Speaker 1: Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. You are tuned into
Speaker 1: the Vitamin D with Dawn Day podcast and I am
Speaker 1: your host, Dawn Day, here to get you excited about
Speaker 1: your life so that you can live life on purpose
Speaker 1: and for a purpose. And this is your first time
Speaker 1: tuning in and welcome Vitamin D. It's upon off my name.
Speaker 1: My name is Dawn, and you get Vitamin D from
Speaker 1: the sun. So I'm here to shed light into your life.
Speaker 1: And I do this with inspirational insights and conversations with
Speaker 1: celebrities and everyday people like you and me, Because if
Speaker 1: you want to be better and you want to do better,
Speaker 1: then you're going to have to be able to see better.
Speaker 1: So join me on this journey of living our best
Speaker 1: lives and understanding and realizing how you are your greatest
Speaker 1: ass act. It's so interesting how distractions can make you
Speaker 1: forget where you are. Are you distracted? Who is distracting you?
Speaker 1: Are you distracting yourself? Do you know I'm just sending
Speaker 1: the studio and forgot that I was in here, all
Speaker 1: up in something else's and someone else's business in my phone.
Speaker 1: I can't imagine how many times you've possibly missed, how
Speaker 1: many times I miss forget that signals cues by being distracted.
Speaker 1: That's another thing that I'm catching right now. Trusting her
Speaker 1: intuition more on what I feel, and respected myself and
Speaker 1: honoring myself with that. Old friends is in me up
Speaker 1: the other day. And one thing I've always admired about
Speaker 1: her is that her willingness to set boundaries. And it
Speaker 1: all started out even with keeping her phone on do
Speaker 1: not disturb during certain hours. Jeremiah and I will talk
Speaker 1: about it all the time. I'm like, I try not
Speaker 1: to answer any clause in the morning because that's my moment,
Speaker 1: that's my time. And I noticed each time that I
Speaker 1: decided to give an buckoln something comes and disarray. I
Speaker 1: began disgruntled and gotta get myself back together. But when
Speaker 1: I was talking to my friend or when she was
Speaker 1: texting me, she was just saying how she even had
Speaker 1: exercised those boundaries with her her own father. And sometimes
Speaker 1: it's the closest people to you, because those are people
Speaker 1: who have the most access to you, and if you
Speaker 1: don't create your boundaries, it'll start to see that you
Speaker 1: have walls and I ain't nobody coming in. And that's like, listen,
Speaker 1: do It's a picture check and where your boundaries lie,
Speaker 1: because that distraction can derail you. Get your right, m
Speaker 1: right with me and get excited about you. I want
Speaker 1: to talk to you about point five. It sounds relatively small,
Speaker 1: right when you look at a whole pie. If you
Speaker 1: look at the number one hundred and you say, okay,
Speaker 1: nine point five and the only little bit that's not
Speaker 1: included is that point five. But you gotta realize how
Speaker 1: important that point five is. Now. This came to me
Speaker 1: on the balcony downtown in Los Angeles, California. I was
Speaker 1: sitting there talking to some friends, primarily this couple, Brian
Speaker 1: and brand Uh, like any couple, figuring out there's no
Speaker 1: denial that love is there. However, there's one thing that
Speaker 1: stood out, and it's that point five. Brian and Brandon
Speaker 1: have been together for many years, and Uh, Brandon credits
Speaker 1: Brian a lot for helping him through college, standing by
Speaker 1: him being there to pull him up, showing him patience,
Speaker 1: showing him with love looks like and Brian of course
Speaker 1: is there because he loves him, but something's in the way,
Speaker 1: and it's that point five. Brand is in a situation
Speaker 1: where he feels himself something that's missing. He feels as
Speaker 1: though Brian isn't given it all, like he doesn't have
Speaker 1: his exact footing. And I asked him, said, well, why
Speaker 1: do you feel like that? He said, well, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I said, no, something had to happen. What happened to
Speaker 1: the point five? As I say, in any conversation, when
Speaker 1: you talk about communication, there's a sending and receiving, okay,
Speaker 1: And just as important it is to send, you have
Speaker 1: to be able to receive it. And that's on both
Speaker 1: parties because you can't just be sending things out aimlessly
Speaker 1: without any type of intention and then not receiving or
Speaker 1: failing to receive what's being sent out to you. That's
Speaker 1: where the clearity communication comes about, right. The person that's
Speaker 1: sending is ensuring that the person receiving is their their
Speaker 1: just just just talking to talk, and the person is
Speaker 1: just sitting there ignoring them to ignore them. He said, hey,
Speaker 1: let me tell you something about us. Uh, Brandon, you
Speaker 1: know they're moving on to another level of their life,
Speaker 1: for they're moving out of state and taking things to
Speaker 1: the next level. He says, I had an issue. I
Speaker 1: had an issue at a time where you allow your
Speaker 1: temperat to get in the way. He said, I love
Speaker 1: everything about you ninety nine point five percent at a time.
