WEBVTT - Dead Ass: What Are We Really Made Of? 0:00:03.320 --> 0:00:06.560 Have you ever thought about how incredibly complex I spit is. 0:00:07.280 --> 0:00:11.280 It may only be water, but just aliva isn't simple. 0:00:11.800 --> 0:00:16.239 That remaining one percent holds incredibly meaningful information that could 0:00:16.480 --> 0:00:19.360 change everything. And I'm not just talking about your family 0:00:19.440 --> 0:00:24.000 treat Hi. I'm barretton day Thurston and on this season 0:00:24.000 --> 0:00:26.520 of Spit and I Heart Radio podcast with twenty three 0:00:26.520 --> 0:00:30.440 and Me, we explore how DNA isn't just about ancestry, 0:00:30.800 --> 0:00:36.960 it can also be key to understanding your health. What's 0:00:37.040 --> 0:00:41.000 up you and welcome back now. Codein and Devout Ellis 0:00:41.000 --> 0:00:44.080 of Dead Ass always keep it real. Whether they're talking 0:00:44.120 --> 0:00:47.120 about love, sex, marriage, or everything in between. You can 0:00:47.200 --> 0:00:49.040 always count on them to give it to you straight. 0:00:49.400 --> 0:00:52.160 And these two have a lot to say about their DNA. 0:00:52.720 --> 0:00:55.960 To quote Devol, it may sound cliche, but in order 0:00:55.960 --> 0:00:58.600 to know where you're going, you have to know where 0:00:58.600 --> 0:01:01.320 you've been. So code In and Devol have decided to 0:01:01.360 --> 0:01:03.840 take a twenty three and me test, curious to see 0:01:03.840 --> 0:01:06.720 what their DNA could tell them about their health and ancestry. 0:01:06.920 --> 0:01:10.000 As a married couple with kids, health is always top 0:01:10.040 --> 0:01:12.959 of mind, starting with your spouse. Codeine and Devo believe 0:01:13.000 --> 0:01:15.640 it's in your best interest to keep your partner healthy, 0:01:15.680 --> 0:01:18.600 which may sound obvious, but it's something we can easily 0:01:18.640 --> 0:01:21.920 neglect in all the chaos of our everyday lives, and 0:01:22.160 --> 0:01:24.360 what you can learn about your partner's health from twenty 0:01:24.360 --> 0:01:26.840 three and Me can make all the difference, even if 0:01:26.840 --> 0:01:29.640 it's as simple as encouraging them to eat right or 0:01:29.720 --> 0:01:32.600 making sure they're getting enough sleep of exercise. Knowing what 0:01:32.680 --> 0:01:35.360 to look out for is key, and when it comes 0:01:35.400 --> 0:01:38.679 to their kids, it's important for Codeine and Devol to 0:01:38.760 --> 0:01:41.360 not only model what it means to be healthy and proactive, 0:01:41.800 --> 0:01:44.119 but to use the knowledge that they have to teach 0:01:44.160 --> 0:01:46.000 their boys how to take the best care of themselves. 0:01:46.760 --> 0:01:49.560 Let's listen in as these two get real about how 0:01:49.640 --> 0:01:52.800 best to god their sons and themselves to live longer 0:01:52.840 --> 0:01:55.960 and healthier lives, and how the information provided by twenty 0:01:56.000 --> 0:02:03.840 three and Me can help. This may sound cliche, but 0:02:05.560 --> 0:02:08.600 in order to know where you're going, you gotta know 0:02:08.639 --> 0:02:15.160 where you're being dead ass. I I feel that, and 0:02:15.200 --> 0:02:17.120 I mean to be honest, some days I've been looking 0:02:17.160 --> 0:02:19.880 in the mirror and be like, girl, were you really 0:02:19.880 --> 0:02:28.440 from dead? As Hey? I'm Cadine and we're the Ellis 0:02:28.600 --> 0:02:31.480 is You may know us from posting funny videos with 0:02:31.520 --> 0:02:35.120 our boys and reading each other publicly as a form 0:02:35.160 --> 0:02:39.680 of therapy. Wait, I'll make you need therapy most days. Wow. 0:02:40.120 --> 0:02:43.000 And one more important thing to mention, we're married. We are. 0:02:43.560 --> 0:02:46.320 We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of 0:02:46.480 --> 0:02:50.120 life's most taboo topics, things most folks don't want to 0:02:50.120 --> 0:02:52.320 talk about through the lens of a millennial married couple. 