Speaker 1: We go to like dinners with friends or people that
Speaker 1: may maybe I don't know at the dinner party, and
Speaker 1: then it turns to like, can we go to the bathroom?
Speaker 1: Can I just show you my whole I have a problem,
Speaker 1: And then like and then like a woman, a girl
Speaker 1: would be like I just had my kids, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I have something sticking out my ass and like, I
Speaker 1: what is it?
Speaker 2: And then you like the rest, a little reconsultation. You
Speaker 2: know what we do here destroy shame around sex by
Speaker 2: talking about sex. Now, let me tell you something messy.
Speaker 2: What I want to talk to you about today is
Speaker 2: really quite important to me, and I think it's you know,
Speaker 2: it's come up. People have been bringing up a lot,
Speaker 2: and so I'm finally ready to talk about it here
Speaker 2: on you know, my show just feels like the right
Speaker 2: platform to talk about it, which is that my ass
Speaker 2: has grown. Please don't be Dallas, Please don't hate, don't
Speaker 2: send the hate mail, don't send any you know, uh,
Speaker 2: terrible dms or comments. My ass growing. It is what
Speaker 2: it is, and I've worked very hard on it and
Speaker 2: I'm proud about it. And if you haven't seen it,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna make sure that I post a photo so
Speaker 2: that you really understand the growth factor. Here's why I'm
Speaker 2: proud of it. Let me you know, and listen, I
Speaker 2: think we all should at some point hype up our
Speaker 2: you know, things that were proud of. I'm proud of
Speaker 2: my ass because I don't come from a family of asses,
Speaker 2: Do you know what I'm saying? The goodmans we are
Speaker 2: known for our rich textured hair, our strong noses, big lips,
Speaker 2: dark skin. But ass never never didn't know her, never
Speaker 2: knew her, never understood her. But that was okay because
Speaker 2: again I had other things, other things that were going
Speaker 2: for me. And then I got to I don't know, college,
Speaker 2: and like people weren't really talking about asses like that.
Speaker 2: But like once I graduated, like into my twenties, people
Speaker 2: started talking a little bit about ass. And then of
Speaker 2: course we all know societally as like listen, black folks
Speaker 2: have always had asses, but then the Kardashians did it,
Speaker 2: and now everyone's like, we gotta have an ass whatever whatever,
Speaker 2: But I still stay true to myself. I got the hair,
Speaker 2: I got the nose, I got the lips, I got
Speaker 2: the skin. I'm good. Then when I moved to La
Speaker 2: you know, I have my gaggle of black girlfriends, and
Speaker 2: my girlfriends they're they're all male. But you know my sisters, right,
Speaker 2: So I have my sisters, and I have the smallest
Speaker 2: ass of the group. Everyone knows that, and I'm okay
Speaker 2: with that. Again, I have things that work for me
Speaker 2: and I'm okay having the small ass. But two years ago,
Speaker 2: here's what fucked me up. Two years ago, I made
Speaker 2: friends with two white men, my two white sisters, if
Speaker 2: you will, and they have ass. And that was it
Speaker 2: was troubling for me. It was hard, but like, you know,
Speaker 2: like whatever, whatever, But here's what happened. Then I took
Speaker 2: a trip. I did a trip with my black sisters
Speaker 2: and my two white sisters. And so I went on
Speaker 2: this trip and somehow ass came up. Who ass came up?
Speaker 2: And everyone was like, well, whose ass is biggest and whatnot?
Speaker 2: And everybody, the black sisters and the white sisters agreed.
Speaker 2: I ain't have no ass. And that is my villain
Speaker 2: origin story, bitch, because I said, absolutely not, Okay, I
Speaker 2: will not let these white girls come in here and
Speaker 2: try to have fatter ass than me. So I immediately
Speaker 2: got myself a nice little fitness coach, and I said
Speaker 2: to him. His name is Seth, I said, I said, said,
Speaker 2: I want to build my ass. I need a booty.
Speaker 2: I need to make these bitches suffer. And Seth said bet.
Speaker 2: And so you know, the last two years have been
Speaker 2: me growing my ass and it's been it's been lovely
Speaker 2: because not only is there more to hold onto, but
Speaker 2: I get the compliments now and I don't mind being
Speaker 2: oggled in that way, and I want to enjoy it
Speaker 2: because I know that I won't be aggled at in
Speaker 2: my entire life, which we should probably talk about. By
Speaker 2: the way, welcome to the show. This is telling me
Speaker 2: something messy. I'm your your host. Brandon called goodmn. Some
Speaker 2: people call me messy mom. You can call me fucking
Speaker 2: I don't know. Uh, Well, like a superhero iron ass
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying. Like, I built that ass
Speaker 2: out and I'm proud of it. I'm proud to be
Speaker 2: a villain of ass. Well, I guess Iron Man wasn't
Speaker 2: a villain. But we'll deal with it. The joker, the
Speaker 2: joke hole, the jack. I'm a workshott and I will
Speaker 2: have it by the end of the episode. Okay, maybe
Speaker 2: you know what that means. It is time for a guest,
Speaker 2: and while they get situated, we are going to get
Speaker 2: our messy key key started with a whole manifest Stow
Speaker 2: repeat after me, allowed or in your head. Grant me
Speaker 2: the serenity to unpack my shame, the courage to heal,
Speaker 2: the wisdom to know that sex is not just about penetration,
Speaker 2: the audacity to advocate for my pleasure and my boundaries.
Speaker 2: The strength to not call my ex that fuck boy,
Speaker 2: fuck girl or buck bay, for it is better for
Speaker 2: me to masturbate by myself in peace than to let
Speaker 2: someone play in my motherfucking face. Let the community say o, helujah.
Speaker 2: I am so excited to have Miitra Juhari on the show.
Speaker 2: Miitro Juhari is a writer, actor, and comedian. You can
Speaker 2: see her work on Three Busy, Debra's Big Mouth, dig
Speaker 2: Man Clone, High, High Maintenance, Abbott, Elementary Search, Party, The Bear,
Speaker 2: and more. Mitra is also my work wife. We used
Speaker 2: to work together on Big Mouth. We sat next to
Speaker 2: each other for all the seasons we were there. I'm obsessed, y'all,
Speaker 2: Please help me. Welcome Metro Juhari. Hi, mi Tra, how
Speaker 2: are you?
Speaker 3: Great? Brandon?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: My god? Using my name sexy, well bringing the heat.
Speaker 2: I know that's right. Well, before we get into our
Speaker 2: MESSI key, we have some messy mandates that I'm trying
Speaker 2: to find in my doc because I should know my heart.
Speaker 2: We're doing so well, okay, So, uh, mess mandates, which
Speaker 2: are any thoughts or opinions share have the right to evolve, shift,
Speaker 2: or change today, tomorrow or ten years from now. And
Speaker 2: this is the most important. Actually, if during the kiki
Speaker 2: something feels too personal or unintentionally offends, we use the
Speaker 2: safe word fus ball, which gives us a chance to
Speaker 2: pause and address or pivot accordingly. I'm good, Yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: do you want to play a lue breaker? It's my
Speaker 2: favorite thing to ask that question because you will go,
Speaker 2: what the fuck is this?
Speaker 1: Nothing?
Speaker 3: Could be shocking?
