Speaker 1: Tell me I can't see okay, what's up, y'all? Welcome
Speaker 1: to Hand Me my Purse the podcast. I am me
Speaker 1: Me Walker, and I will be your forever host, each
Speaker 1: and every single time you tune into this podcast. So
Speaker 1: go ahead and get comfortable. Get yourself a glass of
Speaker 1: your favorite beverage, whether that's alkaline water, red kool aid,
Speaker 1: a hot cup of tea with honey, a glass of Cabernet,
Speaker 1: Sauvignon or Hennessy, and light yourself a candle, some incense
Speaker 1: or burn some sage and just get ready to chill
Speaker 1: out and have a good time. What's up, friends and ken,
Speaker 1: It's Mimi Resident Anti Supreme here at hand Me my Purse.
Speaker 1: And today I'm sipping on some deep Eddy Lemon vodka
Speaker 1: with bubbly pineapple Seltzer water. Why because you know what,
Speaker 1: the way this week has gone down in the United
Speaker 1: States of America for black folks, I deserve a drink, okay,
Speaker 1: And this is my first drink of the whole week.
Speaker 1: I haven't done any day drinking this week. I haven't
Speaker 1: had any liquor at all, actually, and I'm really proud
Speaker 1: of myself. So I'm feeling very detoxificated. Okay, I am
Speaker 1: so proud of that. I wish I had a T
Speaker 1: shirt that said Proud Mary, because I would be proud Mary.
Speaker 1: I can't even remember the last time I had a drink,
Speaker 1: and not that I'm an alcoholic, but you know, I
Speaker 1: like to have a drink every now and then, and
Speaker 1: I haven't had any. I didn't even have anything to
Speaker 1: drink last week when I watched Insecure, and I usually
Speaker 1: like to have a glass of wine or margarita when
Speaker 1: I watched that, and I didn't. So I'm very proud
Speaker 1: of myself. Thank you very much for this show's jam.
Speaker 1: I decided to choose a song that of course is
Speaker 1: centered around the theme for today's show as usual, and
Speaker 1: this song is a song that I would listen to
Speaker 1: on repeat in a really, really dark period of my
Speaker 1: life where you know, I was really depressed, I was lonely,
Speaker 1: I felt really isolated, and I just didn't know how
Speaker 1: I was coming out of it. Right at the time,
Speaker 1: I was not in therapy, so I had to resort
Speaker 1: to my own strategies or coping mechanisms. And for me,
Speaker 1: something that I always look to when I'm not feeling
Speaker 1: my best is music. So I would always use music
Speaker 1: and or art, but mostly music as a form of therapy.
Speaker 1: So this song is actually by Damian Marley and side note,
Speaker 1: I love Damian Marley and NAS. Side note number two,
Speaker 1: I love Nazia Jones and I don't know too many
Speaker 1: black women who don't love NAS. And if you do
Speaker 1: not like NAS, I don't really like we need to
Speaker 1: have a conversation because I don't really know how magic
Speaker 1: your black girl magic is. But anyway, I digress. I'm
Speaker 1: just kidding. You still her magical even if you don't
Speaker 1: like NAS. No, you're not just kidding, Okay, anyway, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: So anyway, this song, I would listen to it. I
Speaker 1: created a playlist because like I was really damn and
Speaker 1: I said, I gotta get a grip on this. So
Speaker 1: I created a playlist and it was called Shower Power,
Speaker 1: and I would listen to it when I got up,
Speaker 1: when I got in the shower, and I would listen
Speaker 1: to it on my ride into work. And it had
Speaker 1: gospel songs, some inspirational songs, you know, just all the
Speaker 1: songs centered around like joy and happiness and peace and
Speaker 1: you know, paying attention to you know how blessed and
Speaker 1: how grateful you should be for the life that you
Speaker 1: do have. The first song on the playlist was Happy
Speaker 1: by Pharrell. Okay, and although that song kind of drives
Speaker 1: me crazy, it would always just put me in a
Speaker 1: good space. So I would start my day off listening
Speaker 1: to that song. And this song is actually called counter Blessings,
Speaker 1: and it's a phenomenal song. The lyrics alone will put
Speaker 1: you in a supreme place of gratitude. I have to
Speaker 1: say that my favorite, Like I love the lyrics of
Speaker 1: this song, but I think my favorite line of lyrics
Speaker 1: that would make me cry and I would cry sometimes
Speaker 1: when I would listen to it is when he would say,
Speaker 1: and give thanks to the Master that through all the disaster,
Speaker 1: we're still here together. After that, are count your blessings.
Speaker 1: And that is really what drove me to select this song,
Speaker 1: because it seems like we are in the middle of
Speaker 1: a severe shit storm right and when this is all over,
Speaker 1: we will be blessed enough to still be here and
Speaker 1: just give thanks to whoever your higher power is. But
Speaker 1: give thanks to God, give thanks to universe, give thanks
Speaker 1: to a head of cabbage, or give thanks to the sun.
Speaker 1: Whatever it is that you give thanks to Okay, I
Speaker 1: hope it's not yourself, but you know, hey, that's not
Speaker 1: for me to judge, but just to give thanks that
Speaker 1: through all of this disaster and all of this mess,
Speaker 1: that we are still here together. So let's count our
Speaker 1: blessings for that, when everything seems that it's down, we're
Speaker 1: still here and we're still together. I want you to
Speaker 1: get into this song. I'm going to play a snippet
Speaker 1: of it. The cover that I found is by a
Speaker 1: group or a band called the Lucitionaires. I really hope
Speaker 1: I'm saying that right. It seems like I say that
Speaker 1: almost every show, but I really hope I'm saying that right.