0:02:52.480 --> 0:02:54.600 Dead as is the term that we say every day. 0:02:54.760 --> 0:02:59.079 So when we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts, 0:02:59.400 --> 0:03:01.840 the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. 0:03:02.080 --> 0:03:04.600 Were about to take Phillow Talk to a whole new level. 0:03:06.760 --> 0:03:11.480 Dead ad starts right now. So I'm gonna take this 0:03:11.520 --> 0:03:19.239 back to my elementary school days. Shout out Bethlehem Baptist Academy, 0:03:19.840 --> 0:03:23.280 also known as a Trade with Phield School, East New York, 0:03:26.120 --> 0:03:29.919 across from girlsh from Park, shout out Brooklyn Cozine and 0:03:30.000 --> 0:03:37.960 Van Sicklin. Um was it Stanley and Linden Boulevard. So 0:03:38.560 --> 0:03:41.280 I used to take the school bus when I was 0:03:41.320 --> 0:03:43.880 in elementary school. You know, um four or five, six 0:03:43.960 --> 0:03:45.920 years old. I was a bus kid, and I used 0:03:45.920 --> 0:03:49.680 take the school bus from Flatbush to Brownsville or East 0:03:49.680 --> 0:03:51.040 New York, So you know what that must have been 0:03:51.040 --> 0:03:52.760 like being on the school bus with a bunch of 0:03:52.760 --> 0:03:55.680 young kids and the cheese bus. Yes, And for people 0:03:55.680 --> 0:03:59.160 who don't know, I grew up in the Golden Eras 0:03:59.160 --> 0:04:03.560 of Brooklyn right the late early nineties, late eighties, early nineties, 0:04:03.600 --> 0:04:06.560 so literally it was eighty nine my first time on 0:04:06.600 --> 0:04:11.480 the cheesebus. I was five years old then, right, so 0:04:11.840 --> 0:04:15.600 getting on this cheese bus. And Bethlehem Baptist Academy was 0:04:15.640 --> 0:04:18.479 in elementary school that transitioned all the way through junior 0:04:18.560 --> 0:04:21.200 high school, so you were there from nursery all the 0:04:21.200 --> 0:04:24.120 way through eighth grade. So there was a huge age difference. 0:04:24.200 --> 0:04:26.040 Like I was on the bus with kids who are 0:04:26.040 --> 0:04:28.359 ten years my senior, and I reme getting on the 0:04:28.400 --> 0:04:31.640 bus and all of the older kids we kind of 0:04:31.680 --> 0:04:35.960 like choose which child, like the girls would choose which 0:04:36.040 --> 0:04:40.280 child was their son quote unquote little mother hands, you know, 0:04:40.839 --> 0:04:43.400 so they you know that I was a cute kid, 0:04:43.520 --> 0:04:44.960 and it was just, oh my god, he's so cute. 0:04:45.000 --> 0:04:47.320 That's my son. That's my son. And I remember this girl, Kesha, 0:04:47.520 --> 0:04:49.600 she used to like get me candy and stuff like that. 0:04:49.839 --> 0:04:53.400 And there was this one kid named round Mel. And 0:04:53.440 --> 0:04:55.400 another thing people don't understand is that you start to 0:04:55.400 --> 0:04:59.279 get like then you go through identity issues from elementary 0:04:59.320 --> 0:05:01.360 school to junior high school as your body is changed 0:05:01.400 --> 0:05:03.680 and everything's happening, and then you start to figure out 0:05:03.880 --> 0:05:06.320 who you are in the world through your peers. Your 0:05:06.360 --> 0:05:08.120 peers kind to tell you who you are. And I 0:05:08.120 --> 0:05:11.360 remember being on the bus and I think Rommel had 0:05:11.360 --> 0:05:13.880 a crush on Keisha, so he kept like just he 0:05:13.920 --> 0:05:15.719 was always around her, and Keisha was just always paying 0:05:15.720 --> 0:05:17.200 attention to me, and I guess he was kind of 0:05:17.279 --> 0:05:21.640 just like man, kind of jealous in a way, giving 0:05:21.680 --> 0:05:24.440 him no play. So he has said to Keisha, like, yeah, 0:05:24.480 --> 0:05:25.880 that can't be your son. It can't be your son. 0:05:25.960 --> 0:05:28.839 Like you black, he not even black. And I remember 0:05:28.880 --> 0:05:31.000 I was six years old and that hit me because 0:05:31.040 --> 0:05:32.520 I'm like, why would he telling why would he say 0:05:32.560 --> 0:05:34.040 I'm not black? And he's like, yo, look he mad 0:05:34.120 --> 0:05:37.320 light skin, He's not even black, he mad yellow. Hes Chinese, Mexican. 