Speaker 2: Beautiful beautiful, Yeah, great, great, beautiful. So we're gonna start
Speaker 2: with this lue breaker, which is a messy round of
Speaker 2: real or fake gig which I'm going to give you
Speaker 2: a prompt and you tell me if you think it's
Speaker 2: true which is real, we're false like a myth, which
Speaker 2: is faking, like you guys, terrifying. Are you ready for
Speaker 2: the first one?
Speaker 4: Huh?
Speaker 2: Okay, So if you have anal sex, your butt will
Speaker 2: get bigger? Yeah fake? Oh my god, if that were
Speaker 2: a real, babe, I would have this ass a long
Speaker 2: time ago. I've been in the gym on the stairstep bers.
Speaker 3: A lot of tiny little butts.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there are a lot of so tiny. You shouldn't be
Speaker 2: so tiny. There would be a lot more ass out there.
Speaker 2: There would not be a need for the bbls and
Speaker 2: anything like that.
Speaker 3: Exactly, a lot of women on their hands and knees
Speaker 3: on an airplane.
Speaker 2: Yes to say, now, what I did read is that
Speaker 2: it could make the amus bigger, but not not the
Speaker 2: not the actual gluteus maximus.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, I mean it would be an ultimate life hack.
Speaker 2: I mean, listen, if getting sucked the askuld get us
Speaker 2: bigger asses?
Speaker 3: Wow much?
Speaker 2: If that stairmassard put a lot of people out of
Speaker 2: a business, out of work, a lot of those surgeons
Speaker 2: would be fucked. Okay, So real or faking semen is
Speaker 2: good for your skin.
Speaker 3: I want this to be true because I remember being
Speaker 3: told this. Yeah, internalizing it, huh, making choices.
Speaker 2: Routine includes, of course absolutely Unfortunately it's taking devastating, devastating.
Speaker 3: It makes sense considering who told me you're like, now,
Speaker 3: I know, no, I know it's not a medical professor
Speaker 3: medical question.
Speaker 2: Can I tell you that when I was a kid,
Speaker 2: my my bus driver promise is a great story my
Speaker 2: bus driver, you know, you know, sorry, when I was
Speaker 2: a teenager, you know, puberty is just wrecking the face.
Speaker 2: And my uh bus driver told me that, which I can't.
Speaker 2: I feel like she said it genuinely, but now she
Speaker 2: was fucking with me, but she said, I think I
Speaker 2: said this in the room, if you piss on your face,
Speaker 2: please tell me safe space. Oh yes, yeah, okay, So
Speaker 2: my bus driver said if you put piss on your
Speaker 2: face that it would help, that it helps with the pimples.
Speaker 2: And so there was a period of time where I
Speaker 2: would you have to imagine that I would uh go
Speaker 2: to the bathroom, and you know, I was a teenager,
Speaker 2: so I would just pee into the toilet bowl and
Speaker 2: put like a piece of tissue paper in like in
Speaker 2: the line of my piss, and then I would so devastated.
Speaker 3: Completely because I so understand that headspace. Ya, yeah, I
Speaker 3: received that information. I would have done exactly immediately.
Speaker 2: I'm like, put this piss on your face.
Speaker 3: Yes, it's like the time of like burning your hair
Speaker 3: with a flat iron. Like it's a time where like
Speaker 3: anything anyone says you should do, you will do.
Speaker 2: You will absolutely do. You will believe all the myths.
Speaker 2: But it was you know, I don't think it helped.
Speaker 2: Uh no, No, that wasn't it. That wasn't what cleared
Speaker 2: my skin. But back to semen, which is semen can
Speaker 2: cause allergic reactions, including stinging, burning, hives, and difficulty breathing.
Speaker 2: Symptoms usually appear twenty to thirty minutes after contact, So
Speaker 2: don't put semen on your I mean, but that's like
Speaker 2: an extreme because I like I have facials. I mean
Speaker 2: I have facials for real, but like also like come
Speaker 2: facials and my skin seems to be fine. But I
Speaker 2: washed my skin right after, so maybe that's helpful.
Speaker 3: I think that's crucial, crucial. I think that's a crucial
Speaker 3: because any any like any non skincare related thing that
Speaker 3: you're getting on your face, you don't want it to be.
Speaker 3: You don't want to stay there, you.
Speaker 2: Don't want to say that. Absolutely, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 3: Seeing semen is not skincare, But maybe.
Speaker 2: One day it will be. For those listening, for those
Speaker 2: who are very impressionable a semen keep it away from
Speaker 2: your skin unless it's away.
Speaker 3: No, wait, don't leave it. Don't leave it marinate on
Speaker 3: your skin.
Speaker 2: There we go. Okay, that is keate. Please do not
Speaker 2: leave it to marinate.
Speaker 3: Wipe it off, wash it off, not just wipe wash
Speaker 3: it off.
Speaker 2: Wow. An educational podcast wash wash your face not white.
Speaker 2: So this one says, oh, this is also sperm related.
Speaker 2: Uh sperm contains real calories? Yes, yes, yeah, it's like
Speaker 2: five to seven.
Speaker 3: You can't. I here's how I know.
Speaker 2: Tell me.
Speaker 3: Well, first of all, I don't think you can grow
Speaker 3: up early two thousands and not know every single thing
Speaker 3: that has calories.
Speaker 2: First of all, toxic, very true, very true. I was
Speaker 2: on a sym fast diet which was very toxic. Yeah yeah,
Speaker 2: but I also ate on it, which was not you're
Speaker 2: not supposed.
Speaker 3: To do, Jimmy Christ. But I saw that people were
Speaker 3: logging it on like my fitness pal, oh longing.
Speaker 2: Come my fitness is an app where you can, like,
Speaker 2: do you like log what you eat and it'll tell
Speaker 2: you like how many calories and macros and whatnot in it.
Speaker 2: That's wild that you saw, come on it.
Speaker 3: I saw it on Twitter that people were logging it.
Speaker 3: But then I looked, and I like, fully like downloaded
Speaker 3: the app, and and you you can.
Speaker 2: Research research, journalistic research, writing a script research.
Speaker 3: Well, and then I was like I had like one
Speaker 3: day where I was like, you know, I'm going to
Speaker 3: just log everything, and then I was like, no, I'm not.
Speaker 3: I'm I'm far too lazy. It's not even like it
Speaker 3: was truly just laziness, Like it wasn't even like I'm
Speaker 3: more enlightened than this. I like whenever I was like
Speaker 3: I'm lazy, I don't want to do this.
Speaker 2: I can't.
Speaker 3: I was like when I realized I had to like
Speaker 3: figure out how much like the pistachios.
Speaker 2: Waged weight and you're like, it's so much work.
Speaker 3: So much work, but you can log come.
Speaker 2: Educational podcast. So there's that.
Speaker 3: Let's just say I'm remember my calary a little bit today,
Speaker 3: if you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: Unfortunately I do. Okay, well you win, you win win.
Speaker 2: My congratulations with my unconditional love, which you already had
Speaker 2: to get like double of it, which is just incredible. Okay, Mitra,
Speaker 2: will you tell me something messy?
Speaker 3: I was like looking and I was thinking about like
Speaker 3: the messiest time of course high school and middle school,
Speaker 3: and this isn't so messy, but I just I was
Speaker 3: thinking about it and I was laughing, Well, it's messy,
Speaker 3: but it's not okay. So I didn't really know, like
Speaker 3: how I didn't know about much of anything. I didn't
Speaker 3: really know how to be flirty. I don't even think
Speaker 3: I told the story in the Big Mother, but maybe
Speaker 3: I did one time. I and and he is still
Speaker 3: a friend. I lured a boy to my home by
Speaker 3: telling him that I could cut hair, and I snuck
Speaker 3: him in through a window up to my room, and
Speaker 3: I kind of just didn't think, like I didn't think
Speaker 3: I would get that.
