1 00:00:04,795 --> 00:00:24,755 Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. Sure coincidence, 2 00:00:25,395 --> 00:00:28,355 Speaker 1: It'll be funny, it'll be entertaining. There will be some 3 00:00:28,395 --> 00:00:32,995 Speaker 1: shots fired tonight, the Press secretary to the President of 4 00:00:33,035 --> 00:00:36,475 Speaker 1: the United States about an hour before what a coincidence? 5 00:00:36,955 --> 00:00:43,755 Speaker 1: Shots were fired. I'm guessing you might have doubts about 6 00:00:43,795 --> 00:00:50,515 Speaker 1: Saturday Nights not really an assassination attempt theater? Was what 7 00:00:50,555 --> 00:00:54,235 Speaker 1: she said? Coincidence or a slip? Frankly, I think it's 8 00:00:54,235 --> 00:00:57,075 Speaker 1: a coincidence. I don't think that event Saturday Night was staged, 9 00:00:58,115 --> 00:01:00,195 Speaker 1: But I am beginning to think that among my fellow 10 00:01:00,235 --> 00:01:04,035 Speaker 1: Americans who are not in the Trump mass hypnosis cult, 11 00:01:04,795 --> 00:01:09,035 Speaker 1: I may be in the minority. Did Caroline Levitt use 12 00:01:09,035 --> 00:01:11,715 Speaker 1: that phrase because she was thinking about shots being fired 13 00:01:12,395 --> 00:01:17,595 Speaker 1: or just because she's so stupid and gross? I mean, 14 00:01:17,595 --> 00:01:20,875 Speaker 1: that's a head scratcher of a choice. Huh. Did her 15 00:01:20,915 --> 00:01:24,035 Speaker 1: sixty year old husband tell a Fox reporter before the 16 00:01:24,115 --> 00:01:28,475 Speaker 1: non assassination attempt that you need to stay safe because 17 00:01:28,515 --> 00:01:31,355 Speaker 1: he slipped or because he was just hitting on another 18 00:01:31,395 --> 00:01:34,355 Speaker 1: woman and while she was reporting what he had told 19 00:01:34,395 --> 00:01:36,955 Speaker 1: her on Fox? Did her phone line suddenly go dead 20 00:01:36,995 --> 00:01:41,675 Speaker 1: because somebody cut her off or because cell phones go dead. 21 00:01:42,995 --> 00:01:47,155 Speaker 1: Would Trump really stage some sort of non assassination theater 22 00:01:48,435 --> 00:01:51,955 Speaker 1: maybe again? Would you think that was possible just because 23 00:01:51,955 --> 00:01:54,555 Speaker 1: it's the Secret Service that's in charge of security wherever 24 00:01:54,635 --> 00:01:57,235 Speaker 1: the president is and somehow the Secret Service never thought 25 00:01:57,235 --> 00:02:00,355 Speaker 1: to see if Psycho's already staying at the DC, Hilton 26 00:02:00,715 --> 00:02:02,795 Speaker 1: wouldn't have had to go through half of the checkpoints 27 00:02:02,835 --> 00:02:08,195 Speaker 1: everybody else had. Is it suspicious that when CBS actually 28 00:02:08,235 --> 00:02:11,275 Speaker 1: asks the Acting Attorney General how the guy got across 29 00:02:11,315 --> 00:02:15,515 Speaker 1: state lines with a small arsenal of firearms, Todd Blanche says, 30 00:02:15,875 --> 00:02:17,955 Speaker 1: I don't think that's something we should be focused on. 31 00:02:19,115 --> 00:02:20,995 Speaker 1: Does that remind you of the fact that there's never 32 00:02:21,035 --> 00:02:25,835 Speaker 1: been an investigation of the security disaster at Butler, PA, 33 00:02:25,995 --> 00:02:28,915 Speaker 1: never mind anything else, and reportedly Trump has been the 34 00:02:28,915 --> 00:02:32,035 Speaker 1: one to make sure of that. Do you wonder why 35 00:02:32,115 --> 00:02:34,795 Speaker 1: they took so long to go and get Trump Saturday 36 00:02:35,275 --> 00:02:39,315 Speaker 1: and when they got him, they basically dropped him and 37 00:02:39,395 --> 00:02:43,035 Speaker 1: he face planted. Do you wonder why the White House 38 00:02:43,115 --> 00:02:46,115 Speaker 1: is selling this as both an assassination attempt and not 39 00:02:46,195 --> 00:02:50,355 Speaker 1: an assassination attempt at the same time, why White House's 40 00:02:50,475 --> 00:02:53,115 Speaker 1: protocol chief said this was the hand of God saving 41 00:02:53,155 --> 00:02:55,035 Speaker 1: Trump and the White House Chief of Staff tried to 42 00:02:55,035 --> 00:03:00,195 Speaker 1: start a USA chant and failed, but the acting Attorney 43 00:03:00,195 --> 00:03:03,515 Speaker 1: General said the attempted gunman quote was stopped before he 44 00:03:03,555 --> 00:03:08,555 Speaker 1: got anywhere. You're the president. That means by definition that 45 00:03:08,635 --> 00:03:11,075 Speaker 1: was not an assassination attempt. You have to be near 46 00:03:12,475 --> 00:03:16,715 Speaker 1: Todd Blanche confirmed it not an assassination attempt, a security incident, 47 00:03:17,195 --> 00:03:19,915 Speaker 1: and serious one, and by the way, it was contained 48 00:03:19,915 --> 00:03:24,795 Speaker 1: by the pros with no fatalities. Obama had more than 49 00:03:24,835 --> 00:03:28,595 Speaker 1: fifteen of these in his presidency, by the way. But 50 00:03:28,635 --> 00:03:31,355 Speaker 1: back to the point, if you have doubts, and a reminder, 51 00:03:32,315 --> 00:03:35,115 Speaker 1: I don't, even though I'm the guy who said Bush 52 00:03:35,195 --> 00:03:39,035 Speaker 1: was manipulating the terror threats twenty years ago for political advantage, 53 00:03:39,035 --> 00:03:40,915 Speaker 1: and everybody looked at me like I had three heads, 54 00:03:41,595 --> 00:03:45,075 Speaker 1: and then years later his first chief of Homeland Security said, no, 55 00:03:45,515 --> 00:03:50,075 Speaker 1: they were manipulating the terror threats for political advantage. I 56 00:03:50,115 --> 00:03:52,715 Speaker 1: don't have doubts. But if you have doubts, might you 57 00:03:52,795 --> 00:03:55,955 Speaker 1: have them just because two in a row now, a 58 00:03:56,035 --> 00:03:59,035 Speaker 1: guy with long guns somehow got through all the outer 59 00:03:59,235 --> 00:04:05,635 Speaker 1: security Trump perimeters. Would you consider your doubts possible just 60 00:04:05,675 --> 00:04:10,355 Speaker 1: because this this Saturday night, defined it this is Donald 61 00:04:10,395 --> 00:04:15,675 Speaker 1: Trump's America, donald Trump's America where violence is the primary currency, 62 00:04:16,275 --> 00:04:21,595 Speaker 1: or the threat of violence, or because Donald Trump eliminated 63 00:04:21,635 --> 00:04:24,395 Speaker 1: the peaceful transfer of power in this country, or because 64 00:04:24,435 --> 00:04:26,995 Speaker 1: on January sixth, Donald Trump started the coup attempt by 65 00:04:26,995 --> 00:04:30,515 Speaker 1: shouting fight like hell, and then in Pennsylvania Trump shouted 66 00:04:30,635 --> 00:04:33,475 Speaker 1: fight fight. But at his news conference after the non 67 00:04:33,515 --> 00:04:36,635 Speaker 1: assassination attempt Saturday night, he changed it back to claiming 68 00:04:36,715 --> 00:04:43,995 Speaker 1: he fought like hell. That's a coincidence, Or because Trump's 69 00:04:43,995 --> 00:04:46,715 Speaker 1: instinct was to take what he wants you to believe 70 00:04:46,795 --> 00:04:49,355 Speaker 1: was his near martyrdom and you should feel guilty, you 71 00:04:49,475 --> 00:04:52,555 Speaker 1: lib trd and turn that event into a homily at 72 00:04:52,555 --> 00:04:56,115 Speaker 1: his news conference about insecure locations and how this is 73 00:04:56,155 --> 00:04:58,635 Speaker 1: the final word is the reason for him to build 74 00:04:58,675 --> 00:05:03,675 Speaker 1: his goddamned ballroom he is obsessed with? Is it coincidence 75 00:05:03,915 --> 00:05:08,875 Speaker 1: that Trump has obsessed, deranged, in other words, worse than 76 00:05:08,915 --> 00:05:12,515 Speaker 1: his usual self about what he is now actually calling 77 00:05:12,555 --> 00:05:20,435 Speaker 1: his quote militarily top secret ballroom. And one night he 78 00:05:20,475 --> 00:05:24,515 Speaker 1: goes to another DC ballroom, like why are you going there? 