible resource. I'm not talking about

438
00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:43,960
Speaker 1: like just being ahead of something at a church. I'm

439
00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:47,719
Speaker 1: talking about if you have a million dollars, the person

440
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:51,120
Speaker 1: who is affected the most is in charge of the

441
00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:55,320
Speaker 1: vision that we have for the tangible resources in order

442
00:23:55,600 --> 00:24:01,720
Speaker 1: to say how this best effects and best serves the community.

443
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:06,000
Speaker 1: There is no other place that that question should be. Now,

444
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:09,760
Speaker 1: it's not always because I mean listen, I understand that

445
00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:14,479
Speaker 1: space faith spaces have been a vector for political games

446
00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:18,280
Speaker 1: and like politics and you know, like foolishness. I get it.

447
00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:22,760
Speaker 1: But there's still that question, and that question still is

448
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:28,080
Speaker 1: compelled from the life, the action, the interactions of the

449
00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:31,520
Speaker 1: Christ of how it is that we serve the least

450
00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:33,360
Speaker 1: of these man. That is the only reason why I'm

451
00:24:33,359 --> 00:24:37,280
Speaker 1: here at the point in time where we abandon that question.

452
00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:39,840
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do something else I've always thought about, like

453
00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:43,639
Speaker 1: starting a smoke house in Bucksville, Alabama. I'm gonna go

454
00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:47,760
Speaker 1: and like smoke hauled me and reach Chaucer, because that's

455
00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:48,800
Speaker 1: all I really want to do.

456
00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:53,160
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna echo what John said, man that if

457
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:58,480
Speaker 2: my interaction with religious religious leaders in my community have

458
00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:01,000
Speaker 2: been more like the interaction we're having with you, I

459
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:03,760
Speaker 2: think I would have grown up feeling very differently about

460
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:04,439
Speaker 2: a lot of things.

461
00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:07,439
Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure, tru So, So I'm a bit interested

462
00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:10,359
Speaker 1: in the journey. So I know you were born and

463
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:13,119
Speaker 1: raised in Alabama, you're living in Durham now, shouts to

464
00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:16,080
Speaker 1: the Bull City, like how was was was this something

465
00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:18,399
Speaker 1: you always knew was your calling? Was there like a

466
00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:20,480
Speaker 1: pivotal moment in your life, that emmercy in your faith

467
00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:24,800
Speaker 1: or Okay, so I can talk about like I've been

468
00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:28,200
Speaker 1: in ministry for over twenty two years, so most of

469
00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:34,320
Speaker 1: my life I've been doing this. I've been doing For

470
00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:39,639
Speaker 1: the first decade of ministry, I was probably the most

471
00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:57,040
Speaker 1: intellectually inefficient and more resembling your average fire and brimstone preacher,

472
00:25:58,119 --> 00:26:02,040
Speaker 1: more resembling, you know, your average you gotta live right

473
00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:06,200
Speaker 1: type preacher. You you know, more resembling your average pull

474
00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:10,960
Speaker 1: yourself up by your bootstraps type politic. For the first

475
00:26:11,119 --> 00:26:16,919
Speaker 1: decade of ministry, I went to seminary. So always I

476
00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:20,560
Speaker 1: was like, gave my life to the Lord, except always,

477
00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:21,920
Speaker 1: you know, wanted to be like a good type of

478
00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:28,880
Speaker 1: dude or whatever. I took a class in seminary from

479
00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:33,119
Speaker 1: a lady named Nancy. The class a Walford, and she

480
00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:37,320
Speaker 1: was an old Testament uh theology. She is the Oldtimate

481
00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:39,880
Speaker 1: thelog she ain't dead, she's still in like low, she cool.

482
00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:41,560
Speaker 5: And.

483
00:26:44,119 --> 00:26:46,760
Speaker 1: She was she like her her specialty. Her area of

484
00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:50,080
Speaker 1: study isn't the song She like writes about the songs

485
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:52,640
Speaker 1: all that kind of goo stuff. And she talked about

486
00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:57,160
Speaker 1: like the emotional equipment of the Psalmist. This this school

487
00:26:57,240 --> 00:27:02,600
Speaker 1: of writers called the Psalmist, and she in class one

488
00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:08,480
Speaker 1: day asked the question, and that question kind of like

489
00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:13,239
Speaker 1: framed or reframed how I go about and how I

490
00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:21,000
Speaker 1: occupy or deploy my thought concerning ministry. And it was

491
00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:23,280
Speaker 1: a really simple question she was. She was like, okay,

492
00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:31,240
Speaker 1: what if the helpers that God has sent us are

493
00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:35,280
Speaker 1: same gender loving? Now we were in class, we were

494
00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:38,560
Speaker 1: talking about, you know, the Bible and man and woman

495
00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:40,040
Speaker 1: and all the kind of good stuff or whatever. She said,

496
00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:43,360
Speaker 1: what if the helpers And she went through the whole thing.

497
00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:49,040
Speaker 1: She on the on the board, she did the Hebrew

498
00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:51,920
Speaker 1: of like syllables and faneticism and all that kind of

499
00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:54,280
Speaker 1: good stuff, and she said, there was no gender to

500
00:27:54,359 --> 00:27:58,879
Speaker 1: the word helper, righte helper? And she said, okay, what

501
00:27:59,040 --> 00:28:04,320
Speaker 1: if God had as purposed in creation that our helpers

502
00:28:04,359 --> 00:28:08,320
Speaker 1: be same gender like you can have a strong helper

503
00:28:08,359 --> 00:28:11,679
Speaker 1: that was the word in Hebrew, strong helper that was

504
00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:15,560
Speaker 1: a man, or strong helper that was a woman. She said,

505
00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:20,320
Speaker 1: if that's a possibility that a person can be a

506
00:28:20,359 --> 00:28:25,400
Speaker 1: strong can like be your strong helper, then it requires

507
00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:29,800
Speaker 1: us to imagine the possibilities of the text in radically

508
00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:35,639
Speaker 1: different ways. Now, some of y'all say, well, that ain't nothing.

509
00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:43,120
Speaker 1: But if you're considering, like from the outside in the

510
00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:49,280
Speaker 1: implications of the divine purposing this text in ways that

511
00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:52,040
Speaker 1: are beyond simply the words that are on the paper,

512
00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:55,560
Speaker 1: like that's gonna make you dig a little deeper, and

513
00:28:55,640 --> 00:28:58,080
Speaker 1: she wanted us to dig a little deeper and to

514
00:28:58,240 --> 00:29:01,520
Speaker 1: fight for it. Don't judge, allow your face to be

515
00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:05,360
Speaker 1: something that is given to you and it was crammed

516
00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:08,080
Speaker 1: down your throat, bud a fight for it, Like, go

517
00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:11,040
Speaker 1: back and make sure this is something that you believe.

518
00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:15,040
Speaker 1: Make sure that you are deconstructed, and make sure that

519
00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:19,560
Speaker 1: you are purposefully with intent building it back. That was

520
00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:22,560
Speaker 1: my deconstruction that day, in that class, was my deconstruction

521
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:26,680
Speaker 1: from that day on to this day. Right now, I

522
00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:32,800
Speaker 1: am questioning the text, I am questioning goodness, I'm questioning kindness,

523
00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:37,000
Speaker 1: I am questioning everything because being a part of the

524
00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:39,640
Speaker 1: Socratic community that Jesus was the barner which was questioning

525
00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:43,280
Speaker 1: the purposes of the temple. Purpose is purposing and questioning

526
00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:46,040
Speaker 1: the purposes of those who are occupying the temple. Do

527
00:29:46,120 --> 00:29:47,760
Speaker 1: you want to be seen? Do you want power? What

528
00:29:47,800 --> 00:29:50,360
Speaker 1: do you want from this thing? Is this is about acknowledgment,

529
00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:52,520
Speaker 1: This is about platform, like what is your work in

530
00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:57,080
Speaker 1: the earth? Reilm right. If you're coming from that aspect

531
00:29:57,120 --> 00:30:01,880
Speaker 1: and advantage point, then you're more likely to say, wait,

532
00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:08,080
Speaker 1: I need to reconsider, like how I'm using what I got?

533
00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:08,800
Speaker 4: Do I want to.

534
00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:11,720
Speaker 1: Build somebody else up? Is this all about me? Do

535
00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:13,240
Speaker 1: I just want to be seen? Do I just want

536
00:30:13,280 --> 00:30:15,000
Speaker 1: to be hurt? Or do I want to make ways

537
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:17,560
Speaker 1: for other people to exist and be healthy and Behold?

538
00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:21,920
Speaker 5: That's interesting because so many people like I remember being

539
00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:23,800
Speaker 5: in a church where I was told not to question,

540
00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:26,320
Speaker 5: not to question, you know what I mean? And I'm

541
00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:29,400
Speaker 5: coming back through college where I'm taught to question, you

542
00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:31,120
Speaker 5: know what I mean, and I'm reading the Bible, I

543
00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:33,160
Speaker 5: read it twice, and I'm thinking, like this, don't this

544
00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:35,400
Speaker 5: ain't some of this shit ain't adding up based upon

545
00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:37,560
Speaker 5: what I've been learning and what I'm thinking. It's just

546
00:30:37,600 --> 00:30:39,800
Speaker 5: you know what I mean? And it's just beautiful to

547
00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:42,080
Speaker 5: hear you say that from in your position. You know,

548
00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:44,240
Speaker 5: question question these things.

549
00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:44,960
Speaker 4: You know what I mean?

550
00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:47,400
Speaker 5: It's okay to question, and you should question. I know

551
00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:50,440
Speaker 5: it's okay, but you should question these things. I think

552
00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:53,240
Speaker 5: that's important, man, you know what I mean? So I

553
00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:54,600
Speaker 5: want to applause you on that for sure.

554
00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:55,000
Speaker 4: For sure.

555
00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:58,280
Speaker 1: Gee, you did you ever have a moment where you

556
00:30:59,200 --> 00:31:02,240
Speaker 1: kind of became, you know, jaded with your faith, with

557
00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:09,840
Speaker 1: with with Christianity. Heck, yeah, I'm jading right now like people.

558
00:31:10,360 --> 00:31:16,680
Speaker 1: It's likeny and it's because I understand harm. Right. One

559
00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:20,640
Speaker 1: of the things that it is difficult for a lot

560
00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:24,920
Speaker 1: of Christians to understand is in this moment where we

561
00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:29,920
Speaker 1: don't know what to actually be Christian about, what to

562
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:35,360
Speaker 1: be outraged about, what to be upset about, is because

563
00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:38,560
Speaker 1: we have been on with the wrong tools. Come on, man,

564
00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:41,200
Speaker 1: y'all really care what two other people do in their bedroom?

565
00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:44,720
Speaker 4: Really really care? You know what I mean?

566
00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:47,920
Speaker 1: Come on, man, I mean the only way that it

567
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:50,280
Speaker 1: affects you is if you're gonna go get up in

568
00:31:50,280 --> 00:31:54,160
Speaker 1: there with right. But we have been taught that this

569
00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:57,960
Speaker 1: is some kind that we have a religious socio religious

570
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:04,160
Speaker 1: privilege to us to traject and affect the lives of others,

571
00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:06,800
Speaker 1: the happiness of others, the well being of others because

572
00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:10,320
Speaker 1: of our religious bent. Man. That's not religious freedom, that's

573
00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:14,880
Speaker 1: religious domination. So yeah, I'm punchy. Man, I be upset

574
00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:16,640
Speaker 1: all the time, but I don't care. They're gonna they

575
00:32:16,680 --> 00:32:19,320
Speaker 1: gonna hear this voice. Man, I got this out the mother,

576
00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:25,760
Speaker 1: so so yeah and again. But this is the other reason,

577
00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:30,440
Speaker 1: all right. So like all of those Christian voices that

578
00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:34,480
Speaker 1: you hear, and like they feel as if they are

579
00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:38,800
Speaker 1: under persecution and they're like, you know, the world doesn't

580
00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:42,000
Speaker 1: like doesn't like God known all that kind of good stuff. Man,

581
00:32:42,040 --> 00:32:45,080
Speaker 1: they go back to church on Sunday. They're fine, They're okay.

