1
00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:05,240
Speaker 1: All right, Steve live from Botswana. So exciting you're over

2
00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:08,959
Speaker 1: there in the motherland. In case you're just joining us,

3
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:12,159
Speaker 1: Stephen's doing big things. I mean big things, Steve. Why

4
00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:15,360
Speaker 1: don't you tell us about it? Well, you know, I'm

5
00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:18,600
Speaker 1: over here as a part of an initiative from the

6
00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:22,480
Speaker 1: country of Botswana to bring about awareness and bridge the

7
00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:29,080
Speaker 1: gap between Africans and African Americans because they as a

8
00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:34,120
Speaker 1: part of the commemorative of the four hundred years slave trade.

9
00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:38,479
Speaker 1: They never want this to happen again. That's the main focus.

10
00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:42,400
Speaker 1: This can never ever happen again. So one of the

11
00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:45,720
Speaker 1: main things they want to do is bring a closeness

12
00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:50,240
Speaker 1: between us and them, which is really just us. I

13
00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:53,400
Speaker 1: like it. We want to stop saying us and them.

14
00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:57,880
Speaker 1: It's us they. They made me really understand something. If

15
00:00:57,880 --> 00:01:01,600
Speaker 1: you jaremaking you're African. Yeah, if you Hatian, you African.

16
00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:06,720
Speaker 1: I'm telling you. If you Brazil, your Africans where you

17
00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:09,760
Speaker 1: think that comes from? And so all of us in

18
00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:12,759
Speaker 1: the United States are Africans. That's why we fought so

19
00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:15,960
Speaker 1: hard to be called African Americans, so we can identify

20
00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:18,480
Speaker 1: without home and other people get to go home to

21
00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:21,880
Speaker 1: Italy and Croatia and they get to go home to

22
00:01:22,319 --> 00:01:25,600
Speaker 1: Scotland and Ireland and go back home to the UK.

23
00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:29,120
Speaker 1: And that's a beautiful thing. I should have that same

24
00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:32,959
Speaker 1: beautiful thing. And so that's what they bought me over

25
00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:37,000
Speaker 1: here to do. I'm going into some meetings later on today.

26
00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:40,000
Speaker 1: I'll keep you abreast as to what I'm doing. And

27
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:44,120
Speaker 1: it's just gonna be really positive for us all in

28
00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:46,039
Speaker 1: and just let you all know that I hate to

29
00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:48,520
Speaker 1: cut you off, Steve, but in America, we still have

30
00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:54,080
Speaker 1: to do the Strawberry letter. So hold up, hold up,

31
00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:59,000
Speaker 1: check this out. Check this out. Since I'm since I'm

32
00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:01,840
Speaker 1: back at work, what will y'all do? Okay? I want

33
00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:04,160
Speaker 1: you all to play, and you know what it is.

34
00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:07,040
Speaker 1: I ain't got to set it up. Play one of them.

35
00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:11,000
Speaker 1: I have about three. Hood play one of my favorites,

36
00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:18,040
Speaker 1: Strawberry Letters, just for me. We got you, We got you. Yeah,

37
00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:20,800
Speaker 1: all right, so listen. If you need some advice and

38
00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:24,520
Speaker 1: relationships on dating, work, sex, parenting, and more, please submit

39
00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:27,680
Speaker 1: your Strawberry Letter to Steve Harvey f M. And click

40
00:02:27,760 --> 00:02:31,679
Speaker 1: submit to Strawberry Letter. We're ready, Steve, We're ready. All right,

41
00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:37,960
Speaker 1: Let's get buggle up. Hold on Tyke, we got it

42
00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:41,960
Speaker 1: for you. It's a strawberry letter subject thanks for having

43
00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:45,400
Speaker 1: a child for my man. Dear Stephen Shirley. Let's just

44
00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:48,000
Speaker 1: get right to it. Here's my dilemma. I'm a thirty

45
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:51,079
Speaker 1: eight year old woman and I've never wanted to have children.

