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Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to this episode. To keep it Pazza

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Speaker 1: is sweetie. I'm Christahine Hazlet, and today I have with

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Speaker 1: me guys. I'm so excited about this one. I have

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Speaker 1: the Sarah Jakes.

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Speaker 2: Roberts, Hi, thank you so much for recco. I'm so excited.

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Speaker 1: No, I'm so excited when you're on your book too.

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Speaker 1: Right now.

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Speaker 2: We got you to stop by when you DM me

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Speaker 2: and ask me to be a part of the tour,

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Speaker 2: I literally was like, is this a spam message? This

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Speaker 2: really her? So I had to go to the panily like, wait,

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Speaker 2: this is really her.

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Speaker 3: Of course, you're making such an incredible impact. I know

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Speaker 3: that you're gonna add so much value.

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Speaker 2: Thank you so much. I'm so excited. I'm so excited.

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Speaker 2: I hope to see you guys there tonight. I can't wait.

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Speaker 1: Well, by the time this airs, it would already happen,

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Speaker 1: but I hope to see you guys there. I like

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Speaker 1: to start off each episode with either a quote or

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Speaker 1: a song, and today I thought it would be only

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Speaker 1: fitting to do a quote from your new book.

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Speaker 2: Okay, power Mood. Make sure you guys get it. It

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Speaker 2: is so good and it's so powerful.

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Speaker 1: The quote says the only thing worse than being powerless

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Speaker 1: is falling for the illusion that power can be a

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Speaker 1: mass by what you have instead of who you are

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Speaker 1: willing to become. When I read that, I was like,

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Speaker 1: that's so powerful, because a lot of times we look

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Speaker 1: around like, well, I don't have this, I don't have that,

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Speaker 1: have that, but not thinking, hey, it's really what I

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Speaker 1: need to be to get where I'm trying to go,

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Speaker 1: for sure. So I wanted to open up with that

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Speaker 1: because I know a lot of times people get caught

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Speaker 1: up in the now and looking to where they want

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Speaker 1: to go and feel stuck, you know.

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Speaker 2: So that really spoke to me.

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Speaker 3: Thank you, or people who have a lot realized that

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Speaker 3: I still feel empty on the inside.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, Street No, for sure, I feel like.

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Speaker 1: My mom used to always tell me, it's never enough,

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Speaker 1: like you're never satisfied, and I feel like it. And

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Speaker 1: Tyler always says, once you hit the top of one level,

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Speaker 1: it's like starting all.

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Speaker 2: Ower grade in one. And I feel like that's where

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Speaker 2: in my life.

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Speaker 1: Right now, Like I've reached another level and I'm like, oh gosh,

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Speaker 1: I'm having to learn everything all over again.

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Speaker 2: For this level.

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Speaker 1: It's like trying to find new codes and how to

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Speaker 1: like a video game, like how do I get past

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Speaker 1: this level?

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Speaker 2: And I'm in that space right now. But that's so true.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that makes me What are you learning about this season?

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Speaker 1: You know? What I am learning is that this is

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Speaker 1: what I prayed for. A lot of times, I feel

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Speaker 1: myself getting really stressed out. I'm like, oh, Lord, okay,

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Speaker 1: I asked you to enlarge my territory, but I didn't

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Speaker 1: know this is what came with the enlarging of the territory.

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Speaker 2: So for me, I'm learning to just pause. Even yesterday

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Speaker 2: I had a situation with my stylists. Not to call

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Speaker 2: you out, but I'm calling you out.

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Speaker 1: She was supposed to send something for tonight yesterday and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, hey, where's the clothes? And she's like, oh

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Speaker 1: my gosh, I've been so swamped.

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Speaker 2: I didn't get it.

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Speaker 1: And I'm like in the middle of studying the film

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Speaker 1: next week, and I normally I would have had a

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Speaker 1: headic attack just thinking like I don't have time, so

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Speaker 1: like it just nesses everything up when everything doesn't fall

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Speaker 1: into place. I'm like, you know what give people grace?

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Speaker 1: And you used to be a stylist figure it out,

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Speaker 1: So like, what's the solution because I used to like

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Speaker 1: have a little pity party. Now it's like, you know what,

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Speaker 1: find a solution.

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Speaker 2: Breathe.

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Speaker 1: Everything's fine, and everything's fine, that's the main thing.

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Speaker 2: And you still got a job as long as my

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Speaker 2: clothes get But no, I am.

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Speaker 1: I'm learning to give myself grace and give other people grace. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And that's the main thing, because I feel like a

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Speaker 1: lot of times we're so hard on ourselves.

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Speaker 2: I have, I had, I'm working on it. A perfectionist spirit.

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Speaker 1: Where it came from a childhood like everything had to

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Speaker 1: be right just because I didn't want to get in

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Speaker 1: trouble or I was scared to make bad grade because

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Speaker 1: I didn't certain different things I didn't want to happen.

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Speaker 1: So like this perfection thing just carried through my whole

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Speaker 1: life and even as an adult into relationships.

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Speaker 2: Just everything had to be perfect. And that's just not life.

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Speaker 3: No, not even a little bit right, right, Seriously, have

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Speaker 3: you ever dealt with anything like that?

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Speaker 2: Man?

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Speaker 3: I think my thing was once I figured I messed up,

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Speaker 3: like in the eyes of the church and the eyes

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Speaker 3: of my family.

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Speaker 2: Once I became a teen mom.

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Speaker 3: I felt like the bar was so low for me

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Speaker 3: that there was no there was no reason to try

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Speaker 3: and be perfect. So I think I just was like,

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Speaker 3: we'll try whatever, we'll do whatever. And so I think

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Speaker 3: come into a space where I find worth in value

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Speaker 3: and myself has allowed me to work on my own

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Speaker 3: set of ethics that weren't based on someone else's opinion

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Speaker 3: or perspective of who I was because I didn't have

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Speaker 3: a lot to reach forth.

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Speaker 2: Wow, that is powerful.

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Speaker 1: You touched on fourteen year old Sarah. I want to

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Speaker 1: talk to fourteen year old Sarah because.

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Speaker 2: We have an old We're going to try and make

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Speaker 2: me cry.

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Speaker 1: No, okay, no, I'm really no, no, no, no, no no.

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Speaker 1: But we have like a wide range of age groups

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Speaker 1: in this in our community. Sure, I have high school

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Speaker 1: girls all the way to women. Oh you say more

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Speaker 1: mature women are seasoned women. Yes, So I want to

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Speaker 1: talk to fourteen year old Sarah because I know just

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Speaker 1: being the daughter of Bishop the Bishop Tdjakes already carries

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Speaker 1: a way of responsibility that you didn't ask for even

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Speaker 1: as a child.

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Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: Growing up in the church and the church can be

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Speaker 1: one of the most judgmental places that there is what

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Speaker 1: was that like in the mental of fourteen year old

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Speaker 1: Sayer realizing, Oh my goodness, I've made a mistake and

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Speaker 1: what you probably felt was a grave mistake in the

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Speaker 1: eyes of a pastor's daughter.

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Speaker 3: You know, I was so young, so I was technically

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Speaker 3: thirteen when I got pregnant. I was so young that

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Speaker 3: the worst thing I could think about was like, oh

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Speaker 3: my gosh, I'm going to get a whooping, I'm going

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Speaker 3: to get grounded. I wasn't even thinking about the implications

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Speaker 3: of like having a child. All I could think about

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Speaker 3: is how my parents would respond. It was their response

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Speaker 3: that let me know that this is bigger than trouble,

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Speaker 3: Like your life has changed. There was something about the

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Speaker 3: way they responded that made me realize, like, this isn't

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Speaker 3: something grounding's going to fix. This isn't something that we're

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Speaker 3: going to take the TV away, right. I had no

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Speaker 3: idea what it meant to be a parent. I had

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Speaker 3: no idea. Yeah, and then their grief let me know

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Speaker 3: that this is going to be hard. And then I

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Speaker 3: begin to realize, like, not only am I going to

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Speaker 3: have to figure out whatever it means to be a

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Speaker 3: parent at fourteen years old, I'm also gonna have to

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Speaker 3: do it with this audience, right. And so the first

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Speaker 3: time anyone at the church even knew that I was pregnant.

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Speaker 3: I had my son in the October, so my Mother's Day.

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Speaker 3: My parents knew the Mother's Day before I had him. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: and I wasn't showing. But there was a family friend

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Speaker 3: who knew. And my father did a prayer for mothers

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Speaker 3: in the church and he asked them mothers to stand

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Speaker 3: and this woman grabs me by my hand and has

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Speaker 3: me stand up.

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Speaker 2: What I just got chills? What it was that was yeah, messy,

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Speaker 2: like girl, what is your I know? Sweeten was like ma'am.

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Speaker 2: But that's see.

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Speaker 3: I think part of how I think I even ended

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Speaker 3: up pregnant was like my parents when we lived in

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Speaker 3: West Virginia that's where I was born, we would like

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Speaker 3: it was a smaller family church. We'd all sit together

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Speaker 3: when we moved to Dallas because of just how that

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Speaker 3: church was said at Like my parents sat on the

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Speaker 3: platform and we sat on the floor. And so that

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Speaker 3: separation at like seven eight years old was the beginning

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Speaker 3: me feeling like I don't know where I fit like

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Speaker 3: and then we had fifteen hundred people joined the church

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Speaker 3: that Sunday, and so it's like you mean something to them,

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Speaker 3: but you don't really know what you mean to them.

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Speaker 3: And then I don't have this comfort or security blanket

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Speaker 3: which would have been my parents, And so she didn't

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Speaker 3: even know until after service.

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Speaker 2: My sister was so upset. My sister was so upset.

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Speaker 2: It wasn't the place for that place to do that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, how did you feel that moment where you just

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Speaker 1: like humiliated, like what are you?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that was the beginning of shame. That was the

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Speaker 3: beginning of shame. I think before then, like I knew

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Speaker 3: my life had changed. I was still probably trying to

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Speaker 3: figure out what that meant. I knew my parents were

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Speaker 3: grieving and working through something. But the beginning of embarrassment

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Speaker 3: and ashamed happened before I was even showing wow, and

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Speaker 3: it just carried on throughout then, wondering like what do

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Speaker 3: people think about me? Or knowing what people thought about me,

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Speaker 3: you know, people like you know, fast girls are contagious,

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Speaker 3: so like we got to pull our daughters away from you.

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Speaker 3: So that was an interesting thing.

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Speaker 1: It's funny when you say fast girls are contagious. We

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Speaker 1: had to pull our daughters away from you. I remember

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Speaker 1: my brother. He had gotten in trouble when he was younger,

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Speaker 1: and as parents, you want to when you see other

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Speaker 1: people's children saying, don't hang around him because he's a

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Speaker 1: troublemaker and your son hasn't done anything yet. But then

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Speaker 1: when your son gets in trouble and you feel what

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Speaker 1: it feels like for other parents, be like stay away

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Speaker 1: from him, crazy.

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Speaker 2: It's a different.

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Speaker 1: Feeling, and you're like, oh, then you realize what that

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Speaker 1: feels like. It's not until it's your child that people

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Speaker 1: are saying don't hang around that when I don't.

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Speaker 2: She's a troublemaker.

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Speaker 1: He's a troublemaker that they realize, Oh, this is what

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Speaker 1: I was doing too to understand their kids.

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Speaker 3: And it's so interesting now that I am a parent,

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Speaker 3: I think that like, separation is what we use instead

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Speaker 3: of conversation. So instead of talking about like what types

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Speaker 3: of conversations are you all having at your age, and

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Speaker 3: like how did you feel about that, and like what

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Speaker 3: do you think about your own body and your own

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Speaker 3: like what, we don't have conversations. We just separate, which

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Speaker 3: doesn't necessarily keep it from happening, because unless we're having

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Speaker 3: communication with our children, we're just setting them up to

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Speaker 3: do something with a different friend group.

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Speaker 2: You know exactly. That's so true. How do you have

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Speaker 2: transparent and vulnerable conversations with your kids?

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Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, okay, because you know now, I like,

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Speaker 3: I'm probably overboard.

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Speaker 2: They're probably sicking me.

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Speaker 1: Mom.

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Speaker 3: So a few years ago, my daughter was singing a

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Speaker 3: song in the car, is like some Lizzo song, and

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Speaker 3: she whatever it was. I don't remember exactly the song,

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Speaker 3: but whatever it was, I could tell she was talking

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Speaker 3: about something nasty, but she was it had some candy

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Speaker 3: on it, so what nastiness?

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Speaker 2: Right?

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Speaker 3: And so I paused it and I was like, what

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Speaker 3: do you think she just meant by that? And she

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Speaker 3: was like, I don't know, I just like to be

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Speaker 3: I was like, well, she's talking about is someone that

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Speaker 3: I'm using like the biological names, body parts like?

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Speaker 2: And how about this happening there? She's like, I was like,

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Speaker 2: is that gross? Isn't that terrible?

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Speaker 3: Break this down because I just want you to understand that,

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Speaker 3: like part of the messages that are being sent are

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Speaker 3: so sugarcoated that you will be bopping your head to

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Speaker 3: something that you actually think is gross. And I'm like, okay,

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Speaker 3: the beat. It like, I'm not trying to take your

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Speaker 3: little shoulder bop away. I just want you to know

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Speaker 3: that while your shoulders are bopping, they're trying to.

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Speaker 2: Send you a message exactly. And so she was.

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Speaker 3: Early in her life when we started asking when she

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Speaker 3: when we had that conversation. Another thing I've done is

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Speaker 3: I'm like, anything in the world that you asked me,

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Speaker 3: I will answer because if you were grown enough to

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Speaker 3: ask me, like if it's circling in your world, circling

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Speaker 3: in your thoughts, I want you to know that, no

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Speaker 3: matter what, if you ask me, I will tell you

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Speaker 3: the truth. And my girls take full advantage of this.

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Speaker 3: I tell my husband sometimes some of the stuff they're

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Speaker 3: asking me.

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Speaker 2: He's like, oh, I don't ask you right there.

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Speaker 3: But it's really funny to hear what's happening in their school,

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Speaker 3: Like I'm keeping up with all their friends, and like, oh,

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Speaker 3: was she talking about house her friends? How are things

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Speaker 3: with her mom? I'm not like the other mom. I'm

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Speaker 3: a cool mom right right. I can sense that, but

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Speaker 3: it helps me. It helps me to keep a pulse

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Speaker 3: on their world. My kids are really really important to me.

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Speaker 3: And then the scheme of all of what's happening in

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Speaker 3: my life. I just want them to always feel centered

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Speaker 3: stage and I want them to know that I want

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Speaker 3: to be a part of your world. You're not just

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Speaker 3: in my world. I want to be a part of

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Speaker 3: your world. And we work towards that.

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Speaker 2: I love. That is amazing. I thank you. I love

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Speaker 2: being a mom. It's okay.

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Speaker 1: Now, let me tell you something personal. I go back

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Speaker 1: and forth if I want.

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Speaker 2: To have kids.

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Speaker 1: I'm forty one now, and I'm like, you know, as

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Speaker 1: we get older, it's harder to have kids, and pd

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Speaker 1: I go to change church doctor Dais Daniels, and he

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Speaker 1: told the story about Sarah okay, and I was like, well,

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Speaker 1: maybe I'll have a Sarah moment, you know where, like

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Speaker 1: later on in life, if God's willing, then I'll.

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Speaker 2: Have a child.

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Speaker 1: But I am so scared to bring up a child

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Speaker 1: into the world that it is today because it's not

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Speaker 1: like it was we were growing up. It is so different.

