WEBVTT - Libby | Betrayal Weekly 0:00:03.720 --> 0:00:07.760 I remember this so clearly. I was in my powder 0:00:07.840 --> 0:00:10.600 blue pajamas and I came out and I said something 0:00:10.640 --> 0:00:14.280 to him, I go, what are you involved in? Are 0:00:14.320 --> 0:00:19.920 you being investigated by the FBI? And he looked at 0:00:19.920 --> 0:00:23.760 me so coldly, like he never knew me, and he said, 0:00:24.880 --> 0:00:26.599 if I go down, I'm taking you with me. 0:00:41.240 --> 0:00:44.680 I'm Andrea Gunning. And this is Betrayal, a show about 0:00:44.720 --> 0:00:47.919 the people we trust the most and the deceptions that 0:00:48.080 --> 0:00:53.440 change everything. Recently, we got in touch with a group 0:00:53.520 --> 0:00:57.040 called the White Collar Wives Project. It's a support group 0:00:57.080 --> 0:01:01.200 for women who were blindsided by their husband's finance crimes. 0:01:01.480 --> 0:01:05.080 Their mission is to help guide women through the fallout legally, 0:01:05.240 --> 0:01:09.320 financially and emotionally. For members, it's a place where they 0:01:09.319 --> 0:01:13.839 can feel supported and most importantly, believed, a place where 0:01:13.880 --> 0:01:17.640 no one is asking the ever present question he didn't know. 0:01:19.440 --> 0:01:22.080 That's Libby Henry. She was one of the first members 0:01:22.120 --> 0:01:24.720 of the White Collar Wives and like all the women 0:01:24.760 --> 0:01:27.080 in the group, she was in the dark about what 0:01:27.200 --> 0:01:29.560 her husband was really doing at work. 0:01:30.520 --> 0:01:32.759 I didn't say, oh, honey, dinner's writing. And by the way, 0:01:32.800 --> 0:01:33.639 did you commit fraud? 0:01:36.200 --> 0:01:39.840 Libby grew up in Louisville, Kentucky, or as the locals 0:01:39.880 --> 0:01:41.200 call it, Lousvoe. 0:01:42.440 --> 0:01:45.040 It's almost like you've got something caught in your throat. 0:01:45.400 --> 0:01:47.880 We automatically know if you're not from here. If you're 0:01:47.920 --> 0:01:51.320 saying Louisville or Louisville. 0:01:51.000 --> 0:01:53.840 Well, I'm not from there. So for this episode, I'm 0:01:53.880 --> 0:01:59.080 going to be saying Louisville. Early on, Libby knew her 0:01:59.080 --> 0:02:04.120 family was like others. Her mother didn't get along with 0:02:04.200 --> 0:02:04.800 most people. 0:02:05.320 --> 0:02:10.880 She had an undiagnosed personality disorder. Today they call this 0:02:11.040 --> 0:02:15.080 borderline personality disorder. That at the time I didn't know 0:02:15.120 --> 0:02:17.680 what was wrong with her because there wasn't the Internet 0:02:18.040 --> 0:02:20.520 and nobody was talking about mental health back then. 0:02:21.639 --> 0:02:25.120 Because of her mom's mental illness, life at home was 0:02:25.160 --> 0:02:26.680 an emotional roller coaster. 0:02:27.760 --> 0:02:32.040 As I entered the ninth grade, I was pretty much 0:02:32.160 --> 0:02:35.000 trying to spend the night out all the time because 0:02:35.120 --> 0:02:40.760 she had such a problem controlling her emotions. I just 0:02:40.840 --> 0:02:41.760 tried to get away. 0:02:42.480 --> 0:02:45.320 She spent a lot of time at friends' houses, and 0:02:45.400 --> 0:02:48.720 by the time she graduated high school, she had one 0:02:48.800 --> 0:02:52.359 goal for her future. It was heartbreakingly simple. 0:02:53.480 --> 0:02:56.280 What I saw around meet my friend's houses. I wanted 0:02:56.320 --> 0:02:59.440 for myself. I just wanted to have a normal home 0:03:00.520 --> 0:03:04.520 because I didn't come from one. That was my big plan. 0:03:05.919 --> 0:03:06.440 That was it. 0:03:07.520 --> 0:03:11.120 She started college at the University of Kentucky. It's in Lexington, 0:03:11.680 --> 0:03:13.440 the horse racing capital of the world. 