WEBVTT - Finding Your Life Purpose 0:00:03.200 --> 0:00:05.960 What up, guys, it's your girl Cheeky's and you already 0:00:06.000 --> 0:00:08.840 know what time it is. It's time for this week's 0:00:08.880 --> 0:00:12.000 episode of Cheeky's in Chill, and today we're going to 0:00:12.039 --> 0:00:15.600 be talking about something I'm really passionate about, finding your 0:00:15.680 --> 0:00:18.400 life's purpose. This is something I've talked about here and 0:00:18.440 --> 0:00:20.680 there on the pod, but I really never dug into 0:00:20.720 --> 0:00:24.000 it two d. So that's what we're going to do today, 0:00:24.360 --> 0:00:26.560 and I'm bringing someone really dope on the show to 0:00:26.600 --> 0:00:29.360 talk about it with me. His name is Dramos. If 0:00:29.360 --> 0:00:32.080 you don't know him, he's a fellow podcast host here 0:00:32.159 --> 0:00:36.239 on the mic Udura podcast Network. He's also a DJM producer. 0:00:36.600 --> 0:00:40.960 He actually used to produce radio shows like The Breakfast Club. Okay, 0:00:41.080 --> 0:00:45.239 so Hi, welcome to Cheeky's and Chill Dramas. Thank you 0:00:45.320 --> 0:00:46.400 so much for being here. 0:00:46.880 --> 0:00:49.680 Well, thank you. I'm really excited to finally get to 0:00:49.720 --> 0:00:51.000 meet you. And we've been a part of the fan 0:00:51.120 --> 0:00:52.760 for a minute now, so it's good to finally get 0:00:52.800 --> 0:00:53.479 to connect like this. 0:00:54.080 --> 0:00:55.720 Yes, so thank you. I appreciate it. 0:00:55.760 --> 0:00:58.680 And we're going to talk about finding your life's purpose, 0:00:58.680 --> 0:01:01.040 which I know that's something that you talk about a 0:01:01.040 --> 0:01:03.680 lot on your podcast. Yes, so I want my listeners 0:01:03.840 --> 0:01:05.440 to get an idea of who you are. 0:01:05.560 --> 0:01:07.600 So why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself. 0:01:07.680 --> 0:01:08.280 Let's start there. 0:01:08.840 --> 0:01:12.360 Sure, I think, like I don't know, I'm a creator. 0:01:12.480 --> 0:01:14.959 I guess like anybody else. At the end of the day, 0:01:15.360 --> 0:01:18.080 my background kind has always been in music, and that 0:01:18.240 --> 0:01:21.319 sort of led to media, from you know, radio in 0:01:21.360 --> 0:01:24.399 New York to working with the Breakfast Club and now 0:01:24.440 --> 0:01:27.480 hosting my my podcast Life as a Gringo. And I've 0:01:27.560 --> 0:01:30.440 just kind of been on this journey of using my 0:01:30.760 --> 0:01:33.240 I don't know creations as a means of storytelling and 0:01:33.280 --> 0:01:36.840 hopefully adding some value of people's lives and saying yes 0:01:36.880 --> 0:01:39.280 to whatever random opportunities kind of pop up, you know, 0:01:39.360 --> 0:01:43.039 whether it's podcasting or speaking gigs or writing, whatever it is. 0:01:43.040 --> 0:01:46.080 I'm kind of just, you know, experiencing this thing called life, 0:01:46.080 --> 0:01:47.800 and I do a lot of random things that don't 0:01:47.800 --> 0:01:48.920 really make sense to anybody but me. 0:01:48.960 --> 0:01:50.480 I think I love it. 0:01:50.520 --> 0:01:52.040 You're bringing color to our world. 0:01:52.120 --> 0:01:53.720 There we go. I love that. I'm gonna steal that, 0:01:53.720 --> 0:01:56.280 by the way, Yes, go ahead. 0:01:57.120 --> 0:01:58.320 So, okay, where are you from. 0:01:58.800 --> 0:02:02.000 I am from the New York areas, so I claimed 0:02:02.000 --> 0:02:03.880 both New York and New Jersey. I'm one of those 0:02:03.920 --> 0:02:08.520 obnoxious people. I was born in New York, raised there 0:02:08.520 --> 0:02:10.560 as a kid, and then moved to Jersey. But I've 0:02:10.560 --> 0:02:12.239 been kind of back and forth throughout the course of 0:02:12.280 --> 0:02:14.520 my life. So like this is this is home? I 0:02:14.520 --> 0:02:15.560 claimed both states. 