WEBVTT - Ep 263: Madonna-Whore Complex (Ft. Around the Way Curls Podcast) 0:00:01.000 --> 0:00:06.880 L a, We're back, baby, or shall I say Hollywood Mandy. 0:00:06.920 --> 0:00:11.080 That's right, guys, we have a live show happening this Saturday, 0:00:11.160 --> 0:00:15.760 April six at the Hollywood Improv. Doors will open at 0:00:15.840 --> 0:00:18.920 three thirty, show will start properly at four, and we 0:00:19.200 --> 0:00:21.919 ate all spizzam honey. Let me tell y'all a few 0:00:21.920 --> 0:00:24.360 things about this motherbuk show. If you came and toss 0:00:24.400 --> 0:00:27.600 in December, it's not the same show, the same home 0:00:27.680 --> 0:00:30.760 is not the same show. Too to, too too. If 0:00:30.760 --> 0:00:32.960 you miss that show because we sold out last time, 0:00:33.200 --> 0:00:34.800 make sure to grab tickets for this one because it 0:00:34.840 --> 0:00:38.479 is a very intimate setting. And by intimate, no, I 0:00:38.479 --> 0:00:40.560 don't mean we're gonna sunk. I just mean we're close together. 0:00:40.600 --> 0:00:42.960 There are no v i P tickets because of the 0:00:43.040 --> 0:00:46.239 seating being so good. However, there are going to be 0:00:46.440 --> 0:00:50.520 v i P topebacks included with every ticket, and this 0:00:50.560 --> 0:00:53.360 show is going to be televised, So make sure that 0:00:53.400 --> 0:00:55.319 you are looking your best, that you're on your A game, 0:00:55.360 --> 0:00:58.600 because you may end up on the big screen. That's right. 0:00:58.680 --> 0:01:00.720 Make sure you click the link in the description of 0:01:00.720 --> 0:01:03.040 this episode to get your tickets before they are all 0:01:03.120 --> 0:01:05.760 sold out. Looking forward to seeing all of you l 0:01:05.840 --> 0:01:08.280 a hose in the building on Saturday. See you there. 0:01:10.240 --> 0:01:13.680 I guess what decision we're about to make a horrible decisions. 0:01:16.440 --> 0:01:21.560 Hey guys, welcome to another episode of Horrible Blade. This 0:01:21.760 --> 0:01:23.960 is Young We beck at it again. It's your girl. 0:01:23.959 --> 0:01:28.080 Maybebe a k A full pumps, a K staying a K. 0:01:28.480 --> 0:01:30.480 I might snatch your nigga up and his daddy you 0:01:31.120 --> 0:01:34.200 not his father. Listen the way I'm like back with like, 0:01:34.440 --> 0:01:37.280 oh okay, he could be like twenty four and then 0:01:37.319 --> 0:01:40.160 his daddy like forty five. Give you know what I mean? 0:01:40.720 --> 0:01:43.199 I might just need both um and we are joined 0:01:43.240 --> 0:01:49.120 today Horrible We're not doing France brow three months. We 0:01:49.240 --> 0:01:50.880 all months like now, you guys are new here. But 0:01:51.240 --> 0:01:53.400 everybody needs to know on the show, I've been to France. 0:01:53.520 --> 0:02:00.120 You know, everyone's been reminded. Do you know what m 0:02:00.160 --> 0:02:03.720 up to me in the streets talking about like say 0:02:03.960 --> 0:02:05.520 da and she was saying the ship. I was like, oh, 0:02:05.600 --> 0:02:08.040 what's up? Like, no, listen to Horrible I know you're 0:02:08.080 --> 0:02:10.079 talking about France. Let's beak friends. I was like, okay, girl, 0:02:12.720 --> 0:02:15.440 she's to be creole, which is not. It was given 0:02:15.520 --> 0:02:18.960 hat whoever you are? It was giving you get Um. 0:02:19.040 --> 0:02:21.320 I want to give a shout out to our guest today. 0:02:22.080 --> 0:02:24.679 We have Shanty and ant Snap from the Around the 0:02:24.760 --> 0:02:28.200 Way Curls podcast and it was super important to have 0:02:28.320 --> 0:02:31.160 them on because, bitch, when that flyer dropped for the 0:02:31.240 --> 0:02:33.760 Roots picnic, which guys, yes, weep will be at um 0:02:34.000 --> 0:02:36.200 come to Philly and Joel. We're gonna be there on 0:02:36.320 --> 0:02:39.120 the podcasts No Fourth and fifth fourth, but we're just 0:02:39.160 --> 0:02:42.239 gonna beat on the fourth on stage. Don't say the 0:02:42.560 --> 0:02:44.560 flyers already out, We're gonna be there on the fourth. 