1 00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:12,280 Speaker 1: Hot, happy mess celebrate your magic in the middle of 2 00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:20,479 Speaker 1: life's messes. Hot happy. I'm serial and this is hot 3 00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:26,880 Speaker 1: happy made shoot. What is of a happy Monday? We 4 00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:30,240 Speaker 1: are back at it again. It is the dog days 5 00:00:30,240 --> 00:00:35,240 Speaker 1: of summer and it's hot. It's really hot, guys, it's hot. 6 00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:38,639 Speaker 1: I can I'll beat that. Jack's please beat that. I'm 7 00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:43,120 Speaker 1: sorry that was intense. You just got here. Stay please 8 00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:46,920 Speaker 1: Look my house is in the valley and it's hot here. 9 00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:49,280 Speaker 1: It's like ten degrees hotter than the rest of Los Angeles, 10 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:53,000 Speaker 1: which I technically love but sometimes don't, especially when I'm podcasting, 11 00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:56,520 Speaker 1: because this office is not the coolest situation. And I 12 00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:58,360 Speaker 1: really need to get the A C checked out because 13 00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:01,800 Speaker 1: I don't think it's working anyways. I need a vacation 14 00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:07,120 Speaker 1: and I'm planning to escape. Um. I'm going to Barbados 15 00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:09,440 Speaker 1: at the end. Uh you know. I'm going to Barbados 16 00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:12,759 Speaker 1: in September, which I'm really excited about, um because my 17 00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:15,640 Speaker 1: best friend is getting married and I'm a native honor 18 00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:19,840 Speaker 1: High Julie. And before that, we're going to turn up 19 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:25,560 Speaker 1: in Miami for the bachelorette party being veni Osamimi. So 20 00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:27,120 Speaker 1: if you all know what we should do, or if 21 00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:30,080 Speaker 1: you have any suggestions while I'm there, slide in my 22 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:32,880 Speaker 1: d m s with a debauchery. Cool cool. Okay, So 23 00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:35,479 Speaker 1: last week we had the first part of our anxiety 24 00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:38,759 Speaker 1: episode with our expert Dr Alicia, and if you haven't 25 00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:42,280 Speaker 1: listened to that episode, go do it. She dropped a 26 00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:45,760 Speaker 1: lot of gems on how to identify anxiety, how to 27 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:48,920 Speaker 1: manage it, cope with it, how to support someone if 28 00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:51,440 Speaker 1: you have a loved one or friend or a family member, 29 00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:55,440 Speaker 1: maybe a child or a parent who's dealing with it. Um. 30 00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:57,680 Speaker 1: So it's a really great one, so go check it out. 31 00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:01,320 Speaker 1: And today we've got part you, baby. We have one 32 00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:04,800 Speaker 1: of what is now one of my favorite Real Woman, 33 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:08,600 Speaker 1: Real Story spotlights EVA, where I am talking with a 34 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:14,760 Speaker 1: super amazing, awesome, hilarious dope, LaToya Newton, who is just 35 00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:18,240 Speaker 1: just dropping wisdom left and right. She's sharing her personal 36 00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:22,160 Speaker 1: story with anxiety and why she created an amazing support 37 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:26,080 Speaker 1: network for others who might be dealing with it, yourself included. 38 00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:31,800 Speaker 1: So you're gonna love the conversation. Here's LaToya. All right, y'all. 39 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:35,720 Speaker 1: For today's Real Woman, Real Story, we have LaToya D. Newton. 40 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:39,760 Speaker 1: She is a quintessential Bronx girl. She describes herself as 41 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:42,880 Speaker 1: a healthy mix of Cardi b and Lena James. If 42 00:02:42,919 --> 00:02:47,160 Speaker 1: you know, you know, I love it. Uh. She's the 43 00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:50,560 Speaker 1: post of her own podcast, The Analog Girl, and LaToya 44 00:02:50,639 --> 00:02:54,040 Speaker 1: shares her experiences with anxiety and her journey through recovery 45 00:02:54,080 --> 00:02:57,560 Speaker 1: to emotional wellness. When LaToya is not raising awareness about 46 00:02:57,600 --> 00:03:01,079 Speaker 1: anxiety as an advocate for Mental Wealth, a relaxing day 47 00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:05,400 Speaker 1: for her is laughing at ridiculous mimes Instagram or watching 48 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:07,800 Speaker 1: episodes of a Different World. Sign me up for either 49 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:10,840 Speaker 1: one of them. This way, I'm down. It is my 50 00:03:10,919 --> 00:03:14,680 Speaker 1: favorite thing to do. Honestly, thank you so much for 51 00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:18,480 Speaker 1: joining me today. I'm really excited to have you sort 52 00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:21,560 Speaker 1: of open up to our listeners from a real woman perspective, 53 00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:23,960 Speaker 1: because you know, we have an expert on this episode, 54 00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:27,720 Speaker 1: and we all have dealt with various forms of anxiety, 55 00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:30,679 Speaker 1: some stronger than others. Um but especially coming out of 56 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:33,880 Speaker 1: the pandemic, I think more people than ever have had 57 00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:39,080 Speaker 1: triggering events myself included that I hadn't experienced before what 58 00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:42,120 Speaker 1: was for a lot of us. Um So I love 59 00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:44,760 Speaker 1: if you could just dive in by sharing your personal 60 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:48,600 Speaker 1: journey with anxiety. UM, tell us your story. How did 61 00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:50,560 Speaker 1: you get to a place where you realize this is 62 00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:52,680 Speaker 1: something that I've I've got to figure out or get 63 00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:56,080 Speaker 1: a hold on. Sure. So, UM, I think it all 64 00:03:56,160 --> 00:04:00,160 Speaker 1: hit the fan from me. In two thousand and eighteen, UM, 65 00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:03,640 Speaker 1: I started to struggle with something called the personalization UM. 66 00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:06,480 Speaker 1: And for people who don't know what that is, it's UM. 67 00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:09,280 Speaker 1: It's a symptom of anxiety UM. And it makes you 68 00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:12,800 Speaker 1: feel like you are living in an altered reality, or 69 00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:15,640 Speaker 1: like you're in a dream world, or you're kind of 70 00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:18,720 Speaker 1: disassociated and disconnected from your body and you're feeling very 71 00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:23,720 Speaker 1: disconnected from people and even your atmosphere. UM. So I 72 00:04:23,839 --> 00:04:27,680 Speaker 1: woke up March first feeling like that, and I just 73 00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:29,800 Speaker 1: thought the world was coming to it and I thought 74 00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:32,440 Speaker 1: I was dying. I thought I thought I was in purgatory. 75 00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:34,839 Speaker 1: I don't know what the hell was going on, not purgector. 76 00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:37,359 Speaker 1: I was like, well is it pergectory? Child? Like, I 77 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,240 Speaker 1: don't know what this is. And I just kept saying 78 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:41,839 Speaker 1: to my mom, like, yo, I feel weird, like what's 79 00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:43,719 Speaker 1: going on. I didn't know what was going on, so 80 00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:47,440 Speaker 1: I'm like wow. So UM, I started to go to 81 00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:50,159 Speaker 1: the emergency room. I was getting cat scans, I was 82 00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:53,720 Speaker 1: getting calmly. What did what did it feel like physically? 83 00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:55,000 Speaker 1: Like what made you feel like I need to go 84 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:58,160 Speaker 1: to the hospital. I just didn't feel real like I 85 00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:00,040 Speaker 1: I can't. It's the only way I can explain. And 86 00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:03,520 Speaker 1: if you google the personalization UM, you'll see that that 87 00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:05,760 Speaker 1: is one of the things, like you just don't feel 88 00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:09,560 Speaker 1: real like your body. You feel completely disconnected from your body. 89 00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:11,680 Speaker 1: So like I would look in the mirror and I 90 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:15,200 Speaker 1: would see myself, but it was like it wasn't um connecting. 91 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:18,320 Speaker 1: So it was just very It's a very strange feeling. 92 00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:21,760 Speaker 1: And it's just um, a symptom of anxiety, like I said, 93 00:05:21,839 --> 00:05:24,320 Speaker 1: and it just comes from being in a place of 94 00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:27,120 Speaker 1: chronic fear or heightened fear. So my body had went 95 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:30,680 Speaker 1: into a fight or flight um uh feeling, you know 96 00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:32,680 Speaker 1: what I mean. Like, so I prior to that had 97 00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:36,400 Speaker 1: a panic attack. I was having panic attacks. And then um, 98 00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:38,919 Speaker 1: I also smoked some weed, you know, I tried to 99 00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:40,680 Speaker 1: do I'll be trying to be like other people. I 100 00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:43,640 Speaker 1: need to chill because because weed is not for me. 101 00:05:43,839 --> 00:05:46,160 Speaker 1: And I actually had one of those nights like like 102 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:49,160 Speaker 1: smokey on Friday, like when he was running in the streets, 103 00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:52,560 Speaker 1: that was out in the middle of Harlem, out there 104 00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:56,640 Speaker 1: while out rushed to the hospital. It's a very funny story. 