0:02:16.080 --> 0:02:17.000 Nice? Love it? 0:02:17.080 --> 0:02:19.960 Okay, I like your style by the way, iking at 0:02:19.960 --> 0:02:22.480 your Instagram and I was like, I love his style, 0:02:22.600 --> 0:02:24.280 and I kind of felt like it has to be 0:02:24.400 --> 0:02:24.840 New York. 0:02:25.480 --> 0:02:28.720 Yeah, yeah, it's the New York influence that's not the 0:02:28.800 --> 0:02:29.520 Jersey influence. 0:02:29.560 --> 0:02:31.560 For sure. Love it. 0:02:32.000 --> 0:02:34.880 So if you had to choose one thing, just one 0:02:34.919 --> 0:02:37.239 thing that you're passionate about, Like what would you say 0:02:37.240 --> 0:02:40.760 that you're absolutely passionate about, like. 0:02:40.800 --> 0:02:45.240 One specific like job or like thing to do, like 0:02:45.360 --> 0:02:46.040 one thing. 0:02:46.600 --> 0:02:49.960 Yeah, or just like what do you feel like because 0:02:49.960 --> 0:02:52.760 we're gonna get into your life your purpose. But if 0:02:52.760 --> 0:02:55.480 there's just one thing that you had to choose and say, hey, 0:02:55.600 --> 0:02:57.360 I'm passionate about this. This is what I feel I 0:02:57.440 --> 0:02:59.640 was made for, Like this is is it music? 0:02:59.760 --> 0:03:01.320 Is it something? Like what moves you? 0:03:02.320 --> 0:03:05.160 I mean I think my first love was music, So 0:03:05.200 --> 0:03:07.440 I always sort of revert back to that it's kind 0:03:07.480 --> 0:03:10.919 of like, you know, the toxic relationship that I can't 0:03:10.919 --> 0:03:13.080 seem to escape no matter how hard I try, Like 0:03:13.120 --> 0:03:15.280 it always just kind of pulls me back in, Like 0:03:15.480 --> 0:03:17.320 I've been running from it for a while and now 0:03:17.320 --> 0:03:19.080 I've just given up, Like I just have to embrace 0:03:19.120 --> 0:03:21.840 the fact that, like I'm always called to it, and 0:03:21.880 --> 0:03:23.880 when it's not a part of my life in some way, 0:03:23.919 --> 0:03:27.200 shape or form, I'm just not you know, myself completely. 0:03:27.280 --> 0:03:29.720 So I guess if I had to, like say one thing, 0:03:29.800 --> 0:03:32.160 music is always that constant tug and pull from me. 0:03:33.200 --> 0:03:36.640 Ah, yeah, I feel you. I feel you in that. Okay, 0:03:36.720 --> 0:03:38.480 So what so what. 0:03:38.760 --> 0:03:40.280 Now that you talked about you know, we are part 0:03:40.280 --> 0:03:43.920 of the familia that my podcast network. Hey, hey, so 0:03:43.960 --> 0:03:46.000 what are the types of things that or the topics 0:03:46.000 --> 0:03:48.080 that you talk about on life as a getting goal? 0:03:48.880 --> 0:03:52.720 So, I mean, I guess like the the initial launching 0:03:52.760 --> 0:03:55.000 point of it was sort of for the people like 0:03:55.080 --> 0:03:58.280 myself will always sort of struggle with not feeling Latin enough, 0:03:58.440 --> 0:04:02.720 you know, and this otherness, if you will, and not 0:04:02.840 --> 0:04:05.320 sort of having you know, a place to call home almost. 0:04:05.360 --> 0:04:07.840 I guess community wise, you know, that they felt accepted 0:04:07.880 --> 0:04:09.880 in a place that they can truly be authentic. So 0:04:10.280 --> 0:04:12.560 for me, it was sort of about creating a space 0:04:12.560 --> 0:04:14.760 that I always want to where I can explore my 0:04:15.240 --> 0:04:18.039 Latin minus whatever that means, and have ties to my culture, 0:04:18.080 --> 0:04:21.400 but not feel judged because I, you know, didn't check 0:04:21.440 --> 0:04:23.680 some sni box that makes you a Latino, you know. 0:04:24.760 --> 0:04:27.640 So that is sort of the basis of the podcast. 