0:02:44.800 --> 0:02:48.320 The probab were supposed to tell which the flyers out. 0:02:48.400 --> 0:02:51.240 You ain't gotta be mad at me, Mandy. They weet, 0:02:51.960 --> 0:02:53.280 we don't even know what day. We know we have 0:02:53.360 --> 0:02:55.480 to ask our agents. Hey there's a flyer for the day. 0:02:55.600 --> 0:02:58.200 They don't basically announce the days in case things change, 0:02:58.560 --> 0:03:00.359 and or because I think they try to so like 0:03:00.560 --> 0:03:05.280 I see, just yeah, well market or is there a surprise? No, 0:03:05.400 --> 0:03:06.799 they don't know. They just don't know. I don't know. 0:03:06.960 --> 0:03:10.160 Nut and Shout gonna be there. We're gonna be there. 0:03:12.960 --> 0:03:15.040 I'm gonna say, you guys have a really good pun name, 0:03:15.160 --> 0:03:18.720 and I'm like kind of jealous. She was against the 0:03:18.840 --> 0:03:25.080 name Wait, no way, her name we it was curl Interrupted, 0:03:25.320 --> 0:03:28.800 Around the Way, Curl. Actually, now you're given too much 0:03:28.840 --> 0:03:32.680 of those aren't taken yet? Sharing? Yeah, an inception date 0:03:32.760 --> 0:03:37.680 right here, bro, I need it's kind of fired that 0:03:37.920 --> 0:03:43.160 we had a whole thing date from here. Our listeners 0:03:43.440 --> 0:03:46.160 chose the name for us. We we what do we? 0:03:46.320 --> 0:03:49.360 We had a we had a blog and so we 0:03:49.520 --> 0:03:51.640 had them choose for us, and they all voted and 0:03:51.720 --> 0:03:54.600 that's what they chose. That girl's best friend is definitely 0:03:54.720 --> 0:03:58.440 not corny. My favorite girls interrupted crazy. But to me, 0:03:58.640 --> 0:04:00.960 I was gonna be like when I of girl Interrupted, 0:04:00.960 --> 0:04:02.920 I think of a lot of drugs and Angela and 0:04:04.320 --> 0:04:07.680 I knows. I'm saying, do you remember that movie? Our 0:04:07.760 --> 0:04:10.080 base knows us, so I think it was perfect. It 0:04:10.120 --> 0:04:12.440 worked out, But I wasn't against the way it curls about. 0:04:13.360 --> 0:04:17.240 While we are a multimedia platform, we basically bridge the 0:04:17.320 --> 0:04:21.360 gap between around the Way and academia. So we talked 0:04:21.400 --> 0:04:24.400 about a plethora of conversations, but love and light, money 0:04:24.440 --> 0:04:27.040 and dicks. Because duality is a thing. We are not 0:04:27.160 --> 0:04:30.000 a monolith, and so we we cover the gambit, but 0:04:30.080 --> 0:04:32.599 in a way where it's like you can actually digest 0:04:32.720 --> 0:04:35.720 what we're saying, and I think a lot of times 0:04:35.920 --> 0:04:40.440 some people can with us. Well no, no, But that's 0:04:40.480 --> 0:04:42.360 the thing is, like I think for us, it's like 0:04:42.480 --> 0:04:45.039 there's a place for everyone. We can meet you where 0:04:45.120 --> 0:04:47.680 you're at. If you want to get on academia, we 0:04:48.360 --> 0:04:50.520 get there and ask you with a word meant. But 0:04:50.640 --> 0:04:54.039 then we can also be around the way play spades 0:04:54.200 --> 0:04:56.800 and like chill and like have a real conversation, which 0:04:56.839 --> 0:04:59.600 which which, by the way, shout out shout out to 0:05:00.000 --> 0:05:05.760 everyone who does play because this because here and we 0:05:05.880 --> 0:05:09.680 sat with a group of men and just started it 0:05:09.920 --> 0:05:12.960 was safe. Okay, I saw one of the most insane 0:05:13.200 --> 0:05:15.599 pictures I've ever seen on Twitter in my life. I'm scared, 0:05:16.600 --> 0:05:18.880 and I thought, who am I gonna share this with 0:05:19.040 --> 0:05:20.560 on the podcast because after you guys, we have a 0:05:20.600 --> 0:05:22.359 couple of therapists coming in and I'm like, are they 0:05:22.440 --> 0:05:25.360 ready for this? But since you say so, I just 0:05:25.440 --> 0:05:28.440 want to