46
00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:54,079
Speaker 1: Five years ago, I was in a great relationship and

47
00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:57,280
Speaker 1: we were talking about getting married. But he wanted children

48
00:02:57,440 --> 00:03:01,799
Speaker 1: and I did not, so we mutually decided to end

49
00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:05,200
Speaker 1: our relationship. We could not deny that we were still

50
00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:07,600
Speaker 1: in love with each other, so two years after we

51
00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:11,080
Speaker 1: broke up, we reconnected and have been seeing each other

52
00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:14,920
Speaker 1: off and on since then. While we've been spending time together,

53
00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:18,200
Speaker 1: he started a relationship with a new woman and they

54
00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:22,320
Speaker 1: had a child together, and he couldn't be happier. He

55
00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:24,440
Speaker 1: has told me that he wants to marry the woman

56
00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:26,840
Speaker 1: so that his child will have the kind of upbringing

57
00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:31,040
Speaker 1: he had with both parents present. I truly believe now

58
00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:33,240
Speaker 1: that he has a son he wanted, he and I

59
00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:36,280
Speaker 1: can get back together and get married. He tells me

60
00:03:36,440 --> 00:03:39,280
Speaker 1: every day that he loves me, so why wouldn't he

61
00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:42,760
Speaker 1: want to marry me instead of her? If I were

62
00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:46,160
Speaker 1: an evil woman, I could end it all between him

63
00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:48,960
Speaker 1: and this woman by telling her that I've been with

64
00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:52,520
Speaker 1: him this entire time they've been together. I have lots

65
00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:56,040
Speaker 1: of damaging proof that would definitely break them up. Even

66
00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:58,760
Speaker 1: though I did not want to have children. I can

67
00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:01,280
Speaker 1: help him raise his done. What do you think I

68
00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:04,800
Speaker 1: should do? Don't I deserve to be happy too? Well? Yeah,

69
00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:08,200
Speaker 1: everyone deserves to be happy, but not this way. Okay.

70
00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:11,480
Speaker 1: I just gotta tell you that it looks like you're done.

71
00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:15,200
Speaker 1: I mean, you're just the side piece in this relationship.

72
00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:18,960
Speaker 1: He has moved on from you to the woman he

73
00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:22,240
Speaker 1: wants to marry. And guess what, that woman is not you.

74
00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:25,839
Speaker 1: He said he wanted to marry that woman and not you. You.

75
00:04:25,839 --> 00:04:28,599
Speaker 1: You don't want to have children. He only has one child.

76
00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:31,000
Speaker 1: How do you know he doesn't want to have more children.

77
00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:33,159
Speaker 1: You didn't mention that in the letter? Did you you

78
00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:36,720
Speaker 1: think he's one and done? Well, they're smart, she really smart.

79
00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:39,640
Speaker 1: I didn't see that. Well, he may not. You know,

80
00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:42,680
Speaker 1: he may want to have another one and you still

81
00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:46,280
Speaker 1: don't want children, So there is no future in this

82
00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:49,520
Speaker 1: relationship with him. What you have with him is as

83
00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:53,560
Speaker 1: good as it's going to get with again. You being

84
00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:56,479
Speaker 1: the jump off. That's it. He told you he wanted

85
00:04:56,520 --> 00:04:59,360
Speaker 1: to marry this new woman. He didn't or hasn't told

86
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,680
Speaker 1: you that he wanted to marry you lately, has he?

87
00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:05,040
Speaker 1: So I suggest you ask, you know, don't you deserve

88
00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:07,799
Speaker 1: to be happy? What do you think you should do? Well,

89
00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:10,560
Speaker 1: you need to get out of this situation because he

90
00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:13,920
Speaker 1: wants to marry someone else and have you on the side,

91
00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:18,000
Speaker 1: which is exactly what he's doing. Steve, Well, when we

92
00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:20,200
Speaker 1: come back and we'll break it down a little bit further,

93
00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:24,080
Speaker 1: I would really admire the point that you made. Though

94
00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:27,560
Speaker 1: this guy may want to have other children. Oh yeah,

95
00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:30,000
Speaker 1: she doesn't see this. But when I come back, though,

96
00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:32,680
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you what's really blow this whole damn

97
00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:37,440
Speaker 1: bring it. Bring it up, all right, we'll have part

98
00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:42,039
Speaker 1: two of Steve's response, uh coming, Yeah, I'm gonna let

99
00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:47,440
Speaker 1: him have it too. Now, don't don't nobody be tight? Okay, okay,

100
00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:50,800
Speaker 1: because I see you know this, you know, thanks for

101
00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:56,760
Speaker 1: having a child for my man. Yeah, show your man

102
00:05:57,000 --> 00:06:02,799
Speaker 1: exactly exactly. Well, I don't have to recap it because

103
00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:05,920
Speaker 1: I didn't respond to it, but I've just done. This

104
00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:09,600
Speaker 1: woman had a relationship with this guy. She's thirty years old.

