Speaker 1: Money does not make you mature.
Speaker 2: M that's a fact. And raising four black young men,
Speaker 2: I'm hypersensitive about the things that they're watching and exposed
Speaker 2: to and possibly overexposed to. So we have to put
Speaker 2: parenting on a hundred All right, dead asss Hey, I'm
Speaker 2: Kadeen and I'm Devout and we're the Ellis's.
Speaker 1: You may know us from posting funny videos with our.
Speaker 2: Boys and reading each other publicly as a form of therapy. Wait,
Speaker 2: I make you need therapy most days.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 2: And one more important thing to mention, we're married.
Speaker 1: Yes, sir, we are.
Speaker 3: We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of
Speaker 3: li's most taboo topics.
Speaker 2: Things most folks don't want to talk about.
Speaker 1: Through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead ass
Speaker 1: is a term that we say every day.
Speaker 3: So when we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts
Speaker 3: one hundred, the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but
Speaker 3: the truth.
Speaker 1: We about to take pilot off to our whole new level.
Speaker 2: Dead ass starts right now.
Speaker 1: So, as you guys know, I play in the NFL
Speaker 1: for four years.
Speaker 3: During that time, I met a lot of interesting characters.
Speaker 3: Being in an NFL locker room is very different. During
Speaker 3: the time when I was there, I happened to play
Speaker 3: with a lot of men who made a lot of
Speaker 3: money because the Detroit Lions were always drafting extremely high because.
Speaker 1: They lost a lot.
Speaker 3: So you're in the locker room with a ton of
Speaker 3: first round draft picks. And during that time, I remember
Speaker 3: seeing a lot of young men who after doing two
Speaker 3: to three years in college. I say two to three
Speaker 3: years because if you read short and that you did
Speaker 3: two years or you played three years straight as a freshman,
Speaker 3: you're really only twenty one and you're signing deals upwards
Speaker 3: of twenty million dollars guaranteed as a top ten draft
Speaker 3: pick in the NFL. And I watched a lot of
Speaker 3: young men do some destructive things during that time.
Speaker 1: And I just watched all of the chatter of so
Speaker 1: many people. You're like, wow, they do that.
Speaker 3: He's making money out of you do it making money,
Speaker 3: And it made me realize it doesn't matter if you
Speaker 3: give an immature twenty one, twenty two year old a
Speaker 3: dollar or a million dollars, they gonna do something fucked
Speaker 3: up with it.
Speaker 2: That's a fact.
Speaker 1: And I watched it firsthand.
Speaker 2: I don't know what they want for me It's like
Speaker 2: the more money we cover across the problem we see. Now,
Speaker 2: what's the next part? Who hot? Oh?
Speaker 1: Oh, that's I'm thinking. I'm thinking Diddy's part of my back.
Speaker 2: Who hot? Who not tell me who set out in
Speaker 2: the stores?
Speaker 1: You're telling me? Whoop? Who capped the blue drop? Jews got?
Speaker 1: Who mostly knows s pimp?
Speaker 2: You know anything changed with my lips?
Speaker 3: Can't stop to your name on the black guarantee you yourself?
Speaker 3: Whn't believe in hall the world, the double up.
Speaker 2: We don't play around bad down didn't know me.
Speaker 3: No one they know me.
Speaker 1: Now I'm the young nigga with the goldens down.
Speaker 2: Can't can hold me? Dad e sciom me to the game.
Speaker 3: Do this.
Speaker 1: All right?
Speaker 3: All right, shout out all the world, Diddy.
Speaker 2: Sometimes we be aging ourselves like we.
Speaker 1: Do because I don't even remember the words no more.
Speaker 2: That's a fact. You know. We got a It's not
Speaker 2: like riding a bike like they said it would be. Yes,
Speaker 2: remember these song lyrics. All right, we're talking about what
Speaker 2: makes a mature man, and I don't know the least
Speaker 2: you have to tell us the vow. Let's pay some
Speaker 2: bills and come back and we'll talk we'll talk some
Speaker 2: current events stuff. All right, we're back. Yes, story time,
Speaker 2: you're talking about the characters that you met in the NFL,
Speaker 2: and particularly this episode, we will be talking about the
Speaker 2: Jahn Morant situation going on, and that's been in the
Speaker 2: news lately about some of the some saying immature decisions
Speaker 2: that he's been making, and what we're thinking is behind
Speaker 2: the this is driving force behind those types of decisions
Speaker 2: just in general. So you can speak to this as
Speaker 2: a male, as an athlete formerly, and me particularly chiming
Speaker 2: in as a mom raising for boys.
Speaker 3: Right, there's a lot to unpack here, right, And the
Speaker 3: first thing I want to unpack is this idea that
Speaker 3: John Morant, because he went to a private school and
Speaker 3: grew up with both his parents, a lot of people
Speaker 3: question his blackness. Remember we talked about this, like your
Speaker 3: blackness has to be associated with struggle, because if you
Speaker 3: didn't struggle at a certain part in life, then you're not.
Speaker 2: Really that How how authentic is your story really?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 3: Or you're not hood if you didn't grow up in
Speaker 3: a different type of environment.
Speaker 1: Now here's the truth, right.
Speaker 3: Being in the streets and proximity to the streets is
Speaker 3: two different things right from what we know, I don't
Speaker 3: know much about John Moran's life. I don't I know
Speaker 3: he grew up with both of his parents. His dad
Speaker 3: is clearly in his life because he's at every game.
Speaker 3: They said he went to private school. Let me tell
Speaker 3: you something about going to private school. When I was
Speaker 3: at poly Prep. When I retired from the NFL, I
Speaker 3: coached at poly Prep for two years. I watched as
Speaker 3: they recruited young kids from the inner cities to go
Speaker 3: to poly Prep, but they didn't live around poly Prep.
Speaker 3: And the reason why I say that is because all
Speaker 3: these people who are saying, oh, he went to private school,
Speaker 3: he not hood understand this. Every year poly Prep we
Speaker 3: recruited five elite athletes who were on scholarship. Poly Prep
Speaker 3: was a forty thousand dollars a year school, and a
Speaker 3: part of going to this school and playing football for
Speaker 3: the school was that they were going to pay because
Speaker 3: your parents couldn't afford give you a better opportunity.
Speaker 2: So they were busting them into Dyker Heights.
Speaker 3: Pretty much busting them into Dyker Heights, but they did
Speaker 3: not live in Dyker Heights, and a lot of these
Speaker 3: young men were not from Dyker heights. So this idea
Speaker 3: that since you go to a private school, your life
Speaker 3: wasn't rough, it's just a facade. It's fake and people
Speaker 3: are just talking out their ass. That's number one. Number two,
Speaker 3: the idea that you live in a private house means
Speaker 3: that you can't be street.
Speaker 1: Another fake, another facade.
Speaker 3: Because I grew up in Canarsi, the flaws right, pop
Speaker 3: Smoke grew up in Canarsi and the flaws.
Speaker 1: I grew up with both my parents, right.
Speaker 3: I still had to go from Canarsi all the way
Speaker 3: to Marine Park to go to school, which means I
Speaker 3: had to get on that school bus and I had
Speaker 3: to travel on that Not school, I had to go
Speaker 3: on a city bus, and I had to travel on
Speaker 3: the B eighty two forty five minutes every morning by myself.
Speaker 3: And I was doing that from the time I was
Speaker 3: thirteen years old. My brother went to roy Age Man
Speaker 3: He's been traveling on the bus on his own since
Speaker 3: he was ten years old. The things you learn on
Speaker 3: that bus ride have nothing to do with where you
Speaker 3: reside at night. The things you do during the day
Speaker 3: and where you frequent have nothing to do with where
Speaker 3: you reside at night. The idea that because Jamar grew
Speaker 3: up in a private house. I went to a private school,
Speaker 3: and can't be street is a facade. Lastly, the idea
Speaker 3: that you grew up with both your parents means that
Speaker 3: you cannot be hood is a facade. I grew up
Speaker 3: with both my parents. I know plenty of people who
Speaker 3: grew up with both their parents. You know what both
Speaker 3: their parents did all day work and you know where
Speaker 3: them kids were in the streets, in the streets. And
Speaker 3: it wasn't because yes, and it wasn't because their parents
Speaker 3: weren't good people. It wasn't because their parents weren't giving
Speaker 3: them a good opportunity. But if you grew up like
Speaker 3: I grew up in Brooklyn, yeah, you may grow up
Speaker 3: in a private house with both your parents in Brooklyn,
Speaker 3: but from eight o'clock in the morning till six pm,
Speaker 3: sometimes seven pm, if your parents worked like my parents, you.
Speaker 2: Were on your own lifesses.
Speaker 3: And my parents told me, you come straight from home,
Speaker 3: you in school, You come straight from school, you go inside,
Speaker 3: you go home.
Speaker 1: You know what I did, went straight from school to
Speaker 1: the street.
Speaker 3: I was with my peoples, I was with my boys,
Speaker 3: We was playing, I was outside, I was.
Speaker 2: Doing all sorts getting home by any means necessary, all
Speaker 2: of us friendly, Oh this that, And.
Speaker 3: We grew up during a time when there were no
Speaker 3: cell phones and there was no social media, there was
Speaker 3: no technology to track you. So this idea that Jama
Speaker 3: rent because of all these things we know about his
Speaker 3: life can't be street is fake.
Speaker 1: That's not real.