Speaker 2: Far, and so the pitch was, I can give you
Speaker 2: a haircut. He was like yes, and then he came over.
Speaker 3: And then I think, I think in my mind I
Speaker 3: was like, maybe that is like a natural segue, like
Speaker 3: we won't even get to the haircut. But then we
Speaker 3: were both like so nervous that then I just ended
Speaker 3: up cutting his hair and it nothing happened in my room.
Speaker 3: I cut his hair, and then regular it looked so
Speaker 3: bad I would have to find it was like sort
Speaker 3: of like spiky on even needed to be styled. And
Speaker 3: second of all, probably all the same length when not styled.
Speaker 3: But in my mind, I was like, well, to cut
Speaker 3: it a bunch of different lengths and then when he
Speaker 3: comes up, it'll like look like but he had like
Speaker 3: a completely different like texture of hair from the guy
Speaker 3: in the movie that we.
Speaker 2: Saw in the movie. So you saw what you saw
Speaker 2: a haircut in a movie.
Speaker 3: And I don't remember what movie. I would have to, like,
Speaker 3: I would really have to do and I'll do some digging,
Speaker 3: but I remember exactly what the hair looked like. Never forget,
Speaker 3: and then I will never forget how much it didn't
Speaker 3: look like that.
Speaker 2: Sorry, did you have like a photo that you were
Speaker 2: copying or you?
Speaker 3: Like from my mind, I was like, I know exactly
Speaker 3: what to do here?
Speaker 2: Did he say thank you? Did he? Was?
Speaker 3: He upset because like I don't think he knew how
Speaker 3: bad it was at that moment, like like and I
Speaker 3: didn't either, because I was like, well, we have to
Speaker 3: style it, of course, to see how good the haircut looks.
Speaker 3: And then he went home.
Speaker 2: What happened the next day?
Speaker 3: He had to get another haircut.
Speaker 2: Now I want to interview him, and I want to know,
Speaker 2: like what his parents response was when he came home.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I know, and he came all that
Speaker 3: way of us could drive, like I think he biked
Speaker 3: or something. I actually never even had the curiosity to ask.
Speaker 3: I got there.
Speaker 2: Just like so nervous to give a haircut.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I truly don't know like what I thought
Speaker 3: was going to happen, what my intentions were. I can't
Speaker 3: imagine that I was sitting there being like, well, give
Speaker 3: him haircut and send him on his way.
Speaker 2: You're like, I'm going to give him such a great haircut,
Speaker 2: he's gonna have to eat me out.
Speaker 3: I don't even think I knew what that was.
Speaker 2: I think, like kiss, we're going to make out.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I wanted. I think deep down I wanted something
Speaker 3: to occur, but I didn't know like even what that
Speaker 3: could be.
Speaker 2: But it's so sensual to like be touching his hair.
Speaker 2: Was that at all on your bed?
Speaker 3: And then he's just leaving his hair like loose hair
Speaker 3: all over the bed.
Speaker 2: Make a doll, you know.
Speaker 3: To me, like more intimate than like many sexual encounters.
Speaker 2: That was really wholesome, disturbing, disturbing.
Speaker 3: Like nothing sexual actually had happened yet. It is so
Speaker 3: charged and disturbing.
Speaker 2: Disturbingly wholesome, and you love that.
Speaker 3: Wow, Like what did I do with the hair?
Speaker 2: Like, what did she do?
Speaker 3: I don't know, because.
Speaker 2: I'm like, you're like disassociated, You're like it's.
Speaker 3: All it's Yeah. I think it was just like this
Speaker 3: few state where I was like, I'm giving it. I'm
Speaker 3: actually giving a haircut.
Speaker 2: Because your parents also didn't know he was in the house.
Speaker 3: This was like in the middle of the night, That's
Speaker 3: what I mean, Like, how did he get there? How
Speaker 3: did he get care? I don't know.
Speaker 2: The middle of the night haircut.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I think that's so cute because I think, what's what's
Speaker 2: wholesome about it? It's like it's so clear that the two
Speaker 2: of you wanted each other. Yeah, you both the middle
Speaker 2: of the night haircut. What are we doing? Like we
Speaker 2: want each other.
Speaker 3: To sleep being so quiet? Yeah, and I'm going all right,
Speaker 3: time to cut your hair, I guess. And then thanks
Speaker 3: to the haircut, Mitra, time to run home. Didn't let
Speaker 3: that close.
Speaker 2: The more you tell me, the more romantic it is
Speaker 2: you have to write. You have to write a little
Speaker 2: rom com about this, a little short story. I love this,
Speaker 2: I love this. Thank you all, thank you. We can
Speaker 2: do that a safe space to share about the haircuts, right,
Speaker 2: It's time for some messy where we read out messy
Speaker 2: patron stories and submissions. As always, your submissions remain anonymous.
Speaker 2: One of your submissions will be my messy pick for
Speaker 2: a messy key key, which is a more in depth
Speaker 2: convote with my guess me trot. This first one says
Speaker 2: weekend DP with my husband and two daddies, had my
Speaker 2: pussy mouth dripping? Come happy boy? How you feel? How
Speaker 2: you feel like that?
Speaker 1: You can?
Speaker 2: I like, yeah read it? Yeah yeah yeah. It says
Speaker 2: week and it's copy and paste.
Speaker 3: It's literally pussy slash mouth. That was okay, pussy mouth.
Speaker 2: Well, it's like your mouth has a pussy.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah, yah yeah yeah yeah I pussy mouth
Speaker 3: new to me.
Speaker 2: This one says, uh oh, how do I get that
Speaker 2: juicy bubble boo for your man? I need some pointers now.
Speaker 2: When I first read this, I was like for my man,
Speaker 2: but I think they mean like.
Speaker 3: For them, maybe for your man?
Speaker 2: Could you imagine asking how do you get a juicy
Speaker 2: video for your man? Very housewives, very very housewives.
Speaker 3: Harry squats?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, sorry about the juicy, but yeah squats clearly
Speaker 2: star master. Yeah. Anal sex does not help. As we
Speaker 2: debunked earlier. So yeah, stare maaster. I love. That's my
Speaker 2: white woman cardio.
Speaker 3: It's good.
Speaker 2: That's what I call it. It's like twenty minutes interval training.
Speaker 2: I do. Am I going to really tell you?
Speaker 3: Is hiking hiking?
Speaker 2: I hate hiking, but I mean it's incline. It's the incline.
Speaker 3: It's the incline.
Speaker 2: It's the incline that builds the behind. It was I
Speaker 2: was trying to rhyme that somebody will make that, somebody
Speaker 2: will figure it out. This one says, I've been trying
Speaker 2: to bottom more and heard botox in your hole can help.
