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Speaker 1: I just found out my fiance is a liar, but

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Speaker 1: I'm supposed to marry her in two weeks. And this

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Speaker 1: is part three. It's crazier, but we get a little

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Speaker 1: TLDR to catch everyone up to speed. For part one

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Speaker 1: and two, a man discovers his fiance, Sarah, has been

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Speaker 1: helping her sister Evelyn, cover up a six month affair

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Speaker 1: with Evelyn super spicy hot coworker. He finds evidence on

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Speaker 1: Sarah's phone decides to cancel their wedding, which is just

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Speaker 1: two weeks away. He helps Evelyn's husband Marty, gather proof,

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Speaker 1: including tracking Evelyn to a bar and catching her cheating

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Speaker 1: partner visiting her home. When the man confronts Sarah and

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Speaker 1: calls off the wedding, she breaks down, pleading for another chance. Meanwhile,

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Speaker 1: Evelyn attacks him in rage, leading to her arrest. Tensions

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Speaker 1: escalate further only when Sarah accuses him of spicy texting

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Speaker 1: and only pans models talking chefs, but it turns out

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Speaker 1: his brother was using his computer for this. During a visit,

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Speaker 1: Sarah admits to being a people pleaser due to childhood

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Speaker 1: bullying by Evelyn, but the man realizes he doesn't truly

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Speaker 1: know her after six years the other. Despite her please,

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Speaker 1: the wedding remains canceled and their future as a couple

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Speaker 1: is uncertain as he grapples with her betrayal and the

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Speaker 1: fallout from their relationship. This update has taken longer to

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Speaker 1: get around too then I originally attended, and a lot

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Speaker 1: of things happened to the last couple of days that

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Speaker 1: have kept me pretty busy. So now we're getting end

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Speaker 1: to the actual thing. Let's go. You ready, Let's do it.

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Speaker 1: And it really wasn't until today when I had some

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Speaker 1: free time after lunch that I could sit down and

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Speaker 1: get this out. I'll try to get through as much

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Speaker 1: as I can before that. However, I just want to

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Speaker 1: mention a couple things in response to commons from the

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Speaker 1: last post, and I'll try to be brief. By the way,

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Speaker 1: this comes from one top three nine three four on

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Speaker 1: the art slash Okay story time, but ce'll bred it. So. Firstly,

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Speaker 1: I don't know much of what's going on with Marty

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Speaker 1: and his divorce other than to my knowledge he's still

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Speaker 1: divorcing her. Let's go boom. Obviously, no papers or anything,

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Speaker 1: but the intention is clear. In addition to that, I'm

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Speaker 1: not really in the position to be advocating for any

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Speaker 1: sort of course of action that Marty should take, or

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Speaker 1: offering him legal advice yep. Or assisting him in doing

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Speaker 1: anything to the other man or tracking down the other

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Speaker 1: man's wife, etc. Marty is a grown man, but he

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Speaker 1: could do whatever he wants with this situation, and my

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Speaker 1: position as his friend is just to support him and

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Speaker 1: offer advice if he asks for it, but not legal advice.

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Speaker 1: I like it. I like it. You've done. Yeah, step back,

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Speaker 1: step back, you've done. You've done what you did? Step back. Secondly,

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Speaker 1: this isn't some sort of gorilla marketing for an only

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Speaker 1: pans girl. Dude, I'm freaking called it. Brother. If it was,

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Speaker 1: I should have done it on the first post, which

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Speaker 1: hit the front page of Reddit and was seen by

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Speaker 1: over three million people. WHOA. Also, Given that this post

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Speaker 1: got so popular and read it, it's not really a

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Speaker 1: surprise that bimbo wife Mandy, another redditor happened to be

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Speaker 1: following the story and saw her name.

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Speaker 2: WHOA.

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Speaker 1: It could have easily been any other of the hundreds

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Speaker 1: and hundreds, maybe even thousands of girls who was ready

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Speaker 1: to post their pictures. She has a brief aside speaking

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Speaker 1: of Mandy. I have indeed talked to her. She was

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Speaker 1: actually quite helpful. Oh so you have talked to her?

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Speaker 1: What I thought you didn't talk to her she reached

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Speaker 1: out for a collab. Yep, she was actually quite helpful

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Speaker 1: in confirming something for me and as a person she

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Speaker 1: seems quite nice. Stop but guys, were really plans? What? Okay? Sorry?

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Speaker 2: Were you really talking to her?

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Speaker 1: Yes? But like on like oh I saw the story?

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, this was this was after this was not

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Speaker 1: like he was talking to her for free. Yeah. So

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Speaker 1: the Mandy is married evidently quite happily so and for

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Speaker 1: almost two decades. So you can have only pans and

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Speaker 1: a marriage. Riley wasn't true? Yeah, I get wrecked. I

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Speaker 1: think the handle bimbo wife Mandy should have given that away.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah. Uh. And frankly, while her husband must be

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Speaker 1: cool that she's way too much for a mere insurance

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Speaker 1: guy like me to handle. Seriously. So but that all

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Speaker 1: out of the way, onto the update, He's like, if

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Speaker 1: I can handle it, I would be all up into that,

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Speaker 1: but uh, trust me, I can't get suffocated.

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Speaker 3: His his back would break, his back would break, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: break motor my last boat.

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Speaker 1: So with that all the way onto the update last

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Speaker 1: I wrote in I ended up with assuming that my

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Speaker 1: brother had used my office computer to chat with Mandy,

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Speaker 1: but it was too late his time for me to

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Speaker 1: contact him. I am one of those guys that wants

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Speaker 1: a problem is put in front of him. I must

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Speaker 1: be active working on trying to solve it. This is

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Speaker 1: great for my career choice, but in situations like this,

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Speaker 1: all I was doing was driving myself insane. So I

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Speaker 1: decided to take a deep breath, leave everything until later,

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Speaker 1: and carry on with what I needed to do. First

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Speaker 1: thing up was attempting to contact every person from my

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Speaker 1: side that I had invited to the wedding because they

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Speaker 1: spent all this money on a wedding. Yeah, but he's

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Speaker 1: now canceling because he found out that his wife to

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Speaker 1: be was helping a cheat cheek. It's a lot, yeah,

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Speaker 1: accomplice to the crime. Every person from my side that

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Speaker 1: I invited to the wedding that I had not yet

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Speaker 1: informed about its cancelation, I'm gonna let know. As you

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Speaker 1: may recall, I had already informed my parents and had

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Speaker 1: them contact my relatives on the day I made up

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Speaker 1: my mind, but only myself and Sarah have the complete

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Speaker 1: guest list, so I needed to do the rest myself.

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Speaker 1: Out of respect for my friends, I decided to call

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Speaker 1: in set of texts. But this might have been a

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Speaker 1: bad idea, since every phone call typically resulted in a

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Speaker 1: rather lengthy explanation of why I was canceling the wedding.

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Speaker 1: It's gonna be hard to Yeah. You can't just be like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know the whole story. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think

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Speaker 1: what you do is you text. Everyone is like, hey,

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Speaker 1: if you want to talk more about it, like happy

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Speaker 1: to go over a call. I know I could have

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Speaker 1: given some other excuse, but I wanted people to know

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Speaker 1: that I wasn't being frivolous or just experiencing something inane

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Speaker 1: like cold feats. It was important not just for my

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Speaker 1: own reputation, but I think in order to show respect

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Speaker 1: to the people who had agreed to come on that

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Speaker 1: day to sport myself and Sarah as a couple. Because

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Speaker 1: of this, it wasn't until late into the evening when

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Speaker 1: I finally managed to contact everyone, which meant it was

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Speaker 1: now morning time in Australia. Ah huh. I knew what

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Speaker 1: I needed to do, but I wanted to make sure

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Speaker 1: that my ducks were all in a row. He's going

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Speaker 1: to confront his brother about the only fans spicy texting

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Speaker 1: to Mandy with the mams. Dude, take those ducks and

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Speaker 1: replaced that you with an eye Dix, You did it. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: He told me to congratulate his following commands, Oh bye,

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Speaker 1: like a good boy. Oh good. I knew what I

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Speaker 1: needed to do, but I wanted to make sure that

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Speaker 1: my ducks were all in a row. So I took

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Speaker 1: a breathe there and made a sandwich in the kitchen.

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Speaker 1: I noticed that Sarah wasn't home. I had no idea

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Speaker 1: when she left, and sat down to eat and think

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Speaker 1: about what to do with my brother's situation. Let's call

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Speaker 1: my brother Carl for the sake of shortness here now.

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Speaker 1: Carl and I have always been pretty close just bye.

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Speaker 1: Him being thirteen years older than me. He was this

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Speaker 1: sort of quasi parental figure in my life because by

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Speaker 1: the time I became capable of having long term memories,

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Speaker 1: he was already well on his way to becoming an adults.

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Speaker 1: He was always generous with his time played with his

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Speaker 1: little brother when other teens would probably have avoided such

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Speaker 1: an activity like the plague, and generally seemed mature and

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Speaker 1: wise to me growing up. Suffice to say, I respected

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Speaker 1: him greatly in the idea that he had been spicy

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Speaker 1: texting with a girl who wasn't his wife. Uh oh

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Speaker 1: in my house, it was something that I was still

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Speaker 1: coming to grips with and I need to decide what

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Speaker 1: to do really quick. Y'all, how do we feel about this?

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Speaker 1: The you know, messaging and only pans person is that?

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Speaker 3: Like?

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Speaker 1: Because like I feel like that's not quite like cheating,

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Speaker 1: but it's like a step above watching a video and

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Speaker 1: a step below like flirting with your coworker totally. I

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Speaker 1: we I think we had was it you mean Sophia.

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Speaker 2: That had a story like this Riley?

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Speaker 1: Maybe yeah, where it was like the old the old dad.

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Speaker 3: Was literally doing yeah what he was doing or maybe

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Speaker 3: you were there too, But yeah, I feel like we

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Speaker 3: kind of establish it basically is kind of this like

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Speaker 3: different class like I think we said, like cheating light

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Speaker 3: or something like that, where it's like, yeah, it is like,

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Speaker 3: but it's not the the emotional connection and other things

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Speaker 3: of like the the possibility of them all like leaving

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Speaker 3: them for you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's very low. It's very low. I feel like

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Speaker 1: it's it feels closer to Korn in my Yeah, in

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Speaker 1: my opinion, if if I'm thinking about like a part,

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Speaker 1: it's definitely like worse than that. I would be like,

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Speaker 1: I don't know how that makes me feel, but like

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Speaker 1: it doesn't feel it doesn't feel quite as bad. Like

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Speaker 1: it's definitely like an order of magnitude less bad than

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Speaker 1: actually messaging someone that they know.

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Speaker 2: The only thing. Messing someone on only pans is the

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Speaker 2: same as like sliding in someone's DMS and let's say,

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Speaker 2: whatever you said on only pans messages, you said the

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Speaker 2: exact same thing on Instagram message to another girl.

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Speaker 1: I think it's different because only pans you're paying for

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Speaker 1: that messaging, and I believe I've.

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Speaker 3: Never used these service. It is financially transaction, I believe.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if it's like a per per message

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Speaker 1: or something, or if it's like anyway you're paying for it.

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Speaker 1: But with like sliding into the DMS, there's like an

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Speaker 1: expectation that you potentially could meet up with them, which

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Speaker 1: is different. I think once there's antive that you could meet, yeah,

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Speaker 1: meet up or develop like a two way emotional connection.

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Speaker 1: I think that's with.

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Speaker 2: I guess it's like going to a strip club in

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Speaker 2: a way.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel some people do that as okay, but

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Speaker 3: I think.

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Speaker 1: It's I think it's all right, here we go, here

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Speaker 1: we go, Here we go Corn. Yeah, uh, spicy texting,

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Speaker 1: only pans model, strip club, spicy texting someone you actually

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Speaker 1: know and could meet up with. It's like, I guess

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Speaker 1: that's a degree, but this is worse. This is not

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Speaker 1: that bad. Yeah, what do you think you think? Which

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Speaker 1: which one was? First?

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Speaker 2: It was go from the bottom.

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Speaker 1: Up, all right, so Corn is like the least worse yep.

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Speaker 1: And then then it goes spicy texting and only pans model.

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Speaker 1: Then it goes going to a strip club. Then it

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Speaker 1: goes spicy like like sliding into someone's dms on Instagram.

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Speaker 1: Then it goes flirting with your coworker on text, and

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Speaker 1: then it goes meeting up with.

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Speaker 3: Like, honestly, I think it's also that was tempt us story.

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Speaker 3: Tempt is in the chat right oh way way yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 3: But I think it's kind of hard to because Harriet's

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Speaker 3: a Spaghetti's point. Earlier, Harriet was like, oh, that is cheating,

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Speaker 3: and in the context of two people defining that in

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Speaker 3: a relationship, if someone's like that is cheating to me, that's.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you know what I mean. So you've established

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Speaker 1: that boundary. I feel like it is.

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Speaker 3: Maybe let's say that there's a spectrum and it's in

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Speaker 3: between corn and all the way up to fold.

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Speaker 2: This lived within my relationship with my partner.

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Speaker 3: This is cheating, which is what I'm sure many yeah,

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Speaker 3: many people share that same for me.

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Speaker 1: I don't think I would consider cheating, but I would

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Speaker 1: be like I would get the ick. I'm like, you're

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Speaker 1: hand to message someone like just talk to chat GPT

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Speaker 1: or something like.

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Speaker 2: Well, I didn't try to talk dirty, try GPT and

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Speaker 2: it can only go too far.

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Speaker 1: That's true, that's true.

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Speaker 3: But you can my account, Yeah you can do.

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Speaker 1: But you can download like Lama or something. I'm just

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Speaker 1: more mad. I'm just it's another I'm just mad that like,

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Speaker 1: you're wasting money when you can get this stuff for free.

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Speaker 3: You're you're like the that could have been invested, that

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Speaker 3: could have been interested.

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Speaker 1: You put that into an index fund. You wait forty

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Speaker 1: years triples. We're tired or more than that, you're retired.

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Speaker 1: You're retired, you're retired. Done anyway, what do you guys think?

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Speaker 1: Let us know the comments below, but we got some more,

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Speaker 1: so I need to decide what to do talk to

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Speaker 1: him about it was obvious, but at this point, given

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Speaker 1: how much of a shambles my relationship with Sarah was,

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Speaker 1: I didn't know if I cared about having him confess

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Speaker 1: just for the sake of clearing my name. Was there

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Speaker 1: anything to salvage anyway? I needed too for my own

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Speaker 1: sake of propriety, at least gall at him about this

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Speaker 1: and convince him to stop. However, I wasn't sure if

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Speaker 1: I was going to rat him out or not to

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Speaker 1: my sister in law. Let's call her Karen, all right,

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Speaker 1: Carl and Karen. It is guys, great names. It all

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Speaker 1: depended on what he told me and if I believed

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Speaker 1: him or not. I finished my meal and lodged into

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Speaker 1: Facebook and a video called Carl. Now, Carl works mostly

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Speaker 1: from home as a remote office worker, since his field

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Speaker 1: is related to it and he's almost always available during

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Speaker 1: the day, and today was no exception. It didn't even

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Speaker 1: ring more than once or twice before he answered. We

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Speaker 1: greet each other, exchanged some pleasantries, and then I sort

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Speaker 1: of just dove into it and asked him if he

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Speaker 1: had been using my computer to spicy sleep chat women

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Speaker 1: on the internet when he was visiting me. Carl's face

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Speaker 1: burrows uh oh, and he leaned over out of the

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Speaker 1: frame of the camera. He was obviously closing his office door.

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Speaker 1: So not okay in the relationship probably, And you have

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Speaker 1: to stay in an Australian accent because I can't. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm so bad at Australian accents, even though I have

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Speaker 1: an Australian mother. Sports yeah, literally Australia. I had the

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Speaker 1: thick Australian accent when I came back from Australia in

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Speaker 1: like third grade, and all the girls were like ooh,

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Speaker 1: and then I lost it and then I were like, ugh,

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Speaker 1: that's tough. I know, dude. I would have been two

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Speaker 1: points hotter with an Australian accent. But he was obviously

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Speaker 1: closing his office door and says, yeah, Dad, why nice?

