Speaker 1: Hot, happy mess celebrate your magic in the middle of
Speaker 1: life's messes. Hot happy. I'm serial and this is hot
Speaker 1: happy made shoot. What is of a happy Monday? We
Speaker 1: are back at it again. It is the dog days
Speaker 1: of summer and it's hot. It's really hot, guys, it's hot.
Speaker 1: I can I'll beat that. Jack's please beat that. I'm
Speaker 1: sorry that was intense. You just got here. Stay please
Speaker 1: Look my house is in the valley and it's hot here.
Speaker 1: It's like ten degrees hotter than the rest of Los Angeles,
Speaker 1: which I technically love but sometimes don't, especially when I'm podcasting,
Speaker 1: because this office is not the coolest situation. And I
Speaker 1: really need to get the A C checked out because
Speaker 1: I don't think it's working anyways. I need a vacation
Speaker 1: and I'm planning to escape. Um. I'm going to Barbados
Speaker 1: at the end. Uh you know. I'm going to Barbados
Speaker 1: in September, which I'm really excited about, um because my
Speaker 1: best friend is getting married and I'm a native honor
Speaker 1: High Julie. And before that, we're going to turn up
Speaker 1: in Miami for the bachelorette party being veni Osamimi. So
Speaker 1: if you all know what we should do, or if
Speaker 1: you have any suggestions while I'm there, slide in my
Speaker 1: d m s with a debauchery. Cool cool. Okay, So
Speaker 1: last week we had the first part of our anxiety
Speaker 1: episode with our expert Dr Alicia, and if you haven't
Speaker 1: listened to that episode, go do it. She dropped a
Speaker 1: lot of gems on how to identify anxiety, how to
Speaker 1: manage it, cope with it, how to support someone if
Speaker 1: you have a loved one or friend or a family member,
Speaker 1: maybe a child or a parent who's dealing with it. Um.
Speaker 1: So it's a really great one, so go check it out.
Speaker 1: And today we've got part you, baby. We have one
Speaker 1: of what is now one of my favorite Real Woman,
Speaker 1: Real Story spotlights EVA, where I am talking with a
Speaker 1: super amazing, awesome, hilarious dope, LaToya Newton, who is just
Speaker 1: just dropping wisdom left and right. She's sharing her personal
Speaker 1: story with anxiety and why she created an amazing support
Speaker 1: network for others who might be dealing with it, yourself included.
Speaker 1: So you're gonna love the conversation. Here's LaToya. All right, y'all.
Speaker 1: For today's Real Woman, Real Story, we have LaToya D. Newton.
Speaker 1: She is a quintessential Bronx girl. She describes herself as
Speaker 1: a healthy mix of Cardi b and Lena James. If
Speaker 1: you know, you know, I love it. Uh. She's the
Speaker 1: post of her own podcast, The Analog Girl, and LaToya
Speaker 1: shares her experiences with anxiety and her journey through recovery
Speaker 1: to emotional wellness. When LaToya is not raising awareness about
Speaker 1: anxiety as an advocate for Mental Wealth, a relaxing day
Speaker 1: for her is laughing at ridiculous mimes Instagram or watching
Speaker 1: episodes of a Different World. Sign me up for either
Speaker 1: one of them. This way, I'm down. It is my
Speaker 1: favorite thing to do. Honestly, thank you so much for
Speaker 1: joining me today. I'm really excited to have you sort
Speaker 1: of open up to our listeners from a real woman perspective,
Speaker 1: because you know, we have an expert on this episode,
Speaker 1: and we all have dealt with various forms of anxiety,
Speaker 1: some stronger than others. Um but especially coming out of
Speaker 1: the pandemic, I think more people than ever have had
Speaker 1: triggering events myself included that I hadn't experienced before what
Speaker 1: was for a lot of us. Um So I love
Speaker 1: if you could just dive in by sharing your personal
Speaker 1: journey with anxiety. UM, tell us your story. How did
Speaker 1: you get to a place where you realize this is
Speaker 1: something that I've I've got to figure out or get
Speaker 1: a hold on. Sure. So, UM, I think it all
Speaker 1: hit the fan from me. In two thousand and eighteen, UM,
Speaker 1: I started to struggle with something called the personalization UM.
Speaker 1: And for people who don't know what that is, it's UM.
Speaker 1: It's a symptom of anxiety UM. And it makes you
Speaker 1: feel like you are living in an altered reality, or
Speaker 1: like you're in a dream world, or you're kind of
Speaker 1: disassociated and disconnected from your body and you're feeling very
Speaker 1: disconnected from people and even your atmosphere. UM. So I
Speaker 1: woke up March first feeling like that, and I just
Speaker 1: thought the world was coming to it and I thought
Speaker 1: I was dying. I thought I thought I was in purgatory.
Speaker 1: I don't know what the hell was going on, not purgector.
Speaker 1: I was like, well is it pergectory? Child? Like, I
Speaker 1: don't know what this is. And I just kept saying
Speaker 1: to my mom, like, yo, I feel weird, like what's
Speaker 1: going on. I didn't know what was going on, so
Speaker 1: I'm like wow. So UM, I started to go to
Speaker 1: the emergency room. I was getting cat scans, I was
Speaker 1: getting calmly. What did what did it feel like physically?
Speaker 1: Like what made you feel like I need to go
Speaker 1: to the hospital. I just didn't feel real like I
Speaker 1: I can't. It's the only way I can explain. And
Speaker 1: if you google the personalization UM, you'll see that that
Speaker 1: is one of the things, like you just don't feel
Speaker 1: real like your body. You feel completely disconnected from your body.
Speaker 1: So like I would look in the mirror and I
Speaker 1: would see myself, but it was like it wasn't um connecting.
Speaker 1: So it was just very It's a very strange feeling.
Speaker 1: And it's just um, a symptom of anxiety, like I said,
Speaker 1: and it just comes from being in a place of
Speaker 1: chronic fear or heightened fear. So my body had went
Speaker 1: into a fight or flight um uh feeling, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. Like, so I prior to that had
Speaker 1: a panic attack. I was having panic attacks. And then um,
Speaker 1: I also smoked some weed, you know, I tried to
Speaker 1: do I'll be trying to be like other people. I
Speaker 1: need to chill because because weed is not for me.