Speaker 2: Is this true? Well, listen, I don't actually know. I've
Speaker 2: heard about this, but I don't know. So we're bringing
Speaker 2: in a sexpert, and here he is. We're gonna talk
Speaker 2: to doctor Evan Goldstein, who is the leading anal health
Speaker 2: expert in the United States, founder of Future Method, and
Speaker 2: one of the few surgeons in the world whose practice
Speaker 2: Bespoke Surgical is dedicated to treating and restoring the human
Speaker 2: But he has been featured we need you, Thank you,
Speaker 2: thank you, thank you. Doctor. He has been featured in
Speaker 2: national publications including GQ, Well and Good Men's Health. Cosmopolitan,
Speaker 2: New York mag Forbes, Fast Company, Out and Shape, and
Speaker 2: is an in demand speaker for both medical and sex
Speaker 2: positive industries. His first book, But Seriously, The Definitive Guide
Speaker 2: to anal Health, Pleasure and Everything in Between, was published
Speaker 2: in May of this year. Please help Me, welcome doctor Evan.
Speaker 1: Thanks so much for having me.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, thank you for being here. We're so excited,
Speaker 2: like literal.
Speaker 3: You know, I've been looking forward to this for weeks.
Speaker 2: Literally literally, I was like, mit, do you want to
Speaker 2: interview the butt doctor? Let's just start there? Is there?
Speaker 1: There's anal botox totally. Anal botox is a huge thing.
Speaker 1: It's been for a while now. It's like super mainstream.
Speaker 1: But you need to first make sure that you are
Speaker 1: a candidate for it.
Speaker 2: How are you a candidate?
Speaker 1: So there's three types of holes in the world? Is leading?
Speaker 2: Did you see that leaned in my candidate?
Speaker 1: So there are three types of assholes in the world. Okay,
Speaker 1: and how do we know this? So in my office,
Speaker 1: for the last fifteen years, we've been doing testing to
Speaker 1: see are there different groups of people, people that can
Speaker 1: totally take any versus people that can't. And there's three groups.
Speaker 1: The first group is I can relax my ass, I
Speaker 1: can take whatever, and I'm blessed.
Speaker 4: That's I'm totally blessed, God's chosen.
Speaker 1: But yes, that's not me. I don't know if that's you,
Speaker 1: but that's not me. So that that group is about
Speaker 1: thirty five percent of people actually really yeah, And then
Speaker 1: the rest of people are having some issues. And the
Speaker 1: group number two is I sometimes can I sometimes am
Speaker 1: having some difficulty. There's some pain when I start, whereas
Speaker 1: group three is like, nothing's going in there. It's too tight,
Speaker 1: it's too restricted, there's something that I may necessarily need
Speaker 1: to do surgery on. So the reality is that with
Speaker 1: anal botox first, to take it back to like why
Speaker 1: does ano botox work? So there are three muscles in
Speaker 1: everybody's ass. If you, guys, squeeze your whole right now,
Speaker 1: and the listeners are doing that too. You're squeezing. You
Speaker 1: can rest now you're squeezing. You're squeezing the two outer
Speaker 1: most muscles. The third one is deeper in that's you
Speaker 1: and I don't have much control over that. That's the
Speaker 1: one that is tighter in a lot of people. So
Speaker 1: I'm like, let's say I'm having sex with someone that
Speaker 1: I'm entering them and they're like, oh, I'm totally relaxed,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, yeah, I can't get myself inside you.
Speaker 1: It's that third muscle called the internal sphincter that is
Speaker 1: really too tight. That's the one that you give a
Speaker 1: botox too. And what that does is it just decreases
Speaker 1: the pressure. So there's you know, like we said, with
Speaker 1: multiple bottoms, there's people that are too loose, there's normal,
Speaker 1: and then there's people that are too tight. By giving
Speaker 1: the boatox in that third muscle, you're moving them into
Speaker 1: a realm of being what would be considered in a
Speaker 1: more normal range. But the way that anal boatox works,
Speaker 1: first of all, it's the same day application. You do
Speaker 1: it in the office. It's super easy to do.
Speaker 2: It's just hurt.
Speaker 1: It's it's like a needle in your hole. I mean
Speaker 1: it's you know, yeah, I mean nobody.
Speaker 2: Sorry, I mean too obvious, but you know, yeah, it's okay.
Speaker 2: So it's a little people.
Speaker 1: In fifteen years of doing this, I have never had
Speaker 1: anybody not do it and not do it successfully in
Speaker 1: the office. But there's some people that need some coaching,
Speaker 1: you know, breathing and like hey, I'm going to inject it,
Speaker 1: but it's four injections, no downtime, and it lasts for
Speaker 1: about three to four months.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: Most people they do the botox. You probably need two
Speaker 1: to three sessions of the boatox. But if you think
Speaker 1: that botox me giving you botox is just going to
Speaker 1: be the Aha moment, it's not. You have to put
Speaker 1: in time, you have to work, you meaning, you need
Speaker 1: to use toys, you need to dilate, you need to
Speaker 1: have sex. You need to use it because it's a muscle,
Speaker 1: and that muscle is contracted ninety nine point nine percent
Speaker 1: of the day.
Speaker 3: And are any of this mental or is it entirely physical?
Speaker 1: I think that everything that I do sixty percent of
Speaker 1: it is functional, and then forty percent of it is mental.
Speaker 1: And the mental is two things. It's psychological, but it's
Speaker 1: also the connection from the brain to the ass. So
Speaker 1: like when you say squeeze, there are plenty of people
Speaker 1: that can squeeze, and there's plenty of people that when
Speaker 1: they squeeze, they're relaxing, and when they're relaxing, they're squeezing.
Speaker 1: The connection is just not there. So there's things that
Speaker 1: can be learned, and that's where when someone's like, hey,
Speaker 1: is anal botox a thing for me? First it's you
Speaker 1: need to see people that know what the hell they're doing. Second,
Speaker 1: you need to see someone that can look inside and
Speaker 1: out and do anal monometry testing and see like what
Speaker 1: bucket are you? Bucket one, two or three? And then like, okay,
Speaker 1: if you are a candidate, what do you need to
Speaker 1: do to get the appropriate treatment with anal botox? And
Speaker 1: also what's your end game? Are you looking to just
Speaker 1: toy work? Are you looking for fists? What are you
Speaker 1: looking for? So that we're doing a big detailed sexual
Speaker 1: history even for pooping, I do a lot of straight
Speaker 1: guys and girls that don't want anal at all, but
Speaker 1: they have hemorrhoids. They keep tearing, and by giving some
Speaker 1: botox you're relaxing them that muscle in a way that
Speaker 1: allows them to just live their quality of life that
Speaker 1: much better.
Speaker 3: So is this similar to like when people get like
Speaker 3: botox in their jaw for like clinching or something.
Speaker 1: Like interesting, the same concept. Now you see it is
Speaker 1: a game changer in the antal community just because there
Speaker 1: are so many people that are mentally hey, I do
Speaker 1: want to take it up the ass but I functionally can't,
Speaker 1: and I tell people like it destroys lives, Like if
Speaker 1: you are physically limited sexually and you want to do
Speaker 1: certain things, it ruins relationships. People become you know, really
Speaker 1: can become totally catastrophic in their relationships and their own
Speaker 1: self esteem.
Speaker 3: And a horrible loop when like you can't do it
Speaker 3: and then there's so much pressure.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is validating because sometimes you're like, well, just
Speaker 2: play with toys, like why is there Like I imagine that
Speaker 2: couples get into arguments or can get into arguments because
Speaker 2: it's like, well you don't why you want to take me,
Speaker 2: or just the arguments around not being able to get
Speaker 2: inside somebody. But now knowing that like there's a real
Speaker 2: it's not sorry, not that it was ever fake, but
Speaker 2: like there is that totally, it's a it's.