0:05:37.760 --> 0:05:41.960 So back in the day, like you know, well, colorism 0:05:42.040 --> 0:05:43.880 still exists today, but back in the day, when you 0:05:43.960 --> 0:05:46.479 was on the cheese bus going from Flatbush to Brownsville, 0:05:46.560 --> 0:05:49.360 you was on the bus with majority brown skin kids. 0:05:49.880 --> 0:05:51.280 So it was like when you was just the light 0:05:51.279 --> 0:05:53.159 skin kid, you know, I used to get picked on. 0:05:53.160 --> 0:05:54.880 You know, he's a light skin kid, you're liking kids. 0:05:54.920 --> 0:05:57.599 So I grew up in a time where you played 0:05:57.600 --> 0:05:59.960 the dozens and you joked on people, and people joked. 0:06:00.000 --> 0:06:02.960 I remember going home and realizing how it was affecting me, 0:06:03.080 --> 0:06:04.600 and I said to my dad, as a dad and 0:06:04.680 --> 0:06:07.520 my black some six you know six, you're still impressionable kid. 0:06:07.520 --> 0:06:10.039 And he was like, hell, yeah, you black? Why Like 0:06:10.040 --> 0:06:11.240 why are you asking me that? And I was telling 0:06:11.279 --> 0:06:12.960 him about Ramel and everything was going on the bus 0:06:13.000 --> 0:06:14.560 and him saying I'm not black and making fun of 0:06:14.560 --> 0:06:16.640 me and over because I was light skinned. So my 0:06:16.720 --> 0:06:19.360 father used to tell me jokes to tell back on people, right, 0:06:19.400 --> 0:06:20.880 So he was just like, yo, you gotta always have 0:06:20.880 --> 0:06:22.600 a joke for everybody when you walk in the room 0:06:22.640 --> 0:06:24.960 and have a counter joke. So he was like, what 0:06:25.000 --> 0:06:27.640 does Ramel look like? So I said, I don't know. 0:06:27.680 --> 0:06:30.000 He's a brown skinning kid, you know, kind of bigger 0:06:30.240 --> 0:06:32.240 or whatever. So he said, this is what you tell Ramelo. 0:06:32.279 --> 0:06:34.159 Because my pops is big on letting me handle my 0:06:34.200 --> 0:06:36.119 own conflicts like he wasn't gonna get on the bus 0:06:36.320 --> 0:06:38.839 and pressional fourteen year old. He was like, you say 0:06:38.880 --> 0:06:41.480 to Ramel, you said, Ramel, I in black. I'm telling 0:06:41.520 --> 0:06:43.039 me I'm not black, and you would be light skinned 0:06:43.040 --> 0:06:47.560 too if you took showers. Right. So I was practicing 0:06:47.560 --> 0:06:49.560 the joke. I was practicing the joke, practicing the joke. 0:06:49.640 --> 0:06:52.000 And finally, because he my father, is all about the delivery, 0:06:52.279 --> 0:06:53.600 you got to say at the right time. You can't 0:06:53.600 --> 0:06:56.039 be stumbling and fumbling and bumbling on this joke. So 0:06:56.120 --> 0:06:58.120 I practiced it all day. So I went back and 0:06:59.400 --> 0:07:01.440 I gave him. I told my father joke. He said, cool, 0:07:01.440 --> 0:07:03.960 I'm gonna give you a follow up joke, right, So 0:07:04.000 --> 0:07:06.000 I said, boom, Now I have two jokes going into 0:07:06.040 --> 0:07:08.159 the bus. So the next day going to the bus 0:07:08.480 --> 0:07:10.240 and you know, day that goes my son, days go 0:07:10.320 --> 0:07:12.040 my son, and of course Ral comes over. Yeah, that's 0:07:12.040 --> 0:07:14.040 not your son. You're not black. He's not even black. 