Speaker 3: There are plenty of people who grew up in that
Speaker 3: type of environment who have a lot more street sense
Speaker 3: in savvy than other people who you proclaim grew up
Speaker 3: in certain areas. For example, I have a homegirl grew
Speaker 3: up in the projects, never been outside. You want to
Speaker 3: know why her single mom told her black ass she
Speaker 3: could not go outside. And this young lady, I don't
Speaker 3: want to say her name, is probably one of the
Speaker 3: most sheltered people. And she grew up in the projects
Speaker 3: because her mom made a choice to keep her away
Speaker 3: from all the elements outside of her. And if you
Speaker 3: would look at her, and you look at the way
Speaker 3: I grew up, I was in the street, made way
Speaker 3: more than her. I grew up in the church, in
Speaker 3: a dual family, dual parent household, in a private home,
Speaker 3: with every opportunity to be successful.
Speaker 1: When I was still in the street because I was.
Speaker 2: Just, what is the desire to have that street, to
Speaker 2: be in the mix? Is it just something growing up?
Speaker 2: You feel like you're missing something because you know me,
Speaker 2: I grew up. Also, yeah, you go to Gary Shelter
Speaker 2: like I'm not going past my front gate, go to school,
Speaker 2: get picked up, dropped off like there was no room
Speaker 2: for me really to be you know, go astray. So
Speaker 2: what is the desire to be in the street.
Speaker 1: I don't.
Speaker 3: I don't think it's a desire. I think it's like,
Speaker 3: what else are you gonna do? You're you know, you
Speaker 3: want to spend time with your friends. As a child,
Speaker 3: what is more important than you than your friends?
Speaker 1: Nothing?
Speaker 3: Nothing is more important. If all of my friends are outside,
Speaker 3: then I'm going outside. And my parents gave my brother
Speaker 3: and I and my sisters were enough latitude to navigate
Speaker 3: the streets on our own.
Speaker 1: So I learned how to use tokens. This is before
Speaker 1: metro card.
Speaker 3: I learned how to use tokens and travel on the
Speaker 3: train and the bus from the time I was very
Speaker 3: very young. My aunt Debbie used to take me and
Speaker 3: my cousin DeVaughn on the train from as young as
Speaker 3: five and six years old, and when I got old
Speaker 3: enough to travel on my own, which is people say
Speaker 3: times are different now, but they really aren't that different.
Speaker 3: I was traveling on the city bus from ten double digits.
Speaker 3: Was like, okay, double digits, you can traveling on. You
Speaker 3: know how to get here, you know how to read
Speaker 3: the map. So my environment in my house were two
Speaker 3: different things. My house and where I lived was one thing.
Speaker 3: But my environment and where I grew up was in
Speaker 3: Flatbush between Church. I grew up between the streets of
Speaker 3: Church and I would say King's Highway, that whole area
Speaker 3: between Nasareth Regional High School, Erasmus High School, clar Salem
Speaker 3: Missionary Baptist Church, Tennis Court. That was all of my neighborhood.
Speaker 3: That's why I spent most of my time see and.
Speaker 2: My mother would have never And now at that point
Speaker 2: I was living in Kannarsi, which was known to be
Speaker 2: the private houses in Knarsi. So that's where you know,
Speaker 2: your hardworking middle class you know Brooklyn Iights would be.
Speaker 2: But then what about this conflict that you've mentioned recently
Speaker 2: with wanting to first off, we've moved our children from there, yes,
Speaker 2: and now we're you know, in the suburbs of Atlanta,
Speaker 2: but then also wanting your kids to have that street edge,
Speaker 2: So like, why is that still a thing that you
Speaker 2: need to have, particularly as a male.
Speaker 1: It's a good question. To me.
Speaker 3: It wasn't so much about street edge. It was more
Speaker 3: about awareness. I want I want my sons to know
Speaker 3: how to navigate the world. Okay, I learned how to
Speaker 3: navigate the world through the street. Imagine being ten years
Speaker 3: old and you get lost on the subway, you know.
Speaker 3: Imagine being ten years old and you lose your wallet.
Speaker 3: You have no money, but you have to get home.
Speaker 3: You find ways, you know, you learn how to maneuver
Speaker 3: and pivot, and you learn how not to be scared
Speaker 3: because you've dealt with so much at a young age.
Speaker 3: I don't want to coddle my son so much that
Speaker 3: when they get out in the world and I'm not
Speaker 3: there for the first time, they don't know how.
Speaker 2: To move walking around looking like target. Yes, yes, that
Speaker 2: kind of sense.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And when I think about the whole John Morant situation,
Speaker 3: here's another aspect that people don't think about. I grew
Speaker 3: up in Brooklyn. I have tons of friends who do
Speaker 3: not live the same type of life I live. And
Speaker 3: when I mean life. I'm talking about the legal life
Speaker 3: that I live. They have a different type of life.
Speaker 3: And when you're twenty two and you have that group
Speaker 3: of friends that's still around you, and now you're the
Speaker 3: one that's in the spotlight. Those behaviors that you practiced
Speaker 3: when you were in high school in early college, those
Speaker 3: don't stop just because you're making millions of dollars. You
Speaker 3: know what happens, there's just now a greater spotlight on you.
Speaker 3: So when people are saying, how come he you know
Speaker 3: he's worth one hundred million dollars, why don't he make
Speaker 3: better decisions? I think we need to give this young
Speaker 3: man grace to learn how to make better decisions because
Speaker 3: he's learning how to do it in real time with
Speaker 3: a lot of people watching him. Now, that doesn't excuse
Speaker 3: his behavior, right, for example, going on Live with a pistol. Right,
Speaker 3: people are saying, allegedly, but it was him showing a
Speaker 3: pistol on his live, him getting into physical altercations with kids,
Speaker 3: or quote unquote pulling out pistols allegedly. The only reason
Speaker 3: why I say I can say allegedly is because I
Speaker 3: wasn't there and there's no proof, And I think it's
Speaker 3: an open case, so whatever. So I don't want to
Speaker 3: say this would happen. But what I'm saying is is
Speaker 3: these situations and stuff like this happen all the time,
Speaker 3: and we don't have any Like the outside world doesn't
Speaker 3: see these things happening. But when you have someone who's
Speaker 3: worth a hundred million dollars and the spotlight is always
Speaker 3: on him and he makes the same decisions he's been
Speaker 3: making his whole life and it's been successful making these decisions,
Speaker 3: you can't automatically say now, well, why don't you stop
Speaker 3: this behavior.
Speaker 1: You're worth a hundred million dollars.
Speaker 3: He has to learn that, and sometimes learning that comes
Speaker 3: with consequences, which means like now he gets in trouble,
Speaker 3: gets suspended from the team for two days, has to
Speaker 3: go work on some things with his mental health. Like
Speaker 3: that's learning during the process. I just want us as
Speaker 3: people to give him grace and don't write him off
Speaker 3: as just another stupid athlete or make fun of the
Speaker 3: fact that, well, he grew up with both his parents.
Speaker 1: Why is he trying to act tough?
Speaker 2: So essentially he's making mistakes that all twenty one year
Speaker 2: old makes. Twenty one year olds make but he's on
Speaker 2: the spotlight and be has the money.
Speaker 3: Hey, we went to college together. You've seen a decision
Speaker 3: some of my friends made in college.
Speaker 2: Absolutely with a lot less to lose, you know what
Speaker 2: I'm saying, right, or more in some situations because it's like, man,
Speaker 2: this is my only chance to get out, I'm on
Speaker 2: scholarship if I messed this up, and we've seen so
Speaker 2: many cases like more so, where are the people who
Speaker 2: are walking him through, for example, the high school process,
Speaker 2: the draft process, Like when that essentially is over and
Speaker 2: now he's a quote unquote grown man making his own money,
Speaker 2: making male decisions, does he still have that team of
Speaker 2: people who are there to support him and make sure
Speaker 2: that he's on the straight and narrow or that they
Speaker 2: just just kind of drop off once he makes that
Speaker 2: because they have handlers and people who see them through
Speaker 2: this entire process. And then is it that he's left
Speaker 2: to his own devices once I'm saying he as a
Speaker 2: job like the athlete.
Speaker 3: I'm glad you asked that question, because this is part
Speaker 3: of being an athlete that or even a young entertainer
Speaker 3: that people don't see when you're a prodigy, right and
Speaker 3: you're the person everyone expects is going to be the
Speaker 3: one to make it out right. When you're making poor
Speaker 3: decisions throughout your pre adolescent years, then your adolescent years,
Speaker 3: then in high school when you're making these poor decisions,
Speaker 3: a lot of times you get coddled and people cover
Speaker 3: up for you, so you really don't learn and understand
Speaker 3: consequences because you make a poor decision or you do
Speaker 3: something dumb and then someone else out of know where
Speaker 3: it comes up.
Speaker 1: We got to protect so and so on. Let's sweep
Speaker 1: this under the rod. Let's make this okay.
Speaker 3: So now that person is learning that, oh, I can
Speaker 3: pretty much do what I want, or it's not that
Speaker 3: big of a deal. If they made it go away,
Speaker 3: it's not that big of a deal. So what they
Speaker 3: do repeat the behavior, and then the higher you get
Speaker 3: in that level, like they'll cover for you in junior
Speaker 3: high school. Oh, but now you're being recruited to go
Speaker 3: one of the top high schools, or now they're going
Speaker 3: to cover for you in the high school, especially if
Speaker 3: you go to one of these private schools. A lot
Speaker 3: of times they will cover for and I'm not just
Speaker 3: talking about athletes.
Speaker 1: I worked at poly Prep.
Speaker 3: If you have someone who's generating, generating resources and bringing
Speaker 3: funds to a school.
Speaker 2: For everybody, they're going to cover for you.
Speaker 3: Case in point, at poly Prep, I worked with some
Speaker 3: entertainers who are world renowned their children. Their children were
Speaker 3: on the football team, and I watched those young men
Speaker 3: who are not black, who came from affluent families, who
Speaker 3: came from generations of money, make poor decisions. And you
Speaker 3: know what happened When they made poor decisions, someone covered
Speaker 3: for them. Had nothing to do with being black. These
Speaker 3: people were white and rich and they covered for them.