Speaker 1: An affirming, right, It's an affirming diagnosis to be like, okay,
Speaker 1: like what are the what are the barriers? You know,
Speaker 1: sex itself and anal play is pressure. And if you
Speaker 1: think of pooping, pooping is just as much pressure, but
Speaker 1: sex is even greater. So now you have to kind
Speaker 1: of understand like what's my anatomy? What muscles do I have.
Speaker 1: Do they listen to me? I always tell people sex
Speaker 1: is not overtly complicated. It's how do we get all
Speaker 1: of those muscles to relax in unison because there's three
Speaker 1: of them, right, But also how do we get the
Speaker 1: skin to open. It's like an accordion, right, think about
Speaker 1: we need the accordion to open. Great, hoot, hurrah, I
Speaker 1: took whatever I wanted. I had great sex, and then
Speaker 1: it closes. But in many people it can't open. So
Speaker 1: then what happens You have to create more pressure. When
Speaker 1: you create more pressure, you can tear, which is called
Speaker 1: an anal fissure. You can get hemorrhoids, which are these
Speaker 1: airbags that can kind of cause issues. You can get
Speaker 1: abscesses and infection. There's so many things that can happen.
Speaker 1: So I think it's sexual education. It's doing what we're
Speaker 1: doing and talking about it to kind of dispel myths
Speaker 1: and the taboos surrounding the topic. And then it's like
Speaker 1: empowering people to understand their own anatomy and functionality so
Speaker 1: that they now can actually get to where they need
Speaker 1: to be. And thankfully now we're in twenty twenty five
Speaker 1: where we have people that do this we have techniques,
Speaker 1: we're able to now get people to match what they
Speaker 1: want to the functional approaches. So it's cool. It's a
Speaker 1: cool space if.
Speaker 2: People want anal botox, like so where they go, Like,
Speaker 2: can I go to like my botox person now?
Speaker 1: Like, yeah, I think realistically, you want to go to
Speaker 1: someone that's fully in se actual wellness and also proctology
Speaker 1: anal specific There's a lot of people that are popping
Speaker 1: up that's like, oh, I'll do face, I'll do your ass,
Speaker 1: I'll do your balls, I'll do whatever. But again, it's
Speaker 1: a matter of you need to feel comfortable with the person.
Speaker 1: You need to make sure that you're in a place
Speaker 1: that you feel safe and listen to. And it's not
Speaker 1: just oh yeah, I want anal botox and you get it,
Speaker 1: because a lot of people with that maybe they didn't
Speaker 1: they didn't need it, or they need it plus they
Speaker 1: need something else and they need the education to know
Speaker 1: that you need to stretch the muscle. I tell people,
Speaker 1: think of you and I going to the gym. We're
Speaker 1: lifting weights one day, we're doing biceps. The next day
Speaker 1: we're doing triceeps. Why because we want to stretch the
Speaker 1: bicep The second day nobody ever stretches their whole, right,
Speaker 1: I mean just people don't do it.
Speaker 2: That's right.
Speaker 1: When someone's that's listening, like, look, I don't have access
Speaker 1: to this type of care. I don't know if I
Speaker 1: need antal boatox. What do I do? I wrote a
Speaker 1: book recently called butt Seriously.
Speaker 2: So Good.
Speaker 1: But in that book it goes over how do you
Speaker 1: use toys on your own? Right? I started a company
Speaker 1: called Future Method, which is bridging science into sex and
Speaker 1: everything that I learned in the office, So from toys
Speaker 1: to douching, to fiber prem probatics to all the things
Speaker 1: that I see that people need to just have better
Speaker 1: sex lives. And with that, you need to learn your
Speaker 1: own self. So there's a ways of using toys and
Speaker 1: dilating yourself. I'll show you the dilators and they come
Speaker 1: in this so they come in this kit, those ages,
Speaker 1: so that and then.
Speaker 3: And then there's and then there's.
Speaker 1: A cone, and then there's a cone and and they're
Speaker 1: there for a reason because they're working the muscle, they're
Speaker 1: working the skin, they're getting things tougher but more pliable.
Speaker 1: But as you're doing the protocol, you're learning what type
Speaker 1: of hole, what type of mental what type of mechanism
Speaker 1: you have, and then you'll be able to see am
Speaker 1: I in bucket one that I can take anything and
Speaker 1: I'm the blessed gods? Or am I or am I
Speaker 1: in the others that I need more help?
Speaker 3: I have a question when people come in and they
Speaker 3: want to know, like what bucket they're in? How are
Speaker 3: you figuring that out?
Speaker 2: Like that's a great question.
Speaker 1: So obviously we do a huge detailed sexual history before
Speaker 1: we enter the examiner, But in the exam room, I
Speaker 1: take an anoscope, which is literally a plastic tube that
Speaker 1: allows me to look inside with a microscope. And when
Speaker 1: I'm doing that, I'm entering and seeing, all right, how
Speaker 1: do the muscles relax? What are the muscles, what's the strength,
Speaker 1: what's the understanding of the anatomy? Is the skin very thin?
Speaker 1: I see a lot of women and trans women male
Speaker 1: to female because they're on estrogen sperno lactos. Their skin
Speaker 1: is beautiful, but it gets very thin. So you see
Speaker 1: people with a discrepancy of where they may have tight muscle,
Speaker 1: but they have weak, thin skin that can tear very easily.
Speaker 1: So it's kind of figuring out is it a muscular issue?
Speaker 1: Is it a skin issue, is it a skin scar.
Speaker 1: There's lots that goes to that. But also I have
Speaker 1: a physical therapist named Stephen Lavender here in the office.
Speaker 1: He's amazing, and what he does is we do an
Speaker 1: anal monometry test, which is we literally put a small
Speaker 1: instrument inside and we ask you to squeeze, relax, squeeze, relax,
Speaker 1: and we do a lot of different measurements that will
Speaker 1: tell me which bucket you're in. And then from there
Speaker 1: I'm able to be like, Okay, can I just get
Speaker 1: you to just understand your anatomy and you toys and
Speaker 1: you'll be successful? Or do we need to do anal
Speaker 1: botox plus that, or is there something else a hemorrhoid,
Speaker 1: a fissure, something that I need to do a surgical
Speaker 1: correction first and then go back to toys and boattox.
Speaker 1: So it's it's now finally an exact science where we're
Speaker 1: able to truly know where you fit. And then it's
Speaker 1: like a plug and play.
Speaker 3: Literally Yeah, yeah, yeah, seriously.
Speaker 2: Thought seriously, I bet that people leave your office or
Speaker 2: leave you. I mean, so we met, we met, actually
Speaker 2: be sure I met doctor Evan, because doctor everything's to
Speaker 2: come out to La and we were in maybe season
Speaker 2: four a big mouth and I had a hemorrhoid and
Speaker 2: my doctor, my primary K, recommended me to doctor Evan
Speaker 2: and I never got the I didn't get the surgery done.
Speaker 2: You told me to get a tissue bidet. I had
Speaker 2: a hemorrhids. So it was like tissue bidet change my
Speaker 2: fiber tucks whatever and my pussy is beautiful, changed my life.