582
00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:51,880
Speaker 1: They have literally no material effectiveness by the actions that

583
00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:56,560
Speaker 1: they've taken against others. There nothing happens, right. The lady

584
00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:58,120
Speaker 1: who is who didn't want to make cake for gay

585
00:32:58,160 --> 00:33:01,960
Speaker 1: people like her life was right, she went and made

586
00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:06,200
Speaker 1: like thirteen thousand other heterosexual cakes, right, it was not

587
00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:10,800
Speaker 1: a problem. The lady who was like who didn't want

588
00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:13,560
Speaker 1: to do would like that lady named Kim in Kentucky

589
00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:15,800
Speaker 1: or something like that. It's the old Wow lady looked

590
00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:20,280
Speaker 1: like he's never been a supercussing nothing like she didn't

591
00:33:20,320 --> 00:33:22,120
Speaker 1: do them, like she said, I'm not gonna do it,

592
00:33:22,160 --> 00:33:24,400
Speaker 1: like the Marriat certificates or whatever. She went back to

593
00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:29,720
Speaker 1: like hitting spit Kentucky and like she was fine, she

594
00:33:29,880 --> 00:33:34,040
Speaker 1: was okay. Right, they all go back to their communities

595
00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:39,479
Speaker 1: of origin and they're fine. Nothing happens to them. The

596
00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:41,760
Speaker 1: material goods of their life are not affected in any way.

597
00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:45,880
Speaker 1: But what happened? What about like trans kids who are

598
00:33:45,920 --> 00:33:50,480
Speaker 1: struggling to be loved and struggling to find care, and like,

599
00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:53,400
Speaker 1: don't deserve to be bullied, don't deserve to be harmed,

600
00:33:53,440 --> 00:33:56,640
Speaker 1: Like they deserve to have a chance, because we know

601
00:33:56,720 --> 00:33:59,000
Speaker 1: that most trans people don't make it towards like a

602
00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:05,040
Speaker 1: to forty, Like that's a real number. Like we understand that,

603
00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:08,880
Speaker 1: like because they can't receive care, because there are material

604
00:34:08,920 --> 00:34:12,600
Speaker 1: realities that affect their mental health, because we know that

605
00:34:12,640 --> 00:34:17,399
Speaker 1: they're bullied, because we know that they're killed. Right, there

606
00:34:17,440 --> 00:34:23,440
Speaker 1: are material effects for these social ideas that are seen

607
00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:26,359
Speaker 1: as religious ideas. But that's not a part of your

608
00:34:26,360 --> 00:34:32,160
Speaker 1: gospelant on, So nah, I'd be like, nah, but you

609
00:34:32,160 --> 00:34:35,879
Speaker 1: you go back to those communities and nothing happens to you.

610
00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:38,000
Speaker 1: You just want to be able to dominate other people.

611
00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:40,560
Speaker 1: You want people to be subservient to you and subservient

612
00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:45,880
Speaker 1: to your articulation expression of the divine. But there are real,

613
00:34:46,080 --> 00:34:52,279
Speaker 1: like and serious ramifications when it comes to bigotry. Our

614
00:34:52,520 --> 00:34:57,200
Speaker 1: like Christians who deploy bigotry and who use the Bible

615
00:34:57,239 --> 00:35:01,480
Speaker 1: as an expression of hate. There are real consequences to that.

616
00:35:02,239 --> 00:35:04,719
Speaker 1: And so that's why I'm like, yeah, no, you're gonna

617
00:35:04,719 --> 00:35:06,319
Speaker 1: go ahead and get it from this end, because I

618
00:35:06,360 --> 00:35:10,080
Speaker 1: can't allow you to continue to harm people who stop

619
00:35:10,160 --> 00:35:15,040
Speaker 1: for under you while you are creating the theater of oppression.

620
00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:19,320
Speaker 2: I'm excited to get to these questions, Tyler. I like, like,

621
00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:21,319
Speaker 2: like genuinely. I mean I thought when you brought it up.

622
00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:23,200
Speaker 2: When Tyler brought this up, I was like, Oh, that's

623
00:35:23,239 --> 00:35:25,640
Speaker 2: a cool idea, that'll be good content. But now I like, really,

624
00:35:25,680 --> 00:35:27,719
Speaker 2: I really want your advice on the questions.

625
00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:30,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, this is a good talk right here

626
00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:31,200
Speaker 4: for sure.

627
00:35:31,200 --> 00:35:33,160
Speaker 1: All right, well, let's just hop into it right now,

628
00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:36,600
Speaker 1: and let's dig into the mail bag, all right. First

629
00:35:36,640 --> 00:35:40,960
Speaker 1: one is from the Homie Silas and it says their pastor,

630
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:44,240
Speaker 1: why are so many churches refusing to meet the spiritual

631
00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:48,160
Speaker 1: needs of under eighteen members? Why can't churches talk about

632
00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:51,600
Speaker 1: evils that go beyond the Ten Commandments and extensive racism,

633
00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:57,799
Speaker 1: corporate greed and the environment. M all right, So this

634
00:35:57,880 --> 00:36:01,640
Speaker 1: is one that actually causes us to take into account

635
00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:07,319
Speaker 1: the way that we one understand gospel, so understand what

636
00:36:07,360 --> 00:36:14,680
Speaker 1: it is that Jesus is suggesting advancing in creation to

637
00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:19,560
Speaker 1: the relationship that we have with the document known as

638
00:36:19,560 --> 00:36:21,920
Speaker 1: the Bible itself, like how are we using it? What

639
00:36:22,040 --> 00:36:25,920
Speaker 1: choices are we making and deploying yet? And then three

640
00:36:26,440 --> 00:36:30,239
Speaker 1: the actual training and the ways that we are equipped

641
00:36:30,760 --> 00:36:35,200
Speaker 1: to build healthy community. So I'm just gonna go from

642
00:36:35,239 --> 00:36:39,080
Speaker 1: healthy community at home. One of the problems that we

643
00:36:39,200 --> 00:36:42,439
Speaker 1: have when we talk about or think about the evils

644
00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:48,480
Speaker 1: of society beyond like gender, beyond the way that gender

645
00:36:48,560 --> 00:36:53,840
Speaker 1: has been co opted to be a manifestation of the

646
00:36:53,920 --> 00:37:00,880
Speaker 1: demonic right, beyond sexuality, beyond like women be the enemies

647
00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:02,800
Speaker 1: of the church because they want to be in charge

648
00:37:02,840 --> 00:37:10,080
Speaker 1: because of feminism, is that we don't and have not

649
00:37:10,280 --> 00:37:16,319
Speaker 1: built healthy community that understands that environmental racism is a

650
00:37:16,440 --> 00:37:21,720
Speaker 1: serious and real thing that has material consequences in the earth,

651
00:37:22,280 --> 00:37:27,799
Speaker 1: and people who are forced to live near landfills have

652
00:37:27,920 --> 00:37:32,080
Speaker 1: higher rates of asthma, have higher rates of cancer, have

653
00:37:32,160 --> 00:37:36,640
Speaker 1: higher races of like just overall genetic and health risk. Right,

654
00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:41,080
Speaker 1: But then the other part about this is we think

655
00:37:41,080 --> 00:37:46,200
Speaker 1: of these as eschatological aspirations, schatological that which is in

656
00:37:46,239 --> 00:37:52,280
Speaker 1: the end, And so rather than thinking about the material

657
00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:56,759
Speaker 1: realities of folks down here who going through hell, we

658
00:37:56,880 --> 00:37:59,840
Speaker 1: position the ultimate question in the Christian community and context

659
00:38:00,239 --> 00:38:03,680
Speaker 1: as are you going to heaven or health? I don't

660
00:38:03,719 --> 00:38:08,600
Speaker 1: care about that. That ain't my business. Your etonne of destination,

661
00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:10,560
Speaker 1: if you're gonna have one or not, I don't know,

662
00:38:10,680 --> 00:38:13,480
Speaker 1: It's not my business. I am a pastor. I am

663
00:38:13,520 --> 00:38:17,040
Speaker 1: a person who is concerned, concerned about your material realities

664
00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:19,279
Speaker 1: on the ground boot We are boots on the ground.

665
00:38:19,360 --> 00:38:23,200
Speaker 1: Christians are boots on the ground. Are you okay today?

666
00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:25,560
Speaker 1: Do you have enough to eat? Do you have somewhere

667
00:38:25,560 --> 00:38:27,920
Speaker 1: to sleep? Are you being cared for as far as

668
00:38:27,920 --> 00:38:30,880
Speaker 1: your health is concerned? Like Christians are boots on the ground,

669
00:38:31,160 --> 00:38:37,160
Speaker 1: divine communicators of compassion. But because we have deferred or

670
00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:43,360
Speaker 1: outsourced the reality the material comfort to the question of

671
00:38:43,920 --> 00:38:45,880
Speaker 1: are you going to heaven or health? We say we

672
00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:47,480
Speaker 1: don't have to deal with that. We don't have to

673
00:38:47,520 --> 00:38:53,520
Speaker 1: deal with people being knowledgeable about their bodies, knowledgeable about consent,

674
00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:57,840
Speaker 1: knowledgeable about the ramifications and implications of the justice system

675
00:38:57,920 --> 00:39:00,240
Speaker 1: upon black and brown folks. So we say we don't

676
00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:03,480
Speaker 1: have to be knowledgeable about that, concerned about that, careful

677
00:39:03,520 --> 00:39:06,400
Speaker 1: about that, because if you can answer, yes, I'm going

678
00:39:06,440 --> 00:39:09,240
Speaker 1: to heaven because I believe in Jesus, then you're fine.

679
00:39:10,080 --> 00:39:14,360
Speaker 1: And my positioning is we're not fine. If we create hells,

680
00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:17,520
Speaker 1: we're not fine. If we create the conditions for people

681
00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:21,400
Speaker 1: to have to live, position, operate, and exist as a

682
00:39:21,520 --> 00:39:24,960
Speaker 1: moral just to get back, we're not fine. So if

683
00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:29,280
Speaker 1: we live under the thumb of a capitalistic authoritarian system,

684
00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:32,920
Speaker 1: we are not fine. But that goes back to an ethic,

685
00:39:33,040 --> 00:39:36,600
Speaker 1: right are you just hoping for people to go to

686
00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:38,959
Speaker 1: heaven or are you hoping for people to be whole?

687
00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:41,560
Speaker 1: And so that's one of the reasons why we don't

688
00:39:41,560 --> 00:39:45,239
Speaker 1: actually equip ourselves to talk to talk to talk to

689
00:39:45,440 --> 00:39:49,319
Speaker 1: directly to the issues that concern people under eighteen, like

690
00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:50,759
Speaker 1: you know, are you going to be able to like

691
00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:56,200
Speaker 1: breathe the air in ten years? Like is like are

692
00:39:56,200 --> 00:39:57,879
Speaker 1: you gonna be able to afford a place to live

693
00:39:58,040 --> 00:40:00,920
Speaker 1: next year? How do you pay back the loans that

694
00:40:00,960 --> 00:40:03,759
Speaker 1: you've got Because we we've deferred the question to heaven

695
00:40:03,800 --> 00:40:06,480
Speaker 1: or hell and the Bible says, don't be so heavenly

696
00:40:06,520 --> 00:40:08,400
Speaker 1: minded that you're of no earthly nehod.

697
00:40:08,800 --> 00:40:11,200
Speaker 4: Oh, that's a bar hey something.

698
00:40:11,480 --> 00:40:13,680
Speaker 1: You know, that's kind of an extension of that, you know,

699
00:40:13,719 --> 00:40:17,680
Speaker 1: in regards to kind of the generational gaps there, I

700
00:40:17,719 --> 00:40:21,719
Speaker 1: feel like our generation, my generation, you know, we grew

701
00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:24,120
Speaker 1: up where our parents were heavily immersing the church. Our

702
00:40:24,160 --> 00:40:26,719
Speaker 1: grandparents were heavily immersing in the church. Our grandparents parents

703
00:40:26,760 --> 00:40:28,319
Speaker 1: were heavily immersing the church. And I don't think our

704
00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:33,640
Speaker 1: generation is you know, my family is Southern Black Baptist.