Speaker 3: But the school covered because their parents bringing me resources.
Speaker 3: Right when you're an athlete and they're paying for your
Speaker 3: tuishing to go to these schools, but also the boosters
Speaker 3: are generating, we're bringing money to the program into the school,
Speaker 3: the school is going to cover for you. So when
Speaker 3: you had make a poor decision in high school and
Speaker 3: they cover for you, then you get to college and
Speaker 3: you're the elite athlete in college and you make another
Speaker 3: poor decision, and now they cover for you because so
Speaker 3: many other people outside of you are invested in your
Speaker 3: success because your success means they gain access.
Speaker 1: To resources and funds.
Speaker 3: It's easy to understand how a young person can then
Speaker 3: become an adult, and now there's no one here to
Speaker 3: buffer for you because you're an adult and you have
Speaker 3: a phone and you're doing the same things you did,
Speaker 3: But now the whole world is condemning you, and people
Speaker 3: think twenty three is grown, twenty three is.
Speaker 2: A baby baby, a baby baby.
Speaker 1: You're making poor decisions.
Speaker 3: Now everyone's like, oh, he got to do better. Where's
Speaker 3: his dad, where's this person. It's a process. Let this
Speaker 3: young man go through the process and learn, and that
Speaker 3: does not excuse his behavior, because his behavior, if he's
Speaker 3: done what they're saying he did, is inexcusable.
Speaker 2: For sure. It's funny you say twenty three is still
Speaker 2: a baby, which, of course know that. Think about us
Speaker 2: at twenty three, we thought we had everything figured out, okay,
Speaker 2: And you've said it before. In your twenties, you think
Speaker 2: you know everything.
Speaker 3: Oh, the same thing. From fifteen to twenty, you think
Speaker 3: you know everything right. From twenty to twenty five, you
Speaker 3: know you know everything. From twenty five to thirty you
Speaker 3: start to realize, like, wait a minute.
Speaker 2: With the trembling voice, I didn't know shit.
Speaker 3: And then you spend all of your thirties trying to
Speaker 3: fix all of the mistakes you made. I said that
Speaker 3: about myself all the time, Like I look back at
Speaker 3: some of the stuff I did in my twenties and
Speaker 3: I'm like, dang, I did that.
Speaker 2: I thought like that when we look at people who
Speaker 2: are twenty something year old, now we're just like y'all
Speaker 2: trying to do what? Like how did we? I know
Speaker 2: that's how our family was looking at us, like y'all
Speaker 2: are crazy, Like ain't you trying to move all the
Speaker 2: way to Detroit to follow your man and you're twenty
Speaker 2: two years old? Like, girl, what are you doing? But
Speaker 2: it's funny because a study commissioned by Nickelodeon UK found
Speaker 2: that men don't reach maturity until forty three. I mean,
Speaker 2: do you think that's accurate or not? I mean, I mean,
Speaker 2: be a little immature.
Speaker 3: I could be a little immature at times, you know
Speaker 3: what I'm saying, So.
Speaker 2: All in the fun but I mean, you know that's
Speaker 2: case the case because you did have a certain level
Speaker 2: of maturity though with a lot of other things, yes,
Speaker 2: early in your twenties than you did. But I guess
Speaker 2: this was.
Speaker 3: Like but I think I think maturity is relative, and
Speaker 3: I think maturity and.
Speaker 1: Awareness are two different things.
Speaker 3: I think I was a little I was a little
Speaker 3: aware of certain things because of how I had to
Speaker 3: live my life, because I pretty much and I don't
Speaker 3: want to say raise myself because my parents were there.
Speaker 3: But being eight and having to get your brother and
Speaker 3: bring him home and help him with his schoolwork and
Speaker 3: do a sort of stuff kind of grew me up fast.
Speaker 3: Traveling on my own from ten and doing all this
Speaker 3: stuff grew me up fast.
Speaker 2: So maybe it's also to not necessarily awareness versus maturity.
Speaker 2: But at a certain age you realize that you're not
Speaker 2: as invincible as you thought you were. Yes, you know,
Speaker 2: like some things you think are not a big deal
Speaker 2: in your twenties, people looking at it in their thirties
Speaker 2: and forties would be like, yeah, that's a big deal.
Speaker 2: Like to chill out, you know what I'm saying. They're
Speaker 2: saying that typically women mature around thirty two. Interesting, and
Speaker 2: when talking about maturity, the science is based on how
Speaker 2: the brain matures. Female brains tend to identify from being
Speaker 2: the moment she was a girl. However, it's not until
Speaker 2: a male begins to produce testosterone that their brains are
Speaker 2: distinguishable from females. Interesting as puberty starts, female brain jumps
Speaker 2: to at least two years older than their physical age,
Speaker 2: whereas males, however, usually take until their late teen years
Speaker 2: or even early twenties to match their female peers mental age.
Speaker 3: Interesting, it kind of goes in line with all the
Speaker 3: older guys that be at the high schools trying to
Speaker 3: get the same girls.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: It's like all them girls in high school think the
Speaker 3: high school boys are so immature, so they want to
Speaker 3: date the old guys. Right, But now we call those
Speaker 3: guys pedophiles. But I remember growing up and that was
Speaker 3: that was the thing all the time.
Speaker 2: The girl Katti, when is he going to grow up?
Speaker 2: Is he going to grow up? You know?
Speaker 3: In there maturity, But maturity and wisdom comes with experience
Speaker 3: and also stepping in it.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I'll give making mistakes. I'll give you an example, right.
Speaker 3: You know how much I love black women, right, My
Speaker 3: mom's black, my aunts, my grandmother's black, like they all black.
Speaker 3: I love black women. I've been supported right by black
Speaker 3: women my whole life. But I remember doing an interview
Speaker 3: with Madame Noir, and I wanted to create a dialogue
Speaker 3: about what pack about what people think.
Speaker 1: So it was called ask a black man. They asked me,
Speaker 1: or do ask a black man?
Speaker 3: And they asked the question, what's the first thing you
Speaker 3: think of when someone says a black woman?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 3: And my first response is, man, people always say black
Speaker 3: women are angry. That's not what I thought, but that's
Speaker 3: the first thing when people say, oh black women. So
Speaker 3: I said, oh, angry, and I'm thinking this is going
Speaker 3: to create dialogue about how people view black women as angry.
Speaker 3: And then the comments people upset, like, oh, you think
Speaker 3: black women are angry? And I said, I never said
Speaker 3: I thought it. The question was framed to me as
Speaker 3: what's the first what's the first thing people think of
Speaker 3: when when you say black women?
Speaker 1: And I was like, angry.
Speaker 3: Let's talk about why people think that, because I wanted
Speaker 3: to have a conversation about how black women had to
Speaker 3: try to find a way to thrive for themselves.
Speaker 2: And I was twenty how old were you at the time?
Speaker 2: Would have never answered that, I don't.
Speaker 1: Think because of experience, And that's my whole reading the room.
Speaker 2: Right, You can't just say can't say that, because what
Speaker 2: they're going to do is take that clip of you
Speaker 2: saying angry and then it goes viral and then exactly
Speaker 2: what happens, But that's black women's angry.
Speaker 3: And that's my point though, was that experience taught me
Speaker 3: how to and it's you know, people call it media training.
Speaker 1: It's not media training.
Speaker 3: It's experience of how to answer questions or how to
Speaker 3: add context to whatever you want to say so that
Speaker 3: people can understand what where you're coming from. But what
Speaker 3: my point is is that that took time. I'm thirty
Speaker 3: eight years old now and I would answer that completely differently.
Speaker 3: But in that time, I was in my mood like
Speaker 3: I'm getting ready to defend why black people, why women
Speaker 3: think black people are angry, and they took it as
Speaker 3: devout things Black women are angry. And when I look
Speaker 3: back on it, I can't even be mad at them
Speaker 3: because when I look back at it, I'm like, that's
Speaker 3: what it seems like I said. But then you would
Speaker 3: have to watch the whole episode to understand where I'm
Speaker 3: coming from. But then even in that, it's like devout,
Speaker 3: Why would you even answer that like that?
Speaker 1: But it took me time.
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying, and that's what I'm trying
Speaker 3: to get people to understand what this situation is that
Speaker 3: he is going to need time to learn how to
Speaker 3: deal with everything that's coming at him, right, Like, everybody
Speaker 3: isn't going to be Lebron James and go.
Speaker 1: Through the NBA unscathed by any scandals.
Speaker 3: Like, first of all, the fact that Lebron James has
Speaker 3: gone through the entire his entire NBA career during the
Speaker 3: social media era with all the scrutiny unscathed is kudos
Speaker 3: to him, right, But also it says a lot about
Speaker 3: how he grew up because he had a single mom,
Speaker 3: he was in the streets a lot, and he had
Speaker 3: to learn on his own. And maybe that's the reason
Speaker 3: why he has a lot more wisdom when it comes
Speaker 3: to doing certain things because he did it on his own.
Speaker 3: If John grew up in a little town where he
Speaker 3: was coddled by his parents and then went to a
Speaker 3: private school, that may be a reason why he doesn't
Speaker 3: understand how his behavior is being perceived so negatively by people.
Speaker 3: And yes, it is being perceived negatively by people for
Speaker 3: a reason, but he has to understand that.
Speaker 2: So think about accountability partners. Right. Lebron, for example, had
Speaker 2: Savannah that he grew up with literally since there were babies.
Speaker 2: You and I have each other who has literally grown
Speaker 2: up since we were babies together. Do you think it
Speaker 2: helps to have somebody if it's not a partner, but
Speaker 2: just someone who's that accountability partner, that might be that
Speaker 2: person on your shoulder, Like, don't do that because you know,
Speaker 2: because you said, you feel like you've been a lot
Speaker 2: more successful having, for example, a woman by your side
Speaker 2: who has helped to keep you afloat. Do you think
Speaker 2: that that is something that would benefit from other people.