Speaker 1: And I actually had one of those nights like like
Speaker 1: smokey on Friday, like when he was running in the streets,
Speaker 1: that was out in the middle of Harlem, out there
Speaker 1: while out rushed to the hospital. It's a very funny story.
Speaker 1: That's actually an episode on my podcast, and you go
Speaker 1: back unless into the full story. Okay, yeah, so that's
Speaker 1: a long one. So short story long or long story short. UM.
Speaker 1: I started to have panic attacks after tweaking UM and UM.
Speaker 1: I think that the panic attacks would cause me to
Speaker 1: go into the depersonalization. So a lot of people do
Speaker 1: experience depersonalization after having a bad reaction to weed. There's
Speaker 1: a lot of people out there, and sometimes it just
Speaker 1: happens from people who are just going through some trauma
Speaker 1: or any kind of um UM long term anxiety that
Speaker 1: they have gone through. So it's it's or or brain
Speaker 1: or trauma. Brain trauma. Brain injury can bring this along
Speaker 1: too as well, so it's a lot of different ways
Speaker 1: to experience it. So that's what happened to me. UM
Speaker 1: and I just decided like I hated the feeling. I
Speaker 1: didn't like being on the train and not known what
Speaker 1: I just everything was weird. I was scared to come
Speaker 1: out of my room. I was scared to walk outside.
Speaker 1: I was scared to um, um, look beyond the train
Speaker 1: and was looking around and everything just seemed so familiar.
Speaker 1: It was like I was on a whole another planet.
Speaker 1: It's just for weird fucking things, very bizarre. And so
Speaker 1: I was like, yo, I don't want to feel like this.
Speaker 1: What can I do? And then I just started googling.
Speaker 1: You know, when we're not feeling good, we always webin
Speaker 1: d we all come profession yeah, we all become professional doctors.
Speaker 1: And so I just started to do my research and
Speaker 1: was figuring out that there was a community of people
Speaker 1: out there. I wasn't noticing any black people, um, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, yo, where are the black folks? Like, somebody
Speaker 1: else got to be going through this ship. It can't
Speaker 1: just be all white people in the UK, because that's
Speaker 1: what I kept finding. But this British Yeah, I was like,
Speaker 1: is this a British thing? Like what it is? It's
Speaker 1: like like so um, So yeah, I started to do
Speaker 1: my research. Um, I started to figure out. I got
Speaker 1: to the point when I was like, okay, so this
Speaker 1: is anxiety, so boom check it. This is what we're
Speaker 1: gonna do. I'm gonna figure this out. What do I
Speaker 1: gotta do to like just lower my anxiety. How do
Speaker 1: I try to, um, you know, heal this or recover
Speaker 1: from this? And so I, you know, started teaching myself tools.
Speaker 1: I found books, I found people. I started analog girl. UM,
Speaker 1: I was in the talks at that time with a
Speaker 1: network with actually loudspeaker, UM to have my own podcast. There.
Speaker 1: Blew that ship in the ground because I was I
Speaker 1: was so the personalized. My pilot was trash because you
Speaker 1: just weren't even I was not there. I was, I don't,
Speaker 1: I was in outer space somewhere. I was gone. So UM,
Speaker 1: I lost that opportunity. UM. And let me ask you this,
Speaker 1: just because I'm curious to know. Was there a triggering
Speaker 1: event for you and only you know, share as much
Speaker 1: as you're comfortable with or not. Was this something that
Speaker 1: you dealt with off and on for years and twenty
Speaker 1: eight team was just when it went to the next level?
Speaker 1: Or did it come out of nowhere? Not? Yeah? So
Speaker 1: I remember my very first panic attack. I remember having
Speaker 1: um my uh, sophomore year in college. I remember having
Speaker 1: the panic attack but not really knowing what it was.
Speaker 1: And I think what triggered me And it's oddly it's
Speaker 1: so weird, is that, um Aaliyah dying because she was
Speaker 1: so close an age with me. UM, I was very
Speaker 1: traumatized by that, Like I got really scared and started
Speaker 1: to question more mortality at that point. So UM, Prior
Speaker 1: to that, I had experienced trauma in my life and
Speaker 1: I have a lot of things that have happened, but
Speaker 1: I was able to, UM, you know, I guess sweep
Speaker 1: that stuff under the rug. So when the when I
Speaker 1: started to have to be faced with mortality is when
Speaker 1: I started to become really like, oh God, what does
Speaker 1: this mean. I'm not I'm not gonna be on earth forever.
Speaker 1: That stuff started to ruminating. Thoughts started to hap when
Speaker 1: Elia died. So I think that was the first time
Speaker 1: I experienced a panic attack. UM. And then it happened again,
Speaker 1: UM in my older age, when I've had friends, UM
Speaker 1: who have more close to me that passed away. So UM,
Speaker 1: I think that it's always been in my life, but
Speaker 1: it really hit the fan for me in two thousand
Speaker 1: and eighteen, and I guess, you know, my body was
Speaker 1: just like, Okay, enough, it's enough. You gotta figure this out,
Speaker 1: you know. So I just started going to therapy. I
Speaker 1: was reading up on stuff I started in a little girl. Uh,
Speaker 1: you know, it was just working out and changing my diets.
Speaker 1: So I was just trying to get myself together that way.
Speaker 1: Um and you know, and then people started coming to
Speaker 1: me saying, Yo, your story is crazy because I was
Speaker 1: going through the same thing. Never had I seen a
Speaker 1: black woman talk about this, so thank you, you know,
Speaker 1: so it just helped me to move forward and keep
Speaker 1: going telling my story. It's beautiful and amazing that you
Speaker 1: have been able to take that part of your story
Speaker 1: and really reclaim it, right like that could easily have
Speaker 1: gripped you, taken ahold of you and become who you are.