0:07:14.680 --> 0:07:17.400 And I said, shut up right now. Because I was six, 0:07:17.440 --> 0:07:19.680 so my voices that high. I said, shut up right now, 0:07:20.320 --> 0:07:22.400 stop telling me I'm not black. You would be light 0:07:22.440 --> 0:07:25.520 skin too if he took showers. So since I was six, 0:07:25.640 --> 0:07:28.200 it was like cute to everybody right, Like it was like, oh, 0:07:28.360 --> 0:07:30.080 he got you right, man, we got your mouse from 0:07:30.120 --> 0:07:31.960 I was like funny and funny, but where he didn't 0:07:31.960 --> 0:07:36.040 know because I had to follow out and the one 0:07:36.040 --> 0:07:38.000 and the two. So then after everybody was laughing, I 0:07:38.000 --> 0:07:40.600 said that why you at it? Get abroad for them 0:07:40.640 --> 0:07:44.560 titties because he was heavy sack and he had a 0:07:44.560 --> 0:07:49.720 little man boobs at fourteen. Everybody was like oh, So 0:07:50.320 --> 0:07:51.840 at that point I was like, yeah, you know what 0:07:51.880 --> 0:07:54.480 I'm saying, Like I won. I won that battle. But 0:07:54.560 --> 0:07:57.280 you know how it affected me for a long time, 0:07:57.400 --> 0:08:00.680 especially through high school. I always wondered like why am 0:08:00.720 --> 0:08:03.240 I soul? Light skin? You know? And it did affect 0:08:03.240 --> 0:08:05.160 me because for a long time from six to seven, 0:08:05.200 --> 0:08:08.840 I was like, damn, am I really black? Because I 0:08:08.920 --> 0:08:11.600 just don't look like all the other black people that 0:08:11.680 --> 0:08:14.000 was on the bus. And even though it was all 0:08:14.080 --> 0:08:15.560 jokes and it was fine, I was able to get 0:08:15.600 --> 0:08:18.240 through it. I kind of wanted to know, like, why 0:08:18.240 --> 0:08:20.920 why am I light skin? You know? If if I'm 0:08:20.960 --> 0:08:23.120 black and we're all black, and when you look at 0:08:23.520 --> 0:08:26.440 history of all the you know, prominent black people back 0:08:26.480 --> 0:08:28.480 in the day, they were brown skin, and it made 0:08:28.480 --> 0:08:33.640 me wonder why I look like that? And as a child, 0:08:34.440 --> 0:08:36.840 you want your parents to give you the history of 0:08:36.880 --> 0:08:39.520 who you are, absolutely and if they can't give you 0:08:39.559 --> 0:08:43.199 the history, baby, you're gonna search for it. Now we're searching. 0:08:43.760 --> 0:08:46.720 You want to mission, y'all pull up in that monster 0:08:46.840 --> 0:08:50.719 automobile gangster with a bad bitch that came from link. Yeah, 0:08:51.000 --> 0:08:53.679 that Sonka color, Willy Wonka. You could be the king, 0:08:53.720 --> 0:08:56.680 but watch the queen ConA. First things first, out eat 0:08:56.760 --> 0:08:59.440 your brain. I'm gonna start rock and gold teeth and things, 0:08:59.480 --> 0:09:02.480 because that's what a motherfucking monster do. Hey, dressed up, 0:09:02.480 --> 0:09:04.959 im alan, that's a monster do that? Does it? Here? 0:09:05.160 --> 0:09:07.360 The monster sho and money is the roster and the 0:09:07.440 --> 0:09:12.000 monster crew. And in the face with the money, that 0:09:12.040 --> 0:09:18.439 money ain't. I have to control my breathing. Favorite part 0:09:18.520 --> 0:09:20.480 was coming pull up all up in the bank with 0:09:20.520 --> 0:09:23.000 the funny face, and I think I noticed because your 0:09:23.040 --> 0:09:25.320 money ain't we let me get this right, shake yeah, 0:09:25.480 --> 0:09:27.640 so let me get this straight. I'm the rookie and 0:09:27.640 --> 0:09:30.240 my features in the show. Some times you pay for 0:09:30.800 --> 0:09:33.400 no album out. My money so tall that my body 0:09:33.480 --> 0:09:42.360 got a climate mentalist, the Climateanta man, she killed that. 0:09:42.480 --> 0:09:47.839 She smashed that freakingverse. Y'all smashed it. Um, So yeah, 0:09:48.640 --> 0:09:51.679 I hope you were able to sing along. Nikki was 0:09:51.720 --> 0:09:54.080 good for that. If that that like breathing control that 0:09:54.120 --> 0:09:58.840 you had to have on that gift, that's performing that. Yes, 0:09:59.120 --> 0:10:03.480 performing that is great. So shout out to Nicki Minaj. Yes, yes, 0:10:03.559 --> 0:10:06.120 all right, So yeah, we're gonna take a quick break. 