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Speaker 1: And I just think about all the influence from social

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Speaker 1: media to the music, you know, even like the music

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Speaker 1: we listen to back then in the nineties, they were

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Speaker 1: saying some freaky stuff that and now I'm growing I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I know I did.

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Speaker 3: The fact that I could rap word for words Lady

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Speaker 3: Chris's song I Want to Do Things in.

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Speaker 2: The back of the crowd. I mean word for words.

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Speaker 3: I know I was when I think about it in context,

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Speaker 3: like now, I'm like, no, wonder you got presnout. It's

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Speaker 3: not didn't exist in your world like R. Kelly was

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Speaker 3: out here talking about Ignition, Key's Ignition, Like there was

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Speaker 3: a curiosity in the music. And that has really helped

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Speaker 3: me to forgive myself too, because a lot of times

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Speaker 3: I was just looking at what I did, but not

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Speaker 3: the context that I was raising when I made those choices.

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Speaker 3: So my parents are busy, they're working, and I am

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Speaker 3: literally being raised by the culture. I'm being raised by

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Speaker 3: hip hop. I'm being raised by music, and so it

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Speaker 3: was not as far off as it's people people made

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Speaker 3: it sing. Even seeing my daughter years ago, we're listening

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Speaker 3: to the song she's fourteen now, and they're talking about

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Speaker 3: sex in the song, and so it's not as like,

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Speaker 3: oh my gosh.

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Speaker 2: Where did this come from? Right, It's everywhere. It's everywhere, and.

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Speaker 1: We turn TV on, it's on the TV, it's in

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Speaker 1: the music, it's on social media, like everywhere.

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Speaker 2: You turning them.

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Speaker 1: I was just like, oh, I was like, do I

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Speaker 1: want to bring up a checause I know how protect

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Speaker 1: vume of my nieces and nephews and people I love.

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Speaker 1: I would get on my child's nerves. They'd be like,

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Speaker 1: mama police.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, what are you doing?

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Speaker 1: What are you going?

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Speaker 3: I totally support the women's you know, right to be

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Speaker 3: able to say I don't know if motherhood is going

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Speaker 3: to be my thing. Like I may be the rich

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Speaker 3: Auntie vibes, because it's very much giving rich Aunti vibes

319
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Speaker 3: in here, definitely not giving toys. I'm gonna be honest

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Speaker 3: with you. Oh my gosh, it's not giving diapers. But

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Speaker 3: you know, you know it could.

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Speaker 2: It could if you wanted to want to, but it

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Speaker 2: could not if you don't want it. I got a

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Speaker 2: basement that all the walls are black, okay, dark ferns.

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Speaker 2: Just start down there. They can they can go down

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Speaker 2: there and do all of the mass.

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Speaker 1: My my brother's girlfriend was changing my nephew's diaper on.

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Speaker 2: That sofa back there. How that custom sofa?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And I came, I said, can you put him

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Speaker 1: on the floor.

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Speaker 2: She's like I'm not. She's like, I'm not gonna.

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Speaker 1: Can you put him on the just to be safe,

333
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Speaker 1: just I don't even know I was. And it's so

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Speaker 1: funny because he'll come through her hands on. Yeah, and

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Speaker 1: sometimes I tell the cleaning lady just leave that there

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Speaker 1: just so I can see like his little hair around

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Speaker 1: the window.

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Speaker 2: And I'm like, well, maybe I could. It is an

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Speaker 2: incredible journey.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's an incredible journey to see a version of yourself,

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Speaker 3: but also to experience this person who has their unique

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Speaker 3: imprint and identity. It's it's petrifying, it's exciting, but it's

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Speaker 3: one of it's one of.

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Speaker 2: The things I love. It is. I mean, I love

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Speaker 2: you and.

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Speaker 3: My husband's wife, yes, but it's one of the things

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Speaker 3: I love the most in my world.

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Speaker 2: That's amazing.

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Speaker 1: You talk about how you want your children to feel

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Speaker 1: like they're a part of your life, not just in

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Speaker 1: your life.

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Speaker 2: And a part of her book.

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Speaker 1: You let me get to the note you talked about

354
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Speaker 1: here we go. You talked about imagine me. Imagine with me.

355
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Speaker 1: You're standing in an empty parking lot with reserve spaces.

356
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Speaker 1: You can't tell what each spot is labeled, but each

357
00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:21,680
Speaker 1: time a new expression of your identity is added. A

358
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Speaker 1: car pulls into a spot. Eventually you see that there

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Speaker 1: are spots labeled child, friends, sibling, partner, leader, students, entrepreneur,

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Speaker 1: or colleague, each spot with its own car. When you

361
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Speaker 1: are navigating the responsibility of your life, you're moving from

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Speaker 1: one vehicle.

363
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Speaker 2: To the next.

364
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Speaker 1: So you were on this tour, seven city tour. How

365
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Speaker 1: are you finding time for your children, your husband, your team?

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Speaker 2: You got so much going on, Like, how do you

367
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Speaker 2: balance it off? Preaching? You're doing everything well.

368
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Speaker 3: I put a lot of time in with the family

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Speaker 3: before I go on the road.

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Speaker 2: That's good.

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Speaker 3: A lot of times. So my husband and I are

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Speaker 3: usually taking them to school. My husband and I are

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Speaker 3: picking them up. My whole world fits around their school schedule.

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Speaker 2: That's amazing.

375
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Speaker 3: Like after two thirty, I can't take any meetings, Like

376
00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:08,680
Speaker 3: maybe I could take something at four thirty when I

377
00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:11,640
Speaker 3: get home, but my world centers around them when I'm home,

378
00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:13,720
Speaker 3: so that when I tell them that I need to

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Speaker 3: take some time to do the thing that I get

380
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Speaker 3: to do that I love to do that makes me

381
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Speaker 3: feel fulfilled, they are more willing because I put in

382
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Speaker 3: a lot of time at home. Even then, we're doing

383
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Speaker 3: a lot of texting, a lot of face timing. I

384
00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:27,520
Speaker 3: was on face time last night with my daughter. I mean,

385
00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:30,320
Speaker 3: she's eight. We were definitely having some girl time, some

386
00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:33,160
Speaker 3: girl talk, but I stay in touch with them. Then

387
00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:36,080
Speaker 3: my husband's on the road with me too, and he's

388
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Speaker 3: like also helping me to facilitate everything connected with the tour,

389
00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:43,720
Speaker 3: but he's also you know, my soft place when it's finished.

390
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Speaker 3: Because a lot of this requires me to be more

391
00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:50,960
Speaker 3: extroverted than I am naturally and to have more energy

392
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Speaker 3: than I usually do. And I always tell people like,

393
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Speaker 3: he knows how much it cost me to be me

394
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Speaker 3: wo and so when the day is over, to be

395
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Speaker 3: able to have someone who's like, I know that was expensive,

396
00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:02,600
Speaker 3: it grounds me.

397
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Speaker 2: That is so good. Yeah, I'm the same way.

398
00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:08,919
Speaker 1: I am like introverted. But then they tell me I'm

399
00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:12,800
Speaker 1: the most introverted extrovert person. Really, yes, Because my bad

400
00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:14,720
Speaker 1: social battery runs very fast.

401
00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:16,399
Speaker 2: Okay, And I'm like, okay, I need that. I need

402
00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:18,720
Speaker 2: a minute. I go to my corner so I can recharge,

403
00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:20,200
Speaker 2: and then I come back and I'm like, okay, let's

404
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:23,440
Speaker 2: ask some fun that see I'm only introverted.

405
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Speaker 3: I said, I feel like I'm so weird. I'm trying

406
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,520
Speaker 3: to people like I would love to spend the day

407
00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:32,480
Speaker 3: with you. I was like, you would be so disappointed.

408
00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:35,800
Speaker 3: I am so socially awkward. It's not even funny, Like

409
00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:37,760
Speaker 3: it takes so much for me to be like, all right,

410
00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:39,640
Speaker 3: I'm gonna go talk to people, like in a room

411
00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:42,320
Speaker 3: full of people. Girls, here's something because you can put

412
00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:44,359
Speaker 3: words together that that means you're not introverted.

413
00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:47,320
Speaker 2: But it's like, just because I know how to use words,

414
00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:52,480
Speaker 2: it doesn't mean I want to use right. That far true.

415
00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:56,440
Speaker 1: I'm the same literally the same way my friends tell

416
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Speaker 1: me that I said, She'll ask me if I want

417
00:17:58,200 --> 00:18:00,760
Speaker 1: to do something, I'm like, no, no, you say no

418
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:04,280
Speaker 1: so easy and like with no life no because there

419
00:18:04,359 --> 00:18:05,280
Speaker 1: is no because no.

420
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Speaker 2: I can't do it. I can.

421
00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:12,840
Speaker 1: Dena will tell you that there are times where I'm like, oh,

422
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:14,720
Speaker 1: like I just need a minute. And she's like the

423
00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:16,840
Speaker 1: best housemate because she knows, like as soon as we're

424
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Speaker 1: done working, go to our respective.

425
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:22,280
Speaker 2: Corners, like she goes, yeah, and it's almost like nobody's here.

426
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Speaker 2: I'm like, this is great. Yeah, I love that.

427
00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:27,160
Speaker 3: I love traveling with people who who like don't make

428
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:28,719
Speaker 3: me feel like we're traveling together.

429
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:32,879
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, I learned that with Tyler him, Yeah, understanding

430
00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:34,760
Speaker 1: that this person has a million things going on.

431
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:35,879
Speaker 2: They don't need me talking.

432
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Speaker 1: They just need to feel like you're not there almost.

433
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Speaker 2: That's the thing.

434
00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:41,520
Speaker 3: That's the thing because a lot of times when I

435
00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:44,680
Speaker 3: am working with someone intimately, like they're like, now here's

436
00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:47,639
Speaker 3: my chance to like tell you all of the things

437
00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:48,440
Speaker 3: that I want to tell.

438
00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:51,679
Speaker 2: It's not I need you. You're doing this. I need you? Yeah,

439
00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:55,159
Speaker 2: little less mean, are you?

440
00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:57,359
Speaker 3: Especially because I mean when I'm with my kids, like

441
00:18:57,400 --> 00:19:02,040
Speaker 3: they're talking twenty four seven, so I'm I'm constantly around talking,

442
00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:03,439
Speaker 3: so silence refueled me.

443
00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:06,200
Speaker 2: So I need silence saying I am the same way.

444
00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:10,680
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, you talked about Terray being your pastor Teray,

445
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:17,040
Speaker 1: would you I'm the respectful ay pastor Teray being your

446
00:19:17,119 --> 00:19:20,080
Speaker 1: sauce face, especially on the road. Do you remember the

447
00:19:20,119 --> 00:19:22,840
Speaker 1: first person that made you feel seen and safe? Oh?

448
00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:31,560
Speaker 3: Okay, yes, the first I'm gonna say. People who made

449
00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:34,880
Speaker 3: me feel seen and safe were the people who were

450
00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:40,720
Speaker 3: around my parents. So there's their head of security, who

451
00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:46,400
Speaker 3: is my son's godfather, Sean Smith. There was a gentleman

452
00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:49,800
Speaker 3: who worked in our home. His name was Anthony Smith.

453
00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:53,760
Speaker 3: He died suddenly and it felt like, you know, losing

454
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:57,960
Speaker 3: an adoptive father. But he was there throughout my pregnancy

455
00:19:58,000 --> 00:19:59,720
Speaker 3: and said, baby girl, you're gonna be all right, like

456
00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:00,800
Speaker 3: the you're gonna.

457
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:01,200
Speaker 2: Make it through this.

458
00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:05,359
Speaker 3: And Cammy Garner, who was my mom's assistant, she's still

459
00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:07,639
Speaker 3: a part of my mom's team and she's been there

460
00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:10,560
Speaker 3: for like twenty years. Even though my parents were balancing

461
00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:12,920
Speaker 3: all of these things, there were these people around them

462
00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:15,720
Speaker 3: that took such good care of me that they made

463
00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:18,359
Speaker 3: me feel seen in value just for who I was.

464
00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:19,560
Speaker 2: That is beautiful.

465
00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:22,600
Speaker 1: That is beautiful because I know oftentimes when I'm sure

466
00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:26,040
Speaker 1: being Bischo Jake's daughter, you feel like it takes a

467
00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:28,560
Speaker 1: team for sure. And I'm sure those people are helped

468
00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:30,680
Speaker 1: fulfill all those spots where maybe Daddy wasn't.

469
00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:33,240
Speaker 2: There was a busy because when he was all over

470
00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:34,080
Speaker 2: the world.

471
00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:37,200
Speaker 3: All over the world the world, especially at the age

472
00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:40,480
Speaker 3: that I was growing up, things had really taken off.

473
00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:42,720
Speaker 3: So he would like preach on there was like three

474
00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:46,720
Speaker 3: services on Sunday, a Saturday service. He'd get on the

475
00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:49,480
Speaker 3: plane and he'd like preacher all of these different churches

476
00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:52,439
Speaker 3: come home on Saturday, and then like leaving in on Sunday,

477
00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:56,080
Speaker 3: like twenty four Saturdays, and sometimes my mom would go

478
00:20:56,119 --> 00:20:58,960
Speaker 3: with him. It would just like we didn't know like

479
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:01,560
Speaker 3: when this coming, when was going, but there were these

480
00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:04,240
Speaker 3: people who would like take the time to be there

481
00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:08,080
Speaker 3: for us and told us around the things and God's help.

482
00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:09,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, for sure.

483
00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:13,840
Speaker 1: It wasn't long ago that your father passed down the

484
00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:16,240
Speaker 1: torch of women there are loose, And in that moment

485
00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:19,080
Speaker 1: he didn't lose his power, but you gained a huge

486
00:21:19,119 --> 00:21:20,800
Speaker 1: set of responsibility and power in that.

487
00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:22,120
Speaker 2: What was that like?

488
00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:26,879
Speaker 3: So everyone knew that women that are loose was coming

489
00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:30,600
Speaker 3: to an end, and they were like, you know, you're next, your.

490
00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:32,639
Speaker 2: Next, But woman evolved already existed.

491
00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:35,400
Speaker 3: So I was a little confused with like, I don't

492
00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:37,200
Speaker 3: know what people like, I don't know what y'all think

493
00:21:37,359 --> 00:21:45,080
Speaker 3: is about to happen here, because done he dragged me

494
00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:45,640
Speaker 3: so low.

495
00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:47,800
Speaker 2: He dragged me.

496
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:50,600
Speaker 3: So first of all, I'm like, Okay, so he's going

497
00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:53,000
Speaker 3: to honor what woman evolve is in the context of

498
00:21:53,040 --> 00:21:53,600
Speaker 3: women that are loose.

499
00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:55,040
Speaker 2: I'm like, that's the extent of it.

500
00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:58,960
Speaker 3: Like maybe he's going to tell people, hey, woman evolved,

501
00:21:59,119 --> 00:22:00,560
Speaker 3: But I did not think it was going to be

502
00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:03,160
Speaker 3: this whole entire thing.

503
00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:07,840
Speaker 2: Yes, and it was a thing. It was a whole.

504
00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:10,480
Speaker 3: Thing, down to a video of like how we got

505
00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:16,560
Speaker 3: here and yeah, so that was ugly crying for the

506
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:21,439
Speaker 3: world to see. Oh, you know, I have a limit limits.