Speaker 1: But instead of that, it's how do I work with
Speaker 1: this and help other people also, which is what I
Speaker 1: want to get into, and just a little bit with
Speaker 1: the analog girl. Um, but first just sort of diving
Speaker 1: in for someone who may be listening and feeling like
Speaker 1: holds up, but she's explaining it sounds a lot like
Speaker 1: what I'm going through right now. What what all did
Speaker 1: that feel like? Not even in those um specific moments
Speaker 1: where maybe you were having an obvious panic attack or
Speaker 1: anxiety attack, but just your day to day, your career,
Speaker 1: you were a project manager at the time when you
Speaker 1: were dealing in with a lot of this, right, how
Speaker 1: did that affect your work? To fight me? So I
Speaker 1: don't know how to what How long you got? Like
Speaker 1: how long you got? When I tell you, I mean
Speaker 1: I went through the wringer when it comes what were
Speaker 1: you doing that? Whatening? It looked like a damn deer
Speaker 1: and headlights in the middle of that. And in the meeting,
Speaker 1: like I don't know what the funk they're saying to me,
Speaker 1: like you know what I'm saying. And as a project manager,
Speaker 1: you gotta like be on your p's and ques and
Speaker 1: really like I was losting the source. I remember talking
Speaker 1: to one guy and in the meeting, I was just like,
Speaker 1: you know, I just don't feel reel so that he
Speaker 1: was giving me the face like he did not back
Speaker 1: and what he was like backing U away from me,
Speaker 1: Like I don't know what then, And I was the
Speaker 1: only black girl, so of course they like don't let
Speaker 1: in and that and just don't know how to act
Speaker 1: place now like you know, in the first place, yeah,
Speaker 1: just got there, had just got there, so you know,
Speaker 1: it was crazy and I laughed about it now, but
Speaker 1: I was just really bucking out. I was really bugging
Speaker 1: out and um so I remember even one day, like
Speaker 1: the vice president president, she was like, we need to
Speaker 1: have a one on one because like you're not producing
Speaker 1: any work. Like I literally was coming to work and
Speaker 1: just sitting there staring like I don't know what the
Speaker 1: funk I'm doing. I don't understand anything. Because also to
Speaker 1: like I was still going on and I was having
Speaker 1: all these existential crises thoughts, like thinking I was dead
Speaker 1: or was gonna die or was dying. It was just
Speaker 1: so crazy. And then at the same time, I had
Speaker 1: another friend who was close to me die um suddenly
Speaker 1: after we had just went to Essence Festival, so like
Speaker 1: that was all compounded into one. And so she pulled
Speaker 1: me in for the one on one and I was
Speaker 1: crying like crazy, just tell her how I don't know
Speaker 1: what's going on with me, like I really, and she
Speaker 1: says she was gonna give me a chance, and like
Speaker 1: I'll give you a month. And she didn't advocate for me.
Speaker 1: Hr didn't give a fuck, Like they was just like whatever,
Speaker 1: And and did you you told them you felt like
Speaker 1: it was a yeah, I felt like it was a
Speaker 1: mental health thing. She they didn't offer me no help,
Speaker 1: no services. They just basically clowned me. They was talking
Speaker 1: about me. Um. They would go getting their little clicks
Speaker 1: and laugh at me, and I knew they was, but
Speaker 1: at that point I was just like, I mean, I'm
Speaker 1: used to getting tease and all that kind of ship.
Speaker 1: So I was just like whatever, you know, like I
Speaker 1: gotta just figure out what the hell is going on.
Speaker 1: And then finally she was like, yeah, we're gonna let
Speaker 1: you go. So I was like, well, before you let
Speaker 1: me go, can I at least get two months pay?
Speaker 1: Because like, you know, you guys, really I was telling
Speaker 1: you about my mental health situation, and you guys laughed.
Speaker 1: You thought I was you know, you thought it was
Speaker 1: a joke. And so they did. They gave me two
Speaker 1: months pay. They old me nasty asses and microaggression and
Speaker 1: everything else. And I started to freelance and then I
Speaker 1: had a lot of free time, and that's how I
Speaker 1: was able to you know, work on Analog Girl and
Speaker 1: like build that from the ground up, like asking realizing
Speaker 1: that I blew to the opportunity without speaking. So that's
Speaker 1: what happened, right, Yeah, Okay, I'm interested when you talk
Speaker 1: about you know the fact that you raise your concerns
Speaker 1: about your mental health to your colleagues, to your boss,
Speaker 1: and then that kind of went unanswered and eventually it
Speaker 1: kind of shot you in the foot, right. We want
Speaker 1: to feel like we can have a safe space at
Speaker 1: work to talk about our health if we show up
Speaker 1: with a broken back or I need two weeks out
Speaker 1: because I'm contagious or whatever. It's like, okay, but I've
Speaker 1: even hesitated with that where I'm like, I need a
Speaker 1: mental health day and it's worse than if I was
Speaker 1: sick or the flu or whatever it is. But the
Speaker 1: hesitation comes in because you don't trust that people will
Speaker 1: take that as seriously as we do the physical stuff.
Speaker 1: So I'm curious to know what you would say to
Speaker 1: someone who might be dealing with that hesitation for good reason,
Speaker 1: because it doesn't always win end well to go to
Speaker 1: your boss and say I need a mental health break. Okay,
Speaker 1: so I really again, you know, I always have the
Speaker 1: preface like I'm not a professional. Analog girl is not
Speaker 1: a professional thing, okay. Always got to say analog girls
Speaker 1: brought about to talk about my own personal experiences because
Speaker 1: it helps to be relatable to other people. So I
Speaker 1: don't think all the time it is it behooves you
Speaker 1: to share it with your employer. I don't think so.