705
00:40:33,760 --> 00:40:36,759
Speaker 1: I think that that is is the root of who

706
00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:38,839
Speaker 1: I am, of who my family is. I think that's

707
00:40:38,920 --> 00:40:41,239
Speaker 1: more of a categorization of a culture, because you know,

708
00:40:41,680 --> 00:40:44,520
Speaker 1: the church and Christianity is such a staple in our family,

709
00:40:44,560 --> 00:40:46,120
Speaker 1: even though you know, a lot of us aren't avid

710
00:40:46,160 --> 00:40:47,920
Speaker 1: church goers. Like none of my friends my age or

711
00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:49,920
Speaker 1: avid church goers, none of my cousins my age or

712
00:40:49,920 --> 00:40:53,120
Speaker 1: avid church goers. And I think it's because we got

713
00:40:53,520 --> 00:40:55,680
Speaker 1: we got deterred a bit by the hypocrisy. We got

714
00:40:55,719 --> 00:40:58,759
Speaker 1: deterred by you know, being so this notion of an

715
00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:01,360
Speaker 1: all compassionate, all loving God who didn't like gay people,

716
00:41:01,440 --> 00:41:04,160
Speaker 1: who didn't like women having children out of wedlock. You know,

717
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:07,799
Speaker 1: you know, church Christianity is supposed to be built around philanthropy.

718
00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:09,880
Speaker 1: We're not seeing our church through any community outreach, but

719
00:41:09,880 --> 00:41:11,680
Speaker 1: past is pulling up in a brand new bins. I

720
00:41:11,719 --> 00:41:14,680
Speaker 1: think my generation got jaded on shit like that and

721
00:41:14,719 --> 00:41:18,120
Speaker 1: we're stared away from the church. So I'm curious, you know,

722
00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:20,960
Speaker 1: as to how you feel about that. How do you

723
00:41:21,560 --> 00:41:23,800
Speaker 1: do you think that is a legit problem where it

724
00:41:23,920 --> 00:41:27,680
Speaker 1: seems that, especially in the Black community, that Christianity and

725
00:41:27,719 --> 00:41:30,200
Speaker 1: being avid churchgoers is something that's going to phase out

726
00:41:30,280 --> 00:41:34,439
Speaker 1: with with you know, our generation and upcoming generations. Yeah,

727
00:41:34,520 --> 00:41:37,440
Speaker 1: definitely churches on the decline. And I think that one

728
00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:39,640
Speaker 1: of the problems that we have in the institutionalized church.

729
00:41:39,719 --> 00:41:44,200
Speaker 1: Institutionalized church is simply the organized, functional, or structured church

730
00:41:45,040 --> 00:41:47,880
Speaker 1: is because let me say this, there will always be

731
00:41:47,960 --> 00:41:52,359
Speaker 1: people who are operating with ethic of community at heart.

732
00:41:52,640 --> 00:41:55,160
Speaker 1: Somebody's always going to be the church, right, There's always

733
00:41:55,160 --> 00:41:58,399
Speaker 1: somebody reaching out, Always somebody open up their doors, letting

734
00:41:58,480 --> 00:42:00,400
Speaker 1: kids and be like, hey, have y'all have something to

735
00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:02,960
Speaker 1: eat today? Right at the end of the day, It's

736
00:42:02,960 --> 00:42:05,840
Speaker 1: always gonna be somebody who's out there saying hey, sis,

737
00:42:05,880 --> 00:42:07,200
Speaker 1: you know you ain't got enough to pay your light bill.

738
00:42:07,280 --> 00:42:08,880
Speaker 1: Let me go ahead and cover you on that or whatever.

739
00:42:08,920 --> 00:42:12,600
Speaker 1: It's always always gonna be somebody doing church, right, but

740
00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:15,560
Speaker 1: it may not always be the institutionalized church. And for me,

741
00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:19,200
Speaker 1: that's okay, right because I'm not called to go to church.

742
00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:22,040
Speaker 1: I'm called to be church. That's an entirely different thing.

743
00:42:23,680 --> 00:42:27,360
Speaker 1: A lot of what we do in like faith spaces

744
00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:34,759
Speaker 1: is platform building and popularity building, and we're doing a

745
00:42:34,760 --> 00:42:37,920
Speaker 1: lot of stuff that allows us to be seen as

746
00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:45,080
Speaker 1: like prosperous and happy and whole, as if this is

747
00:42:45,840 --> 00:42:49,560
Speaker 1: as if I am living the lifestyle that you are

748
00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:52,359
Speaker 1: aspiring to and I can lead you to it. Let

749
00:42:52,360 --> 00:42:55,040
Speaker 1: me go ahead and help you through that. Everything I

750
00:42:55,040 --> 00:42:58,880
Speaker 1: got on probably cost twenty four dollars. I got this

751
00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:04,160
Speaker 1: on Amazon all. I got the pants for sixteen as

752
00:43:04,160 --> 00:43:09,319
Speaker 1: a pig and slot because it's not like that. I

753
00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:11,759
Speaker 1: don't need that. I need to be covered like I

754
00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:15,319
Speaker 1: and everybody want to be flying, right, I'm saving up

755
00:43:15,320 --> 00:43:16,840
Speaker 1: to get me, you know, my first pair of Jordans.

756
00:43:16,880 --> 00:43:19,759
Speaker 1: I want to be fly or whatever. But do I

757
00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:24,000
Speaker 1: want to have every pair of Jordans? Do I need

758
00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:26,160
Speaker 1: to have like I got, like my car, Do I

759
00:43:26,200 --> 00:43:28,120
Speaker 1: need to have three more? It ain't but wanting me

760
00:43:28,200 --> 00:43:32,520
Speaker 1: up in here, right? I got a house? How many

761
00:43:32,520 --> 00:43:39,120
Speaker 1: more houses do I need? If you got a chain, okay, cool,

762
00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:41,319
Speaker 1: you gotta change how many of them can you wear

763
00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:44,600
Speaker 1: at the same time? But then here's a better question

764
00:43:44,640 --> 00:43:51,840
Speaker 1: for people like me. I'm prospering, making myself well, making

765
00:43:51,880 --> 00:43:58,360
Speaker 1: myself prosperous off of the life's blood of the folks.

766
00:43:59,040 --> 00:44:02,360
Speaker 1: What am I leading them? If I'm leading them to

767
00:44:02,400 --> 00:44:05,879
Speaker 1: the same thing that like you know baby and them

768
00:44:05,920 --> 00:44:09,680
Speaker 1: leading them to, then they just go follow baby because

769
00:44:09,680 --> 00:44:13,359
Speaker 1: he's doing it better than I am. Like I ain't

770
00:44:13,360 --> 00:44:15,480
Speaker 1: got none of that, you know, I got like e volvo,

771
00:44:15,719 --> 00:44:20,279
Speaker 1: like you know, an head card? And what am I

772
00:44:20,360 --> 00:44:25,000
Speaker 1: leading them to? Everything in our world tells us that

773
00:44:25,160 --> 00:44:28,640
Speaker 1: it's never enough, Like everything is about chasing the bag,

774
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:32,120
Speaker 1: Everything is about like being getting more. Everybody want more,

775
00:44:32,320 --> 00:44:35,359
Speaker 1: and I get it. I understand. There's never a place

776
00:44:35,360 --> 00:44:37,520
Speaker 1: that tells you that you have enoughing that you are enough.

777
00:44:39,040 --> 00:44:41,440
Speaker 1: You're never gonna be happy because you're never gonna have

778
00:44:41,560 --> 00:44:44,400
Speaker 1: enough and you're never gonna be enough. One of the

779
00:44:44,440 --> 00:44:46,800
Speaker 1: pressures that we have when it comes to like finding

780
00:44:46,920 --> 00:44:49,480
Speaker 1: intimacy and relationships and dating. Is that because we never

781
00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:51,480
Speaker 1: come to a place where, you know, we say I

782
00:44:51,520 --> 00:44:54,359
Speaker 1: am enough and I have enough. I'm always chasing something more.

783
00:44:54,680 --> 00:44:57,399
Speaker 1: I always need somebody more. Nothing is filling that hole.

784
00:44:57,880 --> 00:44:59,520
Speaker 1: I'm not satisfied with them self.

785
00:45:00,160 --> 00:45:00,359
Speaker 4: Man.

786
00:45:01,440 --> 00:45:03,640
Speaker 1: These people get up on Sunday mornings. Man, they got

787
00:45:03,640 --> 00:45:06,840
Speaker 1: like Birdberry like stuff on and like bollimun stuff on,

788
00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:08,480
Speaker 1: and like, I don't I only know how to say, oh,

789
00:45:08,480 --> 00:45:12,520
Speaker 1: that's the hood ever, Like that's wild, because buddy, what

790
00:45:12,560 --> 00:45:15,000
Speaker 1: you're telling me is that you don't feel like you enough.

791
00:45:15,840 --> 00:45:17,719
Speaker 1: You feel like that you got the ball, You feel

792
00:45:17,760 --> 00:45:21,080
Speaker 1: like that you got to like just like bet everything

793
00:45:21,120 --> 00:45:24,319
Speaker 1: that that's out there, You've nothowing me that I'm cool,

794
00:45:24,360 --> 00:45:27,759
Speaker 1: I'm good, I'm okay. It doesn't matter what I have on. Like,

795
00:45:28,360 --> 00:45:31,279
Speaker 1: I can love in ways that are real and that

796
00:45:31,400 --> 00:45:35,080
Speaker 1: are substanative and that are not showy and not for performance.

797
00:45:35,160 --> 00:45:39,320
Speaker 1: So we're insecure. Even in church, even in face spaces.

798
00:45:39,400 --> 00:45:41,080
Speaker 1: We want to be the cool spot, man. Noah, don't

799
00:45:41,080 --> 00:45:44,160
Speaker 1: be the cool spot man. Be the careful spot. Be

800
00:45:44,239 --> 00:45:46,920
Speaker 1: the spot that's compassionate, be the spot that's carried, Be

801
00:45:47,040 --> 00:45:48,880
Speaker 1: the spot that says, man, you know, in order and

802
00:45:48,960 --> 00:45:52,000
Speaker 1: rather than have like a Birdberry shirt. Man, I had

803
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:54,600
Speaker 1: that little target shirt on. It's ten dollars. But I

804
00:45:54,640 --> 00:45:57,279
Speaker 1: can go out here and bless somebody and they be good.

805
00:45:57,480 --> 00:46:00,879
Speaker 1: They'll be good, and I'm still fine. And we don't

806
00:46:00,880 --> 00:46:02,719
Speaker 1: have those kinds of spaces. It's because we insecure.

807
00:46:03,360 --> 00:46:06,840
Speaker 5: You you spoke to the sustained ignorance too, you know

808
00:46:06,840 --> 00:46:09,720
Speaker 5: what I mean. And I feel like the world's changed

809
00:46:09,800 --> 00:46:13,560
Speaker 5: so much in our lifetime, more than probably the whole

810
00:46:13,880 --> 00:46:17,160
Speaker 5: all the three generations before ours, you know what I'm saying.

811
00:46:17,640 --> 00:46:19,920
Speaker 5: So it's important for the church to change this in

812
00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:23,720
Speaker 5: this generation, maybe more than it's been in the generations.

813
00:46:23,080 --> 00:46:24,640
Speaker 4: Prior, and it hasn't.

814
00:46:24,719 --> 00:46:27,120
Speaker 5: And you said, it's that sustainingness and people just hold

815
00:46:27,120 --> 00:46:30,520
Speaker 5: on those same ideas and like, we ain't gone for it,

816
00:46:30,719 --> 00:46:31,560
Speaker 5: you know what I'm saying.

817
00:46:31,640 --> 00:46:33,280
Speaker 4: So I think you kind of spoke to it earlier

818
00:46:33,360 --> 00:46:33,800
Speaker 4: as well.

819
00:46:34,080 --> 00:46:35,879
Speaker 5: We were talking about how people just want to say

820
00:46:35,880 --> 00:46:38,680
Speaker 5: that say and believe in the same shit, you know

821
00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:41,279
Speaker 5: what I mean, from the generations prior and prior prior,

822
00:46:41,320 --> 00:46:44,200
Speaker 5: and that was cool then, But the world has changed

823
00:46:44,239 --> 00:46:46,439
Speaker 5: twenty eight times in the forty years I've been here,

824
00:46:46,480 --> 00:46:47,160
Speaker 5: you know what I'm saying.