105 00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:59,279 Speaker 1: That's actually an episode on my podcast, and you go 106 00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:02,280 Speaker 1: back unless into the full story. Okay, yeah, so that's 107 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:08,320 Speaker 1: a long one. So short story long or long story short. UM. 108 00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:13,919 Speaker 1: I started to have panic attacks after tweaking UM and UM. 109 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:16,159 Speaker 1: I think that the panic attacks would cause me to 110 00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:18,400 Speaker 1: go into the depersonalization. So a lot of people do 111 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:22,039 Speaker 1: experience depersonalization after having a bad reaction to weed. There's 112 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:24,400 Speaker 1: a lot of people out there, and sometimes it just 113 00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:26,719 Speaker 1: happens from people who are just going through some trauma 114 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:31,520 Speaker 1: or any kind of um UM long term anxiety that 115 00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:34,000 Speaker 1: they have gone through. So it's it's or or brain 116 00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:36,840 Speaker 1: or trauma. Brain trauma. Brain injury can bring this along 117 00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:39,200 Speaker 1: too as well, so it's a lot of different ways 118 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:42,839 Speaker 1: to experience it. So that's what happened to me. UM 119 00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:45,919 Speaker 1: and I just decided like I hated the feeling. I 120 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:47,880 Speaker 1: didn't like being on the train and not known what 121 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:49,800 Speaker 1: I just everything was weird. I was scared to come 122 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:52,280 Speaker 1: out of my room. I was scared to walk outside. 123 00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:56,559 Speaker 1: I was scared to um, um, look beyond the train 124 00:06:56,640 --> 00:06:58,960 Speaker 1: and was looking around and everything just seemed so familiar. 125 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:00,440 Speaker 1: It was like I was on a whole another planet. 126 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:04,920 Speaker 1: It's just for weird fucking things, very bizarre. And so 127 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:07,120 Speaker 1: I was like, yo, I don't want to feel like this. 128 00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:09,359 Speaker 1: What can I do? And then I just started googling. 129 00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:11,640 Speaker 1: You know, when we're not feeling good, we always webin 130 00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:16,680 Speaker 1: d we all come profession yeah, we all become professional doctors. 131 00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:19,560 Speaker 1: And so I just started to do my research and 132 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:21,760 Speaker 1: was figuring out that there was a community of people 133 00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:26,160 Speaker 1: out there. I wasn't noticing any black people, um, and 134 00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:28,400 Speaker 1: I'm like, yo, where are the black folks? Like, somebody 135 00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:29,960 Speaker 1: else got to be going through this ship. It can't 136 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:32,080 Speaker 1: just be all white people in the UK, because that's 137 00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:35,640 Speaker 1: what I kept finding. But this British Yeah, I was like, 138 00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:37,720 Speaker 1: is this a British thing? Like what it is? It's 139 00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:42,600 Speaker 1: like like so um, So yeah, I started to do 140 00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:45,040 Speaker 1: my research. Um, I started to figure out. I got 141 00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:46,560 Speaker 1: to the point when I was like, okay, so this 142 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:48,800 Speaker 1: is anxiety, so boom check it. This is what we're 143 00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:50,800 Speaker 1: gonna do. I'm gonna figure this out. What do I 144 00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:52,920 Speaker 1: gotta do to like just lower my anxiety. How do 145 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:55,920 Speaker 1: I try to, um, you know, heal this or recover 146 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:58,880 Speaker 1: from this? And so I, you know, started teaching myself tools. 147 00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:02,760 Speaker 1: I found books, I found people. I started analog girl. UM, 148 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:04,600 Speaker 1: I was in the talks at that time with a 149 00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:08,520 Speaker 1: network with actually loudspeaker, UM to have my own podcast. There. 150 00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:10,600 Speaker 1: Blew that ship in the ground because I was I 151 00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:16,680 Speaker 1: was so the personalized. My pilot was trash because you 152 00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:19,640 Speaker 1: just weren't even I was not there. I was, I don't, 153 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:22,880 Speaker 1: I was in outer space somewhere. I was gone. So UM, 154 00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:26,920 Speaker 1: I lost that opportunity. UM. And let me ask you this, 155 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:29,239 Speaker 1: just because I'm curious to know. Was there a triggering 156 00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:31,120 Speaker 1: event for you and only you know, share as much 157 00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:33,440 Speaker 1: as you're comfortable with or not. Was this something that 158 00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:35,160 Speaker 1: you dealt with off and on for years and twenty 159 00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:37,040 Speaker 1: eight team was just when it went to the next level? 160 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:39,559 Speaker 1: Or did it come out of nowhere? Not? Yeah? So 161 00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:43,319 Speaker 1: I remember my very first panic attack. I remember having 162 00:08:43,559 --> 00:08:48,720 Speaker 1: um my uh, sophomore year in college. I remember having 163 00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:51,280 Speaker 1: the panic attack but not really knowing what it was. 164 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:54,559 Speaker 1: And I think what triggered me And it's oddly it's 165 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:58,760 Speaker 1: so weird, is that, um Aaliyah dying because she was 166 00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:01,920 Speaker 1: so close an age with me. UM, I was very 167 00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:04,400 Speaker 1: traumatized by that, Like I got really scared and started 168 00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:09,400 Speaker 1: to question more mortality at that point. So UM, Prior 169 00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:11,640 Speaker 1: to that, I had experienced trauma in my life and 170 00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:14,320 Speaker 1: I have a lot of things that have happened, but 171 00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:17,640 Speaker 1: I was able to, UM, you know, I guess sweep 172 00:09:17,679 --> 00:09:21,160 Speaker 1: that stuff under the rug. So when the when I 173 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:24,040 Speaker 1: started to have to be faced with mortality is when 174 00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:27,040 Speaker 1: I started to become really like, oh God, what does 175 00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:29,000 Speaker 1: this mean. I'm not I'm not gonna be on earth forever. 176 00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:32,240 Speaker 1: That stuff started to ruminating. Thoughts started to hap when 177 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:34,719 Speaker 1: Elia died. So I think that was the first time 178 00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:38,760 Speaker 1: I experienced a panic attack. UM. And then it happened again, 179 00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:42,160 Speaker 1: UM in my older age, when I've had friends, UM 180 00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:46,160 Speaker 1: who have more close to me that passed away. So UM, 181 00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:48,720 Speaker 1: I think that it's always been in my life, but 182 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:51,280 Speaker 1: it really hit the fan for me in two thousand 183 00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:53,440 Speaker 1: and eighteen, and I guess, you know, my body was 184 00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:55,800 Speaker 1: just like, Okay, enough, it's enough. You gotta figure this out, 185 00:09:56,080 --> 00:09:58,439 Speaker 1: you know. So I just started going to therapy. I 186 00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:02,120 Speaker 1: was reading up on stuff I started in a little girl. Uh, 187 00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:04,679 Speaker 1: you know, it was just working out and changing my diets. 