79 00:05:25,355 --> 00:05:27,755 Speaker 1: And the ballroom security doesn't cut it, and there's an 80 00:05:27,755 --> 00:05:31,275 Speaker 1: incident in the ballroom, and then he and literally dozens 81 00:05:31,275 --> 00:05:33,515 Speaker 1: of his social media sock puppets, from Katie Miller to 82 00:05:33,555 --> 00:05:37,435 Speaker 1: Megan McCain to John fing Fetterman were ready with posts 83 00:05:37,835 --> 00:05:40,435 Speaker 1: insisting this settles it forever, no more discussion. You have 84 00:05:40,515 --> 00:05:42,755 Speaker 1: to build the ballroom, and you're a communist and you 85 00:05:42,795 --> 00:05:44,915 Speaker 1: want Trump dead if you don't support the ballroom, and 86 00:05:44,995 --> 00:05:46,915 Speaker 1: we have to have a ballroom. And then they sing 87 00:05:46,955 --> 00:05:51,275 Speaker 1: the national anthem and they get the words wrong, as 88 00:05:51,315 --> 00:05:54,475 Speaker 1: if any Reporters Association ever would agree to hold its 89 00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:58,995 Speaker 1: annual banquet at a government military facility, no matter who 90 00:05:59,035 --> 00:06:02,875 Speaker 1: the president is, unless it had decided to let the 91 00:06:02,915 --> 00:06:07,115 Speaker 1: government take over control of the Reporters Association, or the 92 00:06:07,155 --> 00:06:09,955 Speaker 1: government simply announced it was taking over control of the 93 00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:13,955 Speaker 1: Reporters Association. That's why you would have it at the 94 00:06:13,995 --> 00:06:18,395 Speaker 1: White House. Of course, half the MAGA thought when they 95 00:06:18,395 --> 00:06:21,355 Speaker 1: saw White House Correspondence Association that it was at the 96 00:06:21,395 --> 00:06:25,155 Speaker 1: White House. They also thought it was correspondent says in 97 00:06:25,195 --> 00:06:30,395 Speaker 1: writing letters. Or maybe the point is, maybe you would say, 98 00:06:30,795 --> 00:06:34,755 Speaker 1: you would say allowed or silently for a second or 99 00:06:34,755 --> 00:06:39,475 Speaker 1: for a week, that one word sure, because these people 100 00:06:39,475 --> 00:06:41,235 Speaker 1: have lied so many times about so many things that 101 00:06:41,315 --> 00:06:44,515 Speaker 1: is no longer worth the energy required to say no, no, 102 00:06:44,675 --> 00:06:47,435 Speaker 1: We must give them the benefit of the doubt. Lives 103 00:06:47,475 --> 00:06:53,755 Speaker 1: were at stake, people suffered emotional trauma Saturday night, while 104 00:06:53,755 --> 00:06:55,875 Speaker 1: they are literally whining that The New York Times did 105 00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:58,635 Speaker 1: not put their Little Dog and Pony show on its 106 00:06:58,675 --> 00:07:01,115 Speaker 1: front page in the edition of the paper that was 107 00:07:01,115 --> 00:07:08,635 Speaker 1: published half an hour before the event. Because Psychic Hotline, 108 00:07:11,275 --> 00:07:16,875 Speaker 1: are we all beginning to think maybe, well, maybe a lot. 109 00:07:17,235 --> 00:07:24,075 Speaker 1: Maybe Most of Trump's cult they believe Butler Pennsylvania was staged, 110 00:07:24,995 --> 00:07:26,475 Speaker 1: and some of them are so past the point of 111 00:07:26,515 --> 00:07:28,675 Speaker 1: caring that it might have been staged. It doesn't matter 112 00:07:28,715 --> 00:07:31,155 Speaker 1: to them if it was staged, or if Saturday was staged, 113 00:07:31,195 --> 00:07:35,875 Speaker 1: because anything for the cause. But this reaction, their reaction 114 00:07:35,995 --> 00:07:40,235 Speaker 1: to this not an assassination attempt, is so over the 115 00:07:40,275 --> 00:07:42,955 Speaker 1: top that it is clear they are desperate to convince 116 00:07:42,995 --> 00:07:46,915 Speaker 1: people this was the real thing when the acting Attorney 117 00:07:46,915 --> 00:07:51,395 Speaker 1: General says it wasn't. And by the way, the people 118 00:07:51,435 --> 00:07:56,195 Speaker 1: they are most desperate to convince are themselves. Maybe the 119 00:07:56,235 --> 00:07:58,835 Speaker 1: real point is it doesn't even matter if it was 120 00:07:58,875 --> 00:08:01,555 Speaker 1: staged or it wasn't. It's the reality that I would 121 00:08:01,595 --> 00:08:03,515 Speaker 1: defy you to tell me with certainty that you are 122 00:08:03,555 --> 00:08:07,115 Speaker 1: confident that nobody in that administration suggested something like this, 123 00:08:07,515 --> 00:08:10,675 Speaker 1: discussed something like this during the twenty twenty four campaign, 124 00:08:10,795 --> 00:08:15,195 Speaker 1: or now now as he's hemorrhaging support, trapped in a 125 00:08:15,235 --> 00:08:17,355 Speaker 1: war he doesn't have the intellect to get out of, 126 00:08:18,315 --> 00:08:24,275 Speaker 1: still facing the Epstein outcomes, and fifty five percent say 127 00:08:24,315 --> 00:08:26,915 Speaker 1: he no longer has the mental soundness to serve as 128 00:08:26,995 --> 00:08:29,715 Speaker 1: president when it was only forty eight percent late in 129 00:08:29,795 --> 00:08:32,675 Speaker 1: the campaign, and fifty seven percent say he doesn't have 130 00:08:32,715 --> 00:08:34,955 Speaker 1: the judgment to be president, at sixty percent say he 131 00:08:34,955 --> 00:08:37,195 Speaker 1: didn't have the temperament to be president, at sixty three 132 00:08:37,235 --> 00:08:39,995 Speaker 1: percent say no, as president, he does not care about me. 133 00:08:40,155 --> 00:08:43,395 Speaker 1: And all of those numbers are from a Fox News poll. 134 00:08:46,395 --> 00:08:51,835 Speaker 1: There's no chance they sat there and thought, ohh hose 135 00:08:51,875 --> 00:08:55,275 Speaker 1: correspondence dinner. That'd be so easy to do it there. 136 00:08:56,675 --> 00:08:59,355 Speaker 1: You ever been to the Hilton. I gonna bring a 137 00:08:59,395 --> 00:09:03,875 Speaker 1: tank in there, and nobody would notice. The gun doesn't 138 00:09:03,875 --> 00:09:06,635 Speaker 1: even have to get anywhere I'm near the president, And 139 00:09:06,675 --> 00:09:09,755 Speaker 1: then somebody else would have said, you're crazy, and somebody 140 00:09:09,795 --> 00:09:12,755 Speaker 1: else would have said, all the reporters will be drunk 141 00:09:13,155 --> 00:09:16,515 Speaker 1: and they're scared anyway, and they'll be unable to report, 142 00:09:17,195 --> 00:09:19,715 Speaker 1: and they'll all try to get the limited cell phone 143 00:09:19,755 --> 00:09:24,475 Speaker 1: service notoriously bad at that DC Hilton, And if we're lucky, 144 00:09:24,955 --> 00:09:27,955 Speaker 1: we can wind up blaming all this, not just on 145 00:09:28,035 --> 00:09:33,595 Speaker 1: the left, but on those scum reporters. Are you sure 146 00:09:33,635 --> 00:09:37,835 Speaker 1: there's no chance of that? Matter of fact, As I 147 00:09:37,955 --> 00:09:42,675 Speaker 1: have said, I don't think it was staged. I think 148 00:09:42,755 --> 00:09:49,235 Speaker 1: security perimeters do have holes. I think the Secret services overworked, unimaginative. 149 00:09:50,235 --> 00:09:52,875 Speaker 1: I think the screening equipment and is it not anywhere 150 00:09:52,875 --> 00:09:59,155 Speaker 1: close to infallible as the experts like to pretend. Most importantly, 151 00:09:59,195 --> 00:10:03,235 Speaker 1: I think there are coincidences. I mean I said it 152 00:10:03,315 --> 00:10:06,235 Speaker 1: here and on social media over and over again for 153 00:10:06,635 --> 00:10:10,075 Speaker 1: more than a week. Do not correspondence go to the 154 00:10:10,075 --> 00:10:14,475 Speaker 1: White House correspondent's dinner, and if you do, be prepared 155 00:10:14,515 --> 00:10:19,875 Speaker 1: to storm out of the dinner because of Trump. Now, 156 00:10:19,875 --> 00:10:22,955 Speaker 1: because I said that, does it mean I knew that 157 00:10:23,155 --> 00:10:26,875 Speaker 1: was going to happen? Did it even crossed my mind? 158 00:10:28,075 --> 00:10:34,035 Speaker 1: It didn't. There are coincidences I was talking about. Don't 159 00:10:34,075 --> 00:10:38,435 Speaker 1: go there, because you soil yourself whenever you're in Trump's presence. 160 00:10:41,915 --> 00:10:43,755 Speaker 1: As it turned out, as many of them have learned. 161 00:10:43,795 --> 00:10:46,555 Speaker 1: If you're at this security breach and you try to 162 00:10:46,595 --> 00:10:49,395 Speaker 1: report and you've had about six glasses of wine and 163 00:10:49,475 --> 00:10:52,275 Speaker 1: you go on CNN and you can't say anything other 164 00:10:52,355 --> 00:10:57,275 Speaker 1: than and then, uh uh, perhaps that's not doing your 165 00:10:57,275 --> 00:11:02,475 Speaker 1: career any good, Jake. And yes, I think what Caroline 166 00:11:02,515 --> 00:11:05,275 Speaker 1: Levitt said about shots will be fired was a incidents, 167 00:11:05,635 --> 00:11:08,075 Speaker 1: although how will she ever live that down? Not that 168 00:11:08,115 --> 00:11:10,955 Speaker 1: I want her to, but it was coincidence because people 169 00:11:10,955 --> 00:11:15,115 Speaker 1: say shit like that every day, especially violent, stupid people 170 00:11:15,155 --> 00:11:18,315 Speaker 1: like Caroline Levitt and Donald Trump who are losing their 171 00:11:18,355 --> 00:11:21,835 Speaker 1: grip on power and are panicking and beginning to understand 172 00:11:21,875 --> 00:11:25,115 Speaker 1: what happens to them unless the Republicans never lose the 173 00:11:25,155 --> 00:11:29,115 Speaker 1: White House ever again. And maybe some of them like 174 00:11:29,195 --> 00:11:33,435 Speaker 1: Levitt and Cash Bttel are shorting out. And Politico has 175 00:11:33,555 --> 00:11:36,595 Speaker 1: just reported Saturday morning, in fact, the cash Betel is 176 00:11:36,595 --> 00:11:40,555 Speaker 1: going to be the next one Trump fires. I don't 177 00:11:40,595 --> 00:11:43,635 Speaker 