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Speaker 1: Money does not make you mature.

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Speaker 2: M that's a fact. And raising four black young men,

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Speaker 2: I'm hypersensitive about the things that they're watching and exposed

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Speaker 2: to and possibly overexposed to. So we have to put

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Speaker 2: parenting on a hundred All right, dead asss Hey, I'm

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Speaker 2: Kadeen and I'm Devout and we're the Ellis's.

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Speaker 1: You may know us from posting funny videos with our.

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Speaker 2: Boys and reading each other publicly as a form of therapy. Wait,

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Speaker 2: I make you need therapy most days.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 2: And one more important thing to mention, we're married.

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Speaker 1: Yes, sir, we are.

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Speaker 3: We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of

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Speaker 3: li's most taboo topics.

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Speaker 2: Things most folks don't want to talk about.

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Speaker 1: Through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead ass

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Speaker 1: is a term that we say every day.

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Speaker 3: So when we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts

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Speaker 3: one hundred, the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but

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Speaker 3: the truth.

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Speaker 1: We about to take pilot off to our whole new level.

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Speaker 2: Dead ass starts right now.

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Speaker 1: So, as you guys know, I play in the NFL

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Speaker 1: for four years.

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Speaker 3: During that time, I met a lot of interesting characters.

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Speaker 3: Being in an NFL locker room is very different. During

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Speaker 3: the time when I was there, I happened to play

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Speaker 3: with a lot of men who made a lot of

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Speaker 3: money because the Detroit Lions were always drafting extremely high because.

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Speaker 1: They lost a lot.

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Speaker 3: So you're in the locker room with a ton of

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Speaker 3: first round draft picks. And during that time, I remember

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Speaker 3: seeing a lot of young men who after doing two

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Speaker 3: to three years in college. I say two to three

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Speaker 3: years because if you read short and that you did

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Speaker 3: two years or you played three years straight as a freshman,

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Speaker 3: you're really only twenty one and you're signing deals upwards

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Speaker 3: of twenty million dollars guaranteed as a top ten draft

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Speaker 3: pick in the NFL. And I watched a lot of

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Speaker 3: young men do some destructive things during that time.

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Speaker 1: And I just watched all of the chatter of so

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Speaker 1: many people. You're like, wow, they do that.

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Speaker 3: He's making money out of you do it making money,

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Speaker 3: And it made me realize it doesn't matter if you

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Speaker 3: give an immature twenty one, twenty two year old a

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Speaker 3: dollar or a million dollars, they gonna do something fucked

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Speaker 3: up with it.

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Speaker 2: That's a fact.

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Speaker 1: And I watched it firsthand.

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Speaker 2: I don't know what they want for me It's like

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Speaker 2: the more money we cover across the problem we see. Now,

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Speaker 2: what's the next part? Who hot? Oh?

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Speaker 1: Oh, that's I'm thinking. I'm thinking Diddy's part of my back.

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Speaker 2: Who hot? Who not tell me who set out in

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Speaker 2: the stores?

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Speaker 1: You're telling me? Whoop? Who capped the blue drop? Jews got?

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Speaker 1: Who mostly knows s pimp?

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Speaker 2: You know anything changed with my lips?

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Speaker 3: Can't stop to your name on the black guarantee you yourself?

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Speaker 3: Whn't believe in hall the world, the double up.

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Speaker 2: We don't play around bad down didn't know me.

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Speaker 3: No one they know me.

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Speaker 1: Now I'm the young nigga with the goldens down.

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Speaker 2: Can't can hold me? Dad e sciom me to the game.

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Speaker 3: Do this.

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Speaker 1: All right?

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Speaker 3: All right, shout out all the world, Diddy.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes we be aging ourselves like we.

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Speaker 1: Do because I don't even remember the words no more.

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Speaker 2: That's a fact. You know. We got a It's not

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Speaker 2: like riding a bike like they said it would be. Yes,

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Speaker 2: remember these song lyrics. All right, we're talking about what

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Speaker 2: makes a mature man, and I don't know the least

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Speaker 2: you have to tell us the vow. Let's pay some

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Speaker 2: bills and come back and we'll talk we'll talk some

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Speaker 2: current events stuff. All right, we're back. Yes, story time,

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Speaker 2: you're talking about the characters that you met in the NFL,

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Speaker 2: and particularly this episode, we will be talking about the

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Speaker 2: Jahn Morant situation going on, and that's been in the

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Speaker 2: news lately about some of the some saying immature decisions

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Speaker 2: that he's been making, and what we're thinking is behind

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Speaker 2: the this is driving force behind those types of decisions

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Speaker 2: just in general. So you can speak to this as

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Speaker 2: a male, as an athlete formerly, and me particularly chiming

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Speaker 2: in as a mom raising for boys.

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Speaker 3: Right, there's a lot to unpack here, right, And the

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Speaker 3: first thing I want to unpack is this idea that

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Speaker 3: John Morant, because he went to a private school and

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Speaker 3: grew up with both his parents, a lot of people

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Speaker 3: question his blackness. Remember we talked about this, like your

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Speaker 3: blackness has to be associated with struggle, because if you

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Speaker 3: didn't struggle at a certain part in life, then you're not.

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Speaker 2: Really that How how authentic is your story really?

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Speaker 1: Right?

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Speaker 3: Or you're not hood if you didn't grow up in

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Speaker 3: a different type of environment.

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Speaker 1: Now here's the truth, right.

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Speaker 3: Being in the streets and proximity to the streets is

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Speaker 3: two different things right from what we know, I don't

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Speaker 3: know much about John Moran's life. I don't I know

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Speaker 3: he grew up with both of his parents. His dad

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Speaker 3: is clearly in his life because he's at every game.

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Speaker 3: They said he went to private school. Let me tell

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Speaker 3: you something about going to private school. When I was

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Speaker 3: at poly Prep. When I retired from the NFL, I

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Speaker 3: coached at poly Prep for two years. I watched as

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Speaker 3: they recruited young kids from the inner cities to go

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Speaker 3: to poly Prep, but they didn't live around poly Prep.

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Speaker 3: And the reason why I say that is because all

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Speaker 3: these people who are saying, oh, he went to private school,

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Speaker 3: he not hood understand this. Every year poly Prep we

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Speaker 3: recruited five elite athletes who were on scholarship. Poly Prep

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Speaker 3: was a forty thousand dollars a year school, and a

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Speaker 3: part of going to this school and playing football for

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Speaker 3: the school was that they were going to pay because

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Speaker 3: your parents couldn't afford give you a better opportunity.

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Speaker 2: So they were busting them into Dyker Heights.

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Speaker 3: Pretty much busting them into Dyker Heights, but they did

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Speaker 3: not live in Dyker Heights, and a lot of these

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Speaker 3: young men were not from Dyker heights. So this idea

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Speaker 3: that since you go to a private school, your life

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Speaker 3: wasn't rough, it's just a facade. It's fake and people

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Speaker 3: are just talking out their ass. That's number one. Number two,

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Speaker 3: the idea that you live in a private house means

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Speaker 3: that you can't be street.

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Speaker 1: Another fake, another facade.

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Speaker 3: Because I grew up in Canarsi, the flaws right, pop

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Speaker 3: Smoke grew up in Canarsi and the flaws.

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Speaker 1: I grew up with both my parents, right.

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Speaker 3: I still had to go from Canarsi all the way

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Speaker 3: to Marine Park to go to school, which means I

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Speaker 3: had to get on that school bus and I had

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Speaker 3: to travel on that Not school, I had to go

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Speaker 3: on a city bus, and I had to travel on

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Speaker 3: the B eighty two forty five minutes every morning by myself.

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Speaker 3: And I was doing that from the time I was

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Speaker 3: thirteen years old. My brother went to roy Age Man

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Speaker 3: He's been traveling on the bus on his own since

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Speaker 3: he was ten years old. The things you learn on

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Speaker 3: that bus ride have nothing to do with where you

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Speaker 3: reside at night. The things you do during the day

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Speaker 3: and where you frequent have nothing to do with where

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Speaker 3: you reside at night. The idea that because Jamar grew

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Speaker 3: up in a private house. I went to a private school,

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Speaker 3: and can't be street is a facade. Lastly, the idea

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Speaker 3: that you grew up with both your parents means that

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Speaker 3: you cannot be hood is a facade. I grew up

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Speaker 3: with both my parents. I know plenty of people who

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Speaker 3: grew up with both their parents. You know what both

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Speaker 3: their parents did all day work and you know where

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Speaker 3: them kids were in the streets, in the streets. And

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Speaker 3: it wasn't because yes, and it wasn't because their parents

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Speaker 3: weren't good people. It wasn't because their parents weren't giving

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Speaker 3: them a good opportunity. But if you grew up like

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Speaker 3: I grew up in Brooklyn, yeah, you may grow up

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Speaker 3: in a private house with both your parents in Brooklyn,

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Speaker 3: but from eight o'clock in the morning till six pm,

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Speaker 3: sometimes seven pm, if your parents worked like my parents, you.

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Speaker 2: Were on your own lifesses.

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Speaker 3: And my parents told me, you come straight from home,

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Speaker 3: you in school, You come straight from school, you go inside,

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Speaker 3: you go home.

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Speaker 1: You know what I did, went straight from school to

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Speaker 1: the street.

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Speaker 3: I was with my peoples, I was with my boys,

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Speaker 3: We was playing, I was outside, I was.

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Speaker 2: Doing all sorts getting home by any means necessary, all

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Speaker 2: of us friendly, Oh this that, And.

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Speaker 3: We grew up during a time when there were no

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Speaker 3: cell phones and there was no social media, there was

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Speaker 3: no technology to track you. So this idea that Jama

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Speaker 3: rent because of all these things we know about his

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Speaker 3: life can't be street is fake.

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Speaker 1: That's not real.

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Speaker 3: There are plenty of people who grew up in that

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Speaker 3: type of environment who have a lot more street sense

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Speaker 3: in savvy than other people who you proclaim grew up

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Speaker 3: in certain areas. For example, I have a homegirl grew

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Speaker 3: up in the projects, never been outside. You want to

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Speaker 3: know why her single mom told her black ass she

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Speaker 3: could not go outside. And this young lady, I don't

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Speaker 3: want to say her name, is probably one of the

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Speaker 3: most sheltered people. And she grew up in the projects

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Speaker 3: because her mom made a choice to keep her away

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Speaker 3: from all the elements outside of her. And if you

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Speaker 3: would look at her, and you look at the way

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Speaker 3: I grew up, I was in the street, made way

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Speaker 3: more than her. I grew up in the church, in

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Speaker 3: a dual family, dual parent household, in a private home,

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Speaker 3: with every opportunity to be successful.

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Speaker 1: When I was still in the street because I was.

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Speaker 2: Just, what is the desire to have that street, to

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Speaker 2: be in the mix? Is it just something growing up?

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Speaker 2: You feel like you're missing something because you know me,

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Speaker 2: I grew up. Also, yeah, you go to Gary Shelter

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Speaker 2: like I'm not going past my front gate, go to school,

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Speaker 2: get picked up, dropped off like there was no room

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Speaker 2: for me really to be you know, go astray. So

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Speaker 2: what is the desire to be in the street.

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Speaker 1: I don't.

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Speaker 3: I don't think it's a desire. I think it's like,

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Speaker 3: what else are you gonna do? You're you know, you

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Speaker 3: want to spend time with your friends. As a child,

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Speaker 3: what is more important than you than your friends?

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Speaker 1: Nothing?

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Speaker 3: Nothing is more important. If all of my friends are outside,

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Speaker 3: then I'm going outside. And my parents gave my brother

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Speaker 3: and I and my sisters were enough latitude to navigate

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Speaker 3: the streets on our own.

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Speaker 1: So I learned how to use tokens. This is before

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Speaker 1: metro card.

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Speaker 3: I learned how to use tokens and travel on the

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Speaker 3: train and the bus from the time I was very

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Speaker 3: very young. My aunt Debbie used to take me and

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Speaker 3: my cousin DeVaughn on the train from as young as

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Speaker 3: five and six years old, and when I got old

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Speaker 3: enough to travel on my own, which is people say

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Speaker 3: times are different now, but they really aren't that different.

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Speaker 3: I was traveling on the city bus from ten double digits.

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Speaker 3: Was like, okay, double digits, you can traveling on. You

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Speaker 3: know how to get here, you know how to read

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Speaker 3: the map. So my environment in my house were two

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Speaker 3: different things. My house and where I lived was one thing.

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Speaker 3: But my environment and where I grew up was in

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Speaker 3: Flatbush between Church. I grew up between the streets of

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Speaker 3: Church and I would say King's Highway, that whole area

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Speaker 3: between Nasareth Regional High School, Erasmus High School, clar Salem

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Speaker 3: Missionary Baptist Church, Tennis Court. That was all of my neighborhood.

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Speaker 3: That's why I spent most of my time see and.

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Speaker 2: My mother would have never And now at that point

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Speaker 2: I was living in Kannarsi, which was known to be

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Speaker 2: the private houses in Knarsi. So that's where you know,

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Speaker 2: your hardworking middle class you know Brooklyn Iights would be.

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Speaker 2: But then what about this conflict that you've mentioned recently

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Speaker 2: with wanting to first off, we've moved our children from there, yes,

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Speaker 2: and now we're you know, in the suburbs of Atlanta,

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Speaker 2: but then also wanting your kids to have that street edge,

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Speaker 2: So like, why is that still a thing that you

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Speaker 2: need to have, particularly as a male.

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Speaker 1: It's a good question. To me.

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Speaker 3: It wasn't so much about street edge. It was more

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Speaker 3: about awareness. I want I want my sons to know

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Speaker 3: how to navigate the world. Okay, I learned how to

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Speaker 3: navigate the world through the street. Imagine being ten years

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Speaker 3: old and you get lost on the subway, you know.

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Speaker 3: Imagine being ten years old and you lose your wallet.

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Speaker 3: You have no money, but you have to get home.

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Speaker 3: You find ways, you know, you learn how to maneuver

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Speaker 3: and pivot, and you learn how not to be scared

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Speaker 3: because you've dealt with so much at a young age.

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Speaker 3: I don't want to coddle my son so much that

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Speaker 3: when they get out in the world and I'm not

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Speaker 3: there for the first time, they don't know how.

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Speaker 2: To move walking around looking like target. Yes, yes, that

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Speaker 2: kind of sense.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: And when I think about the whole John Morant situation,

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Speaker 3: here's another aspect that people don't think about. I grew

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Speaker 3: up in Brooklyn. I have tons of friends who do

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Speaker 3: not live the same type of life I live. And

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Speaker 3: when I mean life. I'm talking about the legal life

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Speaker 3: that I live. They have a different type of life.

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Speaker 3: And when you're twenty two and you have that group

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Speaker 3: of friends that's still around you, and now you're the

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Speaker 3: one that's in the spotlight. Those behaviors that you practiced

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Speaker 3: when you were in high school in early college, those

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Speaker 3: don't stop just because you're making millions of dollars. You

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Speaker 3: know what happens, there's just now a greater spotlight on you.