188 00:10:04,679 --> 00:10:06,640 Speaker 1: So I was just trying to get myself together that way. 189 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:10,120 Speaker 1: Um and you know, and then people started coming to 190 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:12,400 Speaker 1: me saying, Yo, your story is crazy because I was 191 00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:14,559 Speaker 1: going through the same thing. Never had I seen a 192 00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:16,760 Speaker 1: black woman talk about this, so thank you, you know, 193 00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:18,720 Speaker 1: so it just helped me to move forward and keep 194 00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:23,480 Speaker 1: going telling my story. It's beautiful and amazing that you 195 00:10:23,559 --> 00:10:25,920 Speaker 1: have been able to take that part of your story 196 00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:28,880 Speaker 1: and really reclaim it, right like that could easily have 197 00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:31,480 Speaker 1: gripped you, taken ahold of you and become who you are. 198 00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:34,120 Speaker 1: But instead of that, it's how do I work with 199 00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:37,240 Speaker 1: this and help other people also, which is what I 200 00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:38,719 Speaker 1: want to get into, and just a little bit with 201 00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:41,800 Speaker 1: the analog girl. Um, but first just sort of diving 202 00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:43,800 Speaker 1: in for someone who may be listening and feeling like 203 00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:46,160 Speaker 1: holds up, but she's explaining it sounds a lot like 204 00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:48,880 Speaker 1: what I'm going through right now. What what all did 205 00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:51,959 Speaker 1: that feel like? Not even in those um specific moments 206 00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:54,280 Speaker 1: where maybe you were having an obvious panic attack or 207 00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:57,160 Speaker 1: anxiety attack, but just your day to day, your career, 208 00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:59,640 Speaker 1: you were a project manager at the time when you 209 00:10:59,679 --> 00:11:01,120 Speaker 1: were dealing in with a lot of this, right, how 210 00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:05,640 Speaker 1: did that affect your work? To fight me? So I 211 00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:09,559 Speaker 1: don't know how to what How long you got? Like 212 00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:11,960 Speaker 1: how long you got? When I tell you, I mean 213 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:14,960 Speaker 1: I went through the wringer when it comes what were 214 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:17,960 Speaker 1: you doing that? Whatening? It looked like a damn deer 215 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:19,880 Speaker 1: and headlights in the middle of that. And in the meeting, 216 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:22,360 Speaker 1: like I don't know what the funk they're saying to me, 217 00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:24,760 Speaker 1: like you know what I'm saying. And as a project manager, 218 00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:26,800 Speaker 1: you gotta like be on your p's and ques and 219 00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:30,000 Speaker 1: really like I was losting the source. I remember talking 220 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,040 Speaker 1: to one guy and in the meeting, I was just like, 221 00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:34,000 Speaker 1: you know, I just don't feel reel so that he 222 00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:36,120 Speaker 1: was giving me the face like he did not back 223 00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:40,200 Speaker 1: and what he was like backing U away from me, 224 00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:42,080 Speaker 1: Like I don't know what then, And I was the 225 00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:45,840 Speaker 1: only black girl, so of course they like don't let 226 00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:47,960 Speaker 1: in and that and just don't know how to act 227 00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:53,680 Speaker 1: place now like you know, in the first place, yeah, 228 00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:56,600 Speaker 1: just got there, had just got there, so you know, 229 00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:58,920 Speaker 1: it was crazy and I laughed about it now, but 230 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:01,920 Speaker 1: I was just really bucking out. I was really bugging 231 00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:05,120 Speaker 1: out and um so I remember even one day, like 232 00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:07,960 Speaker 1: the vice president president, she was like, we need to 233 00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:09,960 Speaker 1: have a one on one because like you're not producing 234 00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:12,320 Speaker 1: any work. Like I literally was coming to work and 235 00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:14,640 Speaker 1: just sitting there staring like I don't know what the 236 00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:18,439 Speaker 1: funk I'm doing. I don't understand anything. Because also to 237 00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:22,320 Speaker 1: like I was still going on and I was having 238 00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:25,920 Speaker 1: all these existential crises thoughts, like thinking I was dead 239 00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:28,640 Speaker 1: or was gonna die or was dying. It was just 240 00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:32,600 Speaker 1: so crazy. And then at the same time, I had 241 00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:36,600 Speaker 1: another friend who was close to me die um suddenly 242 00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:39,200 Speaker 1: after we had just went to Essence Festival, so like 243 00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:44,360 Speaker 1: that was all compounded into one. And so she pulled 244 00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:46,080 Speaker 1: me in for the one on one and I was 245 00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:49,439 Speaker 1: crying like crazy, just tell her how I don't know 246 00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:51,400 Speaker 1: what's going on with me, like I really, and she 247 00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:53,480 Speaker 1: says she was gonna give me a chance, and like 248 00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:56,440 Speaker 1: I'll give you a month. And she didn't advocate for me. 249 00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:59,720 Speaker 1: Hr didn't give a fuck, Like they was just like whatever, 250 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:02,080 Speaker 1: And and did you you told them you felt like 251 00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:03,440 Speaker 1: it was a yeah, I felt like it was a 252 00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:05,960 Speaker 1: mental health thing. She they didn't offer me no help, 253 00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:09,240 Speaker 1: no services. They just basically clowned me. They was talking 254 00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:12,160 Speaker 1: about me. Um. They would go getting their little clicks 255 00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:14,600 Speaker 1: and laugh at me, and I knew they was, but 256 00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:16,360 Speaker 1: at that point I was just like, I mean, I'm 257 00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:18,040 Speaker 1: used to getting tease and all that kind of ship. 258 00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:20,960 Speaker 1: So I was just like whatever, you know, like I 259 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,800 Speaker 1: gotta just figure out what the hell is going on. 260 00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:25,320 Speaker 1: And then finally she was like, yeah, we're gonna let 261 00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:28,000 Speaker 1: you go. So I was like, well, before you let 262 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:29,760 Speaker 1: me go, can I at least get two months pay? 263 00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:32,600 Speaker 1: Because like, you know, you guys, really I was telling 264 00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:35,520 Speaker 1: you about my mental health situation, and you guys laughed. 265 00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:37,400 Speaker 1: You thought I was you know, you thought it was 266 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:40,520 Speaker 1: a joke. And so they did. They gave me two 267 00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:44,160 Speaker 1: months pay. They old me nasty asses and microaggression and 268 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:49,040 Speaker 1: everything else. And I started to freelance and then I 269 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:50,600 Speaker 1: had a lot of free time, and that's how I 270 00:13:50,640 --> 00:13:53,160 Speaker 1: was able to you know, work on Analog Girl and 271 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:56,320 Speaker 1: like build that from the ground up, like asking realizing 272 00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:59,480 Speaker 1: that I blew to the opportunity without speaking. So that's 273 00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:02,640 Speaker 1: what happened, right, Yeah, Okay, I'm interested when you talk 274 00:14:02,679 --> 00:14:04,960 Speaker 1: about you know the fact that you raise your concerns 275 00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:08,120 Speaker 1: about your mental health to your colleagues, to your boss, 276 00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:11,679 Speaker 1: and then that kind of went unanswered and eventually it 277 00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:13,760 Speaker 1: kind of shot you in the foot, right. We want 278 00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:16,560 Speaker 1: to feel like we can have a safe space at 279 00:14:16,559 --> 00:14:18,240 Speaker 1: work to talk about our health if we show up 280 00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:20,080 Speaker 1: with a broken back or I need two weeks out 281 00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:23,880 Speaker 1: because I'm contagious or whatever. It's like, okay, but I've 282 00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:25,960 Speaker 1: even hesitated with that where I'm like, I need a 283 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:28,920 Speaker 1: mental health day and it's worse than if I was 284 00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:31,960 Speaker 1: sick or the flu or whatever it is. But the 285 00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:35,160 Speaker 1: hesitation comes in because you don't trust that people will 286 00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:39,120 Speaker 1: take that as seriously as we do the physical stuff. 