507
00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:24,000
Speaker 3: I can't fool with you today, So don't even I'm

508
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:25,639
Speaker 3: not really you know what I mean. I'm a little

509
00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:28,879
Speaker 3: because I don't know what to me today. But I

510
00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:31,280
Speaker 3: will say that above like what it meant for like

511
00:22:31,359 --> 00:22:33,800
Speaker 3: women evolved and women that are lose like that was

512
00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:37,480
Speaker 3: less important to me as much as and I didn't

513
00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:40,320
Speaker 3: know this until afterwards, the fact that my father has

514
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:43,520
Speaker 3: poured so much of his life into women that aren't loose,

515
00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:47,080
Speaker 3: and for him to say, I'm gonna lay this at

516
00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:50,959
Speaker 3: your feet, like my influence, the knowledge that I have

517
00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:54,359
Speaker 3: these people who I have walked through so many different

518
00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:57,439
Speaker 3: stages of life. I trust you with them, and I

519
00:22:57,520 --> 00:23:01,400
Speaker 3: trust that you can handle whatever comes with this platform.

520
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:05,119
Speaker 3: It restored a part of me that felt like I

521
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:08,440
Speaker 3: had lost his trust, you know, not just through my pregnancy,

522
00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:10,840
Speaker 3: but after I got pregnant. I was just kind of like,

523
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:14,480
Speaker 3: I just prepare for disappointment out of me, like I'm

524
00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:15,960
Speaker 3: not going to do any of the things you want

525
00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:18,359
Speaker 3: me to do. I waitress at the strip club. I

526
00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:20,680
Speaker 3: dropped out of college. They bought me a car when

527
00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:22,560
Speaker 3: I was sixteen. I was like, you know what, I

528
00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:24,440
Speaker 3: don't want the car because I don't want you thinking

529
00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:25,840
Speaker 3: you will be able to tell me what to do,

530
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:28,240
Speaker 3: like I'm my own person. I gave the car back.

531
00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:30,400
Speaker 3: I went to a car lot, got my own car.

532
00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:33,800
Speaker 3: Like I was constantly like, I don't want the expectations.

533
00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:37,240
Speaker 2: I'm going to make it on my own. And I did, Like.

534
00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:39,679
Speaker 3: I mean, I got this incredible job and I was

535
00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:42,639
Speaker 3: going for an Air Force contractor. Then I became a

536
00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:45,840
Speaker 3: receptionist and office manager government clearance, Like I was.

537
00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:46,920
Speaker 2: Making my own path.

538
00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:47,600
Speaker 1: Wow.

539
00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:50,520
Speaker 3: And I think I began to prove to him that

540
00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:52,800
Speaker 3: I had the work ethic to take care of myself.

541
00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:54,880
Speaker 3: And he was like, all right, you know, I didn't

542
00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:56,720
Speaker 3: agree with the path you took, but I see that

543
00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:58,800
Speaker 3: you're making head away. But I don't know that I

544
00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:02,840
Speaker 3: ever felt like the trust was fully restored from those

545
00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:05,680
Speaker 3: moments went until then.

546
00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:09,600
Speaker 1: Wow. So how how old were you then? Like how

547
00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:11,919
Speaker 1: the time had passed? So you feel like this has

548
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:13,040
Speaker 1: been restored in this.

549
00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:15,440
Speaker 3: Moment, I think I will say that I feel like

550
00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:18,119
Speaker 3: he respected me, I felt like he loved me. I

551
00:24:18,119 --> 00:24:22,960
Speaker 3: felt like there had been forgiveness. But my dad's life,

552
00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:26,359
Speaker 3: he has poured his life into his work and he's

553
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:32,240
Speaker 3: very protective about his work. So that level of trust, man,

554
00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:33,760
Speaker 3: I mean twenty years.

555
00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:35,600
Speaker 2: Woweh, twenty years.

556
00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:38,560
Speaker 1: So now you are carrying this towards you're at You're

557
00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:41,600
Speaker 1: an assistant pastor at Potter's House in Dallas.

558
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:45,199
Speaker 2: What what is? What does that weight feel like? And

559
00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:47,240
Speaker 2: how you carry that every week? Because I'm sure like

560
00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:48,719
Speaker 2: those are some big shoes and step in two.

561
00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:53,280
Speaker 3: I do not see it that way. I don't see

562
00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:55,239
Speaker 3: it that way. I think if I saw it that way,

563
00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:56,000
Speaker 3: it would scare me.

564
00:24:56,240 --> 00:25:01,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, because scar, Yeah.

565
00:24:57,880 --> 00:24:57,960
Speaker 1: I.

566
00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:03,320
Speaker 3: Don't that way, only because I never asked for this.

567
00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:05,960
Speaker 3: So when we were in Brooklyn, We're standing in this

568
00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:09,520
Speaker 3: beautiful theater and I'm like, there's sometimes I don't always

569
00:25:09,520 --> 00:25:13,400
Speaker 3: feel I guess deserving of the influence and the impact,

570
00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:15,679
Speaker 3: because there are some people who are like I always

571
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:17,920
Speaker 3: knew one day that I would be standing in a

572
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,280
Speaker 3: room like this. I always knew one day that I

573
00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:23,760
Speaker 3: would inspire millions of people. I never felt that way. Wow,

574
00:25:24,080 --> 00:25:28,360
Speaker 3: I never wanted this. I want to be a good

575
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:30,919
Speaker 3: steward over it. I love it, I respect it, I

576
00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:33,760
Speaker 3: honor it, but I never wanted it. And I'm careful

577
00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:38,960
Speaker 3: to try and manipulate something that God placed in my lap.

578
00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:44,280
Speaker 3: I feel like my responsibility is to protect it, not manipulated.

579
00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:47,159
Speaker 3: And so even with that's being positioned in Dallas as

580
00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:50,879
Speaker 3: assistant pastors, I feel like my job is to stay pure,

581
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:54,320
Speaker 3: to stay authentic, to stay obedient, but not to then

582
00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:58,360
Speaker 3: think that this is something that is mine when it's

583
00:25:58,359 --> 00:25:59,679
Speaker 3: something that God's given me.

584
00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:01,680
Speaker 2: So it's interesting.

585
00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:04,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're saying that you didn't feel deserving, and in

586
00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:07,720
Speaker 1: your book you dedicated it to anyone who wonders if.

587
00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:09,440
Speaker 2: They are enough. So I hear.

588
00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:12,639
Speaker 1: I understand that now because I know there's still today

589
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:14,920
Speaker 1: there's moments where I'm like, I don't know if I'm

590
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:16,719
Speaker 1: made for this or I don't know if I deserve that,

591
00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:20,320
Speaker 1: you know, and even the life that I live because

592
00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:23,080
Speaker 1: I've made mistakes. You know, we've all made them, and

593
00:26:23,119 --> 00:26:25,080
Speaker 1: a lot of them we carry it harder than God does.

594
00:26:25,359 --> 00:26:27,080
Speaker 1: A lots of you don't forgive us for it, and

595
00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:29,560
Speaker 1: I'm still carrying this all my back, like, oh Lord,

596
00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:31,760
Speaker 1: please give I'm saying like just praying that I've been

597
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:34,600
Speaker 1: forgiven for certain things, and then to look around like

598
00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:37,600
Speaker 1: I am so undeserving, you know, and then trying to

599
00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:39,600
Speaker 1: get out of that saying no, I'm a child of God.

600
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:40,639
Speaker 2: This is what he wants from me.

601
00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:45,000
Speaker 1: You know, at what point did you or have you

602
00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:46,720
Speaker 1: gotten to the point where you feel like I am enough,

603
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:49,119
Speaker 1: I do deserve this or do you still walk in

604
00:26:49,119 --> 00:27:07,679
Speaker 1: that like I know you said, You're like, dang, I'm.

605
00:26:59,640 --> 00:27:01,240
Speaker 2: I don't know that.

606
00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:08,399
Speaker 3: I feel like influence is something.

607
00:27:10,359 --> 00:27:11,720
Speaker 2: That I deserve.

608
00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:14,560
Speaker 3: I want to say this right because I know what

609
00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:18,240
Speaker 3: I feel in my heart. It's something that I honor.

610
00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:22,480
Speaker 3: But I see God loving on me, not from the

611
00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:26,879
Speaker 3: fact that I have influence or that my life means

612
00:27:26,920 --> 00:27:29,600
Speaker 3: a lot to a lot of people. I see God

613
00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:33,000
Speaker 3: loving on me and the way that love comes through

614
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:37,000
Speaker 3: the people who are closest to me, and that I

615
00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:40,880
Speaker 3: have been able to accept. I will say that one

616
00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:44,400
Speaker 3: of the things I'm like trying to work through. Sometimes

617
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:45,920
Speaker 3: when I'm on the road, people are like, oh my gosh,

618
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:48,480
Speaker 3: I love you so much, and.

619
00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:49,919
Speaker 2: Your messages have helped me. They touched me.

620
00:27:50,359 --> 00:27:52,080
Speaker 3: And one of the things I'm working through is like,

621
00:27:52,119 --> 00:27:54,960
Speaker 3: that doesn't feel safe to me because I think that

622
00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:57,199
Speaker 3: I think it's a lot of it's rooted in what

623
00:27:57,240 --> 00:28:00,760
Speaker 3: I've gone through, But the idea that someone can love

624
00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:03,040
Speaker 3: you but you could disappoint them and then you could

625
00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:05,480
Speaker 3: be the girl that nobody wants to be around anymore

626
00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:09,760
Speaker 3: makes me feel unsafe with that level of love.

627
00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:10,400
Speaker 1: Wow.

628
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:13,480
Speaker 3: And so I think that I keep a healthy distance

629
00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:16,520
Speaker 3: with the influence part of it. And you know, that

630
00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:18,040
Speaker 3: could be healthier or not healthy.

631
00:28:18,080 --> 00:28:19,840
Speaker 2: We'll see. I'll talk to my therapist about it.

632
00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:24,280
Speaker 3: But it's hard to feel safe and influence. So the

633
00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:27,840
Speaker 3: influence part I just try to honor and protect. But

634
00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:31,440
Speaker 3: my family, that's where I feel God've loved them most absolutely.

635
00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:32,200
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness.

636
00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:35,440
Speaker 1: It's so crazy to say because as my I don't

637
00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:38,640
Speaker 1: like to call them fans, but my community grows so

638
00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:41,680
Speaker 1: many people kind of stand over me like that. Oh

639
00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:44,280
Speaker 1: my God, Crystal Chriss Bristol and that level of love.

640
00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:46,080
Speaker 1: You're my best friend in my head, You're my sister

641
00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:48,600
Speaker 1: in my head. I love you so much. I wake

642
00:28:48,680 --> 00:28:50,160
Speaker 1: up and watch your videos every day.

643
00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:52,960
Speaker 2: You kept me alive. I didn't kill myself because of you.

644
00:28:53,120 --> 00:28:56,320
Speaker 3: That's a different It's scary, Yeah.

645
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:56,640
Speaker 2: It really is.

646
00:28:56,720 --> 00:28:58,480
Speaker 1: And like you said, one day you can love me

647
00:28:58,520 --> 00:29:01,440
Speaker 1: and if I do make one mistake, your cancel.

648
00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:03,680
Speaker 2: Culture is real and we see it happen all the time.

649
00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:05,000
Speaker 2: I want to believe.

650
00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:07,960
Speaker 3: Like so I call the community that's connected with woman

651
00:29:08,040 --> 00:29:11,600
Speaker 3: involved the delegation and part of why I've I'm really

652
00:29:11,640 --> 00:29:14,640
Speaker 3: intentional about like being authentic and like here I am,

653
00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:16,560
Speaker 3: I'm on a journey just like the rest of you,

654
00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:19,640
Speaker 3: is that, like I know I may disappoint you at

655
00:29:19,680 --> 00:29:21,800
Speaker 3: some point, I'm not intentionally going to disappoint you. Like

656
00:29:21,800 --> 00:29:24,480
Speaker 3: I'm not out here living one thing and saying a

657
00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:27,120
Speaker 3: different thing. Like I am a woman of integrity and

658
00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:29,000
Speaker 3: I'm living the very thing that I say to you.

659
00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:31,920
Speaker 3: Even then, I know that we may not agree about

660
00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:34,440
Speaker 3: some things, and I want to believe that, like we

661
00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:36,280
Speaker 3: can work through and grow through anything.

662
00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:39,880
Speaker 2: But I don't know, like because people are like they're

663
00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:41,960
Speaker 2: so quick to cut you off. Yeah for sure.

664
00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:44,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I understand when you say, like your family,

665
00:29:44,240 --> 00:29:45,600
Speaker 1: those are close to you is where you feel the

666
00:29:45,640 --> 00:29:47,600
Speaker 1: safest and the most loved. It just the same way

667
00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:49,000
Speaker 1: with me because I know these are people that's gonna

668
00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:51,480
Speaker 1: ride with me. If I fall down, They're gonna help

669
00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:54,400
Speaker 1: me get back up. She's gonna like walk over me

670
00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:55,920
Speaker 1: and be like, all right, girl, we're done with you.

671
00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:56,280
Speaker 4: I know.

672
00:29:56,400 --> 00:30:00,000
Speaker 3: I want to believe though, And sometimes I remind myself

673
00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:03,520
Speaker 3: this because even the people who have been canceled haven't

674
00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:06,320
Speaker 3: been canceled, like, there are still some people who really

675
00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:09,200
Speaker 3: rock with them or like, you know, I love them,

676
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:12,560
Speaker 3: And so I also don't want to make the people

677
00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:15,440
Speaker 3: who would be willing to grow with me feel like

678
00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:18,680
Speaker 3: I don't trust them either, because there are some people.

679
00:30:18,840 --> 00:30:21,160
Speaker 3: I mean, you know, I've seen a lot of people

680
00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:23,160
Speaker 3: who look like, oh my gosh, this is their Downfather're

681
00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:25,160
Speaker 3: never going to recover from this. But there was a

682
00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:28,320
Speaker 3: space creative for them. So I don't know, we'll see

683
00:30:28,320 --> 00:30:28,840
Speaker 3: what happened.

684
00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:31,680
Speaker 1: Oof. That's so true. You talked about you're going to

685
00:30:31,720 --> 00:30:33,800
Speaker 1: talk to your therapist about it. A lot of people

686
00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:36,360
Speaker 1: don't want to mix Jesus with therapy. When did you

687
00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:39,640
Speaker 1: realize that God did create other tools of resources that

688
00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:41,880
Speaker 1: you could talk to someone and still believe that.

689
00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:43,160
Speaker 2: Your source is Jesus Christ.

690
00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:46,080
Speaker 3: My relationship with God has become much more deeper as

691
00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:48,960
Speaker 3: the result of me being in therapy, because there were

692
00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:53,040
Speaker 3: moments where I felt something that I could not give language.

693
00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:55,320
Speaker 2: So my prayer was not as effected. You know.

694
00:30:55,360 --> 00:30:57,360
Speaker 3: It's just kind of like God helped me. God helped me,

695
00:30:57,400 --> 00:30:59,880
Speaker 3: God help me. But to be able to say, like, God,

696
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:04,320
Speaker 3: I am feeling anxious about this transition that's taking place

697
00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:06,920
Speaker 3: in my life, and I need your spirit to meet

698
00:31:06,920 --> 00:31:08,960
Speaker 3: me in the place of my anxiety. Like my prayer,

699
00:31:09,040 --> 00:31:12,280
Speaker 3: life became so much better. It was probably honestly, after

700
00:31:12,280 --> 00:31:15,120
Speaker 3: I dropped my book Woman Evolve and hit the New

701
00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:18,080
Speaker 3: York Times bestsellers list, and one of my friends came

702
00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:20,080
Speaker 3: up and she's like, oh my gosh, Oh my gosh,

703
00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:25,800
Speaker 3: And I was like, you know what I mean. It's

704
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:29,320
Speaker 3: as I feel like I should probably be happy about this,

705
00:31:29,680 --> 00:31:32,239
Speaker 3: but I don't feel anything at all. And so I

706
00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:35,640
Speaker 3: started reading some books and then once I went through

707
00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:38,080
Speaker 3: a few books, I'm like, you probably should talk to someone.