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Speaker 1: You crushed it, I said, he said to me. I

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Speaker 1: swore under my breath and explained to Carl how Sarah

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Speaker 1: had thought that his flirting was me since he used

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Speaker 1: my computer. I explained that I wasn't happy to take

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Speaker 1: the hit from him, and I asked him point blank

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Speaker 1: if Karen knew about this or not. He waffled for

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Speaker 1: a few seconds, stumbling over his words, and then he

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Speaker 1: was like oh, and then looked a bit sheepish and

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Speaker 1: said that no, no, no, no no. Karen did not

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Speaker 1: know they prefer if it was kept that way. He

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Speaker 1: went on to explain that their relationship had been pretty

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Speaker 1: rough since their youngest was born four years ago.

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Speaker 2: What I thought kids helped relationships.

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Speaker 1: I know, dude, if you're in a tough spot, pump

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Speaker 1: out a baby, instant fix. Babies are like band aids.

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Speaker 1: That's why they both begin with be. That's what I heard.

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Speaker 1: That's what I heard. You can't spell spell band aid

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Speaker 1: without baby.

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Speaker 2: That's true.

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Speaker 1: The first the first mainly in the bedroom departments. Carl

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Speaker 1: had always been a pretty private person, especially when it

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Speaker 1: came to into details, or at least he had always

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Speaker 1: been that way when talking to his much younger baby brother. However,

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Speaker 1: this time he let it all lay out. Things had

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Speaker 1: been bad. He'd been tired of getting rejected. Karen was

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Speaker 1: always tired no matter what he did or how much

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Speaker 1: he helped around the house. Eventually, this led to problems

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Speaker 1: on his side, some sort of performance anxiety. On a

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Speaker 1: few occasions where Karen would actually feel up for some

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Speaker 1: bedroom fund and things got worse from there. Basically said,

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Speaker 1: I no amount of shucks picked up flingers, folded dishes, washed,

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Speaker 1: or time spent minding the children that wouldn't get that

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Speaker 1: will get me light. It was just not happening. So

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Speaker 1: I started to spend time my office at night working working. Brother. No,

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Speaker 1: he even his finger quotes when saying this, I.

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Speaker 2: Mean he was. He was more in a way, he

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Speaker 2: was working something, chucking that corn, shucking the corn.

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Speaker 1: Brother. I don't know, man, I'm like, I don't know why.

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Speaker 1: You just just go look up some some washing machine. Uh,

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Speaker 1: people getting stuck like every normal person, and like the

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Speaker 1: normal people, and then you're fine, You're in the clear.

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Speaker 1: It's good to go. Unless unless that is.

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Speaker 2: But he wanted to feel something. He's not just the

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Speaker 2: heel of the churn the washing machine.

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Speaker 3: As you watch the next level, it's just the washing machine.

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Speaker 1: WHOA you put watching cycle, you watch a couple of

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Speaker 1: those videos, then you can just turn off the computer.

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Speaker 1: You have it in your mind. Yeah, and then you

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Speaker 1: put on the spin cycle. You sit on top of it,

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Speaker 1: get a little vibration.

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Speaker 2: But he's not a monster. He wants to feel something

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Speaker 2: with her. He wants to feel a connection.

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Speaker 3: Feel connection with your watching you want a connection speed mode.

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Speaker 1: Well, he even did the finger quote saying this evidently

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Speaker 1: is working at night. Turned into a pretty hardcore addiction

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Speaker 1: to only pans sites, which, given the relative privacy he

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Speaker 1: had in his office for legitimate work, spiraled out of

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Speaker 1: control pretty quickly. I asked him if he was still

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Speaker 1: doing it, and he swore up and down he wasn't.

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Speaker 1: I thought I believed him when he said it. He

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Speaker 1: seemed to be sincere, but I just had a nagging

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Speaker 1: feeling in the back of my skull that something was off.

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Speaker 1: Maybe it was because of all the deceit I had

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Speaker 1: encountered recently, but I was doubting my own brother, who

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Speaker 1: has really been a stand up guy to meet our

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Speaker 1: entire lives together. I really hated being in the situation now.

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Speaker 1: The problem I face was pretty complex here. First, if

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Speaker 1: I wanted to clear my name, then I would have

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Speaker 1: to get my brother to tell Sarah that it was

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Speaker 1: him all along. However, if he did that, then there

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00:18:54,119 --> 00:18:57,760
Speaker 1: was no guarantee that Sarah wouldn't spitefully inform Karen. I

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Speaker 1: personally thought it would be the best of Karen knew,

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Speaker 1: but at the same time, I didn't know if I

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00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:04,320
Speaker 1: felt comfortable potentially dropping a nuke on my brother's marriage

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00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:08,200
Speaker 1: over something he not only said he stopped, but is

347
00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:11,639
Speaker 1: in this sort of moral gray area. Also Peaky to

348
00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:14,120
Speaker 1: Sayer says it's a former spicy worker. That is true.

349
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:17,000
Speaker 1: I made most of my money just talking wo wow.

350
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:23,960
Speaker 1: Fact facts, dude, real facts. People be lonely. I didn't

351
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Speaker 1: have an answer right away as to what to do,

352
00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:29,960
Speaker 1: but I did urge him to tell his wife about

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Speaker 1: this and to get marriage counseling. He said that they

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Speaker 1: actually had been going for the last six months, and

355
00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:38,800
Speaker 1: while it was helpful, what had really helped him was

356
00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:46,040
Speaker 1: getting a prescription for some generic But I actually did

357
00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:51,399
Speaker 1: a spittake at that, neatly spraying my computer screen with water,

358
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Speaker 1: which I'm sure is what his brother was doing a

359
00:19:54,960 --> 00:20:04,159
Speaker 1: lot spray in that computer screen. Talk to her. He

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00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:07,480
Speaker 1: told me that they had been trying to make sure

361
00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:10,040
Speaker 1: they have intimate time at least a couple of times

362
00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:14,720
Speaker 1: a week, and that little blue pill I'd cured him

363
00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:17,520
Speaker 1: of his performance anxiety to the point where now they're

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00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:20,520
Speaker 1: both looking forward to spending time together after the kids

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00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:23,200
Speaker 1: went to bed. Okay, let's go. This is good.

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Speaker 3: This is a win, this is a this is good,

367
00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:31,080
Speaker 3: this is better. Oh we flag on the play A

368
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Speaker 3: good flag. That's that a true se could show you.

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Speaker 1: Thanks dog, all right, it does feel me. The general

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00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:41,920
Speaker 1: gist of this was something along the lines of II.

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00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:45,240
Speaker 1: This is actually going in the right direction right now.

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Speaker 1: Please don't screw this up for us? I Hi, I

373
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:58,480
Speaker 1: really wait, Paus should Ope screw this up? I should?

374
00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:01,600
Speaker 3: I reveal the truth? So I feel like brother Carl

375
00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:06,440
Speaker 3: should tell his wife for sure?

376
00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:09,520
Speaker 1: Yes, agreed, agreed, But that's not the question. We all

377
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:13,679
Speaker 1: agree that here brother Carl should come clean about the

378
00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:15,359
Speaker 1: pans he's been cooking on.

379
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:19,360
Speaker 2: But I see what you're doing. I see what you're doing.

380
00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:28,800
Speaker 1: Should Opee do something? Should Opee tell his brother's wife.

381
00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:30,960
Speaker 2: Because he's also this is what Sarah did for her

382
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:33,399
Speaker 2: sister too. If you think about it in a roundabout.

383
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:37,359
Speaker 1: Way, exactly exactly, it's karmic comic. You have an option

384
00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:40,240
Speaker 1: to tell the truth. Although this is not as bad

385
00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:45,879
Speaker 1: as what Sarah and Evelyn did. Is this something? Is

386
00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:48,959
Speaker 1: this something he helps come clean on? I think so,

387
00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:50,080
Speaker 1: and I think he does.

388
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:53,680
Speaker 3: Our original playbook all the way back from the first

389
00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:56,720
Speaker 3: episode on this, which was go to them and be like, look,

390
00:21:57,320 --> 00:22:01,600
Speaker 3: you really should tell Karen your your wife, Like, yeah,

391
00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:05,000
Speaker 3: you're reaching this new stage, but found the foundation of

392
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:08,760
Speaker 3: a relationship is honesty and working through these things, and

393
00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:13,920
Speaker 3: please tell her. If you don't do it, I'm gonna

394
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:16,840
Speaker 3: kind of have to force you to tell him.

395
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:20,480
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, I guess this feels.

396
00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:27,200
Speaker 3: Because that of safety, because because you don't know how

397
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:34,720
Speaker 3: the how Karen will react to it. He's not helping

398
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:37,440
Speaker 3: his brother talk to May. Oh god, he can introduce

399
00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:42,480
Speaker 3: him now, that's not mad. But anyways, yeah, because because

400
00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:45,240
Speaker 3: we don't know how Karen feels about it, you know

401
00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:48,120
Speaker 3: what I mean, Because if it's truly not if it's

402
00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:50,560
Speaker 3: truly not that big of a deal, then it's not

403
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:52,760
Speaker 3: that big of a deal. But if it is a

404
00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:55,000
Speaker 3: big deal, she would want to know about it, the

405
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:57,399
Speaker 3: same way someone's like, oh, if someone's been hooking up

406
00:22:57,400 --> 00:22:59,679
Speaker 3: with someone for six months, they would want to know.

407
00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:03,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, it is. I think I think you're right.

408
00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:08,840
Speaker 1: I think you should. It should come from Carl, But

409
00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:13,760
Speaker 1: if it doesn't, I think you should probably tell because

410
00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:16,840
Speaker 1: you know, especially if you have any kind of relationship

411
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:19,760
Speaker 1: with the wife too, which you do because you know

412
00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:24,439
Speaker 1: it's your brothers. Yeah, your brother's in law. Yeah, yeah,

413
00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:27,000
Speaker 1: you should tell, you should tell. I think so, you

414
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:30,760
Speaker 1: should tell. I think so. I really really don't want

415
00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:32,840
Speaker 1: to be in this position, not just for the sake

416
00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:35,560
Speaker 1: of Carl and Karen, but for my two nieces as well.

417
00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:38,159
Speaker 1: And if what Carl was telling me was the truth,

418
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:41,320
Speaker 1: I could be tossing a firebomb into the relationship that

419
00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:45,000
Speaker 1: was starting to mend. It was unpredictable what would happen.

420
00:23:45,119 --> 00:23:47,359
Speaker 1: So yeah, it made disappoint some people, but at the

421
00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:50,639
Speaker 1: time I felt the best option was to wait and see.

422
00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:53,399
Speaker 1: I was, after all, going to meet him in a

423
00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:55,840
Speaker 1: couple of weeks in the flesh, and once I got

424
00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:57,680
Speaker 1: him alone in a room and a few drinks in him,

425
00:23:57,960 --> 00:24:00,480
Speaker 1: I was going to definitely get to the bottom of it.

426
00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:02,320
Speaker 1: Seemed like the best course of action. I think you

427
00:24:02,359 --> 00:24:05,720
Speaker 1: don't have to say to talk to the wife like immediately,

428
00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:08,840
Speaker 1: but I think you should say, like, hey, I really

429
00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:11,560
Speaker 1: think you'd need to tell your wife, and like if

430
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:13,879
Speaker 1: you don't, I feel like a duty to let her know.

431
00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:15,800
Speaker 3: And you know what, you could even give him on

432
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:19,000
Speaker 3: the first conversation you could say, hey, tell your wife,

433
00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:22,040
Speaker 3: and then follow up yeah later too, see that maybe

434
00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:23,360
Speaker 3: he does it on his own, and then you don't

435
00:24:23,359 --> 00:24:25,280
Speaker 3: even need to say that, you know exactly.

436
00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:29,600
Speaker 1: Seemed like the best course of action anyway. That night,

437
00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:32,000
Speaker 1: I went to bed early. I didn't see Sarah until

438
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,480
Speaker 1: the next morning. She looked haggard and she had a

439
00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:37,840
Speaker 1: distinct lack of sleep. I asked her where she'd been,

440
00:24:37,920 --> 00:24:40,200
Speaker 1: mostly out of habit, after all, we had been together

441
00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:42,400
Speaker 1: for almost six years. She told me she had gone

442
00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:46,359
Speaker 1: down to the courthouse for Evelyn's arraignment to post bail.

443
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:48,760
Speaker 1: The courts here close at one pm on the weekends,

444
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,840
Speaker 1: which is why she disappeared so soon after I went

445
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:55,119
Speaker 1: into my office, and that afterwards she had driven her

446
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:57,240
Speaker 1: to her parents' house and spend the night there. She

447
00:24:57,320 --> 00:24:59,280
Speaker 1: made a point of telling me how horrible it was

448
00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:01,560
Speaker 1: to have to explain to her parents that I had

449
00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:03,800
Speaker 1: called out the wedding. I asked her if her parents

450
00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:06,920
Speaker 1: knew the reason why, and she barked, of course they do.

451
00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:11,680
Speaker 1: Cos I tried to remain calm, but by this point

452
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:14,400
Speaker 1: in this ordeal I was losing it. I've been back

453
00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:17,040
Speaker 1: at her. Are you going to move back there so

454
00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:20,800
Speaker 1: that they have both girls at home now. It was

455
00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:24,000
Speaker 1: childish and petty, but the fact that she bailed Evelyn

456
00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:27,280
Speaker 1: out of jail annoyed me to no end. You don't

457
00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:29,840
Speaker 1: need to be a butt about this, she said, to

458
00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:33,360
Speaker 1: which I said, and you don't need to be Evelyn's

459
00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:37,240
Speaker 1: f ing underling. I don't know I would bail my

460
00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:39,800
Speaker 1: sister out no matter what. I don't think like bailing

461
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:44,560
Speaker 1: and yeah, break that down, Like I was like, it

462
00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:46,480
Speaker 1: seems like, uh.

463
00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:48,320
Speaker 2: Because remember when she got into Jie Evelyn.

464
00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:52,639
Speaker 1: Yeah, because she attack op Buteah. Yeah, I mean you're

465
00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:56,320
Speaker 1: gonna it's your family, You're gonna. I'm I'm bailing Sophia

466
00:25:56,359 --> 00:25:57,280
Speaker 1: out no matter what.

467
00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:00,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, it has to be really a really really really

468
00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:02,159
Speaker 3: really crazy crime.

469
00:26:02,359 --> 00:26:05,840
Speaker 1: Yeah to not want to Yeah, I mean that that's

470
00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:08,480
Speaker 1: just what you do. Not like that what she did

471
00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:12,520
Speaker 1: ex isn't ft up. But it's like, but I said,

472
00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:14,439
Speaker 1: you just bail out. You just bail people out, that's

473
00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:14,880
Speaker 1: what you do.

474
00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:24,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, right, I think so, because you know, ultimately, as

475
00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:26,240
Speaker 3: long as you're going to be the person that holds them.

476
00:26:26,119 --> 00:26:28,760
Speaker 1: Accountable, yeah, I think you can still hold them accountable,

477
00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:31,080
Speaker 1: bail them out and it's like, you're still like gonna

478
00:26:31,119 --> 00:26:39,960
Speaker 1: face the law, but uh yeah. But I could see

479
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:43,000
Speaker 1: Sarah visibly flinch when I said that to her. It

480
00:26:43,119 --> 00:26:48,120
Speaker 1: obviously had struck a cord and the corners of her

481
00:26:48,119 --> 00:26:50,959
Speaker 1: eyes started to tear up, and I cooled my temper.

482
00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:53,960
Speaker 1: We just sort of stood there, miles apart in the

483
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:57,119
Speaker 1: living room of our house and didn't say anything for

484
00:26:57,160 --> 00:27:00,679
Speaker 1: a good solid minute and until Sarah decided to cantinue talking.