287 00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:42,280 Speaker 1: So I'm curious to know what you would say to 288 00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:46,160 Speaker 1: someone who might be dealing with that hesitation for good reason, 289 00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:48,600 Speaker 1: because it doesn't always win end well to go to 290 00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:52,120 Speaker 1: your boss and say I need a mental health break. Okay, 291 00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:54,960 Speaker 1: so I really again, you know, I always have the 292 00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:57,600 Speaker 1: preface like I'm not a professional. Analog girl is not 293 00:14:57,720 --> 00:15:01,600 Speaker 1: a professional thing, okay. Always got to say analog girls 294 00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:04,600 Speaker 1: brought about to talk about my own personal experiences because 295 00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:08,720 Speaker 1: it helps to be relatable to other people. So I 296 00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:12,960 Speaker 1: don't think all the time it is it behooves you 297 00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:15,840 Speaker 1: to share it with your employer. I don't think so. 298 00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:19,560 Speaker 1: And I think that you have to know what You 299 00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:22,320 Speaker 1: gotta go test out what HR is about. What what 300 00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:24,840 Speaker 1: are there? What are what's important to them? You know 301 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:26,680 Speaker 1: what I mean? What are there? What are they stepped 302 00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:28,440 Speaker 1: there and put their neck out for you know what 303 00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:31,640 Speaker 1: I mean? And that organization, how do they feel about 304 00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:34,120 Speaker 1: you as a black person there, you know what I mean? 305 00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:37,000 Speaker 1: Or did they just start saying, oh, race to to 306 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,560 Speaker 1: health equity for black people or race to you know, 307 00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:42,440 Speaker 1: get fifty people of color in our organization and by 308 00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:45,160 Speaker 1: the year did they just start doing that? So you 309 00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:47,400 Speaker 1: have to evaluate that and see like how much do 310 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:50,440 Speaker 1: they really care about us? And then how much do 311 00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:54,840 Speaker 1: they really care about mental health? So I think that 312 00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:56,640 Speaker 1: you have to you know, engauge that and if you 313 00:15:56,680 --> 00:15:59,640 Speaker 1: have a relationship with your supervisor boss thing, yeah, I 314 00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:02,720 Speaker 1: would they bring it up otherwise I personally, if you 315 00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:05,560 Speaker 1: need that money and you need that job, start going 316 00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:09,240 Speaker 1: to therapy, start figuring out another job, Start figuring out 317 00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:13,160 Speaker 1: what your passion is um start figuring out your exit strategy. 318 00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:16,320 Speaker 1: Because if it is not, it's not helping you and 319 00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:19,200 Speaker 1: it's making you worse, and you also don't feel like 320 00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:21,440 Speaker 1: you have a support system there, then that's not a 321 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,840 Speaker 1: place for you to work. That's how I feel. So 322 00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:27,320 Speaker 1: by them letting me go was a blessing and I 323 00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:31,400 Speaker 1: felt so relieved on that day. I was ashamed, but 324 00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:33,840 Speaker 1: at the same time, I was like, you know what now, 325 00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:35,960 Speaker 1: it's like, now what now? Let me hit the ground 326 00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:38,960 Speaker 1: running and figure it out for myself. You know, like 327 00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:42,160 Speaker 1: I've been homeless before us I can do this, you 328 00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:44,000 Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. So I got into that mode. 329 00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:47,160 Speaker 1: Um So I do believe that sometimes if you do 330 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:49,240 Speaker 1: have that support system, you can say something, but then 331 00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:52,520 Speaker 1: sometimes you can't. Yeah, I appreciate you keeping it real 332 00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:55,240 Speaker 1: about it because honestly, that's how I feel. I would 333 00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:56,600 Speaker 1: love to get out here and be like, just go 334 00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:58,320 Speaker 1: to your boss, and that's what they're there for. In 335 00:16:58,480 --> 00:17:01,560 Speaker 1: h I learned a while go under different circumstances. That 336 00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:05,440 Speaker 1: is not what that's not a protect the company and 337 00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:08,600 Speaker 1: do what benefits the company. So because they will look 338 00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:11,640 Speaker 1: at you as a threat, that's exactly it. And then 339 00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:16,720 Speaker 1: their job oftentimes is to eliminate threats for the corporation. Um, 340 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:19,200 Speaker 1: but that that's that's a really good advice. You talk 341 00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:22,160 Speaker 1: about having a really good or strong support network. I'm 342 00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:24,160 Speaker 1: curious to know when you were going through the thick 343 00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:27,600 Speaker 1: of it, did your relationships suffer? And then also what 344 00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:29,719 Speaker 1: was the advice you got from family and friends. You know, 345 00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:32,720 Speaker 1: particularly in the black community, there's there's been traditionally so 346 00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:37,760 Speaker 1: much stigma around mental health, around therapy, around talking to people. 347 00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:40,320 Speaker 1: I grew up with the mindset of we don't we 348 00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:42,280 Speaker 1: just get we just get it done, we just keep 349 00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:44,480 Speaker 1: it moving, like we don't really do too much talking 350 00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:47,520 Speaker 1: about stuff. And I've had to grow out of that 351 00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:50,600 Speaker 1: and unlearned so many of those behaviors. What was that 352 00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:54,360 Speaker 1: like for you? Um? So, my mom, I'm a preacher's kid. 353 00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:56,919 Speaker 1: My mom is about that life with the Bible and 354 00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:59,760 Speaker 1: the prayer and the oil. Okay, and that's what let 355 00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:03,240 Speaker 1: me tell get that holy oil right now. My gretty 356 00:18:03,359 --> 00:18:06,000 Speaker 1: stayed with a bottle. Just be ready to get it 357 00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:09,000 Speaker 1: and listen. And I was like, I want you to 358 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,520 Speaker 1: get it because I don't know what the hell is 359 00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:12,720 Speaker 1: going on right now. Get the oil. As a matter 360 00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:18,439 Speaker 1: of fact, just that's my whole body and that ship. Okay. 361 00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:23,679 Speaker 1: Moisturized me. So my mom was definitely there for me. Um. 362 00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:25,679 Speaker 1: She was there for me from day one. She was 363 00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:27,720 Speaker 1: had to get into bed and sleeping me and rocked 364 00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:31,399 Speaker 1: me to sleep because I was so scared to fall asleep. UM. 365 00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:33,800 Speaker 1: My heart would be racing so bad. She would fill 366 00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:35,800 Speaker 1: my pulse in my hands and she would just start 367 00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:37,919 Speaker 1: praying and be like, you know, you gotta You're not 368 00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:39,679 Speaker 1: telling me to calm down, because she knew all the 369 00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:41,720 Speaker 1: right things to say, but she was just basically soothing 370 00:18:41,760 --> 00:18:45,040 Speaker 1: me and rocking me until I would fall asleep. And 371 00:18:45,119 --> 00:18:47,280 Speaker 1: my mom stayed with me about a week and then 372 00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:49,280 Speaker 1: she looked at me and she was like, it's time, 373 00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:52,800 Speaker 1: because now you have to get yourself through this. Um. 374 00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:55,199 Speaker 1: So my mom was just very supportive in that and 375 00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:59,720 Speaker 1: just um just nurturing me in that and then also 376 00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:02,840 Speaker 1: let you know she experienced something like this before too, 377 00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:05,640 Speaker 1: in her young in her younger age, UM, and how 378 00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:08,280 Speaker 1: she dealt with it. UM. I also had a friend 379 00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:10,199 Speaker 1: who came out to me and was like, Yo, I 380 00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:12,200 Speaker 1: was going through this all last year. I just never 381 00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:15,840 Speaker 1: said anything. So now I'm like what, Like I never 382 00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:18,520 Speaker 1: said nothing, Like I was telling any of everybody who 383 00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:21,680 Speaker 1: would listening because I wanted to know what was going on, 384 00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:23,720 Speaker 1: and I was just like, this is so crazy to me. 385 00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:26,919 Speaker 1: So you know, people just started to open up and 386 00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:29,040 Speaker 1: talk to me and tell me what they were going through, 387 00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:32,800 Speaker 1: um as far as relationships and now, listen, I was 388 00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:36,200 Speaker 1: in a situation ship he had to go because Snick 389 00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:42,040 Speaker 1: started having sex with other people immediately. I don't immediately, 390 00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:44,760 Speaker 1: because who got time to have sex when they think 391 00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:50,920 Speaker 1: they're dying? You know, I'm saying, so like that's a 392 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:53,800 Speaker 1: valid question, like who got talk for that? This ain't 393 00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:57,080 