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Speaker 3: So when people are saying, how come he you know

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Speaker 3: he's worth one hundred million dollars, why don't he make

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Speaker 3: better decisions? I think we need to give this young

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Speaker 3: man grace to learn how to make better decisions because

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Speaker 3: he's learning how to do it in real time with

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Speaker 3: a lot of people watching him. Now, that doesn't excuse

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Speaker 3: his behavior, right, for example, going on Live with a pistol. Right,

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Speaker 3: people are saying, allegedly, but it was him showing a

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Speaker 3: pistol on his live, him getting into physical altercations with kids,

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Speaker 3: or quote unquote pulling out pistols allegedly. The only reason

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Speaker 3: why I say I can say allegedly is because I

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Speaker 3: wasn't there and there's no proof, And I think it's

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Speaker 3: an open case, so whatever. So I don't want to

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Speaker 3: say this would happen. But what I'm saying is is

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Speaker 3: these situations and stuff like this happen all the time,

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Speaker 3: and we don't have any Like the outside world doesn't

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Speaker 3: see these things happening. But when you have someone who's

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Speaker 3: worth a hundred million dollars and the spotlight is always

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Speaker 3: on him and he makes the same decisions he's been

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Speaker 3: making his whole life and it's been successful making these decisions,

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Speaker 3: you can't automatically say now, well, why don't you stop

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Speaker 3: this behavior.

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Speaker 1: You're worth a hundred million dollars.

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Speaker 3: He has to learn that, and sometimes learning that comes

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Speaker 3: with consequences, which means like now he gets in trouble,

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Speaker 3: gets suspended from the team for two days, has to

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Speaker 3: go work on some things with his mental health. Like

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Speaker 3: that's learning during the process. I just want us as

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Speaker 3: people to give him grace and don't write him off

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Speaker 3: as just another stupid athlete or make fun of the

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Speaker 3: fact that, well, he grew up with both his parents.

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Speaker 1: Why is he trying to act tough?

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Speaker 2: So essentially he's making mistakes that all twenty one year

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Speaker 2: old makes. Twenty one year olds make but he's on

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Speaker 2: the spotlight and be has the money.

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Speaker 3: Hey, we went to college together. You've seen a decision

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Speaker 3: some of my friends made in college.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely with a lot less to lose, you know what

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Speaker 2: I'm saying, right, or more in some situations because it's like, man,

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Speaker 2: this is my only chance to get out, I'm on

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Speaker 2: scholarship if I messed this up, and we've seen so

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Speaker 2: many cases like more so, where are the people who

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Speaker 2: are walking him through, for example, the high school process,

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Speaker 2: the draft process, Like when that essentially is over and

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Speaker 2: now he's a quote unquote grown man making his own money,

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Speaker 2: making male decisions, does he still have that team of

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Speaker 2: people who are there to support him and make sure

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Speaker 2: that he's on the straight and narrow or that they

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Speaker 2: just just kind of drop off once he makes that

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Speaker 2: because they have handlers and people who see them through

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Speaker 2: this entire process. And then is it that he's left

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Speaker 2: to his own devices once I'm saying he as a

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Speaker 2: job like the athlete.

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Speaker 3: I'm glad you asked that question, because this is part

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Speaker 3: of being an athlete that or even a young entertainer

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Speaker 3: that people don't see when you're a prodigy, right and

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Speaker 3: you're the person everyone expects is going to be the

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Speaker 3: one to make it out right. When you're making poor

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Speaker 3: decisions throughout your pre adolescent years, then your adolescent years,

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Speaker 3: then in high school when you're making these poor decisions,

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Speaker 3: a lot of times you get coddled and people cover

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Speaker 3: up for you, so you really don't learn and understand

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Speaker 3: consequences because you make a poor decision or you do

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Speaker 3: something dumb and then someone else out of know where

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Speaker 3: it comes up.

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Speaker 1: We got to protect so and so on. Let's sweep

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Speaker 1: this under the rod. Let's make this okay.

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Speaker 3: So now that person is learning that, oh, I can

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Speaker 3: pretty much do what I want, or it's not that

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Speaker 3: big of a deal. If they made it go away,

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Speaker 3: it's not that big of a deal. So what they

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Speaker 3: do repeat the behavior, and then the higher you get

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Speaker 3: in that level, like they'll cover for you in junior

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Speaker 3: high school. Oh, but now you're being recruited to go

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Speaker 3: one of the top high schools, or now they're going

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Speaker 3: to cover for you in the high school, especially if

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Speaker 3: you go to one of these private schools. A lot

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Speaker 3: of times they will cover for and I'm not just

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Speaker 3: talking about athletes.

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Speaker 1: I worked at poly Prep.

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Speaker 3: If you have someone who's generating, generating resources and bringing

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Speaker 3: funds to a school.

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Speaker 2: For everybody, they're going to cover for you.

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Speaker 3: Case in point, at poly Prep, I worked with some

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Speaker 3: entertainers who are world renowned their children. Their children were

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Speaker 3: on the football team, and I watched those young men

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Speaker 3: who are not black, who came from affluent families, who

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Speaker 3: came from generations of money, make poor decisions. And you

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Speaker 3: know what happened When they made poor decisions, someone covered

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Speaker 3: for them. Had nothing to do with being black. These

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Speaker 3: people were white and rich and they covered for them.

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Speaker 3: But the school covered because their parents bringing me resources.

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Speaker 3: Right when you're an athlete and they're paying for your

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Speaker 3: tuishing to go to these schools, but also the boosters

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Speaker 3: are generating, we're bringing money to the program into the school,

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Speaker 3: the school is going to cover for you. So when

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Speaker 3: you had make a poor decision in high school and

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Speaker 3: they cover for you, then you get to college and

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Speaker 3: you're the elite athlete in college and you make another

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Speaker 3: poor decision, and now they cover for you because so

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Speaker 3: many other people outside of you are invested in your

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Speaker 3: success because your success means they gain access.

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Speaker 1: To resources and funds.

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Speaker 3: It's easy to understand how a young person can then

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Speaker 3: become an adult, and now there's no one here to

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Speaker 3: buffer for you because you're an adult and you have

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Speaker 3: a phone and you're doing the same things you did,

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Speaker 3: But now the whole world is condemning you, and people

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Speaker 3: think twenty three is grown, twenty three is.

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Speaker 2: A baby baby, a baby baby.

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Speaker 1: You're making poor decisions.

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Speaker 3: Now everyone's like, oh, he got to do better. Where's

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Speaker 3: his dad, where's this person. It's a process. Let this

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Speaker 3: young man go through the process and learn, and that

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Speaker 3: does not excuse his behavior, because his behavior, if he's

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Speaker 3: done what they're saying he did, is inexcusable.

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Speaker 2: For sure. It's funny you say twenty three is still

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Speaker 2: a baby, which, of course know that. Think about us

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Speaker 2: at twenty three, we thought we had everything figured out, okay,

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Speaker 2: And you've said it before. In your twenties, you think

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Speaker 2: you know everything.

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Speaker 3: Oh, the same thing. From fifteen to twenty, you think

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Speaker 3: you know everything right. From twenty to twenty five, you

392
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Speaker 3: know you know everything. From twenty five to thirty you

393
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Speaker 3: start to realize, like, wait a minute.

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Speaker 2: With the trembling voice, I didn't know shit.

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Speaker 3: And then you spend all of your thirties trying to

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Speaker 3: fix all of the mistakes you made. I said that

397
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Speaker 3: about myself all the time, Like I look back at

398
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Speaker 3: some of the stuff I did in my twenties and

399
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Speaker 3: I'm like, dang, I did that.

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Speaker 2: I thought like that when we look at people who

401
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Speaker 2: are twenty something year old, now we're just like y'all

402
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Speaker 2: trying to do what? Like how did we? I know

403
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Speaker 2: that's how our family was looking at us, like y'all

404
00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:45,879
Speaker 2: are crazy, Like ain't you trying to move all the

405
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Speaker 2: way to Detroit to follow your man and you're twenty

406
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Speaker 2: two years old? Like, girl, what are you doing? But

407
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Speaker 2: it's funny because a study commissioned by Nickelodeon UK found

408
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Speaker 2: that men don't reach maturity until forty three. I mean,

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Speaker 2: do you think that's accurate or not? I mean, I mean,

410
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Speaker 2: be a little immature.

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Speaker 3: I could be a little immature at times, you know

412
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Speaker 3: what I'm saying, So.

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Speaker 2: All in the fun but I mean, you know that's

414
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Speaker 2: case the case because you did have a certain level

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Speaker 2: of maturity though with a lot of other things, yes,

416
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Speaker 2: early in your twenties than you did. But I guess

417
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Speaker 2: this was.

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Speaker 3: Like but I think I think maturity is relative, and

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Speaker 3: I think maturity and.

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Speaker 1: Awareness are two different things.

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Speaker 3: I think I was a little I was a little

422
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Speaker 3: aware of certain things because of how I had to

423
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Speaker 3: live my life, because I pretty much and I don't

424
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Speaker 3: want to say raise myself because my parents were there.

425
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Speaker 3: But being eight and having to get your brother and

426
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Speaker 3: bring him home and help him with his schoolwork and

427
00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:40,320
Speaker 3: do a sort of stuff kind of grew me up fast.

428
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Speaker 3: Traveling on my own from ten and doing all this

429
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Speaker 3: stuff grew me up fast.

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Speaker 2: So maybe it's also to not necessarily awareness versus maturity.

431
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Speaker 2: But at a certain age you realize that you're not

432
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Speaker 2: as invincible as you thought you were. Yes, you know,

433
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Speaker 2: like some things you think are not a big deal

434
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Speaker 2: in your twenties, people looking at it in their thirties

435
00:19:57,359 --> 00:19:59,080
Speaker 2: and forties would be like, yeah, that's a big deal.

436
00:19:59,119 --> 00:20:02,680
Speaker 2: Like to chill out, you know what I'm saying. They're

437
00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:06,960
Speaker 2: saying that typically women mature around thirty two. Interesting, and

438
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:09,360
Speaker 2: when talking about maturity, the science is based on how

439
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:13,360
Speaker 2: the brain matures. Female brains tend to identify from being

440
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Speaker 2: the moment she was a girl. However, it's not until

441
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:19,360
Speaker 2: a male begins to produce testosterone that their brains are

442
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:26,040
Speaker 2: distinguishable from females. Interesting as puberty starts, female brain jumps

443
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:28,880
Speaker 2: to at least two years older than their physical age,

444
00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:32,560
Speaker 2: whereas males, however, usually take until their late teen years

445
00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:36,600
Speaker 2: or even early twenties to match their female peers mental age.

446
00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:40,639
Speaker 3: Interesting, it kind of goes in line with all the

447
00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:42,600
Speaker 3: older guys that be at the high schools trying to

448
00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:43,560
Speaker 3: get the same girls.

449
00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:44,200
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.

450
00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:46,280
Speaker 3: It's like all them girls in high school think the

451
00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:48,760
Speaker 3: high school boys are so immature, so they want to

452
00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:51,880
Speaker 3: date the old guys. Right, But now we call those

453
00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:54,280
Speaker 3: guys pedophiles. But I remember growing up and that was

454
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:55,920
Speaker 3: that was the thing all the time.

455
00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:57,840
Speaker 2: The girl Katti, when is he going to grow up?

456
00:20:58,200 --> 00:20:59,359
Speaker 2: Is he going to grow up? You know?

457
00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:04,200
Speaker 3: In there maturity, But maturity and wisdom comes with experience

458
00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:05,439
Speaker 3: and also stepping in it.

459
00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:09,200
Speaker 1: Sometimes I'll give making mistakes. I'll give you an example, right.

460
00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:11,800
Speaker 3: You know how much I love black women, right, My

461
00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:16,680
Speaker 3: mom's black, my aunts, my grandmother's black, like they all black.

462
00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:19,640
Speaker 3: I love black women. I've been supported right by black

463
00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:21,679
Speaker 3: women my whole life. But I remember doing an interview

464
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:25,280
Speaker 3: with Madame Noir, and I wanted to create a dialogue

465
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:27,600
Speaker 3: about what pack about what people think.

466
00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:29,600
Speaker 1: So it was called ask a black man. They asked me,

467
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:30,720
Speaker 1: or do ask a black man?

468
00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:34,119
Speaker 3: And they asked the question, what's the first thing you

469
00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:36,280
Speaker 3: think of when someone says a black woman?

470
00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:36,560
Speaker 1: Right?

471
00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:39,840
Speaker 3: And my first response is, man, people always say black

472
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:43,240
Speaker 3: women are angry. That's not what I thought, but that's

473
00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:45,000
Speaker 3: the first thing when people say, oh black women. So

474
00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:47,199
Speaker 3: I said, oh, angry, and I'm thinking this is going

475
00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:51,280
Speaker 3: to create dialogue about how people view black women as angry.

476
00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:54,040
Speaker 3: And then the comments people upset, like, oh, you think

477
00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:55,880
Speaker 3: black women are angry? And I said, I never said

478
00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:59,280
Speaker 3: I thought it. The question was framed to me as

479
00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:01,399
Speaker 3: what's the first what's the first thing people think of

480
00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:03,080
Speaker 3: when when you say black women?

481
00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:04,280
Speaker 1: And I was like, angry.

482
00:22:04,359 --> 00:22:07,359
Speaker 3: Let's talk about why people think that, because I wanted

483
00:22:07,359 --> 00:22:10,400
Speaker 3: to have a conversation about how black women had to

484
00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:12,360
Speaker 3: try to find a way to thrive for themselves.

485
00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:14,880
Speaker 2: And I was twenty how old were you at the time?

486
00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:17,200
Speaker 2: Would have never answered that, I don't.

487
00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:20,120
Speaker 1: Think because of experience, And that's my whole reading the room.

488
00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:22,240
Speaker 2: Right, You can't just say can't say that, because what

489
00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:23,960
Speaker 2: they're going to do is take that clip of you

490
00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:26,520
Speaker 2: saying angry and then it goes viral and then exactly

491
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:29,639
Speaker 2: what happens, But that's black women's angry.

492
00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:33,159
Speaker 3: And that's my point though, was that experience taught me

493
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:37,399
Speaker 3: how to and it's you know, people call it media training.

494
00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:38,399
Speaker 1: It's not media training.

495
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:42,080
Speaker 3: It's experience of how to answer questions or how to

496
00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:44,399
Speaker 3: add context to whatever you want to say so that

497
00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:47,240
Speaker 3: people can understand what where you're coming from. But what

498
00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:49,920
Speaker 3: my point is is that that took time. I'm thirty

499
00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:53,480
Speaker 3: eight years old now and I would answer that completely differently.