Speaker 1: You are everything in all that I he said, But
Speaker 1: when I saw you in that light and you got
Speaker 1: upset and you were drinking, he said, I didn't like that.
Speaker 1: Point five Brandon stuff back. He's like, well, why are
Speaker 1: you holding that little bit of me against me? I'm
Speaker 1: not like that all the time. You can ask all
Speaker 1: my friends. Any of my friends will tell you that
Speaker 1: that is not who I am. Brian says, I have
Speaker 1: zero tolerance for disrespect. I immediately looked at Brian and
Speaker 1: I said, I clapped. I said thank you, I said,
Speaker 1: thank you for being clear. But what a boundary is, See,
Speaker 1: there's something important about a boundary. A boundary is also
Speaker 1: why it looks like if things are keeping out. It's
Speaker 1: also a way to make space, because it's saying this
Speaker 1: is the area, this is the realm in which we
Speaker 1: can't partake it once we travel outside of these bounds.
Speaker 1: Now there's an issue I have to sign to be
Speaker 1: signed up for a relationship. Not normal, we're staying right.
Speaker 1: But when someone tells you what to stand, now you
Speaker 1: have a choice or whether or not you choose to
Speaker 1: stand in it right, So I said, thank you so
Speaker 1: much for that clarity. I had to look at Brandon
Speaker 1: and I said, wait a minute, now, don't fault and
Speaker 1: say he has no right to be holding this point
Speaker 1: five Now I gave it to Brandon, and two fold.
Speaker 1: I said, One, you halfway didn't want to tell me
Speaker 1: what happened that evening, and it's not important to go
Speaker 1: into the detail, I said, looking at Brian. He barely
Speaker 1: wanted to say, hey, we don't have to go into anything.
Speaker 1: So that tells me that this was a moment that
Speaker 1: somebody doesn't even want to speak life on something that
Speaker 1: had already happened, yet it is still something that is
Speaker 1: affecting them right now. Two Now, understanding that it had
Speaker 1: something to do with your temper, Brandon, the very first
Speaker 1: time that I met you, you looked as though you
Speaker 1: were about to blow a gasket. Now, regardless to whatever
Speaker 1: the situation was, you were annoyed, You thought somebody was
Speaker 1: trying to talk to your man. You felt that you
Speaker 1: were disrespected. The fact that that was the first time
Speaker 1: that I had met you, and that was the story
Speaker 1: that I was walking away with that says a lot.
Speaker 1: Three how you do anything, that's how you do everything.
Speaker 1: Do you think that this is the first time that
Speaker 1: you got upset or do you realize that this is
Speaker 1: the first time that perhaps it got out of hand
Speaker 1: and you couldn't control it. Now, Brandon says, you know what,
Speaker 1: I understand that these things happen when I have something
Speaker 1: to drink, So therefore I'm gonna stain with drinking. I said,
Speaker 1: Await a minute. Even bodybuilders have cheap days. What do
Speaker 1: you do on a day that you may have a cocktail?
Speaker 1: What do you do if you feel as though somebody
Speaker 1: is looking at your man? How do you control yourself?