708
00:31:38,160 --> 00:31:40,360
Speaker 3: But what I learned is that like I have just

709
00:31:40,480 --> 00:31:45,320
Speaker 3: been like emotionally frozen because I was overwhelmed by shame

710
00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:48,760
Speaker 3: and regret and depression, that I can function and work

711
00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:52,040
Speaker 3: and hit markers and hit goals, but I can't celebrate myself.

712
00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:54,280
Speaker 3: I don't know joy, I don't even know anger. Like

713
00:31:54,280 --> 00:31:56,040
Speaker 3: people can disappoint me. I don't let it get to

714
00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:59,040
Speaker 3: me because I won't own or advocate for what I'm

715
00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:02,240
Speaker 3: feeling in any given moment. And so I feel like

716
00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:05,920
Speaker 3: I've become a much better partner, a much better leader,

717
00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:08,800
Speaker 3: and a much better believer as a result of me

718
00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:09,760
Speaker 3: going to therapy.

719
00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:12,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, same, I did. My therapist definitely opened me up.

720
00:32:13,120 --> 00:32:15,560
Speaker 1: My therapist and I just talked about what I just

721
00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:18,560
Speaker 1: learned was the mother wound. And you did an episode

722
00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:22,280
Speaker 1: with your mom entitled Trauma to Hope. You also read

723
00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:25,160
Speaker 1: the book, which is a book that Denor Introd introduced

724
00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:31,000
Speaker 1: me to adult children of emotionally immature parents. What was

725
00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:34,160
Speaker 1: that like opening up to your mom, like in her

726
00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:36,720
Speaker 1: actually apologizing for not being there the way that you

727
00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:37,400
Speaker 1: needed her to be.

728
00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:41,120
Speaker 3: It was interesting because we've never had the conversation before.

729
00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:42,640
Speaker 3: I just came to a place where I was like,

730
00:32:42,680 --> 00:32:45,160
Speaker 3: I'm going to do this work on my own. I'm

731
00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:47,640
Speaker 3: not going to invite either of my parents to be

732
00:32:47,680 --> 00:32:49,440
Speaker 3: a part of this journey because I don't know where

733
00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:52,160
Speaker 3: they are and I don't I don't know that they're

734
00:32:52,160 --> 00:32:53,600
Speaker 3: going to be receptive to this, so I'm going to

735
00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:55,400
Speaker 3: just figure it out on my own. And I think

736
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:57,560
Speaker 3: I was actually doing I was at that stage when

737
00:32:57,600 --> 00:33:00,400
Speaker 3: we had this conversation and out of.

738
00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:01,480
Speaker 2: Nowhere she started it.

739
00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:04,280
Speaker 3: Out of nowhere, she said something like I think I

740
00:33:04,320 --> 00:33:06,760
Speaker 3: was talking about being nervous about moving back to Dallas

741
00:33:06,760 --> 00:33:09,120
Speaker 3: because I didn't want to, you know, I wanted to

742
00:33:09,200 --> 00:33:11,200
Speaker 3: keep my family clothes, and she was like, please do that.

743
00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:12,440
Speaker 2: I didn't do that with you all.

744
00:33:12,520 --> 00:33:16,640
Speaker 1: I was like, just oof the accountability and saying it.

745
00:33:16,880 --> 00:33:20,400
Speaker 3: She just said it, like she just said it. I

746
00:33:20,440 --> 00:33:23,640
Speaker 3: was like, I didn't I didn't know that you knew that.

747
00:33:24,080 --> 00:33:27,360
Speaker 3: Like wow, I felt that I didn't know that you

748
00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:32,200
Speaker 3: knew that. And that was I think I instantly turned

749
00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:33,800
Speaker 3: into a seven eight year old girl.

750
00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:35,240
Speaker 2: I was to say, what did that do?

751
00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:35,400
Speaker 1: For?

752
00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:36,160
Speaker 2: Seven eight year old?

753
00:33:36,160 --> 00:33:37,680
Speaker 1: Said I was gonna ask you that In that moment,

754
00:33:37,720 --> 00:33:39,640
Speaker 1: I know she spoke to that child.

755
00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:43,480
Speaker 3: And Mommy sees me oo, like it was like being

756
00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:47,400
Speaker 3: at the Potter's House Dallas with surrounded by thousands of

757
00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:51,120
Speaker 3: people and my mom grabbing my hand and saying, I

758
00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:52,960
Speaker 3: see you wow, and you're.

759
00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:53,600
Speaker 2: Not by yourself.

760
00:33:54,920 --> 00:34:00,360
Speaker 3: That's like, it doesn't matter how difficult your relationship ship

761
00:34:00,480 --> 00:34:03,320
Speaker 3: with your child has been, even if they're an adult.

762
00:34:03,760 --> 00:34:07,520
Speaker 3: Oftentimes we think it's too late, but that wound is

763
00:34:07,560 --> 00:34:10,120
Speaker 3: still there, and as long as you're still here, you

764
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:13,520
Speaker 3: have an opportunity to speak into that wound, and it

765
00:34:13,560 --> 00:34:16,000
Speaker 3: really does restore, it really does heal. I think sometimes

766
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:18,919
Speaker 3: it can be discouraging for a parent when it's like, Okay,

767
00:34:18,960 --> 00:34:20,719
Speaker 3: I can see some areas where I messed up, but

768
00:34:20,760 --> 00:34:21,960
Speaker 3: there's nothing I can do about it.

769
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:23,120
Speaker 2: Now, that's not true.

770
00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:27,000
Speaker 3: By acknowledging it, you can do something with what's left.

771
00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:29,640
Speaker 3: You can do something with where they're still growing and healing.

772
00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:31,839
Speaker 3: And my mom did that for me in a way

773
00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:33,439
Speaker 3: I didn't anticipate.

774
00:34:33,480 --> 00:34:34,800
Speaker 2: That is beautiful. I was.

775
00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:36,480
Speaker 3: I was the first of all, we were supposed to

776
00:34:36,520 --> 00:34:38,560
Speaker 3: just be having like a little cute Christmas or cute

777
00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:41,520
Speaker 3: Christmas chat, and all of a sudden, she was, I

778
00:34:41,520 --> 00:34:43,680
Speaker 3: didn't do that with you, And because it was so

779
00:34:43,920 --> 00:34:47,000
Speaker 3: raw for me, I just immediately broke down in tears.

780
00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:47,560
Speaker 2: Wow.

781
00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:49,799
Speaker 3: And then she said something. She was like, anything I

782
00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:53,600
Speaker 3: can clear up talk about ask like you tell me now.

783
00:34:53,719 --> 00:34:56,399
Speaker 3: She's like, because my mom's not here and I'll never

784
00:34:56,480 --> 00:34:58,640
Speaker 3: get answers. And so now I have this woman who's

785
00:34:58,680 --> 00:35:02,239
Speaker 3: in her sixties and I still have questions that I'll

786
00:35:02,239 --> 00:35:04,719
Speaker 3: never get an answer to. So as long as I

787
00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:06,359
Speaker 3: can be your answer, I'll share it.

788
00:35:06,560 --> 00:35:08,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, that is beautiful, gesus.

789
00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:11,520
Speaker 3: My mom is so I mean, everyone's like, you know

790
00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:15,600
Speaker 3: your tj sdaughter and I am by my mother.

791
00:35:15,880 --> 00:35:19,320
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, talk about it. She is the absolute best.

792
00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:25,200
Speaker 3: She is so sensitive but also resilient and strong.

793
00:35:25,120 --> 00:35:29,320
Speaker 2: And hilarious and loyal and.

794
00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:32,440
Speaker 3: Like she's just the absolute best. I can remember I

795
00:35:32,560 --> 00:35:35,120
Speaker 3: was going through it. I was in college and I

796
00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:37,759
Speaker 3: was going to football games in college and they were

797
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:39,719
Speaker 3: having like family that at one of the football games.

798
00:35:39,760 --> 00:35:40,879
Speaker 2: But there was this girl me and this.

799
00:35:40,880 --> 00:35:45,319
Speaker 3: Girl had gotten into me, and I said, I was

800
00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:47,000
Speaker 3: like sending my mom a screenshot of it.

801
00:35:47,120 --> 00:35:48,680
Speaker 2: We were just talking about it offline.

802
00:35:48,800 --> 00:35:50,520
Speaker 3: And then so my parents are at the football game

803
00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:52,360
Speaker 3: and I saw the girl coming, but I was like,

804
00:35:52,520 --> 00:35:53,920
Speaker 3: you know, I'm not gonna look at her.

805
00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:55,799
Speaker 2: She's not gonna look at me. My mom stands up.

806
00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:58,960
Speaker 3: I was like, girls, sit down, girls, sit down you

807
00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:00,560
Speaker 3: how did you remember?

808
00:36:00,600 --> 00:36:04,080
Speaker 2: That? Was her sit down? She was like, what are

809
00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:07,759
Speaker 2: we doing? I was like, please sit down, she is

810
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:13,200
Speaker 2: doing she is I love.

811
00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:15,359
Speaker 3: I was trying to calm her down. I'm like, you're

812
00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:19,680
Speaker 3: sixty something. They think you're a queen. Put your crown

813
00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:22,680
Speaker 3: on us. She set this aside right now, for sure,

814
00:36:23,120 --> 00:36:23,640
Speaker 3: we take.

815
00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:24,880
Speaker 2: That crown off in a minute.

816
00:36:25,480 --> 00:36:28,160
Speaker 3: She has told some stories, even like on my podcast

817
00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:31,360
Speaker 3: at event about like beings doing things. I'm just like,

818
00:36:31,360 --> 00:36:33,560
Speaker 3: can you please stop telling people about you stealing?

819
00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:36,400
Speaker 2: She's probably like, when you stop telling them you waitress

820
00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:37,160
Speaker 2: at the strip club?

821
00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:42,600
Speaker 3: Okay, I was like, she waitress at the strips?

822
00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:46,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's crazy. I was out here, I was.

823
00:36:49,680 --> 00:36:52,240
Speaker 1: I just told a strip club story the other day

824
00:36:52,560 --> 00:36:53,840
Speaker 1: when we used to go out to the club with

825
00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:55,799
Speaker 1: these guys and may give us all these ones? Yeah

826
00:36:55,880 --> 00:37:01,480
Speaker 1: I had so I'd be throwing right.

827
00:37:01,960 --> 00:37:06,600
Speaker 3: That's the cave of me, as long as they were

828
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:08,680
Speaker 3: prepared to spend it anyway, exactly.

829
00:37:09,040 --> 00:37:10,840
Speaker 1: I'm just like, I'm here, so let me get a

830
00:37:12,160 --> 00:37:13,520
Speaker 1: so I'm gonna take care of the girls too, but

831
00:37:13,719 --> 00:37:18,319
Speaker 1: I need That is hilarious your mom that I love that.

832
00:37:18,560 --> 00:37:22,120
Speaker 1: She's amazing and that's inspiring even for me. As I

833
00:37:22,120 --> 00:37:26,040
Speaker 1: did an episode called get to Know Me and we're

834
00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:29,319
Speaker 1: just put it all out there and just just with.

835
00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:30,320
Speaker 2: Family and friends.

836
00:37:30,360 --> 00:37:32,520
Speaker 1: It's what your story is inspired me is just open

837
00:37:32,640 --> 00:37:34,719
Speaker 1: up and even maybe me be the person to bring

838
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:37,239
Speaker 1: up the conversation how your mom just said it, you know,

839
00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:39,160
Speaker 1: So that's inspiring for me as well.

840
00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:39,879
Speaker 2: It's good.

841
00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:43,239
Speaker 3: It's good I have people are more willing to have

842
00:37:43,719 --> 00:37:46,239
Speaker 3: like we talk about family sweeping stuff underneath the road,

843
00:37:46,440 --> 00:37:48,680
Speaker 3: like this is the way that we do things. But

844
00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:51,040
Speaker 3: I have found that the person who doesn't mind like

845
00:37:51,040 --> 00:37:52,680
Speaker 3: going under the rug and be like, hey, can we

846
00:37:52,719 --> 00:37:53,359
Speaker 3: talk about this?

847
00:37:53,719 --> 00:37:55,880
Speaker 2: Like they don't mind talking about it.

848
00:37:55,880 --> 00:37:58,239
Speaker 3: It's just we have been so conditioned to think that

849
00:37:58,280 --> 00:38:01,439
Speaker 3: we don't talk about it that no one's courageous enough

850
00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:04,160
Speaker 3: to say, I have some questions, like I want to

851
00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:06,960
Speaker 3: know about this person. I want to know what is

852
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:07,840
Speaker 3: in them that could.

853
00:38:07,680 --> 00:38:08,359
Speaker 2: Be in me too.

854
00:38:08,560 --> 00:38:11,279
Speaker 3: Yes, And I found that, especially for people as they're

855
00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:13,960
Speaker 3: aging and I think they're wanting to leave a legacy,

856
00:38:13,960 --> 00:38:16,680
Speaker 3: they're wanting to leave an imprint, that they're more willing

857
00:38:16,760 --> 00:38:19,600
Speaker 3: to have conversations than we may give them credit for.

858
00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:22,359
Speaker 2: Oh, I love that you just bless me.

859
00:38:23,960 --> 00:38:26,359
Speaker 1: You talked about how your mother said that I wish

860
00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:29,400
Speaker 1: I could have been there more. With your busy schedule

861
00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:33,239
Speaker 1: and how you're all over the place, how do you

862
00:38:33,800 --> 00:38:36,799
Speaker 1: the God talks about the Sabbath, do you take time

863
00:38:36,840 --> 00:38:39,440
Speaker 1: and do you take time to like, actually, this is

864
00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:39,839
Speaker 1: my day?