Speaker 1: So the Lucian Airs and they are covering Damian Marley
Speaker 1: and Naz's Count Your Blessings. But I want you to
Speaker 1: listen to and get into Damian Marley and Naz's version
Speaker 1: of the original version of this song. And I want
Speaker 1: you to listen to it, and I want you to
Speaker 1: get into it. And if you can't understand what he's saying,
Speaker 1: God have mercy, look up the lyrics and read them
Speaker 1: to yourself. But it's really a heartfelt song, and it's
Speaker 1: a song that just puts you in a really reflective place,
Speaker 1: in a place of gratitude, like don't ever forget. And
Speaker 1: it also reminds us to be grateful for things that
Speaker 1: we don't even think about. And it just touched me
Speaker 1: so much, because you know, I know what it's like
Speaker 1: to be in a place. There's a line where he says,
Speaker 1: I've got love and assurance. I've got new health insurance,
Speaker 1: and I've got strength and endurance. So I count my blessings.
Speaker 1: I know what it's like to not have health insurance
Speaker 1: and be sick. Let me tell you something. Just get
Speaker 1: into this song, okay, to touch you, let it annoint you,
Speaker 1: let it get into your spirit, and be grateful and
Speaker 1: be reflective and counter blessings. Let's get into the Songho runs.
Speaker 1: I've got new heather and shore runs. I've got strength
Speaker 1: on dr Runs. So I called my blessing and give
Speaker 1: thanks to the master that drew Wall the disaster. We're
Speaker 1: still here together after bets, I called your blessings, God, God.
Speaker 1: Now let's go ahead and get on into this show,
Speaker 1: shall we. So as I was thinking about my next topic,
Speaker 1: I got kind of stuck and I was talking to
Speaker 1: my cousin Randall, who is my eternal boo. It's one
Speaker 1: of my favorite people in the world. Hey, Random, I
Speaker 1: was talking to him about what I should do, and
Speaker 1: he said, what about a show focused on gratitude. You know,
Speaker 1: we're in a dark place and this will be good. Now.
Speaker 1: Keep in mind, this was before the George Floyd stuff
Speaker 1: all happened, right, And so I pondered that, and I
Speaker 1: thought about how and why, and we kind of agreed
Speaker 1: that this is kind of what the world needs right now.
Speaker 1: And then this week happened, and that was the straw
Speaker 1: that broke the camel's back yet again. This poor camel, Jesus,
Speaker 1: this camel's back has been broken so many times his
Speaker 1: spine has basically sawed us at this point, so of
Speaker 1: course we all know. At this point, you should know
Speaker 1: that another innocent black man was murdered on camera for
Speaker 1: the world to see by a police officer, a white
Speaker 1: police officer, and all hell has broken loose once more,
Speaker 1: yet again, and the saga continues. So at this point,
Speaker 1: I'm thinking, now I need to do a show about
Speaker 1: all of this. It's my obligation. I'm a black person,
Speaker 1: I'm a black woman. I got to do this and Now,
Speaker 1: keep in mind, I had already completed and prepped about
Speaker 1: eighty eighty to eighty five excuse me, percent of today's
Speaker 1: episode and decided in that very moment I had to
Speaker 1: change everything and do something else. And so I started
Speaker 1: prep work for a show. It was going to be
Speaker 1: called Fight the Power. So then I was like, how
Speaker 1: can I make this interesting and not just a show
Speaker 1: where I'm complaining about white people that are racist and
Speaker 1: white privilege in America and being angry and tired and
Speaker 1: fed up Because I don't really want that energy for
Speaker 1: my listeners, because that energy is just everywhere, like when
Speaker 1: you go outside you can kind of feel it. These
Speaker 1: things are given, like I don't really want that. And
Speaker 1: if you are not tired up and angry, baby, this
Speaker 1: ain't the show for you, click out, go listen to
Speaker 1: something else, because this ain't for you. Now, when I
Speaker 1: say that, I don't mean that this episode isn't for you.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying that, in general, the compassion that you
Speaker 1: need to have when innocent people are being killed by
Speaker 1: the so called leaders of their communities, like you should
Speaker 1: be fed up and tired of that. I don't care
Speaker 1: what you look like. So I talked to my big sister.
Speaker 1: By the way, if you don't know who she is,
Speaker 1: you need to do yourself a favor and find out.
Speaker 1: Her name is Angelica and she is also known as
Speaker 1: the Village Auntie to the rest of the world, and
Speaker 1: the world definitely knows who she is. You should check
Speaker 1: her out. And of course there's going to be a
Speaker 1: link to her Instagram page in my show notes. And
Speaker 1: if you know like I do, you will go find
Speaker 1: out who she is and what she does and what
Speaker 1: she's about, because she is the magic any who. We
Speaker 1: were talking and I told her I didn't know what
Speaker 1: to do, and she said, you know, you don't have
Speaker 1: to do a show about anything you don't want to do,
Speaker 1: And then she proceeded to say that and I quote,
Speaker 1: I would say, continue with what you were going to discuss,
Speaker 1: because gratitude is important, especially in moments like this, and
Speaker 1: as a black woman, you are not obligated to shift
Speaker 1: everything in your life because the world is burning. We
Speaker 1: carry enough. Do your show the way you need to.
Speaker 1: I think a show talking about gratitude in the midst
Speaker 1: of all of this could be a bomb. But whatever
Speaker 1: you decide, I support you. End quote. Let me just
Speaker 1: say that it is so good, in such a blessing,
Speaker 1: and I am so grateful. Come on gratitude. I'm so
Speaker 1: grateful to have people in my corner and people who
Speaker 1: love me, who actually know me at my core, and
Speaker 1: who can bring me back to who I really am
Speaker 1: when I'm trying to step outside of my true self
Speaker 1: and just be much. Because I'm gonna tell you sometimes
Speaker 1: I can be a bit dramatic and sometimes be much.