1: think it was state, but goddamn it, these putrid, despicable, 178 00:11:43,795 --> 00:11:47,995 Speaker 1: pond scum people Trump and the retread failures he surrounds 179 00:11:48,035 --> 00:11:50,955 Speaker 1: himself with, they have long since erased my confidence that 180 00:11:51,075 --> 00:11:54,195 Speaker 1: nobody would ever try something this stupid and this risky 181 00:11:54,235 --> 00:11:56,955 Speaker 1: and this deceitful with the life of the president of 182 00:11:56,955 --> 00:11:58,995 Speaker 1: the United States, even if he is the worst one 183 00:11:59,035 --> 00:12:01,555 Speaker 1: we've ever had, because he is the president of the 184 00:12:01,635 --> 00:12:07,675 Speaker 1: United States, and the FAFO rule actually applies. And this 185 00:12:07,835 --> 00:12:10,395 Speaker 1: is a country that two centuries ago tried a twenty 186 00:12:10,435 --> 00:12:14,035 Speaker 1: one gun salute for an admiral at a dock, and 187 00:12:14,075 --> 00:12:16,195 Speaker 1: they put to the guns too close to the admiral 188 00:12:16,475 --> 00:12:19,835 Speaker 1: and guess what, they never found the admiral's body. So 189 00:12:19,875 --> 00:12:23,795 Speaker 1: you're not supposed to play FAFO games with a president, 190 00:12:24,275 --> 00:12:28,875 Speaker 1: even if he thought it was a good idea. And 191 00:12:28,955 --> 00:12:32,395 Speaker 1: yet now I confess I don't have the energy anymore 192 00:12:32,435 --> 00:12:35,995 Speaker 1: required to say no, no, we must give them the 193 00:12:35,995 --> 00:12:40,475 Speaker 1: benefit of the doubt. Here lives, lives were at stake. 194 00:12:42,115 --> 00:12:44,315 Speaker 1: I now do not have the energy to at least 195 00:12:44,355 --> 00:12:47,115 Speaker 1: try to put up the pretense that something that callous 196 00:12:47,115 --> 00:12:50,115 Speaker 1: and that cynical, to say nothing of something that dangerous 197 00:12:50,155 --> 00:12:58,195 Speaker 1: and stupid could never be attempted in my America, my America. 198 00:12:58,235 --> 00:12:59,915 Speaker 1: When was the last time you thought of it like that? 199 00:13:00,675 --> 00:13:03,995 Speaker 1: If there is a tear in your eye about your America, 200 00:13:04,715 --> 00:13:07,515 Speaker 1: out of pride anymore and a confidence that we are 201 00:13:07,595 --> 00:13:10,715 Speaker 1: always at bare minimum, the worst country in the world 202 00:13:10,835 --> 00:13:15,155 Speaker 1: except for all the other countries that is no longer. 203 00:13:15,195 --> 00:13:22,115 Speaker 1: Why the tear is there? So about the correspondent's dinner thing, 204 00:13:23,595 --> 00:13:35,795 Speaker 1: there's sure cynical, and then there's also sure exhausted, And 205 00:13:35,835 --> 00:13:41,915 Speaker 1: I am now the latter sure on one other thing. 206 00:13:41,955 --> 00:13:44,835 Speaker 1: I've lost the energy to argue about anymore. Nobody is 207 00:13:44,875 --> 00:13:48,995 Speaker 1: in favor of political violence in this country, and shooting 208 00:13:49,115 --> 00:13:58,155 Speaker 1: Charlie Kirk remains indefensible. But goddamnit, Van Jones and every 209 00:13:58,195 --> 00:14:01,635 Speaker 1: other handwringer on the air, goddamn it, stop with. There 210 00:14:01,715 --> 00:14:04,715 Speaker 1: is no room for violence in our politics. And this 211 00:14:04,555 --> 00:14:07,835 Speaker 1: is not how we resolve our differences in this great country. 212 00:14:07,875 --> 00:14:11,715 Speaker 1: Holy crap. This is at best the second most frequently 213 00:14:11,875 --> 00:14:17,115 Speaker 1: used way we do resolve our political differences. Reagan was shot, 214 00:14:17,435 --> 00:14:20,875 Speaker 1: Ford was shot at point blank, Kennedy was shot and killed. 215 00:14:21,115 --> 00:14:24,515 Speaker 1: Franklin Roosevelt was shot at teddy. Roosevelt was shot as 216 00:14:24,515 --> 00:14:27,835 Speaker 1: an ex president running for reelection, so was Trump. McKinley 217 00:14:27,915 --> 00:14:30,315 Speaker 1: was shot and killed. Garfield was shot and killed. Lincoln 218 00:14:30,395 --> 00:14:32,675 Speaker 1: was shot and killed. Andrew Jackson was targeted by a 219 00:14:32,675 --> 00:14:35,675 Speaker 1: man with two guns, both of which jammed as he 220 00:14:35,755 --> 00:14:39,155 Speaker 1: shoved them at him. Count all the credible plots that 221 00:14:39,195 --> 00:14:42,275 Speaker 1: didn't get to a gun being drawn, and more than 222 00:14:42,315 --> 00:14:46,875 Speaker 1: a quarter of all presidents have faced assassination attempts. RFK 223 00:14:47,115 --> 00:14:50,035 Speaker 1: was shot and killed, Martin Luther King, Malcolm X Med Gravers, 224 00:14:50,195 --> 00:14:53,555 Speaker 1: Mayor Harrison of Chicago, Mayor Sirmac of Chicago, Mayor Moscow 225 00:14:53,675 --> 00:14:59,155 Speaker 1: of San Francisco, Harvey Milk, Huey Newton, Huey Long. What 226 00:14:59,155 --> 00:15:02,555 Speaker 1: do you think the goddamn Civil War was? It became 227 00:15:02,675 --> 00:15:05,555 Speaker 1: many things, but it started and it that ended with 228 00:15:06,555 --> 00:15:14,155 Speaker 1: political violence. There is no room for violence in our politics. 229 00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:19,475 Speaker 1: There should be no room. But that list that I 230 00:15:19,635 --> 00:15:22,795 Speaker 1: just read, those are just the dead ones. No room 231 00:15:22,995 --> 00:15:29,395 Speaker 1: for violence in our political system, My god, there is 232 00:15:29,515 --> 00:15:55,555 Speaker 1: room for almost nothing else. Just don't be hypocritical about it. 233 00:15:55,635 --> 00:15:57,915 Speaker 1: Just don't pretend that we are better than we are. 234 00:15:58,995 --> 00:16:01,555 Speaker 1: For two hundred and fifty years, we have done often 235 00:16:01,595 --> 00:16:04,515 Speaker 1: the best we possibly could, and sometimes it doesn't work. 236 00:16:05,435 --> 00:16:09,835 Speaker 1: Sometimes you can't control lunatics. But don't say it doesn't 237 00:16:09,875 --> 00:16:16,635 Speaker 1: have a place in our politics. Say you wish it didn't. 238 00:16:19,955 --> 00:16:22,835 Speaker 1: And by the way, how desperate are they? Nancy Mace 239 00:16:23,995 --> 00:16:27,395 Speaker 1: the last of her cheese whiz sliding off her. Ritz 240 00:16:27,395 --> 00:16:31,515 Speaker 1: Cracker sees a tweet from Ben Stiller's Saturday Night reading 241 00:16:31,875 --> 00:16:36,195 Speaker 1: just three words, got it done, and she jumps on 242 00:16:36,235 --> 00:16:41,235 Speaker 1: it with a furiously paranoid reply, God, what done. Turned 243 00:16:41,275 --> 00:16:43,995 Speaker 1: out the tweet was the last of a series by 244 00:16:44,035 --> 00:16:47,915 Speaker 1: Ben about the New York Knicks beating the Atlanta Hawks 245 00:16:47,955 --> 00:16:52,195 Speaker 1: in a playoff game. I don't know what's wrong with Mace, 246 00:16:53,155 --> 00:16:55,795 Speaker 1: but you have to remember that literally these people are 247 00:16:55,875 --> 00:16:59,795 Speaker 1: nuts or impaired, or drugged up or all the veterans 248 00:16:59,835 --> 00:17:05,115 Speaker 1: have PTSD or CTE. Look Ben Stiller is. It is 249 00:17:05,195 --> 00:17:08,595 Speaker 1: celebrating the non assassination attempt, where Trump was never in danger, 250 00:17:08,595 --> 00:17:17,875 Speaker 1: according to his own Attorney General, Jesus suffering f I 251 00:17:17,915 --> 00:17:21,835 Speaker 1: have found in these last eleven years that the safest 252 00:17:22,115 --> 00:17:25,755 Speaker 1: and most emotionally economical way to think of it is 253 00:17:25,795 --> 00:17:29,675 Speaker 1: to think of it this way. Those Walking Dead shows 254 00:17:30,155 --> 00:17:34,195 Speaker 1: and the ten million zombie movies, they are not horror films. 255 00:17:36,635 --> 00:17:49,915 Speaker 1: They are actually documentaries. I have to repeat the political 256 00:17:49,955 --> 00:17:52,275 Speaker 1: report that Patel will be the next one fired. This 257 00:17:52,395 --> 00:17:55,235 Speaker 1: is because of the rash of bad stories about him, 258 00:17:55,435 --> 00:17:58,755 Speaker 1: which now appear to be being fed to receptive outlets 259 00:17:58,795 --> 00:18:02,675 Speaker 1: deliberately the Intercept, which still has friendly connections to lots 260 00:18:02,675 --> 00:18:05,915 Speaker 1: of Republicans usually never Trumps got hold of a letter 261 00:18:05,955 --> 00:18:09,035 Speaker 1: that Patel wrote a decade and a half ago about 262 00:18:09,035 --> 00:18:14,715 Speaker 1: two public urination incidents. If you had gotten the list 263 00:18:14,715 --> 00:18:17,755 Speaker 1: of all the possible crimes that he could have committed, 264 00:18:18,355 --> 00:18:22,075 Speaker 1: you would have drafted public urination either with the first 265 00:18:22,155 --> 00:18:28,315 Speaker 1: or second draft choice, wouldn't you public urination incidents and 266 00:18:28,435 --> 00:18:30,675 Speaker 1: arrests and encounters with cops when he was a young 267 00:18:30,715 --> 00:18:33,155 Speaker 1: idiot as opposed to the older idiot he has become. 