485
00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:04,640
Speaker 1: Our parents are going to be here at three. Actually

486
00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:08,000
Speaker 1: face palmed at this. I was about to go off

487
00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:10,240
Speaker 1: on her for not consulting me on this, but decided

488
00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:12,919
Speaker 1: that that was just my own ego. After all, I

489
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:14,800
Speaker 1: did need to sit down with them and work out

490
00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:17,520
Speaker 1: the details or on the wedding and whatever remaining deposit

491
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:20,560
Speaker 1: we had, and I needed at least once face to

492
00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:24,919
Speaker 1: face to explain to everyone why it wasn't happening. So fine,

493
00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:29,600
Speaker 1: let's do this and get it out of the way. Man, dude,

494
00:27:29,640 --> 00:27:33,520
Speaker 1: losing all that money for the wedding miss be crazy, But.

495
00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:38,000
Speaker 3: It's like, what would it look like if they, you know,

496
00:27:38,359 --> 00:27:41,200
Speaker 3: worked for all these years and then and then split.

497
00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:45,720
Speaker 3: There's just like, it's we've seen this case a thousand

498
00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:48,880
Speaker 3: times on the show. It's always better. It's like it's

499
00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:52,080
Speaker 3: like investing. They're like, what, what's the uh uh, you know,

500
00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:54,600
Speaker 3: the the best time to do it? Yesterday was the

501
00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:57,760
Speaker 3: second best time today, Like you are splitting up now

502
00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:01,280
Speaker 3: as Yeah, that will avoid for there as far as

503
00:28:01,359 --> 00:28:03,879
Speaker 3: just financial even further.

504
00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:05,800
Speaker 1: Like costs and stuff in the future.

505
00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:08,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, and they're not married yet, they would have to

506
00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:09,760
Speaker 3: pay for the divorce.

507
00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:16,399
Speaker 1: You know, dude, really quick. One of my friends, she

508
00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:19,879
Speaker 1: had a friend that got married right after med school,

509
00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:27,160
Speaker 1: literally the first week of like clinicals or something. Her

510
00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:31,959
Speaker 1: now husband like was like flirting with this girl, confessed,

511
00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:34,800
Speaker 1: and now they're like in seven hundred they broke up,

512
00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:36,680
Speaker 1: and now they're in seven hundred grand of debt from

513
00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:37,119
Speaker 1: the wedding.

514
00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:39,040
Speaker 2: Wait, wait, wait one more time.

515
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:46,200
Speaker 1: What seven hundred grand for doing wedding for what? I

516
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:53,480
Speaker 1: don't know, seven hundred grand? Is that not crazy? They're

517
00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:55,120
Speaker 1: also gonna be like they're like a doctor and a

518
00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:56,880
Speaker 1: surgeon and stuff, so I guess they're gonna make money.

519
00:28:56,880 --> 00:29:00,280
Speaker 1: But still, but I mean, I'm gonna go into debt

520
00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:04,640
Speaker 1: for a wedding. You make a lot of money? Yeah, Yeah,

521
00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:08,200
Speaker 1: that's wow. I mean it was either seven hundred grand

522
00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:12,360
Speaker 1: a debt or they spent seven hundred grand regardless. Crazy. Yeah,

523
00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:14,479
Speaker 1: I could understand spending that much in a money of

524
00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:16,200
Speaker 1: money on a wedding and be like, oh, I really

525
00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:18,280
Speaker 1: got it. I hope I can make it work. But

526
00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:20,720
Speaker 1: you know, some cost fallacy. As my cat's name is,

527
00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:22,040
Speaker 1: Karen says.

528
00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:24,960
Speaker 2: Okay, so canceling a wedding costs somewhere between ten to

529
00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:28,760
Speaker 2: thirty grand thousand dollars, and then getting divorced costs anywhere

530
00:29:28,840 --> 00:29:31,560
Speaker 2: between fifteen to thirty k plus.

531
00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:34,040
Speaker 1: Well, it depends on the marriage of the dying, right, yeah,

532
00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:34,560
Speaker 1: So it's like.

533
00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:37,200
Speaker 2: I said, average income, average average, okay.

534
00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:41,400
Speaker 3: Right, right, right, yeah, for the average person, right yeah,

535
00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:43,920
Speaker 3: canceling the wedding is cheaper than the doorvorce on average

536
00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:44,520
Speaker 3: basically or so.

537
00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:49,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, but fine, let's do this and get it

538
00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:51,920
Speaker 1: out of the way. I try to make myself busy,

539
00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:53,520
Speaker 1: but there isn't much you can do on a Sunday

540
00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:57,360
Speaker 1: except waste time, and time wasting isn't very enjoyable when

541
00:29:57,480 --> 00:30:00,400
Speaker 1: you know you are heading into the meat grinder in

542
00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:03,160
Speaker 1: just a few hours. Still, three pm came, and so

543
00:30:03,280 --> 00:30:06,000
Speaker 1: did our parents. We all sat down at the large

544
00:30:06,080 --> 00:30:08,680
Speaker 1: kitchen table that Sarah had bought just a month after

545
00:30:08,760 --> 00:30:12,360
Speaker 1: we closed on the house. It was secondhand from Facebook marketplace,

546
00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:14,880
Speaker 1: but she loved it because it was solid oak, with

547
00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:18,800
Speaker 1: a beautiful finish and capable of seating eight and just

548
00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:23,040
Speaker 1: as heavy as it sounds, ooh that heavy. She always

549
00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:26,400
Speaker 1: wanted to have big dinner parties with our family over,

550
00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:31,440
Speaker 1: just not like this. The next three hours were crueling.

551
00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:36,040
Speaker 1: No one was happy, nor should they be. I guess

552
00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:39,040
Speaker 1: the best support I could get came, unsurprisingly from my

553
00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:42,760
Speaker 1: own parents, but even that was tempered, especially essentially along

554
00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:45,160
Speaker 1: the lines of well, it's his decision to make, which

555
00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:48,120
Speaker 1: more or less means yeah, we think this is crazy too,

556
00:30:48,200 --> 00:30:52,200
Speaker 1: but we're still backing him. Honestly, that was fine for me.

557
00:30:53,960 --> 00:30:57,680
Speaker 1: I didn't need my parents to get to get the

558
00:30:57,720 --> 00:31:00,920
Speaker 1: stigma by association of canceling the wedding. I was fine

559
00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:04,240
Speaker 1: with owning that. Eventually we worked out a decent deal

560
00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:06,360
Speaker 1: in regard to the wedding. We would try to get

561
00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:09,160
Speaker 1: back whatever money we could split it back, however it

562
00:31:09,240 --> 00:31:12,400
Speaker 1: was contributed. Some things like the honeymoon were all paid

563
00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:16,080
Speaker 1: by me, or the flowers were all paid by Sarah's parents,

564
00:31:16,160 --> 00:31:21,280
Speaker 1: and then we would eat whatever losses there were. Communally okay. However,

565
00:31:21,320 --> 00:31:23,040
Speaker 1: when it came to the subject of the house, Sarah

566
00:31:23,120 --> 00:31:26,800
Speaker 1: vehemently objected to my idea of paying back her or

567
00:31:26,840 --> 00:31:29,640
Speaker 1: her parents for the deposit. Basically, she didn't intend to

568
00:31:29,680 --> 00:31:31,840
Speaker 1: move from the house.

569
00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:35,320
Speaker 3: Then they both known, WHOA, that's God's gonna get sticky.

570
00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:38,480
Speaker 2: You guys might as well have gotten married and sticky,

571
00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:42,240
Speaker 2: because this is what's happening gotta now.

572
00:31:42,280 --> 00:31:44,640
Speaker 1: As you might imagine, Sarah and I hadn't really talked

573
00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:47,880
Speaker 1: about us or us living together situation in too much detail.

574
00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:50,120
Speaker 1: The fact that I even brought up settling the house

575
00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:53,160
Speaker 1: equity seemed to shock her because the implication here is

576
00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:55,000
Speaker 1: that I expect her to move out of our home.

577
00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:58,360
Speaker 1: She threw a fit, and I don't blame her. I

578
00:31:58,400 --> 00:32:01,479
Speaker 1: should have settled our relationship status with her first before

579
00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:04,240
Speaker 1: trying to negotiate a payment plan with her parents. It

580
00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:07,160
Speaker 1: really tipped my hand to everyone about how I was

581
00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:10,280
Speaker 1: feeling about a relationship. And while I think our parents

582
00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:13,520
Speaker 1: expected it or at least understood, Sarah was beside herself.

583
00:32:13,880 --> 00:32:17,160
Speaker 1: She was absolutely not accepting of us breaking up over this,

584
00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:19,480
Speaker 1: and she made it clear, I'm not moving out of

585
00:32:19,480 --> 00:32:24,360
Speaker 1: my house and we are not breaking up, she declared bold.

586
00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:27,880
Speaker 1: Interesting that is that is a move in a breakup.

587
00:32:28,040 --> 00:32:32,520
Speaker 3: I mean, we're not breaking up, Like this ain't happening.

588
00:32:32,680 --> 00:32:34,760
Speaker 1: This recently happened to one of my friends who was

589
00:32:34,760 --> 00:32:37,719
Speaker 1: breaking up with his girlfriend, and she's like no, and

590
00:32:37,720 --> 00:32:42,400
Speaker 1: then they didn't break up. One would say it takes

591
00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:44,880
Speaker 1: two to tango, but yeah, she's like, no, we're not

592
00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:45,400
Speaker 1: bringing up.

593
00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:49,240
Speaker 2: Also, pol is OPI a jerk or not. I'm curious

594
00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:49,959
Speaker 2: to see what people think.

595
00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:55,440
Speaker 1: And that's pretty much how my Sunday night ended. After

596
00:32:55,480 --> 00:32:57,520
Speaker 1: our parents left, Sarah and I tried to talk it

597
00:32:57,560 --> 00:32:59,760
Speaker 1: out some more, but we kept running in circles around

598
00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:02,400
Speaker 1: each other, and I had to curb my natural inclination

599
00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:06,280
Speaker 1: to run her down until we got a resolution. Truthfully,

600
00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:08,440
Speaker 1: I was pretty damn tired as well, and I just

601
00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:10,480
Speaker 1: wanted to turn off my brain. Believe it or not.

602
00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:12,480
Speaker 1: We ended up sitting on the couch and watching a

603
00:33:12,520 --> 00:33:15,320
Speaker 1: movie together in silence until it was time to go

604
00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:17,800
Speaker 1: to sleep. We left it there with a well we'll

605
00:33:17,840 --> 00:33:21,320
Speaker 1: talk it more tomorrow and retreated to our separate rooms.

606
00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:24,520
Speaker 3: Wow, when you have something in your Netflix queue. You

607
00:33:24,560 --> 00:33:27,120
Speaker 3: both really wanted to finish, but yeah, like I want

608
00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:27,920
Speaker 3: to divorce you.

609
00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:33,440
Speaker 1: On Monday, I woke up to a large, handwritten letter

610
00:33:33,560 --> 00:33:36,160
Speaker 1: slid under the door from Sarah. I took a brief

611
00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:38,400
Speaker 1: look at the first few pages and decided I would

612
00:33:38,440 --> 00:33:41,640
Speaker 1: deal with it later. I went to work. When I left,

613
00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:43,520
Speaker 1: so Sarah was still in bed.

614
00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:45,120
Speaker 2: So I don't like that. I don't like that.

615
00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:47,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like you read it. How long does

616
00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:48,000
Speaker 1: it take to read a letter?

617
00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:50,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's like he's putting his work in front of

618
00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:54,320
Speaker 2: him and like keeping himself busy. Rather than like attacking

619
00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:55,200
Speaker 2: the problem, he's avoiding it.

620
00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:57,240
Speaker 1: Although I do feel like he's just over the relationship

621
00:33:57,240 --> 00:34:00,280
Speaker 1: at this point. Yeah, I like it, like he's just done. Yeah.

622
00:34:00,440 --> 00:34:07,719
Speaker 1: It's although on the other side, he hasn't has he clearly,

623
00:34:09,160 --> 00:34:12,640
Speaker 1: which is whack too. He's like confusing for her. If

624
00:34:12,680 --> 00:34:16,400
Speaker 1: your if your intention is to leave the relationship, say that, yes,

625
00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:19,640
Speaker 1: you know, don't get bandy around the bush. Yeah. When

626
00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:22,080
Speaker 1: I left, Sarah was still in bed. She must have

627
00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:25,240
Speaker 1: been uplate writing the letter. At the office. I scheduled

628
00:34:25,280 --> 00:34:27,600
Speaker 1: some meetings and started calling venues and vendors that were

629
00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:30,000
Speaker 1: on my list. The other ones were being handled by

630
00:34:30,040 --> 00:34:32,880
Speaker 1: Sarah or her parents. It was a mixed bag of results.

631
00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:35,080
Speaker 1: The catering people were adamant that I paid most of

632
00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:38,040
Speaker 1: their fees under the pretense that they had ordered most

633
00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:40,480
Speaker 1: of the food. I shot back at them over this,

634
00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:43,760
Speaker 1: like were they expecting me to eat a weak old steak?

635
00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:48,040
Speaker 1: But my appeal fell on deaf ears. I tried talking

636
00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:50,680
Speaker 1: to the woman who ran the catering business and explained

637
00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:53,120
Speaker 1: what happened, but that seemed to only firm up her

638
00:34:53,160 --> 00:34:55,520
Speaker 1: resolve to get as much money as possible out of me.

639
00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:57,960
Speaker 1: And versely, the DJ that I had hired for the

640
00:34:58,080 --> 00:35:01,200
Speaker 1: entertainment was incredibly kind and give us back almost all

641
00:35:01,239 --> 00:35:04,719
Speaker 1: the money. It wasn't much, However, Things went on like this,

642
00:35:04,840 --> 00:35:07,000
Speaker 1: and during the day, between making calls and doing work,

643
00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:10,600
Speaker 1: I read Sarah's letter. Now this was twenty pages, okay,

644
00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:14,200
Speaker 1: a written word, so I can understand, you know, not

645
00:35:14,239 --> 00:35:15,920
Speaker 1: reading it right there, or at least not finishing it

646
00:35:15,920 --> 00:35:17,640
Speaker 1: because he was on his way to work. Yeah, So

647
00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:20,919
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna summarize the gist of it was. Ever

648
00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:24,480
Speaker 1: since childhood, Sarah had been bullied by Evelyn, and in response,

649
00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:27,080
Speaker 1: Sarah's way of dealing with this was to essentially go

650
00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:31,680
Speaker 1: along with whatever Evelyn wants or wants to hear. She

651
00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:33,440
Speaker 1: went on to say that it had become sort of

652
00:35:33,480 --> 00:35:35,600
Speaker 1: a general way of operating in her life, that she

653
00:35:35,680 --> 00:35:37,839
Speaker 1: was just afraid to rock the boat to cause a

654
00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:41,160
Speaker 1: problem or sometimes even to voice an opinion. I reflected

655
00:35:41,200 --> 00:35:42,840
Speaker 1: on this because, truthfully, when I look back at our

656
00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:45,239
Speaker 1: relationship with a more critical eye, I kind of think

657
00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:47,839
Speaker 1: Sarah was a bit too perfect of a girlfriend. What

658
00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:49,759
Speaker 1: I mean by this is she never disagreed with me,

659
00:35:50,239 --> 00:35:52,680
Speaker 1: never picked her plans of her mind, or even really

660
00:35:52,719 --> 00:35:55,839
Speaker 1: advocated too strongly against anything I wanted to do. She

661
00:35:55,880 --> 00:35:58,600
Speaker 1: went out of her way to make herself appear useful,

662
00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:01,640
Speaker 1: and all around did more or less like a yes

663
00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:04,959
Speaker 1: woman in a relationship. I mean, we had never even

664
00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:07,560
Speaker 1: had so much of as a minor disagreement in six years,

665
00:36:07,719 --> 00:36:11,560
Speaker 1: let alone a full blown argument until now sounds great

666
00:36:11,560 --> 00:36:15,080
Speaker 1: from a relationship standpoint, until, of course, it's not. I

667
00:36:15,080 --> 00:36:18,400
Speaker 1: couldn't shake this feeling that Sarah had this deep seated

668
00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:21,400
Speaker 1: insecurity and need to make people happy. You know what

669
00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:24,920
Speaker 1: they call people pleasing behavior. When I start looking at

670
00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:26,600
Speaker 1: it this way, a lot of things make sense, and

671
00:36:26,600 --> 00:36:29,239
Speaker 1: I start to realize that despite being with Sarah for

672
00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:32,120
Speaker 1: six years, I don't actually know her that well. It's

673
00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:34,440
Speaker 1: like she's put up this image around her which is

674
00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:37,360
Speaker 1: really just a mirror, a reflection of whatever she thinks

675
00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:40,200
Speaker 1: people want to see. And in the case of a relationship,

676
00:36:40,440 --> 00:36:43,239
Speaker 1: she's more or less been acting in the role of

677
00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:47,840
Speaker 1: perfect girlfriend while never really letting me inside to see

678
00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:50,520
Speaker 1: who she is as the person. But also, like, you know,

679
00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:54,440
Speaker 1: I feel like, yes, maybe maybe someone can convince you

680
00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:59,279
Speaker 1: that like they are a reflection of you in you know,

681
00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:02,400
Speaker 1: a couple months relationship, Yeah, but a six year relationship

682
00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:06,480
Speaker 1: I have to question like Op's ability to actually be

683
00:37:06,680 --> 00:37:10,680
Speaker 1: curious about who someone is and what they like. Like,

684
00:37:10,719 --> 00:37:12,640
Speaker 1: I feel like some of that blame like should be

685
00:37:12,680 --> 00:37:16,479
Speaker 1: on Op. Yeah, But then you know, maybe that's maybe

686
00:37:16,520 --> 00:37:18,600
Speaker 1: that's complete. You know, I don't let feel I would

687
00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:20,080
Speaker 1: love to know your your thoughts, guys, But.