0:03:14.320 --> 0:03:19.320 Oh gosh, Lexington, beautiful play surrounded by these beautiful horse farms, 0:03:19.440 --> 0:03:23.440 rolling fields. When I got there, the first thing I 0:03:23.480 --> 0:03:25.320 thought is that I had some freedom. 0:03:25.680 --> 0:03:29.120 It was the eighties. Libby was carefree. She joined a 0:03:29.120 --> 0:03:31.080 sorority and quickly made friends. 0:03:32.040 --> 0:03:34.680 There were a lot of fraternity parties. They could have 0:03:34.720 --> 0:03:38.040 all these cag parties. You would go from one house 0:03:38.120 --> 0:03:41.480 to the next house. Lots of bands were always playing. 0:03:42.160 --> 0:03:43.200 That was a lot of fun. 0:03:43.960 --> 0:03:46.560 Her junior year, she went to the first kickoff game 0:03:46.600 --> 0:03:49.840 of the football season, and of course it was a 0:03:49.840 --> 0:03:50.400 big party. 0:03:51.200 --> 0:03:55.200 My friend came up to me and said, do you 0:03:55.280 --> 0:03:56.120 know Ted House. 0:03:56.840 --> 0:04:00.280 Ted House was in one of her history classes, caught 0:04:00.320 --> 0:04:03.040 her eye before, but they didn't really know each other. 0:04:03.880 --> 0:04:07.040 He was undeniably good looking, you know that, tall, dark, 0:04:07.080 --> 0:04:09.800 and handsome. He was all those things. She goes, well, 0:04:09.800 --> 0:04:12.480 he wants to go out with you, and I'm like, 0:04:12.600 --> 0:04:18.320 oh wow, okay. So later that same night he approached 0:04:18.360 --> 0:04:21.960 me and started talking to me, but he started talking 0:04:22.040 --> 0:04:27.279 about the history syllabus, and I think he was nervous 0:04:27.360 --> 0:04:30.760 because talking about the history syllabus was kind of boring. 0:04:31.680 --> 0:04:33.880 Livy left the party underwhelmed. 0:04:34.520 --> 0:04:38.159 But two days later my friend called me and she said, 0:04:38.920 --> 0:04:40.719 we need a double date. He really wants to go 0:04:40.800 --> 0:04:43.760 out with you, and I'm like, okay, And we go 0:04:43.880 --> 0:04:47.279 on a double date to this French restaurant and he 0:04:47.360 --> 0:04:50.600 was an entirely different human being. He was charming and 0:04:50.680 --> 0:04:52.640 funny and much more relaxed. 0:04:53.640 --> 0:04:55.720 It was like she was really seeing him for the 0:04:55.720 --> 0:04:56.440 first time. 0:04:57.279 --> 0:05:01.159 I thought, Gosh, this guy's so fun. Wow, you know, 0:05:01.240 --> 0:05:06.440 I like this guy. And two days after that he 0:05:06.480 --> 0:05:09.480 asked me out again, and we just kept rolling and 0:05:09.600 --> 0:05:12.720 kept going out, and it wasn't long before we were 0:05:12.720 --> 0:05:13.920 an exclusive couple. 0:05:15.240 --> 0:05:18.599 Lebby felt like herself around Ted. He was the first 0:05:18.600 --> 0:05:19.960 guy to make her feel that way. 0:05:20.760 --> 0:05:24.159 I was really comfortable with who I was with Ted, 0:05:24.320 --> 0:05:27.200 like I was always laughing. He liked that about me. 0:05:27.520 --> 0:05:28.520 He liked the humor. 0:05:29.400 --> 0:05:32.400 But it quickly became clear that she and Ted came 0:05:32.440 --> 0:05:36.359 from different backgrounds. To borrow a term from the horse world, 0:05:36.839 --> 0:05:41.360 he had pedigree private boarding schools, country clubs and summer 0:05:41.400 --> 0:05:44.560 trips abroad, but he wasn't pretentious about it. 0:05:45.120 --> 0:05:47.680 Ted didn't seem to care that I didn't have any money. 0:05:48.760 --> 0:05:50.080 That didn't seem to bother him. 0:05:50.920 --> 0:05:54.760 The difference in their upbringing meant nothing. They just wanted 0:05:54.760 --> 0:05:55.440 to be together. 