Speaker 1: And I think that you have to know what You
Speaker 1: gotta go test out what HR is about. What what
Speaker 1: are there? What are what's important to them? You know
Speaker 1: what I mean? What are there? What are they stepped
Speaker 1: there and put their neck out for you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? And that organization, how do they feel about
Speaker 1: you as a black person there, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Or did they just start saying, oh, race to to
Speaker 1: health equity for black people or race to you know,
Speaker 1: get fifty people of color in our organization and by
Speaker 1: the year did they just start doing that? So you
Speaker 1: have to evaluate that and see like how much do
Speaker 1: they really care about us? And then how much do
Speaker 1: they really care about mental health? So I think that
Speaker 1: you have to you know, engauge that and if you
Speaker 1: have a relationship with your supervisor boss thing, yeah, I
Speaker 1: would they bring it up otherwise I personally, if you
Speaker 1: need that money and you need that job, start going
Speaker 1: to therapy, start figuring out another job, Start figuring out
Speaker 1: what your passion is um start figuring out your exit strategy.
Speaker 1: Because if it is not, it's not helping you and
Speaker 1: it's making you worse, and you also don't feel like
Speaker 1: you have a support system there, then that's not a
Speaker 1: place for you to work. That's how I feel. So
Speaker 1: by them letting me go was a blessing and I
Speaker 1: felt so relieved on that day. I was ashamed, but
Speaker 1: at the same time, I was like, you know what now,
Speaker 1: it's like, now what now? Let me hit the ground
Speaker 1: running and figure it out for myself. You know, like
Speaker 1: I've been homeless before us I can do this, you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. So I got into that mode.
Speaker 1: Um So I do believe that sometimes if you do
Speaker 1: have that support system, you can say something, but then
Speaker 1: sometimes you can't. Yeah, I appreciate you keeping it real
Speaker 1: about it because honestly, that's how I feel. I would
Speaker 1: love to get out here and be like, just go
Speaker 1: to your boss, and that's what they're there for. In
Speaker 1: h I learned a while go under different circumstances. That
Speaker 1: is not what that's not a protect the company and
Speaker 1: do what benefits the company. So because they will look
Speaker 1: at you as a threat, that's exactly it. And then
Speaker 1: their job oftentimes is to eliminate threats for the corporation. Um,
Speaker 1: but that that's that's a really good advice. You talk
Speaker 1: about having a really good or strong support network. I'm
Speaker 1: curious to know when you were going through the thick
Speaker 1: of it, did your relationships suffer? And then also what
Speaker 1: was the advice you got from family and friends. You know,
Speaker 1: particularly in the black community, there's there's been traditionally so
Speaker 1: much stigma around mental health, around therapy, around talking to people.
Speaker 1: I grew up with the mindset of we don't we
Speaker 1: just get we just get it done, we just keep
Speaker 1: it moving, like we don't really do too much talking
Speaker 1: about stuff. And I've had to grow out of that
Speaker 1: and unlearned so many of those behaviors. What was that
Speaker 1: like for you? Um? So, my mom, I'm a preacher's kid.
Speaker 1: My mom is about that life with the Bible and
Speaker 1: the prayer and the oil. Okay, and that's what let
Speaker 1: me tell get that holy oil right now. My gretty
Speaker 1: stayed with a bottle. Just be ready to get it
Speaker 1: and listen. And I was like, I want you to
Speaker 1: get it because I don't know what the hell is
Speaker 1: going on right now. Get the oil. As a matter
Speaker 1: of fact, just that's my whole body and that ship. Okay.
Speaker 1: Moisturized me. So my mom was definitely there for me. Um.
Speaker 1: She was there for me from day one. She was
Speaker 1: had to get into bed and sleeping me and rocked
Speaker 1: me to sleep because I was so scared to fall asleep. UM.
Speaker 1: My heart would be racing so bad. She would fill
Speaker 1: my pulse in my hands and she would just start
Speaker 1: praying and be like, you know, you gotta You're not
Speaker 1: telling me to calm down, because she knew all the
Speaker 1: right things to say, but she was just basically soothing
Speaker 1: me and rocking me until I would fall asleep. And
Speaker 1: my mom stayed with me about a week and then
Speaker 1: she looked at me and she was like, it's time,
Speaker 1: because now you have to get yourself through this. Um.
Speaker 1: So my mom was just very supportive in that and
Speaker 1: just um just nurturing me in that and then also
Speaker 1: let you know she experienced something like this before too,
Speaker 1: in her young in her younger age, UM, and how
Speaker 1: she dealt with it. UM. I also had a friend
Speaker 1: who came out to me and was like, Yo, I
Speaker 1: was going through this all last year. I just never
Speaker 1: said anything. So now I'm like what, Like I never
Speaker 1: said nothing, Like I was telling any of everybody who
Speaker 1: would listening because I wanted to know what was going on,
Speaker 1: and I was just like, this is so crazy to me.
Speaker 1: So you know, people just started to open up and
Speaker 1: talk to me and tell me what they were going through,
Speaker 1: um as far as relationships and now, listen, I was
Speaker 1: in a situation ship he had to go because Snick
Speaker 1: started having sex with other people immediately. I don't immediately,
Speaker 1: because who got time to have sex when they think
Speaker 1: they're dying? You know, I'm saying, so like that's a
Speaker 1: valid question, like who got talk for that? This ain't
Speaker 1: the movies, like not really trying to survive, hello, because
Speaker 1: you don't know those movies that they have to talk
Speaker 1: to tomorrow or whatever. They middle the war, it was
Speaker 1: fine time to you know, shoot at the club. Like nah,
Speaker 1: I was not doing none of that. So you know,
Speaker 1: he went on and was doing him and then he
Speaker 1: wasn't believing me, and he was just in denial about
Speaker 1: the whole thing, Like he was just looking at me like, so,
Speaker 1: what do you mean you like? You know, because on
Speaker 1: the outside I was looking like this. I was still
Speaker 1: doing my face. I was like getting dressed, you know,
Speaker 1: but I would be like, yo, I feel so crazy, right, now,
Speaker 1: and he wasn't understanding that. So I wasn't mad at
Speaker 1: him for doing that, you know, you know, so like
Speaker 1: I was just like whatever. But I had to come
Speaker 1: out of that situation because it was a situation ship
Speaker 1: and it was stressing me out. So I started to
Speaker 1: remove all those stressors like life. I'm glad you brought
Speaker 1: that up, because I wanted to ask what did you
Speaker 1: have to lose, what did you have to cut away?