preface how I found this photo. Uh, there's 0:05:28.480 --> 0:05:30.520 a domb. Shout out to Mistress Marley. I believe she 0:05:30.600 --> 0:05:34.560 opened her own black dungeon, which is great um in Brooklyn. Anyway, 0:05:34.680 --> 0:05:36.480 she put on a strap on today and posted in 0:05:36.480 --> 0:05:38.960 and said, who's ready? And so this dude sent this 0:05:39.080 --> 0:05:41.480 photo with not only his butthole but something in it. 0:05:43.440 --> 0:05:48.240 What is that his own dick? Why does it around 0:05:48.279 --> 0:05:51.159 the way? All right? I don't know how, I don't 0:05:51.200 --> 0:05:55.200 know where. We're not going to shame anyone. What do 0:05:55.279 --> 0:05:56.520 you mean how I decided to show that this is 0:05:56.560 --> 0:05:59.240 a horrible decision show, Bro, have you ever seen some 0:05:59.320 --> 0:06:01.720 ship like this your life? Because they don't do that 0:06:01.760 --> 0:06:06.599 where we're from, brow we are. I got so deep 0:06:06.680 --> 0:06:09.720 in this whole, no pun attended. I said, he hasn't 0:06:09.760 --> 0:06:12.680 only fans. I tried to bring him on the podcast already. 0:06:12.720 --> 0:06:14.280 It was six o'clock in the morning. I was in 0:06:14.440 --> 0:06:16.720 the hole, bro, and I was like, is this too 0:06:16.839 --> 0:06:21.280 nasty for these girls to see? It might not be, 0:06:22.680 --> 0:06:30.680 And it was like horrible to start off with the 0:06:30.880 --> 0:06:34.000 with the pod, which is horrible decisions. Uh. These two 0:06:34.120 --> 0:06:39.280 lovely ladies. If you guys enjoyed Hotels by Jasmine Sullivan, Uh, 0:06:39.520 --> 0:06:43.400 these two ladies actually were in two of the interludes. Kids. 0:06:43.880 --> 0:06:46.599 So I wanted to really get into y'all's hotels because 0:06:46.760 --> 0:06:48.240 one of the things about the album that I love 0:06:48.279 --> 0:06:50.919 so much too is it gave into all the different 0:06:50.960 --> 0:06:52.840 parts of being a hole. And I think if you've 0:06:52.880 --> 0:06:56.520 listened to like this podcast from Too Now, I think 0:06:56.560 --> 0:06:59.720 there's ebbs and flows of being a hug. Um it's 0:06:59.760 --> 0:07:01.240 on the start with your ship, bro, how did you 0:07:01.279 --> 0:07:03.080 guys get involved with that before we hear it? That's what. 0:07:03.200 --> 0:07:05.960 That's our best friend, that's what. And she knew you 0:07:06.000 --> 0:07:11.560 guys apparently you know. Now I think about it, I'm like, 0:07:11.640 --> 0:07:15.000 do you think that. I don't know. We didn't get 0:07:15.040 --> 0:07:16.560 to that. We're gonna get to that because I don't 0:07:16.560 --> 0:07:21.119 think her project is around like I think she's trying 0:07:21.200 --> 0:07:24.239 to say, like you guys are classifying folks as hoes 0:07:24.600 --> 0:07:26.560 and like really we're just women and having a human 0:07:26.640 --> 0:07:29.880 experience period, and so like you can say what it is, 0:07:30.000 --> 0:07:33.160 but I'm gonna I'll let you say that, but actually, 0:07:33.240 --> 0:07:36.360 let's let's actually talk about what's happening. And that's kind 0:07:36.360 --> 0:07:39.320 of what we've said around the word horror as well. 0:07:39.520 --> 0:07:41.560 It's like, well, we're just gonna on it. And then 0:07:41.600 --> 0:07:44.120 now you can't use it against me, like you can't 0:07:44.200 --> 0:07:46.520 use it to put me down, because Mitch, I'm a 0:07:46.600 --> 0:07:48.680 home what I'm I'm a war I'm suck like if 0:07:48.720 --> 0:07:50.160 that makes you feel good, you know what I mean? 0:07:50.320 --> 0:07:52.080 And I think, to be fair, that's what we as 0:07:52.120 --> 0:07:55.080 a black community did with the N words. They still 0:07:55.160 --> 0:07:57.160 can't use it with an e er, but now we 0:07:57.320 --> 0:07:59.560 use it like just what I'm a nigga like and 0:07:59.680 --> 0:08:03.000 now like again, white people still can't say. But I 0:08:03.120 --> 