688
00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:22,600
Speaker 2: I think on top of that, I mean, you know,

689
00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:25,360
Speaker 2: you guys have been in partners. John, if your partner

690
00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:28,200
Speaker 2: is like dealing with something like another relationship, she talks

691
00:37:28,200 --> 00:37:30,799
Speaker 2: it through with you, right, Yeah, and then you guys

692
00:37:30,880 --> 00:37:32,719
Speaker 2: kind of like brainstorm about like how to kind of

693
00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:35,840
Speaker 2: like attack it and like go go about it and

694
00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:39,279
Speaker 2: give her the tools. Like I'm like you said, why

695
00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:42,920
Speaker 2: was he not curious enough to figure that out earlier?

696
00:37:44,120 --> 00:37:46,279
Speaker 1: I think? And again like obviously communicate.

697
00:37:46,320 --> 00:37:47,960
Speaker 3: You never know what's going on in someone's head, but

698
00:37:48,120 --> 00:37:51,720
Speaker 3: there comes a point within six years when you're probably

699
00:37:51,760 --> 00:37:56,839
Speaker 3: like something seems kind of off and you know, on

700
00:37:56,880 --> 00:37:59,719
Speaker 3: her end too, Like I while I understand it is

701
00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:02,680
Speaker 3: really helpful to get this context of like, uh, this

702
00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:06,960
Speaker 3: like extremely strong people pleasing trait that she has, there

703
00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:10,920
Speaker 3: is also simultaneously responsibility on her not to just like, oh,

704
00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:12,359
Speaker 3: if you're a friend to jump off a bridge, we're

705
00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:12,600
Speaker 3: going to.

706
00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:13,520
Speaker 1: Do it too, you know.

707
00:38:13,680 --> 00:38:16,040
Speaker 3: So I feel like it's more of a balance thing

708
00:38:16,080 --> 00:38:19,440
Speaker 3: of like, hey, here's like the errors on all sides,

709
00:38:19,719 --> 00:38:22,080
Speaker 3: you know what I mean, Like there was there's missteps

710
00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:22,880
Speaker 3: on both sides.

711
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:25,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I agree, I agree, Yeah, Yeah, I just

712
00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:28,520
Speaker 1: don't know how he didn't like seeing It's it's kind

713
00:38:28,520 --> 00:38:31,320
Speaker 1: of crazy. HELENEA. Bane says he is self obsessed and

714
00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:33,440
Speaker 1: was benefiting from her people pleasing. Yeah, we kind of

715
00:38:33,440 --> 00:38:34,200
Speaker 1: brought that up a little bit.

716
00:38:34,239 --> 00:38:36,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, he literally said himself, like but I was like

717
00:38:36,719 --> 00:38:39,160
Speaker 3: she was pleasing me, So I wasn't, you know, thrown

718
00:38:39,200 --> 00:38:39,960
Speaker 3: up any complaints.

719
00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:42,600
Speaker 1: And it's like, I feel like that is like a

720
00:38:42,640 --> 00:38:47,200
Speaker 1: boring relationship. I remember. I remember in one of my relationships,

721
00:38:47,239 --> 00:38:49,160
Speaker 1: I'm like, you always agree with me. There's no way

722
00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:52,120
Speaker 1: that's true because I say some messed up stuff. Just

723
00:38:52,239 --> 00:38:56,799
Speaker 1: does bro Like I know me, Like, I know you

724
00:38:56,800 --> 00:38:59,760
Speaker 1: should not always agree with me. Yeah.

725
00:38:59,880 --> 00:39:01,960
Speaker 2: I say things and disagree with myself.

726
00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:06,440
Speaker 1: Yeah. I literally have conversations in my head where I'm like, what,

727
00:39:06,520 --> 00:39:09,759
Speaker 1: that is the most accurate thing I've ever heard? Yeah,

728
00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:11,160
Speaker 1: and what was the response?

729
00:39:11,960 --> 00:39:12,080
Speaker 3: Uh?

730
00:39:13,680 --> 00:39:17,279
Speaker 1: Dude, she was so mean after she was like, oh, no,

731
00:39:17,360 --> 00:39:21,520
Speaker 1: you're right. I think she became like she was like

732
00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:24,839
Speaker 1: a bit more combative after that. But yeah, but then

733
00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:27,239
Speaker 1: she was like I feel like then it was like

734
00:39:28,080 --> 00:39:33,239
Speaker 1: too combative over correction, Oh wow wow. But no, she

735
00:39:33,400 --> 00:39:37,000
Speaker 1: was confrontational. No, but like she started yelling at me,

736
00:39:37,080 --> 00:39:39,440
Speaker 1: and I'm like, that's that. That's not like, what.

737
00:39:39,400 --> 00:39:41,239
Speaker 2: Do you want, John, I'm saying, what do you want?

738
00:39:41,480 --> 00:39:44,200
Speaker 1: I want someone who disagrees with me respectfully, with like

739
00:39:44,239 --> 00:39:46,160
Speaker 1: a good tone of voice, like in the same way

740
00:39:46,160 --> 00:39:48,480
Speaker 1: I would disagree with someone. I never like raise my voice.

741
00:39:48,719 --> 00:39:52,120
Speaker 2: Like the like the one time Christian like got into

742
00:39:52,160 --> 00:39:53,719
Speaker 2: it with you at dinner, And.

743
00:39:54,560 --> 00:39:57,920
Speaker 1: That's a perfect argument. That's a perfect argument, dude.

744
00:39:57,960 --> 00:39:59,799
Speaker 2: I think I know who should be with them.

745
00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:06,799
Speaker 1: What do you mean, I've already we lived together, but

746
00:40:07,200 --> 00:40:09,440
Speaker 1: I feel like that's I mean, on trips we sleep

747
00:40:09,520 --> 00:40:11,719
Speaker 1: in the same bed. It's true, I've seen it.

748
00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:13,799
Speaker 3: It's true.

749
00:40:14,280 --> 00:40:16,400
Speaker 1: I can't even say that what I saw in this

750
00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:21,520
Speaker 1: text messages is they're real Sarah, because it's almost certainly

751
00:40:21,640 --> 00:40:26,399
Speaker 1: just another reflection, oh this time of Evelyn and all

752
00:40:26,440 --> 00:40:29,520
Speaker 1: her warts and faults. This may sound weird, but it's

753
00:40:29,560 --> 00:40:32,520
Speaker 1: like we are in this unequal relationship, whereas maybe she

754
00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:34,879
Speaker 1: loves me for who I am and how I wear

755
00:40:34,920 --> 00:40:36,920
Speaker 1: my thoughts on my face and my heart and my sleeve.

756
00:40:37,239 --> 00:40:39,319
Speaker 1: But maybe I only love her for the mirror she's

757
00:40:39,400 --> 00:40:42,239
Speaker 1: holding up to my face. I don't know. If this

758
00:40:42,320 --> 00:40:45,560
Speaker 1: sounds too metaphysical for you, then I'm right there as well.

759
00:40:45,680 --> 00:40:47,680
Speaker 1: It's like a whisper and idea and I'm still trying

760
00:40:47,719 --> 00:40:50,560
Speaker 1: to catch in my fingertips. All I know is in

761
00:40:50,600 --> 00:40:52,800
Speaker 1: the last few days, I've probably learned more about Sarah

762
00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:55,040
Speaker 1: than I have in the last six years. And the

763
00:40:55,120 --> 00:40:57,040
Speaker 1: letter she wrote me. It was the first real view

764
00:40:57,080 --> 00:41:02,400
Speaker 1: into her childhood that I had glimpsed. Ruh, that's crazy.

765
00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:05,160
Speaker 1: In six years, you don't know anything about her childhood. Yeah,

766
00:41:05,200 --> 00:41:08,759
Speaker 1: that's crazy. Yeah, I mean, I guess.

767
00:41:10,080 --> 00:41:13,840
Speaker 3: Very small points for it seems like he is growing

768
00:41:13,880 --> 00:41:14,920
Speaker 3: some self awareness now.

769
00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:16,600
Speaker 1: At least he's growing. Yeah, that's true. That's true. At

770
00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:17,640
Speaker 1: least he's growing self awareness.

771
00:41:17,680 --> 00:41:19,800
Speaker 3: Zombiel Off twenty five says they need therapy. They a

772
00:41:19,880 --> 00:41:24,840
Speaker 3: thousand sent low key, especially Sarah because Sarah's there's a

773
00:41:24,840 --> 00:41:27,440
Speaker 3: lot in getting that voice up. Yeah.

774
00:41:27,560 --> 00:41:30,520
Speaker 1: Anyway, that night, we talked more about this, about her childhood,

775
00:41:30,560 --> 00:41:34,040
Speaker 1: about her behavior. The conclusion that we came to is

776
00:41:34,080 --> 00:41:36,239
Speaker 1: that she needs help. She's a grown woman who is

777
00:41:36,280 --> 00:41:38,920
Speaker 1: sadly stuck acting like a child, too scared to displease

778
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:43,920
Speaker 1: anyone lest she face her sister's wrath, or her parents's approval,

779
00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:48,160
Speaker 1: or the loss of love from the one she loves.

780
00:41:48,600 --> 00:41:50,680
Speaker 1: This is no way to have a relationship. And I

781
00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:53,120
Speaker 1: can say that I feel much more confident and assured

782
00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:55,279
Speaker 1: that my decision to call if the wedding was the

783
00:41:55,280 --> 00:41:58,879
Speaker 1: correct one. In fact, it could not be any more correct.

784
00:41:58,880 --> 00:42:01,040
Speaker 1: That night, after we talked, I went to bed with

785
00:42:01,160 --> 00:42:03,600
Speaker 1: much less angst than I had in the last few days.

786
00:42:04,080 --> 00:42:06,680
Speaker 1: So this basically brings me to our last update, and

787
00:42:06,719 --> 00:42:09,440
Speaker 1: once again it's a freaking novel. I won't wait two

788
00:42:09,480 --> 00:42:11,799
Speaker 1: to three days to do another one, otherwise I will

789
00:42:11,920 --> 00:42:14,840
Speaker 1: keep falling forever. For the people who have been wondering,

790
00:42:15,040 --> 00:42:17,960
Speaker 1: the entire situation with my brother is more or less resolved. Okay,

791
00:42:17,960 --> 00:42:19,799
Speaker 1: so this is an update like a couple of days later.

792
00:42:20,960 --> 00:42:23,160
Speaker 1: So the entire situation with my brother is more or

793
00:42:23,239 --> 00:42:25,600
Speaker 1: less resolved, and I'll get to that tomorrow. But the

794
00:42:25,640 --> 00:42:28,520
Speaker 1: situation with Sarah and I is still up in the air.

795
00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:32,200
Speaker 1: Bit there's a semblance of a plan going forward, and

796
00:42:32,239 --> 00:42:33,920
Speaker 1: I promise we'll get to as soon as I can.

797
00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:35,839
Speaker 1: But as you can imagine, there's a lot to write

798
00:42:35,920 --> 00:42:38,640
Speaker 1: and I can only do what I can. Thanks, And

799
00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:42,560
Speaker 1: there are some relevant comments before that update. So Northeast

800
00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:45,960
Speaker 1: Northwest says, I admire your forthrightness and your insight. It

801
00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:50,040
Speaker 1: seems to be becoming clear that you really didn't know

802
00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:52,720
Speaker 1: the woman you were going to marry, and after six years,

803
00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:55,239
Speaker 1: that's a lot to process. I guess the moral is

804
00:42:55,239 --> 00:42:59,080
Speaker 1: to never trust the perfect, because nothing ever is we're humans,

805
00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:02,120
Speaker 1: not machines. As for your brother, there are people who

806
00:43:02,200 --> 00:43:04,440
Speaker 1: are going to say that what you're doing is the

807
00:43:04,480 --> 00:43:07,200
Speaker 1: exact same thing that Sarah did with her sister, But

808
00:43:07,320 --> 00:43:10,000
Speaker 1: it isn't. You're waiting a few weeks, not six months.

809
00:43:10,280 --> 00:43:12,439
Speaker 1: You're not egging him on or bashing your sister alaw

810
00:43:12,480 --> 00:43:14,680
Speaker 1: the way Sarah did with her brother in law. And

811
00:43:14,760 --> 00:43:17,239
Speaker 1: for what it's worth, Sarah may have felt bullied by

812
00:43:17,239 --> 00:43:19,279
Speaker 1: her sister, but she didn't have to double down or

813
00:43:19,360 --> 00:43:22,319
Speaker 1: pile on the mocking of your brother in law. That

814
00:43:22,440 --> 00:43:25,440
Speaker 1: was optional. I'm pretty crappy ope, he responds, Yeah. I

815
00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:27,840
Speaker 1: think people have focused too much on what Evelyn was

816
00:43:27,880 --> 00:43:31,160
Speaker 1: doing and not my not what my primary cause for

817
00:43:31,239 --> 00:43:34,600
Speaker 1: concern here was. Sarah actively helped me conceal an affair

818
00:43:34,840 --> 00:43:37,520
Speaker 1: by lying to Marty's face and the mean girl's crap

819
00:43:37,560 --> 00:43:40,480
Speaker 1: I saw going on back and forth between them. Also,

820
00:43:40,480 --> 00:43:42,680
Speaker 1: there's a big difference between Evelyn and my brother Karl.

821
00:43:42,960 --> 00:43:46,600
Speaker 1: Evelyn was actively carrying on a physical affair. Carl engaged

822
00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:49,600
Speaker 1: in what I consider a much more morally gray area

823
00:43:49,680 --> 00:43:54,040
Speaker 1: of cyber spicy sleeping with some random bimbo, no offense

824
00:43:54,080 --> 00:43:58,239
Speaker 1: to the aforementioned self proclaimed bimbo, and he stopped it

825
00:43:58,640 --> 00:44:01,719
Speaker 1: and even had what I considered a better justification for

826
00:44:01,760 --> 00:44:03,960
Speaker 1: doing it. Like I said in a comment from an

827
00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:06,800
Speaker 1: earlier post, Evelyn's main argument was that she was bored

828
00:44:06,840 --> 00:44:10,400
Speaker 1: and she thought Jake was hot. That's it. He was

829
00:44:10,440 --> 00:44:13,239
Speaker 1: hot and readily available. Dude, look like a freaking little

830
00:44:13,239 --> 00:44:16,000
Speaker 1: hot pocket. Also, I do have proof that Carl stopped

831
00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:18,640
Speaker 1: at thanks to Mandy. Oh. The information she was able

832
00:44:18,680 --> 00:44:21,880
Speaker 1: to provide me with jives with what Carl told me.