Speaker 1: What boundaries did you have to set to start that
Speaker 1: journey to becoming healthier. Yeah, it was definitely the situation
Speaker 1: ship and knowing who I am and going to therapy
Speaker 1: and starting to learn how I and even now I'm
Speaker 1: I still and that's why I'm single now and get
Speaker 1: myself together because I become the man I become. I
Speaker 1: want that love so much, and you know, my daddy
Speaker 1: issues come up, and I want to be um loved.
Speaker 1: So I become engrossed, you know, and I knew that
Speaker 1: that was something that I had to just take take.
Speaker 1: I had to come out of that um. So I
Speaker 1: took that away. UM. I became more disciplined with my health.
Speaker 1: I stopped drinking at the time because I was doing
Speaker 1: a lot of heavy drinking, out of depression, out of
Speaker 1: wanting to be loved, out of wanting to be in
Speaker 1: a relationship, and this man was just all over the
Speaker 1: place doing him um. And then also just not being
Speaker 1: set in my career and my passion. I, UM, you know,
Speaker 1: was just stuck. I was stuck. So I just started
Speaker 1: to find ways of coming becoming unstuck, you know. And um,
Speaker 1: removing all of those things from my life was helping
Speaker 1: me to not be stuck anymore. You talked about what
Speaker 1: you lost or not lost really, but what you let
Speaker 1: go of so that you could get to a healthy place.
Speaker 1: What did you gain? What did you add to your
Speaker 1: lifestyle that helped you. Your faith was a part of that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: absolutely absolutely, UM, I do believe that I became closer
Speaker 1: with God in that situation. UM. I am definitely a
Speaker 1: hood chick, you know what I'm saying. But I love Jesus.
Speaker 1: I grew up in a church, born and raised, so
Speaker 1: I knew what my foundation was. I know the scriptures,
Speaker 1: I know the prayers, you know what I'm saying. I
Speaker 1: know that God has a plan for my life, and
Speaker 1: I know that He's always had his hand on my
Speaker 1: life every time um, I was going through a situation.
Speaker 1: So it was just like, uh, the second nature for
Speaker 1: me to just go into prayer and start to figet
Speaker 1: these things out and seek guidance and seek wisdom from him.
Speaker 1: But it helped me to get closer. And it wasn't
Speaker 1: when when I started to go back to church, the
Speaker 1: way people were gravitating towards me and I wasn't even
Speaker 1: speaking to them. It's when I realized, like, Okay, God,
Speaker 1: you are guiding me. You are putting me in a
Speaker 1: place where I must be fulfilling my purpose or calling
Speaker 1: at some place the point of time by doing this.
Speaker 1: So yes, spirituality has really really gotten me through. And
Speaker 1: I talked about that often on the podcast and write
Speaker 1: about it, you know, and give give the scriptures that
Speaker 1: helped me. Yeah, was I'm curious, what's one of your
Speaker 1: favorite scriptures? So Psalm's one sixteen where he says, I, I
Speaker 1: I know you don't think I heard you, but I
Speaker 1: heard your prayer. So I would listen to that old
Speaker 1: Wait a minute, because that's gonna make me start getting
Speaker 1: trio right now. I gotta chick. Look, you can cry
Speaker 1: hold on because you know the Holy Spirit will come
Speaker 1: right on end child, So let me bring it, let
Speaker 1: me rein it on end. You gotta rein it in,
Speaker 1: you know, because I you know, when you have the personalization,
Speaker 1: you feel invisible. And so you know, I would listen
Speaker 1: to that prayer and I mean, I'm sorry. I would
Speaker 1: read that scripture and then I would say my prayers
Speaker 1: and I'd be like, you know, that scripture gave me
Speaker 1: confirmation that he was hearing my prayer and he was
Speaker 1: going to bring me out of it. And so that
Speaker 1: whole Psalms one sixteen is basically that saying, I hear
Speaker 1: your prayer. I know that you're going through this battlefield
Speaker 1: in your mind, but you are going to come out
Speaker 1: of this. And not only are you going to come
Speaker 1: out of this, but you're gonna come out of this
Speaker 1: is pure gold. So that's what I will always focus
Speaker 1: on with someone's sixteen. So yes, who, let's keep talk
Speaker 1: about I love crying to last, Let's keep the lashes on.
Speaker 1: But yes, yes, And I had a very um like
Speaker 1: it was an experience at churchill like my pastor who
Speaker 1: she's just recently passed away, but I was just sitting
Speaker 1: by myself and I was going to church alone every
Speaker 1: Sunday mine in my business like on and one day
Speaker 1: she just was like, um, you excuse me question, were
Speaker 1: you in black panther like excuse? I was like no.
Speaker 1: She was like, but you know what, it's not even
Speaker 1: that your look. She was like, I'm just grabbing and
Speaker 1: this is her from the pulpit in the middle of
Speaker 1: the service. Oh no, no, no. She stopped service and
Speaker 1: was like, I'm just so drawn to you, and um,
Speaker 1: she was are you remember here? And I was like,
Speaker 1: not not yet. And she talked to me and then
Speaker 1: she spoken to my life and you know, she was
Speaker 1: just like, you know, well it ain't what kind of
Speaker 1: forever is Jesus First, that's pretty funny, but that in
Speaker 1: itself was God just saying I see you, and other
Speaker 1: people see you. You're not invisible. So like that was
Speaker 1: like the defining moment for me of coming out of
Speaker 1: this personalization in this altered universe or wherever I was
Speaker 1: living at the time. Spiritually, how long ago was that?
Speaker 1: How recently was that? Um, that was too, that was
Speaker 1: at the end. Now that was two thousand nineteen. So
Speaker 1: I went through two thousand and eighteen, joined the church
Speaker 1: at the end of two thousand eighteen, and that happened
Speaker 1: when in two thousand nineteen, okay it you mentioned your
Speaker 1: podcast on it you said something super interesting about not
Speaker 1: saying my anxiety anymore. My anxiety tell me about that?