268 00:18:34,875 --> 00:18:37,315 Speaker 1: It'll be sad, though, if the public peing does cash 269 00:18:37,315 --> 00:18:41,235 Speaker 1: betel In, because bluntly, that was the most intelligent thing 270 00:18:41,275 --> 00:18:48,315 Speaker 1: ever to come out of him. I have two clips 271 00:18:48,355 --> 00:18:50,835 Speaker 1: I have saved now that I want to play that 272 00:18:50,915 --> 00:18:55,715 Speaker 1: are like all the Trumpian streams see what I did there, 273 00:18:56,075 --> 00:19:00,395 Speaker 1: streams of stupidity crossing. God bless him. Every time you 274 00:19:00,435 --> 00:19:03,155 Speaker 1: think Trump might wriggle out of this bottomless pit in Iran, 275 00:19:03,355 --> 00:19:06,395 Speaker 1: he does something new and stupid about it. First it 276 00:19:06,515 --> 00:19:09,395 Speaker 1: was to invoke Vietnam, which is still a third rail, 277 00:19:09,675 --> 00:19:12,675 Speaker 1: still our measuring stick for forever wars with no moral 278 00:19:12,795 --> 00:19:16,595 Speaker 1: justification and no truth, and which oh, by the way Vietnam, 279 00:19:16,875 --> 00:19:24,555 Speaker 1: which Trump dodged. Now he has, in the way his 280 00:19:24,635 --> 00:19:26,915 Speaker 1: mind works, or more accurately, the way his mind does 281 00:19:26,955 --> 00:19:29,755 Speaker 1: not work, managed to convince himself that because we had 282 00:19:30,555 --> 00:19:34,955 Speaker 1: people military advisors, I don't know, tourists in Vietnam, he says, 283 00:19:34,995 --> 00:19:39,755 Speaker 1: for nineteen years, because Vietnam happened and it was nineteen years. 284 00:19:40,275 --> 00:19:43,795 Speaker 1: That means nineteen years is an acceptable length for his 285 00:19:44,035 --> 00:19:49,795 Speaker 1: undeclared illegal war in Iran. And now because he's convinced himself, 286 00:19:49,835 --> 00:19:52,755 Speaker 1: he is getting pissed when nobody agrees with him, and 287 00:19:53,115 --> 00:19:59,635 Speaker 1: he keeps comparing Iran to Vietnam. The worst comparison he 288 00:19:59,675 --> 00:20:03,915 Speaker 1: could make, the comparison between Iran and the war he 289 00:20:04,115 --> 00:20:07,475 Speaker 1: personally he dodged. How long are you willing to wait 290 00:20:07,555 --> 00:20:09,235 Speaker 1: until you get a squad? 291 00:20:09,315 --> 00:20:12,515 Speaker 2: Don't rush me, Jeff? You know guys like you you 292 00:20:12,595 --> 00:20:15,195 Speaker 2: want to saw So we were in Vietnam like for 293 00:20:15,235 --> 00:20:15,915 Speaker 2: eighteen years. 294 00:20:15,995 --> 00:20:18,315 Speaker 1: What do you say to the American people who question 295 00:20:18,475 --> 00:20:21,275 Speaker 1: how much longer this will take? Obviously you know that 296 00:20:21,315 --> 00:20:23,395 Speaker 1: they are having You are such a disgrace. So you 297 00:20:23,435 --> 00:20:25,355 Speaker 1: know what I just said? Vietnam? 298 00:20:25,435 --> 00:20:26,835 Speaker 2: How many years was Vietnam? 299 00:20:27,555 --> 00:20:31,235 Speaker 1: God? Is he stupid? Wait? It's worse than that. You 300 00:20:31,315 --> 00:20:33,715 Speaker 1: heard the new plan to expand the numbers of means 301 00:20:33,715 --> 00:20:38,075 Speaker 1: of executions for death penalty cases, that they want to 302 00:20:38,075 --> 00:20:42,235 Speaker 1: bring back the firing squad, which I remember they used 303 00:20:42,235 --> 00:20:46,435 Speaker 1: in Utah when I was a teenager against that murderer 304 00:20:46,475 --> 00:20:54,595 Speaker 1: Gary Gilmore. The firing squad a very efficient means of execution. Well, 305 00:20:54,635 --> 00:20:57,235 Speaker 1: this led to the resurrection of a clip of Trump 306 00:20:57,275 --> 00:21:02,115 Speaker 1: from last August which somehow I missed top ten Trump, 307 00:21:02,475 --> 00:21:05,515 Speaker 1: in which it is clear that this ignoramus believes that 308 00:21:05,555 --> 00:21:10,395 Speaker 1: the phrase capital punishment has something to do with the 309 00:21:10,515 --> 00:21:15,155 Speaker 1: nation's capital. Oh God, is he stupid. 310 00:21:15,635 --> 00:21:21,795 Speaker 2: Anybody murders something in the capitol, capital punishment, capital capital punishment. 311 00:21:23,075 --> 00:21:28,115 Speaker 2: If somebody kills somebody in the capitol Washington, DC. 312 00:21:29,195 --> 00:21:33,875 Speaker 1: That was last August. How did I miss that? The 313 00:21:33,915 --> 00:21:36,075 Speaker 1: next stage, of course, would be Trump insisting we have 314 00:21:36,155 --> 00:21:40,075 Speaker 1: to have capital punishment for serious corporate crimes, because of 315 00:21:40,115 --> 00:21:51,275 Speaker 1: course those involve business capital. Also of interest here it 316 00:21:51,315 --> 00:21:53,475 Speaker 1: is one of the great dumb quotes of twenty first 317 00:21:53,515 --> 00:21:57,435 Speaker 1: century politics, and for once, it's not Trump, another bullying 318 00:21:57,475 --> 00:22:00,915 Speaker 1: Republican elected announcing that Iran is going to meet its match, 319 00:22:00,995 --> 00:22:05,875 Speaker 1: not on the battlefield but in the bargaining room. They've 320 00:22:05,915 --> 00:22:09,475 Speaker 1: never won a war, but never lost a negotiation. They've 321 00:22:09,515 --> 00:22:12,075 Speaker 1: never sat across the table negotiating with the guy that 322 00:22:12,155 --> 00:22:16,755 Speaker 1: wrote the Art of the Deal. Sparky. I hate to 323 00:22:16,755 --> 00:22:20,675 Speaker 1: break this to you, but Trump didn't write the Art 324 00:22:20,755 --> 00:22:25,035 Speaker 1: of the Deal? Who said that? All time great quote? 325 00:22:25,075 --> 00:22:30,635 Speaker 1: That's next. This is countdown. This is countdown with Keith 326 00:22:30,635 --> 00:22:54,115 Speaker 1: Olberman still ahead on this initiative. Countdown going to take 327 00:22:54,115 --> 00:22:57,075 Speaker 1: a break from reality and the possibility of the twenty 328 00:22:57,155 --> 00:23:00,995 Speaker 1: twenty eight election actually being the twenty twenty election and 329 00:23:01,155 --> 00:23:05,115 Speaker 1: White House obey in advanced dinners and let's all get 330 00:23:05,115 --> 00:23:09,475 Speaker 1: a photo with a Nazi night and skip things I 331 00:23:09,595 --> 00:23:12,995 Speaker 1: promised not to tell and instead read you some thurber 332 00:23:14,435 --> 00:23:19,795 Speaker 1: Mondays with Thurber the Black Magic of Barney Holler, partly 333 00:23:19,915 --> 00:23:22,915 Speaker 1: more brilliant Thurber humor and partly more fun being made 334 00:23:22,995 --> 00:23:27,395 Speaker 1: of German Americans, And as one of them, I say, 335 00:23:27,475 --> 00:23:31,155 Speaker 1: you can never have enough of that. In the interim, 336 00:23:31,195 --> 00:23:33,995 Speaker 1: we always have more new idiots to talk about. The 337 00:23:34,075 --> 00:23:37,235 Speaker 1: roundup of the mis grants, morons and Dunning krug effects 338 00:23:37,235 --> 00:23:42,995 Speaker 1: specimens who constitute today's other worst persons in the world. 339 00:23:44,155 --> 00:23:48,955 Speaker 1: The medallists the brons worst James Gio van Santi of 340 00:23:49,115 --> 00:23:53,115 Speaker 1: Staten Island, New York. You need more than the fact 341 00:23:53,155 --> 00:23:56,915 Speaker 1: that he's from Staten Island, okay. The news site streets 342 00:23:56,955 --> 00:24:01,115 Speaker 1: blog NYC reports that since the year twenty twenty two, 343 00:24:01,555 --> 00:24:06,235 Speaker 1: the cities quote, traffic cameras have caught his pickup truck 344 00:24:06,755 --> 00:24:10,595 Speaker 1: blasting through school zones or running red lights more than 345 00:24:11,195 --> 00:24:15,435 Speaker 1: five hundred and forty seven times in that one burrow. 346 00:24:16,755 --> 00:24:20,195 Speaker 1: He received one hundred and eighty seven camera issued tickets 347 00:24:20,395 --> 00:24:23,915 Speaker 1: in twenty twenty five alone, an average of one every 348 00:24:24,115 --> 00:24:28,435 Speaker 1: other day unquote. The blog also points out that the 349 00:24:28,475 --> 00:24:33,475 Speaker 1: cameras can't prove he's always the one driving, But what 350 00:24:33,595 --> 00:24:36,515 Speaker 1: he just loans his vehicle to other people who also 351 00:24:36,635 --> 00:24:39,275 Speaker 1: like to be menaces to life and limb on Staten Island. 352 00:24:41,115 --> 00:24:44,075 Speaker 1: So there's a bad human on Staten Island. Oh no, 353 00:24:44,715 --> 00:24:48,555 Speaker 1: whatever shall we do? Now? There's a twist to this one. 354 00:24:48,755 --> 00:24:54,075 Speaker 1: Streets Blog NYC reports that mister Giovancanti is actually Officer 355 00:24:54,195 --> 00:25:01,835 Speaker 1: Geo Vancenti NYPD one hundred twentieth Precinct on Staten Island. 