Speaker 1: the movies, like not really trying to survive, hello, because 394 00:19:57,080 --> 00:19:58,720 Speaker 1: you don't know those movies that they have to talk 395 00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:00,879 Speaker 1: to tomorrow or whatever. They middle the war, it was 396 00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:03,560 Speaker 1: fine time to you know, shoot at the club. Like nah, 397 00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:06,359 Speaker 1: I was not doing none of that. So you know, 398 00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:08,639 Speaker 1: he went on and was doing him and then he 399 00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:11,840 Speaker 1: wasn't believing me, and he was just in denial about 400 00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:14,080 Speaker 1: the whole thing, Like he was just looking at me like, so, 401 00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:16,320 Speaker 1: what do you mean you like? You know, because on 402 00:20:16,359 --> 00:20:18,840 Speaker 1: the outside I was looking like this. I was still 403 00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:21,399 Speaker 1: doing my face. I was like getting dressed, you know, 404 00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:25,000 Speaker 1: but I would be like, yo, I feel so crazy, right, now, 405 00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:28,520 Speaker 1: and he wasn't understanding that. So I wasn't mad at 406 00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:31,320 Speaker 1: him for doing that, you know, you know, so like 407 00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:34,520 Speaker 1: I was just like whatever. But I had to come 408 00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:36,840 Speaker 1: out of that situation because it was a situation ship 409 00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:39,000 Speaker 1: and it was stressing me out. So I started to 410 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:42,000 Speaker 1: remove all those stressors like life. I'm glad you brought 411 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:44,000 Speaker 1: that up, because I wanted to ask what did you 412 00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:46,160 Speaker 1: have to lose, what did you have to cut away? 413 00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:49,399 Speaker 1: What boundaries did you have to set to start that 414 00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:53,879 Speaker 1: journey to becoming healthier. Yeah, it was definitely the situation 415 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:57,320 Speaker 1: ship and knowing who I am and going to therapy 416 00:20:57,320 --> 00:21:01,199 Speaker 1: and starting to learn how I and even now I'm 417 00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:03,000 Speaker 1: I still and that's why I'm single now and get 418 00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:07,640 Speaker 1: myself together because I become the man I become. I 419 00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:09,960 Speaker 1: want that love so much, and you know, my daddy 420 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:13,320 Speaker 1: issues come up, and I want to be um loved. 421 00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:16,720 Speaker 1: So I become engrossed, you know, and I knew that 422 00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:19,120 Speaker 1: that was something that I had to just take take. 423 00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:21,640 Speaker 1: I had to come out of that um. So I 424 00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:25,879 Speaker 1: took that away. UM. I became more disciplined with my health. 425 00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:29,240 Speaker 1: I stopped drinking at the time because I was doing 426 00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:31,479 Speaker 1: a lot of heavy drinking, out of depression, out of 427 00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:33,040 Speaker 1: wanting to be loved, out of wanting to be in 428 00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:34,600 Speaker 1: a relationship, and this man was just all over the 429 00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:38,200 Speaker 1: place doing him um. And then also just not being 430 00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:41,480 Speaker 1: set in my career and my passion. I, UM, you know, 431 00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:46,359 Speaker 1: was just stuck. I was stuck. So I just started 432 00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:50,560 Speaker 1: to find ways of coming becoming unstuck, you know. And um, 433 00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:53,520 Speaker 1: removing all of those things from my life was helping 434 00:21:53,560 --> 00:22:00,359 Speaker 1: me to not be stuck anymore. You talked about what 435 00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:02,880 Speaker 1: you lost or not lost really, but what you let 436 00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:05,720 Speaker 1: go of so that you could get to a healthy place. 437 00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:08,280 Speaker 1: What did you gain? What did you add to your 438 00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:11,760 Speaker 1: lifestyle that helped you. Your faith was a part of that. Yeah, 439 00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:17,160 Speaker 1: absolutely absolutely, UM, I do believe that I became closer 440 00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:21,399 Speaker 1: with God in that situation. UM. I am definitely a 441 00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:23,600 Speaker 1: hood chick, you know what I'm saying. But I love Jesus. 442 00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:25,800 Speaker 1: I grew up in a church, born and raised, so 443 00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:28,560 Speaker 1: I knew what my foundation was. I know the scriptures, 444 00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:30,119 Speaker 1: I know the prayers, you know what I'm saying. I 445 00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:32,359 Speaker 1: know that God has a plan for my life, and 446 00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:34,359 Speaker 1: I know that He's always had his hand on my 447 00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:37,960 Speaker 1: life every time um, I was going through a situation. 448 00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:42,240 Speaker 1: So it was just like, uh, the second nature for 449 00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:44,320 Speaker 1: me to just go into prayer and start to figet 450 00:22:44,359 --> 00:22:47,280 Speaker 1: these things out and seek guidance and seek wisdom from him. 451 00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:49,800 Speaker 1: But it helped me to get closer. And it wasn't 452 00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:52,199 Speaker 1: when when I started to go back to church, the 453 00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:54,920 Speaker 1: way people were gravitating towards me and I wasn't even 454 00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:57,240 Speaker 1: speaking to them. It's when I realized, like, Okay, God, 455 00:22:57,320 --> 00:22:59,480 Speaker 1: you are guiding me. You are putting me in a 456 00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:02,760 Speaker 1: place where I must be fulfilling my purpose or calling 457 00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:05,400 Speaker 1: at some place the point of time by doing this. 458 00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:09,639 Speaker 1: So yes, spirituality has really really gotten me through. And 459 00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:12,040 Speaker 1: I talked about that often on the podcast and write 460 00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:14,639 Speaker 1: about it, you know, and give give the scriptures that 461 00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:17,560 Speaker 1: helped me. Yeah, was I'm curious, what's one of your 462 00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:21,560 Speaker 1: favorite scriptures? So Psalm's one sixteen where he says, I, I 463 00:23:21,119 --> 00:23:23,080 Speaker 1: I know you don't think I heard you, but I 464 00:23:23,119 --> 00:23:25,840 Speaker 1: heard your prayer. So I would listen to that old 465 00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:27,960 Speaker 1: Wait a minute, because that's gonna make me start getting 466 00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:30,480 Speaker 1: trio right now. I gotta chick. Look, you can cry 467 00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:35,000 Speaker 1: hold on because you know the Holy Spirit will come 468 00:23:35,119 --> 00:23:36,800 Speaker 1: right on end child, So let me bring it, let 469 00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:39,320 Speaker 1: me rein it on end. You gotta rein it in, 470 00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:44,240 Speaker 1: you know, because I you know, when you have the personalization, 471 00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:49,840 Speaker 1: you feel invisible. And so you know, I would listen 472 00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:52,399 Speaker 1: to that prayer and I mean, I'm sorry. I would 473 00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:55,119 Speaker 1: read that scripture and then I would say my prayers 474 00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:57,800 Speaker 1: and I'd be like, you know, that scripture gave me 475 00:23:57,880 --> 00:24:00,960 Speaker 1: confirmation that he was hearing my prayer and he was 476 00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:03,399 Speaker 1: going to bring me out of it. And so that 477 00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:07,320 Speaker 1: whole Psalms one sixteen is basically that saying, I hear 478 00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:10,439 Speaker 1: your prayer. I know that you're going through this battlefield 479 00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:12,800 Speaker 1: in your mind, but you are going to come out 480 00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:14,320 Speaker 1: of this. And not only are you going to come 481 00:24:14,359 --> 00:24:16,159 Speaker 1: out of this, but you're gonna come out of this 482 00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:19,040 Speaker 1: is pure gold. So that's what I will always focus 483 00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:26,240 Speaker 1: on with someone's sixteen. So yes, who, let's keep talk 484 00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:30,040 Speaker 1: about I love crying to last, Let's keep the lashes on. 485 00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:35,040 Speaker 1: But yes, yes, And I had a very um like 486 00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:38,120 Speaker 1: it was an experience at churchill like my pastor who 487 00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:41,320 Speaker 1: she's just recently passed away, but I was just sitting 488 00:24:41,359 --> 00:24:43,720 Speaker 1: by myself and I was going to church alone every 489 00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:47,160 Speaker 1: Sunday mine in my business like on and one day 490 00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:52,359 Speaker 1: she just was like, um, you excuse me question, were 491 00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:58,399 Speaker 1: you in black panther like excuse? I was like no. 492 00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:00,600 Speaker 1: She was like, but you know what, it's not even 493 