Speaker 1: She kind of just reeled me in, and it just
Speaker 1: reminded me to just be me. Just be me. I
Speaker 1: don't need to be anybody else. I don't need to
Speaker 1: feel obligated. I just need to be me. And I
Speaker 1: appreciate that, and I'm grateful, and in choosing to trust
Speaker 1: my gut and my big sis, I still feel like
Speaker 1: I have to say something. And I saw this quote
Speaker 1: on Twitter. You gotta love black Twitter. I saw this
Speaker 1: quote on Twitter by It says at Quinta Brunson or
Speaker 1: Quinta Brunson and the quote is in our quote or
Speaker 1: the tweet is excuse me in our quote. Being black
Speaker 1: is having a good day and then seeing another black
Speaker 1: person was killed for no reason. Then you have to
Speaker 1: think about and talk about that all day, or you
Speaker 1: don't and then you numb yourself. Either way, it's a
Speaker 1: constant emotional war that is a whole fact. As I said,
Speaker 1: I still want to just honor the spirit in the
Speaker 1: lives of George Floyd, Brianna Taylor, and a mod Areberry
Speaker 1: with a moment of silence, And during this moment, if
Speaker 1: you could just silently say their names, just sam to yourself,
Speaker 1: and just ask your higher power to protect their souls
Speaker 1: and to let those who have had their hands directly
Speaker 1: or indirectly in the pot of evil, blood and death
Speaker 1: that is responsible for them no longer being here on
Speaker 1: this earth, along with countless other innocent black people who
Speaker 1: have died at the hands of law enforcement. I want
Speaker 1: those people to feel the wrath, whatever wrath you choose
Speaker 1: to send their way, send it, okay, or just send
Speaker 1: it to your higher power and let them take care
Speaker 1: of it. That's just how I feel. Just you know,
Speaker 1: just send it, send it up, as DeAngelo said, send
Speaker 1: it up and send it through. So if you will
Speaker 1: please join me now for a moment of silence. Okay,
Speaker 1: thank you so much. Amen. I mean, I Shay, let's
Speaker 1: move on. I kind of feel like we need a
Speaker 1: chin check. And the way that I'm speaking of is
Speaker 1: basically the entire world. We need a reminder of just
Speaker 1: how blessed we are, because I can promise you that
Speaker 1: a lot of us forget on a daily basis just
Speaker 1: how good of a life we actually live, and we
Speaker 1: forget without even realizing that we have forgotten. Let's first
Speaker 1: start off by defining exactly what gratitude is. By definition,
Speaker 1: gratitude is a noun. It is the quality of being
Speaker 1: thankful and or readiness to show appreciation for and to
Speaker 1: return kindness. Also on former Vice President Al Gore's Internet,
Speaker 1: I found this explanation of what gratitude is. Gratitude is
Speaker 1: an emotion of thankfulness that may be experienced toward a person, animal,
Speaker 1: or deity. Gratitude can also describe a general feeling of
Speaker 1: thankfulness for life itself or for good aspects of life.
Speaker 1: Side note, whoever wrote this, let me tell you something.
Speaker 1: White people love animals, don't they. Jesus Christ Almighty knows
Speaker 1: they love an animal. Now, not to say Black people
Speaker 1: don't love animals, because some of y'all like y'all animals too,
Speaker 1: But if it came down to an animal or family member,
Speaker 1: not a family member. You don't like, man, that dog
Speaker 1: gonna be outside. They love animals. And since I've been home,
Speaker 1: I've been watching a lot of TV. I watch a
Speaker 1: lot of Ion television. Okay, I watch a lot of NCISLA,
Speaker 1: and I watch a lot of Freaking Chicago PD and
Speaker 1: they have those commercials and it's not the Sarah McLaughlin ones.
Speaker 1: This is a whole different as PCA commercial. And I
Speaker 1: just be like, damn, they love these damn animals. Anyway,
Speaker 1: I digress. So for me, in practice, I see gratitude
Speaker 1: as a verb. So you know, by definition it as
Speaker 1: a noun, but in practice, gratitude is a verb. It's
Speaker 1: an action word. I feel the emotion and the feeling
Speaker 1: of gratitude, but where when excuse me, there it's gratitude.
Speaker 1: In practice, I'm showing up and I'm displaying the effects
Speaker 1: of those emotions and or feelings. And it seems that
Speaker 1: there has been an insurgence over the past maybe five
Speaker 1: to seven years or so, just focusing on gratitude as
Speaker 1: a trend. But this is a good trend, and it's
Speaker 1: a trend. I think that it's healing for the world,
Speaker 1: and I want you to just stop for a second
Speaker 1: and just think about the miserable people you know. And
Speaker 1: we all know miserable people, so don't front neck like
Speaker 1: I don't know any miserable people. No, you do. And
Speaker 1: if you don't know anything, it might be usas or bro,
Speaker 1: it might be you. But think about it, get one
Speaker 1: in your mind. Just somebody. It could be a co worker,
Speaker 1: It could be a family member, it could be a friend,
Speaker 1: it could be anybody. But making somebody you know at
Speaker 1: least fairly well, do they practice gratitude in any way,
Speaker 1: shape or form. Do they live a life of thanks
Speaker 1: and of gratefulness? More than likely no, And that could
Speaker 1: be contributing to their misery. How about that? People don't
Speaker 1: think about things like that, which is very interesting to me,
Speaker 1: And it seems like for me the world kind of
Speaker 1: lacks gratitude and has a sense of or a spirit
Speaker 1: of entitlement. And part of me believes that that is
Speaker 1: because some people see or may see gratitude as a
Speaker 1: form of vulnerability or expressing gratitude as a form of vulnerability.