833
00:44:22,160 --> 00:44:23,960
Speaker 1: But I'll get into that in the next post because

834
00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:25,680
Speaker 1: it's kind of complicated and I don't want to write

835
00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:28,640
Speaker 1: another ten paragraphs right now. She's gonna ask. That's good

836
00:44:28,680 --> 00:44:31,640
Speaker 1: to know, he confirmed. That's so fun. He confirmed. Wow.

837
00:44:31,760 --> 00:44:34,200
Speaker 1: Two random guys six seven five four says what you

838
00:44:34,280 --> 00:44:36,560
Speaker 1: decide as a gray area might not be something your

839
00:44:36,600 --> 00:44:38,719
Speaker 1: sister in law sees that way, And what should be

840
00:44:38,760 --> 00:44:40,680
Speaker 1: telling that she doesn't see it as a gray area

841
00:44:40,800 --> 00:44:42,960
Speaker 1: is the fact, even though they're in marriage counseling, he

842
00:44:43,120 --> 00:44:46,319
Speaker 1: hasn't told her about the cyber Spicy sleep And as

843
00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:49,840
Speaker 1: someone else said, you have evidence he stopped with Mandy,

844
00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:53,600
Speaker 1: But what about others? Lastly, if you don't tell your

845
00:44:53,600 --> 00:44:56,080
Speaker 1: sister in law, What did you tell Marty you don't

846
00:44:56,080 --> 00:44:59,719
Speaker 1: feel bad for dropping a nuke on his family, Opie says.

847
00:44:59,760 --> 00:45:01,920
Speaker 1: I think it's pretty obvious that I don't equate the

848
00:45:01,960 --> 00:45:04,719
Speaker 1: behavior here to be the same. This is absolutely something

849
00:45:04,719 --> 00:45:06,520
Speaker 1: that we can disagree with. But if I had read

850
00:45:06,520 --> 00:45:09,319
Speaker 1: the text exchanges between Evelyn and Sarah and they had

851
00:45:09,360 --> 00:45:12,080
Speaker 1: been different in many ways, I would have done totally

852
00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:15,200
Speaker 1: different things. For instance, if Sarah had not been encouraging

853
00:45:15,239 --> 00:45:18,560
Speaker 1: Evelyn and instead had been telling her to stop and

854
00:45:18,600 --> 00:45:21,000
Speaker 1: not going along with the line covering up well, as

855
00:45:21,040 --> 00:45:23,520
Speaker 1: I stated many times in previous comments and posts, I

856
00:45:23,560 --> 00:45:28,080
Speaker 1: wouldn't have called off the wedding. It was specifically her

857
00:45:28,160 --> 00:45:32,160
Speaker 1: actions here around how she handled the cheating situation, not

858
00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:35,200
Speaker 1: just that she knew about it, which bothered me, specifically

859
00:45:35,200 --> 00:45:37,600
Speaker 1: the lying to Marty. Yea. Again, I do think these

860
00:45:37,640 --> 00:45:42,080
Speaker 1: are like vastly different scenarios in terms of magnitude. They

861
00:45:42,280 --> 00:45:44,680
Speaker 1: contain elements of the same thing, but I think they

862
00:45:44,680 --> 00:45:49,600
Speaker 1: are vastly different intitude. Secondly, if the messages from Evelyn

863
00:45:49,800 --> 00:45:52,280
Speaker 1: were along the lines of wow, I really regret cheating

864
00:45:52,280 --> 00:45:54,160
Speaker 1: on Marty and I hope we can work on our marriage,

865
00:45:54,320 --> 00:45:57,239
Speaker 1: then to be perfectly blunt, I wouldn't have told Marty

866
00:45:57,320 --> 00:45:59,719
Speaker 1: all about it. I know a lot of people will

867
00:45:59,719 --> 00:46:01,960
Speaker 1: hate that, but my stance is that Marty is happy

868
00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:04,560
Speaker 1: and their daughter is happy, and if Evelyn was remorseful

869
00:46:04,560 --> 00:46:06,279
Speaker 1: and trying to be a good wife and mom, then

870
00:46:06,320 --> 00:46:08,640
Speaker 1: I would have been fine letting her try. I don't

871
00:46:08,680 --> 00:46:10,759
Speaker 1: know about that. I'm not saying that I would never

872
00:46:10,840 --> 00:46:13,240
Speaker 1: have told Marty because for certain and if I caught

873
00:46:13,280 --> 00:46:15,319
Speaker 1: on that Evelyn was going back on her word, I

874
00:46:15,360 --> 00:46:17,480
Speaker 1: would have felt like she had blown the chance. So

875
00:46:17,520 --> 00:46:20,080
Speaker 1: then he would have said something, but only if she

876
00:46:20,200 --> 00:46:25,120
Speaker 1: was like cheating twice. Yeah, I also don't agree.

877
00:46:25,160 --> 00:46:27,200
Speaker 3: Again, I think it's goes back to like, yeah, you

878
00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:30,799
Speaker 3: don't want to be over involved, but have them tells.

879
00:46:30,520 --> 00:46:33,880
Speaker 1: It, yeah the other person. Lastly, as I said at

880
00:46:33,880 --> 00:46:36,400
Speaker 1: the top of this comment, I don't put the actions

881
00:46:36,400 --> 00:46:39,239
Speaker 1: of Evelyn and Carl on the same level. I get

882
00:46:39,239 --> 00:46:41,680
Speaker 1: that this is a personal value, but that's mine. I

883
00:46:41,719 --> 00:46:43,640
Speaker 1: just don't see them the same. I don't even see

884
00:46:43,680 --> 00:46:46,239
Speaker 1: what Carl did as emotional cheating, since it's not like

885
00:46:46,280 --> 00:46:49,040
Speaker 1: he fell in love with Mandy. He just read some

886
00:46:49,160 --> 00:46:51,920
Speaker 1: paid for fiction that she tied through a chat message

887
00:46:52,200 --> 00:46:54,680
Speaker 1: and beat it to it. If anything, I find knowing

888
00:46:54,719 --> 00:46:57,759
Speaker 1: about this embarrassing for both of us. On top of that,

889
00:46:57,840 --> 00:47:01,640
Speaker 1: he's expressed remorse gave a semidient reason. Evelyn's reason was

890
00:47:01,680 --> 00:47:04,239
Speaker 1: that Jake was hot, so yeah, and told me he

891
00:47:04,320 --> 00:47:07,080
Speaker 1: had quit and that his relationship was getting better. I

892
00:47:07,080 --> 00:47:09,600
Speaker 1: guess I'm not a hardliner. I like to apply nuanced

893
00:47:09,600 --> 00:47:12,799
Speaker 1: to everything, particularly my interpersonal relationships, and I felt that

894
00:47:12,840 --> 00:47:16,520
Speaker 1: my actions in both cases were appropriate. I know this

895
00:47:16,560 --> 00:47:19,720
Speaker 1: will anger both the people that think that I shouldn't

896
00:47:19,719 --> 00:47:23,160
Speaker 1: have rated out Evelyn and the people who instantly want

897
00:47:23,200 --> 00:47:27,040
Speaker 1: to instantly want to dump, nuke, destroy anyone that they

898
00:47:27,040 --> 00:47:29,319
Speaker 1: think has cheated, even in Iota. But guys, I am

899
00:47:29,320 --> 00:47:32,440
Speaker 1: not you. That's all there is to it. By the way,

900
00:47:32,960 --> 00:47:36,279
Speaker 1: you can listen to full stories of this podcast. You

901
00:47:36,320 --> 00:47:39,800
Speaker 1: can just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts or your favorite

902
00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:42,799
Speaker 1: podcast app and search Okay story Time and you can

903
00:47:42,880 --> 00:47:45,399
Speaker 1: listen to this while doing other things. You just listen

904
00:47:45,440 --> 00:47:47,920
Speaker 1: to our voices all the time. Why wouldn't you, Why

905
00:47:47,920 --> 00:47:50,040
Speaker 1: wouldn't you live your life with us? Can do it

906
00:47:50,080 --> 00:47:51,560
Speaker 1: on the drive. You can do a garden, you can

907
00:47:51,600 --> 00:47:55,840
Speaker 1: do cleanon It'd be great, right, there's another relevant comment,

908
00:47:56,360 --> 00:48:01,840
Speaker 1: but let's discuss here really quick. Yeah, so what do

909
00:48:01,840 --> 00:48:06,880
Speaker 1: you think about Ope saying that messaging the only pans

910
00:48:06,960 --> 00:48:09,000
Speaker 1: person is not emotional cheating.

911
00:48:09,120 --> 00:48:14,160
Speaker 3: So here's the problem. He's defining what Karen should feel

912
00:48:14,160 --> 00:48:18,200
Speaker 3: for Karen right Like he's saying like, oh, I don't

913
00:48:18,200 --> 00:48:21,680
Speaker 3: believe it's that big of a deal. Therefore it's not

914
00:48:21,840 --> 00:48:24,480
Speaker 3: that big of a deal for Karen to know, whereas

915
00:48:24,520 --> 00:48:27,640
Speaker 3: I think it should be. Like all right, everybody has

916
00:48:27,680 --> 00:48:30,960
Speaker 3: like their own different lines. We talked about it, you know,

917
00:48:31,120 --> 00:48:33,920
Speaker 3: just just a few minutes ago, and it's like, I

918
00:48:33,960 --> 00:48:37,160
Speaker 3: feel like Karen should know so she can decide to

919
00:48:37,400 --> 00:48:41,280
Speaker 3: do with the information what she will. Maybe she doesn't

920
00:48:41,320 --> 00:48:44,440
Speaker 3: really care and feels the same way as Ope, but

921
00:48:45,520 --> 00:48:49,279
Speaker 3: maybe she doesn't. And I feel like op is like

922
00:48:49,360 --> 00:48:50,879
Speaker 3: the same way. How he's like, oh, I don't want

923
00:48:50,880 --> 00:48:53,640
Speaker 3: to get involved and whatnot. Well, actually he is getting involved,

924
00:48:53,680 --> 00:48:56,680
Speaker 3: in my opinion, by making that decision for her and

925
00:48:56,719 --> 00:48:58,480
Speaker 3: withholding that information.

926
00:48:58,640 --> 00:49:01,560
Speaker 1: Where do you think that line is? So like, let

927
00:49:01,560 --> 00:49:05,480
Speaker 1: you know, like let's use like maybe like a like

928
00:49:06,160 --> 00:49:10,080
Speaker 1: a worse like or a little little, uh diluted example,

929
00:49:10,120 --> 00:49:16,040
Speaker 1: like let's say you're with your brother and they say

930
00:49:16,239 --> 00:49:20,839
Speaker 1: and like they call their wife, you know, like a

931
00:49:20,880 --> 00:49:23,680
Speaker 1: mean name, they call her a witch or something, you know,

932
00:49:25,480 --> 00:49:27,080
Speaker 1: and you don't know if she would be okay with that,

933
00:49:27,280 --> 00:49:28,320
Speaker 1: Like do you go say something?

934
00:49:29,600 --> 00:49:31,759
Speaker 3: I think, like when does it become a problem? You know,

935
00:49:32,440 --> 00:49:40,600
Speaker 3: I think it's it's a good question when it's closer

936
00:49:40,600 --> 00:49:43,120
Speaker 3: and closer and more and more evident and clear that

937
00:49:43,239 --> 00:49:47,400
Speaker 3: it could potentially disrupt and end the relationship. So now

938
00:49:47,560 --> 00:49:50,000
Speaker 3: where we are saying, okay, this is a more gray area,

939
00:49:50,320 --> 00:49:53,720
Speaker 3: but it's way closer to the line of potentially Karen

940
00:49:53,760 --> 00:49:57,480
Speaker 3: wanting the relation and relationship than him calling her a witch.

941
00:49:57,320 --> 00:50:00,000
Speaker 1: One time in a in a in a conversation.

942
00:49:59,680 --> 00:50:02,560
Speaker 3: Right, So I feel like the closer and that is

943
00:50:02,600 --> 00:50:03,960
Speaker 3: a spectrum at the end of the day.

944
00:50:04,080 --> 00:50:09,319
Speaker 1: Like again, some people would probably with it and.

945
00:50:08,960 --> 00:50:10,960
Speaker 3: Well, and some people like if if someone called you

946
00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:12,880
Speaker 3: a which one time behind your back, they might end

947
00:50:13,120 --> 00:50:14,719
Speaker 3: you know, everyone has like a different line.

948
00:50:14,920 --> 00:50:16,759
Speaker 1: You feel like I would kind of want to know

949
00:50:16,800 --> 00:50:19,560
Speaker 1: if my partner was calling me like I would actually

950
00:50:20,080 --> 00:50:22,560
Speaker 1: I would that would that would actually like if that

951
00:50:22,719 --> 00:50:26,359
Speaker 1: was if someone was talking about me like like like that,

952
00:50:26,520 --> 00:50:28,120
Speaker 1: I would probably be like I don't know if that's

953
00:50:28,120 --> 00:50:30,000
Speaker 1: a relationship I want to be in exactly right, and

954
00:50:30,239 --> 00:50:33,239
Speaker 1: that yeah I probably would, so yeah.

955
00:50:33,440 --> 00:50:38,880
Speaker 3: Again, I think like the closer it gets to evidently, like,

956
00:50:38,920 --> 00:50:42,800
Speaker 3: for instance, what's super clear someone has a second family

957
00:50:43,040 --> 00:50:45,359
Speaker 3: and kids and his hiding old. All right, well that's like, yeah,

958
00:50:45,560 --> 00:50:48,319
Speaker 3: dang near crystal clear. Anyone almost anyone would break up

959
00:50:48,360 --> 00:50:48,520
Speaker 3: for that.

960
00:50:48,600 --> 00:50:48,759
Speaker 1: Right.

961
00:50:49,600 --> 00:50:51,560
Speaker 3: The closer you get to that line, I feel like,

962
00:50:51,719 --> 00:50:57,239
Speaker 3: is the uh, the the closer you decide to get

963
00:50:57,239 --> 00:50:57,759
Speaker 3: the person to.

964
00:50:57,680 --> 00:51:00,919
Speaker 1: Tell your friend calls his girlfriend a witch? Yeah? Right,

965
00:51:01,360 --> 00:51:05,279
Speaker 1: do you go to the girlfriend I don't know, chat

966
00:51:05,320 --> 00:51:09,400
Speaker 1: with you? Right? And you know, I think the first

967
00:51:09,400 --> 00:51:12,799
Speaker 1: time I be like that, that's whack. You shouldn't you should?

968
00:51:13,719 --> 00:51:15,840
Speaker 1: What do you? And then the second time you're like,

969
00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:22,879
Speaker 1: if you say that again, I'm telling if you put

970
00:51:22,960 --> 00:51:26,319
Speaker 1: it like that, that's terrible. Yeah, I don't know, Like

971
00:51:26,600 --> 00:51:27,279
Speaker 1: again it is.

972
00:51:27,320 --> 00:51:30,120
Speaker 3: That's where I think it's the That's why I feel

973
00:51:30,160 --> 00:51:32,399
Speaker 3: like that rule generally kind of holds up because it's

974
00:51:32,440 --> 00:51:38,000
Speaker 3: like again, like it it uh, the the only pans

975
00:51:38,080 --> 00:51:41,399
Speaker 3: like cheating is I would say most of us game

976
00:51:41,480 --> 00:51:44,239
Speaker 3: agree is probably closer to that line of like, oh,

977
00:51:44,239 --> 00:51:46,840
Speaker 3: break the relationship than calling someone a witch.