0:04:27.680 --> 0:04:29.600 And then I think it's sort of evolved, you know, 0:04:29.640 --> 0:04:31.760 as time has gone on, where it's really a podcast 0:04:31.800 --> 0:04:35.839 about self discovery and the ultimate goal of just trying 0:04:35.839 --> 0:04:38.760 to live life as authentically as humanly possible. So I 0:04:38.760 --> 0:04:42.480 think that's sort of the thesis, I guess of the podcast. 0:04:43.200 --> 0:04:43.680 I love it. 0:04:43.880 --> 0:04:45.599 I love it because I totally get it. 0:04:45.640 --> 0:04:49.799 I've always felt like I wasn't or I didn't feel 0:04:49.839 --> 0:04:53.400 people made me feel like, Okay, you don't talk like 0:04:53.440 --> 0:04:56.479 a Latina, Well what do you what do you mean? 0:04:56.760 --> 0:04:58.320 Like I got that once. I'm like, what are you 0:04:58.440 --> 0:05:00.400 talking about? Like how how am I so used to 0:05:00.760 --> 0:05:03.640 you know a sound? I guess, And and then you know, 0:05:03.720 --> 0:05:05.520 when I started singing, and it was just kind of 0:05:05.560 --> 0:05:08.080 like it is Masia, Yeah, you're more from America, You're 0:05:08.120 --> 0:05:09.840 not from MAXI I'm like dude, what like I love 0:05:09.880 --> 0:05:12.039 on that music, I look like I don't understand you know, 0:05:12.080 --> 0:05:14.440 so I totally get it. So you guys please check 0:05:14.440 --> 0:05:15.960 out life is a good goal because I think a 0:05:16.000 --> 0:05:19.040 lot of you guys will definitely like if you love 0:05:19.160 --> 0:05:20.760 chicken and show, you're gonna love life as a good 0:05:20.760 --> 0:05:22.560 in go And I love how you explained it, So 0:05:22.640 --> 0:05:23.000 thank you. 0:05:22.960 --> 0:05:24.719 For that, because of course do we get it. 0:05:25.080 --> 0:05:27.119 And by the way, what's your sign? 0:05:27.839 --> 0:05:28.520 Aquarius? 0:05:29.720 --> 0:05:29.960 Ah? 0:05:31.480 --> 0:05:33.159 H is that good or bad? I can't tell about 0:05:33.160 --> 0:05:35.000 your reaction? Good? Very okay? 0:05:35.839 --> 0:05:36.080 Good? 0:05:36.160 --> 0:05:39.320 My brother, my little brother is an Aquarius. Very intelligent. 0:05:39.480 --> 0:05:45.799 You guys are very artistic. Also, you guys feel a lot. 0:05:46.200 --> 0:05:48.039 Like not as much as cancers. And I'm a cancer. 0:05:48.080 --> 0:05:51.279 I'm very boy. 0:05:52.320 --> 0:05:55.040 I've had I've had some experiences. 0:05:55.520 --> 0:06:01.120 I'm yes, wait, yes, okay, yes, okay, I'm so glad 0:06:01.160 --> 0:06:03.839 you brought that up. Okay, So was she a June 0:06:03.920 --> 0:06:05.520 cancer or a July cancer? 0:06:06.000 --> 0:06:07.000 July cancer? 0:06:08.240 --> 0:06:11.760 There you go, well, very different, very different. I'm a 0:06:11.839 --> 0:06:14.360 June cancer, but I still got a little I used 0:06:14.360 --> 0:06:15.520 to have a little crazy in me. 0:06:15.600 --> 0:06:16.480 Because that's the thing. 0:06:16.560 --> 0:06:20.600 If we're I'm telling you, I get it because let 0:06:20.640 --> 0:06:25.360 me scratch my head because cancers we are very emotional. 0:06:25.400 --> 0:06:28.679 We feel our feels a lot, so if. 0:06:28.520 --> 0:06:33.720 We are not grounded the moon, it's a lot. So 0:06:34.160 --> 0:06:38.400 I did it. But July cancer is different, very different. 0:06:39.080 --> 0:06:41.160 Rusty, I know, I know, I know, I've learned. 