Speaker 1: Because right now you're part of the love of your life,
Speaker 1: the man that you said that you want to spend
Speaker 1: your rest of your life with. Says, hey, there's a
Speaker 1: point for pent I can't deal with. Oh no, why
Speaker 1: are you looking at this point five percent? That's only
Speaker 1: a piece of me that only happened once. Well, how
Speaker 1: you do anything, it's all you do everything. I said, Brandon,
Speaker 1: do you believe in God like push your faith? He
Speaker 1: said yes. I said that point five percent is nothing
Speaker 1: different then what God is saying in size of untail.
Speaker 1: In terms of faith, the size is of a mustardcy
Speaker 1: do you understand how powerful that point five percent is
Speaker 1: no different to that of a power of a seed?
Speaker 1: Right at whatever happening to it that day, that point
Speaker 1: five got rooted in your man, Brian, we don't know
Speaker 1: what's growing up in there. Now. What you have to
Speaker 1: ask yourself is are you doing the work so that
Speaker 1: you don't get out of pocket like you did? Because
Speaker 1: remember that point five percent can derel your whole relationship.
Speaker 1: It's not saying that you're a bad person, right because
Speaker 1: we just established that this is amazing part of you.
Speaker 1: But again, Brian has detailed that he is not going
Speaker 1: to handle this point five. So he looked at me
Speaker 1: and I said perplexed, and he said, you're right. He's like,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm not always like that. You know, things
Speaker 1: give me upset. I said, like, I said, you look
Speaker 1: like you're about to blow a gasket. I said, your
Speaker 1: body is tense. He's like, well, you know, it's a
Speaker 1: lot that I had to deal with, you know, just
Speaker 1: being a black man, you know, coming up in here
Speaker 1: like somebody disrespect, to have to handle the fact being
Speaker 1: from content, you know, dealing with my sexuality. It's a
Speaker 1: lot going on, he said, plus on the fact, you
Speaker 1: know he didn't grow up with the fact of his
Speaker 1: parents every day trying to kill each other. Dang dang,
Speaker 1: dong dong, fine, callaway peace. What's up everybody? This trade
Speaker 1: change and you are listening to with don Day, I said,
Speaker 1: I'm not here to judge you. I'm not here to
Speaker 1: throw anything in your face. But do you see how
Speaker 1: something that you have witnessed when you are a child
Speaker 1: is leaking over into this area your life? Now none
Speaker 1: of us are perfect, right because when we talk about
Speaker 1: vitamin D, we talk about shared the light on the
Speaker 1: good and the bad. Because what if you want to
Speaker 1: be better and you want to do better, you have
Speaker 1: to be able to see better. It's all about making wrong.
Speaker 1: So I'm looking at Brandon, I said, now I need
Speaker 1: you to make room for yourself and not judge yourself.
Speaker 1: So as we make a room, I'm telling myself, I
Speaker 1: sit back and look at everything. Right now, you just
Speaker 1: acknowledge the fact that you grew up in the household
Speaker 1: when your parents were abusive to one another. It was
Speaker 1: just identifying the fact that when you have a cocktail
Speaker 1: you might get a little upset. You just identified the
Speaker 1: fact that you have a lot of stresses on yourself
Speaker 1: in society as a whole, that's a common thread of
Speaker 1: something that's going on or something that's existing right now.
Speaker 1: Because none of us are perfect beings. We're just living
Speaker 1: here imperfectly. What tools do we have around ourselves to
Speaker 1: you to support us? And I said, have you ever
Speaker 1: thought about therapy? Because we all have to do the
Speaker 1: work somehow, right, we all can't think that we are
Speaker 1: magicians and we just know how to piece everything together, right,
Speaker 1: I said, because we're talking about something that instilled and
Speaker 1: happened to you that when you were younger, it's affecting
Speaker 1: your life right now. And guess what, it's only point five.
Speaker 1: I even gave this example. As I'm standing on the balcony, right,
Speaker 1: I said, imagine this, I said, my destination is right
Speaker 1: in front of me. If I were to pivot, I
Speaker 1: don't care if it was one million eater each step.
Speaker 1: Eventually I'm falling off of the balcony because I'm derailing.