825
00:46:47,280 --> 00:46:49,719
Speaker 1: But one of the issues that we have, like in

826
00:46:49,880 --> 00:46:52,520
Speaker 1: face spaces, is we are as you're talking about, you know,

827
00:46:52,640 --> 00:46:55,279
Speaker 1: doing doing the same thing over and over again. Is

828
00:46:55,400 --> 00:46:58,560
Speaker 1: retaining a body of politics that is not in the

829
00:46:58,600 --> 00:47:04,000
Speaker 1: best practices and best advantage for our people. Right, So

830
00:47:04,080 --> 00:47:09,000
Speaker 1: you talk about how we can be like socially or

831
00:47:10,440 --> 00:47:17,760
Speaker 1: communally social, but like personally conservative, that's not in the

832
00:47:17,800 --> 00:47:21,959
Speaker 1: best interests of our people. But our faith spaces keep

833
00:47:22,120 --> 00:47:26,880
Speaker 1: projecting and keep teaching and keep forming us to inhabit

834
00:47:26,960 --> 00:47:30,360
Speaker 1: and embody in practice a body of politics that's harmful

835
00:47:30,480 --> 00:47:33,040
Speaker 1: to like the souls of our people. And we just

836
00:47:33,080 --> 00:47:35,920
Speaker 1: don't grow up and we don't grow out, right, we

837
00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:39,560
Speaker 1: don't continue to equip ourselves with a body of knowledge. Man.

838
00:47:39,680 --> 00:47:43,000
Speaker 1: The people that I look up to in ministry, Man,

839
00:47:43,040 --> 00:47:45,560
Speaker 1: those are like curious people. They got like congregations of

840
00:47:45,600 --> 00:47:48,640
Speaker 1: ten people, but like they're the ten people that got

841
00:47:48,640 --> 00:47:50,960
Speaker 1: are all PhDs because they want to learn, Like they

842
00:47:51,000 --> 00:47:54,360
Speaker 1: want to be in concert with people who are curious

843
00:47:54,400 --> 00:47:58,640
Speaker 1: and people who are outstretched. They don't like just read

844
00:47:59,520 --> 00:48:03,920
Speaker 1: John mat that's what white Christian do who writes about leadership.

845
00:48:04,040 --> 00:48:06,200
Speaker 1: They don't just like reach John Maxwell or whatever they're

846
00:48:06,239 --> 00:48:09,600
Speaker 1: reading about, like everything they're reading about, like the body,

847
00:48:09,680 --> 00:48:13,920
Speaker 1: they're reading about biology, they are reading about quantum physics

848
00:48:13,960 --> 00:48:16,560
Speaker 1: like they want to know. They don't understand half the

849
00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:18,600
Speaker 1: stuff or whatever. They don't care. They just want to know.

850
00:48:18,640 --> 00:48:22,520
Speaker 1: They want to be exposed to everything. And so the

851
00:48:22,600 --> 00:48:25,520
Speaker 1: question that I have for our faith communities is not,

852
00:48:25,920 --> 00:48:29,880
Speaker 1: you know, can we just continue to perform or practice

853
00:48:30,400 --> 00:48:33,360
Speaker 1: or exhibit ways that we are the standard of success

854
00:48:33,360 --> 00:48:35,440
Speaker 1: because people come to church and look like they're successful.

855
00:48:35,600 --> 00:48:38,120
Speaker 1: They come to church and show on. But when can

856
00:48:38,160 --> 00:48:42,239
Speaker 1: we begin to embody an ethic body of politics that

857
00:48:42,360 --> 00:48:45,360
Speaker 1: shows up that we are curious, that we are careful,

858
00:48:45,760 --> 00:48:47,799
Speaker 1: and that we are looking to help and be come

859
00:48:47,800 --> 00:48:55,759
Speaker 1: passionate in creation. That's real, all right, next question, we

860
00:48:55,800 --> 00:49:02,120
Speaker 1: are definitely switching lanes there as subject line F n F,

861
00:49:02,360 --> 00:49:04,120
Speaker 1: but I don't want to be for the listeners who

862
00:49:04,160 --> 00:49:05,799
Speaker 1: might not be aware of that acronym that means fuck

863
00:49:05,840 --> 00:49:07,279
Speaker 1: nigga free, Shaca glorilla.

864
00:49:07,880 --> 00:49:09,399
Speaker 4: So this is some romantic advice that.

865
00:49:09,440 --> 00:49:14,440
Speaker 1: Is is being solicited here from doctor Love pastor Missouri here. Okay,

866
00:49:14,520 --> 00:49:18,480
Speaker 1: so hello, and the writer was Cat jazz. Hello, big fan,

867
00:49:18,960 --> 00:49:21,760
Speaker 1: longtime listener and og follower from Twitter. Shall see you cat.

868
00:49:22,040 --> 00:49:24,880
Speaker 1: My question is how do I get over getting ghosted

869
00:49:24,920 --> 00:49:27,160
Speaker 1: by a nice guy? She puts nice guy in parenth

870
00:49:27,400 --> 00:49:30,520
Speaker 1: in quotes. We didn't have a disagreement or anything, but

871
00:49:30,600 --> 00:49:33,319
Speaker 1: he hasn't responded to a text or reached out since

872
00:49:33,320 --> 00:49:36,080
Speaker 1: we last talked a few days after we hooked up.

873
00:49:36,640 --> 00:49:38,560
Speaker 1: He said he might be busy with work. He's an

874
00:49:38,680 --> 00:49:42,440
Speaker 1: entrepreneur and has a demanding job. Besides coming to terms

875
00:49:42,440 --> 00:49:47,360
Speaker 1: that my pussy might be trash time moving on, Unlike

876
00:49:47,440 --> 00:49:49,560
Speaker 1: with other guys that I know for sure, weren't about

877
00:49:49,600 --> 00:49:58,760
Speaker 1: anything any advice help man, I read man like one

878
00:50:01,440 --> 00:50:04,600
Speaker 1: continue to say, you know, F NF, you know as

879
00:50:04,640 --> 00:50:05,719
Speaker 1: always we want to move.

880
00:50:08,040 --> 00:50:11,440
Speaker 4: Yeah.

881
00:50:11,960 --> 00:50:14,279
Speaker 1: Two, I'm sorry that like that happened to you and

882
00:50:14,280 --> 00:50:17,920
Speaker 1: that you experienced that like dating is extremely difficult and

883
00:50:17,960 --> 00:50:20,640
Speaker 1: it's extremely rough, And so I don't want to just

884
00:50:20,760 --> 00:50:24,440
Speaker 1: qualify like that pain and that expectation that you have.

885
00:50:24,640 --> 00:50:30,279
Speaker 1: Because one, any person that's out here dating is put

886
00:50:30,320 --> 00:50:33,239
Speaker 1: the hope on, put their heart on their shoulder. If

887
00:50:33,239 --> 00:50:35,120
Speaker 1: you're dating and your heart ain't on your shoulder, you

888
00:50:35,440 --> 00:50:37,040
Speaker 1: don't need to date. Go back in the house because

889
00:50:37,040 --> 00:50:39,240
Speaker 1: you're just like you ready to be mean, you want sex.

890
00:50:39,520 --> 00:50:43,759
Speaker 1: Ain't wrong with that, But like, if you're dating, if

891
00:50:43,800 --> 00:50:47,680
Speaker 1: you're looking for some form of real connection, your like

892
00:50:47,719 --> 00:50:51,640
Speaker 1: your heart is out there, and I don't want to

893
00:50:51,680 --> 00:50:53,759
Speaker 1: like laugh at nobody for like putting the heart out there,

894
00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:56,239
Speaker 1: because that's real and you know, you want to be

895
00:50:56,280 --> 00:50:59,520
Speaker 1: able to say that that matters, and it does matter.

896
00:51:02,400 --> 00:51:04,200
Speaker 1: I don't know about you know, your sex or whatever,

897
00:51:04,280 --> 00:51:07,080
Speaker 1: because you know, hopefully it ain't trash, but if it is,

898
00:51:08,840 --> 00:51:10,600
Speaker 1: they got toys for that. They got, they got they

899
00:51:10,600 --> 00:51:12,359
Speaker 1: got to think you can put it into the same

900
00:51:12,640 --> 00:51:19,600
Speaker 1: the situation. Yeah, I'm like, we have all kinds of

901
00:51:19,640 --> 00:51:23,719
Speaker 1: stuff out there. But then the other part about that

902
00:51:23,880 --> 00:51:30,160
Speaker 1: is this, people do have busy jobs. That's that can

903
00:51:30,239 --> 00:51:34,319
Speaker 1: be a reality, that can be a truth. But I

904
00:51:34,360 --> 00:51:39,640
Speaker 1: hate when people like say that they're that busy. If

905
00:51:39,680 --> 00:51:42,640
Speaker 1: you like know that because you do all these works

906
00:51:43,280 --> 00:51:45,920
Speaker 1: to meet somebody, to know somebody and like to have

907
00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:48,839
Speaker 1: sex with them or whatever, and they like, now I'm

908
00:51:48,840 --> 00:51:51,040
Speaker 1: not call you no more. At least you can say

909
00:51:51,040 --> 00:51:53,879
Speaker 1: it's Noah, Like that wasn't a good interaction, That wasn't

910
00:51:53,920 --> 00:51:56,160
Speaker 1: a good engagement. You know, that's not something I'm looking

911
00:51:56,200 --> 00:52:00,239
Speaker 1: forward to do again. And that's difficult to hear. But

912
00:52:00,400 --> 00:52:05,040
Speaker 1: at least you don't have questions. And then sometimes people say, oh,

913
00:52:05,320 --> 00:52:07,799
Speaker 1: she could have moved differently, But it ain't nothing that

914
00:52:07,840 --> 00:52:11,520
Speaker 1: you could have moved differently if somebody was had like

915
00:52:11,880 --> 00:52:15,600
Speaker 1: in ulterior motives the entire time. So don't even like

916
00:52:15,800 --> 00:52:18,760
Speaker 1: double you know, like question yourself and double get yourself

917
00:52:18,840 --> 00:52:22,879
Speaker 1: or whatever. You know your heart's in the right place.

918
00:52:22,920 --> 00:52:25,439
Speaker 1: You're looking for love, that's cool. This ain't the one.

919
00:52:25,520 --> 00:52:27,200
Speaker 1: Take the time that you need to get off the

920
00:52:27,239 --> 00:52:30,319
Speaker 1: board and stop blowing that man phone up. He don't

921
00:52:30,400 --> 00:52:32,240
Speaker 1: he don't need your calls, he don't need your texts

922
00:52:32,280 --> 00:52:34,840
Speaker 1: or whatever. Don't put your energy in that. Go to

923
00:52:34,880 --> 00:52:37,440
Speaker 1: a boxing class and beat up on somebody who are

924
00:52:37,480 --> 00:52:38,960
Speaker 1: letting you start with them for a little while and

925
00:52:39,400 --> 00:52:41,640
Speaker 1: han put that duration. But don't don't even pay butey

926
00:52:41,640 --> 00:52:43,239
Speaker 1: no extra mind, just just let it go.

927
00:52:44,800 --> 00:52:46,239
Speaker 4: Got to charge some sit to the game, man.

928
00:52:47,880 --> 00:52:51,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's unfortunate, but it's real also.

929
00:52:51,440 --> 00:52:54,560
Speaker 2: That go charging the game is a religious principle. Charging

930
00:52:55,360 --> 00:52:59,080
Speaker 2: a religious that's a fact. The ability to release and say, well,

931
00:52:59,120 --> 00:53:02,239
Speaker 2: I mean it's above me, it's beyond me. There's nothing

932
00:53:02,280 --> 00:53:04,680
Speaker 2: I can control about it. That's an important. That's an

933
00:53:04,719 --> 00:53:08,160
Speaker 2: important regardless of your life outlook, you need that skill

934
00:53:08,280 --> 00:53:08,680
Speaker 2: for sure.

935
00:53:09,560 --> 00:53:12,279
Speaker 5: Also, ghost and folks is cowardly too, So he told

936
00:53:12,360 --> 00:53:14,520
Speaker 5: us he told you something about himself.

937
00:53:14,160 --> 00:53:17,440
Speaker 4: There, you know what I mean. So it feels probably

938
00:53:17,520 --> 00:53:19,239
Speaker 4: like she didn't win, but she won. You know what

939
00:53:19,280 --> 00:53:19,600
Speaker 4: I mean.

940
00:53:19,880 --> 00:53:23,200
Speaker 2: If someone ghosts, you pretend you found out that they

941
00:53:23,239 --> 00:53:25,719
Speaker 2: beat their mom up or something. Basically, that's like what

942
00:53:25,840 --> 00:53:28,279
Speaker 2: you found out is you found out something about that

943
00:53:28,320 --> 00:53:31,279
Speaker 2: person that should make them someone you would not want

944
00:53:31,280 --> 00:53:31,800
Speaker 2: to be around.

945
00:53:31,800 --> 00:53:34,600
Speaker 5: You found out you fuck nigga free because this fuck

946
00:53:34,680 --> 00:53:35,600
Speaker 5: nigga left your life.