0:06:42.680 --> 0:06:45.479 So anyways, the reason why I brought you on the 0:06:45.520 --> 0:06:48.000 podcast is because I want to talk about not about 0:06:48.040 --> 0:06:49.320 you know, the signs and all that stuff, but I 0:06:49.320 --> 0:06:51.200 love to kind of like get to know people by 0:06:51.279 --> 0:06:55.080 like you know their zodiac sign. But also you talk 0:06:55.120 --> 0:06:59.440 about finding your life's purpose. What does that mean exactly 0:06:59.480 --> 0:07:01.080 to you? 0:07:01.080 --> 0:07:03.919 You know? I think the definition continues to evolve for 0:07:04.040 --> 0:07:06.640 me a little bit as especially as I get older 0:07:06.760 --> 0:07:09.920 and as I kind of my interests begin to broad 0:07:09.960 --> 0:07:12.360 And I think for a while I thought it was 0:07:12.560 --> 0:07:15.200 just sort of like one thing that you do and 0:07:15.280 --> 0:07:18.360 that's your purpose, you know. But I think as time 0:07:18.400 --> 0:07:20.680 has gone on, I think it's far more broad than that, 0:07:20.800 --> 0:07:25.760 and I think you apply your life's purpose to everything 0:07:25.800 --> 0:07:27.360 that you do. It's sort of the lens with which 0:07:27.360 --> 0:07:29.280 you see the world is how I kind of see 0:07:29.320 --> 0:07:33.840 it now. So I think for me, my life's purpose 0:07:34.040 --> 0:07:38.600 is about, you know, creating spaces that didn't exist before. Like, 0:07:38.760 --> 0:07:40.920 in the most broad sense, I think that's what I 0:07:40.960 --> 0:07:43.360 was put here to do, to create spaces that didn't 0:07:43.400 --> 0:07:45.680 exist or to disrupt existing ones that are no longer 0:07:45.720 --> 0:07:48.840 serving us. And I think that's sort of the grand 0:07:48.880 --> 0:07:50.640 scheme vent. And then from there I begin to kind 0:07:50.640 --> 0:07:52.680 of zoom in and refine it and ever find it 0:07:52.720 --> 0:07:54.880 over time, where then it's like, Okay, well, how do 0:07:54.920 --> 0:07:57.400 I go about doing that? And who am I trying 0:07:57.440 --> 0:07:58.800 to serve? You know, who do I want to be 0:07:58.840 --> 0:08:02.600 in community with? I think through that, then it's like, okay, well, 0:08:02.600 --> 0:08:04.920 obviously I want to be a part of my community 0:08:04.960 --> 0:08:06.960 as a Latino, as a Puerto Rican, I want to 0:08:06.960 --> 0:08:09.960 be contributing something to my people, you know, and be 0:08:10.000 --> 0:08:12.840 giving back in that way. And then yeah, it's just 0:08:12.840 --> 0:08:15.000 I think again, it just keeps refining and refining. But 0:08:15.040 --> 0:08:17.760 I think the broader, larger scope of it all is 0:08:17.800 --> 0:08:20.280 I'm somebody who just wants to create spaces that don't 0:08:20.280 --> 0:08:23.760 exist or disrupt ones that I feel we could be 0:08:23.760 --> 0:08:25.360 better at in some sort of way. 0:08:26.360 --> 0:08:27.360 That's that's dope. 0:08:27.440 --> 0:08:30.600 That's tight because it took me a long time, a 0:08:30.640 --> 0:08:34.800 long time to feel good with what I was doing 0:08:35.120 --> 0:08:38.000 because I felt like it would pull me in a 0:08:38.080 --> 0:08:43.000 dark place. And once I learned to separate Cheeky's from Jane, 0:08:43.440 --> 0:08:45.480 you know, Jane is like the person I was born, 0:08:45.480 --> 0:08:47.240 and then Cheeky's is the person that you see on 0:08:47.280 --> 0:08:49.520 social media and on stage and stuff like that. It 0:08:49.559 --> 0:08:52.440 really helped me because I'm like, Okay, I want to 0:08:52.480 --> 0:08:54.600 do this with love. I want to do this to 0:08:54.640 --> 0:08:57.080 help other people. How can I do this? And once 0:08:57.240 --> 0:08:58.880 I got that, I'm like, this is my mission, this 0:08:58.920 --> 0:09:01.080 is my purpose, this is what I want to do. 0:09:01.160 --> 0:09:01.640 It helped. 0:09:01.679 --> 0:09:03.600 It just things started flowing for me, but it took 0:09:03.640 --> 0:09:04.640 a long time to get there. 