500
00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:56,119
Speaker 3: But in that time, I was in my mood like

501
00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:58,720
Speaker 3: I'm getting ready to defend why black people, why women

502
00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:00,720
Speaker 3: think black people are angry, and they took it as

503
00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:03,480
Speaker 3: devout things Black women are angry. And when I look

504
00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:05,680
Speaker 3: back on it, I can't even be mad at them

505
00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:09,080
Speaker 3: because when I look back at it, I'm like, that's

506
00:23:09,119 --> 00:23:11,520
Speaker 3: what it seems like I said. But then you would

507
00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:13,760
Speaker 3: have to watch the whole episode to understand where I'm

508
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:17,320
Speaker 3: coming from. But then even in that, it's like devout,

509
00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:19,000
Speaker 3: Why would you even answer that like that?

510
00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:21,480
Speaker 1: But it took me time.

511
00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:23,680
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying, and that's what I'm trying

512
00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:26,760
Speaker 3: to get people to understand what this situation is that

513
00:23:27,119 --> 00:23:29,639
Speaker 3: he is going to need time to learn how to

514
00:23:29,680 --> 00:23:33,560
Speaker 3: deal with everything that's coming at him, right, Like, everybody

515
00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:37,720
Speaker 3: isn't going to be Lebron James and go.

516
00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:41,359
Speaker 1: Through the NBA unscathed by any scandals.

517
00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:44,199
Speaker 3: Like, first of all, the fact that Lebron James has

518
00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:46,800
Speaker 3: gone through the entire his entire NBA career during the

519
00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:50,600
Speaker 3: social media era with all the scrutiny unscathed is kudos

520
00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:53,280
Speaker 3: to him, right, But also it says a lot about

521
00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:55,960
Speaker 3: how he grew up because he had a single mom,

522
00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:58,280
Speaker 3: he was in the streets a lot, and he had

523
00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:02,119
Speaker 3: to learn on his own. And maybe that's the reason

524
00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:04,040
Speaker 3: why he has a lot more wisdom when it comes

525
00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:06,359
Speaker 3: to doing certain things because he did it on his own.

526
00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:09,800
Speaker 3: If John grew up in a little town where he

527
00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:11,440
Speaker 3: was coddled by his parents and then went to a

528
00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:14,399
Speaker 3: private school, that may be a reason why he doesn't

529
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:18,879
Speaker 3: understand how his behavior is being perceived so negatively by people.

530
00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:21,399
Speaker 3: And yes, it is being perceived negatively by people for

531
00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:24,399
Speaker 3: a reason, but he has to understand that.

532
00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:28,280
Speaker 2: So think about accountability partners. Right. Lebron, for example, had

533
00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:31,080
Speaker 2: Savannah that he grew up with literally since there were babies.

534
00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:33,880
Speaker 2: You and I have each other who has literally grown

535
00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:36,080
Speaker 2: up since we were babies together. Do you think it

536
00:24:36,359 --> 00:24:38,800
Speaker 2: helps to have somebody if it's not a partner, but

537
00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:41,280
Speaker 2: just someone who's that accountability partner, that might be that

538
00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:45,240
Speaker 2: person on your shoulder, Like, don't do that because you know,

539
00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:46,880
Speaker 2: because you said, you feel like you've been a lot

540
00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:50,639
Speaker 2: more successful having, for example, a woman by your side

541
00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:52,640
Speaker 2: who has helped to keep you afloat. Do you think

542
00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:54,919
Speaker 2: that that is something that would benefit from other people.

543
00:24:55,119 --> 00:24:58,080
Speaker 3: No, I think you got to be your own accountability

544
00:24:58,119 --> 00:25:00,480
Speaker 3: partner and be aware because this that happens when you

545
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:03,239
Speaker 3: have accountability partner. If your accountability partner misses something, now

546
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:04,919
Speaker 3: you have somebody to blame. Well, you're supposed to be

547
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:07,159
Speaker 3: the one to check me on that. No, you have

548
00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:10,600
Speaker 3: to go through stuff in life, and here's the sad truth.

549
00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:13,480
Speaker 3: Sometimes you got to hit rock bottom.

550
00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:12,880
Speaker 2: Yeah.

551
00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:16,960
Speaker 1: Right. For example, the thing with me and the interview.

552
00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:20,240
Speaker 3: After people saying, oh, don't like black women and he

553
00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:22,639
Speaker 3: hates black women. Because of that statement, I had to

554
00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:25,399
Speaker 3: really reflect and be like, I answered that so wrong.

555
00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:28,800
Speaker 3: But it took me having to deal with that. If

556
00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:31,280
Speaker 3: I had an accountability as someone else who was on

557
00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:33,600
Speaker 3: my shoulder, who was just like, if I don't say that,

558
00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:35,040
Speaker 3: because they're going to take it like this, and I

559
00:25:35,119 --> 00:25:38,600
Speaker 3: just listened. That would work until that person is no

560
00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:42,080
Speaker 3: longer there. I had to learn and go through that

561
00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:45,080
Speaker 3: on my own, realize how you hurt people, Realize how

562
00:25:45,119 --> 00:25:47,520
Speaker 3: what you say and what you do is not always

563
00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:50,720
Speaker 3: what you mean, but how people perceive it and how

564
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:54,000
Speaker 3: they take it matters. And sometimes it takes you going

565
00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:56,760
Speaker 3: through that to realize it. So I don't believe in

566
00:25:56,760 --> 00:26:00,000
Speaker 3: the accountability partner thing. When it comes to being responded

567
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:03,200
Speaker 3: for yourself. You have to deal with it, go through

568
00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:06,040
Speaker 3: the fire like he's going through the fire now. And

569
00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:08,840
Speaker 3: I guarantee you because if you actually listen to John

570
00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:10,879
Speaker 3: Morantz speak, he's a very intelligent person.

571
00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:11,440
Speaker 1: Right.

572
00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:14,400
Speaker 3: He may not be the most eloquent or articulate at

573
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:17,040
Speaker 3: times because once again he's still very very young. Yeah,

574
00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:19,159
Speaker 3: but he's not stupid, you know what I'm saying. You

575
00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:20,520
Speaker 3: can tell he's not stupid because he ain't come a

576
00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:22,120
Speaker 3: run here, like I don't give a fuck, I don't

577
00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:25,040
Speaker 3: care he's not. He's taking his time, you know what

578
00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:27,720
Speaker 3: I'm saying. He's being patient with it. But I'm telling you,

579
00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:29,240
Speaker 3: if he goes back and watch some of the things

580
00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:30,879
Speaker 3: he's done over the last couple of years, and then

581
00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:33,520
Speaker 3: he's gonna be like, you know what, I could do

582
00:26:33,560 --> 00:26:38,879
Speaker 3: this better. I could handle this level of professionalism and

583
00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:42,000
Speaker 3: celebrity better. And that's what I want to implore people

584
00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:45,520
Speaker 3: to do with him. But also, if you have children,

585
00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:47,600
Speaker 3: and this is where I want to talk to you

586
00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:49,679
Speaker 3: a little bit, because you and I have dealt with

587
00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:52,959
Speaker 3: this with Jackson, I want to implore people to let

588
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:55,840
Speaker 3: their children make mistakes young when the stakes are and

589
00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:56,600
Speaker 3: as high.

590
00:26:56,760 --> 00:27:00,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the philosophy that you've taken on. Because for me,

591
00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:04,239
Speaker 2: naturally being mom, you know, I want to see him

592
00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:06,119
Speaker 2: about to full. I want to catch him, you know.

593
00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:08,840
Speaker 2: I want to make sure that they try to get

594
00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:12,919
Speaker 2: through most of their life unscathed. Right. And I've learned

595
00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:18,080
Speaker 2: with each son progressively, and it's been a learning process

596
00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:23,560
Speaker 2: to allow them the space to have some mistakes, for

597
00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:26,760
Speaker 2: example Jackson, Right. And we can use Jackson as an

598
00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:28,719
Speaker 2: example most of the time. It's because he's our oldest

599
00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:29,600
Speaker 2: and we've gone through the.

600
00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:30,360
Speaker 1: Most with him.

601
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:34,800
Speaker 2: And how I would have handled differently this one scenario

602
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:37,760
Speaker 2: in the past Jackson has a virtual class that he

603
00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:40,760
Speaker 2: has to do online, right, virtual math class in order

604
00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:43,480
Speaker 2: for him to advance because he's so far ahead with math.

605
00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:47,240
Speaker 2: So we have a meeting with the teacher on FaceTime.

606
00:27:47,359 --> 00:27:50,160
Speaker 2: Set him up for everything, make sure that he has

607
00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:54,200
Speaker 2: everything to set him up for success with this particular course. Now,

608
00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:57,120
Speaker 2: what it's requiring him to do is to do work

609
00:27:57,160 --> 00:27:59,080
Speaker 2: outside of the school setting because he could have had

610
00:27:59,119 --> 00:28:01,560
Speaker 2: the option to go to attend a class in person

611
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:03,959
Speaker 2: during this, But who wants to go to some school, right,

612
00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:07,960
Speaker 2: I'm not subjecting my kid to that. Am not subjecting

613
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:09,880
Speaker 2: me to that. I'll put it that way. Okay, I'm

614
00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:11,560
Speaker 2: not sticking around for you to take a math class

615
00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:13,800
Speaker 2: in the summer. We're gonna it virtually because why, I'm

616
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:17,920
Speaker 2: also trying to teach time management skills. Old Kadeen after

617
00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:23,040
Speaker 2: this meeting with his teacher would have been like a hawk, right, Jackson,

618
00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:27,040
Speaker 2: did you do Jackson? Is this date is assignments due? Jackson?

619
00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:29,199
Speaker 2: Do you finished? Did you talk to your teacher? And

620
00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:31,240
Speaker 2: I would have been side emailing the teacher like, hey,

621
00:28:32,119 --> 00:28:35,960
Speaker 2: where's Jackson in the process with this? That's Kadeen. A

622
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:39,040
Speaker 2: couple of years ago, Kadeen now in trying to teach

623
00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:42,120
Speaker 2: accountability and trying to teach times management and trying to

624
00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:45,480
Speaker 2: teach a lesson. Overall, here are all the tools you

625
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:49,720
Speaker 2: have to be successful with this course. Every now and again.

626
00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:56,920
Speaker 2: Hey Jackson, you know, how's the virtual math class going? Okay?

627
00:28:56,960 --> 00:28:59,640
Speaker 2: Are you all caught up? Everything is good? Help?

628
00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:00,320
Speaker 3: Yeah? Thatah?

629
00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:00,840
Speaker 1: Yeah we were good.

630
00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:02,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, my gosh, gosh, I'm good.

631
00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:03,320
Speaker 1: Good. Yeah, I know.

632
00:29:03,520 --> 00:29:05,120
Speaker 2: Oh you know if you have problems and stuff, you

633
00:29:05,120 --> 00:29:06,800
Speaker 2: know you can hit right good?

634
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:08,240
Speaker 1: Got you?

635
00:29:08,440 --> 00:29:10,040
Speaker 2: I know you have a free day Sunday. You know

636
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:11,360
Speaker 2: you want to put in an hour or two?

637
00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:13,400
Speaker 1: No, because I don't need to do that. Almost off,

638
00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:14,680
Speaker 1: my gosh, I got I got it, I got it.

639
00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:18,440
Speaker 2: Fast forward to when the first module is supposed to

640
00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:21,360
Speaker 2: be over and the teacher sends an email with me

641
00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:24,440
Speaker 2: cc done it. Hey, you just wanted to touch base

642
00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:26,960
Speaker 2: because you know, with the end of the module is

643
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:29,840
Speaker 2: coming near and out of the ten assignments, Jackson is

644
00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:36,240
Speaker 2: only completed two of the ten MM. Then she called

645
00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:39,560
Speaker 2: me as a follow up to the email. Don't have

646
00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:41,080
Speaker 2: no teacher calling my phone.

647
00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:42,840
Speaker 1: That that is your rule.

648
00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:45,200
Speaker 2: Don't have to get the email by my phone. But

649
00:29:45,280 --> 00:29:47,960
Speaker 2: don't be calling and texting me sis because now why

650
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:52,200
Speaker 2: I'm looking at my son's sideways because in me trying

651
00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:55,440
Speaker 2: to be hands off to teach him a lesson, ultimately

652
00:29:55,480 --> 00:29:58,280
Speaker 2: it taught him the lesson. So now Deval and I

653
00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:00,440
Speaker 2: have in the conversation with Valda is like a side

654
00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:02,800
Speaker 2: a side convo with him, like, Yo, what's going on

655
00:30:02,840 --> 00:30:03,880
Speaker 2: with your math class?

656
00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:05,840
Speaker 3: I was very simple. I said, yeah, what's going on

657
00:30:05,880 --> 00:30:08,840
Speaker 3: with your math class? And he goes, huh. Anytime you

658
00:30:08,880 --> 00:30:10,600
Speaker 3: ask the kid a direct question and looked them in

659
00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:12,360
Speaker 3: the eye and looking at you when they first response

660
00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:15,000
Speaker 3: is hunh, that means they already know that they fucked up.

661
00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:17,160
Speaker 3: That's what's going on with your math? He first says

662
00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:20,720
Speaker 3: to me. I understand it, Jackson. I don't want to

663
00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:24,960
Speaker 3: hear that because I've heard your mom ask you many

664
00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:27,000
Speaker 3: times if you needed help and stuff and you dismissed

665
00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:29,840
Speaker 3: a verson got it in now that his eyes are

666
00:30:29,840 --> 00:30:32,120
Speaker 3: well en up, So I'm like, what's the matter matter?

667
00:30:32,440 --> 00:30:36,480
Speaker 3: I'm just upset because my math grade. What's what's your math?

668
00:30:36,640 --> 00:30:39,600
Speaker 3: I don't know yet, but I missed some assignments. Cool,

669
00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:42,920
Speaker 3: you're supposed to go to the city championship game for

670
00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:44,520
Speaker 3: Cardinal Hayes with Jay on Sunday.

671
00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:48,600
Speaker 1: Right, Yes, Okay, it's Friday.

672
00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:52,440
Speaker 3: If all of those assignments aren't made up, can't go

673
00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:57,120
Speaker 3: bro Like I'm not I'm not upset at you. I'm

674
00:30:57,160 --> 00:30:59,880
Speaker 3: You're gonna make mistakes or make poor decisions, so I'm

675
00:30:59,880 --> 00:31:03,120
Speaker 3: not angry. Your mother is not angry. But there are

676
00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:05,760
Speaker 3: also consequences for not doing what you're supposed to do,

677
00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:09,440
Speaker 3: so you're gonna have to find time to make these

678
00:31:09,440 --> 00:31:14,600
Speaker 3: assignments up before Sunday. He's huffing and puffing. Huffing and puffing. Hey,

679
00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:16,080
Speaker 3: you can huffing and puff for all you want, but

680
00:31:16,520 --> 00:31:17,720
Speaker 3: these are the consequences.

681
00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:18,440
Speaker 1: I'm not mad.