105
00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:12,840
Speaker 1: She never wanted to have children. Five years ago, she

106
00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:15,560
Speaker 1: was in a great relationship talking about getting married, but

107
00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:18,360
Speaker 1: he wanted kid. She didn't, so y'all decided to end

108
00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:21,200
Speaker 1: the relationship. But you still loved each other. So two

109
00:06:21,279 --> 00:06:24,599
Speaker 1: years later, after y'all broke up, y'all reconnected and started

110
00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:27,279
Speaker 1: seeing each other off and on since then, Well, while

111
00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:30,800
Speaker 1: we've been spending time together, he started relationship. See, while

112
00:06:30,839 --> 00:06:33,760
Speaker 1: we were spending time together, he started relationship with a

113
00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:37,599
Speaker 1: new woman. That's not true, sees. This is the first

114
00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:41,440
Speaker 1: big lie in the letter. She thinks that for two

115
00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:46,560
Speaker 1: years this dude was sitting somewhere sad and upset that

116
00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:50,600
Speaker 1: they had broke up and wasn't involved with nobody, So,

117
00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:53,080
Speaker 1: she writes in the letter, because this is a self

118
00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:56,800
Speaker 1: serving woman, while we were spending time together, he started

119
00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:59,280
Speaker 1: a relationship with a new woman. No, he was in

120
00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:02,240
Speaker 1: a relationship with the new you woman. Then y'all started

121
00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:06,560
Speaker 1: spending time together. They had a child together, and he

122
00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:10,000
Speaker 1: couldn't be happier. He told me he wants to marry

123
00:07:10,040 --> 00:07:12,000
Speaker 1: this woman so this child can have a kind of

124
00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:15,840
Speaker 1: upbringing he had with both parents. President Now she believes

125
00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:17,480
Speaker 1: that since you got son, he wanted down to be

126
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,320
Speaker 1: able to get back together and getting married. He tells

127
00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:20,880
Speaker 1: me every day he loves me. Why wouldn't you want

128
00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:22,800
Speaker 1: to be with me? If I were even woman, I

129
00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:25,080
Speaker 1: could end this whole thing. Blah blah blah. Even though

130
00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:27,160
Speaker 1: I do not want to have children, I can help

131
00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:29,120
Speaker 1: him raise his sons. What do you think I should do?

132
00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:32,360
Speaker 1: I deserve to be happy to you will never be

133
00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:37,360
Speaker 1: happy destroying someone else's Let's just start there. You're the

134
00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:41,239
Speaker 1: most self serving person I've heard from in a long time.

135
00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:48,160
Speaker 1: You are what's the words narcissist? Yeah? You just like

136
00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:53,080
Speaker 1: the president. It's all about you. See. So now you

137
00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:56,280
Speaker 1: didn't want to have children, but you think since he

138
00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:58,640
Speaker 1: has a child, you can help him raise his son.

139
00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:01,840
Speaker 1: You don't even won't know that damn kids, right, So

140
00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:04,480
Speaker 1: what's gonna make you the great mother? All of a

141
00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:08,520
Speaker 1: sudden you still don't want kids, but now you think

142
00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:10,840
Speaker 1: you're gonna turn into the super mom over the woman

143
00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:14,120
Speaker 1: who had the baby? Are you kidding me? Are you

144
00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:18,239
Speaker 1: kidding me? You're very self servant. You didn't want children,

145
00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:20,720
Speaker 1: so you didn't want children, so you broke up. You

146
00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:22,880
Speaker 1: couldn't say, you know what, we love each other enough,

147
00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:25,800
Speaker 1: we should share a child. Now it's always about you.

148
00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:28,160
Speaker 1: I don't want to handle kids. So we break up.

149
00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:32,560
Speaker 1: Two years later, y'all reconnect now here in a relationship.

150
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:34,920
Speaker 1: You can believe that. Ain't a man sitting on the

151
00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:37,840
Speaker 1: sideline two years trying to get over no damn body,

152
00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:50,480
Speaker 1: We get over women with women. Hello again, right s

153
00:08:51,520 --> 00:08:55,959
Speaker 1: we hit over women with women sitting up in the

154
00:08:56,080 --> 00:08:58,959
Speaker 1: house sucking the thumb because you're gonna we'll do that

155
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:02,120
Speaker 1: for a little while. We're gonna take this thumbsucking and

156
00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:08,560
Speaker 1: turn it into something. Now. He wants the family, she said.

157
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:11,720
Speaker 1: He wants to marry this girl who had the baby

158
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:14,080
Speaker 1: because he wants the baby to have the same family

159
00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:17,400
Speaker 1: he had grown up, both parents present. You don't give

160
00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:20,679
Speaker 1: a damn about that. You want that to split up.