0:10:06.400 --> 0:10:08.720 Let me catch my breath so I can actually finish 0:10:08.760 --> 0:10:12.439 the podcast actually talk to y'all. All right, so we 0:10:12.600 --> 0:10:15.120 let let's get back into the story time and how 0:10:15.400 --> 0:10:20.240 you were having somewhat of an identity crisis life because 0:10:20.280 --> 0:10:22.400 it wasn't it wasn't a midlife it wasn't even a 0:10:22.440 --> 0:10:25.560 quarter life crisis. I was six, And I can't even 0:10:25.559 --> 0:10:28.840 say it's a tenth life crisis because I I hope 0:10:28.880 --> 0:10:32.760 to live way longer than sixty years old. Absolutely you will, Yes, 0:10:32.800 --> 0:10:35.040 I will. I call it a fifth life crisis if 0:10:35.040 --> 0:10:39.920 I could be once I've reached my potential years. You 0:10:40.120 --> 0:10:42.440 have done everything you're supposed to do. But um, I 0:10:42.480 --> 0:10:46.360 remember feeling like I just wanted to know why I 0:10:46.360 --> 0:10:50.000 looked the way I look who I was. Um. I've 0:10:50.040 --> 0:10:53.600 always been big on history. Even as a child, I 0:10:53.600 --> 0:10:55.360 just wanted to know. I used to ask my grandparents 0:10:55.360 --> 0:10:57.600 a lot of questions and ask my parents a lot 0:10:57.600 --> 0:11:01.120 of questions and look at photographs of my family and 0:11:01.600 --> 0:11:05.520 you should just see a mix of people. But I 0:11:05.559 --> 0:11:08.560 just wanted to know where did they come from? You know. 0:11:09.040 --> 0:11:11.640 That's that's um. I can totally relate to that because 0:11:12.880 --> 0:11:15.960 growing up too, I was also kind of you know, 0:11:16.280 --> 0:11:18.280 teased in a sense, I guess, not bully per se, 0:11:18.280 --> 0:11:20.040 but just tease. You know. Kids will always try to 0:11:20.080 --> 0:11:22.079 pick out, pick out something that they want to just 0:11:22.160 --> 0:11:23.760 kind of get on you about. And for me, it 0:11:23.880 --> 0:11:28.240 was like, um, having really hairy arms and legs, and 0:11:28.400 --> 0:11:31.080 I mean like not just no regular hairy, like hairy 0:11:31.080 --> 0:11:32.679 hairy to the point now where it was a thing 0:11:32.720 --> 0:11:34.480 where when I used to lotion my arms and legs 0:11:34.520 --> 0:11:36.439 like before gym class, because my mom would like pack 0:11:36.520 --> 0:11:38.320 my gym bag with my uniform and she'd be like, 0:11:38.559 --> 0:11:40.400 you know, make sure you're not actually and put lotion on. 0:11:40.679 --> 0:11:42.200 So I put the lotion on my legs, I would 0:11:42.240 --> 0:11:44.960 have to like strategically like not go back and forth, 0:11:44.960 --> 0:11:48.439 but like like lotion downward so the hairs could all 0:11:48.480 --> 0:11:51.480 like la laid down in the same direction because I 0:11:51.600 --> 0:11:54.640 looked crazy as a girl with mad hairy legs and 0:11:54.760 --> 0:11:56.719 arms and the hair is one of mad different directions. 0:11:57.320 --> 0:11:59.200 And then and shout out to my father that eventually 0:11:59.400 --> 0:12:02.040 allowed me to shave my legs because he totally felt 0:12:02.080 --> 0:12:04.160 like the hair on my body was like the gift 0:12:04.200 --> 0:12:07.160 from God that all women should have for the rest 0:12:07.160 --> 0:12:12.959 of their life. You could love that joint on your wife, 0:12:13.080 --> 0:12:15.120 but on me, No, that was a big battle. Is 0:12:15.200 --> 0:12:17.720 like Candian shaved her legs. Oh my god, let's like 0:12:17.920 --> 0:12:20.920 send out, you know, the army and the military, because 0:12:22.360 --> 0:12:28.160 legs told me one time, please don't repeat it, please don't. Um. 0:12:29.040 --> 0:12:32.080 But they used to be called wolverine till teen wolves, 0:12:32.120 --> 0:12:34.959 things like that, So my dad and mom would just 0:12:35.000 --> 0:12:36.880 explain it, like, you know, that's just your Indian side, 0:12:36.920 --> 0:12:39.080 like you know Indian people in superheroes. So and I'd 0:12:39.120 --> 0:12:42.080 be like, oh, I didn't know, Okay, Yeah, you're Indian 0:12:42.080 --> 0:12:44.520 and you're black. I'm like, okay, cool. That was enough 0:12:44.520 --> 0:12:48.440 for me, um. But now we have resources out there 0:12:48.920 --> 0:12:53.040 like twenty three and me okay, and they're able to 0:12:53.080 --> 