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Speaker 1: Buckle up, hold on tight. We got it for you here.

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Speaker 1: It is the straw. Very little subject. I can't get

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Speaker 1: back in bed with him. Subject. I can't get back

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Speaker 1: in bed with him. Dear Stephen Shirley. I am dating

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Speaker 1: a man that I considered to be my soul mate.

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Speaker 1: We have a long distance relationship, but we see each

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Speaker 1: other often. He always comes to visit me, and I

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Speaker 1: would always make sure that my house was clean. I

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Speaker 1: would go out of my way to impress him. This

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Speaker 1: past weekend, I went to visit him for the first time.

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Speaker 1: After driving for four hours, I got to his house

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Speaker 1: and I was immediately shocked and disappointed by what I saw.

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Speaker 1: His house was absolutely filthy. Before I could even hug him,

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Speaker 1: I couldn't help but blurt out, I thought, you're cleaned up.

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Speaker 1: We went back and forth on what he thought was

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Speaker 1: clean and what my interpretation of clean was. I decided

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Speaker 1: to do the cleaning myself, and he agreed to help me.

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Speaker 1: My first priority was to clean the bedroom where I'd

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Speaker 1: be sleeping. I started with the bed to put clean

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Speaker 1: sheets on it. As I pulled back the covers, I

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Speaker 1: discovered a huge piece stain on his mattress. I almost

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Speaker 1: got sick from the sight and smell of it. I

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Speaker 1: called him into the bedroom and he got defensive and

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Speaker 1: has a nerve to say I was doing too much.

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Speaker 1: He said that his sheets were already clean and it

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Speaker 1: was an old stain on the mattress. I could not

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Speaker 1: believe that this fine, handsome, well spoken man wet his bed.

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Speaker 1: I was devastated and turned off. As tired as I was,

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Speaker 1: I got back in my car. All right, listen, guys.

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Speaker 1: As tired as I was, I got back in my

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Speaker 1: car and drove for another four hours back to my

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Speaker 1: own house. We talked on the phone, but I can

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Speaker 1: tell he's still embarrassed. I don't think we can get

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Speaker 1: ask this. If it's a medical issue, then I can

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Speaker 1: be supportive and help him through it, but he will

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Speaker 1: not talk about it with me. He's really the best

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Speaker 1: man I've met in years. Please help me. What should

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Speaker 1: I do? Well? How nice of you to drive all

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Speaker 1: that way and just, you know, get right and dive

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Speaker 1: right in into cleaning and everything. Um, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: this would really be a deal breaker for me. Um,

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Speaker 1: I don't think this guy is your soul mate. UM,

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Speaker 1: I think you have to have more in common and

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Speaker 1: let's just start with the basics here. Um, you know

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Speaker 1: you gotta be clean, you gotta have some good hygiene.

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Speaker 1: That is just the basic requirement in a relationship. I

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Speaker 1: mean the question to me though, is this urination situation? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: What's going on here? I mean is this a medical

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Speaker 1: like incontinent problem or is he just lazy and just

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Speaker 1: doesn't get up to go? You didn't make that clear

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Speaker 1: in the letter. Um, he didn't seem to be bothered

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Speaker 1: by it though when you pointed it out. If it

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Speaker 1: is medical, he needs to see a doctor immediately. This

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Speaker 1: can't go on in a grown man wetting the bed.

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Speaker 1: You gotta go see a doctor and get this situation

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Speaker 1: taken care of. I say, try and talk to him

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Speaker 1: again about it, you know, not in a nagging kind

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Speaker 1: of way or anything, but in an adult, loving, caring

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Speaker 1: and concerned way. If he still doesn't want to talk

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Speaker 1: to you about it, you might have to walk and

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Speaker 1: leave him alone. And it's unfortunate because you think this

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Speaker 1: guy's your soul mate and you really like this guy, Steve,

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Speaker 1: I must jump right on this letter. I disagree, Shirley.

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Speaker 1: This could be her sale sold me. You're soul making

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Speaker 1: have problems and issues. People complete each other. Now this

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Speaker 1: woman had been dating his man. He's absolutely wonderful. Everything's

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Speaker 1: going perfect. He's always comes to a house. Her house

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Speaker 1: is spotless. She goes to his house, his house trifling.

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Speaker 1: I know that's surprised. I'm filthy, you know, filthy. You

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Speaker 1: know he don't clean, you don't clean up. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Not every man I know is a germophobic, like you

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Speaker 1: know who. A lot of men are not that neat.

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Speaker 1: You know. I like having a neat clean house. But

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Speaker 1: I have a tendency to throw some stuff down, and

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Speaker 1: I lest some dishes stack up. It don't bother me,

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Speaker 1: It bothers my wife that dishes and stacked up. It

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Speaker 1: bothered my wife that out and threw something in the flow.

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Speaker 1: Now we don't we we're not. We haven't got to

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Speaker 1: that yet. As your style of comedy is a little

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Speaker 1: bit more aggressive and forward, just a looted to it. Now.

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Speaker 1: I just want him to allow me to get to it,

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Speaker 1: as I don't. I don't be in his punk ass pranks.