Speaker 1: But gratitude and expressing gratitude does not always have to
Speaker 1: be about the other person. You don't have to always
Speaker 1: look at it like that. It can very well be
Speaker 1: about you. And the reason that I say that is
Speaker 1: because you benefit. You can benefit by having a grateful
Speaker 1: spirit and expressing gratitude. We're gonna get to that later,
Speaker 1: but I just want you to keep that in your mind,
Speaker 1: like file that away for now. But expressing gratitude and
Speaker 1: being grateful and being thankful. Of course, it is about
Speaker 1: sharing your feelings of gratitude and thankfulness with others and
Speaker 1: with other entities and deities and animals and people, as
Speaker 1: they said in the definition, but it really can be
Speaker 1: about your spirit. So just file that away and we'll
Speaker 1: get back to that a little later. I want to
Speaker 1: thank me. I want to thank me for believing in me.
Speaker 1: I want to thank me for doing all this hard work.
Speaker 1: I want to thank me for having no days off.
Speaker 1: I want to thank me for never quitting. I want
Speaker 1: to thank me for always being a giver and trying
Speaker 1: to give more than I receive. I want to thank
Speaker 1: me for trying to do more right than wrong. I
Speaker 1: want to thank me for just being me at all times. Now, listen,
Speaker 1: take a pause for the cause, and thank Uncle Calvin
Speaker 1: aka Snoop Dog for just teaching us a lesson right there. Now.
Speaker 1: When I think of times where I have lacked gratitude
Speaker 1: the most in my life, it was probably as a teenager.
Speaker 1: And you know, I have said many times that I
Speaker 1: work with teenagers. I work at a school grade six
Speaker 1: through twelve, and teenagers are some of the most self absorbed,
Speaker 1: selfish people that I have ever met in my life.
Speaker 1: They're very ungrateful. And my parents is always tell me
Speaker 1: that I was ungrateful, and I'd be like, what are
Speaker 1: they talking about? But the truth of the matter is
Speaker 1: that they were probably right. Now that I'm older and
Speaker 1: I work with kids like kids are ridiculous, So I
Speaker 1: was probably ungrateful just on gp because that's just what
Speaker 1: teenagers do. And that is the time in my life
Speaker 1: where I think that I is the most ungrateful. That's
Speaker 1: the time that sticks out to me the most. But
Speaker 1: I'm sure that there are lots of instances where I
Speaker 1: have not shown gratitude in my life because I'm a
Speaker 1: human being and I am definitely not perfect. However, I
Speaker 1: do try to live a life wherein I am in
Speaker 1: a state of gratefulness or a state of gratitude when
Speaker 1: I think about it, like, I try to really be
Speaker 1: that way, because I truly understand that. Honey, I got
Speaker 1: a testimony. Do you understand me? And I understand that
Speaker 1: I truly don't. I don't even know if I deserve,
Speaker 1: but I understand that my life does not and did
Speaker 1: not have to be what it is. God is good,
Speaker 1: okay all the time and all the time. I'm listening,
Speaker 1: And you know what, if you didn't say the rest
Speaker 1: of that phrase with me, then I question who you
Speaker 1: are as a human, as a human being, as a
Speaker 1: black human, especially filled with joy, enlightenment and eternalized sunshine.
Speaker 1: Because we know that that phrase, it's a staple in
Speaker 1: the you know what. Never mind, I don't have time
Speaker 1: for that. I'm not doing that. Shall I proceed? Yes? Indeed,
Speaker 1: you know, I believe that expressing gratitude is cathartic. And
Speaker 1: just think about how you feel when you sit still
Speaker 1: and you just think about how blessed you are. If
Speaker 1: you grew up in church, especially in a black church,
Speaker 1: think about how you feel when the pastors or the
Speaker 1: preachers start talking about how God has blessed you. And
Speaker 1: maybe you don't have to have grown up in church,
Speaker 1: but if you just sit still and think about how
Speaker 1: blessed or some people call it luck or fate or
Speaker 1: whatever it is. How whatever that is, you are, you
Speaker 1: should start to feel light and even feel a sense
Speaker 1: of freedom. Gratitude also helps us with our mental health.
Speaker 1: It also helps to aid our mental health in a
Speaker 1: positive way. So people who frequently feel and expressed gratitude
Speaker 1: tend to be happy than other people. And that's what
Speaker 1: I meant by freeing yourself up. It frees some energy
Speaker 1: up in your spirit, and even if their life circumstances
Speaker 1: are objectively more challenging, they tend to be happier. That
Speaker 1: lends proof to the concept that rich people can have
Speaker 1: all the money in the world and still be miserable
Speaker 1: and unhappy. But you could go to the projects and
Speaker 1: you can see some of the happiest people you've ever
Speaker 1: seen in your life. They are having a good time.
Speaker 1: You know, they're laughing, They're in a state of joy
Speaker 1: and elation. And you want to know why. It's because
Speaker 1: more often than rich people, poor people are truly grateful
Speaker 1: for what they do have, and without even trying, they're grateful.
Speaker 1: And that's usually because you know, oftentimes they're in survival
Speaker 1: mode or the world makes them feel like they're in
Speaker 1: a state of lack, so what they have they tend
Speaker 1: to cherish. I know a lot of the poor people
Speaker 1: that I know or shoot, when my ass was poor,
Speaker 1: I was so grateful for anything. You can give me
Speaker 1: some cup of noodles and I'm going to be very happy.
Speaker 1: I talk about a couple of noodles a lot on
Speaker 1: this show, and I don't know why, because, like I said,
Speaker 1: I don't eat no cup of noodles. I eat ramen
Speaker 1: out of the pack, and it is fancy ramen out
Speaker 1: of the pack. I don't even know what's in it
Speaker 1: because it's not even in English. Anyway, I digress as usual.
Speaker 1: You know. To get the full benefits of gratitude, we
Speaker 1: have to incorporate it in our daily existence. We need
Speaker 1: to practice it consistently, and we must be intentional about
Speaker 1: the practice of gratitude. So that means that we have
Speaker 1: to figure out a way to carve out time in
Speaker 1: our busy schedule to express gratitude and to feel that
Speaker 1: energy and that emotion of gratitude. Even if we're busy.