356 00:25:01,835 --> 00:25:05,035 Speaker 1: He's a cop since twenty nineteen. Officer g Jo Van 357 00:25:05,155 --> 00:25:09,915 Speaker 1: Sante as Streets Blog NYC summarized it, quoting again to 358 00:25:10,115 --> 00:25:14,235 Speaker 1: protect and swerve. I would like to offer as a 359 00:25:14,315 --> 00:25:22,875 Speaker 1: repost NYC Blue through the intersection. They're runner up worser 360 00:25:22,995 --> 00:25:26,355 Speaker 1: Jeff Bezos, dictator in chief of the Washington Post and 361 00:25:26,475 --> 00:25:30,875 Speaker 1: chief supplier of plastics to Lauren Sanchez. We have to 362 00:25:30,955 --> 00:25:35,235 Speaker 1: recognize now that the Post's path is to become maybe 363 00:25:35,675 --> 00:25:38,835 Speaker 1: at best, at least damaging to America, a kind of 364 00:25:39,035 --> 00:25:43,155 Speaker 1: small letters version of the Wall Street Journal, occasional journalism 365 00:25:44,755 --> 00:25:48,075 Speaker 1: when Bezos doesn't know about it and it doesn't cost 366 00:25:48,155 --> 00:25:52,115 Speaker 1: him up to thirty dollars somewhere, But editorially it's going 367 00:25:52,155 --> 00:25:57,115 Speaker 1: to be fascism today, USA fascism today. Eric Wemple, the 368 00:25:57,115 --> 00:26:00,035 Speaker 1: New York Times formerly of the Post, pushed out there 369 00:26:00,115 --> 00:26:06,675 Speaker 1: for being good reports, this little journalistic from Bezos's toilet 370 00:26:06,715 --> 00:26:11,595 Speaker 1: paper with pictures. The paper blasted a bill called the 371 00:26:11,755 --> 00:26:15,795 Speaker 1: Faster Labor Contracts Bill, which would have allowed the government 372 00:26:15,835 --> 00:26:18,915 Speaker 1: to pressure management when it is stalling to weaken a 373 00:26:18,995 --> 00:26:21,595 Speaker 1: union or just avoid talking contract. And when we're talking 374 00:26:21,595 --> 00:26:25,315 Speaker 1: about stalls here, they're talking about stalls of multiple years. 375 00:26:25,795 --> 00:26:30,355 Speaker 1: While the Post wrote an editorial condemning this, they're in 376 00:26:30,435 --> 00:26:35,755 Speaker 1: favor of stalling labor negotiations because it's Jeff Bezos, and 377 00:26:35,795 --> 00:26:38,795 Speaker 1: the Teamsters wanted to write a letter to the editor 378 00:26:38,875 --> 00:26:44,075 Speaker 1: in reply. Now we're talking a letter to the editor 379 00:26:44,235 --> 00:26:47,195 Speaker 1: of a newspaper. I don't know the last time you 380 00:26:47,275 --> 00:26:51,155 Speaker 1: read a letter to the editor from a union about 381 00:26:51,155 --> 00:26:56,315 Speaker 1: how fast labor contracts should be negotiated. Important. I don't 382 00:26:56,355 --> 00:26:58,115 Speaker 1: think though it would be on my top one hundred 383 00:26:58,155 --> 00:27:01,875 Speaker 1: things to read if I had the moment. It couldn't be, 384 00:27:02,235 --> 00:27:06,515 Speaker 1: practically speaking, a big deal, even to Jeff effing Bezos. 385 00:27:06,595 --> 00:27:09,955 Speaker 1: Could it even to the Post, even to old cuball 386 00:27:10,075 --> 00:27:15,955 Speaker 1: noggin Bezos, Oh sure it could. The teamster's letterc contained 387 00:27:15,995 --> 00:27:21,235 Speaker 1: two criticisms, two paragraphs that actually mentioned Bezos by name 388 00:27:21,955 --> 00:27:27,755 Speaker 1: and detailed his stalling maneuvers at Amazon. Again, this is 389 00:27:27,955 --> 00:27:31,195 Speaker 1: sharp edged, but it's not going to start riots and 390 00:27:31,235 --> 00:27:34,755 Speaker 1: it's not going to knock Amazon's price down. The Post 391 00:27:35,075 --> 00:27:40,635 Speaker 1: refused to print the letter to the editor refused to 392 00:27:40,715 --> 00:27:45,275 Speaker 1: print an opposing opinion to one of its editorials in 393 00:27:45,395 --> 00:27:49,035 Speaker 1: the letter's column unless the Teamsters took out the references 394 00:27:49,075 --> 00:27:53,235 Speaker 1: to Bezos. The teamsters pointed out they weren't being gratuitous 395 00:27:53,235 --> 00:27:56,235 Speaker 1: they weren't just taking cheap shots at Bezos like I do. 396 00:27:57,195 --> 00:28:00,315 Speaker 1: Amazon's ability to just bury its unions and would be 397 00:28:00,435 --> 00:28:03,955 Speaker 1: unions as already the stuff of labor legend. They didn't 398 00:28:03,955 --> 00:28:07,755 Speaker 1: include him just to embarrass him. They included Jeff Bezos 399 00:28:07,755 --> 00:28:10,395 Speaker 1: because to not include Jeff Bezos in an article about 400 00:28:10,475 --> 00:28:14,315 Speaker 1: stalling labor contract negotiations would be like writing about baseball 401 00:28:14,475 --> 00:28:18,675 Speaker 1: and leaving out Shohey o'tani and Babe Ruth. And the 402 00:28:18,675 --> 00:28:23,115 Speaker 1: Posts still refused. They returned the letter to the Teamsters 403 00:28:23,275 --> 00:28:26,275 Speaker 1: with the parts about Bezos edited out, and said, we'd 404 00:28:26,275 --> 00:28:30,355 Speaker 1: be happy to print this letter. They're now rewriting the 405 00:28:30,475 --> 00:28:33,715 Speaker 1: letters to the editor. They're no longer letters to the editor. 406 00:28:33,755 --> 00:28:39,195 Speaker 1: Then are they their letters from the editors, You journalistic bastards. 407 00:28:40,515 --> 00:28:43,555 Speaker 1: The Teamsters withdrew the letter. The Post, fulfilling its new 408 00:28:43,635 --> 00:28:46,235 Speaker 1: role as a house organ for Trump, behaved exactly the 409 00:28:46,275 --> 00:28:52,475 Speaker 1: way Trump's organ would. It was small about things, but 410 00:28:53,955 --> 00:28:59,315 Speaker 1: the winner the worst, worse than Bezos, worse than Officer Speedo, 411 00:29:00,115 --> 00:29:05,515 Speaker 1: Tom Cotton, Senator from Arkansas, and Trump whorer. I mean, 412 00:29:05,515 --> 00:29:08,075 Speaker 1: this guy will say stupid things just to please Trump, 413 00:29:08,195 --> 00:29:10,795 Speaker 1: and he will say untrue things just to please Trump, 414 00:29:10,875 --> 00:29:13,515 Speaker 1: and he will say racist things just to please Trump, 415 00:29:13,795 --> 00:29:15,955 Speaker 1: and they look at him like he could take over 416 00:29:16,035 --> 00:29:19,915 Speaker 1: his Secretary of State tomorrow, probably because he has a 417 00:29:19,955 --> 00:29:23,915 Speaker 1: pretty good haircut for a Republican and the trumpst But 418 00:29:23,995 --> 00:29:27,275 Speaker 1: Tom Cotton has now topped himself. On Fox News, he 419 00:29:27,395 --> 00:29:30,755 Speaker 1: pushed some of the racism subtly, namely that those from 420 00:29:30,755 --> 00:29:33,675 Speaker 1: the Middle East aren't as smart as Americans. Let me 421 00:29:33,755 --> 00:29:36,835 Speaker 1: know when that's been true over the last say six weeks, Tommy, 422 00:29:37,955 --> 00:29:40,795 Speaker 1: he said something dumb, and he said something untrue, but 423 00:29:40,835 --> 00:29:43,875 Speaker 1: this time it was hilariously untrue. Tom Cotton went on 424 00:29:43,915 --> 00:29:47,235 Speaker 1: Fox News and predicted Iran's imminent defeat not just on 425 00:29:47,275 --> 00:29:51,555 Speaker 1: the battlefield but in the boardroom. Quote they've never won war, 426 00:29:51,835 --> 00:29:56,515 Speaker 1: but never lost the negotiation, Cotton twanged, quote, They've never 427 00:29:56,555 --> 00:29:59,915 Speaker 1: sat across the table negotiating with the guy that wrote 428 00:30:00,235 --> 00:30:05,635 Speaker 1: the art of the deal. Tom Trump didn't write the 429 00:30:05,755 --> 00:30:09,675 Speaker 1: art of the deal. It's kind of amazing. It's hard 430 00:30:09,715 --> 00:30:13,395 Speaker 1: to believe that Tom Cotton, who apparently did not cheat 431 00:30:13,475 --> 00:30:17,315 Speaker 1: or plagiarize or bribe his way through Harvard, doesn't know this. 432 00:30:17,475 --> 00:30:19,955 Speaker 1: So my guess would be he's just lying about it. 433 00:30:20,315 --> 00:30:24,075 Speaker 1: He knows this. He just doesn't care enough about America 434 00:30:24,515 --> 00:30:29,435 Speaker 1: to not tell his cult a gratuitous lie. Huh. Maybe 435 00:30:29,475 --> 00:30:32,475 Speaker 1: it's PTSD from Iraq. I don't know. Maybe it's the 436 00:30:32,515 --> 00:30:35,515 Speaker 1: cost of having a good haircut. Maybe he's just good 437 00:30:35,515 --> 00:30:37,835 Speaker 1: on exams at Harvard and he failed at everything else. 438 00:30:38,075 --> 00:30:40,715 Speaker 1: The Art of the Deal was written for Trump, ghost 439 00:30:40,715 --> 00:30:44,995 Speaker 1: written by Tony Schwartz, who ghost wrote apparently all of it. 440 00:30:45,355 --> 00:30:47,835 Speaker 1: There isn't anything in there that Trump actually wrote. There's 441 00:30:47,875 --> 00:30:50,755 Speaker 1: just a few sentences Trump allegedly took out because they 442 00:30:50,795 --> 00:30:53,195 Speaker 1: insulted some of his friends. That's the only thing Trump 443 00:30:53,275 --> 00:30:56,555 Speaker 1: had to do with it. They gave Schwartz co author 444 00:30:56,715 --> 00:30:59,755 Speaker 1: credit on the early editions. Tony Schwartz wrote the Art 445 00:30:59,755 --> 00:31:02,955 Speaker 1: of the Deal, not Donald Trump. So unless Tony Schwartz 446 00:31:02,995 --> 00:31:06,395 Speaker 1: is negotiating with Iran, oh you know, come to think 447 00:31:06,435 --> 00:31:11,555 Speaker 1: of it, if it's Kushner and this business clown witless whitcough, witshit, 448 00:31:11,635 --> 00:31:14,155 Speaker 1: whatever his name is, might as well be Tony Schwartz 449 00:31:14,515 --> 00:31:16,875 Speaker 1: negotiating on behalf of this country. In fact, I think 450 00:31:16,875 --> 00:31:20,915 Speaker 1: that might be an improvement. What am I saying here? Tom? Okay, 451 00:31:20,995 --> 00:31:23,675 Speaker 1: they've never sat across the table negotiating with the guy 452 00:31:23,675 --> 00:31:27,635 Speaker 1: that wrote the sequel Trump Surviving at the Top. No 453 00:31:27,795 --> 00:31:30,835 Speaker 1: Tom that was ghost written for him by Charles Leerson 454 00:31:31,755 --> 00:31:36,275 Speaker 1: Cotton Today's other worst person. 