Speaker 3: No, I think you got to be your own accountability
Speaker 3: partner and be aware because this that happens when you
Speaker 3: have accountability partner. If your accountability partner misses something, now
Speaker 3: you have somebody to blame. Well, you're supposed to be
Speaker 3: the one to check me on that. No, you have
Speaker 3: to go through stuff in life, and here's the sad truth.
Speaker 3: Sometimes you got to hit rock bottom.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Right. For example, the thing with me and the interview.
Speaker 3: After people saying, oh, don't like black women and he
Speaker 3: hates black women. Because of that statement, I had to
Speaker 3: really reflect and be like, I answered that so wrong.
Speaker 3: But it took me having to deal with that. If
Speaker 3: I had an accountability as someone else who was on
Speaker 3: my shoulder, who was just like, if I don't say that,
Speaker 3: because they're going to take it like this, and I
Speaker 3: just listened. That would work until that person is no
Speaker 3: longer there. I had to learn and go through that
Speaker 3: on my own, realize how you hurt people, Realize how
Speaker 3: what you say and what you do is not always
Speaker 3: what you mean, but how people perceive it and how
Speaker 3: they take it matters. And sometimes it takes you going
Speaker 3: through that to realize it. So I don't believe in
Speaker 3: the accountability partner thing. When it comes to being responded
Speaker 3: for yourself. You have to deal with it, go through
Speaker 3: the fire like he's going through the fire now. And
Speaker 3: I guarantee you because if you actually listen to John
Speaker 3: Morantz speak, he's a very intelligent person.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 3: He may not be the most eloquent or articulate at
Speaker 3: times because once again he's still very very young. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but he's not stupid, you know what I'm saying. You
Speaker 3: can tell he's not stupid because he ain't come a
Speaker 3: run here, like I don't give a fuck, I don't
Speaker 3: care he's not. He's taking his time, you know what
Speaker 3: I'm saying. He's being patient with it. But I'm telling you,
Speaker 3: if he goes back and watch some of the things
Speaker 3: he's done over the last couple of years, and then
Speaker 3: he's gonna be like, you know what, I could do
Speaker 3: this better. I could handle this level of professionalism and
Speaker 3: celebrity better. And that's what I want to implore people
Speaker 3: to do with him. But also, if you have children,
Speaker 3: and this is where I want to talk to you
Speaker 3: a little bit, because you and I have dealt with
Speaker 3: this with Jackson, I want to implore people to let
Speaker 3: their children make mistakes young when the stakes are and
Speaker 3: as high.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the philosophy that you've taken on. Because for me,
Speaker 2: naturally being mom, you know, I want to see him
Speaker 2: about to full. I want to catch him, you know.
Speaker 2: I want to make sure that they try to get
Speaker 2: through most of their life unscathed. Right. And I've learned
Speaker 2: with each son progressively, and it's been a learning process
Speaker 2: to allow them the space to have some mistakes, for
Speaker 2: example Jackson, Right. And we can use Jackson as an
Speaker 2: example most of the time. It's because he's our oldest
Speaker 2: and we've gone through the.
Speaker 1: Most with him.
Speaker 2: And how I would have handled differently this one scenario
Speaker 2: in the past Jackson has a virtual class that he
Speaker 2: has to do online, right, virtual math class in order
Speaker 2: for him to advance because he's so far ahead with math.
Speaker 2: So we have a meeting with the teacher on FaceTime.
Speaker 2: Set him up for everything, make sure that he has
Speaker 2: everything to set him up for success with this particular course. Now,
Speaker 2: what it's requiring him to do is to do work
Speaker 2: outside of the school setting because he could have had
Speaker 2: the option to go to attend a class in person
Speaker 2: during this, But who wants to go to some school, right,
Speaker 2: I'm not subjecting my kid to that. Am not subjecting
Speaker 2: me to that. I'll put it that way. Okay, I'm
Speaker 2: not sticking around for you to take a math class
Speaker 2: in the summer. We're gonna it virtually because why, I'm
Speaker 2: also trying to teach time management skills. Old Kadeen after
Speaker 2: this meeting with his teacher would have been like a hawk, right, Jackson,
Speaker 2: did you do Jackson? Is this date is assignments due? Jackson?
Speaker 2: Do you finished? Did you talk to your teacher? And
Speaker 2: I would have been side emailing the teacher like, hey,
Speaker 2: where's Jackson in the process with this? That's Kadeen. A
Speaker 2: couple of years ago, Kadeen now in trying to teach
Speaker 2: accountability and trying to teach times management and trying to
Speaker 2: teach a lesson. Overall, here are all the tools you
Speaker 2: have to be successful with this course. Every now and again.
Speaker 2: Hey Jackson, you know, how's the virtual math class going? Okay?
Speaker 2: Are you all caught up? Everything is good? Help?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Thatah?
Speaker 1: Yeah we were good.
Speaker 2: Yeah, my gosh, gosh, I'm good.
Speaker 1: Good. Yeah, I know.
Speaker 2: Oh you know if you have problems and stuff, you
Speaker 2: know you can hit right good?
Speaker 1: Got you?
Speaker 2: I know you have a free day Sunday. You know
Speaker 2: you want to put in an hour or two?
Speaker 1: No, because I don't need to do that. Almost off,
Speaker 1: my gosh, I got I got it, I got it.
Speaker 2: Fast forward to when the first module is supposed to
Speaker 2: be over and the teacher sends an email with me
Speaker 2: cc done it. Hey, you just wanted to touch base
Speaker 2: because you know, with the end of the module is
Speaker 2: coming near and out of the ten assignments, Jackson is
Speaker 2: only completed two of the ten MM. Then she called
Speaker 2: me as a follow up to the email. Don't have
Speaker 2: no teacher calling my phone.
Speaker 1: That that is your rule.
Speaker 2: Don't have to get the email by my phone. But
Speaker 2: don't be calling and texting me sis because now why
Speaker 2: I'm looking at my son's sideways because in me trying
Speaker 2: to be hands off to teach him a lesson, ultimately
Speaker 2: it taught him the lesson. So now Deval and I
Speaker 2: have in the conversation with Valda is like a side
Speaker 2: a side convo with him, like, Yo, what's going on
Speaker 2: with your math class?
Speaker 3: I was very simple. I said, yeah, what's going on
Speaker 3: with your math class? And he goes, huh. Anytime you
Speaker 3: ask the kid a direct question and looked them in
Speaker 3: the eye and looking at you when they first response
Speaker 3: is hunh, that means they already know that they fucked up.
Speaker 3: That's what's going on with your math? He first says
Speaker 3: to me. I understand it, Jackson. I don't want to
Speaker 3: hear that because I've heard your mom ask you many
Speaker 3: times if you needed help and stuff and you dismissed
Speaker 3: a verson got it in now that his eyes are
Speaker 3: well en up, So I'm like, what's the matter matter?
Speaker 3: I'm just upset because my math grade. What's what's your math?
Speaker 3: I don't know yet, but I missed some assignments. Cool,
Speaker 3: you're supposed to go to the city championship game for
Speaker 3: Cardinal Hayes with Jay on Sunday.
Speaker 1: Right, Yes, Okay, it's Friday.
Speaker 3: If all of those assignments aren't made up, can't go
Speaker 3: bro Like I'm not I'm not upset at you. I'm
Speaker 3: You're gonna make mistakes or make poor decisions, so I'm
Speaker 3: not angry. Your mother is not angry. But there are
Speaker 3: also consequences for not doing what you're supposed to do,
Speaker 3: so you're gonna have to find time to make these
Speaker 3: assignments up before Sunday. He's huffing and puffing. Huffing and puffing. Hey,
Speaker 3: you can huffing and puff for all you want, but
Speaker 3: these are the consequences.
Speaker 1: I'm not mad.
Speaker 3: If you want to go watch TV, we could also
Speaker 3: go watch TV. If you want to play, we could
Speaker 3: do that. But you have to decide this young man
Speaker 3: on Saturday night. No, it's Friday nights. Sits down with me, Dad.
Speaker 3: Can we go over these two?
Speaker 1: All right?
Speaker 3: We went over the two, set a scheduled appointment with
Speaker 3: his tu to Roger, and got six assignments done. The
Speaker 3: next day early in the morning. He woke up early
Speaker 3: on a Saturday when he had a long four day
Speaker 3: weekend and got all the assignments done early in the
Speaker 3: day on Saturday, and then finished the last one Saturday night.
Speaker 3: The point of the story is when you allow kids
Speaker 3: to fail when the stakes aren't as high, they learn
Speaker 3: how to maneuver and navigate. Because this same kid, if
Speaker 3: you'd always been on his back and I made sure
Speaker 3: the work gets done, and you do this and do that,
Speaker 3: because I've seen it happen in college. Now you're a
Speaker 3: freshman in college, and now it's time for eligibility going
Speaker 3: into sophomore year, and you have a zero point six
Speaker 3: GPA because you didn't do any assignments. And the only
Speaker 3: reason why I'm telling this story is because Marcus tells
Speaker 3: the story All the time. I watched Marcus coasting. Marcus
Speaker 3: had a zero point six GPA going into his sophomore
Speaker 3: year and almost miss camp because he had to take
Speaker 3: sixteen credits in the summertime.
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, I had no idea.
Speaker 3: But since he had to take sixteen credits in the summertime,
Speaker 3: he was out of shape because he couldn't do summer conditioning.
Speaker 1: We get back to camp. What happened.