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Speaker 1: They punk ass, yeah they is Now back to the letter. Well,

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Speaker 1: you know, you get his ass out of it. Show. Okay,

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Speaker 1: talk to him. I don't say nothing doing them. Pray,

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Speaker 1: ain't ever interrupted one, ain't never jumped on the phone.

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Speaker 1: Hey me too, say something about me too when you

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Speaker 1: come on. Now, was he don't clean? That's not big

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Speaker 1: of a deal. You can help him clean. You did

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Speaker 1: it yourself. Here the problem. You pulled back the covers

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Speaker 1: and it was some pa in the bed. Now here

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Speaker 1: was wrong when you pulled back you didn't say how

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Speaker 1: old he was. But listen to me, I Pete is

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Speaker 1: different from baby Pete. This p is strong, pemmonia needed.

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Speaker 1: It's got things in it. It's got part lookal in it,

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Speaker 1: penicilla college, green juice. Hear us all listens in there. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: instantly he could be died better instantly. It's all listens

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Speaker 1: in that urine. Now, if it's been under that quilt

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Speaker 1: and you open it up, it's gonna be shocking. And

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Speaker 1: you can't have a soul mate with a week bladder. Sorry, now,

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Speaker 1: yere's the problem. You got back in your car and

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Speaker 1: you drove back to four hours. You was disgusted and

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Speaker 1: hurt that he didn't think enough about you to clean

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Speaker 1: up before you came. He thought he cleaned up, but

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Speaker 1: he didn't. Forgot see, he'd been messy and junkie so

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Speaker 1: long he forgot. He forgot all about the piece that

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Speaker 1: he thought it was gonna dry, what he thought it'd

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Speaker 1: be dry by. Now I'm just telling you what he

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Speaker 1: thought he figured about time y'all getting the better to

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Speaker 1: be there. And now you ain't gonna notice that he

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Speaker 1: don't know he that he dating a bloodhound. Oh God,

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Speaker 1: that you're gonna smell it? What is that? So now

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Speaker 1: you got you got a lot backed up on him.

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Speaker 1: This relationship is salvageable. And I will tell you when

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Speaker 1: we come back how you can go about the business

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Speaker 1: of salvaging this relationship, because I don't know that you

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Speaker 1: should throw a good man away, because he has possibly

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Speaker 1: a medical condition that requires the right help. And we

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Speaker 1: can get somebody clean down house. Right. She said that

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Speaker 1: she can be supportive and help him through it. All right,

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Speaker 1: I can't get back in bed with him. And the

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Speaker 1: reason she can't get back in bed with because she

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Speaker 1: didn't went to this man's house. He'd been coming over

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Speaker 1: there all the time. She drove for out. The man

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Speaker 1: house filthy, it is trifling. She helped him clean up,

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Speaker 1: and then she go in the bedroom and pulled back

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Speaker 1: the sheets. She trying to clean the sheep, but it

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Speaker 1: got a big peace stain on him, and it was

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Speaker 1: strong now, she said, the man pee in the bed now,

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Speaker 1: seats was already clean. He said, and that's an old stain,

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Speaker 1: that stain I had peed on that last week. That's

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Speaker 1: not fresh to tripping fall. She couldn't believe this was fine, handsome,

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Speaker 1: well spoken man wits the bed. I devastated. As tired

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Speaker 1: as I was, I got back in my drove back

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Speaker 1: another four hours back to my own house. Then we

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Speaker 1: talked on the phone, but I can tell he's still embarrassed.

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Speaker 1: I don't think we can get past this. If it's

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Speaker 1: a medical issue, then I can be supportive and help

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Speaker 1: him get through it, but he will not talk to

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Speaker 1: me about it. With me, he's really the best man

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Speaker 1: I've met in years. Please help me. What should I do?

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Speaker 1: You gotta get through to him. You gotta get him

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Speaker 1: comfortable talking about what's wrong. Look, I love you, I

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Speaker 1: think we have something and I'm willing to help you

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Speaker 1: and share share your life. But I need you to

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Speaker 1: be open and honest with me. Tell me what's going

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Speaker 1: on so I can help you with it. Because if

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Speaker 1: you pee on me, See, this is the real problem.

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Speaker 1: What she's scared to be laying up there? And then

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Speaker 1: if you pe on hull that app tell you right now,

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Speaker 1: that's gonna cause a break up. They don't like that though.

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Speaker 1: They don't like that. Now, if you got to be

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Speaker 1: in the bed with it depend on, that's gonna cut

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Speaker 1: down on the sex of its be coming down. You're

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Speaker 1: all snuggle all of them. You got the damned the

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Speaker 1: applehole because you're black. Ain't wanting for damn. It's just

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Speaker 1: over here with a whole lit it. You're just peeing

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Speaker 1: on people. You just in here, we're just talking. All

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Speaker 1: of a sudden, all of a sudden, the bed get warm.

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Speaker 1: We just can't be doing it. We up just watching TV.