00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:03,879 Speaker 1: that your look. She was like, I'm just grabbing and 494 00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:05,520 Speaker 1: this is her from the pulpit in the middle of 495 00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:11,520 Speaker 1: the service. Oh no, no, no. She stopped service and 496 00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:16,240 Speaker 1: was like, I'm just so drawn to you, and um, 497 00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:17,680 Speaker 1: she was are you remember here? And I was like, 498 00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:21,040 Speaker 1: not not yet. And she talked to me and then 499 00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:23,320 Speaker 1: she spoken to my life and you know, she was 500 00:25:23,359 --> 00:25:24,680 Speaker 1: just like, you know, well it ain't what kind of 501 00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:29,159 Speaker 1: forever is Jesus First, that's pretty funny, but that in 502 00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:32,400 Speaker 1: itself was God just saying I see you, and other 503 00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:35,840 Speaker 1: people see you. You're not invisible. So like that was 504 00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:39,880 Speaker 1: like the defining moment for me of coming out of 505 00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:43,520 Speaker 1: this personalization in this altered universe or wherever I was 506 00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:47,720 Speaker 1: living at the time. Spiritually, how long ago was that? 507 00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:50,560 Speaker 1: How recently was that? Um, that was too, that was 508 00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:53,160 Speaker 1: at the end. Now that was two thousand nineteen. So 509 00:25:53,359 --> 00:25:55,720 Speaker 1: I went through two thousand and eighteen, joined the church 510 00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:57,639 Speaker 1: at the end of two thousand eighteen, and that happened 511 00:25:57,640 --> 00:26:00,879 Speaker 1: when in two thousand nineteen, okay it you mentioned your 512 00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:04,760 Speaker 1: podcast on it you said something super interesting about not 513 00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:10,119 Speaker 1: saying my anxiety anymore. My anxiety tell me about that? 514 00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:12,880 Speaker 1: What does that mean? Why not that? Because it ain't mine? 515 00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:21,399 Speaker 1: I don't want that ship So yes, and I you know, 516 00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:24,960 Speaker 1: like I recently just finished writing a book, honestly, and 517 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:27,439 Speaker 1: I just had to go back and see where I 518 00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:29,840 Speaker 1: was still saying it like muscle work like mine. I 519 00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:31,520 Speaker 1: was like, nope, take that out, take that off, because 520 00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:33,440 Speaker 1: I don't want other people to say it and start 521 00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:37,399 Speaker 1: claiming ownership of it. So um, you know that was 522 00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:39,399 Speaker 1: in my mind, like why I keep saying mine, like 523 00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:41,760 Speaker 1: I own this thing. I don't own this, you know, 524 00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:44,280 Speaker 1: like anxiety is also always going to be a part 525 00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:46,359 Speaker 1: of our lives. It's a natural thing that happens. But 526 00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:48,919 Speaker 1: I don't own that, you know, I don't own that 527 00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:52,600 Speaker 1: our own peace, our own happiness, my happiness, my peace. 528 00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:54,480 Speaker 1: What do you refer to? Do you not refer to 529 00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:56,760 Speaker 1: it as at all? Or what I just say anxiety 530 00:26:57,119 --> 00:26:59,119 Speaker 1: or you know, like so you know today I'm not 531 00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:01,360 Speaker 1: I'm feeling a little just or you know, girl, I'll 532 00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:03,920 Speaker 1: be having a little anxiety sometimes or like not a 533 00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:06,159 Speaker 1: girl the way my anxiety set up. No, no, no, 534 00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:09,200 Speaker 1: I mean like I don't I try to change my 535 00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:12,159 Speaker 1: my language when I'm speaking, right. I love that that 536 00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:15,000 Speaker 1: that sort of intention We talked about being intentional in 537 00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:17,280 Speaker 1: off Assets of Life in the podcast, and it's like, 538 00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:19,640 Speaker 1: I can be sick, right, but I would just say, 539 00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:22,600 Speaker 1: you know, I came down with a cold, or you know, 540 00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:24,359 Speaker 1: I feel a little sick right now. I don't go 541 00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:28,760 Speaker 1: around saying my sickness and rights a part of me. 542 00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:34,560 Speaker 1: It's the thing I'm experiencing exactly. I love that. Okay. Um. 543 00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:37,399 Speaker 1: When it comes to tactics to to sort of curb 544 00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:41,080 Speaker 1: anxious behavior or feelings when they do arise, do you 545 00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:43,720 Speaker 1: have go to things that you recommend other people try 546 00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:47,320 Speaker 1: that might work. Sure? Yeah, I mean I'd be doing 547 00:27:47,359 --> 00:27:49,720 Speaker 1: it all um. So meditation is one of the main 548 00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:52,960 Speaker 1: things that I do. I do t M transcendental meditation, 549 00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:55,480 Speaker 1: which is one of the easiest ones explain that to 550 00:27:55,480 --> 00:27:59,040 Speaker 1: people who don't know. So it's the most effortless um 551 00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:02,520 Speaker 1: meditation where they give you a mantra, I don't you 552 00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:04,240 Speaker 1: know what, I'm not gonna say that because I don't 553 00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:05,679 Speaker 1: know where this is gone. But they give you a 554 00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:10,720 Speaker 1: mantra and um, you rehearse the mantra over and over 555 00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:13,600 Speaker 1: in your head as you're quiet, and you're quiet time 556 00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:17,000 Speaker 1: for twenty minutes, two times a day. Um. The mantra 557 00:28:17,080 --> 00:28:21,160 Speaker 1: means absolutely nothing. It has nothing to do with spirituality anything, 558 00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:24,159 Speaker 1: no religion anything. It means nothing. It's just something for 559 00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:27,480 Speaker 1: you to focus on so that you are not focusing 560 00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:31,439 Speaker 1: on other things. Now. With TM, you do have your thoughts, 561 00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:33,280 Speaker 1: and what I love about that is they teach you 562 00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:35,760 Speaker 1: that these thoughts are not bad. And I think what 563 00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:37,880 Speaker 1: happens is a lot of especially a lot of people 564 00:28:37,920 --> 00:28:40,320 Speaker 1: who struggle with anxiety, is that when you try to meditate, 565 00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:43,080 Speaker 1: your thoughts are like a hundred I think you're failing. 566 00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:45,720 Speaker 1: You're not failing, Like that's what happens when you're meditating. 567 00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:48,640 Speaker 1: You're you're gonna have these thoughts, good or bad. It's 568 00:28:48,680 --> 00:28:51,400 Speaker 1: just a matter of getting into the flow and learning 569 00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:54,760 Speaker 1: how to not be so affected by these thoughts that come. 570 00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:57,080 Speaker 1: They come and they go, They flow easy, like water, 571 00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:59,840 Speaker 1: moving back and forth for like air. So that's what 572 00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:03,520 Speaker 1: answer little meditation is and I often do that, especially 573 00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:05,840 Speaker 1: in the height of what I'm feeling, like real frantic 574 00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:09,680 Speaker 1: or struggling with my mortality or some kind of existential crisis, 575 00:29:10,320 --> 00:29:12,360 Speaker 1: I do the t M. I mean, I don't keep 576 00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:14,160 Speaker 1: it up and try to. I need to be more 577 00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:17,760 Speaker 1: consistent with it. But especially when I'm doing bad or 578 00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:20,440 Speaker 1: not doing bad, or when I'm having a struggling day, 579 00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:24,280 Speaker 1: I'll do the tm. UM. What else do I do? 580 00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:27,720 Speaker 1: I oftentimes do juice cleansing. I feel like that helps me. 581 00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:32,680 Speaker 1: That does help me. UM for clarity, UM, and you 582 00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:34,840 Speaker 1: don't get so hungry. I always want to do a cleansing. 583 00:29:35,120 --> 00:29:37,600 Speaker 1: Always give up. I do, And I just finished doing 584 00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:40,960 Speaker 1: Chevy UM, which was easier because she helps. She gives 585 00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:42,880 Speaker 1: you like like you have you can eat like a 586 00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:47,000 Speaker 1: salad and conteine or whatever, So it helps or something. Yeah, 587 00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:49,520 Speaker 1: you and I have a little something. But it does 588 00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:51,680 Speaker 1: give you a little clarity and make you feel lighter. 