682
00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:19,760
Speaker 3: If you want to go watch TV, we could also

683
00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:20,960
Speaker 3: go watch TV. If you want to play, we could

684
00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:23,800
Speaker 3: do that. But you have to decide this young man

685
00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:29,280
Speaker 3: on Saturday night. No, it's Friday nights. Sits down with me, Dad.

686
00:31:29,280 --> 00:31:30,280
Speaker 3: Can we go over these two?

687
00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:31,800
Speaker 1: All right?

688
00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:35,000
Speaker 3: We went over the two, set a scheduled appointment with

689
00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:39,560
Speaker 3: his tu to Roger, and got six assignments done. The

690
00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:42,400
Speaker 3: next day early in the morning. He woke up early

691
00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:45,480
Speaker 3: on a Saturday when he had a long four day

692
00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:48,120
Speaker 3: weekend and got all the assignments done early in the

693
00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:51,200
Speaker 3: day on Saturday, and then finished the last one Saturday night.

694
00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:55,640
Speaker 3: The point of the story is when you allow kids

695
00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:59,520
Speaker 3: to fail when the stakes aren't as high, they learn

696
00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:04,360
Speaker 3: how to maneuver and navigate. Because this same kid, if

697
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:06,160
Speaker 3: you'd always been on his back and I made sure

698
00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:08,120
Speaker 3: the work gets done, and you do this and do that,

699
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:10,840
Speaker 3: because I've seen it happen in college. Now you're a

700
00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:14,560
Speaker 3: freshman in college, and now it's time for eligibility going

701
00:32:14,600 --> 00:32:17,480
Speaker 3: into sophomore year, and you have a zero point six

702
00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:20,560
Speaker 3: GPA because you didn't do any assignments. And the only

703
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:23,000
Speaker 3: reason why I'm telling this story is because Marcus tells

704
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:26,680
Speaker 3: the story All the time. I watched Marcus coasting. Marcus

705
00:32:26,760 --> 00:32:30,280
Speaker 3: had a zero point six GPA going into his sophomore

706
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:32,880
Speaker 3: year and almost miss camp because he had to take

707
00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:34,600
Speaker 3: sixteen credits in the summertime.

708
00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:36,080
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, I had no idea.

709
00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:38,320
Speaker 3: But since he had to take sixteen credits in the summertime,

710
00:32:38,360 --> 00:32:40,560
Speaker 3: he was out of shape because he couldn't do summer conditioning.

711
00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:42,440
Speaker 1: We get back to camp. What happened.

712
00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:45,280
Speaker 3: Marcus gets hurt because his body's out of shape. So

713
00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:49,000
Speaker 3: with sophomore year was what trash and it all started

714
00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:50,960
Speaker 3: because he didn't do what he had to do academically

715
00:32:51,040 --> 00:32:53,360
Speaker 3: his freshman year and try to play catch up more

716
00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:56,880
Speaker 3: all of the story. Teach your kids how to deal

717
00:32:56,880 --> 00:32:59,760
Speaker 3: with consequences when the stakes aren't is high, so that

718
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:02,440
Speaker 3: when mistakes become high, they don't have to deal with

719
00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:03,440
Speaker 3: the consequences.

720
00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:03,840
Speaker 2: For sure.

721
00:33:04,480 --> 00:33:07,400
Speaker 3: You'd rather get a call from a teacher in middle school, yes,

722
00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:09,760
Speaker 3: then get a call from your child when the dean

723
00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:11,880
Speaker 3: says he can no longer come to school because he's

724
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:14,880
Speaker 3: behaved poorly, or when you see him on an ESPN

725
00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:16,840
Speaker 3: ticker and he's been kicked out of the league because

726
00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:20,239
Speaker 3: he's making poor decisions. You'd rather get them conversations when

727
00:33:20,280 --> 00:33:21,160
Speaker 3: they're in middle school.

728
00:33:21,920 --> 00:33:23,920
Speaker 2: And I explain that to the teacher as well too,

729
00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:27,160
Speaker 2: because I'm also very hyper aware of the fact that

730
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:30,320
Speaker 2: my son is a black child. She knows that we're

731
00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:32,800
Speaker 2: black because we was on FaceTime together, right, yes, And

732
00:33:32,880 --> 00:33:35,000
Speaker 2: I never want her to feel like, oh, it's just

733
00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:37,760
Speaker 2: another like black kid that's just not not being supported,

734
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:40,960
Speaker 2: not being supported by his family. So that's to his

735
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:44,400
Speaker 2: own devices. So I was very clear and eloquently expressed

736
00:33:44,440 --> 00:33:47,440
Speaker 2: to the teacher that after the FaceTime Jackson, I had

737
00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:50,160
Speaker 2: a discussion and I decided to take a hands off

738
00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:51,440
Speaker 2: approach to teach him.

739
00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:56,400
Speaker 1: Tell them what you said to her grade him? How

740
00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:57,160
Speaker 1: to grade Jackson?

741
00:33:57,600 --> 00:34:00,800
Speaker 2: Remember that's I forgot. It was so fewman that I

742
00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:01,719
Speaker 2: always remember.

743
00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:03,880
Speaker 1: You said, listen, do what you have to do.

744
00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:07,400
Speaker 2: Grade him accordingly, great according I.

745
00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:09,759
Speaker 3: Was like, wow, that's a change, because old black mus

746
00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:11,000
Speaker 3: be like, don't give him a bad grade.

747
00:34:11,239 --> 00:34:14,200
Speaker 2: Let me fix this, or I would have also flown off,

748
00:34:14,239 --> 00:34:15,759
Speaker 2: which I would have been kept my composer on the

749
00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:17,160
Speaker 2: phone with the teacher and then flew off the handle,

750
00:34:17,160 --> 00:34:18,640
Speaker 2: and Jackson would have been like, oh my god, mom.

751
00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:21,760
Speaker 2: I was very calm with him. I didn't I didn't scream,

752
00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:24,640
Speaker 2: I didn't yell. It was and sometimes I think they

753
00:34:24,680 --> 00:34:27,920
Speaker 2: receive it with more, not fear, but almost like, oh shoot,

754
00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:31,239
Speaker 2: because she's too calm. You know what I mean. I

755
00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:33,320
Speaker 2: got books wasn't flying, and his wasn't.

756
00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:33,560
Speaker 1: You know.

757
00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:35,920
Speaker 2: I was very very calm, And I explained to the teacher.

758
00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:38,960
Speaker 2: I said, I've been explaining to Jackson the importance of

759
00:34:39,040 --> 00:34:42,839
Speaker 2: time management. I'm trying to teach him accountability and him

760
00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:46,879
Speaker 2: making a prioritizing his schedule, I said, because he does

761
00:34:46,920 --> 00:34:49,359
Speaker 2: have a heavy schedule, and I'm aware of that. I said,

762
00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:52,359
Speaker 2: But in the process, he understands the importance of your class,

763
00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:54,799
Speaker 2: I said, because you take the time to reach out,

764
00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:56,719
Speaker 2: and it's taken time out out of your schedule to

765
00:34:56,719 --> 00:34:59,200
Speaker 2: sit down and call an email and text me to

766
00:34:59,280 --> 00:35:02,480
Speaker 2: keep me abreast what's happening. I said, However, I want

767
00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:04,680
Speaker 2: you to understand that's the lesson I'm trying to teach here.

768
00:35:05,120 --> 00:35:08,239
Speaker 2: Jackson is fully supported by myself and my husband, I said,

769
00:35:08,239 --> 00:35:10,320
Speaker 2: but he's also eleven years old, and I'm trying to

770
00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:14,279
Speaker 2: teach lessons here. And she completely understood. I understand, I said,

771
00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:17,239
Speaker 2: so baby bear grade him accordingly. And I said, if

772
00:35:17,280 --> 00:35:19,960
Speaker 2: he gets a poor grade in this class now in

773
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:21,920
Speaker 2: the first module, and then he knows, I have to

774
00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:23,000
Speaker 2: catch up. At least he knows.

775
00:35:23,239 --> 00:35:23,640
Speaker 1: He knows.

776
00:35:23,719 --> 00:35:25,880
Speaker 2: At least he knows, you know. And I like to

777
00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:29,239
Speaker 2: shout myself out, but not going crazy on his ask

778
00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:31,400
Speaker 2: because I really in the past, which I mean, like,

779
00:35:32,120 --> 00:35:33,560
Speaker 2: what the fuck are you doing? We're not going nowhere

780
00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:35,360
Speaker 2: this weekend. You can stay to a home and do everything,

781
00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:36,879
Speaker 2: but we still got on the flight to New York,

782
00:35:37,200 --> 00:35:40,759
Speaker 2: and he found a way to juggle everything and he

783
00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:43,000
Speaker 2: understood the work in the process. So it's a win

784
00:35:43,080 --> 00:35:43,480
Speaker 2: win for me.

785
00:35:43,560 --> 00:35:45,239
Speaker 3: And I want to pat myself on the back for

786
00:35:45,320 --> 00:35:49,000
Speaker 3: helping you get to that point, baby, because there was

787
00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:50,800
Speaker 3: a lot of times where I was just like Kadem

788
00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:56,399
Speaker 3: that you're not you're not helping him by one coddling him,

789
00:35:56,400 --> 00:36:00,520
Speaker 3: but number two being the intersection between him and his

790
00:36:00,600 --> 00:36:03,120
Speaker 3: teacher and stopping something bad from happening.

791
00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:04,040
Speaker 1: Yes, and we.

792
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:07,279
Speaker 3: Can both discuss that because both of our young our

793
00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:10,479
Speaker 3: sisters extremely young, were both skipped because they were so smart.

794
00:36:10,520 --> 00:36:13,680
Speaker 3: I think the third child is always the smartest child

795
00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:16,240
Speaker 3: because they get to watch two iterations of their parents

796
00:36:16,280 --> 00:36:19,280
Speaker 3: and their siblings. So Torri and Sakari were both extremely

797
00:36:19,320 --> 00:36:22,040
Speaker 3: smart and both started school early. Yes, so they both

798
00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:25,640
Speaker 3: graduated high school early early, but they both also dealt

799
00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:28,560
Speaker 3: with maturity issues because they were so young going through

800
00:36:28,560 --> 00:36:31,680
Speaker 3: school that our parents coddled them through the process because

801
00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:35,000
Speaker 3: they were early. So your parents and my parents helped them,

802
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:37,360
Speaker 3: help them, help them then when they got to college,

803
00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:41,480
Speaker 3: and well, Sakari before college because Sakari went to boarding school,

804
00:36:41,719 --> 00:36:43,600
Speaker 3: and then it was time to apply for college. She

805
00:36:43,680 --> 00:36:45,920
Speaker 3: had no one there to help her with the process.

806
00:36:46,080 --> 00:36:46,680
Speaker 2: She was lost.

807
00:36:46,840 --> 00:36:49,279
Speaker 3: And because your mom did everything and you helped do

808
00:36:49,320 --> 00:36:50,680
Speaker 3: everything beforehand, she was lost.

809
00:36:50,719 --> 00:36:52,080
Speaker 1: And she I remember coming to our house.

810
00:36:52,160 --> 00:36:57,560
Speaker 3: She was like, I have that vague and he said, scary, skary,

811
00:36:58,320 --> 00:36:59,200
Speaker 3: what do you mean you have nothing?

812
00:36:59,280 --> 00:37:03,440
Speaker 1: She said, I have nothing. I have no schools to

813
00:37:03,480 --> 00:37:06,800
Speaker 1: go to. Everyone's talking about accepted tess and I have nothing,

814
00:37:07,040 --> 00:37:10,680
Speaker 1: and shut up, shut up? Did you apply? Did you

815
00:37:10,719 --> 00:37:11,680
Speaker 1: apply here? Did you do this?

816
00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:13,160
Speaker 2: No? I didn't know.

817
00:37:13,239 --> 00:37:13,680
Speaker 1: I didn't know.

818
00:37:13,920 --> 00:37:15,839
Speaker 2: No one helped me. And I was like, see, it's

819
00:37:15,840 --> 00:37:19,200
Speaker 2: because you were so accustomed to someone always coling. Now

820
00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:19,920
Speaker 2: you have nothing.

821
00:37:21,520 --> 00:37:24,799
Speaker 3: And my sister, my sister was the same way. My

822
00:37:24,880 --> 00:37:26,760
Speaker 3: sister was pushed through this whole process.

823
00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:27,480
Speaker 1: My mom is.

824
00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:30,040
Speaker 3: My mom is big on education. She went to school

825
00:37:30,080 --> 00:37:33,279
Speaker 3: to be an early childhood education teacher. And she she's

826
00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:36,279
Speaker 3: huge on making sure that academia is number one on

827
00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:38,360
Speaker 3: our list. So she was on our backs, so make

828
00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:39,960
Speaker 3: sure this gets done, make sure that gets done. She

829
00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:42,560
Speaker 3: was the mom who took your book report, ripped it.

830
00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:44,920
Speaker 3: The Streds did the book report. Then you submitted it,

831
00:37:45,239 --> 00:37:47,040
Speaker 3: and your teacher would say tell your mom she did

832
00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:48,080
Speaker 3: a great job, like.

833
00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:53,320
Speaker 2: The Ubiquitous Melancholy. Where's that from? No Clue The Cosby Show.

834
00:37:55,080 --> 00:37:58,399
Speaker 1: Yes, Yes, Yes, Report, Yes, the Ubiquitous Melancholy.

835
00:38:00,239 --> 00:38:03,200
Speaker 3: But then my sister got to college and she struggled

836
00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:06,720
Speaker 3: because my parents weren't there to help in the process.

837
00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:09,320
Speaker 3: And then once she got an academic advisor in college,

838
00:38:09,320 --> 00:38:10,800
Speaker 3: they helped her through the process. But then when she

839
00:38:10,880 --> 00:38:14,880
Speaker 3: graduated from college, she felt lost again. Imagine and I

840
00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:18,040
Speaker 3: want to take this back to Jah, right. Imagine being

841
00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:21,359
Speaker 3: an athlete, right, and you're in middle school and you're

842
00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:23,520
Speaker 3: nice in middle school, and they're like, oh, we want

843
00:38:23,560 --> 00:38:27,239
Speaker 3: you to go to this private school. Okay, well the

844
00:38:27,320 --> 00:38:30,560
Speaker 3: academics is kind of tough, but we're working. We'll give

845
00:38:30,560 --> 00:38:32,840
Speaker 3: you a course load that you can manage basketball in

846
00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:35,000
Speaker 3: this so okay, so y'all gonna pick out my classes.

847
00:38:35,120 --> 00:38:35,400
Speaker 2: Cool.

848
00:38:35,520 --> 00:38:37,600
Speaker 3: I'm not saying this is what happened with Ja, but

849
00:38:37,680 --> 00:38:39,240
Speaker 3: I know for a fact when I was at Polyprep,

850
00:38:39,280 --> 00:38:41,640
Speaker 3: this is what I watched. Yeah, we're gonna help you

851
00:38:41,719 --> 00:38:42,880
Speaker 3: with this, and we're gonna help you with that, and

852
00:38:43,520 --> 00:38:45,120
Speaker 3: the kids still have to do the work.