947
00:53:35,600 --> 00:53:42,919
Speaker 4: You feel me? You feel all right? Next question here?

948
00:53:43,680 --> 00:53:46,600
Speaker 1: Something I get here is I need advice like real

949
00:53:46,680 --> 00:53:49,360
Speaker 1: bad and like real bad is an all caps. So

950
00:53:49,400 --> 00:53:50,920
Speaker 1: she got some shit to get off her chest here.

951
00:53:51,160 --> 00:53:54,240
Speaker 1: This is from our listener essence. She says, hey, y'all,

952
00:53:54,480 --> 00:53:56,919
Speaker 1: so I'm gonna get it right into it. Earlier this year,

953
00:53:57,000 --> 00:54:00,480
Speaker 1: my roommate Craig asked me a very heavy question. His

954
00:54:00,560 --> 00:54:03,120
Speaker 1: sister Mary was living with their mama and going to

955
00:54:03,160 --> 00:54:06,640
Speaker 1: school in Pennsylvania. When she was closing her sophomore year,

956
00:54:06,680 --> 00:54:09,160
Speaker 1: she ended up getting pregnant by her boyfriend, who is

957
00:54:09,200 --> 00:54:13,160
Speaker 1: now twenty two. Mary and Craig's mama was incess. She

958
00:54:13,480 --> 00:54:15,719
Speaker 1: urged Mary to get an abortion several times, letting her

959
00:54:15,719 --> 00:54:18,400
Speaker 1: know that she was done raising babies and that Mary

960
00:54:18,560 --> 00:54:20,520
Speaker 1: was not going to live in her home if she

961
00:54:20,600 --> 00:54:23,600
Speaker 1: remained pregnant. Well, Mary said fuck all that and kept

962
00:54:23,600 --> 00:54:25,920
Speaker 1: the baby, and their mama kept her word, and the

963
00:54:25,960 --> 00:54:29,000
Speaker 1: span of a week, Mary was homeless and knocked up.

964
00:54:29,120 --> 00:54:32,040
Speaker 1: The boyfriend's family said she couldn't live there, and she

965
00:54:32,120 --> 00:54:34,320
Speaker 1: was essentially forced to transfer to a local school to

966
00:54:34,360 --> 00:54:37,480
Speaker 1: finish her education. Craig asked me one night if Mary

967
00:54:37,480 --> 00:54:40,239
Speaker 1: could stay with us. He explained the situation, and of

968
00:54:40,320 --> 00:54:42,719
Speaker 1: course I empathized and felt so bad for her. I

969
00:54:42,800 --> 00:54:46,040
Speaker 1: agreed to it following a conversation, emphasizing that she would

970
00:54:46,040 --> 00:54:48,560
Speaker 1: help out around the house, take care of herself, and

971
00:54:48,640 --> 00:54:51,359
Speaker 1: move out prior to her giving birth. Now this may

972
00:54:51,400 --> 00:54:53,719
Speaker 1: seem harsh, but I am not prepared to live in

973
00:54:53,760 --> 00:54:56,240
Speaker 1: a house with the baby, especially one that is not mine.

974
00:54:56,160 --> 00:54:56,880
Speaker 4: Or related to me.

975
00:54:57,160 --> 00:55:00,120
Speaker 1: Craig agreed to these terms and asserted that he he

976
00:55:00,200 --> 00:55:02,040
Speaker 1: also didn't want Mary to stay with us once she

977
00:55:02,080 --> 00:55:04,200
Speaker 1: had the baby and let her know that these were

978
00:55:04,200 --> 00:55:07,360
Speaker 1: the terms Mary accepted. But I'm starting to think this

979
00:55:07,520 --> 00:55:10,520
Speaker 1: half a forgot. First of all, she barely does her

980
00:55:10,520 --> 00:55:12,800
Speaker 1: part in this house. We're lucky to share a three bedroom,

981
00:55:12,840 --> 00:55:16,480
Speaker 1: two bath house within union laundry and brand new appliances.

982
00:55:16,840 --> 00:55:19,000
Speaker 1: Mary does not clean the kitchen. She's never swept her

983
00:55:19,040 --> 00:55:21,759
Speaker 1: mop and only wash his dishes He's personally used even

984
00:55:21,800 --> 00:55:24,440
Speaker 1: if the sink is full. Otherwise, she does not have

985
00:55:24,480 --> 00:55:27,399
Speaker 1: a job, so she doesn't pay for anything. Occasionally, she'll

986
00:55:27,480 --> 00:55:29,560
Speaker 1: use her boyfriend's food stamps to get groceres, but a

987
00:55:29,680 --> 00:55:32,400
Speaker 1: search that they are hers alone. She uses my bathroom

988
00:55:32,680 --> 00:55:35,840
Speaker 1: for everything but showering, and has never taken a Clorox

989
00:55:35,920 --> 00:55:39,439
Speaker 1: wipe to a single surface. She lets a whole bunch

990
00:55:39,440 --> 00:55:41,680
Speaker 1: of other habits here that are that are not too

991
00:55:41,719 --> 00:55:43,520
Speaker 1: hygentic that I think I'm gonna, you know, cut short

992
00:55:43,560 --> 00:55:43,839
Speaker 1: for them.

993
00:55:43,920 --> 00:55:47,399
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, okay.

994
00:55:48,520 --> 00:55:50,200
Speaker 4: Lastly, I have no idea when she's leaving.

995
00:55:50,280 --> 00:55:53,280
Speaker 1: We've collectively had several conversations reminding her that she cannot

996
00:55:53,280 --> 00:55:55,520
Speaker 1: give birth and remove to this home and returned to

997
00:55:55,560 --> 00:55:57,560
Speaker 1: this home with a baby. Craig has talked to her

998
00:55:57,560 --> 00:55:59,359
Speaker 1: one on one she as searched that she knows this,

999
00:55:59,600 --> 00:56:02,040
Speaker 1: but there's no plan in sight. She's about seven months

1000
00:56:02,120 --> 00:56:04,759
Speaker 1: right now, and the day draws nwe. I will not

1001
00:56:04,840 --> 00:56:06,680
Speaker 1: live in a house with an infant. Let me tell

1002
00:56:06,719 --> 00:56:09,359
Speaker 1: you that right now. My question is should I talk

1003
00:56:09,360 --> 00:56:11,680
Speaker 1: to her individually about her annoying habits and when she

1004
00:56:11,719 --> 00:56:14,200
Speaker 1: plans to leave, talk to Craig or just shut the

1005
00:56:14,200 --> 00:56:16,160
Speaker 1: fuck up because she's having a baby, and that in

1006
00:56:16,239 --> 00:56:19,200
Speaker 1: and of itself is hard. I'm conflicted. My nature is

1007
00:56:19,239 --> 00:56:21,840
Speaker 1: genuinely easy going, but I hate not feeling comfortable in

1008
00:56:21,880 --> 00:56:24,279
Speaker 1: a place where I pay rent and half the high

1009
00:56:24,400 --> 00:56:27,200
Speaker 1: s utilities. Please help, because I'm losing it. Yours truly.

1010
00:56:27,680 --> 00:56:37,600
Speaker 1: Nobody's auntie, Goddamn nobody's auntie. Man, This is like a

1011
00:56:37,640 --> 00:56:40,960
Speaker 1: really difficult question because the American social safety net is

1012
00:56:41,000 --> 00:56:46,000
Speaker 1: like trash. Like, yes, the ability of a person too.

1013
00:56:46,840 --> 00:56:48,719
Speaker 1: And there's a few things that I just that the

1014
00:56:48,760 --> 00:56:51,880
Speaker 1: Holy Ghost just told me in that little question I

1015
00:56:51,920 --> 00:56:55,760
Speaker 1: got to come back to. So yeah, American social safety

1016
00:56:55,840 --> 00:57:06,800
Speaker 1: that is trash. But your boundaries are important, and thinking

1017
00:57:06,920 --> 00:57:11,879
Speaker 1: through what you're comfortable with is important as well. It's

1018
00:57:11,880 --> 00:57:14,640
Speaker 1: an act of compassion, like even to let somebody like

1019
00:57:14,719 --> 00:57:17,480
Speaker 1: occupy your space. And I get that because I am

1020
00:57:17,560 --> 00:57:19,560
Speaker 1: in a three bedroom house and I don't want nobody

1021
00:57:19,600 --> 00:57:22,200
Speaker 1: else up in here with me. I like being alone.

1022
00:57:22,600 --> 00:57:25,480
Speaker 1: It is my firred state of existence. I have been

1023
00:57:25,640 --> 00:57:30,720
Speaker 1: naked practically twenty years of my life. This is awesome. Okay,

1024
00:57:31,200 --> 00:57:37,520
Speaker 1: get up, make coffee. But to the world, great, right then,

1025
00:57:38,200 --> 00:57:41,040
Speaker 1: Like you wanted to have your space to yourself or whatever,

1026
00:57:41,120 --> 00:57:44,960
Speaker 1: and so, and let's be clear, most people wouldn't do

1027
00:57:45,000 --> 00:57:48,280
Speaker 1: what you did. Most people wouldn't like open up their

1028
00:57:48,280 --> 00:57:51,480
Speaker 1: house and open up their home like most people who

1029
00:57:51,560 --> 00:57:54,280
Speaker 1: are Christians wouldn't do what you did, because if they would,

1030
00:57:54,400 --> 00:57:57,400
Speaker 1: we wouldn't have so many people in orphanage just now, right,

1031
00:57:57,720 --> 00:58:00,160
Speaker 1: all these people who talk about like oh well, or

1032
00:58:00,240 --> 00:58:02,919
Speaker 1: like go get you a kid out there they waiting

1033
00:58:03,000 --> 00:58:05,240
Speaker 1: for you. Buddy, you ain't got You ain't got like

1034
00:58:05,360 --> 00:58:07,680
Speaker 1: you know, stop moms for having, you know, getting a work,

1035
00:58:08,120 --> 00:58:10,360
Speaker 1: go to their horses, go to the orphanage. Don't get

1036
00:58:10,360 --> 00:58:14,280
Speaker 1: you one. So don't discount the fact that you even

1037
00:58:14,360 --> 00:58:16,640
Speaker 1: let this person into your home. I get that, right,

1038
00:58:17,640 --> 00:58:21,040
Speaker 1: that's a reality. And you do need to talk to

1039
00:58:21,120 --> 00:58:24,520
Speaker 1: your roommate about your level of comfort because you're not

1040
00:58:24,600 --> 00:58:27,960
Speaker 1: This is he's not doing you a favor by being

1041
00:58:27,960 --> 00:58:30,080
Speaker 1: your roommate. Y'all gotta be roommates to survive. This is

1042
00:58:30,120 --> 00:58:33,400
Speaker 1: a real type of situation, and with being in that

1043
00:58:33,440 --> 00:58:37,400
Speaker 1: situation it comes respect and like, there's things that I

1044
00:58:37,440 --> 00:58:40,200
Speaker 1: can do now not being in here with anybody else

1045
00:58:40,240 --> 00:58:42,680
Speaker 1: that I could not do with living with somebody else.

1046
00:58:42,840 --> 00:58:45,480
Speaker 1: Then I wouldn't do with somebody else was like simply visiting.

1047
00:58:46,080 --> 00:58:48,640
Speaker 1: That's just a level of respect and a level of

1048
00:58:49,920 --> 00:58:52,440
Speaker 1: efficiency that you have to keep the home and the

1049
00:58:52,480 --> 00:58:55,640
Speaker 1: house that when you're living with somebody else, if she there,

1050
00:58:56,200 --> 00:58:58,640
Speaker 1: she can't just be taken up. You know she's pregnant,

1051
00:58:58,840 --> 00:59:01,720
Speaker 1: Lord help him, help help up to the pregnancy. But

1052
00:59:01,760 --> 00:59:04,680
Speaker 1: at the same time, like you, you gotta care for

1053
00:59:04,720 --> 00:59:07,040
Speaker 1: yourself and you gotta make make sure that you like

1054
00:59:07,120 --> 00:59:10,640
Speaker 1: being respectful and honoring boundaries. And so if we have

1055
00:59:10,720 --> 00:59:12,800
Speaker 1: to have a conversation about boundaries and have to have

1056
00:59:12,840 --> 00:59:17,680
Speaker 1: a conversation about like how we are existing in this

1057
00:59:17,720 --> 00:59:21,160
Speaker 1: space together, you can do that with compassion. You can

1058
00:59:21,160 --> 00:59:24,360
Speaker 1: talk about what you yeah with with with compassion, you

1059
00:59:24,360 --> 00:59:26,480
Speaker 1: don't have to be like you have to nut up

1060
00:59:26,480 --> 00:59:28,320
Speaker 1: at him and like pull out your block or whatever,

1061
00:59:28,440 --> 00:59:30,200
Speaker 1: like you're like, you know, I'm just gonna sit this

1062
00:59:30,240 --> 00:59:30,760
Speaker 1: at the table.