0:08:05.640 think we just use it now in a different sense, 0:08:05.760 --> 0:08:07.680 like reclaiming yourself. Yeah I want to Yeah, I do 0:08:07.760 --> 0:08:11.200 want to play? Could you play Antoinette's Tales so we 0:08:11.240 --> 0:08:16.360 can get into it. The thing is, they just cannot 0:08:16.520 --> 0:08:20.400 handle if a woman takes the same liberty system, especially 0:08:20.800 --> 0:08:24.400 with regards to sex, Like our society teaches them to 0:08:24.520 --> 0:08:28.200 be so wrapped up in themselves and their own conquests 0:08:28.240 --> 0:08:33.640 that they forget we're sexual beings as well. Plus their 0:08:33.679 --> 0:08:36.520 egos are often way too fragile, but ever handle a 0:08:36.600 --> 0:08:40.200 woman who owns and has any real agency over her body. Agreed, 0:08:40.280 --> 0:08:43.839 And we're to blame as well, because we're out here 0:08:44.000 --> 0:08:46.520 telling them that the pussy is there is when an 0:08:46.559 --> 0:08:50.559 actuality it's ours. I mean, we only be loaning it 0:08:50.640 --> 0:08:54.839 out for like the twelve minute men, It's great and 0:08:55.040 --> 0:08:57.199 the twelve men to say is they you know what 0:08:57.280 --> 0:09:02.040 I mean, like there's for help. Well, I it's interesting 0:09:02.160 --> 0:09:03.760 because I do think that there are a lot of 0:09:03.920 --> 0:09:07.360 people that are for the taking, a lot of women, 0:09:07.840 --> 0:09:09.920 people who identify as women, who feel like therefore the 0:09:10.040 --> 0:09:12.480 taking and it isn't offering, like oh, it is yours. 0:09:12.840 --> 0:09:14.920 You get to control how I feel, You get to 0:09:14.960 --> 0:09:18.920 control my pleasure. And I am completely against that. I 0:09:19.040 --> 0:09:21.200 think that I had to do a lot of work 0:09:21.280 --> 0:09:25.000 to reclaim my sexual energy because it was violated at 0:09:25.000 --> 0:09:28.559 a young age and so and I'm just beginning to 0:09:28.640 --> 0:09:31.880 get the language for it, Like I've been reading The 0:09:32.200 --> 0:09:34.680 Power of the Erotic by Audrey Lord and all these things, 0:09:34.760 --> 0:09:36.880 and I'm like, you know what, there is a lot 0:09:36.960 --> 0:09:42.240 of power in my pleasure. And I deserve pleasure. It 0:09:42.480 --> 0:09:46.000 is a right. It is revolutionary for women to be pleased, 0:09:46.480 --> 0:09:53.000 especially Black women. And I often I started to reflect 0:09:53.160 --> 0:09:56.280 on the sexual experiences that I had had and I 0:09:56.840 --> 0:09:59.439 was absolutely for the taking. I my body was in 0:09:59.559 --> 0:10:02.640 servant to their pleasure, that that was what I was 0:10:02.720 --> 0:10:06.000 there for. I didn't even consider myself. And when I 0:10:06.120 --> 0:10:10.880 started to do that, I recognize how uncomfortable it made 0:10:11.640 --> 0:10:15.439 some men in my life. You centered your pleasure when I, well, 0:10:15.920 --> 0:10:18.840 what what I wasn't even center it. Well, I would 0:10:18.920 --> 0:10:23.280 say like I would like to introduce this vibrator into 0:10:23.600 --> 0:10:26.559 our and that was like I was shamed for it, 0:10:26.840 --> 0:10:29.679 like that's your problem, Like that's why you're not having orgasms, 0:10:29.679 --> 0:10:32.640 because that's actually an issue, and and I was and 0:10:32.760 --> 0:10:38.480 I wassm right, And so then I started to be like, well, 0:10:38.520 --> 0:10:41.360 I'm not gonna have sex until I can really figure 0:10:41.400 --> 0:10:44.760 out what I like and didn't take a break. But 0:10:44.920 --> 0:10:50.320 she's still on that break. I'm on the best cand um. Yeah, 0:10:50.360 --> 0:10:55.679 I'm still break, but I pray for me. But I 0:10:56.000 --> 0:10:57.760 you know what it is, I really want to have 0:10:57.960 --> 0:11:00.800 you to listen. But it's not just that is I 0:11:00.960 --> 0:11:04.240 want to have energetic sex with someone I want to 0:11:05.160 --> 0:11:08.719 So I want to have sex that is not gender generally. No, 0:11:08.880 --> 0:11:12.359 it's not just my genitals. It is an actual connection. 