Speaker 2: But it was so affirming to be able to talk
Speaker 2: to somebody without shame around what was happening with my
Speaker 2: because especially as a queer person, male bodied, like you know,
Speaker 2: your asshole is a big part of you know, your
Speaker 2: your sex life. So to be able to talk to
Speaker 2: somebody with no shame, I bet like people are just
Speaker 2: leaving your office feeling affirmed, liberated, and empowered because as
Speaker 2: you said, like you you came out of the closet,
Speaker 2: you know, you started to step into yourself, and so
Speaker 2: I imagine that there was some trepidation and some nervousness and
Speaker 2: some doubt, maybe even some imposter syndrome. So was there
Speaker 2: a patient that you had that kind of validated that
Speaker 2: you were on the right path, or that like kind
Speaker 2: of you you always kind of look to as fuel
Speaker 2: to keep going.
Speaker 1: There was a patient in Paris who was suicidal. I
Speaker 1: went to three four, had four or five surgeries, and
Speaker 1: he was my last resort and he literally was like
Speaker 1: going to jump off the bridge, and like I we like,
Speaker 1: I was like, let's just start and let's it. And
Speaker 1: now you know, it took us time because he had
Speaker 1: lots of surgeries and lots of scars. But when you
Speaker 1: get that email of like Evan, I just had sex
Speaker 1: and I hadn't had sex in the last seven years
Speaker 1: with my partner, and like, you know, like you could
Speaker 1: just it's just like how cool is that?
Speaker 2: You know that just.
Speaker 1: From what I the little incisions and the how and
Speaker 1: the wherewithal that I'm able to get that matched back
Speaker 1: into just an amazing productive life. And so I think realistically, look,
Speaker 1: if you if your ass doesn't work, you're going to
Speaker 1: find the people that can fix it. And nowadays, with
Speaker 1: Google and access and all that, you know, I zoom
Speaker 1: with people. We communicate, we figure out, we do what
Speaker 1: we need to do, and if we need an in
Speaker 1: person and surgery, we do it. But nowadays, of like
Speaker 1: you know, run of the mill stuff, you can find
Speaker 1: your local people to figure that part out. But when
Speaker 1: it gets to the point now where like you can't
Speaker 1: do what you want to do, you need to find
Speaker 1: somebody that has that expert and that's in anything, not
Speaker 1: only me. First of all. Now with Instagram and Zoom,
Speaker 1: you d M me anytime, and everyone sends me their
Speaker 1: ass picks anyway. So and then and then I sometimes
Speaker 1: I'm at dinner table and then like Phoenix is like,
Speaker 1: who's sending you an asshole? And like you, I'm like,
Speaker 1: I gotta look at it.
Speaker 2: It's my joh my goodness, I will ask you about
Speaker 2: assholes all Nay, I can't.
Speaker 1: It's like it's like we go It's like we go
Speaker 1: to like dinners with friends or people that may maybe
Speaker 1: I don't know at the dinner party, and then it
Speaker 1: turns to like, oh, well what do you do? And
Speaker 1: then Andy, my partner, is like, oh fuck.
Speaker 2: Because you got a laugh.
Speaker 1: Everybody No, everybody's going to be talking about it. They're
Speaker 1: like dad, They're like, can we go to the bathroom?
Speaker 1: Can I just show you my whole I have a problem?
Speaker 1: And then like and then like a woman, a girl
Speaker 1: would be like I just had my kids, and I'm
Speaker 1: like I have something sticking out my ass and like
Speaker 1: what is it? And then you like, well, I talk
Speaker 1: about like the book and our brand and what we
Speaker 1: do in the office. Is also in trying to empower
Speaker 1: you yes, which is to be like, yes, this is important.
Speaker 1: And then it's like you're going to need to do
Speaker 1: the education yourself because most of these physicians don't have
Speaker 1: the wherewithal anyway, Like they just don't know what the
Speaker 1: fuck is going on on the sexual side. They don't
Speaker 1: understand that. And I think that that was one of
Speaker 1: the big things, like me coming out and being gay
Speaker 1: and trying to take it up the ass. I clearly
Speaker 1: related to a community where now people feel comfortable. You
Speaker 1: just want to feel like recognized and understood, you know,
Speaker 1: and that is so important. But you start to break
Speaker 1: sex into three different buckets, right one is like how
Speaker 1: do they prepare for sex? And every community prepares differently.
Speaker 1: Right then it's like, well, how do I engage sexually?
Speaker 1: That's another like what loobs am I doing? What positions
Speaker 1: do am I doing? And then like what's the aftercare?
Speaker 1: Are people actually suppositories? You know, lotions, showering? What do
Speaker 1: people do? So when you start to kind of look
Speaker 1: at oh, these people are coming in with like STDs
Speaker 1: and tears. You start to ask the questions right where
Speaker 1: you start to see that everybody douches, and then I say,
Speaker 1: well that's interesting. The person that's overduching comes to me
Speaker 1: with ABC and D issue. Then you start to be like, well,
Speaker 1: what is it with overduching? And then you call up
Speaker 1: scientists and we have conversations and you say, oh, if
Speaker 1: people are using water or they're overduching, what happens is
Speaker 1: it fucks with the microbiome. So then you say, oh, well,
Speaker 1: well what does it matter? And then you say, well, actually, yes,
Speaker 1: we know that the microbiome changes in people that engage
Speaker 1: in anal sex. You have a higher incidence of STDs
Speaker 1: and A and anal injury. So then you start to
Speaker 1: see like all the different problems with that. So then
Speaker 1: I said, oh, okay, well do people need to douche?
Speaker 1: And then you say, well, can't you just use fiber
Speaker 1: and bulk the stool, And then you start to kind
Speaker 1: of implement changes in the way people eat and their
Speaker 1: diet and then their supplementation. And then they're like, I'm
Speaker 1: still going to douche because I don't want to shit
Speaker 1: on anybody and then you start to say, okay, well,
Speaker 1: can't we just make a douche solution that is not toxic.
Speaker 1: So that was the birth of my brand Future Method,
Speaker 1: which was like, yeah, we should be able to do that, right,
Speaker 1: people are cleaning, let's meet them where they are, but
Speaker 1: just let's do it. No, exactly right, so let's just
Speaker 1: give them a solution that works. And so we came
Speaker 1: up with the solution of powder packs, where literally it's
Speaker 1: like crystal light for every four.
Speaker 2: Yes, crystal lights, let's go. Yeah, we want to say.
Speaker 1: So, it's every four ounces of water you put a
Speaker 1: packet in and what it does is it neutralizes the
Speaker 1: water so that it cleans you. It keeps you silky
Speaker 1: and sexy, but it doesn't fuck with the microbiome.
Speaker 2: Microbiome, can I ask that question totally?
Speaker 1: So it's bacteria. Everyone has it, our skin, our ass,
Speaker 1: our mouths, everywhere. But your body is really really smart.
Speaker 1: You have good bacteria, you have bad bacteria, but it's
Speaker 1: in equilibrium and it lives in harmony and you are
Speaker 1: all good. Now, if you ever get a rash, a
Speaker 1: lot of that is the alteration of the microbiome. So
Speaker 1: think of like summertime, la heat wave, you had sweaty
Speaker 1: ass and then you're like, oh, and if you get
Speaker 1: a fungal infection there's too much moisture. The microbiome changes
Speaker 1: and then and that's what causes problems. Same thing happens anally,
Speaker 1: so just from sex, water based lube douching the insides,
Speaker 1: the microbiome changes and then all of a sudden, Now
Speaker 1: it's kind of think of it as being raw inside.