455 00:31:37,395 --> 00:31:38,435 Speaker 2: In the world. 456 00:31:54,235 --> 00:31:57,835 Speaker 1: After this White House Stenographer's dinner bull Squat. The last 457 00:31:57,835 --> 00:32:01,115 Speaker 1: thing you need is another media guy talking about himself. 458 00:32:01,915 --> 00:32:05,555 Speaker 1: So let's do Monday with Thurber instead. One of the 459 00:32:05,555 --> 00:32:09,635 Speaker 1: greatest realizations of reading everything from an author as skilled 460 00:32:09,675 --> 00:32:12,795 Speaker 1: and prolific as James Thurber is to realize he could 461 00:32:12,795 --> 00:32:17,915 Speaker 1: have specialized in something else and excelled at that instead. 462 00:32:19,035 --> 00:32:22,275 Speaker 1: Thurber was already America's top active short form humor writer 463 00:32:22,595 --> 00:32:27,275 Speaker 1: when his second career as a cartoonist was literally rescued 464 00:32:27,315 --> 00:32:30,115 Speaker 1: from the garbage by his colleague Andy White at the 465 00:32:30,155 --> 00:32:34,075 Speaker 1: New Yorker. Thurber liked to draw these stream of consciousness 466 00:32:34,195 --> 00:32:37,515 Speaker 1: pencil never really leaves the page drawings, mostly of dogs, 467 00:32:37,915 --> 00:32:40,195 Speaker 1: but he didn't think anything of them, threw them all away. 468 00:32:41,155 --> 00:32:43,075 Speaker 1: White saw one of them one day at the New 469 00:32:43,155 --> 00:32:45,675 Speaker 1: Yorker office that he really liked as Thurber finished it, 470 00:32:45,875 --> 00:32:48,635 Speaker 1: and as soon as he said something, Thurber neatly crumpled 471 00:32:48,635 --> 00:32:50,715 Speaker 1: it up into a ball and tossed it into the 472 00:32:50,715 --> 00:32:55,475 Speaker 1: nearest garbage can. What are you doing? White, shouted one 473 00:32:55,795 --> 00:32:59,235 Speaker 1: New Yorker art meeting later, and everybody there had agreed 474 00:32:59,795 --> 00:33:05,795 Speaker 1: Thurber was a true gifted, natural, unforced, stylish, hilarious cartoonist 475 00:33:06,355 --> 00:33:10,235 Speaker 1: who could also put them out like a dozen a day. 476 00:33:11,395 --> 00:33:14,475 Speaker 1: Everybody but him. He didn't get it. For a long time. 477 00:33:14,795 --> 00:33:18,155 Speaker 1: It was still a subject half of embarrassment and half 478 00:33:18,355 --> 00:33:21,315 Speaker 1: his conviction that they were playing a practical joke on him, 479 00:33:21,955 --> 00:33:23,955 Speaker 1: until they started to publish them every week in the 480 00:33:23,995 --> 00:33:28,395 Speaker 1: New Yorker. Then there are the other forms of writing 481 00:33:28,435 --> 00:33:32,955 Speaker 1: Thurber could have done. There are some dark Thurber stories. 482 00:33:32,995 --> 00:33:39,275 Speaker 1: I mean there are implied hatchet murders, and not like 483 00:33:39,315 --> 00:33:42,995 Speaker 1: the ones in his drawings where one fencer has clearly 484 00:33:43,275 --> 00:33:47,835 Speaker 1: completely cut off his opponent's head while calmly saying touche. 485 00:33:48,355 --> 00:33:50,875 Speaker 1: But you know, the victim, whose only emotion and reaction 486 00:33:50,915 --> 00:33:53,435 Speaker 1: to this is surprised, is simply going to grab his 487 00:33:53,555 --> 00:33:56,875 Speaker 1: loose noggin and promptly snap it back into place. There's 488 00:33:56,915 --> 00:34:01,235 Speaker 1: no blood, there's no guts, there's just laughs. I mean though, 489 00:34:01,275 --> 00:34:03,755 Speaker 1: that there are stories out there by James Thurber that 490 00:34:03,835 --> 00:34:08,475 Speaker 1: are full of murder murders and guys who sing the 491 00:34:08,515 --> 00:34:13,875 Speaker 1: same song obsessively day and night as they drift from 492 00:34:14,035 --> 00:34:21,115 Speaker 1: depression to anger to violence. And those stories are chilling 493 00:34:21,715 --> 00:34:24,875 Speaker 1: and just as well done as the humor. And Thurber 494 00:34:24,995 --> 00:34:27,475 Speaker 1: never gave up trying to be upbeaten funny and write 495 00:34:27,515 --> 00:34:31,595 Speaker 1: that stuff and set And then there's another part, a 496 00:34:31,715 --> 00:34:35,355 Speaker 1: third area he could have gone into, the spooky part 497 00:34:35,395 --> 00:34:40,235 Speaker 1: of Thurber, spooky as it was. The Great Master only 498 00:34:40,275 --> 00:34:47,955 Speaker 1: occasionally delved into the supernatural. Lots of Thurber's characters, like 499 00:34:48,035 --> 00:34:51,275 Speaker 1: his fictionalized version of his own mother, claimed to get 500 00:34:51,555 --> 00:34:54,475 Speaker 1: messages from beyond the grave and stuff like that, but 501 00:34:54,635 --> 00:34:59,035 Speaker 1: rarely did Thurber ever go a cult in the first person. 502 00:34:59,955 --> 00:35:02,355 Speaker 1: This is not true in one of my all time 503 00:35:02,475 --> 00:35:06,475 Speaker 1: favorites of his stories, The blame Black Magic of Barney Holler, 504 00:35:07,075 --> 00:35:09,835 Speaker 1: in which a slight accent turns into something that is 505 00:35:10,075 --> 00:35:13,915 Speaker 1: just right up against the line of being actually a 506 00:35:13,955 --> 00:35:19,675 Speaker 1: little scary but still hilarious. The Black Magic of Barney 507 00:35:19,715 --> 00:35:24,595 Speaker 1: Haller by James Thurber. It was one of those hot 508 00:35:24,675 --> 00:35:28,315 Speaker 1: days on which the earth is uninhabitable, even as early 509 00:35:28,355 --> 00:35:30,795 Speaker 1: as ten o'clock in the morning, Even on the hill 510 00:35:30,795 --> 00:35:33,915 Speaker 1: where I live under the dark maples. The long porch 511 00:35:34,035 --> 00:35:37,035 Speaker 1: was hot, and the wicker chair I sat in, complained 512 00:35:37,035 --> 00:35:40,035 Speaker 1: hot lye My coffee was beginning to wear off, and 513 00:35:40,115 --> 00:35:43,475 Speaker 1: with it the momentary illusion it gives that things are 514 00:35:43,555 --> 00:35:48,515 Speaker 1: right and life is good. There were sultry mutterings of thunder. 515 00:35:49,275 --> 00:35:50,955 Speaker 1: I had a quick feeling that if I looked up 516 00:35:50,955 --> 00:35:56,915 Speaker 1: from my book, I would see Barney Holler. I looked up, 517 00:35:57,675 --> 00:36:01,395 Speaker 1: and then there he was, coming along the road, lightning 518 00:36:01,515 --> 00:36:04,595 Speaker 1: playing about his shoulders, thunder following him like a dog. 519 00:36:06,475 --> 00:36:12,075 Speaker 1: Barney is, or was my hired man. He is strong 520 00:36:12,235 --> 00:36:17,875 Speaker 1: and amiable, sweaty and dependable, slowly and heavily confident, but 521 00:36:17,955 --> 00:36:25,275 Speaker 1: he is also eerie. He traffics with the devil. His 522 00:36:25,395 --> 00:36:27,755 Speaker 1: ears twitch when he talks, but it isn't so much 523 00:36:27,875 --> 00:36:31,955 Speaker 1: that as the things he says. Once in late June, 524 00:36:31,995 --> 00:36:34,555 Speaker 1: when all of a moment, sabers began to flash brightly 525 00:36:34,555 --> 00:36:38,475 Speaker 1: in the heavens and bowling balls rumbled, I took refuge 526 00:36:38,475 --> 00:36:41,035 Speaker 1: in the barn. I always have a feeling that I 527 00:36:41,035 --> 00:36:43,435 Speaker 1: am going to be struck by lightning, and either riven 528 00:36:43,635 --> 00:36:45,715 Speaker 1: like an old apple tree, or left with a foot 529 00:36:45,755 --> 00:36:48,315 Speaker 1: that aches. In rainy weather and a habit of painting, 530 00:36:48,995 --> 00:36:53,635 Speaker 1: these things happen. Barney came in, not to escape the 531 00:36:53,675 --> 00:36:57,595 Speaker 1: storm to which he is or pretends to be indifferent, 532 00:36:57,875 --> 00:37:01,515 Speaker 1: but to put the sigh the way. Suddenly, he said 533 00:37:01,555 --> 00:37:03,635 Speaker 1: the first of those things that made me when I 534 00:37:03,675 --> 00:37:07,715 Speaker 1: was with him, faintly creepy. He pointed at the house. 