Speaker 1: You should never be too busy to say a simple
Speaker 1: thank you to somebody, even if that's all you say
Speaker 1: is thank you out loud to someone else, or just
Speaker 1: say it when you're by yourself, because somebody, something, some
Speaker 1: entity the universe will feel the energy, will hear it.
Speaker 1: And I know we're all busy, but we gotta find
Speaker 1: the time because remember what Snoop Dog taught us. You
Speaker 1: know it's about us, right And it doesn't have to
Speaker 1: be a grandiose form of expression. It could be in
Speaker 1: the shower or I do it, or in the car
Speaker 1: on the way to work. You could write in the journal.
Speaker 1: One thing I tend to do is when I am
Speaker 1: able to carve out some extra time to write my journal,
Speaker 1: I have an entry specifically about gratitude, and I just
Speaker 1: list out every and anything that I can think of
Speaker 1: that I'm grateful for in that moment. So my toes,
Speaker 1: my hair compression, socks, strong casts, all of the things, man,
Speaker 1: all of the things like whatever I can think of.
Speaker 1: And another way that you could be intentional is by
Speaker 1: making a gratitude box. I got this idea from one
Speaker 1: of my good good friends, Susie Hey. Shug get a box,
Speaker 1: a fancy box from Amazon or Michael's or TJ Max,
Speaker 1: or just get an old shoe box, tape it up
Speaker 1: you can decorate it if you want to cut a
Speaker 1: hole in the top of it. Every single day when
Speaker 1: you wake up or before you go to bed, write
Speaker 1: something on a post it note or a piece of paper,
Speaker 1: cut it up if you want. It's probably easier to
Speaker 1: just get posted and write something that you're grateful for.
Speaker 1: If it's easier for you to do this while you're
Speaker 1: at work at your desk, if you are free, then
Speaker 1: do it. Then every day, set a timer to do it.
Speaker 1: And if there are repeats in the box, so what,
Speaker 1: it's fine. And at the end of the month or
Speaker 1: sixty days or ninety days or whenever you want to
Speaker 1: do it, you open the box and you read each
Speaker 1: note and you read it out loud, and immediately you
Speaker 1: will start to feel different. You'll be filled with gratitude
Speaker 1: because here you're looking at thirty sixty ninety. You know
Speaker 1: things to be grateful for in your life. And it
Speaker 1: doesn't have to be anything outlandish, like I'm grateful that
Speaker 1: I want the lotto. Do they even still have the
Speaker 1: damn lotto? I'm totally dating myself, but whatever, Or I'm
Speaker 1: grateful that I'm able to go on a cruise to
Speaker 1: the Meta Terranean It doesn't have to be that stern.
Speaker 1: It really doesn't. It could be. I'm grateful that I
Speaker 1: have feet. I'm grateful that my knees don't hurt today.
Speaker 1: Start small. I'm grateful for the breath in my body.
Speaker 1: I'm grateful that I woke up today. That's a big
Speaker 1: one that people take for granted. I'm telling you, I'm
Speaker 1: grateful that I woke up today because somebody did not. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm grateful for my job. I'm thankful for my co workers,
Speaker 1: even the ones that I don't like. I am grateful
Speaker 1: for gas in my car. I am grateful for my car.
Speaker 1: I'm grateful for clean drinking water. And I say that
Speaker 1: to say. I say these things to say these are
Speaker 1: things that so often we take for granted. I'm grateful
Speaker 1: for soap. I'm grateful for socks. I'm grateful for sunscreen.
Speaker 1: I'm grateful for wine. Please be advised that I am
Speaker 1: grateful for soap, sunscreen, and wine. Okay, those are things
Speaker 1: that are very important to me. I'm grateful for on
Speaker 1: demand cable or Netflix, or for the little brother or
Speaker 1: cousin who lets me use not me because I don't
Speaker 1: do this. Who lets you use their Netflix account. How
Speaker 1: about that man? All those things we got account it
Speaker 1: all joy a, Men, Amen and amen, be very clear.
Speaker 1: Those are all blessings and all things that we should
Speaker 1: be grateful for. And it might be hard at first
Speaker 1: because as a society, I believe that we are trained
Speaker 1: to focus on the negative aspects of our lives, when
Speaker 1: in actuality, we are so blessed, like beyond our own understanding.
Speaker 1: And doing these exercises will start to program your brain
Speaker 1: and your spirit and your energy to look for the
Speaker 1: good in each moment of your life, and in doing so,
Speaker 1: you will then attract more good moments to your life.
Speaker 1: Remember before when I said it's about you. Make it
Speaker 1: about you, and people can call you selfish and self
Speaker 1: centering and all that stuff or I don't really give us.
Speaker 1: I don't really care like what they say. I'm trying
Speaker 1: to I don't know if you notice, but I'm trying
Speaker 1: to work on my cousin. Okay, I'm trying to work
Speaker 1: on my cousin because some of my family members said, oh,
Speaker 1: I didn't know me. Me cuss so much. I don't
Speaker 1: know how they didn't know, because I'm a potty mouth, filthy, pirate, whore,
Speaker 1: but they didn't know for some reason. So I'm trying to,
Speaker 1: you know, be better with that. Right. But what I'm
Speaker 1: saying is this is how like you take your power back,
Speaker 1: This is how you make it about you. I want
Speaker 1: more good moments, So I'm going to be grateful and
Speaker 1: express gratitude for the things that I already have, because
Speaker 1: I'm a firm believer that if you are not appreciative
Speaker 1: of what you already have, God, your universe, the head
Speaker 1: of cabbage that we've been talking about, whatever it is,
Speaker 1: you ain't gonna get no more. So you gotta be
Speaker 1: grateful and show gratitude so you can get some more
Speaker 1: good stuff. Right. It's all a part of a master plan.