Speaker 3: Marcus gets hurt because his body's out of shape. So
Speaker 3: with sophomore year was what trash and it all started
Speaker 3: because he didn't do what he had to do academically
Speaker 3: his freshman year and try to play catch up more
Speaker 3: all of the story. Teach your kids how to deal
Speaker 3: with consequences when the stakes aren't is high, so that
Speaker 3: when mistakes become high, they don't have to deal with
Speaker 3: the consequences.
Speaker 2: For sure.
Speaker 3: You'd rather get a call from a teacher in middle school, yes,
Speaker 3: then get a call from your child when the dean
Speaker 3: says he can no longer come to school because he's
Speaker 3: behaved poorly, or when you see him on an ESPN
Speaker 3: ticker and he's been kicked out of the league because
Speaker 3: he's making poor decisions. You'd rather get them conversations when
Speaker 3: they're in middle school.
Speaker 2: And I explain that to the teacher as well too,
Speaker 2: because I'm also very hyper aware of the fact that
Speaker 2: my son is a black child. She knows that we're
Speaker 2: black because we was on FaceTime together, right, yes, And
Speaker 2: I never want her to feel like, oh, it's just
Speaker 2: another like black kid that's just not not being supported,
Speaker 2: not being supported by his family. So that's to his
Speaker 2: own devices. So I was very clear and eloquently expressed
Speaker 2: to the teacher that after the FaceTime Jackson, I had
Speaker 2: a discussion and I decided to take a hands off
Speaker 2: approach to teach him.
Speaker 1: Tell them what you said to her grade him? How
Speaker 1: to grade Jackson?
Speaker 2: Remember that's I forgot. It was so fewman that I
Speaker 2: always remember.
Speaker 1: You said, listen, do what you have to do.
Speaker 2: Grade him accordingly, great according I.
Speaker 3: Was like, wow, that's a change, because old black mus
Speaker 3: be like, don't give him a bad grade.
Speaker 2: Let me fix this, or I would have also flown off,
Speaker 2: which I would have been kept my composer on the
Speaker 2: phone with the teacher and then flew off the handle,
Speaker 2: and Jackson would have been like, oh my god, mom.
Speaker 2: I was very calm with him. I didn't I didn't scream,
Speaker 2: I didn't yell. It was and sometimes I think they
Speaker 2: receive it with more, not fear, but almost like, oh shoot,
Speaker 2: because she's too calm. You know what I mean. I
Speaker 2: got books wasn't flying, and his wasn't.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: I was very very calm, And I explained to the teacher.
Speaker 2: I said, I've been explaining to Jackson the importance of
Speaker 2: time management. I'm trying to teach him accountability and him
Speaker 2: making a prioritizing his schedule, I said, because he does
Speaker 2: have a heavy schedule, and I'm aware of that. I said,
Speaker 2: But in the process, he understands the importance of your class,
Speaker 2: I said, because you take the time to reach out,
Speaker 2: and it's taken time out out of your schedule to
Speaker 2: sit down and call an email and text me to
Speaker 2: keep me abreast what's happening. I said, However, I want
Speaker 2: you to understand that's the lesson I'm trying to teach here.
Speaker 2: Jackson is fully supported by myself and my husband, I said,
Speaker 2: but he's also eleven years old, and I'm trying to
Speaker 2: teach lessons here. And she completely understood. I understand, I said,
Speaker 2: so baby bear grade him accordingly. And I said, if
Speaker 2: he gets a poor grade in this class now in
Speaker 2: the first module, and then he knows, I have to
Speaker 2: catch up. At least he knows.
Speaker 1: He knows.
Speaker 2: At least he knows, you know. And I like to
Speaker 2: shout myself out, but not going crazy on his ask
Speaker 2: because I really in the past, which I mean, like,
Speaker 2: what the fuck are you doing? We're not going nowhere
Speaker 2: this weekend. You can stay to a home and do everything,
Speaker 2: but we still got on the flight to New York,
Speaker 2: and he found a way to juggle everything and he
Speaker 2: understood the work in the process. So it's a win
Speaker 2: win for me.
Speaker 3: And I want to pat myself on the back for
Speaker 3: helping you get to that point, baby, because there was
Speaker 3: a lot of times where I was just like Kadem
Speaker 3: that you're not you're not helping him by one coddling him,
Speaker 3: but number two being the intersection between him and his
Speaker 3: teacher and stopping something bad from happening.
Speaker 1: Yes, and we.
Speaker 3: Can both discuss that because both of our young our
Speaker 3: sisters extremely young, were both skipped because they were so smart.
Speaker 3: I think the third child is always the smartest child
Speaker 3: because they get to watch two iterations of their parents
Speaker 3: and their siblings. So Torri and Sakari were both extremely
Speaker 3: smart and both started school early. Yes, so they both
Speaker 3: graduated high school early early, but they both also dealt
Speaker 3: with maturity issues because they were so young going through
Speaker 3: school that our parents coddled them through the process because
Speaker 3: they were early. So your parents and my parents helped them,
Speaker 3: help them, help them then when they got to college,
Speaker 3: and well, Sakari before college because Sakari went to boarding school,
Speaker 3: and then it was time to apply for college. She
Speaker 3: had no one there to help her with the process.
Speaker 2: She was lost.
Speaker 3: And because your mom did everything and you helped do
Speaker 3: everything beforehand, she was lost.
Speaker 1: And she I remember coming to our house.
Speaker 3: She was like, I have that vague and he said, scary, skary,
Speaker 3: what do you mean you have nothing?
Speaker 1: She said, I have nothing. I have no schools to
Speaker 1: go to. Everyone's talking about accepted tess and I have nothing,
Speaker 1: and shut up, shut up? Did you apply? Did you
Speaker 1: apply here? Did you do this?
Speaker 2: No? I didn't know.
Speaker 1: I didn't know.
Speaker 2: No one helped me. And I was like, see, it's
Speaker 2: because you were so accustomed to someone always coling. Now
Speaker 2: you have nothing.
Speaker 3: And my sister, my sister was the same way. My
Speaker 3: sister was pushed through this whole process.
Speaker 1: My mom is.
Speaker 3: My mom is big on education. She went to school
Speaker 3: to be an early childhood education teacher. And she she's
Speaker 3: huge on making sure that academia is number one on
Speaker 3: our list. So she was on our backs, so make
Speaker 3: sure this gets done, make sure that gets done. She
Speaker 3: was the mom who took your book report, ripped it.
Speaker 3: The Streds did the book report. Then you submitted it,
Speaker 3: and your teacher would say tell your mom she did
Speaker 3: a great job, like.
Speaker 2: The Ubiquitous Melancholy. Where's that from? No Clue The Cosby Show.
Speaker 1: Yes, Yes, Yes, Report, Yes, the Ubiquitous Melancholy.
Speaker 3: But then my sister got to college and she struggled
Speaker 3: because my parents weren't there to help in the process.
Speaker 3: And then once she got an academic advisor in college,
Speaker 3: they helped her through the process. But then when she
Speaker 3: graduated from college, she felt lost again. Imagine and I
Speaker 3: want to take this back to Jah, right. Imagine being
Speaker 3: an athlete, right, and you're in middle school and you're
Speaker 3: nice in middle school, and they're like, oh, we want
Speaker 3: you to go to this private school. Okay, well the
Speaker 3: academics is kind of tough, but we're working. We'll give
Speaker 3: you a course load that you can manage basketball in
Speaker 3: this so okay, so y'all gonna pick out my classes.
Speaker 2: Cool.
Speaker 3: I'm not saying this is what happened with Ja, but
Speaker 3: I know for a fact when I was at Polyprep,
Speaker 3: this is what I watched. Yeah, we're gonna help you
Speaker 3: with this, and we're gonna help you with that, and
Speaker 3: the kids still have to do the work.
Speaker 1: But it's like you're struggling we'll get you a tutor.
Speaker 1: You know this will get you with that.
Speaker 3: So your whole life you're just like, oh, okay, you
Speaker 3: graduate from high school, you go to college. We have
Speaker 3: an advisor for you. I know this because I went
Speaker 3: through this at Hostra. I went to regular Hofta University.
Speaker 3: I was in the School of Business. I was then
Speaker 3: in the School of Communication. Some of my counterparts was
Speaker 3: in New College. New college is away for athletes to
Speaker 3: get easy grades or they can be eligible to play
Speaker 3: NCUBA sports. You graduate with a degree in interdisciplinary studies,
Speaker 3: your introduce mere stories, your minor maybe art history.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: And I've watched them how they coddled the athlete through
Speaker 3: the whole process. So, oh, you failed a class. Oh,
Speaker 3: we'll have you make another one up in the summer.
Speaker 3: We'll talk to this person. So your whole life, people
Speaker 3: are moving obstacles out of your way to make sure
Speaker 3: that you can do what you want. While doing all
Speaker 3: of this, you're behaving like a child because realistically you
Speaker 3: don't have to mature. Now you get drafted to the
Speaker 3: NBA and you're a number two overall pick. You get
Speaker 3: thirty million dollars. Then you signed a shoe deal, you
Speaker 3: have one hundred million dollars. Now you have a total
Speaker 3: of one hundred and thirty million dollars. You have an iPhone,
Speaker 3: and you have all the friends that you grew up
Speaker 3: with in that same environment who were doing childish things
Speaker 3: in the neighborhood you grew up in.
Speaker 2: What do you think to do it on a higher level?
Speaker 2: Time and the resources to do it on a higher level.
Speaker 1: Thank you.
Speaker 3: That is the environment that some of these athletes are
Speaker 3: living in, and it is not an excuse. I'm not
Speaker 3: saying that we should just let them off the hook.
Speaker 3: What I'm saying is give these young people time to mature.
Speaker 3: Since we're watching them in real time. Just give them
Speaker 3: time to mature, and if they continue to make the
Speaker 3: same mistakes, then it's like, hey, dude, you've had enough.
