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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEVARBFM dot com and

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Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter

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Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're going to read

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Speaker 1: this one right here, right now.

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Speaker 2: You never know, it could be yours.

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Speaker 3: It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.

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Speaker 3: We got it for you here it is Brawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: Thank you nephew. Subject Does he have an outside influence?

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Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley. My husband can be the sweetest man

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Speaker 1: or the most annoying person in the world, depending on

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Speaker 1: his mood. If he feels like talking, he does it

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Speaker 1: on his terms. I share tidbits of my workday with

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Speaker 1: him and we talk about that together. But if I

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Speaker 1: ask him how his day was, he says everything was

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Speaker 1: fine or uneventful that day. He doesn't share any parts

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Speaker 1: of his personal life. And it sounds strange to say

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Speaker 1: that because I thought marriagement that we had the same

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Speaker 1: personal life with the exception of our friends.

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Speaker 2: He has a different opinion, and.

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Speaker 1: When I ask what's going on, he tells me that

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Speaker 1: I'm nosy or nagging him as a married man. He

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Speaker 1: rode through a new neighborhood and took pictures of three

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Speaker 1: homes and I saw the pictures on his phone. I

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Speaker 1: can't ask about them because he would have a fit

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Speaker 1: and start hiding his phone again. He always has his

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Speaker 1: AirPods in and he walks around the house on the phone.

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Speaker 1: I don't dare ask him who he's talking to because

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Speaker 1: he will embarrass me while he is on the phone.

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Speaker 1: He's done that numerous times before. I have walked in

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Speaker 1: on him pleasuring himself and call me crazy, but I

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Speaker 1: think he was on the phone with another woman while

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Speaker 1: he was doing it. It makes me think he has

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Speaker 1: an outside influence that's making him act like this towards me.

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Speaker 1: The final straw for me was him coming home with

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Speaker 1: the tray of jambalaya and a tray of seafood pasta,

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Speaker 1: and he said that a girl he met recently has

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Speaker 1: a new catering company, so he helped her out by

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Speaker 1: ordering from her. Why didn't he call me first to

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Speaker 1: see what I wanted? Do I need to find the

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Speaker 1: new girl that caters food or is it someone else?

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Speaker 1: Why has my husband's attitude changed. Well, it doesn't sound

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Speaker 1: like it's changed much. It sounds like he's been the

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Speaker 1: same person throughout your marriage. Who said he could be

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Speaker 1: the sweetest man or the most annoying person in the world,

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Speaker 1: depending on his mood.

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Speaker 3: You said that.

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Speaker 1: Now you're asking about outside influences. If you mean another woman, Yes,

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Speaker 1: it most certainly can be that, and it could be

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Speaker 1: this catering woman. I mean, but it really sounds like

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Speaker 1: something you should be asking him and not us, not

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Speaker 1: Steve and I. But again, you should be asking your husband,

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Speaker 1: like I said, because why are you so afraid to

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Speaker 1: talk to this man? You're afraid? It sounds like and

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Speaker 1: it doesn't sound like he likes you at all. He

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Speaker 1: doesn't want to hear what you have to say. He's

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Speaker 1: ignoring you in the house with his AirPods in so

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Speaker 1: so far the way it's been going, you say something,

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Speaker 1: he shuts you down with his response.

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Speaker 2: Who gave him that power? You did?

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Speaker 1: I mean, what's wrong with you asking him certain questions?

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Speaker 1: And who is he that he won't answer you? Or

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Speaker 1: is he Why is he trying to make you feel

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Speaker 1: badly for asking the questions in the first place. This

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Speaker 1: is a controlling situation.

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Speaker 2: On his part.

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Speaker 1: I think because he's got you scared to say anything

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Speaker 1: to him. You got to speak up. You have a voice.

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Speaker 1: You got to change the narrative here. Let him know

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Speaker 1: how you feel and what you want. Make it about

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Speaker 1: you sometimes not always about him.

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Speaker 4: Steve Well, this lader right here has a few angles

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Speaker 4: to it. I will tell you this right here. He

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Speaker 4: don't like you. Let me just go get that out

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Speaker 4: the way. He don't really like you. And I'm going

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Speaker 4: to help you understand something about women. So women pay

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Speaker 4: attention because I think this is going to help a

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Speaker 4: lot of you. Because I've heard this before this Stephen Shelley.

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Speaker 4: My husband can be the sweetest man or the most

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Speaker 4: annoying person in the world.

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Speaker 3: I'm not talking about that part.

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Speaker 4: Right there, depending on his mood, if he feels like talking,

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Speaker 4: he doesn't.

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Speaker 3: On his turns.

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Speaker 4: Most men are not as talkative as women overall as

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Speaker 4: a whole. That's just and I'm not being sexist. It's

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Speaker 4: just most men are normally not as talkative as most women.