0:05:56.400 --> 0:05:59.800 The mundane things that you do by yourself that don't 0:05:59.800 --> 0:06:03.480 see being very fun or of course very fun when 0:06:03.800 --> 0:06:06.960 you are head over heels with someone, and we were. 0:06:08.279 --> 0:06:11.599 Libby felt safe when she was with Ted. He had 0:06:11.600 --> 0:06:12.720 that kind of confidence. 0:06:13.680 --> 0:06:17.760 He's kind of like that protector, and things were taken 0:06:17.839 --> 0:06:21.279 care of. If I was having an issue, here was Ted. 0:06:21.440 --> 0:06:24.400 He was taking care of everything. He was always that guy. 0:06:26.600 --> 0:06:29.240 After a few months of dating, Ted took Libby to 0:06:29.279 --> 0:06:33.240 meet his parents. They were in town for a fundraiser. 0:06:33.839 --> 0:06:37.240 And I didn't really realize what I walked into. They 0:06:37.279 --> 0:06:40.880 are a very politically connected family. The first time I 0:06:41.000 --> 0:06:45.120 met them, they were having a fundraiser for the governor 0:06:45.200 --> 0:06:45.920 of Indiana. 0:06:46.920 --> 0:06:50.200 Ted didn't really prepare her for this scene, and to 0:06:50.240 --> 0:06:51.919 be fair, he couldn't have. 0:06:53.200 --> 0:06:57.760 I'll walk in the foyer of this absolutely beautiful home, 0:06:59.000 --> 0:07:02.039 and at first, you know, you're just so nervous because 0:07:02.080 --> 0:07:04.600 I'm like, what do I have to offer in this conversation? 0:07:04.720 --> 0:07:09.400 What can I contribute? That is very intimidating for someone 0:07:09.560 --> 0:07:13.320 like me who came from the background that I came from. 0:07:13.880 --> 0:07:17.280 Lebby tried to stay quiet, smile and hide the run 0:07:17.280 --> 0:07:20.920 in her stockings, but above all, she wanted to make 0:07:20.960 --> 0:07:23.760 a good first impression with Ted's parents. 0:07:24.280 --> 0:07:28.040 Yeah, do you remember wondering if Ted's mother thought maybe 0:07:28.120 --> 0:07:30.040 I'm really not good enough first? 0:07:30.080 --> 0:07:30.280 Then? 0:07:31.400 --> 0:07:34.080 But I got through it and his parents were very 0:07:34.160 --> 0:07:34.640 nice to me. 0:07:35.600 --> 0:07:39.120 Ted's dad was a successful businessman and his mother was 0:07:39.120 --> 0:07:42.680 a philanthropist, a patron of the arts type. The night 0:07:42.720 --> 0:07:47.040 of the fundraiser, Libby was just herself. She made them laugh, 0:07:47.480 --> 0:07:50.360 and it turned out that was enough for the House family. 0:07:54.240 --> 0:07:58.320 Pretty Soon, Libby became a regular fixture at Ted's family events. 0:07:58.720 --> 0:07:59.840 They made her feel welcome. 0:08:00.840 --> 0:08:04.520 They never seemed ostentatious to me. They weren't people that 0:08:04.720 --> 0:08:08.200 bragged about money. They had money, but nobody was bragging 0:08:08.200 --> 0:08:11.880 about it. They were very supportive, and they were interested 0:08:11.920 --> 0:08:16.280 in me. Things just seemed so effortless with them. 0:08:17.000 --> 0:08:20.280 Ted's family genuinely loved being around each other. 0:08:21.160 --> 0:08:24.400 So you can imagine when I'm with this family where 0:08:24.400 --> 0:08:27.920 things are so easy, and there wasn't chaos. That's the word. 0:08:28.200 --> 0:08:32.720 There was no chaos. I loved them, I truly did. 0:08:34.320 --> 0:08:37.240 As they got more serious, she and Ted opened up 0:08:37.280 --> 0:08:40.600 about their flaws and tried to help each other grow. 0:08:41.800 --> 0:08:44.200 He was the kind of guy that would get really mad, 0:08:44.679 --> 0:08:47.000 but then he would be like, okay, I popped off. 0:08:47.040 --> 0:08:50.320 That was always his thing. But he does know that 0:08:50.400 --> 0:08:53.920 about himself. And I wasn't the best either, because the 0:08:53.960 --> 0:08:56.080 one thing that I did not come out of my 0:08:56.160 --> 0:08:59.760 house with was coping skills. I came out of my 0:08:59.800 --> 0:09:03.199 house like a piece of Swiss cheese. I had a 0:09:03.240 --> 0:09:03.880 lot of holes. 