Speaker 1: What does that mean? Why not that? Because it ain't mine?
Speaker 1: I don't want that ship So yes, and I you know,
Speaker 1: like I recently just finished writing a book, honestly, and
Speaker 1: I just had to go back and see where I
Speaker 1: was still saying it like muscle work like mine. I
Speaker 1: was like, nope, take that out, take that off, because
Speaker 1: I don't want other people to say it and start
Speaker 1: claiming ownership of it. So um, you know that was
Speaker 1: in my mind, like why I keep saying mine, like
Speaker 1: I own this thing. I don't own this, you know,
Speaker 1: like anxiety is also always going to be a part
Speaker 1: of our lives. It's a natural thing that happens. But
Speaker 1: I don't own that, you know, I don't own that
Speaker 1: our own peace, our own happiness, my happiness, my peace.
Speaker 1: What do you refer to? Do you not refer to
Speaker 1: it as at all? Or what I just say anxiety
Speaker 1: or you know, like so you know today I'm not
Speaker 1: I'm feeling a little just or you know, girl, I'll
Speaker 1: be having a little anxiety sometimes or like not a
Speaker 1: girl the way my anxiety set up. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: I mean like I don't I try to change my
Speaker 1: my language when I'm speaking, right. I love that that
Speaker 1: that sort of intention We talked about being intentional in
Speaker 1: off Assets of Life in the podcast, and it's like,
Speaker 1: I can be sick, right, but I would just say,
Speaker 1: you know, I came down with a cold, or you know,
Speaker 1: I feel a little sick right now. I don't go
Speaker 1: around saying my sickness and rights a part of me.
Speaker 1: It's the thing I'm experiencing exactly. I love that. Okay. Um.
Speaker 1: When it comes to tactics to to sort of curb
Speaker 1: anxious behavior or feelings when they do arise, do you
Speaker 1: have go to things that you recommend other people try
Speaker 1: that might work. Sure? Yeah, I mean I'd be doing
Speaker 1: it all um. So meditation is one of the main
Speaker 1: things that I do. I do t M transcendental meditation,
Speaker 1: which is one of the easiest ones explain that to
Speaker 1: people who don't know. So it's the most effortless um
Speaker 1: meditation where they give you a mantra, I don't you
Speaker 1: know what, I'm not gonna say that because I don't
Speaker 1: know where this is gone. But they give you a
Speaker 1: mantra and um, you rehearse the mantra over and over
Speaker 1: in your head as you're quiet, and you're quiet time
Speaker 1: for twenty minutes, two times a day. Um. The mantra
Speaker 1: means absolutely nothing. It has nothing to do with spirituality anything,
Speaker 1: no religion anything. It means nothing. It's just something for
Speaker 1: you to focus on so that you are not focusing
Speaker 1: on other things. Now. With TM, you do have your thoughts,
Speaker 1: and what I love about that is they teach you
Speaker 1: that these thoughts are not bad. And I think what
Speaker 1: happens is a lot of especially a lot of people
Speaker 1: who struggle with anxiety, is that when you try to meditate,
Speaker 1: your thoughts are like a hundred I think you're failing.
Speaker 1: You're not failing, Like that's what happens when you're meditating.
Speaker 1: You're you're gonna have these thoughts, good or bad. It's
Speaker 1: just a matter of getting into the flow and learning
Speaker 1: how to not be so affected by these thoughts that come.
Speaker 1: They come and they go, They flow easy, like water,
Speaker 1: moving back and forth for like air. So that's what
Speaker 1: answer little meditation is and I often do that, especially
Speaker 1: in the height of what I'm feeling, like real frantic
Speaker 1: or struggling with my mortality or some kind of existential crisis,
Speaker 1: I do the t M. I mean, I don't keep
Speaker 1: it up and try to. I need to be more
Speaker 1: consistent with it. But especially when I'm doing bad or
Speaker 1: not doing bad, or when I'm having a struggling day,
Speaker 1: I'll do the tm. UM. What else do I do?
Speaker 1: I oftentimes do juice cleansing. I feel like that helps me.
Speaker 1: That does help me. UM for clarity, UM, and you
Speaker 1: don't get so hungry. I always want to do a cleansing.
Speaker 1: Always give up. I do, And I just finished doing
Speaker 1: Chevy UM, which was easier because she helps. She gives
Speaker 1: you like like you have you can eat like a
Speaker 1: salad and conteine or whatever, So it helps or something. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you and I have a little something. But it does
Speaker 1: give you a little clarity and make you feel lighter.
Speaker 1: So I you know, I do know that. You know
Speaker 1: anxiety does have a lot to do with your gut
Speaker 1: too as well. So I try to maintain what I'm
Speaker 1: eating and eat a little healthy UM. And I've cut
Speaker 1: back on drinking alcohol because I find that the next
Speaker 1: day I feel like shit, Especially when people who struggle
Speaker 1: with anxiety, you wake up the next day and you're like,
Speaker 1: I'm so depressed and I have no reason. I don't
Speaker 1: understand why I'm depressed. That anxiety That alcohol, it really
Speaker 1: is like they come down from that right Like people
Speaker 1: think of it only in a sense of like hard
Speaker 1: drugs or certain like drugs literally, but like any substance.
Speaker 1: And we've all been there. I have certainly had those
Speaker 1: experiences where I'm like, last night was fun, but today
Speaker 1: I'm like, what is the point of any of it?
Speaker 1: What is the point? Because yeah, your anxiety spikes regardless
Speaker 1: whether you feel like it's something you struggle with every
Speaker 1: day or or not. I have found that when I
Speaker 1: drink heavily the next morning, I would always just feel
Speaker 1: on edge and wired and just down. So I'm glad
Speaker 1: to hear you say that because it really normalizes the
Speaker 1: fact that, yeah, that that can't play a part in it.
Speaker 1: The substance. It really does. It really does. So I
Speaker 1: noticed that about myself, and that's another thing. You just
Speaker 1: gotta be honest with yourself and then start holding yourself accountable. Um,
Speaker 1: And you know, I know that we are having while
Speaker 1: we are having compassion for ourselves during our struggles with
Speaker 1: our mental health. We also have to be holding ourselves accountable. UM.