853
00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:47,440
Speaker 1: But it's like you're struggling we'll get you a tutor.

854
00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:48,600
Speaker 1: You know this will get you with that.

855
00:38:48,719 --> 00:38:51,080
Speaker 3: So your whole life you're just like, oh, okay, you

856
00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:54,319
Speaker 3: graduate from high school, you go to college. We have

857
00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:56,160
Speaker 3: an advisor for you. I know this because I went

858
00:38:56,200 --> 00:39:01,600
Speaker 3: through this at Hostra. I went to regular Hofta University.

859
00:39:02,520 --> 00:39:04,160
Speaker 3: I was in the School of Business. I was then

860
00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:07,680
Speaker 3: in the School of Communication. Some of my counterparts was

861
00:39:07,719 --> 00:39:10,640
Speaker 3: in New College. New college is away for athletes to

862
00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:12,799
Speaker 3: get easy grades or they can be eligible to play

863
00:39:12,840 --> 00:39:17,160
Speaker 3: NCUBA sports. You graduate with a degree in interdisciplinary studies,

864
00:39:18,120 --> 00:39:20,920
Speaker 3: your introduce mere stories, your minor maybe art history.

865
00:39:21,280 --> 00:39:21,759
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.

866
00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:23,879
Speaker 3: And I've watched them how they coddled the athlete through

867
00:39:23,880 --> 00:39:26,520
Speaker 3: the whole process. So, oh, you failed a class. Oh,

868
00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:28,040
Speaker 3: we'll have you make another one up in the summer.

869
00:39:28,080 --> 00:39:31,120
Speaker 3: We'll talk to this person. So your whole life, people

870
00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:33,759
Speaker 3: are moving obstacles out of your way to make sure

871
00:39:33,800 --> 00:39:36,160
Speaker 3: that you can do what you want. While doing all

872
00:39:36,200 --> 00:39:40,600
Speaker 3: of this, you're behaving like a child because realistically you

873
00:39:40,640 --> 00:39:43,360
Speaker 3: don't have to mature. Now you get drafted to the

874
00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:46,600
Speaker 3: NBA and you're a number two overall pick. You get

875
00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:49,360
Speaker 3: thirty million dollars. Then you signed a shoe deal, you

876
00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:51,799
Speaker 3: have one hundred million dollars. Now you have a total

877
00:39:51,840 --> 00:39:55,399
Speaker 3: of one hundred and thirty million dollars. You have an iPhone,

878
00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:58,000
Speaker 3: and you have all the friends that you grew up

879
00:39:58,040 --> 00:40:01,680
Speaker 3: with in that same environment who were doing childish things

880
00:40:02,080 --> 00:40:03,480
Speaker 3: in the neighborhood you grew up in.

881
00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:06,280
Speaker 2: What do you think to do it on a higher level?

882
00:40:07,200 --> 00:40:09,840
Speaker 2: Time and the resources to do it on a higher level.

883
00:40:10,160 --> 00:40:10,600
Speaker 1: Thank you.

884
00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:13,759
Speaker 3: That is the environment that some of these athletes are

885
00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:17,000
Speaker 3: living in, and it is not an excuse. I'm not

886
00:40:17,040 --> 00:40:19,160
Speaker 3: saying that we should just let them off the hook.

887
00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:23,440
Speaker 3: What I'm saying is give these young people time to mature.

888
00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:27,120
Speaker 3: Since we're watching them in real time. Just give them

889
00:40:27,200 --> 00:40:29,680
Speaker 3: time to mature, and if they continue to make the

890
00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:32,359
Speaker 3: same mistakes, then it's like, hey, dude, you've had enough.

891
00:40:32,840 --> 00:40:34,000
Speaker 1: It's now as consequences.

892
00:40:34,040 --> 00:40:36,200
Speaker 2: We try to tell yeah, brother, we try to tell

893
00:40:36,280 --> 00:40:40,279
Speaker 2: yah mm mmmm and shout out to me again. I'm

894
00:40:40,320 --> 00:40:44,320
Speaker 2: just kidding. No. I say that because I'm thinking what

895
00:40:44,840 --> 00:40:46,479
Speaker 2: made me think about just going back to the story

896
00:40:46,480 --> 00:40:49,960
Speaker 2: about parents, how different I parent compared to my mom.

897
00:40:50,040 --> 00:40:52,640
Speaker 2: Initially when I was raising we were like I had Jackson.

898
00:40:52,640 --> 00:40:55,120
Speaker 2: I remember a time in second grade where he wasn't

899
00:40:55,160 --> 00:40:57,960
Speaker 2: bringing home his homework. There was confusion. Remember he had

900
00:40:57,960 --> 00:41:00,000
Speaker 2: that one teacher that was just like, yeah, it was

901
00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:02,040
Speaker 2: weird because she used to teach fourth grade. She came

902
00:41:02,080 --> 00:41:06,080
Speaker 2: to second grade. She wasn't organized Catyle, yes this Catel

903
00:41:06,360 --> 00:41:08,560
Speaker 2: and Jackson was super confused about what to do, and

904
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:10,799
Speaker 2: she was expecting certain things from them that she was

905
00:41:10,880 --> 00:41:13,200
Speaker 2: used to with her fourth graders, but she was now

906
00:41:13,239 --> 00:41:15,520
Speaker 2: teaching second grade. As my girl, you have to like

907
00:41:15,719 --> 00:41:18,359
Speaker 2: work through these things with the kids. And Jackson would

908
00:41:18,360 --> 00:41:19,960
Speaker 2: come home like Jackson, where's your home or where's this?

909
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:21,239
Speaker 2: And he's like, I don't know, I don't know. He

910
00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:23,879
Speaker 2: was confused, Yeah, And I was yelling and screaming at him,

911
00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:25,799
Speaker 2: like you need to bring home yourself like that, because

912
00:41:25,800 --> 00:41:27,680
Speaker 2: that's what my mom used to do with us. God forbid.

913
00:41:27,760 --> 00:41:29,080
Speaker 2: We forgot a book at home and we had to

914
00:41:29,080 --> 00:41:32,600
Speaker 2: test the next day. I mean literally, my mother was

915
00:41:32,680 --> 00:41:35,520
Speaker 2: like chewing our heads off, livid because she's like, how

916
00:41:35,560 --> 00:41:37,120
Speaker 2: are you going to prepare for schoolwork? How are you

917
00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:38,880
Speaker 2: gonna prepare for this test? And you don't have your stuff.

918
00:41:39,440 --> 00:41:41,759
Speaker 2: So I did the same thing to Jackson, and I

919
00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:44,360
Speaker 2: saw like the fear in his eyes, yes, and the disappointment,

920
00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:48,120
Speaker 2: but also the confusion because he didn't know. So now

921
00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:50,640
Speaker 2: I'm like, this is a different approach that I have

922
00:41:50,719 --> 00:41:52,399
Speaker 2: to take, and not just parent the way I saw

923
00:41:52,480 --> 00:41:55,799
Speaker 2: my parents' parent but parenting in my own style and

924
00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:58,160
Speaker 2: what I think is going to be conducive to the

925
00:41:58,200 --> 00:41:59,960
Speaker 2: type of child I'm trying to raise in the type

926
00:41:59,960 --> 00:42:01,360
Speaker 2: of lessons that I'm trying to teach.

927
00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:05,360
Speaker 3: So I think that's a good point because this situation

928
00:42:05,480 --> 00:42:08,680
Speaker 3: with Job is also something new to everyone because people

929
00:42:08,719 --> 00:42:12,280
Speaker 3: are saying, like, he should know better on social media.

930
00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:15,000
Speaker 3: Social media is a very new thing still. It just

931
00:42:15,040 --> 00:42:17,080
Speaker 3: came out in two thousand and four. Yes, it is

932
00:42:17,120 --> 00:42:19,759
Speaker 3: twenty twenty three, which means it is nineteen years old,

933
00:42:20,440 --> 00:42:24,080
Speaker 3: nineteen jobs twenty three, which means Joe was born right

934
00:42:24,120 --> 00:42:28,000
Speaker 3: before social media became a serious thing. So everything we're

935
00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:33,359
Speaker 3: watching now, we're actually learning this is all Like, of course,

936
00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:35,919
Speaker 3: someone't call it cause a test run. It's a test

937
00:42:36,040 --> 00:42:39,160
Speaker 3: run in life. It's a social it's yes, it's like

938
00:42:39,200 --> 00:42:41,759
Speaker 3: a real life social experiment how people act when they

939
00:42:41,760 --> 00:42:46,040
Speaker 3: have social media. I want to ask parents this because

940
00:42:46,080 --> 00:42:48,560
Speaker 3: I also do well. I did social media checks when

941
00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:53,680
Speaker 3: I had my program Prototype Elite Prototype Athletics in New York,

942
00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:56,280
Speaker 3: and I huld do social media checks, and the stuff

943
00:42:56,320 --> 00:43:00,560
Speaker 3: that they see on social media often dictate how they

944
00:43:00,600 --> 00:43:02,719
Speaker 3: behave on social media.

945
00:43:02,960 --> 00:43:05,520
Speaker 2: Because the fed more of that particular thing.

946
00:43:05,760 --> 00:43:10,120
Speaker 3: And if the algorithm feeds you what you type in,

947
00:43:10,880 --> 00:43:14,120
Speaker 3: they create the world. So you think everybody is seeing

948
00:43:14,160 --> 00:43:18,640
Speaker 3: the same thing you see. So say, for example, go

949
00:43:18,760 --> 00:43:21,719
Speaker 3: into the strip club and throwing up gang signs and

950
00:43:21,760 --> 00:43:24,480
Speaker 3: flashing guns. It's all you see because that's all you

951
00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:27,080
Speaker 3: type up because from a young man, that's all you

952
00:43:27,160 --> 00:43:32,280
Speaker 3: were interested in because of social media, rap music, other things.

953
00:43:32,760 --> 00:43:34,239
Speaker 3: Now that you have your own social media and you

954
00:43:34,280 --> 00:43:35,759
Speaker 3: have actually do stuff, you know what you're gonna do.

955
00:43:35,840 --> 00:43:38,680
Speaker 3: Emulate the behavior that you think everybody else is emulating.

956
00:43:38,760 --> 00:43:40,200
Speaker 3: That's it, you know what I'm saying. That's also the

957
00:43:40,280 --> 00:43:43,279
Speaker 3: dangers of social media, which is why our children don't

958
00:43:43,280 --> 00:43:45,919
Speaker 3: have social media. That's why Jackson, who's turning twelve now,

959
00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:51,759
Speaker 3: I finally allowed him to get an Instagram, but he's

960
00:43:51,800 --> 00:43:54,359
Speaker 3: not allowed to have his own Instagram. And his Instagram

961
00:43:54,680 --> 00:43:57,680
Speaker 3: is linked to my phone, so at any moment I

962
00:43:57,719 --> 00:44:00,279
Speaker 3: can go on my phone go to his profile, he

963
00:44:00,320 --> 00:44:03,280
Speaker 3: doesn't have his name on it, he doesn't have any pictures,

964
00:44:03,480 --> 00:44:06,000
Speaker 3: he's not allowed to share anything, but he's allowed to

965
00:44:06,320 --> 00:44:09,120
Speaker 3: look up basketball highlights and all this other stuff. So

966
00:44:09,160 --> 00:44:12,360
Speaker 3: I go to his profile to see the search history,

967
00:44:12,400 --> 00:44:14,000
Speaker 3: because that's what happens. And then I look at us,

968
00:44:14,080 --> 00:44:16,560
Speaker 3: making sure like, Okay, he's not watching too much of this,

969
00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:18,560
Speaker 3: he's not watching too much of this. He's also looking

970
00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:22,560
Speaker 3: up this. I also send him motivational stuff. I send

971
00:44:22,640 --> 00:44:26,360
Speaker 3: him positivity stuff. I send him intellectual stuff, so that

972
00:44:26,440 --> 00:44:28,560
Speaker 3: it becomes part of his search history.

973
00:44:28,640 --> 00:44:30,960
Speaker 1: So there's a little there's a little trick. There's a

974
00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:32,200
Speaker 1: little trick I'm gonna tell parents.

975
00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:37,120
Speaker 3: I go into his Instagram and I look up certain

976
00:44:37,160 --> 00:44:40,239
Speaker 3: things I like. For example, the last few weeks, I've

977
00:44:40,239 --> 00:44:44,360
Speaker 3: looked up Confucius quotes, motivational quotes. So now when he

978
00:44:44,400 --> 00:44:48,480
Speaker 3: looked when he opens up his not his search, his homepage.

979
00:44:48,640 --> 00:44:50,359
Speaker 3: When he comes on his homepage, he's like, what is this?

980
00:44:50,920 --> 00:44:54,080
Speaker 3: He doesn't know why it's there. So what I'm starting

981
00:44:54,080 --> 00:44:57,080
Speaker 3: to do is I'm trying to remember the movie insumption.

982
00:44:57,640 --> 00:44:59,840
Speaker 3: When you can plant an idea in someone's head, was

983
00:44:59,880 --> 00:45:04,399
Speaker 3: like curating his social media world by putting stuff on

984
00:45:04,440 --> 00:45:06,440
Speaker 3: his page that he didn't even know he was looking for.

985
00:45:06,640 --> 00:45:08,560
Speaker 1: And then he'll come to me, Dad, did you know?

986
00:45:08,640 --> 00:45:11,200
Speaker 3: No? No, And I'm like, well, tell me about it,

987
00:45:11,680 --> 00:45:14,040
Speaker 3: and then I'm engaged in his social media world so

988
00:45:14,080 --> 00:45:16,640
Speaker 3: that we can create it together. And this is why

989
00:45:16,880 --> 00:45:19,319
Speaker 3: I wanted to talk about the Jah Morant thing as

990
00:45:19,320 --> 00:45:21,120
Speaker 3: a dad. People are saying, what is his father doing?

991
00:45:21,400 --> 00:45:23,520
Speaker 3: John Moran's father don't know how to deal with social media.

992
00:45:24,040 --> 00:45:26,080
Speaker 2: But also to what I was going to say when

993
00:45:26,120 --> 00:45:29,200
Speaker 2: you mentioned the whole Jackson thing, we talk about athletes

994
00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:33,319
Speaker 2: and entertainers being positive role models for the youth, right

995
00:45:33,400 --> 00:45:35,279
Speaker 2: because what they see is what they're going to want

996
00:45:35,280 --> 00:45:38,560
Speaker 2: to emulate. But also too, then there's the where are

997
00:45:38,600 --> 00:45:41,440
Speaker 2: the parents who are now filtering and buffering what they

998
00:45:41,480 --> 00:45:45,000
Speaker 2: do see from these entertainers and then making sure that

999
00:45:45,040 --> 00:45:48,680
Speaker 2: their children know better for lack of a better word, Right,

1000
00:45:49,560 --> 00:45:52,840
Speaker 2: that's interesting that now we can curate almost this world

1001
00:45:53,440 --> 00:45:56,759
Speaker 2: and curate their social media world by having access to

1002
00:45:56,880 --> 00:45:59,680
Speaker 2: their social media if your child does have it, you know,

1003
00:45:59,719 --> 00:46:01,440
Speaker 2: because you know me, I was a hard no on

1004
00:46:01,480 --> 00:46:03,520
Speaker 2: any social media. You will come to the kids and

1005
00:46:03,520 --> 00:46:07,680
Speaker 2: everything like that. But just's also sorry, because I also

1006
00:46:07,840 --> 00:46:10,319
Speaker 2: understand that Jackson is someone who likes to research, and

1007
00:46:10,320 --> 00:46:13,520
Speaker 2: he likes to investigate things if he's interested in it.