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Speaker 4: Now are there exceptions to that, of course it is,

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Speaker 4: but I'm just making a general statement for the most part,

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Speaker 4: so that's not uncommon.

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Speaker 3: Here's the problem.

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Speaker 4: In this letter starting, I share tid bits of my

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Speaker 4: workday with him and we talk about that together. But

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Speaker 4: if I ask him how his day was, he says

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Speaker 4: everything was fine or eventful that day. He don't share

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Speaker 4: any positive his personal life, and it sounds strange to

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Speaker 4: say that. Well, let me start with this. When you

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Speaker 4: say you share tid.

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Speaker 5: Bits of your day and we talk about it, and

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Speaker 5: then when you ask him how the day was he

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Speaker 5: said thing was fine or uneventful.

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Speaker 4: Why is that happening? Because you take up all the

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Speaker 4: time to her, but you know how many tea had

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Speaker 4: been cheating brought up and you take up all the

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Speaker 4: dog on talk time. Then when you ask him how

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Speaker 4: his day went, he go, I'm fine, everything was good.

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Speaker 3: It wasn't It ain't nothing happening, just wasn't eventful.

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Speaker 4: How many women go through this, I can promise you

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Speaker 4: a lot, because ladies, you don't even see how you

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Speaker 4: come across with that. And I'm not blaming you, I'm

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Speaker 4: just you don't you're not aware of these tidbits that

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Speaker 4: you talk about. It don't really be bits and it

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Speaker 4: don't be tieds because y'all have to verbalize things and

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Speaker 4: you take up the time. So in defense of him,

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Speaker 4: it's you, just you. You're talking too much, and it's

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Speaker 4: after work, and the man want to talk about his work.

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Speaker 3: He just ain't. So that part is okay. Now, the

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Speaker 3: rest of the letter is not good. He doesn't share

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Speaker 3: any parts of his personal life.

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Speaker 4: And that sounds strange to say that because I thought

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Speaker 4: management that we had the same personal life.

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Speaker 3: Who told you that? That's not what that means.

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Speaker 4: You cannot have the same personal life as your mate.

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Speaker 4: Who told you that you have to always have some

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Speaker 4: form of individuality in order for the marriage to work.

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Speaker 4: Nobody wants to be tied to the hip with somebody

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Speaker 4: the rest of their life.

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Speaker 3: Everybody finna do that?

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Speaker 2: Hang on, Hang on, Steve.

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Speaker 4: I want to go to you something. My wife gonna

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Speaker 4: do something. We can't do everything together. I don't want

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Speaker 4: you playing golf.

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Speaker 1: We'll have part two of your response coming up at

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Speaker 1: twenty three minutes after the hour Today's Strawberry Letters subject

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Speaker 1: does he have an outside influence? We'll get back into

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Speaker 1: it right after this. You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show.

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Speaker 1: All right, Steve, come on, let's recap today's strawberry letter.

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Speaker 1: The subject is does he have an outside influence?

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Speaker 4: I don't know if he has an outside influence, but

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Speaker 4: this man don't like you, so let's get to this letter.

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Speaker 3: Either.

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Speaker 4: Your husband could be the sweetest person in the world,

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Speaker 4: the most annoying depends.

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Speaker 3: On his mood.

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Speaker 4: Uh. He only likes to talk on his terms. But

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Speaker 4: here's what she said in the letter. I shed tidbits

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Speaker 4: on my work day with him and talk about it together.

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Speaker 4: But I asked him how his work day was, as

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Speaker 4: he say, everything was fine and it wasn't none eventful.

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Speaker 4: And I'm telling her that's because you use up all

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Speaker 4: the time with all your tidbits. By the time you

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Speaker 4: cover the eight nine tid bits that happen to you

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Speaker 4: all day. He don't want talk no more. It's after work.

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Speaker 3: I'm off.

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Speaker 4: I don't want to talk about my job. I want

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Speaker 4: to leave my job at the house. That's all that is.

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Speaker 4: But now let's move on. And then she said that

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Speaker 4: sounds kind of strange to her because I thought marriage

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Speaker 4: meant that we had the same personal life. Lady who

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Speaker 4: told you that marriage does not mean you have the

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Speaker 4: same personal life. That means you come together, join together

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Speaker 4: in the marriage to be a benefit and a help

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Speaker 4: to one another, to plange your love to somebody, and

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Speaker 4: to help you all reach a common goal, and to

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Speaker 4: live your life together and.

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Speaker 3: Have a family. That's marriage. Should you have a personal

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Speaker 3: life of your own, you absolutely should.

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Speaker 4: Now things that your wife should do that she don't

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Speaker 4: want you involved in, and you don't want to be

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Speaker 4: involved in. And there's some things that you do that

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Speaker 4: your wife don't need to be involved in it. You

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Speaker 4: don't want to involved in it. I don't want my

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Speaker 4: wife smoking cigars me and my friend. I don't want

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Speaker 4: my wife coming to play golf with me. Every time

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Speaker 4: she tells me, I'm gonna take some golf lessons. I

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Speaker 4: changed the subject.

