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Speaker 1: Yeah, they talk better than they tell me about it.

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Speaker 1: These are the radio blogs on the Fred Show. It's

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Speaker 1: like a writing in our diaries, except we see them

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Speaker 1: a lot. Of course, we called them blogs.

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Speaker 2: Yes you ready, Yes, all right, I go, thank you

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Speaker 2: so much, dear blog.

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Speaker 3: So you know, I think a lot of us can relate.

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Speaker 2: But my mind is a is a dangerous place, and

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Speaker 2: it's a scary place.

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Speaker 3: Because I alog play the song.

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Speaker 2: So I struggle a lot with scenarios or skits or

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Speaker 2: how are you going to phrase it? And I got

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Speaker 2: two different types, right, So the one that I have

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Speaker 2: is the what I should have said in a conversation.

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Speaker 2: And I'm in the show. We're washing my hair, you know,

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Speaker 2: doing a whole body scrub, and then I'm like, I

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Speaker 2: should have told this person.

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Speaker 3: That that would have been so good.

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Speaker 2: But at the moment, I don't know if I have

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Speaker 2: like a flight or what is it called the freezing?

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Speaker 3: But I have a freeze. Okay.

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Speaker 2: So my thing is I don't I don't fight, I

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Speaker 2: don't fight whatever.

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Speaker 3: I just freeze. Yeah, And I wish, wish.

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Speaker 2: Wish I wasn't like that so that I could be

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Speaker 2: more quicker sometimes, especially if you catch me off guard

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Speaker 2: then like I don't Sometimes every time, okay, well your

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Speaker 2: you're a tip, I'm sorry, what fee I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 2: like I don't know.

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Speaker 3: I also like I don't know.

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Speaker 2: In the moment, I'm like, well he really said that

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Speaker 2: or she really said that, and I don't know. But

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Speaker 2: then I have another thing that I do, which is

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Speaker 2: I create fake scenarios in my head when I know

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Speaker 2: something's about to happen. If let's just say, Fred, you

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Speaker 2: and I are gonna have a conversation today at ten o'clock,

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Speaker 2: I'm already like preparing what you're gonna say and how

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna respond, which my friend told me her therapist

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Speaker 2: because she does it too. Her therapist said that it's

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Speaker 2: because you don't like the unpredictable or something, so you're

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Speaker 2: trying to like kind of sketch it out of what

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Speaker 2: it would look like, and you should never do that,

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Speaker 2: I guess apparently, But I do it all the time

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Speaker 2: because I have an event thing that I'm going to

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Speaker 2: a thing on Sunday, and I'm already doing a skit

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Speaker 2: in my head of like how I'm gonna approach somebody,

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Speaker 2: what I'm gonna say, where I'm gonna say, like what

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Speaker 2: they're going to respond to me, Like I have a

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Speaker 2: whole skit in my head.

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Speaker 3: See, I do the same thing.

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Speaker 1: That problem is, Yeah, you're prepared for any outcome, but like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I tend to get myself worked up. Yes, yes, and

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Speaker 1: I really don't even know if it's going to, you know,

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Speaker 1: get to that point, you know what I mean, Like

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Speaker 1: I don't really know what the other person's going to

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Speaker 1: say or what they feel, but then I fill it

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Speaker 1: in and then that that I just build up like

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Speaker 1: stress over the thing I've created.

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Speaker 2: Oh I'm stressed. I'm so stressed. And I guarantee, youse

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Speaker 2: you it never ends up like that too. That person's

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Speaker 2: gonna just be so corridial or just say hello or something.

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Speaker 2: And I'm over here like, oh, we're.

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Speaker 3: About to box it out and this whole thing is

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Speaker 3: going to happen. The police are going to show up,

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Speaker 3: Like I have a whole thing in my head, but

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Speaker 3: I'm like, it's not gonna happen like that.

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Speaker 2: But I don't know if I'm like trying to prepare

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Speaker 2: for the worst case scenario, I don't know.

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Speaker 4: I mean, we all run things through our own filter,

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Speaker 4: so like an action happens or someone does something, and

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Speaker 4: every single person has their own filter based on, you know,

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Speaker 4: their experiences leading up to that point.

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Speaker 3: True, so we all do that. But I do think.

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Speaker 4: There's some port part of like my therapist has called me,

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Speaker 4: you know, a control freak before, but not in the

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Speaker 4: sense of like controlling that like what you would think.

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Speaker 4: It's like trying to control somebody's reaction to something I'm

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Speaker 4: going to do in order to be able to like

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Speaker 4: know what's going to happen, you know, like if I'm

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Speaker 4: giving someone bad news, like I can't control their reaction,

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Speaker 4: but I want to because I want it to go away.