0:11:12.880 --> 0:11:16.920 We are actually vibrating on a certain level where like 0:11:17.240 --> 0:11:19.920 we are so in tune with one another that you 0:11:20.080 --> 0:11:25.040 might not even need touch in order for us crystals. 0:11:25.120 --> 0:11:30.959 And when you have sex with someone like that, here's 0:11:31.000 --> 0:11:33.040 two interesting things about that. I'd be happy to say 0:11:33.080 --> 0:11:37.800 it's I'll be happy to say it at that, but like, so, 0:11:38.000 --> 0:11:41.400 for one, I feel like a friend of mine who's celibate, 0:11:41.600 --> 0:11:44.120 but purposefully right, not just kind of like really really 0:11:44.240 --> 0:11:46.640 holding out. She wants to have sex like this with someone, 0:11:46.840 --> 0:11:49.200 so she keeps waiting to build this connection with this person, 0:11:49.320 --> 0:11:52.640 expecting that it'll get there. There's another part of this 0:11:53.200 --> 0:11:56.080 that I really believe to be true. I don't think 0:11:56.200 --> 0:11:59.120 that just because you have an amazing emotional connection with 0:11:59.240 --> 0:12:02.079 someone you can jump into that crazy energetic sex. I 0:12:02.200 --> 0:12:04.760 think that has to come with building time. No agree, 0:12:04.920 --> 0:12:09.280 So maybe you gotta practice show pussy girl get well, 0:12:09.320 --> 0:12:11.160 you know what it is to a workout. You might 0:12:11.200 --> 0:12:15.160 be able to lift weights energetically. Well, I think energetically too. 0:12:15.640 --> 0:12:17.480 I've been so there are certain things that I have 0:12:17.559 --> 0:12:20.280 relied on two orgasm that I'm trying to see, Like, 0:12:20.960 --> 0:12:24.120 can you energetically get there on your own before you 0:12:24.280 --> 0:12:28.839 try to offer it? Mandy? No, Mandy, I'm trying to 0:12:28.880 --> 0:12:31.800 tell you I'm getting close like I am. I'm not 0:12:32.080 --> 0:12:36.199 using porn now, I'm not using por She's told we 0:12:36.480 --> 0:12:39.240 a settle this and I'm never even watched Ithen I 0:12:39.400 --> 0:12:42.360 listened to it, I would listen to it. I have 0:12:43.160 --> 0:12:48.760 right here handwright, I've been why do you resist only 0:12:48.880 --> 0:12:52.280 hands in a mirror? I'm trying to get to only hands, right, 0:12:52.400 --> 0:12:54.520 only fans, only hands. I'm trying to get there, but 0:12:54.600 --> 0:12:58.720 I haven't. Just have to start a circular motion instead 0:12:58.760 --> 0:13:01.880 of this way, and you have to rub your volva. 0:13:02.240 --> 0:13:04.160 You have to spend more time. But when you get 0:13:04.240 --> 0:13:06.199 rid of that VI writer, now it's like almost like 0:13:06.240 --> 0:13:08.600 my hand is stronger. But even standing in the mirror 0:13:08.880 --> 0:13:12.439 and touching myself, even when I watched myself, like actually 0:13:12.679 --> 0:13:15.599 feeling what my body feels like. All right, this is 0:13:15.640 --> 0:13:22.240 getting a little serious. I'm just like that is that 0:13:22.400 --> 0:13:27.839 way I just so gently caressed my breast. I offer 0:13:27.960 --> 0:13:30.240 that's an offering, like if you want to get there 0:13:30.400 --> 0:13:34.200 with someone, you gotta get there with yourself first. Mandy, 0:13:34.240 --> 0:13:37.800 why do you resist not using porn? Why do you 0:13:38.559 --> 0:13:41.760 you know? I've just come to to learn in terms 0:13:41.800 --> 0:13:44.240 of about myself but also with my partners, which I've 0:13:44.280 --> 0:13:46.880 realized that's probably why I'm so shallow. I get a 0:13:47.080 --> 0:13:52.000 roused and come visually, which is probably why I ugly. 0:13:52.320 --> 0:13:55.199 You'd like to mirror work yourself, Yeah, but then I 0:13:55.240 --> 0:13:57.040 gotta lean it right and makes me have to late. 0:13:57.080 --> 0:13:58.640 You could stand. I've been