589 00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:54,080 Speaker 1: So I you know, I do know that. You know 590 00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:55,920 Speaker 1: anxiety does have a lot to do with your gut 591 00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:59,040 Speaker 1: too as well. So I try to maintain what I'm 592 00:29:59,040 --> 00:30:02,040 Speaker 1: eating and eat a little healthy UM. And I've cut 593 00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:04,520 Speaker 1: back on drinking alcohol because I find that the next 594 00:30:04,640 --> 00:30:08,760 Speaker 1: day I feel like shit, Especially when people who struggle 595 00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:11,880 Speaker 1: with anxiety, you wake up the next day and you're like, 596 00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:13,880 Speaker 1: I'm so depressed and I have no reason. I don't 597 00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:18,520 Speaker 1: understand why I'm depressed. That anxiety That alcohol, it really 598 00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:21,880 Speaker 1: is like they come down from that right Like people 599 00:30:21,960 --> 00:30:23,960 Speaker 1: think of it only in a sense of like hard 600 00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:27,640 Speaker 1: drugs or certain like drugs literally, but like any substance. 601 00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:29,400 Speaker 1: And we've all been there. I have certainly had those 602 00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:32,200 Speaker 1: experiences where I'm like, last night was fun, but today 603 00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:34,360 Speaker 1: I'm like, what is the point of any of it? 604 00:30:34,360 --> 00:30:39,240 Speaker 1: What is the point? Because yeah, your anxiety spikes regardless 605 00:30:39,240 --> 00:30:41,160 Speaker 1: whether you feel like it's something you struggle with every 606 00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:44,520 Speaker 1: day or or not. I have found that when I 607 00:30:44,640 --> 00:30:48,880 Speaker 1: drink heavily the next morning, I would always just feel 608 00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:52,600 Speaker 1: on edge and wired and just down. So I'm glad 609 00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:55,520 Speaker 1: to hear you say that because it really normalizes the 610 00:30:55,560 --> 00:30:58,000 Speaker 1: fact that, yeah, that that can't play a part in it. 611 00:30:58,080 --> 00:31:01,280 Speaker 1: The substance. It really does. It really does. So I 612 00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:03,480 Speaker 1: noticed that about myself, and that's another thing. You just 613 00:31:03,520 --> 00:31:07,000 Speaker 1: gotta be honest with yourself and then start holding yourself accountable. Um, 614 00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:09,240 Speaker 1: And you know, I know that we are having while 615 00:31:09,280 --> 00:31:12,480 Speaker 1: we are having compassion for ourselves during our struggles with 616 00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:16,480 Speaker 1: our mental health. We also have to be holding ourselves accountable. UM. 617 00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:18,440 Speaker 1: And that's what I found that I had to start 618 00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:21,400 Speaker 1: doing too. UM. And then, of course therapy, I sit 619 00:31:21,480 --> 00:31:23,560 Speaker 1: on the couch every week. I don't I don't play 620 00:31:23,600 --> 00:31:26,080 Speaker 1: those games, and I go and just leave everything there 621 00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:29,320 Speaker 1: with my therapist. UM. Right now I'm looking for a 622 00:31:29,360 --> 00:31:32,160 Speaker 1: male therapist. I feel like I want to be intentional 623 00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:35,920 Speaker 1: about my therapy now, like my therapist was great, UM, 624 00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:38,880 Speaker 1: But I don't have great relationships with men, and I'm 625 00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:42,360 Speaker 1: just now rekindling my relationship with my father. So I 626 00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:46,520 Speaker 1: feel like going and being intentional to by seeking out 627 00:31:46,520 --> 00:31:48,680 Speaker 1: a male therapist will help me to get a little 628 00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:52,600 Speaker 1: more trustworthy of men, especially black men. So I'm on 629 00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:56,000 Speaker 1: the search for that. UM. But yes, I've been intentional 630 00:31:56,040 --> 00:31:58,600 Speaker 1: about my therapy and intention about who's going to be 631 00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:01,600 Speaker 1: nurturing me in therapy. UM. And I think that that's 632 00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:04,560 Speaker 1: important for us to do to as well. UM. And 633 00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:09,480 Speaker 1: then you know the breathing techniques and panic attack techniques. 634 00:32:09,760 --> 00:32:14,160 Speaker 1: One is stuck on a limit that will take you, Yeah, 635 00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:18,200 Speaker 1: it'll it'll ground you in a second. If you're starting 636 00:32:18,280 --> 00:32:22,080 Speaker 1: to haven't. Yeah, because of the sourness. So if you're 637 00:32:22,160 --> 00:32:24,920 Speaker 1: having a panic attack and one day try it, go 638 00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:26,800 Speaker 1: on a limit because the limit you'll focus on the 639 00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:29,800 Speaker 1: on the sourness. Right, I'm so to kind of ground 640 00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:32,520 Speaker 1: you and bring you down cold water, walking back and forth, 641 00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:34,520 Speaker 1: that kind of stuff. Yeah, how do you feel about 642 00:32:34,560 --> 00:32:37,960 Speaker 1: caffeine coffee? You can't do that? Yeah, caffeine makes me 643 00:32:37,960 --> 00:32:40,800 Speaker 1: feel like I don't snorted the whole line of cocaine 644 00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:46,479 Speaker 1: all of us and listen I want. I was like, 645 00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:48,920 Speaker 1: I don't like this, and it was like I remember 646 00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:51,600 Speaker 1: going to sleep and feeling like I knew I would sleep, 647 00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:52,920 Speaker 1: but I felt like I was up. So I was like, 648 00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:55,520 Speaker 1: I'm never doing this ship again. So caffeine don't sit 649 00:32:55,560 --> 00:32:57,320 Speaker 1: well with me, not even like a sip of PEPSI, 650 00:32:57,440 --> 00:33:00,840 Speaker 1: I can't even do it. So if you're highly yeah, 651 00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:03,600 Speaker 1: if you're like really really anxious or you know you 652 00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:06,360 Speaker 1: have an anxiety, to sort of like cut the caffeine out, 653 00:33:07,120 --> 00:33:09,760 Speaker 1: cut the caffeine out, cut the caffeine out that. That's 654 00:33:09,760 --> 00:33:11,719 Speaker 1: a really good tip. Before we wrap up, I can 655 00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:13,520 Speaker 1: talk to you forever. This is so fast. I know, 656 00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:17,400 Speaker 1: I love talking to you so informative and just real 657 00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:20,000 Speaker 1: and honest about everything, which is something I always respect 658 00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:22,760 Speaker 1: and appreciate and try to be myself. Um. You know, 659 00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:27,040 Speaker 1: as we talk about vulnerability and mental health in the stigma, 660 00:33:27,320 --> 00:33:32,200 Speaker 1: I'm curious to know why, why why do you share 661 00:33:32,600 --> 00:33:35,080 Speaker 1: as much as you share? Why are you so open? 662 00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:38,680 Speaker 1: And was there ever a hesitation about being this open 663 00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:42,920 Speaker 1: with such personal stuff? While I'll start from the Laddin 664 00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:49,800 Speaker 1: in um, so um, always hesitation. There's always hesitation because 665 00:33:49,880 --> 00:33:54,400 Speaker 1: of the shame that I have harbored during my struggle um, 666 00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:58,680 Speaker 1: and then also not wanting to feel like a debbut 667 00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:00,880 Speaker 1: down all the time. So that's why I always bring 668 00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:03,920 Speaker 1: humor into my episodes a lot. And I'm always just like, 669 00:34:03,960 --> 00:34:06,240 Speaker 1: you know, I'm just a ratchet, regular, decular girl who 670 00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:09,359 Speaker 1: struggles with anxiety, you know. So I always like to, 671 00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:12,080 Speaker 1: you know, make not make light of the situation, but 672 00:34:12,160 --> 00:34:14,880 Speaker 1: also just just be a little more humorous in it 673 00:34:15,160 --> 00:34:18,839 Speaker 1: so that it's more relatable. So I do struggle with 674 00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:21,480 Speaker 1: it and being as open as I am because I 675 00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:24,560 Speaker 1: don't want to seem like a Debbie downer. Um. And 676 00:34:24,640 --> 00:34:27,600 Speaker 1: why I did it, it's because I just never so 677 00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:29,879 Speaker 1: I didn't see anybody else doing it at the time. 678 00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:33,960 Speaker 1: Now celebrities are doing it, and we are very appreciative 679 00:34:34,040 --> 00:34:37,160 Speaker 1: of them, but of course they have the privilege of 680 00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:41,120 Speaker 1: the audience and the marketing and the money behind them, 681 00:34:41,400 --> 00:34:44,680 Speaker 1: whereas someone like myself is doing a whole thing by 682 00:34:44,680 --> 00:34:49,200 Speaker 1: herself but has found this small community that's so loyal 683 00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:51,640 Speaker 1: and they are just like, yo, we just want to 684 00:34:51,640 --> 00:34:54,480 Speaker 1: hear what you gotta say. Please, can we just you know, 685 00:34:54,560 --> 00:34:56,680 Speaker 1: can we email? Can we talk? And I can talk 686 00:34:56,719 --> 00:34:58,760 Speaker 1: with them. I do want on ones with some people 687 00:34:58,760 --> 00:35:02,200 Speaker 1: who are struggling with the person lization. So that that 688 00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:04,760 Speaker 1: was to me. That's the reason why I'm doing it. 689 00:35:04,960 --> 00:35:07,600 Speaker 1: For the people who just want to have someone that 690 00:35:07,640 --> 00:35:10,120 Speaker 1: they can relate to, a peer to peer kind of thing. 691 00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:13,839 Speaker 1: So UM and also for black women and black men. 692 00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:16,839 Speaker 1: UM men have reached out to me, you know, and 693 00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:19,040 Speaker 1: they don't see this situation. There was, you know, a 694 00:35:19,080 --> 00:35:21,000 Speaker 1: black guy who was like he was going through DP 695 00:35:21,480 --> 00:35:24,560 Speaker 1: and he's like, Yo, never have I seen anybody of 696 00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:28,600 Speaker 1: any color talking about this, you know. So it's for them, 697 00:35:28,719 --> 00:35:31,480 Speaker 1: and it's for me because it's healing for me to 698 00:35:31,640 --> 00:35:34,640 Speaker 1: keep talking about it and to keep sharing UM and 699 00:35:34,680 --> 00:35:37,560 Speaker 1: not keeping this stuff bottled up. So that's why I 700 00:35:37,640 --> 00:35:39,279 Speaker 1: love it. I love it. I love in LaToya, I 701 00:35:39,280 --> 00:35:43,120 Speaker 1: adore you. I'm like in love. Right now, I want 702 00:35:43,120 --> 00:35:46,120 Speaker 1: to talk about where people can find you. But before 703 00:35:46,160 --> 00:35:50,080 Speaker 1: we wrap up with that, UM, you do some guided breathwork. 