0:12:56.400 give us a report on where you really come from, 0:12:56.760 --> 0:12:59.120 which is pretty fascinating to me. Part of the reason 0:12:59.200 --> 0:13:01.840 why we chose to work with twenty three and because 0:13:01.840 --> 0:13:04.120 it's not only about where you come from, why you 0:13:04.160 --> 0:13:06.040 look the way you look, but they also give you 0:13:06.040 --> 0:13:09.960 a report for um, some health risks that may be 0:13:10.120 --> 0:13:13.760 a product of your ancestry, so you can find out. 0:13:13.800 --> 0:13:16.000 It's not a diagnosis, it's not a cure, it's not 0:13:16.000 --> 0:13:18.120 going to tell you how to fix anything, but it 0:13:18.120 --> 0:13:20.839 will tell you because of where you've come from and 0:13:20.960 --> 0:13:23.760 what you are, these are the risk the associated risk 0:13:23.840 --> 0:13:26.480 that could be a problem for you based on your 0:13:26.480 --> 0:13:29.640 blood oh for sure, not blessing based on your genetics. Absolutely, 0:13:29.640 --> 0:13:30.760 And I feel like you know, as a parent of 0:13:30.760 --> 0:13:33.120 four boys, it's really important for us to you know, 0:13:33.880 --> 0:13:36.640 not only model what it means to be healthy and productive, 0:13:36.679 --> 0:13:38.720 but to also use the knowledge that we have to 0:13:38.760 --> 0:13:40.719 teach them how to best take care of yourselves. So 0:13:41.080 --> 0:13:43.200 in this episode, we're going to talk through the genetic 0:13:43.320 --> 0:13:46.959 risks and some strengths found in the twenty three and 0:13:47.000 --> 0:13:49.959 Me profiles that we were able to get through our reports, 0:13:50.080 --> 0:13:51.839 and also too, I don't know if you guys listen 0:13:51.920 --> 0:13:55.160 back a couple episodes maybe last season when we spoke 0:13:55.200 --> 0:13:57.720 to Dr Brown about health risk that black males face 0:13:57.800 --> 0:14:00.600 even and how to consider you know, the best guy 0:14:00.679 --> 0:14:04.480 that we can give our boys to live happier, long longer, 0:14:04.600 --> 0:14:07.880 healthier lives um than we could have imagined or then 0:14:07.880 --> 0:14:09.960 our that our parents could have imagined. And a lot 0:14:10.000 --> 0:14:12.160 of it, I think too, is just feeling like we're 0:14:12.160 --> 0:14:15.920 predisposed to certain illnesses or predisposed to certain health risks 0:14:15.960 --> 0:14:18.480 because it runs in the family. That's always the thing. 0:14:18.480 --> 0:14:20.640 Oh you know, doing that that report when you get 0:14:20.680 --> 0:14:21.920 to the doctor's office and they want to know the 0:14:22.000 --> 0:14:24.120 history not just of your health, but of your parents 0:14:24.120 --> 0:14:27.160 and your grandparents. Going down that entire gamut could be 0:14:27.240 --> 0:14:29.920 very exhausting for some of us because there's so many 0:14:29.920 --> 0:14:31.680 things that you hear about running in the family. But 0:14:32.160 --> 0:14:34.240 it makes me really wonder, and I've wondered this for 0:14:34.360 --> 0:14:37.000 years now, does it really run in the family or 0:14:37.040 --> 0:14:39.520 are we just products of our environment and the things 0:14:39.520 --> 0:14:42.040 that we had to endure for years. That's a good point. 0:14:42.120 --> 0:14:45.000 I mean, when we talk about my family, for example, 0:14:45.040 --> 0:14:47.800 I'll just give you one brief aspect of my report 0:14:47.840 --> 0:14:50.600 that I found out. But um, I'm Alzheimer's. You know, 0:14:50.720 --> 0:14:53.080 I have a genetic trait that makes me at higher 0:14:53.160 --> 0:14:56.360 risk for dementia. And I look at my grandmother who 0:14:56.560 --> 0:14:59.640 end up developing dementia and currently now she has to 0:14:59.680 --> 0:15:02.000 be in a just to living home. Della Della may 0:15:02.080 --> 0:15:05.320 She dropped the periause Della may ellis. I love my grandma. 