Speaker 1: It's now as consequences.
Speaker 2: We try to tell yeah, brother, we try to tell
Speaker 2: yah mm mmmm and shout out to me again. I'm
Speaker 2: just kidding. No. I say that because I'm thinking what
Speaker 2: made me think about just going back to the story
Speaker 2: about parents, how different I parent compared to my mom.
Speaker 2: Initially when I was raising we were like I had Jackson.
Speaker 2: I remember a time in second grade where he wasn't
Speaker 2: bringing home his homework. There was confusion. Remember he had
Speaker 2: that one teacher that was just like, yeah, it was
Speaker 2: weird because she used to teach fourth grade. She came
Speaker 2: to second grade. She wasn't organized Catyle, yes this Catel
Speaker 2: and Jackson was super confused about what to do, and
Speaker 2: she was expecting certain things from them that she was
Speaker 2: used to with her fourth graders, but she was now
Speaker 2: teaching second grade. As my girl, you have to like
Speaker 2: work through these things with the kids. And Jackson would
Speaker 2: come home like Jackson, where's your home or where's this?
Speaker 2: And he's like, I don't know, I don't know. He
Speaker 2: was confused, Yeah, And I was yelling and screaming at him,
Speaker 2: like you need to bring home yourself like that, because
Speaker 2: that's what my mom used to do with us. God forbid.
Speaker 2: We forgot a book at home and we had to
Speaker 2: test the next day. I mean literally, my mother was
Speaker 2: like chewing our heads off, livid because she's like, how
Speaker 2: are you going to prepare for schoolwork? How are you
Speaker 2: gonna prepare for this test? And you don't have your stuff.
Speaker 2: So I did the same thing to Jackson, and I
Speaker 2: saw like the fear in his eyes, yes, and the disappointment,
Speaker 2: but also the confusion because he didn't know. So now
Speaker 2: I'm like, this is a different approach that I have
Speaker 2: to take, and not just parent the way I saw
Speaker 2: my parents' parent but parenting in my own style and
Speaker 2: what I think is going to be conducive to the
Speaker 2: type of child I'm trying to raise in the type
Speaker 2: of lessons that I'm trying to teach.
Speaker 3: So I think that's a good point because this situation
Speaker 3: with Job is also something new to everyone because people
Speaker 3: are saying, like, he should know better on social media.
Speaker 3: Social media is a very new thing still. It just
Speaker 3: came out in two thousand and four. Yes, it is
Speaker 3: twenty twenty three, which means it is nineteen years old,
Speaker 3: nineteen jobs twenty three, which means Joe was born right
Speaker 3: before social media became a serious thing. So everything we're
Speaker 3: watching now, we're actually learning this is all Like, of course,
Speaker 3: someone't call it cause a test run. It's a test
Speaker 3: run in life. It's a social it's yes, it's like
Speaker 3: a real life social experiment how people act when they
Speaker 3: have social media. I want to ask parents this because
Speaker 3: I also do well. I did social media checks when
Speaker 3: I had my program Prototype Elite Prototype Athletics in New York,
Speaker 3: and I huld do social media checks, and the stuff
Speaker 3: that they see on social media often dictate how they
Speaker 3: behave on social media.
Speaker 2: Because the fed more of that particular thing.
Speaker 3: And if the algorithm feeds you what you type in,
Speaker 3: they create the world. So you think everybody is seeing
Speaker 3: the same thing you see. So say, for example, go
Speaker 3: into the strip club and throwing up gang signs and
Speaker 3: flashing guns. It's all you see because that's all you
Speaker 3: type up because from a young man, that's all you
Speaker 3: were interested in because of social media, rap music, other things.
Speaker 3: Now that you have your own social media and you
Speaker 3: have actually do stuff, you know what you're gonna do.
Speaker 3: Emulate the behavior that you think everybody else is emulating.
Speaker 3: That's it, you know what I'm saying. That's also the
Speaker 3: dangers of social media, which is why our children don't
Speaker 3: have social media. That's why Jackson, who's turning twelve now,
Speaker 3: I finally allowed him to get an Instagram, but he's
Speaker 3: not allowed to have his own Instagram. And his Instagram
Speaker 3: is linked to my phone, so at any moment I
Speaker 3: can go on my phone go to his profile, he
Speaker 3: doesn't have his name on it, he doesn't have any pictures,
Speaker 3: he's not allowed to share anything, but he's allowed to
Speaker 3: look up basketball highlights and all this other stuff. So
Speaker 3: I go to his profile to see the search history,
Speaker 3: because that's what happens. And then I look at us,
Speaker 3: making sure like, Okay, he's not watching too much of this,
Speaker 3: he's not watching too much of this. He's also looking
Speaker 3: up this. I also send him motivational stuff. I send
Speaker 3: him positivity stuff. I send him intellectual stuff, so that
Speaker 3: it becomes part of his search history.
Speaker 1: So there's a little there's a little trick. There's a
Speaker 1: little trick I'm gonna tell parents.
Speaker 3: I go into his Instagram and I look up certain
Speaker 3: things I like. For example, the last few weeks, I've
Speaker 3: looked up Confucius quotes, motivational quotes. So now when he
Speaker 3: looked when he opens up his not his search, his homepage.
Speaker 3: When he comes on his homepage, he's like, what is this?
Speaker 3: He doesn't know why it's there. So what I'm starting
Speaker 3: to do is I'm trying to remember the movie insumption.
Speaker 3: When you can plant an idea in someone's head, was
Speaker 3: like curating his social media world by putting stuff on
Speaker 3: his page that he didn't even know he was looking for.
Speaker 1: And then he'll come to me, Dad, did you know?
Speaker 3: No? No, And I'm like, well, tell me about it,
Speaker 3: and then I'm engaged in his social media world so
Speaker 3: that we can create it together. And this is why
Speaker 3: I wanted to talk about the Jah Morant thing as
Speaker 3: a dad. People are saying, what is his father doing?
Speaker 3: John Moran's father don't know how to deal with social media.
Speaker 2: But also to what I was going to say when
Speaker 2: you mentioned the whole Jackson thing, we talk about athletes
Speaker 2: and entertainers being positive role models for the youth, right
Speaker 2: because what they see is what they're going to want
Speaker 2: to emulate. But also too, then there's the where are
Speaker 2: the parents who are now filtering and buffering what they
Speaker 2: do see from these entertainers and then making sure that
Speaker 2: their children know better for lack of a better word, Right,
Speaker 2: that's interesting that now we can curate almost this world
Speaker 2: and curate their social media world by having access to
Speaker 2: their social media if your child does have it, you know,
Speaker 2: because you know me, I was a hard no on
Speaker 2: any social media. You will come to the kids and
Speaker 2: everything like that. But just's also sorry, because I also
Speaker 2: understand that Jackson is someone who likes to research, and
Speaker 2: he likes to investigate things if he's interested in it.
Speaker 2: So I can see how giving him a little bit
Speaker 2: of that leeway will make him feel like he's all
Speaker 2: right part of it. But he's also not understanding that
Speaker 2: Dad is curating a world for him with his phone.
Speaker 1: But here's a crazy thing, though.
Speaker 3: Being a hard no for a young person only means
Speaker 3: that he's going to be a hard know in front
Speaker 3: of you if you gave your son a phone, or
Speaker 3: if his friends have access to a phone. I know
Speaker 3: this because I was a mentor for hundreds of young boys.
Speaker 3: There were kids who parents came to me. It was
Speaker 3: just like, I got this note from the school that
Speaker 3: so and so I don't want to say names, of course,
Speaker 3: so and so was involved in some bullying online with
Speaker 3: Da Da Da da, And it was like, this has
Speaker 3: to be fake because my son doesn't even have a phone.
Speaker 1: I was like, and like, what you mean?
Speaker 3: I said, a lot of these kids create profiles on
Speaker 3: their friends phones. And one of the kids who got
Speaker 3: in trouble it actually was not him, but he let
Speaker 3: his friend use his phone and his friend no, not
Speaker 3: his friend had his own profile on the kid's phone
Speaker 3: and was bullying other kids. But you know, because of this,
Speaker 3: it was all like, oh, well, it's his phone, it's him,
Speaker 3: it's him, it's him. It came from him. And the
Speaker 3: kid was like, I had no idea that my friend
Speaker 3: was doing this. But that also shows you. And then
Speaker 3: you speak to that kid's parents and mind they all
Speaker 3: tell you my son's not allowed to have social media,
Speaker 3: So that hard no only means it's going to be
Speaker 3: a hard no in front of you. The best thing
Speaker 3: to do is to try to curate the experience for
Speaker 3: your children, especially in the middle school age, because if
Speaker 3: you think that your children are beyond thinking or talking
Speaker 3: about sex, thinking or talking about drugs and alcohol thinking,
Speaker 3: or above thinking talking about violence and bullying, you're wrong.
Speaker 3: You're wrong. If you if you think that you can
Speaker 3: ignore it because your child would never do that, you're wrong.
Speaker 3: You have to curate the experience so that they understand
Speaker 3: the consequences with all three and make sure that you're involved,
Speaker 3: so that they feel adults enough to be like, oh,
Speaker 3: I'm making a decision with my parents' parents not being told,
Speaker 3: because when you tell kids not to do this, and
Speaker 3: you say this, this right here, what's happening. The job
Speaker 3: is ultimately what happens. They get money, they're on their own.
Speaker 3: There's no one to tell them what not to do,
Speaker 3: because all of the hanger ons and friends are saying, yo,
Speaker 3: do what you want to do because now you're worth
Speaker 3: millions and they want to be a part of their lifestyle.
Speaker 2: Time.
Speaker 1: They gonna let you do it until you self distructed.