Speaker 1: Let me go to church real quick. It's all a
Speaker 1: part of the master's plan. Hallelu all right, all right,
Speaker 1: it's all a part of your master plan, I should say.
Speaker 1: And nobody has control of your master plan over your
Speaker 1: life except for you. So take your power back and
Speaker 1: start grateful, because intentional gratitude becomes a means of manifestation.
Speaker 1: And we don't even recognize, you know, like how powerful
Speaker 1: we are and how much control we can have over
Speaker 1: our lives just by way of our thoughts and our words.
Speaker 1: Don't get me started. Okay, I ain't even gonna go
Speaker 1: there because that's a whole another show for another time,
Speaker 1: and we will definitely have that show because manifestation and
Speaker 1: the power of your thoughts and your words, that's a
Speaker 1: real thing. People can think it's a hoax and it's,
Speaker 1: you know, a bunch of bollocks or rubbish or whatever
Speaker 1: you want to call it, a bunch of bs. That's
Speaker 1: a lie. It is real. So friends, and can I
Speaker 1: have a treat for you guys? Remember last shows question
Speaker 1: from Miss Lavo, Well, she has emailed me an update
Speaker 1: from that last question and I just had to share
Speaker 1: it with you guys. So I have a treat for
Speaker 1: you guys. I'm gonna go ahead and read that and
Speaker 1: then I'll get into the actual straight facts question for
Speaker 1: today's show. But I definitely wanted to give you this
Speaker 1: update because that question was so awesome. It was so good.
Speaker 1: So Miss Lavo says, Hi, there, I wanted to update
Speaker 1: you on my experience since you gave me some advice.
Speaker 1: There was actually no need for it because I discovered
Speaker 1: some things about one night stand. She's gonna get this
Speaker 1: man the name one night stand. You know what, don't
Speaker 1: do that to him. Since I discovered some things about
Speaker 1: one night stand that gave me cause for concern, I
Speaker 1: stumbled upon his social media. Amazing what you can find
Speaker 1: with just the first name, address and day of birth.
Speaker 1: Let gonna tell you something. Women don't be playing especially
Speaker 1: black women, do not be playing with people here. Look, brothers,
Speaker 1: we don't be playing with y'all. So don't play with us,
Speaker 1: okay unless you want to get played with. Amazing what
Speaker 1: you can find with just a first name, address and
Speaker 1: day to birth. And realize that his social media presence
Speaker 1: is very different from who he presented in person. He
Speaker 1: sent a representative on social media. He seems very shallow,
Speaker 1: fairly concerned with appearances, and wants to project that he
Speaker 1: is in the streets living a lavish life. And he
Speaker 1: wears sunglasses at night. Yes, he is that guy. Let
Speaker 1: me tell you something. I hate a mofo wearing sunglasses
Speaker 1: at night or inside of a building. It gets on
Speaker 1: my gut jam nerves. Unless you are a puff daddy,
Speaker 1: don't do that anyway. So that's a hard pass for me.
Speaker 1: While I enjoyed our evening together, I have no desire
Speaker 1: to reconnect with him. I can check this off of
Speaker 1: my bucket list, but that will be about it. I
Speaker 1: wish him the best, and I thank you for the
Speaker 1: advice you gave me, but I will be keeping this
Speaker 1: at just a one night stand. Thanks miss Lavo. Now
Speaker 1: you see that's what I told her. I told her
Speaker 1: to just chill out, don't be performed to be your boyfriend,
Speaker 1: like you don't even know him. You don't know his
Speaker 1: last name, Like, just calm down and just let this
Speaker 1: play out. And look what happened when she did, she
Speaker 1: realized she don't even like this bum. He wears sunglasses
Speaker 1: at night and inside of buildings. We don't do that. Ladies,
Speaker 1: if your dude is wearing sunglasses at night or inside
Speaker 1: of a building that does not have a major led
Speaker 1: light situation, you gotta let him know, Like, babe, you
Speaker 1: gotta stop doing this because you know, like it's a
Speaker 1: bad look. Unless he got like one eye or like
Speaker 1: his eyes like really lazy, like Biggie could do it
Speaker 1: because he's got that eye music soul child, he could
Speaker 1: do it because you know the eye. But nobody should
Speaker 1: wear be wearing inside sunglasses. It's got to stop. It's
Speaker 1: like an epidemic. Stop it. Moving on, let's get into
Speaker 1: stray facts. So today's question is pretty serious question. We
Speaker 1: haven't had a question I don't think serious like this ship,
Speaker 1: So let me get into it. Hey, I'm writing today
Speaker 1: because I have a friend problem that's been bugging me
Speaker 1: for a while now. My closest friend struggles with being bipolar.
Speaker 1: We found out a few years ago. She's taken a
Speaker 1: few medications that regulated her illness, but she didn't like them.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure if she's still taking them or if
Speaker 1: she has come off of them altogether, because we don't
Speaker 1: live near each other for me to lay eyes on
Speaker 1: her and know for sure. Anyway, about six months ago,
Speaker 1: we hit a real snag in our friendship. She was
Speaker 1: supposed to come up to visit me for an event.