0:09:05.280 --> 0:09:08.040 Yeah, I feel everything you just said. I just think 0:09:08.080 --> 0:09:10.839 it's like it's it's it's this journey. And I think 0:09:10.960 --> 0:09:14.320 we're so obsessed with this finish line in general, as 0:09:14.360 --> 0:09:17.280 like human beings, and I think life has very few 0:09:17.360 --> 0:09:19.880 actual finish lines, you know, And I think that's sort 0:09:19.920 --> 0:09:23.120 of the thing you have to accept and like you 0:09:23.120 --> 0:09:25.200 you have to go through experience. Is like, you know, 0:09:25.480 --> 0:09:27.600 I wouldn't have found I think, my greater life's purpose 0:09:27.600 --> 0:09:29.760 if it wasn't for music and the journey that it 0:09:29.840 --> 0:09:32.200 set me out on, essentially, right, because music led to 0:09:32.240 --> 0:09:34.920 me finding so many different things. Music is more so 0:09:35.040 --> 0:09:37.440 the vehicle than anything else, right, and oh my god. 0:09:37.440 --> 0:09:42.280 Yes, right, sorry, no, no, you're good, You're good. No. 0:09:42.360 --> 0:09:45.040 So I think that that's sort of like it's it's 0:09:45.080 --> 0:09:48.360 the journey and refining and getting to know yourself and 0:09:48.360 --> 0:09:50.120 then getting to know the new version of yourself as 0:09:50.160 --> 0:09:53.080 you continue to evolve. I just think that there's so much, 0:09:53.280 --> 0:09:56.280 like you know, to sort of continue to unpack in 0:09:56.320 --> 0:09:59.040 life and the idea around purpose. And I know there 0:09:59.120 --> 0:10:00.880 was there was somebody that had like a profound impact 0:10:00.880 --> 0:10:04.560 that I interviewed on my podcast, doctor Esther Zelda Dung. 0:10:04.679 --> 0:10:07.280 She she sort of just like made me realize that 0:10:07.360 --> 0:10:09.840 the way with which I found success in what I'm 0:10:09.840 --> 0:10:12.760 doing now or in music, whatever it is, I literally 0:10:12.760 --> 0:10:15.360 can just apply that to any field in the entire world. 0:10:15.400 --> 0:10:17.640 Like I just have to change out like the characters 0:10:17.679 --> 0:10:19.120 and the setting that I'm doing it in, you know. 0:10:19.720 --> 0:10:22.079 But that's like my unique way of looking and my 0:10:22.160 --> 0:10:24.120 unique vantage point of how I see things can be 0:10:24.200 --> 0:10:27.880 applied to any other field that I find to be interesting, 0:10:27.960 --> 0:10:31.320 you know. And I think it's you know, I think 0:10:31.600 --> 0:10:34.520 you mentioned kind of the dark place to a degree 0:10:34.520 --> 0:10:37.160 and like I can relate to you know that in 0:10:37.520 --> 0:10:39.640 many ways of like the times where I just tried 0:10:39.679 --> 0:10:41.800 to fit in with like what I'm supposed to be 0:10:41.840 --> 0:10:45.240 doing air quotes, that's when like I was just depressed 0:10:45.240 --> 0:10:47.440 as hell and it didn't matter if I was on 0:10:47.600 --> 0:10:49.960 like giant platforms or I was doing cool things that 0:10:50.000 --> 0:10:52.240 everybody was jealous of. In like my gut, the fact 0:10:52.280 --> 0:10:55.200 that I wasn't, like, you know, creating something that I 0:10:55.200 --> 0:10:58.040 could be proud of personally, like it felt like the 0:10:58.080 --> 0:11:01.040 worst thing in the world to me, you know. So yeah, 0:11:01.440 --> 0:11:02.920 it's again, it's just I just threw a lot. 0:11:02.840 --> 0:11:05.040 At you, but it's a lot of like no. 0:11:04.640 --> 0:11:07.840 No, I yeah, I took it all in. I took 0:11:07.840 --> 0:11:11.400 it all in because I freaking I get it. I 0:11:11.480 --> 0:11:15.320 absolutely understand. And this is what I tell people all 0:11:15.360 --> 0:11:18.600 the time. We're evolving creatures. We are not meant to 0:11:18.679 --> 0:11:22.440 stay the same. So life is literally it's in waves. 