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Speaker 4: That isn't, you know, bad for both of us. So

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Speaker 4: it might be a little bit.

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Speaker 3: Of both, I think.

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Speaker 1: So someone said they do it out loud, So do I.

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Speaker 1: I live alone, so I have the full on conversation.

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Speaker 1: What's the problem is, by the Joe, I have full

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Speaker 1: on conversation out loud.

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Speaker 3: You talk out loud?

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, to myself all the time all day? Well,

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Speaker 1: no voices, Uh no, that voice is in my head.

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Speaker 1: I'll say what I'm going to say out loud, yeah,

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Speaker 1: one hundred percent.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean why not? There's no one there to

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Speaker 3: hear it.

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Speaker 1: But my problem is a by the time I get

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Speaker 1: to the actual encounter, I'm so tired from the fight

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Speaker 1: that I have with myself role playing yes that I

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Speaker 1: it's like I have no fight left in me, so

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Speaker 1: I just get walked on. I get to the thing

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Speaker 1: and it's like I'm not armed. I'm just exhausted, you know.

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Speaker 1: It's like wow. And then they say the thing. But

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Speaker 1: I'm with you too, Like I can come up with

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Speaker 1: a million things an hour later that I should.

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Speaker 3: Have said, yes, yeah, my damn it, that would have

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Speaker 3: been so good. That would have been I want to

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Speaker 3: call them the thing again that I just came up with.

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Speaker 2: Man, and I do this thing too, where like because

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Speaker 2: there's somebody I want to text, but I don't. I

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Speaker 2: feel like the response to me isn't gonna be nice,

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Speaker 2: so I'm like avoiding that even though I don't know.

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Speaker 2: My therapist will say, well, you don't know that, Paulina,

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Speaker 2: you don't know what the response is going to be,

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Speaker 2: and like also, I'm just thinking worst case scenario. But

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Speaker 2: I'm like nervous. It's on a textile because I'm just

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Speaker 2: scared I'm gonna get like my head shoot off. You know,

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Speaker 2: I don't know, I think too much.

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Speaker 1: I think Where that applies to me too, is that

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Speaker 1: I have the hardest time believing that when people are

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Speaker 1: acting a certain way towards me. And I get this

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Speaker 1: advice all the time, like from my therapy, I mean,

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Speaker 1: for professionals tell me this, my friends tell me this,

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Speaker 1: Calein told me this before. It's like, so much of

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Speaker 1: the time, the way someone's acting towards you has nothing

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Speaker 1: to do with you. It is about them, Yes, But

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Speaker 1: then that to me is so unaccountable because I know

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Speaker 1: people who just the one of the traits that drives

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Speaker 1: me to most crazy is unaccountable people like I can't

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Speaker 1: stand people who everything is always everybody else's fault. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: if there is constant chaos in your life, if everybody

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Speaker 1: around you is the problem, at what point do you say,

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Speaker 1: wait a minute, hold on a second. The common denominator

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Speaker 1: here is me, So maybe I'm the problem. But what

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Speaker 1: I mean is I'll play out these scenarios and I'll

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Speaker 1: get myself all worked up about what I think someone

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Speaker 1: else is upset about, only to find out that they're

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Speaker 1: not really even upset with me at all. They're just

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Speaker 1: being an a hole because they're mad about something that

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Speaker 1: has something to do with them, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: So I'm with you, I play out, I use all

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Speaker 1: this energy towards this thing, only to then find out

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Speaker 1: when it finally does happen, it had nothing to do

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Speaker 1: with me to begin with. They were just being jerks

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Speaker 1: because they were mad about something else.

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Speaker 3: Yep. So it's a lot of ways to energy. It is.

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Speaker 2: It is because I'm already exhausted and the thing is Sunday,

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Speaker 2: and I don't know if I'm going to make it

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Speaker 2: a Sunday.

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Speaker 3: No, just do what I do.

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Speaker 1: You'll be exhausted by the time you get there, and

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Speaker 1: it'll just be like I don't have anymore.

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Speaker 3: It's left, It's fine whatever, just walk on, just walk on.

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Speaker 1: No. But then it's like, you know, you build, build

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Speaker 1: it up, and then you get to the point and

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Speaker 1: you realize it's had nothing to do with you, and you're.

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Speaker 3: Like, oh god, yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 1: I spent the whole week talking to myself. I'm no

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Speaker 1: voice left. I got a bunch of great one liners

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Speaker 1: like ham and do something now waiting by the phone

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Speaker 1: in three minutes