0:09:06.360 --> 0:09:09.680 Ted and Libby started talking about their future. They both 0:09:09.760 --> 0:09:13.360 knew they wanted to have kids and stay close to family. 0:09:13.880 --> 0:09:21.120 It was within a year he asked me to marry him. 0:09:21.360 --> 0:09:24.040 He was nervous, but it wasn't some big gesture. 0:09:24.880 --> 0:09:27.840 He proposed in her living room with the ring behind 0:09:27.880 --> 0:09:32.720 his back. She remembers seeing his nerves. He was shaking. 0:09:33.600 --> 0:09:35.240 He's like, you know, I'm not really good at this, 0:09:35.440 --> 0:09:39.520 but I want you to marry me. It was sweet 0:09:40.080 --> 0:09:41.000 and I liked it. 0:09:42.080 --> 0:09:45.880 Ted had the ring custom made and it came with 0:09:45.960 --> 0:09:46.960 a special meaning. 0:09:48.320 --> 0:09:52.800 This woman named b Roth made all three of the 0:09:52.880 --> 0:09:56.480 daughter in law's rings. My mother in law had a 0:09:56.600 --> 0:10:01.240 sapphire and diamond emerald cut I had a sapphire and 0:10:01.320 --> 0:10:05.640 diamond Marquis, but we all had the sapphire and diamond 0:10:06.040 --> 0:10:12.480 to match our mother in law. I couldn't believe that 0:10:12.640 --> 0:10:16.240 I was marrying someone like Ted, not because he came 0:10:16.280 --> 0:10:20.560 from money, but because I thought his family was so 0:10:20.760 --> 0:10:25.400 close and they seemed like a cohesive unit. It was 0:10:25.520 --> 0:10:27.480 like that dream I told you when I was young, 0:10:28.320 --> 0:10:30.800 I'm getting married and I'm going to have that family. 0:10:31.720 --> 0:10:34.880 I remember thinking it's all happening for me. 0:10:37.120 --> 0:10:39.959 Once they graduated college, Liby and Ted had a big 0:10:40.040 --> 0:10:43.400 church wedding. They both took jobs working for the State 0:10:43.440 --> 0:10:46.439 of Indiana, just over the border from Lexington. 0:10:47.160 --> 0:10:49.520 I worked for the Department of Insurance. He was in 0:10:49.679 --> 0:10:52.440 land and acquisition, so he would go and talk to 0:10:52.440 --> 0:10:55.520 people and they loved him. Ted could talk to anybody. 0:10:56.160 --> 0:10:59.080 I mean he could charm anybody, and they loved him. 0:10:59.520 --> 0:11:02.600 Ted was passionate about real estate, so he found them 0:11:02.600 --> 0:11:06.760 the perfect home. Even though they both worked. Ted's family 0:11:06.840 --> 0:11:09.960 money helped them close on that first house. 0:11:10.800 --> 0:11:12.640 I knew he had a trust fund, because that's how 0:11:12.679 --> 0:11:16.800 we bought our first house with his trust fund. Are 0:11:16.840 --> 0:11:19.760 we trying to make our house a home? His mother 0:11:19.800 --> 0:11:23.320 would always come over bringing gourmet goodies. 0:11:24.679 --> 0:11:27.480 That year, Libby got a special gift from her mother 0:11:27.520 --> 0:11:31.000 in law, something to symbolize their bond. 0:11:31.640 --> 0:11:35.880 Tut's mother had a circle pennant made for each daughter 0:11:35.920 --> 0:11:40.800 in law with little pearls around it, and she said, 0:11:41.600 --> 0:11:44.440 this is a symbol of our circle, our family, and 0:11:44.480 --> 0:11:45.600 that you're in the circle. 0:11:48.160 --> 0:11:51.120 Within the first year of their marriage, Libby found out 0:11:51.200 --> 0:11:56.160 she was pregnant with the baby girl. For a moment, 0:11:56.920 --> 0:11:59.280 everything felt perfect. 0:11:59.679 --> 0:12:08.960 About six months, I go to the doctor and there's 0:12:09.040 --> 0:12:10.360 no heartbeat. 