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Speaker 2: What are you change it to?

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Speaker 3: Just anything? Shopping? Okay, let's do something you like that,

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Speaker 3: and then that's it.

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Speaker 4: And come on, now, she got her friends they gonna

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Speaker 4: have They tease their little wines and stuff.

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Speaker 3: Me and my friend smoke cigarets and play golf. That's it.

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Speaker 4: And fish that she fishes with me. But that's it

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Speaker 4: all right now. Then he has a different opinion. And

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Speaker 4: when I ask him what's going on, he tells me

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Speaker 4: that I'm nosy. Are nagging him? Nagging, ladies, I wrote

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Speaker 4: in the book, And I will remind you what nagging is.

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Speaker 3: Nagging is tone and timing.

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Speaker 4: That's all it is. So it could be the way

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Speaker 4: you bringing it up, in the tone you use it to.

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Speaker 4: It could be. But your man don't really care for you.

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Speaker 3: We fin to get into that.

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Speaker 4: As a married man, he rolled through a new neighborhood

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Speaker 4: and took pictures of three homes. And I saw the

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Speaker 4: pictures on his phone. So he took pictures of three

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Speaker 4: houses he liked. Now you saw him on his phone.

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Speaker 4: Now guess what. I can't ask him about him because

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Speaker 4: he would have a fit and start hiding his phone again.

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Speaker 4: Wait a minute, what you mean hiding his phone again.

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Speaker 4: You've been going through the man's phone. So now he

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Speaker 4: done took the pictures of three houses he liked. That's

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Speaker 4: all it was. Man, lady, come on, you got to

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Speaker 4: pull up you too much. You're overreacting a little bit here.

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Speaker 4: But maybe not because he don't like you. He always

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Speaker 4: has his ab pods in and he walks around the

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Speaker 4: house on the phone. I dare not ask him who

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Speaker 4: he's talking to because he will embarrass me while he's

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Speaker 4: on the phone.

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Speaker 3: He don't like you, this dude just walking around the house.

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Speaker 3: What you talking? What you're talking to? See, I'm on

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Speaker 3: the phone. Let me talk on the phone. I don't

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Speaker 3: bother you when you're on the phone.

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Speaker 4: Now you're over there in the corner going I didn't

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Speaker 4: mean all that, and I'm waiting a minute. I have

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Speaker 4: walked in on him pleasuring himself and call me crazy,

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Speaker 4: but I think he was on the phone with another

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Speaker 4: woman while he was doing it.

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Speaker 1: Now he probably was, if you're being honest, I'm.

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Speaker 4: Just gonna be real with child. You know I can't.

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Speaker 4: I can't help him here. I I won't just go

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Speaker 4: out and say that.

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Speaker 3: That's probably what will happen.

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Speaker 2: That helped for sure?

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Speaker 3: Right it is?

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Speaker 4: You know?

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Speaker 3: Okay?

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Speaker 4: It makes me think he has an outside influence that's

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Speaker 4: making him act like this towards me, lady.

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Speaker 3: How many how much information you need? He don't talk

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Speaker 3: to you.

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Speaker 4: He keep his abb buzz in every time you say

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Speaker 4: something to him, taking pictures of three houses, and he

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Speaker 4: ain't mentioned the houses to you. He on the phone

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Speaker 4: pleasuring himself. You think he talking to a woman? Call

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Speaker 4: me crazy. I think he got outside influence making him

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Speaker 4: act him. The final straw for me was him coming

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Speaker 4: home with a trailer Jumbali and a trail of seafood posse.

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Speaker 4: And he said that the girl he met recently had

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Speaker 4: a new catering company, so he after out by ordering

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Speaker 4: from her. That sounds fair. Why didn't he call me

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Speaker 4: first to see what I wanted?

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Speaker 3: He don't like you. He don't care what you want.

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Speaker 3: I be telling her. I tell you, he don't even

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Speaker 3: talk to you. You gonna eat what I bring home.

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Speaker 3: I bought a trail of it.

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Speaker 4: Eat this right here. I don't even like you. Matter

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Speaker 4: of fact, I don't even care what you want.

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Speaker 2: Your comments do?

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Speaker 3: I need to find this new girl that caters to food. Okay,

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Speaker 3: go over there.

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Speaker 4: Why is my husband attitude change? It ain't changed. He'd

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Speaker 4: been the same through the whole letter.

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Speaker 1: Yeah on Instagram and Facebook. Thank you Steve and Steve

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Speaker 1: Harvey an watch.

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Speaker 2: You check us out.

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Speaker 1: It's at the Strawberry Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio.

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Speaker 3: Do you want to divorce?

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Speaker 2: You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.