1063
00:59:31,280 --> 00:59:31,760
Speaker 4: Is what it is.

1064
00:59:31,760 --> 00:59:33,160
Speaker 1: You can lead today, you can lead to day. You

1065
00:59:33,520 --> 00:59:35,880
Speaker 1: do all that people people know when they when they

1066
00:59:35,960 --> 00:59:39,320
Speaker 1: move in greasy, right, it's not a secret, Sonny noticed

1067
00:59:39,320 --> 00:59:41,400
Speaker 1: you you live in greasy. It's the reason, it's the

1068
00:59:41,480 --> 00:59:43,480
Speaker 1: reason why she had to leave a Mama Crill right

1069
00:59:43,600 --> 00:59:47,120
Speaker 1: beyond like the town type situation. People knowing that when

1070
00:59:47,120 --> 00:59:49,000
Speaker 1: they're being greasy, and she knows she can step up,

1071
00:59:49,760 --> 00:59:52,680
Speaker 1: and so keep that before her and also keep before

1072
00:59:52,720 --> 00:59:54,880
Speaker 1: her the reality that you need your spot back. You

1073
00:59:54,920 --> 00:59:57,000
Speaker 1: did this because she was pregnant, but you also need

1074
00:59:57,040 --> 01:00:01,200
Speaker 1: to see and it's really so difficult, right because what

1075
01:00:01,320 --> 01:00:04,360
Speaker 1: can you do when you're pregnant with like seven months preakant,

1076
01:00:04,400 --> 01:00:05,720
Speaker 1: you like visibly prankant.

1077
01:00:05,920 --> 01:00:08,480
Speaker 2: No, That's why I was gonna say, like it's almost

1078
01:00:08,520 --> 01:00:12,000
Speaker 2: compassionate to have the conversation sooner than later. So like, hey,

1079
01:00:12,120 --> 01:00:13,600
Speaker 2: I'm not trying, because I mean, I know when my

1080
01:00:13,600 --> 01:00:15,840
Speaker 2: wife was seven months pregnant, I wouldn't asked her to

1081
01:00:15,880 --> 01:00:17,600
Speaker 2: move from the one couch to the other side of

1082
01:00:17,600 --> 01:00:18,200
Speaker 2: the couch.

1083
01:00:18,240 --> 01:00:18,840
Speaker 3: You know what I mean.

1084
01:00:18,960 --> 01:00:23,360
Speaker 2: So yes, saying like, hey, you're seven months now, this

1085
01:00:23,440 --> 01:00:25,800
Speaker 2: is what the boundary is. I'm coming to you with

1086
01:00:25,880 --> 01:00:27,480
Speaker 2: compassion because I don't want to come to you when

1087
01:00:27,480 --> 01:00:30,120
Speaker 2: you're eight months pregnant or when you're holding.

1088
01:00:29,880 --> 01:00:32,360
Speaker 4: A baby and say you got to get the heck

1089
01:00:32,400 --> 01:00:34,120
Speaker 4: out of here. So yeah, I think that.

1090
01:00:34,800 --> 01:00:37,840
Speaker 2: Like you said, though, these things oftentimes get presented or

1091
01:00:37,840 --> 01:00:41,240
Speaker 2: they get answered with this sort of like sitcom type

1092
01:00:41,240 --> 01:00:42,440
Speaker 2: thing of like well.

1093
01:00:42,400 --> 01:00:43,880
Speaker 4: Do you let her live with you forever?

1094
01:00:44,360 --> 01:00:46,920
Speaker 2: Or do you physically kick her out of your house?

1095
01:00:47,240 --> 01:00:49,800
Speaker 2: Like you said, there's so much middle ground and still

1096
01:00:49,800 --> 01:00:52,960
Speaker 2: operate with compassion while being firm about your boundaries.

1097
01:00:53,120 --> 01:00:53,360
Speaker 4: Right.

1098
01:00:54,640 --> 01:00:57,080
Speaker 1: So, and another part about it is like you don't

1099
01:00:57,080 --> 01:00:59,760
Speaker 1: deserve to be miserable in order to accommodate somebody else's

1100
01:00:59,760 --> 01:01:03,080
Speaker 1: exis like, that's not God ain't called you to do

1101
01:01:03,120 --> 01:01:03,800
Speaker 1: that either.

1102
01:01:04,720 --> 01:01:06,720
Speaker 4: Real ship. All right?

1103
01:01:06,800 --> 01:01:11,040
Speaker 1: The next question here is bro, It's from Julius, Bros.

1104
01:01:11,040 --> 01:01:13,560
Speaker 1: What's the word? Thanks for what y'all doing? The laughs,

1105
01:01:13,600 --> 01:01:15,720
Speaker 1: an insight you provide. Only question I got for the

1106
01:01:15,760 --> 01:01:18,440
Speaker 1: God Solomon? Is this tulm?

1107
01:01:18,920 --> 01:01:19,600
Speaker 4: That was it?

1108
01:01:21,400 --> 01:01:23,600
Speaker 1: These whole California's got on me for the way I

1109
01:01:23,680 --> 01:01:25,880
Speaker 1: mispronounced that fucking word. I try to tell him, Bro,

1110
01:01:25,920 --> 01:01:28,360
Speaker 1: it's East Coasters. We be vacation in the Caribbean. Bro,

1111
01:01:28,440 --> 01:01:30,680
Speaker 1: Like Atlanta's be like, that's our tulum.

1112
01:01:30,720 --> 01:01:30,959
Speaker 4: Dog.

1113
01:01:31,600 --> 01:01:36,920
Speaker 1: Atlanta is a tulum. So oh yeah, man, that's like

1114
01:01:36,960 --> 01:01:40,200
Speaker 1: the capitol. That's like the mecca for like all hot

1115
01:01:40,280 --> 01:01:43,600
Speaker 1: girls on Instagram taloon. If you're on Instagram and you're

1116
01:01:43,640 --> 01:01:46,600
Speaker 1: like somebody in a bikini, they like tuloom. They they

1117
01:01:46,640 --> 01:01:49,720
Speaker 1: are like in Mexico right now doing hot girl activity.

1118
01:01:49,800 --> 01:01:52,320
Speaker 1: So if you see like hashtag taloom, you already know

1119
01:01:52,320 --> 01:01:57,880
Speaker 1: what time it is. Mark Readers and Madness.

1120
01:02:01,600 --> 01:02:01,920
Speaker 4: All right.

1121
01:02:01,960 --> 01:02:03,480
Speaker 1: So so here's the last one here, and this is

1122
01:02:03,480 --> 01:02:06,760
Speaker 1: from Thomas. So, if you fail to love the wife

1123
01:02:06,760 --> 01:02:11,320
Speaker 1: of your youth and the inevitable split happened, what options

1124
01:02:11,360 --> 01:02:14,560
Speaker 1: are available to a black man of means with grown

1125
01:02:14,640 --> 01:02:18,680
Speaker 1: kids in prime earning years ps not interested in women

1126
01:02:18,760 --> 01:02:24,680
Speaker 1: under forty? All right? So I thought about this, man. One.

1127
01:02:26,040 --> 01:02:29,560
Speaker 1: I'm sorry that like you, that you had difficulties in

1128
01:02:29,600 --> 01:02:32,520
Speaker 1: your previous relationship. So I want to acknowledge that that's

1129
01:02:32,520 --> 01:02:35,640
Speaker 1: a reality, that's real situation. Like people go through divorce

1130
01:02:35,680 --> 01:02:42,080
Speaker 1: every day. I'm divorced. I get it. Two options and

1131
01:02:42,120 --> 01:02:44,280
Speaker 1: This is something that like a lot of times guys

1132
01:02:44,280 --> 01:02:51,600
Speaker 1: don't think about and consider. Dating is a reflection of

1133
01:02:51,640 --> 01:02:59,480
Speaker 1: the communities that you occupy. One of the problems that

1134
01:02:59,520 --> 01:03:03,400
Speaker 1: we are experiencing and dating is that we have commoditized

1135
01:03:03,440 --> 01:03:08,480
Speaker 1: it and that we have made it a reflection of consumerism.

1136
01:03:09,400 --> 01:03:11,920
Speaker 1: So you go on the app like you do all

1137
01:03:11,920 --> 01:03:15,640
Speaker 1: the other apps, and you are looking for a brand,

1138
01:03:16,200 --> 01:03:18,280
Speaker 1: and you're looking for like a You're trying to make

1139
01:03:18,320 --> 01:03:23,200
Speaker 1: a purchase decision. That is not what a relationship is about.

1140
01:03:24,240 --> 01:03:28,880
Speaker 1: A relationship is not a purchase. A relationship is a synthesis.

1141
01:03:29,800 --> 01:03:33,280
Speaker 1: It is a active work between you and another human

1142
01:03:33,320 --> 01:03:35,920
Speaker 1: being in order to cultivate something called love. It is

1143
01:03:35,920 --> 01:03:41,120
Speaker 1: a synthesis. It's a mixture. It's more chemistry than like procurement.

1144
01:03:43,400 --> 01:03:46,040
Speaker 1: We want to go out and get somebody and bring

1145
01:03:46,040 --> 01:03:49,520
Speaker 1: them home and like make them fit right in this

1146
01:03:49,680 --> 01:03:52,440
Speaker 1: thing that we were doing before. That is not a relationship.

1147
01:03:53,760 --> 01:03:56,720
Speaker 1: Once you go get this person and you go like

1148
01:03:56,840 --> 01:04:00,600
Speaker 1: bring them into your space, into your life, the life

1149
01:04:00,640 --> 01:04:04,200
Speaker 1: that you had before is gone, the life that they

1150
01:04:04,200 --> 01:04:09,160
Speaker 1: had before is gone. You all are doing something different together, right,

1151
01:04:09,200 --> 01:04:11,840
Speaker 1: This is a totally different thing. So that would like

1152
01:04:11,920 --> 01:04:16,400
Speaker 1: three things that were interested in me. In his question one,

1153
01:04:17,160 --> 01:04:21,680
Speaker 1: where do I go in order to like date success,

1154
01:04:21,760 --> 01:04:23,520
Speaker 1: all my kids grown or whatever? I'm trying to have them.

1155
01:04:23,880 --> 01:04:25,800
Speaker 4: Daddy got to have his life.

1156
01:04:27,840 --> 01:04:30,720
Speaker 1: So the question I have for them one is this,

1157
01:04:32,360 --> 01:04:36,040
Speaker 1: what are the communities that you occupy presently?

1158
01:04:36,120 --> 01:04:36,480
Speaker 4: Look like?

1159
01:04:37,280 --> 01:04:41,400
Speaker 1: What communities are you involved with? If that's a fake community, find,

1160
01:04:41,440 --> 01:04:43,760
Speaker 1: if that's a social group, find what are you doing

1161
01:04:43,840 --> 01:04:47,160
Speaker 1: beyond yourself? Because those are the people that you are

1162
01:04:47,200 --> 01:04:50,280
Speaker 1: in contact with, right The people who share the same

1163
01:04:50,360 --> 01:04:52,880
Speaker 1: qualities and the same values as you do are going

1164
01:04:52,920 --> 01:04:55,760
Speaker 1: to be reflections of the communities that you occupy. This

1165
01:04:55,840 --> 01:04:57,640
Speaker 1: is all about where you like where you have. If

1166
01:04:57,680 --> 01:05:01,360
Speaker 1: it's a motorcycle club, like what quality tea do they

1167
01:05:01,360 --> 01:05:03,840
Speaker 1: have an all those clubs? If it's the barn, it's

1168
01:05:03,880 --> 01:05:06,040
Speaker 1: different kind of barns, Like what kind of spotness do

1169
01:05:06,080 --> 01:05:09,360
Speaker 1: you go to? Where are you at with it? Second

1170
01:05:09,360 --> 01:05:13,480
Speaker 1: thing is what are you doing beyond yourself? Are you

1171
01:05:13,600 --> 01:05:19,600
Speaker 1: cunservating compassion, consciousness and consideration in real intangible ways? Like

1172
01:05:19,640 --> 01:05:21,720
Speaker 1: are you are you a nice guy because you want

1173
01:05:21,720 --> 01:05:24,120
Speaker 1: other people to say that you're a nice guy, or

1174
01:05:24,160 --> 01:05:30,560
Speaker 1: are you like actively trying to advance care in the earth. Now,

1175
01:05:30,880 --> 01:05:32,480
Speaker 1: if you just want to be out here because you

1176
01:05:32,520 --> 01:05:33,960
Speaker 1: want to be out here and you want some hot

1177
01:05:33,960 --> 01:05:37,960
Speaker 1: boys stuff, which is cool, like do your thing, acknowledge that,

1178
01:05:38,280 --> 01:05:40,240
Speaker 1: But I also acknowledge the foolish system comes with it,

1179
01:05:41,000 --> 01:05:42,920
Speaker 1: because you're gonna get the foolishism that comes with it.