704 00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:52,520 Speaker 1: You're in a guided breath work, right, Okay? Can you 705 00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:54,880 Speaker 1: take us through like just a short like a minute 706 00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:58,400 Speaker 1: or less guided meditation that can help release some stress 707 00:35:58,400 --> 00:36:01,000 Speaker 1: and anxiety maybe a little overthinking for us. Oh sure. 708 00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:03,520 Speaker 1: So I always do the four a count, um, And 709 00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:06,720 Speaker 1: that's inhale on the four account, and then you hold 710 00:36:06,760 --> 00:36:08,680 Speaker 1: on the four a count and then you exhale on 711 00:36:08,719 --> 00:36:12,239 Speaker 1: the four account, um. And it helps in anything when 712 00:36:12,280 --> 00:36:14,440 Speaker 1: you stress in front of computer. It helps for panic 713 00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:17,640 Speaker 1: attacks to um. So you take a deep breath in 714 00:36:17,760 --> 00:36:21,080 Speaker 1: on the four hold four. You gotta count me in 715 00:36:21,200 --> 00:36:23,200 Speaker 1: or something. I want to do it so we can 716 00:36:23,239 --> 00:36:32,440 Speaker 1: start now, okay, So breathing on the floor, hold it 717 00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:44,240 Speaker 1: and then exhale on the floor and then I usually 718 00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:47,840 Speaker 1: roll my shoulders, roll my neck and if I needed 719 00:36:47,880 --> 00:36:50,319 Speaker 1: one more time, we can do it again. I'm gonna 720 00:36:50,320 --> 00:36:52,920 Speaker 1: start cracking bones. So y'all how you feeling? Do you 721 00:36:52,920 --> 00:36:56,160 Speaker 1: want to do one more time breathing. Okay, one more 722 00:36:56,640 --> 00:37:06,920 Speaker 1: inhale on the four account, hold it and an exhale 723 00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:13,120 Speaker 1: on the four acount and then roll it out. This 724 00:37:13,200 --> 00:37:15,800 Speaker 1: is reminding me that I need to give my life together. 725 00:37:15,840 --> 00:37:19,960 Speaker 1: I need to get back my consistent meditation. Yes, so 726 00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:22,080 Speaker 1: do I, girl, I need to get mine together. I'm 727 00:37:22,080 --> 00:37:26,400 Speaker 1: not consistent either. That's the beauty of it all. You 728 00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:28,759 Speaker 1: can do it. We always have tomorrow, God willing. So 729 00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:32,439 Speaker 1: amen to that, Latia. If people want to reach out 730 00:37:32,480 --> 00:37:34,520 Speaker 1: to you, go one on one with you, listen to 731 00:37:34,560 --> 00:37:38,000 Speaker 1: your podcast, where can they find you? Okay? So my 732 00:37:38,080 --> 00:37:43,080 Speaker 1: Instagram is the dot analog Girl. Um My Twitter is 733 00:37:43,200 --> 00:37:46,400 Speaker 1: the Underscore Analog Girl, or you can go to my 734 00:37:46,520 --> 00:37:49,600 Speaker 1: website at the analog Girl dot com. Why is the 735 00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:53,640 Speaker 1: analog Well because I'm a nineties girl and I loved 736 00:37:53,640 --> 00:37:56,880 Speaker 1: analog world, right and you know Eric bad said analog 737 00:37:56,960 --> 00:37:59,759 Speaker 1: girl in the digital world, and so analog is like 738 00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:02,640 Speaker 1: my foundation, my calm, my piece. You know, digital world 739 00:38:02,719 --> 00:38:05,760 Speaker 1: is so fast paced, make you so anxious, and analog 740 00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:10,960 Speaker 1: just calms you out zend out. That's how Yeah, this 741 00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:14,640 Speaker 1: is like my favorite conversation of all time. Thank you, 742 00:38:14,840 --> 00:38:17,240 Speaker 1: thank you so much, and I love being on your show. 743 00:38:17,360 --> 00:38:19,920 Speaker 1: I'm so honored that you that you asked me. When 744 00:38:19,960 --> 00:38:25,960 Speaker 1: I saw I was like grateful you said yes because 745 00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:28,400 Speaker 1: you were dropping Jim's left and right. I'll be applying 746 00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:31,120 Speaker 1: a lot of this too, so I so appreciate you. 747 00:38:31,800 --> 00:38:38,239 Speaker 1: Thank you. I appreciate it. Happy didn't I tell you? 748 00:38:38,680 --> 00:38:40,480 Speaker 1: Didn't I tell you? Did I not tell you? I 749 00:38:40,520 --> 00:38:42,399 Speaker 1: told you you don't want to listen, But I told 750 00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:43,879 Speaker 1: you and that was the truth. And now you know 751 00:38:44,239 --> 00:38:48,480 Speaker 1: you can trust me. LaToya is amazing special. Thank you 752 00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:50,839 Speaker 1: again to her for sharing her story and being so 753 00:38:51,239 --> 00:38:54,719 Speaker 1: vulnerable and honest and real. Make sure y'all hit her up. 754 00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:56,600 Speaker 1: And if you feel like that's something that you're struggling 755 00:38:56,600 --> 00:38:58,319 Speaker 1: with when it comes to anxiety, and you feel like 756 00:38:58,360 --> 00:39:02,239 Speaker 1: you would love the support that her network provides, go 757 00:39:02,440 --> 00:39:05,239 Speaker 1: check it out, Go go sliding the d M s 758 00:39:05,360 --> 00:39:07,799 Speaker 1: or hit her up or check out our podcast. Okay, now, 759 00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:09,879 Speaker 1: before we head out, I want to share with you 760 00:39:10,080 --> 00:39:15,280 Speaker 1: and iune interview from a lovely listener anger Barren shot. 761 00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:17,960 Speaker 1: I'm sorry if I mispronounced it, but she says, best 762 00:39:17,960 --> 00:39:21,600 Speaker 1: podcast for the modern woman. I love this new Zuri Venture. 763 00:39:21,640 --> 00:39:23,800 Speaker 1: Always been a big fan since her early e days 764 00:39:24,160 --> 00:39:28,240 Speaker 1: and single ladies YouTube video, and she brings her spirit 765 00:39:28,360 --> 00:39:31,240 Speaker 1: and bright sparkle to this too. I love the great topics, 766 00:39:31,280 --> 00:39:35,080 Speaker 1: which are not the typical light fluff often heard another podcasts, 767 00:39:35,320 --> 00:39:38,480 Speaker 1: but real life issues and life decisions and no, it's 768 00:39:38,520 --> 00:39:41,360 Speaker 1: not boring or tough to get through. Zuri makes it 769 00:39:41,440 --> 00:39:45,239 Speaker 1: so fun and relatable by incorporating her own experiences and 770 00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:50,439 Speaker 1: struggles into adulthood. Highly recommended. Thank you so much love 771 00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:53,360 Speaker 1: for taking the time to leave a review. I appreciate it. 772 00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:57,360 Speaker 1: I'm so glad you're enjoying it, UM, and a reminder 773 00:39:57,400 --> 00:40:00,200 Speaker 1: to you listening that leaving a review on it. This 774 00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:03,760 Speaker 1: is free, It's easy. It's the quickest way to support 775 00:40:03,840 --> 00:40:05,439 Speaker 1: Hot Happy Mess. So if you like what you hear 776 00:40:05,719 --> 00:40:08,879 Speaker 1: and you want to keep hearing it to be straight up, 777 00:40:09,760 --> 00:40:13,720 Speaker 1: oh grab, then I'm an easily review I'm just kidding. 778 00:40:13,719 --> 00:40:16,080 Speaker 1: I don't need it, no pressure, but I would appreciate it. 779 00:40:16,160 --> 00:40:19,240 Speaker 1: And it does show, UM, show that people are vibing 780 00:40:19,400 --> 00:40:21,560 Speaker 1: with Hot Happy Mess and what we're creating here. The 781 00:40:21,560 --> 00:40:24,480 Speaker 1: community is growing, the podcast is growing, and that just 782 00:40:24,560 --> 00:40:26,879 Speaker 1: warms my heart, makes me feel so good. I love 783 00:40:26,880 --> 00:40:29,960 Speaker 1: reading all of your messages. I see all of your comments. Um, 784 00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:32,880 Speaker 1: so hit me up. Um, if you want to leave 785 00:40:32,880 --> 00:40:34,800 Speaker 1: a review, you can do that. Go to Apple podcast 786 00:40:34,880 --> 00:40:37,160 Speaker 1: type and Hot Happy Mess Girl down and write the review. 787 00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:40,000 Speaker 1: Slide in my d M s at Zuri hall z 788 00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:42,799 Speaker 1: u r I h A L l or at Hot 789 00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:46,160 Speaker 1: Happy mess Um. I love to talk to y'all. I 790 00:40:46,160 --> 00:40:48,240 Speaker 1: see everything, even if I don't have time to respond 791 00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:52,480 Speaker 1: to everything, and I love getting your messages. So shoot 792 00:40:52,480 --> 00:40:55,560 Speaker 1: me one. Yeah. Oh, and can you do me a 793 00:40:55,600 --> 00:40:59,719 Speaker 1: huge favor, super fast, super easy. If you could just 794 00:40:59,800 --> 00:41:03,640 Speaker 1: like tell a friend or tell your mama, tweet your mutuals, 795 00:41:03,760 --> 00:41:06,400 Speaker 1: tell them to listen to Hot Happy mess Okay, if 796 00:41:06,440 --> 00:41:09,480 Speaker 1: you could just share us on Instagram, Facebook spam maybe 797 00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:12,920 Speaker 1: not spam Loki spam um, and just tell the people 798 00:41:13,320 --> 00:41:16,680 Speaker 1: that they should be getting their hot Happy mess on 799 00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:20,200 Speaker 1: and takasan social you would be a real one. And 800 00:41:20,280 --> 00:41:22,640 Speaker 1: I want to repost you and all of your love. 801 00:41:22,840 --> 00:41:27,160 Speaker 1: So that's it for me this week. Come back next 802 00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:32,000 Speaker 1: week when we are getting into another wellness conversation. We 803 00:41:32,040 --> 00:41:35,759 Speaker 1: are talking about it all, y'all. Astrology, horror scopes. I'm 804 00:41:35,760 --> 00:41:41,120 Speaker 1: a Gemini in case you cann't tell meditation any Grahams 805 00:41:41,239 --> 00:41:43,440 Speaker 1: all of the things, and if there's something you think 806 00:41:43,480 --> 00:41:45,759 Speaker 1: we should dive into this series or that you think 807 00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:47,879 Speaker 1: will be fun to talk about. Let me know. If 808 00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:49,560 Speaker 1: you feel like you're a real woman with a real 809 00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:51,719 Speaker 1: story and you want to be on the podcast. Let 810 00:41:51,760 --> 00:41:53,879 Speaker 1: me know. If you feel like you know somebody who 811 00:41:53,880 --> 00:41:56,799 Speaker 1: should be that woman, let me know. The theme is 812 00:41:57,440 --> 00:42:00,200 Speaker 1: let me know, all right, I'll see you all next week. 813 00:42:00,239 --> 00:42:03,680 Speaker 1: In the meantime, stay blessed. I'm sending love and light 814 00:42:04,040 --> 00:42:06,720 Speaker 1: and I'll talk to you next week. Bye bye, bye, 815 00:42:06,960 --> 00:42:07,840 Speaker 1: bye bye.