in your house. You can 0:13:58.720 --> 0:14:01.079 stand in front of your bathroom. I don't play with 0:14:01.120 --> 0:14:03.800 myself standing up my arms. I got t Rex arms, Bitch, 0:14:03.800 --> 0:14:06.080 I gotta lay down so a bitch can reach the ship. 0:14:06.480 --> 0:14:08.880 I can't reach my goddamn standing up. You know what 0:14:08.920 --> 0:14:10.079 I mean. I used to be mad when I was 0:14:10.120 --> 0:14:18.280 in middle school, you know, legit like like when I 0:14:18.480 --> 0:14:20.320 was in it. When I was in middle school, I 0:14:20.480 --> 0:14:22.120 used to be you know how, like your arms had 0:14:22.160 --> 0:14:24.440 to go past your skirt. I'm like, bitch, I got 0:14:24.520 --> 0:14:28.200 t Rex arms. Everything gonna look like just nothing went 0:14:28.280 --> 0:14:30.360 past baby. I could have wore draws and they would 0:14:30.360 --> 0:14:32.440 have took me out anyway. UM, I want to play 0:14:32.520 --> 0:14:35.160 your tail next, if you don't mind, and then we 0:14:35.480 --> 0:14:38.040 think of a hotel if you have one up, preferably 0:14:38.080 --> 0:14:41.560 if something that happened recently. But um, I didn't go 0:14:41.560 --> 0:14:47.200 ahead and play shants tail, please me. I lost myself before. 0:14:47.200 --> 0:14:50.800 I still in love with someone who brought me playfulness 0:14:51.360 --> 0:14:54.200 and light to my life at a time when I 0:14:54.360 --> 0:14:59.200 felt the complete opposite. So a weight of responsibility and 0:14:59.400 --> 0:15:03.200 I was very very serious and he was just As 0:15:03.280 --> 0:15:06.840 our relationship progressed I was always in his world and 0:15:07.160 --> 0:15:09.920 he wasn't really interested in We just wanted to enjoy 0:15:10.040 --> 0:15:13.200 the easy parts of me. There was no balance, and 0:15:13.280 --> 0:15:16.640 I started to be started to feel a shamed and 0:15:16.880 --> 0:15:20.800 you until I got angry and I realized he couldn't 0:15:20.840 --> 0:15:23.440 have access to any parts of me that he could 0:15:23.480 --> 0:15:27.320 accept and love all of me. And then we broke 0:15:27.400 --> 0:15:29.480 up because it really wasn't even a relationship. It was 0:15:29.480 --> 0:15:31.600 a situation ship. That's what that was given. I just 0:15:31.720 --> 0:15:36.360 need to know you really like him, and he's just like, yeah, girl, 0:15:36.400 --> 0:15:38.080 were you coming over? Oh you can't come over tonight? 0:15:38.120 --> 0:15:40.640 All right, bas I'll check you another time. No. No. 0:15:41.280 --> 0:15:44.080 So I had my daughter when I was young, so 0:15:44.200 --> 0:15:46.520 I was like, what twenty three twenty four, I had 0:15:46.560 --> 0:15:51.400 just gotten out of our relationships. I was maybe now 0:15:52.200 --> 0:15:54.840 you know that, how does the daughter let me do 0:15:54.960 --> 0:16:00.880 the academiaia? So I was just I felt a lot 0:16:00.960 --> 0:16:03.960 of responsibility. I was in mom mode all the time 0:16:04.640 --> 0:16:07.480 I was. I didn't feel like I had the space 0:16:07.680 --> 0:16:10.000 to have fun and be free because that whole life 0:16:10.120 --> 0:16:13.480 was just cut off. Did that person join in your 0:16:13.560 --> 0:16:16.760 life as a mother or just ad he was just 0:16:17.120 --> 0:16:19.680 a boyfriend And so That's where it was this conflict 0:16:19.760 --> 0:16:22.520 of like I had this this area of my life 0:16:22.600 --> 0:16:25.000 where I was really responsible and like I think I 0:16:25.080 --> 0:16:28.400 had to think outside of just myself and then with him, 0:16:28.840 --> 0:16:33.520 it's just fun and games and and while that's someplace 0:16:33.960 --> 0:16:36.480 and it was exciting, I needed it. It was a 0:16:36.560 --> 0:16:39.040 relationship that I don't regret by any means, but it 0:16:39.200 --> 0:16:42.800 was exhausting and I couldn't be my full as self, 0:16:42.920 --> 0:16:46.200 my whole self. I couldn't share certain things about my 