Speaker 1: That's what happens when we start to ignore things that
Speaker 1: are affecting us in our life. We think that we
Speaker 1: have a clear vision on something, but something as small
Speaker 1: as that point five can throw us off our game.
Speaker 1: I looked at him, I said, could you imagine this
Speaker 1: man has said you are everything he needs at point,
Speaker 1: but he saw a point five percent of you that
Speaker 1: he could not handle. That he said, wasn't immediately. No,
Speaker 1: there's no tolerance for So I looked at me and
Speaker 1: said that what do you do about that? Because now
Speaker 1: we have to make a choice. You know, I say,
Speaker 1: when you want to look at what your desires and
Speaker 1: wants our life, you have to look at the choices.
Speaker 1: Your choices will always tell you what you want. We
Speaker 1: can say I decided this, and I want this so much. Okay, well,
Speaker 1: what does the kind of decisions are you making? So?
Speaker 1: I said, Brandon, what do you do from here? You
Speaker 1: said that you gotta PI out of pocket one time
Speaker 1: and it derails something I told you the first time
Speaker 1: I met you. You seem to be in your feelings
Speaker 1: in some type of way. I even furthermore, what to
Speaker 1: tell him? I said, even this is the second time,
Speaker 1: and understanding what's going on, We're always having this conversation
Speaker 1: about you're not knowing where you're footing is. I said,
Speaker 1: now that it's clear, Now you understand what it is.
Speaker 1: And what it ain't it? Right now? This is that margin.
Speaker 1: It doesn't take the fact the way that you can
Speaker 1: love somebody doesn't take a fact the way that you
Speaker 1: are passionate about something. If you are derailing yourself at
Speaker 1: that point five percent, eventually you will tumble over. Hence
Speaker 1: that's why we have parents. Right. I'm not saying that
Speaker 1: you have to be perfect. What I'm saying is that
Speaker 1: in order to be better and to do better, you
Speaker 1: have to be able to see better. Brandon, what decision
Speaker 1: are you going to make? What is your choice? We
Speaker 1: have identify find the fact of what this party five
Speaker 1: percent can affect you in your relationship, in your life?
Speaker 1: Are you choosing to do what it takes to sustain
Speaker 1: your relationship? Now, as far as much as I want
Speaker 1: to say no judgment, it's still gonna be judgment because
Speaker 1: who do you think that you are, that you're so
Speaker 1: big and bad that you can figure out what's going on? Huh?
Speaker 1: How are you expected to see through a blurry window
Speaker 1: if it's not even clear? That's why oftentimes we use cleaners,
Speaker 1: we use wipes to clear things up, We use other
Speaker 1: tools outside of us. And that's why I want to
Speaker 1: implore so much, especially in the African American community, how
Speaker 1: we need to talk about things. Huh. We need to
Speaker 1: get to the heart of the matter. What love this
Speaker 1: and how important mental health is. Right, we need to
Speaker 1: understand that what the trials and tribulations are people holding
Speaker 1: onto that are members of the l g B, t
Speaker 1: q I A community. Right, this is affecting people and
Speaker 1: their livelihood, how they function, how they operate, and the
Speaker 1: pressures that sit on there. Now, this man is up here, Brighton,
Speaker 1: that's up here acknowledging his own way that perhaps there
Speaker 1: is an anchor issue, perhaps not nine point nine percent
Speaker 1: of the time he feels as though he is walking
Speaker 1: around tents and not here to judge him. I was
Speaker 1: just looking at him around the house, and I can
Speaker 1: see how we're stepping on his tiptoes, just tensed up,
Speaker 1: you know, just up. And one time I sitting next
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, hell, let's just stand down.
Speaker 1: He was like, well, he said, oh yeah, and we
Speaker 1: all have our thing. But my moment of saying it
Speaker 1: said it's time to relax, It's time to make room.