1180
01:05:42,920 --> 01:05:45,360
Speaker 1: If that's what you're trying to be on, you gonna sew,

1181
01:05:45,400 --> 01:05:47,360
Speaker 1: You're gonna read whatever you saw, whatever you're putting out,

1182
01:05:47,400 --> 01:05:51,080
Speaker 1: that's what you're gonna get in right. But if you're

1183
01:05:51,080 --> 01:05:53,000
Speaker 1: trying to do this in like a different way, you

1184
01:05:53,080 --> 01:05:55,240
Speaker 1: have to be conscious of the communities that you occupy it.

1185
01:05:55,640 --> 01:05:57,240
Speaker 1: The second or third thing that I found to be

1186
01:05:57,280 --> 01:06:02,400
Speaker 1: interesting was he said that he is a man of means, okay,

1187
01:06:03,640 --> 01:06:09,120
Speaker 1: and two he's in his prime earning years. Brethren. That

1188
01:06:09,240 --> 01:06:14,080
Speaker 1: has nothing to do with you dating these people. It

1189
01:06:14,200 --> 01:06:17,120
Speaker 1: has nothing to do with you being a healthy partner.

1190
01:06:17,960 --> 01:06:20,640
Speaker 1: That has nothing to do and I and I understand

1191
01:06:20,680 --> 01:06:24,600
Speaker 1: the pushback to that because it takes resources to accommodate

1192
01:06:24,600 --> 01:06:29,000
Speaker 1: and facilitate love and care. Right, none is free. I

1193
01:06:29,120 --> 01:06:32,960
Speaker 1: understand understand that in aa like granular level, at a

1194
01:06:33,200 --> 01:06:35,640
Speaker 1: like foundational level, none of this is free. It takes.

1195
01:06:35,680 --> 01:06:37,000
Speaker 1: You know, you got to have money to do things

1196
01:06:37,040 --> 01:06:42,240
Speaker 1: that you're trying to do in life, but your ability

1197
01:06:43,400 --> 01:06:47,600
Speaker 1: to like earn, it's not a reflection of your ability

1198
01:06:47,640 --> 01:06:52,360
Speaker 1: to care being a good partner, And we don't tell

1199
01:06:52,440 --> 01:06:56,720
Speaker 1: men that enough. Like your competency as a partner, as

1200
01:06:56,720 --> 01:07:00,880
Speaker 1: an intimate partner is greater than your paycheck, Like your

1201
01:07:00,920 --> 01:07:04,920
Speaker 1: direct deposit does not mean you have a competency to

1202
01:07:05,040 --> 01:07:07,320
Speaker 1: care for this person in real in intentional ways and

1203
01:07:07,400 --> 01:07:10,600
Speaker 1: ways that speak to who they are. Right, So you

1204
01:07:10,720 --> 01:07:14,960
Speaker 1: have to be able to describe yourself in ways that

1205
01:07:15,160 --> 01:07:19,439
Speaker 1: are relevant to the activity that you want to participate in.

1206
01:07:19,840 --> 01:07:21,880
Speaker 1: You're trying to find a relationship or you're trying to

1207
01:07:21,920 --> 01:07:25,400
Speaker 1: manage a portfolio, because if you're trying to be like

1208
01:07:25,480 --> 01:07:28,600
Speaker 1: a money manager, you should definitely tell people that you

1209
01:07:28,640 --> 01:07:32,000
Speaker 1: are in your prime earning years. But if you're trying

1210
01:07:32,000 --> 01:07:34,080
Speaker 1: to like, actually, if you trying to find a woman

1211
01:07:34,400 --> 01:07:36,880
Speaker 1: and somebody who's stacked up, you need to tell them

1212
01:07:36,880 --> 01:07:38,600
Speaker 1: that you can do more than like just be a

1213
01:07:38,680 --> 01:07:46,640
Speaker 1: check because that's a basement level expectations, and women are

1214
01:07:46,640 --> 01:07:50,040
Speaker 1: asking us for more than just like basement level expectations.

1215
01:07:50,680 --> 01:07:52,680
Speaker 1: You gotta check cool, you got a car. Cool. Everybody

1216
01:07:52,720 --> 01:07:54,800
Speaker 1: has a car, they tell millions of them a year.

1217
01:07:56,440 --> 01:08:00,959
Speaker 1: Can you think right? Are you participant in like care

1218
01:08:01,560 --> 01:08:04,760
Speaker 1: when I need something, not money wise, if I need

1219
01:08:04,760 --> 01:08:07,920
Speaker 1: something emotionally? Can you take out time? Can you be considerate?

1220
01:08:08,240 --> 01:08:09,680
Speaker 1: Like the ways that I make the most instincts of

1221
01:08:09,720 --> 01:08:12,800
Speaker 1: my relationships is like I I was thinking about all

1222
01:08:12,800 --> 01:08:14,240
Speaker 1: this stuff that we could like spend money on. But

1223
01:08:14,480 --> 01:08:16,439
Speaker 1: it was the time that she was really asking for.

1224
01:08:17,760 --> 01:08:19,720
Speaker 1: She wanted me to be like, be aware of how

1225
01:08:19,720 --> 01:08:22,720
Speaker 1: she was feeling, be aware of what you know, like

1226
01:08:22,760 --> 01:08:25,559
Speaker 1: she was going through. Not trying to fix her, but

1227
01:08:25,640 --> 01:08:29,679
Speaker 1: try to listen to her, you know, so again now finally,

1228
01:08:30,080 --> 01:08:35,680
Speaker 1: But it was but it was like, I'm a man

1229
01:08:35,720 --> 01:08:39,479
Speaker 1: of means, but what do you what are you telling women?

1230
01:08:40,000 --> 01:08:43,080
Speaker 1: Because you're telling me this, then I noticed how you

1231
01:08:43,200 --> 01:08:48,160
Speaker 1: leading with women. So you gotta we gotta really think

1232
01:08:48,200 --> 01:08:52,160
Speaker 1: about how we're leading in these conversations beyond trying to

1233
01:08:52,240 --> 01:08:55,880
Speaker 1: lead with our bread and then be upset when people

1234
01:08:55,920 --> 01:08:59,479
Speaker 1: after our bread. I didn't put it out like.

1235
01:08:59,400 --> 01:09:01,280
Speaker 4: That, right, I think an important piece.

1236
01:09:01,320 --> 01:09:03,759
Speaker 2: And we're old enough now that I've got several friends

1237
01:09:03,760 --> 01:09:07,439
Speaker 2: who you know, are on their second marriage or looking

1238
01:09:07,439 --> 01:09:09,040
Speaker 2: for a relationship after a divorce.

1239
01:09:09,600 --> 01:09:10,240
Speaker 3: And I know that.

1240
01:09:10,320 --> 01:09:12,200
Speaker 2: So my wife and I have been together since we're eighteen,

1241
01:09:12,520 --> 01:09:15,760
Speaker 2: which fortunately we were young and broken up. It was like,

1242
01:09:16,080 --> 01:09:17,760
Speaker 2: of course, we don't have any money when we got together.

1243
01:09:17,760 --> 01:09:20,479
Speaker 2: We're fucking eighteen years old, right, Like all of the

1244
01:09:20,600 --> 01:09:23,240
Speaker 2: sort of like Twitter stuff about dating, we just didn't

1245
01:09:23,240 --> 01:09:25,080
Speaker 2: have to worry about it. But I know that's one

1246
01:09:25,080 --> 01:09:27,280
Speaker 2: thing she will always tell people, and I always tell people,

1247
01:09:27,320 --> 01:09:31,120
Speaker 2: is the more honestly you present yourself, the more honest

1248
01:09:31,160 --> 01:09:33,760
Speaker 2: the response you're getting from someone is. Right, So, if

1249
01:09:33,760 --> 01:09:36,320
Speaker 2: he's out here looking to have fun, go to places

1250
01:09:36,360 --> 01:09:38,800
Speaker 2: that people have fun, and be honest about what you're

1251
01:09:38,800 --> 01:09:41,120
Speaker 2: looking for. But like you said, if what you're doing

1252
01:09:41,200 --> 01:09:43,479
Speaker 2: is you're telling someone you want to be with I'm

1253
01:09:43,520 --> 01:09:46,880
Speaker 2: a man of means, that's not a good sales pitch

1254
01:09:47,000 --> 01:09:49,439
Speaker 2: unless what you're looking for is someone who wants to

1255
01:09:49,439 --> 01:09:50,360
Speaker 2: be with a man of means.

1256
01:09:50,360 --> 01:09:53,400
Speaker 4: And I don't think that's what you're looking for, right, Right,

1257
01:09:53,439 --> 01:09:54,040
Speaker 4: You're looking.

1258
01:09:53,880 --> 01:09:55,920
Speaker 2: For someone who wants to have fun, and so I

1259
01:09:55,920 --> 01:09:57,799
Speaker 2: think you know, be honest about that.

1260
01:09:58,240 --> 01:09:59,840
Speaker 4: And seek at those places.

1261
01:10:00,160 --> 01:10:00,559
Speaker 3: But don't.

1262
01:10:00,720 --> 01:10:02,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, I have the same reaction.

1263
01:10:03,080 --> 01:10:06,040
Speaker 3: It's not a good pitch to say.

1264
01:10:05,160 --> 01:10:08,040
Speaker 1: Because I mean, if you looking for hot girls, you're

1265
01:10:08,040 --> 01:10:09,560
Speaker 1: gonna look, you're gonna run it to hot girls with

1266
01:10:09,680 --> 01:10:12,360
Speaker 1: hot girl activities, and buddy, they gonna spin it, they

1267
01:10:12,439 --> 01:10:14,400
Speaker 1: gonna win, and they're gonna do it better than you're

1268
01:10:14,400 --> 01:10:17,000
Speaker 1: gonna do it. So you gotta understand, especially if you

1269
01:10:17,520 --> 01:10:20,120
Speaker 1: if you like, you know, late forties knocking on fifty.

1270
01:10:20,479 --> 01:10:22,559
Speaker 1: But that ain't what you wanna be in. Man, listen,

1271
01:10:22,600 --> 01:10:26,960
Speaker 1: because they they have the stamina for it. They can

1272
01:10:27,080 --> 01:10:29,479
Speaker 1: like spind your bread and all this you can do

1273
01:10:29,560 --> 01:10:31,640
Speaker 1: is like take the little blue pills and just be

1274
01:10:31,720 --> 01:10:35,240
Speaker 1: stretched out and have like heart competition. You know, that's

1275
01:10:35,280 --> 01:10:36,960
Speaker 1: not the business you're trying to be in right now.

1276
01:10:37,680 --> 01:10:41,000
Speaker 1: To be with somebody who's steady, who like ain't gonna

1277
01:10:41,000 --> 01:10:43,120
Speaker 1: mess up your credit. We ain't gonna have you out

1278
01:10:43,120 --> 01:10:45,479
Speaker 1: here fighting in the streets, you know, who's not gonna

1279
01:10:45,479 --> 01:10:48,439
Speaker 1: be on Instagram typing up like stuff like look at

1280
01:10:48,439 --> 01:10:51,720
Speaker 1: this nigga. You know that's not what you want right now.

1281
01:10:52,479 --> 01:10:57,040
Speaker 1: You want something that's gonna be like stable, right right

1282
01:10:57,320 --> 01:11:00,719
Speaker 1: right right, So nah no, don't come out here leading

1283
01:11:00,800 --> 01:11:04,840
Speaker 1: like that, man, you know, And the other thing breath

1284
01:11:05,080 --> 01:11:07,639
Speaker 1: and this's go for me too. You out here trying

1285
01:11:07,680 --> 01:11:10,599
Speaker 1: to date, have somebody else take some pictures for you.