Speaker 2: Should be lonely, baby, it should be lonely. All right,
Speaker 2: let's transition into a quick break and then we'll come
Speaker 2: back for some listener letters. Sound good, Bow bow baby boo.
Speaker 2: Stick around, y'all. All right, we're back, We back, and
Speaker 2: let's dive. First of all, I'm a fan of your
Speaker 2: podcast as well as your book, which I have already read.
Speaker 2: Great book, awesome, thank you. I also attended your live
Speaker 2: podcast in Chicago recently. Great show. Yeah, Chicago was live,
Speaker 2: y'all live that all our Patreon people will be able
Speaker 2: to see the live show, So make sure y'all just
Speaker 2: signed up. I think that was probably my most favorite
Speaker 2: city this round of Chicago, hands down. Chicago. Was it?
Speaker 2: All right, y'all? I just want to give you both
Speaker 2: your Flowers, I appreciate that. I love the message that
Speaker 2: you both sent out to your fans, with me being
Speaker 2: one of them. With that being said, I wouldn't ask
Speaker 2: anyone else this question. I recently ended a three year relationship,
Speaker 2: but thinking about a friend with benefits with the same X,
Speaker 2: there's no punctuation in here, so I'm trying to make.
Speaker 1: Sure this person wrote a whole.
Speaker 2: At the very end of it, so I'm trying to
Speaker 2: think where the thought slops. But thinking about a friends
Speaker 2: with benefit relationship, I guess with this same X, is
Speaker 2: it ever a good idea to do friends with benefits
Speaker 2: with an X? I'm just curious about both of your opinions.
Speaker 2: So if you ended the three year relationship, I can
Speaker 2: I guess I'm wondering why. Maybe you guys realize that
Speaker 2: the relationship situation wasn't working out, but the sex is bombs,
Speaker 2: so you're just like, you know what, I'll keep you
Speaker 2: around for some good sex on the side.
Speaker 1: This is what I think.
Speaker 2: But is there an agreement that y'all have?
Speaker 1: That's what I think. I'm not mad at this, and
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you why.
Speaker 3: Okay, anyone who chooses to practice safe sex with someone
Speaker 3: that they trust, with someone that they trust. I applauded, Yes,
Speaker 3: you know, because I say you have I don't want
Speaker 3: to say that's a bad term. I was gonna say,
Speaker 3: say you have an itch you want scratch, that's a
Speaker 3: bad term. We'll talk about safe sex, but say you're
Speaker 3: trying to to engage in sexual activity. Why not engage
Speaker 3: with someone that you you know already and if they
Speaker 3: have great sex. You don't want to be out here
Speaker 3: just trying to jump and soul tied with another person,
Speaker 3: soul tied with another person. Listen, we know we're not
Speaker 3: gonna be together forever. We're not working on this long term,
Speaker 3: so let's just have fun. The only thing that can
Speaker 3: be an issue with that is that you can't open
Speaker 3: yourself up to finding true love if you're continuing to
Speaker 3: be in this relationship with someone.
Speaker 1: You understand what.
Speaker 3: I'm saying, Like I think, Steve Harvey made this analogy
Speaker 3: about how he wanted a new car, wanted a new car,
Speaker 3: wanted a new car, so he kept his old car
Speaker 3: in the driveway and kept saying, thing, I keep working,
Speaker 3: but I can't get a new car, and his dad
Speaker 3: told him, you won't be able to get a new
Speaker 3: car till you create space for the new car.
Speaker 1: So he got rid of the old one.
Speaker 3: And when he realized when he got rid of the
Speaker 3: old one, metaphorically, not only did he get rid of it,
Speaker 3: he got rid of the mindset that he had a car.
Speaker 3: So he worked harder to get the new one and
Speaker 3: ended up getting the new one faster because he got
Speaker 3: rid of it. I feel like that's kind of the
Speaker 3: same thing here. You know, you're less likely to go
Speaker 3: out and find your soul mates or the person that
Speaker 3: you want to be with for eternity if you're continuing,
Speaker 3: continuing to conodle and be comfortable with someone else.
Speaker 2: Right right, right, right, that's it's actually difference. I didn't
Speaker 2: think of it that way, like that could impede the
Speaker 2: process that he finding somebody knew, but that's what's right.
Speaker 2: But I understand and guaranteed safe good sex is probably
Speaker 2: hard to find. So you know how I keep this
Speaker 2: one around.
Speaker 1: You know, that's what you get me around.
Speaker 2: That's how I keep them around.
Speaker 1: Good sex and the American Express.
Speaker 2: Oh, good sex and the American Express.
Speaker 1: Glad I get married good sex in the American Express.
Speaker 2: That's gonna be my next shirt. I'm about to copyright that,
Speaker 2: so nobody steal that, all right, I'm about to put
Speaker 2: it on the put it on the Dead Ass podcast
Speaker 2: page for merch. But yeah, good luck to you, says.
Speaker 2: Hopefully it works out and both of y'all's favor and
Speaker 2: hopefully you know he'll be signed up to. Actually, I
Speaker 2: don't know if it's he or sheet because it didn't
Speaker 2: specify and specifying. Yeah, but do you think number two?
Speaker 3: Hey, Kadeen and Davos. So, I've been dating my boyfriend
Speaker 3: for about five months now. I love him so much.
Speaker 3: I see he loves me a lot too. That's good
Speaker 3: for both of you. I like that for you guys. Uh,
Speaker 3: But before meeting me, I think he had this picture
Speaker 3: of the kind of woman he wanted to be with.
Speaker 3: Were both Christians, but he's more vocal about it and
Speaker 3: has his beliefs in all. I love to have. Oh,
Speaker 3: I love to have a glass of wine to unwind
Speaker 3: or hang out with friends and have a cocktail. But
Speaker 3: he doesn't like me drinking alcohol, but I see nothing
Speaker 3: wrong with it. So I've been trying to stop that,
Speaker 3: and it looks like I'm trying to settle Oh.
Speaker 1: I know where this is going.
Speaker 3: I also love to go to parties, like if it's
Speaker 3: for friends and all. I'm not a party freak, but
Speaker 3: I love to go with him and he doesn't like
Speaker 3: to go to places like that. He also is Christian Pentecostal.
Speaker 3: While I'm Catholic. He doesn't believe in the Catholic faith
Speaker 3: and tries to make me go into his faith, being
Speaker 3: Catholic all my life. I honestly don't mind switching when
Speaker 3: we get married because I should be able to trust
Speaker 3: his leadership to lead. But it feels off and I
Speaker 3: just feel like I'm settling into this life. I'm selling
Speaker 3: into his life. What do y'all think? I'm a huge
Speaker 3: fan and I love y'all. We love you to thank you.
Speaker 2: Kay you a huge fan, baby. You know. We don't
Speaker 2: settle over here. That's one thing that we do not
Speaker 2: do now. Granted, people's relationship with the Lord I don't
Speaker 2: speak much on because I believe that's a very personal thing.
Speaker 2: But I don't believe in settling when it comes to
Speaker 2: a relationship. I don't feel like you should have to
Speaker 2: give up things that matter to you greatly because someone
Speaker 2: else is requiring that from you. I'm just not an
Speaker 2: advocate for that at all. Period.
Speaker 3: I don't have to agree when you date. You date
Speaker 3: to find out if there are synergies. When you don't
Speaker 3: feel what something feels off, something doesn't feel good, you
Speaker 3: can either make a choice to work on it because
Speaker 3: you want to, but to work on it because he
Speaker 3: wants you to. It's never a good science. That's extremely different.
Speaker 3: Like Kadeen and I talk about in our book We
Speaker 3: over Meet the Counter two with approach Getting Everything you
Speaker 3: Want out your Relationship New York Times bestseller.
Speaker 2: We talk about.
Speaker 3: We talk about being of service, but not at the
Speaker 3: detriment of losing yourself. That's very, very important. She said,
Speaker 3: I feel like I'm settling into his life. I feel
Speaker 3: like I'm settling into the life I want, and I'm
Speaker 3: sharing it.
Speaker 1: With this woman.
Speaker 2: And you're with someone who gives you the latitude to
Speaker 2: be able to stretch and to grow into that life
Speaker 2: that you want without judgment. And the worst thing that
Speaker 2: you could feel is judgment from anybody, much less your spouse.
Speaker 3: So I have a question ask you, as a woman,
Speaker 3: do you feel like you've settled into my life or
Speaker 3: do you feel like you're living the life you.
Speaker 2: Will absolutely not. I don't feel like I've settled into
Speaker 2: your life. I've settled into the life that I've wanted
Speaker 2: for myself, that I have envisioned for myself, and I've
Speaker 2: just been fortunate and lucky enough to do it and
Speaker 2: blessed enough to do it with someone who I feel
Speaker 2: like is equally ooked.
Speaker 3: And the reason why I ask you because I know
Speaker 3: oftentimes women say they feel like they have to transform
Speaker 3: into what their husbands want.
Speaker 2: Yes, and the settle into a particular lifestyle, And I mean,
Speaker 2: I feel that there's moments where I feel like I've lost
Speaker 2: a bit of kdeen, but not to anyone's fault. It's
Speaker 2: just the transitions of life, right, going from being a
Speaker 2: single woman to the now a dating women to the
Speaker 2: now a person in the committed relationship, then to a
Speaker 2: wife and then to a mom. There's gonna be ebbs
Speaker 2: and flows in life that you have to adjust. But
Speaker 2: I don't feel like I've, you know, had to succumb
Speaker 2: to whatever life it is that you helped you had
Speaker 2: for us as the leader of the family. Because she
Speaker 2: also mentioned like she's okay with trusting his leadership, which
Speaker 2: I think I do with you as well too. But
Speaker 2: then also, I'm never stifled in this relationship by you
Speaker 2: either or I've never led to be felt or led
Speaker 2: to believe that I don't matter or my opinion doesn't matter.