Speaker 1: And that's what I found that I had to start
Speaker 1: doing too. UM. And then, of course therapy, I sit
Speaker 1: on the couch every week. I don't I don't play
Speaker 1: those games, and I go and just leave everything there
Speaker 1: with my therapist. UM. Right now I'm looking for a
Speaker 1: male therapist. I feel like I want to be intentional
Speaker 1: about my therapy now, like my therapist was great, UM,
Speaker 1: But I don't have great relationships with men, and I'm
Speaker 1: just now rekindling my relationship with my father. So I
Speaker 1: feel like going and being intentional to by seeking out
Speaker 1: a male therapist will help me to get a little
Speaker 1: more trustworthy of men, especially black men. So I'm on
Speaker 1: the search for that. UM. But yes, I've been intentional
Speaker 1: about my therapy and intention about who's going to be
Speaker 1: nurturing me in therapy. UM. And I think that that's
Speaker 1: important for us to do to as well. UM. And
Speaker 1: then you know the breathing techniques and panic attack techniques.
Speaker 1: One is stuck on a limit that will take you, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it'll it'll ground you in a second. If you're starting
Speaker 1: to haven't. Yeah, because of the sourness. So if you're
Speaker 1: having a panic attack and one day try it, go
Speaker 1: on a limit because the limit you'll focus on the
Speaker 1: on the sourness. Right, I'm so to kind of ground
Speaker 1: you and bring you down cold water, walking back and forth,
Speaker 1: that kind of stuff. Yeah, how do you feel about
Speaker 1: caffeine coffee? You can't do that? Yeah, caffeine makes me
Speaker 1: feel like I don't snorted the whole line of cocaine
Speaker 1: all of us and listen I want. I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't like this, and it was like I remember
Speaker 1: going to sleep and feeling like I knew I would sleep,
Speaker 1: but I felt like I was up. So I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm never doing this ship again. So caffeine don't sit
Speaker 1: well with me, not even like a sip of PEPSI,
Speaker 1: I can't even do it. So if you're highly yeah,
Speaker 1: if you're like really really anxious or you know you
Speaker 1: have an anxiety, to sort of like cut the caffeine out,
Speaker 1: cut the caffeine out, cut the caffeine out that. That's
Speaker 1: a really good tip. Before we wrap up, I can
Speaker 1: talk to you forever. This is so fast. I know,
Speaker 1: I love talking to you so informative and just real
Speaker 1: and honest about everything, which is something I always respect
Speaker 1: and appreciate and try to be myself. Um. You know,
Speaker 1: as we talk about vulnerability and mental health in the stigma,
Speaker 1: I'm curious to know why, why why do you share
Speaker 1: as much as you share? Why are you so open?
Speaker 1: And was there ever a hesitation about being this open
Speaker 1: with such personal stuff? While I'll start from the Laddin
Speaker 1: in um, so um, always hesitation. There's always hesitation because
Speaker 1: of the shame that I have harbored during my struggle um,
Speaker 1: and then also not wanting to feel like a debbut
Speaker 1: down all the time. So that's why I always bring
Speaker 1: humor into my episodes a lot. And I'm always just like,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm just a ratchet, regular, decular girl who
Speaker 1: struggles with anxiety, you know. So I always like to,
Speaker 1: you know, make not make light of the situation, but
Speaker 1: also just just be a little more humorous in it
Speaker 1: so that it's more relatable. So I do struggle with
Speaker 1: it and being as open as I am because I
Speaker 1: don't want to seem like a Debbie downer. Um. And
Speaker 1: why I did it, it's because I just never so
Speaker 1: I didn't see anybody else doing it at the time.
Speaker 1: Now celebrities are doing it, and we are very appreciative
Speaker 1: of them, but of course they have the privilege of
Speaker 1: the audience and the marketing and the money behind them,
Speaker 1: whereas someone like myself is doing a whole thing by
Speaker 1: herself but has found this small community that's so loyal
Speaker 1: and they are just like, yo, we just want to
Speaker 1: hear what you gotta say. Please, can we just you know,
Speaker 1: can we email? Can we talk? And I can talk
Speaker 1: with them. I do want on ones with some people
Speaker 1: who are struggling with the person lization. So that that
Speaker 1: was to me. That's the reason why I'm doing it.
Speaker 1: For the people who just want to have someone that
Speaker 1: they can relate to, a peer to peer kind of thing.
Speaker 1: So UM and also for black women and black men.
Speaker 1: UM men have reached out to me, you know, and
Speaker 1: they don't see this situation. There was, you know, a
Speaker 1: black guy who was like he was going through DP
Speaker 1: and he's like, Yo, never have I seen anybody of
Speaker 1: any color talking about this, you know. So it's for them,
Speaker 1: and it's for me because it's healing for me to
Speaker 1: keep talking about it and to keep sharing UM and
Speaker 1: not keeping this stuff bottled up. So that's why I
Speaker 1: love it. I love it. I love in LaToya, I
Speaker 1: adore you. I'm like in love. Right now, I want
Speaker 1: to talk about where people can find you. But before
Speaker 1: we wrap up with that, UM, you do some guided breathwork.
Speaker 1: You're in a guided breath work, right, Okay? Can you
Speaker 1: take us through like just a short like a minute
Speaker 1: or less guided meditation that can help release some stress
Speaker 1: and anxiety maybe a little overthinking for us. Oh sure.
Speaker 1: So I always do the four a count, um, And
Speaker 1: that's inhale on the four account, and then you hold
Speaker 1: on the four a count and then you exhale on
Speaker 1: the four account, um. And it helps in anything when
Speaker 1: you stress in front of computer. It helps for panic
Speaker 1: attacks to um. So you take a deep breath in
Speaker 1: on the four hold four. You gotta count me in
Speaker 1: or something. I want to do it so we can
Speaker 1: start now, okay, So breathing on the floor, hold it
Speaker 1: and then exhale on the floor and then I usually
Speaker 1: roll my shoulders, roll my neck and if I needed
Speaker 1: one more time, we can do it again. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: start cracking bones. So y'all how you feeling? Do you
Speaker 1: want to do one more time breathing. Okay, one more
Speaker 1: inhale on the four account, hold it and an exhale
Speaker 1: on the four acount and then roll it out. This
Speaker 1: is reminding me that I need to give my life together.