0:15:05.400 --> 0:15:07.080 She watched me every summer from as young as I 0:15:07.120 --> 0:15:09.200 can remember until I was about fourteen and started playing 0:15:09.280 --> 0:15:15.240 organized sports. And then my uncle Charles, who um, but 0:15:15.360 --> 0:15:18.080 Uncle Charles was like one of the most vibrant men 0:15:18.240 --> 0:15:20.920 I ever met in my life. Like he just every 0:15:20.960 --> 0:15:22.840 time you see him, you would say with something. With Charles, 0:15:22.880 --> 0:15:26.000 you say something. He had a song related to him, 0:15:26.040 --> 0:15:28.520 always singing, and he was singing, and he was just 0:15:28.680 --> 0:15:31.240 always smiling and always in a good mood. And he 0:15:31.560 --> 0:15:35.480 developed early on set Alheimer's in his late fifties, which 0:15:35.520 --> 0:15:37.520 is a shock to all of us because that's young. 0:15:37.800 --> 0:15:40.120 That's extremely wrong. But when you think about what you're 0:15:40.120 --> 0:15:43.320 predisposed to or have a higher risk got genetically, um, 0:15:43.360 --> 0:15:45.680 you can adjust your lifestyle. And I was speaking to 0:15:45.760 --> 0:15:48.840 my cousin Kimberly, who is now like his caretaker and 0:15:49.040 --> 0:15:52.160 helps take care of him a lot um. She was saying, 0:15:52.200 --> 0:15:56.000 had they known, you know, all of these things, UM, 0:15:56.080 --> 0:15:58.120 he could have changed things in his life to either 0:15:58.560 --> 0:16:02.800 prolong his ability to have a normal life or prevented 0:16:02.800 --> 0:16:06.200 it altogether from happening, because he developed legions in his brain, 0:16:06.360 --> 0:16:11.360 and those legions came from stress, lack of sleep, also diet. Right. 0:16:11.640 --> 0:16:14.400 And the reason why this is important is because we're 0:16:14.440 --> 0:16:21.480 so used to UM teaching our kids traditions and conditioning 0:16:21.520 --> 0:16:24.440 them to be a certain way, especially our our black 0:16:24.440 --> 0:16:26.400 man and I say that because we have young we 0:16:26.440 --> 0:16:28.600 have sons. So when we talked to our boys, like 0:16:28.680 --> 0:16:31.000 be tough, you know, team, no sleep, you work hard, 0:16:31.080 --> 0:16:33.080 you do this, you do that, and you really don't 0:16:33.080 --> 0:16:35.320 take care of yourself. But we spoke to Dr Brown, 0:16:35.360 --> 0:16:37.600 I remember him saying that one night of bad sleep 0:16:37.640 --> 0:16:39.880 can be the equivalent of a month of poor diet. 0:16:40.680 --> 0:16:43.680 Three months. That's what was most mind blowing, like three 0:16:43.680 --> 0:16:46.280 months of eating bad which is crazy because I think 0:16:46.320 --> 0:16:48.560 about how many people. For example, my uncle Charles worked 0:16:48.560 --> 0:16:51.800 two or three jobs, you know, because he was consistently 0:16:51.800 --> 0:16:53.760 trying to make ends meet, and he was trying to 0:16:53.840 --> 0:16:55.800 not only help his family, but he helped so many 0:16:55.840 --> 0:16:57.840 other people. So when he was a deacon in the 0:16:57.920 --> 0:17:00.320 church Shout out Cell the Missionary Baptist Church. When he 0:17:00.360 --> 0:17:03.320 had any extra time, he was also doing his deacon duties. 0:17:03.520 --> 0:17:06.239 He was also also a Boy Scout leader, so he 0:17:06.280 --> 0:17:09.360 was always investing his time in his community and trying 0:17:09.359 --> 0:17:11.080 to take care of his family, and he really didn't 0:17:11.080 --> 0:17:13.159 take care of himself. And the reason why that is 0:17:13.160 --> 0:17:16.000 important is because you and I talk about using this 0:17:16.040 --> 0:17:19.080 opportunity as young parents with young kids to teach our 0:17:19.200 --> 0:17:22.160 kids how to take care of themselves from young not 0:17:22.240 --> 0:17:24.440 only in getting enough sleep, but also what you eat. 0:17:25.480 --> 0:17:28.600 You know, and mental health is important. Physical health is important, 0:17:28.600 --> 0:17:30.639 and the best way to go about creating a plan 0:17:30.800 --> 0:17:33.119 for both is knowing where you come