865
00:38:41,520 --> 00:38:45,440
Speaker 3: No, Because well, like technically sure, like there may be

866
00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:49,120
Speaker 3: days where I'm not working, but because I have children,

867
00:38:49,400 --> 00:38:51,440
Speaker 3: even the days when I'm not working, there is an

868
00:38:51,480 --> 00:38:54,360
Speaker 3: element of working. So I have to be intentional about

869
00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:56,440
Speaker 3: taking time off. So I think tour ends for me

870
00:38:57,480 --> 00:39:01,560
Speaker 3: on a Tuesday, and I'm going home. But I was like,

871
00:39:01,560 --> 00:39:03,560
Speaker 3: I'm gonna ask the older kids to take the younger

872
00:39:03,600 --> 00:39:05,960
Speaker 3: kids to school, because if tour ends on Tuesday and

873
00:39:06,040 --> 00:39:07,840
Speaker 3: I got to be up at six on Wednesday to

874
00:39:07,880 --> 00:39:10,479
Speaker 3: take kids to school, it's like, yeah, tour is over,

875
00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:15,560
Speaker 3: but like I just got re enlisted. It's a whole

876
00:39:15,640 --> 00:39:19,040
Speaker 3: nother battlefield right here, really, And so I've had to

877
00:39:19,080 --> 00:39:22,839
Speaker 3: ask for help to piece my sabbage together. I used

878
00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:24,759
Speaker 3: to just wait for a day when I'd be able

879
00:39:24,760 --> 00:39:26,520
Speaker 3: to take it off, but now I've had to be

880
00:39:26,600 --> 00:39:30,160
Speaker 3: proactive and asking for help in advance. And let me

881
00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:34,360
Speaker 3: tell you, doing that it changed my relationship. It changed

882
00:39:34,400 --> 00:39:37,800
Speaker 3: the way that I show up in my world. Instead

883
00:39:37,800 --> 00:39:41,480
Speaker 3: of being the person who allowed people to believe that

884
00:39:41,520 --> 00:39:44,440
Speaker 3: I have limitless capacity, that I could get off on

885
00:39:44,560 --> 00:39:46,920
Speaker 3: tour and jump into the mom thing and not skip

886
00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:48,960
Speaker 3: a beat. I had to be willing to say I

887
00:39:48,960 --> 00:39:50,959
Speaker 3: actually do need to skip a beat because I can't

888
00:39:51,040 --> 00:39:54,080
Speaker 3: dance this fast. And I think, what part of the

889
00:39:54,120 --> 00:39:56,000
Speaker 3: issue with being like the strong friend or the person

890
00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:58,279
Speaker 3: who just has so much capacity is there is a

891
00:39:58,320 --> 00:40:02,440
Speaker 3: little pride, a little ego stroking that come frohmen, somebody's like,

892
00:40:02,480 --> 00:40:03,440
Speaker 3: I can never do that.

893
00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:08,200
Speaker 2: Did you be like? But I did? You know what

894
00:40:08,200 --> 00:40:08,480
Speaker 2: I mean?

895
00:40:08,719 --> 00:40:11,759
Speaker 3: Now, I'm probably depressed and I'm crossing binge eating and

896
00:40:11,840 --> 00:40:16,799
Speaker 3: I can't in my clothes. But and so I had

897
00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:21,160
Speaker 3: to learn to not seek out the accolades that come

898
00:40:21,200 --> 00:40:22,320
Speaker 3: with over exertion.

899
00:40:22,719 --> 00:40:26,120
Speaker 1: Yes, oh, because we live in this society where it's

900
00:40:26,160 --> 00:40:27,080
Speaker 1: like you sleep when you're dead.

901
00:40:27,440 --> 00:40:30,160
Speaker 2: No, I'm asleep after this. I don't believe that. I

902
00:40:30,160 --> 00:40:32,879
Speaker 2: don't believe he wants that from me. No, neither. I'm

903
00:40:32,880 --> 00:40:34,880
Speaker 2: a napper. I have to have I gotta get.

904
00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:38,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, So I'm learning to really ask for additional support

905
00:40:38,560 --> 00:40:42,080
Speaker 3: and not allow my ego to be fed by this

906
00:40:42,239 --> 00:40:45,200
Speaker 3: relentless you gotta keep going things so true, I have

907
00:40:45,280 --> 00:40:45,640
Speaker 3: to do that.

908
00:40:45,719 --> 00:40:48,320
Speaker 1: I'm not good at asking for help because I've always

909
00:40:48,320 --> 00:40:51,440
Speaker 1: had to do everything on my own and then finding

910
00:40:51,440 --> 00:40:53,800
Speaker 1: good help. You know, like I have like one or

911
00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:56,000
Speaker 1: two people I can call on and depend on, and

912
00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:57,160
Speaker 1: then everybody else I'll hire.

913
00:40:57,160 --> 00:40:59,759
Speaker 3: It's like, well, you know they're okay, so all right,

914
00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:01,520
Speaker 3: So this is I don't even know if it's gonna

915
00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:03,239
Speaker 3: make the podcast at this point. This is so good

916
00:41:03,280 --> 00:41:07,200
Speaker 3: one my message tonight, Like God changed my message, and

917
00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:09,680
Speaker 3: I think it's going to help you because it's about asking.

918
00:41:11,719 --> 00:41:13,880
Speaker 2: Already knew what I was struggling with. It's so ghetto.

919
00:41:14,320 --> 00:41:17,799
Speaker 3: But uh, you know, part of the reason why I

920
00:41:17,800 --> 00:41:20,200
Speaker 3: feel like it's like we can't find good help is

921
00:41:20,239 --> 00:41:22,960
Speaker 3: because I when I say I want good help, I

922
00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:25,799
Speaker 3: want someone who's going to like work through the flu,

923
00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:31,400
Speaker 3: like literally, I want someone who's going to deplete themselves

924
00:41:31,480 --> 00:41:32,960
Speaker 3: and overexert themselves just like me.

925
00:41:33,040 --> 00:41:35,160
Speaker 2: I need you, Michael Jordan Game six all.

926
00:41:35,040 --> 00:41:36,919
Speaker 3: The time because like we're in it and we don't

927
00:41:36,920 --> 00:41:43,319
Speaker 3: have time for sickness, like and that's toxic. I say

928
00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:45,520
Speaker 3: all of that to say, like I don't want you

929
00:41:45,560 --> 00:41:47,279
Speaker 3: to be lazy, like I want you to push it

930
00:41:47,320 --> 00:41:48,839
Speaker 3: a little bit, but like.

931
00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:54,759
Speaker 2: Maybe I should stop. No, I'm the same way, Like,

932
00:41:54,800 --> 00:41:56,440
Speaker 2: what do you mean you have a headache? What do

933
00:41:56,480 --> 00:41:58,480
Speaker 2: you mean you're sick? Like you can't come to work

934
00:41:58,520 --> 00:42:00,799
Speaker 2: because you have a headache? But did you die?

935
00:42:01,719 --> 00:42:04,040
Speaker 1: Are you you breathing?

936
00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:11,000
Speaker 2: Come on, I had a baby at fourteen. No headache,

937
00:42:11,640 --> 00:42:12,760
Speaker 2: And that's that's weird.

938
00:42:12,840 --> 00:42:17,400
Speaker 3: That's my trauma setting standards for people, and so you know,

939
00:42:17,440 --> 00:42:19,960
Speaker 3: I need to get people a tailand all. But I

940
00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:22,040
Speaker 3: will say that people I work the best with are

941
00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:24,920
Speaker 3: people who are like, yeah, we are a team of

942
00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:27,239
Speaker 3: ten people, but if all ten of them fall off,

943
00:42:27,239 --> 00:42:29,120
Speaker 3: me and you could do all of it and it's

944
00:42:29,160 --> 00:42:29,880
Speaker 3: not true.

945
00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:32,319
Speaker 2: But they make me feel good.

946
00:42:32,680 --> 00:42:35,880
Speaker 3: It's like I like you, right, I like I like you.

947
00:42:35,880 --> 00:42:39,840
Speaker 2: You sick like me? We got the safe disease.

948
00:42:40,120 --> 00:42:44,240
Speaker 1: Literally, you say that in One of your toxic traits.

949
00:42:43,920 --> 00:42:45,560
Speaker 2: Is believe that you can do any anything.

950
00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:48,120
Speaker 1: Literally, somebody asked me that I'm like I can do.

951
00:42:48,080 --> 00:42:50,960
Speaker 3: Anything I could know, Like I'm not even joking and

952
00:42:51,040 --> 00:42:52,439
Speaker 3: like this is not even a brad.

953
00:42:52,800 --> 00:42:54,319
Speaker 2: I can do anything.

954
00:42:54,920 --> 00:42:58,520
Speaker 3: Like if God, if God can, if someone else can

955
00:42:58,560 --> 00:42:59,880
Speaker 3: do what I can do, it.

956
00:42:59,840 --> 00:43:04,080
Speaker 1: I think the same way here. I'm serious like anything now.

957
00:43:04,200 --> 00:43:08,880
Speaker 3: I did also say in that same paragraph that, like

958
00:43:09,280 --> 00:43:10,279
Speaker 3: I could build.

959
00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:13,239
Speaker 2: A house, it's gonna rain inside the house.

960
00:43:13,239 --> 00:43:15,200
Speaker 3: Like I'm not saying I can do anything every that

961
00:43:15,280 --> 00:43:17,920
Speaker 3: I can do everything well right exactly, but if you

962
00:43:17,920 --> 00:43:19,359
Speaker 3: give me a few shots at it, I could get

963
00:43:19,440 --> 00:43:21,280
Speaker 3: to well, yeah exactly.

964
00:43:21,400 --> 00:43:22,239
Speaker 2: I'm the same way.

965
00:43:22,360 --> 00:43:24,680
Speaker 1: I just had my live show and I taught myself

966
00:43:24,719 --> 00:43:26,920
Speaker 1: how to play a piano period Like I was like,

967
00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:29,279
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna go buy a piano on YouTube and

968
00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:29,640
Speaker 1: learn this.

969
00:43:29,800 --> 00:43:31,720
Speaker 2: I don't see anything wrong with it.

970
00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:33,920
Speaker 3: Is like I don't know if it's my like I

971
00:43:33,920 --> 00:43:36,000
Speaker 3: don't know if it's my husband's favorite thing about me.

972
00:43:39,120 --> 00:43:42,240
Speaker 2: I don't know. I think about me because I'd.

973
00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:44,880
Speaker 3: Be like, babe, like the handyman can't come, and the

974
00:43:44,960 --> 00:43:47,160
Speaker 3: dresser just got delivered and he.

975
00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:49,000
Speaker 2: Was like, okay, just schedule for next week. I was like,

976
00:43:49,120 --> 00:43:51,120
Speaker 2: I just got the tool. Can he gets home.

977
00:43:51,160 --> 00:43:53,879
Speaker 3: It's the dresser is going to be put to now.

978
00:43:53,920 --> 00:44:00,440
Speaker 3: The drawer is going to need a little and is

979
00:44:00,520 --> 00:44:04,680
Speaker 3: sick that cannot be helpy.

980
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:06,759
Speaker 2: I know it can't. He be like, why didn't you

981
00:44:06,800 --> 00:44:07,160
Speaker 2: just love me?

982
00:44:07,560 --> 00:44:10,239
Speaker 3: I have not learned my lesson, like if you put

983
00:44:10,320 --> 00:44:13,680
Speaker 3: my back against the wall right now, if the plane

984
00:44:13,760 --> 00:44:14,960
Speaker 3: is going down, I can fly it.

985
00:44:15,360 --> 00:44:19,480
Speaker 2: We're gonna put But I don't believe God put me

986
00:44:19,520 --> 00:44:22,600
Speaker 2: in this situation. Go out like this. I watched flight

987
00:44:22,640 --> 00:44:25,319
Speaker 2: with Denzel Washington. He did it high. I can do

988
00:44:25,360 --> 00:44:28,160
Speaker 2: it with the Holy go Amen. Come on now, period.

989
00:44:30,080 --> 00:44:32,000
Speaker 2: You are my kind of girl. I'm telling you.

990
00:44:32,239 --> 00:44:34,719
Speaker 1: I call myself a handywoman. My dad built every house

991
00:44:34,760 --> 00:44:37,240
Speaker 1: we ever lived in. I grew up on construction sites.

992
00:44:38,080 --> 00:44:40,759
Speaker 1: I have a toolbox. Most I have more than most

993
00:44:40,840 --> 00:44:42,360
Speaker 1: men having their house at my age.

994
00:44:42,160 --> 00:44:44,279
Speaker 2: For sure, Like you got I got that. I can

995
00:44:44,320 --> 00:44:45,560
Speaker 2: do it. They're like you fixed it your.

996
00:44:45,440 --> 00:44:47,600
Speaker 3: Something like yeah that was when. So when I got married,

997
00:44:47,640 --> 00:44:49,360
Speaker 3: I was a single mother with two children. I have

998
00:44:49,480 --> 00:44:52,120
Speaker 3: my own house. So there were just certain things that

999
00:44:52,200 --> 00:44:54,919
Speaker 3: like I was not used to asking like a man

1000
00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:56,920
Speaker 3: in the house to do and my husband like, why

1001
00:44:56,920 --> 00:44:58,120
Speaker 3: didn't you ask me to do that? I was like,

1002
00:44:58,480 --> 00:45:00,680
Speaker 3: I will ask when I need, but I didn't think

1003
00:45:00,719 --> 00:45:02,600
Speaker 3: I needed. So now I'm trying to be more. I'm

1004
00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:05,880
Speaker 3: like I'm entering intowhere in my princess era, you know

1005
00:45:05,960 --> 00:45:07,160
Speaker 3: where I'm asking for help.

1006
00:45:07,360 --> 00:45:08,360
Speaker 2: We were traveling somewhere.

1007
00:45:08,360 --> 00:45:10,480
Speaker 3: We got home, there's this big box that got delivered

1008
00:45:10,520 --> 00:45:13,640
Speaker 3: on a crate. Staple shut, screwed shut, and I like

1009
00:45:13,719 --> 00:45:15,720
Speaker 3: got the hammer and he was like, what are you doing?

1010
00:45:16,200 --> 00:45:18,719
Speaker 3: What are you You just got off the plane. I

1011
00:45:18,719 --> 00:45:21,520
Speaker 3: was like, I want to see what's in the Yes.

1012
00:45:21,520 --> 00:45:24,120
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, we're the same person. That's me.

1013
00:45:24,239 --> 00:45:27,200
Speaker 1: I would like straight my back trying to get it's fine.

1014
00:45:27,239 --> 00:45:29,560
Speaker 1: I would go to craigon barrel outlet and get a

1015
00:45:29,560 --> 00:45:30,200
Speaker 1: whole chair.

1016
00:45:30,280 --> 00:45:32,359
Speaker 3: Like because the other thing. I will lift the whole

1017
00:45:32,400 --> 00:45:34,920
Speaker 3: chair by I want to. I want things to be

1018
00:45:35,040 --> 00:45:36,960
Speaker 3: the way that I want them to be. Yes, and

1019
00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:38,080
Speaker 3: I don't want to wait.

1020
00:45:38,160 --> 00:45:42,040
Speaker 2: It now, instant gratification. I need it now. I mean it, Sarah,

1021
00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:44,840
Speaker 2: I'm saying, I guess that is my trade.

1022
00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:48,320
Speaker 3: It's toxic, Oh my goodness, because when I say back sprung,

1023
00:45:50,680 --> 00:45:53,640
Speaker 3: when I say back out, and you would think that

1024
00:45:53,640 --> 00:45:55,120
Speaker 3: it would keep you from doing it. But as soon

1025
00:45:55,160 --> 00:45:57,000
Speaker 3: as that back act like she's gonna be all right

1026
00:45:57,120 --> 00:46:00,480
Speaker 3: back to it, we're back at it. It can't be healthy.

1027
00:46:00,600 --> 00:46:01,400
Speaker 3: I know it can't.

1028
00:46:01,480 --> 00:46:03,919
Speaker 2: It is not. I'm a work in progress me too, girl.

1029
00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:04,759
Speaker 2: We're gonna work on it.

1030
00:46:05,080 --> 00:46:09,640
Speaker 1: Maybe maybe because it's been for years doing that. So

1031
00:46:10,160 --> 00:46:11,279
Speaker 1: that's a hard habit to break.

1032
00:46:11,360 --> 00:46:15,319
Speaker 2: It is, and I don't know. It's something that just

1033
00:46:15,360 --> 00:46:16,800
Speaker 2: it feels good, which is done.