978
00:51:46,680 --> 00:51:51,440
Speaker 1: Or a bad name once or twice. Right, agreed, Yeah,

979
00:51:51,440 --> 00:51:53,600
Speaker 1: I hope you guys like my hypotheticals there, but I

980
00:51:53,640 --> 00:51:55,000
Speaker 1: would love to know what you guys would do. But

981
00:51:55,120 --> 00:51:56,920
Speaker 1: we do have a little bit more to this story.

982
00:51:57,080 --> 00:51:59,000
Speaker 1: So two random guy says, with all you said, you

983
00:51:59,040 --> 00:52:01,200
Speaker 1: still have an acknowledge of fact that your system of

984
00:52:01,239 --> 00:52:05,320
Speaker 1: law might see what your brother has done as cheating.

985
00:52:06,360 --> 00:52:08,360
Speaker 1: Just because you see nothing wrong with it doesn't apply

986
00:52:08,440 --> 00:52:10,440
Speaker 1: to your system of law. You're a hypocrite and have

987
00:52:10,520 --> 00:52:12,440
Speaker 1: given us the wrong impression. You lead us to believe

988
00:52:12,480 --> 00:52:15,200
Speaker 1: that you're ending your relationship was due to Sarah bad

989
00:52:15,280 --> 00:52:17,759
Speaker 1: mouthing Marty and covering up the cheating. You imply the

990
00:52:17,840 --> 00:52:22,400
Speaker 1: cheating it was six months and and you needed to

991
00:52:22,440 --> 00:52:25,960
Speaker 1: tell Marty. Op responds, Because it's immaterial. I can only

992
00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:28,120
Speaker 1: make decisions based on what I think and no, and

993
00:52:28,160 --> 00:52:31,719
Speaker 1: I didn't know what Karen had thought about this. It's speculative.

994
00:52:31,920 --> 00:52:34,880
Speaker 1: It's a poor line of reasoning for making an important decision.

995
00:52:34,960 --> 00:52:36,880
Speaker 1: So I chose simply to kick the can down the

996
00:52:36,960 --> 00:52:39,560
Speaker 1: road until I had more information. This is exactly what

997
00:52:39,600 --> 00:52:42,200
Speaker 1: I do in my day job. I don't make conclusions

998
00:52:42,239 --> 00:52:44,640
Speaker 1: based on speculations. Because they don't hold up in court.

999
00:52:44,800 --> 00:52:46,560
Speaker 1: That is a I hate that answer.

1000
00:52:46,760 --> 00:52:49,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, that like he's like, uh, He's like, I didn't

1001
00:52:49,800 --> 00:52:50,879
Speaker 3: do it because they don't know what.

1002
00:52:50,840 --> 00:52:54,719
Speaker 1: She thinks exactly. You don't know what she thinks. Yeah right,

1003
00:52:54,760 --> 00:52:56,800
Speaker 1: I don't know either. That last one definitely gave me

1004
00:52:56,840 --> 00:53:00,759
Speaker 1: a big vibe, big bad vibe, big bad vibe. That's

1005
00:53:00,760 --> 00:53:01,760
Speaker 1: where that story ends.

1006
00:53:03,080 --> 00:53:08,719
Speaker 2: Yep, I do have something to say, do it?

1007
00:53:08,920 --> 00:53:10,600
Speaker 1: Can I? Can? I say it? Say it?

1008
00:53:12,000 --> 00:53:16,600
Speaker 2: There is more? Yeah, I just looked at the guy's profile.

1009
00:53:18,239 --> 00:53:21,160
Speaker 2: We did not check his things, but we have one

1010
00:53:21,200 --> 00:53:23,080
Speaker 2: more like part. We could do maybe two.

1011
00:53:23,520 --> 00:53:26,120
Speaker 1: Wow. Well, if you guys want another part, let us

1012
00:53:26,120 --> 00:53:26,879
Speaker 1: know in the comments below.

1013
00:53:27,280 --> 00:53:30,720
Speaker 3: Another one comment below light it up maybe if you want.

1014
00:53:30,560 --> 00:53:34,120
Speaker 1: A part four. But I think that's where this episode ends.

1015
00:53:34,320 --> 00:53:37,040
Speaker 1: If you love us, make sure to subscribe We love

1016
00:53:37,040 --> 00:53:40,960
Speaker 1: you and see you tomorrow. This is an episode from

1017
00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:42,279
Speaker 1: Deep within the Archives.

1018
00:53:42,280 --> 00:53:48,240
Speaker 3: Time for okop rewash. Karen demands I removed my knee

1019
00:53:48,239 --> 00:53:51,600
Speaker 3: brace so her daughter can obliterate me in martial arts.

1020
00:53:51,920 --> 00:53:56,960
Speaker 1: Okayop, this is okayop. I'm diabled honor and I'm John

1021
00:53:57,000 --> 00:54:09,200
Speaker 1: Fry and we tell all funny stories on it strong finish. Yeah,

1022
00:54:10,000 --> 00:54:12,040
Speaker 1: I was quite ready for to bring the heat, like

1023
00:54:12,080 --> 00:54:15,520
Speaker 1: there you brought it for. We always bring the heat

1024
00:54:15,680 --> 00:54:19,359
Speaker 1: because we're like pizza buyers in the kitchen cooking up

1025
00:54:19,400 --> 00:54:21,239
Speaker 1: a good slice up Peppa ROADI.

1026
00:54:24,280 --> 00:54:29,440
Speaker 3: Speaking of hot Somali uh salami. I'm wondering this has

1027
00:54:29,480 --> 00:54:32,880
Speaker 3: nothing to do with hot salami, but I am curious. Like, so,

1028
00:54:33,000 --> 00:54:34,800
Speaker 3: you know how like growing up in like middle school

1029
00:54:34,880 --> 00:54:37,759
Speaker 3: high school, typically you have like an extracurricular, like you

1030
00:54:37,760 --> 00:54:39,120
Speaker 3: play soccer, like music.

1031
00:54:39,400 --> 00:54:42,920
Speaker 1: I did, what was your piano? I did like fifteen

1032
00:54:43,000 --> 00:54:48,520
Speaker 1: years of classical piano and then and also swimming. I

1033
00:54:48,560 --> 00:54:51,399
Speaker 1: basically like my parents are like six, You're like, all right,

1034
00:54:51,840 --> 00:54:54,759
Speaker 1: no more fun. Swimming and piano take out the rest

1035
00:54:54,760 --> 00:54:56,799
Speaker 1: of your time. And so that's what I did. Oh

1036
00:54:56,840 --> 00:54:58,640
Speaker 1: so they just kind of like assigned it to you. Yeah,

1037
00:54:58,640 --> 00:55:00,360
Speaker 1: they signed it to me. I mean, like the let

1038
00:55:00,400 --> 00:55:02,680
Speaker 1: me choose. I guess like I did gymnastics for a

1039
00:55:02,680 --> 00:55:04,759
Speaker 1: little bit. I kind of wish I was into, like

1040
00:55:05,000 --> 00:55:08,600
Speaker 1: I wish instead of instead of like swim lessons, it

1041
00:55:08,719 --> 00:55:11,120
Speaker 1: was like surf lessons. I would have been sick right right,

1042
00:55:12,040 --> 00:55:17,200
Speaker 1: And instead of piano, maybe it was like jazz jam piano,

1043
00:55:17,280 --> 00:55:20,319
Speaker 1: and like I would have wanted to like jam, you know,

1044
00:55:20,760 --> 00:55:23,319
Speaker 1: like like I can't. I can play for a lease

1045
00:55:23,600 --> 00:55:25,120
Speaker 1: or not for least I could play like Bach and

1046
00:55:25,160 --> 00:55:28,920
Speaker 1: Mozart and Beethel and like all like really complex pieces

1047
00:55:29,960 --> 00:55:32,520
Speaker 1: for at least. Isn't that hard? I can't like jam

1048
00:55:32,560 --> 00:55:33,240
Speaker 1: with my bros.

1049
00:55:33,640 --> 00:55:35,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, and so I wish, which, by the way, we

1050
00:55:35,640 --> 00:55:37,440
Speaker 3: need a jam session for the two of us is

1051
00:55:37,520 --> 00:55:38,120
Speaker 3: very overdue.

1052
00:55:38,200 --> 00:55:40,919
Speaker 1: That is true. That is true, John John is an

1053
00:55:41,000 --> 00:55:43,520
Speaker 1: excellent percussionist.

1054
00:55:43,719 --> 00:55:46,600
Speaker 3: Yes, that was my like high school from from like

1055
00:55:46,800 --> 00:55:51,279
Speaker 3: eleven to senior year. That was my like my thing,

1056
00:55:51,440 --> 00:55:54,480
Speaker 3: my extracurricular thing. You were in band too, I was, yeah,

1057
00:55:54,560 --> 00:55:56,920
Speaker 3: like the whole way band captain at the end, like

1058
00:55:56,960 --> 00:56:00,720
Speaker 3: the whole the whole band. What band captain? Baby band captain?

1059
00:56:00,760 --> 00:56:01,560
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, that's right.

1060
00:56:01,920 --> 00:56:06,600
Speaker 1: Can we call you captain band? Yes? Captain bands bands

1061
00:56:06,600 --> 00:56:08,800
Speaker 1: because we making stacks out, stacks on stack.

1062
00:56:08,560 --> 00:56:11,879
Speaker 3: Support us of patron Yeah, bands that make her dance

1063
00:56:11,920 --> 00:56:14,279
Speaker 3: came out when I was in high school, so por

1064
00:56:14,480 --> 00:56:17,640
Speaker 3: very well. We actually played like the most lit songs ever. Yeah,

1065
00:56:17,719 --> 00:56:22,359
Speaker 3: we played We played black and yellow, We played uh long,

1066
00:56:22,640 --> 00:56:25,000
Speaker 3: there's a song long heel, red bottoms which is like

1067
00:56:25,160 --> 00:56:28,480
Speaker 3: not high school or appropriate, but it was fine.

1068
00:56:28,480 --> 00:56:29,960
Speaker 1: But it's band appropriate.

1069
00:56:30,120 --> 00:56:34,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, baby, and the heat that's right, John bang in

1070
00:56:34,719 --> 00:56:39,160
Speaker 3: every drum comes his way. Oh no, drum I if

1071
00:56:39,160 --> 00:56:43,880
Speaker 3: you catch my throat. But I have a story today

1072
00:56:43,920 --> 00:56:47,640
Speaker 3: about someone who also was a banging on not drums,

1073
00:56:47,680 --> 00:56:52,920
Speaker 3: but uh on people, oh like in a sexy way,

1074
00:56:53,000 --> 00:56:58,600
Speaker 3: or in like assault way, in an angry way, in

1075
00:56:58,640 --> 00:57:00,319
Speaker 3: a skillful way, and a skillful away.

1076
00:57:00,400 --> 00:57:02,960
Speaker 1: All right, let's let's get into it. I'm not confused,

1077
00:57:03,000 --> 00:57:03,839
Speaker 1: but I'm ready.

1078
00:57:04,920 --> 00:57:08,160
Speaker 3: Karen demands I removed my knee brace so her daughter

1079
00:57:08,239 --> 00:57:10,239
Speaker 3: can obliterate me in martial.

1080
00:57:10,000 --> 00:57:14,560
Speaker 1: Arts, like like sweep the leg. You know, I'm just

1081
00:57:14,640 --> 00:57:17,919
Speaker 1: I'm just imagining this karate kid move like you don't.

1082
00:57:18,240 --> 00:57:20,640
Speaker 1: He needs the knee brace to compete.

1083
00:57:20,200 --> 00:57:23,080
Speaker 3: Exactly Like but this, this, Karen is like, what is

1084
00:57:23,200 --> 00:57:24,160
Speaker 3: all the ways.

1085
00:57:23,880 --> 00:57:28,600
Speaker 1: That my child can win and you can receive pain? Yeah? No,

1086
00:57:28,680 --> 00:57:31,240
Speaker 1: this is ridiculous. He needs the knee brace, he does.

1087
00:57:31,520 --> 00:57:32,800
Speaker 1: Or they think it might be a woman.

1088
00:57:32,920 --> 00:57:37,480
Speaker 3: Oh she I think we'll say they okay, they gender

1089
00:57:37,520 --> 00:57:43,000
Speaker 3: neutral gender neutral pronouns, yeah, or we could use kitty

1090
00:57:43,040 --> 00:57:45,040
Speaker 3: kitty self.

1091
00:57:45,160 --> 00:57:48,400
Speaker 1: See no, those are some neo pronouns for you. Oh wow,

1092
00:57:48,400 --> 00:57:52,720
Speaker 1: we're like the next next age bro, where like people

1093
00:57:52,760 --> 00:57:56,520
Speaker 1: are saying like this is the only male podcast that

1094
00:57:56,600 --> 00:57:59,520
Speaker 1: I like, Oh yeah, that's right, we're woke.

1095
00:58:00,120 --> 00:58:03,840
Speaker 3: The explosion of the like alpha male podcast has been

1096
00:58:03,920 --> 00:58:06,360
Speaker 3: like really weird and like and have you seen it.

1097
00:58:06,600 --> 00:58:08,440
Speaker 3: I've seen some of them, Like I've seen like some

1098
00:58:08,520 --> 00:58:11,040
Speaker 3: clips where it's like if I cry in form of woman,

1099
00:58:11,560 --> 00:58:15,000
Speaker 3: the relationship is over. So I never cry because women

1100
00:58:15,120 --> 00:58:19,120
Speaker 3: need strong men, yeah, or or it's like I don't know,

1101
00:58:19,160 --> 00:58:24,080
Speaker 3: it's just like a bunch of like insane points about like.

1102
00:58:22,320 --> 00:58:27,280
Speaker 1: Uh like really trying to be alpha man. Men that

1103
00:58:27,320 --> 00:58:30,440
Speaker 1: are that just start broken inside? Yeah, it's like they

1104
00:58:30,880 --> 00:58:34,080
Speaker 1: need some love and affection, bro. Honestly one hundred, Like

1105
00:58:34,200 --> 00:58:36,760
Speaker 1: there's kind of a reason why they are putting the

1106
00:58:37,200 --> 00:58:42,360
Speaker 1: alpha title on themselves, so like ferociously, Yeah, it's because

1107
00:58:42,520 --> 00:58:45,440
Speaker 1: you know, inside it's on Alpha Male, it's a little

1108
00:58:45,840 --> 00:58:48,960
Speaker 1: little cub trying out for affection. A cubs that needs

1109
00:58:48,960 --> 00:58:51,520
Speaker 1: a hug, Just cubs that need a hug. Yeah, that's yeah.

1110
00:58:51,560 --> 00:58:55,120
Speaker 1: That is a response to Alpha male podcasts. Our new

1111
00:58:55,240 --> 00:58:57,640
Speaker 1: Alpha Male podcast is cubs that need hugs.

1112
00:58:57,760 --> 00:59:04,440
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, we are high value cubs that deserve hugs. Yeah,

1113
00:59:04,480 --> 00:59:06,520
Speaker 3: I know this is controversial, but I don't care.

1114
00:59:06,640 --> 00:59:09,720
Speaker 1: I'm gonna break it in. What we're about men showing

1115
00:59:09,880 --> 00:59:13,920
Speaker 1: men affectionate public. Yeah, that's right. That's how controversial we are.

1116
00:59:14,360 --> 00:59:17,800
Speaker 1: That's all right. That's right. Suck it Alpha Male Podcast.

1117
00:59:17,920 --> 00:59:21,600
Speaker 1: That's right as hug and you're gonna freaking love it.

1118
00:59:21,800 --> 00:59:25,680
Speaker 1: That's right. Emotional vulnerability, and you're gonna be like, oh

1119
00:59:25,720 --> 00:59:27,120
Speaker 1: my god, this is the best thing ever.