Speaker 1: We had talked about it for weeks. We were both
Speaker 1: very excited about it. The morning of the event, she
Speaker 1: texts me saying she wasn't coming. She hadn't even gone
Speaker 1: to the airport to attempt to catch her flight. She
Speaker 1: said it was related to her anxiety. I was devastated
Speaker 1: because I really wanted to experience this event with her,
Speaker 1: but I ended up going with some other friends and
Speaker 1: had an absolutely amazing time. We haven't talked in all
Speaker 1: of these months, and when we finally did last night,
Speaker 1: she basically told me she didn't understand why I was
Speaker 1: so upset, because she knew I would be fine and
Speaker 1: I would figure it out. She has done this to
Speaker 1: me a number of times and to a number of
Speaker 1: our friends. I know she struggles with mental illness, but
Speaker 1: it's hard to maintain a relationship with someone who is
Speaker 1: rarely fully present and can justify her inability to be
Speaker 1: there by using these struggles. I want to have a
Speaker 1: conversation and be as delicate as I can be, but
Speaker 1: I don't want to walk away feeling unheard. Myself help
Speaker 1: friendless in Seattle chair, Listen, this is hard. Let me
Speaker 1: tell you something. This is hard if she really got
Speaker 1: some mental health and it's like that, like she's taking
Speaker 1: medication and stuff like. This is a hard, hard one.
Speaker 1: This is a difficult one. But I will say this, like,
Speaker 1: I understand that your friend has mental illness, and you know,
Speaker 1: I understand that she has all these struggles, but what
Speaker 1: about you, Like you have feelings, and your feelings are
Speaker 1: valid and you have the right to express yourself. My
Speaker 1: aunt told me. You know, I'm always talking about aunties.
Speaker 1: My aunt Sherl told me when I was about eighteen
Speaker 1: or nineteen, there was an incident where one of our
Speaker 1: elders made me cry and I wouldn't dare say anything
Speaker 1: back to them. And I called my aunt crying, and
Speaker 1: she said, well, why didn't you just say to them,
Speaker 1: you know you hurt my feelings, or why didn't you
Speaker 1: just talk to them and you know, express yourself and
Speaker 1: say that's not what happened. Or I don't understand why
Speaker 1: you're yelling at me, I said, because then everybody would
Speaker 1: have found out I said that, and then I would
Speaker 1: have gotten trouble. Keep in mind, I'm like nineteen twenty
Speaker 1: years old. My aunt told me that day, and it
Speaker 1: has actually come back to by her right now, but
Speaker 1: that you can say anything you want to anybody as
Speaker 1: long as you are not disrespectful. That has come back
Speaker 1: to by her and her but I love her, But
Speaker 1: I say that to say to you friendless in Seattle,
Speaker 1: that you can say whatever you want to her, as
Speaker 1: long as you are not being malicious, if you are
Speaker 1: not being disrespectful, if you are speaking from love and
Speaker 1: with love and with concern and also concern about your
Speaker 1: own feelings. Then I think that you have every right
Speaker 1: to do that. Now I can't guarantee whether you will
Speaker 1: feel unhurt or not, but you know, at the end
Speaker 1: of the day, what is more important. Is it important
Speaker 1: that you let your friend know, Hey, when you do this,
Speaker 1: you know, this is how it makes me feel. Because
Speaker 1: it's not that she has a processing deficit or that
Speaker 1: she can't understand. She does have some chemical imbalances, but
Speaker 1: I do believe that if she is on medication and
Speaker 1: she can be in a space where she's understanding what's
Speaker 1: going on, I think it's only right that you tell
Speaker 1: her so that not just about you, but if you
Speaker 1: care about her, so that she's just not going around
Speaker 1: wild and for respect like that, treating people like that,
Speaker 1: because then she'll look up, she won't have anybody, and
Speaker 1: that's a very dark place for somebody who has meant
Speaker 1: major mental health issues. So I think it's only right
Speaker 1: that you say to her how you feel. But just
Speaker 1: be mindful of how you say it. Not only say
Speaker 1: it to her how you would want somebody to say
Speaker 1: it to you, but take a little extra precaution. Don't
Speaker 1: sugarcoat or anything don't lie, don't be passive aggressive, say
Speaker 1: what you need to say, but just be delicate with
Speaker 1: what you say, because not what you say, but how
Speaker 1: you say it. Excuse me because you know she's dealing
Speaker 1: with some other things. Girl, Good luck, child, Good luck
Speaker 1: that one has had v This is why black people
Speaker 1: got to go to therapy. We got to go to
Speaker 1: therapy because we got to heal this stuff. Now we
Speaker 1: do so. After that message and that question for today's
Speaker 1: we gotta do better, I'm gonna give y'all some tips
Speaker 1: for some good feelings. Okay, And I got this from
Speaker 1: an account I follow on Instagram, and I want to
Speaker 1: say his name is Joel Leon or Leon and the
Speaker 1: account is at j O E l A k A
Speaker 1: m ag. So he posted something and I saved it
Speaker 1: because I just loved it, and he called it. Pro
Speaker 1: tips Pro tip number one, pay attention to the things
Speaker 1: that make your heart leap. Pro tip number two name
Speaker 1: the energy that they conjure. Pro tip number three, Write
Speaker 1: them down, make note of them. Pro tip number four
Speaker 1: keep doing those things. The one that sticks out the
Speaker 1: most to me is name the energy that they conjure,
Speaker 1: because earlier in the show, I made mention of manifestation
Speaker 1: in your words and your thoughts, and how we have
Speaker 1: so much more power over our lives than we think.
Speaker 1: But there's something to be said about naming things. When
Speaker 1: you give something a name, when you speak that name,
Speaker 1: you give it power. Listen, I'm going to read those
Speaker 1: pro tips one more time. Pro tip number one, pay
Speaker 1: attention to the things that make your heart leap. Number
Speaker 1: two name the energy that they conjure. Three write them
Speaker 1: down and make note of them for keep doing those things.
Speaker 1: Number three is another one. Writing stuff down. Listen, you
Speaker 1: better write it down, write the vision and make it plain. Now.
Speaker 1: Ain't that in a song or is it in the Bible?