1286
01:11:11,880 --> 01:11:15,559
Speaker 1: Have somebody else take your profile pictures for you. Why

1287
01:11:15,760 --> 01:11:18,720
Speaker 1: is the camera so close to your nose? Why can't

1288
01:11:18,720 --> 01:11:23,559
Speaker 1: you Why? Why is looking like you know, you off

1289
01:11:23,600 --> 01:11:26,400
Speaker 1: center or whatever? You're looking like you and we stay

1290
01:11:26,479 --> 01:11:29,120
Speaker 1: We're always staring at the camera in a way that's

1291
01:11:29,160 --> 01:11:32,200
Speaker 1: perpendicular to the shot, so it looks like we're suspect

1292
01:11:32,280 --> 01:11:35,800
Speaker 1: of the camera. We don't trust the camera. Have somebody

1293
01:11:35,840 --> 01:11:38,760
Speaker 1: else take your profile pictures uploading that way. Stop taking

1294
01:11:38,800 --> 01:11:40,680
Speaker 1: pictures with fish in your hands unless you're trying to

1295
01:11:40,680 --> 01:11:44,800
Speaker 1: find somebody who like farmers only like, have somebody help

1296
01:11:44,880 --> 01:11:47,320
Speaker 1: you with your profile that can actually talk about the

1297
01:11:47,360 --> 01:11:50,200
Speaker 1: things that you want, who you are and what you're

1298
01:11:50,240 --> 01:11:50,760
Speaker 1: trying to do.

1299
01:11:51,320 --> 01:11:54,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, we call that functional advice. That's functional advice.

1300
01:11:54,400 --> 01:11:59,200
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think that him wanting wanting a woman forty

1301
01:11:59,200 --> 01:12:01,120
Speaker 1: plus here as a new wrinkle to this.

1302
01:12:01,200 --> 01:12:02,680
Speaker 4: And I want you all to follow me with with

1303
01:12:02,720 --> 01:12:03,439
Speaker 4: where I'm going here.

1304
01:12:03,520 --> 01:12:06,600
Speaker 1: Right, Okay, So you know how our parents try to

1305
01:12:06,600 --> 01:12:09,040
Speaker 1: give a job application advice and it's so outdated, Like

1306
01:12:09,040 --> 01:12:10,840
Speaker 1: your mama will tell you you need to put on

1307
01:12:10,880 --> 01:12:14,400
Speaker 1: a suit, go to some offices and hands right right,

1308
01:12:14,400 --> 01:12:15,759
Speaker 1: shake some hands, give them your resume.

1309
01:12:15,800 --> 01:12:16,679
Speaker 4: That's how you get a job.

1310
01:12:16,880 --> 01:12:18,479
Speaker 1: And you know, we got to come back to Mama,

1311
01:12:18,560 --> 01:12:21,360
Speaker 1: like it's twenty twenty three. We apply, we pick up

1312
01:12:21,360 --> 01:12:22,800
Speaker 1: our phone, we hop on a d we apply to

1313
01:12:22,840 --> 01:12:24,920
Speaker 1: fifty jobs a day until we get one, right, Like

1314
01:12:24,920 --> 01:12:28,840
Speaker 1: that's how that shit works now, Okay, So to bring

1315
01:12:28,880 --> 01:12:30,760
Speaker 1: that back to this, like, if you're twenty five years

1316
01:12:30,800 --> 01:12:32,720
Speaker 1: old or whatever and you go through a breakup and

1317
01:12:32,720 --> 01:12:34,920
Speaker 1: you want to get back out there dating, you know

1318
01:12:35,680 --> 01:12:37,559
Speaker 1: what do you do? You fire that phone up, right,

1319
01:12:37,600 --> 01:12:39,920
Speaker 1: you hop on tender and get the swiping. You start

1320
01:12:39,920 --> 01:12:42,520
Speaker 1: going crazy with the likes and the new picks on Igor,

1321
01:12:42,840 --> 01:12:44,519
Speaker 1: or you know, to throw that bas signal up, or

1322
01:12:44,560 --> 01:12:47,280
Speaker 1: you slide in some Twitter dms, you know, much in

1323
01:12:47,280 --> 01:12:49,719
Speaker 1: a way that like, you know, we apply for jobs

1324
01:12:49,720 --> 01:12:52,320
Speaker 1: on our phone these days, like younger folks hop on

1325
01:12:52,320 --> 01:12:54,360
Speaker 1: that phone and they find a new romantic partner this

1326
01:12:54,640 --> 01:12:58,280
Speaker 1: very same way. Now, if you want a forty plus

1327
01:12:58,400 --> 01:13:00,799
Speaker 1: year old woman, you will have to listen to Mama's

1328
01:13:00,800 --> 01:13:03,640
Speaker 1: advice on this one. You have to pound the pavement, bro,

1329
01:13:04,080 --> 01:13:06,000
Speaker 1: You gonna have to you gona have to hop out

1330
01:13:06,000 --> 01:13:07,760
Speaker 1: there in these streets. You gonna have to find some

1331
01:13:07,800 --> 01:13:12,360
Speaker 1: cigar lounges. You had to find some karaoke spots, right,

1332
01:13:12,400 --> 01:13:13,680
Speaker 1: And this man said he wants some black women, So

1333
01:13:13,720 --> 01:13:15,320
Speaker 1: you have to go to karaoke spots where they're singing

1334
01:13:15,360 --> 01:13:17,519
Speaker 1: Mary Jay and not Taylor Swift. Right, you got to

1335
01:13:17,560 --> 01:13:21,040
Speaker 1: hit some goddamn all white Labor day parties. You got

1336
01:13:21,040 --> 01:13:22,840
Speaker 1: to keep your ears to the streets on when when

1337
01:13:23,000 --> 01:13:26,559
Speaker 1: s w B Is coming to your chwn do a show, right,

1338
01:13:26,800 --> 01:13:28,280
Speaker 1: you got to get them to take you know, get that.

1339
01:13:28,960 --> 01:13:31,840
Speaker 1: The best place to find women of a certain age

1340
01:13:32,400 --> 01:13:37,960
Speaker 1: who are single, it's Saturday morning, ten to two o'clock

1341
01:13:38,840 --> 01:13:44,120
Speaker 1: home depot in the plant department. That's when they have all.

1342
01:13:44,920 --> 01:13:48,040
Speaker 1: That's when they have time. What I tell y'all, they

1343
01:13:48,120 --> 01:13:51,080
Speaker 1: headed to They hit it the home depot loads. They're

1344
01:13:51,120 --> 01:13:53,320
Speaker 1: going to get the plants together, especially now because it's

1345
01:13:53,320 --> 01:13:57,040
Speaker 1: trying to get warm. They're out there and they the

1346
01:13:57,040 --> 01:13:59,360
Speaker 1: people are them kids. They're not going to home depot.

1347
01:14:00,200 --> 01:14:02,479
Speaker 1: They're trying to get as much sleep as possible. I said,

1348
01:14:02,520 --> 01:14:06,080
Speaker 1: ten o'clock, ten o'clock. You gotta be on time, and

1349
01:14:06,120 --> 01:14:08,080
Speaker 1: you gonna know who they are. You're gonna see them

1350
01:14:08,080 --> 01:14:10,439
Speaker 1: walking whatever, getting they look planing together, so far and

1351
01:14:10,479 --> 01:14:13,679
Speaker 1: so on, no ring on, go up to and ask them, hey,

1352
01:14:13,720 --> 01:14:15,360
Speaker 1: do you need some help getting the most of your car?

1353
01:14:16,439 --> 01:14:18,040
Speaker 1: See if they're interested in it, if they open to

1354
01:14:18,040 --> 01:14:24,080
Speaker 1: it or whatever. Sunday Target, run through target. You're gonna

1355
01:14:24,080 --> 01:14:26,800
Speaker 1: see whoever out there or whatever whatever they open to it,

1356
01:14:26,800 --> 01:14:31,400
Speaker 1: they open to it. Places that are functional. Man, anytime

1357
01:14:31,400 --> 01:14:33,760
Speaker 1: the Aka's or the Delts come in town, you need

1358
01:14:33,800 --> 01:14:38,280
Speaker 1: to be right there with matter of fact, join a chapter,

1359
01:14:39,240 --> 01:14:42,320
Speaker 1: Brad child, be out there with them. You know, do

1360
01:14:42,479 --> 01:14:46,320
Speaker 1: think be places and in community is what I'm talking about,

1361
01:14:46,360 --> 01:14:49,679
Speaker 1: Like what kind of communities are you occupying that reflect

1362
01:14:49,760 --> 01:14:53,360
Speaker 1: the values that you are trying to attract? Because if

1363
01:14:53,400 --> 01:14:57,200
Speaker 1: you're not in you're like I tell you all the time,

1364
01:14:57,240 --> 01:14:58,600
Speaker 1: like don't dat in church. I don't be cause I

1365
01:14:58,600 --> 01:15:01,679
Speaker 1: think it's like a place of spiritual healing and repair.

1366
01:15:02,080 --> 01:15:06,120
Speaker 1: But shucks, and not every church because like my church

1367
01:15:06,160 --> 01:15:07,439
Speaker 1: got a whole bunch of old people in it, which

1368
01:15:07,479 --> 01:15:11,679
Speaker 1: is fine, Jesus, they really do you know a church

1369
01:15:11,760 --> 01:15:15,679
Speaker 1: it's got like it's some baddies in there. Go to church.

1370
01:15:16,800 --> 01:15:21,240
Speaker 1: Not not my church because you ain't gonna be messing

1371
01:15:21,320 --> 01:15:22,600
Speaker 1: up my church. I'm gonna have you like nah, but

1372
01:15:22,760 --> 01:15:25,720
Speaker 1: you gotta go. But go to church, I mean go

1373
01:15:25,800 --> 01:15:29,680
Speaker 1: to a place, go to a community that reflects the

1374
01:15:29,800 --> 01:15:32,160
Speaker 1: values that you're trying to attract. Like do it in

1375
01:15:32,200 --> 01:15:34,519
Speaker 1: really situation, you have to change, like move how you move.

1376
01:15:34,600 --> 01:15:38,320
Speaker 1: You can't just be waiting for to attract people who

1377
01:15:38,479 --> 01:15:41,240
Speaker 1: like the things that you like. So like men go

1378
01:15:41,760 --> 01:15:43,960
Speaker 1: to the cigar bar and try to find women who

1379
01:15:43,960 --> 01:15:46,400
Speaker 1: smoke a cigar. But that's what you like to do,

1380
01:15:47,360 --> 01:15:49,640
Speaker 1: that's not what that's not It may not be the

1381
01:15:49,680 --> 01:15:52,080
Speaker 1: type of people that you're trying to attract. The woman

1382
01:15:52,080 --> 01:15:55,080
Speaker 1: who in the cigar bar, she may not be the

1383
01:15:55,080 --> 01:15:56,799
Speaker 1: one for you.

1384
01:15:57,080 --> 01:15:59,040
Speaker 4: She's just forty bro. You know what I'm saying.

1385
01:16:00,080 --> 01:16:01,479
Speaker 1: You kind of do the same thing you're trying to do.

1386
01:16:01,560 --> 01:16:03,400
Speaker 1: That may not be where you're trying to be.

1387
01:16:03,800 --> 01:16:08,720
Speaker 2: Right well, I think home, depot, target, and church is

1388
01:16:08,760 --> 01:16:11,800
Speaker 2: the definition of functional advice. Pastor Solomon, thank you so

1389
01:16:11,880 --> 01:16:13,479
Speaker 2: much for hopping on with us man. I think that

1390
01:16:13,600 --> 01:16:16,200
Speaker 2: was funny and also super informative for our listeners. Thank

1391
01:16:16,200 --> 01:16:18,000
Speaker 2: you to all the listeners who wrote in with questions.

1392
01:16:18,000 --> 01:16:20,240
Speaker 2: We appreciate you guys too, but Solomon thanks again for

1393
01:16:20,240 --> 01:16:21,479
Speaker 2: hopping on and we really appreciate

1394
01:16:21,520 --> 01:16:24,280
Speaker 1: You, appreci thank youself for so It was a great

1395
01:16:24,320 --> 01:16:24,800
Speaker 1: time man,