1120
00:59:27,160 --> 00:59:32,480
Speaker 3: You're welcome van, Gotta love it, gotta love it. All right,

1121
00:59:32,600 --> 00:59:34,920
Speaker 3: let's dive in. Shall let's do it. I am a

1122
00:59:34,960 --> 00:59:37,960
Speaker 3: martial artist and I've been training in my specific discipline

1123
00:59:38,000 --> 00:59:40,680
Speaker 3: for about twelve years now, moving.

1124
00:59:40,520 --> 00:59:44,040
Speaker 1: Twelve twelve years. Man's man's like I only know like

1125
00:59:44,080 --> 00:59:48,360
Speaker 1: a couple of martial artists, Jackie Chan, Bruce Lee.

1126
00:59:50,240 --> 00:59:52,960
Speaker 3: In my region, we have a group that organizes events

1127
00:59:53,000 --> 00:59:54,280
Speaker 3: between dojo's and cities.

1128
00:59:54,320 --> 00:59:56,880
Speaker 1: Connor McGregor. That's another one, Connor McGregor. That's true.

1129
00:59:56,880 --> 00:59:57,080
Speaker 3: He is.

1130
00:59:57,120 --> 01:00:00,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're right, mixed martial arts. It's like oursel arts,

1131
01:00:00,600 --> 01:00:01,760
Speaker 1: but you put it in a blender.

1132
01:00:03,920 --> 01:00:08,280
Speaker 3: The most popular, the most popular events are tournaments. Before COVID,

1133
01:00:08,320 --> 01:00:11,560
Speaker 3: we used to have almost monthly tournaments in different cities.

1134
01:00:12,200 --> 01:00:14,520
Speaker 3: They weren't mandatory, but a lot of people still came

1135
01:00:14,680 --> 01:00:17,560
Speaker 3: because almost everyone is a good sport.

1136
01:00:17,840 --> 01:00:19,800
Speaker 1: No. Wow, that's great. I mean it's cool that you

1137
01:00:19,840 --> 01:00:21,760
Speaker 1: have like a community, the community. Yeah exactly.

1138
01:00:22,200 --> 01:00:26,720
Speaker 3: But notice how I said almost everyone, oh wow wow,

1139
01:00:26,840 --> 01:00:31,280
Speaker 3: or someone saying he wasn't even reading that guy. Since

1140
01:00:31,360 --> 01:00:34,000
Speaker 3: tournaments have started up again with a lot of restrictions

1141
01:00:34,000 --> 01:00:37,680
Speaker 3: for health reasons, my dojo has been pretty happy. Those

1142
01:00:37,680 --> 01:00:39,760
Speaker 3: of us who can go take time to commute.

1143
01:00:39,920 --> 01:00:42,040
Speaker 1: I don't know why. I love like I love the

1144
01:00:42,120 --> 01:00:45,880
Speaker 1: term dojo. It is kind of a It just sounds like,

1145
01:00:46,520 --> 01:00:49,880
Speaker 1: you know, baba ganush. Is it like a food? It's yeah,

1146
01:00:49,920 --> 01:00:50,440
Speaker 1: it's a food.

1147
01:00:51,040 --> 01:00:53,640
Speaker 3: It's like it's like a really creamy I forget what

1148
01:00:53,680 --> 01:00:58,600
Speaker 3: like the core substances, but it's like a Mediterranean Eastern dish.

1149
01:00:58,600 --> 01:01:00,840
Speaker 3: But the name babagansh is just off the tongue. It

1150
01:01:00,920 --> 01:01:03,320
Speaker 3: just rolls off the tongue. I start calling my room

1151
01:01:03,360 --> 01:01:06,320
Speaker 3: the dojo the dojo. Yeah, yeah, welcome to the dojo.

1152
01:01:06,440 --> 01:01:10,080
Speaker 1: Maybe that can be our future studio name. Yeah, the

1153
01:01:10,120 --> 01:01:12,360
Speaker 1: dojo yo. No. Yeah, So like we don't say, like, hey,

1154
01:01:12,400 --> 01:01:14,280
Speaker 1: do you want to come over to the studio. We say, hey,

1155
01:01:14,280 --> 01:01:17,680
Speaker 1: do you want to go to the dojojo? Yeah, dude,

1156
01:01:17,680 --> 01:01:20,200
Speaker 1: I actually love that. We should totally call it the

1157
01:01:20,240 --> 01:01:23,240
Speaker 1: okof dojo. Yeah. If we're a dojo, we're gonna like

1158
01:01:23,280 --> 01:01:24,520
Speaker 1: put like mats on the floor.

1159
01:01:24,600 --> 01:01:26,720
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, we literally we're gonna just be sitting on

1160
01:01:26,760 --> 01:01:30,040
Speaker 3: the ground drinking green tea and reading stories.

1161
01:01:30,360 --> 01:01:31,480
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Yeah.

1162
01:01:31,520 --> 01:01:33,960
Speaker 3: The last tournament was one day ago and we were

1163
01:01:33,960 --> 01:01:36,080
Speaker 3: in a city that was about a two hour drive

1164
01:01:36,120 --> 01:01:39,560
Speaker 3: away from my hometown. Everything was going smoothly until I

1165
01:01:39,640 --> 01:01:41,560
Speaker 3: went in to change room to get into my gi

1166
01:01:42,040 --> 01:01:51,280
Speaker 3: my uniform. There, whizz whiz, guys, we know nothing like

1167
01:01:51,640 --> 01:01:53,720
Speaker 3: this is what you get. This is what you get

1168
01:01:53,720 --> 01:01:58,360
Speaker 3: when you hire people reading Greta stories. Yeah, you paid

1169
01:01:58,440 --> 01:02:00,840
Speaker 3: for this, that's right with your eyeball. There was a

1170
01:02:00,880 --> 01:02:03,440
Speaker 3: mother there with her daughter who looked around my age.

1171
01:02:03,560 --> 01:02:05,680
Speaker 3: Why the mom was there in the changing room was

1172
01:02:05,840 --> 01:02:07,960
Speaker 3: beyond me, but I didn't pay him any mind and

1173
01:02:08,040 --> 01:02:10,320
Speaker 3: went into a corner to change. I had about half

1174
01:02:10,360 --> 01:02:13,360
Speaker 3: my uniform on during the drive, but I still needed

1175
01:02:13,360 --> 01:02:16,120
Speaker 3: to put the top on and my knee brace. When

1176
01:02:16,120 --> 01:02:17,560
Speaker 3: I was rolling out my pants to put on the

1177
01:02:17,640 --> 01:02:21,080
Speaker 3: knee brace. The mother was giving me this nasty look.

1178
01:02:21,200 --> 01:02:27,880
Speaker 1: Oh, some staker. She quickly pulled the daughter out of

1179
01:02:27,880 --> 01:02:28,480
Speaker 1: the locker room.

1180
01:02:29,160 --> 01:02:31,880
Speaker 3: Just before I put on my belt, my senior instructor

1181
01:02:31,920 --> 01:02:34,560
Speaker 3: told me that I needed to see the head black

1182
01:02:34,600 --> 01:02:35,760
Speaker 3: Belts immediately.

1183
01:02:36,360 --> 01:02:38,320
Speaker 1: Oh no, you never want to go to the head

1184
01:02:38,320 --> 01:02:40,960
Speaker 1: of the black belt immediately. That's all good. The black

1185
01:02:40,960 --> 01:02:44,960
Speaker 1: belts have been called the Counsel of black Belts has

1186
01:02:45,000 --> 01:02:48,200
Speaker 1: been thesemble and is going to dole out justice to you.

1187
01:02:48,800 --> 01:02:53,200
Speaker 3: Me, is everything all right? Head black belt? This woman

1188
01:02:53,320 --> 01:02:55,880
Speaker 3: and her daughter say that you have a legal gear?

1189
01:02:56,600 --> 01:03:00,560
Speaker 1: Legal gear? Could we please see it? Illegal? Gee? Er,

1190
01:03:03,480 --> 01:03:11,600
Speaker 1: don't do jokes? Do jokes me jokes. Welcome, that's what

1191
01:03:11,640 --> 01:03:14,640
Speaker 1: we call her dojo, the do the doj jokes jojo.

1192
01:03:15,160 --> 01:03:19,280
Speaker 1: Oh man, we're quickly going downhill, guys. Me baffled.

1193
01:03:19,680 --> 01:03:22,360
Speaker 3: Of course, I left my gear back in the change room, though,

1194
01:03:22,400 --> 01:03:23,400
Speaker 3: I'll have to run and grab it.

1195
01:03:23,400 --> 01:03:27,440
Speaker 1: If you want. Karen, Oh no, you don't. Uh.

1196
01:03:27,560 --> 01:03:29,680
Speaker 3: At this point, everyone in the small group turned to

1197
01:03:29,720 --> 01:03:33,560
Speaker 3: her aghast. She put the gear on while my daughter

1198
01:03:33,600 --> 01:03:34,360
Speaker 3: and I were in.

1199
01:03:34,400 --> 01:03:35,960
Speaker 1: The changing room.

1200
01:03:36,080 --> 01:03:42,600
Speaker 3: All no, so, my instructor, are you sure it was op?

1201
01:03:43,120 --> 01:03:46,280
Speaker 3: I've been training with her for years. She brought back

1202
01:03:46,360 --> 01:03:48,960
Speaker 3: all her gear at my dojo, and we don't have

1203
01:03:49,000 --> 01:03:53,000
Speaker 3: anything illegal. The entitled daughter, she was putting the gear

1204
01:03:53,040 --> 01:03:57,000
Speaker 3: on her knee. I saw her me, wait, do you

1205
01:03:57,120 --> 01:03:58,760
Speaker 3: mean my knee brace?

1206
01:03:59,480 --> 01:04:00,720
Speaker 1: What's wrong the knee brace?

1207
01:04:01,240 --> 01:04:05,680
Speaker 3: My instructor, she needs that head black belt I was

1208
01:04:05,840 --> 01:04:10,520
Speaker 3: notified about that knee brace. It is perfectly legal for

1209
01:04:10,680 --> 01:04:11,840
Speaker 3: Opie to wear it.

1210
01:04:12,120 --> 01:04:15,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, BROPI needs to brace's knee or her knee needs

1211
01:04:15,760 --> 01:04:19,320
Speaker 1: to brace their knee because, uh, you don't want to

1212
01:04:19,320 --> 01:04:21,200
Speaker 1: get like a dislocated knee or something on that.

1213
01:04:21,200 --> 01:04:24,880
Speaker 3: That's right, The head black belt says she needs it

1214
01:04:24,920 --> 01:04:27,160
Speaker 3: if she wants to compete safely.

1215
01:04:28,280 --> 01:04:30,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, Karen, No.

1216
01:04:31,160 --> 01:04:35,840
Speaker 3: It's illegal. My daughter has to fight someone with reinforced

1217
01:04:35,920 --> 01:04:38,800
Speaker 3: knee How is that fair?

1218
01:04:38,960 --> 01:04:45,880
Speaker 1: All reinforced knees, superbionic knees. The seven million dollar woman.

1219
01:04:46,200 --> 01:04:50,840
Speaker 3: Head black belts, well, why is your daughter aiming for

1220
01:04:50,920 --> 01:04:51,520
Speaker 3: the knees?

1221
01:04:51,760 --> 01:04:53,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, you shouldn't even be naming for the knees.

1222
01:04:54,560 --> 01:04:58,520
Speaker 3: My instructor not to mention OPI and your daughter won't

1223
01:04:58,600 --> 01:05:03,600
Speaker 3: spar with each other. They're in completely different belt rank divisions. Yeah,

1224
01:05:03,760 --> 01:05:06,480
Speaker 3: like op is actually good entitled daughter.

1225
01:05:06,960 --> 01:05:09,280
Speaker 1: Why does she even need it? She can work just

1226
01:05:09,480 --> 01:05:13,400
Speaker 1: fine because she's about the fight. She hasn't brace those knees.

1227
01:05:13,800 --> 01:05:16,680
Speaker 1: Real reinforcing a knee.

1228
01:05:16,720 --> 01:05:19,480
Speaker 3: This isn't concrete, guys, like she needs it to not

1229
01:05:19,520 --> 01:05:22,919
Speaker 3: have any issues me. If you have to know, I've

1230
01:05:23,040 --> 01:05:26,520
Speaker 3: had knee problems for years, just ask anyone in my dojo.

1231
01:05:26,880 --> 01:05:28,920
Speaker 3: I got into an accident a while back and it

1232
01:05:29,120 --> 01:05:31,800
Speaker 3: just made things worse. I did a physical and now

1233
01:05:31,880 --> 01:05:35,040
Speaker 3: I can walk around, but my knee could give out

1234
01:05:35,080 --> 01:05:36,000
Speaker 3: if I'm not careful.

1235
01:05:36,760 --> 01:05:42,120
Speaker 1: Karen. Still, my daughter is competing for the grand champion now,

1236
01:05:42,520 --> 01:05:46,440
Speaker 1: but not against Ope. So what does it matter? My instructor?

1237
01:05:46,920 --> 01:05:50,680
Speaker 3: How your daughter's an orange belt, she's not allowed to

1238
01:05:50,720 --> 01:05:55,840
Speaker 3: compete in a black belt division. Direct o, kay, Karen,

1239
01:05:56,320 --> 01:06:03,360
Speaker 3: But I had black belt. That is enough, OPI is competing,

1240
01:06:03,760 --> 01:06:07,040
Speaker 3: But if you don't stop pressing the issue, your daughter

1241
01:06:07,400 --> 01:06:08,680
Speaker 3: will not compete.

1242
01:06:08,920 --> 01:06:12,800
Speaker 1: I love how like that is enough? It's like like

1243
01:06:13,280 --> 01:06:15,680
Speaker 1: it's like Gandalf or like you shoul.

1244
01:06:18,720 --> 01:06:21,640
Speaker 3: Head black belt turns to me, go and get the

1245
01:06:21,640 --> 01:06:25,520
Speaker 3: rest of your gie on good luck in competing.

1246
01:06:26,280 --> 01:06:30,880
Speaker 1: Very wise words. Wow, wow, so it was solved. I

1247
01:06:30,880 --> 01:06:32,280
Speaker 1: guess like she ended up competing.

1248
01:06:32,840 --> 01:06:36,200
Speaker 3: Well, there's a little little bit more so me. Thank

1249
01:06:36,240 --> 01:06:39,640
Speaker 3: you had mister had black belt the girl. The girl

1250
01:06:39,720 --> 01:06:44,680
Speaker 3: got to compete and lost, while I did the exact

1251
01:06:44,680 --> 01:06:45,120
Speaker 3: same thing.

1252
01:06:45,400 --> 01:06:48,720
Speaker 1: I also lost. Still, the person who won the gold

1253
01:06:48,800 --> 01:06:49,280
Speaker 1: deserved it.

1254
01:06:49,840 --> 01:06:52,560
Speaker 3: Anyway, This isn't as bad as the many stories I've

1255
01:06:52,600 --> 01:06:55,320
Speaker 3: read on this subreddit, but I thought I would share

1256
01:06:55,440 --> 01:06:56,960
Speaker 3: this woman's audacity.

1257
01:06:57,280 --> 01:07:00,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, the audacity for someone be like your protecting

1258
01:07:00,600 --> 01:07:05,280
Speaker 1: your knees. How dare you the audacity of her caucaciity?

1259
01:07:06,440 --> 01:07:08,960
Speaker 1: But you know what, you should always have the audacity

1260
01:07:09,000 --> 01:07:09,200
Speaker 1: to do.

1261
01:07:09,440 --> 01:07:14,560
Speaker 3: Ooh, subscribe to okayoy, subscribe on you the follow us

1262
01:07:14,560 --> 01:07:16,160
Speaker 3: on Spotify and dick talk if you want to be

1263
01:07:16,160 --> 01:07:16,880
Speaker 3: a real one.

1264
01:07:17,160 --> 01:07:19,720
Speaker 1: Joined the Patriarch because you can doc those on Discord.

1265
01:07:19,920 --> 01:07:23,640
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, chat with us and join Aeriel Casey, Zephorius,

1266
01:07:23,680 --> 01:07:26,560
Speaker 3: d v Nae, Muhammed, Amanda will Connor, Desiree, Keegan Simmons,

1267
01:07:26,600 --> 01:07:30,800
Speaker 3: and Kathy see us up. Bye, am I the a hole.