Speaker 3: Like flushing out exactly.
Speaker 1: Protective lining exactly.
Speaker 2: And so the package that you use like revitalizes that
Speaker 2: or kind.
Speaker 1: Of, but it won't fuck with it. What it does
Speaker 1: is it just irrigates, It just cleans, but it doesn't
Speaker 1: mess with the cells. Now, if you think of water,
Speaker 1: people use water or shower hoses, or they use enemous
Speaker 1: both of them are on two sides of the spectrum.
Speaker 1: That fucks with those cells inside. And so what happens
Speaker 1: is is that those cells become irritated, They basically slough off,
Speaker 1: they basically aren't viable, and then inside the microbiome changes
Speaker 1: and then it's raw. And then most of us have
Speaker 1: raw so now we're not using condoms. It's irritated inside.
Speaker 1: Even before you have sex and then now you can
Speaker 1: imagine anal injury STDs HIV. So the key is again
Speaker 1: it's like nobody ever talks about this shit and like
Speaker 1: we all like are not educated. Nobody provides the care,
Speaker 1: and so the key for this is like, how do
Speaker 1: you understand? I still want you to have sex? But
Speaker 1: it's like if we do little things by analyzing how
Speaker 1: you engage and then putting either products or altering the
Speaker 1: approaches so that you can now, you know, I tell people, look,
Speaker 1: I have a douche company, but I don't want to
Speaker 1: sell it. I want you to use our fiber. I
Speaker 1: want you to use our prem probiotics. I want you
Speaker 1: to do things that I always say, gut health before
Speaker 1: butt health. You need you know, you.
Speaker 2: Need to you know doctor Evan.
Speaker 1: But Empire, yeah, totally. And that's where we I you know,
Speaker 1: I see a lot of people yearly. Most people come
Speaker 1: through once a year, even if they're fucking and they're
Speaker 1: loving and they're doing everything. It's like we take a
Speaker 1: look inside. We test the muscle. We want to make
Speaker 1: sure you're not getting too loose. We want to make
Speaker 1: sure you're not getting too tight. There's things that we
Speaker 1: want to do, because there's a lot of things where
Speaker 1: people will be like, oh, I'm a STD negative, I
Speaker 1: look great, I feel great, and I go in there
Speaker 1: and I'm like, you have an awards from HPB or
Speaker 1: or you have chlamydia from a swab and you're asymptomatic.
Speaker 1: So there's lots of things that you wouldn't necessarily know,
Speaker 1: feel and or see unless someone looks inside. And it's
Speaker 1: just like going to the gynecologists for women, you know,
Speaker 1: once a year, an appropriate evaluation to make sure that
Speaker 1: we're all doing the right thing. And then if sex
Speaker 1: is really good, I want to know what that pressure
Speaker 1: is because if the pressure now goes higher or lower,
Speaker 1: we now know where you are optimal. So there's a
Speaker 1: lot of science that goes into to be asked.
Speaker 3: Clearly.
Speaker 2: I love this wait question because you mentioned gynecology anal
Speaker 2: pap smears. How often should we or when do you
Speaker 2: start doing that? And how often should that happen? Because
Speaker 2: I know those are important. I think I'm thirty seven.
Speaker 2: I believe I'm getting.
Speaker 1: Maybe maybe I already.
Speaker 2: I mean, I get mine, but I don't. My doctor
Speaker 2: made me get them signed, so I did it. But
Speaker 2: I'm just curious about like what age you're supposed to
Speaker 2: start thinking about that stuff and how often you should
Speaker 2: be doing that?
Speaker 1: Sure, so anal pap smears for the listeners. They're basically
Speaker 1: like cervical paps mirrors for women with cervix. Basically, you
Speaker 1: swab and it takes a sample of the cells and
Speaker 1: it tells us is there any change towards cancer, so
Speaker 1: pre cancer changes can be caught. Now, pap smears are
Speaker 1: still somewhat controversial. They're really only looking like it's indicated
Speaker 1: in HIV positive individuals because of just should you be
Speaker 1: pap smearing everybody? Now? I am a huge path proponent,
Speaker 1: but the reason why is because someone needs to actually
Speaker 1: do the pap smear and look at your ass and
Speaker 1: talk to you and see if there's any other things
Speaker 1: that are going on. The issue is if the pap
Speaker 1: smears come back positive, the question is is there something
Speaker 1: in there like wartz or some issues. But there's a
Speaker 1: lot of false positives with pap smears, so it could
Speaker 1: lead you down the pathway of doing a lot of
Speaker 1: biopsies that may actually be unwarranted. And with that being said,
Speaker 1: it could fuck with the whole bottoming situation. So I've
Speaker 1: seen many people that go to people that are like
Speaker 1: gung Ho anal pap smear what's called HRA, which is
Speaker 1: the high resolution anoscopy, which is going in there and
Speaker 1: biopsying and doing a lot of things when it wasn't
Speaker 1: necessarily truly as indicated. Now, back when HIV was ram
Speaker 1: and it wasn't treated, anal cancers amongst others like lymphomas
Speaker 1: and composing star coomas were quite rampant, and that's where
Speaker 1: anal pap smear is kind of birthed from. But now
Speaker 1: that people are on prep, HIV is so well controlled,
Speaker 1: we don't really we're not seeing the anal cancer rates
Speaker 1: that we were seeing before. Realistically, I think you need
Speaker 1: to go to someone that knows what's up and also
Speaker 1: understands that there could be negative consequences by going down
Speaker 1: those roads and is it truly indicated and warranted. So
Speaker 1: anal papsman should be done once a year, but taken
Speaker 1: in stride with everything else and just making sure that
Speaker 1: everyone understands that there are limitations.
Speaker 2: Amazing, doctor Evan, thank you so much for being here.
Speaker 2: This was heaven heaven, a heavenly conversation. Honestly, So I
Speaker 2: don't use it lightly, but like honestly healing. And I
Speaker 2: think that people listening, especially anyone who as any issues
Speaker 2: around their hole, will feel seen and validated.
Speaker 3: And I hope by you we.
Speaker 2: Got to meet that quota, We got to help that quotank.
Speaker 1: I appreciate you guys are doing such great things too,
Speaker 1: because just having the conversation, I think starts to push
Speaker 1: out what we're doing right, which is like amazing because
Speaker 1: and then I'm sure there'll be other questions and anything
Speaker 1: you need from me. I'm more than happy to dive deeper,
Speaker 1: literally into into anything, because obviously we just kind of
Speaker 1: touched the surface. We're just doing like Ana lingcous. We're
Speaker 1: not into you got.
Speaker 3: Puns all day to Deep and.
Speaker 2: The Empire. I'm so obsessed. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1: I appreciate everybody. Thank you so much, folks.
Speaker 2: Wow wow wow. First of all, thank you for being
Speaker 2: here with me.
Speaker 3: I don't know if we said how how excited I
Speaker 3: was to be a part of this country.
Speaker 2: Literally when I reached out to Metro to be like
Speaker 2: be on the show, then we were like booking doctor
Speaker 2: Evan about butts, and I think my producer reached out
Speaker 2: to and just said would you want to talk about butts.