161
00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:23,800
Speaker 1: Damn the back again. You show exactly why you don't

162
00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:27,040
Speaker 1: need children, because you want to take this opportunity for

163
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:29,960
Speaker 1: this child to have a family structure that this womanan

164
00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:32,040
Speaker 1: wants to create with this woman because you want to

165
00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:33,800
Speaker 1: just be here. So you want to break that up

166
00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:37,319
Speaker 1: so you can help raise a child that you don't

167
00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:42,040
Speaker 1: even won't you don't even want kids, but so you

168
00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:45,120
Speaker 1: could be happy. You want to break it up. Now

169
00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:48,000
Speaker 1: you say you could break them up because you got

170
00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:52,040
Speaker 1: some evidence, pictures, text, all this here. Yeah, you could

171
00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:53,839
Speaker 1: do that. You could break them up. But let me

172
00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:56,839
Speaker 1: ask you a question. You don't think that he'll remember that.

173
00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:00,280
Speaker 1: You don't think that when y'all sitting around having a

174
00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:03,520
Speaker 1: couple of arguments. You don't think that when y'all sitting

175
00:10:03,559 --> 00:10:05,520
Speaker 1: up trying to make these bills work. You don't think

176
00:10:05,559 --> 00:10:08,319
Speaker 1: when real life kicking with a honeymoon section is over.

177
00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:11,599
Speaker 1: You don't think he gonna remember the fact that you

178
00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:16,240
Speaker 1: sent some pictures that destroyed what he really wanted to have.

179
00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:19,480
Speaker 1: Now he over there with you with a baby that

180
00:10:19,679 --> 00:10:24,679
Speaker 1: you don't want. You do not want children. If you

181
00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:29,400
Speaker 1: don't want your own children, I to hell, you're supposed

182
00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:34,520
Speaker 1: to want somebody else's. I'm just asking so one more time.

183
00:10:34,679 --> 00:10:38,199
Speaker 1: You are the most served, self serving woman. And like

184
00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:42,000
Speaker 1: Shirley said, suppose this man want to have another child.

185
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:48,160
Speaker 1: You ain't it again, you're out. Then you you deserve

186
00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:50,559
Speaker 1: to be happy too. We'll go find you a man

187
00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:54,240
Speaker 1: that don't won't know kids. It's a bunch of him,

188
00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:56,920
Speaker 1: But go back to chapter two, verse eighteen. We get

189
00:10:57,040 --> 00:11:05,080
Speaker 1: over get over women other women. Man, we don't hey,

190
00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:08,840
Speaker 1: we don't say, we don't go therapy. No, we don't

191
00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:12,559
Speaker 1: go up in the mountains to find ourselves. Now we

192
00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:16,040
Speaker 1: get another one of y'all who can do the same thing.

193
00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:18,959
Speaker 1: Y'all do make me feel like you do, and we

194
00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:22,120
Speaker 1: go to getting over it just like that. Man, we

195
00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:26,120
Speaker 1: gotta soaking, no tub, drinking, no wine, getting no good book,

196
00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:29,280
Speaker 1: going to girls. Trust while we go to Vegas and

197
00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:32,000
Speaker 1: fixed it. They don't discount the sucking in the tub

198
00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:34,040
Speaker 1: and all of that. Now that's good stuff right there,

199
00:11:34,679 --> 00:11:38,520
Speaker 1: discounting for a man. If your man soaking the tub

200
00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:43,640
Speaker 1: to find himself with somebody crying in our wine and

201
00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:50,439
Speaker 1: all that, that's all called me. I'm soaking. He just

202
00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:56,880
Speaker 1: broke up with somebody with candles? Is that your toes

203
00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:59,520
Speaker 1: come out of? Baby? Man, I'm trying to get over something.

204
00:11:59,559 --> 00:12:02,719
Speaker 1: Man me loan man, read, act like a lady, think

205
00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:07,800
Speaker 1: like a man, and I'm gonna do something. Leave me alone.

206
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:10,160
Speaker 1: We'll dog dog. We're on the way to Vegas. We

207
00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:12,520
Speaker 1: can help you get over it. Got to Steve Harvey FM,

208
00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:15,679
Speaker 1: or check out the Strawberry Letter on podcast on the

209
00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:19,480
Speaker 1: podcast on demand. Okay, you're listening to the Steve Harvey

210
00:12:19,559 --> 00:12:20,120
Speaker 1: Morning Show