1034
00:46:16,880 --> 00:46:20,759
Speaker 3: Feeling filling is I do think that so much of

1035
00:46:20,800 --> 00:46:23,560
Speaker 3: my life is out of my control. That like to

1036
00:46:23,600 --> 00:46:26,800
Speaker 3: be able to do what's in my control. That feels

1037
00:46:26,840 --> 00:46:27,279
Speaker 3: good to me.

1038
00:46:27,880 --> 00:46:28,319
Speaker 2: I like that.

1039
00:46:28,560 --> 00:46:30,319
Speaker 3: Like there's so much that I'm not gonna get, Like

1040
00:46:30,400 --> 00:46:32,520
Speaker 3: so much of this is going faster than I can

1041
00:46:32,600 --> 00:46:35,160
Speaker 3: keep up with. I don't know what's gonna happen. I'm

1042
00:46:35,160 --> 00:46:37,480
Speaker 3: so vulnerable, I'm so exposed to The least I can

1043
00:46:37,520 --> 00:46:38,840
Speaker 3: do is pick.

1044
00:46:38,719 --> 00:46:43,560
Speaker 2: This chair up and put it in the corner. Yes,

1045
00:46:43,840 --> 00:46:46,279
Speaker 2: that's the least I can do. That's real. I love it.

1046
00:46:46,600 --> 00:46:49,560
Speaker 2: I love that for you and us, Oh my goodness.

1047
00:46:50,960 --> 00:46:53,400
Speaker 1: So I'll be remiss if I didn't talk about your

1048
00:46:53,480 --> 00:46:57,719
Speaker 1: husband the past the trade Roberts. You are a powerhouse

1049
00:46:57,760 --> 00:46:59,840
Speaker 1: and he is a powerhouse as well. So how do

1050
00:47:00,040 --> 00:47:04,080
Speaker 1: two powerhouses come together and also keep your individualism and

1051
00:47:04,120 --> 00:47:04,960
Speaker 1: support each other?

1052
00:47:05,080 --> 00:47:07,720
Speaker 2: How does that work? We have a lot of respect

1053
00:47:07,800 --> 00:47:09,399
Speaker 2: for one another. I'll see that.

1054
00:47:09,440 --> 00:47:11,520
Speaker 3: We have a lot of respect for one another. It's

1055
00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:15,279
Speaker 3: not a competition. I am fascinated by the gift of

1056
00:47:15,280 --> 00:47:17,839
Speaker 3: God in his life in a way that I can't

1057
00:47:17,840 --> 00:47:20,200
Speaker 3: even be jealous of. Like, he's so dope to me

1058
00:47:20,960 --> 00:47:22,960
Speaker 3: that I'm like, I can't even be jealous. I think

1059
00:47:22,960 --> 00:47:24,520
Speaker 3: he can be jealous of something that you think is

1060
00:47:24,560 --> 00:47:28,520
Speaker 3: within reach. It's so out of reach to me. I

1061
00:47:28,520 --> 00:47:30,160
Speaker 3: don't even know how you think like that. I don't

1062
00:47:30,239 --> 00:47:31,799
Speaker 3: know how you do what you do the way that

1063
00:47:31,880 --> 00:47:35,600
Speaker 3: you do. So all I can do is respect it

1064
00:47:35,640 --> 00:47:37,839
Speaker 3: and love it and be grateful that I'm on your

1065
00:47:37,880 --> 00:47:40,480
Speaker 3: squad because I would hate to be your opposition period.

1066
00:47:40,640 --> 00:47:43,280
Speaker 2: Do you understand?

1067
00:47:43,360 --> 00:47:45,799
Speaker 3: But it took, like I said, like that part about me.

1068
00:47:45,880 --> 00:47:49,799
Speaker 3: I was a single mother. I'd accomplished enough by myself

1069
00:47:49,840 --> 00:47:52,040
Speaker 3: to make me feel like I could live on my own,

1070
00:47:52,719 --> 00:47:57,560
Speaker 3: and so welcoming in his perspective and his covering and

1071
00:47:57,600 --> 00:48:01,120
Speaker 3: seeing the value in it without being in timidated by it.

1072
00:48:01,440 --> 00:48:02,799
Speaker 2: Yes, what's hard for.

1073
00:48:02,920 --> 00:48:06,080
Speaker 3: Me in the beginning stages of our life because I

1074
00:48:06,120 --> 00:48:11,400
Speaker 3: thought that his perspective made mine invalid, not broader.

1075
00:48:11,960 --> 00:48:17,480
Speaker 1: Oh that's good, Oh my goodness, I can imagine that. Yeah, yeah,

1076
00:48:17,719 --> 00:48:20,200
Speaker 1: I remember. It was twenty twenty when I first like

1077
00:48:20,320 --> 00:48:22,759
Speaker 1: really caught onto one church, La and I would watch

1078
00:48:22,800 --> 00:48:25,000
Speaker 1: you guys online, and then every time I would visit

1079
00:48:25,040 --> 00:48:26,560
Speaker 1: a lot of tengs, I would come to church and

1080
00:48:26,600 --> 00:48:28,239
Speaker 1: I remember you said, if you're facing the pool pit,

1081
00:48:28,280 --> 00:48:28,880
Speaker 1: you would sit on the.

1082
00:48:28,920 --> 00:48:29,759
Speaker 2: Left side in the front.

1083
00:48:29,840 --> 00:48:33,600
Speaker 1: I remember that, and I just remember just seeing like

1084
00:48:33,840 --> 00:48:35,799
Speaker 1: just kept growing and growing and growing. And then before

1085
00:48:35,840 --> 00:48:38,000
Speaker 1: I know, you guys are in Denver and then Dallas.

1086
00:48:38,040 --> 00:48:40,439
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my goodness, but just the way

1087
00:48:40,480 --> 00:48:43,160
Speaker 1: he delivers the message. And then you come up and

1088
00:48:43,200 --> 00:48:45,920
Speaker 1: I'm like, wait a minute, these two both are doing it.

1089
00:48:46,040 --> 00:48:48,160
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, and everybody gets it. You know,

1090
00:48:48,200 --> 00:48:50,360
Speaker 1: sometimes people preach over your head. You guys are reaching

1091
00:48:50,360 --> 00:48:52,640
Speaker 1: people at the level that they are in a way

1092
00:48:52,640 --> 00:48:56,439
Speaker 1: that we can understand it. We see ourselves, and it

1093
00:48:56,480 --> 00:48:58,120
Speaker 1: inspires us to just be better people.

1094
00:48:58,360 --> 00:49:02,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, that means a lot to me. I wasn't in ministry.

1095
00:49:02,840 --> 00:49:05,960
Speaker 3: I wasn't in ministry when I met him. I was blogging,

1096
00:49:06,200 --> 00:49:08,880
Speaker 3: I was telling my little story, but I wasn't preaching.

1097
00:49:09,000 --> 00:49:11,440
Speaker 3: I wasn't praying out loud. So I was like, invite

1098
00:49:11,480 --> 00:49:15,200
Speaker 3: me to be on a panel. I'll offer some insights

1099
00:49:15,680 --> 00:49:19,759
Speaker 3: as a collective. So you know that solodolo thing is

1100
00:49:19,800 --> 00:49:22,759
Speaker 3: not me and his church was the first church where

1101
00:49:22,760 --> 00:49:25,200
Speaker 3: he was like, listen, if there is any place where

1102
00:49:25,200 --> 00:49:27,320
Speaker 3: you could come and tell your story at a church,

1103
00:49:27,560 --> 00:49:29,080
Speaker 3: like it will be my church.

1104
00:49:29,160 --> 00:49:30,799
Speaker 2: Like You'll be fine. Wow.

1105
00:49:30,920 --> 00:49:32,600
Speaker 3: And so he asked me to come speak on a

1106
00:49:32,640 --> 00:49:34,400
Speaker 3: Sunday in twenty fourteen.

1107
00:49:34,440 --> 00:49:37,759
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, I don't do Sundays. Come me on.

1108
00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:42,759
Speaker 3: Wednesday, baby, Friday night, Friday night, girls night. But Sundays

1109
00:49:42,760 --> 00:49:46,279
Speaker 3: that's like where the real people are. And so One

1110
00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:48,040
Speaker 3: was very much of the place where I feel like

1111
00:49:48,080 --> 00:49:51,400
Speaker 3: I found my unique voice in ministry. And I just

1112
00:49:51,440 --> 00:49:53,680
Speaker 3: felt like, Okay, well One will just be the place

1113
00:49:53,719 --> 00:49:56,719
Speaker 3: where I do ministry because they get me, they understand me.

1114
00:49:57,280 --> 00:50:00,759
Speaker 3: And so I attribute a lot of my spiritual development

1115
00:50:01,200 --> 00:50:04,719
Speaker 3: to his anointing and my voice being cultivated in the

1116
00:50:04,840 --> 00:50:08,840
Speaker 3: spaces that he created. And then as I became more confident,

1117
00:50:08,960 --> 00:50:11,600
Speaker 3: I think as the gift began to grow and attract

1118
00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:15,400
Speaker 3: other people and other spaces that He's been a covering

1119
00:50:15,440 --> 00:50:15,719
Speaker 3: for me.

1120
00:50:15,800 --> 00:50:18,239
Speaker 2: It's just like just do you everywhere you go?

1121
00:50:18,719 --> 00:50:22,279
Speaker 1: Oh, that's good, and that's what That's important to have

1122
00:50:22,320 --> 00:50:25,040
Speaker 1: that type of support as a woman, just in every

1123
00:50:25,040 --> 00:50:27,200
Speaker 1: woman needs that just type of support was like, baby,

1124
00:50:27,200 --> 00:50:27,920
Speaker 1: do you.

1125
00:50:27,719 --> 00:50:29,920
Speaker 2: Everywhere you go? Yeah? And it's funny.

1126
00:50:29,960 --> 00:50:31,799
Speaker 3: So like most of the time when we're in LA,

1127
00:50:31,880 --> 00:50:34,560
Speaker 3: people are like, oh, you're a PT's wife, And then

1128
00:50:34,560 --> 00:50:37,360
Speaker 3: if he goes somewhere, They're like, oh, you're s Jr's husband,

1129
00:50:37,560 --> 00:50:41,440
Speaker 3: just like depending on where we are, because like when

1130
00:50:41,480 --> 00:50:46,000
Speaker 3: I tell you, he is Hollywood, like on absolute lot,

1131
00:50:46,200 --> 00:50:48,960
Speaker 3: like New York, Atlanta, Like we do not go anywhere

1132
00:50:48,960 --> 00:50:50,800
Speaker 3: without people being like PTT.

1133
00:50:55,400 --> 00:50:57,239
Speaker 2: So like, for me, it's cool because.

1134
00:50:57,000 --> 00:50:59,239
Speaker 3: I get to see my husband in his lane, in

1135
00:50:59,280 --> 00:51:02,720
Speaker 3: his purpose with his unique identity. I'm in my lane

1136
00:51:02,760 --> 00:51:05,120
Speaker 3: and my purpose with my unique identity, and then when

1137
00:51:05,160 --> 00:51:07,400
Speaker 3: we get to come together, it's amazing. But what's better

1138
00:51:07,400 --> 00:51:09,879
Speaker 3: than all of that is like when we're doing none

1139
00:51:09,960 --> 00:51:11,479
Speaker 3: of those things and.

1140
00:51:11,400 --> 00:51:11,960
Speaker 2: We're at home.

1141
00:51:12,200 --> 00:51:14,400
Speaker 3: I took my wig off the other day. I was

1142
00:51:14,719 --> 00:51:16,359
Speaker 3: sorry I took my wig off.

1143
00:51:16,400 --> 00:51:16,960
Speaker 2: I was at home.

1144
00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:18,960
Speaker 3: I was scratching my hand and the bathroom it was

1145
00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:28,160
Speaker 3: plates coming out of my grab your dignity, And I

1146
00:51:28,360 --> 00:51:30,960
Speaker 3: was dying laughing because he was so right, because I

1147
00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:34,040
Speaker 3: had just basically turned into I went from this to

1148
00:51:34,239 --> 00:51:37,320
Speaker 3: like somebody else, and we were cracking up laughing, because

1149
00:51:37,800 --> 00:51:40,440
Speaker 3: as valuable as those other things are that change the

1150
00:51:40,440 --> 00:51:43,120
Speaker 3: world and touch people, what means the most to us

1151
00:51:43,200 --> 00:51:45,800
Speaker 3: are those moments where we're like clowning on each.

1152
00:51:45,640 --> 00:51:49,759
Speaker 1: Other and it can be Yeah, love, that's beautiful. The

1153
00:51:49,760 --> 00:51:50,880
Speaker 1: best part of the day of taking.

1154
00:51:50,680 --> 00:51:56,320
Speaker 2: The wig off, do you it is the best a

1155
00:51:56,320 --> 00:51:58,399
Speaker 2: little bit to it. It's time for me to take

1156
00:51:58,440 --> 00:52:05,839
Speaker 2: these breaks out. It's that is hilarious. I love that though.

1157
00:52:05,880 --> 00:52:08,400
Speaker 2: I love that for both of you. That is beautiful.

1158
00:52:08,600 --> 00:52:11,239
Speaker 3: Yes, it's funny. My fourteen year old daughter like she

1159
00:52:12,040 --> 00:52:14,160
Speaker 3: he's been in her life basically all of her life

1160
00:52:14,200 --> 00:52:16,560
Speaker 3: at this point, and so at night time she's like

1161
00:52:16,640 --> 00:52:18,600
Speaker 3: her favorite part of the day of seeing us Like

1162
00:52:18,680 --> 00:52:20,759
Speaker 3: he had I had usually have tea at night. He

1163
00:52:20,880 --> 00:52:23,359
Speaker 3: usually has like peanuts and raisins in his neck and

1164
00:52:23,400 --> 00:52:25,840
Speaker 3: we're like gossiping about the other kids, like well you

1165
00:52:25,880 --> 00:52:33,480
Speaker 3: know that one, and Kenzy's like, will truth be told?

1166
00:52:33,520 --> 00:52:37,319
Speaker 2: What you say? Please tell me people, and sit up

1167
00:52:37,360 --> 00:52:40,239
Speaker 2: in the room with us talking about her siblings. Ken

1168
00:52:40,520 --> 00:52:41,560
Speaker 2: you are really too much.

1169
00:52:41,600 --> 00:52:43,839
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, I love I just love your whole

1170
00:52:43,840 --> 00:52:44,560
Speaker 1: family dynamic.

1171
00:52:44,600 --> 00:52:45,440
Speaker 2: It's just beautiful.

1172
00:52:45,560 --> 00:52:50,319
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm really grateful for it feels very restorative. To

1173
00:52:50,440 --> 00:52:55,359
Speaker 3: create an environment for my family that I think would

1174
00:52:55,360 --> 00:53:00,160
Speaker 3: have been really great for me. But to experience, say

1175
00:53:00,239 --> 00:53:02,640
Speaker 3: through them and to be a part of it, it's

1176
00:53:02,640 --> 00:53:05,440
Speaker 3: the only thing that matters to you. So even when

1177
00:53:05,480 --> 00:53:07,279
Speaker 3: you're like you're always on the go, how do you

1178
00:53:07,360 --> 00:53:09,520
Speaker 3: balance it? I'm really not always on the go. I

1179
00:53:09,560 --> 00:53:12,319
Speaker 3: say no to a lot of stuff, so that when

1180
00:53:12,360 --> 00:53:14,880
Speaker 3: I say yes to stuff like this where I'm gone

1181
00:53:14,920 --> 00:53:17,640
Speaker 3: for seven days, back for two days, then gone again,

1182
00:53:18,200 --> 00:53:20,840
Speaker 3: that I haven't been gone so much that I feel

1183
00:53:20,920 --> 00:53:23,640
Speaker 3: a whole lot of guilt about being gone on these trips.