0:12:14.000 --> 0:12:16.800 The baby had died. At six months. Ted and his 0:12:16.840 --> 0:12:20.960 family surrounded Libby, helping her through the grief. The doctors 0:12:21.000 --> 0:12:24.640 recommended she wait to get pregnant again, but she didn't. 0:12:25.200 --> 0:12:29.240 I that's that baby in May, and I was pregnant 0:12:29.240 --> 0:12:33.520 again in July, and then I had a healthy baby girl. 0:12:33.559 --> 0:12:38.520 At that point, it was a new beginning and they 0:12:38.559 --> 0:12:42.319 wanted a change of scenery to match. They started talking 0:12:42.360 --> 0:12:48.920 about returning to Louisville, Libby's hometown. 0:12:47.040 --> 0:12:51.439 And then Ted comes home and says, I've got big news, 0:12:51.800 --> 0:12:54.160 and I'm like, what kind of big news? And he said, well, 0:12:54.240 --> 0:12:57.680 I've got an offer to go into the mortgage business 0:12:57.679 --> 0:13:01.319 in Louisville. So when he said we're moving, I was like, yay, 0:13:01.559 --> 0:13:02.920 you know, going home. 0:13:03.679 --> 0:13:06.400 With their new baby. They packed up and started over. 0:13:06.920 --> 0:13:10.120 And we both got full time jobs. At that point. 0:13:10.600 --> 0:13:14.760 I worked for wait for it, a paging company, and 0:13:14.920 --> 0:13:20.120 pagers were the things that was big technology back then, 0:13:20.880 --> 0:13:25.319 and he obviously was in the mortgage industry. He started 0:13:25.320 --> 0:13:28.320 working for a friend and he was alone originator. 0:13:29.160 --> 0:13:32.640 The job came naturally to him. Before long, he started 0:13:32.679 --> 0:13:35.080 his own company, brokering mortgages. 0:13:36.040 --> 0:13:38.680 He liked it so much he started his own business. 0:13:39.559 --> 0:13:42.839 They seemed to do so well. He had a lot 0:13:42.880 --> 0:13:45.200 of employees that started working for him, a lot of 0:13:45.240 --> 0:13:48.120 them he knew. There were people that we knew, and 0:13:48.200 --> 0:13:53.200 it just seemed like this was just the absolute best job. 0:13:53.240 --> 0:13:55.320 He's got friends that work for him. 0:13:55.800 --> 0:13:58.200 The first few years in Louisville were like a dream. 0:13:58.840 --> 0:14:02.439 Libby had the normal family she'd always wanted. The only 0:14:02.480 --> 0:14:06.040 thing that wasn't going perfectly was Libby's health. When her 0:14:06.120 --> 0:14:09.560 daughter was a toddler, Libby began having intense back pain. 0:14:10.120 --> 0:14:14.480 She needed spinal surgery, but the pain persisted, so she 0:14:14.679 --> 0:14:17.760 and Ted sat down and decided that Libby should quit 0:14:17.800 --> 0:14:20.360 her job, at least for the time being. 0:14:21.120 --> 0:14:24.080 Ted said, you know, I'm making enough money, you don't 0:14:24.120 --> 0:14:28.360 need to go back to work. So I didn't. I 0:14:28.400 --> 0:14:32.800 would stay home for the next ten years. And that 0:14:33.800 --> 0:14:35.440 was a critical mistake for me. 0:14:58.760 --> 0:15:01.720 Ted's new mortgage business in Louisville was doing well enough 0:15:01.800 --> 0:15:04.560 for Libby to quit her job. That way she could 0:15:04.600 --> 0:15:06.800 focus on her health and their daughter. 0:15:07.800 --> 0:15:14.080 I did everything that stay at home moms do. You know, kids, playdates, 0:15:14.480 --> 0:15:16.280 everything they had to do with my daughter. You know, 0:15:16.320 --> 0:15:17.040 I was planning. 0:15:17.960 --> 0:15:20.880 It was Libby's job to handle their daughter's schedule, and 0:15:20.920 --> 0:15:24.600 Ted's job was to handle the finances, which he'd already 0:15:24.640 --> 0:15:25.480 been doing anyway. 0:15:26.280 --> 0:15:29.880 And I mean, I'm dyslexic. It affects my numbers. And 0:15:30.360 --> 0:15:31.800 Ted was like a human calculator. 0:15:32.480 --> 0:15:34.640 They'd been in Louisville a few years when. 0:15:35.080 --> 0:15:37.600 Ted came home and said that he had looked at 0:15:37.640 --> 0:15:41.040 this house in a neighborhood called Bridge Point, which was 0:15:41.080 --> 0:15:44.680 a very nice neighborhood, and that was a big leak 0:15:44.920 --> 0:15:47.880 as far as cost and the homes. 