0:16:46.360 --> 0:16:48.960 life emotionally that I was going through because he just 0:16:49.000 --> 0:16:52.040 couldn't relate and he didn't have any interest. There was 0:16:52.120 --> 0:16:55.200 no interest there. He would just go as soon as 0:16:55.240 --> 0:16:58.000 you wanted to maybe or share. Yeah, it was it 0:16:58.160 --> 0:17:00.720 was just a burden for him. And I can get 0:17:00.760 --> 0:17:02.720 it because he didn't sign up for that, and I, 0:17:03.160 --> 0:17:05.879 you know, I get it. He didn't sign up for it. 0:17:05.920 --> 0:17:08.440 That's not what he wanted. He was being honest. But 0:17:08.960 --> 0:17:11.760 it just wear it on my self esteem. After a while, 0:17:11.760 --> 0:17:14.600 I ended up ending the relationship for him, it was 0:17:14.680 --> 0:17:17.600 it was mutual. I think we both knew, like we 0:17:17.680 --> 0:17:20.480 can't keep it's it's giving me. How long were you 0:17:20.520 --> 0:17:25.200 breaking up for? Yeah? Okay, now I feel like the 0:17:25.240 --> 0:17:27.560 ship of the relationship. I knew from the jump, like, 0:17:27.680 --> 0:17:31.320 this is the beginning of the relationship. I knew from 0:17:31.359 --> 0:17:33.760 the jump it wasn't it wasn't going up. I mean 0:17:33.800 --> 0:17:36.800 me and my ex were just breaking up for six 0:17:37.840 --> 0:17:40.280 months like that, and it was just like Nill, like 0:17:40.480 --> 0:17:43.600 finally it was like, no, I'm ready, I'm ready for 0:17:43.680 --> 0:17:46.239 the same it was for when he was like, all right, 0:17:46.320 --> 0:17:48.639 I see this, like we can't keep doing it. You 0:17:48.720 --> 0:17:52.040 can't keep doing that, so I can. I can take it. Well, 0:17:52.080 --> 0:17:54.200 I want to get into ur Vanilla ship because it's 0:17:54.240 --> 0:17:56.760 where we make to the little Nasteel what I both, Um, 0:17:57.359 --> 0:17:59.120 this is literally the most same part of the show. 0:17:59.280 --> 0:18:05.960 I mean that's gross. Actually this is gross. Yeah, so 0:18:07.040 --> 0:18:13.960 uh this one, No, she she helped me with the outline. Um, 0:18:14.640 --> 0:18:17.520 so this one comes from the New York Post. An 0:18:17.680 --> 0:18:22.600 ex teacher who fed students semen lace cupcakes has been 0:18:22.680 --> 0:18:26.200 sentenced to forty one years. I actually like saw this 0:18:26.320 --> 0:18:29.400 and didn't even think we should. Cynthia Parkins thirty six, 0:18:29.440 --> 0:18:32.439 I'm gonna call it out because she's Nancy's fuck Um 0:18:32.600 --> 0:18:36.639 was sentenced um after pleading guilty to second degree rape, 0:18:37.240 --> 0:18:42.040 production of child pornography and conspiracy of mingling harmful substances. 0:18:42.160 --> 0:18:44.480 It's crazy because when I read this, I was like, 0:18:45.200 --> 0:18:47.080 I need to know what type of charges you get 0:18:47.160 --> 0:18:48.800 for stuff like this because I don't know if y'all 0:18:48.800 --> 0:18:51.639 see it too. There's a video going around now A 0:18:51.760 --> 0:18:55.320 man I assume homeless clearly wasn't well. There's a video 0:18:55.400 --> 0:18:58.960 and woman's face. Yes, walked up to a woman sitting 0:18:59.000 --> 0:19:02.160 wagh in the mind it in New York and walked 0:19:02.240 --> 0:19:05.159 up and smeared her face with his pieces on the 0:19:05.200 --> 0:19:08.800 train on the train platform. Um. This woman lives in 0:19:09.880 --> 0:19:12.960 in Louisiana. But this is how many charges she has. 0:19:13.400 --> 0:19:18.119 She has seventy two charges of various sex crimes for this, 0:19:18.560 --> 0:19:21.520 sixty eight of which we're dropped in her plea agreement. Um. 0:19:21.800 --> 0:19:24.520 But pretty much she was facing a hundred and fifty 0:19:24.560 --> 0:19:28.720 criminal charges, um, many of which are also sex crimes 0:19:28.760 --> 0:19:30.960 according to the indictment. I want to know if it 0:19:31.000 --> 0:19:34.480 says how many children she sat seen class? It was 0:19:34.520 --> 0:19:39.800 a whole class. Um. I just it's weird because we 0:19:39.840 --> 0:19:42.800 talk a lot about of course, um teacher, we see 0:19:42.800 --> 0:19:46.000 a lot of teachers having a lot of affairs with students. Now, Um, 0:19:46.160 --> 0:19:49.040 that's popular, which we don't bring many of those conversations 0:19:49.200 --> 0:19:53.080 to um horrible decisions because it's just like that's put 0:19:53.080 --> 0:19:55.800 a failure. This was just interesting to me because I'm 0:19:55.840 --> 0:19:59.479 just like, what makes you think to feed children? Fucking 0:20:00.040 --> 0:20:02.359 Stephen Field cup kicks the devil. And I also want 0:20:02.400 --> 0:20:04.560 to know how they found out. No, in reading the 0:20:04.720 --> 0:20:08.560 article in depth, they were involved with pedophilia. She was 0:20:08.960 --> 0:20:11.840 the wingman to her partner, her husband at that time, 0:20:11.880 --> 0:20:15.800 who was a cop or some kind of god, some 0:20:15.960 --> 0:20:18.200 kind of like official in that way, and they were 0:20:18.400 --> 0:20:22.840 they were molesting. They found nude photos, No, they had. 0:20:24.119 --> 0:20:27.680 She probably should have gotten more time. But now that 0:20:27.720 --> 0:20:31.280 I think about photo that was just found that those 0:20:31.760 --> 0:20:35.560 how the fuck? Like I do some dumb ship like 0:20:35.920 --> 0:20:39.000 maybe I'll like smoke weed or maybe I've pop Molly 0:20:39.080 --> 0:20:41.120 and maybe took a little snapchat of and then sent 0:20:41.240 --> 0:20:42.840 it to a friend. But if I know I'm committing 0:20:42.960 --> 0:20:46.960 up crime crime, I'm going to take a pictures telling 0:20:47.000 --> 0:20:50.680 that a whole video picking and they keep these like 0:20:51.200 --> 0:20:57.320 keeping it it's really children. So I've been like, well, 0:20:57.800 --> 0:21:02.640 I'm working on a you see, an investigative crime podcast, 0:21:03.119 --> 0:21:05.040 and one of the things that they keep like pulling 0:21:05.160 --> 0:21:07.879 up at the trend with like people that commit murders 0:21:07.960 --> 0:21:10.000 that are not accidents. I'm not talking about like crime 0:21:10.040 --> 0:21:11.960 of passion or like you got mad, you had to 0:21:12.040 --> 0:21:15.680 kill that name right, People that like enjoy the kill. 0:21:16.240 --> 0:21:20.040 They need the trophy, and so they try to take 0:21:20.119 --> 0:21:22.440 lots of pair. They try to take something. And that's 0:21:22.760 --> 0:21:25.320 something about like getting off with like the pedophilia thing, 0:21:25.440 --> 0:21:29.439 and bro, it's crazy. What do you mean that's my thing? 0:21:29.560 --> 0:21:32.200 Like me, but the people her she can rotten jail, 0:21:32.240 --> 0:21:35.960 but like what do these poor kids there too? Like? 0:21:37.160 --> 0:21:40.040 And and for the word rpe to be used, it's 0:21:40.080 --> 0:21:43.280 been interesting because I went down a hole even um, 0:21:43.600 --> 0:21:46.440 I love rabbit holes, but just words and used to 0:21:46.560 --> 0:21:49.040 just and that came after me looking up prison food. 0:21:49.080 --> 0:21:51.639 Oh my god, those YouTube videos of making prison me 0:21:53.560 --> 0:21:56.840 didn't have, Bro, that ship is crazy. But then I 0:21:57.000 --> 0:21:59.399 ended up down just the whole of like but you 0:21:59.480 --> 0:22:03.080 know what's easy, like about those prison food ship. So 0:22:03.440 --> 0:22:06.440 the nigga who's calling make boring, he was telling me 0:22:06.440 --> 0:22:08.240 about his little prison tales because I send him the 0:22:08.240 --> 0:22:11.320 Hobachi ship because he ain't got Instagram. So I'll be like, damn, 0:22:11.400 --> 0:22:14.520 I'm tied offloading these videos. But I sent him the 0:22:15.560 --> 0:22:19.040 Instagram though he didn't have instagramase he was still locked up. 0:22:19.240 --> 0:22:22.879 He locked up. Oh no, no, nor very fair question, 0:22:23.720 --> 0:22:26.520