535 00:37:08,675 --> 00:37:11,555 Speaker 1: Once I see his boat come down to rock, he said, 536 00:37:13,155 --> 00:37:15,235 Speaker 1: it is phenomena like that of which I stand in 537 00:37:15,275 --> 00:37:20,275 Speaker 1: constant dread, boats coming down rocks, people being teleported, statues 538 00:37:20,355 --> 00:37:22,715 Speaker 1: dripping blood, old regrets, and dreams in the form of 539 00:37:22,795 --> 00:37:27,715 Speaker 1: Luna moths fluttering against the windows at midnight. Of course, 540 00:37:27,715 --> 00:37:31,235 Speaker 1: I finally figured out what Barney meant, or what I 541 00:37:31,355 --> 00:37:35,075 Speaker 1: comforted myself with believing he meant something about a bolt 542 00:37:35,395 --> 00:37:40,315 Speaker 1: coming down the lightning rod on the house, a commonplace 543 00:37:40,355 --> 00:37:44,075 Speaker 1: and utterly natural thing. I should have dismissed it, but 544 00:37:44,195 --> 00:37:47,755 Speaker 1: it had its effect on me. Here was a stolid man, 545 00:37:48,155 --> 00:37:51,635 Speaker 1: smelling of hay and leather, who talked like somebody out 546 00:37:51,675 --> 00:37:55,475 Speaker 1: of Charles Fort's books, or like a traveler back from 547 00:37:55,555 --> 00:38:00,315 Speaker 1: oz and all the time the lightning was zigging and 548 00:38:00,395 --> 00:38:04,515 Speaker 1: zagging around him. On this hot morning. When I saw 549 00:38:04,675 --> 00:38:08,035 Speaker 1: Barney coming along with his faithful storm trudging behind him, 550 00:38:08,155 --> 00:38:11,035 Speaker 1: I went back frowningly to my copy of Swan's Way. 551 00:38:11,795 --> 00:38:14,595 Speaker 1: I hope that Barney, seeing me absorbed in a book, 552 00:38:14,635 --> 00:38:19,475 Speaker 1: would pass by without saying anything. I read. I myself 553 00:38:19,515 --> 00:38:22,315 Speaker 1: seemed actually to have become the subject of my book, 554 00:38:22,675 --> 00:38:26,995 Speaker 1: A church a quartet, the rivalry between Francis the First 555 00:38:27,035 --> 00:38:30,355 Speaker 1: and Charles the Fifth. I could feel Barney standing looking 556 00:38:30,395 --> 00:38:33,995 Speaker 1: at me, but I didn't look at him this morning. 557 00:38:34,035 --> 00:38:38,155 Speaker 1: By and By, said Barney, I go hunt grocers and dvoodes. 558 00:38:39,595 --> 00:38:45,115 Speaker 1: That's fine, I said, and turned a page and pretended 559 00:38:45,115 --> 00:38:48,875 Speaker 1: to be engrossed in what I was reading. Barney walked on. 560 00:38:49,675 --> 00:38:51,995 Speaker 1: He had wanted to talk some more, but he walked on. 561 00:38:53,235 --> 00:38:55,995 Speaker 1: After a paragraph or two, his words began to come 562 00:38:56,035 --> 00:38:59,635 Speaker 1: between me and the words in the book. Bime By, 563 00:39:00,435 --> 00:39:06,355 Speaker 1: I go hunt grotches in dvoods. If you are susceptible 564 00:39:06,475 --> 00:39:10,275 Speaker 1: such things, it is not difficult to visualize grotches. They 565 00:39:10,315 --> 00:39:13,675 Speaker 1: fluttered into my mind, ugly little creatures about the size 566 00:39:13,715 --> 00:39:17,515 Speaker 1: of whipperwills, only covered with blood and honey and the 567 00:39:17,595 --> 00:39:24,595 Speaker 1: scrapings of church bells. Grotches. Who and what, I wondered, 568 00:39:24,875 --> 00:39:28,395 Speaker 1: really was this thing in the form of a hired 569 00:39:28,435 --> 00:39:33,275 Speaker 1: man that kept anointing me ominously in passing with Abra Cadabra. 570 00:39:35,995 --> 00:39:38,995 Speaker 1: Barney didn't go toward the woods at once. He weeded 571 00:39:39,035 --> 00:39:42,115 Speaker 1: the corn, He picked apple boughs off the lawn. He 572 00:39:42,195 --> 00:39:45,195 Speaker 1: knocked a yellowjacket's nest down out of a plum tree. 573 00:39:45,915 --> 00:39:48,115 Speaker 1: It was raining now, but he didn't seem to notice it. 574 00:39:48,595 --> 00:39:50,355 Speaker 1: He kept looking at me out of the corner of 575 00:39:50,395 --> 00:39:51,795 Speaker 1: his eye, and I kept looking at him out of 576 00:39:51,835 --> 00:39:54,915 Speaker 1: the corner of my eye. Vod dime, is it beneeze? 577 00:39:55,515 --> 00:39:58,315 Speaker 1: He called to me. Finally, I put down my book 578 00:39:58,355 --> 00:40:02,475 Speaker 1: and sauntered out to him. When you go for those grotches, 579 00:40:02,835 --> 00:40:06,595 Speaker 1: I said, firmly, I'll go with you. I was sure 580 00:40:06,595 --> 00:40:08,715 Speaker 1: he wouldn't want me to go. I was right. He 581 00:40:08,795 --> 00:40:12,155 Speaker 1: protested that he could get the grotches himself. I'll go 582 00:40:12,275 --> 00:40:16,755 Speaker 1: with you, I said, stubbornly. We stood looking at each other, 583 00:40:16,795 --> 00:40:20,555 Speaker 1: and then, abruptly, just to give him something to ponder over, 584 00:40:21,115 --> 00:40:25,635 Speaker 1: I quoted, I'm going out to clean the pasture spring. 585 00:40:25,955 --> 00:40:28,875 Speaker 1: I'll only stop to take the leaves away and wait 586 00:40:28,955 --> 00:40:32,115 Speaker 1: to watch the water clear. I may I shan't be 587 00:40:32,195 --> 00:40:38,795 Speaker 1: gone long. You come too. It wasn't, I realized, very 588 00:40:38,835 --> 00:40:42,115 Speaker 1: good abracadabra, but it served. Barney looked at me in 589 00:40:42,155 --> 00:40:48,435 Speaker 1: a puzzled way. Yes, he said, vaguely, it's five minutes 590 00:40:48,435 --> 00:40:51,555 Speaker 1: of twelve, I said, remembering he had asked. Then we go, 591 00:40:52,035 --> 00:40:54,555 Speaker 1: he said, And we trudged through the rain over to 592 00:40:54,595 --> 00:40:57,715 Speaker 1: the orchard fence and climbed that, and opened a gate 593 00:40:57,875 --> 00:40:59,715 Speaker 1: and went out into the meadow that slopes up to 594 00:40:59,795 --> 00:41:02,995 Speaker 1: the woods. I had a prefiguring of Barney at some 595 00:41:03,155 --> 00:41:06,875 Speaker 1: proper spot deep in the wood, prancing around like a goat, 596 00:41:07,755 --> 00:41:12,155 Speaker 1: casting off his false nature, shedding his hired man's garments, 597 00:41:12,595 --> 00:41:19,035 Speaker 1: dropping his teutonic accent, repeating diabolical phrases, conjuring up grotches. 598 00:41:20,835 --> 00:41:24,075 Speaker 1: It was a great slash of lightning and along bumping 599 00:41:24,115 --> 00:41:26,195 Speaker 1: of thunder. As we reached the edge of the woods, 600 00:41:26,275 --> 00:41:30,715 Speaker 1: I turned and fled, glancing over my shoulder, I saw 601 00:41:30,755 --> 00:41:36,315 Speaker 1: Barney standing and staring after me. It turned out, on 602 00:41:36,435 --> 00:41:38,875 Speaker 1: the face of it, to be as simple as the 603 00:41:38,915 --> 00:41:44,995 Speaker 1: boat that came down the rock. Grotches were crotches, crotched saplings, 604 00:41:45,475 --> 00:41:47,755 Speaker 1: which he cut down to use as supports under the 605 00:41:47,755 --> 00:41:50,675 Speaker 1: peach boughs, because in bearing time they become so heavy 606 00:41:50,715 --> 00:41:53,075 Speaker 1: with fruit that there was danger of the branches snapping off. 607 00:41:54,155 --> 00:41:57,595 Speaker 1: I saw Barney later putting the crotches in place. We 608 00:41:57,675 --> 00:42:00,275 Speaker 1: didn't have much to say to each other. I can 609 00:42:00,355 --> 00:42:04,235 Speaker 1: see now that he was beginning to suspect me too. 610 00:42:07,035 --> 00:42:09,995 Speaker 1: About six o'clock next evening, I was alone in the 611 00:42:10,035 --> 00:42:13,915 Speaker 1: house and sleeping upstairs. Barney rapped on the door of 612 00:42:13,955 --> 00:42:16,955 Speaker 1: the front porch. I knew it was Barney because he 613 00:42:17,035 --> 00:42:21,115 Speaker 1: called to me. I woke up slowly. It was dark 614 00:42:21,155 --> 00:42:25,835 Speaker 1: for six o'clock. I heard rumblings and soft flickerings. Barney 615 00:42:25,955 --> 00:42:28,995 Speaker 1: was standing at the front door with his storm at heel. 616 00:42:30,555 --> 00:42:33,035 Speaker 1: I had the conviction that it wasn't storming anywhere except 617 00:42:33,075 --> 00:42:36,155 Speaker 1: around my house. There couldn't without the intervention of the 618 00:42:36,195 --> 00:42:38,875 Speaker 1: Devil or one of his agents, be so many lightning 619 00:42:38,915 --> 00:42:45,435 Speaker 1: storms in one neighborhood. I had been dreaming of prost 620 00:42:45,755 --> 00:42:49,395 Speaker 1: and the church at Cambre, and meadowlands dipped in tea, 621 00:42:49,515 --> 00:42:52,515 Speaker 1: and the rivalry between Francis the First and Charles the fifth. 