0:15:47.680 --> 0:15:51.680 He wanted an upgrade, something to reflect his success. Libby 0:15:51.680 --> 0:15:55.280 started drawing up renovation plans and interior designs. 0:15:55.800 --> 0:15:58.760 I walked in and I redid the whole thing, the yard, 0:15:59.400 --> 0:16:02.440 you name it. I did it. Everything that I conjured 0:16:02.520 --> 0:16:05.400 up in my head I was able to execute. 0:16:05.720 --> 0:16:08.640 When it was done, the house was perfect. It was 0:16:08.720 --> 0:16:10.520 going to be the forever home. 0:16:11.360 --> 0:16:14.320 Life seemed to be getting better and better and better. 0:16:16.040 --> 0:16:20.440 I never thought that money was an issue in my 0:16:20.520 --> 0:16:25.560 life at all. 0:16:25.600 --> 0:16:29.280 But Ted still wasn't satisfied. He wanted to become a 0:16:29.360 --> 0:16:33.560 Kentucky real estate tycoon, so he found new business partners 0:16:33.760 --> 0:16:36.800 to start another venture, flipping houses. 0:16:39.560 --> 0:16:46.320 Flipping homes in depressed parts of Louisville wasn't unusual back then, 0:16:47.200 --> 0:16:50.080 because the timeframe of this is two thousand, two thousand 0:16:50.080 --> 0:16:53.320 and one, two thousand and two, before the housing bubble burst. 0:16:54.280 --> 0:16:56.680 I mean, I knew so many people flipping houses. 0:16:58.120 --> 0:17:00.800 One of Ted's new business partners was a real estate 0:17:00.840 --> 0:17:02.360 consultant named Khalid. 0:17:03.000 --> 0:17:07.359 Khalid was a guy who grew up in a depressed 0:17:07.440 --> 0:17:11.680 part of Louisville, and Khalid had done well for himself 0:17:11.720 --> 0:17:15.800 business wise, so they went into business together flipping homes 0:17:17.240 --> 0:17:20.960 Khalid was from that area, and I think he knew 0:17:21.000 --> 0:17:23.720 a lot of people in that area, which made him 0:17:23.760 --> 0:17:24.840 a nice liaison. 0:17:25.400 --> 0:17:28.720 Ted and Khaled's business proved more successful than either of 0:17:28.760 --> 0:17:33.080 them imagined. The money was rolling in, and Ted really 0:17:33.119 --> 0:17:34.000 treated the family. 0:17:34.280 --> 0:17:37.879 We were able to do all of these things. For example, 0:17:38.240 --> 0:17:40.560 we were in Costa Rica. We were able to take 0:17:40.600 --> 0:17:45.040 our daughter to Bahamas, which was incredible. We were at 0:17:45.040 --> 0:17:48.280 Martha's vineyard. We were doing all these things that I 0:17:48.320 --> 0:17:51.880 could have never done. Now he's used to think this 0:17:51.960 --> 0:17:55.760 is great, you know, what a charmed life. I really 0:17:55.760 --> 0:18:03.560 truly was grateful for everything. And then things started to change. 0:18:03.960 --> 0:18:08.359 Because Ted's attitude started to change. He had always been 0:18:08.440 --> 0:18:11.920 quick to anger, but as Libby shared, he was quick 0:18:11.960 --> 0:18:14.959 to calm down. This time it was different. 0:18:15.600 --> 0:18:18.639 Like he would come home increasingly irritable, but I couldn't 0:18:18.720 --> 0:18:22.760 understand why it was ongoing. And I would ask him 0:18:22.800 --> 0:18:25.200 and he's like, oh, it's work, stress, it's work stress. 0:18:25.640 --> 0:18:27.600 Then he started waking up in the middle of the 0:18:27.680 --> 0:18:30.840 night like he was in a panic. But it was 0:18:30.960 --> 0:18:33.960 every night like clockwork, and I never can understand it. 0:18:34.080 --> 0:18:36.800 I'm like, what in the world, why do you wake 0:18:36.880 --> 0:18:39.040 up like this? Oh, I've just got a lot on 0:18:39.080 --> 0:18:45.920 my mind. I just thought, okay, well, there's stress. 