Speaker 4: I said absolutely, immediately, absolutely, And we've been texting leading
Speaker 4: up to it, and yesterday I was doing like my
Speaker 4: prep and I could not just be more excited to
Speaker 4: like talk about anal botox and holes and there are
Speaker 4: so many other things that I didn't get to ask
Speaker 4: going to ask about butt facials, but you know, we'll
Speaker 4: have them back.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, lovely. I just felt like it makes
Speaker 3: some I mean, I love hearing about you know, community
Speaker 3: based care. Sure these like affirming conversations and just hearing
Speaker 3: his own journey to practicing this like very necessary. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but that I knew absolutely nothing about.
Speaker 2: And I think that I'm with you. I didn't expect it.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, we're gonna have fun, we're gonna
Speaker 2: laugh a lot, and we're gonna learn a lot. But
Speaker 2: also just like the heart of it, which is like, oh, yeah, right,
Speaker 2: this thing is important and if.
Speaker 3: You don't want people to get hurt, yeah, like more
Speaker 3: than anything, well, baseline, you don't want people to get hurt,
Speaker 3: but also you want people to feel comfortable and feel
Speaker 3: a lot of pleasure.
Speaker 2: Yes, feel pleasure and feel power, and and his practice
Speaker 2: really gives people that back even like talking about just
Speaker 2: like the the people who aren't having anal sex being
Speaker 2: able to poop.
Speaker 4: It's like, oh right, life's greatest, life's greatest pleasure.
Speaker 5: It is a good log, you know, you know, like
Speaker 5: this is not good, you know, like when when it
Speaker 5: hits that.
Speaker 3: Total yeah clean, break a clean, break wow, wow, break
Speaker 3: clean wipe. I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this was really really awesome and I'm so glad
Speaker 2: you were here. Thank you for being here with.
Speaker 3: Me, you for letting me hear you.
Speaker 2: Gift Merry Christmas. Well, you know we are hoes here,
Speaker 2: of all your hoes with hearts. So before we go,
Speaker 2: let me speak to yours, which is I mean, baby,
Speaker 2: your whole matters, you know what I'm saying, Like your
Speaker 2: butt matters, but also just your body matters. I think
Speaker 2: one of my big takeaways and whenever we talk to
Speaker 2: medical professionals on the show, is like, you know, advocate
Speaker 2: for yourself and if something isn't working, be curious, investigate
Speaker 2: it and find people out there who specialize in it.
Speaker 2: You know, there are people out there who one are
Speaker 2: also experiencing it, right, so there are other people who
Speaker 2: are experiencing similar symptoms that you might be experiencing, and
Speaker 2: then there's probably somebody out there who is trying to
Speaker 2: treat it or trying to work on it. And so
Speaker 2: do the research and give yourself the I don't know,
Speaker 2: the permission to be curious, permission to say, oh, something
Speaker 2: is off here before I ignore it, dismiss it, or
Speaker 2: going to despair over it. What kind of research can
Speaker 2: I be doing? I can't. We said whole an asshole
Speaker 2: so many times. What a thrill? What a thor rill?
Speaker 2: I'm like, literally, I just walked Mitra out of the
Speaker 2: studio and then I'm coming back here to talk to you,
Speaker 2: and I'm just like, Wow, this is on a Thursday afternoon.
Speaker 2: This is what I'm doing talking about assholes. And I
Speaker 2: couldn't be more honestly humbled and honored to do this
Speaker 2: as as my job, and so I hope it is
Speaker 2: helpful to you. But yeah, the takeaway for me is
Speaker 2: your whole matters. Your whole fucking matters. So take care
Speaker 2: of it. Do what you need to do to take
Speaker 2: care of it. Ask the questions it is. It sounds
Speaker 2: like there can be a lot, right, it can be overwhelming,
Speaker 2: but you take it piece by piece and build yourself
Speaker 2: a new blueprint build yourself, a new relationship with your body,
Speaker 2: with the pieces of your body that maybe don't function
Speaker 2: the way that you want them to or could be
Speaker 2: functioning better, which is also a tea. I really really
Speaker 2: adore meet when I'm so glad she was here. And
Speaker 2: I also adore doctor Evan. Like I said, I saw him,
Speaker 2: consulted with him when he was in La years ago,
Speaker 2: and just everything you heard, how knowledgeable he is, how
Speaker 2: open hearted he is, how shamefully judgment free. That is
Speaker 2: exactly who he is. So if you are in New York,
Speaker 2: do you know shameless plug. If you're in New York
Speaker 2: and you need support Bespoke Surgical. Every time a gay
Speaker 2: person says to me, I have some butt thing and
Speaker 2: I'm going to the butt doctor, I'm like doctor Evan,
Speaker 2: and every time it is yes, doctor Evan. I'm talking
Speaker 2: about Like I was in Madrid with a friend at
Speaker 2: dinner who was talking to me about like his whole
Speaker 2: because people talk to me about their holes too, and
Speaker 2: he was like, I'm going to see this doctor, this
Speaker 2: butt doctor. I said, doctor Evan. He said yeah, doctor Evan,
Speaker 2: And I was like, doctor Evan has to be on
Speaker 2: the show. And that's why this episode is here. Okay, well,
Speaker 2: that's all I have to say about that. I love
Speaker 2: you so much and I'll talk to you soon.
Speaker 1: Babies.
Speaker 2: That's the show. Listen. I want to hear from you,
Speaker 2: So send your topic, ideas or submissions to tell Me
Speaker 2: Something Messy at gmail dot com. You can call us
Speaker 2: as well at six six nine sixty nine Messy. That
Speaker 2: is six six nine six nine six three seven seventy nine.
Speaker 2: For you Hills who can't spell, join the community on
Speaker 2: the Messy Mondays substack, where you'll when you subscribe, you'll
Speaker 2: get weekly posts on sex and self recommendations, playlist, additional
Speaker 2: podcast content. So that's Brandon Kyle Goodman dot subsack dot com. Now.
Speaker 2: You can find Mitra on Instagram at Mitra juhari j
Speaker 2: O U h A r I. You can find doctor
Speaker 2: Evan on Instagram doctor Evan Goldstein. You can find me
Speaker 2: on Instagram Brandon Kyle Goodman. Find the podcast at tell
Speaker 2: Me Something Messy or on TikTok at Brandon k. Good
Speaker 2: You can find my I Have So Many Things to Tell.
Speaker 2: You can find my book the Los Angeles local bookstore
Speaker 2: Reparations Club. Use the code messy for fifteen percent off.
Speaker 2: Also doctor Evans' book, but seriously, we'll link that in
Speaker 2: the show notes. Rate and review, and share this podcast
Speaker 2: with all your hoe and aspiring hoe friends. Okay, on
Speaker 2: to we meet again. Ask about the politics of that
Speaker 2: dick before you make it spit. Make sure they eat
Speaker 2: the kitty before they beat the kitty, before funcation or secation. Communication.
Speaker 2: And the most important part that I'm going to say
Speaker 2: is just in case you haven't heard it yet, today
Speaker 2: you are so deeply loved. I love you. Thank you
Speaker 2: so much for listening to tell Me Something Messy. If
Speaker 2: you all enjoyed the show, send the episode to someone
Speaker 2: else who might like it. Tell Me Something Messy was
Speaker 2: executive produced by Ali Perry, Gabrielle Collins and Yours Truly.
Speaker 2: Our producer and editor is Vince de Johnny. Tell Me
Speaker 2: Something Messy is proud to be a part of the
Speaker 2: Outspoken Network from iHeart Podcasts, available on the iHeartRadio app
Speaker 2: or wherever you get your podcasts.