1008
00:46:13,800 --> 00:46:15,920
Speaker 2: So I can see how giving him a little bit

1009
00:46:15,960 --> 00:46:17,960
Speaker 2: of that leeway will make him feel like he's all

1010
00:46:18,040 --> 00:46:21,200
Speaker 2: right part of it. But he's also not understanding that

1011
00:46:21,680 --> 00:46:24,200
Speaker 2: Dad is curating a world for him with his phone.

1012
00:46:24,239 --> 00:46:25,239
Speaker 1: But here's a crazy thing, though.

1013
00:46:25,320 --> 00:46:28,959
Speaker 3: Being a hard no for a young person only means

1014
00:46:28,960 --> 00:46:30,600
Speaker 3: that he's going to be a hard know in front

1015
00:46:30,600 --> 00:46:33,359
Speaker 3: of you if you gave your son a phone, or

1016
00:46:33,400 --> 00:46:35,400
Speaker 3: if his friends have access to a phone. I know

1017
00:46:35,520 --> 00:46:39,600
Speaker 3: this because I was a mentor for hundreds of young boys.

1018
00:46:39,600 --> 00:46:43,000
Speaker 3: There were kids who parents came to me. It was

1019
00:46:43,040 --> 00:46:45,279
Speaker 3: just like, I got this note from the school that

1020
00:46:45,640 --> 00:46:47,400
Speaker 3: so and so I don't want to say names, of course,

1021
00:46:47,800 --> 00:46:50,440
Speaker 3: so and so was involved in some bullying online with

1022
00:46:50,480 --> 00:46:51,799
Speaker 3: Da Da Da da, And it was like, this has

1023
00:46:51,840 --> 00:46:53,719
Speaker 3: to be fake because my son doesn't even have a phone.

1024
00:46:53,800 --> 00:46:56,040
Speaker 1: I was like, and like, what you mean?

1025
00:46:56,120 --> 00:46:59,319
Speaker 3: I said, a lot of these kids create profiles on

1026
00:46:59,360 --> 00:47:04,719
Speaker 3: their friends phones. And one of the kids who got

1027
00:47:04,719 --> 00:47:07,839
Speaker 3: in trouble it actually was not him, but he let

1028
00:47:07,880 --> 00:47:12,600
Speaker 3: his friend use his phone and his friend no, not

1029
00:47:12,840 --> 00:47:15,880
Speaker 3: his friend had his own profile on the kid's phone

1030
00:47:15,920 --> 00:47:19,279
Speaker 3: and was bullying other kids. But you know, because of this,

1031
00:47:19,360 --> 00:47:21,000
Speaker 3: it was all like, oh, well, it's his phone, it's him,

1032
00:47:21,040 --> 00:47:22,759
Speaker 3: it's him, it's him. It came from him. And the

1033
00:47:22,840 --> 00:47:24,680
Speaker 3: kid was like, I had no idea that my friend

1034
00:47:24,760 --> 00:47:27,040
Speaker 3: was doing this. But that also shows you. And then

1035
00:47:27,080 --> 00:47:29,160
Speaker 3: you speak to that kid's parents and mind they all

1036
00:47:29,200 --> 00:47:31,520
Speaker 3: tell you my son's not allowed to have social media,

1037
00:47:32,560 --> 00:47:34,560
Speaker 3: So that hard no only means it's going to be

1038
00:47:34,560 --> 00:47:37,839
Speaker 3: a hard no in front of you. The best thing

1039
00:47:37,920 --> 00:47:40,360
Speaker 3: to do is to try to curate the experience for

1040
00:47:40,480 --> 00:47:43,080
Speaker 3: your children, especially in the middle school age, because if

1041
00:47:43,080 --> 00:47:46,680
Speaker 3: you think that your children are beyond thinking or talking

1042
00:47:46,760 --> 00:47:50,800
Speaker 3: about sex, thinking or talking about drugs and alcohol thinking,

1043
00:47:51,239 --> 00:47:55,359
Speaker 3: or above thinking talking about violence and bullying, you're wrong.

1044
00:47:56,000 --> 00:47:58,040
Speaker 3: You're wrong. If you if you think that you can

1045
00:47:58,080 --> 00:48:00,440
Speaker 3: ignore it because your child would never do that, you're wrong.

1046
00:48:00,840 --> 00:48:03,240
Speaker 3: You have to curate the experience so that they understand

1047
00:48:03,280 --> 00:48:07,240
Speaker 3: the consequences with all three and make sure that you're involved,

1048
00:48:07,239 --> 00:48:09,680
Speaker 3: so that they feel adults enough to be like, oh,

1049
00:48:09,760 --> 00:48:13,160
Speaker 3: I'm making a decision with my parents' parents not being told,

1050
00:48:13,719 --> 00:48:15,840
Speaker 3: because when you tell kids not to do this, and

1051
00:48:15,880 --> 00:48:18,839
Speaker 3: you say this, this right here, what's happening. The job

1052
00:48:18,960 --> 00:48:21,840
Speaker 3: is ultimately what happens. They get money, they're on their own.

1053
00:48:22,400 --> 00:48:23,880
Speaker 3: There's no one to tell them what not to do,

1054
00:48:23,920 --> 00:48:26,600
Speaker 3: because all of the hanger ons and friends are saying, yo,

1055
00:48:26,680 --> 00:48:28,919
Speaker 3: do what you want to do because now you're worth

1056
00:48:28,920 --> 00:48:30,680
Speaker 3: millions and they want to be a part of their lifestyle.

1057
00:48:30,719 --> 00:48:30,919
Speaker 2: Time.

1058
00:48:31,280 --> 00:48:33,360
Speaker 1: They gonna let you do it until you self distructed.

1059
00:48:33,400 --> 00:48:37,000
Speaker 2: Should be lonely, baby, it should be lonely. All right,

1060
00:48:37,120 --> 00:48:40,440
Speaker 2: let's transition into a quick break and then we'll come

1061
00:48:40,480 --> 00:48:43,919
Speaker 2: back for some listener letters. Sound good, Bow bow baby boo.

1062
00:48:44,239 --> 00:48:57,920
Speaker 2: Stick around, y'all. All right, we're back, We back, and

1063
00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:02,200
Speaker 2: let's dive. First of all, I'm a fan of your

1064
00:49:02,239 --> 00:49:04,759
Speaker 2: podcast as well as your book, which I have already read.

1065
00:49:04,960 --> 00:49:07,839
Speaker 2: Great book, awesome, thank you. I also attended your live

1066
00:49:07,880 --> 00:49:11,720
Speaker 2: podcast in Chicago recently. Great show. Yeah, Chicago was live,

1067
00:49:11,880 --> 00:49:14,680
Speaker 2: y'all live that all our Patreon people will be able

1068
00:49:14,719 --> 00:49:16,880
Speaker 2: to see the live show, So make sure y'all just

1069
00:49:17,040 --> 00:49:19,480
Speaker 2: signed up. I think that was probably my most favorite

1070
00:49:19,880 --> 00:49:24,919
Speaker 2: city this round of Chicago, hands down. Chicago. Was it?

1071
00:49:25,480 --> 00:49:28,040
Speaker 2: All right, y'all? I just want to give you both

1072
00:49:28,080 --> 00:49:30,279
Speaker 2: your Flowers, I appreciate that. I love the message that

1073
00:49:30,320 --> 00:49:32,640
Speaker 2: you both sent out to your fans, with me being

1074
00:49:32,640 --> 00:49:35,959
Speaker 2: one of them. With that being said, I wouldn't ask

1075
00:49:36,040 --> 00:49:39,879
Speaker 2: anyone else this question. I recently ended a three year relationship,

1076
00:49:40,120 --> 00:49:43,960
Speaker 2: but thinking about a friend with benefits with the same X,

1077
00:49:45,000 --> 00:49:46,919
Speaker 2: there's no punctuation in here, so I'm trying to make.

1078
00:49:46,840 --> 00:49:49,200
Speaker 1: Sure this person wrote a whole.

1079
00:49:51,719 --> 00:49:53,040
Speaker 2: At the very end of it, so I'm trying to

1080
00:49:53,040 --> 00:49:55,480
Speaker 2: think where the thought slops. But thinking about a friends

1081
00:49:55,520 --> 00:49:59,560
Speaker 2: with benefit relationship, I guess with this same X, is

1082
00:49:59,640 --> 00:50:02,080
Speaker 2: it ever a good idea to do friends with benefits

1083
00:50:02,120 --> 00:50:04,440
Speaker 2: with an X? I'm just curious about both of your opinions.

1084
00:50:05,920 --> 00:50:07,560
Speaker 2: So if you ended the three year relationship, I can

1085
00:50:07,680 --> 00:50:10,120
Speaker 2: I guess I'm wondering why. Maybe you guys realize that

1086
00:50:10,160 --> 00:50:13,239
Speaker 2: the relationship situation wasn't working out, but the sex is bombs,

1087
00:50:13,280 --> 00:50:14,719
Speaker 2: so you're just like, you know what, I'll keep you

1088
00:50:14,760 --> 00:50:17,440
Speaker 2: around for some good sex on the side.

1089
00:50:17,480 --> 00:50:18,120
Speaker 1: This is what I think.

1090
00:50:18,160 --> 00:50:21,040
Speaker 2: But is there an agreement that y'all have?

1091
00:50:21,239 --> 00:50:23,200
Speaker 1: That's what I think. I'm not mad at this, and

1092
00:50:23,239 --> 00:50:23,960
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you why.

1093
00:50:24,040 --> 00:50:27,320
Speaker 3: Okay, anyone who chooses to practice safe sex with someone

1094
00:50:27,360 --> 00:50:31,200
Speaker 3: that they trust, with someone that they trust. I applauded, Yes,

1095
00:50:31,560 --> 00:50:34,719
Speaker 3: you know, because I say you have I don't want

1096
00:50:34,760 --> 00:50:36,160
Speaker 3: to say that's a bad term. I was gonna say,

1097
00:50:36,160 --> 00:50:37,480
Speaker 3: say you have an itch you want scratch, that's a

1098
00:50:37,520 --> 00:50:40,399
Speaker 3: bad term. We'll talk about safe sex, but say you're

1099
00:50:40,400 --> 00:50:44,240
Speaker 3: trying to to engage in sexual activity. Why not engage

1100
00:50:44,280 --> 00:50:47,080
Speaker 3: with someone that you you know already and if they

1101
00:50:47,120 --> 00:50:48,799
Speaker 3: have great sex. You don't want to be out here

1102
00:50:48,840 --> 00:50:51,520
Speaker 3: just trying to jump and soul tied with another person,

1103
00:50:51,760 --> 00:50:54,400
Speaker 3: soul tied with another person. Listen, we know we're not

1104
00:50:54,400 --> 00:50:57,560
Speaker 3: gonna be together forever. We're not working on this long term,

1105
00:50:57,600 --> 00:51:00,120
Speaker 3: so let's just have fun. The only thing that can

1106
00:51:00,280 --> 00:51:02,839
Speaker 3: be an issue with that is that you can't open

1107
00:51:02,880 --> 00:51:05,360
Speaker 3: yourself up to finding true love if you're continuing to

1108
00:51:05,400 --> 00:51:07,240
Speaker 3: be in this relationship with someone.

1109
00:51:07,800 --> 00:51:08,440
Speaker 1: You understand what.

1110
00:51:08,400 --> 00:51:11,680
Speaker 3: I'm saying, Like I think, Steve Harvey made this analogy

1111
00:51:11,680 --> 00:51:13,640
Speaker 3: about how he wanted a new car, wanted a new car,

1112
00:51:13,719 --> 00:51:15,480
Speaker 3: wanted a new car, so he kept his old car

1113
00:51:15,520 --> 00:51:17,560
Speaker 3: in the driveway and kept saying, thing, I keep working,

1114
00:51:17,560 --> 00:51:19,040
Speaker 3: but I can't get a new car, and his dad

1115
00:51:19,080 --> 00:51:21,120
Speaker 3: told him, you won't be able to get a new

1116
00:51:21,160 --> 00:51:23,000
Speaker 3: car till you create space for the new car.

1117
00:51:23,719 --> 00:51:25,280
Speaker 1: So he got rid of the old one.

1118
00:51:26,120 --> 00:51:27,680
Speaker 3: And when he realized when he got rid of the

1119
00:51:27,719 --> 00:51:30,799
Speaker 3: old one, metaphorically, not only did he get rid of it,

1120
00:51:30,840 --> 00:51:32,879
Speaker 3: he got rid of the mindset that he had a car.

1121
00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:35,319
Speaker 3: So he worked harder to get the new one and

1122
00:51:35,440 --> 00:51:38,239
Speaker 3: ended up getting the new one faster because he got

1123
00:51:38,320 --> 00:51:39,840
Speaker 3: rid of it. I feel like that's kind of the

1124
00:51:39,840 --> 00:51:42,319
Speaker 3: same thing here. You know, you're less likely to go

1125
00:51:42,360 --> 00:51:44,600
Speaker 3: out and find your soul mates or the person that

1126
00:51:44,680 --> 00:51:47,800
Speaker 3: you want to be with for eternity if you're continuing,

1127
00:51:48,000 --> 00:51:51,160
Speaker 3: continuing to conodle and be comfortable with someone else.

1128
00:51:51,080 --> 00:51:53,960
Speaker 2: Right right, right, right, that's it's actually difference. I didn't

1129
00:51:53,960 --> 00:51:56,040
Speaker 2: think of it that way, like that could impede the

1130
00:51:56,040 --> 00:51:59,600
Speaker 2: process that he finding somebody knew, but that's what's right.

1131
00:52:00,160 --> 00:52:03,120
Speaker 2: But I understand and guaranteed safe good sex is probably

1132
00:52:03,600 --> 00:52:06,040
Speaker 2: hard to find. So you know how I keep this

1133
00:52:06,080 --> 00:52:06,520
Speaker 2: one around.

1134
00:52:06,560 --> 00:52:07,920
Speaker 1: You know, that's what you get me around.

1135
00:52:07,960 --> 00:52:08,960
Speaker 2: That's how I keep them around.

1136
00:52:09,040 --> 00:52:10,560
Speaker 1: Good sex and the American Express.