from. Like I 0:17:33.160 --> 0:17:35.440 said in my sound Bity, you can't know where you're 0:17:35.440 --> 0:17:38.480 going unless you know where you're being. You know what 0:17:38.600 --> 0:17:40.680 something you said it was pretty interesting and it triggered 0:17:40.680 --> 0:17:44.640 in me the idea when you said that our parents generation, 0:17:44.720 --> 0:17:48.160 for example, like Uncle Charles generation, they worked so hard, 0:17:48.320 --> 0:17:51.960 even Nana so hard to ensure that their children were 0:17:51.960 --> 0:17:54.280 okay and their children's children because you and I were 0:17:54.280 --> 0:17:57.240 both pretty much raised by parents, but grandparents as well, 0:17:57.720 --> 0:17:59.920 which is even more special that we have the opper 0:18:00.000 --> 0:18:02.120 tmtunity to have our parents around for our children now, 0:18:02.560 --> 0:18:04.760 but we a lot of times put the onus on 0:18:04.800 --> 0:18:08.080 our parents to say they didn't do this for us, 0:18:08.119 --> 0:18:10.959 they didn't equipped us to be like this. They dropped 0:18:10.960 --> 0:18:12.359 the ball with that. We tend to be kind of 0:18:12.359 --> 0:18:15.080 hard on our parents, but we don't realize that they 0:18:15.119 --> 0:18:17.600 were really doing everything within their power to make sure 0:18:17.640 --> 0:18:19.679 that we would be okay, to provide for us, and 0:18:19.760 --> 0:18:23.280 that in turn created environments for lack of sleep, um 0:18:23.320 --> 0:18:26.000 for stress. They were under a lot of stress just 0:18:26.040 --> 0:18:29.040 trying to be able to make things work for us. 0:18:29.119 --> 0:18:31.800 I think about my parents who came from Jamaica and St. 0:18:31.840 --> 0:18:36.160 Vincent at young ages with just a suitcase and a dream, 0:18:36.200 --> 0:18:38.320 you know. So the lack of sleep for example, that 0:18:38.359 --> 0:18:40.919 I saw my mother have to endure because she was 0:18:40.960 --> 0:18:44.119 just trying to give us everything. We kind of have 0:18:44.200 --> 0:18:46.160 to give them a little bit of grace in that situation. 0:18:46.240 --> 0:18:49.080 Give them a little bit of grace then all the graces. 0:18:49.320 --> 0:18:52.960 Honestly feel like Millennials and gen z uh, it's a 0:18:53.040 --> 0:18:55.520 gen z Ears because we're millennials, Millennials and Gen z Ears. 0:18:55.960 --> 0:18:58.239 We we do a great job of pointing out all 0:18:58.280 --> 0:19:01.679 of our parents flaws, right, Like, I think that's all 0:19:01.720 --> 0:19:03.840 the trauma. Everything is generation trauma. And even we've talked 0:19:03.840 --> 0:19:07.240 about generational trauma. But what you don't realize is that 0:19:07.280 --> 0:19:09.320 you don't know what you don't know. There was no 0:19:09.400 --> 0:19:12.399 twenty three and me back then. Technology didn't exist back then, 0:19:12.440 --> 0:19:14.800 the science wasn't as good back then, so our parents 0:19:15.080 --> 0:19:17.680 weren't given the tools we have to be parents now. 0:19:17.720 --> 0:19:20.080 And a lot of times we always talked down about 0:19:20.080 --> 0:19:22.439 what our parents did wrong, as opposed to saying, well, 0:19:22.440 --> 0:19:26.639 you know what I survived, I'm here. They had to 0:19:26.640 --> 0:19:28.959 be doing something right. You know, it's not about what 0:19:29.040 --> 0:19:31.040 you did wrong. But it's like, now that we know better, 0:19:31.119 --> 0:19:33.880 let's do better. And I agree with you on that, 0:19:33.960 --> 0:19:37.720 like our parents did not like, for example, my father 0:19:37.760 --> 0:19:40.159 when it comes to history, yeah, he spoke to his 0:19:40.240 --> 0:19:42.080 mom and his dad, and he spoke his grandmother and 0:19:42.119 --> 0:19:45.199 his grandfather. But now I'm able to get extensive history. 0:19:45.280 --> 0:19:48.800 For example, on the report, I found out that this 0:19:48.920 --> 0:19:52.320 helped me with my um my identity crisis. But um 0:19:52.760 --> 0:19:58.520