1268
01:07:30,960 --> 01:07:33,440
Speaker 3: Someone told my ex's fiance that she's still.

1269
01:07:33,280 --> 01:07:36,240
Speaker 1: In love with me. That's a messy, Yes, it is. So.

1270
01:07:36,440 --> 01:07:38,800
Speaker 3: One of my best friends, Carla, is getting married soon.

1271
01:07:38,840 --> 01:07:41,640
Speaker 3: It's only meant to be a small backyard type of wedding.

1272
01:07:41,840 --> 01:07:43,919
Speaker 3: But we've been planning it for a few months now,

1273
01:07:43,960 --> 01:07:46,840
Speaker 3: and originally it was supposed to be on my property.

1274
01:07:46,880 --> 01:07:49,200
Speaker 3: They wanted to use my property because it's private, it

1275
01:07:49,200 --> 01:07:52,640
Speaker 3: has lots of open space for the reception, a nice view,

1276
01:07:52,880 --> 01:07:55,080
Speaker 3: and the house could be used to get ready and whatnot.

1277
01:07:55,280 --> 01:07:59,040
Speaker 3: Of course I said yes, and she and her friance Rick,

1278
01:07:59,120 --> 01:08:02,400
Speaker 3: were very happy. But this the thing is, Carla and

1279
01:08:02,440 --> 01:08:09,040
Speaker 3: I do have a history, a history, a history amexial history.

1280
01:08:09,200 --> 01:08:13,720
Speaker 3: It's frisky, a frisky one, hot, steamy, like a bowl

1281
01:08:13,840 --> 01:08:17,439
Speaker 3: of fresh ramen. So we went on and off in college,

1282
01:08:17,560 --> 01:08:21,479
Speaker 3: but eventually decided to stay friends. Then I met my wife,

1283
01:08:21,560 --> 01:08:24,679
Speaker 3: we got married, Carla met Rick, and now here they are.

1284
01:08:24,800 --> 01:08:27,400
Speaker 3: So they've kind of moved on and agreed, Hey, well they.

1285
01:08:27,400 --> 01:08:29,040
Speaker 1: Have their own relationships, have our own.

1286
01:08:28,920 --> 01:08:32,160
Speaker 3: Relationships, will stay in our lives as friends, right cool. Now,

1287
01:08:32,200 --> 01:08:34,840
Speaker 3: My wife knows that I went out with Carla back

1288
01:08:34,880 --> 01:08:37,800
Speaker 3: in college, and she didn't care. Carla still went to

1289
01:08:37,920 --> 01:08:41,960
Speaker 3: our wedding and everything. I never knew if Rick, her fiance,

1290
01:08:42,360 --> 01:08:45,280
Speaker 3: was told or not. It's not my relationship, therefore not

1291
01:08:45,439 --> 01:08:46,839
Speaker 3: my business to say anything.

1292
01:08:47,040 --> 01:08:48,360
Speaker 1: So I never did. Fair.

1293
01:08:48,479 --> 01:08:52,160
Speaker 3: The thing is Rick found out recently and not in

1294
01:08:52,200 --> 01:08:55,280
Speaker 3: the best of ways. Oh God, who doesn't tell Like

1295
01:08:55,360 --> 01:08:57,760
Speaker 3: I feel like that's something that you tell there. Yeah,

1296
01:08:57,800 --> 01:09:00,920
Speaker 3: that is if they're involved in your life like that, Like, hey, yeah,

1297
01:09:01,200 --> 01:09:03,000
Speaker 3: just so you know, like we have a history.

1298
01:09:03,120 --> 01:09:07,160
Speaker 1: Like my ex girlfriend Sophie, who I dated for like

1299
01:09:07,200 --> 01:09:09,400
Speaker 1: a year, is coming back to LA for a few

1300
01:09:09,439 --> 01:09:11,320
Speaker 1: days and wants to get dinner with all the friends,

1301
01:09:11,640 --> 01:09:14,479
Speaker 1: and like, immediately when I knew that, and like, like

1302
01:09:14,600 --> 01:09:16,400
Speaker 1: Arianna knew a little bit, but I'm like, heay, like

1303
01:09:16,439 --> 01:09:19,000
Speaker 1: Sophie's coming back, yeah, and then I have to tell

1304
01:09:19,040 --> 01:09:21,519
Speaker 1: Sophie about Arianna, and then I knew about each other.

1305
01:09:21,720 --> 01:09:24,559
Speaker 1: You do it first contact, first contact numberfore.

1306
01:09:24,160 --> 01:09:25,800
Speaker 3: Exactly, like if you just want to get it out

1307
01:09:25,840 --> 01:09:26,880
Speaker 3: of the way, one hundred percent.

1308
01:09:26,960 --> 01:09:29,360
Speaker 1: Like, and it's awkward and it's weird, but it's the

1309
01:09:29,400 --> 01:09:30,000
Speaker 1: right thing to do.

1310
01:09:30,080 --> 01:09:32,160
Speaker 3: It's the right thing to do, and doing it upfront

1311
01:09:32,240 --> 01:09:34,599
Speaker 3: is best for everyone. It makes it less awkward and weird.

1312
01:09:35,360 --> 01:09:37,600
Speaker 1: The earlier you do it, the more you wait, the

1313
01:09:37,680 --> 01:09:39,479
Speaker 1: more the awkwardness. Exactly.

1314
01:09:39,560 --> 01:09:43,200
Speaker 3: No, he says, I'm not sure how exactly he found out,

1315
01:09:43,320 --> 01:09:46,920
Speaker 3: but from what I heard from friends. One mutual friend

1316
01:09:46,960 --> 01:09:49,719
Speaker 3: told him no idea why that we used to date.

1317
01:09:50,120 --> 01:09:53,559
Speaker 3: And not only that, but apparently Carla said a couple

1318
01:09:53,680 --> 01:09:56,120
Speaker 3: years ago that she was still in love with me

1319
01:09:56,800 --> 01:09:59,519
Speaker 3: while she had started dating Rick, her now fiance.

1320
01:10:00,080 --> 01:10:05,519
Speaker 1: What yeah, oh that Rick. I feel bad for Rick man.

1321
01:10:05,600 --> 01:10:10,320
Speaker 1: I know Rick kind of here going, you know, everyone

1322
01:10:10,360 --> 01:10:11,400
Speaker 1: wants op over here.

1323
01:10:11,479 --> 01:10:14,519
Speaker 3: I don't have actual confirmation that that is exactly what

1324
01:10:14,600 --> 01:10:17,160
Speaker 3: he was told, but he thinks that's what went down.

1325
01:10:17,360 --> 01:10:17,679
Speaker 1: Okay.

1326
01:10:17,840 --> 01:10:20,200
Speaker 3: All that Carla has told me is that Rick was

1327
01:10:20,240 --> 01:10:22,439
Speaker 3: told about our past and he's now.

1328
01:10:22,520 --> 01:10:24,679
Speaker 1: Very angry at her for never saying anything.

1329
01:10:24,720 --> 01:10:28,880
Speaker 3: And honestly, that's probably because you still have feelings for

1330
01:10:28,920 --> 01:10:31,280
Speaker 3: that person if you're that cagey about it, Because if

1331
01:10:31,320 --> 01:10:33,519
Speaker 3: you're not, then it's not even a worry. That's yeah,

1332
01:10:33,800 --> 01:10:36,160
Speaker 3: Oh this happened like it's it's nothing anymore.

1333
01:10:36,400 --> 01:10:38,759
Speaker 1: It's chill. You know, there's nothing you should be worried about,

1334
01:10:38,840 --> 01:10:39,200
Speaker 1: and if.

1335
01:10:39,080 --> 01:10:41,519
Speaker 3: You're intentionally not saying something, maybe there is something you

1336
01:10:41,520 --> 01:10:42,400
Speaker 3: should be worried about.

1337
01:10:42,600 --> 01:10:42,800
Speaker 1: Now.

1338
01:10:42,920 --> 01:10:46,200
Speaker 3: It became quite a drama, and we didn't hear from

1339
01:10:46,200 --> 01:10:47,920
Speaker 3: her for over a month.

1340
01:10:48,439 --> 01:10:51,320
Speaker 1: A month until now.

1341
01:10:51,920 --> 01:10:56,240
Speaker 3: Oh wait, what's happening. Now we're about to find out.

1342
01:10:57,400 --> 01:11:00,439
Speaker 3: She told me that they're going to couples counseling. So

1343
01:11:00,600 --> 01:11:04,400
Speaker 3: it's it's been pretty rough basically, but the wedding is

1344
01:11:04,680 --> 01:11:09,160
Speaker 3: still blonde. But Rick suggested that I don't attend, and

1345
01:11:09,479 --> 01:11:12,640
Speaker 3: it sucks, but I totally get why he wouldn't be

1346
01:11:12,640 --> 01:11:15,519
Speaker 3: comfortable with me there. Then I asked the obvious question,

1347
01:11:16,560 --> 01:11:19,880
Speaker 3: where are they going to hold the wedding? Then, to

1348
01:11:19,960 --> 01:11:23,000
Speaker 3: my surprise, she said that she still wanted it to

1349
01:11:23,040 --> 01:11:25,879
Speaker 3: be at our place, so she they want to uninvite

1350
01:11:25,920 --> 01:11:28,120
Speaker 3: him from the wedding but hold it at his house.

1351
01:11:28,160 --> 01:11:33,639
Speaker 1: Wait what, Yes, the wedding venue is the Opie's house. Yeah,

1352
01:11:33,760 --> 01:11:35,639
Speaker 1: he can't even go to his own house.

1353
01:11:35,680 --> 01:11:37,880
Speaker 3: That's ridiculous, literally, like, hey, get out of your own

1354
01:11:37,880 --> 01:11:40,920
Speaker 3: house for like all like week, may like four days.

1355
01:11:40,960 --> 01:11:43,920
Speaker 3: You know, that's silly, silly, you can't. You can't have

1356
01:11:43,960 --> 01:11:46,439
Speaker 3: your cake and eat it exactly. Like, they either need

1357
01:11:46,479 --> 01:11:50,559
Speaker 3: to invite him or completely move, which sucks, Like it

1358
01:11:50,800 --> 01:11:52,880
Speaker 3: sucks to move the whole wedding to a new place,

1359
01:11:52,920 --> 01:11:54,519
Speaker 3: but that's just what you got to do.

1360
01:11:54,560 --> 01:11:57,639
Speaker 1: You can't tell someone, hey, you just you know, inte

1361
01:11:57,680 --> 01:11:58,520
Speaker 1: him to the wedding.

1362
01:11:58,400 --> 01:12:01,120
Speaker 3: Or yeah, yeah, exactly, that's that's the other option there

1363
01:12:01,160 --> 01:12:03,720
Speaker 3: of what they should do. So she said that, Rick

1364
01:12:03,800 --> 01:12:08,000
Speaker 3: said so, And in my mind, I'm going he doesn't

1365
01:12:08,000 --> 01:12:10,880
Speaker 3: want the guy who dated his fiance years ago at

1366
01:12:10,920 --> 01:12:14,839
Speaker 3: the wedding, but still wants the wedding at my house,

1367
01:12:15,240 --> 01:12:16,880
Speaker 3: Like it's just not adding up for him.

1368
01:12:17,120 --> 01:12:19,759
Speaker 1: Also, this house must be nice to have, like your.

1369
01:12:19,720 --> 01:12:22,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean it sounds like I mean if it has,

1370
01:12:22,040 --> 01:12:24,559
Speaker 3: like he said, a nice view, large enough for the

1371
01:12:24,600 --> 01:12:27,040
Speaker 3: reception and after like he sounds like he's got.

1372
01:12:27,120 --> 01:12:30,639
Speaker 1: A baller ass pass. Uh no, wonder she still loves

1373
01:12:32,560 --> 01:12:33,959
Speaker 1: give it him checks. Baby.

1374
01:12:34,040 --> 01:12:36,920
Speaker 3: Now, my wife and I are expecting to just not

1375
01:12:37,120 --> 01:12:40,920
Speaker 3: be at our home that weekend. Like it's just crazy.

1376
01:12:41,600 --> 01:12:47,320
Speaker 3: So here is what I told Carla. No, I told her, no,

1377
01:12:48,960 --> 01:12:52,120
Speaker 3: they're going to have to find someplace else since we

1378
01:12:52,320 --> 01:12:55,280
Speaker 3: are not going to simply leave our home to them

1379
01:12:55,560 --> 01:12:59,400
Speaker 3: for an entire weekend. Yeah, and like, not only for

1380
01:12:59,439 --> 01:13:02,559
Speaker 3: the safety reasons, but it just doesn't make sense overall.

1381
01:13:03,240 --> 01:13:06,400
Speaker 3: Rick doesn't want me around because he's not comfortable, but

1382
01:13:06,439 --> 01:13:09,960
Speaker 3: he's comfortable enough to have the wedding at my house.

1383
01:13:10,120 --> 01:13:12,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, Rick is just insecure at this point.

1384
01:13:12,960 --> 01:13:14,479
Speaker 3: You're all over the place, man, like you got you

1385
01:13:14,479 --> 01:13:17,479
Speaker 3: gotta get it together, like I'm look, it sucks that

1386
01:13:17,560 --> 01:13:19,280
Speaker 3: you know you found it all the information the way

1387
01:13:19,280 --> 01:13:22,040
Speaker 3: you did, but like this is not the appropriate response here.

1388
01:13:22,920 --> 01:13:26,200
Speaker 3: They really want their wedding here though, and because of that,

1389
01:13:26,520 --> 01:13:30,000
Speaker 3: I've been bugged not only by her, but also Rick

1390
01:13:30,200 --> 01:13:33,160
Speaker 3: and some of their friends who think I'm being a

1391
01:13:33,200 --> 01:13:36,080
Speaker 3: petty a hole by not letting them have their wedding

1392
01:13:36,080 --> 01:13:38,720
Speaker 3: here anymore. So they're just getting all their friends to

1393
01:13:38,760 --> 01:13:41,280
Speaker 3: gang up on them like ridiculous kind of whack. I

1394
01:13:41,360 --> 01:13:43,840
Speaker 3: honestly don't think that I'm the a hole here. It

1395
01:13:43,960 --> 01:13:46,479
Speaker 3: just doesn't make sense at all to have us leave

1396
01:13:46,600 --> 01:13:50,040
Speaker 3: our own place for a wedding we're no longer welcome to,

1397
01:13:50,640 --> 01:13:54,599
Speaker 3: and leaving our home totally vulnerable as well, still being

1398
01:13:54,600 --> 01:13:57,800
Speaker 3: accused of sabotaging their wedding, and Rick believes it's the

1399
01:13:57,920 --> 01:13:59,559
Speaker 3: least I can do after everything?

1400
01:14:00,080 --> 01:14:06,559
Speaker 1: Am I the ale? I think? No? Yeah, no, it's

1401
01:14:06,560 --> 01:14:09,920
Speaker 1: a it's a fricked up situation here, but it's it's

1402
01:14:09,960 --> 01:14:14,080
Speaker 1: not Op's fault. No, it's really Carlo's fault for not

1403
01:14:14,120 --> 01:14:17,519
Speaker 1: telling Rick, and that's Rick's fault for being insecure, and

1404
01:14:17,600 --> 01:14:19,880
Speaker 1: then there's both their fault for still wanting to have

1405
01:14:19,920 --> 01:14:24,360
Speaker 1: the wedding even though they feel insecure about Op being there. Literally,

1406
01:14:24,800 --> 01:14:28,360
Speaker 1: Op definitely not the ahole. I agree. I think I

1407
01:14:28,360 --> 01:14:29,320
Speaker 1: think that's case closed.

1408
01:14:29,360 --> 01:14:33,000
Speaker 3: I think that's two wedding stories for the books.

1409
01:14:33,400 --> 01:14:38,520
Speaker 1: Detective, We've done it again. Yes, before we go subscrib