1184
00:53:23,680 --> 00:53:25,440
Speaker 3: I say no to wait a lot of stuff.

1185
00:53:25,520 --> 00:53:28,799
Speaker 2: Wow, that's good for you. Yeah, that's my favorite word. No,

1186
00:53:29,040 --> 00:53:30,840
Speaker 2: it's a good word. I love it.

1187
00:53:30,960 --> 00:53:33,720
Speaker 1: I love it. So by the time this episode airs,

1188
00:53:33,719 --> 00:53:36,120
Speaker 1: you have been finished with your Seven City book tour.

1189
00:53:36,800 --> 00:53:39,640
Speaker 1: What are some things that Sarah is gonna nurture when

1190
00:53:39,680 --> 00:53:42,000
Speaker 1: she is done and gets.

1191
00:53:41,760 --> 00:53:48,479
Speaker 2: Off the road. My age, I'm gonna get she said,

1192
00:53:48,719 --> 00:53:49,359
Speaker 2: my edge.

1193
00:53:50,480 --> 00:53:57,160
Speaker 3: I'm gonna let these edges breathe. I'm gonna nurture my joy. Yeah,

1194
00:53:58,239 --> 00:54:04,280
Speaker 3: I am going to nurture I think my reflection because

1195
00:54:04,280 --> 00:54:07,120
Speaker 3: this season hasn't allowed for a lot of reflection because

1196
00:54:07,160 --> 00:54:10,600
Speaker 3: I'm into one thing and into the next. But I

1197
00:54:10,680 --> 00:54:14,400
Speaker 3: want to sit back and think about all of the

1198
00:54:14,400 --> 00:54:17,720
Speaker 3: ways God showed up for me throughout this tour, throughout

1199
00:54:17,719 --> 00:54:20,640
Speaker 3: this book, writing process, throughout the whole because God gave

1200
00:54:20,680 --> 00:54:24,479
Speaker 3: me this concept with this book that it made sense

1201
00:54:24,480 --> 00:54:25,719
Speaker 3: to me. But I'm like, I don't know if I

1202
00:54:25,760 --> 00:54:28,600
Speaker 3: can put it into language, you know, because i think

1203
00:54:28,680 --> 00:54:30,640
Speaker 3: when people hear they're title, they're like, power moves, you

1204
00:54:30,680 --> 00:54:31,960
Speaker 3: gonna show me how to do something.

1205
00:54:32,320 --> 00:54:34,040
Speaker 2: And it's really about the fluidity of.

1206
00:54:34,040 --> 00:54:37,440
Speaker 3: Power and how I can be powerful as a speaker

1207
00:54:37,640 --> 00:54:40,400
Speaker 3: and powerful as a mother if I'm in the flow

1208
00:54:40,600 --> 00:54:45,200
Speaker 3: of God's power that everything I do is powerful. But

1209
00:54:45,320 --> 00:54:47,799
Speaker 3: I didn't. I kept second guessing whether or not I

1210
00:54:47,920 --> 00:54:50,359
Speaker 3: made it make sense and to be able to hear

1211
00:54:52,840 --> 00:54:55,719
Speaker 3: I was I was actually getting had a health scare

1212
00:54:55,760 --> 00:54:58,600
Speaker 3: in December, and I'm like in the hospital, it's fresh

1213
00:54:58,600 --> 00:55:00,920
Speaker 3: out of anesthesia with my main script reading through this

1214
00:55:00,960 --> 00:55:02,799
Speaker 3: book because I'm just like, it has to make sense,

1215
00:55:02,840 --> 00:55:05,200
Speaker 3: it has to make sense, and for people to say

1216
00:55:05,200 --> 00:55:06,000
Speaker 3: that it makes.

1217
00:55:05,840 --> 00:55:06,960
Speaker 2: Sense, it does no.

1218
00:55:07,040 --> 00:55:09,680
Speaker 1: You should see my iPad because like I literally was

1219
00:55:09,800 --> 00:55:12,279
Speaker 1: like it's purple, like it's so many highlights.

1220
00:55:12,360 --> 00:55:14,360
Speaker 2: It's crazy that means so much to me.

1221
00:55:14,760 --> 00:55:17,479
Speaker 3: And then like you know, I've done these interviews and

1222
00:55:17,880 --> 00:55:20,480
Speaker 3: I don't like thinking on my speed, and I've had

1223
00:55:20,520 --> 00:55:22,759
Speaker 3: to speak to people and like God has given me

1224
00:55:22,960 --> 00:55:25,840
Speaker 3: language and words. When I did the Records Club, Jason

1225
00:55:25,840 --> 00:55:27,680
Speaker 3: put me in a white button down, and I was like,

1226
00:55:27,719 --> 00:55:29,719
Speaker 3: I can't wear a white button down because I sweat

1227
00:55:29,800 --> 00:55:32,120
Speaker 3: like a man, like a full I build things like

1228
00:55:32,160 --> 00:55:35,520
Speaker 3: a man. I swet like and I was like, no,

1229
00:55:35,600 --> 00:55:38,320
Speaker 3: because I'm gonna be porn. So I had so much peace.

1230
00:55:38,840 --> 00:55:41,279
Speaker 3: I was so grounded, like I didn't sweat through my

1231
00:55:41,400 --> 00:55:43,359
Speaker 3: clothes like little things that are.

1232
00:55:43,320 --> 00:55:45,920
Speaker 2: Dumb to most people. Yeah, I am.

1233
00:55:46,000 --> 00:55:47,799
Speaker 3: So I just want to sit back and think I've

1234
00:55:47,800 --> 00:55:51,000
Speaker 3: received so much love in these cities. Somebody in Houston

1235
00:55:51,040 --> 00:55:53,960
Speaker 3: told me I had made the decision to commit suicide,

1236
00:55:54,480 --> 00:55:57,120
Speaker 3: and I came with my eleven year old daughter because

1237
00:55:57,160 --> 00:55:59,600
Speaker 3: I wanted that to be one of our last experiences.

1238
00:56:00,080 --> 00:56:01,719
Speaker 2: She was like, I decided to live.

1239
00:56:01,840 --> 00:56:04,360
Speaker 3: Something happened in that room where I know I God's

1240
00:56:04,360 --> 00:56:06,959
Speaker 3: got something for me, that there's power in me, more

1241
00:56:07,000 --> 00:56:10,040
Speaker 3: power than this depression. And so just like to not

1242
00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:13,240
Speaker 3: just let that be something that goes by and Houston

1243
00:56:13,360 --> 00:56:16,000
Speaker 3: was after the Houston date, I wanted to cancel the

1244
00:56:16,040 --> 00:56:16,479
Speaker 3: whole tour.

1245
00:56:16,719 --> 00:56:18,880
Speaker 2: Really, Oh yeah, you want to go to Atlanta.

1246
00:56:18,960 --> 00:56:22,239
Speaker 3: I was like, Atlanta, don't want me to come. I

1247
00:56:22,400 --> 00:56:25,719
Speaker 3: was so was it just like, well, I've toured before.

1248
00:56:25,719 --> 00:56:28,439
Speaker 3: I usually have a worship team. Doctor Nita Phillips comes

1249
00:56:28,440 --> 00:56:30,759
Speaker 3: on the road with me sometimes, and so there's all

1250
00:56:30,760 --> 00:56:33,200
Speaker 3: of these different elements. Well, I'm like, this is a

1251
00:56:33,200 --> 00:56:35,359
Speaker 3: book tour. Most of the time I'm on a book tour,

1252
00:56:35,440 --> 00:56:38,160
Speaker 3: someone's being interviewed about their book. But I was like,

1253
00:56:38,239 --> 00:56:39,719
Speaker 3: but no one knows this book better than me, and

1254
00:56:39,719 --> 00:56:42,080
Speaker 3: I didn't know if the book let.

1255
00:56:41,960 --> 00:56:42,120
Speaker 1: Me do.

1256
00:56:44,760 --> 00:56:49,280
Speaker 2: Her exactly weird. It's weird, it's weird.

1257
00:56:49,640 --> 00:56:51,480
Speaker 3: So I was like, I'm going to create this evening

1258
00:56:51,640 --> 00:56:53,840
Speaker 3: that is going to allow me to set a foundation

1259
00:56:53,960 --> 00:56:56,680
Speaker 3: for people to read the book. There is no worship.

1260
00:56:56,840 --> 00:56:58,919
Speaker 3: I'm gonna like, I'm going to engage with them. I'm

1261
00:56:58,920 --> 00:57:01,120
Speaker 3: going to interview people who I feel like embody the

1262
00:57:01,239 --> 00:57:03,440
Speaker 3: message of the book, and then I'm going to speak.

1263
00:57:03,480 --> 00:57:05,400
Speaker 3: But it's so different than anything that's been done to

1264
00:57:05,520 --> 00:57:07,800
Speaker 3: After Houston, I was like, it's too new, it's too different.

1265
00:57:07,800 --> 00:57:09,320
Speaker 2: It doesn't make sense. I'm finished.

1266
00:57:09,400 --> 00:57:13,960
Speaker 3: Wow, but power was moving even in my insecurity and uncertainty.

1267
00:57:14,600 --> 00:57:18,400
Speaker 3: So I just I want to find all of the

1268
00:57:18,400 --> 00:57:21,240
Speaker 3: ways that power moved in this season and collect them

1269
00:57:21,680 --> 00:57:22,800
Speaker 3: for whatever's next.

1270
00:57:22,960 --> 00:57:26,640
Speaker 2: Yes, I love that, Sarah. Hey, thank you.

1271
00:57:27,640 --> 00:57:31,480
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, ladies and gentlemen, Sarah Jakes Roberts, this

1272
00:57:31,560 --> 00:57:38,320
Speaker 1: has been amazing. Thank you, no, thank you. We are

1273
00:57:38,360 --> 00:57:40,280
Speaker 1: going to do my favorite part of the show.

1274
00:57:40,360 --> 00:57:40,920
Speaker 2: This is the end.

1275
00:57:40,960 --> 00:57:44,320
Speaker 1: It's called Positive Outcomes, and this is where our listeners

1276
00:57:44,520 --> 00:57:45,240
Speaker 1: write into.

1277
00:57:45,160 --> 00:57:48,400
Speaker 2: Us and we give them advice. Okay, so this one says, Hey, Crystal.

1278
00:57:48,600 --> 00:57:50,320
Speaker 1: First, I want to say thank you so much for

1279
00:57:50,360 --> 00:57:53,120
Speaker 1: being obedient to the voice of God. Your podcast has

1280
00:57:53,120 --> 00:57:55,960
Speaker 1: made me feel so many emotions in every season. Thank

1281
00:57:56,000 --> 00:57:59,960
Speaker 1: you for letting me laugh, cry, sing, shout, dance, evaluate life,

1282
00:58:00,160 --> 00:58:03,240
Speaker 1: get to the root, get closer with God, and just overall,

1283
00:58:03,360 --> 00:58:06,280
Speaker 1: learn to be and embrace everything about me. I am

1284
00:58:06,320 --> 00:58:09,360
Speaker 1: a thirty three year old, single, single mother of three,

1285
00:58:09,840 --> 00:58:12,560
Speaker 1: and I feel like I'm stuck where I currently am.

1286
00:58:12,960 --> 00:58:15,440
Speaker 1: I know God has given me dreams and visions, but

1287
00:58:15,480 --> 00:58:22,480
Speaker 1: I'm stuck on how to activate them. There have been

1288
00:58:22,520 --> 00:58:25,680
Speaker 1: times where I was very adamant on my path what

1289
00:58:25,760 --> 00:58:28,360
Speaker 1: I wanted to do and win. But when the time

1290
00:58:28,440 --> 00:58:31,400
Speaker 1: came forward to come forth, I became afraid. How do

1291
00:58:31,440 --> 00:58:33,320
Speaker 1: you listen to the voice of God when it seems

1292
00:58:33,360 --> 00:58:36,160
Speaker 1: as if everyone's voice is louder? How do you get

1293
00:58:36,200 --> 00:58:39,040
Speaker 1: over your feelings of fear? What are some steps that

1294
00:58:39,120 --> 00:58:41,760
Speaker 1: you recommend to someone who feels like it's too late

1295
00:58:41,800 --> 00:58:47,040
Speaker 1: to get started? Ooh wow, okay for her, Thank you

1296
00:58:47,120 --> 00:58:50,760
Speaker 1: so much for writing in. I definitely can say that

1297
00:58:50,840 --> 00:58:53,240
Speaker 1: I have felt like I got a late start in

1298
00:58:53,320 --> 00:58:55,040
Speaker 1: my career. You know, I moved here and I want

1299
00:58:55,040 --> 00:58:57,080
Speaker 1: to say two thousand and nine, and it was a

1300
00:58:57,080 --> 00:59:00,200
Speaker 1: ten year process before I got my first show. Be like,

1301
00:59:00,240 --> 00:59:01,560
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, you just get out of nowhere. No,

1302
00:59:01,640 --> 00:59:03,360
Speaker 1: it was ten years that I was over here grinding

1303
00:59:03,400 --> 00:59:04,440
Speaker 1: and struggling.

1304
00:59:04,360 --> 00:59:07,960
Speaker 2: Until that hit. So it's never too late, you know,

1305
00:59:08,000 --> 00:59:08,680
Speaker 2: when God.

1306
00:59:08,480 --> 00:59:11,040
Speaker 1: Says, yes, that's your time to go, baby, and nobody

1307
00:59:11,080 --> 00:59:13,720
Speaker 1: can stop you when he says yes. As far as

1308
00:59:15,160 --> 00:59:17,800
Speaker 1: other people's voices being louder than you can make out

1309
00:59:17,800 --> 00:59:20,520
Speaker 1: the voice of God, for me, it's meditation and sitting

1310
00:59:20,560 --> 00:59:23,800
Speaker 1: in the stillness in the morning when like nobody's up,

1311
00:59:23,840 --> 00:59:25,720
Speaker 1: when I can just hear the birds waking up. That

1312
00:59:25,800 --> 00:59:27,400
Speaker 1: is the best time for me to hear God's voice

1313
00:59:28,120 --> 00:59:30,360
Speaker 1: because it's nothing going on. A lot of times, once

1314
00:59:30,360 --> 00:59:32,280
Speaker 1: a day get started, it's like calls start coming in.

1315
00:59:32,320 --> 00:59:33,800
Speaker 2: They ready giving you a pin. Oh, you shouldn't do that,

1316
00:59:33,800 --> 00:59:34,360
Speaker 2: you shouldn't do.

1317
00:59:34,600 --> 00:59:36,480
Speaker 1: That's when I feel like it's hard to like really

1318
00:59:36,560 --> 00:59:39,040
Speaker 1: discern where, like, God, where are you really leading me?

1319
00:59:39,960 --> 00:59:42,080
Speaker 1: So I would say, for sure, just find time that

1320
00:59:42,120 --> 00:59:43,920
Speaker 1: you can really until you get to a point in

1321
00:59:44,000 --> 00:59:45,919
Speaker 1: your walk with guy where you really just hear him.

1322
00:59:46,200 --> 00:59:48,320
Speaker 1: And sometimes you can be in New York City Times

1323
00:59:48,320 --> 00:59:48,880
Speaker 1: Square and you can.