0:11:22.600 --> 0:11:24.520 There's ups and there's downs, and it's not like, oh, 0:11:24.520 --> 0:11:26.920 finding your life purpose. It's not a destination like you said. 0:11:26.960 --> 0:11:29.680 It is a journey and you are going to change 0:11:29.720 --> 0:11:32.640 and with that things change, and there are seasons in 0:11:32.679 --> 0:11:33.080 our lives. 0:11:33.080 --> 0:11:34.679 I talk about that a lot on the podcast. 0:11:35.000 --> 0:11:37.160 You Know. I started off this fourth season of Cheeky's 0:11:37.160 --> 0:11:40.440 and Chill with an episode talking about it's not that 0:11:40.480 --> 0:11:44.400 I want to stop music. I just want to make 0:11:44.440 --> 0:11:47.600 it look a little different because it wasn't making me 0:11:47.920 --> 0:11:50.160 one hundred percent happy. I was happy doing it. I 0:11:50.240 --> 0:11:54.000 was happy being on stage, but then it was I 0:11:54.040 --> 0:11:56.960 was drinking a lot. I was numbing, like, I was 0:11:57.000 --> 0:11:58.839 so tired, so I would just drink and I would 0:11:58.880 --> 0:12:01.240 like it wasn't healthy for me. So I'm like, something 0:12:01.320 --> 0:12:04.280 is wrong. I'm trying to run from something. And it 0:12:04.320 --> 0:12:06.520 was because of the air quotes that what I should 0:12:06.600 --> 0:12:10.199 be doing versus what I'm meant to do, What am 0:12:10.200 --> 0:12:13.360 I meant to do? What makes my soul happy? What 0:12:13.440 --> 0:12:16.840 makes me just want to live? Because there were times 0:12:16.840 --> 0:12:18.560 there where I was like, oh I can't. I'm so 0:12:18.640 --> 0:12:20.360 freaking tired. I just want to throw in the towel, 0:12:20.400 --> 0:12:22.960 like you know, yeah, yeah, I just throw a lot 0:12:22.960 --> 0:12:23.400 at you too. 0:12:23.880 --> 0:12:24.240 No. 0:12:24.240 --> 0:12:26.480 No, I'm like, I'm like, you know, I think I'm 0:12:27.559 --> 0:12:29.440 I'm talking to myself as I hear you almost because 0:12:29.520 --> 0:12:31.480 I relate to that so much as well, like and 0:12:32.080 --> 0:12:38.080 I think the the sort of weird irony or I 0:12:38.120 --> 0:12:40.760 think the thing that a lot of people are not 0:12:40.920 --> 0:12:44.760 able to see is sort of what happens when the 0:12:44.800 --> 0:12:47.800 thing you love then becomes your main source of income 0:12:47.920 --> 0:12:51.040 or your job, your career. And it's a blessing, but 0:12:51.120 --> 0:12:55.920 it also then comes with a level of I don't know, 0:12:56.400 --> 0:12:59.960 like difficulty or just like there's this cheapness to it 0:13:00.040 --> 0:13:02.720 almost that happens because you now have to be delivering 0:13:02.720 --> 0:13:05.199 because it's the thing you sort of rely on as 0:13:05.240 --> 0:13:07.640 your job, as your career, right, or you have all 0:13:07.679 --> 0:13:09.599 these other hands and these people in your ear you 0:13:09.600 --> 0:13:11.520 should be doing this. Or you found succeests doing this, 0:13:11.600 --> 0:13:13.200 give us the same exact thing over and over and 0:13:13.200 --> 0:13:15.959 over again, right, and it's like this new now you 0:13:16.000 --> 0:13:18.000 even whole new set of problems that you never had 0:13:18.040 --> 0:13:20.200 before when it was just something you did in your bedroom. Right, 0:13:20.640 --> 0:13:23.439 And it's like, you know, it's almost I don't want 0:13:23.440 --> 0:13:25.520 to sound like you know, it's like, obviously these are 0:13:25.520 --> 0:13:28.640 good problems to have. It's a blessing, but it's a 0:13:28.679 --> 0:13:30.760 new set of challenges kind of to the point that 0:13:30.840 --> 0:13:32.840 