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Speaker 1: We got the we're sitting up on the headboard. We're

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Speaker 1: watching TV in the bed. We got the bowl of

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Speaker 1: popcorn tween our legs. Now, all of a sudden, you're hot,

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Speaker 1: real popcorn, extra butter. The hell is going on? Hill?

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Speaker 1: Why is your popcorn hot and soggy? And why didn't

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Speaker 1: you tell me you were sitting over that peel? He

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Speaker 1: didn't want to talk about it. I could have got

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Speaker 1: up and got out your way. He doesn't want to

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Speaker 1: talk about it. Sit your ass up in here and

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Speaker 1: just peeing in this bed. The bathroom is right there,

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Speaker 1: she said. She let me get him county twelve steps

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Speaker 1: and you in the bathroom to sexually. He's an ass

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Speaker 1: up here and pete again. But you gotta find a

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Speaker 1: way to help him. Now, it's a couple of solutions.

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Speaker 1: I don't know how old is. I don't know if

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Speaker 1: they're eighty or they're forty. And interruptors and that. I

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Speaker 1: don't know if you're eighty, we're gonna have to get

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Speaker 1: a calf or something on this board so he can

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Speaker 1: just pee onto the pail that's on the floor. I

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Speaker 1: don't know what it is. I don't know how old

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Speaker 1: they are. But she drove four hours, so she ain't eighty.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. No eighty old person can drive for

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Speaker 1: a while without nod. I'm gonna stay for I think

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Speaker 1: you have something there when you say forties, yeah, she's

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Speaker 1: gonna Well, she got her own house and he got

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Speaker 1: his own house, so they both accomplished something. She took

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Speaker 1: that long drift. Now we've had a story similar to this,

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Speaker 1: that lady that was going that astronaut lady that put

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Speaker 1: that astronaut suit on and drove nine hundred miles stop

190
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Speaker 1: and just pet on herself in an astronaut suit. Got

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Speaker 1: our head on everything but the helmet on, just driving,

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Speaker 1: driving in per stopping, getting gas and peeing. Didn't even

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Speaker 1: get out. Give me eight dollars, I can make it. Well,

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Speaker 1: we I think you should say. Look, I love you,

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Speaker 1: I want to stay with you, but if you don't

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Speaker 1: share with me what's going on, I can't help you.

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Speaker 1: And if you won't allow me to help you, that's

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Speaker 1: gonna cancel our relationship. You're the best man I've met

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Speaker 1: in a long time, and I believe I'm the best

200
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Speaker 1: woman you've met in a long time. As a matter

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Speaker 1: of fact, I don't think there's another woman living that's

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Speaker 1: gonna crawl up in that field as big, not if

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Speaker 1: you're gonna be in that peing on you. That's what

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Speaker 1: I said. They aren't saying. Let me ask you something.

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Speaker 1: This is some kids somewhere that I don't know nothing about.

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Speaker 1: She didn't mention kids. Well, I'm just asking because maybe

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Speaker 1: the baby pete in the bed. But I can tell

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Speaker 1: you right now that ain't baby. Years now that grown

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Speaker 1: man as you when you peeled back, you smell homeless. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: she said she almost got sick from the sight and

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Speaker 1: smell of it. Steve, that's a strong yellow man. When

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Speaker 1: she called him to the bedroom, he got defensive. It

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Speaker 1: was his. Yeah. I was down at Venice Beach one

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Speaker 1: time years ago and I was trying to help this

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Speaker 1: homes dude out. I saw him well be rummaging through

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Speaker 1: the WAISTCND. So I bought him two sandwiches and gave

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Speaker 1: him to me. But when he came over to get

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Speaker 1: him from me, that boy was so strong. Good lord,

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Speaker 1: good lord. I gave him two hundred dollars and this

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Speaker 1: to him. If you could back up now, man, it's

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Speaker 1: on you. And then when was coming off the ocean,

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Speaker 1: because we were down at Venice Beach, nothing yes, the

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Speaker 1: smell of cotton candor. Nothing was high in this hill. Okay,

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Speaker 1: we get it. I'm talking about gifted. We really understand

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Speaker 1: you standing. They had the duct tape shoes on two

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Speaker 1: and they had got hot on that ashphall, please what

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Speaker 1: he had in that grocery car. But it was thinking too.

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Speaker 1: He had the air condition and that wrapped up in

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Speaker 1: the top. I was trying to figure out where he

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Speaker 1: was gonna plug his alpat. But lord, no, you can't

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Speaker 1: be standing in front of this as when you cut

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Speaker 1: it on that much. I do know. What you cannot

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Speaker 1: do is blow. You can't plug that air condition up

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Speaker 1: that's in that grocery car and stand in front of

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Speaker 1: it and shift that win towards people. We gotta go

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Speaker 1: when you go ahead and go. But I'm just telling you,

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Speaker 1: that's how I smelled that before, and that's how I

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Speaker 1: noticed it ain't no baby peep. All right, Listen, you

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Speaker 1: can email us or instagram us your thoughts on today's

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Speaker 1: Strawberry letters and email us or whatever, but washed first,

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Speaker 1: email us and Steve Harvey FM um. You're listening to

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Speaker 1: show