0:18:46.760 --> 0:18:49.439 She knew his job could be intense. He was always 0:18:49.480 --> 0:18:53.200 managing multiple sales and home renovations, each had their own 0:18:53.240 --> 0:18:58.439 deadlines and expenses. But as the year went on, Ted's 0:18:58.440 --> 0:18:59.720 stress only mounted. 0:19:00.320 --> 0:19:04.600 But I kept asking and he kept getting a little 0:19:04.600 --> 0:19:08.320 bit short with me, and I was thought, gosh, what 0:19:08.480 --> 0:19:09.320 is the problem. 0:19:10.080 --> 0:19:13.199 Ted never shared details about his business with Libby. He 0:19:13.280 --> 0:19:16.679 kept it all inside, except for this. One day in 0:19:16.720 --> 0:19:19.800 two thousand and two. She walked into their bathroom to 0:19:19.840 --> 0:19:22.639 find Ted leaning over the sink and. 0:19:22.640 --> 0:19:24.560 I thought he was sick. And I said what's wrong? 0:19:25.160 --> 0:19:29.880 And his reaction was so unusual. He actually did have 0:19:29.920 --> 0:19:33.840 tears in his eyes and he said, it's that f 0:19:34.000 --> 0:19:38.000 N Khalid, And I said, what are we talking about? 0:19:38.280 --> 0:19:39.600 What's wrong with Khalid? 0:19:43.680 --> 0:19:46.600 Libby had met Khalid once or twice. He had always 0:19:46.600 --> 0:19:47.400 been polite to her. 0:19:48.960 --> 0:19:53.679 He's so angry, and he's saying, you know this, f 0:19:53.760 --> 0:19:58.720 and Khalid he screwed me over, He's gonna screw me. 0:19:58.720 --> 0:20:00.520 He just kept saying that over and our again. I go, 0:20:00.600 --> 0:20:02.280 I don't know what we're talking about. What are we 0:20:02.359 --> 0:20:05.239 talking about? And why are you angry with Khalid? And 0:20:05.280 --> 0:20:09.680 he said he's gonna screw me and he may kill you. 0:20:10.040 --> 0:20:17.359 He may kill our daughter. What those aren't words you 0:20:17.480 --> 0:20:21.879 expect to hear from your husband about a business associate. Ever, 0:20:23.760 --> 0:20:27.679 I was paralyzed for a second. I felt my chest 0:20:27.720 --> 0:20:30.560 tighten up because I thought, what do you mean kill? 0:20:32.359 --> 0:20:34.800 He's like, well, there's a business deal that's gone bad, 0:20:35.160 --> 0:20:38.320 and I don't know what that mf or will do. 0:20:42.000 --> 0:20:44.359 Libby wanted to go to the police, but when she 0:20:44.440 --> 0:20:47.879 said that, Ted quickly backtracked. He shook it off and 0:20:47.880 --> 0:20:51.440 told Libby to forget he ever said anything. But that 0:20:51.920 --> 0:20:55.560 wasn't going to happen. Her mind was racing. Was Khalid 0:20:55.680 --> 0:20:59.160 really threatening her and her daughter? Why would Ted say 0:20:59.200 --> 0:21:01.920 that to her? She got in the car and left 0:21:01.920 --> 0:21:02.280 the house. 0:21:03.359 --> 0:21:06.280 I start crying all that stress. I just start crying 0:21:06.320 --> 0:21:08.120 because I could not make sense of it. 0:21:08.880 --> 0:21:12.320 But when Libby returned home to ask more questions, Ted 0:21:12.440 --> 0:21:13.679 was gone. 0:21:13.920 --> 0:21:18.280 So I waited and waited and didn't come back. Well, 0:21:19.160 --> 0:21:22.119 I gathered myself together and I thought, I'm going to 0:21:22.240 --> 0:21:25.000 call his dad. I'm going to cause parents, and I 0:21:25.040 --> 0:21:27.840 can still remember his mother saying they were outside by 0:21:27.880 --> 0:21:33.399 the pool, and they absorbed all that information, but it 0:21:33.480 --> 0:21:36.280 wasn't like they were panicked like I was. 0:21:38.400 --> 0:21:42.760 A little while later, Ted's mom called back. Apparently they'd 0:21:42.800 --> 0:21:46.280 talked to Ted and he'd given them the full story. 