Speaker 1: I don't really know. I've told you before. I'm not
Speaker 1: really good at the Bible, but I do know that
Speaker 1: I heard it before. And my friend Aaron, who actually
Speaker 1: is part of the main reason that I'm even doing
Speaker 1: this podcast, she used to always say it all the
Speaker 1: time and now it's stuck on me. Write it down, Listen.
Speaker 1: This was a good one. I'm going to start doing
Speaker 1: this immediately. Friends and Ken, I just want to say
Speaker 1: thank you, and like I can't say thank you enough.
Speaker 1: This show was really good for me and I hope
Speaker 1: that it's good for you, and just expect some extra
Speaker 1: stuff coming out of it, right because I have some
Speaker 1: other gratitude rituals that I'm going to share on the
Speaker 1: Instagram page later on this week or maybe next week,
Speaker 1: so be looking for those. But you know how I roll.
Speaker 1: The first thing I want to do is I want
Speaker 1: to thank God first, because you know, it's kind of
Speaker 1: what we do, and I want to talk about what
Speaker 1: I'm grateful for, just briefly, so many things. I have
Speaker 1: to make sure that I close out my show with
Speaker 1: an energy of gratitude and giving thanks for just this
Speaker 1: whole situation. I'm grateful for the opportunity to be before
Speaker 1: you and sharing my thoughts with you. I am grateful
Speaker 1: that you are listening, because if you weren't listening, I
Speaker 1: would just be talking for no reason, and I don't
Speaker 1: really want to do that. I'm grateful for your time
Speaker 1: and your energy because I do not take for granted
Speaker 1: that you could be spending it somewhere else doing something else.
Speaker 1: I am very, very thankful. I am grateful to my
Speaker 1: family and my friends that support me. I am grateful
Speaker 1: to you guys again just for listening. Like I can't
Speaker 1: say that too many times. I really can't, and I
Speaker 1: can't wait until the next night we get to do
Speaker 1: this again, which will be on the fifteenth of June. Now,
Speaker 1: before you exit out of whatever streaming services you're using
Speaker 1: to listen to this, I want you to stop, go
Speaker 1: click subscribe or follow if it's possible, and then I
Speaker 1: want you to get on over to Instagram and follow
Speaker 1: me there at hand Me My Purse Underscore Podcast. You
Speaker 1: can also follow me on Twitter. I'm starting to get
Speaker 1: more into Twitter now at HMMP Underscore podcast, So HMMP
Speaker 1: like hand Me My Purse, and on Facebook just search
Speaker 1: hand Me My Purse podcast. And if you happen to
Speaker 1: listen on Apple Podcasts or any other medium that allows
Speaker 1: you to please rate and review the show, I will
Speaker 1: love you for it. Show notes will be available at
Speaker 1: hand Me My Purse dot buzzsprout dot com. Also, if
Speaker 1: you don't want to look for it that way, the
Speaker 1: easiest way is to go to the Instagram account, the
Speaker 1: profile and click the link in the bio and it'll
Speaker 1: take you to all of those things, all of these
Speaker 1: lovely things. I want you to submit your questions for
Speaker 1: the straight fact segment photos and stories and quotes from
Speaker 1: your aunties to Hello at Hammympurse dot com or you
Speaker 1: can send me a dam on Instagram, whichever you fancy.
Speaker 1: I also want you guys to know that I kind
Speaker 1: of want you guys to incorporate a gratitude practice starting
Speaker 1: this week. Don't forget to watch Insecure tonight. And I'm
Speaker 1: probably going to post about Insecure on Monday, which is today.
Speaker 1: It's not today because I'm not recording it today, but
Speaker 1: I'm going to post about Insecure on the day that
Speaker 1: this episode drops so that we can have a little
Speaker 1: check in about the past three episodes, because we haven't
Speaker 1: really dished about it since the block Party episode, so
Speaker 1: look out for that because the last time we had
Speaker 1: a conversation it was really fun. Also, I want Black
Speaker 1: people just love up on each other when you see
Speaker 1: each other, even people you don't know. We need it
Speaker 1: and we need it from one another really bad right now.
Speaker 1: And today I heard a quote a stranger is just
Speaker 1: a friend you haven't met yet, So just be nice
Speaker 1: and spread love. It's the Black folks way. Just spread
Speaker 1: love to one another and love up on one another,
Speaker 1: love up on your children. Black men, we love you
Speaker 1: you are valid, your lives are value. You are important. Sisters.
Speaker 1: I love you. Black men love us, regardless of what
Speaker 1: everybody in the news tries to tell us in the media.
Speaker 1: And these commercials, child, don't get me started on these commercials.
Speaker 1: I need to go back to work, okay, because it's
Speaker 1: too much. I watch a lot of TV while I'm
Speaker 1: working from home. It's on in the background, and I
Speaker 1: see a lot. I'm paying attention to a lot of
Speaker 1: what's going on in mass media. But whatever, that's a
Speaker 1: whole another show and for a whole another time. I
Speaker 1: love you, guys, I appreciate you. Thank you so much,
Speaker 1: Thank you so so much, just for allowing me to
Speaker 1: be in your ears, flavoring you. You're like Craig mac
Speaker 1: oh man, rest in peace, Craig mac anyway, I'm rambling
Speaker 1: at this point, so thank you. And just so you know,
Speaker 1: you can expect a brand new episode of Hand Me
Speaker 1: My Purse the podcast on the first and fifteenth of
Speaker 1: every single month, So the same way you expected those
Speaker 1: checks on the first and the fifteenth early in the morning,
Speaker 1: you already know your girl is gonna have you covered
Speaker 1: on those days again. The first and fifteenth of every
Speaker 1: month on your podcast streaming services such as Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher.
Speaker 1: These are for my international friends and Ken and anywhere
Speaker 1: else you may even think that you can find it,
Speaker 1: or you can just go straight to my bus Sproute
Speaker 1: website and find it there. I look forward to you,
Speaker 1: looking forward to listening, and I'm out visiting