Speaker 1: Point five. When I left out the house, you know,
Speaker 1: I helped him and his partner and I said, don't
Speaker 1: forget what we talked about. I said, point five. What
Speaker 1: do you want? He said, thank you so much. You
Speaker 1: gave me some good things to think about. I said,
Speaker 1: not listening. I don't want to have to come back
Speaker 1: and talk about this again. It sounds small, but remember
Speaker 1: small things take root, and when there's things that take
Speaker 1: real things start to grow. Now, because we're human, we're
Speaker 1: not perfect. Many things will grow depending on the season,
Speaker 1: depending on the temperature. But it is our job, it
Speaker 1: is our due diligence to do the trimmy you hear
Speaker 1: when people talk about prony. I went through a whole
Speaker 1: season in my life, and in many ways I still
Speaker 1: am going through that season of prony, discerning what's for
Speaker 1: me and what isn't for me. It isn't just a
Speaker 1: one time thing. It is a constant thing, plucking not
Speaker 1: only people, not only things, but pieces of me that
Speaker 1: I need to define, but more importantly refine because it
Speaker 1: could be just what that would point five. I wonder
Speaker 1: what that point five is in your life? What is
Speaker 1: that one little thing that's possibly derailing you from living
Speaker 1: your best life of peace, of joy, of abundance. Is
Speaker 1: it that relationship isn't that job? Is it that that
Speaker 1: that social club that you're trying to keep up with
Speaker 1: the Jones's with? What is it? We all got something.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, let's just make room, sit back, and
Speaker 1: let's look at it, because we remember it's only point five.
Speaker 1: All right, let's get to some housekeeping. Um oh, here
Speaker 1: it is. Would you like to be on the show. Well,
Speaker 1: if you'd like to be on the show, guess what
Speaker 1: we'd love to have you, or if perhaps you may
Speaker 1: have an idea of something you'd like for us to
Speaker 1: talk about. Either way, shoot us an email Vitamin D
Speaker 1: at dawn day Speaks dot com. Okay, Also, you need
Speaker 1: some advice on love, relationships, career purpose, what have you?
Speaker 1: Go ahead and email me Vitamin D at dawn day
Speaker 1: Speaks dot com. Now you know I always say this,
Speaker 1: so I just want to underline, highlight, exclamation point when
Speaker 1: you're writing in. No, I'm gonna keep it real with you,
Speaker 1: because what do I say? If you want to be
Speaker 1: better and you want to do better, you're going to
Speaker 1: have to be able to say better. And I love
Speaker 1: that and I want that for you. I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: sugarcoat this for you because I wouldn't want you to
Speaker 1: do it for me, okay. And also, if you're in
Speaker 1: love with this podcast, if you're in love with supporting
Speaker 1: my dreams and you know that I'm gonna be here
Speaker 1: for a long time, I'm gonna tell them be for
Speaker 1: a long time. So you can jump on a band
Speaker 1: wagon now or you're gonna jump on the lady. Either way,
Speaker 1: we're gonna still be together. But I want you to
Speaker 1: tell somebody about us, tell somebody to tell somebody else,
Speaker 1: to tell somebody else that if I have been deep
Speaker 1: with doing day is available wherever you get your favorite podcasts.
Speaker 1: A podcast that are designed to get you excited about
Speaker 1: your life so that you can live life on purpose
Speaker 1: and for a purpose right now, because it feels good
Speaker 1: to feel good, Donna. Yeah. And also I want to
Speaker 1: encourage you to follow us on all social media. So
Speaker 1: if you like to see some clips of what we're
Speaker 1: doing in the studio with some of our special guests,
Speaker 1: per have some memes, um just anything in all things
Speaker 1: by m D. Perhaps even catch me doing some things
Speaker 1: around the city or a place near you. Go ahead
Speaker 1: and follow us at Vitamin D Dawn Dack. I love
Speaker 1: to connect with you we would love to connect with you,
Speaker 1: and by we, my Jeremiah and you know somewhere we're
Speaker 1: gonna pull in a gizmo a k A. Brian up
Speaker 1: in here. But that's what we're doing out here, all right.
Speaker 1: I hope you got something today. I'm about to head out.
Speaker 1: And you know I always say I'm in the business
Speaker 1: of making dreams come true, and our damn show ain't
Speaker 1: gonna forget about mine. So until next time, always remember
Speaker 1: you are your greatest status. Act, get your Vitamin D
Speaker 1: right here with me, and get excited about your lives.