Speaker 2: It's very much a teammate situation here. So yeah, to
Speaker 2: answer your question, I don't feel like that. I feel
Speaker 2: like I'm living truthfully in real time, in real life
Speaker 2: with where I'm supposed to be.
Speaker 3: And I'm glad you brought that up, because even she
Speaker 3: says like he doesn't like me to do this, He
Speaker 3: doesn't like me to do that.
Speaker 1: He doesn't does he even.
Speaker 3: Like you.
Speaker 2: Like about each other?
Speaker 1: Like like I couldn't. I couldn't imagine being.
Speaker 2: It's only five months in two girls. It's giving that
Speaker 2: you don't know a lot about what's about to unfold here.
Speaker 1: Either.
Speaker 3: I wonder I wonder how old they are because she
Speaker 3: sounds young, he sounds very or young. But I can't
Speaker 3: imagine like being with a girl, and it's being like, well,
Speaker 3: I don't like did you do this?
Speaker 1: Change this? I don't like to do that.
Speaker 3: You know what if I got to keep telling you
Speaker 3: to change stuff, or then I actually get a new girl.
Speaker 3: I should find a girl that is in alignment with
Speaker 3: the same things that I'm My mindsetting is alignment with you.
Speaker 3: Understand what I'm saying as opposed to saying, well, you
Speaker 3: need to change in order to be with me, And
Speaker 3: not that he's saying that, but if she's feeling.
Speaker 2: That feeling that she said before meeting him, I think
Speaker 2: he had this picture of the kind of woman he
Speaker 2: wanted to be with. Baby. If you ain't in the picture,
Speaker 2: if you're not in the art gallery at all, in
Speaker 2: the wrong place, you know.
Speaker 1: What I feel you.
Speaker 2: I feel you you in the wrong places. So I
Speaker 2: would hate for you to settle. I don't think anybody
Speaker 2: should ever settle into anything, whether it's love, relationship, career,
Speaker 2: none of that. So hopefully that's helpful to you. Good
Speaker 2: luck to you on your road to love. All right, y'all,
Speaker 2: If y'all want to be featured as a listener letter,
Speaker 2: keep writing into us. Email us at dead ass Advice
Speaker 2: at gmail dot com. We'd love to hear from you.
Speaker 3: That's D E A. D A S as A D
Speaker 3: V I C at gmail dot com.
Speaker 2: I'm still so cozy here, guys. You know, if you're
Speaker 2: watching on Patreon, you can see that I am very
Speaker 2: much at home. You know, still got the stale weaving
Speaker 2: that y'all saw me in last time. It's okay, no,
Speaker 2: just kidding, we watched her. But yeah, baby, let's get
Speaker 2: a moment of truth for you. We're talking today, maturity,
Speaker 2: we're talking money, we're talking man, the athlete, the person.
Speaker 2: But furthermore, just what we can do as a society
Speaker 2: to I guess, help these people, these men, these women,
Speaker 2: these people in a certain particular status. It's particular influence
Speaker 2: through you know, rough times.
Speaker 3: It's not just a certain particular person, it's everybody. This
Speaker 3: is my moment of truth. Just because you watch a
Speaker 3: person reach a certain economic status, don't expect them to
Speaker 3: be mature, especially if they're still young.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: Someone can be gifted enough to earn income, well, but
Speaker 3: that doesn't mean that they're mature enough to understand society.
Speaker 3: And I think that this happens with professional athletes and
Speaker 3: entertainers because they become idols quote unquote two people, which
Speaker 3: I think is also a bad thing.
Speaker 1: You should never idolize.
Speaker 3: Anyone, Yes, but since when you make someone an idol
Speaker 3: and they fall short of what you idolize.
Speaker 1: You can't blame them.
Speaker 3: Allow these young men and young women, especially between the
Speaker 3: ages of nineteen to twenty five. A lot of these
Speaker 3: entertainers and athletes become famous and rich very young. Allow
Speaker 3: them to go through the process of becoming an adult
Speaker 3: and make mistakes, you know, don't let's not condemn them
Speaker 3: and hold them to that one or two experience for
Speaker 3: the rest of their life. We see that all the
Speaker 3: time in the world. Someone that you idolize make a mistake,
Speaker 3: and now they're forty years old and you're still holding
Speaker 3: them to the mistake they made it twenty three, We
Speaker 3: got to learn how to let that go.
Speaker 2: That was like literally to be most Yeah, it was
Speaker 2: like allow people in general, a particular people who are
Speaker 2: of some sort of influence or some sort of fame,
Speaker 2: allow them to make mistakes and to grow from them.
Speaker 2: We would hope that nobody, that anybody stays the same
Speaker 2: whether they're twenty then they go to twenty five to
Speaker 2: thirty to thirty five. We would hope that people are
Speaker 2: able to learn from their mistakes, be able to grow
Speaker 2: from that, and just have a little bit of empathy
Speaker 2: because realize too, you're also making mistakes as well, and
Speaker 2: you just don't have the spotlight on you. So it's
Speaker 2: easy for you to duck off into the you know,
Speaker 2: the corner, yeah, because you don't have a spotlight on you.
Speaker 2: But it's that much harder, particularly for our young men
Speaker 2: and women who are given these large sums of money
Speaker 2: or given this spotlight and don't really necessarily know how
Speaker 2: to navigate it. So let's just try to be a
Speaker 2: little bit kinder to people in general. I know we
Speaker 2: say that a lot when it comes to just social
Speaker 2: media and a lot of the topics that we've discussed.
Speaker 2: But piling on to a situation that's already facts, you know,
Speaker 2: fact negative or not you know, viewed in high regard,
Speaker 2: is not doing anything good and then find lessons that
Speaker 2: you can also as a parent teach your children from
Speaker 2: things like this. So hopefully this episode was helpful to
Speaker 2: y'all for that reason with a lesson.
Speaker 3: Oh one more thing too, can we stop equating blackness
Speaker 3: with struggle, poverty, and violence? Like I think that we
Speaker 3: have to stop saying that once someone behaves in a
Speaker 3: certain way that shows violence or poverty or some sort
Speaker 3: of undisciplined thing, is.
Speaker 1: Oh, they're trying to be too black. Blackness is not
Speaker 1: one thing. Right.
Speaker 3: You can be excellent and be black, you know what
Speaker 3: I'm saying. You can be smart and be black. You
Speaker 3: can be articulate and be black. You can be wealthy
Speaker 3: and be black. Blackness is just not one thing. And
Speaker 3: the reason why that bothered me and I wanted to
Speaker 3: say this is because Jahn Morant is acting. He's a
Speaker 3: young man who's acting like what so many other people
Speaker 3: act like the rappers, you know what I'm saying, Especially
Speaker 3: drill rap is huge right now, right, but white people
Speaker 3: do the same thing, Asian people do the same thing India.
Speaker 3: People Hip hop is a global phenomenon now. So when
Speaker 3: you see people acting in a certain way, don't just say, oh,
Speaker 3: they're trying to act or be black, right, because that's
Speaker 3: not the only way to be black. And I want
Speaker 3: to make sure that we're clear on that. And then
Speaker 3: also that Jah Moran is not going to be the
Speaker 3: only wealthy young man to make mistakes that part, you know,
Speaker 3: So prayers and positive healing energy goes out to him
Speaker 3: and his family. I can guarantee you he going to
Speaker 3: thrive through this and be better. This is not the
Speaker 3: first athlete to go through stuff. I remember when Alan
Speaker 3: Ivers was going through all of this. I remember when
Speaker 3: Chris Carter was going through all this, and that was
Speaker 3: in the eighties. Chris Carter was going through all of
Speaker 3: this stuff with the drugs and the fights, and he
Speaker 3: got kicked off the Eagles, and that was the best thing.
Speaker 3: When he got cut by the Eagles and went to
Speaker 3: the Vikings. That's when he became a Hall of Famer
Speaker 3: because the consequences showed him that he had to change
Speaker 3: just behavior.
Speaker 2: That's what even think about the kids that the kids
Speaker 2: just now in the University of Georgia after they won
Speaker 2: the championship.
Speaker 1: Championship, that's college level. You know what I'm.
Speaker 2: Saying, that those actions may impede them from making it
Speaker 2: to the big leagues. And it's just like, you know,
Speaker 2: let's just try to rally around these kids, yes, and
Speaker 2: teach these lessons before it's too late. Yeah, all right, y'all.
Speaker 2: As usual, you can find us on Patreon. Shout out
Speaker 2: to everyone who is signed up to see exclusive dead
Speaker 2: Ass podcast video content. Also some exclusive from de Vo's
Speaker 2: man Cave and some family content as well too.
Speaker 1: Yo.
Speaker 2: The Patreon Patreon circuits popping off pat re.
Speaker 1: Read the comments we got work. Be patient. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be honest to y'all.
Speaker 3: Are so used to getting stuff quickly on because of
Speaker 3: the podcast, But Patreon is different. The videos have to
Speaker 3: be edited, sound has to be corrected, color has to
Speaker 3: be corrected. Yeah, we want it to be perfect, so
Speaker 3: it comes out a little bit slower.
Speaker 1: But rock with us. We got it coming for sure
Speaker 1: or for sure out to Josh.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yes, ganggang, they got us holding us down.
Speaker 1: Okay, yes.
Speaker 2: Find us on social media, y'all. In the meantime you'll
Speaker 2: get some more content there. Instagram, dead Ass the Podcast
Speaker 2: is our page. You can find me at Kadena. I
Speaker 2: am on Instagram and TikTok.
Speaker 1: That's right, and I am devouring.
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Speaker 2: All right, y'all.
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