622 00:42:52,715 --> 00:42:55,955 Speaker 1: My head whirled and I didn't get up. Barney kept 623 00:42:55,995 --> 00:42:59,875 Speaker 1: on rapping. He called out again. There was a flash 624 00:43:00,035 --> 00:43:03,195 Speaker 1: followed by a sharp splitting sound. Now I leaped up. 625 00:43:03,995 --> 00:43:06,435 Speaker 1: This time I thought, he is here to get me. 626 00:43:07,515 --> 00:43:11,755 Speaker 1: I had a notion that he was standing at the door, barefooted, 627 00:43:11,995 --> 00:43:14,315 Speaker 1: with a wreath of grape leaves around his head and 628 00:43:14,355 --> 00:43:17,915 Speaker 1: a wild animal's skin slung over his shoulder. I didn't 629 00:43:17,955 --> 00:43:23,475 Speaker 1: want to go down, but I did. He was as usual, solid, amiable, 630 00:43:23,715 --> 00:43:26,515 Speaker 1: dressed like a hired man. I went out onto the 631 00:43:26,515 --> 00:43:29,515 Speaker 1: porch and looked at the improbable storm now on in 632 00:43:29,555 --> 00:43:32,955 Speaker 1: all of its fury. This is getting pretty bad, I said, meaningly. 633 00:43:33,435 --> 00:43:37,955 Speaker 1: Barney looked at the rain placidly well. I said, irritably, 634 00:43:38,035 --> 00:43:41,995 Speaker 1: what's up? Barney turned his little squinty blue eyes on me. 635 00:43:43,275 --> 00:43:46,675 Speaker 1: We go to the gaddic now and become warbs, he said, 636 00:43:48,595 --> 00:43:52,475 Speaker 1: the hell we do? I thought to myself quickly. I 637 00:43:52,635 --> 00:43:56,835 Speaker 1: was uneasy. I was you might even say terrified, but 638 00:43:56,915 --> 00:43:59,275 Speaker 1: I determined not to show it. If he began to 639 00:43:59,395 --> 00:44:03,155 Speaker 1: chant incantations or to make obscene signs, or if he 640 00:44:03,195 --> 00:44:06,035 Speaker 1: attempted to sling me over his whad shoulder, I resolved 641 00:44:06,035 --> 00:44:08,355 Speaker 1: to plunge, ride out into that storm, lightning it all, 642 00:44:08,395 --> 00:44:11,275 Speaker 1: and run to the nearest house. I didn't know what 643 00:44:11,315 --> 00:44:13,435 Speaker 1: they would think at the nearest house when I burst 644 00:44:13,435 --> 00:44:15,795 Speaker 1: in upon them, or what I would tell them, but 645 00:44:15,955 --> 00:44:19,875 Speaker 1: I didn't intend to accompany this amiable looking fiend to 646 00:44:19,995 --> 00:44:26,315 Speaker 1: any garrick and become a warb. I tried to persuade 647 00:44:26,315 --> 00:44:29,235 Speaker 1: myself that there was some simple explanation that warbs would 648 00:44:29,275 --> 00:44:31,795 Speaker 1: turn out to be as innocuous as boats on rocks 649 00:44:31,795 --> 00:44:36,075 Speaker 1: and grotches and divoods. But the conviction gripped me in 650 00:44:36,155 --> 00:44:39,915 Speaker 1: the growling of the thunder that here, at last was 651 00:44:40,235 --> 00:44:45,155 Speaker 1: the moment when Barney Holler or whoever he was, had 652 00:44:45,235 --> 00:44:49,115 Speaker 1: chosen to get me. I walked toward the steps that 653 00:44:49,275 --> 00:44:54,235 Speaker 1: led to the lawn and turned and faced him grimly. Listen, 654 00:44:54,595 --> 00:44:56,795 Speaker 1: I barked. Suddenly, Did you know that even when it 655 00:44:56,875 --> 00:45:00,475 Speaker 1: isn't brillig I can produce slythe toes? Did you happen 656 00:45:00,515 --> 00:45:05,115 Speaker 1: to know that the Momrath never lived that could outgrabe me? Yeah? Eithermore. 657 00:45:05,115 --> 00:45:06,995 Speaker 1: I can become anything I want to. Even if I 658 00:45:07,075 --> 00:45:09,875 Speaker 1: were a warb, I wouldn't have to keep on being 659 00:45:09,915 --> 00:45:11,795 Speaker 1: one if I didn't want to. I can become a 660 00:45:11,875 --> 00:45:14,795 Speaker 1: playing card at will too. Once I was the jack 661 00:45:14,835 --> 00:45:16,955 Speaker 1: of clubs, only I forgot to say my glasses off 662 00:45:16,955 --> 00:45:22,595 Speaker 1: and some guy recognized me. I Barney was backing slowly 663 00:45:22,675 --> 00:45:26,035 Speaker 1: away toward the petunia box at one end of the porch. 664 00:45:26,435 --> 00:45:29,915 Speaker 1: His little blue eyes were wide. He saw that I 665 00:45:30,235 --> 00:45:33,795 Speaker 1: had him. I think I go now, he said, and 666 00:45:33,835 --> 00:45:37,675 Speaker 1: he walked out into the rain. The rain followed him 667 00:45:37,675 --> 00:45:41,715 Speaker 1: down the road. I have a new hired man now. 668 00:45:42,315 --> 00:45:44,795 Speaker 1: Barney never came back to work for me after that day. 669 00:45:45,395 --> 00:45:48,195 Speaker 1: Of course, I figured out finally what he meant about 670 00:45:48,195 --> 00:45:50,995 Speaker 1: the garrick and the warbs. He had simply got horribly 671 00:45:51,035 --> 00:45:52,475 Speaker 1: mixed up in trying to tell me that he was 672 00:45:52,515 --> 00:45:56,035 Speaker 1: going up to the garret and clear out the wasps, 673 00:45:56,635 --> 00:46:01,715 Speaker 1: of which I have thousands. The new hired man is 674 00:46:01,795 --> 00:46:05,155 Speaker 1: afraid of them. Barney could a scoop them up in 675 00:46:05,195 --> 00:46:08,315 Speaker 1: his hands and throwing them out a window without getting stung. 676 00:46:09,995 --> 00:46:13,915 Speaker 1: I am sure he trafficked with the devil, but I 677 00:46:13,955 --> 00:46:29,675 Speaker 1: am sorry. I let him go. If we go to 678 00:46:29,755 --> 00:46:34,435 Speaker 1: the garrets and become verbes, the hell we do one 679 00:46:34,475 --> 00:46:39,475 Speaker 1: of my favorite Thurber couplets. I've done all the damage 680 00:46:39,475 --> 00:46:41,155 Speaker 1: I can do here. Thank you for listening. Let me 681 00:46:41,195 --> 00:46:44,435 Speaker 1: just remind you again, I don't think it was staged. 682 00:46:44,715 --> 00:46:47,195 Speaker 1: I'm just worried about the possibility that you think it's 683 00:46:47,195 --> 00:46:50,315 Speaker 1: staged and need to have it discussed for you. So 684 00:46:50,395 --> 00:46:54,595 Speaker 1: maybe we'll do this again on Thursday and every Thursday thereafter. 685 00:46:56,035 --> 00:46:59,795 Speaker 1: Couldn't have staged it. Look at what I mean they 686 00:46:59,915 --> 00:47:02,355 Speaker 1: dropped Trump on the way out. You could break him 687 00:47:02,395 --> 00:47:04,155 Speaker 1: at any point just by trying to pick him up. 688 00:47:05,835 --> 00:47:08,195 Speaker 1: I just don't think they had enough secret servicemen to 689 00:47:08,235 --> 00:47:11,435 Speaker 1: try to pull that off. How many guys you got 690 00:47:11,435 --> 00:47:13,835 Speaker 1: on assignment? No, I mean in all of the capitol, 691 00:47:14,675 --> 00:47:20,155 Speaker 1: three hundred and seven. Well, maybe that'll be enough. Our 692 00:47:20,235 --> 00:47:22,635 Speaker 1: musical directors have countdown who have nothing to do with 693 00:47:22,675 --> 00:47:26,635 Speaker 1: my remarks are John Phillips Chanel on keyboards, handling, orchestration, 694 00:47:26,715 --> 00:47:29,955 Speaker 1: and Brian Ray on guitarist, bass and drums. Their work 695 00:47:30,115 --> 00:47:33,555 Speaker 1: is produced by Tko Brothers. Nancy Faust, the best baseball 696 00:47:33,555 --> 00:47:36,195 Speaker 1: stadium organist ever, is responsible for these satirical and pithy 697 00:47:36,315 --> 00:47:39,715 Speaker 1: musical comments. The sports theme is from the Old Olberman 698 00:47:39,875 --> 00:47:44,235 Speaker 1: Show on ESPN two, written by Mitch Warren Davis Curtesy, BSPN, Inc. 699 00:47:44,755 --> 00:47:47,275 Speaker 1: Other music arranged and performed by the group No Horns 700 00:47:47,315 --> 00:47:50,715 Speaker 1: Allowed and my announcer today was my friend Kenny Maine 701 00:47:51,115 --> 00:47:54,795 Speaker 1: was also produced by ESPN two. At least Originally this 702 00:47:54,915 --> 00:47:59,275 Speaker 1: program was produced by Ted. Everything else was, as always 703 00:47:59,915 --> 00:48:03,595 Speaker 1: my fault. That's countdown for today, Day four hundred and 704 00:48:03,675 --> 00:48:06,595 Speaker 1: fifty three of a mator Arka held hostage again, but 705 00:48:06,755 --> 00:48:13,115 Speaker 1: exactly one thousand days one zero zero zero until the 706 00:48:13,155 --> 00:48:16,235 Speaker 1: scheduled end of his lame duck and lame brained term. 707 00:48:16,635 --> 00:48:20,555 Speaker 1: As of tomorrow, we have made it to just triple 708 00:48:20,635 --> 00:48:26,235 Speaker 1: digits have for us. The next scheduled countdown is Thursday. 709 00:48:26,275 --> 00:48:28,875 Speaker 1: Bulletins is the news merits until that next one. I'm 710 00:48:28,915 --> 00:48:33,235 Speaker 1: Keith Olderman. Good morning, good afternoon, good night, and good luck. 711 00:48:51,595 --> 00:48:55,555 Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. For 712 00:48:55,715 --> 00:49:00,635 Speaker 1: more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, 713 00:49:00,875 --> 00:49:02,835 Speaker 1: or wherever you get your podcasts