1324
00:59:48,840 --> 00:59:50,800
Speaker 2: Hear him clearly like oh gotcha, you know.

1325
00:59:50,840 --> 00:59:53,440
Speaker 1: But sometimes you need to find that still quiet space

1326
00:59:53,480 --> 00:59:55,120
Speaker 1: that you can really just be a one with him

1327
00:59:55,400 --> 00:59:57,120
Speaker 1: where you can see what direction he wants to just

1328
00:59:57,120 --> 00:59:57,520
Speaker 1: take you to.

1329
00:59:57,920 --> 01:00:01,960
Speaker 2: But and Sarah Jakes roberts, but Karen moves.

1330
01:00:02,080 --> 01:00:06,160
Speaker 1: She talks about marinating before you activate, because honey, I

1331
01:00:06,160 --> 01:00:09,000
Speaker 1: didn't activated some things I should have loved marinate for at.

1332
01:00:12,360 --> 01:00:14,520
Speaker 2: Okay, So definitely I.

1333
01:00:14,440 --> 01:00:17,040
Speaker 1: Would just marinate on what you're trying to do before

1334
01:00:17,080 --> 01:00:18,040
Speaker 1: you activate anything.

1335
01:00:18,320 --> 01:00:20,440
Speaker 2: Sarah, what do you got to say to her? Everything

1336
01:00:20,480 --> 01:00:21,120
Speaker 2: that you said?

1337
01:00:21,200 --> 01:00:24,120
Speaker 3: I would say as a part of marinating that I

1338
01:00:24,160 --> 01:00:27,880
Speaker 3: would consider why do you feel stuck? I'm one of

1339
01:00:27,920 --> 01:00:30,840
Speaker 3: those people who like to face off with the fear,

1340
01:00:31,000 --> 01:00:33,720
Speaker 3: face off with the pain, the shame to understand the

1341
01:00:33,760 --> 01:00:37,080
Speaker 3: messages that I am receiving. And so I am stuck

1342
01:00:37,160 --> 01:00:41,400
Speaker 3: because I am afraid that blank is going to happen.

1343
01:00:41,560 --> 01:00:44,520
Speaker 3: I am stuck because I believe that I do not

1344
01:00:44,760 --> 01:00:47,479
Speaker 3: have blank? Like what is it if that is making

1345
01:00:47,520 --> 01:00:50,200
Speaker 3: me feel stuck? And is there anything that you can

1346
01:00:50,240 --> 01:00:52,120
Speaker 3: do to get unstuck?

1347
01:00:52,200 --> 01:00:52,320
Speaker 1: Like?

1348
01:00:52,360 --> 01:00:55,520
Speaker 3: Do I need to believe differently? Are there courses I

1349
01:00:55,560 --> 01:00:58,240
Speaker 3: can take that? Are there conversations that I need to have?

1350
01:00:58,600 --> 01:01:00,640
Speaker 3: Are these friendships the right friend and chips for me?

1351
01:01:00,720 --> 01:01:02,480
Speaker 3: If I'm stuck because I'm afraid people are going to

1352
01:01:02,560 --> 01:01:05,080
Speaker 3: make fun of me if I don't do this well?

1353
01:01:05,200 --> 01:01:06,880
Speaker 3: Like are these the types of friends that I want

1354
01:01:06,880 --> 01:01:07,920
Speaker 3: to have in the first place?

1355
01:01:08,000 --> 01:01:09,480
Speaker 2: Am I wrong? Or what I make fun?

1356
01:01:09,560 --> 01:01:09,640
Speaker 1: Like?

1357
01:01:09,640 --> 01:01:12,520
Speaker 3: I think there's so many things that when we're marinating

1358
01:01:12,520 --> 01:01:14,920
Speaker 3: that allows us to see Sometimes what I'm marinating on

1359
01:01:15,040 --> 01:01:18,000
Speaker 3: isn't even something that's possible, Like these friends would never

1360
01:01:18,040 --> 01:01:20,240
Speaker 3: make fun of me, They're so compassionate, you know what

1361
01:01:20,280 --> 01:01:22,760
Speaker 3: I mean? And we get stuck believing something that's not

1362
01:01:22,840 --> 01:01:25,280
Speaker 3: even true. So I would definitely say take some time

1363
01:01:25,320 --> 01:01:28,480
Speaker 3: to marinate to decide, like what exactly makes me feel

1364
01:01:28,560 --> 01:01:31,760
Speaker 3: stuck and is it really true? Because a lot of

1365
01:01:31,760 --> 01:01:33,120
Speaker 3: times it's not true.

1366
01:01:33,160 --> 01:01:35,000
Speaker 2: So that's good. Yeah that's real.

1367
01:01:35,200 --> 01:01:37,560
Speaker 1: A lot of times I'm an overthinker, so I always

1368
01:01:37,560 --> 01:01:40,680
Speaker 1: overthink the worst sometimes, like or I can overthink the

1369
01:01:40,720 --> 01:01:43,560
Speaker 1: best and be like girl, Okay, calm down.

1370
01:01:44,200 --> 01:01:45,120
Speaker 2: I overthink too.

1371
01:01:45,280 --> 01:01:48,280
Speaker 3: I think that's part of what makes so much of

1372
01:01:48,320 --> 01:01:52,560
Speaker 3: what we do successful is that it is well thought out. Yes,

1373
01:01:52,920 --> 01:01:56,919
Speaker 3: but there are other moments where it is enough thinking yeah,

1374
01:01:57,800 --> 01:02:00,160
Speaker 3: that is so true.

1375
01:02:02,080 --> 01:02:04,080
Speaker 1: Then we do something that's called what I'm growing through

1376
01:02:04,120 --> 01:02:09,240
Speaker 1: and what I'm going through? And right now I am.

1377
01:02:09,400 --> 01:02:12,160
Speaker 1: I talked about the asking God's enlarge my territory, but

1378
01:02:12,240 --> 01:02:15,480
Speaker 1: with that comes finding my voice in this space of

1379
01:02:15,480 --> 01:02:19,360
Speaker 1: my life, and right now I'm just really trying to

1380
01:02:19,400 --> 01:02:22,880
Speaker 1: figure out exactly where I want to really go at

1381
01:02:22,920 --> 01:02:24,640
Speaker 1: this as this next level expands.

1382
01:02:24,680 --> 01:02:26,480
Speaker 2: Because we were I was in church.

1383
01:02:26,520 --> 01:02:28,760
Speaker 1: We were just talking about how as you continue to

1384
01:02:28,760 --> 01:02:31,720
Speaker 1: get bigger, your option there becomes more options, and trying

1385
01:02:31,720 --> 01:02:33,400
Speaker 1: to decide, Okay, am I gonna go this way, this way,

1386
01:02:33,440 --> 01:02:36,640
Speaker 1: this way, really figuring out those those places and the

1387
01:02:36,640 --> 01:02:38,440
Speaker 1: avenues that I want to go down. So right now

1388
01:02:38,920 --> 01:02:41,240
Speaker 1: praying for the discernment to know, Okay, this is the

1389
01:02:41,280 --> 01:02:43,920
Speaker 1: way God wants me to go. Maybe I should wait

1390
01:02:43,960 --> 01:02:46,840
Speaker 1: on this because I'm like, I like to have a

1391
01:02:46,840 --> 01:02:52,640
Speaker 1: lot of what's in the fire fire and a lot

1392
01:02:52,680 --> 01:02:56,040
Speaker 1: of different things going on, but making sure that their

1393
01:02:56,080 --> 01:02:58,760
Speaker 1: God things and their God moves because everything he said,

1394
01:02:58,760 --> 01:03:00,640
Speaker 1: every good door is not a God and I'm trying

1395
01:03:00,680 --> 01:03:02,400
Speaker 1: to make sure the doors I go through now are

1396
01:03:02,400 --> 01:03:05,520
Speaker 1: the right ones because that can determine the future. It

1397
01:03:05,520 --> 01:03:06,880
Speaker 1: could be a good journey or it can be a

1398
01:03:06,920 --> 01:03:08,800
Speaker 1: bad one. So right now it's just a lot on

1399
01:03:08,800 --> 01:03:11,080
Speaker 1: my plate with trying to figure out where to go next.

1400
01:03:11,640 --> 01:03:13,840
Speaker 1: So that's what I'm going through and growing through.

1401
01:03:14,200 --> 01:03:20,600
Speaker 3: Okay, Yeah, I am growing through and going through embracing

1402
01:03:21,440 --> 01:03:25,600
Speaker 3: the I won't even call it a possibility, the reality

1403
01:03:26,520 --> 01:03:32,360
Speaker 3: that I am lovable, Okay, but hear me out. So

1404
01:03:32,480 --> 01:03:37,840
Speaker 3: I think so much of my reconciliation with God came

1405
01:03:37,880 --> 01:03:42,600
Speaker 3: down to me feeling like God loves me in spite

1406
01:03:42,640 --> 01:03:44,080
Speaker 3: of all of these things I've done.

1407
01:03:44,200 --> 01:03:44,920
Speaker 2: God loves me.

1408
01:03:45,000 --> 01:03:47,400
Speaker 3: He sees all of my flaws and he loves me

1409
01:03:47,560 --> 01:03:50,040
Speaker 3: and it almost feels and the grace of that is

1410
01:03:50,120 --> 01:03:54,680
Speaker 3: amazing and the charity.

1411
01:03:54,240 --> 01:03:55,680
Speaker 2: Of it, I think is amazing.

1412
01:03:57,640 --> 01:04:00,760
Speaker 3: But I also feel like there's another level that I

1413
01:04:00,800 --> 01:04:03,760
Speaker 3: am growing and going through that is like, yes, I

1414
01:04:03,800 --> 01:04:06,520
Speaker 3: love you in spite of all those things.

1415
01:04:06,240 --> 01:04:10,280
Speaker 2: But also you're just lovable. Yeah you are, And I

1416
01:04:10,360 --> 01:04:12,560
Speaker 2: just meant you today, thank you. Yeah you got your

1417
01:04:12,680 --> 01:04:14,120
Speaker 2: energy is good. Thank you.

1418
01:04:14,480 --> 01:04:18,680
Speaker 3: Like just embracing the idea that like maybe you're just

1419
01:04:18,800 --> 01:04:21,360
Speaker 3: a lovable person, like you're not loved out of this

1420
01:04:21,480 --> 01:04:22,920
Speaker 3: like charity, this pad.

1421
01:04:22,680 --> 01:04:25,200
Speaker 2: On the head, like oh my gosh, you know I.

1422
01:04:25,160 --> 01:04:30,200
Speaker 3: Love you, raggedy self, I love you, and you know

1423
01:04:30,240 --> 01:04:32,400
Speaker 3: I was glad to be loved like that, you know

1424
01:04:32,440 --> 01:04:34,560
Speaker 3: what I mean. I think that has been my postures

1425
01:04:34,600 --> 01:04:37,720
Speaker 3: like oh my gosh. But like this idea that like, no,

1426
01:04:37,920 --> 01:04:40,880
Speaker 3: like it wasn't a stretch. Yes, like we talk about

1427
01:04:40,880 --> 01:04:43,160
Speaker 3: God leaving or Jesus leaving the ninety nine to go

1428
01:04:43,200 --> 01:04:45,160
Speaker 3: get the one, and if you're that one, you can

1429
01:04:45,160 --> 01:04:46,320
Speaker 3: feel like, oh my gosh.

1430
01:04:46,160 --> 01:04:48,880
Speaker 2: He had to stretch, but you know he found you.

1431
01:04:49,120 --> 01:04:51,400
Speaker 3: But like what if it wasn't a stretch, Like what

1432
01:04:51,480 --> 01:04:54,800
Speaker 3: if it was his privilege, and it's honor to go

1433
01:04:54,880 --> 01:04:56,920
Speaker 3: out of his way because he knew that you're so

1434
01:04:57,120 --> 01:05:00,520
Speaker 3: lovable that like, I don't ever want you to feel lass,

1435
01:05:01,120 --> 01:05:04,320
Speaker 3: so I don't know to rewiring that I'm rolling and going.

1436
01:05:04,480 --> 01:05:06,439
Speaker 2: I love that. That is so good.

1437
01:05:09,720 --> 01:05:11,640
Speaker 1: The last thing we do is fill in the blank.

1438
01:05:11,720 --> 01:05:15,040
Speaker 1: Keep it blank, sweetie, Okay, and I'm going to say,

1439
01:05:15,520 --> 01:05:21,440
Speaker 1: keep marinating until it's time to activate, Sweetie.

1440
01:05:21,480 --> 01:05:26,200
Speaker 3: I am going to say, keep it authentic, Sweetie.

1441
01:05:26,320 --> 01:05:29,600
Speaker 2: I love that. I love that, Sarah, thank you so much.

1442
01:05:29,960 --> 01:05:30,960
Speaker 2: I appreciate it.

1443
01:05:31,200 --> 01:05:33,400
Speaker 1: Guys, thank you so much for tuning into this episode

1444
01:05:33,400 --> 01:05:35,520
Speaker 1: to keep it positive, sweetie. If you want to write

1445
01:05:35,520 --> 01:05:38,120
Speaker 1: into our open listener letter, you can write into keep

1446
01:05:38,120 --> 01:05:40,720
Speaker 1: it Positive Sweetie at gmail dot com and that's sweetye

1447
01:05:40,720 --> 01:05:43,120
Speaker 1: with an Ie. You can follow me on all platforms

1448
01:05:43,160 --> 01:05:46,200
Speaker 1: that love Crystalinee and that's LUV Sarah. Tell the people

1449
01:05:46,200 --> 01:05:47,320
Speaker 1: that can find you.

1450
01:05:47,320 --> 01:05:51,680
Speaker 3: You can find me at Sarah Jakes Roberts, on Instagram, Facebook,

1451
01:05:52,120 --> 01:05:55,080
Speaker 3: and on TikTok the real Sarah Jax Robert.

1452
01:05:55,200 --> 01:05:57,080
Speaker 1: There we go, all right, guys, and make sure you

1453
01:05:57,200 --> 01:05:59,680
Speaker 1: go right now to get her new book, Power Moves.

1454
01:06:00,080 --> 01:06:02,240
Speaker 2: It's everywhere. There's no excuse for me not to have it.

1455
01:06:02,360 --> 01:06:04,560
Speaker 2: Go get this. It definitely make a difference in your walk.

1456
01:06:04,920 --> 01:06:06,960
Speaker 2: Thank you so much, Sarah, I appreciate.

1457
01:06:16,880 --> 01:06:19,080
Speaker 4: Thank you Lord so much, Father God for this moment.

1458
01:06:19,120 --> 01:06:20,720
Speaker 4: Thank you for bringing everyone here safely.

1459
01:06:20,720 --> 01:06:20,959
Speaker 1: Lord.

1460
01:06:21,360 --> 01:06:22,960
Speaker 2: We thank you so much for the opportunity to.

1461
01:06:22,920 --> 01:06:26,880
Speaker 4: Converse vulnerably, openly, transparently. Father God, we just asked that

1462
01:06:27,120 --> 01:06:29,440
Speaker 4: you bless this moment and for everyone that will watch

1463
01:06:29,520 --> 01:06:31,880
Speaker 4: this later on, Father God, that they will receive what

1464
01:06:31,920 --> 01:06:32,800
Speaker 4: you want them to receive.

1465
01:06:33,120 --> 01:06:34,720
Speaker 2: We think you will. We honor you and your name.

1466
01:06:34,760 --> 01:06:35,960
Speaker 2: We pray Amen. Amen,