you made of like where ever, evolving new things are 0:13:32.880 --> 0:13:34.520 being thrown at it as constantly we kind of have 0:13:34.520 --> 0:13:37.560 to figure them out in these new stages of our life. 0:13:37.600 --> 0:13:39.360 And I think, I don't know. That's the one thing 0:13:39.480 --> 0:13:41.840 to me that was that was so surprising once it 0:13:41.880 --> 0:13:44.199 became a thing, once this whole thing became a job, 0:13:44.240 --> 0:13:46.680 where it was like, oh, this is like you know, 0:13:46.880 --> 0:13:49.400 now almost feels worse because now it's like this is 0:13:49.480 --> 0:13:51.319 all you ever wanted and you're not happy, Like, now 0:13:51.320 --> 0:13:52.080 what the hell do I do? 0:13:52.520 --> 0:13:53.079 Oh? 0:13:53.160 --> 0:13:57.400 Yeah, I know, I know exactly what you're talking about. 0:13:57.679 --> 0:14:00.440 Oh that's what I feel like was all of last year. 0:14:00.480 --> 0:14:03.360 I'm like, if I am not passionate about this, something 0:14:03.400 --> 0:14:05.720 is going on. If I'm not doing it just for fun. 0:14:05.800 --> 0:14:08.120 And is that where because I know you talk about 0:14:08.280 --> 0:14:12.520 something called or you call it purpose over paycheck. Is 0:14:12.559 --> 0:14:15.720 this kind of the conversation? Is this what we were 0:14:15.920 --> 0:14:16.720 where it goes? 0:14:17.320 --> 0:14:21.960 Absolutely? I think if for me it's sort of I 0:14:22.000 --> 0:14:26.080 try to live by that sort of mantra and that's 0:14:26.120 --> 0:14:28.480 something I borrowed from dj Am. I heard him say 0:14:28.520 --> 0:14:33.000 it one time, And I try to live by that 0:14:33.080 --> 0:14:36.840 mantra as sort of like my guiding light almost when 0:14:36.880 --> 0:14:39.520 I'm making a decision in sort of things right, and 0:14:40.160 --> 0:14:45.240 I have this internal struggle where maybe it's ego, whatever 0:14:45.280 --> 0:14:47.720 it might be, where I want to check off the 0:14:47.760 --> 0:14:50.400 societal boxes that I'm supposed to be checking off, right, 0:14:50.440 --> 0:14:52.960 Like I want to win by the same rules that 0:14:53.000 --> 0:14:54.920 everybody else is playing by. I want to be able 0:14:54.960 --> 0:14:56.560 to have, you know, the pats on the back for 0:14:56.680 --> 0:14:59.360 living the white pike it fence life right, like a 0:14:59.400 --> 0:15:03.440 part of me to that validation almost, you know. And 0:15:03.960 --> 0:15:06.240 at times there's two parts to be sort of at 0:15:06.280 --> 0:15:08.000 odds with each other, you know, the part of me 0:15:08.040 --> 0:15:10.440 who wants to be pure in his art and his 0:15:10.560 --> 0:15:13.040 messaging and in the way that he wants to touch 0:15:13.080 --> 0:15:15.360 people's lives, and the other part of me that just 0:15:15.400 --> 0:15:18.320 sort of wants the superficial validation from the outside world. 0:15:18.880 --> 0:15:22.200 And there have been times where I've chased opportunities and 0:15:22.400 --> 0:15:25.200 gone down that rabbit hole of things that like everybody's 0:15:25.240 --> 0:15:27.080 you know, giving you like the pound and you're the man, 0:15:27.160 --> 0:15:27.960 and I hated it. 0:15:28.200 --> 0:15:29.760 So I try to like adapt this. 0:15:29.800 --> 0:15:33.160 Mantra of just constantly reminding myself passion over paycheck, you know, 0:15:33.240 --> 0:15:35.680 like I'm not gonna take a DJ gig that is 0:15:36.160 --> 0:15:38.800 high like even that's like the lowest like you know thing. 