1137
00:52:10,719 --> 00:52:13,600
Speaker 2: Oh, good sex and the American Express.

1138
00:52:17,440 --> 00:52:19,920
Speaker 1: Glad I get married good sex in the American Express.

1139
00:52:20,040 --> 00:52:22,759
Speaker 2: That's gonna be my next shirt. I'm about to copyright that,

1140
00:52:22,760 --> 00:52:25,920
Speaker 2: so nobody steal that, all right, I'm about to put

1141
00:52:25,960 --> 00:52:28,600
Speaker 2: it on the put it on the Dead Ass podcast

1142
00:52:28,960 --> 00:52:32,040
Speaker 2: page for merch. But yeah, good luck to you, says.

1143
00:52:32,040 --> 00:52:34,960
Speaker 2: Hopefully it works out and both of y'all's favor and

1144
00:52:35,040 --> 00:52:37,920
Speaker 2: hopefully you know he'll be signed up to. Actually, I

1145
00:52:37,960 --> 00:52:39,279
Speaker 2: don't know if it's he or sheet because it didn't

1146
00:52:39,280 --> 00:52:42,879
Speaker 2: specify and specifying. Yeah, but do you think number two?

1147
00:52:44,080 --> 00:52:46,320
Speaker 3: Hey, Kadeen and Davos. So, I've been dating my boyfriend

1148
00:52:46,400 --> 00:52:48,600
Speaker 3: for about five months now. I love him so much.

1149
00:52:48,680 --> 00:52:51,080
Speaker 3: I see he loves me a lot too. That's good

1150
00:52:51,120 --> 00:52:53,600
Speaker 3: for both of you. I like that for you guys. Uh,

1151
00:52:53,719 --> 00:52:56,360
Speaker 3: But before meeting me, I think he had this picture

1152
00:52:56,400 --> 00:52:58,000
Speaker 3: of the kind of woman he wanted to be with.

1153
00:52:58,080 --> 00:53:00,560
Speaker 3: Were both Christians, but he's more vocal about it and

1154
00:53:00,680 --> 00:53:04,000
Speaker 3: has his beliefs in all. I love to have. Oh,

1155
00:53:04,080 --> 00:53:05,840
Speaker 3: I love to have a glass of wine to unwind

1156
00:53:05,920 --> 00:53:07,719
Speaker 3: or hang out with friends and have a cocktail. But

1157
00:53:07,800 --> 00:53:09,839
Speaker 3: he doesn't like me drinking alcohol, but I see nothing

1158
00:53:09,880 --> 00:53:13,919
Speaker 3: wrong with it. So I've been trying to stop that,

1159
00:53:14,040 --> 00:53:16,480
Speaker 3: and it looks like I'm trying to settle Oh.

1160
00:53:16,560 --> 00:53:17,399
Speaker 1: I know where this is going.

1161
00:53:17,640 --> 00:53:19,960
Speaker 3: I also love to go to parties, like if it's

1162
00:53:19,960 --> 00:53:21,880
Speaker 3: for friends and all. I'm not a party freak, but

1163
00:53:21,960 --> 00:53:23,719
Speaker 3: I love to go with him and he doesn't like

1164
00:53:23,800 --> 00:53:27,640
Speaker 3: to go to places like that. He also is Christian Pentecostal.

1165
00:53:28,200 --> 00:53:31,320
Speaker 3: While I'm Catholic. He doesn't believe in the Catholic faith

1166
00:53:31,560 --> 00:53:34,799
Speaker 3: and tries to make me go into his faith, being

1167
00:53:34,840 --> 00:53:38,160
Speaker 3: Catholic all my life. I honestly don't mind switching when

1168
00:53:38,160 --> 00:53:40,480
Speaker 3: we get married because I should be able to trust

1169
00:53:40,520 --> 00:53:43,560
Speaker 3: his leadership to lead. But it feels off and I

1170
00:53:43,640 --> 00:53:46,320
Speaker 3: just feel like I'm settling into this life. I'm selling

1171
00:53:46,360 --> 00:53:49,239
Speaker 3: into his life. What do y'all think? I'm a huge

1172
00:53:49,280 --> 00:53:50,840
Speaker 3: fan and I love y'all. We love you to thank you.

1173
00:53:50,920 --> 00:53:53,239
Speaker 2: Kay you a huge fan, baby. You know. We don't

1174
00:53:53,239 --> 00:53:55,799
Speaker 2: settle over here. That's one thing that we do not

1175
00:53:55,920 --> 00:53:59,439
Speaker 2: do now. Granted, people's relationship with the Lord I don't

1176
00:53:59,440 --> 00:54:02,120
Speaker 2: speak much on because I believe that's a very personal thing.

1177
00:54:02,600 --> 00:54:04,640
Speaker 2: But I don't believe in settling when it comes to

1178
00:54:04,640 --> 00:54:06,520
Speaker 2: a relationship. I don't feel like you should have to

1179
00:54:06,600 --> 00:54:12,000
Speaker 2: give up things that matter to you greatly because someone

1180
00:54:12,040 --> 00:54:15,520
Speaker 2: else is requiring that from you. I'm just not an

1181
00:54:15,560 --> 00:54:19,000
Speaker 2: advocate for that at all. Period.

1182
00:54:19,160 --> 00:54:22,480
Speaker 3: I don't have to agree when you date. You date

1183
00:54:22,520 --> 00:54:25,399
Speaker 3: to find out if there are synergies. When you don't

1184
00:54:25,400 --> 00:54:27,960
Speaker 3: feel what something feels off, something doesn't feel good, you

1185
00:54:27,960 --> 00:54:29,840
Speaker 3: can either make a choice to work on it because

1186
00:54:29,880 --> 00:54:32,839
Speaker 3: you want to, but to work on it because he

1187
00:54:32,880 --> 00:54:36,560
Speaker 3: wants you to. It's never a good science. That's extremely different.

1188
00:54:36,600 --> 00:54:38,400
Speaker 3: Like Kadeen and I talk about in our book We

1189
00:54:38,440 --> 00:54:40,160
Speaker 3: over Meet the Counter two with approach Getting Everything you

1190
00:54:40,160 --> 00:54:42,200
Speaker 3: Want out your Relationship New York Times bestseller.

1191
00:54:42,520 --> 00:54:45,040
Speaker 2: We talk about.

1192
00:54:45,920 --> 00:54:50,680
Speaker 3: We talk about being of service, but not at the

1193
00:54:50,719 --> 00:54:55,840
Speaker 3: detriment of losing yourself. That's very, very important. She said,

1194
00:54:56,160 --> 00:54:59,840
Speaker 3: I feel like I'm settling into his life. I feel

1195
00:54:59,840 --> 00:55:04,200
Speaker 3: like I'm settling into the life I want, and I'm

1196
00:55:04,200 --> 00:55:04,960
Speaker 3: sharing it.

1197
00:55:05,040 --> 00:55:06,040
Speaker 1: With this woman.

1198
00:55:06,120 --> 00:55:08,719
Speaker 2: And you're with someone who gives you the latitude to

1199
00:55:08,840 --> 00:55:11,120
Speaker 2: be able to stretch and to grow into that life

1200
00:55:11,120 --> 00:55:13,920
Speaker 2: that you want without judgment. And the worst thing that

1201
00:55:14,000 --> 00:55:16,800
Speaker 2: you could feel is judgment from anybody, much less your spouse.

1202
00:55:17,000 --> 00:55:18,960
Speaker 3: So I have a question ask you, as a woman,

1203
00:55:19,560 --> 00:55:21,719
Speaker 3: do you feel like you've settled into my life or

1204
00:55:21,800 --> 00:55:23,160
Speaker 3: do you feel like you're living the life you.

1205
00:55:23,080 --> 00:55:25,000
Speaker 2: Will absolutely not. I don't feel like I've settled into

1206
00:55:25,040 --> 00:55:27,400
Speaker 2: your life. I've settled into the life that I've wanted

1207
00:55:27,400 --> 00:55:31,640
Speaker 2: for myself, that I have envisioned for myself, and I've

1208
00:55:31,640 --> 00:55:33,640
Speaker 2: just been fortunate and lucky enough to do it and

1209
00:55:33,680 --> 00:55:36,120
Speaker 2: blessed enough to do it with someone who I feel

1210
00:55:36,120 --> 00:55:37,000
Speaker 2: like is equally ooked.

1211
00:55:37,160 --> 00:55:38,520
Speaker 3: And the reason why I ask you because I know

1212
00:55:38,719 --> 00:55:42,360
Speaker 3: oftentimes women say they feel like they have to transform

1213
00:55:42,440 --> 00:55:44,240
Speaker 3: into what their husbands want.

1214
00:55:44,120 --> 00:55:47,560
Speaker 2: Yes, and the settle into a particular lifestyle, And I mean,

1215
00:55:47,560 --> 00:55:49,200
Speaker 2: I feel that there's moments where I feel like I've lost

1216
00:55:49,200 --> 00:55:51,399
Speaker 2: a bit of kdeen, but not to anyone's fault. It's

1217
00:55:51,480 --> 00:55:54,080
Speaker 2: just the transitions of life, right, going from being a

1218
00:55:54,080 --> 00:55:55,840
Speaker 2: single woman to the now a dating women to the

1219
00:55:55,960 --> 00:55:58,360
Speaker 2: now a person in the committed relationship, then to a

1220
00:55:58,360 --> 00:56:00,839
Speaker 2: wife and then to a mom. There's gonna be ebbs

1221
00:56:00,880 --> 00:56:02,600
Speaker 2: and flows in life that you have to adjust. But

1222
00:56:02,640 --> 00:56:06,320
Speaker 2: I don't feel like I've, you know, had to succumb

1223
00:56:06,360 --> 00:56:08,759
Speaker 2: to whatever life it is that you helped you had

1224
00:56:08,760 --> 00:56:10,320
Speaker 2: for us as the leader of the family. Because she

1225
00:56:10,360 --> 00:56:14,040
Speaker 2: also mentioned like she's okay with trusting his leadership, which

1226
00:56:14,080 --> 00:56:15,640
Speaker 2: I think I do with you as well too. But

1227
00:56:15,680 --> 00:56:18,960
Speaker 2: then also, I'm never stifled in this relationship by you

1228
00:56:19,040 --> 00:56:22,560
Speaker 2: either or I've never led to be felt or led

1229
00:56:22,600 --> 00:56:25,080
Speaker 2: to believe that I don't matter or my opinion doesn't matter.

1230
00:56:25,080 --> 00:56:28,560
Speaker 2: It's very much a teammate situation here. So yeah, to

1231
00:56:28,600 --> 00:56:30,759
Speaker 2: answer your question, I don't feel like that. I feel

1232
00:56:30,800 --> 00:56:34,640
Speaker 2: like I'm living truthfully in real time, in real life

1233
00:56:34,680 --> 00:56:35,880
Speaker 2: with where I'm supposed to be.

1234
00:56:36,120 --> 00:56:39,400
Speaker 3: And I'm glad you brought that up, because even she

1235
00:56:39,560 --> 00:56:42,000
Speaker 3: says like he doesn't like me to do this, He

1236
00:56:42,040 --> 00:56:42,759
Speaker 3: doesn't like me to do that.

1237
00:56:42,800 --> 00:56:44,560
Speaker 1: He doesn't does he even.

1238
00:56:44,480 --> 00:56:44,920
Speaker 3: Like you.

1239
00:56:46,320 --> 00:56:48,040
Speaker 2: Like about each other?

1240
00:56:48,320 --> 00:56:51,800
Speaker 1: Like like I couldn't. I couldn't imagine being.

1241
00:56:51,760 --> 00:56:53,960
Speaker 2: It's only five months in two girls. It's giving that

1242
00:56:54,040 --> 00:56:56,719
Speaker 2: you don't know a lot about what's about to unfold here.

1243
00:56:56,719 --> 00:56:56,919
Speaker 1: Either.

1244
00:56:56,960 --> 00:56:58,440
Speaker 3: I wonder I wonder how old they are because she

1245
00:56:58,440 --> 00:57:01,520
Speaker 3: sounds young, he sounds very or young. But I can't

1246
00:57:01,560 --> 00:57:03,840
Speaker 3: imagine like being with a girl, and it's being like, well,

1247
00:57:03,840 --> 00:57:04,560
Speaker 3: I don't like did you do this?

1248
00:57:04,640 --> 00:57:05,680
Speaker 1: Change this? I don't like to do that.

1249
00:57:05,719 --> 00:57:07,279
Speaker 3: You know what if I got to keep telling you

1250
00:57:07,360 --> 00:57:09,439
Speaker 3: to change stuff, or then I actually get a new girl.

1251
00:57:09,880 --> 00:57:12,960
Speaker 3: I should find a girl that is in alignment with

1252
00:57:13,200 --> 00:57:16,320
Speaker 3: the same things that I'm My mindsetting is alignment with you.

1253
00:57:16,360 --> 00:57:18,400
Speaker 3: Understand what I'm saying as opposed to saying, well, you

1254
00:57:18,440 --> 00:57:19,920
Speaker 3: need to change in order to be with me, And

1255
00:57:19,960 --> 00:57:22,560
Speaker 3: not that he's saying that, but if she's feeling.

1256
00:57:22,360 --> 00:57:25,560
Speaker 2: That feeling that she said before meeting him, I think

1257
00:57:25,560 --> 00:57:27,680
Speaker 2: he had this picture of the kind of woman he

1258
00:57:27,760 --> 00:57:30,080
Speaker 2: wanted to be with. Baby. If you ain't in the picture,

1259
00:57:31,240 --> 00:57:34,160
Speaker 2: if you're not in the art gallery at all, in

1260
00:57:34,200 --> 00:57:35,240
Speaker 2: the wrong place, you know.

1261
00:57:35,240 --> 00:57:36,000
Speaker 1: What I feel you.

1262
00:57:36,040 --> 00:57:38,200
Speaker 2: I feel you you in the wrong places. So I

1263
00:57:38,200 --> 00:57:40,040
Speaker 2: would hate for you to settle. I don't think anybody

1264
00:57:40,080 --> 00:57:43,960
Speaker 2: should ever settle into anything, whether it's love, relationship, career,

1265
00:57:44,280 --> 00:57:47,400
Speaker 2: none of that. So hopefully that's helpful to you. Good

1266
00:57:47,480 --> 00:57:51,200
Speaker 2: luck to you on your road to love. All right, y'all,

1267
00:57:51,200 --> 00:57:52,720
Speaker 2: If y'all want to be featured as a listener letter,

1268
00:57:52,760 --> 00:57:55,480
Speaker 2: keep writing into us. Email us at dead ass Advice

1269
00:57:55,520 --> 00:57:57,960
Speaker 2: at gmail dot com. We'd love to hear from you.

1270
00:57:58,400 --> 00:58:00,640
Speaker 3: That's D E A. D A S as A D

1271
00:58:00,840 --> 00:58:03,640
Speaker 3: V I C at gmail dot com.