0:21:47.320 --> 0:21:51.199 And they said, Teddy got a little spooped, and I 0:21:51.280 --> 0:21:54.960 thought a little spooped. You know, I didn't feel satisfied 0:21:55.000 --> 0:21:58.879 with that answer. She said, well, Ted's realized that Khalid 0:21:59.040 --> 0:22:02.320 might not be the most savory person. He's a little 0:22:02.320 --> 0:22:06.200 bit unsavory, and he's not going to consort with him anymore, 0:22:06.359 --> 0:22:09.600 do business with him. And I said, well, he said 0:22:09.680 --> 0:22:14.440 kill she goes he's just overreacted. I said, this seems 0:22:14.480 --> 0:22:18.720 a lot more serious than that, and she said, Libby, 0:22:19.160 --> 0:22:22.680 it's okay. He's not going to do business with him anymore. 0:22:23.040 --> 0:22:26.520 His dad's talked to him. And you know what, I 0:22:26.600 --> 0:22:34.720 believed that because his dad was telling me this businessman, stockbroker, 0:22:35.560 --> 0:22:42.120 graduate school educated man, highly respected, no nonsense man. If 0:22:42.119 --> 0:22:47.679 they thought that that was true, they just reassured me. 0:22:48.960 --> 0:22:52.320 They also advised Libby not to go around telling anyone 0:22:52.480 --> 0:22:57.320 about that conversation with Ted. She trusted his parents, but 0:22:57.400 --> 0:22:58.800 she was still unsettled. 0:23:00.040 --> 0:23:04.119 So that was not even a ragged flag. It was 0:23:04.160 --> 0:23:04.879 a red flare. 0:23:06.920 --> 0:23:09.680 When Ted finally came home, he didn't want to talk 0:23:09.720 --> 0:23:13.719 about it. He wouldn't talk about it. The house was 0:23:13.800 --> 0:23:15.440 filled with tension. 0:23:15.840 --> 0:23:20.800 And during that time things really started to go sideways. 0:23:22.280 --> 0:23:25.840 Ted's moods were so awful. 0:23:26.880 --> 0:23:31.600 Every day Ted was on edge. The days turned into weeks. 0:23:32.160 --> 0:23:35.479 So not only is he waking up at three o'clock 0:23:35.520 --> 0:23:38.399 in the morning, but I'm also waking up to the 0:23:38.440 --> 0:23:44.520 glow of the laptop. It's like he slept with that 0:23:44.600 --> 0:23:46.320 computer all the time. 0:23:48.560 --> 0:23:52.080 One night, Libby was home alone watching TV and she 0:23:52.200 --> 0:23:55.120 saw something that would change her life. 0:23:55.320 --> 0:23:57.120 I don't know if it was date lone. I don't 0:23:57.119 --> 0:23:59.280 know if it was sixty minutes, but it was a 0:23:59.320 --> 0:24:04.720 woman on TV and her husband died and she didn't 0:24:04.760 --> 0:24:10.439 know anything about her finances, nothing, and apparently she owed 0:24:10.920 --> 0:24:13.480 thousands of dollars to the IRASID. Of course she's on 0:24:13.520 --> 0:24:16.679 the hook because she signed those tax returns and she 0:24:16.960 --> 0:24:22.639 lost everything. And I was like, she is me, that 0:24:22.800 --> 0:24:23.040 is me. 0:24:25.240 --> 0:24:27.880 Since the beginning of their marriage, Ted had paid all 0:24:27.920 --> 0:24:32.240 their bills, paid off the credit cards, and managed their savings. 0:24:33.359 --> 0:24:36.800 When it came to their personal finances. She only knew 0:24:36.840 --> 0:24:40.840 what Ted told her, and as for his businesses, she 0:24:40.960 --> 0:24:42.119 was completely in the dark. 0:24:42.520 --> 0:24:44.240 So I went to him and I'm like, I want 0:24:44.240 --> 0:24:46.560 to fold her. And I wanted a fold her that 0:24:47.000 --> 0:24:50.679 showed me what happens if anything happened to him. I 0:24:50.720 --> 0:24:54.000 didn't know what would happen with the company, would his 0:24:54.080 --> 0:24:57.200 business partner buy me out? I mean, these were maybe 0:24:57.200 --> 0:25:01.880 even silly questions. I just didn't know anything. So when 0:25:01.880 --> 0:25:09.159 I started asking, he started pushing back, and I remember thinking, 0:25:10.359 --> 0:25:15.159 you know, that's not normal. Why is he defensive? 0:25:18.680 --> 0:25:22.240