Speaker 1: I need to get back my consistent meditation. Yes, so
Speaker 1: do I, girl, I need to get mine together. I'm
Speaker 1: not consistent either. That's the beauty of it all. You
Speaker 1: can do it. We always have tomorrow, God willing. So
Speaker 1: amen to that, Latia. If people want to reach out
Speaker 1: to you, go one on one with you, listen to
Speaker 1: your podcast, where can they find you? Okay? So my
Speaker 1: Instagram is the dot analog Girl. Um My Twitter is
Speaker 1: the Underscore Analog Girl, or you can go to my
Speaker 1: website at the analog Girl dot com. Why is the
Speaker 1: analog Well because I'm a nineties girl and I loved
Speaker 1: analog world, right and you know Eric bad said analog
Speaker 1: girl in the digital world, and so analog is like
Speaker 1: my foundation, my calm, my piece. You know, digital world
Speaker 1: is so fast paced, make you so anxious, and analog
Speaker 1: just calms you out zend out. That's how Yeah, this
Speaker 1: is like my favorite conversation of all time. Thank you,
Speaker 1: thank you so much, and I love being on your show.
Speaker 1: I'm so honored that you that you asked me. When
Speaker 1: I saw I was like grateful you said yes because
Speaker 1: you were dropping Jim's left and right. I'll be applying
Speaker 1: a lot of this too, so I so appreciate you.
Speaker 1: Thank you. I appreciate it. Happy didn't I tell you?
Speaker 1: Didn't I tell you? Did I not tell you? I
Speaker 1: told you you don't want to listen, But I told
Speaker 1: you and that was the truth. And now you know
Speaker 1: you can trust me. LaToya is amazing special. Thank you
Speaker 1: again to her for sharing her story and being so
Speaker 1: vulnerable and honest and real. Make sure y'all hit her up.
Speaker 1: And if you feel like that's something that you're struggling
Speaker 1: with when it comes to anxiety, and you feel like
Speaker 1: you would love the support that her network provides, go
Speaker 1: check it out, Go go sliding the d M s
Speaker 1: or hit her up or check out our podcast. Okay, now,
Speaker 1: before we head out, I want to share with you
Speaker 1: and iune interview from a lovely listener anger Barren shot.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry if I mispronounced it, but she says, best
Speaker 1: podcast for the modern woman. I love this new Zuri Venture.
Speaker 1: Always been a big fan since her early e days
Speaker 1: and single ladies YouTube video, and she brings her spirit
Speaker 1: and bright sparkle to this too. I love the great topics,
Speaker 1: which are not the typical light fluff often heard another podcasts,
Speaker 1: but real life issues and life decisions and no, it's
Speaker 1: not boring or tough to get through. Zuri makes it
Speaker 1: so fun and relatable by incorporating her own experiences and
Speaker 1: struggles into adulthood. Highly recommended. Thank you so much love
Speaker 1: for taking the time to leave a review. I appreciate it.
Speaker 1: I'm so glad you're enjoying it, UM, and a reminder
Speaker 1: to you listening that leaving a review on it. This
Speaker 1: is free, It's easy. It's the quickest way to support
Speaker 1: Hot Happy Mess. So if you like what you hear
Speaker 1: and you want to keep hearing it to be straight up,
Speaker 1: oh grab, then I'm an easily review I'm just kidding.
Speaker 1: I don't need it, no pressure, but I would appreciate it.
Speaker 1: And it does show, UM, show that people are vibing
Speaker 1: with Hot Happy Mess and what we're creating here. The
Speaker 1: community is growing, the podcast is growing, and that just
Speaker 1: warms my heart, makes me feel so good. I love
Speaker 1: reading all of your messages. I see all of your comments. Um,
Speaker 1: so hit me up. Um, if you want to leave
Speaker 1: a review, you can do that. Go to Apple podcast
Speaker 1: type and Hot Happy Mess Girl down and write the review.
Speaker 1: Slide in my d M s at Zuri hall z
Speaker 1: u r I h A L l or at Hot
Speaker 1: Happy mess Um. I love to talk to y'all. I
Speaker 1: see everything, even if I don't have time to respond
Speaker 1: to everything, and I love getting your messages. So shoot
Speaker 1: me one. Yeah. Oh, and can you do me a
Speaker 1: huge favor, super fast, super easy. If you could just
Speaker 1: like tell a friend or tell your mama, tweet your mutuals,
Speaker 1: tell them to listen to Hot Happy mess Okay, if
Speaker 1: you could just share us on Instagram, Facebook spam maybe
Speaker 1: not spam Loki spam um, and just tell the people
Speaker 1: that they should be getting their hot Happy mess on
Speaker 1: and takasan social you would be a real one. And
Speaker 1: I want to repost you and all of your love.
Speaker 1: So that's it for me this week. Come back next
Speaker 1: week when we are getting into another wellness conversation. We
Speaker 1: are talking about it all, y'all. Astrology, horror scopes. I'm
Speaker 1: a Gemini in case you cann't tell meditation any Grahams
Speaker 1: all of the things, and if there's something you think
Speaker 1: we should dive into this series or that you think
Speaker 1: will be fun to talk about. Let me know. If
Speaker 1: you feel like you're a real woman with a real
Speaker 1: story and you want to be on the podcast. Let
Speaker 1: me know. If you feel like you know somebody who
Speaker 1: should be that woman, let me know. The theme is
Speaker 1: let me know, all right, I'll see you all next week.
Speaker 1: In the meantime, stay blessed. I'm sending love and light
Speaker 1: and I'll talk to you next week. Bye bye, bye,
Speaker 1: bye bye.