1272
00:58:03,920 --> 00:58:06,520
Speaker 2: I'm still so cozy here, guys. You know, if you're

1273
00:58:06,520 --> 00:58:09,200
Speaker 2: watching on Patreon, you can see that I am very

1274
00:58:09,320 --> 00:58:12,600
Speaker 2: much at home. You know, still got the stale weaving

1275
00:58:12,640 --> 00:58:14,640
Speaker 2: that y'all saw me in last time. It's okay, no,

1276
00:58:15,600 --> 00:58:20,160
Speaker 2: just kidding, we watched her. But yeah, baby, let's get

1277
00:58:20,200 --> 00:58:23,800
Speaker 2: a moment of truth for you. We're talking today, maturity,

1278
00:58:23,880 --> 00:58:28,160
Speaker 2: we're talking money, we're talking man, the athlete, the person.

1279
00:58:28,360 --> 00:58:31,560
Speaker 2: But furthermore, just what we can do as a society

1280
00:58:31,640 --> 00:58:38,080
Speaker 2: to I guess, help these people, these men, these women,

1281
00:58:38,280 --> 00:58:43,240
Speaker 2: these people in a certain particular status. It's particular influence

1282
00:58:43,840 --> 00:58:46,840
Speaker 2: through you know, rough times.

1283
00:58:47,120 --> 00:58:49,720
Speaker 3: It's not just a certain particular person, it's everybody. This

1284
00:58:49,800 --> 00:58:52,320
Speaker 3: is my moment of truth. Just because you watch a

1285
00:58:52,400 --> 00:58:58,360
Speaker 3: person reach a certain economic status, don't expect them to

1286
00:58:58,480 --> 00:59:01,560
Speaker 3: be mature, especially if they're still young.

1287
00:59:02,000 --> 00:59:02,680
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.

1288
00:59:02,800 --> 00:59:05,760
Speaker 3: Someone can be gifted enough to earn income, well, but

1289
00:59:05,760 --> 00:59:08,360
Speaker 3: that doesn't mean that they're mature enough to understand society.

1290
00:59:09,000 --> 00:59:12,440
Speaker 3: And I think that this happens with professional athletes and

1291
00:59:12,560 --> 00:59:15,600
Speaker 3: entertainers because they become idols quote unquote two people, which

1292
00:59:15,600 --> 00:59:16,680
Speaker 3: I think is also a bad thing.

1293
00:59:16,680 --> 00:59:18,280
Speaker 1: You should never idolize.

1294
00:59:17,760 --> 00:59:21,320
Speaker 3: Anyone, Yes, but since when you make someone an idol

1295
00:59:21,360 --> 00:59:24,080
Speaker 3: and they fall short of what you idolize.

1296
00:59:23,480 --> 00:59:24,920
Speaker 1: You can't blame them.

1297
00:59:25,200 --> 00:59:27,600
Speaker 3: Allow these young men and young women, especially between the

1298
00:59:27,640 --> 00:59:31,120
Speaker 3: ages of nineteen to twenty five. A lot of these

1299
00:59:31,240 --> 00:59:34,960
Speaker 3: entertainers and athletes become famous and rich very young. Allow

1300
00:59:35,080 --> 00:59:37,200
Speaker 3: them to go through the process of becoming an adult

1301
00:59:37,280 --> 00:59:40,240
Speaker 3: and make mistakes, you know, don't let's not condemn them

1302
00:59:40,280 --> 00:59:42,520
Speaker 3: and hold them to that one or two experience for

1303
00:59:42,560 --> 00:59:44,960
Speaker 3: the rest of their life. We see that all the

1304
00:59:45,080 --> 00:59:48,920
Speaker 3: time in the world. Someone that you idolize make a mistake,

1305
00:59:49,000 --> 00:59:50,959
Speaker 3: and now they're forty years old and you're still holding

1306
00:59:50,960 --> 00:59:52,960
Speaker 3: them to the mistake they made it twenty three, We

1307
00:59:53,000 --> 00:59:54,120
Speaker 3: got to learn how to let that go.

1308
00:59:54,320 --> 00:59:56,680
Speaker 2: That was like literally to be most Yeah, it was

1309
00:59:56,720 --> 01:00:01,040
Speaker 2: like allow people in general, a particular people who are

1310
01:00:01,080 --> 01:00:03,560
Speaker 2: of some sort of influence or some sort of fame,

1311
01:00:04,080 --> 01:00:07,479
Speaker 2: allow them to make mistakes and to grow from them.

1312
01:00:07,560 --> 01:00:11,120
Speaker 2: We would hope that nobody, that anybody stays the same

1313
01:00:11,200 --> 01:00:13,920
Speaker 2: whether they're twenty then they go to twenty five to

1314
01:00:14,040 --> 01:00:16,440
Speaker 2: thirty to thirty five. We would hope that people are

1315
01:00:16,440 --> 01:00:18,959
Speaker 2: able to learn from their mistakes, be able to grow

1316
01:00:19,000 --> 01:00:20,960
Speaker 2: from that, and just have a little bit of empathy

1317
01:00:21,000 --> 01:00:23,760
Speaker 2: because realize too, you're also making mistakes as well, and

1318
01:00:23,800 --> 01:00:25,520
Speaker 2: you just don't have the spotlight on you. So it's

1319
01:00:25,560 --> 01:00:28,000
Speaker 2: easy for you to duck off into the you know,

1320
01:00:28,240 --> 01:00:30,800
Speaker 2: the corner, yeah, because you don't have a spotlight on you.

1321
01:00:30,840 --> 01:00:33,160
Speaker 2: But it's that much harder, particularly for our young men

1322
01:00:33,200 --> 01:00:36,960
Speaker 2: and women who are given these large sums of money

1323
01:00:37,040 --> 01:00:39,840
Speaker 2: or given this spotlight and don't really necessarily know how

1324
01:00:39,880 --> 01:00:41,640
Speaker 2: to navigate it. So let's just try to be a

1325
01:00:41,640 --> 01:00:44,200
Speaker 2: little bit kinder to people in general. I know we

1326
01:00:44,240 --> 01:00:45,840
Speaker 2: say that a lot when it comes to just social

1327
01:00:45,880 --> 01:00:47,840
Speaker 2: media and a lot of the topics that we've discussed.

1328
01:00:48,320 --> 01:00:52,440
Speaker 2: But piling on to a situation that's already facts, you know,

1329
01:00:52,800 --> 01:00:56,680
Speaker 2: fact negative or not you know, viewed in high regard,

1330
01:00:56,920 --> 01:01:00,840
Speaker 2: is not doing anything good and then find lessons that

1331
01:01:00,880 --> 01:01:03,040
Speaker 2: you can also as a parent teach your children from

1332
01:01:03,160 --> 01:01:06,520
Speaker 2: things like this. So hopefully this episode was helpful to

1333
01:01:06,600 --> 01:01:08,520
Speaker 2: y'all for that reason with a lesson.

1334
01:01:08,520 --> 01:01:13,960
Speaker 3: Oh one more thing too, can we stop equating blackness

1335
01:01:14,840 --> 01:01:19,520
Speaker 3: with struggle, poverty, and violence? Like I think that we

1336
01:01:19,640 --> 01:01:24,520
Speaker 3: have to stop saying that once someone behaves in a

1337
01:01:24,560 --> 01:01:30,640
Speaker 3: certain way that shows violence or poverty or some sort

1338
01:01:30,680 --> 01:01:31,919
Speaker 3: of undisciplined thing, is.

1339
01:01:32,080 --> 01:01:35,400
Speaker 1: Oh, they're trying to be too black. Blackness is not

1340
01:01:36,360 --> 01:01:37,880
Speaker 1: one thing. Right.

1341
01:01:38,480 --> 01:01:40,680
Speaker 3: You can be excellent and be black, you know what

1342
01:01:40,720 --> 01:01:42,200
Speaker 3: I'm saying. You can be smart and be black. You

1343
01:01:42,240 --> 01:01:44,320
Speaker 3: can be articulate and be black. You can be wealthy

1344
01:01:44,360 --> 01:01:47,560
Speaker 3: and be black. Blackness is just not one thing. And

1345
01:01:47,600 --> 01:01:49,080
Speaker 3: the reason why that bothered me and I wanted to

1346
01:01:49,080 --> 01:01:52,840
Speaker 3: say this is because Jahn Morant is acting. He's a

1347
01:01:52,880 --> 01:01:56,360
Speaker 3: young man who's acting like what so many other people

1348
01:01:56,440 --> 01:01:58,760
Speaker 3: act like the rappers, you know what I'm saying, Especially

1349
01:01:58,800 --> 01:02:03,080
Speaker 3: drill rap is huge right now, right, but white people

1350
01:02:03,120 --> 01:02:06,360
Speaker 3: do the same thing, Asian people do the same thing India.

1351
01:02:06,400 --> 01:02:11,920
Speaker 3: People Hip hop is a global phenomenon now. So when

1352
01:02:11,920 --> 01:02:14,480
Speaker 3: you see people acting in a certain way, don't just say, oh,

1353
01:02:14,520 --> 01:02:17,680
Speaker 3: they're trying to act or be black, right, because that's

1354
01:02:17,760 --> 01:02:19,919
Speaker 3: not the only way to be black. And I want

1355
01:02:19,920 --> 01:02:22,240
Speaker 3: to make sure that we're clear on that. And then

1356
01:02:22,240 --> 01:02:24,040
Speaker 3: also that Jah Moran is not going to be the

1357
01:02:24,040 --> 01:02:28,800
Speaker 3: only wealthy young man to make mistakes that part, you know,

1358
01:02:28,920 --> 01:02:32,640
Speaker 3: So prayers and positive healing energy goes out to him

1359
01:02:32,680 --> 01:02:36,520
Speaker 3: and his family. I can guarantee you he going to

1360
01:02:36,600 --> 01:02:38,640
Speaker 3: thrive through this and be better. This is not the

1361
01:02:38,680 --> 01:02:40,720
Speaker 3: first athlete to go through stuff. I remember when Alan

1362
01:02:40,800 --> 01:02:43,360
Speaker 3: Ivers was going through all of this. I remember when

1363
01:02:44,120 --> 01:02:46,200
Speaker 3: Chris Carter was going through all this, and that was

1364
01:02:46,240 --> 01:02:48,720
Speaker 3: in the eighties. Chris Carter was going through all of

1365
01:02:48,760 --> 01:02:50,920
Speaker 3: this stuff with the drugs and the fights, and he

1366
01:02:50,960 --> 01:02:52,920
Speaker 3: got kicked off the Eagles, and that was the best thing.

1367
01:02:52,960 --> 01:02:54,840
Speaker 3: When he got cut by the Eagles and went to

1368
01:02:54,880 --> 01:02:57,200
Speaker 3: the Vikings. That's when he became a Hall of Famer

1369
01:02:57,240 --> 01:03:00,000
Speaker 3: because the consequences showed him that he had to change

1370
01:03:00,160 --> 01:03:00,680
Speaker 3: just behavior.

1371
01:03:00,960 --> 01:03:03,680
Speaker 2: That's what even think about the kids that the kids

1372
01:03:03,680 --> 01:03:05,840
Speaker 2: just now in the University of Georgia after they won

1373
01:03:05,880 --> 01:03:07,640
Speaker 2: the championship.

1374
01:03:07,120 --> 01:03:09,200
Speaker 1: Championship, that's college level. You know what I'm.

1375
01:03:09,040 --> 01:03:12,040
Speaker 2: Saying, that those actions may impede them from making it

1376
01:03:12,480 --> 01:03:14,200
Speaker 2: to the big leagues. And it's just like, you know,

1377
01:03:14,360 --> 01:03:17,520
Speaker 2: let's just try to rally around these kids, yes, and

1378
01:03:17,600 --> 01:03:21,760
Speaker 2: teach these lessons before it's too late. Yeah, all right, y'all.

1379
01:03:21,920 --> 01:03:25,120
Speaker 2: As usual, you can find us on Patreon. Shout out

1380
01:03:25,160 --> 01:03:27,640
Speaker 2: to everyone who is signed up to see exclusive dead

1381
01:03:27,640 --> 01:03:31,560
Speaker 2: Ass podcast video content. Also some exclusive from de Vo's

1382
01:03:31,560 --> 01:03:33,840
Speaker 2: man Cave and some family content as well too.

1383
01:03:34,240 --> 01:03:34,360
Speaker 1: Yo.

1384
01:03:34,560 --> 01:03:39,439
Speaker 2: The Patreon Patreon circuits popping off pat re.

1385
01:03:39,320 --> 01:03:44,840
Speaker 1: Read the comments we got work. Be patient. I'm gonna

1386
01:03:44,840 --> 01:03:45,760
Speaker 1: be honest to y'all.

1387
01:03:45,760 --> 01:03:49,200
Speaker 3: Are so used to getting stuff quickly on because of

1388
01:03:49,200 --> 01:03:51,600
Speaker 3: the podcast, But Patreon is different. The videos have to

1389
01:03:51,600 --> 01:03:54,800
Speaker 3: be edited, sound has to be corrected, color has to

1390
01:03:54,800 --> 01:03:56,760
Speaker 3: be corrected. Yeah, we want it to be perfect, so

1391
01:03:57,080 --> 01:03:58,320
Speaker 3: it comes out a little bit slower.

1392
01:03:58,320 --> 01:04:00,000
Speaker 1: But rock with us. We got it coming for sure

1393
01:04:00,040 --> 01:04:01,440
Speaker 1: or for sure out to Josh.

1394
01:04:01,720 --> 01:04:05,360
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yes, ganggang, they got us holding us down.

1395
01:04:05,400 --> 01:04:05,919
Speaker 1: Okay, yes.

1396
01:04:06,600 --> 01:04:08,800
Speaker 2: Find us on social media, y'all. In the meantime you'll

1397
01:04:08,840 --> 01:04:12,360
Speaker 2: get some more content there. Instagram, dead Ass the Podcast

1398
01:04:12,440 --> 01:04:14,200
Speaker 2: is our page. You can find me at Kadena. I

1399
01:04:14,240 --> 01:04:15,440
Speaker 2: am on Instagram and TikTok.

1400
01:04:15,480 --> 01:04:16,520
Speaker 1: That's right, and I am devouring.

1401
01:04:16,560 --> 01:04:18,880
Speaker 3: If you're listening on Apple podcasts, be sure to rate,

1402
01:04:19,240 --> 01:04:20,960
Speaker 3: review and subscribe.

1403
01:04:21,520 --> 01:04:22,320
Speaker 2: All right, y'all.

1404
01:04:22,400 --> 01:04:26,920
Speaker 3: Dead Ass dead Ass is a production of iHeartMedia podcast Network,

1405
01:04:26,920 --> 01:04:30,120
Speaker 3: and it's produced by Donor Pinya and Triple. Follow the

1406
01:04:30,160 --> 01:04:32,960
Speaker 3: podcast on social media at dead Ass the Podcast and

1407
01:04:33,080 --> 01:04:33,960
Speaker 3: never miss a Thing