0:15:38.840 --> 0:15:40.960 But but even for me, like I love djaying, I 0:15:41.000 --> 0:15:43.160 love playing music, but like if I'm playing a gig 0:15:43.200 --> 0:15:44.640 that I hate for people that I don't like, it 0:15:44.680 --> 0:15:46.480 could be a packed room if I'm not getting to 0:15:46.480 --> 0:15:48.800 play things that I enjoy, or it's a crowd that 0:15:48.800 --> 0:15:51.560 I'm not really that interested in that I'm not invested 0:15:51.560 --> 0:15:54.960 in playing something for then, like I'm miserable, I might 0:15:55.000 --> 0:15:57.400 as well be like an account in somewhere doing numbers 0:15:57.440 --> 0:15:59.120 in an office. It makes no difference to me. I'm 0:15:59.160 --> 0:16:02.240 just as miserable, you know. So I have to keep 0:16:02.280 --> 0:16:04.960 reminding myself of like, there has to be something deeper 0:16:04.960 --> 0:16:06.720 to everything you do in order for it to actually 0:16:06.720 --> 0:16:09.600 make you happy. The money alone is not going to 0:16:09.640 --> 0:16:10.240 satisfy you. 0:16:11.080 --> 0:16:22.680 AP's freaking lutely. So it's passion over paycheck. Because I 0:16:22.680 --> 0:16:24.680 had any written down here, perp okay, So it's passion 0:16:24.680 --> 0:16:29.720 over paycheck. This year is that for me? I stopped 0:16:30.000 --> 0:16:32.440 a lot of things. I said, I don't want to 0:16:32.480 --> 0:16:35.120 record another album. I don't want to go on tour. 0:16:35.880 --> 0:16:39.320 I want to step back, not step away, step back 0:16:40.120 --> 0:16:42.920 and fall in love with my music. And I want 0:16:42.960 --> 0:16:45.280 to be on a stage. Like you just said, if 0:16:45.520 --> 0:16:47.880 even if it's not sold out, even if it's just 0:16:47.920 --> 0:16:51.880 five hundred people versus three thousand. But I am happy 0:16:52.120 --> 0:16:55.680 doing it, right. I want to feel that again. And 0:16:55.720 --> 0:16:58.280 not that it wasn't happy last year. It was just 0:16:58.840 --> 0:17:02.560 something was happening. I think I was so busy, there 0:17:02.600 --> 0:17:04.800 was so much going on that I didn't tend to 0:17:05.040 --> 0:17:07.080 my I didn't do my inner work as much as 0:17:07.080 --> 0:17:10.080 I should have, and it was affecting me in every way. 0:17:10.200 --> 0:17:13.200 And so I love that passion over paycheck because it's 0:17:13.240 --> 0:17:15.000 something else that I say, Like when people say, oh, 0:17:15.080 --> 0:17:18.359 you know, this person sold their soul to the devil, 0:17:18.680 --> 0:17:20.400 it's not like, oh, I'm going to go do this 0:17:20.760 --> 0:17:23.160 ritual and I'm literally selling my soul to the devil. 0:17:23.200 --> 0:17:25.960 To me, it's when you do things for money and. 0:17:26.240 --> 0:17:31.359 You're not necessarily being authentic, and that's how you lose 0:17:31.400 --> 0:17:34.479 credibility because you're just doing it for the paycheck and 0:17:34.520 --> 0:17:38.879 not for the passion, for the purpose behind it, you know. 0:17:39.119 --> 0:17:42.520 And that's and I yes, so I totally understand that. 0:17:42.560 --> 0:17:44.399 That's kind of what I wanted. I wanted you to, 0:17:44.520 --> 0:17:47.320 like to make sure I was understanding it correctly. So 0:17:47.359 --> 0:17:48.160 I think I did right. 0:17:48.640 --> 0:17:52.600 Yeah, No, I think you just summarized it amazingly. 0:17:53.280 --> 0:17:54.960 How old are you traumas. 0:17:55.000 --> 0:17:55.920 I'm thirty six. 0:17:56.720 --> 0:17:58.280 Okay, if you don't mind me asking, I'm sorry. 0:17:58.359 --> 0:18:00.959 Yeah, Oh you're good. I'm an open book. 0:18:01.040 --> 0:18:02.240 I'm an open book. You're good. 0:18:02.800 --> 0:18:04.960 I was just wondering because I feel like you're very 0:18:05.119 --> 0:18:08.640 like in tune and you know, and that that's awesome. 0:18:08.720 --> 0:18:10.680 Like there's not not that there aren't a lot of 0:18:10.720 --> 0:18:13.000